#IT REALLY STARTS WITH KUDO HUH

[scarlettcryptid]

hardcore projecting my avoidancy onto dabi in this soulmate au thing i started in november

[hitomisuzuya]

Hello!!! I hope youve been doing well 💜

this is super self indulgent but harbinger scara that took a like to one of his subordinates... so he just keeps her in his room (or just close to him) and away from danger 🤭 both fluffy and smutty please

also, unrelated but, kudos to you because I was convinced i did NOT like bully fics and the one you wrote completely changed my mind 😭 safe to say im very much looking forward to part 2 🙂‍↕️ all your works are crazy awesome 🫶

fatui!scaramouche x fem!reader. fluffy smut. soft!dom scara. creampie. nipple play.

i really did enjoy writing this request. do not worry about self indulgent requests. i self indulged writing this lol. and i did? i actually feel flattered, thank you so much!

the balladeer's pet. that's what you are known as both inside and outside his squad. you can usually be seen following right him, and being quite frankly the bravest person his squad has ever seen given his temperament. scaramouche is a very possessive man however.

the word is so full of scary things, scary things that threatened to jump out from any corner and take you away from him. he knows you are strong, but it's because you are strong that you need him to protect you. if he is feeling particularly strongly about that on given days, or saying no to you coming on a dangerous mission with him, he keeps you stashed away in his room.

of course you could come and go as you pleased and do as you liked, but you had to start and end the day in his room. and he usually has a few eyes on you whenever you go out, whether you know it or not.

scaramouche is walking with a purpose. it was more than a couple of hours later in the night from when he said he would be back to you. and that made him anxious. he hates being away from you. despises it like he despises sweets. especially when he needs you in more than one way.

"scara, you are back! i missed you," you greet as you sat up in bed. your heart really does flutter seeing him after he has left you alone for a few days.

"what you are still doing awake? you should be sleeping," he scolds, sighing as he took off his hat. his cheeks flush seeing you wearing only one of his shirts and panties.

"i didn't want to go bed without you," you insist. you would've waited up for him regardless of whether he was late or not.

"you missed me, huh?" sitting on the bed next to you, he gently pushes you back down onto the bed. "say it again," he crawls on top of you, his lips brushing against your neck. "say you missed me."

"i missed you," you repeat, shivering as his tongue flicks against your pulse. you tilt your head to the side, giving him better access to lick and nip at your neck.

"hm, again," scaramouche's hand trails down to the hem of your shirt, bunching it up off your chest. the tip of his tongue flicks against your nipple. you let out a shaky sigh, moaning softly as he scoops the sensitive bud into his mouth to suck on it.

he has had a long and frustrating couple of days. the one thing he needs right now is you. to bury his cock into your warm cunt and make you moan for him.

"i missed you, scara," you moan as he prods his tongue on your nipple. his cock throbs hearing how cute you sounded. it never took him long to make you moan by sucking on your nipples.

he only grows needier feeling you squirm beneath him. the sensation of his tongue on your nipple made your clit swell and throb as your panties grow wet between your legs.

switching his attention to your other nipple, his hand slides down to your panties, taking his time skimming his fingers down your skin. your flesh soft, warm, and pliable to him. "so wet already for me," he teases as moves your panties aside. his fingers part your drooling folds to find your clit.

"i always miss you," your moans get louder in octave as your hips move to grind your clit on his fingers. wrapping your arms around him, you card your fingers through his soft hair.

scaramouche can't take the aching in his cock anymore. sitting up, he grabs your wrist, and pulls up up onto your knees in front of him. his lips find yours in a dominant kiss, groaning when you open your mouth for his tongue. his kisses are deep, open mouthed and passionate.

his lips hardly ever leave yours as he hastily tugs his shirt over your head. "such a good girl, practically gift wrapping yourself for me," he pushes you back down on your back, peeling your panties off your pussy before hastily discarding his clothes.

he chuckles seeing the blush dust your cheeks. hearing such praise from him only made you wetter. "you just keep those pretty eyes on me while i breed what belongs to me," taking his cock, he pushes his leaking cock head inside you before bottoming out with a satisfied groan, "your pussy is practically sucking my cock in."

you are exactly what he needed.

"i..i always want to be a good girl for you," you whimper as his cock kisses your sweet spot, making you see stars as you twitch underneath him. he marvels at just how pliable you feel, his cock pulsing snug between your spasming walls.

"my good girl, my sweet girl," his head is spinning from how deep he is fucking into you, "you just be still while i take of care of you," his head drops down into your neck, his teeth nipping at your neck as he moans, "you can do that for me, yes?"

"y-yes!" you cry out, clinging to him as he built up the intensity of your orgasm with such intent. the only thing he wants from you is to feel you cumming hard on his cock. your body is limp underneath his. he can feel you are close to cumming in the way you shake while you twitch.

your walls only clutch tighter on his cock hearing him praise you. whimper tinged moans are his only warning before your pussy gushes on his cock.

scaramouche's thrusts turn a bit harder than he meant them to be for a few moments, lost in the feeling of your pussy spasming on his cock as he chases his high. "i really fucking missed you," he moans, swallowing a whimper of his own as his cock pulses cum inside of you.

he is right where he wants to be.

[brookediamonds]

If youre still taking requests, maybe smth ab axel being the golden retriever boyfriend to the reader. Most people think she doesnt like him and is pitying him but axel makes her smile and laugh and he wants her to smile and laugh as much as possible because its his favorite thinf about her

the reason why i smile | Axel Kovačević x Fem! Reader

Summary: You have a classic case of RBF and there's only person on this plant that can bring the biggest smile to your face. And his name was Axel Kovačević.

side note: Axel is apart of Miyagi-Do in this world!

Word Count: 2.1k Warnings: none! fluff

prequel

not my gif

"She always looks mad."

"That's just her face."

"She looks so mean."

People couldn't be far from it. You were anything but mean. Sure your eyebrows were always closed in together, and smile lines were nonexistent on your face, but you were surely a smiling on the inside kind of person.

The only people who really knew that were you, your parents, and Axel Kovačević. It's nothing personal to the rest of the world, but what did everyone else have to offer?

You and your teammates have just finished another lesson with Sensei LaRusso and Sensei Lawerence, your body was still running off adrenaline from the sparring you just finished, earning a kudos from your Sensei's.

"That was an awesome match," Axel said as the two of you tied your shoes.

"It was whatever," you respond humbly, with a shrug. Axel snorted making you bump hips wit him.

"Hey, guys!" Sam chippers, walking up to you and Axel along with Miguel.

"Hey," Axel greets them as you continued tying your laces.

"We're gonna head to Golf N'Stuff right now, do you all want to join us?" The curly haired girl asks with a bright smile.

"Yeah, sounds like fun!" your boyfriend responds happily. "Right, (Y/n)?"

You glanced up at the blue eyed boy next to you with an amused expression.

"I guess," you sighed dramatically adjusting your tank top. "But I'm not going like this."

"Of course, we're gonna get changed and meet over there at six," Sam assures you.

You nod and stand up, grabbing your gym bag. Axel followed suit, trailing behind you as the two of you left the Miyagi-Do dojo.

"Good news!" Sam skips over to Tory and Robby who stood over by the exit talking amongst themselves. "I got (Y/n) and Axel to join us later tonight!"

"You actually got her to go?" Tory raises her eyebrows surprised by Sam's news. "Did you have to bribe her or something?"

"Look, I know she's been hard to get to know, but maybe she'll open up a little more after tonight," Sam encourages the group.

"Especially with Axel around," Miguel adds in. "She seems to talk a little more with him."

"Huh," Robby realizes. "You're right, she does talk to us more when he's there."

"I bet they're dating," Tory chimes as the four of the friends began walking to Sam's car.

"I doubt it," Miguel scoffs. "Girl never smiles, much less shows she likes anyone."

"But she does smile when Axel is around," Sam points out to her boyfriend. "Tory might be on to something."

"Okay, let's not speculate," Robby says holds his hands up in defense. "I'm sure they're just friends because they joined us at the same time."

"I'm with Robby on this one," Miguel agreed with his step-brother.

The girls rolled their eyes, sharing a secretive look between them as the four gathered in the Mercedes.

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Soon enough six pm rolled around, everyone meeting at the entrance of the arcade building. As you and Axel exited the car, your new friends waited patiently for you both.

"Alright, do you guys wanna start with mini golf or the arcade?" Miguel inquires as the six of you stood together.

"Mini golf!" Sam and Tory shout out making the boys laugh.

"Sound cool with you guys?" Robby asks turning to you and Axel.

"As long as (Y/n)'s on my team, we're good to go," Axel rubs his hands together, making your snort.

Sam’s eyes sparkled mischievously as she took notice to your lingering eyes on the boy next to you. "Actually, I’ve got a better idea. How about… girls versus boys?"

"I like that idea," you spoke walking over to the brunette. Axel's face drops seeing your betrayal.

"And loser buys snacks," Tory adds in with a devious smirk.

"Deal," Miguel agrees. "Hope you ladies brought your wallets."

"We won't need them," you taunt back. "Let's go get our clubs."

Tory and Sam fist bump behind your back, happy they were able to get you on their team. The music played loudly around the venue, neon lights lighting up the outside as everyone grabbed their gear.

As the six of you lined up at the first obstacle, you placed the ball down steadily lining up your shot. As you were about to hit the ball, you feel a presence lean down close to you, his voice low and warm, "good luck."

"Go away," you swat Axel away from you as if he were a gnat in your ear. He laughs watching as you carefully hit the target, the ball smoothly going down the drain.

"Nice one!" Sam cheers you on. You glare over at Axel who stood happily behind you, as if he hadn't tried to sabotage you.

As Sam went up next, you walked over to the tall boy, using your golf club to lean on.

"Don't think that flirty tone is gonna work on me," you say lowly so no one else would hear you.

"I do not know what you are talking about," Axel responds, playing dumb.

Without your knowledge, Tory catches Axel squeezing your left hip, before moving to go next at the ball. She knew it.

----------------------------------------------------

After winning by one shot, the six of you decide to head inside and continue your fun with other games. As all of you split amongst yourselves, you went along with Sam and Robby to grab some game cards for the rest of your group.

"So, how'd you do it?" Tory asks moving to stand beside Axel.

"Do what?" He asks out of confusion.

"How did you manage to get with (Y/n)?" She smirks. Miguel looks over at the blonde wide eyed at her question.

"Tory!" Miguel mutters.

Axel barks out a laugh, a tint of a blush creeping up his neck.

"Holy shit," Miguel whispers seeing Axel's sheepish look. "You are dating (Y/n)!"

"What can I say?" Axel smiles softly, looking over at you as you stood in line grabbing a card. "I like a challenge."

"No but seriously, she's hard to read, how'd you get her to open up?" Miguel questions the tall boy next to him.

"She's actually one of the easiest people to talk to," he says. "Once you get past her 'don't talk to me' vibe, she's a great listener."

Tory looks over at Axel impressed with his description of her, now seeing how intently she always paid attention to those around her.

"Okay, we have enough for pretty much every game here," Sam, Robby, and (Y/n) come back to the group.

Miguel and Tory watched as you immediately went to Axel's side, your arm barely grazing his.

"I think we should start at basketball," Axel says turning to you.

"Fine, but don't cry when I beat you," you respond sassily making Robby and Tory laugh.

"She's so mean," Axel exhales watching you saunter towards the basketball machine. "I love it."

He walks off after you, placing a hand on your back making you turn back to him with a slight smile.

"Did we miss something?" Robby asks Tory seeing you bump your hips with Axel's to scoot him over to his side.

"Tory and Sam were right," Miguel admits with a playful eye roll. "They're dating."

"You see!" Sam cheers raising a hand to high five Tory.

"Makes sense," Robby nods looking over at you both as you let Axel stand behind you to guide your hands shoot the basketball.

And completely miss, making you laugh and gently punch him in the shoulder.

"They're cute," Sam pouts seeking her own affection from her own boyfriend.

As the other four watched you, you turned your back to them, facing the boy who just beat you in the game.

"Why are they looking at us like that?" You crossed your arms, your mouth falling into a straight line.

"I might've told them I'm hopelessly in love with you," Axel says grabbing the tickets that printed out of the machine. He stands up straight, taking a step towards you as you narrowed your eyes up at him.

"You what?" You laughed softly.

"They figured it out," Axel explains with a slight grin. "Someone can't keep their hands off me."

You rolled your eyes playfully, shoving him away from you softly, unable to hide your shy smirk.

"Whatever, you're the one that's always hanging off me," you flip your hair over your shoulder.

"I can't help it, you're irresistible," he says nonchalantly making you blush. "Now, let's win some more tickets because I see a stuffed dragon begging me to win it for you."

"You're ridiculous," you scoffed glancing over at the pink dragon sitting on one of the shelves behind the counter.

"You love it," Axel teases you, quickly pecking your forehead.

"Fine, but only because you made me lose," you say grabbing ahold of his hand, leading him to another game.

Axel can't help but smile at his girl, enjoying every minute she dragged him around.

"So cute," Sam cooes as she inserted her game card into a game of ski ball, seeing Axel and (Y/n) walk hand in hand toward the air hockey table.

"Adorable," Robby nods his head in agreement.

"Wait!" Axel stops you two in your place, making you come to a halt. "'Let's do this real quick."

"Axel," you groaned as he pushed you into a photo booth. You sighed as he shut the curtain closed from prying eyes, and slid a five dollar bill into the machine.

"You will love it, come here," he places an arm over your shoulder making you scoot back into his hold, wanting to be annoyed.

"I hate pictures," you grumble as you waited for the countdown.

"Not with me you don't," he says teasingly leaning in close to you to press a sloppy kiss against your cheek making you push him away as you laughed.

"That was perfect," he grinned seeing it pop on the screen, perfectly capturing your relationship. "Let's do something silly."

You decide to go along with the boy you adored, and stick your tongue out holding up a peace sign as he copied your same pose.

"Okay, now sweet," he suggests, his expression softening. He leaned his forehead against yours, his bright blue eyes catching your breath, like they always do.

"Axel," you murmered, feeling a flutter of warmth spread through you.

He grinned before molding your lips with his own, the final flash capturing the sweet moment. When he pulls back, you're flustered but peck his lips one last time.

The screen displayed the photo strip preview, and Axel reached out to grab the print as it slid out of the machine. He held it up with a triumphant smile.

"Look at that beautiful smile," he says pointing at the first picture where you're fighting to hold back a smile as you push him away in the photo.

"Gross," you fake gag.

"Hey, it's my favorite thing about you, you know?" Axel defends your feature. You look up at him with curious eyes.

"Really?" Your tone is genuine, a certain look of innocence Axel hardly ever saw.

"I thought it was obvious," he remarks pulling his phone out, and opening his gallery. He wiped through rows of phots of you smiling, some of them you weren't even looking at the camera.

"I love to see you smile," he exclaims, still scrolling through more photos. You can't help but smile, actually smile, with the way your heart melts as he looks at your pictures fondly.

Axel's eyes wonder over to you as you admire the photographs.

"That's my girl," he says proudly making you shake your head.

"Yeah, you still owe your girl some nachos and a slushy," you remind him playfully as you both moved to leave the booth.

"Yes dear," he replies with a mock-serious tone, staring down at you lovingly.

Your group of friends walk up to you, peering over your shoulder to see the photos.

"What were you two doing in there?" Miguel teases you as he bumped his shoulder against yours making you roll your eyes.

"Getting proof," Axel said confidently, pulling out the photo strip and holding it up for everyone to see. "She loves me!"

"Axel!" you whined as everyone closed in on him, taking in the pictures.

"Freaking adorable," Tory states giving you a sideways smile.

"Who knew (Y/n) smiled," Robby eggs you on making you frown.

"See what you did," you said snatching the photo out of Axel's grip. "You're messing with my street cred!"

"Worth it," he shrugged, completely unbothered. "I will buy you Reese's to make up for it."

You perked up at the idea of the peanut butter dessert. "Fine."

As you walked along with Sam and Tory, Miguel and Robby fell back behind with Axel.

"They have us wrapped around their fingers, don't they?" Robby sighed out referring to their girlfriends whom walked ahead of them, sharing laughter.

"Oh for sure," Miguel agrees.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Axel grinned, already thinking of ways on how to win you that pink dragon that called your name.

-------------------------------------------------

(a/n: OMGGG I loved writing this!!! It was so cute and fun, I might write more on this trope. Thank you for this request!!)

[roosterforme]

Geriatric Millennial | Rooster x Reader

Bradley loves all things '90s. You don't completely understand it, but you appreciate his spirit.

1000 words

Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Check out my masterlist for more!

There were certain scenarios that became normal over time when you were in a relationship with a man more then ten years your elder. Sometimes you didn't understand certain movie references. Slang words and jokes occasionally went over your head. He and his friends would often reminisce about trends you'd never witnessed. But Bradley never made you feel bad about it, and you never called him an old-timer unless you were joking.

You were used to these things, but nothing quite prepared you for what you saw when you got home from work. Bradley was relaxing on the couch in something that looked like a bright blue, full body straitjacket with some random vintage headphones on his head.

"What the fuck?" you muttered, inching closer when you realized he was listening to music and hasn't spotted you yet. You glanced around the room, trying to locate the source of disturbing chattering sound that just started, and you tripped over a hard, black ball.

Bradley looked up at you with a smile. "Hey, you're home early." He quickly stood in his weird, fleece outfit and leaned in to give you a kiss, but you leaned away.

"What on earth is happening here?" you asked, standing frozen as he pulled his headphones off.

"What are you talking about?" He looked puzzled by your words but not by all of the weird things in the living room. 

"I'm talking about what you're wearing. And the robotic voice!"

"Oh," he laughed. "This is just my Snuggie."

"Your what?"

He glanced down at himself. "My Snuggie? I found it in a box of my stuff from highschool."

You were still so confused. "What's a Snuggie? And what is that weird sound?"

When his gaze fell to something fuzzy and brown on the couch, you jerked back in shock. "You mean my Furby?"

You glared at the critter and it's enormous, evil eyes. "Is that one of those things from that '80s Gremlins movie you're obsessed with?"

He barked out a laugh like you'd just said the funniest thing he'd ever heard in his life. "Baby, no. It's not a Gremlin. It's just a Furby. But imagine if Furby manufactured replica Gremlins... Would have been fascinating." It was starting to sound like he was speaking a foreign language. "I was just listening to Chumbawamba on my Discman and playing with my pogs and my Tomagachi. I literally forgot the Furby was even here."

You were sure you were gaping at him like he had two heads as you reached up to run your palm across his forehead. "Do you have a fever?"

"Huh? No, but I did eat a Kudos bar I found in the box, so I might potentially have an upset stomach later. But it was worth it."

After you pinched the bridge of your nose, you asked, "I'm sorry, but what did you say you were listening to?"

"Tubthumping. By Chumbawamba. You know it, don't you? Pissing the night away, pissing the night away. I get knocked down...." He looked at you in wide eyed shock. "You don't know that song? How is that possible?"

You didn't want to tell him that Chumba whatever wasn't a word. And neither was Snuggie. Not when he looked so adorably baffled. You stroked your fingers across his forehead and down his cheek as you shook your head.

"No, I don't know that song, because I'm not forty like you are. And you look kind of alarming in this thing." You pinched the fleece fabric and pulled it away from his body.

"It's my Snuggie," he muttered. "It was from an Infomercial."

"I don't know what that means." He gasped and you started laughing. "But I would love to sit down with you while you explain it to me. As long as you don't make me eat something from the late 1900s."

He took your hand in his bigger one and and led you toward the couch and the demonic looking Furby. "Okay, but first, you need to listen to this CD. Because Jake told me Chumbawamba is a guilty pleasure, but it's actually really good."

About twenty minutes later, you were wrapped up in the Snuggie, enveloped in softness and Bradley's lingering body warmth. "I love this thing," you told him, burying your face in the fleece. "And yes, Chumbawamba is good, but I like Hoobastank better. And I'm really sorry I accidentally kicked your Magic 8 ball across the floor."

He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your cheek as you skipped a track on his Discman. "That's okay. Hey, do you want to learn how to play pogs? The best part is, I'm not sure there are actually any rules at all."

"Sure," you said with a shrug. "Why the hell not? As long as you lock that Furby away and never let it out ever again."

"Heard."

[f1crecs]

Fic Rec List - Lando/Oscar (Part 2)

if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let me know and we will remove it immediately, no questions asked. we have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop us a message🤍

have a pairing you want us to do next? please read the faqs and then head to the inbox.

don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments!

you can find part 1 here

nsfw: fly the ocean (in a silver plane) by @settsplitt | E | 2.6k Lando and Oscar are fighter jet pilots who share a room on base. Oscar doesn’t seem to think much about the risk of what they do, but it consumes Lando. This is an excellent character study and builds such a big world out of very brief moments. “Hot” and “existential worry” hold hands in a circle around this fic.

He’s practically fucking useless in the briefs and debriefs. He just feels his brain slipping away, to the sky and the seas and angels 10. He knows other people are noticing, but honestly, if they want him to be normal they should fucking put him back with Oscar. None of it matters, anyway, because Lando never has any control.

nsfw: Keep Talking by @wanderingblindly | E | 2.7k This is such a beautifully written fic! The trust and comfort here is really moving - it's a soft, syrupy sort of story, that unfolds beautifully. Love it!

With practiced hands, he slides his fingers into Lando’s curls and scratches lightly at his scalp. It shoots like lightning down Lando’s neck, ringing in his ears. 

no proof, not much (but you saw enough) by @ipleadbritney | T | 3.5k Soulmates. Lando and Oscar are pulled aside by the FIA, suspected of an illegal soulbond. What I liked about it: The character voices in this story are absolutely spot on. It's Oscar's point of view and his anxiety about the situation underlying his calm demeanor is a delicate balance this author depicts beautifully.

“Yeah?” Oscar wonders which version of Lando he'll get. Will it be the one who's hyper focused on every tiny detail, including the curls of his hair? Will it be the one who's living proof why some kids deserve to be leashed? Or will it be the Lando who flirts as much as he breathes, one step away from launching his OnlyFans account?

nsfw: Reasons Why Lando Norris Might Be A Werewolf by @fenesacha | E | 3.9k Oscar, a werewolf, starts to notice small things about his teammate that may mean Lando is a werewolf too. (He's not.) What I like it: This fic is funny and breezy with great dialogue and an Oscar perfectly happy to shift gears and take it in stride when he realises Lando isn't a werewolf, but he is something else Oscar hadn't expected.

“Your dick comes off?” Oscar blurts out before he can stop himself. Lando stares at him like he’s stupid, which makes a change. “I don’t have a dick, Oscar. It’s a packer.” Right. Oscar’s not entirely sure what a packer is, but he’s got the gist of it all. “No dick. Okay. That’s cool.” “Is it?” “Yeah, mate.” Oscar’s not a bigot, he’s just having to mentally correct every fantasy he’s had for the past God-knows-how-many years. “You’re trans, then?” “Yeah, but it’s not common knowledge, so don’t go telling all your friends.” Lando turns his head so that he’s looking at Oscar, then frowns. “Wait, so you’re not trans?” “Uh, no?” “Huh, thought you were. You give off those vibes.”

worth the trouble (it was an honour) by @maaxverstappen | G | 4.6k Oscar and Lando started something, knowing it would end. It's all sweeter than it is bitter. I'm absolutely entranced by this fic. The emotion comes across so clearly, such a perfect, gentle bittersweet feeling. I don't re-read fics often, and this is one i've found myself returning to regularly.

They were always good at that, talking without words. Sometimes, and Oscar would never admit this, he would think cough twice if you hear this, being both surprised and relieved when Lando stayed quiet.

nsfw: you signed up for this by @strawberry-daiquiris | E | 6.9k This is a wonderful magical realism au where older!Oscar time travels back and teaches Oscar how to treat Lando properly. I think writing the same character twice and all that separates them is time gone by is so impressive. it really shows great writing skills and characterisation. The smut was obviously so well written but what I loved so dearly about this is how philosophical it was, so much growth for these characters within a single evening. A true must read for the landoscar community!!

He’s looking at himself, like some kind of fucked up mirror at a funfair. It’s him, but there are lines he doesn’t recognise, a heft to his upper body he can’t feel. His face looks older, and his teeth annoyingly, a little straighter. Oscar finds, to his horror, that this is him but hotter. Less hair though, at least there’s that. “Hello.” Not-him-but-him says, with a little wave and a sideways smile. Next to him, Lando giggles, and when Oscar turns to look at him he’s returning the wave, wiggling his fingers and letting the sheet he’d pulled up to his neck drop to right below his nipples. “Stop flirting with him!” Oscar exclaims, then reconsiders his point. “Or me. Or... alright, actually mate, who the fuck are you?”

force majeure by debrief | T | 7k Oscar and Lando get bodyswapped. The author absolutely nails the voices of both characters, Lando's chaotic way of speaking versus Oscar's more measured tone. Its largely constructed as a series of text messages until the last act, which is an inspired way of showing when a character is freaking out - Lando's messages in particular get more incoherent and full of typos when he's upset. The way they gradually draw toward one another as their situation isolates them (anyone else they confide in is erased from existence after), being one another's strength and comfort and support, is really beautiful to watch unfold.

craving for caprficns sn caprin sc capri sus suns capri suns and like so theyre usually on the lower shelf in ther corner i kown cause i alswasy get then here even tho theyre pricier priceri pricier and like they werent there and i double checked i asked the emploeye that was stocking the shelves in the next aisle and she sad said she dones t know what a capri usn is?? she even asked me if it was a zodiac sun zodiac sign shit i cant cry over caprin sun osc

nsfw: love along the way by @gaslybottoms | E | 10k AU, sex work/adult entertainment. Oscar is a videographer for an adult entertainment studio. Lando is one of the performers. Oscar sees Lando struggling emotionally after intense scenes and wants to help him. Lando, though, is very reluctant to accept it. This is a wonderful fic - Oscar is hurting so badly for Lando and is desperate to comfort him, but he can only be brushed off so many times before he gives up. He is so worried for Lando that he misses signs of distress in himself, which ends up bringing about a resolution to the situation in a way nobody (including me!) expected.

It’s cheesy. A line literally straight from a porno, and one Oscar has heard so many times over the last year or so. He shouldn’t find himself hating the way it sounds, curling around Jenson’s tongue as he chases his release. He’s not even a bad guy. Outside of filming, Oscar likes him. He’s always up for a laugh, and he makes an effort to get to know about all the people that work in the agency, not just the actors he’s supposed to do scenes with. He’s always supportive, offering advice from a mature point of view. And yet. Right now, Oscar can’t stand him. The way that he gets to take care of Lando in a way that Oscar can’t, because Lando doesn’t open up to him the same way. The way of telling Oscar how he feels, not how he might open up around Oscar’s -

the sun (in your eyes) by @wisteriagoesvroom | M | 11.3k Lando stumbles upon a flower shop. Oscar's flower shop, to be precise. This is a wonderful florist!Oscar au. What I love so dearly about this is that the author has taken the lyric/concept of "you don't have to say i love you to say i love you" and applied it to flower language. How creative and clever. I love how throughout this fic Oscar and Lando really become what the other person needs, they are always there for each other. All of it just feels so safe and comforting. The dialogue is witty and fun and the descriptions are really well rounded. And as the cherry on top, this was written For Me so its wonderfully perfect.

Home. Home is pine needles and Ribena and his first car and a return ticket to Heathrow and taking your seat at your local cafe and the baristas knowing your name. But home can also be this: an open door, a room full of flowers and green and life. A cup of your favourite tea and a snack you’ve come to associate with the word comfort. A conversation with a man who offers you a safe harbour, with no conditions to be anything other than to be what you are.

nsfw: you're burning up, i'm cooling down by @foggieststars | E | 12.3k Lando and Oscar have an understanding, Oscar doesn't get to come until Lando decides he's been good enough. This fic is so good and it might be my most reread f1 fic ever at this point. The dialogue is amazing and feels so real and on point for both Lando and Oscar. Their dynamic is so fun and sexy and well written and it makes so much sense for them and what I feel like landoscar would be. I lack the words to accurately describe how good this is: the writing, the plot, the sex are all phenomenal.

He teases Oscar about it, sometimes. How badly he wants it - to win, to be good. Lando asks him if he ever gets hard in the car out of some twisted desperation to please people. He loves thinking about Oscar’s muscled thighs clenching together in the car, vibrations running through his whole body, sparking little points of contact. So Lando lets the little game drag on into the race build-up sometimes, when Oscar is okay with it.

under my skin by @lellabellawrites | M | 16.8k An AU in which Oscar and Lando are serial killers who have a meet cute while dumping bodies, and fall in love. This fic absolutely floored me with how good it was, how this pair of incredibly dangerous people managed to focus all that intensity on one another. Their devotion to one another is absolutely touching, even if you can never forget what they do for fun. Oscar is methodical and calculating, Lando is more impulsive, which is perfect characterisation and shows how well they fit together, the Yin and Yang of it all. The ending left me breathless.

Oscar knows exactly who this man is now. The Quad County Killer sprung up last summer and has been on quite a spree lately. A handful of Oscar's kills have been attributed to him, which should be a relief from the extra cover it brings, but instead only pisses him off. This guy works recklessly, leaving his kills out in the open like he wants to be found out. Oscar would like the papers to give him a little more credit than that. "I work better alone." His disdain must be evident as the man relents with a sneer of disappointment. "Could you at least help me drag this down—" "No." "Fine." He takes one end of the duffel and heaves it over the curb with more strength than Oscar would have expected from his slender frame. "Did you sink yours or float?" "Sink. I'm not an idiot." "Alright. Rude."

you be time, i'll be space by littleplumtree | M | 50.8k Lando and Oscar are part of a space exploration team with the goal of finding sentient life outside of earth. why I like it: This author is a master of the details. Every piece, every detail, every action and reaction, they all serve to make the story richer and more vibrant. The characterization, too, feels comfortable and real. It's a joy to read.

With his eye to the microscope, Lando makes a heart wrenching little sound of relief. “Oh. Oh my god. There you are.” Oscar leans his elbows on the bench and stares into the tank. There’s nothing to see with the naked eye, but in that water is something that could one day, given all the time in the world, evolve into something like themselves. Maybe one day they’ll build pyramids and cry at sad movies and invent Tupperware and come up with a thousand different ways to insult each other online.

nsfw: Casual by @loquarocoeur | E | 95k AU, college roommates. Lando is perpetually horny and unlucky when it comes to hookups. He suggests that he and Oscar should just be friends with benefits, you know. Casual. Oscar agrees, even though he is madly in love with Lando and knows its a recipe for disaster. Lando gradually starts to realise the same. I am insane for just how good this fic is. It's not that the guys don't talk, they talk all the time and even communicate about their unique situation, they understand one another deeply and yet they still don't realise what space they occupy in one another's hearts. They are completely compatible in bed, if only they knew - Lando in particular is self conscious about the way he gets in bed and fights his very nature, all while not realising Oscar likes him that way. The angst is heavy but they get there in the end, while it has plenty of funny dialogue moments to lighten things. The characterisation is wonderful all round.

“So I stopped asking for sex and now we haven’t fucked in like five days which should be fine, but I don’t know, I’m getting desperate and he's just, like, fine, so maybe he doesn't need the sex, maybe he doesn't want the sex anymore, but he just can't admit it—” “Okay, Lando, I think you’re really overthinking—” “No! Because you see the fucking isn’t the only thing, the thing is that somehow we’ve sort of accidentally slept in the same bed for like a week and now we’re sort of fighting so I couldn’t sleep last night.” “Accidentally... For a week?”

[aurae-rori]

DR RATIO ANALYSIS PT 3 BUT IT'S JUST GAY

Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, you've done part one, and part two, so why do we need a part three?" The answer is because of two things - one. I made a deal with the Tumblr Peoples that if one of my posts hit more than 50 likes I would do this analysis. Two. Mihoyo is making this shit canon. I CAN'T MAKE THIS UP. So, let's delve into my usual disclaimer, as we might have some new people joining us for the first time with my insanity.

I have been researching psychology personally for about six years, so although I am not a professional (crawling my way there through the education system. I will be one, one day.) I do have some experience with analyzing homosexuals. Psychology hours, my children. They don't call me "chronically cooking" for nothing. Maybe I should change my url to that...

NOW THAT MY LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, LET'S GET INTO THIS! It's time to deconstruct these homosexuals like a modern airplane, because they might as well be taking off with how canon they are.

"It can't be canon," they say, but then Mihoyo DOES PAID SPONSORSHIPS WITH THESE FUCKERS BEING GAY. We've all seen the paid partnership edit. We've all seen the video where Aventurine has the audio of "nice rack" as he talks to Dr. Ratio. PAID SPONSORSHIPS. Now, if that piece of evidence isn't enough for you - let's dive into their actual relationship, which is just a HOMOSEXUAL MESS. I will be focusing more on how Dr. Ratio sees this guy as this is a Dr. Ratio analysis™, but hey, the crumbs.. we eat 'em all. Amen.

Let's start off (I say as I write this part three days later) about how people are like, 'Aven is Ratio's favourite idiot' WRONG. Ratio does NOT consider Aventurine to be an idiot and knows that he is smart and capable in his own right. While Ratio is book smart, Aven is extremely street smart and holds his own very well. Ratio does not consider Aventurine to be an idiot as he takes off his plaster head around him and actually indulges in his whims around him. This is a blatant showcase of fondness because although he is emotionally constipated and can't be affectionate through words without sounding semi-backhanded because he's never had true affection in his life, he showcases his love through actions rather than words. He's just bad at showing love, okay? But he does love Aven. Or like him, to some extent, if you don't want to see them as romantic, which is fine. However, no matter what you label their bond as, it's obvious that they care for one another.

Also, the fucking ZEST FEST that was 'keeping up with Star Rail'. He says, "wait a minute - MUTUAL?" which indicates that he has respect for Aventurine in the first place. He LITERALLY TOLD US that he respects Aventurine and he was commenting on Aventurine's playstyle & everything.. also, at the end, he was here because 'I appreciate this show's dedication to knowledge' - his TONE. Kudos to the VA because that was not convincing at all. Bro was NOT here for the knowledge, bro was here to be GAY!!! Also his little own bathtub couch. We all know Aven bought it for him. Trust, I am John Hoyoverse.

"The Charming Audacity" HUH? BRO? Okay this is hilarious to me because this is the first time that we ever really see them interact with one another, and we get absolutely bitchslapped in the fact that Dr. Ratio calls this guy's audacity 'charming'. That's GAY. That's HOMOSEXUAL.

Also, comparing him to a peacock.. a very beautiful bird.... Must I say more?

Now, the part that I really want to focus on is the part where he gives the Doctor's Note to Aventurine. This shit is important. And I agree with the people who are like - Acheron helped him. Because she did. She was a big part of it and she helped Aventurine get back on his feet in the void. Dr. Ratio is not his only reason to live, but the note, showing that someone will stay by his side? Showing that someone truly cares for him? Someone who's waiting for him when he get back? This bond that he has with Dr. Ratio isn't fake. He already has a starting point to get back to - an anchor to return to. Dr. Ratio is his anchor. Whenever he goes off to do crazy shit, Veritas Ratio will be there when he returns. Because Ratio is loyal. Ratio cares. He cared enough to almost jeopardize their plan to make sure that Aventurine was going to be okay. He cares so damn much about Aventurine that he decided that this man's emotional state after the fake betrayal was more important than all of fucking Penacony.

If you want an example of "I would let the world burn for you," it's Ratio. He's a romantic not in the traditional sense, but he cares and loves Aventurine so damn much it makes my heart hurt. "Do stay alive," he says, knowing that Aventurine struggles with living. Those three words mean the whole fucking world to someone who struggles with suicidal ideation and suicidal thoughts. Someone wants you to live. Someone wants you to stay. Someone wants you by their side.

Dr. Ratio cares. Let me say that again - he cares. He banters with Aventurine, tries to create an environment where Aventurine can feel a little bit more comfortable with the two of them, even in a place as dangerous as Penacony. He will put his own life on the line for Aventurine.

He cares. He cares so damn much. I hate gay people. They make me VIOLENTLY homophobic.

Dr. Ratio after expressing his care indirectly and complimenting Aventurine indirectly: Did I do it?

Aventurine, who has caught none of the hints:

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[prlssprfctn]

hey! so the intro for this is weird but pls hear me out

yesterday night while walking home from a bar with friends, a group of men probably about my age (early-mid 20s) in a large truck started shouting queer slurs at us then threatened to kill me 😬

my nerves are still a little frazzled but my stupid brain is currently attempting to manage these anxieties about what happened by going “hmm I wonder how the batkids would have responded if they saw that happen”

so I was just wondering if you had any kinda headcanons or anything about how any of the batkids would handle a scenario like this :) I know this is kinda heavy haha so pls don’t feel like you gotta respond to this but I really like your writings and thought it was worth a shot to reach out and ask :) thank you!

(also, my friends and I did make a report and we’re currently talking with the civil rights division of our local gov’t about handling this case as a hate crime so we are in the midst of handling it)

oh my god, i am so sorry this happened to you. i am glad you put charges and dealing with the situation, though. be careful, and i hope you are recovering well.

Bruce, i feel like, would try to charm his way out of this at first since he doesn't need additional interent drama. maybe he will try to smile politely and go along lines like, "oh, is that supposed to be offensive?" but if the situation escalates, he will not be afraid just to fight them off. who would blame him, anyway?

i have a feeling that Dick doesn't like fighting on the streets as well, and he usually tries to escalate the fight, only ever using it as the last resort. i also think that if someone picks up on him at night, he just decides to creep out everyone by using his amazing gymnastics. like, imagine him just turning his head around like an owl, cracking bones like in horror and pretending to be a spider — men will run away in the instant. without a fight. that's effective.

Cassandra is not a one to deal with bullshit like this. she doesn't acknowledge these people at all, but if they start to actively catch her attention and cause a fight, she will first offer the scariest death stare to ever exist. people mostly scram afterwards, but if someone didn't, she will nonchalantly break the bones of their arm. as a threat.

you see, Jason probably is not getting annoyed by people like this. who would pick up on a fucking double-fridge, right? i think he mostly spawns behind his siblings' backs when someone picks up on them and terrifies tf out of others. but if someone did risk their lives, i think Jason would either just point a gun silently (if he is in a bad mood) or start roast these people so much, they would leave.

oh, Tim. Tim is gracious about it. someone starts haunting him on the streets, so he wordlessly records a video, and while that person still screams at him, he calls his lawyer. they will get charged and outed in the news for this faster than they will finish their attempts to terrify Tim.

Steph starts shouting back. she is so loud about it that people usually start gathering around them, and she starts making him join the conversation, too. "just look at this weirdo, huh! hey, hey, you, look at him and tell me — isn't he fucking insane?" and stuff. she is equally good at escalating the fight to the reaching point of just make people leave embarrassed, depending on the situation.

baby Damian definitely doesn't even understand the meaning of slurs — his family is adequate, and he is a sheltered kid in a way, so he has no idea what all that means. but he feels a threatening aura. he first reminds people who he is, giving a chance to escape... and when it is not working, someone is about to get stabbed.

Duke tries to joke it off first. like, in a "oh, from all slurs, i got called *this*? that's something new, buddy, kudos" kind of way. if it doesn't work and people continue annoying him, he simply fights these people. he doesn't care much.

[ruins-of-tragedy]

Will be actually watching RWBY instead of just keeping tabs on it 'cause I need a new personality for the foreseeable future.

Thoughts on the first trailers ahead...

Red (Riding Hood):

- "Summer Rose: Thus Kindly I Scatter." That's a nice thing to have on one's memorial stone. Especially if you get cremated. Or in this case, can turn into flowers am guessing.

- I too want to disappear in a flurry of roses.

- The lyrics of the song playing here give glimpses of Weiss, Blake and Yang... "White is cold and always yearning, burdened by a royal test. Black the beast descends from shadows. Yellow beauty burns... gold." NOICE!!!

- Blood turning into rose petals is a nice touch.

- The music here is making me want to go on a medieval adventure.

- The fuck. A gun that can turn into a scythe too?! 🤯❤️‍🔥👏🏻

- Ruby killing wolves when she is supposed to be inspired from Little Red Riding Hood makes me happy.

- Holy hell. Badass two-in-one weapon being wielded badassedly.

- The background score used had such a haunting quality to it. Much kudos to the people behind the piece.

White (Snow):

- I love that it starts with a quote. And a good one at that. Gods, am already falling.

- The Schnee are in total three siblings, if I remember right. When Weiss is singing, it begins with one shadow. Then two. Followed by there being three lights on her, and it gives the stage three folks beneath her own self. Am I reading too much into it?

- Weiss fighting a big knight-like figure. Snow White is delivered to the jungle by a soldier. Perhaps I am forcing the parallel, but I like it.

- The song in this one is giving me chills. Amazeballs.

- Okay, the fade to black got me for a second. I thought it would end here.

- Weiss really be regal elegance personified. Her fighting style is so put-together. That bitch-slap from the giant knight really drove it in.

- Her sword has colourful modes of varying prowess. Probably not queer coded but that won't stop me. ✨🌈💖

- The stepping bases Weiss makes out of thin air, are they snowflakes?! The designs on them look so intricate. WoWie.

- Huh. I thought the mark on her left eye was an injury bleeding. Apparently not. Whoa.

Black (And the Beast):

- This one also has a quote. Which makes sense 'cause she be very well read from what I have heard. I don't know why, but I think Yang's trailer won't have an opening line like this. Or if there is one, it would be something funny.

- The setting is extra beautiful here. Red trees. Ugh. Really does something for my brain.

- Oh my Gods. Blake turned to the guy and said okay and now I must protect her at all costs. Am sure she can do it herself, but still.

- Holy hell. The hilt of her sword can turn into a lasso gun?! Brilliant.

- So this is Adam. His katana-like weapon is the only thing I want of his. And maybe his shoes. And pants. And mask. And jacket without the embellishments. And shirt. And hair... Fuck. I will just kill him to get them all. 😤😈😶‍🌫️

- Already proving he don't deserve the good swag. The way he says he will set the charges... Doesn't inspire a lot of confidence. The crew members didn't do anything wrong. Thank you Blake for thinking of them.

- She looks to the side sadly and it makes me wonder if this isn't the first time such a conversation happened.

- Also, two different songs play for Blake's trailer. Both are awesome. And the second one feels like it's supposed to be for the Faunus species.

- Adam may look good, but the heart within is ghastly. That is why he is the beast who got left behind. YAYYYYYY!

Yellow (Goldilocks):

- Holy shite. Yang's quote hits the hardest for me somehow. I was so wrong and yet so happy about it.

- So this is the famous motorcycle am assuming. Coolio. It's making me want to learn how to ride a bike just so I could work this beauty. 🤩🤌🏻🫂

- Little umbrellas are one of the best things in life. I approve.

- "You can call me sir." And she has him follow through... Oh my Gods. I want to be her but since that's not possible, I want her to teach me her ways.

- Yang uses gauntlets for hand to hand combat which double as bullet shooters. And the way she reloads them... can she get any better?!

- Also, Junior is the bear. And is it just me or do Miltia and Melanie look like Ruby and Weiss wannabes?

- Yang's trailer is the culmination of all the songs used in the ones before, and then we hear hers... It's making me feel things.

- Super Saiyyan. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And her eyes turned red. Huh.

- Aye, we meet again. Ruby and Yang truly are siblings... "It's a long story." LoLLL! She will probably tell her what went down later. Keep the might of her legend alive.

The fight scenes are well-executed. The music is immaculate. The moon appears to be breaking into pieces. I am ready.

(Follow in the footsteps of my parents and refrain from spoiling me!

Also, someone should gift yours truly all of the weapons from this show. Pwease. And thank you.)

[pushovermediacritic]

The Land Before Time Liveblog 3

The Land Before Time III: The Time of the Great Giving

Last Time: The Gang accidentally broke the border wall while crossing it and kidnapped a foreign child, then bombarded him with racist microaggressions. When the kid's parents crossed the border to rescue him, The Gang and their parents beat them up. In the end, they re-affirmed that a closed-border policy is for the best and repaired the wall.

Also, Pinky and the Brain were there.

The Universal Logo is still not Pangaea.

Narrator: "A long time ago, at least 35 hundred million years ago, the earliest form of life made its first appearance on Earth."

... I think that checks out? I think "35 hundred million" is 3.5 billion? That lines up with what Wikipedia says for the estimated origin of life (at least 3.5B, the oldest trace of life is from 3.7B). I'm a little surprised this animated kid's movie from 1995 got that right. Kudos.

The narrator then goes over evolution and eventually reaches the first creature to walk on land.

No, get back in the water! You don't know what you're doing! This decision will eventually lead to HUMANS!

But not yet, first dinosaurs.

Narrator: "For most of the Earth's dinosaurs, life was filled with danger! But for the fortunate leaf-eating dinosaurs of the Great Valley, life was peaceful, and food plentiful."

Kinda splitting the difference between movie 1 and movie 2 here. In 1, they went to the Great Valley because there was a famine, and in 2, they make a big deal out of how safe it is. Here the narrator lists both qualities.

As an aside, it's interesting that, 3 movies in, we're still getting long, dramatic intro sequences to introduce the very concept of dinosaurs. I wonder if/when that will stop.

Narrator: "The Great Valley was the perfect place for children like Littlefoot the Longneck, Cera the Threehorn, Ducky the Swimmer, Petrie the Flier, and Spike the Spiketail to grow and learn and play."

The Gang are playing by rolling and chasing a head-sized rock like it's a ball.

You know, I would say that's probably not a good idea, rocks are solid and much heavier and harder than balls, but we know these kids are ridiculously strong by now, they'll be fine.

As if to prove my point, Littlefoot headbutts the rock several feet into the air, then when it lands, Petrie kicks it and he just bounces off without the rock moving whatsoever. It's still a goddamn rock. Dinosaurs are just Built Different.

Spike then dives for the rock, lands on it, and Fucking Destroys It.

You know, if I did that with a rock the size of my head, I'd probably shatter my ribcage. But dinosaurs are Built Different.

Three movies in, and I can't believe that I'm still power-scaling in Land Before Time.

Cera finds another rock and starts knocking it around. She passes it to Littlefoot, who juggles it with headbutts until he drops it and...

Hmm.

While these characters are new to the audience, they aren't strangers to The Gang, Littlefoot asks Hyp if he can have their rock back, please.

Hyp: "Your rock? Who said it was your rock?!"

Goon 1: "Yeah, who said it was your rock, huh? Who said, who said?!"

(they both glance at Goon 2)

Goon 2: "-oh, uh, yeah!"

Hyp is a Hypsilophodon, Goon 1 is a Nodosaurus, and Goon 2 is a Muttaburasaurus.

Littlefoot admits that no-one said that, and then Cera demands they give it back. Hyp refuses on the grounds that she didn't say please, and Cera retorts that she knows she didn't (Littlefoot did say "please" earlier, so obviously he doesn't really care). Hyp and Cera glare off and growl at each other until Littlefoot steps in and suggests they all play together.

Hyp asks his goons if they want to play with some babies, and Petrie takes great offense to being called a baby. Hyp pokes Petrie and they all laugh at him, causing Cera to snap and charge Hyp, but he steps out of the way before egging her on.

And then the Earth starts shaking and meteors start falling.

Man, shit always be happening around here. Can't even confront some bullies without the apocalypse.

The bullies run away and then a meteor lands on the other side of the Great Wall, causing a rockslide that the kids barely escape, running to their guardians.

Littlefoot makes it back to his grandparents, then a tree falls and he escapes by hiding under some roots. Littlefoot wants to go find the falling rock that landed in the Mysterious Beyond, but his grandma tells him no. Littlefoot and his grandpa admire the beautiful aurora created by the meteors.

Grandpa notes how mysterious it is, and I agree. It is mysterious, because that's not how auroras work! Meteors can't cause auroras!

The next day, everyone is gathered in the pond at the base of the Thundering Falls, drinking and eating water plants.

When suddenly, the Thundering Falls stop flowing.

Littlefoot asks his grandparents what's up and grandpa says he doesn't know, before grandma shoos him off to play with the other kids so the grown-ups can discuss the waterfall problem. Littlefoot's grandparents are starting to get some distinct characterization. Grandpa is more fun while grandma is more serious.

Littlefoot finds the other kids playing a hiding game. Cera is hiding and the other kids are looking for her. Littlefoot tries to tell them about the Thundering Falls, but they keep cutting him off. Cera jumps out from under a pile of big leaves and scares them, then they pick Littlefoot to hide next, but he keeps waffling, so Spike goes to hide. He sticks his head in a bush, leaving the rest of him exposed. We've actually seen this behavior multiple times in both of the previous films, Spike hiding just by sticking his head in the dirt or a bush, leaving the rest of him wide open.

Littlefoot finally blurts it out that the Thundering Falls are dried up, and they should go see.

Hyp: "Why don't you hatchlings go run and see?"

Goon 1: "Yeah, run and see, run and see!"

(Hyp glares at Goon 2)

Goon 2: "Oh! ...duuh, yeah!"

Cera's ready to throw down, and blows a raspberry. The Goons blow raspberries in return, but Hyp tells them to knock it off. Littlefoot asks why Hyp is always trying to pick a fight, and Goon 2 also wonders why. Hyp responds by singing song 1 of this movie, When You're Big.

This song is... okay. It's not bad. It's got a decent flow and wordplay, kind of a Broadway-style song. As far as villain songs go, it's a lot better than "Eggs". Hyp sings about how when you're big (a teenager), you have a lot more freedom to do whatever you want, including be gross, loud, annoying, fight, and pick on little kids. Also in the song, he calls Ducky a "Duckfoot". So, add that to the list, alongside "Swimmer" and "Bigface".

After the song, Littlefoot immediately and brutally undermines it by pointing out that Hyp isn't going to be very big at all as a grown-up. Cera and Ducky agree, bringing up that when they grow up, they're gonna be much bigger than Hyp.

It's hard to get a sense of scale for these movies, but it's important to keep in mind that Littlefoot is like 2 feet tall, max. Ducky and Petrie are only a few inches. The average size for an adult Hypsilophodon is only 6 feet, and that's length, from head to tail.

Hyp: "Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna see to it that you never grow up!"

Goon 2: "Uh, yeah!"

Goon 1: "Never grow up, never!"

Goon 2: "Uh, how're you gonna do that, Hyp?"

Hyp: "Sheesh, you're dumb. Let me lay it out for ya, first we chase 'em, second we catch 'em, third we hurt 'em. See?"

Yeah, Hyp clearly doesn't know WHAT he's talking about. He's talking about killing these kids, but he doesn't really have a concept of what that even means. Like just beating them up is gonna prevent them from growing. He's all talk. Meanwhile, these kids worked together to kill a full-grown Sharptooth at the end of the first movie.

Anyway, while Hyp is blustering, The Gang just sneak away. The bullies storm off, and they're so stupid they didn't even notice Spike, still in his terrible hiding spot.

Later, the adults are meeting and the Valley is starting to dry up. Littlefoot's grandpa establishes they need to ration out what little water they have remaining, not using it unwisely. Cera's dad has some thoughts.

Cera's Dad: "Huh! Threehorns never use water unwisely, but your herds do!"

Clubtail: "Our herds? What makes you think our herds would do such a thing?!"

Cera's Dad: "You drink greedily with no concern for others!"

Spiketail: "Can you believe he's saying that?!"

Man, you can always count on Cera's dad to be racist as fuck. He single-handedly turns this civil meeting into a big racist argument, with accusations being thrown around left and right by everyone. Cera's dad is a load-bearing pillar for the racism theme of this franchise.

Smash cut to The Gang all playing and frolicking in a pond, splashing water everywhere. The kids are "playing bullies", pretending to be Hyp to make fun of him. Then the bullies actually show up, standing high up on a rock. Hyp claims this is their watering hole, then he pushes Goon 1 off the rock and he falls on top of Littlefoot, splashing water right into Cera's dad's face (apparently, the adults weren't very far away).

The bullies run away and Cera's dad accuses Littlefoot of wasting precious water.

Littlefoot's Grandpa: "Our children don't understand the water problem. The Great Valley has always given them everything they need!"

Okay, I kinda ignored this last movie, but that implication was there, too. The Gang didn't grow up in the Great Valley, they only recently came here. You know, in the first movie. Both of the sequels have acted like The Gang don't know what it's like outside of the Great Valley, and that's just simply wrong. You can't just retcon the first movie out of existence. Especially since later movies will make reference to it.

The Gang start talking about the water problem and Littlefoot does this hilarious shrug that doesn't work AT ALL.

He doesn't even do it quickly, it's a slow, deliberate, and impossible movement. You can't just have quadruped characters do hand gestures without thinking through the logistics first, otherwise you get dumb shit like this.

Littlefoot's Grandpa: "We need to teach our children how to use the remaining water wisely."

Cera's Dad: "Speak for yourself, Longneck! My Cera would never waste! Your Littlefoot is a bad influence!"

Littlefoot's Grandpa: "That's not true!"

The kids don't even know what the word "influence" means. Cera's dad tells Cera to come, and that she's not allowed to play with "the little Longneck anymore". Grandpa tries to diffuse the situation, and Cera tries to resist, but Cera's dad insists and yells at her that he knows what's best. Sniffling, Cera goes with her dad.

This is something that's been bubbling under the surface for a while. Cera's dad said she shouldn't play with Longnecks in the first movie and the second, too. He was just looking for an excuse to really put his foot down on this issue, and this was the perfect one. This is Cera's dad at his worst. The other kids go home with their parents, too, but just because it's getting late.

Littlefoot's grandpa says that Cera's dad is just confused and scared. At night, Cera and her dad argue.

Cera: "I don't understand, daddy!"

Dad: "You need friends who know how to behave, especially in times like this."

Cera: "Littlefoot is my friend! He'll always be my friend!"

Dad: "Cera, I'm your father. I want what's best for you!"

Cera: "No you don't! You just don't want me to have any fun!"

(Cera runs away into some reeds)

Dad: "Cera, please... I'm just trying to- oh, as a parent I... wouough!"

That's Dad letting out an exasperated groan. This conversation really doesn't touch on the deeper issues at play here, it's really surface-level. I like that he can't even find something to say at the end, but aside from that, this argument is disappointing.

Next morning, grandma and grandpa wake up Littlefoot early to drink morning dew from leaves, since they need to conserve water and get fluids from other sources. Littlefoot accidentally breaks the dew-covered Tree Star, since the leaf itself is dried out and fragile. Grandma mentions there will be an increased fire risk in the coming days, and Littlefoot should remember the escape paths.

We then see a montage of the Great Valley slowly drying up. Fish in a small pool having to flop over dry land to get to a creek.

A triceratops herd walking alongside a riverbank with several feet of wall before the waterline. A lizard knocks down a rock from a cave wall and it bounces on multiple other rocks before falling in the small pool at the bottom.

Littlefoot and his grandparents are looking for food, and they find some trees, but most of the leaves are brown and crusty. There's one tree with a few sparse green leaves, and Grandpa pulls down a branch of them for Littlefoot to eat. This is really giving me flashbacks to the first movie. There, the famine wasn't caused by a lack of water, but it was a famine nonetheless. Even though their turn for water isn't until later, Grandpa gives Littlefoot the go-ahead to go drink, since he's a kid. Cera's dad is at the watering hole, and he argues against it. Then Cera's dad sings song 2 of the movie, Standing Tough.

It's kind of a dad rock man anthem. It's also... okay. Not bad. It's all about how when times get tough, you gotta get tough. You have to step up and be better, stronger, smarter, tougher, etc. He does mention something interesting, which is that his own father told him "stand and fight, don't run away". Definitely a lesson in how parents are molded by their own parents.

He also cites his daughter as the reason he's being harsh about this, but like, he's got a lot of daughters. Or should. Cera's mentioned her sisters a few times in the last two movies. But sometime between then and now, she's become an only child. Whether due to retcon or something more tragic, it's an odd decision, since the last movie's end credits showed her and Ducky getting more baby siblings.

After the song, Cera whisper-calls Littlefoot over and they complain about the grown-ups acting like babies. Littlefoot hatches a plan.

Littlefoot: "Water! If we find some, the grown-ups will stop being mad!"

Cera: "Maybe! Except for my dad, he aaaalways mad."

Littlefoot: "Yeah, he is kinda grumpy. But I'm sure it's just because he's so worried about the water."

Oof.

The kids go off to gather the rest of The Gang, while the adults keep arguing. Cera's dad says "no" to the very idea of compromise. Meanwhile, the animators have compromised his very body by forgetting to draw in his fourth leg:

At night, the kids gather, but Spike is a heavy sleeper and snores. He doesn't wake up until Petrie mentions the plan is to find water, that gets him up. Then the kids run off, screaming into the night in frustration at their guardians being mad all the time nowadays. I'm surprised no-one woke up. The kids decide to try and sniff out the water.

Not sure that'll work, but hey, I don't have a dinosaur nose. Human noses are some of the worst among mammals, so I can't exactly say I'm an expert on sniffing.

The next day, Cera's dad has taken it upon himself to full-on police the river, charging at and chasing away anyone who tries to drink out-of-turn. I changed my mind, this is Cera's dad at his worst. The Gang are ready to give up their search when Petrie sniffs out a pond.

The kids enjoy playing and drinking, but then the bullies confront them and demand they let them have the water and not tell anyone else about it. They run to tell the grown-ups, but Cera wants to try fighting them, and they convince her to just run. Then the bullies get the negative attention of a purple wasp, which drives them off (did wasps exist at this time period?).

The Gang gets a little lost while running and they find a cave leading through the Great Wall into the Mysterious Beyond, where they find a GIGANTIC lake of water being blocked off by a landslide.

I dunno if opening that dam is the best idea, the Great Valley might go from a drought to a flood. The kids seem to think that's a good idea, though, and decide to head back to tell everyone.

However, you see that lightning at the end of the GIF? Remember what Grandma said about an increased fire risk?

Lightning strikes a tree and makes a huge wildfire, which rips through the Great Valley's dried up forest.

Meanwhile with the adults, Cera's dad is telling Ducky's mom to stop drinking, she's had enough (but she's a Swimmer, she might need more). Littlefoot's grandparents decide he's gotten too bossy, but then the kids run up and warn them about the fire. Apparently the area it started as is Two Boulder Pass. Cera's dad insists that he's the boss and he will lead everyone on his path to safety from the fire... which Littlefoot's grandpa points out is downwind of the fire, right where it will spread. Guess Cera got her bad direction-skills we saw in the first movie from her dad. He insists that he's right and that Cera go with him, and she complies.

Littlefoot's grandpa realizes Cera's dad is being stupid and endangering himself and his daughter, and he decides to follow him, while Littlefoot's grandma leads everyone else away from the fire upwind of it.

Cera's dad's route immediately proves to be a terrible decision, as the fire quickly catches up and both Threehorns are running for their lives from the blaze. They come to a ravine and Cera tries jumping it. She almost makes it, but the edge she lands on crumbles and she falls in. Her dad jumps in after her and now they're both running down the ravine away from the spreading fire.

Meanwhile with Littlefoot's grandma's group, she's having a hard time with the thick smoke because of how high up her head is. She decides Littlefoot has to lead the group because he's much smaller and closer to the ground, where the smoke is thinner. The adults are having a hard time seeing through the smoke, so Littlefoot yells for them to follow his voice.

Cera and her dad get completely surrounded on all sides by fire, but Littlefoot's grandpa uses the Longneck trick from movie 2 to topple a tree for them to cross.

The two groups reunite on a cliff on the side of the Great Wall, safe and sound. Good thing Littlefoot remembered the fire exits.

Littlefoot's grandma: "We are all very lucky."

Cera's dad: "Lucky?! How can you say we are lucky when our Valley burns?! We are without water and now we are without a home! All is lost..."

Littlefoot's grandma: "All is not lost, my friend. You still have Cera, and you are still here, able to care for her."

Cera's dad: *sigh* "Oh, you are right. Thank you, Longneck."

This is a BIG moment of growth from Cera's dad. Not only did his boneheaded stubbornness almost get himself and his daughter killed, but he was rescued by a Longneck and then consoled by one when he fell into despair afterward. And then he specifically thanked her using her species name in gratitude.

However, the other adults are inclined to agree with the Threehorn that all is lost, until Littlefoot remembers that they found the water, it's backed up from the Flying Rock that landed in the Mysterious Beyond.

The other adults are hesitant to go into the Mysterious Beyond because of the danger, but Cera's dad points out that the Valley is dangerous now, too, and they have to go. Littlefoot's grandpa mentions that that much water will attract Sharpteeth. Cera's dad has a plan, but no-one is confident in his plans anymore, and everyone starts arguing over it.

Meanwhile, the bullies are higher up, looking down on the adults. Hyp wants to get to the water first, but his goons are... less than enthusiastic about potential Sharptooth encounters. Hyp insists he's not afraid of anything, even Sharpteeth, and decides to prove it by going, then calls his goons babies to motivate them to join him (because he doesn't actually want to be alone).

Littlefoot sees them and decides The Gang needs to go and convince them not to do anything stupid and reckless. The rest of The Gang doesn't think they should care until he sings song number 3, Kids Like Us.

And, uh. The official Youtube version of this includes the earlier scene with the bullies. For context, I guess.

Anyway, Kids Like Us is nice. I think it's the best song so far in this film. Littlefoot is very empathetic, and he really gets to the heart of this movie's core theme regarding fear and pride motivating bullying. It's not great, but it's good.

Hyp and his goons walk through the Mysterious Beyond, and finally we get a name for one of them: Goon 2, the Muttaburasaurus, is named "Mutt". Going by that pattern, I'm guessing Goon 1's name is Nodo. They cross over a bubbling bog, clearly lost, and Mutt and Hyp both almost fall in multiple times (in the business, they call this technique "5-second foreshadowing"). They find a pond of water and Hyp eagerly jumps in to drink some water.

But whoops, it's actually a tar pit and Hyp is trapped and sinking.

By the way, real tar pits can look deceptively like ponds. That's why they were so dangerous to real-life dinosaurs.

Mutt and Goon 1 aren't sure what to do, and The Gang hears Hyp's cries of help and come running. Littlefoot name drops this as a "tar pit", which is interesting that the writers didn't come up with some other name for it. Littlefoot tells Hyp to stop moving and he completely freezes still, before a bee lands on his nose. Then Petrie lands on his nose and tries to pull him out by his nostril, attached to a chain of the other kids (they use this technique a lot, but it's kinda hit-or-miss in effectiveness).

Petrie loses his grip when Hyp complains and Hyp briefly sinks beneath the surface, but Petrie fuckin' heroes up and dives into the tar pit to save him. Ducky grabs Petrie under the tar and pulls him up while Petrie successfully pulls Hyp out by his tooth (I guess it's a better handle than his nostril).

After getting out, Hyp insists that he had it under control and never needed any help (despite literally yelling "Help, help"). Petrie and Ducky in particular are mad at him brushing off their efforts, but he doubles down. That is, until he sees the adult crowd walking by. Specifically his dad. Hyp's IMMEDIATE first reaction to seeing his father is to run away, hide behind The Gang, cover his face, and shiver uncontrollably.

Well, damn. That says it all, doesn't it? Littlefoot's grandpa scolds him for exploring in a dangerous place like this, and Littlefoot retorts that they were trying to keep Hyp and his friends from getting hurt. This makes Hyp's father notice Hyp hiding behind them, and he immediately starts yelling.

Before we get into this scene, I like how The Gang earlier were right, Hyp won't be very large as a grown-up. Hyp's father is less than twice his size.

Hyp's father: *grab's Hyp's tail* "Hyp! Here we are, chasing after you when we should be finding a way to free the water! I thought I told you to stay where it was safe! Don't look at me that way, I'm your father and I know what's best for you!"

Cera's father: "... yelling is no way to teach your child what is right, or to show that you care."

Hyp's father: "How would you know?!"

Cera's father: "I know because- because I have a daughter. And I yell at her. Too much. Especially when I'm worried for her safety."

Cera: "You don't have to worry about me, daddy."

Cera's father: "If you always react with anger, that's all your son will know. And... that's all he'll be able to express to others."

Hyp looks very sheepish, and all the kids take a sympathetic step toward him.

Hyp: "... what?"

Cera's father: "I know now that we can't live together that way. With such anger between us. Our kids found water because they worked together. Now we must work together, too."

This speech... okay. To preface this, I really like this speech. It perfectly boils down the core theme of the movie, and Cera's dad's character development. It's a good speech.

But it doesn't quite go far enough. Hyp's reaction to his father is REALLY extreme for what is shown, just yelling at him the same way Cera's dad yells at her. Cera is quick to anger, but we never see her cowering from her dad in fear like Hyp did here. And Cera's dad does acknowledge his flaws, but his admittance of wrongness barely touches on his racism. It does touch on it, right near the end, but barely. I feel like if this movie were braver to push its rating, it could have gone further with Hyp's father and the overall theme of generational trauma and bullying.

It is a really good speech, but it could have been great, especially since it's the emotional climax of the whole film.

Anyway, because this franchise still demands an action climax (and we need to pay off the Sharptooth foreshadowing), Mutt then notices a whole pack of 4 raptors, closing in.

Littlefoot's grandpa tells the kids to run, and one of the raptors jumps at him. Grandpa pulls his neck out of the way at the last second and tail-whips the raptor, launching it into a headbutt from Cera's dad, who flings it backward into a wall with such force that rocks start falling on top of it, knocking it out. 1 down, 3 to go. Hyp's father takes charge on leading the kids to safety.

Another raptor leaps at Grandpa, but he tail-whips it away. Littlefoot's worried for his grandpa (just like last movie, he's clearly got some lasting trauma from his mother dying), but Grandpa tail-whips another one away as Hyp's dad tells him to keep going. Grandpa emphasizes the importance of holding the line, but Mutt's parent (on the other side of Grandpa from Cera's dad) completely breaks down from fear, cowering and breaking formation, allowing all 3 raptors to jump over them to go after the kids.

Hyp's dad leads the kids down into the ravine right in front of the rockslide that blocks off all the water. They stop when they hear gnashing noises at the top of a cliff above them. The 3 raptors show up. But then the other adults arrive behind them and engage them in battle, unseen by the kids and audience. The noises of the fight are so vicious that the teens run the other way. The battle is so epic that the whole cliff collapses, everyone falling and getting knocked out.

The 3 raptors recover first, and decide the four unconscious adult dinosaurs are an easier target than the children. Hyp's father tells the kids to run to the dam and he dashes in to fight the raptors himself, even though he's the same size as one raptor and he's outnumbered 3-to-1. He does okay, though, getting in a double-punch, then using his agility to make the raptors all headbutt each other. Hyp decides to save his dad and teases the raptors to go after him instead. But before they reach him, Littlefoot's grandpa recovers and hits all three of the raptors with one mighty tail whip.

The grown-ups are back up and the raptors decide to pivot to attacking the kids, who are standing on the dam. Hyp kicks a rock down at one and Cera's dad follows up with a mighty headbutt that buries it in rocks. The Gang decides to go with the ol' standby of pushing a giant rock on them (another move we've seen in both of the previous movies), but this particular giant rock is too big for even them to push, so the teens help out and push it over.

That rock knocks down a ton more rocks, burying all three of the raptors. But even THAT'S not enough (holy shit, these raptors are TOUGH), and all three get back up.

But Littlefoot notices that rock they pushed unblocked a small stream of water, which slowly builds up bigger and bigger. The kids run off the dam and the adults run up a slope as the dam explodes with a massive flood, drowning the raptors, cascading down the Thundering Falls, and flowing into the Great Valley to put out the wildfire. Except never mind, the raptors are fine, they surface on the opposite side of the rushing river so they can't reach the others on the other side. Remember when I said earlier that Dinosaurs are Built Different? Apparently raptor dinosaurs, specifically, are Built SUPER Different.

Everyone returns to the Great Valley, but most of it is still dead from the fire.

They have to ration out what little food they have, as well as search the Valley thoroughly for any spots of green untouched by the flames. The kids and teens find one such place, and Hyp's father catches himself when he's about to yell at Hyp over it. Hyp says there's enough if they share, and Mutt and Goon 1 are surprised to hear him talking about sharing, but he insists that not sharing is for babies.

Narrator: "And so, as it turned out, the dinosaurs traveled from green spot to green spot, eating their fill. Each helping the others to find what they needed. Each learning the special kind of joy which comes from giving to others. And in the years to come, this story of sharing was told over and over again, until it became known as 'The Time of the Great Giving'."

SURPRISE! This movie was a Thanksgiving Day special, all along!

Looking it up, Goon 1's name is indeed a shortening of Nodosaurus, it's just "Nod". Well, I was close. It is odd that he's never named, and Mutt is only named once, so it's easy to miss. By the way, I don't think that Clubtail we see throughout the film is meant to be Nod's father. Nodosaurus didn't have a club tail, but this is also a dinosaur movie from 1995, so who knows?

This movie's core theme is about bullying, and it kinda folds the racism theme of the previous two movies into that bullying theme via Cera's dad and his character development. Hyp and his goons are the bullies to the kids, Cera's dad is the bully to the adults, and Cera's dad and Hyp's dad are bullies to their own kids, representing how generational trauma makes parents create bullies out of their kids. Cera's dad even mentions his own father in his song.

Cera's dad really is a MAJOR focus of this movie. I was worried his character development would feel forced and rushed, but that fire scene and then the speech later did a lot to make his turn feel realistic. His racist attitude has been a major background element of both of the previous movies, and this one dealt with it. Not quite bringing it all the way to the forefront, but close enough to deal with it by proxy of his other issues.

This movie has kind of a slow first half but it hit its stride in the second half when the kids find the water. Which, to be fair, was the case with the last movie, too. Chomper didn't even hatch until the halfway point.

The raptors' insane durability really stretched the limits of my suspension of disbelief. There were 5 herbivore adults fighting them, all but one being bigger, plus 8 juveniles, but the raptors seemed like unstoppable Terminators. Except the one who was apparently taken out like a punk at the very beginning of the fight. If the writers really wanted the raptors to be that big of a threat, they should have made there be more than just 4. Like, 10 would make more sense.

Pros: All 3 songs are better than Eggs. Cera's dad's character arc was surprisingly great. The tension of the drought was pretty good. The whole fire scene is really good. The bullies are WAY better than Ozzy and Strut. Petrie gets a neat arc in standing up to the bullies and earning their respect. The raptor fight at the end is kinda fun, it goes in a lot of interesting directions.

Cons: None of the songs are as good as You're One Of Us Now. The dialogue is more stilted and clunky than in the last movie. The final battle at the end felt tacked-on and it dragged a bit too long. The raptors, aside from their absurd durability, aren't interesting characters at all. Mutt and Nod do get a tiny bit of depth, but not enough.

Score: Overall, this movie didn't have any glaring flaws like the editing in the first movie or the Struthiomimus brothers in the second, but it's also generally not quite as good across the board. I think I'll give it a 7/10.

The Land Before Time: 8/10 (hypothetical uncut version: 9/10)

The Great Valley Adventure: 8/10

The Time of the Great Giving: 7/10

[bunabi]

Gotta throw my 2 cents in here, having just finished VG three days ago. I didn’t romance Solas in Inquisition but I started VG with an inquisitor who did, because I was curious about how it would play out.

The cutscene where the Inq talks to Rook about her love for Solas and basically says “yeah he’s really toxic in every way but I love him—“

I had been FULLY INTENDING to have Inq reunite with Solas. But that conversation hit way too hard thanks to a past relationship of mine, the things she said were almost verbatim things I said and felt during the aftermath of that relationship, so kudos to the writers for realism I guess… But the only two ways to tell her she should reunite with him are “you deserve to be happy” (aka you deserve to live out your delusions) and “you were good for him” (BARF). They both felt so naive!

I stared at that screen for a good five minutes, but eventually I could not consign her to an eternity of being his moral compass. So I went with the option that had Rook telling her he’s not good for her and just. I was very disappointed that two of the three major Inq appearances in the game are centered heavily around her feelings for him without feeling like there’s much of her own agency, and she’s willing to just give up everything for him despite his history, or else stick around in Thedas depending on whatever Rook says (which also a complaint I have with the game in general, where everyone leaves their major life choices up to Rook).

Overall just very strong “GIRL WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM” vibes from me. Feels bad!

I went back to rewatch the Cobbled Swan scene and huh yeah the entire conversation is about Solas. It makes sense that we can't ask about their organization, their life as a Dalish Rogue/Warrior/Mage, or what they've been up to: that would require world state choices. But if Harding is able to have little anecdotes on the Inner Circle, I'd expect the Inquisitor would have something to talk about other than her not-quite-ex-lover. :'(

But I do admit: I don't know what they could've done instead. The Trespasser scene alone apparently took a month to complete. I don't think nuance of that level was gonna be possible for DAV. But this take on Lavellan feels too much like a charicature of how she exists in fanon.

I couldnt disagree more with the 'lets blame John Epler for everything' energy but the wires got crossed somewhere. I was hoping Weekes would participate in the Dec. 4th AMA and answer a few questions, explain the vision a bit, but they've been relatively quiet.

[pika-ace]

Disney Knowledge Yuu: Playful Land Edition aka Yuu gets Fucking Mad Part 2

And we haven't even gotten to the meat of the sinister plot yet! Joy of joys! 83

Minor spoilers under the cut and large reactions, because one does not watch Disney's Pinocchio and come out unscathed...

Fellow and Giddel: (appear)

Yuu: (grabs literally everyone by the sleeve and starts dragging them away) NOOOOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE-

Kalim: But why?? He seems nice!

Yuu: Even if i didn't know what I knew, STRANGER DANGER, YOU ABSOLUTELY DUMBASSES!!

---------------------

Fellow: (convincing the students to skip class)

Yuu: Okay, fine, Stromboli isn't a big deal-

Fellow: (takes out an ace of spades card) Come to Playful Land! A fabled amusement park!

Yuu: NEVER MIND, BAIL, ABORT, RETREAT, NO DONKEYS IN THIS HOUSE

Jack: Huh?!

-------------------------

Jade: Oh, what charming outfits! These strings and tassels are quite unique

Yuu: (trying not to laugh hysterically as No Strings on Me starts playing in their head) Can we go home now???????

-------------------------

(Sees statue of Honest John and Giddel in Playful Land)

Yuu: ......ew

Lilia: Ooh, that's the Kind Fox and the Gentle Cat!

Yuu: ...........I'm sorry, the WHAT?

Fellow: That's right! These two helped the puppet from the Wishing Star story learn the difference between right and wrong, and they even brought him to a park just like this when he was feeling ill!

Yuu: (lunges to grab Giddel's hammer) OH YOU CAN JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THAT SHIT

Ace: Holy hell, Yuu!

Yuu: WHAT'S NEXT?! MONSTRO THE KILLER WHALE WAS A BIG FRIENDLY FISHY THAT HELPED THE PUPPET FIND HIS FATHER OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF HIS HEART????!!

Grim: They've lost their mind!!

Leona: Kudos for lasting this long...

---------------------------------

TWST: The whole point of the puppet story is to be good

Grim: I don't get it

Yuu: ......You know what? If you gotta turn into donkeys or puppets to learn this the really fucking hard way, fine. You know where to find me. I'll be back at school avoiding my childhood trauma. I'm out.

[byslantedlight]

Hello OFMD Tumblr thingie, and all the amazing people who are out there, and especially the ones who've been making all the posts that have made me so happy over the last few months. 💖💖💖 First and most importantly, thank you, thank you, thank you, to anyone who sees this!

This is my first post to Tumblr (probably pretty obvious from my huge lack of Tumblr sophistication! And the length of this post...) If you don't count reblogging things that I wanted to be able to find again. I've braved up to comment thank you to people a couple of times, but that's been it so far. I must admit it all looks a bit scary from this side of the glass, even though I can also see how friendly people mostly are.

But OFMD fandom is big! And you've been here a long time! I loved Series 1 when I watched it, and knew I wanted to watch out for Series 2, but it wasn't until I re-watched it when the Series 2 trailer came out on BBC iPlayer that I fell veeeery in love with it! And by then you were already here, and there was a language and debates about things I'd barely even noticed, and it's mostly me staring with big eyes thinking wow, and sometimes huh? and... well, you know. Plus there's trying to work out Tumblr, which I definitely haven't actually managed to do yet, and possibly never will, so... I decided to just jump in and post summat. Even just rambling, which is a bit of a specialty of mine... I mean - what's the worst that can happen, right? 😬

So... how come now? Well, I can't make art or gorgeous screenshots or gifs. I do write, but I'm still hanging out to get the right voices in my keyboard... I know them when I hear them, but you've gotta get the right rhythm going, and I'm not quite there yet, I don't think. Although really, I should probably just sit down and try (and stop waiting for work to shut up and give me time - I should be a pirate and take it!)

Anyway (told you about the rambling...) what I'm mostly doing apart from rewatching the eps on a constant loop is reading the fic. I'm picking it according to kudos on AO3, and according to recs that I see on Tumblr, and it's occured to me that alot of the stories I'm loving must have been recced looong ago, and that newbies like me totally missed them, and so maybe I could do my own recs, even if they are of older stories, and someone might find them useful. You know, if I work out how anyone else might ever see my posts. 😁 And if people aren't put off by my probably age-revealing use of emojis. (But I am entirely age-appropriate for Ed and Stede, and if I had to look up what zaddy meant too, well, that just means I matched Rhys Darby's expression in the bts, right? 🤨)

So it's not much, but I'd like to contribute even just a tiny bit to OFMD fandom in return for everything it gives me, so... yeah. That's my plan. I'll start in a bit, but this post is probably already too long since it's just rambling. And kind of dull. I should probably have said tl:dr at the top, shouldn't I, but then maybe anyone who actually saw this wouldn't, so... See, I kind of live in hope. 😊

Okay. Tags next, right? ... ack ... why won't it let me create new tags instead of just using ones from the drop down...? Well, those will have to do for now... maybe someone who sees this will have mercy and tell me how? I'll just be over here being a slight failure at Tumblr... And if you've made it this far (how long is an acceptable post over here?! Not this long, I don't think...) - thank you hugely for just that, and may your dreams be OFMD and joyous!

[vampirecatsw]

Transmigrator Kaito AU

part 2:

(lol i haven't written any resembling a fic for this au yet but feel free to ask questions)

Kaito's favourite manga is Detective Conan. Instead of crossing over with Magic Kaito, it crosses over with Yaiba.

The Yaiba content annoys Kaito to no end because he's jealous~ He's like "Ugh, crossing Conan over with say like, a Phantom Thief would be perfect! Not Yaiba! >:("

He's definitely read and written Kaitou KID / Detective Conan crossovers HAHAHA

(I still need to do more research about Yaiba but I know there's Yaiba characters in dc so that's why I chose this. Sorry I don't know much about Yaiba but I thought it would be a fun idea)

Kaito picked it up when his dad died and still reads it to this day. Yes, it's long running series too :)) He reads it in his downtime, including before and after heists. He's basically memorised every detail.

Out of all the characters, Conan/Shinichi is Kaito's favourite character. When Kaito got frustrated, he always came back for him. And he's a huuuuge fanboy as well! He knows all the little details >v0 and admires Shin-chan a lot.

I'm still deciding on making this romantic ShinKai or queerplatonic (like some third thing other than platonic and romantic) but eh it's still in the air ig. Kaito adores Shin a lot either way.

Kaito doesn't know that in the final chapter of Conan, it was revealed Shin and Ran decided they had a sibling relationship. Kaito keeps trying to wingman them in increasingly absurd ways that makes Shin think he's actually trying to serenade Ran.

When the final chapter is going to come out, Kaito goes on a heist but everything goes wrong. He ends up finding Pandora, but Snake finds him first and manages to mortally wound him. As he bleeds out on the rooftop, Pandora drenched in blood and lying in his limp hands, Kaito's last regret is how he never got to read the final chapter of Conan.

More details below cut:

~

Suddenly, Kaito wakes up to a vicious pinch in his cheek.

"Ba-kai-to! Wake up! I've been calling you for the last 5 minutes!"

"Ow! A-Aoko?? Wha-"

Kaito raises his head and sees... his normal classroom? Huh? Was everything just a dream? That final heist?

Kaito quickly pats down his chest. Nothing hurts... except for his sore throbbing cheek, and he's clothed in his normal school uniform, not the KID suit.

He keeps glancing around, trying to find any differences. Aoko's still standing in front of his desk, hands on her hips and a concerned look on her face. The classroom hasn't been filled up yet and the board is still freshly cleaned from yesterday, meaning it's the morning and class hasn't started yet. Akako hasn't arrived either. And Hakuba's reading a newspaper about Kudo Shinichi...

Huh?

Kudo Shinichi???

Kaito lunges over his desk. "Hey! Give me that!"

Hakuba is too stunned at the sudden attack.

Kaito rapidly skims through the article .The paper crinkles in his trembling grip.

"Kudo Shinichi, the Heisei Holmes has done it again! He solved another case flawlessly last Monday..."

Hakuba adds hesitantly, "Yes? Kudo Shinichi. He's been making a name for himself recently. It would be a pleasure as a fellow detective to work alongside him one day."

Hakuba says this all naturally, like Shinchi's been real this entire time. Like he wasn't just a manga character yesterday.

Kaito gulps ...There's no mistake. The impossible has happened, and Detective Conan is somehow real.

~ Kaito in this AU is just... a Kudo Shinichi fanboy. He's absolutely ecstatic to challenge Kudo Shinichi. He's even more excited to amaze his critic, and every time they meet, Kaito's pokerface works overtime to hide his delighted blush and adoring grin on his face. Jii is so confused but also very supportive.

... Kaito really wants to squish Shin-chan's cheeks and tease him until his entire face turns a pretty pink, dangers be damned.

Meanwhile Shinichi keeps getting annoyed by this clingy thief who keeps coming back for more. What's so interesting about him anyways??? Why does he keep teasing him???

(This au also includes pre-conan and during conan. Kaito is extremely charmed by Conan and his pokerface works extra-overtime than when he met Shinichi. If that is even possible. After every heist he screams in his pillow and recalls every moment)

Extras:

Kaito takes a solid week to slide himself into the Kudo Shinichi fan-server and cement himself as the Shinichi Expert. After a month he actually gets elected as co-president. Yes he's absolutely insane.

Kaito regularly sends fan letters to Shinichi, even after his 'disappearance'. They always wish Shinichi the best and includes random funny snippets of Kaito's day. They're addressed as "Kai-san" and are pretty polite. They always come with Kaito's genetically engineered blue and red roses that he grows in his garden. He doesn't gift the blue roses to anyone but Shinichi haha

Akako does exist in this universe. It's just that she sensed such a major disturbance that she stayed at home and researched it vigorously to make sure the fabric of space-time wasn't unravelling.

Kaito is like a proud peacock whenever Shin/Cone shows up. He literally pulls out all the stops and Jii is confused, yet very supportive. Agasa who provides the gadget just sighs at the huge and absurd list. It doesn't escape his mind that it happens whenever Conan/Shin attends a KID heist.

OVA 1 is really fun so I thought it would be extra funny for it to be somewhat plausible in this au. Not sure if Yaiba would be turned into a manga series when Magic Kaito becomes the main crossover (if that makes sense). When Kaito robs the sword, he would use his knowledge to cause the most chaos. Yes Kaito read Yaiba out of spite, and also 'know thy enemy, know thyself'

[tozettastone]

2024 Fic Review

Tagged by @voxofthevoid.

I didn't think I was gonna do this one because of how long it seemed, but day to day, I mostly just use my stats page to compare public bookmarks to total bookmarks, so this was an interesting exercise in making me actually look at any of these stats.

Stats stuff

1. How Many Words I Wrote in 2024:

134,246

2. My Top 5 Fics by Hits:

This was interesting — I don't think I've ever looked at my hit counters before.

Deadbeat. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/56638825)

Say Uncle (https://archiveofourown.org/works/57702268)

Thicker Than Water (https://archiveofourown.org/works/58122280)

Other Reasons To Hate Uchiha Itachi (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53127385)

In Progress (https://archiveofourown.org/works/60802894)q

With the exception of In Progress, these are ALL Naruto OC & Akatsuki fics, haha. That's my brand right now, I guess.

3. My Most Bookmarked Fic:

It was Deadbeat. It has 423 public bookmarks but 619 in total, which is almost triple the next most bookmarked fic of the year. Huh.

---

Question Stuff

1. What was the most surprising thing about writing in 2024?

Well, now that I'm looking at the statistics page, it's gotta be how well-liked In Progress is? I don't know, I don't usually look at kudos or anything (except to admire it if it's a palindrome!) so I didn't really realise... It's a 5K word one-shot Bleach fic that's basically time travel trope puree, because I skimmed most of the time travel tag and wanted to write something short and fun. I'm glad people seem to have liked it but I'm a little surprised.

2. What was the most enjoyable to write?

Probably Sweat Equity. Sweat Equity happened because an anon sent me a prompt and it was a banger. I wrote it in one sitting while I was in Bologna, sitting in a park beneath a tree that was almost certainly older than my whole city. It was nice.

3. Which fic is the most underrated?

Nailed It. Listen, I am not complaining. I understand why other people didn't love it like I did: it's high context and a stupid pairing, and I reckon MANY of the people who got a notification —for a Deidara/Madara fic that was already a spin off of some other unfinished soulmate AU fic! — were like "Ummm, what the fuck, Tozette, I'll pass."

I see you, you are so right, and that is a valid choice.

But also, I raise you: every character in that fic is terrible and it made me laugh.

4. Which fic(s) had something "cut" or an idea that never happened?

This bleach fic, which I may yet manage to clean up and archive for a little one shot eventually.

It never got off the ground because of fundamental incompatibility issues. Irreconcilable differences are grounds for divorce, etc etc. Can't be helped.

5. Which fic(s) did you want to write but didn't get around to?

I would have liked to have finished Where The Heart Is before I started writing like 5 different Bleach fics all at once, actually.

6. Any WIPs that never got published?

Goodness me, yes. Three Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto) fics, a long form Ishida/Szayel (Bleach) fic, a new fic in my Murakami Madeline series (Naruto — that's Where The Heart Is), an Urahara/Ichigo/Urahara (Bleach) fic, an Akatsuki Time Travel Ensemble (Naruto) fic...

There are probably more.

7. Share a snippet from a WIP fic?

Here's something from my draft of Where The Heart Is:

"Your friend won't look me in the face, senpai," complained Tobi. "Isn't that too suspicious?" Maddie managed not to twitch but it was a near thing. She had absolutely no desire to look Uchiha Obito right in his sharingan eye. "It would be suspicious if she wanted to look at you!" Deidara snapped. Dramatically, he turned away from Tobi. "Stop following me everywhere! Hm!" "We're partners, though," Tobi responded, totally unconcerned by the honestly staggering amount of disdain Deidara could cram into one sentence. "Senpai, don't you want to spend time with me?" Tobi teetered forward and around so he could angle his bright orange mask up at Deidara's face. A shard of ceramic scraped on the stone floor underfoot. "Eh?" He looked down and spotted the broken pieces of Maddie's ugly ex-teapot. "Ah! Senpai, is it yours?" "Is it—?" Deidara's face contorted. "What are you trying to say?" Worse, his volatile chakra also contorted into a flicker of intense killing intent. Maddie's hearts kicked into their highest gear.

8. Which fic was the one you were most excited to write?

Hmm. Interesting to have this as a question distinct from which was most enjoyable to write. Excitement...

Maybe Deadbeat?

Deadbeat was one of those fics that kind of happened to me while I was reading a lot of OC romance fics I didn't like very much and thinking about how I could write a Kakuzu one that I liked instead. Since it's not a romance you can only imagine how well that went! But I ended up liking it a lot better and writing all of it over a weekend in a scrambling little frenzy.

9. Fic hopes for the New Year?

I've got some WIPs to work on. I'd like to get Where The Heart Is (Naruto, Murakami Madeline (OC) fic), Plan C (Bleach, time travel, IchiIshi) and Open Season (Bleach, Grimmichi) posted.

Ideally, I would also like to hopefully get the other two Bleach fics drafted at least — the Urahara/Ichigo/Urahara one with the time travel and the romantic parasitism and the Ishida/Szayel one.

I hope my tolerance for the fandom lasts long enough to see me through, lol. We'll see!

--

I'm cursing @mixelation and @redflagshipwriter with this tag meme because they might enjoy it. But if anyone wants to do this one and hasn't been tagged, tell everyone I tagged you. :P

[dearbhaalist]

2024 Fic Writing Round-Up

Sliding one of these in before the end of the year! Thank you so much to everyone who’s read or shared or supported anything I've been up to!

words posted: 27,330

additional words written: at least another 20,000! My first thought was that the posted number was low, compared to my 40-50ish in each of the two years before—but that’s just a consequence of waiting to finish a project before starting to post it, huh.

fandoms: Entirely Baldur’s Gate this year

highest kudos: Haunted One and Pallor Mortis coming in at an exact tie.

highest hit oneshot: Another win for Pallor Mortis!

new things I tried:

The above-mentioned was the first purely smut, rated-E oneshot I’ve ever posted (I’ve written pieces of plenty that will never see the light of day while getting my footing, but that feels new!)

I tried fully finishing a multi-chapter project before beginning to post it for the first time, and holy hell I’m a convert

I also contributed to a zine for the first time, which I’m really excited about (having now dipped my toe into exchanges, prompt weeks, and a zine I’ve learned I love doing events but my capacity for them is pretty low—I’m too slow and steady a writer, really. One or two a year seems to work for me)

fic I spent the most time on: I wonder if the answer is really the things you haven’t read yet (hello, my entire fall of agonizing), but otherwise it’s Haunted One, which makes sense as the most ambitious thing I did. I just did most of that work in the fall of last year. :)

fic I spent the least time on: From conception to finished it was Cipher, a little piece I did for Gortash Week (in one night)

favorite thing I wrote: The final chapter of Haunted One remains possibly my favourite bit of fic I’ve written, my most re-read bit of my own work, and the gold standard for how much I want newer things to gel for me. So, uh, that.

favorite thing(s) I read: NeverwinterThistle’s Storm Warning absolutely blew me away (and I’ve been craving re-reading it). I also really loved @bharv’s work (don’t make me pick a favourite!) (okay, maybe The Diamond)

writing goals for 2025: I’ve been trying to ease myself back into writing a bit each day (200 on a bad day, 400 or more on a better one), so I’d love to keep that going.

Posting-wise, I’m hoping to get my second Valas novella (what I’ve been calling "untitled multi-chapter project") out in the first month or two. We’ll see what happens from there. (My Ettvard Needle and Shadowheart/Valas projects: I'm eyeing you.)

new works in 2024:

Haunted One, a four-part Dark Urge origin story (for the son of Gorion’s Ward)

Some more durgetash: Pallor Mortis, Something Monstrous: An Empirical Study of the Bhaalspawn Mind, and Cipher

Her Undoing, a Viconia DeVir backstory

and A Certain Cunning, a bit of young Gortash in the hells

[silenzahra]

Muahahaha, you know I'd LOVE to ask you some questions about your writing! Even though I already know the answer to some of the questions in the ask game, there are also quite a few I don't, and really want to change that😉 For now let me ask you these: 4, 11, 17, 18 and 23.

I hope you know that it's okay if you take some time to answer!😊

Based on this fanfic ask game ✨

My dear Mugi! Hehe, I'm so glad that you're so curious about my writing 🤭 You certainly know a lot about it already, but I'm so happy you wanna know more 🥰

Thank you so much for sending these questions! Let's-a go! 😄

4. What are some words or phrases you feel like you overuse?

... Oh wow, we start with the hard ones, huh? 😬 Mugi, I swear, just with this answer I'd have enough mateial for a whole post, and a VERY long one 😂 But I'm gonna try not to do that and say... Well, for the words, precisely the word "say" and its many synonyms (such as "ask," "respond," "exclaim"...), as well as the word "look" and its many synonyms ("gaze," "glance," "stare"...), definitely win the prize. I struggle SO MUCH when editing my translations so they won't sound too repetitive because of these words. As for phrases... I feel that I always describe the characters' emotions and reactions the same way. For instance, they're always "short on breath," or their heart "skips a beat," or they're always putting "a hand to their chest," or things like that... And they're ALWAYS smiling, and the way I describe their smiles, again, feels the same every single time 🙃 I'm well aware I'm probably the only one who notices, but being a perfectionist writer as I am, it's one of the things I definitely need to improve.

11. What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?

Hmm this one is quite interesting 🤔 You know, the first thought usually has to do with the numbers, like, it'd be the most obvious thing to think that a story that has success is the one with the highest number of notes/kudos/comments/whatever. And maybe in the past I would've agreed, but not anymore.

To me, a fic that is successful is a fic that can make people happy no matter when it's been posted. It's a fic that can make whoever reads it feel things, so much so that some people even feel like rereading it at times. It means that the story stuck with them when they first read it, and I've learned that this can happen even a year after said fic was published. All in all, that's what matters to me the most: that what I write can make people happy. Even if it's just one person that enjoys the fic, then I'll consider it to be successful. It fulfilled its mission.

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

👀👀 I can clearly *see* what you're doing with this question, my friend... I'm afraid you're not as sneaky as you may think 🤭😌

Still, here's my answer: I'm proud that, even if I'm mostly a VERY slow writer and usually spend months working on a story before I feel ready to finally post it, at times I can actually do the opposite and write a short story in just a few hours, AND feel happy and proud with the outcome. Oddly enough, this has happened to me with the two most recent Mareach fics I've posted, Bubbles of love and Clear morning, as well as with Bliss, the short story I wrote inspired by @bberetd's most recent comic.

And now that I think about it, I also didn't take too long writing Where is my brother? 🤔 I guess that, when the words start coming, I simply obey, sit down, and don't get up until I've written them all 😌📝

18. How many WIPs do you have and how many do you expect to finish?

Oof, this one's a bit tricky 😅 There are a few WIPs that I haven't talked about publicly yet, and as for now I'd rather keep it that way (I prefer to wait till I've worked a bit more on them or even till they're finished). And adding them to the ones that I have mentioned at times... lemme do the math... 23. Okay, that's honestly more than I expected 😅 I need TIME to bring them all to life oh my God.

As for the ones that I expect to finish... I mean, hopefully all of them 😅 But speaking in terms of a near future, let's say three. If everything goes according to plan, the first one will be ready next month! 🤞🤞🤞

23. What's a story you'd love to write but haven't even started yet?

Oh I have this one VERY clear: it's the story that narrates my girl Violet's birth and everything that happened before that. A GREAT part of it is inspired by Luigi's Mansion, which is among my most favorite series in the Mario franchise, and so many things happen that I get excited just by thinking about it 🤭 And I swear I do it on a daily basis at this point 😂 So I know when the time finally comes to start writing this fic, I will have a BLAST 😁

So this is it, dear Mugi! I deeply appreciate you sending this ask as I've really enjoyed answering these questions 😄 (And also that you said that it was okay if I took some time 🫂). I hope they satiated your curiosity and you could get to know me a bit better as a writer 🥰

Still, I do see that "for now" right there, so if there's still something else you'd like to know, feel free to ask!

Thank you sooo much 💖