#IT MAKES THE COLOURS POP OUT EVEN MORE I LOVE THIS TECHNIQUE SO SO MUCH | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pjisskullourful · 3 years

Text

💤Slumber Party (Victoria X reader)

NSFW! 🚨 smutty smut smut 🚨

Summary: It’s the week before Eurovision & you are in The Netherlands with Måneskin, as an assistant to the band. One night you stay a little too late in Victoria’s suite & she invites you to stay even later.

Characters: Victoria de Angelis & female-reader insert

Word count: 3,568

You couldn't stand to hear that Tik Tok sound again- not tonight, not after all of the times it had already popped up during yours and Victoria's seemingly endless scrolling. You hadn't planned to lose track of time like this- you had just sat down on the bed to show her a funny video or two from your listed likes. You hadn't planned to be in her hotel room so late-

But here you were, lying beside her in the otherwise empty room. Thomas had been the last to slip away, but you hadn't taken notice of the time then- you had been too wrapped up in this activity with Victoria.

She easily had that effect on you. An unnamed quality that always had your eyes drawn to her. In a room full of people- she was the one who could hold your attention, even without trying.

You locked your phone and sat up, before more hours could disappear from the night. "I should head back to my room, it's late and we've got a lot of press tomorrow- or is it today, 'cause it's after midnight?"

She sat up as well, blue eyes focused on you. "No. Do you think that you could not go?" Her hand rested on your upper arm. "I'm kinda getting tired of all this social distancing, it feels like I'm alone most of the time and I just- if it's not too much to ask, I'd really appreciate the company."

"I- yeah, we can have a slumber party."

"I loved slumber parties during high school- sharing secrets, making up excuses to kiss my friends like spin the bottle or practising our techniques for our future boyfriends." She had begun to prepare the bed as she spoke, dividing the provided pillows into two separate piles.

"Wow, clearly I was hanging out with the wrong people 'cause I never got invited to anything cool like that. All of the slumber parties that I went to were the exact opposite, pretty much."

"Get outta here, the exact opposite?"

"Definitely not as fun."

There wasn't any question of whether you would sleep in the bed with her or not- that's just what girls did at sleepovers. Besides, you had already been lying on the bed with her- if that hadn't been inappropriately intimate, then sharing a blanket with her should be fine as well.

You placed your head on the pillow next to hers, trying to not get too preoccupied thinking about subtext. You rolled over to face her, holding the covers protectively close.

"So you never played games at slumber parties?" She asked.

"Less friendly games. It was stuff to prove that you're not a chicken. Like, we'd get out the ouija board and the first one to get scared would be the loser of the group, the scaredy cat. And if we played truth or dare, the dares would always be humiliating- picking up dog shit, blacking out one of your front teeth, letting someone crack an egg on your head, wearing underwear on your head, sniffing everyone's shoes. And, of course, the inevitable gossiping and making up rumours."

Her cherubic face had taken on an expression of exaggerated terror as you spoke. She didn't respond straight away, instead just staring at you with her mouth hanging open. "Porca puttana, who were you friends with? They sound truly awful."

"Let's see- there was Satan's daughters and, uhm, you might not know her, Regina George? Yeah, she was there too."

"Yikes."

You pivoted off of this topic (even though you had plenty of other stories you could share), it was for your own benefit to seek a distraction. You couldn’t let your professionalism slip entirely. You had been assigned by the record company to assist the band during the colourful chaos of Eurovision - managing the group’s online platforms, running to get them things and ensuring they were on time.

Cuddling with the gorgeous bassist was not part of that job description. But maybe if you talked about the song contest enough, you could pretend that you were here purely for business purposes - you would have an explanation if any of your superior’s started asking questions.

“Do you think you’ll be nervous tomorrow? It’s kind of like you’re at the front of the line for a rollercoaster.” You said, watching as she started to run her fingers through her long hair. “It’s right before something huge is gonna happen, so I’m totally not judging you if you are a bit scared-...”

She cleared her throat and you noticed a different expression had come over her features. “Could we, I don’t mean to be rude, but I just… Would it be alright if we don’t talk about the contest?”

“Of course.”

She rolled onto her back and gazed up at the ceiling. “Thanks. It’s not that I’m not excited and looking forward to it, but I need a mental break from it.”

“That’s totally fine Vic.”

“One of my New Year’s resolutions was to practice more mindfulness ‘cause it feels like all I’ve been doing is looking forward, always concentrating on what is gonna come next.” By how much she had begun to gesture with her hands, you could tell this tangent had been building in her mind for a while.

“Like, with fucking covid - everyday I wake up and try to figure out when quarantine is gonna end or when is there gonna be enough vaccines. With Sanremo - it was always about being better in the next rehearsal and then the next rehearsal and the next one and then it happened and it was over really fast. I’m always staring at the finish line. I don’t know if that makes any sense…”

You nodded encouragingly. “Don’t worry, it does.”

“I don’t want to do the same thing with the contest, I wanna enjoy more of the moments in between and be present.”

“That’s a great resolution.”

She rolled on to her side, facing you and you could see the slight smile she was now wearing. “Thanks.”

“What, what are you smiling about?” You couldn’t figure out what was amusing her.

She bit her bottom lip, a brief attempt that failed to contain the smile. “No, nothing really. Sometimes I think about all of the opportunities that I’m too distracted to notice…”

You wished she would turn the light out, it felt like the only way you could stop noticing her lips would be to have her removed from your sight. You had taken in too many details - things you wouldn’t be able to see if there was an appropriate distance between the two of you. If there were anyone else in the room, you wouldn’t care so much about her tank top falling off of one of her bare shoulders. You cared about the lack of bra strap and it wasn’t just your professionalism that was out the window - you were definitely going to Hell.

“Right.” You said, feeling her pinky finger brush against the side of your hand. “Everybody’s got regrets at the end of the day.”

She was watching you so intently with eyes much darker than before, even though the lighting in the room hadn’t changed. You wanted to say something smart, something to add insight to the conversation - but you couldn’t come up with a coherent thought. Instead you were plagued by flashes of images and memories of intense sensations.

Was her mind whirring with similarly explicit thoughts? Or were you simply too eager to project your own desires on the first woman to show you any kind of attention?

Despite working together for more than a year, there had been no clear coming out to one another. You had guessed she was trying to subtly identify your label when she’d asked if you had gone to the cinema to see Happiest Season.

When you confirmed that you had, her face lit up. “Wasn’t Kristen Stewart so hot in it, like her style and everything? The whole time I was just like goals, goals, goals, don’t you think? But then I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to be her or, like, if she was my goals for a girlfriend.” She had gushed one day at the poolside and both of you had excitedly discussed the wonders of women in blazers.

After that, sexuality hadn’t come up in conversation again. She hadn’t asked about your dating situation and you hadn’t complimented the pin of the bisexual flag that she kept on her backpack.

“Some moments, you just gotta take advantage of them.” She said.

“Uh-huh.”

Her fingertips ghosted across your jaw and your eyes fluttered shut, you could clearly see your defenses breaking down to the ground. She closed the gap between the two of you and the first kiss was an overwhelming relief.

In an instant your whole body reacted, you had never been good at playing it cool. You leant in closer until you could feel her body heat.

She cupped your cheek, the metal of her numerous rings was cool against your skin, which was undoubtedly aflame with an excited blush. You could smell the styling products in her hair and the faint memory of sandalwood from perfume applied in the morning. These things that you hadn’t noticed about her before, served to whet your appetite, with the desire to discover and experience more.

You separated from one another, needing air. She moved her hand up to your hair, short nails gently raking against your scalp. You slid your hand underneath her shirt, caressing the smooth skin of her back. You weren’t bold enough to pull her back in for more, but, if you could help it, she wasn’t going to move too far away.

“Should I turn the light out?” She asked.

“You don’t have to…” You brushed the tip of your nose against hers. “You’d be depriving me a bit, don’t you think?”

“Oh, so you’re one of those girls.” She smiled knowingly.

“No, it’s because you’re the type of girl I wanna look at, you should be seen, a lot.”

“So you want me to show you a thing or two?”

You bit into your bottom lip, knowing that to step forward would be to cross the point of no return and the relationship between you would be irrevocably changed.

But you were too curious and too filled with desire to spare a thought for the consequences.

You answered her question by returning your lips to hers. She inhaled sharply and snaked an arm around your middle.

Her soft lips parted and you were able to guide your tongue into her mouth, where you could taste the custard from the tompouce that she’d had after dinner.

You had stopped thinking of what to do, instead your body was operating on autopilot, fuelled by the fire inside. You had eased her onto her back, covering her body with your own.

But she didn’t let you enjoy being on top for long - soon you found yourself pinned to the mattress as her hair tickled your skin. You pressed lingering kisses down her neck (you had enough self-control to know that you couldn’t leave visible marks).

Her hands worked on the fly of your jeans. “Why are you still wearing so much?”

“I wasn’t… I didn’t wanna just assume. I didn’t wanna come on too strong.”

“You’re wearing socks?” She asked. “I’m literally in just my underwear and you’re still wearing socks?”

“I was trying to be respectful.”

“Well, respectfully, it’s about time that you got naked.”

You laughed through the fumbles of removing your pants. She threw your socks as far as possible across the room, hopefully far enough that they would stop personally offending her. She shed her white singlet and her panties disappeared quickly too.

“I’ve thought about this, a bit.” She said with a smile as she ran a hand up your neck. “Is that okay to say?”

“Mm-hmm, you can say that.”

She pushed her thumb across your bottom lip. “Like, when you first started working with us, I was like, oh-no she’s so hot.”

“Shut up, you did not.”

“I did, I did, I definitely did and now I’m just…” She linked her fingers through yours and used this to lift your arms above your head. “I’m really happy that we’re doing this.”

Her hot lips crushed into yours, one hand secured on your wrists to keep your hands up over your head. You arched your back up into her and you felt her hard nipples press into your chest. You purred into her mouth, all of your senses overwhelmed by her as she straddled you.

Her hand explored down your body, caressing and squeezing. Your heart leapt into your throat when she reached between your legs. All of your attention flew to that spot.

She pulled back slightly, finally releasing your hands. “Could I put-... I don’t wanna do anything that you don’t like, but I just- I really…” She giggled, appearing almost bashful. “I really wanna eat you out.”

“Are you asking my permission?”

“I guess.”

“You’re so cute.”

“Is that a yes?”

You pecked her. “That is a Hell fucking yes.”

Your breathing grew shallow. The anticipation was a pressure settling on your chest as she shuffled back, resting on her knees. Time seemed to stand still as she looked over your body, appraising you.

She moved down to the end of the bed and her warm hands started at your ankles, reaching up to spread your thighs. She licked her lips and lowered herself down, bowing into your crotch. Her hair tickled your skin, making you shiver.

Her tongue swiped up between your folds before her lips rested on your clitoris, pillowing it perfectly. You clenched your hand into a fist around some of the bedsheet.

She swirled her tongue in a circle around your clit, then gently sucked on it, bringing the entire hood into her mouth. The pleasure rose up, washing through your whole body.

She moved her attention lower, venturing to taste you on the inside. She slid her tongue into your entrance with you immediately quivering around her.

She massaged your slick walls with her tongue, so thoroughly exploring your pussy that you felt your body become limp. You threw your head back as your breathing grew increasingly laboured.

You felt dizzy when she retracted her tongue, licking a clear path up to your clit. She kissed it again, playing with it between her lips. Your pussy clenched around nothing, seeming to throb with your need for her.

You couldn’t contain a happy moan when she inserted the first finger. Perhaps she could tell how close you were to an orgasm because she didn’t hesitate to add another finger into your pussy.

Then a third finger was inserted. All the while, her lips maintained the pressure on your clit.

Her unoccupied hand grasped your leg, pushing your thighs further apart. Her dexterous fingers reached impossibly deep into you, stimulating every inch of your pussy.

She curled her fingers up, finding the perfect spot. A moan came from deep in your throat as she rubbed at this sensitive spot. Her lips continued to work over your clit, the chaotic rhythm sending you into an unbelievable realm of pleasure.

When she darted her tongue out to swirl it around the clit, you spasmed, bucking involuntarily into her face. She held steady, focused on her goal of getting you off. She was relentless, riding out each of your thrusts.

“Oh God, g-g-God.” You panted, covering your face with your hand.

You saw stars filling the darkness behind your eyelids. You chased your orgasm, bucking erratically as every nerve inside of you quivered.

“Vic, oh yes. Uhm-ergh, Vic. Victori-... fuck, Victoria.” Your voice broke and then you were overtaken by the climax, unable to make any coherent noises.

Your legs twitched as she pulled out of you and left you to catch your breath. You were dazed, feeling yourself tremble and you were certain the after effects of her tongue would be rocking through you for hours. Your knees felt like jelly and you knew that there would be no walking back to your own room tonight.

“Holy… oh wow.” There wasn’t any fitting way to express how you were feeling. No words could capture your admiration for her skills.

You felt the mattress shift and then felt her arms wrapping around you, her skin pressed against your sweaty body. She kissed your cheek a few times and you opened your eyes, looking over to find her smiling at you.

She leant in and pressed her lips to yours in a deep kiss. Her lips parted and you could no longer taste the Danish dessert. The taste she transferred to you now was far more primal and salty.

“I swear, that’s like, the wettest I’ve ever fucked.”

You wrapped your arms around her neck. “You should take it as a compliment.”

“I do, don’t you worry about that.”

Your forehead rested against hers, the sparkle in her blue eyes was intoxicating. “What about you, do I need to get a bucket and mop for you?”

She giggled, a cute crinkle momentarily forming on the bridge of her nose. “I think there’s something better you could do right now.”

You initiated the next kiss, sucking her bottom lip between yours so you could play with it. You brought your teeth forward, giving her lip some teasing nips. The pleased moan that she emitted vibrated into your mouth. She pressed her chest flush to yours, placing a firm hand to your cheek.

The kiss was cut short when you reached for her pussy and she gasped, a fire seeming to spark at once. She was hot, blessing your fingers with an inviting warmth.

She pushed you onto your back again, placing her knee next to your hip. She was breathless as she gave you a longing kiss.

When she threw her head back, you took advantage of all of this extra space, letting your lips venture down the length of her neck. You tested the sensitivity of her clitoris by rolling your thumb over it, listening to her shudder in response.

You lightly drew circles around the hood and she arched her back, lifting up, above your eye-level.

This presented her nipples temptingly close to your mouth. You considered each of them as you pressed harder on her clit, letting her feel your gestures more. Her nipples were standing erect, looking so pink with the skin of the areola pebbled.

You had seen her topless plenty of times in the past, almost too many occurrences to count. She was very Italian in her lack of modesty regarding her body but now you were allowed to be enticed. You could properly look at them and admire how perfect they were - how firm and how symmetrical.

You placed your lips around her nipple, tasting it with your open mouth. You increased the speed of your finger and made your circle wider, experiencing more of her wetness. She locked a hand around your wrist and rocked into you. You pressed your finger harder and started to roll your tongue over, around her nipple. Her breathing skipped and you were inspired to keep going, to see what else you could draw out of her.

Her pussy slicked your fingers, providing the greatest of ease for you to slide into her. She seemed to melt at your touch and adding more of your fingers was effortless. She coated you down to your knuckles as you started to pump your fingers inside of her.

Her breath rattled in her throat and you switched to the other nipple, wetting it before closing your lips around it. She thrusted her hips, matching your speed to create the friction she needed.

You didn’t hold back, letting her feel every inch of your digits as you pushed in and in and in again. You passed your thumb over her clit and relished the feeling of her already-tight hole clenching even more.

“Yes, just like that.” You had never heard her voice so shaky. “Fuck me just like that.”

You stretched your thumb back, playing with her clit, not wanting to leave it without attention. Her thrusts became more erratic, losing any elegance. You judged that she was close to coming completely undone, ready to come.

You moved back, licking your lips and taking a moment to watch her. You brought one finger up and gave her nipple a determined flick. Her mouth fell open in surprise and it seemed she couldn’t shut it again.

“Yes, yes, fuck.”

She pummelled into you, her hands grasping and clawing at your body, desperate to keep you close. You didn’t need to move your fingers any longer, allowing her to ride you to her orgasm.

She bounced so fast (and with all of her body weight) that you half-worried she might injure your wrist.

But then she reached her climax, calling out your name. She gradually slowed, the waves of pleasure losing their power. You stroked her pussy thoroughly and slowly, teasing out every last second of her orgasm.

She collapsed onto the mattress alongside you, fighting for breath. You deposited your fingers into your mouth, savouring the taste of her arousal.

“Give me a sec’, I just wanna turn the lights out.” She said.

🔥✨🔥✨🔥✨🔥✨🔥✨🔥✨🔥✨🔥

If you like my writing, feel free to tip me. I am open to both commissions & requests, commissions get priority & the most input.

Thank you to this amazing post for letting me integrate some Italian slang

#maneskin x reader #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin smut #victoria de angelis fic #victoria de angelis x reader #victoria x reader

309 notes · View notes

theshireisburning-so-mordoritis · 3 years

Text

Love, The Hardest Way

Enemies To Lovers Week - Day 4

Pairing: FO Poe Dameron x F!Reader

Prompt: "Just let me die." "No...I can't."

Word Count: 3.8K

Warnings: 18+. Lovers to enemies to lovers. Heavy angst with a hopeful ending. Grief from betrayal. Some violence and light gore. Brief handjob. Soft, desperate kind of sex. Unprotected PIV.

A/N: So I'm supposed to be taking time off until my health is better but I got so bored and this fic idea wouldn't leave me alone so here we are.

You're exactly how he remembers.

A little bloody. A little bruised. Features hidden beneath a veil of dirty hair except for the blazing glow of your eyes searing into him the moment he steps into your cell.

It's seeing you in this kind of state that had driven him here - to them, the First Order. He wanted the killing to stop, the acidic fear that scorched his throat everytime you left his arms to stop. There'd been too many times he almost lost you, too many times he'd clung to your hand whilst you'd lay unconscious and torn up in the medbay and he'd prayed to anyone that would listen please don't take her too.

It had broken something vital within him, chipped away at the light of his hope until it felt like he was constantly choking on the darkness that loomed with the constant threat of your death.

He thought his betrayal would unlock the stalemate, end the war and bring some kind of stability to the galaxy. But he'd been blind, the resistance had only grown more determined - you had grown more determined.

Your face is plastered all over the galaxy - the rebel sharpshooter with a bounty on her head that rises with every wrench you throw into the First Order's plans and fuck had you been relentless.

He's surprised they hadn't killed you the moment they had you and for a moment Poe thinks it would have been easier, easier than having to face you like this - to look directly into the heart of your hate for who he's become and not fall to his knees and beg that you understand.

He remains impassive instead. His face a glacial mask, tone cold and clipped whilst you hiss and spit at him like a scorned cat.

You'd always been glorious in your fury. A firestorm bound within tissue and bone - beautiful and deadly. It scared many but it had been one of the things Poe had found himself enamoured by, uncaring if it reduced him to nothing more than a smouldering husk if it meant he got to burn with you for a while.

Even now it makes his fingers twitch with the desire to take you in his arms, seal his mouth to yours and drink the heat from your veins.

He doesn't though - you'd probably fucking bite him, tear him to shreds the second he gets to close given the way you're looking at him.

But fuck he wants to. He's missed you.

They go round and round for days. Every conversation, if they can even be called as such, is a disaster.

You won't say a single thing without it containing some kind of insult and Poe is close to ripping his fucking hair out from the root. Each time he visits you're that little bit worse for wear, skin painted in the colours of the stormtroopers violence and it's making him desperate.

Every new part of you cut open picks at him until he's like a frayed nerve - vibrating with damaged, volatile energy. It's getting fucking dangerous because he can't leave you alone, if he was smart he'd stay away but there's a hook in his heart reeling him back to you whenever he tries and it's only a matter of time before someone notices he's the only one who hasn't laid a hand on you.

He needs you out of here, needs you somewhere where the weight of your judgement and the danger you're in doesn't constantly squeeze at the guilt in his lungs until he thinks they'll pop like balloons and make him consider doing something incredibly stupid.

Reasoning with you is pretty much useless.

"You know you have to tell them something or they're gonna kill you."

"Is this the amazing interrogation techniques the First Order have been teaching you? Go to fucking hell Dameron I'm not telling you shit.'

"Why do you always have to make things so difficult?"

"Don't know. Why did you turn out to be such a treacherous coward?"

Your eyes are wicked bright as you glare at him - sharp with disdain that slashes through his chest. Of course he'd been a fool to think he could reason with you.

You're the true poster child of the Resistance - the self sacrificing, righteous to the end soldier dipped in golden light and you look at him like he's nothing more than a horror story - the hero turned monster with his soul dripping tar.

You won't ever consider your life worthy of betraying a cause, you're too noble.

Poe will just have to do it for you. Again.

He tries to plan it right, do things the smart way this time.

The First Order is nothing like the Resistance after all, if he'd been caught betraying the rebels there would have been questions - a trial maybe. They would have wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, most likely because they wouldn't have wanted to understand their best pilot would deal them such a devastating blow.

Here they'll just kill him. Or worse they'll kill you first and make him watch before they send him to join you in pieces.

He wants to do it right but then everything goes to hell.

You're pressed up against the wall of your cell when he rounds the corner, a stormtrooper crushing your throat in one hand whilst the other digs a blaster into the meat of your stomach and Poe sees fucking red.

The images spear through his conscious in fragments - fresh blood smeared over your face, a split lip, a bruised jaw. They flip faster and faster like pages of a book until he lunges, rams into the trooper's body with enough force to send them both sprawling across the cell.

He turns rabid, something primal and pulsing dark bursts from his chest and he's on top of the man in seconds - hands clawing at his helmet until he finds a solid enough grip to slam his head into the ground over and over.

It's like he can't stop - he doesn't see the man beneath him, the helmet that splinters and caves from the force of Poe ramming it against the ground until there's nothing but a mangled mess with crimson seeping through the cracks. It's still not enough, not until he drowns out the sound of your desperate struggle to breathe with the sickening snap of bone beneath his hands.

As soon as the trooper goes limp he's crawling over to you - his hands wet and slippery against the cold tile and his mind all dazed like it's been stuffed full of cotton wool.

You're curled up on the floor, body hunched in on itself like you're trying to make yourself too small to be seen so he won't turn his rage upon you next. It fucking hurts that you think he ever could but he only has himself to blame. The guilt gaping open in his chest like an endless void as he pets at you with trembling hands and lowers his head to yours with a soft whimper of your name.

You shudder against him. "Please stop pretending like you still care."

Your voice is stretched thin like you haven't even got the energy left to be angry at him and it makes his eyes burn, his throat squeezing tight and aching as you whisper. "Just let me die, it'll be easier on us both."

"No." The word punches out of his lungs - cracked and violent - and you flinch as his arms wind around you before his voice drops to something impossibly broken. "I can't."

"Why?"

"You know why sweetheart."

It wounds you both in some way, the acknowledgement that he still loves you. He feels the way you go rigid in his arms as the endearment slips out just like old times, the ragged stutter of your breath whilst the rest sinks in and you fight against the truth of it only to sag against his chest as the first sob heaves through your throat.

You beat weakly at his chest but he only curls you into him tighter, his own tears streaking through the blood and sweat splattered over his cheeks as you burst like a dam and words pour from your mouth - fractured and devastated.

"I hate you."

"I know."

"No you don't!" You cry, your head snapping up from under his chin so he has no choice but to witness the agonised glow in your eyes. "You have no idea. You have no idea what it was like to love you so much that it drowned me with every breath, to see a whole future with you and want it more than anything I've ever wanted my whole life and then wake up in the medbay alone one day and finding out you were just gone."

It fucking breaks him hearing the way your voice hitches and wavers with the pain, the way you force the past tense of your love at him and he doesn't know if it's the suffocating guilt or the fact you seem to think it was so easy for him to leave you but he finds himself getting defensive - a hot flash of anger like a struck match flaring in his gut.

"And just why did you think I left!" He fumes. "You were in the medbay again. How many times did you expect me to helplessly sit by a bed and hold your hand whilst you fought for your life. Do you have any fucking idea what that did to me, the constant fear each time you were admitted that this could be the one where I lost you!"

You shove him away from you and scramble into a seated position, your eyes snapping with fury as he mimics you.

"So I nearly died a few times and you thought joining the enemy, the ones trying to kill me, was the way to put a stop to that? Has all that flying rattled your brain or did I just never notice how much of a fucking idiot you are." You spit and he glares at you, hands clenching to fists as he fights the urge to grab your shoulders and shake you.

"I thought changing sides would end the war sooner so I could keep you safe." He growls.

You regard him with a dark kind of humour, a hollow laugh bubbling in your throat as you roll your eyes at him. "Over exaggerating your abilities there weren't you Dameron. Maybe you do belong here after all with that ego of yours."

"If I remember correctly sweetheart you never seemed to think my abilities were over exaggerated before." He taunts, unable to help himself, it's like falling back into old habits - the stretched curve of his smirk pulling at his lips with no other reason but to see if he's still capable of working his way beneath your skin. "In fact you used to praise them high enough it'd be hard for any guy to keep his ego in check."

He watches you like a hawk as your jaw flexes, something swirling hot and hungry in your eyes whilst they rake over him before you shake your head and press your fingers against the ground like you're stopping yourself from taking a swipe at him.

"Shut the fuck up Dameron." You hiss. "You don't get to talk about before or about us like that - like it's all some big joke to you."

"If I thought it was a joke would I have betrayed everything I've ever believed in for the slightest chance it meant protecting you." He murmurs, his voice suddenly dropping low and deadly serious whilst your eyes narrow. "Would I be planning to turn traitor again because no one from the cause we have both gave everything to is coming to save you and if I have to see one more scratch or speck of blood on that perfect face of yours I'll tear this fucking ship apart with my bare hands."

You go painfully still as you stare at him stunned, your eyes wide and lips parted on shaky exhales as he crawls closer to where you've scooted back against the wall.

"Dameron." His name expels from your body in a rush, a panicked blurt as your hand flings up in a limp effort to ward him from coming closer.

He doesn't stop until your fingers brush his uniformed chest, the contact zapping electricity between you as you both shudder. He wonders if you can feel the erratic pounding of his heart, the way his chest rises jagged as his fingertips trail over the soft warmth of your skin before he curls his hand around your own.

"You can hate me all you want." He promises though the words feel like shards of glass in his mouth."

"Please stop."

"But I love you." He croaks. "Even if you hate me to the day I die - I will still love you."

Your face crumbles - eyes blinking rapidly like it's suddenly too difficult to look at him, to bear the pain and his love that he's moulded together with his own hands and shoved deep into your centre.

"Poe." His heart lurches at the first use of his name but your voice sounds so weak, so fragile and the bittersweet taste of it is a different kind of agony all on it's own. "You have no idea how much I miss you."

"I'm right here sweetheart."

He cups your cheeks, tries to soothe you but you're shaking your head, frustration flashing over your features for a moment.

"No you don't understand. I miss you all the time, even though I shouldn't - even when they plaster your face all over recruitment posters like they've won a fucking prize by taking you from us. Even when I see you in that uniform and it makes me feel physically sick because it's like repeating the day I lost you again and again - I still fucking miss you and no matter how hard I try I can't stop."

Your confession slices at the already tragic mess of his heart but then you shock him, your fingers curling in his collar - when had you even raised your hands? - before there's the hesitant press of your lips on his.

He doesn't move.

For what feels like an absolute eternity, Poe doesn't move - he can't.

He's frozen, startled into rigid place by the taste of copper and sweat until something blooms beneath it all that he recognises in a daze as pure you.

He never thought he'd get the chance to taste you again.

It snaps him from his paralyzed state, a desperate sound - broken with longing - clawing up out of his throat as his fingers hook around your neck and press into your shoulder blades until he's dragged you flush against him.

He holds you like he'll die if he lets go, slides his tongue into your mouth and tangles it with yours until you shiver and melt a little and your hands clench tight in the stiff fabric of his collar. Each kiss feels so incredibly fucking loaded he's vibrating with emotion, he funnels his apolgies through them, every white hot strike of guilt and pain and the never ending stream of his love.

He goes without a fight when you push him onto his back, he'll let you manipulate him anyway you want because you clearly need it and he needs you and nothing else matters. He does however stop you to check it's what you really want when your hands drop to his pants, nimble fingers unsnapping the button before he can even gasp out your name.

"Are you sure baby?"

It happens again - the slip of an endearment - and he almost winces as your eyes shade with emotion before you can hide it. He makes to lift you off him, to move away so he can breathe because maybe this isn't a good idea - you're both too raw - but then you curl around him, wrap him up tight in the warmth of your body and nudge your nose against his with a softly spoken. "Please Poe."

You still make him weak, any protests he had dissolving in an instant after only two pleading words from your lips. It'd almost be embarrassing knowing you could see it if it wasn't a sign of just how much he loves you that makes you turn that little bit sweeter.

He chokes when your hand slips inside his pants to circle around his cock, pulling it free before stroking him soft and slow. You dip your head and slot your mouth over his and he shivers, twines the length of your hair around his knuckles as you pull a ragged groan from his chest with each twist of your wrist and swirl of your thumb.

It's been so long that he's shaking, his hips thrusting into the fist of your hand as his tongue licks into your mouth and he can't help the way your name tumbles out - the desperate whine that blisters in the air because he's practically on fire after just a few touches but still craving more.

"Fuck - maker - sweetheart please, can I fuck you?"

The weight of your body and the grip of your hand around his cock disappears suddenly and he panics that he's pushed too soon, his eyes frantic as they search for you before blowing wide when they settle on you shoving off your pants.

He sucks in a sharp breath when you climb back over him, teeth sunk into the giving flesh of his lip as the heat from your pussy presses flush on his cock. You rock your hips and he bites so hard he tastes blood, he can feel how wet you are, how easy his throbbing length slides through the silky gloss of your parted folds.

He's desperate to touch you, to feel you buck against his fingers whilst he teases the swollen nub of your clit but then you're reaching between your bodies, notching him at your entrance before you sink down on him inch by inch with a throaty moan.

It's euphoric the way your pussy welcomes him, fluttering and swallowing him deep to the hilt as you both watch each other wide eyed. He knows why you look so overwhelmed - he feels it too - the twist in his stomach that it's still so fucking perfect after all this time.

You plant your hands on his chest and ride him slow and syrupy as molten honey, each cresting roll of your hips gentle like you're trying to learn how to move with him again before the memory takes over and you slot back together like puzzle pieces.

He cradles your jaw, sweeps his thumb over the edge of it and along the plush of your lower lip as he angles his hips to knock up into the soft swell of you. It makes your face go blissed out, chasing away the haunted shadows he's seen lingering there as your eyes flutter and you quietly whisper his name.

There's a swell of something hot behind his ribs, a flood of emotion that forces him to tear his eyes away before his tongue gets too loose with everything he's dreamt of saying since the moment he left. He glances down and his throat runs dry, the sight of his cock all shiny with slick spearing between the soaked folds of your pussy all as you slide up and down him scolds his veins and twists his desire into something primal.

He needs to be closer - needs to be pressed up against every inch of you and inside you anyway he can.

You gasp as he lurches up, the muscles of your thighs rippling as they clamp around him when he slides deeper and punches against something urgent and sharp, making you pant into his mouth whilst he seals his lips hungrily to yours and rakes his fingers down your back until he's pressing hard against the dip to lock you into his lap.

"Stars! - oh fuck Poe, don't stop."

"I've got you baby, I've got you - you feel so fucking good."

You're clinging to him as you bounce on his thighs, fingers buried into his curls and nails biting at his scalp as he shoves his face into your chest. He latches at your breast over the rough fabric of your shirt, soaks the rough material in his spit as his tongue drags over the peak of your stiffened bud poking through and he hears the way your breathing changes - the jagged edge as you quiver in his arms.

He grips your hips and rocks up faster, drives his cock through the fever hot channel of your pussy as his teeth snag at your nipple and he drags you down hard on the thick weight of his length again and again.

Your head falls against his shoulder and the piercing cry of your pleasure crackles across his skin before you burst. It drives him to near madness - wrenches his soul from his body and rockets it to another plane as the hot gush of liquid drenches his cock and you squeeze him steel-tight.

He loses all stability as his hips take up a chaotic rhythm - pounding into the clenching fist of your sex whilst your lips slip messily over his jaw.

"Poe. Poe. Poe. Cum for me Poe please, I need to feel it."

It crashes into him - his vision slamming to black before shocks of colour appear behind his eyes like vivid splashes of paint. He's vaguely aware of your fingers tugging at his curls, teeth marking his neck whilst he hauls you tight against him as his cock swells and spurts endless streams of warmth.

You hold him tenderly as he comes down from his high, fingers running over his hair, the sweep of his shoulders and down his arms and when he finally lifts his head to look at you it nearly breaks his damn heart.

You're unguarded, eyes soft and struck through with grief and fear and almost disbelievingly, love. It's a look that's so familiar he can't resist grabbing your face and crushing his lips to yours in a desperate kiss. It's the look you give him when he'd fucked up before, when he'd done something that made you mad as shit or scared as hell, that tells him you're not forgiven right now but in time you will be.

It makes him go all weak and liquid with hope. Something he's not felt in a really fucking long time that makes him offer you the first trembling hint of a real smile as he softly parts from your lips - his chest tingling when you return it with a soft sigh whilst his fingers trace the swell of your cheek before you eyes go wide at his next words.

"C'mon sweetheart, we need to move. It's time to go home."

Main taglist: @autumnleaves1991-blog @ecuadorlady @readsalot73 @acourtofsnakes @justanotherblonde23 @tiffanyblew @alexmarie29 @simsiddy @dihra-vesa @gingerbreadandpaper @sleep-tight1 @prettylilhalforc

Enemies to Lovers Taglist: @sfr99 @itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @hnt-escape

#fo! poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron fic #poe dameron imagine #enemies to lovers

371 notes · View notes

rizahawkais · 4 years

Note

Hi Nia! You're gifs are so pretty! Is it possible for you to show how you get your WandaVision gifs too look so clear and hd? And how do you do your colorings too? (specifically the wanda maximoff in episode 3 gifset ITS GORGEOUS) I'm new to giffing and all the tutorials are kind of old. It's okay if you don't want to though! I understand it may be time consuming.

omg no! never feel intimidated to ask!! i don’t mind at all!

so, i’m going to show you how i made and coloured this gif

mostly bc it’s the only gif in that set w text and i’m going to share my text settings too!

tutorial is below :)

WHAT KIND OF VIDEOS ARE BEST?

.mkv files (the bigger the better BUT i usually think anything above 5 gb is excessive and unnecessary for an episode of television BUT for a movie worth it) itunes downloads (logolesspro on twitter, hd-source on tumblr, live-action-raws on tumblr have some DEPENDING on what you’re looking for) (also, there’s a chance that if you search "show/movie hd download tumblr” you’ll find a tumblr with its itunes download available)

THAT IS IT NO OTHER TYPE OF FILES MAKE YOUR GIFS LOOK GOOD

- my suggestion is always if its new (like just came out the past month) t*rrent it! it’ll be downloaded quickly and .mkv files look the best! BUT if not check the sources above see who has the BIGGEST file if they even have what you’re looking for and then if not then you look to t*rrenting!!

here are the wandavision files i use so you can see!!

SCREENCAPPING

-if you have windows use potplayer! i have a mac so i can’t show you how to use it and it’s not available for me :( HOWEVER back when i had a windows potplayer was the best method in screencapping!!

-I HAVE A MAC! so i use mpv!! (go to mpv.io and follow the directions) BUT DON’T DOWNLOAD THE LATEST ONE (it has a bug that skips frames) try each before the latest one bc from what i heard different ones work differently for everyone!! and i don’t know which one i use (yikes!) THERE ISN’T THAT MANY I PROMISE AND IT’S WORTH IT BC MPV IS THE BEST (i used to use adapter but they didn’t take impressive screencaps in my opinion and it was evident in my gifs you can see it too! )

create a folder for your screencaps! and make sure to rmb the directory order! now we want to create a text file on our built in textedit app on mac! type up all this down below (i like jpg but you can replace jpg w png if you want) AND SAVE THE FILE AS mpv.conf THIS IS IMPORTANT SO DON’T FORGET IT! save it somewhere you’ll find easily and NEVER delete it until you don’t use mpv anymore

just in case you don’t know what to insert after, go to your screencaps folder

now you want to open mpv and go to the corner towards mpv -> preferences and they’ll tell you that there is no .conf file SO GO LOOK FOR THE TEXT FILE WE JUST MADE AND DRAG IT TO THE FOLDER THEY OPENED FOR US AFTER SAYING THERE IS NO .CONF FILE

(i learned all this from @kylos tutorial!! so if any of what i just said about setting up mpv makes NO SENSE to you check out their tutorial at kylos(.)tumblr(.)com/post/178497909311)

now we can screencap!

so let’s find the scene we want RIGHT BEFORE and MAKE SURE SUBTITLES ARE OFF

i pause and then press (option/alt + s) and then SCREENCAPS ARE BEING TAKEN!! and to end the screencaps being taken you once again press (option/alt + s)!!

now we want to delete the excess frames! and put it all into one folder!! DO NOT DELETE FRAMES IN THE MIDDLE OF WHAT YOU WANT TO GIF!! WHEN YOU SKIP FRAMES IT WILL BE NOTICEABLE!!

MAKING THE GIF

this method isn’t used that much BUT I LOVE IT so this is how i put my frames in! first i check to see the size of my frames: 1920 x 1080

so i create a NEW file on photoshop with those dimensions w these settings

now i set my tool on photoshop to path selection tool bc if you have it set on smth like move tool or crop tool at the end you might end up moving or cropping frames you don’t want to!

ok so now we select ALL our frames and drag it on top of our new file on photoshop and the MOMENT we see our first frame in photoshop JUST KEEP CLICKING ENTER until all the frames are loaded!!

you can do file -> scripts -> load files into stack but it is WAYYY slower in my opinion!

now i crop out the excess BUT i don’t resize the gif yet! the dimensions wandavision is filmed in is 4:3 so i go to crop and set the settings to this:

MAKE SURE IT’S ON RATIO SO WE’RE PRESERVING THE ORIGINAL SIZE JUST CUTTING OFF THE BLACK EDGES!! We are going from 1920 x 1080 to 1440 x 1080 this is the dimensions after i cropped

WE ARE KEEPING THE QUALITY BY NOT CHANGING THE DIMENSIONS OF ANYTHING INSIDE !!

now we want to go to actions and create an action!! open up actions w one of these two depending on what your dash looks like!!

so we create an action with this button on the bottom of actions and we’re gonna title it making a gif and hit record!!

NOW LET’S GOOOOO!!

1. make sure you have timeline on your dash!

2. create frame animation (if you see create video timeline just click the arrow next to the button to see your other option which is frame animation!!)

3. now let’s meet our best friend!! the little bar in the top right corner that has all the commands for making our gifs and MAKE FRAMES FROM LAYERS

4. WE HAVE TO SHARPEN OUR GIFS NOW BUT TO DO THAT WE NEED TO CONVERT TO A SMART OBJECT SO NOW WE ARE GOING TO CONVERT TO VIDEO TIMELINE there are two ways: the button in the bottom left corner or the button in the top right corner w all the other commands!

5. select -> all layers DON’T MANUALLY SELECT THEM ALL BC THE ACTION WILL ONLY SELECT THAT SAME NUMBER OF FRAMES SO IF THERE ARE MORE FRAMES YOU WON’T GET THEM IN THE SMART OBJECT!!

6. filter -> convert for smart filters

7. NOW WE SHARPEN!! (filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen) i sharpen twice!! first, make sure we are on legacy w more accurate and remove gaussian blue! the first sharpening will be 500% with 0.4 px radius. NOW SHARPEN AGAIN (filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen) also w legacy, more accurate and remove gaussian blur BUT this time 10% with a 10.0 px radius!

8. it’s hd now!! so let’s flatten frames into clips!! go to the top right magic button again!! and you should see a pop up saying layers are being made

9. now we convert back to frame animation w either the bottom left button or our magic top right command center!

10. make frames from layers

11. select all frames w our magic command button

12. set the animation delay to 0.05 THAT IS THE BEST ONE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS only use 0.06 when the character is moving really fast in the video itself and it makes the gif itself look awkward BUT NEVER GO ABOVE 0.06 it’ll look slow and laggy and we don’t want that and don’t go below 0.05 bc then it’ll be tooo fast and we don’t want that either!

13. now delete the very first frame on the timeline bc it is an oversharpened duplicate of the second frame! end the recording w this button!

this is what your action should look like expanded! if you made mistakes on the way and it shows up you can just click the specific step and press the trash can on the action tab to delete in from the order!!

NOW AFTER LOADING YOUR FRAMES AND CROPPING THE EDGES OF YOUR FRAMES IF YOU NEED TO JUST PLAY THE ACTION AND THEN YOUR GIF WILL BE MADE FOR YOU!!!!

now i delete some unnecessary frames in the beginning and end and this is what my gif looks like (the size was 46 mb and the limit is 10 mb so the dimensions of the gif are 540 x 405 to get it to 5 mb BUT I HAVEN’T CROPPED IT YET SO THIS IS ME CROPPING JUST TO SHOW YOU WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE)

CROPPING THE GIF

in my opinion if you want your gif to look hd you shouldn’t crop before you sharpen!! i believe that if you crop before you sharpen you don’t allow photoshop to sharpen all the pixels whereas if you crop beforehand there is less to work with!!

dimensions is all up to you!! just make sure to go by tumblr rules!! 540 is the max width and if you want to make two gifs per row then my suggested width is 268 and for three gifs per row my suggested is 177 px! Just have the right width and the length can be whatever you want!!

now i’m going to crop my gif to 540 by 590!!

NOW THIS IS WHAT MY GIF LOOKS LIKE!

COLOURING BASICS

let me show you the best adjustment tools in my opinion and a brief explanation for what they do!!

brightness/contrast: pretty simple increase/decrease the brightness/contrast BUT one of my techniques for when i first start colouring a gif is i select all my frames and do nothing to the settings of the adjustment but i set the layer to screen LIKE THIS

curves: ik others use curves to change brightness/contrast w the squiggly thing BUT i like it to set a white point and black point, this is also a technique i use when i first start colouring a gif when screen doesn’t look good for me SO you use white point to select a pixel on the gif to set as the lightest color on the gif (setting the white point) and you use black point to select a pixel on the gif to set as the darkest colour on the gif (setting the black point) usually the white point makes it TOO bright and that’s why we use the black point to counter it and same goes for when i use screen with brightness/contrast, it gets too bright so i use black point to counter it below is the button for white point and the button for black point, respectively they are shaped as color picker tools

vibrance: generally, i never use this except for color p*rn sets but they work really well in making colors seem more strong

hue/saturation: like vibrance, i never use this except for color p*rn sets but this adjustment is to help change the colors or hue of a color for example: turn blue into purple or turn a blue into a little lighter shade of blue

color balance: I ALWAYS USE THIS!! except for in black and white gifs BUT THIS IS MY GO TO AND IF I DON’T USE IT MY GIFS ARE JUST BLAND i feel like color balance is what essentially balances the colors on your gif and adds dimension to it, it makes your gif go from looking way too yellow to a more golden neutral look and it is an essential adjustment in my opinion

channel mixer: i rarely use channel mixer BUT it is so so useful when you are working w a dark scene just play w the settings and all of a sudden all the blue in a dark scene will be a little more yellow and red and your scene will kind of just look brighter and more visible

selective color: THIS IS ALSO AN ESSENTIAL this helps SPECIFIC colors pop you’re working on a scene where there is too much red on someones face you use this tool to remove the magentaness from the yellow section OR when you feel someones face is TOO yellow and needs more blush you add more magenta in the yellow section of selective color

gradiant map: gradiant map is perfect when you’re lazy if you feel like your gif looks more neutral and you want some red in it but you don’t want to mess with any other adjustments just set a red to black gradiant on soft overlay with a very low opacity and BOOM slightly red but not too much red added!

NOW TO COLOR THE GIF!

today i have decided to start with a brightness layer set on screen

and this is what we got!

now that’s a little to bright and washed out in my opinion SOOOO to counteract it, i’m going to use my black point tool in curves and i’m going to select this point on the gif (it’s better to choose smth in the background and not smth that’s paid attention to such as monica’s hair or either of their eyelashes)

now my gif looks like this! the base color is complete!

now i think i need to balance all this yellow and red! SOOOO WE GONNA USE COLOR BALANCE!!

i think the best way to use color balance is to keep swinging the balancer until you see what you like and then keep going midtones i think i want more red and i don’t want a cyan midtone and then for shadows i think i want more cyan to counter the redness of the gif but highlights i don’t touch that much NOW HERE ARE MY SETTINGS SO YOU CAN SEE

and this is what my gif looks like

now you can stop here if you want but in my opinion i think the gif looks a lil too dead still SO IMMA USE SELECTIVE COLOR

i think there needs to be a lot lot more RED so i amp up the yellow magenta and black in the red! but i also think the yellows need to be LESS RED so i remove magenta from the yellow! and bc there’s some cyan and blue bc of monica and the flowers in the background im going to make the cyans more cyan and the blues a lil more black! i’m going to remove some yellows from the magenta!! and i add more black to the neutrals and black!! i think it’s always important to add more black to neutral and black bc it adds more depth to the gif by not just making it a bunch of bright colors and having dark colors to contrast to!! my settings are below!

and the result!

now let’s see everything together!

and the before and after!

I HOPE MY COLOURING EXPLANATION MADE SENSE!! if not you can always ask me more questions i don’t mind!!

ADDING SUBTITLES

we want to grab the text tool!

make a text box from anywhere in the middle from the left to right edge. this is so we can make sure our text is centered and will be in the same place for when we have sets w more than one gif w text!

type your text out and make sure you highlight the whole text so that all the settings apply to EACH character! you can find the alignments (for center) in the paragraph tab!

now lets right click on the text layer and go to blending options! add stroke and drop shadow!

now drag it to the desired height you would like and make sure to keep it in mind for when you have more than one subtitled gif in a set!

NOW TO MAKE SURE THE TEXT STAYS IN PLACE AND THE BLENDING STAYS YOU HAVE TO CONVERT TO SMART OBJECT!!

if you want to only have the text applied to certain frames instead of all frames, select the frames you don’t want by clicking the first frame in ur don’t want section ON THE TIMELINE and WHILST HOLDING SHIFT click the last frame of ur don’t want section and then toggle the eye switch next to the text layer

now you see the text

now you don’t

tip: use opacity to fade the text in and out!

the text is going to be on all my frames so i don’t need to toggle the eye but i just wanted to show you just in case!!

now here’s my FINAL RESULT

save for web (file -> export -> save for web)

your gifs have to always be under 10 mb! so, if your WAYYY overboard YOU HAVE TO DELETE FRAMES! or you can divide the gif in two and have two gifs instead of one! however, if you plan on going the deleting frames route MAKE SURE YOU DELETE FROM THE BEGINNING OR END OF YOUR SELECTION i promise you that most of us won’t notice that your characters dialogue is being cut off BUT WE WILL NOTICE IF FRAMES ARE BEING SKIPPED so, don’t delete frames in the middle of ur gif!! idc how little you do it IT WILL RUIN YOUR GIF AND I SAY THIS FROM EXPERIENCE i would delete every fifth frame to cut down my gifs and that may seem like not that big of a deal BUT IT IS my gif looked choppy and poor so it is way better to cut from the end/beginning of the gif

ANOTHER LAST PIECE OF ADVICE in the bottom left of when the save for web menu shows up THERE’S A PREVIEW BUTTON click on it! it’ll show you your gif on your default browser and show you what it’ll look like once uploaded! this is perfect to check the speed of ur gif and the colouring and to notice if there’s a problem with your subtitles or maybe there’s an obvious jump in frames you never noticed before!! i always use preview bc the built-in photoshop viewer of ur gif shows the colors differently and the speed is NEVER ACURRATE!

I USED THESE SAVE SETTINGS!! many say to use selective pattern but i DISAGREE and i think these save settings are the ✨ best ✨

OK NOW THAT IS THE END OF THIS VERY LONG GIF TUTORIAL!! I HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!! IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK I SINCERELY DON’T MIND!! JUST DON’T BE RUDE OR ANYTHING BC PPL HAVE BEEN RECENTLY :(

I WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK AND FUN IN YOUR GIFFING ADVENTURES !!

#tutorials #asks #sourceblog #allresources #completeresources #itsphotoshop #dailyresources #resourcemarket #chaoticresources #onlyresources #hisources #sibylresources #dailypsd

405 notes · View notes

mandoalorian · 3 years

Note

For some reason I really need to read Maxwell fucking reader in their luxurious walk in closet that’s basically a room of fuckable surfaces.

Blinding Lights [Maxwell Lord x F! Reader] SMUT

Warnings: 18+ smut, f recieving oral, fingering (guys it’s so intense i’m obsessed okay), cunningless, squirting, over stimulation, orgasm denial, unprotected p in v, pre-established relationship, soft Max but rough sex.

Word count: 3100>

Author’s Note: This is honestly one of my favourite smuts I’ve written in a long time. I’m proud of the detail (is that weird?) and I just hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always, reblogs are appreciated. <3

Masterlist

Maxwell’s mouth was insistent, that much wasn’t a surprise. He always kissed you as if it was out of desperation. Hot and passionate -- like it might be his last chance kissing you forever. He savoured every moment, the taste of your tongue and the way your soft lips fit perfectly against his. You could faintly taste the vanilla lip balm he was wearing and couldn’t contain the wanton moan that escaped your throat when his big hands began caressing your body. They finally settled on your hips, and he dug his ring glad fingers into the soft skin there, offering you a playful squeeze.

When you squirmed beneath him, he chuckled, feeling a familiar heat flood his body. He nudged the curve of his nose against yours when you broke away from the kiss, but once he was satisfied that you had caught your breath, his lips came crashing down onto yours again. Maxwell took a few steps forward, pushing you into his walk-in closet and propping you against one of the shelves. He’d thought about this -- a lot.

You pulled away from his mouth once more and looked around, taking a second to process that you were no longer in his bedroom, but in his walk-in closet. It was enormous, and absolutely extensive in size. There was no reason, absolutely no reason whatsoever, for Maxwell to have this many power suits. Each one had been pressed and ironed perfectly before getting hung up. It was colour coordinated, but make no mistake, it looked like a rainbow. Racks on racks of shirts and ties and pocket squares, waistcoats, belts and suspenders, a display of cufflinks -- it honestly looked like a department store.

“Are you okay?” Maxwell asked, resting his forehead against yours.

You fixed your gaze back onto his lust blown brown eyes and smiled. “I’m perfect,” you reassured him, and your heart swelled with joy as you watched his face light up. “I can’t believe we’ve been together for a year and I’ve never seen your closet.”

Maxwell dramatically cleared the shelf behind you of his shoes and knocked them all the ground. It didn’t go quite as smoothly as he imagined. It was something he’d seen in a movie once. He cleared his throat before finally speaking.

“Yeah,” he shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. So you hadn’t seen his closet… so what? He’d shown you everything else. You’d literally travelled the world with him -- and you were fixating on the fact you’ve never seen his closet. To him, it wasn’t a big deal. But to you, it just showed that your boyfriend still somehow managed to be an enigma. You weren’t mad or upset, if anything, you found it endearing. In a way, it was nice that you were still finding things out about Max, even though you’d already known him for so long. “But I’ve wanted to fuck you in here since I first brought you home.” Maxwell grumbled in admittance, leaning in to pepper kisses along your neck and down your collarbone.

He needily tugged on the hem of your dress, making it clear that he wanted it gone. You pulled the thin material over your head and dropped it to the ground.

“So perfect,” he whispered, bringing his hand up to caress as his chaste kisses deepened down to the valley of your breasts. You felt his free hand snake behind you as he fiddled with the clasp that held your bra together. “May I?”

“Yes,” you breathed out needily, and within a second, your bra was gone. Now just in your panties, you nodded in the direction of your boyfriend. “Your turn.”

Maxwell rolled his eyes but couldn’t escape his grin as excitement filled him. You loved seeing him smile. Not that fake, forced television smile -- but his real, genuine smile. You knew it was real because he had this little dimple in the left of his cheek that always popped out. You felt so lucky that you were one of the only ones that got to see him like this. You were one of the only people who could make him smile -- and make his heart blossom with so much love and adoration. To Maxwell, you were truly a figment of perfection. He was an esteemed, intimidating businessman. But you were like an angel; soft and delicate. You made him a better person without even trying.

It took him a little longer to undress -- discarding the jacket, and then the tie, and then his suspenders, and then unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off his shoulders. The second he was shirtless, you did what you always did. You reached out and wrapped your arms around him, relishing in the heat of his broad and tan chest. You nuzzled your head into him and he began to softly smooth out your hair.

“I love you so much.” he uttered softly, pressing a kiss into your hair. His stomach erupted into butterflies when he felt you smile against his skin.

“I love you too.” you sighed into admittance.

When you pulled away, he cupped your face and his thumb brushed the height of your cheekbone. You were half expecting another deep kiss, but his lips barely brushed against yours.

“Get up.” He ordered, pointing at the shelf he’d just cleared of his shoes. You turned around in surprise but followed his demand, hopping up and sitting on the shelf. Your feet were dangling off the edge. You were only a few inches from the ground, but it truly felt like you were sitting on a cloud.

He adored your body and he made sure you knew it. He spent a few minutes gawking, and if it was anyone else, you would’ve felt uncomfortable. But you were so madly in love with Max Lord, you let him look for as long as he wanted. You knew it wasn’t easy for him to get shirtless, as he had an air of insecurity about his body, but the two of you trusted each other one hundred percent and being around Max (and Max being around you) gave you both a significant boost of confidence.

“You’re so amazing.” Max breathed out, shaking his head incredulously and clasping his hands together in awe. It almost looked like he was praying.

You tossed your head back and Max felt his cock jump in his tailored pants at the way you exposed the column of your neck, just for him. “Stop,” you groaned. You were glad your head was thrown back so Max couldn’t see the flush of heat that crossed your cheeks. “You always say that.”

“But it’s true!” he exclaimed before taking a step forward and bringing his hand to your neck, giving it an experimental squeeze.

“Max please,” you whimpered, crossing your legs together as you felt the arousal pool in your panties.

“Please what?” he asked, his warm breath fanning over your ear lobe.

“You know.” you drawled out as his hand cradled your breast again. He dropped his hand down to your stomach and let it linger just above the hem of your lace panties.

“I want you to say it.” he hissed, making your cunt clench around nothing. Gods -- you needed him.

“I want you to fuck me.” You gasped out, and a wicked smirk crossed Max’s lips. His eyes were almost black at this point, and his dark blonde hair that was once perfectly styled, was now disheveled, with little waves falling out of place.

A small hum of acknowledgement left his lips as he rubbed his middle finger and index finger over the material of your panties. Max grunted at the feel of your clit through the lace material.

“You’re already so wet and I’ve barely even touched you,” Max praised, bringing his finger up to the bright closet lights and revelling in how your arousal glistened on his digit.

You needily rubbed your knee against his erection and he groaned, hating how confined he felt in the fitted suit pants. You loved to hear him. The noises he made during sex were sweet like honey and they turned you on so much. “I have to taste you.” Max announced finally, dropping to his knees and pulling your panties down.

He threw them haphazardly to the floor, in a puddle amongst yours and his other garments of discarded clothes. Just the vision of him on his knees between your legs was enough to drive you crazy. It was like he was worshipping you. Max softly began to palm at your knees as he spread you open. He leaned in, pressing hot, wet kisses into the softness of your inner thighs where it felt like cream.

The curve of his nose nudged against your clit and you tried holding back a cry as a jolt of pleasure ran through your core. He was taking his time, making you wait -- ever the tease. You brought your hands down to the back of his head and let your fingers tangle in his soft locks of hair. You gently pushed his face further into your core, hoping he’d get the message.

It was like he read your mind. He licked a hot stripe between your folds and the simple movement had you already seeing stars. You bundled his hair up into a fist and waited for him to lap at you again. Though this time, he changed his technique. He blessed you with short and fast kitten licks, and everytime he skillfully maneuvered his tongue over your bundle of nerves, you felt yourself near climax.

“Oh Max,” you moaned, not even realising the way your legs had clamped around his head. The wet noises that echoed through the confines of the box shaped closet were obscene, and you might have once been embarrassed, but quite frankly, in this moment, you had other things on your mind.

The tip of his tongue began to flick in and out your entrance and you let go of his hair at the sudden intrusion. You cried out, having no reason to care about how loud you were being. It was just you and him. “Oh fuck Max.”

His tongue increased speed, faster and faster, and it felt like your body was about to fall off a cliff and into a tingling sea of ecstasy. But he suddenly pulled off you when he sensed how close you were, denying you of an orgasm and leaving you a heaving panting mess.

You wanted to smack him. You wanted to get your revenge. How could he do this? You were so close. You were so close to cumming, literally just from his tongue. When you finally gained the energy to open your eyes, you’d mentally prepared yourself to say something but you were greeted with the image of Max and his pretty puppy dog eyes blinking up at you. And immediately all your thoughts were lost. His lips were shining with your wetness and curled up into a smile.

“You know I’m just preparing you for what’s to come, right?” He quizzed, raising his eyebrows. Okay, he had a point.

“Could’a still let me cum.” you grumbled, pouting your lips to sign your disapproval of the unfair nature of his game.

Max furrowed his eyebrows together and frowned. “Baby, what have I taught you?” He asked, and when you didn’t answer, he sighed. “To be patient.”

His gaze didn’t leave yours once, but still, he managed to bring his thick, ring clad finger back down to your core and push it deep inside of you. He didn’t take it slow, like the softness in his eyes might’ve implied. He thrusted his index finger as deep as he could and immediately located the special sweet spot inside of you -- the one he had memorised so carefully.

Instead of adopting his usual routine, he did something that took you by surprise. He didn’t remove his finger, it wasn’t an ‘in-and-out’ type of thing. He scraped the tip of the digit against your g-spot, his finger curling inside of you as he did so. It was ethereal. You’d truly never felt an intensity quite like it, and he wouldn’t stop. It was rapid and hard and the sensation you felt was blinding. The pleasure burned through your body like wildfire, and it didn’t take long at all before you had completely submitted to him. You couldn’t take anything in, you couldn’t process his actions anymore, it was too overwhelming. Overbearing too, but in the best way imaginable. He was stimulating you persistently, and no matter how much your thighs shaked or your cunt clenched around his finger, he just kept going.

Somewhere down the line, your eyes had snapped shut.

“Look at me,” Maxwell growled. You whimpered and squirmed, pretending like you didn’t hear him. To be fair, his voice was just an echo in the background, your feelings of how good this felt were at the forefront of your mind and Gods, why had he never tried this before? “Look at me or I stop.” He warned.

You didn’t know if he’d actually stop, but you knew for a fact you didn’t want to risk it. So it took all your might, but you managed to open your eyes, your gaze pleading with him, begging him to keep going.

And he did.

Had you cum yet? Surely you had. It felt like you’d cum a thousand times over, your body aching and tired. When he brought the thumb of his free hand to your clit and began to circle it, you wanted to scream. Maybe you did, you didn’t even know anymore. You couldn’t see clearly, everything was just like white noise.

That was it. That was the final straw. The lower portion of your body was a spasming mess and you had completely lost all focus. There was no going back. Until, his finger doubled out of you, lightning fast, as bolts of pleasure zapped through your body.

“Holy shit!” Max hissed, his eyes wide as he took in the sight before him.

You still weren’t entirely sure what was going on, until you felt… wet? Wetter than before. Significantly wetter than before.

“Oh fuck baby,” Max whispered, and you managed to catch a blurred glimpse of his face before he plunged his finger back inside of you. His face looked wet too. “You’re perfect. So perfect.” he praised.

“Wh-- what-- wh--” you could barely even find words as he continued to finger you. Despite his actions being slow this time, the overstimulation was killing.

“You squirted, princess.” Max smiled proudly, pressing a kiss to your knee.

“I-- what-- I did-- what--” You were still in disbelief. So that’s… that’s what that was. It felt like a molten hot tornado ripping through your body -- and you’d never felt anything like it before but there wasn’t a chance you’d trade the feeling for the world. “I’ve never done that before.” you confessed, relishing in your post-orgasm haze.

“I’m glad I could make you do it then.” Max said before removing his finger and placing it on his tongue, moaning at the taste of you.

He gave you about a minute as you came down from your high, and as you did so, he unbuckled his belt, pulled it through the loops of his pants and got completely naked in front of you. You were still on cloud nine when you felt the bulbous tip of his cock press against your core.

“I’m going to fuck you now,” Max whispered, leaning over your body and nibbling at the skin of your neck. “Just like you wanted, okay? And I’m not going to be gentle.”

Well, at least he warned you.

He thrusted deep inside of you, his movements relentless. You clenched around him, desperate to milk him for all he had. It was amazing, the feeling of every ridge and vein of his cock rub against your walls. He was going to make you cum again, you were sure of it, and you knew it was going to be soon.

The way his length throbbed and twitched inside of you -- you knew he was close too. You were so insanely wet from squirting, you could even feel your juices drip down the curve of your ass. You couldn’t imagine the mess you made, probably sitting in a puddle of your own arousal right now.

You wished the moment would last forever, but he rested his head in the crook between your neck and shoulder and bit down on you. “Gonna cum.” he gasped, fucking you even harder. Faster. Deeper. You were a shaking mess.

“Cum inside of me, Maxie.” you begged, tugging on his locks of hair and giving him just enough motivation to let go.

“Almost there.” He groaned before gasping out as his salty seed spurted inside of you, roping your walls filling you up.

He stayed inside of you until he softened, hugging you tight and kissing you softly. “I love you so much, so so much.” He’d confess in between kisses. “Never leave me. Please never leave me. I love you too much.”

You could feel his heartbeat against your own as you ran your fingers through his hair. “I’m never leaving you Maxie, I promise.”

-—-—-—♡—-—-—-

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @dybalalover10 @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja200 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz @persie33 @sleepylunarwolf @martellthemandalor @pedro-pastel @steeevienicks @rrtxcmt @saphic-susperia @ladyjenny19 @readsalot73 @softmedics

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #maxwell lord #max lord #maxwell lord x reader #max lord x reader #ww84 #pedro pascal smut #jose pedro balmaceda pascal

278 notes · View notes

mycrofts-gunbrella · 3 years

Text

Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Mycroft Holmes x Reader (Part 11)

A/N- Okay so this is just a short 2k fill in chapter! It’s kinda cute and kinda sad but it was too long to add to the last chapter, and it doesn’t fit in with the theme of the next chapter (though it sets it up quite nicely!). The next chapter is likely going to be a bit angsty but I promise it’ll have a rewarding ending to it! I hope to have it written and up sooner rather than later but, until then, enjoy this little piece.

Word Count- 2028

The ten minute drive from Baker Street to the Natural History Museum went by in a flash- most of it being spent by Mycroft giving you a mental tour of the building's various rooms and the 'most appropriate route to take'. Though it did also take a minute or two for you to convince him to not get everybody kicked out for a private visit, no matter how many people were there.. Admittedly, you hadn't been to the museum for 6 years or so now- after living so long in London it feels less of a luxury being only round the corner from it- but walking through the doors made you feel like a child again. Entry to the museum was free, but that didn't mean you didn't see Mycroft swiftly pushing a few notes into the donation bin at the front before guiding you forwards. Glancing up, you eyed the blue whale skeleton that hung from the ceiling and frowned. Mycroft caught your look and spoke up.

"Ah yes, Hope has been a relatively recent addition to the museum. She was found dead on an Irish beach back in 1891. It's a rather beautiful marvel to gaze upon, though, large as she is, she doesn't quite fill the hole in my heart that was left after my beloved Dippy was removed." Your eyes scanned the skeleton of the large mammal once more before looking back at Mycroft. "I did try to convince the board to keep the diplodocus somewhere but all attempts were futile. There's only so much force you can put into such a topic without exposing yourself as-"

"As a man who loves dinosaur bones more than he loves people?" Mycroft shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed.

"The very thing." Lifting your arm, you rested your hand at the crook of Mycroft's elbow to encourage him to move on.

"When we get home and have dinner we can raise a toast in Dippy's honour.. but for now, my mind's been taken over by that huge statue of Darwin." And the pair of you headed off, your hand very much staying place at Mycroft's arm as you wandered through the rooms- Mycroft more than willing to reel off facts about every deceased animal of history and, more often than not, even impressing the workers with his spiel of facts. Though you were very much enjoying wandering aimlessly through the room of human evolution, you most definitely noticed the pull from the man beside you as he was eager to reach his beloved dino-pals. As you turned the corner into the slightly darkened dinosaur room, you tripped over your feet slightly as you felt Mycroft stop in his tracks, his eyes wide and taking everything in. He looked as happy as a boy at Christmas and, quite frankly, it was adorable. You nudged him slightly when he still didn't move. "You okay?"

"Sorry, it just seems as though, no matter how many times I come here, it always feels like the first." He had shaken his head as though to bring his thoughts back to focus before taking a few steps into the gallery and leading you over to the skeletal remains of a Baryonyx. "The name Baryonyx roughly translates to 'Heavy Claw' from the Ancient Greek's 'Barys' meaning heavy and 'onyx' being claw or talon." He spoke, his voice smooth and relaxed as his fingers brushed over the board that announced the name of the creature within the glass. "It was also an excellent swimmer which it would use to its advantage while hunting." You listened to his every word as he spoke, grinning as he excitedly told you how many teeth it had and it's preferred techniques for capturing food before he moved you onto the next one.

"Oh these beauties have always been my favourite." You almost whispered, taking in the sight of the huge triceratops skull. You barely noticed Mycroft's hand shift from his pocket until you felt the heat of his palm against the small of your back, fingers squeezing slightly by your hip as he spoke.

"Mine too. Sherlock used to say they were boring and that we might as well have gone to the zoo to look at rhinos. He ended up spending 5 months trying to prove that the rhinos were descendants from the triceratops and then avoided me for 3 weeks when he realised there was no connection at all."

"That sounds about right. Though I can't imagine Sherlock enjoying it here very much anyway.." Mycroft began to guide you to a small bench just off the side to sit down, still giving you the view of the beautiful dinosaur bones.

"He didn't. When we were much younger he would kick off until Mummy and Father would tell us it's time to go and I had to go with them.. Then as we got a little older and Sherlock properly found his legs, he would simply run from the doors round to the science museum. Of course mummy and father had to follow him as he was so young, but one time I decided to stay here. They didn't realise I hadn't followed them until it was time to go home 5 hours later." Mycroft spoke quietly.

"Found his legs? That's at, what, four? Five? How young were you?"

"I was 9 the first time, I think." Now, Mycroft, you don't just 'think'; you know. Your hand moved to rest above his own on his knee, brushing your thumb fondly over his knuckles. "But it isn't all bad. Some of my best days as a child were spent here, and a lot of the staff were very kind and would teach me extra facts that weren't displayed. There was one gentleman who even gave me his own copies of some books that they had here. I'd wander the whole museum in time but I always found myself back here on this bench just.. watching. This room felt more like home than my very house sometimes. It was the room where I could escape the real world and find peace. Eventually Mummy, Father and Sherlock stopped bothering with the visits because Sherlock found the science museum boring after he'd prove them wrong on something each time, but I'd still pop back in on occasion without them.. Coming to think about it, I've never actually brought anybody here with me at all." You squeezed at his fingers and settled back into the bench.

"Well I am incredibly glad that I found out about your little interest, and I feel even more honoured that you let me come here with you." You beamed. And it was the truth. Evidently, this little museum meant much more to Mycroft than you could have ever imagined and it warmed your heart to know that he trusted you to see him nerd out over some bones.

"Eventually I used this very building as the scaffolding to build my mind palace. My files on Sherlock, very appropriately, are nestled in the human biology room. But most people's information is either stored in the entrance, where Dippy remains over Hope, might I add, or in a few of the rooms I find less interesting.." You didn't have to ask to know he was referencing 'that room with all the bloody rocks'. "I love most of the galleries too much to taint them with information on people that aren't important. The likes of Gregory and Doctor Watson now reside in Hintze Hall as the years have passed." His eyes remained focused in front of him, unblinking, as though he was wandering the very halls at that moment.

"And where.. where are my files?" You had to ask, really. Since he was on the subject anyway. "If you've put them in the marine reptiles room when you know I'm terrified of the ocean I shall never forgive you." Mycroft's hand flipped beneath yours so the pads of your fingers brushed before he blinked and looked over to you, a small smile on his face.

"Here." Oh. Well that's.. something. You shifted to give him a quick kiss on his cheek, knowing he wasn't overly fond of PDA and tugged him to stand.

"And on that note, I think we should go and grab some lunch before you make me cry in front of the dinosaurs."

---

After lunch, you both spent a few more hours walking from room to room (and of course circling round to the dinosaur gallery again) before you decided to call it a day at 4pm. Before departing, you headed towards the toilets that happened to be beside the little gift shop and you had a browse while Mycroft was occupied. Grinning, you picked up a deep blue plush triceratops and stroked a finger across its back. It was just small enough that, after purchasing, you could hide the little guy in the loose fabric of the sweatshirt you wore, acting innocent as you waited back outside near the wall. After going to the bathroom yourself, the pair of you headed outside where a car was waiting for you. Sliding in the back seat, you couldn't contain your little gift anymore.

"Surprise!" You laughed, producing the small toy from under your clothes and into the hands of the man beside you. He studied it briefly before beginning to laugh himself as he reached into his inner pocket and handed you the matching dinosaur, though purple in colour. "God, we're such children aren't we?" You noted as you swapped plushie companions, each of you brushing a finger on its nose as though it were a small pet. "I daren't think what your colleagues would say if they knew you were now the proud owner of a baby triceratops teddy that's.." You glanced at the tag. "..Suitable for children aged 12 months plus!"

"Probably nothing as bad as if they realised said triceratops was going to take proud placement on my desk at home." He beamed. "Thank you, this really does mean a great deal to me." You knew he wasn't just talking about the toy that rolled around his long fingers and you shifted to rest your head lightly on his shoulder.

"We can come back any time. I, for one, know I'll never get bored of looking through the galleries.. Or I'll never get bored of watching you light up as we walk through said galleries. Either or works, really." He hummed in response, his emotions slightly overwhelmed from the day and its revelations into his past. "Plus there were about 10 other little dinos in the shop and I've always been one to want a full collection.. so, if we pace ourselves, that's at least 10 more trips."

"13.. Although that could be tripled if we take the colour variations into account."

"Oh, of course! Can't half-arse a collection or it's just pointless."

"I concur."

"That's settled then. Almost 40 more trips to finish off our collection.. And thennnn we can move onto the figurines." Mycroft let out a laugh beside you and tilted to rest his head atop yours for the remainder of the journey home.

---

The evening between you was shared over a meal (where, as promised, a small toast was made to the memory of Sir Dippy) before Mycroft sat to finish the papers for Greg. Eventually you collapsed into bed at a relatively reasonable time, groaning at the throbbing in your legs from the day's adventure before finally slipping into rest.

---

The next day passed relatively quickly. The morning was spent visiting Greg in his office to drop off the papers before the pair of you took a small stroll through the streets of London. Eventually, Mycroft and yourself even got a text message from Sherlock giving a (albeit half-arsed) apology for his behaviour the day before and the rest of the day was spent in bliss. That was until exactly 17 minutes after you got back home when Mycroft's mobile began to ring. He swallowed deeply, showing you the caller ID of the person he had been dreading to speak to post-Eurus and answering.

"Ah, yes.. Hello, Mummy."

120 notes · View notes

theasstour · 4 years

Photo

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟑.𝟒𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞

A/N: Thank you to the lovelies who nominated Strange Tides, Baby Blue, and moi for the 1D Craft Awards 🌊🐚 If you have the time and feel like spreading some love, go vote for your fave fics and authors here ✨ ENJOYYY CHAPTER 5! x

Tuesday, 7 July

“I’d say you’re doing quite alright for someone who has just gotten into knitting,” Bessie said, looking at Y/N’s creation over the rim of her glasses. “What technique did your mother teach you again, sweets? ‘Cause you’re a natural.”

“Oh, I dunno,” Y/N answered honestly, taking her blue square back. “Are there different types of knitting styles?”

Bessie’s laugh was warm and joyous, looking out at Camila, Florence, and Barb, who smiled at Y/N. Though Y/N had been scared of being judged by these women for not knowing how to properly knit at first, there was nothing but kindness and appreciation in their eyes. It seemed they really were just happy to see the beginning of Y/N’s knitting journey. They had all been beyond helpful, taking their time and being patient with her as she learned the ins and outs of knitting. She was still not sure what she was making, but she was knitting a bunch of squares to start off, and she would see where to go from there.

“So,” Florence said, turning her attention back on the knitting in front of her. “What do you think of St Ives thus far, Y/N? Is it living up to your expectations?”

“You’ve been here a month now,” Bessie said, shaking her head as if she couldn’t quite believe it. And Y/N couldn’t believe it herself. Time had flown by so incredibly fast it did not seem quite real. It seemed like only yesterday she had checked in here and met Bessie, or when she ran into Harry and started their little thing. It just did not seem real that time had gone by this fast. In a month’s time, summer would almost be over and she would have to start thinking about checking out and finding out what to do next. Going back home to Winchester was out of the question, but she didn’t really have anywhere else to go.

Y/N took a deep breath, telling herself not to think about that now. Debating what to do after she checked out of The Roaming Crab Inn could be done at another time, not while she was knitting with four lovely ladies. For someone who had lived her whole life with a plan laid out for her near and far future, Y/N was awfully relaxed about the prospect of the chapter of her life that would start once she left St Ives in August.

“I love it here,” she answered truthfully, finding some red yarn so she could start knitting a red square. “I’ve met so many people while staying here, it’s been amazing.”

“It’s been fun to meet Harry’s family as well,” Barb said. “If your name comes up in conversation when we’re at the chess club, Jessa won’t shut up. She’s so proud Harry’s dating such a lovely lady.”

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up, both because she took pride in that compliment but also because she knew Jessa wouldn’t think of her like that when she and Harry “broke up” later.

“Speaking of people you’ve met, my son tells me you went to the pub with him, Harry, and their little group.” Florence looked at Y/N, smiling. “Did he invite you to his birthday this Saturday?”

“Yeah, Harry told me we were invited,” Y/N said.

“Dax and Harry have been close ever since Harry came to St Ives. He even slept at the lighthouse for close to a month after Harry’s father got lost at sea.”

Y/N stopped knitting. When she looked over at Florence again, the older woman was already knitting so she didn’t notice Y/N’s sudden interest. She looked over at Bessie who only gave Y/N a nod as to confirm what Florence had just said, and in that second Y/N was very happy Bessie knew her and Harry’s relationship was only pretend.

“The day they found the empty boat was absolutely horrible. All of St Ives in mourning. Remember it like it was yesterday,” Camila went on, sighing dramatically. “Devastating time.”

“Let’s not talk about that,” Bessie chimed in. “It is such a sad time to reminisce about.”

“Yes, no reason we should think about such things,” Barb went on. “I’m sure it’s a touchy subject for Y/N as well, seeing as Harry is so close to her.”

Y/N focused entirely on her knitting, not really wanting to say anything in regards to Harry’s dad. She knew he died, but she hadn’t really questioned how that happened. For some reason, Y/N had assumed he had been sick, but knowing something happened to Harry’s dad while he was at sea… she didn’t know how to feel. Was it worse to have a loved one be sick and know the end was inevitable and close, or to have them ripped suddenly and unexpectedly out of your life?

“I’m sorry for bringing the mood down, girls,” Florence said, letting a bright laugh escape her lips. “Maybe we need some tea to brighten up our mood some?”

“I think that’s a splendid idea,” Bessie said, getting up from her seat. “Y/N, dear, would you give me a helping hand?”

“Of course.”

Y/N got up and followed Bessie inside to the kitchen, the three others chattering away as the two started making a new batch black tea. Bessie busied herself with finding some mugs, her sugar, and milk, as Y/N just stood beside the kettle and waited for it to finish boiling. With her arms crossed, her mind wandered off to all those times Harry mentioned his dad and his death, not once had he mentioned he was sick, so Y/N didn’t know where she had gotten that idea from. She knew it was not something she should be speculating or thinking about, but right then, she could not help herself.

Instead of thinking about something so tragic, she forced herself to think about Dax’s birthday party the coming weekend. Harry had only mentioned it in passing yesterday, but Y/N was already looking forward to it. There wasn’t much else she did now anyway besides knit, read for the UCAT, and lie about being in a relationship. Throwing some partying into that mix seemed like a bit of fun.

Saturday, 11 July

“I’m about to do it,” Y/N said, eyes on her laptop screen in front of her. Her white summer dress blew a little in the wind from the open window beside her, but the breeze was welcomed, as it always was in Cornwall.

Harry looked up from where he was going through some bills on his couch, wearing his red knitted jumper along with a pair of short dungaree shorts. Y/N was sat on the other side of his tiny house in the windowsill beside his bed. It was big enough to fit her, her books, and laptop, it was kind of her spot now.

“I’m really about to do it,” Y/N repeated, more for her own sake than for Harry’s - who was a little confused and sat with his mouth open, waiting for her to elaborate – because she simply could not believe she was doing this.

“What?” Harry asked after a while, and when Y/N met his eyes, he blinked a few times as if readying himself for whatever she was about to say.

“Apply for the UCAT exam.”

Last week, Y/N had taken Harry up on his offer to study for her UCAT exam at his place. She came over Friday, and upon seeing her walking up to his house around 8:30, Harry walked toward her on the gravel path. She didn’t know why, but she liked that he did that instead of just standing stoic and just watching her. It made her almost feel urgently desired at his house when he did that.

“Hi,” Y/N greeted as they fell into step beside one another. “Report time?”

“Yeah, just walking around and checking everything.”

She smiled. “And so you walked over here to check on me?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

Y/N wanted to laugh, but Harry was looking at the gravel in front of him, lips sucked into his mouth as if telling himself to shut up. He walked her all the way into his house, telling her to make herself feel at home. She sat down by the round table and placed her books out before her, sighing a little to herself as she opened the first one to the page she’d left off on last time. Before going about his day of lightkeeper chores, he made her a cup of tea and told her to help herself to anything in the fridge. He left in a hurry to report, and Y/N didn’t see much of him till two hours later, when he came inside to look through some paperwork.

The rest of the week, she’d popped by almost every single day and then stayed for hours on end. Though she’d mostly been studying, she had also stayed a little longer just to hang out with Harry. She felt safe on Clodgy Point, with Harry, who, once she got him talking about something he found interesting, would talk someone’s ear off. It was so nice to hang out with someone her own age. Someone who would curse and who didn’t need to gossip all the time. There was something so relaxing about Harry’s presence and his little bungalow that attracted Y/N. She simply could not study in her own room anymore, and Harry didn’t seem to mind. He’d meet her on the gravel path and walk her to his house before he went off to report, every single day without fail. She always looked forward to seeing him there, a sight that made the moors around her seem less turbulent and the world a little more colourful.

Though she sat by the door the first two days, she ended up in the windowsill after a while. When Harry caught her there, he asked if her bum wouldn’t get numb from sitting there all day, to which Y/N jokingly said not to worry, she could just bring a cushion next time, though she always forgot. She didn’t mind though; she liked that windowsill so much that her sore arse didn’t bother her. It also seemed Harry liked that his windowsill was being used, because at one point, he brought his Super 8 camera out, taping her doing her work in the windowsill.

On Monday, something happened that took Y/N’s breath away. Harry walked into the house, zipping his mouth shut when their eyes met as if to tell her he didn’t intend on interrupting her. He made himself something to eat for lunch and sat by the round kitchen table, minding his own business and looking out of the window beside him every now and again for some sort of entertainment. Once he was done eating, he washed his plate up and then, instead of walking back out to work, he walked over to his piano. Y/N immediately sat up a bit straighter, resting her hands on her bent knee as she watched Harry open the piano chair, pull a notebook out, and then sit down once he closed it.

Harry’s hands hovered over the keys before he slowly started pressing down on them, producing the softest melody Y/N thought she might have ever heard. He moved along with the piece, feeling the rhythmic waves take over his body and guide him through the history that melody held. It was clear Harry had some sort of attachment to that piece. Y/N didn’t know how carefully musicians played, how much attention and care they gave to each of the pieces they performed, but there was something graceful and almost intimate about watching Harry perform that piece. Y/N simply could not put her finger on it, but she couldn’t take her eyes off him.

Once he was done playing that specific melody, about to start the next one, Y/N opened her mouth, “What’s that piece called?”

Harry looked at her over his shoulder, raising his eyebrows some as if he hadn’t heard her right.

“Is it well-known?”

“No, uhm…” He furrowed his brows some, looking at the dresser stood beside the piano where a few photos were placed. “I wrote it myself?”

“You did?”

“Yeah, it’s a few years old.”

Y/N couldn’t help her smile. “Does the piece have a title?”

Harry nodded slowly. “Saving Grace,” he explained. “It’s got a dual meaning.”

“Which is?”

“Well, I was 20 when Grace was born. Until then I hadn’t really been around babies, so it took some getting used to when Grace was around most of the time. It had only been my dad and me for a long time, then Jessa came into our lives, which ultimately brought Gracie.” Harry looked out the window Y/N sat in. “It had been a very… content life till then. Nothing spectacular, Dad and I really did love each other and were best friends since before Mum left us when I was 6. But…” He trailed off. “But then came Jessa and Grace, and they truly changed all that. They made us so happy.”

A warmness that was not due to the hot temperature outside, made its way like a wave down Y/N’s body.

“Grace became my little person, you know? Though I worked at St Ives Bakery and had friends, I still didn’t know what I wanted to really do with my life. I was about to apply to study music at uni, but… I dunno, I just didn’t. Grace became my purpose for a little while. I earned money so I could take her places and buy her ice cream, or I taught her how to walk, talk, and we did everything together.” Harry turned back to the piano, playing the first few notes slowly. “This melody came to me when I watched her walk without trouble around the moors outside, she was looking at flowers and she was so happy. The melody tries to capture that moment and how perfect that day was.” He stopped, glancing at the sheet in front of him. “She was two years old.”

“So, essentially, you try to capture feelings and moments in your music?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have any other pieces?”

Harry chuckled, looking over his shoulder at her. “You know, the reason I started playing was to help you concentrate. Piano music is great for that.”

“Sod my work, I want to know more about your music.”

“Oi!” Harry exclaimed, turning his body in her direction now. “I’ve never heard you say that word before! Never heard you speak like that!”

Y/N laughed, but persuaded Harry to play a few of his other pieces before he went back to work.

That Saturday when Y/N brought up the exam, Harry hadn’t played any piano. He sometimes would, both to calm himself down, but also to help Y/N concentrate. She would sometimes take breaks just to listen to him, but his playing really did help her focus. Harry was doing some of his work in the house that Saturday, probably to keep her company, but she was very happy he was there. She needed someone to talk this through with.

There was an instant pull to the edges of Harry’s lips, something that he didn’t have to think about, it was instinctive and genuine. A slight breath left his mouth, almost like something of a chuckle, a relief of sorts that made her all hot. He smiled and got up from the couch, a reason for his movements as if he moved a little easier now that he’d just heard that.

“Are you really?” he asked, taking his tea mug and nodding at Y/N’s beside her. She picked it up and handed it to him.

“I mean, I’ve been thinking about it for weeks, and I feel like it’s stupid to study for an exam if I’m never going to take it.”

“That makes sense, yeah.”

“So, I’m just gonna do it now.”

Harry put their mugs down, filling up the kettle before making another round. Y/N liked that he just assumed she wanted another cuppa. She liked the fact he made her this hot beverage that took a long time for someone to drink up. That he made her several a day. She really liked that.

“I’m thinking, you’ve been reading for weeks and you clearly know the material, you might as well,” Harry said.

“There’s just… I dunno…”

“What?”

“No.”

Harry was quiet, so when Y/N looked at him, he was already looking at her, waiting for her to continue. Both knew she wouldn’t hold back once she’d already started saying something.

“I’m scared I won’t show up.”

Harry frowned. “Why? That something is gonna come up?”

“No, that I’ll just oversleep on purpose or find any possible solution so I won’t have to go. Maybe my brain will refuse to revise the entire week before it, I tended to do that in school. When I have an opportunity to, I make things hard for myself.”

Harry plopped two sugars into her cuppa. “I won’t let that happen.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “How, you’re gonna carry me out of my room and to your van, then drive me to the exam?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

She laughed, looking back at the laptop in front of her as Harry walked over, putting the tea down beside her.

“Thanks,” she said.

“I think you should just do it.”

“I know I should, but… once I sign up, it’s all happening. It’s not just something I’m thinking about doing, it’s actually happening and there’s a date I gotta work toward.” She sighed. “It’s not just a dream anymore.”

“It stopped being ‘just a dream’ the second you bought those books,” Harry said, sipping his tea as Y/N looked up at him where he stood beside her. “When you started reading, you knew what you were doing and yet you did it anyway.”

She studied him for a second, meeting his eyes the second before she turned back to the laptop. “Guess you’re right.”

“I’m right.”

She flung her arm out, hitting him just across his knee. “Cocky.”

“No,” Harry giggled. “I’m correct. You should try being it sometime.”

“Tone it down!”

Harry laughed, walking back over to his paperwork again. He sat working for a bit longer, finishing his tea before he put everything back in the folder and walked back out of the house and to the lighthouse. When the front door slammed shut, it was like Y/N was slapped out of a sort of trance. She had just been looking at the UCAT website, mouse hovering over the ‘Register and Book’ button, mind somewhere else completely. She remembered what Harry said, how registering and taking this exam wouldn’t make this dream of hers reality all of a sudden, she had done that herself when she started deliberately revising for the UCAT.

She clicked the button and made herself a new user on the website. Reading through everything carefully, Y/N felt her heart picking up speed. It was dawning on her that she was really doing this, despite everything, she was finally registering to take the test. The next few minutes as she took all of this in, she completely forgot where she was. All she knew was the information being fed to her. The wind, the sun, the fly flying around her head, nor whatever Harry was doing was any of her concern. She focused entirely on registering and booking a date. A fee of £75 had to be paid, and though Y/N would never have thought about paying that kind of money before, she hesitated now.

She didn’t have a job, her parents weren’t providing for her anymore because… well, she wasn’t talking to them, so she only had the money on her one card left. Though she was sure she could afford the test fee, there would come a time when she couldn’t. Money had never been a problem until now. This hadn’t been something she thought about before, it hadn’t been a problem then because her parents were filthy rich, but she recognised this now. However, this test had been on her mind for years and it was something she really wanted to do, so spending money on it wasn’t something she needed to feel guilty about. Y/N paid the fee and sat there staring at her screen as a ‘Thanks for your booking’ popped up on her screen. Her test was September 10th. That was in two months. In two months she would be taking the UCAT.

She got up from the windowsill, shaking her clammy hands to dry them some, a shaky breath leaving her parted lips as her heart galloped inside her chest. It didn’t feel real. None of it felt real. She was doing the UCAT exam. This was her first big step into dentistry. She was actually doing what she had been dreaming of doing for years now.

She had no idea what made her do it but she walked out of the house, instinctively walking towards the lighthouse. Harry was already halfway to the cottage from the lighthouse, halting a little at Y/N’s abrupt exit. She stopped when she saw him.

“I did it.”

Those three words took a few seconds for Harry to comprehend, but when he did, he gave her the biggest grin she’d ever seen on his face. His eyes completely disappeared behind his cheekbones, crinkles appearing beside them, and his crooked smile was accompanied with his brilliant dimples that breathed light and meaning into every situation they were present in. The sight of it made her own appear and she put a hand over her chest, feeling her heart still going hard against her ribcage. Harry must have not thought a lot of it, because he nearly opened his arms, but they quickly fell to his side. Next, he went to give her a high five, but that almost seemed inappropriate because it was such a huge moment to Y/N.

But Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about the way Harry had opened his arms for her just now. Couldn’t stop thinking about how he wanted her close like that to congratulate her on what she’d just done. And, the part of her that hadn’t really experienced someone’s noticeable pride in her like this before, wouldn’t mind at all. That’s why she ran towards him, and the two seconds Harry had to prepare, Y/N both saw the visible shock at her sprinting for him, but also a sort of jubilation like it was an honour. Y/N threw her arms around him and Harry quickly wrapped her in his, a breath of relief skimming her neck and making goosebumps run through her entire body. She laughed as Harry picked her off the ground, groaning in triumph at the news of her finally having signed up for the UCAT.

She leaned her head against his, smelling that same perfume on him that she remembered smelling when she wore his knitted jumper a few weeks ago. Her theory had also been right: Harry was an amazing hugger. His grip was tight and she was sure he closed his eyes, really immersing himself completely in the person he was embracing. Fingers spread out across her back, the tips of one just touching her shoulder blade and the other on her waist, squeezing her slightly for a few seconds before letting her down again.

“That’s amazing, Y/N,” Harry said, and Y/N tightened her grip.

When they finally let go of one another, Harry ran inside and came back some seconds later holding his camera, said he needed to document this. Y/N did a few poses that made Harry laugh, then proceeding to run out into the field beyond the lighthouse. She felt absolutely ecstatic as she ran around, grinning and jumping, her arms held up high and her heart soaring. After all this time, she was finally pursuing this. If she was able to do something that terrified and excited her like this, then what else could she do? Part of her felt like she could do anything now.

Porthgwidden Beach was like Harry described it: small. Once Harry and Y/N arrived at the tiny car park above the beach, Y/N stopped for a moment to take in the beach that wasn’t even a fraction of what the other two major beaches of St Ives were. Some Tiësto song was playing somewhere and the beach was crowded, all guests of Dax’s birthday party. The Porthgwidden Beach Café seemed to have been booked for the occasion as well, people around their age all sitting grouped around the table with their bottles and cups. No one seemed to be going crazy on their alcohol, which reassured Y/N some because it had been a while since she had been drunk, a glass or two of anything would make her very lightheaded and giggly. She had brought with her a bottle of wine in her tote bag, Harry seemed to be relying on his mates having brought drinks. If not, Y/N wouldn’t mind sharing the rest of hers with him.

Y/N had left Harry’s place not long after she signed up for the UCAT so she could get ready for Dax’s birthday party in her own room. She wore a dark green column midi skirt along with a white tee shirt and some short heels that she regretted wearing the second her and Harry stepped out into the sand. He looked over his shoulder at her once he noticed her struggling a bit, offering his hand for her to hold so she could take her heels off. While she did that, she took the liberty to study him again. His outfit was simple, yet effortlessly hot. High waisted mid wash denim jeans, a baggy black tee shirt tucked into them, along with some white socks and black Converse. Y/N had a theory Harry would end up taking his own shoes off by the end of the night too.

The two had met on Island Street where they knew none of the other partygoers would venture. That way, people would’ve seen them walk together all the way to the party, assuming they must’ve spent time at Harry’s place before coming here. They had discussed this plan over a last cuppa tea before Y/N left earlier that day, Harry had seemed very happy with himself for coming up with that one. And as they stood there, Y/N holding his hand while taking her shoes off, they heard some loud whistles followed by a “There they are!”

Looking over, they saw the birthday boy making his way over, arms spread wide and the biggest grin on his face. “My boyo!”

“Dax, not now-“

But the man didn’t listen. He hugged Harry to him, causing Harry to take a few steps, resulting in Y/N losing her balance. With a squeal, Y/N almost fell face first into the sand again, but Harry was fast to bring one hand under her armpit and the other to her hip. He dragged her toward him, her torso flat against his. She saw Harry’s eyes on her face in her peripheral vision, felt his breath on her cheek.

“Oi!” Dax laughed. “Sorry ‘bout that, Y/N. Got a bit carried away seeing this hunk.” Dax put a hand on Harry’s shoulder, causing Harry to jump right out of his trance and let go of Y/N, as if couples didn’t normally embrace each other like this without hesitation.

“Happy birthday, Dax,” Y/N smiled before picking up her shoe, shoving the pair into her tote bag along with her cardigan and Harry’s red knitted jumper.

“Happy birthday, mate,” Harry said.

“You know, I expected you to be the first one here.” Dax crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at Harry.

Harry furrowed his brows at Dax. “What do you mean?”

“Well, isn’t your best friend’s birthday important to you?”

Harry was quiet for a second. “Oh, my word, Dax.”

“I’m just a joke to you.”

“You sure are.”

“Look who it is!” Ellie called, grinning as her and the rest of Harry’s little gang made their way over. “You made it!”

“We were starting to think you two wouldn’t come,” Amir said, his hair in the most effortlessly pretty bun at the top of his head. “Too busy?” Amir wiggled his eyebrows.

“You’re too caught up in people’s sex lives for it to be normal, mate,” Harry said, taking the cup Fatima offered him. “Cheers.”

Something about Harry referring to him and Y/N’s sex life made Y/N’s cheeks feel awfully hot. Even though their joined sex life was non-existent, it still got to her. Maybe it was the way Harry always dodged those questions so the two wouldn’t have to answer any awkward queries they had absolutely no idea about. She didn’t know, but she rummaged through her bag so people wouldn’t see how flustered she suddenly got.

“Just trying to make conversation,” Amir said.

“Well, don’t,” Jo chimed in, their smile mocking and Amir only huffed in response.

“By the way!” Dax exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. “We’re going Terraland next week, you coming this year, Y/N?”

Y/N raised her eyebrows in question. “What’s Terraland?”

“Theme park in Helston, we go every year towards the end of the summer vacation,” Jo explained. “Harry here-“ They gestured at the man standing beside Y/N. “-Doesn’t like Terraland.”

“I do,” Harry protested. “I like laying by the pool and not doing shit. I don’t particularly like it when you force me on rollercoasters.”

Y/N smiled. “I’ll come if Harry decides to.”

“Brill! All of us are coming, maybe a few others,” Amir said.

“So, it’s like an adventure park with rollercoasters and such?” Y/N asked

“That and pools, very much the kind of thing you visit when you’re on vacation in, like, Spain,” Harry explained. “But it’s in Cornwall.”

“Good for a group of grown up kids, ey?” Dax grinned, clapping his hands together.

“Come, Y/N, babe.” Ellie linked her arm with Y/N’s, taking Y/N off guard, but she didn’t stop Ellie. She looked at their arms and smiled a little. “Let’s get you a cup so we can get this party started.”

“Love your skirt, by the way,” Fatima smiled as they reached a table with tons of cups and napkins.

“Ahh, thank you. Haven’t worn it in a while, so I felt it was fitting to do so today.” Y/N glanced down at her skirt, running her hand over it before reaching for a cup.

“Ellie and I were saying the other day that you’ve got such a sophisticated sense of style, you need to take us shopping.”

“Could use a few pointers,” Ellie agreed, watching Y/N as she poured herself a glass of wine.

“Really?” Y/N screwed the cork shut before putting the bottle away, smiling at the two girls. “I mean, it’s not that good-“

“-Out of respect for what Harry said, I will stop you before you discredit yourself,” Ellie smiled back.

Y/N laughed. “What about respect for me? Respect me wanting to discredit myself for having a mediocre clothing style.”

Both Fatima and Ellie joined in on the laughing and the three girls walked away from the table so they could hang out by themselves. Though St Ives had around 11,000 inhabitants, Y/N was sure a lot of the guests weren’t locals. Maybe friends from University or friends-of-friends, everything to get a good party going. Judging by what Fatima and Ellie told Y/N, this was an annual thing. Dax Rose held a massive birthday party and absolutely everyone was invited. Bring your own alcohol, bring a friend, and bring a smile, and you were welcomed with open arms. People were sitting in the sand or by the café, others were just standing around, some were dancing, and a group was also taking a swim and joking around in the water. Y/N genuinely liked the atmosphere; it was just really freeing and nice. People wore whatever they wanted, laughter could be heard everywhere, and it just seemed like everyone wanted to have a good time.

Though anyone could come join the party – something that made her look around her a few too many times -, there were still enough people there to notice something suspicious going on.

Fatima, Ellie, and Y/N stood just talking for a while. It was really nice to talk to some girls her own age again, she couldn’t remember the last time she had done that. She had some good friends at school but once they had gone off to University or moved away from Winchester, she fell out of touch with most of them. Y/N knew it wasn’t personal, she quite liked the fact her friends had acquired new lives for themselves, being happier and more fulfilled. But she had missed just standing around chatting nonsense. The conversation didn’t hold much significance, there wasn’t much crucial information going around, or any sort of seriousness attached to it, just some mates having a chat. Y/N found herself wondering if Fatima and Ellie would come if she asked them out for lunch one day.

“I saw this documentary the other day, it’s on iPlayer,” Ellie said. “It was super interesting and disturbing.”

“Oh?” Y/N said, tipsy at this point and just holding the cup of wine in her hand, not wanting to drink more in case it would make her dizzy and very giggly.

“Yeah, it was basically about all these people who committed gruesome murders in the UK, and who go free now.”

Y/N looked up from her cup with wide eyes and at Ellie as Fatima gasped.

“Yeah, I can’t remember what it was called…” As Ellie started thinking, a shadow appeared beside Y/N and she jumped. The tall red-haired man standing beside Y/N only smiled at her, holding a hands up to indicate he was friendly.

Fatima clicked her tongue. “Are you trying to give her a heart attack, Cam?”

“No, I’m sorry, darl,” the man said, looking at Y/N as he held a hand out for her to shake. “Just saw an unfamiliar face and thought I’d introduce myself, is all. I’m Cameron.”

Y/N took a huge breath, meeting Ellie’s eyes before looking at Cameron and shaking his hand. “Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he mused under his breath, nodding his head as his hand fell to his side again. “Haven’t seen you around here before, Y/N.”

“I’ve only been here a month now.”

“Too bad we didn’t meet earlier, then.”

Y/N’s eyes widened a bit, the compliment taking her off guard. She only chuckled some, wrapping both her hands around her cup as she looked down at the liquid in it.

“When did you come back, Cam?” Ellie asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Two weeks ago. Are you on vacation here then, Y/N?” Cameron didn’t even spare Ellie a look, his undivided attention on Y/N as she continued to stare at her drink.

But suddenly a pair of black Converse appeared beside her bare feet. She felt a hand on her lower back, a warm and comforting pressure that slowly trailed its way to her waist, wrapping his fingers around her curves and bringing her toward him. Her figure fell against his, fitting against his side as if they’d done this before.

“That’s my girlfriend you’re trying to pull, Cam,” Harry said, his voice steady and a little darker than normal. Maybe it was the effect of the alcohol he had drunk this far or it being late, Y/N didn’t know, but she knew she liked it.

Cameron was quiet for a second. “Your girlfriend? Mate, you got a girlfriend?”

“This is her,” Harry continued.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Haz.”

“Don’t apologise to me, apologise to my girlfriend.”

Cameron smiled, as if he couldn’t believe Harry, but he met Y/N’s eyes. “I apologise, I didn’t know.”

Y/N nodded, not really knowing what else to say or do. Cameron looked at the other three, saying a quick goodbye before buggering off. As he disappeared, Harry’s hand slid back around her waist as he came to stand in front of Y/N. She felt his touch along her forearm, rough fingers caressing her with such sensitivity as if he was afraid of crossing a line. Whenever he touched her like this, she could tell by the rough skin of his hands that he wasn’t used to being gentle like this; wasn’t used to being careful when touching someone else. His work made him have rough skin and maybe even a rough touch, but he was always so incredibly cautious when he reached for Y/N.

He slid his hand into hers, squeezing her fingers as she wrapped them around him. Their eyes met and upon seeing him in front of her, seeing him this close, she felt her eyes widen a bit. Though the entire reason why he was doing this was because there were people around watching them, it still felt like everyone was intruding on a special moment between the two of them.

“You okay? Saw he made you jump a bit,” Harry said, hooded and glassy eyes searching her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just came up out of nowhere,” Y/N answered, offering a smile because she knew Harry’s concern was genuine.

Y/N wasn’t sure if Ellie or Fatima noticed Harry’s slight hesitance because by the sound of it, they were chatting amongst themselves, but Y/N did. Harry leaned in, eyes on hers till he closed them. Every single hair on Y/N’s body shot up as Harry pressed his lips gently against her cheek. He was covering her view of Ellie and Fatima, so the two couldn’t see the immediate shock on Y/N’s face. Their conversation halted, she was aware of that, but all her attention was focused on Harry’s lips and how hot her entire body got in the matter of a second. She closed her eyes, eyelashes brushing his skin. Harry pulled away, resting the right side of his forehead against her left for a few seconds. She wondered if he could feel how hard her heart was beating, how clammy her hands were. Could he tell she wanted to reach for his neck and hold him there, but she was carrying her cup and her other hand was already holding his? Could he feel her breaths on his neck like she could feel his? Did he want to stay like that, safe in each other’s company and unbothered by everyone else, for the rest of the night?

“I’m sure there are taxis driving about town if you two wanna go home,” Ellie said, and Fatima cursed her right away.

Harry took a step away from Y/N, clearing his throat as a familiar redness came to his cheeks. His hand was about to fall away from hers, but she gripped his harder, not ready to let go yet. He gave Fatima and Ellie a tight-lipped smile before meeting Y/N’s eyes again, the muscles in his face relaxing.

“El, I need a refill,” Fatima said, and though Y/N couldn’t read their faces yet, she could kind of tell what that meant.

“Let’s go get you a drink then. See you two in a bit.” Ellie and Fatima walked off, falling into conversation right away.

Harry made sure they were completely alone, that no one was eavesdropping before he said lowly, “Sorry if that was too much, I just… I just thought it’d look good, you know? To kiss my girlfriend- my pretend girlfriend around other people just to underline that we are… you know…”

Y/N nodded, biting her lips together as she watched Harry continue to try and find his words.

“Also, sorry if you wanted to chat to Cameron, I’m… I don’t want this to get in the way-“

“-I didn’t. I don’t.”

Silence stretched on, eyes on one another as the party continued around them. They didn’t have any regard for it as they kept their attention on one another. Y/N had answered so quickly and so honestly that it made her nervous when Harry didn’t say anything. Because it was true that she didn’t want to talk to Cameron, she didn’t know who he was and would probably never see him again. But she knew who Harry was, and she wanted to see him all the time. There was a comfort in his presence that settled over her like a warm, safe blanket. She liked being around him. She didn’t want to be near Cameron or anyone else.

“Do you think people think we’re a couple right now? Are we believable? Is this believable?” Harry mumbled.

Y/N giggled. “Well, you just kissed my cheek out of nowhere, I’d hope it’s somewhat believable and that they think we’re a couple.”

Harry laughed, looking down at their hands. “Yeah, it’s kind of… it’s kind of easy, isn’t it?”

Y/N frowned. “What is?”

“Being like this with you. I might feel like a right idiot when I take your hand or kiss your cheek, but you don’t make me feel like one.”

She smiled.

“It’s natural. Not that… that being in a relationship with you and acting like this is natural, I didn’t mean it like that, but it’s-“ He stopped himself looking up at her again as he bit his bottom lip, shrugging slightly. “-It’s like joking about with a friend and just having fun, feeling comfortable.”

“Yeah?”

“You know… I hope I don’t sound like a melt and I’m probably only able to say this ‘cause I’m a tad tipsy,” Harry said, and Y/N giggled. “But you’ve become one of my best friends. If not best friend, a very good one. Like… dunno, I can talk to you about anything, I don’t feel weird being silent around you, or saying or doing stuff that is weird, and I-I feel like you might feel the same way about me. At least I hope so.”

Her smile widened. “I do.”

He let out a small breath and Y/N chuckled.

“It’s sad that when this ends it’ll look weird if we remain friends, won’t it?” Y/N hated that she was thinking and talking about a time in the future they both knew was coming, but avoided talking about at all costs.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, do exes stay friends without it being weird to a degree? If you start dating someone for example, will our friends expect us to act a certain way, and if they do and we contradict their theory, will that make them suspicious of us?”

Harry furrowed his brows a little.

“I want to hang out with you and it’s sad to think that in August, we might have to part ways and never talk again ‘cause it’ll look… weird. Dunno, I haven’t really gone through this before.”

Harry let out a breathy chuckle. “Neither have I.”

Y/N laughed.

“I mean, I’ve gone through a break-up, but not like this.”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, I haven’t talked to my ex since it happened.”

They were quiet for a moment as Harry digested Y/N’s choice of words. “You haven’t talked to your ex since you broke up either? Like, at all?”

“He, uhm, he’s sent me texts, but I don’t want to talk to him.”

Harry must have noticed how little Y/N wanted to talk about her ex, because he looked down at their hands again and let their conversation end there. Y/N held her cup out for him and Harry took it, looking at it. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking if she wanted any more of it, but she shook her head. He poured it out in the sand.

“You’re enjoying yourself?” Harry asked after a little while, wiping something off the corners of his mouth with his free index and thumb.

“The party?” Y/N met Harry’s eyes and then searched for Ellie and Fatima, she’d have to find them later. “Yeah, it’s nice. I like your friends.”

“There are a couple more who want me to introduce you, so we’ll have to do that later if it’s okay.”

“Of course.”

Harry’s eyes fell to the now empty cup. “And are you enjoying yourself in St Ives?”

Y/N smiled. “I am, it’s fun.” As she laid extra pressure on the last word, Harry looked up and as she raised her eyebrows, he knew she was referring to them and their fake relationship. He chuckled and Y/N watched him.

“Is it everything you hoped it’d be?”

She was unsure what he was referring to, but she said, “More.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she answered, folding her hands.

“So, you’re… you’re staying?” Pause. “Right?”

Confused, Y/N furrowed her brows at Harry, studying his face to try and find some sort of explanation to that utterance. She slowly opened her mouth, and said, “Staying?”

“Here.”

“On the beach?”

“No.”

“In St Ives?”

Something that could be interpreted as a nod happened, but no words left Harry’s lips. Instead, he continued to look at her, eyes searching her face as if he could find her answer somewhere there. A slight breeze blew past them, making a curl come loose and hang in front of Harry’s eye. He quickly pushed it away, not letting anything prevent him from seeing Y/N fully as she realised what Harry meant. Y/N felt his fingers brush her arm on their way down.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Harry didn’t say anything or nod this time around. Their eyes didn’t waver, looking at each other and not daring to look away. Y/N didn’t register till then how close they were standing. When the wind blew from behind Harry, she smelled his familiar scent and it made something inside her flutter. It was instinctive to look down at his lips, just as instinctive to look up and feel her breath hitch somewhere in her throat as she saw his lips part. Unapologetically, Harry’s eyes did the same that Y/N’s had done just a few seconds prior. A fire-hot shiver ran up her spine as he glanced at her lips, taking a step forward so that their hands rested against one another. Y/N wanted to look at his lips again, but she simply could not look away from his eyes. He was so close and she didn’t want to ruin it, didn’t want to look away.

“Do you think we’re believable now?” Harry whispered, his voice hoarse.

Y/N couldn’t bring herself to answer, she was waiting for something unspeakable; something that couldn’t be put into word for fear of the reality of those words being too raw, too true. She felt his curl against her forehead. His breath on her nose. Her body prickling with anticipation and confusion, unable to properly decipher if what was going on was all part of the show or if this was genuine. Harry was too respectable to make a move, and Y/N was too perplexed to do anything. If she kissed him, how would he feel? Would he take it as her being genuinely interested in him, or that they were just doing it to seem like a genuine couple? And if she kissed him, would she interpret it as her genuinely fancying him, or would she do it just to feed into their façade?

Before she could think about anything else, someone shouted something above the music and everyone else talking. It seemed to have caught quite a few people’s attention, because the volume on the beach lowered considerably. Harry tore his eyes away from Y/N and looked in the direction of the commotion. Y/N did as well, craning her neck to see beyond the group of people that were hugging and crowding what looked to be a new guest. Harry froze in front of Y/N and she looked at him, then back at the group.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“My…” Harry mumbled, pausing for some seconds. “Emilia.”

Y/N looked back at Harry. “Emilia?”

Harry nodded.

“Your ex?”

“The one who lived in Munich for two years, yeah.” Harry ran a hand through his hair before he met Y/N’s eyes. “I haven’t seen her since she came back, think she came back sometime last week.”

“Do you want to go say hi?”

“I…” Harry glanced in Emilia’s direction again, clearly thinking it over thoroughly. “I mean… yes, but… she’d meet you as well. She’d have to.”

“Why?”

“’Cause Dax won’t be able to keep himself from bringing up the fact that I have a new girlfriend. Pretend girlfriend, but… you know…”

Y/N nodded.

“If she knows I’m here and I’m with my new girlfriend, she’s gonna wanna meet you.”

She inhaled sharply. “Why would she want to meet the person you’re supposedly being intimate with now?”

Harry’s eyes grew wide for a single second before he composed himself, blinking himself back to reason. “Dunno. Emilia is very sociable. Just like you.”

“But she’d meet the person you’re with now, I don’t see why she’d want to meet them.”

“Maybe she’s happy for me, maybe she wants to meet someone who supposedly makes me happy,” Harry offered, shrugging his shoulders.

Y/N stared at him for a few seconds. “I know you said she didn’t want to be with you ‘cause it affected her mental health, and I get that, but leaving you when you were at your lowest is still an awful thing to do.”

Harry glanced at Y/N.

“And then not talking to you for two years after just sodding off to Munich. She doesn’t know what you’ve been through since then, do you think she’s gonna care now?”

Harry furrowed his brows. “Y/N, I loved Emilia.”

“I’m aware, but the people we love don’t have to love us back the same way we love them. One part always ends up loving more, feeling more, doing more. We can’t choose how much we love someone, and we don’t have a say in how they love us, but the fact of the matter is that if you love someone, you act like it. You let them know.”

Harry didn’t say anything, he just bit the inside of his cheek and continued to look at Y/N.

“I’m fully aware you loved Emilia, probably still do, but it doesn’t sit right with me that she just removed herself like that completely. You’re not a toxic person, you were just going through a rough time.”

“Harry!” Amir shouted, waving Harry and Y/N over. “Harry, mate!”

Harry watched Y/N for a few more seconds, probably either debating what she’d just said or losing every shred of respect he had for her, Y/N didn’t know. He nodded in the direction of everyone and the two started walking there, strolling the distance in silence. She didn’t know how she was supposed to interpret said silence, if it was a good kind or if he just didn’t want to talk to her for the rest of the night because he had taken offense to what she’d said.

When they reached the group, they made space for Harry and Y/N, and the first thing Y/N noticed was the brunette standing on the opposite side to the circle from them. Her blue eyes lit up when she saw Harry and she smiled at him instantly, clearly happy to see him after two years of no contact.

“Hi,” she exclaimed, crossing the circle, and giving Harry a hug. “It’s so good to see you again.”

“Yeah, you too,” Harry said. “How was Munich?”

“Amazing, I’m moving there permanently after University, I’m sure.” Emilia stepped away from Harry and immediately, her eyes fell on Y/N. “And this must be the girlfriend.”

Harry and Y/N’s eyes met, Harry raising his eyebrows in a quick “told you so”, which made Y/N smile some before turning back to Emilia.

“Yes, I guess I am. And you’re the ex.”

Harry shifted uncomfortably, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he looked from Y/N to Emilia and back again. It was evident that the rest of the group, and quite a few others as well, were watching this interaction with keen interest. They were probably waiting for one of them to start a fight and the other one to feed into it, something Harry would step in to stop and take sides, which would ultimately just end badly. It was clearly something a lot of people thought would be great entertainment. But Y/N kept her cool, not wanting to sound passive aggressive or make Harry uncomfortable. Though she was not impressed with Emilia’s past actions, she wasn’t about to judge her solely on them. Y/N hoped she was right not to.

“I am, it’s been so long since I’ve seen Harry.” Emilia looked back at Harry, considerably smaller than him, looking up at him through her lashes. “That rain check you were talking about, you could make up for it by walking me over to get a cup?”

Y/N looked at Harry, about to open her mouth and ask what rain check Emilia was talking about, but she realised it was none of her business. And questioning Harry like this in front of everyone would just feed into everything everyone wanted. So, Y/N just crossed her arms over her chest.

“Actually, we’re about to leave,” Harry said, giving Emilia a small smile.

Emilia pouted. “Really? It’ll only take you a minute.”

Harry opened his mouth to inhale hugely, looking over at Y/N who hoped he could tell she didn’t like this. But Harry met Emilia’s eyes again, taking a step back and Emilia grinned as the two started walking towards the table in the middle of the beach with all the cups. Y/N watched them, how easily they fell into conversation and how eager Emilia was to talk to Harry again. While witnessing this, Y/N kept reminding herself of what Harry had said earlier, about her becoming one of his closest friends. She hoped repeating that moment to herself would prevent her from getting hurt and sad and angry, but it didn’t. When turning back toward the gang, she realised both Ellie and Dax were watching Harry and Emilia as well. And upon taking a look around, she realised Jo, Amir, and Fatima were as well. Y/N didn’t know for what purpose, but if Dax’s tense jaw was any indicator, it couldn’t have been for a particularly good reason.

Why would Harry do that? Though Y/N wasn’t in a relationship with him, it was still embarrassing for her to have to stand there and wait for him. She felt ridiculous when Fatima met her eyes again, giving her an apologetic smile, one Y/N – Harry’s fake girlfriend – didn’t deserve, but she appreciated it nevertheless. Because despite everything, this hurt. She dug her nails into her upper arms as she stood there, mad at Harry for the first time ever. Though it had been gormless of Emilia to ask in the first place, Harry hadn’t really needed much persuasion.

As Emilia and Harry’s voices got louder, the gang started up a light conversation that Y/N pretended to be part of. She only gave Harry a slight glance before looking back at Dax who was talking, the guy not giving the returning two any of his attention either. Y/N wondered if Dax thought the same way about Emilia’s behaviour as she did, but then again, it wasn’t like Y/N could take Dax aside and ask him that. If Y/N sought Dax out to talk about Harry’s ex, it wouldn’t look good.

“Ready to leave?” Y/N asked, reaching into her tote bag for her cardigan. Some of her passive aggressiveness was detectable in her voice, she hoped no other than Harry picked up on it. She was still tipsy so she blamed her incapability to hold back on that.

“Yeah,” Harry said, standing very still as he watched Y/N put her cardigan on. Once it was on, she smiled at everyone, and then looked at Harry as he directed a “See ya, yeah?” at everyone. Though Dax was visibly sad the two were leaving, he seemed to know why they were bailing because he didn’t ask them why or stop them. Y/N put her shoes back on and the two started on their way back up the hill that led to the car park.

It was unexpected when Harry reached for her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers so slowly and so deliberately that she felt it in every single one of her cells. Though it was nice to feel him there, she had to bite her lip from saying anything as they walked up Burrow Road. The second they were out of sight and alone, Y/N let go of his hand. This wasn’t something Harry would’ve usually paid much attention had he not heard her passive aggression just a few moments earlier.

“Is it Emilia?” Harry asked.

It was stupid how the only time Harry managed to be blunt and upfront was when he knew he was in trouble or if someone was annoyed with him. At least Y/N thought so.

She straightened her back, wrapping her cardigan tighter around herself. “What about Emilia?”

“Is that why you’re all… mad? Dunno if mad is the best word.”

“Think it describes how I’m feeling perfectly,” Y/N said. “’Cause I’d say I’m mad with a dash of disappointed.”

Harry looked over at her, frowning again. “Why?”

“Why am I mad you walked over there with Emilia?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders exaggeratingly. “Call it intuition, call it paranoia, call it whatever you bloody want, but I think she wants you back now that you’re not broken up about your Dad anymore.”

Harry took a few seconds to say, “I’ll call that stupidity.”

The laugh that left Y/N was anything but friendly and warm. “Fine. Do whatever you want.”

“Why are you so mad about this anyway? It’s not like we’re…” Harry stopped himself, looking over at Y/N who refused to look at him. “It’s not like we’re a couple.”

“It’s still embarrassing. I was left standing there while my boyfriend walked off with his ex. You don’t even want to admit that what you did was stupid.”

“’Cause it’s not, we just walked down to that table so she could get herself a cup.”

Y/N sighed, running her hands over her face. “Yes, it’s an innocent act and I probably have no right to act like this, but I’m being a friend. I’m trying to look out for you.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

“Being a friend, looking out for me?”

Y/N looked at him, seeing his set jaw and piercing eyes. “Why wouldn’t I look out for you?”

“Right now you just seem mad I hung out with my ex.”

She glanced away again, so frustrated with him that she felt like screaming. They reached Back Road, Y/N walking straight ahead to take the quickest way back to the Inn, Harry was turning right to Clodgy. “Interpret it any way you want, Harry. I’m being truthful when I tell you I just want what’s best for you.”

There was a pause as Harry watched Y/N cross the road. “You’re just gonna leave like that? You don’t wanna talk it out?”

“You don’t understand where I’m coming from, Harry!” Y/N exclaimed as she faced him, turning her back on the dark alleyway behind her. “What’s the point?!”

“Y/N, it’s not like I’m making out with Emilia in front of everyone!”

“I know, but that small act of just walking down there has a lot of meaning! She wants to make up for lost time!”

“You’re just reading too much into this!”

“And you think the best of people who hurt you!”

“She left for her own good, don’t blame her for that!”

“I’m not! I just think it’s odd to not check up on you in those two years following your breakup when you were clearly having a tough time when she left!”

“Oh, my days, Y/N.” Harry ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

“I know you want to see the best in everyone, but I’ve experienced people fucking me over ‘cause I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Multiple times. I’m not doing that again, I’m-I’m just not. And I don’t want to watch that same thing happen to you.”

Harry blinked when Y/N cursed, but quickly regained himself. “I can take care of myself!”

“I’m just being a friend and looking out for you, I’m sorry if-“

“-And what if I don’t want you to look out for me as a friend?!”

Y/N was about to answer, but she felt something brush against her back and then a figure moving out of the dark alleyway behind her. Her heart skipped a beat and the next thing she knew, she felt it in her throat. She jumped out of the way, stepping just in the crack between two cobblestones and stumbling away from the stranger. The man looked at Y/N as she regained her balance, about to reach his hand out to help her when Harry rushed across the road. Y/N managed herself, but she took another step away from the stranger who genuinely looked baffled as to what had just happened. Y/N put a hand over her heart, feeling it beating furiously. Calm down, calm down, calm down, she told herself, feeling safer the second Harry put a hand to her upper arm.

“You alright, miss?” the man asked, looking at Harry who was standing beside Y/N, making sure she was okay.

“Sorry,” Y/N said, doing her best to give him a smile. “I’m just a bit jumpy. And a tad drunk.”

He laughed joyously before continuing on his way, and the second he turned away, Y/N’s face fell. Harry noticed and turned her to face him, squeezing her shoulders so she’d look at him. She balled her hands into fists as she felt her heart beating hard, calming down from the sudden rush of adrenaline.

“You’re okay,” he said, recognising her reaction from that first time she read to him in the grass beside the lighthouse.

Y/N nodded, meeting Harry’s eyes and telling herself it was all fine. She would be fine. Harry was here and nothing would happen to her while he was here. She continued to look at him till she was calmer, but the thought of walking down that dark alleyway now made her want to hurl. However, she didn’t have any other place to walk and she had to get back somehow. Maybe she could call Bessie and talk to her, or maybe she could find another and maybe longer route back. But then she’d be out in the open longer than she initially wanted to.

“Have you always been like that?” Harry asked, the question curious and without any hint of judgement.

“Like what?”

“Paranoid.”

Y/N smiled a little as if that would brighten the mood that had fallen considerably. Slowly, she nodded, averting her eyes from Harry’s. “I like being prepared for anything, for any possible outcome.”

Harry didn’t remove his hands from where they rested on her shoulders.

“So, I either make them up, or if something happens unexpectedly, my brain does this thing where it tells me that the worst possible thing is happening, and I need to escape.”

“What’s the worst possible thing that can happen?”

“In any scenario?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N watched as someone turned every light in their flat off, wishing she was in her bed right now. “That my Dad finds me.”

Harry stayed quiet.

“He terrifies me. Always has. I know he won’t hurt me, but… he’s a bad man, Harry. A very bad man.”

“He won’t come here, Y/N. You’re safe in St Ives.”

Some part of her laughed at that, but when she met his eyes, she knew he genuinely meant it. If Harry was there, he would not let anything happen to her. No matter what. Even if they had a disagreement the second before her Dad showed up. But her father knew where she was and if he wanted her back, he would do what he could to get her back. A lighthouse keeper wouldn’t stand in his way.

Y/N felt her bottom lip starting to wobble at the thought of it, and she put a hand in front of her mouth when the back of her eyes started to sting.

“Hey,” Harry said, squeezing her shoulders. “Let’s go back to mine, yeah? You won’t have to be alone.”

She met his eyes, blinking a few times as she processed his offer. “Yours?”

“Yeah, if you’re a bit shaken up, I thought you might… might not want to be alone.”

Without really registering what she was doing, Y/N was nodding her head to answer his question. “If you’re sure I won’t be a burden in any way-“

“-Flower, you’re never.”

She almost thought she heard him incorrectly. Flower. She had never gotten a nickname before. Her friends back home used to call her ‘babe’ and her mother would sometimes call her ‘sweetheart’ and Bessie referred to her as ‘dear’, but never this one. She suddenly felt a little lightheaded.

Harry wrapped an arm around her and held her to him as they walked through the city. He hummed to The Power of Love as they strolled, keeping the empty and quiet streets of St Ives alive as long as they were walking through them. Y/N looked about them, staring down alleyways and streets, sometimes being too afraid to even to study the shadows or look to make out silhouettes in the darkness. Harry’s humming kept her grounded and reminded her that she wasn’t alone. Once they were walking along the road up to Clodgy Point, Harry let go of her, letting her walk by herself. It was starting to get a bit chilly when the winds of the moors started up around them, so Y/N reached for Harry’s knitted jumper in her tote bag and gave it to him. He was a bit taken aback by that, seemingly having forgotten it was there, but he thanked her, the only two words being uttered at all on their 30-minute walk up to the lighthouse.

Harry unlocked the door and walked in first, turning the light on the coffee table on as Y/N locked the front door. He opened a window to let some air in, then took his jumper and shoes off. Y/N did the same, wrapping her arms around herself. She was aware it had been Harry’s idea for her to stay here, but she suddenly felt like she was intruding. This was his space and his bedtime routine. They had walked off most of their drunkenness, so when Y/N tripped over her own feet a bit, it was purely from exhaustion. Harry was almost about to reach out and catch her even though he was across the room, but his dedication to help her made her chuckle a little. Harry smiled at the sound of it.

Y/N put her tote bag on one of the chairs, putting her cardigan over the back of it as well.

“I…” Harry started, making Y/N look over at where he stood by his dresser. “I have a few shirts and stuff if you wanna freshen up some.”

Y/N chuckled. “What do you mean?”

Realising he probably didn’t make sense, Harry let a breath escape his lips as well. “I meant, if you wanna have a shower, I’ll lend you a tee shirt.”

The thought of showering in Harry’s space seemed almost a bit surreal, but for some reason, also completely normal. She spent so much time here and with him that in a way, it was weird that she hadn’t showered here before. She slowly nodded her head, and Harry opened a drawer, pulling out an old tee white shirt with a small Elton John logo on the chest.

“Towels,” Harry said, walking over to his tiny bathroom and turning the lights on for her. “They’re here, and I got everything you might need in the shower. There’s an unused toothbrush in the cabinet under the sink.”

“Thank you.”

Harry gave her a smile before closing the door. Taking a breather first, the next thing Y/N did was get undressed and take that shower. She washed away the argument with Harry and the reason why it was cut off so abruptly; tried to soak herself in everything else that happened tonight that made her entire body warm. When Harry kissed her cheek; the way his hot lips felt against her skin, how the thought of that moment alone made her feel some type of way. She knew Harry only did it so everyone would think they were a couple, but her cheek was tingling.

She got out of the shower, drying herself off, and putting Harry’s tee shirt on, her skirt under it. Yes, the two were starting to get comfortable around one another, but she wasn’t sure if they were just there yet. Last thing she wanted to do was walk out there in her knickers and one of his tee shirts, then make him uncomfortable in any way. Though she felt like a raisin since she was not doing her usual post-shower skin routine, nor any hair products for her hair, she told herself she’d do it tomorrow when she was back to the Inn.

She walked outside to see Harry laying in his bed, his small telly that was stood by his couch, turned around so he could watch a rerun of an old Would I Lie To You episode. When the bathroom door opened, he instantly looked in her direction, placing his hands on either side of his form as if he got ready to get up. Their eyes met and his eyes fell to her tee shirt, where the material hugged her waist firmly. He met her eyes again, swallowing thickly before he gestured beside him at two glasses of water.

“One by the window is yours.”

“I’m literally so thirsty, thank you.”

Harry smiled, walking past Y/N and into the bathroom, going to take his own shower. Y/N sat down in Harry’s bed, nuzzling under the covers and taking a hold of her glass. She brought it to her lips, sipping it till it was empty, watching the telly as she did. She got up for a refill, drank half, and then just continued to watch the telly for a bit. The light in the room was dim enough so she could easily fall asleep, and she almost did drift off against the headboard, but then Harry exited the bathroom and woke her up with a start.

“Oh!” he exclaimed. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

She smiled, sinking down into the pillow. “Almost went off to dreamland there.”

“Soz.”

“I’m a light sleeper, it’s not your fault.”

Harry nodded, walking over to turn the lights off, the only light in the entire little cottage now being the light from the telly. He strolled over to the fridge and took a cucumber out. Y/N watched him as he brought a knife out, cutting it up in half.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Just brushed my teeth.”

“So did I, but after I’ve been out, I usually eat half a cucumber before bed.”

Y/N stared at him.

“What?”

“Just… just a cucumber? Nothing else?”

“What else? Do you spice your cucumber? With what?” Harry looked at his little box of spices by his stove. “Onion granules?”

Y/N laughed, placing her hands on the duvet above her stomach.

“I actually had jalfrezi leftovers after we went to the pub a few weeks ago,” Harry said as he came over to the bed, giving Y/N half the cucumber. “So I dipped my cucumber in that and ate it.”

Y/N grimaced. “Were you still pissed?”

“No,” Harry chuckled. “I just like cucumber and Indian food.”

“Fair enough.”

Harry picked up one of his quilts and sat down in bed beside Y/N, draping it over himself so she could have the duvet for herself. He bit into his half of the cucumber, completely unfazed as his eyes fell on the telly. Y/N tried not to laugh, but he looked so incredibly cute, munching on his cucumber and smiling at something Rob Brydon said. He must’ve noticed her not eating, because he looked down at where she laid in bed, raising his eyebrows.

“You weren’t hungry?”

“It’s not that.”

“It’s honestly refreshing.” Harry took another bite. “I love it.”

That made her smile and she took a bite of her cucumber as well, Harry watching her as she chewed and then swallowed.

“Well…? Your verdict?”

“It’s just a cucumber.”

Harry rolled his eyes, making Y/N laugh again. “You’re humiliating.”

“Says the person who eats half a cucumber before bed!”

“I’m quirky!”

Laughing again, the two fell into comfortable silence as they watched the rest of the Would I Lie To You episode. Though the idea of eating half a cucumber hadn’t been very appealing to begin with, it did make her feel a bit better. She didn’t know she’d been hungry till now, the cucumber and the two glasses of water had done a well enough job to fill her stomach up before bed, so she didn’t bother asking Harry if she could make herself a toastie. Instead, Y/N found her eyes falling shut, her entire body relaxing completely. All the worry and the paranoia and the fight earlier all came together now, making her so tired she could barely stand to keep her eyes open. Her entire body ached with the effort it took to stay awake. She stayed as close to the wall as possible, where she could look out across the dimly lit lightkeeper house.

Y/N felt the move as Harry reached out to the windowsill. He sat back, screwing the lid open, revealing a balm of some sort. He rubbed his middle finger in it, slowly sliding it along the thick balm till his finger was wet with it. Y/N bit her bottom lip. For some reason, she thought he was going to smear it across his own lips, some sort of cream to help keep his lips moisturised. No, instead Harry dragged his finger under his eyes. Not directly under his eyes, but along his cheekbones, slowly and gently.

“What’s that?” Y/N asked through a yawn.

Harry looked away from the telly and at her. “Face cream.”

“You put it on before bed?”

“It helps me sleep, it’s made of lavender and apricot. Both are supposed to help you fall into a deep sleep.”

“Can I try?”

“Yeah.” Harry handed it over, leaning his head back against the headboard, watching Y/N as she smelled it.

“Lush.”

“It is.”

Y/N rubbed her finger in it, putting it along under her eye. She was aware Harry was keeping an eye on her, but she pretended to find the programme incredibly interesting right then. She heard a slight chuckle.

“Not directly under your eyes,” Harry said. “Not there.” He leaned over, taking a delicate grip of her wrist and moving her hand down. “Here.” His hand moved upward to cup hers, his little finger, ring finger, and middle finger hooking themselves tenderly between her thumb and index. His index rested on top of hers as he guided her hand slowly and gently, tipping his head to the side to rest against the headboard while he concentrated. She didn’t dare look away from the telly, too overwhelmed to do anything but let him help her.

“Then the other eye,” he mumbled, telling her what was going to happen next. Because without warning, he dipped his finger in the balm Y/N was holding, swirling his finger slowly around till it was moist. When he did that, she simply could not help herself, and her eyes fell to look at his hand, taken aback by what was happening. However, she didn’t move or tell him to stop when Harry brought his hand up, sliding it over her cheekbone. Soft, slow, graceful. A prickling hot sensation followed where he touched, slowly spreading through her entire body. She looked away from the balm and at Harry, the second she did, he glanced back at her. A slight breath left her lips, Harry’s eyes falling to them. She sat up, finding the lid and placing it back on the balm. She handed it back to Harry.

Harry took it, placing it back in the windowsill before he got up from bed. Y/N lay back down, quickly checking the pulse on her neck because she knew her heart was beating hard. If it beat hard enough, would it somehow make the bed creak? Was it possible her heartbeat made her entire body shake like that? Just in case, Y/N switched so she was laying on her side. She watched as Harry turned the telly off, the room falling into complete darkness. Y/N closed her eyes, realising for the first time in a minute or two how sleepy she actually was.

It took a second or two before she felt the bed move and creak as he sat down. He shuffled till he was comfortable laying on his side facing her. Only reason she knew that was because she heard his content sigh and felt his breath on her face. It had been quiet for a minute or so before Harry whispered her name.

“Hm?” she asked, opening her eyes slightly. She could not make out much, but she thought she might’ve seen him looking at her. That might also just be her imagination playing tricks on her.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said, his voice a whisper.

“I’m sorry, too.”

“I know you’re just looking out for me and I’m sorry if it was embarrassing for you when I did that.”

“I’m sorry I criticised her for leaving you when it was bad for her mental health, I just know that it can’t have been easy to have been in your shoes just then, so that break up can’t have been easy to deal with on top of everything else.”

Silence stretched on for a few seconds. “It wasn’t. But I don’t blame her for leaving if that was what was best for her.”

Y/N closed her eyes again. “Okay.”

She felt the bed move again as Harry found a new position that was more comfortable. The pillow she rested her head on moved a bit, she reckoned he slung his arm over the top of her head.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Harry said, voice slurring now as well.

“Night.”

“My alarm will go off at 3am, by the way.”

She smiled. “I know.”

She heard him let out a slight breath, sounding like a small chuckle, and the next thing she knew, she was having the slumber of her life.

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 27 September, 9PM GMT!

Vote for ST here ✨

A HUGE thank you to my amazing and beautiful beta readers! 🌊 @aileenacoustic 🌊 @bopbopstyles 🌊 @fromyourstrulyh 🌊 @harrys-creature 🌊 @summerfeelng 🌊 @watermelonsuger 🌊 @withallthelove-a 🌊

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #1dff #:DDDDDD PLS CO COME CHAT :DDDDD

394 notes · View notes