#IT LITERALLY COULDVE BEEN 100 PAGES

[chaifootsteps]

maybe this is a stretch, but, i cant help but to think that r2 reacted the way he did with that 15 yr old because thats how angel dust would react- by sexually harassing anyone that has an issue with him. he does it to husk constantly.

granted, i dont think that r2 knew he was talking to a kid, but sexual harassment still isnt something you shouldnt do to other adults! even if his favorite cartoon character does it constantly as a joke.

i also think that, because in the interview, he acts like he was defending himself from harassment, from someone coming into his space and harassing him, when he literally couldve just blocked the person who had an issue with him INSTEAD of saying "your obsession with me makes my dick hard" because no one made him do that. its 100% on him to chose how he reacted, regardless of how someone acted towards him.

and honest to god, if i was running an entire account dedicated to posting dead dove content, i'd block on sight. absolutely NOT worth the time or pain of arguing with someone who thinks you're a disgusting freak proshitter freak, no matter what youve been through or what you say. saying this as someone with a history of sa with a CNC kink btw

why he didnt instantly block them despite them being on "his page" is beyond me, and just makes me think he thought he could get away with it, or thought nothing was wrong with his behavior until people pointed out. i still feel like making a mistake like that could maybe be understandable.. if he wasn't nearly 30 years old.

I mean, it's possible, considering we're talking about a guy who took up sex work because Angel Dust did it. But realistically, I think he just did it because he felt justified in getting snarky with someone who he felt came into his space to be an asshole. I'm pretty confident in this because it's more or less what I would have said in the same situation, only I would have checked the damn profile because Twitter is crawling with kids. Actually, if I was one of the more public facing, prominent artists for an indie company, I wouldn't be behaving that way at all and like you said, would just block or ignore people.

Viv's inner circle is exactly what you get when the boss's friends are allowed to say and do whatever they want. You get a bunch of 30-year-olds acting like they're 12.

[zzora]

ok i finished Five Survive this morning and umm. it was really bad. im sorry all u holly jackson fans & agggtm was amazing but this book i STRUGGLED to finish. putting my thoughts under a cut cuz its kinda long

my biggest issue w this book was the dialogue. the dialogue was SO wonky and it just felt like, thats not how people talk to each other at all. like the beginning literally had dialogue that was like M: "my big brother is here on my vacation. at my mothers insistence. this is an anooying situation for me."

O: "it is ok. i will not be around as i have my own cabin."

M: "which our mother does not know about. which i am saying out loud even though she is not here"

^this conversation felt so fucking weird to me. are these not things that have been established LONG before the roadtrip started? why would you say that to each other. who talks to their brother like this. its very clear this dialogue is meant as exposition for the reader and not the characters just having conversation. idk couldve been more fluid imo. there were a lot of conversations like this that just completely took me out of the immersion. also the nonstop pop culture references had me cringing.

also there was SO. MUCH. FILLER. it felt like this couldve been a 100 page short story but she added SO much unnecessary filler trying to make it a full novel. there were TWO PARAGRAPHS just describing a character scrolling through the ringtones section of a phone. which couldve been a single line. it read like me trying to hit the word count on my blackboard discussion questions.

honestly theres a lot more i can say but none of it is nice so ill end it here

[itmeblog]

(Pg 110) The writing has improved. I remain fearful as I am now aware of the scope of its range.

It cannot do that to me again.

MT remains very tall. SK (Short king, he really doesn't deserve this title bit I'm giving it to him anyway) is annoying. I hate him. I will accept MT if only I don't have to hear SK trying to convince this girl to disappear for her own safety.

She doesn't want to. That should have been the beginning and end of that conversation, I am tired.

"But he loves--" he is too short for me to care. He must accept his position in the height hierarchy and allow the tallest and the shortest to pair off. This is the natural order of the romantasy ecosystem he will have to find a sleightly taller fan favorite to spinoff with in a story where MTs relationship status renders his height moot.

I believe he will make it... or maybe he'll die. He will either serve as a sacrifice for the MCs development or he will make it to spinoff territory, in an ideal situation he will somehow manage both. May we one day hear as much about her BFF as we hear about SK.

For a book that alludes to sex so often there is a stunning lack of it. I just think it's weird that I have had to sit through several pages of descriptions of how everyone fucks everyone else and just... so much flirting for nothing to have happened.

I also really don't think pinning someone down with your hips the way she described it is practical. He really should've been straddling her waist (above the hips) in a fight, the alternative is just plain unstable. If she was a bit stronger she couldve rocked that bitch to the floor. But it's fine I get the erotic heart pounding implications it's just... like everybody knows. Y'know? They know this was your foreplay because all that nearness and whispering in her ear, the pinning and closeness of their lips (particularly with the height difference)... it was all just super intimate and a borderline contortionist act. I'd've looked away because I'd've assumed they were about to fuck on the mat.

I need the rumors along this line to start circulating through the wing because there is no way that *nobody* knows.

Also Vi baby, you're being presented with a false dichotomy here. I understand there are 2 men in your life telling you to do 2 different things but there's a secret 3rd option where you listen to neither of them and literally just poison the guy trying to kill you. I'm just saying, you take him out like you've been doing literally everyone else. Or you can do like 100 other things, the point is there's more than 2 choices here.

[livingroombeat]

Living room beat progress update 12\16\23

Hi gang, are you ready for your scheduled progress update? I sure am the worlds most consistent writer. well anyway ive been doing some planning for a4 and im gonna kinda explain my current roadmap here.

-do end of a3 animation

Yeah i havent done it yet, ive just been procrastinating. Anyway though its gonna be a short one and it wont take long so this isnt like a major deal or anything.

-do a4

I have the events of a4 planned in detail already in a text file so all i have to do is write the dialogue and turn it into comics. Ive said it before and ill say it again: a3 was WAY too many comics. There were so many comics that were just a couple of words and thats just completely stupid. A3 couldve been like 100 comics but instead ended up at 300+ because i did it like an idiot. But im not gonna do that with a4, it will be pretty short in comic number but each one will have loads of dialogue. It will be super efficient.

-post

I might actually post a3 before finishing a4, but again a4 is going to be super short in page count so it probably wont take TOO long to actually make, so waiting til after its done isnt completely unreasonable.

-do new website

Blogger sucks, its a terrible platform, so im gonna make a new website and host it on github pages. It will be made so that it is super easy for me to bulk upload LOADS of new pages at once so that i wont keep putting it off like ive been doing with the rest of a3. It will be all automatic and everything so i dont have to spend multiple hours on it lol. I will also be able to do bulk changes to the page format so i dont have to go individually through each post and change it. Maybe even a back button????

-do a lot of the story

This is a super vague bullet point but i just kinda want to make my way a fair chunk through the story before doing the next point because it would be kinda annoying to just be halted after a4 for ages.

-go back and redo a0 through a3 (and maybe a4, well see how that turns out)

Ive already said it in this post but a0 through a3 kinda just suck, theres loads of changes i would make now if i made them, so i plan to go back and change them. This would also make lrb more accessible for new readers because they dont have through over 100 pages for it to get 'ok'. I also plan to have a summary page to catch people up on the story of a0 through a4 quickly so that they can get into a5 and beyond. I will probably only keep that summary page until ive finished remaking a0 through a3, but i will post it after a4 as a4 is a good break off point in the story (youll see).

-do rest of the story

This is pretty self explanatory. Theres loads of story to go.

Among all of these points is also planning a5 and beyond as what i said before isnt true. I originally wasnt going to change the actual story i had planned but i changed my mind on that, the main story is being changed quite a bit.

The thing is i noticed the problems with the structure but didnt notice the ROOT cause of those problems, the fact that the characters act as too much of a conglomerate and have literally 0 independence.

Ok what do i mean by that. Well basically all of the alternate reality versions of streve and brian, and even streve and brian themselves, could be compressed into 1 character reasoning their decisions out with themself. They have 'disagreements' but they dont have any REAL disagreements, they always come around and end up acting as a group in the end.

Now is this because im a bad writer? Probably but i can (try to) fix it in future parts of the story. So im gonna do that.

I also plan to make more social media for the comic rather than just tumblr and reddit. Like a twitter even though that site is dying.

I also also need to come up with a name to sign these posts with. All webcomic authors have some name they go by, i dont. So ill come up with one. Anyway thats all i have to say for this progress update. This one ended up being super long so hopefully that makes up for me missing so many. See you next saturday.

[wwonderstruck]

in exactly one week’s time, on friday 8th june 2018, i will be in manchester UK, at the etihad stadium, sitting in way in the back in BK 315, Row U, Seat 409, in my little rainbow dress, finally seeing my idol TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT on her reputation stadium tour, after 10 years of dreaming of even being in the same presence as her and I. AM. SO. EXCITED!

i know the chances of me getting to meet taylor are astronomically slim with me being sat so far away and not exactly being super active in the fandom, but i have waited for this night for so so SO long and i just know that i’ll be spending half of the show in tears at being so overwhelmed that i’m finally seeing taylor live. all i really really want is for her to at least see this post and know that she means the WORLD to me because she deserves all the love in the universe! please help her see my letter to her!

dear taylor,

my name is inas. i’m 22 years old. i’m happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way. i live in the UK. my boyfriend, who got me the tickets as a graduation gift and will be sat next to me, has a heavy yorkshire accent, and he takes it as a compliment that i make fun of the way he talks. i’ve been your fan since the moment i first heard love story when i was 13 years old. and all these years until now, i’ve felt like you were my friend. like you were another big sister. like you knew exactly what i needed to hear at the exact right time.

in 2008 i would flick through all the music channels hoping love story would be playing. i watched through probably hundreds of overly saturated, bright and obnoxious, youtube lyric videos, just so i could sing along to all of fearless. i realised some of the girls i hung around with at school knew all the songs from your debut album and from fearless too. we ended up sitting next to each other in every class we shared and had so much else in common. they’re two of my bestest friends til this day.

in 2010 i sang your songs with my friends incessantly. we took every opportunity to bring up your lyrics in conversation. there was one magical time when we sat til 11pm on a school night, sitting in my friend’s garden shed (it was basically a bedroom) getting overly emotional listening to your full discography, crying and singing along, and talking about our dreams and fears. i listened to speak now every morning on the way to school. it was the first album i ever bought with my own money. it’s still my favourite album of yours, both for the sentimental value, and cos i’m a sucker for dreamyness and sparkle. enchanted is my favourite song of all time. i love that, even though it’s a somber song, my birthday (july 9th) is mentioned in last kiss. i still have my wonderstruck perfume bottle, even though it’s empty. my mum was always complimenting your lyrics, how talented you are, how inspirational you are, and how she loved that i had such a wonderful role model to look up to. my little brother would tease me for being so obsessed with you. my two older sisters thought it was cute.

in 2012 i always had red playing in the car. i loved wearing my thick framed glasses and sundresses and red lipstick. i had grown a lot, much like i felt you had in between speak now and red. i’d gone through a tough break up. i was having a tough time coming into my own again. but some things never changed - i was still idly writing your lyrics in my notebooks, on my hands, on my homework. i would still listen to all your songs on the way to school. i still got giddy if your music video came up on a music channel. and then i saw love begin again.

in 2014 i was old enough to travel to one of your shows myself. i had started university, and the dates of the red tour clashed with my lab sessions. my lab partner was missing and i found out the next day that he had ditched to go to the red tour. i found it so funn that i couldn’t be mad, and we were quickly becoming best friends anyway. he always puts red on in his car when i’m in it. i started doing acoustic duets and medleys of your songs with another friend of mine that i met in an acapella society. he was just as obsessed and we essentially became a taylor swift tribute act, or at least that’s what we’d joke to the audience. for my 19th birthday, my sister got me all the physical copies of your albums. later that year i added 1989 to the collection. by this point, i was single for the first time in what felt like forever and i was living my best life. new crowd, new friends, new hobbies, new romantics. weekly heartbreak was my national anthem.

in 2016 i didn’t care about the he said she said. i defended you against anyone who had a bad word to say, to the point i’d sometimes be in tears. through everything that happened, i never forgot that you were the source of joy and understanding for so many people. that your songs were coping mechanisms, a way of healing. or even just something to dance to. i felt all your light, dreamy lyrics about falling in love and i understood why you spent your whole life trying to put it into words.

and now in 2018 i finally get to see you live on the reputation tour and i’ll dance and sing and cry and i wont want to let it go. i’ve spent the whole winter listening to reputation everyday. i can relate to the true, lasting love, that you so fully deserve to have. taylor, you’ve been such a huge part of my growing up, and you’ve helped me learn more about myself. most of all, you’ve always made me smile. you always make me feel so happy.

thank you so much taylor, for 10 years of bringing me such simple, pure, and honest joy. thank you for leaving me wonderstruck. thank you for the music. thank you for the laughs. thank you. i love you.

@taylorswift @taylorswift @taylorswift @taylornation @taylornation @taylornation

[faerociousbeast]

actually i already rated the "canon" ships what am i doing. i know ill rate them again

naruhina: -10/10. concept is mediocre at best, popular guy x shy girl but that is literally not what is happening here. can we stop pretending its good

sasusaku: -10/10. please project onto someone else

narusaku: 2/10. they care about each other a lot so i guess its ok-er but still not very good romantically. but again if it were endgame it wouldve been not AS bad

inosai: 4/10. it makes so much sense but also zero sense and i never know how to feel about it. sai isnt a sasuke replacement tho. lavender marriage?

shikatema: 3/10. good in concept but again. see sokka and suki atla thats what this COULD HAVE been but it isnt. just bc theyve actually talked does not mean its good where are your expectations. 3 points for meeting before tho bc for some reason that is so hard in this series

chokarui: 3/10. the reason why the previous one also got 3. 3 points for this one bc i guess theres nothing objectively wrong with it but can we stop getting strong female characters move their entire lives to immigrate to the stupid leaf and rhen get dumbed down to angry housewife? please?

tamakiba: 1/10. i love kiba where did this come from tho. if we put tamaki in a crowd we would lose her. summary of all that is wrong in boruto The Pairings Were Not Planned If They Had To Make Up An Entire Ass Woman

itaizu: 0/10 bro. they were 7.

obirin: 3/10 i have.... mixed feelings. rin isnt enough of an actual character for this

kakarin: 1/10 see above

asukure: -1/10 i actually hate this one. fun fact asumas introduction is him being a misogynistic ass to kurenai, so i kinda never got over that w asumas character BUT THEN THEY WENT AND GOT TOGETHER???? for all i said ab other characters not really Having characters, kurenai really takes the cake. all this did was make her a wife and mom. cool. goodbye

yahikona: 8/10 winnnnn the background random couple of side characters is somehow better than all the main ones!!

hayugao: 5/10. idk if thats the ship name but yugao x hayate. at least they had development i guess but its just. theyre REALLY background

tsunadan: 10/10 love tsunadan live laugh love tsunadan. pairing that had the best development in the whole series and it was like. 3 pages long.

jiratsuna: 1/10 i just dont like jiraiya and tsunades already rejected him why does she have to accept him now. give it up old man

minakushi: 7/10 ive mentioned this before but while the pairing itself is nice, kushinas character gets done so bad w all her ambitions in this, and minato doesnt really have much of a character. better than the main ones but could be better.

hashimito: 4/10 see look i really think this couldve been good but then hashirama rambled about madara the whole time and didnt think to mention his WIFE! once so im kind of mad at him about that. hsmd juice sure ig but mito deserves better

hiruzen and his wife: 2/10. i feel like nobody should have to deal with hiruzen for such an extended amount of time but i remember finding her annoying too

koteizu: 100/10 obviously. of course they are canon. ostrich episode carried they carry love them

[duck-era-lexi]

if he had been with me review RIGHT AFTER READING IT LIKE LITERALLY 2 SECONDS AGO

spoilers

holy fuck so i JUST finished that. what a fucking emotional rollercoaster. it was better than i expected so over 100 but not over 200, i'd say 114%.

okay, so the beginning was so good. and when i say the beginning i mean the beginning, like the first 15% of the book, before autumn and finn become friends again. i never read, and i know about myself very well that i do not like romance because i find it very predictable. i do not think this is a perfect book. i still think today tonight tomorrow is way better. the sex scene is awful but i mean it's a published book so the stakes are much lower.

my friend rec'd this book to me and she said it made her cry, but i didn't even come close to crying. i really dislike the last part of this book, i feel like it's really rushed. the beginning is good, love finn but i don't think his death has any impact at all. it's literally 4 pages out of the entire book that he is dead which is crazy. i also hate that for most of the story the book takes the stance of boys and girls CAN be friends even when they're both really pretty and hot, but then suddenly from one page to the next they're like in love with each other?? i also am not talking about how dramatic autumn is and how much everyone says i love you because i don't really care about that all that much.

the sex scene feels so weird and out of place and does not fit into the mood of the story at all though. i just really hate it. i know ugh he dies oh so sad but like emotionally, i feel like autumn doesn't give a fuck lmfao. that's kinda the bad part. i think with childhood best friends there def couldve been an entire plotline where finn knows autumn more than she does and then he helps her with her issues. but there's just like dumb drama for the entire book and the entire thing with sylvie is so stupid. it's angst dragged out for an entire book like omfg

tldr- characters r great but plot sucks

love this review

[egobangin-tonight]

gOD okay im doing a rant about work bc i dont know where else to put it and i need to Screm™

(Its v long srry)

For people who are new, I work in a hospital, i work in an ER, and im a secretary. All i do is answer calls, transfer calls to doctors and nurses, and set up transportation for patients when theyre deemed ready to go upstairs (by the doctor and the nurse) after the admitting department has provided a bed for the patient.

I cannot stress that last bit enough; i set up transportation AFTER all steps have been checked off. I am the LAST person in a chain of events that allows a patient to get upstairs. As a secretary I have no actual power; i am physically unable to interact with any part of this process except for the one assigned to me.

SO

Around 12:20, i get a call from a man asking for a status update on their father. Elderly man whos been waiting for a bed for about 2 hours now. Our ER is insanely crowded compared to most hospitals and today our census was around 90-100 (which is average for us). Having a long wait time is to be expected, especially since the floors patients get admitted to are equally booked and crowded.

So i tell the man the typical response i give to people inquiring about relatives waiting to go upstairs, “the patient is going to be staying overnight but there is currently no bed assigned.”

“so do you know when he’ll be going upstairs??”

“No, from my screen it says that they are still currently waiting for the bed to become available on the floor. So until the space is freed up somehow, they will have to stay in the Emergency Room.”

Now this is usually when they say “can i speak to the nurse taking care of so n so; i just want to make sure theyre okay” or “oh thats okay, i just wanted to make sure they were on the board”. But no, this dude couldnt be okay with either of those choices.

“So you cant tell me when theyre going upstairs?”

“No, I cant. Were not the ones who distribute the beds. Thats Admittings responsibility.” (I literally just gave him is answer 30 seconds ago)

“So who can I talk to to get information on my dad?”

“…do you…do you mean his current status? Because then I can transfer you to his nurse-”

“No i mean information on his bed.”

“Admitting.”

“Can u transfer me there?”

So I transfer him. Poof, gone, goodbye, hope he gets his answers.

IMMEDIATELY, he calls back. “Is this the emergency room?”

“Yes, how can i help you?”

*repeats the entire thing again*

“Sir, i CANT help, admitting is the only department that can give you any answers. If theyre transferring you back to me, its because they cannot help you.”

“But there has to be some kind of waiting list. If hes going upstairs, who determines who gets a bed upstairs first?”

So like, the problem is that he 1) does not work here and 2) does not understand what the actual issue is. Because his dad is most certainly next in line. The problem is that the floors are so filled to the brim with sick patients that theres No Space For Him. Its not us trying to withhold beds, its us having more sick patients than we can handle.

And its even more complicated than that: some people are special needs and require an enclosed room. Some people are in isolation, some people are contagious, some people are a fall risk, some people need security, some people need 24/7 surveillance. Because the floors are so packed, we have Hallway Beds which is basically just the ER but with less patients so its calmer and quieter. Some people dont qualify for the hallway placements or ‘Overflow Beds’ because of the aforementioned needs.

Basically, his dad needed a bed on a floor that was at max capacity and unless there were some extreme last minute changes, there wouldnt be any space.

So i tell him “We CANT speed up the process any faster, we have to wait for people to leave the floor and make space for him.” Its like a car on the curb blocked in by two other cars. Yeah, you want the space that car is in, but until those other two cars are dealt with, youre just gonna have to sit there.

He asks if he could get transferred again so I transferred him.

They IMMEDIATELY transfer him back. So i transfer him again. This time, before they transfer him back to me, they tell us to transfer him to our Charge Nurse. So we do that. And for 5 minutes, hes on the phone w our Charge before she tells us to transfer him back to admitting. So we transfer him AGAIN.

and he calls us !! Either they hung up on him or they ignored the call but he calls back asking for the Charge Nurse. And when she refuses to pick up, he asks for admitting.

This went on for over a fucking hour. An hour of ONE fucking ignorant entitled selfish piece of shit calling and harrassing us to page “The Charge Nurse” “Admitting” “The nurse taking care of my dad” “The DOCTOR taking care of my dad”.

And every single time he called it was for one of these people. And the problem was that we all talked to him!! All of us!! I talked to him! My coworkers did! The charge, admitting, the nurse, the doctor !! They all answered and he still kept calling. And it was getting to a point where we started ignoring his number because he was stopping us from answering OTHER calls.

And he would call from other numbers because we werent answering his call.

Just

AN HOUR AND A HALF of nonstop calling for what ?? To expedite your dad upstairs?? To skip everyone else whos been waiting ahead of him? Why do u think your dad deserves special treatment??

No one understands how our paging system works; i just hold the call and it gets set to 1 of 19 speeddial numbers. And i page that specific speeddial number overhead in the loudspeaker. I cannot physically force anyone to pick up that number; if they hear it and choose to ignore it, i can never MAKE them answer it.

At around 1:30, i notice that his dad has received a bed. Which is good! So when he calls, im still fucking irritated but i tell him “is this about your dad? Bc he now has a bed and-”

“Oh I already know that, i already talked to the charge nurse and admitting and made that happen”

What?

“You made that happen?”

“Yes, im just trying to talk to the doctor for something else”

So I transfer him to the doctor and stare at my coworker bewildered bc…this dude is full of shit lmao Theres no way HE did it, this is not any random fast food joint where you can complain to the manager and get shit done your way. Everything is done in order, no amount of yelling or grovelling is gonna make anything go faster. Because its not that we dont FEEL like admitting people, its that we as an entire unit cannot FIT that many people.

So either 1) the patient left. Either AMA (against medical advice) or discharged. And discharge is more likely because if the patient that left was an elderly or bedconfined patient, then an ambulance couldve picked them up to bring them back to a nursing home or something similar

2) the patient in the room was downgraded to a hallway bed WHILE they were on the floor. Which is believable but AWFUL. Hallway beds are just stretchers in the hall, and you can get an Actual room when one opens up: all it does is allow you to be in a floor with a max of 30 people instead of a floor of up to 150+ people. So to get bumped down is terrible

Or 3) someone who had a hallway bed and was waiting for a regular bed got bumped and skipped in favor of this random dudes dad. Which is EQUALLY bad

But also, I really didnt know what this dude wanted. Because now that hes got the bed i would assume thats finished and he could just go to sleep or something. Once the bed is assigned and the last charting is complete, getting them upstairs is SUPER quick compared to everything else. About 20 mins max to pick up the patient and travel across the hospital to get them upstairs.

But hes apparently been bugging the doctors to complete their charts, harrassing the nurses to do the same; the entire 20 or so minutes i was ignoring him was to essentially get them to finish the chart. But like…??? They have other patients?? And they had to stop what they were doing to answer the calls. And even they stopped responding because they knew that if they heard their name over the loudspeaker, it was because of this dude.

So finally, at like 1:50, I pick up the line. And hes asking for the doctor. And i ask him WHY is he calling the doctor, because theyre not gonna pick up for him, and all i can do is page overhead.

And in the most fake, cali girl kind of voice (bc he DID have a cali girl voice only now it was clearly fake chill) “well, i WAS trying to get the doctor to pick up the phone but maybe you can help me instead.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely try my best.”

“So is there anyway I can get my dad upstairs a bit faster?”

And im like u fucking idiot, you fucking dick wasting all this time, all MY TIME “See you called at 1:30”

“Yes.”

“And i asked, i specifically asked 'was this about your dad? Because he has a bed right now’ and you dismissed me because you felt that the doctor could give you answers, not realizing that if you had just told me 'yes, its about my dad’ i wouldve told you that everything was set up and that we were waiting for transportation to bring them upstairs.”

“Well yes but-”

“So because you thought you were cutting out the middle man, you made me page these nurses and doctors overhead to get NOTHING done. When I couldve just answered you from the getgo.”

And im so irritated and HEATED bc this dude called for 30 minutes just to make his dad skip ahead of everyone else and there was NO way i was letting that happen.

“So is he just waiting for transportation to go upstairs?”

“Yes.”

“Is there anyway I can do that myself?”

“??? No?? Only the transporter can bring them upstairs.”

“Why?”

“???????because its their job????????? Thats what they do???? Bring patients from the ER to the floor.”

“So you mean to tell me that I have to wait? Wait like I had to wait for admitting to get off their asses and get my dad a bed?”

“Thats generally what happens when theres a line of people; you go in order”

So i tell him, “Do you work here? Because unless you are a transporter you are physically unable to bring him upstairs” and hes like “well i should be because no one else in this hospital is doing their job. How is it I managed to get my dad a bed in just three minutes?? How is it that if hes being transported from one department to another, why cant I just wheel him up in a wheelchair.” Im answering his stupid questions as simply as possible but hes just refusing to listen. Like why we need to have transporters transport patients (bc the ID is the only thing that unlocks the door, bc the transporters are the only ones with access to the whole building) or like why its going to take longer because we have limited transporters tonight.

And like..i need to leave…bc i just have no tolerance for people anymore. I cant do it, i get so livid, i wanted to break my phone and smash it into the wall. If this fucker was out on the block i wouldve been throwing fists; he WOULD be catching these fucking hands.

I cant remember word for word what he was saying because it was just him yelling and cursing at me about how this entire building is incompetent, how we told him to wait until his dad got a bed and if he had listened, if he hadnt INTERVENED, he would STILL be waiting, that if he was working there things would be going alot more smoother, shit would be getting done, how theres no reason the place should be understaffed because its the holiday weekend and we should be prepared for this (not realizing that the department literally understaffs us BECAUSE its the holiday weekend and the census is always lower than usual)

Just him assuming no one was doing their job, then complaining for almost TWO HOURS and then assuming that his complaining worked when in reality it was just completely coincidental; that if he really 'got a bed in three minutes’ i wouldve seen a bed appear at 12:40, not 1:30.

And they taking it out on the transporters as if they WANT to be understaffed and stuck transporting patients to 7 different locations across the entire building; patients who need to go to the floors, to sono, to CT, to MRI, and then required to be taken back. To be so understaffed that people delegated to cleaning have to stop and pitch in once in a while to help their coworkers. And he had the NERVE to try and skip past people who were patiently waiting, who were waiting longer than his dad had been waiting.

He asked to speak to the “Head of transportation ” and i wanted to laugh so hard, i could not stop myself from mocking him “oh the HEAD of transportation! Let me transfer you.” Straight to the fucking operator lmao kiss my ass have fun trying to find that person at exactly 2:03am on a monday morning and a HOLIDAY no less

The dad eventually went upstairs. He waited like everyone else in this ER and from this point on, if he wants to cause a scene, im sending the son Straight to the floor his dad is sleeping on so he can harass them because i am done™

[noxrynne]

i dont really have the highest hopes for making the goal i had for school odds are i fail a class, do poorly in another or two, and maybe get by decently in one of them i really regret doing online courses since it always goes back to “oh i missed that because it wasn’t posted,” “oh the professors don’t use the news alert system when new stuff is added with a concise explanation of what I need to do in that post blurb that’s 3500 words of bs,” “oh i didnt realize this awkward and uncomfortable ‘post your personal assignments here that are about yourself so a bunch of strangers can also read and criticize it’ was required,” “the syllabus is written out of order, it’s messy and has a bunch of color code usage that’s never explained and makes reading it harder and, oh, they want me to print it out too bad i dont have a fucking printer and looking at it makes me want to throw up since it’s literally just everything put up on a page and i just start panicking because its so much stuff and it immediately overwhelms me” i also fuckin hate the professors who’ll say like “if you’re here just to get a degree you’re in the wrong place” b/c it’s like college costs a lot of fuckin money and you can bet your ass the only reason im here is to get a degree so i can eventually have a job that lets me be financially stable. trying to say “oh it’s just for funtime education” is bullshit when it costs what it does and isn’t even accessible to everyone from the get-go. i could learn the exact same shit for free from a fucking library and the internet, and talk to people i know if i have questions about material. but that doesn’t give me the piece of paper i need. idk i wish there was more of a “oh i can go do this and be fine financially” rather than needing to spend years in a university because i really hate it. i *wish* i hadn’t fucked up before and been as suicidal and couldve got through it *before* its used as a “yea we can’t have you here cuz you dropped out in the past” *even when* it’s an associated school with the one i *did* drop out of and they told me they *would* re-accept me when i was healthier. no im not a great student. i get overwhelmed really easily, i stress out over everything too much, i break down if i miss one assignment. i dont do well on the shit i actually try really hard at. i dont participate in class because it’s a terrifying experience to be called a fucking “idiot” again by a professor (ty philosopher dickhead at uwgb im gonna fucking punch you if i ever see you) i *forget* about assignments a *lot* and *yes* that’s a *my* problem thing but it’s something so extremely difficult to work around without having someone telling me about it, or just having a visible schedule written down about what’s due on a front page that always pops up. which i mean yeah it’s extra work i guess for the professor to just copy paste some info that’d really help me out, and no i dont have this issue as much in a traditional school b/c i actually *go* to the classes to sit in and be reminded through that. and yea im probly gonna fail out unless the other university sighs and says “well she did try and it was online” and ngl i probably would be *fine* in a regular classroom oriented thing *now* it’s more organized and there’s a schedule i can keep to and get into and when i get *into* a schedule i stick to it 100% b/c i derive a sense of security, existence and safety from having schedules. but if i fail out and they dont sigh and say “okay” then im kinda fucked. i mean, i could probably attempt to get through another year there and maybe go to the actual school instead of the online bullshit and *maybe* then i’d actually meet the reqs. but idk if that offer is gonna stand after this year. and idk im just back to feeling really fucking hopeless and empty. i mean ive been feeling this way all this month. i feel like nothings fucking worth it because i feel like i just cant do it. and that ultimately im gonna end up fucked. and i *know* im 90% of the problem. i *know* my thinking of “what’s the point” is screwing me over. i *know* accidentally falling asleep an staying asleep for a whole day is a fucking issue. i *know* i shouldnt forget important shit i need to do. i *know* i should participate no matter how fucking uncomfortable and frightened it makes me. but it feels fucking *impossible* to work with 0 energy. it feels terrifying to be asked “write an introspective piece about yourself and reflect on the events of your life that made you who you are today” BECAUSE i dont talk about THAT STUFF to people I DONT KNOW i *BARELY* covered those topics in *therapy* because of how uncomfortable they make me. and I DONT need a bunch of strangers in a class knowing the shit that happened to me. and fuck i feel like the entire idea behind the writing assignment was “oh this’ll be fun haha” but it’s like... remembering *most of the shit hat directly impacted how i am today* is one of the most fucking difficult things for me to do, especially publicly. i *regret* online schooling. i didnt realize how much i dont work with it until i thought about it this year. i get overwhelmed. i get stressed. i get depressed. i get suicidal. i get hopeless. i feel useless. i didnt realize i *need* to actually *go* to a class because it helps with the isolation i put myself in. because i straight up actually understand shit when someone is actually explaining it to me and not just handing me a textbook and saying “read it that’s it that’s the entire class, but oh, write an informed paper structured off what you read and if you dont understand the material well go fuck yourself i guess.” and in actually *going* there to a physical room it becomes easier to do things like homework and assignments *because i can walk over to the library*. what *really* shit on my previous school ability was like i was overwhelmed (we *just* moved to a *completely* different state and environment, i *just* had a series of panic attacks in italy b/c i thought i could handle it on my own) and the first school didn’t have a/c and it was fucking 101 outside every day and i dont do well in heat, and by that, i mean i hyperventilate, i get dizzy, i get lightheaded, i get emotional and frightened and stressed and cant sleep. the professor who asked if we read the chapter (I DID) and then pointed at me to explain what i read (I DIDNT FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT), and when i finished he just laughed and told me to sit down and pretty much called me an idiot in front of everyone and i started crying. (i also got a 0 so i failed the reading since he didnt believe i read it). at *that* school there were no therapy or counseling or offers like that. the art building made me cry and feel unsafe (i couldnt control it), having to walk *all* the way back to my dorm building at 12AM b/c that’s when my one class ended was *terrifying* then in a different school it was just i had a class that made me physically uncomfortable to be in. i *hated* being in the freshman course for feminism so much. not b/c i hate the material, but i felt so “other” and uncomfortable b/c im a trans woman being asked about my male perspective on shit and i just. i remember leaving because i just felt upset and depressed and i couldn’t get over the really bad dysphoria i kept having in that class (the professor there was the reason i went to counseling on campus, she’s the one who referred me to it in the first place). on top of that, the dorm i was told id be getting was a fucking lie. i was supposed to have one or 0 roommates. i got 5 roommates. beds didn’t fit me b/c of my height (i slept with the back of my feet on an iron bar). the food was straight fucking garbage. one of my roommates just randomly touched me all the time. hugged me, put arms around my neck, *kissed my cheek*. another was always drunk and loud. another talked about making bombs incessantly. one of them seemed actually concerned about me and he came in once or twice when i was face down on my bed just not moving b/c of therapy sessions and talked to me once or twice to make sure i was still alive. friday mornings in winter id be up at 5AM, trying to get ready without waking any of the 5 other people, then walk outside with no access to breakfast/coffee/anything (b/c too early) to get to a class across and off the campus i had to walk to (and when snow was present my feet were numb b/c of all the water that got into my shoes). and then there was the legit getting 4 hours of sleep if that a week. eating basically nothing. extremely suicidal and getting to the point where i was having days where i legitimately could not discern what was real and wasn’t. and then i left ‘cuz my other option was to be hospitalized. from there its just been attempts at online schools. which i already tiraded about above. i mean fuck id be happy if i *could* just go work in retail and make a decent wage and not have to work every waking hour of my life to make it work. like. i *wish* i was lucky enough to be one of those “i had no degree but x really liked my resume” stories i always read about. i *wish* writing and publishing a book was considered and *was* a viable career option without needing to get really fucking lucky. im passionate about writing fiction, but in order to do that professionally, i need a 4 year degree from an institution. i can technically publish something, but if no one ever hears about it or cares, then it doesn’t become a job to have and it does little else. and then there’s also just a lot of irl shit i keep worrying about and dwelling on and nearly making some really fucked up or stupid decisions in the interim. and idk i just i wish i was one of those ppl who felt like they had a future and aren’t likely to die before age 25. or one of those people who just *does* something and it works out and they get to exist.

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #12: “if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.” - David

Man, things are not looking good at all for me and my alliance, LOL, sweet lord. Jones was blindsided at tribal, and now if I don't win out these immunity challenges, I'm definitely gonna go home.

Winning 2 in a row is a feat in itself, now I'm going for 3. With a time of 7:58, I feel pretty good about it. The key is to not get ahead of yourself and take your time. People go too damn fast in these endurance challenges and manage to mess up, I'm hoping that's the case again this time, LOL.

so...! POST TRIBAL JONES WENT HOME 4-3-1 HALLELUYAH LOLLL LIKE THE GODFATHER IS GONE!!! rhys legit gave me tobi and ryan a fucking heart attack bc if he selfed it would have been 3-3-1-1 and ryan was gonna use his idol on tobi.. i have to laugh lol but ya like uhm.

its rly weird to be in this position. where i feel insanely comfortable. i’m the only person left with 0 votes to my name, me and tobi are the only people to vote 100% in majority throughout this game. :))

and it’s even better bc.. tobi and ryan both think i’m their #1’s. and i can act the fool bc i’m the ONLY canute left vs 3 mercia 2.0 and 3 sweyn 2.0 hehe...

its super weird i dont usually have good positioning but i feel as if the only way i’ll ever leave is an idol play which i think me and ryan have the only ones :)

I BEAT THE CURSE OF EIGHT. But Jones got voted out. So it’s a win/lose situation. She was determined on helping me get past eighth and it’s upsetting. But I gotta keep moving forward and do my best. Block Party was very tedious and I don’t know what’s considered a “good score” for this challenge but I completed it in 7 minutes which I think is pretty good.

so im just gunna be a psychic and hope this comes into fruitation or whatever the word is...

OK SO THIS VOTE GET OUT DAVID.. easy 4-3 lol

next vote.. bait tobi mo and ahrre into voting ryan, tell ryan to idol, we pref get ahrre out if possible..

then i PREF WIN F5 IMMUNITY AND BAIT all of them into votign tobi and i idol tobi... but if i dont win immunity im gunna prob use it on myself and be a selfish cunt lol

Just kidding it took me 11 minutes I don’t think I’m winning this

So last tribal was interesting. In theory my plan didnt change anything, however it couldve stopped a tie vote. Jones was close to Ahrre and Mo (maybe David?!). So she couldve easily chose to vote Ryan and sway them on board. My plan stopped this happening as she had no idea they were voting for Tobi.

Now I feel like I am still in a power position. I am inbetween Tobi, Ryan, Scott and Mo, Ahrre and David. I have to assess my options. I did lie to Mo, and Ahrre. So they may want to make a move against me. Where as Tobi, Scott and Ryan are the more safe trio but also more dangerous in that I wouldnt be able to beat one of them in the end.

Someone has idols too. So ANYTHING could happen. I need them to get burnt out soon. I CANT have a possibility of 4 IDOLS at final 5. Dani, Felix and Jones were all blindsided, so there may be a chance some idols laid there. However the merge one is likely still here. It was gone before jones left, and might be gone still. Meaning the idol is with someone else or wasnt re hidden.

My main goal in this round is to keep votes off me, get an idol possibly used and stay low. I didnt make a massivly obvious move, so my visiablity may still be low. I dont need a huge threat level, it makes getting to the end 100x harder.

Tobi snapped in immunity and tg he did bc David is finally vulnerable again <3 honestly it should be an easy vote considering ik our 4 wants David out bc he's so strong, and I doubt anyone else has an idol since me and Scott have 2.... so wigggg smooth sailing? i ain't gonna settle into comfortability tho bc that's never good

Ok so now I need to think about my end game. The only two people I’m not comfortable sitting next to FTC are Ryan and David. Ryan has been swerving eliminations and has gotten rid of several big threats. David is a comp beast and is also responsible for some big moves. So now you might be thinking, Mo? What’re you going to do? Lemme tell ya Barb. So my plan AT the moment. Is 7. David 6. Ahrre or Rhys 5. Ahrre or Rhys 4. Ryan And then final three will be Scott, Tobi and myself.

Winning immunity at this stage feels sooooooo damn good like especially for this round, this is the first time david has been open on the table after his immunity... and i feel like this is the round where advantages from the other side will be played and im glad im not vulnerable to whatever shit they throw at us... so like from a gameplay standpoint, me and scott have one of the best games currently (i think) with scott edging me slightly since he hasnt got any votes yet, but we're working together really well and like i feel like i can talk game to him really well... so the plan is that we take out david this round, we round up mo (idk about ahrre) for next vote and blindside ryan, and then from there we take out ahrre, and then me and him are in f4 with two goats. He wants to go to f3 with me while taking one goat (or so he says he does) but im gonna start making moves on scott at f4, if i can take out scott at f4 that leaves me a huge opening to take the game all the way till the end... but maybe i'm thinking too far ahead

Lowkey tho like... I kinda want ahrre out over david at this point... i feel like ahrre has built some sort of barrier in our relationship for no reason. like i've shown huuuge interest in working with him in the past, but he's just gone against me and even voted me last tribal in SPITE of me??? like??? everything he's done has landed him in the minority LMFAOOOOOOO LIKE get your head out of your ass and realize that i actually want to work with you!!! and like to get ryan out at f6 we're gonna need numbers and im not sure how comfortable i am with depending on mo to flip with us, the problem with telling ahrre is that hes soooo unpredictable like, he might just go and tell ryan everything me and scott are doing and then bam there goes everything... i understand wanting david out now since he's an immunity threat but thinking about all  the blindsides I need to pull off like... I wanna keep david but I don't have numbers to keep him so I'll just have to bite the bullet on this one

So!! i lost challenge. again. lol xd

missus david and his ragtag bunch of misfits who dk how to Not piss everyone off are now deciding to vote me after unsuccessfully voting everyone else. (: BC THATS GUNNA WORK OUT FOR THEM.

like bitch.. work w/ the majority. they arent even TRYING. its lowkey kinda sad but its their own faults they put themselves in this position...

the tea is even tho i have my idol im only playing it @ f6/f5 OR if david idols. like. tobi/ryan def wont vote me and rhys will just follow ryan i think NNNN

wisj me luck x

Fuck. I have a really tough decision to make. I’d like to say I’m the swing vote but I don’t actually know 100%. I can choose to vote with David, Rhys and Ahrre or Ryan, Scott and Tobi. My main concern with this vote as a whole is jury management because I don’t want someone to leave unhappy with me but that’s really tough to do. I said previously my two concerns are David and Ryan when it comes to who I don’t wanna be sitting next to at FTC. A final four with David is scary because he’s a comp beast. A final four with Ryan is scary because he is super close with Scott and Tobi. This is a headache.

Well so last vote was funky dunky. So rhys sticked with the majority because he considered Jones to be a bigger threat than Tobi due to her connections.... Then the vote comes around and literally everyone lied to Jones about the vote LMAO.

So me mo and david followed thru with the tobi vote but it was to no avail, mainly because rhys not only flipped but he let him know I was gunning for him. Meanwhile the rest convicted Jones to vote me, probably by telling her some lie about how I was after her. While they all voted for her.

So there goes Jones and my no votes streak with her RIP. So after all of that I decided it was time for me to try and win imunity and while I was close Tobi just edged me the fecker.

So now we have an immune tobi and depend on rhys to flip for real this time. I hope he realizes that if he doesn't then everything is fucked but now it doesn't even depend on him. Since it's between Ryan and Scott and it's f7 the chances of an idol being played are high.

David is worried it might be him they're going after but idk anything could happen.

hmm so I've been busy today and haven't been talking with everyone. but i believe the tiffany alliance is still on the same page of voting David. i heard from Scott that the other 3 are voting him and they think Rhys is voting with them so that's interesting. i'm defintiely feeling safe, and i feel like Scott isn't going anywhere either so yayy final 6 here we go. I also talked with Scott about taking out Tobi sometime before final 3 because he's definitely a big jury threat, and he can definitely win immunities so if we get a chance to take him out we might hop on that. A final 3 of me/Scott/Rhys sounds pretty ideal and i think me or Scott would take home the win whew

david got another thing coming if he thinks he can idol me out... thats tea lol :)

So I lost the challenge yesterday...and yet I'm hearing that I'm not getting any votes tonight o.O which I don't believe for one second, cuz if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.

As I'm hearing...me, Mo, Ahrre and Rhys are gonna be voting for Scott, and Ryan, Scott and Tobi are voting Ahrre...because they think that I have the idol, LMFAOOO. WHICH IS TOO FUNNY OMG. I WISH I HAD THAT FUCKING IDOL, LOL.

Okay, so one side thinks Scott is going, One side thinks David is going. Meanwhile im in the middle lieing to half the tribe trying to stop an idol getting played to save my closest ally. Yeet.

Ok so according to rhys they're gonna be voting me since they're worried about david having an idol. But maybe that's just rhys playing the long con. Either way there's a sizeable chance I could be going home this week but hey third time's the charm amarite maybe this blindside will work once in for fucking all. Anyhow let's see how this thing goes.

David is voted out 4-3.

[haeroniel-doliet]

i need more money to buy little art

honestly tho feeling like for that ideal goal existence i’ll try get to someday, i’ll needa be making proper money comfortable and good so i can spend all i like on society 6 and other to buy shirts and bags and just everything to a house all in different art prints (mostly florals) bc just those pictures are  like everything i want but just so expensive. i’m trying to sum down like 10 to stickers, bc i wanna do up my laptop, but dedicating to a single decal (thats like 25 ON SALE) is too much esp since i love so much. so ive kinda decided to get a hard cover for the laptop just in case i break it, and just in case i do break my laptop that i can keep the stickers on the hard case and dont lose them to replaced parts. idk seems smart. ill probs buy a kinda shady cover off of ebay for 5 or 6 pound and then spend 20 on stickers for it :] since theyre on sale till 8 am today and its 3 am im probs just gonna settle and order them. might order cover tomorrow w my dad bc i need trust assurance. hes not all on board on the stickers so im just gonna go for it. theyre gonna be like my post cards. i buy so many every place. and no. not trashy postcards. i want art. i have so many postcards of paintings in galleries and so many from comic con art valleys (guess who wants to get so much more and 100% will) i love original art the most when its pretty to me and like everyone who sees it. simples okay but i prefer soft and detailed. excited now i can go to con and also be looking for stickers bc maybe ill get a few cool ones that wont cost me as much as the society 6 ones do. and then my laptop can replicate my walls, displaying all the art ive loved that ive been able to take with me (bc theres so much i obviously dont have on my walls) anyway im looking at these and making some small bc i suddenly realise this laptops got realestate. and the saddest thing w stickers (literally why i had one of those waxy paged sticker books as a child) is that i cant dedicate stickers to a single spot. its so much dedication. what if i buy a bigger sticker and it wont fit? what if i get the perfect sticker for that spot and it wont fit? (over lap i guess) how can i be sure i put them in the right spots to start with? augh i dont really wanna cover just half of it and obviously leave space bc that puts pressure on finding stickers and i might get ones i dont love. i cant get sick of any one bc itll be there  (joy of having multiple mean theres less getting sick of anything). anyway i think im happy w the sizes of these 10 stickers and can work w them (also for now i think im just gonna be going around the edges and leaving the apple logo as it is, esp bc it glows and theres already this shitty old smiley face sticker from my old psych teacher and i kinda dont wanna get rid of it, i just wanna add things around it so it doesnt look so: clean (actually dirty) laptop that a child marked as their own) 

anyway society 6 has random discounts all the time which is p rad and maybe the day im ready to invest in my own living space and dont feel obliged to check w my parents about just about any purchase, i’ll then subscribe to something thatll tell me what discount is on. that in mind, i think i’ll only get the 9 now, that hopefully wont cost too much, and leave a bunch in my wishlist, bc there’ll be another discount (this is 20% off everything)  and maybe that’ll be like 50% off stickers and boy then when my collection is underway you bet ill go for it. and like maxx sticks on their sketch book, if i dedicate to a new book maybe ill get more for that and have a pretty thing to keep and reminisce over (tho knowing me, ill not use it much bc i have a need for pretty things to stay perfect and presentable, and i have a need for everything that i might show to others to be like near perfect otherwise its sucks and ill feel bad bc i dont wanna show it off to people. like my art book, sure i couldve made it all experimental and crap and then edited the real pages together on the computer. but no. i needed everypage to be presentable and pretty and handwritten and creative. and they must go page after page, its so awkward showing someone something and then going “oh wait now these few are empty sorry yeah heres the next page” so i baasically have  a book with mhmmm 20-26 pages of beautiful spreads that im quite proud of inside beautiful covers ( i knew id want to be presenting it for years to come) and the back pages are just...empty. and theyll probably stay that way bc i no longer have projects to be doing to fill them with. maybe one day ill grow into myself and grow out the fear of ruining what ive achieved and fill some with new projects to please myself and be an indepenednt artist not just a teacher pleaser. you know its like that with my work too, like it has to have a direction and a plan that will be achieved, and its terribly frustrating when that vision doesnt happen. but i think thats the same with everyone. 

anyway on a side note, dont you guys think its so fun and cool how ive not done my post labs that were due last friday? how every night ends up being 3-4 am until i go... mhmmmm yeah i guess nothing is happening. like i hope id bloom and do work at that 11pm-3am window and then i get here, suddenly having lost all track and sense of time and just sigh. its wasted, its basically tuesday already. have to keep telling myself dates bc it moves so weird. i planned on getting shit done two days ago. here we are regardless. and the most ill get done is get those stickers ordered bc that is i guess what ive been half focused on for mhmmm5 hrs. then ill save my 7 dollars or whatever, have stickers on the way, tomorrow order the case and thats one insignificant thing done. then the question will be have i looked at summer jobs? no of course not ive looked at ballet courses. shush. i havent showered for days bc theyve just slipped by too laying in bed, maybe tomorrow ill take a shower and pick up all the trash and tissues on the ground. maybe i will. i know i wont get real work done tonight, and already ill be sleepy till 1 pm and by then mom will be again on me abt sleeping to latesoo... yeah no point. and here i thought id make a quick totes relatable short post about how i need more money to buy stickers and maybe a brief my ideal life is to have enough money to spend on art being in every part of my life and all this  being unique so people love coming to my house and go wow its so original and cool. and that turned into a word vent thats so far taken me over half an hour. hi my batterys dying. 

lng story short, i’ll order the stickers currently in my basket after so much though, suck it up and do it and know that i have a bunch over in my wishlist for that next maybe even better sale when it happens. the only thing is im taking all the rest as transparent which for sure dulls them down (yeah white background looks sick but for some its just more classy w transparent, then theres this one bear i’m 100% naming wojtek thats in white bc i feel it’ll be best for him, and i guess having him in white will set that theres no clear rules to follow and worst case if it doesnt fit he can come chill on the keyboard side next to my mouse pad thing) honestly i cant tell if i should be getting them all in white and just hope that theyll look gorgeous no matter what. yikes 3 dollar shipping for stickers, ok itll actually be 19.62 pound and using euro card 22.50 in  euros.... am i dumb? maybe. and tho im supposed to be saving money up so i have some, i also did get birthday money sorta recently soo... birthday gift from them. first set of stickers. deep breaths ok. my parents told me when i bugged them that i just have to make a decision and not ask them all the time, and he said to get 3 stickers i told him id pick 12 so i think getting 9 is reasonable. also oh shit realising that the delivery time is 1-3 weeks and im staying here only 1 and a half more so i should really order it to scotland even tho it might get ther ebefore i do bc my parents might not rly want to send them up to me. idk ok order to scotland, thank f at least one of my flat mates is staying and tbh i should really bring her some chocolate... shes done me faavours.