#IT KILLED ME IN MIDDLE SCHOOL AND IT KILLS ME NOW

[dannydvo]

I was just told by a blogger to stop reblogging, so I’m a little rusty and weary. I have an old story idea of mine that I will use for inspiration:

There was a little girl, with sun-bleached dirty blonde hair. Her true friends and family fondly referred her as the tomboy of the family. She enjoyed catching and releasing bugs. She felt sad when bugs died. Eventually, daddy long legs and such learned she was safe to be around.

Through time and repeated strife from strange adults and mean children, she became more shy. Less outgoing. She dubbed herself an introvert as a middle schooler, but the fun word to use at the time was “emo”. Now reader, you can only guess what year that was.

This poor little girl was moved away from everyone she loved to a place she had only visited once: the swampland of Florida. Poor child for being forced to live in such an *unwelcoming* region of the Americas.

You can only imagine the bullying that took place in schools. The horror. Children fist fighting each other when home was so peaceful. She was then taught about pedophilia because men kept touching her hair without asking. The bravery and audacity of those men, to do those things in front of a Midwest mother and an Italian Floridian father. Those men were also very very dumb for bothering such successful parents.

However, those parents, through their massive veil of protection began:

1. not allowing her to sleep over with certain friends with little to no explanation.

2. policing her in a way she had never seen before. Don���t they trust her?

3. not letting her go outside alone anymore.

As time passed, she grew paler from lack of sunlight. She became depressed and didn’t know why we had to be so afraid. Then what happened, you might ask? The afraid little girl found social media. She found a bigger evil in something she felt so safe in.

Now she walks around looking over her shoulders, poor girl. Now she is a 27-year-old man. She is proud that no one was able to kill her.

Throughout those years, dear reader, times in her home country have changed. This poor little girl who died was just reborn through the flames.

Call me the Angel of Death, call me anything. Do not let your fear and religious superstition traumatize the already traumatized youth, dear reader. Be kind, or you may just create yet another horror series when the world is always so so tired of horror tropes. Continue on our path, our media will be horror, obscure, free… and beautiful.

You are the child of Death. Everyone always assumes that you were adopted, but you are in fact Death's biological child, although they are unwilling to tell how exactly this happened.

[alleyesony0u]

TW/CW: Discussion of murder, death, and violence

imagine if evbo has a family outside of pvp civilization. a home. and he had his parents. and then one day, their sweet baby boy vanished. their baby boy had been fourteen going on fifteen when he had disappeared, he had a smile that could blind the whole world, he was struggling with freshman algebra and his parents would sit down with him on the couch and try and scrounge up memories from their school days to help him.

now their baby boy is finally back after months, but he is not their baby boy anymore. he is fifteen and he looks at them like he is shoving his hand in that haystack to find the needle. his smile is not as bright as it once was and his eyes have lost that glimmer of joy and innocence. they are so tired, they look like they have seen war. maybe they have.

and then there are the scars. the healed up wounds that mark something had been stabbed through his palms. when he takes off his shirt there is scar tissue so deep, so horrible on the skin of his stomach and chest his parents wonder What happened and how did he survive? the mark of a knife sliced across the throat and the jagged scar stretching across his jaw. and more. so so much more.

and yet he smiles. he tells his parents he loves them, that he will remember them, that he is beginning to remember them. he tells them stories he remembers, reminisces on cherished moments. and all of this says, i am still your son deep down, but it will take some time to find him. he refuses to tell them anything about his disappearance. he's fine. he is okay. really, he truly is. yet he still wakes up at night screaming and pleading and crying. please don't kill me. i don't want to die. why do i need to die? it hurts it hurts it hurts. and what can his parents do but wake up in the middle of the night, sit by him as he is curled up in bed, and watch as their baby boy (fifteen, not fourteen) cries and cries and cries, and refuses a hug, refuses to be touched, because it hurts.

[querkynchaotic]

Obliviate

mary macdonald microfic - canon compliant

(quoted choices by messermoon for dumbledore's first line)

The first time she thought about it was when Marlene died.

It had been months since she had used magic and years since she had stepped foot into Diagon Alley. Actually, after Hogwarts ended, the only time she had seen a wizard or a witch who wasn't one of her friends was in St Mungo's, when Lily had given birth to Harry.

The problem is, once you think about something, there is no unthinking it. The more she tried to get that idea out of her head, the more she thought about it. And as things got worse, that little voice in the back of her mind became more and more oppressive.

"What if you just forgot about it all ?"

Forget about the bullying in school, the glares, the insults, the double standards, the spells behind her back. The death eaters who had already killed so many of her friends. The attacks on Muggles she felt were directed against her. Knowing who had done it, knowing why, and having to hear the explanations the muggle news gave. Knowing the truth.

Knowing became too much. And she understood why they all wanted to fight -- James Potter wouldn't be James Potter if he wasn't risking his life to make the world a better place -- but she just. Didn't have anything to fight for. The wizarding world didn't mean as much to her as it did to them, and she didn't see why she would fight for a place where she was so unwelcome.

So she thought about it. Forgetting everything. But there was too much to forget. And Lily was still here, Sirius was still here, and they needed her. She couldn't be that selfish and let them down.

So, she only thought about it. As something to calm herself in the middle of the night, the kind of horrible thought that weirdly brings you comfort, thinking "if everything goes to shit, I'll just forget about it."

She just never imagined it would get that bad.

Because after Marlene died, Dorcas went a bit crazy. And then she died. And then Lily disappeared. When Harry was 6 months old, her and James went MIA. Sirius wouldn't tell her anything, they mostly talked about Remus, and the more they did, the more Mary wondered how they would ever come back from that. But she never wondered if they would come back from that. I mean, they were Sirius and Remus, for goodness' sake.

And then.

And then.

And then Lily died. And James. And Sirius had betrayed them. And he had killed Peter. And the world fell apart.

She's in Dumbledore's office with Petunia Dursley, ready to leave, when Dumbledore says :

“You will leave Harry Potter where he is. You will not speak to him, you will not write to him, you will have no contact with him at all.”

She feels like she's in a dream. She's outside of her own body, watching herself in that office, with that man. Right now, she doesn't see a war hero, or a rebel, or a headmaster : she sees the reason why so many of her friends are dead. No, not "so many" : all of them. Because the two who are left might as well be.

"He can't..." Her voice sounds weird, like she's hearing it on tape. Like it's someone else speaking. It's completely void of emotion, as well. It catches her off guard. But maybe she doesn't have anything left to feel. "He can't know I exist ?"

The old man smiles, all trace of coldness gone. "I'm glad we understand each other."

"Then I want you to obliviate me".

The voice in her head isn't a voice in her head anymore. It's not an intruder telling her "you could forget about it" ; it's her thinking "I'm going to forget everything". It's her saying it out loud.

"I beg your pardon ?"

"You heard me. You want me to leave Harry alone ? That's the thing I ask in return." Her voice is mechanic, daring, like her emotions are turned off. Usually, that's not a good thing, because it's even more of a mess when you turn them back on. Hopefully, this time, she won't have to go through that.

"I don't understand. What are you asking ?"

God, she had forgotten Petunia was here.

"Obliviate. It's a spell that erases your memory." She doesn't bother waiting for Petunia's reaction, turning her attention back to Dumbledore. "You said I'm reluctant to being involved, right ? Well, this is me not getting involved. With any of it, actually. I don't want to remember the war, I don't want to remember how it ended, or why it started, I don't... I don't even want to remember your stupid school. I want to forget that magic exists."

A surprised gasp comes out of Petunia's mouth, and then the mask is back on, and she looks full of disdain once again. "I understand that. I always told Lily it was better to be normal than a freak."

Mary wants to tell her she's wrong. She wants to tell her that magic can be beautiful. But right now she doesn't remember why. Magic is beautiful when it's someone's magic, and everyone magical Mary loved is dead.

For Lily's sake, for all the times Mary held her while she cried missing her sister, she wants to tell Petunia she's wrong. That she loves being a witch. But she's so tired. And right now, she really doesn't.

She wishes she had someone on her side, to argue with Petunia so she doesn't have to. To jump into the fight for her.

But isn't that what they did ? Jump into the fight for people like you ? And where did that get them ?

Absolutely fucking nowhere.

"How far back are we talking about ?" Dumbledore's voice snaps her back into reality. He's looking at her with piercing blue eyes. God how she hates him. But she's also relieved, like this man is finally gonna take away some of the pain he caused her.

"Everything. Just erase everything from when I was eleven years old."

"I would not recommend that. You would wake up with ten years of your life missing, and you would start asking questions. Trying to fill the gaps."

"Can't you..." She sighs. She's so fucking tired. And more than anything, she wants to go to sleep. Physically and metaphorically.

"Can't you leave some stuff then ? So I don't wonder and get nosy about my own life ?"

"One simple way to do that would be for you to extract your memories from your brain. That way we could choose which ones..."

"For you to have them ?" She cuts him sharply. "And keep them in little bottles and look through them whenever you like ?" She scoffs "That's not bloody likely. Aren't you supposed to be a good wizard ? Like, really talented ? Can't you manage to... I don't know, make your obliviate a little selective ?"

"I could leave some memories of school, the ones that don't imply magic, but it would be very blurry. You wouldn't have much. And I can't let you keep any memories that date from after school. That would leave too many blanks you would want to fill."

She sighs. Closes her eyes. Lets that sink in.

He's going to do it. He's actually going to do it. This is it. This is where her pain stops.

What a bastard though, she thinks with a chuckle. She opens her eyes.

"It's fine. Just... Imply that we fell out of touch after school. I have a lot of memories that don't include them. I'll be fine."

"Very well. Mrs Dursley, if you would like to step back."

And suddenly, she sees everything. Like she's going to die and her whole life flashes before her eyes. All her magical life, anyways. It's like her brain knows what to focus on, in a last desperate attempt to keep it.

She's going to forget Lily's wedding. She's going to forget Harry. She's going to forget Sirius' and Remus' flat. She's going to forget Marlene's 19th birthday party. She's going to forget the trip they all made to France.

She's going to forget about Quidditch. James flying on his broom, Marlene and Sirius throwing bludgers at each other, Lily cheering them on, Remus reading in the stands, Peter with a red and gold scarf and pink cheeks.

She's going to forget how it feels to fly.

She's going to forget about potions. Lily giggling when they made Amortentia. Marlene mortified when hers smelled like Dorcas, Sirius and Remus thinking theirs didn't work because they were brewing it together.

The classes. The spells. Peter's magical chessboard, the owls, running in the Forbidden Forest, enchanting objects so they would dance, getting back at the boys and pranking them, getting drunk with Firewhiskey in the Leaky Cauldron, ...

She's going to forget Hogsmeade.

Trying to do magical make up. Sirius' magical moon phase tattoo. The first time she saw a unicorn. James' elf Minnie. The magical fireworks on New Year's Eve.

She's going to forget how it feels to cast a Patronus.

All there, in a second, she sees Lily smiling and Marls dancing and Remus...

"Obliviate"

When she comes home from university, she finds pictures of her school friends on the floor. She doesn't remember taking them out of the boxes, but she's feeling a bit light headed and really, really tired, so that must be it.

She picks up a picture of her and the girls. God, she hasn't seen them in ages. She smiles. She wonders what they're up to now. Mentally tells herself off for not having made the effort to stay in touch. It wouldn't make much sense to seek them out now, four years later.

Isn't it crazy, how you can spend your entire time with people, live with them, and then... They all went to different universities and fell out of touch, or at least that's what she assumes because right now she can't remember discussing their future, or what Lily wanted to study.

Oh well. She's ready to bet one day she'll turn on the sports channel and see Marls on TV, though she can't remember which sport it was she was really into. Or she'll stumble across a book written by Remus at the library, though she thinks she would remember if he had gone on to study Literature just like she did ?

"I really need to sleep" she mumbles to herself.

She picks up the photos, puts them back in their box, and goes to bed.

[gensokyohyakkiyako]

"Yeah...With this, I should finally be able to do it~." She grinned excitedly. Nobody could stop her now. She could finally...Be the beast she was meant to be! Shaking off that lingering pain from her experience gaining the weave, she'd fly away immediately...Towards the human village.

The villagers would see a black dot in the sky. Nothing strange, people fly around all the time...But before they had the time to realize what was even going on, Mew came flying at them like a missile and landed in the middle of the village, several houses instantly being slashed apart along with their inhabitants in a spray of blood.

"Hehehehe...~! You all...You've forgotten just how dangerous a real monster is, haven't you? Let me remind you~!" She laughed, waving her claws towards one of the villagers who was trying to flee from her and instantly cutting his body into four chunks horizontally. She pounced upon his remains, beginning to devour his raw flesh...Certainly not as flavorful as cooked human, but there was truly something magical about the taste of freshly killed prey.

That were-hakutaku came out to stop her...She yelled something at Mew, but the cath palug was not listening. She immediately choke-slammed the youkai into a wall, carving deep gashes into her body in a surprise attack with her claws and collapsing the school behind her with the massive cuts that extended further than her claws. Keine struggled and managed to find her off...But realized what Mew had done and was forced to try to save what children were still under the rubble. That was one impediment out of the way for now...Mew was more interested in wreaking more havoc.

She charged off ahead down the street, tearing more villagers apart and ripping their meat off their bones with her teeth. Certainly, the villagers were stronger than outside world humans...But that didn't do much to save them here. Especially now that Mew could strengthen herself even further. She bit into a woman's throat, swallowing the blood that gushed forward before reaching back to grab the arm of the man trying to attack her from behind, swinging him into the wall before smashing his skull against it with a kick.

This felt like a dream come true~! Finally she could unleash these desires that were restrained for so long! But before long...Another obstacle appeared. Her body was bombarded with youkai-slaying needles, blowing away part of her...Yet just as easily, she'd weave herself back together as she looked up at her assailant...The Hakurei Shrine Maiden, Reimu.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You should know the-" Reimu was immediately interrupted, her incredible intuition allowing her to evade it when Mew threw an invisible slash her way. She'd gone for the head, too...What a shame.

"I'M DONE WITH RULES...IT'S TIME FOR YOUKAI TO BE YOUKAI." She laughed, charging up at her. There was no danmaku. It was like one of the battles of old...Reimu tried to put up a barrier against her attacks, but even that reached its limit before long against the onslaught of invisible cuts. Each time Reimu attacked, Mew would immediately move to dodge, but often got clipped by it anyway...She was good. Really damn good. But it didn't matter. While normally any other youkai would've been defeated by now, Mew kept weaving herself back together each time she was destroyed. Despite the barrier, against Mew's attacks, her cuts were slowly adding up...She could win this! As long as she managed to get a killing blow before Reimu used Innate Dream against her...! While Mew had this weave, nothing could stop her~!

"No better way to teach you how to 'weave and sew' your own body, than to experience it...besides." She ran her fingers across her lips with quite the smile. "I got to enjoy myself a little, no complaints here."

She failed to mentioned if she experienced it too, if she had but was so normalized to it she didn't even blink? One may not know for now, but at least it seems on Mew's successful sewing of her body back together. That things were working, it'd be such a tragedy to test and see her laying lifeless.

"Simplicity is the hallmark of refined spells, so I've been taught. It should be, easy to use because you need to use it when you're lacking eyes or a brain sometimes."

"Like programming in every little bone, fascinating isn't it?" Micuccia had been crouched before her and and stood with her, a hand on her chin to inspect her fine work.

She seemed to like being handsy.

"At your level, weaving to refine your physical attributes.. should be relatively simple. With practice I'm sure you can break limits, but that's not what it's all about is it... to weave your own life..."

"Not even these fragile youkai and sages can take it from you now..." Only she can, only Micuccia could.

"You should go play a little... I have a dinner date at the mansion over yonder. Fret not, I'll always be near if you need me. Besides. new toys to play with in your hands. You don't need me looking over your shoulder."

[whollyjoly]

i just have a feeling / you're better off than you think you are

(song insp.)

[moonlightflower-queen]

Drawing every Hades character Alphabetically day 1: Achilles

''...The gods promised me eternal glory beyond death. I could have stayed out of the war. Stayed home with Patroculus. I threw everything away...''

Next character: Alecto

[girlbloggerinterrupted777]

i wish i was born as a nepo baby 10 years earlier. i should be strutting around paris during fashion week right now, but instead i'm going to school and spending 6 hours a day with boys who still haven't discovered the concept of deodorant.

[skrunksthatwunk]

been thinking about baby trans kiryu

[nejackdaw]

A collection of memes I made while rereading the Inkheart trilogy, of varying effort (incl. the inspirational quotes)

Inkspell 📜

For the life of me I can't find the exasperated lines from both of them that sparked this but this was the vibe (<- forgot to write it down)

+

(Dustfinger) "'But I will not take a sword in my hand, if that's what you're hoping. You know I'm no good with such things.'" // (Mo) "And Mo felt a dragging sensation in his breast, as if his hatred had given birth to something, something that wanted to kill." // (Resa) "It was Mortola who taught her to hate." // (Farid) "'We can cut their throats before they make a sound. It will be easy!'" // (Meggie) "I hope you catch the plague here and drop dead like flies."

+

"'There's a story... Roxanne knows it,' he said. '... Tell her I'm going to find out if the story is true.'"

❤️📜💀❤️📜💀❤️📜💀❤️📜💀

Inkdeath 💀

"Loving someone merely meant pain. Nothing but pain."

"'Write what you like,' replied Mo, cutting through the leather again. The bookbinder wouldn't feel the words."

+

"It sounded as if his mother were breaking into small pieces... But he wanted to keep her... He wanted to go back to Ombra. That was his castle. He was frightened of his grandfather..." // "'Your grandfather has a son now. So his grandson doesn't count for much...'"

+

He wished them all to hell. Orpheus and the Piper and his grandfather. He wanted to be like the Bluejay and the Black Prince--and then he'd kill them all. Every last one of them." // "He opened it, and Mo forgot to breathe. Pages soaked in blood. Jacopo was looking at him... Mo clutched the pencil in his fingers and opened the White Book."

"His mere name used to quicken her pulse, but now she hardly listened as he told her about his plans... Her heart leaped only when... Doria was suddenly standing there in front of her." (Girl if I had to play second fiddle to my bf he'd be gone too)

[bb-fennelposting]

no no no this makes perfect sense to me @bonefall

[deathandthemaiden23]

Hey y'all I know there's like maybe 3 people left in this fandom but I made a video meme about death and now im forcing you all to watch it clockwork orange-style via the ludovico technique

[mymarifae]

i can't go to work i'm thinking about how mizuki akiyama is the most special beautiful important lovely girl in the whole wide world

[mishkakagehishka]

historical mmo save me... historical mmo.... save me historical mmo......

[heliianth]

what is the bullshit psychology behind me loving to do something on my own but the second i have an obligation to do it, its the worst most soul sucking experience on earth. its like i was just built to be unhappy <- i guess thats the point of capitalism in general but still

[longagoitwastuesday]

Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead

[kakusu-shipping]

My mini contribution to @echoes-lighthouse's Evil Slasher Orphanage! My wife Anna and I are here to help, and brought a few more kids of our own.

I really thought I was a horror fan until I sat down to draw this and came up blank. I guess I'm not a slasher guy, because a LOT more Monsters and Beasts came to mind, so it took a while to form a list. Though I did include Sam who is certainly a Creeture but.. They're human enough.