death-and-his-maiden

[death-and-his-maiden]

my favorite interaction kitty has with jack horner is when she dunks on him for his "granny bag" during the canyon confrontation and i think the reason it tickles me so much is that we've previously established in his introductory scene that jack horner takes particular issue being called "little" jack horner so it's obviously a solid double whammy burn when she also calls him little jack in the same breath but dude's so fuckin frazzled from all the magical bullshittery going against his favor thus far that when confronted with a golden opportunity to double down on one of two insults gracefully levied against him he instead chose to die on the hill that it's not a granny bag, it is a magic NANNY bag which really isnt much better and a complete waste of a snappy comeback on his part

[death-and-his-maiden]

am doing my customary/obligatory comfort rewatch of last wish for sick reasons and it's really funny to me to see puss recount his lost lives in the doctor's office and cap off with "and then there was the giant today" as if this monumental dipshit didnt get taken out by the giant bell that he used to defeat the giant in the first place like yea im sure it was the giant in that tiny orange cat brain of yours bro it totally wasnt a death entirely preventable by not being a constantly insufferable and self-aggrandizing douchebag nah you got done in by your own selfless heroism right gimme a fuckin break man death gave you some character development that was desperately needed cant wait for shrek 5 btw

[death-and-his-maiden]

not sure how often this gets talked about in this fandom bc i kinda live under a rock and mostly keep to myself but I recently came to a kind of unfortunate, epiphanous realization that death is roughly to puss what ethical bug is to jack horner and its like. making me lose my fucking mind. Maybe this was intentional maybe im just yelling at a cloud that other ppl have already forecast a million times over but the idea of this is fucking hysterical to me. The roles of these two characters are vaguely similar in a way i am no longer capable of overlooking. Death will judge the quality of your character and accuse you of not appreciating the value of a life but he'll do it in a way that's overtly threatening and hostile rather than friendly and encouraging; in conclusion, he is unethical bug

[death-and-his-maiden]

dont wanna post the whole thing just yet bc im slightly considering flexing my inking muscles with this for the first time in forever but the level of insane euphoria i get drawing these two in sickly sweet domestic situations is frankly unrivaled,, , THEY'RE IN ~~ LOVE ~~ UwU

[death-and-his-maiden]

Would like to take this time to make an announcement that this is a shrek 5-positive space and if you got shit takes about the art style or some other hypercritical bs you can go far far away from me and stay there bc i need this small morsel of serotonin in my life rn

[death-and-his-maiden]

Was reminded very recently that i do in fact have peacock and thus have access to the puss in boots show again so methinks its time to light up a big fat ganj stick restart the damn thing and god willing finish all 6 fucking seasons before it can somehow move streaming services again

[death-and-his-maiden]

ok it took me till 8pm to carve out the 30 seconds it took to watch the shrek 5 teaser (thanks capitalism lol) but holy shit no one look at me no one breathe near me i need to scream for a million years about how fucking excited i am about this movie and its release date christmas 2026 cant get here fast enough FUCK

[death-and-his-maiden]

In other news i began the year with a single death themed shirt in my possession and within the last month alone have brought that number up to a grand total of 6 thanks to my good friend redbubble which is awesome because when im obsessed with a guy i like to collect merchandise that allows me to display him on my boobs and etsy has been dropping the ball like crazy in that regard

[death-and-his-maiden]

this comic is too big to finish so here are panels of a smug hijo de puta

[death-and-his-maiden]

Since no company will make me a decent official death figurine in the vein of an unnecessarily sexualized anime girl statuette i have taken it upon myself to assemble and paint a 3d printed model of him myself. because i am clearly so normal about the shrek character, i like him a perfectly acceptable amount and dont spend gratuitous amounts of time fantasizing about being in a loving domestic relationship with him

[death-and-his-maiden]

Can i interest the 3 remaining people here in some self-insert ship art because to no one's surprise im still as freakishly obsessed with this wolf as i was when i dropped off the face of the earth

[death-and-his-maiden]

bro psa sketchfab has free 3d rips of death's character model (and also puss and kitty) from the dreamworks racing game and my eyes are pissing tears of joy

[death-and-his-maiden]

PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH (2022)✨️🍷🍹🍺 DRINKING GAME 🍺🍹🍷✨️

1. Take a sip anytime:

• A banger ass song starts playing

• Santa Caloma is mentioned

• Pickles is mentioned 🥒

• Jack Horner says an extremely quotable line (at your discretion, because honest to fucking god most of what he says is quotable as fuck)

• Goldilocks is referred to as a budget version of a similar fairytale character ("Little Bo Creep," "Low-rent Cinderella")

• The name "Team Friendship" is mercilessly dragged through the shit

• A map ownership swap occurs and the surrounding area changes as a result

• Puss gets shit on by anyone within a 5 mile radius

• Perrito tries to get Puss to rub his belly

• A character dies, implying Death is most certainly somewhere in the surrounding area unbeknownst to literally everyone else in the story who isn't Death

• Kitty wears the strap-on in her relationship with Puss (for the layman, this would be any time that Kitty saves Puss's ass in any kind of fight scene or really any interaction she has with him where you look at them and the only thought to go through your head is, "this man definitely gets pegged")

• Papa Bear fails to back up Baby Bear when he resists a particular roast slung at him by Goldi and instead affirms the accuracy of said roast or takes Goldi's side

• Perrito is disturbingly upbeat given the grimness of the current conversation topic being discussed in the movie

•Puss's anime eyes are used and/or discussed

1. Chug for 3 seconds every time:

• Spanish splinter™️ occurs

• A wanted poster is shown

• Perrito triggers the censors 🤬

• Death shows up 🥰 🥺🫠😏

1. Take a shot every time:

• Puss loses a life (if you're daring and can time it, do a sip/shot for each life lost in the beginning montage and repeat during the scene in the Cave of Lost Souls if you can keep up with two sickles mcgee, ignore if you're a

✨️p u s s y✨️)

• The Shrek Cinematic Universe is alluded to, basically any time a Shrek character besides Puss appears on screen

• Perrito has to be rescued

1. Finish your drink when:

• Perrito calms Puss down during his panic attack

• Puss parts on good/neutral terms with his sleep paralysis demon ("Hasta la muerte" 💀❤️)

• The camera pans to reveal Far Far Away at the end 👽(closest emoji to Shrek that I could find sorry the only other green emoji is the puke one which I found inappropriate for our layered ogrelord)

If you're lucky, Death won't be carting your cold carcass into the afterlife by the end of this shit. Happy birthday me I guess lol here's to Shrek 5 bitches

[death-and-his-maiden]

Hey y'all I know there's like maybe 3 people left in this fandom but I made a video meme about death and now im forcing you all to watch it clockwork orange-style via the ludovico technique

[death-and-his-maiden]

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022) Dir. Joel Crawford

[death-and-his-maiden]

DEATH

PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH (2022)

[death-and-his-maiden]

based on an actual conversation between my best friend and i as i was brainrot infodumping at her about the plot of my death fic like i do at any given opportunity