death-and-his-maiden

[death-and-his-maiden]

Would like to take this time to make an announcement that this is a shrek 5-positive space and if you got shit takes about the art style or some other hypercritical bs you can go far far away from me and stay there bc i need this small morsel of serotonin in my life rn

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Was reminded very recently that i do in fact have peacock and thus have access to the puss in boots show again so methinks its time to light up a big fat ganj stick restart the damn thing and god willing finish all 6 fucking seasons before it can somehow move streaming services again

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ok it took me till 8pm to carve out the 30 seconds it took to watch the shrek 5 teaser (thanks capitalism lol) but holy shit no one look at me no one breathe near me i need to scream for a million years about how fucking excited i am about this movie and its release date christmas 2026 cant get here fast enough FUCK

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In other news i began the year with a single death themed shirt in my possession and within the last month alone have brought that number up to a grand total of 6 thanks to my good friend redbubble which is awesome because when im obsessed with a guy i like to collect merchandise that allows me to display him on my boobs and etsy has been dropping the ball like crazy in that regard

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this comic is too big to finish so here are panels of a smug hijo de puta

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Since no company will make me a decent official death figurine in the vein of an unnecessarily sexualized anime girl statuette i have taken it upon myself to assemble and paint a 3d printed model of him myself. because i am clearly so normal about the shrek character, i like him a perfectly acceptable amount and dont spend gratuitous amounts of time fantasizing about being in a loving domestic relationship with him

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Can i interest the 3 remaining people here in some self-insert ship art because to no one's surprise im still as freakishly obsessed with this wolf as i was when i dropped off the face of the earth

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bro psa sketchfab has free 3d rips of death's character model (and also puss and kitty) from the dreamworks racing game and my eyes are pissing tears of joy

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PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH (2022)✨️🍷🍹🍺 DRINKING GAME 🍺🍹🍷✨️

1. Take a sip anytime:

• A banger ass song starts playing

• Santa Caloma is mentioned

• Pickles is mentioned 🥒

• Jack Horner says an extremely quotable line (at your discretion, because honest to fucking god most of what he says is quotable as fuck)

• Goldilocks is referred to as a budget version of a similar fairytale character ("Little Bo Creep," "Low-rent Cinderella")

• The name "Team Friendship" is mercilessly dragged through the shit

• A map ownership swap occurs and the surrounding area changes as a result

• Puss gets shit on by anyone within a 5 mile radius

• Perrito tries to get Puss to rub his belly

• A character dies, implying Death is most certainly somewhere in the surrounding area unbeknownst to literally everyone else in the story who isn't Death

• Kitty wears the strap-on in her relationship with Puss (for the layman, this would be any time that Kitty saves Puss's ass in any kind of fight scene or really any interaction she has with him where you look at them and the only thought to go through your head is, "this man definitely gets pegged")

• Papa Bear fails to back up Baby Bear when he resists a particular roast slung at him by Goldi and instead affirms the accuracy of said roast or takes Goldi's side

• Perrito is disturbingly upbeat given the grimness of the current conversation topic being discussed in the movie

•Puss's anime eyes are used and/or discussed

1. Chug for 3 seconds every time:

• Spanish splinter™️ occurs

• A wanted poster is shown

• Perrito triggers the censors 🤬

• Death shows up 🥰 🥺🫠😏

1. Take a shot every time:

• Puss loses a life (if you're daring and can time it, do a sip/shot for each life lost in the beginning montage and repeat during the scene in the Cave of Lost Souls if you can keep up with two sickles mcgee, ignore if you're a

✨️p u s s y✨️)

• The Shrek Cinematic Universe is alluded to, basically any time a Shrek character besides Puss appears on screen

• Perrito has to be rescued

1. Finish your drink when:

• Perrito calms Puss down during his panic attack

• Puss parts on good/neutral terms with his sleep paralysis demon ("Hasta la muerte" 💀❤️)

• The camera pans to reveal Far Far Away at the end 👽(closest emoji to Shrek that I could find sorry the only other green emoji is the puke one which I found inappropriate for our layered ogrelord)

If you're lucky, Death won't be carting your cold carcass into the afterlife by the end of this shit. Happy birthday me I guess lol here's to Shrek 5 bitches

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Hey y'all I know there's like maybe 3 people left in this fandom but I made a video meme about death and now im forcing you all to watch it clockwork orange-style via the ludovico technique

[death-and-his-maiden]

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022) Dir. Joel Crawford

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DEATH

PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH (2022)

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based on an actual conversation between my best friend and i as i was brainrot infodumping at her about the plot of my death fic like i do at any given opportunity

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Bro idk who's around me rn idk who's really still here in this fandom idk who will even see this or read it and i dont wanna get into it (proceeds to get into it) but ive been on a grand fucking expedition to confront past trauma and shit lately which whoopeee what else is new for what basically amounts to a dreamworks adult obsessed with the grim reaper from shrek specifically i think there's probably an actual good reason this is my biggest blorbo yet (which by the way, my good bitches, is truly saying something) beyond "big scary wolf sexy" but like anyways its been a hot fuckin second of me just sort of existing in purgatory with basically only this character to keep me real company the whole time chipping away at fanfic and makin doodles here and there while trying to solve the great big fuckin mystery of hey pal is there any particular reason you spend most of your free time fantasizing at length about being loved and cared for by literal fuckin death but um i kinda sorta had been making peace lately with the very real possibility that probably the only reappearances from Death we'd see going forward in this franchise would kinda just be relegated to stuff like being a playable character in that dumbass mario kart game they made recently that they had the audacity to charge $50 for the version with him in it and I was immediately prepared to shell out the fuckin money regardless anyways tldr this is my longwinded way of saying bless harvey fuckin guillen for supposedly saying he wants to reprise his role as perrito in shrek 5 and specifically mentioning he wanted to know more about his backstory including the near death experience he had in the sock that he still wears like ok let me be clear im not getting my hopes up for shit im super excited about the idea of harvey and everybody reprising their roles for future shrek installments but i know shit be disappointing sometimes and it just be like that sometimes blablabla alright nothing is set in stone in this cursed ass timeline we're in bbbbbbut

✨️H O W E V E R✨️

I cannot help but think in some kind of weirdly jaded optimism that surely dreamworks would not fucking let the absolute furry cashcow that Death is go to fucking waste if they're bringing shrek back to the big screen it just seems incredibly fuckin stupid this big fuckin bastard gave everyone a boner when last wish dropped to the extent that i actually didnt know anything about last wish going in to see it in theaters the first time knew nothing of the plot who was in it whatever right THE ONLY FUCKIN KNOWLEDGE I HAD OF LAST WISH PRIOR TO SITTING DOWN AND WATCHING IT WAS "OH I GUESS THERE'S A WOLF CHARACTER AND EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK HIM" LMFAO UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKIN YEAR RIGHT LOL anyways if dreamworks doesnt seize the opportunity to give him at least one more like visible cameo appearance anywhere in whatever they can squeeze out of the shrek franchise after it was dead (lmfao) for like years (the puss in boots show is little known to anyone sadly and also it seems vaguely noncanonical if that makes sense stuff gets said on the regular in that show that just seems too batshit even for shrek standards) I'll genuinely like die of shock the entertainment industry is chock full of companies just like dreamworks always achin to get their hands on another iconic character they can squeeze money out of ad infinitum and like i dont want that to happen with Death I dont but also... please just let him show up at least one more time dreamworks throw this bitch a bone im begging you you will make so much money i promise u the thirsty tumblr fans are no joke we'll bankroll your ass to the moon and back

I feel it would be remiss of me not to offer some form of content after all this impassioned war and peace length solilioquy about the scu (shrek cinematic universe) so here's an old WIP from forever ago im like 90% i havent posted here (if i have oh fuckin well tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) its a lil scene from chapter 2 of my death fic where he gets caught redhanded picking flowers for his crush because he's a dork ass loser and wants to impress her without coming on too strong lmao like bro she's so into you just go for it

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I'm sorry but this is really funny to me