#INTENSE training in action DO NOT DISTURB

[lesbianspeedy]

they go 😋

[topzsun]

BUTTERFLY EFFECT

── ♡ TOBIO KAGEYAMA

❝ very few can proudly say there are happy with the choices they made that led them to this point. ❞

Your mother always used to say that life revolved around a series of small decisions that escalated into greater things. Your father would argue life is all about coincidences and accidents. You didn’t particularly care for what life is, you just wished you could have a family dinner without meaningless philosophical debates disturbing the table.

Unfortunately, these arguments will resurface in your mind when you are older, standing like a statue as Miwa Kageyama introduced you to her younger brother, the Adonis of Schweiden Adlers, Tobio Kageyama. You try to ponder what decisions and coincidences had led you to pursue hairdressing and have Miwa as your mentor.

“You’ll be attempting your cut on him. It’s a small trim, so there isn’t anything to worry about,” The latter part of her statement seemed to be spoken more towards her sibling, who to his credit, didn’t look too phased about who exactly was going to be holding the scissors to his head. She had whispered to you beforehand that Tobio could have cared less if a monkey was cutting his hair, as long as his hair was “short”. You don’t think it eased your nerves much.

He takes a seat and you drape the gown over his form, fingers trembling as you fasten the velcro. This action that you have done a thousand times before suddenly feels scandalous when it comes to the raven-haired man.

“So did you just want to trim your bangs, and clean up the sides?” You ask. He nods, and you take a quick breath before beginning. Unlike your other clients, the younger Kageyama sits still and silent, his gaze focused on the mirror as you carefully snip at split ends and unwanted hair. The snapping of your scissors is all that fills the empty salon, and you are vaguely aware even Miwa has left for her office, likely having more important things to do than watch your painstaking trimming process.

The moment you finished couldn’t have come sooner, and you step aside to let him have a full view of the finished product.

“Is it alright? Anything you need me to fix up?” You ask cautiously, breath halted as he leans closer to the mirror, lightly brushing his slender fingers against his hand. The lack of change in his expression only worsens your anxiety, until he leans back and simply nods.

“It’s good. Thank you,” For the first time since he arrived, he looks a little shy as you smile widely, and go to unfasten his gown. Within that moment, Miwa walks in from the back room, walking over to appraise your craftsmanship.

“It’s perfect, exactly how I usually cut it,” She compliments, and she turns to her brother with a faint teasing smile on her lips. “Looks like you know who to ask for when I’m too busy.”

You could faint when he simply tilts his head in agreement.

“Congratulations on your match,” You speak through pursed lips, focused on fixing up the back of his hair that has grown over the weeks he had been preoccupied with training. “It was super intense just watching it from the TV. That last rally had me on the edge of my couch.”

“Thanks,” Tobio responds, “It went on longer than I expected it to.”

Over the past year that you have uprooted Miwa from her spot as Tobio’s hairdresser, the excitement of seeing your celebrity crush had dulled, along with your initial nerves. You never would have expected you’d be able to make such casual conversation with the volleyball player while doing something as mundane as cutting hair. With your growing extroversion, Tobio had also begun giving more lengthy responses to your attempts at conversation, and you realise he’s not nearly as intimidating as he seemed on the court and in the media. He was just blunt, almost to a fault, and it reminded you of how Miwa had been when you first began apprenticing under her. The two apples didn’t fall far away from each other.

“You’re playing against MSBY Black Jackals next, right?” You hum, taking a spray bottle as you begin moving on to the next section of hair. “They say that new wing spiker is debuting that match. They called him… Ninja Shoyo I believe?”

While you were positioned behind him, your eyes lifted to the reflection of the mirror, giving you pause when you saw a smug smile stretched across the man’s lips. You think it's criminal how attractive he looks, even if it’s just his competitive side sparking up. You’d like to see that expression on him more.

“Yeah, and we’re going to win,” He says it like a promise, and you whistle lowly, unable to bite back your smile.

“Well, when you say it like that, I’ve got no choice but to root for you, huh?” Your aching shoulders sag in relief when you finish up his trim, Tobio being your last appointment for the day. You remove the gown from around his shoulders with a dramatic flair. “I’ll make sure to tune in.”

There is a sudden lull in conversation where Tobio’s usual “Thanks, see you” would be. You almost call his name in worry when he doesn’t move from the revolving seat until he beats you to the punch.

“You should watch the match in person,” He states resolutely, and you’re taken aback by his sudden proposition. You break into a nervous chuckle, despite how his stare is set firmly on you, and you try to distract yourself by sweeping up the stray hairs on the wooden floor.

“I would, but I’m sure tickets are already sold out by now, no?” You keep your gaze on the floor, your grip around the broom tightening.

“Don’t worry about it,” He counters immediately. “I’ll send you one.”

You lift your head, midnight eyes refusing to leave your figure. Does he even realise the effect he has on you?

“Okay, then I definitely can’t say no,” You offer him a strained smile and you watch him perk up almost instantly.

“Right, uh, that’s good,” As if finally gaining awareness of where he is, he shifts his weight on his other foot. “I’ll see you then.”

He leaves like he entered, in a whirlwind, and even busying yourself with the menial task of cleaning barely distracts you from Tobio, his eyes, and the excitement in them when you had said yes. Amidst your flustered musing, Miwa takes it as her cue to stroll back into the studio, and you’re filled with uncertainty when you find the corner of her lips quirked upwards slyly.

“Lucky you, huh? He must have really wanted you to watch him play,” What she says next makes your heart drop to your stomach. “He doesn’t even invite me to his matches.”

Tobio Kageyama will be the death of you.

[junosmindpalace]

AGAINST ALL ODDS

☾ ft. satoru gojo

☾ sfw. a back and forth between you and satoru gojo has led to this very moment.

the scoreboard hasn’t been very well in your odds ever since you’ve met satoru gojo. 

you gave into his antics the first day you met him when he made an irritating comment about you looking weak and unassuming. you took the comments personally and retaliated; rookie mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. despite your outburst about his bad mouth and self-entitlement, you could get no reaction out of him. and so, point one went to gojo.

you threw the first punch when he dared you to take a swing at him, taunting you about how much you craved to and how much of a wuss you were that you didn’t. you missed and got in trouble with yaga for attempting to start a fight. point two to gojo.

still, without your knowledge, you’ve been able to accumulate some points on this metaphorical scoreboard. one day while looking for suguru on the training grounds, satoru finds you as well, fighting against him in an intense battle. you slash through his curses, dodging and weaving through his attacks with a concentrated expression, and satoru is almost mesmerised as he watches your display of agility and power. you finally get your first point.

this sort of unspoken back and forth has gone on for some time, with you occasionally giving into satoru’s antics and accidentally subjecting yourself to the humiliation it brings, and satoru finding himself humbled by your sharp wit. 

by now the score is tied, and it’s been a long battle to see who would be the tiebreaker… 

today, however, the heavens remind satoru that he alone is in their favor. 

“suguru, pass me a marker.”

satoru takes extra care in making sure the rest of his body doesn’t move an inch as he extends out his arm to do a beckoning motion, smirking at his own ingenious idea. suguru only gives him a deadpan look as he eyes his friend and you, leaning against him asleep, standing by the classroom's doorway, about to head out to report on a mission.

“you know, i actually like Y/N.”

“i do too! we’re just having some fun. i’ll do something to Y/N, Y/N’ll do something to me—well, try to at least.”

suguru raises his brows in doubt, flickering his gaze between the two of you before sighing and pushing himself away from the doorframe, departing with a final: “i’m not enabling you." before disappearing behind the wall.

satoru huffs in annoyance at his friend’s lack of cooperation, resolving to reach for it himself. “fine, then.” 

his eyes dart back and forth as he takes the most absolute care not to let this once in a lifetime opportunity go to waste. he quickly leans over to grab a whiteboard marker and then immediately straightens when he gets ahold of it. he lets out a breathy, victorious laugh when he looks over at your still unconscious figure and yanks off the cap with his teeth, reaching over to draw some unflattering images on your skin that would surely last a day or two, and surely get him even higher on your list of truly intolerable people.

but he finds himself coming to a sudden halt when you adjust yourself on his shoulder, tilting your head slightly lower, hair falling over your eyes and brows subconsciously creasing in slight distress over being disturbed in your slumber. 

and satoru feels bad.

what’s he got to feel bad about? you’d probably punch him and call him a pervert when you wake up and take notice of your somewhat intimate positioning. he goes back in with his marker.

again, you halt his actions, this time by letting out a small disgruntled noise, burying your face deeper into the crook of his neck.

it almost feels like you were challenging him, and he feels like he's losing. the right side of your face was still open for him to scribble whatever sort of crude word or drawing he wanted, but for some reason the left side smushed against his arm was willing him still.

he couldn't help but think, as you relaxed again, that you look so peaceful. he’s never seen you so so delicate looking, and it stirs a mixture of emotions in his stomach that burn in his face. he can only stare in wonder, a slight bit anxiously, as he brings a cautious finger to move the hair out of your eyes. his fingertips brush against your temple for only a moment, but the ghost of a smile lingers on the corners of your lips at the gentle touch anyway.

satoru gojo alone is the honoured one, but then again…the gods are fickle.

just as he had before, he ever so carefully closes the marker and sets it on the desk beside him, and lets out a long, shaky exhale as he clasps his hands firmly in his lap. his eyes shine as they glance over and linger at your face, yet quickly he redirects his gaze and pursues his lips.

it’s only ten minutes later when you stir awake, and satoru, who only seconds previously was lost in his own head, straightens in alarm. you groan a little as you come to and lift your face to ground yourself back into reality. when your gaze eventually meets satoru’s, wide eyed and somewhat unintelligible, you quickly jump away from him.

“what the hell were you doing on me?!”

“you were on me.” satoru smirks, and immediately melts back into his typical casual and insolent demeanour, and your face only burns in embarrassment when you realize you can’t refute.

“well why didn’t you push me away?” 

“oh, you just looked so tired and, you know—“ satoru pretends to yawn, stretching his arms over his head. “i felt bad disturbing your peace. did you know you drool in your sleep?”

“oh you are so—“

“ah, so you did wake y/n.”

both your heads shoot up toward the door where suguru stood with an arm casually propped up against the doorframe. your mouth opens and closes for several seconds before you manage to ask, horrified, “how long was i out?” 

“i don’t know. you were asleep when i left, and it’s been about…fifteen minutes? since then?”

you quickly turned back to look at satoru accusingly, but he only raises his brows up and down in a suggestive manner. you turn away from him in your embarrassment, and scold the black-haired sorcerer instead.

"and you just left me alone with this guy? you could've woke me up!"

you drop the subject fairly quickly, and satoru can't help but feel grateful, because he’s having a hard time keeping the racing of his own heart under control. he gazes downward at the floor, slightly bashful and uncomfortable with himself when he, unwillingly, reminisces on the tingling sensation he felt as you laid against him.

the tie breaking point finally goes to you. 

[pamgkrthwrites]

Touched : Chapter 1 - Attachments

Warning, the following content is for an 18+ audience. If you are under the age of 18 do not read the content below. Warning, the following content has disturbing/triggering themes such as; Cheating and others. I do not support or encourage these themes or actions, they are merely written fictional events for entertainment. The character(s) depicted within this post are over the age of 20. (This list may get updated with each new Chapter Update)

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Fandom: BNHA

Pairing: Bakugou x F!Reader

Themes: Soulmates, Porn with Plot (This list may get updated with each new chapter update)

Summary: After finding out your boyfriend of two years - who is not your soulmate - cheated on you, you quickly find a job in another part of the country so you can get far away from him. You become the secretary of Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, Bakugou Katsuki. The bond with your soulmate - in which you can feel everything sexually related - starts feeling more intense after you start working for Bakugou.Not only do you have to deal with your soulmate bond becoming stronger, the feelings of betrayal and heartbreak from your ex cheating, but you also have to deal with Bakugou flirting you - who with each passing day, seems to become more attractive.

Word Count: 3502

A/N: Thank you to my beta readers, "Huntress" and "Ribbon". Also for telling me the porn is cringe but thats fine-

If it wasn’t for your pounding headache from all the crying you did the night before, you would’ve thought it was just a normal day. Your heart felt shattered, even if the breakup was weeks in the planning after you found out your boyfriend had cheated on you.

You sat up from your mattress on the floor and got out of your sleeping bag. The removalists would take the last of your stuff today then you were going to move to Musutafu in the Shizuoka Prefecture.

Moving to a whole other Prefecture just to get away from some boy who cheated on you might have been an overreaction, but you gave up so much to be with your boyfriend. You gave up friends, and some amazing job offers, and even stopped talking to some family members.

You didn’t even want to tell your parents you broke up with your boyfriend because he cheated on you. You knew if you told them that, they would say ‘This is what you get for not waiting for your soulmate’. You simply told your parents you had accepted a new job and were going to move away and that you and Minato had decided to break up.

Which was also the reason you gave to him. You didn’t want to admit you came over to surprise him, only to see him kiss another girl while she left his apartment. You didn’t want to admit you then talked to the woman and found out she thought she was dating him for months. You didn’t want to admit that you then had been secretly planning to leave the Prefecture, accepting a new Hero Assistant job just to get away from him. 

You didn’t want to tell him. You didn’t want to tell your parents.

You didn’t want to tell anyone.

Because you knew no one would support you at this point.

You took your last shower in your apartment and put the last of your things into your suitcase before standing outside of your apartment as the removalists came, taking your mattress, a nightlight, table and chair. 

You sighed before making your way down the apartment stairs. Your train left in a few hours but you didn’t want to stay around here for very long. Too many memories.

You didn’t want to remind yourself how much you had failed.

You were starting a new life, away from all this drama you caused for yourself. You were starting your new job next week and you already had a new apartment to move into, leaving you with the opportunity to throw things out.

Goodbye Minato Kusumoto, you cheating bastard.

When you stepped into your new apartment, you let out a sigh of relief. 

Sure, there were boxes everywhere, but you were away from everyone. You had been moving around all day, only being able to have a small lunch. You felt so tired.

You were thankful to the removalists that they put your mattress on your bedframe. You quickly made your bed then stripped off your clothing, getting yourself comfy into your bed.

You had a busy next few days ahead of you then straight into work. You needed things to be fast-paced, so you could get your mind off of Minato.

You looked at your phone one last time before bed, rolling your eyes when you saw your mother had texted you.

Mama Hi sweetie How was the trip? Did you get home safely?

You I’m fine mother, thank you. I���ll text you in the morning, I’m tired.

You didn’t even look at what she texted back, you just put your phone down and turned over in your bed. You closed your eyes, wanting the darkness to take you.

But then you felt it.

You pushed your thighs together and blushed feeling as you felt pleasure and desire rush through your system.

Your soulmate really knew how to pick a time to masturbate huh?

You remember as a kid that you thought you didn’t have a soulmate. Everyone had a soulmate bond. All different but you couldn’t feel yours. You got tested when you were 10, but once your results came in your parents refused to tell you anything besides that you did have a soulmate.

It was only when you were a teen did you understand why. You and your soulmate could feel each other, physically-sexually that is.

If you were aroused, they would feel it. If you touched yourself, they would feel it. If you had sex with someone, they would feel it. Same in reverse.

You were thankful your soulmate was able to control themselves. Sure they had desires and got horny in the middle of the day but they wouldn’t act on it and shut it down quickly. Only in the late afternoon and early mornings did they act on it. 

So you would think with that sort of bond, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself a boyfriend.

That was your parents' logic anyway.

You tried for the longest time to follow what your soulmate was doing, being in control. Trying not to get horny in the middle of the day and even limiting when you touched yourself.

Then you met your ex-boyfriend and you broke the unspoken agreement you had with your soulmate.

Minato just- He flirted with you, daily. Praise you, your work, your body. You couldn’t help but look at him some days and just imagine him nude. Wasn’t long until you started dating, and then sleeping together.

You knew your soulmate knew. Not only could they feel it, but they stopped masturbating altogether for a while.

Their timing was- It was something. They started masturbating when you and your boyfriend had sex, and if you were mad at your boyfriend. It was almost as if they knew when you were mad and did it just to piss you off.

You lay there - in your bed - and held onto your pillow for comfort. Maybe it was because you were still upset, but you weren’t getting turned on by your soulmate playing with themself. It saddened you. 

Did you technically cheat on your soulmate?

You wouldn’t be surprised if your soulmate didn’t want to be with you.

You felt their climax wash over you, giving you a sense of stress relief. 

You would be blessed if your soulmate ever wanted you back in their life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thank you for taking him on on such short notice.” The tall hero in denim clothing - Best Jeanist - sighed out. “We’ve been trying to find him someone even when he was just a sidekick.” 

“I am just grateful for this opportunity, Best Jeanist.” You thanked the hero, slightly bowing the hero. 

“He’ll be a handful.” Best Jeanist sighed in a defeated pitch. “Let me know if he becomes too much of a handful for you, Miss L/N.”

You softly nodded. The articles you had read about the Explosive Hero were alarming, to say the least. He would be needing an overhaul of his PR branding, limited access to his public social media, and probably limited interviews.

Maybe photoshoots would help him gain some more fangirls. His fangirls were probably the most loyal thing he has ever had in his fanbase if the Hero Deku wasn’t.

“Thank you for the concern, Best Jeanist.” You said in a thankful voice. “I’m sure I’ll find my rhythm with him soon enough.”

“I hope so too.” He said before opening an opaque window door to an office space. 

The room was 5 metres by 5 metres, one wall only being a window to the outside of the building, and the other three being opaque windows. One of the opaque walls had another opaque door, but you could tell that the other side of the wall and door had soundproofing foam stuck to it.

Best Jeanist walked into the door and pointed at the door with foam on the other side. “That’s Dynamight’s office. We’ve tried making it so you won’t get disturbed by his yelling. If he does get too loud you are more than welcome to work with some of the other Hero Assistants.”

“Is there a common room where the assistants frequent?” You asked him.

“Yes, on level 5 if I remember correctly.” He answered. “I’ll ask my assistants where it is exactly for you.”

“Thank you, Best Jeanist.”

“You can just call me Hakamada, L/N.” He reassured you. “I’ll go find Bakugou so we can introduce you to him.”

“Don’t bother.” A deep husky male voice spoke from the doorframe.

You and Hakamada turned to the door frame, and there stood a 196cm tall man with a wide chest and shoulders, muscular arms crossed in front of his chest, spiky ash blonde hair, sharp ruby red eyes, and an explosion scar across the right side of his face.

It was Katsuki Bakugou, also known as Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, in the top 100 heroes in Japan and the hero you were now the assistant. If it weren’t for him never being able to hold down an assistant, you would have never been given the opportunity to be able to quickly leave your ex-boyfriend.

You felt a shiver down your spine and a growing uncomfortable arousal feeling growing inside of you. You tried to push it away, but you could feel your soulmate’s arousal as well. 

“Bakugou, I’m glad you were able to make this meeting.” Hakamada spoke up. “This is your new assistant, Y/N L/N.”

Bakugou’s eyes are glued to you. You felt small under his eyes, and you couldn’t figure out the feelings you were feeling. Maybe from your soulmate bond?

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Bakugou.” You spoke up, trying to keep yourself professional and calm. “I hope we can work together without any problems.”

Bakugou’s eyes stayed glued to you, giving you another shiver down your body. Something about him gave you an uncomfortable feeling. Maybe it was because you had met the known explosion temper, maybe it was from how large it was, maybe it was the scar etched into his skin, maybe it was how he was holding eye contact with you.

Whatever it was, it was stirring something within you. Something you hadn’t experienced before.

“Bakugou-” Hakamada's voice broke both of you out of whatever trance you two were in. “Please don’t scare her off so early into this job.”

Bakugou gave you one last glance before looking at Hakamada. “Fine.”

Bakugou then turned and walked towards his own office, leaving you and the tall hero alone again. Hakamada didn’t allow you much time to recover from your first meeting with the rising hero.

“Sorry about him, I don’t know what’s up with him today.”

“It’s alright, Hakamada.” You rescued him. “He probably was just testing me.”

“That wasn’t him testing you.” Hakamada said. “He’s very… Never mind.”

You quirked a brow at him, but he moved on to the next topic. Not allowing you to ask any questions regarding Bakugou as a person.

“There should be a handbook in the top drawer on what we expect you to be doing for today.” Hakamada said as he pointed to your desk. “Read over over and if you finish it early then get started on making up a plan to showcase to Bakugou, my assistants and myself tomorrow. Is that understood?”

You quickly nodded your head. “I understand sir.”

“Good, I’ll let you get to work then.” Hakamada then left swiftly, walking towards Bakugou’s office.

You walked over to your office, placing your bag beside your desk before going through the large file that was on your top desk. Either Bakugou was going to be a difficult client, or this hero agency was going to be difficult. You had to press on though, you couldn’t fail again so soon.

You saw the screen on your phone light up and saw a familiar name pop up which made you breathe in sharply.

Minato Kusumoto Hope you are doing well Miss you <3

You hadn’t blocked him because you didn’t want him to figure out you knew yet. Maybe give it a few more weeks of him texting then you’ll block with under the reason he wasn’t letting you move on.

Yeah, that could work.

You looked back at the paperwork and started reading.

Your back felt sore after reading the whole file. You stood up and cracked your back. You wrote down some notes on your notepad, but there was no way you had a full plan yet. You could do that at home.

You put the whole file in your top drawer before gathering your things and getting up. Once you left your office, you felt eyes resting on you. You turned, seeing Bakugou’s ruby-red eyes staring at you. You felt another shiver down your spine before politely smiling at him.

“Good evening, Dynamight-”

“Bakugou is fine, L/N.” Bakugou interested you, though his tone was not as harsh as you were expecting.

Was his explosive personality just an act? You doubted it considering that file you just finished reading through. Maybe he was tired?

“...Bakugou.” You corrected yourself. “I hope you have a good evening.”

You could see something behind his eyes, as if he was a grandfather clock in deep thought.

“...Travel home safely, L/N.” Bakugou said before turning back to whatever he was doing.

You eyed him courteously before turning and backing your way to the elevator. As you were walking, you felt your soulmate’s arousal and desire flare up out of nowhere. You gritted your teeth through the friendly smiles you gave up, wondering what on earth made your soulmate go against their known pattern. It didn’t even feel as if they were trying to cool themselves off or shut it down.

Whatever it was, your soulmate needed to knock it off for the next half hour. Just so you could get to your apartment in one peace. 

As you ate your dinner, one of your eyes twitched from the arousal you still felt between your legs. Your soulmate did not even bless you with five minutes no, they seemed to have been arousal ever since you had left the office.

In fact, it seemed as if their desire had increased since that time!

You wanted to be understanding, forgiving even. Especially after those two years, you were with your cheating ex-boyfriend. Now however you understood why your soulmate was a bit vengeful during that time.

This constituent heat and arousal at your core was starting to get frustrating. 

Too frustrating.

Too frustrating for you to eat your salad in fucking peace!

You hoped that starting to unpack your new home would help you not focus on whatever your soulmate was lusting over. It worked for a good solid ten minutes.

That was until you felt them start to masturbate as if their life depended on it.

You gasped, feeling something tight pump up and down on their cock with fast strokes. You actually stumbled to the side and gripped tightly onto whatever furniture was closest to you, dropping whatever you had been holding onto. 

You heard something shatter, but that didn’t matter right now. You gripped tightly onto whatever you were holding tightly tightly and shut your eyes. You had started to pant, feeling your cheeks heat up.

You bit your lower lip, trying to hold in a moan. You weren’t even touching yourself and yet your soulmate was able to bring you to the point where you felt yourself dripping wet, ruining whatever panties you were wearing.

What in the hell had them this turned on my gods!

You felt there to sit on the floor, breathing desperately as your soulmate masturbates for twenty or so minutes. You gasped sharply inwards as you felt them climax, leaving you shaking in a wet puddle on the floor of your apartment.

You stayed there for a moment so you could recover, trying to come down from their climax. 

Your head felt dizzy and your vulvar felt sore. It felt very similar to actual sex. If it wasn't for the fact that no contact was actually made with your body, you would call it the best sex of your life.

Maybe it felt more intense because you moved closer to your soulmate?

You immediately shot that down, thinking back to the night before. Last night felt like it normally did. This was clearly triggered by it genuinely being more intense on your soulmate’s side.

You finally pulled yourself up, your legs shaking from the intense orgasm you felt. You felt something wet slide down your thigh, making you shiver.

You looked at the floor and saw a shattered plate.

Shit.

You carefully cleaned up the shattered plate mess while trying to ignore your own sexual frustration between your legs. You’ll deal with that in the shower once you are done.

Your phone started to ring. You grabbed it and accepted the call, bringing it to your ear as your eyes focused on the shattered plate on the floor.

“This is L/N.”

“Hey there, kitty.”

You felt your body froze from hearing your ex-boyfriend’s voice, Minato Kusumoto.

“Minato, it’s lovely to hear from you.” Your faked a smile through the phone, feeling a pit of dread in your stomach.

That certainly killed your sexual frustration. 

“No pet names?” You heard him pout through the phone. “I know we have only recently just broken up, but I thought I would get something more than that.”

“I’m not really in the mood, Minato.” You sighed through the phone.

“Did I catch you at a bad time, kitty?” You heard Minato’s husky voice ask with a slightly concerned tone.

“Shattered a plate.” You answered him. “Add onto the fact I have to have a whole plan ready for the hero by tomorrow.”

“Short deadline first day, huh? I know you’ll be able to do it, kitty. You were always able to do quick deadlines.” You heard Minato softly chuckle.

You used to love the sound of his voice.

All you could feel now was heartbreak and betrayal.

“Please don’t do this, Minato.” You said firmly to him. “No nicknames, no praises. That’s what happens when two people break up.”

You could almost feel his annoyed disappointment through the silence. You needed to set up this boundary with him, you needed to fully pull away from him.

“Whose the hero are you working for?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“That’s not fair, Y/N.”

You sighed, rubbing a hand down your face. “Minato-”

“No, you don’t get to be disappointed.” Minato snapped you through the phone, sounding hurt. “You don’t get to drop everything we had for a job and I don’t even get to know who the guy is!”

You felt a hurtful heart squeeze. You wanted to snap at him about how it wasn’t fair that you threw your life away to be with him, only for him to cheat on you.

But you couldn’t say that, because that wasn’t the reason you gave him.

You took in a deep breath then let it out.

“Minato, I deserve this job. It’s what I worked for my whole career. I know it’s unfair, but it would also be unfair for me if I just threw away my dreams for you.”

His voice became silent, but you could hear the rhythmic taping of his fingers onto his knee.

“Is that your only reason?” He asked.

You felt your blood run cold. You hoped he hadn’t used his quirk to find out the truth. “Yes, that’s my only reason.”

Silence once again fell the call.

“You better do a fantastic job there, Y/N.” He finally said. “Don’t let them look down on you, alright?”

You sighed in relief. “I won’t I promise.”

“Good.” Minato sighed. “I- … I hope I see you soon, Y/N.”

You hoped not. “Bye, Minato.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

You hung up the phone and finally let your emotions collapse. 

You felt warm hot tears run down your cheeks and you breathed in deeply but in fast short breaths. You hunched over, bringing your hands to your eyes as you started to sob.

That good-for-nothing bastard.

Fuck-! Why couldn’t you just have waited to meet your soulmate!

You hated it! You hated you! You hated Minato!

You just wanted your soulmate - whoever they were - to hold you. You just wanted to be loved and wanted.

Would you even be able to love your soulmate? It seemed as if it was going to purely be sexual.

God, what if you weren’t lovable?

You sat up and looked up at the ceiling and took in some deep breaths.

Breathe. Just breathe Y/N, breathe.

Inhale, exhale.

You were going to be okay. You had to.

You picked up the last of the shattered plate, wrapping it up in plastic before dropping it into the bin.  This was a new start, remember? You are going to be amazing.

[buttherainbowhasabeard]

The Boys: Why the Gruesomest Show on TV Is Also One of the Greatest

Brash. Brazen. Bonkers. Brutal. Bloody. Bawdy. Bizarre. On the surface, 'The Boys' is a show I should absolutely loathe, yet I love it. Why? Because it’s like nothing else I’ve ever seen before, and that makes it exhilarating! 

In this day and age of remakes, reboots, sequels, and prequels, 'The Boys' is a revelation. It takes everything we’ve come to know and love about the superhero genre and turns it on its head. Actually, it smashes its head in and flies off, covered in blood, with a big grin on its face. 

This alone is a great antidote to the "superhero fatigue” that so many of us have been suffering from. With the DC Universe currently in a Chapter 1 reset, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the midst of a very busy Phase 5, ditching the genre (and all the films, TV shows, and spin-offs you have to watch to keep up with it) has been beyond tempting.

In showrunner Eric Kripke's cleverly subverted script for 'The Boys' (based on a comic book series by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson), each superhero, or "supe,” as they are dubbed in the show, is a satirical spin on a classic DC or Marvel character, even down to their collective name, The Seven (based on the Justice League).

However, unlike the more moral idols it takes its inspiration from, 'The Boys' is an R-rated romp that explores the ramifications of giving ordinary humans superhuman powers. Behind all the muscled supersuits and PR-manufactured wholesomeness, our heroes have become outright antagonists, and the so-called vigilantes have become our (anti)heroes.

Soldier Boy is an angry and arrogant take on Captain America. Homelander is a narcissistic, sadistic, and volatile version of Superman. Queen Maeve is Wonder Woman, if she were reduced to a cynical sidekick. All-American girl Starlight is an amalgamation of Mary Marvel, Stargirl, and Dazzler. Kimiko possesses a feral quality akin to that of Wolverine. Tek Knight is a BDSM-obsessed Batman. Black Noir is a masked mercenary in the same vein as Deadpool (minus the sass). The Deep is a dumb, perverted parody of Aquaman, and A-Train is a reckless Flash or Quicksilver. They even have their own Nick Fury of sorts, in the form of Vought International SEO Stan Edgar.

In the era of corruption, celebrities, and social influence, real-life supes would definitely abuse their powers and gaslight the public into believing every bit of righteous bullshit that came out of their mouths. They only (and begrudgingly) do good deeds to get more follows and likes, and most don’t like each other either, viewing teammates and partners as competitors rather than comrades.

This dark, disturbing, and at times hilarious take on the genre is what makes the show stand out amongst the rest. It easily offends, distresses, traumatises, titilates, and grosses you out. But it’s not just done for headlines and shock value. Every single chaotic, cruel, and unpredictable action is there for a reason. It forms part of a character’s motivations, it propels the plot forward, or it sets up a new and exciting direction.

Casting is another ingenious ingredient in the supe soup that is 'The Boys'. Household names (Antony Starr, Karl Urban, Giancarlo Esposito, Jensen Ackles, Simon Pegg, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, to name a few) are mixed in with relatively new names (Erin Moriarty, Karen Fukuhara, Tomer Capone, Dominique McElligott, Aya Cash, and Colby Minifie). However, all performances are stellar. There isn’t one specific actor who carries the whole show or steals every scene (although Starr can be the most mesmerising). As an ensemble, they all have a role to play, and they play it scarily and consistently well.

Every episode is an intense mix of gratuitous violence, gore, sex, nudity, language, and drug use. Characters engage in orgies, bodies are mutilated and torn apart, heads are blown clean off, religious views are ridiculed, and political agendas are exploited. There are supes who are sexist, supes who are homophobic, supes who are racist, supes who are ableist, and supes cloaked in woke ideology purely for the purpose of infiltration and manipulation.

That being said, and for a show that always feels one scene away from being banned, 'The Boys' has shown incredible restraint when it comes to its ending. Five seasons was what was planned, and five seasons is what it’ll be. Despite top ratings for each season, a loyal fanbase, rich source material, and the potential to introduce dozens more supes and storylines, 'The Boys' can clearly see the value of quitting while it's ahead, and I salute them for it.

I’m confident that the fifth and final season will be f**king diabolical, and I can’t wait!

[tacky-optic]

SINNERS, ALL OF 'EM

the seven deadly sins + the gang = way too much overthinking

Lupin's Gluttony The world's his for the talking, yet he can never be satisfied. That'd be a real bummer if he were anyone else, but that hunger for more challenges, more adventures, seems to only add more fuel to an already roaring fire. He's a Glutton for a lot of things: Punishment, mainly. But also attention and experiences. His curiosity is insatiable. The only issue with Lupin's Gluttony is that he isn't inherently wasteful, which is a pretty glaring caveat. In that case, the big question would be "does the damage he leave in his wake outweigh that which was stolen in the first place?"

Jigen's Sloth/Envy "Man, I'm too old for this shit" incarnate, with a little dash of "I'm still going to silently judge you from my dark little corner, though" on top. It isn't Sloth "I'm gonna take a decade to get to this" so much as it is "I'm gonna do what you want me to do so rapidly and effectively that you're gonna think twice about waking me up again after I get back to my nap." But he really doesn't do jack-all if it isn't Lupin-related. If it were just him all on his lonesome, he'd kind of just rot. He is indifferent to his effectiveness. Bored, even. His loyalty to Lupin is an inherent aversion of his responsibilities as an individual.

His Envy brings him to action. He's a man of a lot of subtle wants and no willpower to take them, but with the right motivator, he'll bring down armies. Fujiko is a pretty good spur-on, as well as anything that remotely puts Lupin in the line of inconvenience or danger. If it's for one of his very, very few friends, he'd go through hell and high water just to get them a decent sandwich or something. Just be thankful his Envy's benign instead of malicious...

Goemon's Pride Mr. "Once again, I have cut a worthless object". There's literally an entire movie about his ego getting so utterly shattered that he gets all cagey/stabby mode about it for the rest of the movie, on top of training so hard he rewrites his entire goddamn nervous system just so he can do said stabby better. It's fantastic. To dedicate oneself so fully to one skill, then to restrict it to your own judgement as to not tarnish it, feels like the antithesis of humility. Pride, in a biblical sense, is to sever oneself from God; to become so wholly individual and confident in said fact that you forsake conventional belief in favor of your own. So congrats on netting the literal Worst sin, Goemon, you've earned it. God ain't shit when you can cut through anything.

Fujiko's Greed Does... does this even need elaborating. She's a woman that knows exactly what she wants and exactly how to get it, plain and simple. Why settle for anything less than the best?

Zenigata's Wrath/Lust What a wombo-combo, damn. This guy's the definition of love/hate. He's a man simultaneously impassioned and overwhelmed by his emotions, yet they lend so heavily to his professional and personal effectiveness that without them, he wouldn't be him anymore. Wrath and Lust go hand in hand, in a roundabout sort of way. It's about loving something so much that you want to crush it. A brutal dimorphous expression of emotion. To long for something to intensely, so vehemently, that it guides every action, fuels every decision... Underneath it all, would it even be possible to know what you are if that drive is all that defines you? Could you even call that living? We're talking about a guy who unironically wears heart boxers and almost exclusively eats cup noodle, people. This symbolism's very disturbing...

That's A Wrap You can always argue other sins for each of the cast members, of course. Lust for Lupin, Wrath for Jigen, Envy for Zenigata-- whatever. At the end of the day, they're all objectively terrible people. It's semi-safe to say that outside of religious contexts, the seven deadly sins have grown subjective in common culture/media. So why not take liberties? I sure as hell did. It's a goddamn miracle these managed to turn out so succinct.

[yanderes-galore]

You're both either Ponies or Humans for obvious reasons. Was originally deleted for personal reasons.

Yandere! Nightmare Moon with Apprentice! Darling

Concept (AU where Nightmare Moon wins)

Reupload/Repost

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere behavior, Possessive behavior, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Forced affection, Implied murder, Stockholm syndrome, Slight sadism, Hypnotism.

- The Mare in the Moon has finally made her reappearance.

- Kidnapping Celestia, Breaking the Elements of Harmony, even getting rid of that Mane Six wasn’t all that difficult.

- Now it was time for her new age of eternal darkness to begin.

- You’ve never met Luna, or Nightmare Moon.

- You’re just a simple unicorn affected by the removal of the Sun.

- Forced to cower in fear when the princess of night strolls into Ponyville in search of something.

- You looked so pitiful when you tried to hide yourself from the mare’s piercing blue gaze.

- “I like the look of you, you’ll do perfect~!”

- You’re terrified when the princess points you out, stalking closer.

- “Consider yourself lucky, unicorn! It’s an honor to be my apprentice.”

- You can’t find yourself going against her.

- Her eyes dare you to try, you refuse.

- That’s how you’re roped into being Nightmare Moon’s apprentice.

- Picked out by her to be molded into a pony of darkness.

- That’s what it starts as, at least.

- You’re dragged into the Everfree Forest against your will with only the nightmarish mare to see.

- “Your fear is delightful, my apprentice! Perhaps we’ll grow closer?”

- While Nightmare Moon’s power grows, you’re given books to train.

- She needs her apprentice to be strong, right?

- When you hesitate the mare is then right beside you.

- Wispy mane brushing against you before she leans her head by yours.

- A fanged grin is on her face before she lightly presses her cheek against yours.

- “Come on, dear! You wouldn’t want to disappoint me, right? You want to make your princess proud, don’t you? I may even reward you~”

- The mare is extremely manipulative to you.

- Maybe even hypnotizing you a bit to comply with her forced studies under her teachings.

- It isn’t long before the nightmare spreads to Canterlot, winning Nightmare Moon her rightful rule in the castle.

- Everypony feels horrible for the poor unicorn beside the mare.

- The unicorn that looks tired all the time, encouraged to continue walking by the princess’s slight nudges.

- As her apprentice you’ll have a special spot to rest in her quarters.

- You’ll even have the library to study.

- “I think your studies are going well. You’re certainly stronger than when I took you in. Don’t you think Canterlot is so much prettier at night?”

- It becomes clear that she isn’t just using you as a forced apprentice or future weapon.

- It’s not hard to think Nightmare Moon favors you in a much more intense way.

- A wing is perched around you while you study beside her.

- She rewards you with small actions of affection when you do well.

- Praises are even thrown affectionately towards you while she rests her head beside you.

- As time passes it may even start to feel good….

- The Nightmare’s unicorn soon falls into a disturbing case of stockholm syndrome for the mare.

- It pleases her when you even start to come up to her and give affection of your own.

- Nuzzling and hugs come from you willingly, the mare accepting it gratefully.

- Nightmare Moon would no longer be cast away from the attention of Equestria.

- Everyone would enjoy her night.

- She even had someone who adored her now.

- Her lovely, beautiful apprentice that eagerly wishes for her attention.

- What else could she ask for?

- “You’ll forever be under my spell, all mine to keep and adore. We’ll be together under my night.”

[good-chimes]

Performance Evaluations

---start file---

From The Desk Of His Majesty’s Most Private Of Areas: A True And Accurate Evaluation Of Growth Opportunities For The Knights Of The Square Table, The Loyal Court of Ren the King, As Suggested By The HR Department

(Note to self: when did we acquire an HR department? Ask Bdubs.) {We have always had the Royal HR Department, your Majesty! It consists of your loyal servant Bdubs.}

Scar:

Title: h0tgUy! (Note: is this even a real rank?) {Your Royal Heraldry Department (Bdubs) has declared it a rank, your Majesty!}

Good Points:

Intense and disturbing masculine energy

Unhinged (on second thoughts, move this to Areas for Improvement)

Star power? Think I saw him in a movie once. Keeps being mentioned. {If your Royal Cinematography Department may come in with a point here, your Majesty, I think Scar made that movie up.}

Areas for Improvement:

Late

Unhinged (on third thoughts, move this back to Good Points)

Cub:

Title: Sir Cubalot (Note: cannot say this without Scar laughing, order investigation into reason)

Good Points:

Magic

Very magic

Shining purple eyes!

Magic awaits!

Areas for Improvement

{Your Majesty, we have yet to witness Sir Cubalot actually do any magic} – Note: Don’t be silly, Bdubs, magic takes time. Add to his file: brought cake.

Joe:

Title: Sir JoeHills of the Says (Note: work out what a ‘first name’ is, people have been commenting)

Good Points:

Strong supporter of our cutting-edge fiscal policy

A positive attitude towards responsibility

Folksy idioms show that I, Ren the King, have the Common Touch {A WONDERFUL common touch, your Majesty!}

Areas for Improvement:

Please teach him how doors work {Note: send to Training Department (Bdubs)}

Cleo:

Title: Lady Cleo (Note: this does seem to be a real title, congratulations to my impeccable heraldry talents)

Good Points:

Has assured me several times she is not working to depose me and I believe her

Intimidating aura

Intimidates the enemies of the Crown

Areas for Improvement:

Also slightly intimidates his Majesty the King

Refuses to wear very fashionable glasses

{Very hurtful about Bdubs’ Command and Conquer skills}

Bdubs:

Title: {Royal Secretary, Royal Treasurer, Royal Architect, Royal Laptop Owner, Royal Impulse Skull Manipulator, please see annex for other titles}

Outstanding loyalty is a shining example which no one else seems to be following

Positive mindset ditto

Is the only person around here who can work a computer, must get him to show me how {To be actioned by the IT Department (Bdubs)}

Areas for improvement:

Was at party {for excellent reasons I do not need to enquire about and I fully pardon him and am sorry I let Scar threaten him}

Playing computer games during official meetings {which I find to be a charming quirk that brings levity to official business, and for his great work I should give him a substantial raise}

This will now be proclaimed with speed and splendor to my knights of the square table. {Note: send to Communications Department(Bdubs)}. My knights: go forth with an accurate understanding of your opportunities for personal growth, and make your king proud.

---end file---

false@eagle.craft: why am I on this mailing list? Bdubs, do you know what a ‘cc’ field is?

impulse@soup.group: no, no, please continue

grian@stillnotresisting.craft: OH MY GOD YOU ARE ALL MAKING THIS SO HARD

[mazeinthemiroh]

snow stained with blood.

genre: anti-hero au, jongho x reader, action, violence, romance

word count: 0.9k

warnings: violence, mentions of blood and guns, reader is attracted ti massive red flags but hey-ho ig

a/n: this is jongho as the winter solider, so if you're a marvel fan, you're gonna love this. so this was sent in by my dear 🧸 anon who if you guys didn't know is obsessed with jongho and that's totally valid. so anon, i hope you enjoy this! i haven't written an action/superhero piece before so i hope it's up to scratch! lemme know what you think hehe <33

It was not clear why you were drawn to him in the first place. And the very idea of being attracted to what people called a monster... well, that disturbed you more than anything else.

"I didn't want you to have to see me like this."

That would've been your cue to run away. Run as fast as you possibly could and never look back.

But you didn't. Of course you didn't. Your feet felt like they were frozen to the spot. You couldn't move, couldn't look away. There was an inexplicable conviction to keep watching, despite knowing in your gut that only bad things would ensue.

The man you knew as Jongho was not like other men. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, you weren't too sure on your first encounter. He was charming and polite, but there was a cold and calculative look in his eyes which made you feel there was much more to him than meets the eye.

Now you watching him single-handedly take on a mob, with what you now could see, shining in the persistent moonlight, was a metal arm. Underneath the brown suit and blazer he had on earlier, he looked like a gentleman, well-built and daring. Now, who was he? Was he the one they called 'the Winter Solider'?

Your heart was in your throat as you watched the men in full black surround him with various weapons. But you could see in Jongho's confident glare that he knew he had a chance. He always did. They were no match for him.

It was almost fascinating to watch his calculated moves. A fist to the ribs, a knife to the leg, and all of this while dodging the attacks of the others. He knew what he was doing. He's done this before.

That thought chilled you to the bone. That, and the fact that your bare arms made contact with the freezing air.

Before you really knew what you had got yourself into, an arm gripped your throat from behind. You tried to let out a shriek, but your sounds were stifled by the intensity of the person's grip on your neck.

Next thing you knew, something was held against the side of your head. It would take an idiot to not know what it was.

Jongho noticed your breathless whimpers and lashed around, glaring at the man in black pointing a gun to your head.

"Surrender now or I shoot!" The man screamed in your ear, causing you to twice. You tried to wiggle out of his grasp, kicking and thrashing as much as you could. But his grip was too strong on your body, it was almost suffocating you.

Jongho said nothing. He tried to hide the anger that bubbled up inside of him, but you could see the aggression in his cold glare. It was a side of him you hadn't seen before. But as chilling and deadly as his aura was, there was something very much attracted to him.

And when, in one swift movement, he took out his own gun and fired, his cruelly trained arm locked in place as he perfectly shot into the man's head, the bullet mere inches from your face. You could've sworn you felt the vibrations of the bullet in the air as it passed you, before entering the man's skull.

What did you feel now? Relief? Or mortification? You turned around to stare at the dead man's corpse. How did you end up here, in this situation? Your mind started to swirl.

Jongho's had finished with the rest of them. His breath was steady and slow, as if he hadn't just been combating the psychos that attacked him. Blood stained the side of his face like red paint adorning a painting. In some hideous way, it looked beautiful.

You stared at him. You should've run away. As fast as you could. Now, here, you had a chance again to do so. And yet you stayed.

"Thank you," your voice whispered; your breath could be seen in the cool air.

"I didn't want you to have to see me like this."

You felt like it wouldn't have made a difference. Because even with his previous gentlemanly nature, you could've sworn you were attracted to something much deeper. Perhaps you sensed the danger in him all along. Perhaps you smelt the blood that would appear on his hands before you even saw it. Perhaps you craved what he had to offer. A thrilling life. a life of adventure. Bloodshed. Terror. Hope.

"Well," you stepped closer to him, feet crunching through the snow, "we can't go on our date with you all covered in blood now, can we?"

Jongho scanned your face, perplexed. Your nonchalance was surprising to him. Your indifference... baffling. How could someone go through such a shocking incident and move on so quickly?

And he started to realise that you, too, were different. Different, just like he was. Intrigue sparkled in his eyes as you reached out to link his metal arm with yours. The same metal arm that just took on a mob.

As you walked away, arm in arm, the snow poured in a gentle cascade. It was sickeningly beautiful, really. But the disturbingly romantic scene is what you bonded over. You felt a twist in your stomach when you realised that actually, yes, you were attracted to danger. You were attracted to him.

There was a carelessness of the two of you, not giving a second glance to the bodies that lay on the snow stained with blood. There were more important things to focus on.

ateez taglist: @a-wandering-stay, @xlovehwa, @yeosangsbiceps, @anyamaris, @acciocriativity, @hawaiian-angel, @chammak-challokys (let me know if you want to be added/taken off)

[isfjmel-phleg]

Okay, I can't do fancasting, but I can pinpoint what I personally would be looking for in actors for a YJ-and-adjacent adaptation.

Whoever would play Tim would need to be able to convey a lot of seeming contradictions. Friendly and affable but intensely private. The Only Sane One but in fact just as unhinged as the rest of his friends. Resident logician and strategist but brimming with (mostly) controlled emotionality. Comes across as mature and sensible but also has lots of annoying little brother energy. He would need to demonstrate a wry, self-deprecating humor while also having the capacity to be driven and serious and sit on rooftops to brood when necessary. Should have the physicality of someone who has carefully trained for what he does, not someone who has effortless natural talent.

Kon should be the charismatic teenage hero type, like something escaped from a Disney Channel show. Lots of Attitude™, lots of style, lots of action. Boisterous and cocky but can be caring and gentle. This actor needs to have fantastic comedic skills because Kon needs to be funny. Deliberately, consciously, genuinely hilarious and witty. Not at all dark and brooding. But he should also be able to pull off a very specific type of angst--depressed but in denial about it. Kon's happy-go-lucky persona is both an expression of his natural personality and a front he clings to avoid being vulnerable, so his actor should be able to convey these layers of complexity. Hypothetically, his actor would also be playing Match and would have to pull off a cold, efficient, vindicative (but ultimately tragic) persona too.

Bart needs to be played by someone who can avoid making him a caricature. The fun and humor and lightheartedness need to be there, of course, but they're combined with a very teenage belligerent and stubborn side. This needs to be someone who can convey a unique style of thinking and get across that Bart is in fact quite intelligent and perceptive. There should also be an ability to effectively emote without words. It's a highly energetic role with a distinct physicality. Ideally, Bart's actor would also be playing Thad, so he would need to be able to pull off the contrasting roles, to give each of them their own distinctive mannerisms and styles of speech and physicalities, and to absolutely nail the emotionally intense climax of Mercury Falling.

Greta's actress should be able to be both genuinely sweet and genuinely terrifying. One is not a mask for the other; she is both at the same time. She should be able to deliver some of the most disturbing and hilarious lines ever with utter sincerity (things like "Death is coming, and...he's on skis"). She has a vindictive streak and can be harsh but not so much that the audience won't feel for her. There's an innate vulnerability and waiflike quality to this child despite her powers. This is a very dramatic role that would require a broad range as Greta gradually goes to the Doug Side dark side before being restored back to life.

Cissie needs to have the air of someone overtrained since childhood in athletics with a side of pageant-like skills--like a child on one of those dreadful reality shows about exploitative parents. She is poised and controlled and elegant and knows how to make an impression. At the same time, she is intensely emotionally driven and would need to pull off highly dramatic scenes, like her attempt to get revenge on her school counselor's killer--but also drama played for laughs, like her expectation that she'll have to become a villain after the failed revenge or her reaction to being dragged into the baseball game.

Cassie is an interesting combination of reckless enthusiasm and struggles with self-confidence. Not big on tact and can be toxically optimistic. Her actress shouldn't be the glamorous type; she needs to seem like a very ordinary, relatable, down-to-earth girl (who happens to have superpowers). No big transformative makeover moments--she should just become more and more comfortable with and confident in who she is as she matures. Her actress should be able to convey the stages of an arc in which she gradually figures out her distinctive identity and develops as a strong leader and role model.

Anita's actress needs to have a strong, authoritative presence. You should really feel that she can compel others to do her bidding at the sound of her voice. She should have a warm quality too that really comes through in her relationship with Slo-bo in particular. There needs to be a balance of her formidable powerfulness and the fact that she's a teenage girl who is increasingly in over her head, and her struggles as she is stuck raising her deaged-to-infant parents must be poignant.

Slo-bo should be cast as someone who has the quality of an old soul despite being the technical youngest of the group. He should combine the tough abrasiveness that he feels he needs to assume as Li'l Lobo's successor with a keen sensitivity and struggles with self-loathing. He insists he's not a good guy and presents himself in the most morally gray terms he can, and this isn't an act (exactly), but it's complicated by the fact that he is legitimately kind and self-sacrificing. If played right, the audience won't initially know what to make of him but by the end should be heartbroken by his apparent death.

For Ray, someone who can portray the heroic nature of the character, but neither formidably muscular or a suave heartthrob type--he's rather ordinary. This needs to be someone with good comedic timing, someone who can pull off the naivete and the Absolute Disaster-ness and seem out of his depth in the real world, but also convey introspectiveness and a longing to be loved. He wears his heart on his sleeve, struggles with some depressive episodes, and can be quite vulnerable, with some notably dramatic scenes. There should be a bit of an edge to the character as well, as he becomes more jaded and makes choices that could potentially result in his going evil.

Grant needs to have a sort of ordinary-teenage-boy quality. Earnest, sweet, eager to prove himself, awkward, a bit of a goofball. But his actor should also have the capacity to handle a highly dramatic role. He should be able to convey explosive anger without being brutish and unsympathetically aggressive. There's an underlying anxiety in how he responds to the world, something ingrained in him by his abusive upbringing. Despite his powers and the anger and strength associated with them, he is emotional and vulnerable, with quite a few scenes that would require him to weep. He undergoes a striking change in demeanor after his face is scarred, and his actor would need to make the transition into bitterness believable.

[yuriko-mukami]

Her Calamity Dark 10

Beta reader: @ruki-mukami-dl

Chapter Selection

The library was quiet and surprisingly cool. So was the angel in my arms as she absorbed herself into a book. While she turned page after page, I found it difficult to concentrate on the novel and played with her curls instead. Such a strange feeling, not like me at all. 

I could not stop the disturbed feeling whenever the scene from a couple of days ago played through my mind again. Even though I did not want to admit it, it was clear that Karlheinz-sama had manipulated Yuriko’s feelings to make her fire appear. I did not like how he had made her fear. She should have been happy at all times and no harm should have come to her.

But Karlheinz-sama wanted Yuriko to train Shu. I could not prevent that if I wanted to stay as his loyal servant. It seemed that all I could do was stay by her side and make sure that Shu would not maltreat her. Though he had seemed like he truly was afraid of the flames… but fear was a great power that was able to push people into desperate actions. I needed to be on guard. Perhaps, I should have a private chat about the matter with Shu. 

As Yuriko shifted against me, I buried my nose into her hair and inhaled her sweet scent. It was different again, less intense and not so… needy? That made me wonder if the Kitsune she had met had been correct with the mating season. It would not be that surprising for foxes to have such. The Vampires had their own as well once a month but for the Kitsune it could work differently since they were not tied to the moon like we were.

It still bothered me how little I knew about the Kitsune. But I had learned one new thing now. Their fire could not burn Karlheinz-sama. It was even possible that any Vampire could survive the flames, but I was not too eager to try that out. I would prefer Yuriko to be happy and not need her fire at all. It seemed to only come out when she was upset which was not the course I wish to take.

A sigh left my lips before I was able to prevent it. Instantly, Yuriko raised her gaze from the book and locked her teal orbs with mine.

“Umh… everything okay, Ruki? Did I turn the page too fast… or was I being too slow?” Her teeth dug into her plump bottom lip. Immediately, I lifted my hand and brushed my thumb over the rosy petal.

“Do not hurt what is mine.” I leaned in, pecking her mouth. The temptation was too much, and I ended up pulling her lip with mine. “No, you were not too fast or too slow. I was simply lost in thoughts. You can continue reading if you wish.”

But Yuriko tilted her head and kissed my thumb. “What were you thinking about?” She turned, closed the book, and put it on the table before meandering around and sitting on my lap. As she faced me, her warm fingertips traced my cheeks. The air thickened with the genuine worry she radiated. What had I ever done to deserve all this cherishing?

The answer was nothing. I did not deserve her. As simple as that. Yet I would not let go of her, for she would be mine forever. That might be selfish of me, but I did not care. I had found the one thing I wanted more than anything in this world so I would keep it. I was incredibly lucky that she did not fight back. At least not anymore.

“Ruki?” The chirp from Yuriko made me realize I had not answered her inquiry. 

“Haa… I do not wish to worry you. But I do not like what happened during the dinner.” Yuriko opened her mouth as she heard my words, but I pressed my index finger against her lips. “It is not your fault, so do not apologize. I will discuss this with Sakamaki Shu. Perhaps, we can find another solution that will please Karlheinz-sama, for I wish not to involve you with those arrogant aristocrats.”

“Umh… aren’t you an aristocrat too?” Yuriko spoke against my finger. The soft movement vibrated on my skin, making me want to push that digit into her wet cavern and force her to moan instead of talking. “Not… that I want to work with Shu-san, but I don’t wish to offend Karlheinz-sama either.”

Always so well-mannered. I had to admit I enjoyed this side of her. Unlike many others, she knew how to behave in the company of other people. Of course, she also lost her temper at times, but mostly she tried to be a good girl. My good girl.

“Haa… yes, I was an aristocrat… but that was in the past and I am not so proud of those days…” I brushed a wayward curl behind Yuriko’s ear. “Neither of us wants to offend Karlheinz-sama, but do not worry, I will arrange this in one way or another.”

“So… so… I don’t have to… try to burn… Shu-san…?” Teal started to pool. Yuriko would not want to hurt a fly, I was sure of it.

I nodded. “I promise. You should learn to call that flare of yours, but only use it for the intentions that feel right in your heart.”

“Alright, then I won’t —”

Yuriko’s phone vibrated on the table. Both of us turned our heads toward it, seeing a name appearing on the screen. I could not push aside the tenseness that instantly slithered to my temples. “It seems Elizabeth misses you.”

“Umh… Yes… We haven’t been texting for a while. I wonder if everything is okay…” Yuriko reached out, picking up the phone. For a moment, I admired her thumb work with the screen when she tapped her secret code so fast that a Vampire would be proud of her. It did not stop me from memorizing the series of numbers though. Just in case.

“Is she well?” I asked as Yuriko went quiet and stared at the phone, her brows knitting tighter and tighter together. Although the answer was quite clearly no with the way her face wrinkled, I wished to hear her tell me the news directly.

Yuriko sighed and turned the screen toward me. Leaning in, I read what the zombie girl had scribbled to her, secretly adoring the fact Yuriko was willingly showing me the conversation.

Yuri-Yuri! Big News!!!  Σ(°ロ°) I’m not living with the Sakamakis anymore! Because Shin came for me when the Sakamakis were out with Yui. I can’t believe it! (°ロ°) ! Currently, I’m in the Tsukinami mansion, even sharing the bedroom with Shin. So, don’t be worried. Everything is okay. I just don’t know if I can come to school when the semester starts but I try to talk about it with Shin and Carla.

“I… I think Shin kidnapped Eli-chan…” Yuriko patted her lips with her finger. “Though… is it a kidnapping if Eli-chan wanted to go with him? She doesn’t sound like she is hurt and kept against her will… but I’m a bit worried if this will cause trouble…”

“You should not worry yourself too much with the matters of others. Elizabeth seems to be fond of that Founder after all.” Even with what I said, I was conflicted. It would have been better if Yuriko had not paid attention to this occurrence, but it was strange that this happened right after I had had a conversation about the First Bloods with Karlheinz-sama. So far, those two had not made any moves that would have bothered anyone, but this… “Elizabeth was living in the Sakamaki mansion, was she not?”

Yuriko nodded to my words. “Yes, yes, she was. I met her when you were away and honestly, the meeting made me worried. She had punctual marks on her hands and —”

I chuckled. “You are rather marked yourself. It is not a reason to stress when someone is living with the Vampires.”

“But this was different! Those weren’t bite marks, I would have recognized one. And she said that Reiji-san was doing experiments for her…”

“Is that so?” I frowned. “Then you do not need to worry. That Founder clearly saved her from bad treatment.”

Reiji was doing research with Elizabeth? This piece of information nudged something in me, it felt important even though I could not put my finger into it. Still, there must be a meaning behind it because Reiji rarely did anything simply for the sake of it. Perhaps, studying poisons and drinking tea, but not something like this. I doubted it. And punctual marks could mean he had either injected something in Yuriko’s tiny friend or taken her blood. Maybe he was making a new type of poison out of zombies’ blood.

I almost shook my head but stopped at the last second. Yuriko did not need to see my inner turmoil. Instead, I caressed her cheek and smiled at her. “Do not burden yourself with nothing. Your friend is safe now.”

In the hands of the Founders. Were they scheming or did that insolent fool truly have feelings for that zombie like Yuriko had told me?

“I… I could write back and ask for the address. Then I could visit her to see if everything is okay with her and Shin.” Yuriko locked her gaze with mine.

“Absolutely not. You do not do such a thing.” I grabbed her chin. “Tsukinami Shin helped us once but that is no reason to get too familiar with him. Your friend chose to be with him but that is on her. You may write her and wish her good luck, but you are not to visit her.”

I would not let my angel enter the dwelling of the First Bloods. No amount of pleading gazes would make me change my mind about this. Those two were enemies of Karlheinz-sama and without a doubt plotting something. Elizabeth might even play a role in it. Why else had they gotten her out of the Sakamaki mansion just now? There was a bigger meaning behind it, and it was better to keep Yuriko out of it.

“Let us focus on something else now. My brothers are not at home, but you still need dinner. Come with me in the kitchen to cook together this time.” I picked up the phone from Yuriko’s hands and pecked her lips once more. “What would you like to eat?”

“Is the salad not to your liking perhaps?” I set my fork on the table, laying my gaze on Yuriko who stared out of the window while poking her bowl. She flinched at my words and hastily stuffed a forkful into her mouth.

After a while, she swallowed. “Mhm… that’s not it…” 

“Then what is it? It is not like you to be picky with your meal.” Usually, it was the opposite. Yuriko never complained about my choice of dinner, unlike my brothers who were not shy to express their distaste if something was not as they wished. But no matter what I put in front of Yuriko, she ate and complimented it. Sometimes I wondered if she even had a favorite dish.

But today, Yuriko had emptied only half of her bowl, forgetting to lift her fork lost in thought. I did not like that.

“Umh…” Yuriko squirmed in her chair. “There is just so much… going on…”

Nodding, I sighed, for she was not wrong. I rather would have her not to anguish but it seemed she was a natural worrier. “Everything will be alright.”

I wanted to believe that. But… the First Bloods, Karlheinz-sama and now Elizabeth… It was like our blue sky was about to be covered with deep gray clouds. Other than me visiting Eden, we had been living in our personal bubble these few weeks. It had been like we had gotten a paradise of our own but now other people wanted to pull us from there. There were days when I wished I could have taken Yuriko and left this place for good to have our peace.

Yet I could not do that to Karlheinz-sama. 

Still, before the rising storm would hit us, we could have our piece of heaven. “It seems like your master needs to entertain you a little~ But first, I will fix us some iced tea.”

Getting up from the table, I gathered our bowls. I covered Yuriko’s with plastic and slipped it in the fridge, grabbing the bottle of green tea I had purchased for her. I was sure I had made ice cubes before and a peek into the freezer revealed that I was not wrong. On another occasion, I would have simmered the tea myself and let it cool down slowly, but I did not wish to wait for hours for it to be ready.

As I clattered some of the ice cubes in a tall glass, I stopped staring at the view. Perhaps… Yes, it could be fun indeed and would surely keep both of us busy. 

“How thirsty are you?” My back turned at Yuriko, I clipped my belt open and pulled it off with a slow, quiet movement, making sure the buckle did not give out a noise when I placed it on the counter next to the glass.

“Umh… not very…” 

That was the exact answer I wanted to hear. “Perhaps you should get up then.”

Turning around, I laid my eyes on Yuriko. She pushed herself up and arranged the hem of her light summer dress that was almost see-through. Baby blue fabric complimented her hair, but I wanted to get rid of it.

I stepped closer and brushed a curl behind Yuriko’s ear, revealing a faded bite mark on the column of her neck.

“I know you worry… and that you have suffered, especially lately.” I placed a kiss on Yuriko’s partly open lips. “But I do not want you to hide anything from me. I will find a way to soothe you, make you feel pure. So put your trust in me. I will satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart.”

“Eh?”

I loved the innocent face Yuriko was giving me. Those teal eyes that gazed at me were full of unvoiced questions.

“I will take good care of you, I promise. Now, undress for me. Will you?”

“He-here?”

“Yes. I told you. No one else is at home.” As a cue, I pulled off my t-shirt and tossed it over the backrest of a chair. “I will not say it twice.”

“But… but…” Yuriko squirmed before me, and the sweet shade of fresh roses spread on her face.

“Be a good girl…” I brushed my thumb over her lips and when she smiled, I pushed it past them, letting it sink into her wet cavern and enjoying the soft touch of her tiny tongue. “Be a good girl and I will reward you.”

Yuriko blinked, sucking my thumb. I remembered well how that tongue felt on something else, and the mere thought made me smirk. But today, I was up for something else. She would be my delicious dessert, not the other way around. As I pulled my finger out, her mouth made a plopping sound. 

I watched as Yuriko lifted her hands, pushing the straps of her dress down her upper arms. The cloth slithered along her body and piled around her ankles, covering her bare toes. Her bosom heaved under a white lace bra while the rosy buds under the fabric started to peak through it.

“Such an enjoyable sight. Now, take off your bra.” Keeping my eyes on Yuriko, I relished in the tone of her face which only grew deeper. She let her hand travel behind her back, clipping the hooks of her lingerie open and letting the lace piece drop. Her perky breasts bounced with the movement. Only slightly, but I made sure I did not miss a single shift.

“Good girl.” It was amusing how visibly more flushed my words made Yuriko. “Turn your back on me.”

A confusion swiped over her face, but she did as told. I grabbed my belt on the counter and roamed closer. “Do you trust me? Completely?”

“Yes, Ruki, I do.” Yuriko’s voice was a symphony of temptation to my ears.

Running my finger along her arm, I leaned in, close to her ear. “And do you remember what to say if you do not enjoy what I am doing?”

Yuriko shivered. “Umh… yes?”

“And what is that?” I breathed into her hair.

“Soup.” The word came out firm.

“That is right.” Before I knew it, a smile had already occupied my lips. “Say it loud and clear if needed. Do not hesitate. Is that clear?”

“Yes.”

Nuzzling her hair, I gave a teasing nibble to Yuriko’s earlobe. “That is my good girl.”

I collected Yuriko’s arms and hauled them behind her back. She tensed as I started to secure them with my belt but did not fight back. I loved how obedient she was and always willing to explore things I suggested to her. 

After tightening the belt, I whirled Yuriko around, meeting her wide eyes and flustered cheeks. “You look so beautiful right now.”

“Umh… that’s a bit…”

Pressing my index finger on her lips, I shook my head. “Do not deny it. And stay still.”

I took a step back and caught the glass from the counter, moving it on the table next to us. Fishing one of the ice cubes there, I monitored Yuriko. She did not move but I could see how her breasts went up and down along with her breathing. 

“Let us see how long you can stay silent…” Lifting the ice cube, I inched closer again. Yuriko swallowed and nodded, her muscles visibly stiffening. Adoring her reaction, I pressed the cube gently on her chest. In the instant, her skin was covered with tiny bumps and a gasp slipped past her lips. 

Sliding the cube down, I advanced her breasts. Yuriko squirmed but did not back down as I glided the ice on her cleavage, gazing at the rivulet that slithered down the valley toward her belly button. With circling movements, I started to caress one of the perky mounds with the ice cube, watching how her nipple grew harder and harder. I brought the cube right next to it, and Yuriko inhaled deeply, locking her breath in. The anticipation made her tense even more.

Taking my time, I slid the ice over the tip of her breast. Yuriko gaped, her eyes widening even more but she managed to keep her voice down. Watching her struggle like this was quite intriguing, and I could not help but wonder how much she could take.

Moving the ice over the other breast of hers, I captured the bud of the first one into my mouth. It was hard and cold against my tongue. Sucking it, I started to tease the other with the cube. Yuriko whimpered but soon, swallowed. Grazing the tip with my fangs, I glanced up. Yuriko quivered, pressing her lips together all flushed. Her eyes met mine, and in that moment a thick aroma of her lust wafted in my nose. 

“Hmmm, enjoying yourself?” I pressed a kiss on her nipple while circling the ice around the other one. I got only a trembling whine as an answer. It was adoring how hard Yuriko tried to stay silent.

Crouching in front of her, I moved the ice under Yuriko’s breast. Without hurry, I trailed it on her belly, watching how she shivered. She tried to pull her stomach in when I reached her belly button but there was no escaping the cooling sensation I tormented her with.

I kissed Yuriko’s abdomen, allowing my gaze to travel south. It was impossible not to smirk when I saw a soaked spot on her panties. “That turned you on, did it not?” I traced the waistband of her tanga, seeing how melting ice made the fabric moist and Yuriko squirm. “It seems that the last piece of your clothing is rather wet. Isn’t that uncomfortable?”

“...umh…”

I chuckled. “You are allowed to speak.”

“I… I… a little bit…” Even Yuriko’s voice was shuddering. 

“Hmm… perhaps your master should help you out then…” 

With one swift sway of my hand, I tore the cotton with lace rims and tossed it on the floor. Yuriko’s knees buckled but she managed to balance while I inhaled deeply the luscious scent that lingered from her. It was not even the call of her blood but something else, something equally delicious. Watching her, I glided the ice on her bluish curls between her legs. 

“Oh my gosh!” Yuriko pressed her thighs together and whimpered.

“Shh…” I continued dampening the swirls even more, not minding her meandering. Her aroma was getting stronger, making my pants feel way too tight. Soon, I could not deny my own yearning to shove myself deep into her dewy depths. But first, I wanted to play a bit more, so I tugged down the zipper, relieving the squeeze. 

I tried to nudge my hand between Yuriko’s thighs, but she kept clenching them together. “Are you preventing your master from touching you? I cannot have that…”

Straightening up, I gazed at the woman who shivered before me. Without a doubt, she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Seeing her giving herself into my care, filled me with a joy I had not felt earlier in my life. Nothing compared with the warmth she spread into my endless life that was not so dull anymore.

I dropped the rest of the ice cube back into the glass and grabbed Yuriko by her waist. Hurling her over, I shoved her upper body against the nearby counter, pressing it down. She looked adorable toeing there.

“Hmm… that must be a little uncomfortable for you. A tiny punishment for your disobedience.” Chuckling, I slapped her butt cheek and enjoyed the bounce. Her fingers curled while her wrists were still perfectly secured by my belt. But I was proud of how she managed to swallow her wails.

After spreading her legs, I let Yuriko wait while I captured a new ice cube from the glass. This time she did not try to press them back together. Such a good girl, learned her lesson so fast.

As I glided the ice cube on one of Yuriko’s butt cheeks, a small cry escaped her. Smirking, I realized I wanted to squeeze more out of her, a concert of moans meant for my ears only. Caressing her ass, I showered the squishy skin with kisses and inched the ice over the crevasse of her buttocks. Whimpering, she squirmed, but I kept her pressed against the counter.

Crouching again, I forced Yuriko’s legs even more apart, revealing her glistening petals before me. She smelled of hidden cravings I wished to indulge.

While I wetted her butt with melting ice, I nudged my way between her folds, licking over them and coating my tongue with her creamy lust. Her thighs clasped against my ears, making me chuckle.

“There is no way out now…” I let my words vibrate against the drowning sweetness of her pussy and continued sliding my tongue over her entrance, reaching for the pearl I wished to make weep for release.

I was rewarded with a deep moan, almost like a growl, when my mouth met the moist nub. I sucked it, teasing it with my teeth, gently, not wanting to hurt Yuriko. Her legs shook, her body arching, and she almost soaked my face with her juices. So eager. As I circled her clit with the tip of my tongue, my fingers slipped, losing the grip of the ice cube. Distantly, I heard it dropping on the floor, but I was beyond caring. 

“You taste like heaven.” My voice broke, and I started to eat Yuriko out, squeezing her thighs with both hands and keeping her in the tough position.

Moans filled the kitchen, entangling with Yuriko’s arching and meandering as she turned into a mess by my mouth. I sank my tongue into her, tasting her bliss and pushing my pants down at the same time. My boxers followed, and I could not help but grunt as the aching pressure eased slightly.

“Oh gosh! I… it’s too good! Ruki… I will…!” Yuriko’s pussy pulsated, and I pulled back, heaving. She let out a frustrated wail. “No… I was… I was so… Ruki… please?”

“No. You are not allowed to cum. Not yet.” I groaned, and her scent got only thicker. 

“But Ruki!” Yuriko meandered. I pressed my hand on the small of her back and straightened, gazing at her.

“Your master wants to fuck you, feeling every luscious clench of you. Meaning, you are only allowed to cum when I say so.” I paused, letting my message sink in. “Is that clear, Yuriko?”

“Ehh?! Umh… but… but… what if I can’t… hold back?”

“You can and you will.” I pressed a finger against her entrance and felt the throbbing. Dipping the digit in, I watched her. She flinched, her hands curling into fists and opening again. “And to make this especially delicious, we will train you a little more today.”

Using her juices, I soaked my finger dripping wet before gliding it up her folds and between her buttocks which instantly tensed. “You know what I mean, do you not?”

“I… I… know…” Yuriko quivered on the counter.

“Good. Keep your legs spread wide and take everything your master will give you.” Holding my length, I guided it toward her entrance and slowly nudged it. The heat felt almost unbearable and undownable at the same time. Gradually, inch by inch, I pushed in while circling her other hole with my wettened finger. She clenched, whining as I stretched her and filled her tight depths.

“Fuck, Yuriko!” I was fully in, feeling how her pussy embraced my shaft again and again as if she was already on the edge of her peak. Staying still, I inched my finger a little deeper and pulled it back. Working on her ass like this, I enjoyed every little whine she let out of her mouth, gaping and gasping every time my digit sank deeper. One day, I would thrust my cock there and conquer that part of her too. There would be nothing in her that would not belong to me. 

Finally, I began to move, keeping the same pace with my shaft and my finger. Yuriko wept, her walls clasping me with every lunge. I drowned in her thudding flesh, groaning and growling at how well she was taking me in. 

“Gosh! Please! I can’t…!”

“You… can…!” I shoved in faster and faster. Fuck! Her heat was going to be the end of me. Plucking my finger out, I seized Yuriko’s waist and thrust deep. My loins flared and my balls felt like exploding. “You want to cum?” I grunted, pulling almost completely out, and rammed in again. “How badly?”

“Ahh… Ruki…” Yuriko whined and moaned, sobbing. “So badly…!”

 Digging my fingers into her skin, I buried my shaft deep. “Beg… ngh… for it then.”

In the corners of my mind, I started to hope that Yuriko would beg and cum, for I could not hold much longer. Her closeness was too much, her tempting being too captivating and her squeeze too sweet.

“Ruki, I… I… I’m begging you… please, please… let me… cum!”

Heaving on her nape, I growled. “You can… cum now!” I opened my mouth and pierced Yuriko’s shoulder. She shrieked under me as her blood gushed onto my tongue, squirming and quivering while her pussy clenched so harshly my mind was blown away. Reaching the stars, I shot my load into her, shaking against her back while her liquid of life flowed into me. 

And just then… something warm and fuzzy, something soft and furry popped between us, tickling against my stomach. Slowly coming down from my high, I tried to comprehend. Shivering, Yuriko panted under me when I hastily sealed the new wound with my saliva and lifted my head. 

The first, I saw the ears. White and blue fox ears sticking out of her head. Glancing down, I noticed the blue tip of a tail that peeked under my stomach. A chuckle crumbled out of me as I pulled out and watched Yuriko. “That good?”

Sobbing and panting, she gazed at me over her shoulder and nodded. Behind her glasses, her amber eyes greeted me along with the deep blush on her cheeks. She had never looked more beautiful. All fucked and her inner being set free. I knew that no one else could ever satisfy me better… and I would make sure it would always be the other way around as well. Forever, I would keep her as mine.

With haste, I opened my belt, releasing Yuriko. I lifted her in my arms and teleported directly into our bedroom. I took her glasses, put them on the nightstand, and laid her on the bed, cuddling her and stroking her ears. Her tail swayed as I held her close.

“Yuriko…” My voice sounded strained in my own ears. “You have made me yours. I promise that I will cherish you. We will be together at all times, and I never let go of you, for you have made my dull life full and stolen my heart. I love you.”

Weeping sweetly, Yuriko curled against me. She wrapped her tiny arm around my body, pressing closer. “I love you too, Ruki. You are my greatest happiness.” 

I had found my luck and my answer. No matter what would happen I knew I would always choose Yuriko. Even if it would be our doom. For she was my everything.

[dragonnwriter]

Inviolable Bindings

AemondxAegonxFemOC

All Chapters Here!

Chapter 15

The next morning Viserra broke her fast in her own room but still her chambermaids out to fetch another brew of tansy tea. The fact that she had to send for it herself did not surprise her. It would only seem fitting that the king would not have had a second thought about the consequences of their actions the day before.

The fruit and cake brought on the tray were quick to fill her belly. Without delay, she had dressed in another pair of training leathers and looked over her blade from its use the day before. These clothes were much more worn than the other pair but it did not bother her in the least. If anything she found it amusing that today she looked more like a common born girl than one that belonged in the royal tower of the castle.

While braiding and securing her hair at the nape of her neck, she felt a bit of excitement for this morning’s training. The last time she had met with Aemond in the yard, his ego had prevented them from truly learning from each other. Today would hopefully turn out to be different.

Stepping out into the open hallway, the chilled morning air brought goosebumps all over her body. Viserra quickly made her way to the yard without much interruption and found that Aemond was already training with Ser Criston Cole. Approaching quietly as to not disturb them, she took a seat on a nearby bale of hay.

Viserra soon realized she enjoyed watching the way Aemond fought, he was truly skilled and he easily avoided the Lord Commander’s heavy sword. While his movements didn’t seem as quick as hers, she noticed he was quite light on his feet. It appeared to take little effort for him to dodge the offensive swings coming his direction.

Aemond had Cole yielding in a few moments time. After giving his sparring partner a nod, he quickly sheathed his sword and brought his eye up to her for the first time.

“You are late,” he greeted, the slightest hint of a smile tugging at his mouth.

Viserra did not return his smile but replied quickly, “You had said morning, it is still morning. I see you have started without me.” She glanced over at the knight, who looked at them both with an uncomfortable level of intensity.

Aemond walked to her, hands behind his back and his lips coming to form a smirk. He offered his hand to her, a gesture that Viserra chose to outright ignore. His smirk turned into a firm stare and she chose to ignore that too.

“Is the Lord Commander going to be present throughout our training this morning?” She asked Aemond, avoiding the gaze of the knight.

“I do not wish to cross swords with a woman.” Cole replied to the Prince, but Viserra shot him a dirty look as if she were surprised at his audacity.

“I have no intentions to cross swords with you either. Though I thought we might both spar with the prince so we can practice dueling with more than one skilled fighter at time.” She was irritated by his sudden attitude, knowing that she had not ever given him a valid reason to dislike her.

Cole shifted his weight and spoke again, this time to Viserra, “Do you doubt my abilities in training the prince, My Lady?”

“I did not say anything of the sort,” Viserra replied, “But it is not you who is unfamiliar with his sword skill. I thought it best to familiarize myself with his technique before aiding him on the battlefield.”

Both held each other’s stare and the silence in the air was not broken until Aemond spoke up.

“You may go,” Aemond said, looking to the knight who seemed to be surprised by the dismissal.

Seeming to struggle with following the command, he met Viserra’s eyes once more with a slightly apprehensive expression. Then, with a quick bow, finally took his leave.

Viserra looked back to Aemond and unsheathed her sword, “I do not enjoy my mood being soured so early upon waking.”

Aemond turned the corners of his lips up at her comment and withdrew his blade as well, “You have a certain fire within you this morning, My Lady.” He smirked, giving her a once over with his eye.

“I do not have the patience for such insolence.”.

Aemond walked towards her, giving her a once over with his eye and twirling the sword in his hand. A smirk played on his face as he enjoyed the moment between them.

The sound of their blades clanging together echoed throughout the yard. Some looked on to watch their performance but everyone made an effort to stay out of their way. The Keep was still not used to having a woman wielding a weapon and it drew many observers, both approving and disapproving alike.

Their training lasted the better part of the morning, continuing on until they both found themselves hot and tired from the sun that was now directly overhead. Not surprisingly, Viserra had found that Aemond was quick to learn the way she moved. His focus and determination was unmatched, maybe only with the exception of herself.

Once both had sheathed their swords for the day, they took off into the castle without a destination in either of their minds. She thanked him for the books that he had given to her days before, discussing some of the things she had learned. It had especially pleased her to read more about her grandmother and the spirited aunt that was her namesake. The libraries of her home did not have such details of the more recent Targaryen history and her grandmother had always avoided discussing the matters when she had brought them up.

After a long while of walking, they had almost reached the Serpentine Steps when Aemond noticed his brother leaning on a column at the bottom of the stairs. He was watching them both with an amused and crooked smile. Aemond suddenly stopped speaking and his posture stiffened, trying to hide his irritation at the interruption and the expression worn on his brother’s face.

“Do you need something, Brother?” Aemond questioned, his neutral expression unwavering.

“Is a king not allowed to roam the halls of his castle?” Aegon asked the pair, coming off of the column and joining them, “I was informed that you both were training and came to watch myself, but when I arrived neither of you were there.” Aegon looked to Viserra next and spoke to her,.“I did not have the opportunity to see him sparring with you again, do you think he will suffice on the battlefield?”

The statement was clearly a jest, but they both knew Aemond wouldn’t take it as such. Viserra looked back to Aemond and watched his jaw tighten, but as usual, he did not let himself lash out at the comment.

“You need not worry about either of us on the battlefield,” she responded in hopes of diffusing the tension, "We will manage quite well.”

The answer seemed to satisfy both parties and Aegon then diverted his attention solely to Viserra.

“Tomorrow we shall celebrate and feast in my brother’s honor. I sent the dressmaker to find you this morning, have you seen her?” Aegon asked in all seriousness.

Briefly thinking about the armor that she had requested, there was a certain excitement that started to bubble within her. “No, I did not see her but will make a point to find her.”

“I might have mentioned to her that you could use a few more gowns,” Aegon responded with a wide and proud smile on his face. “We cannot have you in pants and leathers during a grand feast.”

Viserra took just the slightest offense at the comment, furrowing her brows again before speaking, “What makes you think I would wear my leathers to a feast?”

He only chucked at her response.

“I am not a heathen, I know how to dress myself for a party.”

Aegon clasped his hands together, “Excellent! I look forward to it,” he finished, smiling again and walking in the opposite direction the other two were headed.

Aemond’s jaw remained tense until his brother was completely out of sight. Unfortunately, Aegon seemed to be very skilled at ruffling the feathers of those around him.

“I do not think you could be any more different from each other,” Viserra commented, giving Aemond a smile in an attempt to lighten the mood, “You do understand that he will  need you when death and war is upon us. At some point the seriousness of your family’s actions will look him directly in the face.”

Aemond did not reply, but his face softened. Giving her a small nod, it seemed that he understood the words. The dynamic between the brothers was complex and had been built on their birth rights and responsibilities. One was given everything for simply being the first born son and the other had to work hard for only a fraction of it all.

Climbing the steps, they both naturally moved towards the Queen's chambers. Viserra contemplated her lack of time spent with Helaena in the past few days, and Aemond seemed to be pondering similar thoughts. Though they did not speak until they reached the guards stationed in front of her doors.

“Ziry gīmigon hen īlva.” She knows of us. Viserra admitted in a whisper, looking back to Aemond at the same time they were let inside the room.

The previously calm and neutral expression on Aemond’s face turned into one of surprise and confusion, “What?”

Viserra did not reply.

Helaena was sitting on the settee, embroidery in hand. When she looked up to see both of their familiar faces, her own lit up with a big smile. Viserra almost immediately went to take a seat next to her while Aemond slowly made his way over.

“I was hoping that you would come by today,” Helaena beamed while alternating her gaze between the two, “The children have been with the nursemaids most of the morning and I have been rather alone.”

Viserra smiled at her,  “Aemond and I were training today. I believe we both feel rather anxious about the lack of action being taken by the council right now.”

With her words, Helaena’s once chipper face had softened into one of concern, “Indeed.”

They all held a moment of silence before quickly turning the topic of conversation. Viserra asked Helaena about her most recent needlework and the queen was more than eager to show her. Content being quiet in their presence, Aemond sat in one of the armchairs and entertained himself with a book he had found sitting on the table.

The rest of the day went without any unwelcome surprises, but there was a shared uneasiness between them. When nightfall came and they retired to their own chambers, the stillness that occupied the castle was unsettling. Both Elia and Cassella seemed a bit more on edge and she tried to ignore the gnawing pit in her stomach. Every fiber of her being felt like it should be doing something other than sitting around and waiting for an unnecessary feast to be held.

When she woke in the morning, Viserra was surprised that all seemed to be in order with nothing amiss. The usual small tray of food had been brought to her chambers and she was more than happy to eat by herself. 

As planned, another round of training with Aemond took place smoothly and without distraction. She did not let the morning drag on with the anticipation of needing to be ready for the day’s feast.

No sooner had she walked back into her own chambers, she realized the dressmaker was talking with her chambermaids and had hung up two new dresses for all to see. One was deep red in color, simple yet elegant, something that reminded her of dresses she wore in Volantis. The other black, much more Westerosi style, with a collar and silver embellishments on the shoulders.

Much to Viserra’s surprise, she was rather pleased with the gowns that had been presented. Initially she had been irritated at the gesture that Aegon had sent for more of them. It wasn’t until she saw the beauty of them that she felt just the slightest bit flattered. Thanks were given to the dressmaker before she sat down to wait for her bath to be readied. Relaxing into the settee, she was content reading and munching on a few bites of food to hold her over for the afternoon.

Viserra took her time in the bath, soaking in her favorite oils and enjoying the heat around her body. She continued at that pace while letting Elia and Cassella help her get ready.

Both gowns were stunning. She felt compelled to try on each one, carefully examining herself in the mirror before settling on a final choice. In the end, she opted for the crimson dress. Its revealing fabric skillfully highlighted her curves, draping flawlessly over her figure. It occurred to her that Aegon might have been playfully challenging her, seeing if she would indeed pick the gown that would set her apart from the other Westerosi women at court. It would undoubtedly spark some judgment.

Nevertheless, others were always talking. The gazes and hushed whispers that followed her wherever she went had not gone unnoticed. This was not a surprise though, as her demeanor, dress, and choice of activities were all easy topics to gossip about. In truth, it did not bother her, each look seemed to fuel her ever simmering fire.

Until it was time to dress for the feast, Viserra lounged comfortably in her robe. She let the girls help her back into the red gown, slipping it carefully over her head and securing the little buttons on the side that held it to her body. From a large assortment of accessories, she chose a set of beautiful black shoulder pauldrons. Their design and placement reminded her of her own dragon’s scales and in turn she felt it would represent her well. 

Elia had expressed a desire to fashion her hair into an elaborate braid, proposing a style that twirled intricately around the crown of her head. Viserra, however, gently declined the suggestion, opting instead for something much more simple. She asked for just two small strands at the front to be braided, neatly secured together in the back with a pin. Though Elia appeared slightly disappointed, only a hint of it surfaced as Viserra made her choice.

Casella, on the other hand, was insistent on helping her cover the faded purple marks on her neck. Although she was not initially concerned about them, the constant nagging had made her think twice about their appearance. Finally, she gave in and let the girl fix her up as she desired.

Once put together, Viserra sought out a small metal container from a shelf on her wardrobe. In Volantis, many of the women lined their eyes lightly with pressed powder made from coal. The plain faces of the noble ladies here in court did not go unnoticed by her. Though sometimes they wore rouge on their cheeks or lips, she thought it rather boring

Viserra carefully lined her eyes and rouged her lips, content that she had not forsaken her roots when dressing that night. While Targaryen by blood, Viserra would not forget the culture which she grew up in. Volantene customs would always be something she preferred, finding Westerosi standards to be too uptight and not make much sense.

Taking one last look at herself in the mirror, she couldn’t help but smile at how well she had readied herself. If Aegon had concerns about her not showing up dressed to standards, he would be shocked by her presentation now. She intended to show the court how the Volentene women showed up to grand parties. 

Motioning to the belt and sword laying against the wardrobe, Cassella was the one to fetch it for her. She helped her situate it to fit nicely against the fabric of her gown, something that Viserra didn’t realize would take the work of two people.

“What do you think?” She asked, brushing out her dress and feeling satisfied how the weapon sat on her hip.

“Oh! You look absolutely stunning, m’lady!” Elia chimed back and Cassella nodded in agreement.

Smiling back at them Viserra returned the nod, “Do you happen to know what time the feast will begin?” She realized that she had not been given any instruction on when to join them in the Great Hall.

“We were informed that someone will come to fetch you when it is time but you are not to leave sooner.” Cassella replied, wincing slightly as she was unsure of how that answer would fare with her.

Fortunately for her, the comment made Viserra let out a little laugh, “Of course.” She was not surprised that the timing of her entrance would most likely be intentional. Everything in this castle was meticulously planned when it came to the appearance of the public eye.

Viserra took to the settee, intending on sitting down and possibly opening a book while waiting to be summoned. She was only a few paces away when a knock came to the chambers doors. Had her timing been so perfect?

“Yes?” She asked, loud enough to hear from the other side. One of the doors opened in response, swinging wide and revealing the visitor who let himself into the room.

The one-eyed prince had cleaned up from the morning just as Viserra had. She had noticed that most of the time he seemed to choose almost identical outfits no matter the occasion. However, this afternoon he was dressed in a studded leather tunic that bore a gold Targaryen sigil on the chest. His hair was bound half up in its usual fashion, not a single flyaway or hair out of place. The dark brown eyepatch neatly laid across his face, covering the sapphire stone that hid just beneath.

Looking down at her own gown and bringing her eyes back up to the Prince, Viserra let the corners of her mouth turn upwards into a smirk.

“You look handsome,” she said lightly, taking a few steps in his direction.

Viserra watched as his posture stiffened at the comment. As she approached him, his eye seemed to be struggling to look elsewhere except her figure. When he finally brought his gaze up to hers, his expression somehow remained neutral and hid what the tension in his jaw could not.

“Are you the one who is to be fetching me for the party or am I waiting for someone else?” Viserra teased, knowing well enough he did not enjoy being the subject of a jest.

Aemond straightened up even more, keeping his eye locked with hers. “My mother requested that we join the feast together tonight. She believes that the display of us dragon riders coming in side by side will instill the confidence of the lords and ladies of the court. It was announced to them this morning that you are here to be an instrumental piece in fighting this war. As you know, many have their concerns about a woman being so heavily involved in battle.” His words came out precise and almost rehearsed, “Though I must say, I half expected you to be dressed in a pair of leathers for the feast.” He took another step towards her to close the distance between them, leaning in to whisper in her ear, “Though I am surprised at your choice in dress, you won’t hear any complaints coming from me.”

Feeling Aemond’s breath near her neck sent shivers down her spine and her small smirk widened, “Is your betrothed going to be in attendance tonight?” Viserra quipped, giving herself some distance between them and looking back with her eyebrows raised.

“Hm.” The sound came from Aemond’s closed mouth as he once again straightened his posture. He continued on without answering her, offering her his arm. “Let us leave before the hall is so full that we become a true spectacle.”

There didn’t need to be any further confirmation from him of his betrothed’s presence at the feast. Though what intrigued Viserra most was the way Aemond seemed to sour at the mention of her. For a devoted and duteous man of the realm, it surprised her that the subject made him almost recoil.

Looking back at her chambermaids, Viserra gave them an authentic smile and a nod for dismissal. Reaching up, she took Aemond’s arm with her own, ignoring the usual dislike that she felt with such gestures.

“Do you think entering into the feast with me clinging onto your arm represents equal strength and power? Perhaps they will see me as less for letting a man take the lead in something as simple as a formal entrance.” She proposed her opinion without any hesitation in her steps alongside him.

Aemond did not slow his pace either, leading them out and down the steps. His voice came with sharp irritation that caught her by surprise, “Will it absolutely kill you to give up control for just one moment?”

“It is not about control, Aemond. There is much more to it than you would understand.” Viserra deflected, feeling herself start tense at the direction this conversation was headed. 

“To be escorted by a prince is an honor. You are a high born woman, you must find a way to act as such.”

“A high born woman, yes, but a proper lady by Westerosi standards, I am not, my Prince.” Viserra scoffed, trying a quick tug at getting her arm back only for him to hold it there. The next words that came from her mouth were sharp and hushed in their mother tongue, “Īlē daor proper se tolie bantis. Gaomagon ao gīmigon se angogon ao geptot va nyke isse qogror va se tegot?” You were not so concerned about being proper the other night. Have you forgotten the marks you left on my body while fucking me on the floor?

Aemond abruptly grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. In the blink of an eye he had briefly lost control of himself in a flash of anger. Viserra anticipated the fiery intensity that would meet her eyes when she looked at him and suppressed the urge to smirk in response. She held her gaze fiercely, letting him know that they would be evenly matched on this playing field.

“This is not the Free Cities, Viserra.” Aemond pressed, regaining control over himself as his voice still held strong and demanding, “There are traditions and customs here that are best to be followed.”

Viserra continued to hold her ground, pulling her wrist from his grasp and taking a small step back from him.

“I am a foreign born woman of Targaryen blood. I have been asked to stand by your side as a warrior and dragonrider, risking my own life to keep your brother on a throne in a kingdom that is not my own. Do you think I will earn the respect of the very men I lead in battle by being a proper lady? By upholding the Westerosi standards of what a woman should be? My own existence and purpose here goes against those very standards.” The words fell from Viserra’s lips, who seemed almost surprised that she had to be so blunt with them.

Aemond looked away briefly, the fire in his eye dying down as he processed the last few minutes of their interaction.

“I am a woman, Aemond. I have to earn the respect that you are freely given as a man. This remains true even if I wield the sword and ride a dragon the same as you.” Viserra sighed as her own voice softened. “Even Visenya was not immune to the discrimination bestowed upon her because she was not born with a cock.”

The wheels seemed to be turning in Aemond’s head as a brief silence fell between them. Once he overcame his internal battle and found the words, he offered his arm to her once more.

“If you would allow it, I would like to take you to the Great Hall on my arm,” Aemond started, “Once we reach the doors, if you desire, I will not escort you in but we will walk at each other’s side to the table where you will sit next to me.”

Viserra closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, holding it for a moment before letting it out. Once she realized the meaning behind his words, she looked back to him and gave him a small smile. He was quick and intelligent, portraying it without ever having to say more than was needed. She glanced at the offered arm for a moment, hesitating, but again ultimately deciding to take it. This time the gesture was given with his respect and she realized the offer was not for duty, but because he desired it.. 

As they approached the large doors, Aemond held to his words and gently let her arm free from his. While the hallway they were in only had a few servants scurrying about, the loud noises of music and people coming from the Great Hall were impossible to ignore.

The guards bowed their heads and turned to grant them entrance. Viserra had thought the noise had been loud outside of the doors, but it was nothing compared to when the wooden sound barrier was pulled back. It was then that she realized just how large of a party had been planned, and it was there that she stood at the entryway prepared to walk in with the guest of honor.

Author Notes:

Thank you for staying with me. Things will start to fall in place with the Dance of Dragons here shortly. I hope y'all like drama. :)

As always, here are my inspo for Viserra's new gown. I have been waiting to use this one!

Scalemail pauldrons that I am obsessed with because they have a choker.

This Etsy seller makes awesome scalemail items!

And the dress!

[pamgkrthwrites]

Hi, me again….. May I please request betrothed Nezha x Daki reader hcs? Arranged marriage to each other.

Like Daki as in demon slayer. Thought of it one day and now I couldn’t stop thinking about it if they were a couple

If u don’t watch demon slayer, Daki is a demon that basically has the same personality as Nezha but more intense, temperamental, and way more bratty.

*War flashbacks to people on anime tiktok talked about her* Yeah, I know who she is.

Support me here

Warning, the following content has disturbing themes such as; Arrange Marriage, and others. I do not support or encourage these themes or actions, they are merely written fictional events for entertainment. The character(s) depicted within this post are over the age of 20.

I think to get to this point, you would've had to be an immortal being. You wouldn't have to be a deity, a demon would also work.

I think the marriage would also have to happen early on in Nezha's second life. Their family forced them to marry you before they are 25 sort of deal.

I think at the wedding itself, Nezha is emotionally cold towards you. They don't like you or the situation they are in.

Though you two live in their Lotus palace, you two barely spend time together at the beginging of the marriage. At most you two would have dinner together and go to events together.

At the start, it's a loveless marriage.

The more you two have to spend your time together though, the more it turns into a friendship.

Love only start blooming when someone frames you for something.

This someone uses your brat like behavour agnist you. Which of course upset and angers you.

You and everyone else believes Nezha isn't going to side with you, considering they didn't want this marriage.

Instead, Nezha stands by you and yells at the person for dear lying about their partner. They will demand evidence, and when none can be provided, tell the person they are extremely lucky Jade Emperor isn't here or he'd have requested for this person's head.

Nezha walks you back to their palace, acting as if nothing has happened.

I think Nezha would've formed feelings for you by this point, but didn't want to overstep or make you feel comfortable.

So you will have to be the one to make it known you want the relationship to become romantic.

It starts with you two moving into the same bedroom together and going on dates.

What would end up being the actions that cemented you two being a romantic couple would be you two training/fighting together.

Once you two are romanticlly together, everyone does see a shift.

Nezha very much allowed you to be a brat, even encourgages it, defends it, and even mirrors it.

If you say someone along the lines of "These followers are barely up to standard", Nezha would pick up the vase and tip it upside down.

Aka, your bratiness rubs off on Nezha.

Expect gifts, a lot of them.

Though Nezha isn't the type to do PDA, when they do kiss you it has a lot of meaning and passion behind it.

Likes having matching outfits.

I honestly don't belive Nezha would be expecting kids, but kids are produced during the marriage, Nezha will be more of the sort of parent that has high expections for the children. Will help those children to that point, but still has high expections.

[familyabolisher]

re: your saló posts it’s been a while since i read it but i remember this larb article having good points to make about the delany book hogg and how many readers struggle to engage with disgust/recognize disgust as an intended and even productive reaction: https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/uses-of-displeasure-samuel-delany/

For Hogg, what they “done them women” is not “all right” — the sources of ethical disgust in the novel are existentially absurd and cannot be rationalized or theorized. To do so would be to deny participation in, and responsibility for, the disgusting that is inherent to an absurd and ethically irrational universe. Relativism doesn’t help, any more than Jimmy’s attempts to find terms that would render his actions (or ethics) less disgusting. The disgusting (mundane or extreme) is a physical fact of the world and must be contended with on its own quite immediate terms; it cannot be ignored, sequestered, or theorized from a safe distance. Hogg, then, is not only challenging readers to contend with their own impulses to deny or abstract their implication in the disgusting. He is also delivering a compelling metatextual case for Hogg’s own value as an aesthetic object.

[...]

In their introduction to a 2009 special issue of the journal Representations entitled “The Way We Read Now,” Stephen Best and Sharon Marcus advocate “surface reading” as an antidote to “symptomatic reading.” The latter presumes that what is valuable or meaningful in texts is “repressed, deep, and in need of detection and disclosure by an interpreter,” and thus, among other things, maintains the literary critic’s privileged status. For Best and Marcus, “a surface is what insists on being looked at rather than what we must train ourselves to see through,” and disgusting texts might level this insistence most effectively, as they produce such “intense consciousness of the object.” A significant aspect of surface reading’s value is, for Best and Marcus, its “[refusal] to celebrate or condemn” the object of study, and the very challenge that such a refusal presents to critics: “[A] true openness to all the potentials made available by texts is […] the best way to say anything accurate and true about them.” Rather than seeing the disgusting text as a symptom of ideology, an alternative practice like surface reading allows critics and texts to describe what is objectively “true” about the world, including that which is disgusting and disturbing.

i don't know that i'm 100% compelled by this argument that 'truth' or else honesty about the range of human experiences is the objective of that form of storytelling, or that 'truth' is to be uniquely sought from texts like lolita, hogg, salò; certainly salò and lolita are texts that persist far outside of their own immediate, literal narrative boundaries and are illuminated by the kind of interpretive work that would get you there, and lolita in particular relies heavily on a particular literary fluency that i suspect would group it with the former category rather than the latter, but i am interested in this suggestion that an approach to literature constricted by the liberal preoccupations of the academy which articulate a text as a set of metaphysical truths/properties to be unearthed stymies its capacity to tackle texts of this nature.

anyway this was a good read. thank you!

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

Something k said last night really has stuck in my mind.

We were brave and asked her if there is something on our side that could be causing this pattern. We asked her if how we tried to hold her accountable when she was our therapist was done okay, or if it comes across in a harmful way. Because at the time, she threw it back at us and called us abusive and our words harmful. We knew deep down we wrote it all with care, focusing on how her actions made us feel, and constantly saying we understand the cause of her behaviour and still love her anyway. But... it stuck in our head. And now there are patterns. So we asked. Knowing we should not necessarily trust her if she says we are abusive again.

She said we did nothing wrong at all. We never did. It was her, and people who can not take accountability will run away from us exceptionally fast. But that is not us doing something wrong, what we do is the right thing. She said we are incredibly good at holding people accountable, that we are too strong for most people, and they are not ready. They will run. They will not face their shit. She said there is also something about us that makes other people see and feel their own stuff- that when people connect to our energy, they also connect to their own, and that can be scary. We've had a lot of people say this before, and I love/hate it in equal parts. I love that we somehow make people wake up, and I hate that it means they often run away from us.

Then we asked more, to get a sense of how people (therapists mostly, or the few people who know more than just our functioning parts) perceive us... why does this pattern happen? Why are we getting so harmed? So many promises broken? What is our part in it?

First, she talked about how intense it can be, because of the size of our system, the level of trauma, she said "it's like 50 people coming at you at once.. and I don't mean coming at you like you were harmful, but just.. there's so much. I wasn't prepared, I don't think many specialists even are, and they get overwhelmed." She said again that is not our fault. This was disorientating to hear just because our default is always a level of denial. We are always so fucking confused when things like this happen, and to hear her explain it like this on the outside.. it's so confronting. What do you mean? Why would you be overwhelmed if it's not even real?

Secondly she talked about something that happens which she believes is to do with the RAMC. Where she would get sucked in to our denial and avoidance, confusion.. like in to another world, so no "real work" ever really happened. Other dramas between us would be created and she'd always feel like.. how is this happening? She said she almost felt programmed in response. Our longterm therapist before her said the exact same, so this... I mean, it was disorientating and validating and heartbreaking and frustrating all at once. Like it cleared some fog for us. But then just even more unfairness. Like. These are our therapists. They should have not got lost with us. Will anyone ever be able to help us heal? Are we too broken? Can we do therapy "right"?

But, this is what stuck with me most.. she said this is something she's been scared of sharing with me, knowing it would be triggering (for RAMC stuff)...

She talked about this intense dark energy we have all around us. She said nowadays, where she's trained more, more experience with DID, she can understand all the parts stuff, all the theories, all the work she does with other clients. But this dark energy, and how connected to it she is with us, she can not understand and it disturbs her and part of what played in to the shit in our relationship. She said how she dreams about it, still, in detail... and she doesn't understand. We talked around spirituality, and our connection, all the nice magical signs we used to talk about that we've had our whole life before we knew each other, like a sign we were meant to find each other and we both said perhaps her being so connected to our darkness is the other side of that inexplicable connection. She went in to more detail... at one point we went quiet and she was worried she triggered us mentioning religion. Or that we thought she could be part of the abuser group. Which is always gonna be a thing for some parts. Especially if she starts saying shit like religion and exorcism. But it wasn't that. We were just struggling to remember the dark energy isn't US. She reassured us it's not. She said we are the light, that is why we survived, that is why we keep surviving, that is why our heart is so good. We asked if everyone close to us will feel it? We know most people dont.. we get comments on the opposite, on how we have such a calming energy, people use the word "light" for us so often. But do the few who really know us, feel this? Do they see darkness when we walk in a room? She said she can't answer for everyone, but she imagines they may not see darkness, but many will feel overwhelm, and again how that is not our fault, simply the result of what we carry.

She said that she just wants to help get rid of this huge heavy darkness around us. That she's never seen with anyone ever.... ouch. It just feels personal. I know its not. I know it's put on us. But it feels heavy.

At the same time it was validating and uplifting.. to name it. We feel it. We've seen body workers who mention it. And lately this past week, we've intuitively needed to go to large open spaces and lay on the ground and ask the earth to just absorb some of the darkness. It is so fucking heavy. It is like drowning. Hearing her name it felt hurtful but also hopeful.. like.. it's named.. now we can tackle it. We even did a kind of visual somatic thing together and it was wildly wildly powerful. It always is when we do it together. Which aligns to what she says about how she is so connected to our stuff in some weird spiritual level way even when we arent in contact.. the dreams she has.. it's wild and creepy. So when we do these somatic things, she feels it in her body too and we release it together. Which, I know many practitioners do to an extent, they are tuning in to our feelings and can feel what we do in our body sometimes. But with her it's like another level, and we do some kind of magic at times.

I am cautious to listen to her. I know she has been so damaging. But I know myself and know what of hers to listen to and what not, these days. This felt aligned.

I want S. I need S. Child parts especially. I need us to repair. I need it to be okay. She is so much more healing, comforting, secure, consistent, stable.... or was. Until now. Everything in me needs us to work it out and be okay together again. But while we are not, we need something, someone, and K is what we have. I wish wish wish we didnt need anyone. I wish we could just heal ourselves.. I wish when this attachment pain screams we could soothe it completely alone... but I can't. Not yet. I've come so far. So far. And we do soothe each other. We work so hard. And we can handle little triggers, smaller attachment pain, even big attachment pain when there's more than one attachment person in our life. But when this happens? When it seems there is NO ONE? We can't. We just can not. It is too big to soothe alone. And right or wrong we still choose the very questionable attachment figure over none. For now. Carefully.

[aurorasulphur]

First off, glad to see the DDDNE poll picking up speed in circles beyond my own.

Second, absolutely fascinated by the sheer variety of the nuanced explanations. (Idk what I expected, on this, the “my opinion is slightly different from everyone else’s” website.)

Third, I’m surprised and a little unsettled by the implied judgment in so many of the replies. Again, idk what I expected. Caveat that I’m both a linguist and a person from the USA, so sometimes my descriptivist training is at war with my stubborn “words mean SPECIFIC THINGS” mentality.

Fourth, all signs so far point to the fact that the broad misunderstanding that the primary purpose of the tag is “to indicate a lack of in-text moral condemnation” comes STRAIGHT from the first paragraph of the Fanlore article as it appeared from mid-2020 to literally this week. (When I bumped the info about the conflicting meanings up into the bit that shows above the infobox on mobile.) I feel Some Kind Of Way about that, as it underlines how seriously we should take our Fanlore edits, as well as how few people actually read the whole dang article.

Fourth and a half, I can only find TWO sources (tweets) from before the mid-2020 Fanlore edit that indicate the speaker believes the most important aspect of the DDDNE tag is that it deals with “problematic” or “morally questionable” topics without condemning them in-text.

Fifth, I completely understand why that Fanlore editor framed it that way (it is a rephrasing of Mostlyvalid’s original statement, after all) but seeing hundreds of tweets quote the statement verbatim without seeming to understand THE REST OF THE ARTICLE is alarming. And, imo, this phrase “morally reprehensible” has unintentionally contributed to the vitriol aimed at people who write fics tagged with DDDNE.

Sixth, the point, to me, is that the fic tagged with DDDNE may or may not explicitly address in-text the fact that its contents are (or could be considered) unpleasant, uncomfortable, disturbing, extreme, inappropriate, illegal, intense, “problematic”, immoral, or taboo. The tag serves as a piece of metadata to send up a flag (outside the context of the story itself) that the reader should carefully consider if they want to read a story where the contents (whatever they may be) might be presented as something other than what they would be in reality. It does not mean the fic DEFINITELY “glorifies violence” or “romanticizes necrophilia” or whatever phrase the kids are using these days. (Which is what the fanlore statement about “morally reprehensible” implies, imo.) All it means is that the fic might not have a flashing sign saying “hey this is bad”, so you-the-reader need to exercise your critical thinking skills and decide for yourself whether to read it at all, and whether the actions in the fic are something you should emulate in your daily life. Which, honestly, you should be using your critical thinking skills to assess this for every fic you read, regardless of the tags.

Finally, DDDNE is just the fic equivalent of the safety pop up on websites and applications saying “hey, did you really mean to do this? Are you fully aware of the consequences of sending this data packet to the server like this? Did you know you misspelled your own name? Are you sure you meant to type Wasingtn and not Washington? Do you understand what you are agreeing to? Did you read the tags so you know what to expect? You have unsaved changes, do you wish to exit without saving?”

By opening a fic tagged DDDNE, you are saying: “I, the reader, understand that this fic tagged X (a thing most people would not want to be jumpscared by) will contain X, and the treatment of X may or may not be subverted, glossed over, or otherwise toned down to a skippable cutscene. I agree that this is a thing I want to read.”

It’s hard to boil that down to a pithy statement that appears in the broad-strokes intro of a wiki article!!!!!!