#IMPOSSIBLE LOVE

[vanalex]

The point of no return ...

Credit: drea.d.art | IG

[emmatgc]

Chapter 12- Wonderful World

“I DON'T NEED PROMISES” (Preferably for adults only. A bit of *Smut* is present. This is only for Seon Yul x Soo Hyun shippers)

“Till death do us part” - the lovebirds said. Soo Hyun is happy her ex husband found another love and hopefully, another family of his own. Congratulations, she said to the newly weds. It is a sunny day for a wedding. It took courage for her to attend but it took extra courage for them to attend together, Seon Yul and her. After that lovers spat, where it took both of them in an unspoken truth of fragile feelings, they promised to stay together and avoid secrets, if possible. They both understand the need to protect each other but the year is almost ending, and somehow their little secret, is taking its toll to people around them. They realized it cannot be this way for long. People can see, people talk. In this wedding, people actually did talk..a lot. One guest started it all. “My dear Soo Hyun, how wonderful for you to attend your ex husband’s wedding”, an old lady heavy on make up, probably a friend of the bride as Soo hyun never saw her ever before. All the more weird for her to reply but she did after-all. She smiled and said “yes, thanks”.

It was a tension filled sunny and windy afternoon and Seon Yul is the most uncomfortable of them all. He looks handsome in a tie and suit, perfect for his skin tone and brown eyes. Soo Hyun was breathless when he fetch her to go to the venue. Seon Yul didn’t talk much as he can see the piercing eyes upon him. It didn’t help that most of the guests are from the news channel’s company where in even that the last 6 years of news has been buried, some remembers. They can hear whispers “isn’t that boy the son of the one she murdered? Are they mad?. Every time they hear those words, their intertwined hands grows tighter and they grow closer as if they needed to protect each other from everything and anyone. They are united. Soo Hyun knows she is still a public figure but she is also a private one as she assumed and prefers to be left alone.

Driving her home, Seon Yul was still pretty much silent. He knows going into this relationship, this is bound to happen. His friend warned him “the world is not kind for your love story” he remembers hearing those words. Not only the nightmares are almost haunting him every night now, he hasn’t also told Soo hyun yet. He is avoiding the topic. He doesn’t want to burden her. Soo Hyun said “Im sorry” upon arriving at her home. He caressed softly her face and he in return, put a lock of her hair beyond her ear and replied “I am fine, don’t worry”. They kissed softly and bid each other goodnight and goodbye. 

“You traitor, how can you this to us? How can you love that murderer? She broke our family. She also killed me. What kind of a son are you?” His mom is strangling him in his dream. He woke up, panting and sweating. He can barely sleep 3 hours these days. Last time he dreamt of his uncle and now his mother. There must be a reason why he is having these nightmares after all these years. He wanted to call Soo hyun but its 3am and again, he doesn’t want to burden her with this.  He didn’t sleep after that and waited for the sun to rise and called some friends of his in his past life. He called a detective in charge of the case of his uncle Kim Joon. He wanted to know how is he and last time he heard , not sure that he was applying for a parole. What the detective told him send chills down his spine. “Son, don’t be surprised but in the coming days, his plea for a parole will be heard in court and he might do an interview if he is awarded that parole. They said for good behavior and national security purposes, the President wants to pardon him”. 

Seon Yul dropped his phone in shock. He thought deep. He needs to do something. He walks back and forth in his home , drinks water and walk again, thinking his next moves. It is over, he said but why does he feel unsafe and something is bound to happen again. His mind went straight to Soo Hyun, thinking about her safety. He texted her he has an emergency in the hospital and he has to work early and that he will call her later. He lied. He wanted to visit his uncle in prison. He wants to talk to him. He wants to see him now. 

“I want to see my uncle, Kim Joon” he said to the jail guard. The guard said he will ask first if he is expecting a visitor and when he came back, he opened the door for his entry. In a room, they can only talk behind a wall for his uncle is put in an intensive unit for high crimes unit. He sat down and waited for him. Handcuffed, and smiling he walked towards the glass separating him from Seon Yul and got the phone and said “Hello, Son”. He answered back “I am not your son”. Kim Joon fell from grace after that fateful night when his crimes were exposed 6 years ago. He has small grey hairs now but it seems his face lacks remorse as Seon Yul feels.

“My dear nephew, how are you? I heard you are seeing that woman, for real this time. I didn’t know you liked older women. Crazy. Is it because I took your Mom early?   His blood boiled upon hearing about his mother. He killed her and now he is granted a hearing for leniency? He wanted to punch him and the glass separating him. “What are you up to? , he asked. “ I just wanted to be free. I think I deserved to be free. I have been good and the secrets I hold, I don’t think the government can take it me spilling more”. He seems confident, this arrogant bastard he thought to himself. “Are you afraid I’d come back for your woman, your lover?”. “If you lay a hand on her, I swear will kill you myself!”, he stood up and punch the glass in front of him. The jail guard warned him and said he only has a minute left. “Be careful nephew. She be careful too….and his family”. Then he smirked at Seon Yul and went back to his cell. Seon Yul stood there for awhile to compose himself. This is not happening, again.

Soo Hyun has been staring at her phone all day. She never got a reply from Seon Yul after she said “Ok, I love you and I will see you later”. She was worried when she saw his texts saying “I have an emergency this early morning at the hospital and I’ll be out late. I’ll call you later”. He seems to forget we had a plan to have dinner but of course, she understands works comes first. She just can’t help but be worried afterall this past few weeks he seems agitated and secretive since that fight they had. She was waiting for him to open up and tell her about his nightmares but its been weeks and there was no stories he shared. She feared something is wrong, she knows something is up and he doesn’t want her to know.

It is now 6pm, she is at the orphanage and its been almost 8 hours he hasn’t; contacted her and continued to reject her calls. She is beyond worried. She decided to call his friend, Shi Joon. She asked him if Seon Yul is there. She Joon was surprised “Seon Yul? He filed for leave. He is on leave today until tomorrow I believe, Seon Hyun. I thought he is with you”. She replied, “He is not”. Is everything ok, he asked back? Soo Hyun was confused and behind the call, Shi Joon feels her fear and said “I’ll reach for him, I will update you if J have news”. Thank you is all she can say. Now, she is more than worried, he is terrified where the hell is her boyfriend! “Where are you?” She texted a 5th time. It is now 8 o’clock in the evening. Turning on the TV, and on the news, she dropped the remote control. Her jaw opened and Kim Joon is in the news. He is applying for parole.

This can’t be, she thought. Now she knows why he is acting strange lately, Does he know about this? He is too good to let this be all but a coincidence. The horror is setting in. Kim Joon might go free? Suddenly her fear is tangible. She looked at the kids in her orphanage. She thought of her family, especially her mom. Will he come back for me? to destroy us? She can’t think clearly. She wants to see Seon Yul, that’s all that matters. He is all that matters now. She grabbed her keys and went to his house.  “Seon Yul?”. Seon yul, are you here? She checked his rooms. No plain in sight, He is not here. Was he kidnapped? Is he hurt? Soo Hyun nearly fainted and took a seat. She drank water and told herself to calm down. 

She fell asleep waiting for him and she heard a text. “I am sorry. You must be worried. I am fine. Do not worry”. It is from Seon Yul. This jerk, she said cursing him out loud. She texted back “Where are you?”.  I need time for myself. I want to be alone, Soo Hyun. Please let me be for now. Please, do not be mad, I beg of you”, he replied. Soo Hyun starts to cry and she can’t give up. He must be hurting, she knows him too well. “Tell me where you are right now. Or I swear….you won’t see me again”.  He replied “Maybe it is better that way”. Her heart sighed and tears poured more. She doesn’t want to give up on them. “Ill drive in the middle of the night and will never stop looking for you. Tell me where you are right now, Seon Yul. If you want to protect me, talk to me. I’ll call on my ex husband and we will come looking for you, together”. That should do the trick, she said and it did. Seon Yul smiled a little. She knows how to trigger him just fine. His jealousy is his weakness, she knows. He is just a boy , a forever green boy in love with her. “I am here at the garage where we used to meet and eat”. Without a delay more, she grabbed her keys and drive down there. Soo Hyun didn’t even know it still existed. One detail Seon Yul didn’t share in their relationship, she discovered. She will ask later but for now, his safety is her priority. He is alone and she doesn’t want to make him feel that way, ever again. 

She saw him the same years ago, in a bonfire he created, looking at the stars. Same as that time, too..he had wounds in his knuckles. He must have punched at someone or something. She brought him some food, his favorites. “Hey” she said, coming forward but not too close. He seem distant. He smells wine. She doesn’t want to force her boundaries. He seems preoccupied in his thoughts. She decided to sit beside him. No touching. Just siting near each other and wishing he will talk. “I saw him today. Kim Joon. Sorry, I lied where I was. If you saw the news, it is true. The government might cut a deal for him and may grant him leniency. It sucks. The system is broken.” 

She replied “ We will fight again. We did it once and we will do it again. It is just a possibility. It hasn’t been decided and granted yet”. She wants to touch him but he is too far gone in his eyes and doesn’t even look at her. “Is this my karma? My punishment of taking revenge on you? On being blinded by hate and for a while, accomplice to his evil acts? Or this… now finally he looks at her, “is this…us, frowned upon by the Gods so bad they don’t want us to be together and just be happy?  Is this a curse?  She stood up and went towards him and kneeled before him, capping his face touching him softly, he closed his eyes “Don’t regret us. This is not punishment for us nor for you. He is just a bad, evil man. He took her hand and kissed his knuckles even with the stain of blood and he stood up. He walked away from her and his back against her he said “Maybe, this is it for us. Let us end this. I don’t deserve you. I will only ruin you. Please stay away from me, Soo Hyun.

“Are you breaking up with me? She asked. Why are you doing this? I love you! Don’t push me away. He walked towards the home storage car he has. She grabbed his hand. “Don’t walk away from me, Seon Yul”. 

He raised his voice “Love is not enough! Don’t you see what’s happening, Soo Hyun? He is gonna get that deal and he is going after us, after you!  This is all my fault. I dragged you into this. I went back into your life, forced myself again into your life and for what? For this? Your life and your family’s life is in danger if he walks free. What then? I can’t run away from this. I am cursed. I don’t deserve you or any joy this world can give. So, just listen and let’s stop this. You deserve a peaceful life. Walk away now. Walk away from me, please. Just listen to me this one time”.

His voice is starting to crack. He is starting to cry. He went inside and sat in his bed. Soo Hyun wants to smack him or punch him for being an idiot keeping it all to himself. Does he think she is inadequate for him? She thinks he thinks of her too fragile. She can handle it. She wants him to know that. She went inside and again kneeled down to him. She grabbed his wounded hands and kissed them again. “Just go and leave me” he begged. “I don’t want to. I will only leave if you will say you don’t love and want me anymore. Say it and I’ll walk away…for good, forever. 

Seon Yul looked at her.. deep into her eyes. He sighed. He is breathless in front of her like always. “Of course, I love you. I always have and I always do” but…I don’t want to hurt you, Soo Hyun. Not again. Not ever. And this…this can hurt you, us and your family. It is not fair. She clapped back at him “You know what is unfair? You not trusting me to be there for you. Look at me, I am here. I am not going anywhere. Don’t try to belittle me. I can do this. I am strong, you know that. I can protect you, too. “ 

Tears came down his face. Nobody has said those words for a very long time. “Ill protect you”. It has always been him protecting everything from everyone he loves. “Just tell me what you need, Soon Yul, let me in. I promise I’ll give it to you”.  He brought his hand to her cheeks, “I don’t need promises. I can’t promise you anything either but I just want you to stay. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone, again”. I just want you.

For the 1st time Soo Hyun saw Seon Yul’s darkened eyes with deep devotion and if she is right, lust. She knows that look. It has been a long time since anther man gave her that look. She teased him “You are the one wanting me to leave and let me go” . “You can have me. You always have me”. 

“I know”, he answered. She stood up and when he wanted to stand up, she stopped him. “ Don't. Just sit like that. Don’t move". Confused Seon Yul got stiff and frozen, what is she doing? His mind is topsy turvy. It is only now he realized, Soo Hyun is wearing a skirt. She adjusted something under her skirt, his mind went blank. Soo Hyun now is on his lap. There is always a first time. His legs is about to break. Yet, something is hardening below and Soo Hyun knows it. She kissed Seon Yul and this time, deep and hungrily. She is taking charge. She is taking control. In his ear, she whispered “ So, you still want to let me go and leave?”. He let a small groan and replied “No, I lied. I don’t want you to go. Not ever.”.

Both breathing heavily now. She is feeling intoxicated and wild. She hates him now but she can’t help it, she is in love with him, too it hurts. They are both hurting. But their bodies need this now. The hear is definitely on. This is somehow his punishment. She bit his ear and said “Don’t say those words again. Don’t do this again. It’s not him who will kill me, its you if something happens to you”. Those words made him moan. His first. He knows what she wants now. Its been the thing he wants the most, too. Them, to be as one. Opening his jeans and both eyes locked at each other, full of love, longing and lust now, he grabbed her waist and ran his fingers in her back like his life depends on it, she saw his length and he is ready to take her. She now is ready to be taken. Slowly, she went down and just like that, up and down, she rode him like it’s the last ride of their lives. She looks sexy, hot, beautiful and breathtaking he whispered to her. Gods be damned. The world be damned. This is their world and it is now crushing in. They made love for the 1st time. In an unconventional place and time. But then again, nothing is conventional with their love why start now? Panting and sweating together, they broke from their kisses, Soo Hyun said “Let’s face it all, together. And with another kiss and thrust, he replied, yes, together”.  🔥

NOTE: Whew! I know. A little smut here and there. lol 😉I am extra proud of this chapter and this one is one of my favorites to date. I don't know if you are surprised but I had a good time writing this one towards the end but also a hard time with their story of continued pain. They deserve better and they will have just that. Before the rainbow though, storms are always there. Last 2 Chapters and then epilogue. I am in love with this two! The end is near. Thank you so much for your support!

[merlin-everlasting]

on my merthur shit rn i can not stop. these two impossible, doomed by destiny, fools are what is keeping me going.

[divaofmads]

Forever In My Heart | King Baldwin

Part I | Part II

Gif by @princess-of-thebes-1995 Dividers by @saradika-graphics pictures by Pinterest

Summary: Baldwin knew that his illness would not allow him to live long. Unfortunately, he did not have an heir to leave the throne to, and since he was of French origin, he demanded an heir from the French kingdom to take over the throne after he died. So King Louis VII sent his younger son and his wife to go to Jerusalem and make a deal with the King.

Warnings! : Toxic Relationship, (King Baldwin is 20, Prince Hugh is 25, Y/N is 19), No Y/N using (Princess Maria), Inspired by history. It is not real historical events exactly, There are chronological mistakes, I apologize for the mistakes I made in English that is not my native language and I am trying to improve my writing skills

A/N: No one's religious beliefs were disrespected. The story was written by researching the ideas of that period.

A/N 2 : You can imagine whoever you want to play the bad guy(Please comment who do you imagine).

" 5th June 1173

My lover who is more beautiful than anything. My lady with lips sweeter than honey, a complexion that would make the moon jealous, and eyes brighter than the sun. The angel who inspires me. You're in my dreams when I sleep, you're the first thing that comes to my mind when I wake up. I miss you so much that every day we are apart I pray to Jesus that my father will return from crusade as soon as possible and start making preparations for our wedding.

After that incident, after the doctors had a dilemma about whether I might be sick, I thought that your father the emperor wanted our engagement not to be official, using his relations with the Seljuk State as an excuse. Forgive me for such impertinent ideas, my love. I would never betray you and your family. However, the crusades that my father Amalric started against the Fatimids by joining forces with the French and Germans showed me that what prevents our marriage is fate. But I know. No matter how late it is, our lives will be united, you will be the most respected queen the Latin kingdom has ever seen. Christian and Muslim healers will soon produce a cure for my illness together. Don't think about me. I will be fine, knowing that you love me gives me strength, my queen. Always be happy, be healthy. Always remember me. Dream about our future during the days we are apart, because I do. May the God who reigns in the heavens and watches over the whole world protect you.

I think the reason you didn't reply to my previous two letters is because you were busy, but this time I'm eagerly waiting for you to reply to my letter, my love. My heart is with you forever."

Who could love a man whom even God has cursed?

1180 4th June

When the night covered the lands of Jerusalem like a blanket, Baldwin stood by the window and watched his kingdom. God had given this holy city to the Crusaders and had stood by them. The Latin kingdom acted as a protector against the increasingly powerful Muslim invaders. Although the failure of the 2nd Crusade had caused a lack of trust among the Crusader countries, he was the only great king who was able to unite the Holy Land after his father Amalric died. His people were pleased with him. Despite being a Crusader commander, he did not want anyone to be treated unfairly, regardless of religion or race. But why did the king not feel proud when his people loved him so much?

When he looked at his reflection in the golden goblet he held in his hand, the answer to the question was actually very clear. Despite everything, he was the cursed king. He was weak and incapable for Muslims. How could a king who was struggling for his own health deal with state issues? He was also a servant lower than a pig. He was created so ugly because they did not believe in the same god. Just as ugly and useless as a pig. Saladin should have been ashamed of himself for being defeated by a king who was a child and a leper in the battle of Montgisard. But no one had thought about it. His smart moves in the army and state administration, his choice of advisors and the poor-looking king proved his power. He was the only king who came into being on the bed to manage the war. His courage had inspired the painter.

It was normal for Muslims to spread such prejudiced and hostile gossip, of course. But it was the Christians whose ideas he had to fight against. They thought that God had cursed Baldwin when he was born. He was the one God did not like. He knew how dark his soul was when he created him. When he grew up, the devil would be his guide. He was a cruel, barbaric ruler whose mind worked for nothing but evil. Leprosy was his mark and badge for his past and future sins. He was branded so that the people would notice and stay away from this devil.

He had long forgotten his identity. The man he saw in the reflection in the goblet, with a rotting skin, was either a pig or a devil.

But he was not human in either world. When he could no longer hide this curse and his fiancée did not even deign to write him a farewell letter, he lost the last feeling that would remind him of his humanity. Love. No one loved a pig, they would detest it. No one would stray from God's path and fall in love with the devil. He would rather die. And what were the feelings? What were the longing and love he felt in his heart? Moreover, what was the sadness that was hidden behind these two feelings and spread throughout his body? These feelings grew stronger after he received the news that the crown prince of France and his wife, the Byzantine Princess Maria, would arrive in Jerusalem tomorrow. Could a pig long for? Could a barbarian be sad, or could the devil love?

Baldwin could no longer bear to see the truth reflected in the globe and threw it to the ground. So many years passed. Baldwin stood strong against the gossip about him. He only loved his kingdom and swore to protect it. He rewarded the oppressed and punished the oppressors so that people could live in peace and not have hostile feelings. However, the seeds of love that had been waiting to sprout in his heart for years blossomed with the news that he would see the woman he loved again, and the king felt hopeless.

As the medicinal drink spilled from the glass that fell to the ground spread on the stone floor, the bare parts of his maskless, bandaged face reappeared before him like a nightmare. As his breathing rhythm quickened, he heard a voice.

"When the Physicians were preparing the drink, I could tell from the smell that it tasted bad."

When Baldwin looked in the direction of the voice, he saw William coming from the darkness. The only source of light in the room was the moonlight.

"William," he said, trying to hide his emotions, "I didn't hear you come in."

William smiled warmly. "You wouldn't have heard of it if there was a rebellion, your majesty, and forgive my impudence, but the reason for this has to do with your guests tomorrow."

Baldwin turned toward the city. "I was sure I would never see her again. But now, in the castle of Kerak, Raybald of Châtillon is hosting them."

William looked at the king. "Indeed, you should have known this day would come. Your relations with the Kingdom of France are strong."

"Maybe I was just afraid that day would come."

"You're still in love with her."

"Every minute I thought I had forgotten her, my longing for her grew my love."

"Princess Maria was a good match for you. She was very intelligent, kind, and combative. A fine queen for the Latin kingdom," he said, and the melancholy gaze of Baldwin, which he did not want to show, gave him away, caused William to apologize. "I apologize if I went too far, your majesty. I just wanted to recall a pleasant memory."

A beautiful memory. It was true. Every moment Baldwin spent with the princess was special. He could talk and laugh for hours about any memory he recalled. Baldwin was not born into a loving family. When he ascended to the throne, his kingdom was on the verge of division. His illness pretended him weak against his enemies. But in all his misfortunes, Maria was his white rose, and no matter how pessimistic he felt a moment ago, he now smiled because of her.

A bitter smile, ""Do you think she can still wield a sword skillfully?"

He had the same bitter smile on his face. ""There is no doubt about that, your majesty. Perhaps once they are settled in the palace you can challenge her to a duel and see for yourself."

Although this idea sounded nice at first, the facts were obvious. He replied in a reproachful tone, as if rebelling against fate. "How can I do this when I can't use my limbs and can't see in one eye, William, tell me!" He looked harshly.

"These words do not seem to belong to you, my king. Weren't you the king who learned to use a sword with his left arm because his right arm betrayed him at every opportunity? You designed special stirrups for your numb legs. You led fights with that blind eye of yours. Now don't tell me you avoided a duel with a 19-year-old young woman."

"I don't want her to see me like this, Will. My body is decaying day by day. God's curse is growing stronger and my resistance to pain is diminishing." He looked at the view again. "I don't want her to remember me like this. She confessed that she was amazed by my beauty the night we fell in love. He turned back to William and pointed his finger at his face. Look at my current state, the boy she fell in love with is dead. The Leper King was the end of that beautiful boy."

Baldwin suddenly felt unwell and William held him as he collapsed to the ground, his legs shaking.

"Your Majesty, you need to rest now."

William called to the servants to take Baldwin to bed. The servants came to them in a hurry and, taking kings arm, carried him to the bed. One left to get water. Another was adjusting his pillows. Finally William warned them to leave the room and approached Baldwin.

"You have always been a good boy, Baldwin. You are the best king the Latin Kingdom has ever seen. No ruler after you will be able to hold these lands together."

"I would not want this. I hope that people will recognize my efforts and protect the lands from hostile armies."

Before leaving William Baldwin's room, he spoke one last time. "Prince Hugh will take more care of you both, your majesty. Be careful."

Maria had been nervous since they arrived at the castle of Kerak. Representing the Komnenos dynasty had been a heavy burden on her shoulders. About six years before she was born, dark times had passed over Manuel I and the Byzantine lands. Constantinople had been sacked, the city almost destroyed. Châtillon had been the emperor's worst nightmare until Manuel took revenge on her. He disturbed the people as if he owned the Byzantine Empire. Maria's nanny would tell her these dark memories before she went to sleep at night. Maria was a naughty child and would tell the story that Châtillon would come back one night and kidnap the naughty children. But Maria always trusted her father. Although he seemed like an emperor who was afraid of the Turks and had a weak political mind, Maria was smart enough to understand her father's strategic steps. That's why she never feared Châtillon. Her father may have suffered great losses during those times, but later he took his revenge on Châtillon in a satisfactory way.

Baldwin did not attend her and Prince Hugh wedding. He was too tired to go to France. Otherwise, his death would have come sooner, and Saladin's army would have occupied Jerusalem long ago. Therefore, Reynald of Châtillon attended the wedding as regent. Emperor Manuel saw this as an insult, and the ties between him and the Latin kingdom were almost broken. But Baldwin, the Latin king, knew his former father-in-law well. He had observed the emperor very well during his engagement to his daughter, and had skillfully kept the bond between them together.

Despite everything, Châtillon must have been unable to stomach the emperor's revenge, for he was taking a jab at the princess who had joined them at the dinner table. He was talking badly about her father. He was making fun of the Byzantine Emperor, implying that if the emperor did not come under Crusader countries protection, the Muslims would give up Jerusalem and occupy Constantinople, and they would be successful. Therefore, it was very lucky for the princess to marry the son of the King of France. Maria would of course say something in response to these words, but the crown prince of France thought that women were stupid and should not meddle in state affairs. What did women know except intrigue, sex, and having children? Whenever Maria spoke, her husband humiliated her in front of the lords of the other kingdoms. She did not want to experience the same thing again. She felt sad enough when she thought of Baldwin anyway. But both Maria's and the prince's minds were changed by Châtillon's audacity. He had brought up the subject of Baldwin and the princess's broken engagement. Maria felt uneasy. She knew that her husband had always kept his eyes on her, for it was a sensitive subject.

When Châtillon noticed the tension between the two, he explained how strong the bond between her and Baldwin was. He had read Maria’s letters impudently several times before the curse of leprosy had set in. He disclosed some of the love poems in these letters. Of course, he could not remember the exact words, but he sang similar sentences with a mocking grin. Hearing these things made the Prince angry. The gold goblet in his hand almost bent, but he tried not to show it. He looked at his beloved wife with a meaningful smile. Not wanting to appear weak, he intervened. “I thought your engagement was a political agreement, my lady. Would you care to give me more details? I would like to hear it.” He brought the glass to his lips, finished the wine in one gulp, and slammed it down on the table.

However, Maria knew that the prince intended to ask her this question. If she was not satisfied with the answer he would give, his revenge would be severe. Hugh had threatened her with his dynasty. The prince was madly in love with her and knew that his love was unrequited. He was jealous of her in front of everyone and everything.

She was trying not to give away her lie as she pushed the toasted almonds on the Blancmange that had just been served into the rice fish paste mixture with the tip of her fork. "We were both kids at the time. Our alliance against his half-brothers brought us closer. These are childish feelings." These words were lies. Every emotion she experienced was too mature.

Raynald lifted his globe to his mouth and drank the spiced wine, smearing it through his filthy beard before scraping the remains of the wine away with the palm of his hand. "Your mind was capable of writing love poems as a child."

Prince Hugh gritted his teeth. He should have cut off the head of the daring man in front of him with his sword, but he was too arrogant to show his jealousy to anyone. Instead, he chose to show his anger to his wife by stroking Maria's hair harshly. She had to be careful.

She looked bravely at Reynald. Looking into his eyes, she put the Blancmange in her mouth and began to speak, ignoring the rules as she chewed. "I am flattered that you find the love poems written by a little girl mature. Yes, Baldwin and I were mature, and I was smart enough to see that you were a pain in the neck when you were still a mercenary."

Raynald looked to the prince to put the princess in her place, but Hugh agreed with his wife, and for once, though he didn't show it, he was pleased with her headstrong nature.

Then he looked at the princess with greed. "It was obvious that the daughter of the Byzantine emperor would not suit the future king of France."

Maria stood up, her chair leg scraping the floor. "Then you should know to watch your step when talking to me."

Then she turned respectfully, in a way that glorified her husband. "Master of my heart, if you allow me, I would like to go to the chapel and pray."

The prince was unsure of what to say. He did not want to be angry with his wife, for she had put Raynald in his place, who had insidiously planted the sin of jealousy in his heart. He was also flattered by his wife in front of the other lords and barons at the table. He only gave his wife permission to go to the chapel.

She grabbed the hem of her dress so as not to fall. So she left the room and walked quickly down the corridor. Talking about her memories with Baldwin broke her heart. His look, his smile, his conversation, his intelligence... She had never known a man like him in the Empire or the Kingdom of France. Her mind was always on her old love. She had stolen her own life. She spent her youth in the bed of a man she did not love, thinking of Baldwin. Now she was in pain and wanted to be alone, alone with the Virgin Mary.

One of her maids would come to her. She called to her lady, said that her son were crying uncontrollably. Little Philip needed his mother. She ignored the maids calling her as she ran down the hall. But the baby wanted her mother and was crying non-stop. But a child from a man she did not love would not be good for her right now.

She just wanted to go to the chapel and pray before the Virgin Mary. She was on her knees, placed her elbows on the altar. "Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Forgive me, I cannot guard my ideas from sin as I guard my chastity. Holy Mary, Mother of God. I am weak, the love that the devil has cultivated in my heart becomes sweeter to me every day that I do not see him. Please hear me, tear down the walls between us and inspire me to forget him. O Virgin, holy and merciful, obtain for all who offend thee the grace of repentance, and graciously accept this poor act of homage from me thy servant, obtaining likewise for me from thy Divine Son the pardon and remission of all my sins. Amen." She placed her palms crosswise on her chest. She was crying, convulsing with tears.

The prince and princess of France entered the holy lands with four horse guards in front and six behind to protect the gift chests. The royal coat of arms, the 'fleur-de-lys', was carved on wood on the body of the carriage, and the windows were covered with curtains in the color of the coat of arms's base color, the blue, thus completely cutting off communication between the people and the nobles.

But it was impossible not to notice such a long convoy. The children playing followed the horses and did not leave its vicinity, hoping to see who was behind the curtain. But the princess saw them. She had slightly parted the fabric and was enjoying the excited running of the children speaking in a language she did not know. Meanwhile, her husband, who was sitting next to her, distracted her by holding her hand. When the young princess turned her head to the prince, the smile on her face disappeared.

"Don't let children know you're looking at them, my lady. Then they'll have the brass face."

She looked at him smugly. "They are children. At least don't act arrogant towards children!"

Hugh gritted his teeth. He should have put her in her place, but their baby Philip’s nurse intervened to calm the anger between them. She smiled and called out to the princess as she sat across from her, put the baby to sleep in her arms.

"Your Majesty, in a few years your son will be running around the palace corridors just like them."

Maria smiled at the woman. "I hope he becomes a guardian of peace and justice." The word that crossed her mind was 'like Baldwin'. But she could not say it.

The nurse looked at the baby. "There is no doubt about it, my lady."

Prince Hugh was very angry with his wife. He could have given her a severe punishment, but his love was holding him back. Instead, he used his ambition for his son. He smiled arrogantly. "He will be a king in the Latin lands, a nightmare for Muslims! He will send the unbelievers to hell in this world. He will slaughter the unbelievers mercilessly. Otherwise, how can he be the commander of the Crusader armies?"

Maria hated herself for marrying such a cruel man. She could assure herself that the children's voices he heard outside had become screams of pain in his imagination. And look at the nobles who considered Baldwin a barbarian! What a disgrace! The princess was about to continue looking out the window in anger when she turned her head and caught the nurse's eye. The woman gave her no words. Her expression begged his majesty to be silent. For his well-being and peace. Maria smiled with tears in her eyes and did as he said, smiling slightly.

Meanwhile, William, who had received news that the royal carriage was approaching the palace, was giving orders for the final preparations. Sybilla had to make sure that the food and organization were perfect. The servants were arranging the prince and princess's favorite fruits and wines on the table in their rooms, and the gifts to be presented to the royal family were being counted in the great hall.

Baldwin lay on his back in his bed, surrounded by four physicians who were helping their assistants apply ointment to his wounds.

"Ah," sighed the king, "at last, my love. At last, I will be able to witness your beautiful smile again."

"Be a little faster!" But even that was tiring him. He was excited to greet them and wanted to stand up in defiance of God.

The physician warned the king, "Your Majesty, you must lie down for a day and wait for your skin to absorb the medicine. It will be more beneficial."

Baldwin gritted his teeth and spoke threateningly. “Are you disobeying my orders?”

The physicianstammered. He emphasized that he had been misunderstood. He apologized and ordered his assistants to hurry. After applying the herbal mixture to the king's wounds, they wrapped clean, white bandages crosswise, using two layers of cloth so that the skin would not be visible. Cotton fabrics in particular were imported from the Mediterranean. Otherwise, his completely covered skin would not be able to breathe and would become damp, and the amount of salt in his sweat would cause Baldwin to suffer in pain. In fact, the ointment was already hurting him enough.

One of his servants came to him with a silver cup in his hand and supported his back, allowing him to straighten up. Thus, he drank the healing water easily. As he was sliding the last sip from his lips to his mouth, William entered. He too might not have been in favor for king to welcome the royal family, but he knew that his life was short. Seeing the woman he loved should have been more important than the pain he would suffer. Who knows? Perhaps the last time they would meet would be Baldwin's funeral. Maria stood in front of her childhood love's coffin, crying heartily, and they would say goodbye to each other for the last time, and the only memory she had of him would be the metal mask.

"Your Majesty," he said with a wry smile on his face, "I have come to take you. News has come that they have almost arrived. Everything is ready in the outer courtyard. After the welcoming ceremony, you may proceed to the great hall."

Baldwin confirmed William and after the bandaging process was completed, he stood up. My God! For a moment, the King seemed to forget about the curse. He thought they were just like those two beautiful children from ten years ago. Two noble children who will live their love that has not been granted to anyone else. He hadn't even gotten help from anyone when he was sitting up in bed. Love must have been such a miraculous feeling. None of the physicians' ointments could give him the strength to stand up in minutes. The verses from the Bible that were read to cure his illness were of no use. Only his passionate longing for Maria gave him strength. It healed his melted bones and allowed his joints to bend freely. It allowed his joints to bend freely. Perhaps he would soon have the power to expand the borders of the Latin kingdom. But no! The truth had a bad habit of coming out at the wrong time. He was standing from William. He was only five steps away.

"Let's go." King said. At this moment, a servant called out to him, came to him with quick steps and held out the mask in his hand.

"Your majesty, mask!"

There's that Silver mask! The evil Witch who took him away from life. The King looked at the mask's artificial lips, hollow eyes, and metal eyebrows. He was the only person in the room who saw the mask's devilish grin. It was as if the mask was mocking him. He knew how much the woman he loved would pity him when she saw his sick body. And Baldwin's embarrassment must surely be the amusement of the mask. Once again the King was defeated. Although he had the arrogance of a king when he took the mask from the servant's hand, William knew the dramatic mood of the man he had known since childhood. So he supported the king with his words while his face was completely covered with a metal mask. When the servants grabbed his arm and tried to help him walk, he gestured with his hand for them not to come.

"The king looks quite healthy. No need."

William stepped back from the door and cleared the way for the king to exit.He clasped his hands in front of him and waited for Baldwin to come out. However, after their King left the room, William followed him to accompany, followed by the servants. It was noon. Light seeping through the corridor windows illuminated the gray stone walls. The designs and art of Arab architects were on display.

"My legs are shaking William. "This is not because of my illness," he said. He could keep Saladin and his armies away from his lands. He could win the battle. But for love, he was still young.

"I know, your majesty. Although not as excited as you, I'm excited to see the princess too."

Beautiful, attractive, innocent, seductive. Which word was more appropriate to say to the holy beloved? Which one would he choose to describe the relentless love inside him? Or were the other adjectives hidden behind these words what made his fall in love? Was it her stubborn and strong stance that made her seductive, was it her helpfulness and fairness that gave her the name of innocence, was it her white skin and wavy hair that reached down to her waist that made her attractive or was her beauty and grace necessary? There was no definite answer to these questions and even the answers that suddenly came to his mind were not enough to learn the reason for his feelings for her. The way he looked at her or the way she shyly looked away from him, he would now forbid each other. If their eyes met, it would be a sin. Then how would Maria have the courage to go to church again and ask for forgiveness?

All this was going on in the king's mind. When the horse carriage carrying the royal family entered the courtyard. The prince and princess were presented. The King was sitting on his throne waiting for them. But what he was most worried about was how he would react when he saw Maria. And that moment has come. As she descended the wooden steps of the carriage, Baldwin’s eyes went there. The years had made her a mature woman and made her beautiful. The dark brown tone of her hair had lightened, and blondes were mixed in between. Her skin was smooth as in her childhood. The cherry cheeks that adorned her snow-white face had not left her. A storm had formed in his heart, his love had turned into a natural disaster. When she descended the creaking steps and her feet touched the ground, Maria looked up at the king. Her honey-colored eyes sparkled. She had seen the child behind the metal mask in Baldwin’s eyes.

But the maid who got out of the carriage was carrying something in her arms that revealed the sin of their love. One of the heirs to the crown. Prince Philip. Maria's son by Prince Hugh. This child would have been theirs if this disease had not taken him prisoner. William expected the king to make a welcoming speech. But Baldwin seemed rather absent-minded. “Your Majesty,” he warned his king, “you must pull yourself together. The princess is now a married woman with a heir."

William was right. He had to come to his senses quickly and fulfill his duties as a king. The Latin King stood up, holding on to the arms of the prepared throne, and greeted the Prince and the Princess. He said it was a great honor for them to be here. Because he was on very good terms with King Louis VII of France. That's why it was such a pleasure for him to welcome the future heir, the Prince, and his wife, Princess Maria. Of course, when he saw Princess Maria next to the Prince, these words he said were completely fake. Even though he knew that Maria and the king were old childhood friends, the Prince did not allow Maria to speak and spoke to the king himself. Because he knew she still love this king with the ugly rotting skin. The king could not look at Maria. Because if he did, everything would be understood. So he averted his eyes, but Maria looked at her old friend William and smiled. Old memories had gathered in her eyes and came out.

William spoke up. "Your Majesty, if you wish, we can place the gifts of the Kingdom of France in the great hall. This will provide a much more intimate setting for the gifts presented during the banquet."

"Good thinking, William," Baldwin said. "Let's do what's necessary."

After the prince and the king finished speaking, they went inside. The servants showed the nobles to their rooms so they could get ready for the feast while their belongings were being put away.

Baby Philip had a separate room. They went to their rooms with the nurse.

When they came to the room, the bathtub was ready. The bathtub was made of white marble, shaped by marbles extracted from the Anatolian Seljuk lands. It was filled with water containing jasmine essence and leaves. Arab servants surrounded the bathtub, one had a silver tray, a loofah and soap on it. The other had a loincloth in his hand.

Princess Maria knew that Muslims were very clean. This was the most important thing for Islam and they were very contemptuous of people who were not clean.

The servants took off Maria's clothes, covered her private parts with a loincloth, and holding her hand, they sat her in the tub.

A woman took a copper bowl and dipped it into the jasmine water in the bathtub and poured it on the princess's hair. The cold drops of water cooled the roots of her warm hair. The weather was so hot here that the coolness of the water was a relief to her. She leaned her head on the edge of the tub and positioned herself so the other woman could massage her shoulder.

Her muscles, which had been tense due to sadness and her husband's irritable character, began to relax. The woman's delicate fingers were moving around the girl's shoulders and neck. The drops of water that had begun to dry on her skin were keeping it cool in the hot air. She was half asleep, half awake, dreaming but barely aware of what was happening. She didn't even realize when the woman's delicate, thin fingers were replaced by thick, calloused ones. Baldwin was in her dreams. She was sitting in the arbor of the palace in Constantinople, in the gardens with their many varieties of flowers, with Baldwin's head on Maria's lap. His eyes were looking up, into the honey-colored eyes of his beloved wife. The sun was streaming through the wooden planks of the arbor and making the heavens in Baldwin's blue eyes shine. She stroked his light golden brown hair. His skin was soft and shiny, just like when he was a child, and his lips were thin and small.

"My beautiful lover." He said. But voice was not like him. "Are you thinking about me?" The girl's eyebrows furrowed. As if this was a rebellion against passing into the real world. She opened her eyes and sat up. When she looked up, she saw Hugh sitting on the edge of the tub, looking at his wife with longing. But the same was not true for the princess.

She was serious. "What are you doing?"

Hugh replied as she stood up, using the sides of the tub for support. "I thought my wife missed me." He stood up too and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

Maria lowered her eyes, raised one hand, and asked the maids to help her get out of the tub. But the prince was on edge against his wife's cold attitude. He watched with anger as he was left alone.

The servants were massaging Maria's body with various oils and combing her hair. Meanwhile, her assistant was choosing a beautiful outfit for the banquet. But Maria was nervous. She and Hugh had not touched each other for a long time. They had never brought each other to the perfect peak of orgasm. That letter from the Latin palace had changed something and the prince was aware of it. She knew that Hugh would use the maids to do this. Even though he knew that adultery was one of the greatest sins, the prince felt entitled to it. Perhaps he wanted to make the woman he loved jealous and take revenge. But he never achieved his goal. Because Maria could never love her husband enough to be protective or jealous of him.

As if it were a ritual, a rite, he would ask for sexual intercourse in the palace of the man she loved. He wanted to trouble her conscience.

While her dress and jewelry were being prepared for the feast, the servants dressed Maria in a white silk nightgown, the sleeves of which were wide and connected to the skirt like bat wings.

When the princess returned to bedroom, she did not see her husband. This was a relief to her.

"Where would you like me to put these clothes, my lady?" Maria was startled by the old woman's question. She answered with a faint smile on her face. "Put them where the emerald green surcoat is."

Then she went to her jewelry. They were in a carved wooden chest on the table. She put her fingers inside and began to rummage through the earrings, necklaces, and rings. The necklace she would wear to the banquet was very special. Among the betrothal gifts that Emperor Manuel had burned or distributed to the poor, the only gift Maria had saved was the beautiful necklace designed by Baldwin. The pearls hanging from the edges of the gold collar surrounding the red beryl, emerald, and alexandrite stones...

She called her maid over and told her that she would be wearing this necklace as an accessory to the dress they had chosen. The woman was fascinated as soon as she saw the necklace. "This is very beautiful, your majesty."

About ten minutes later, the prince called out to his wife, who was giving instructions to her maids to put away the clothes. "You must be happy to see your childhood sweetheart, my love." Maria was startled by her husband's voice as she smoothed down the pearl-embroidered dress in her hand. She ran her fingers over the soft texture of the shiny fabric and handed it to the maid. "The same topic again?" Then she looked at her husband. "That's in the past, you know. Ten years is a long time to forget."

Hugh grabbed his wife's arm tightly and turned her towards him. He clenched his teeth and swallowed. "For the mind, yes, but for your heart? Was ten years enough?"

Maria did not say a word, and that was an answer for Hugh. He squeezed his wife's arm tighter. The young woman groaned, feeling the pain in her arm deeply. She frowned under the pain and tried to pull away. "Leave me alone!"

The maids were disturbed by the tension between husband and wife and did not know what to do.

Hugh brought his face closer to hers. "If that's true, I swear..." he was cut off by a knock on the door.

Maria looked into her husband's eyes without the slightest trace of love.

She ordered. "Come in!"

The young servant girl ran to Princess Maria and bowed before her.

"Your Majesty, forgive me. Your son Philip, I believe, needs your help."

Prince Hugh was also angry. Were all those nannies interested in his heir? Just as he was about to attack the young girl, Maria grabbed his arm. "My prince, please! Have some patience!" She was worried. "Is everything okay? What's wrong?"

The girl was not very good at lying, she stammered. "He wouldn't stop crying. We thought he needed his mother. The mother's scent calms babies."

Hugh glanced at his wife contemptuously. "Your motherhood is as bad as your wifehood!”

Without saying anything, Maria left her husband and ordered the young girl to take her son.

The maid was escorting the princess to the room where Philip was staying. Maria noticed that she was quite excited. She had thought of scenarios such as her son being sick. She started asking the girl questions. Was her son sick? Maybe something bad happened to him and they were afraid of the prince and didn't tell her. The girl's nervous attitude made the princess even more nervous. "Stop, I order you!"

The girl stopped suddenly and looked like a child being scolded by her mother. Maria could see how frightened her face was in the candlelight. "What's the matter? You look very nervous."

The girl stuttered and pointed to the hallway behind Maria. “This way, my lady.” Maria swallowed and looked at the hallway the girl was pointing to. It looked much more ornate than the others. The work on its door was magnificent and decorated with gold leaf.

Maria frowned. "Philip isn't there, is he?"

The girl shook her head. “No, your majesty. Just come in. He’s waiting for you there.”

When the soldiers waiting at the door saw Maria, they immediately moved and opened the door. Maria knew very well who was waiting for her inside. She walked through the door with excited steps and went out to the balcony with the most beautiful view of Jerusalem. The two soldiers standing here welcomed their princess and escorted her to the door leading to their king's chamber.

The soldiers brought the princess to the door and left. Maria took a deep breath, knocked on the door and entered that was nervous. It was the first time she had done something in secret from her husband. She was sure he would punish her if he knew where she was. She could not leave the bedrooms. He would put guards at the bedroom doors.

She looked around. The objects were as if they were showing off in the light of evening with sun. This was not the room he had stayed in as a child. It was his father's room and its size was dazzling. It was a room worthy of a young king of the Holy Land. Maria looked at the bed across from her in admiration. Her childhood love was resting in this bed, leaving his scent on these sheets. She slowly approached the bed and picked up the burgundy-colored pillow. She wrapped her arms around it tightly, as if she were hugging Baldwin. She buried her head in the soft texture of the pillow and breathed in the scent. It smelled just as she remembered. It was so clean, smelled of soap and incense.

The princess remembered the dream she had the night of their engagement. It was a terrifying nightmare, to be exact. She had longed to speak to the bishop of Hagia Sophia. Even though the priest had interpreted her nightmare positively, Maria was always anxious. She was afraid of the end of their epic love. And one day, those things she feared separated them until death. When all these memories came to life before her eyes, a small smile appeared on her face. However, her eyes denied this smile and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Is that you William? I've been waiting for you." It was Baldwin's voice, and it came from afar. Maria, with the remorse of her sin, did not want to be caught by Baldwin, and her whole body trembled. When she turned her head to the silk tulle curtain that separated the room, she saw his silhouette and dropped the pillow in her lap to the floor.

Take the pillow or leave the room… While she was trying to choose the right way in this dilemma, Baldwin pulled the veil aside and entered.

“Maria, you…” Baldwin stood there in shock and could not finish his sentence.

There he was, Baldwin. The man whose happiness she had forgotten for years with his longing was standing right in front of her. Baldwin was no different. He felt much stronger now. He never expected to meet those meaningful eyes again. Alone. It was as if their cursed love had flared up again.

Baldwin did not want Maria to get into a difficult situation. As soon as he saw Maria approaching him, he spoke up. "It is not right for you to be here, my lady. Please do not do this to us."

Maria, on the other hand, was determined. She had been imprisoned by a man she did not love for years, and when she could no longer stand this torture, the man who was her ray of hope stood before her.

They were standing face to face when she replied, "I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be."

Her hands were on groin, her nails tearing at the flesh on the sides of her fingers.

Baldwin replied, his voice filled with reproach. "You gave up on me, Maria. I learned of our separation from the letter your father sent to the palace. You didn't care to send a farewell letter."

Maria was crying. She looked into the king's eyes. "This is not true. I swear."

"Tell me what is right," he said. "Of course you couldn't go against your family, I understand that. But what about your love? Your fear got in the way of your love, and I couldn't read your last letter that smelled of roses, is that right?"

"No. You don't know how strict my father is. I wrote you letters many times. I wanted to send them secretly, but my nanny betrayed me. That's why I always got caught. I gave up because a young girl died in pain because of the letters I wrote you. I wasn't afraid of my father, Baldwin. I didn't want innocent people to suffer because of me." The words barely escaped her lips as she sobbed.

The girl took Baldwin's right hand, wrapped in a white bandage, and caressed it. But the effects of leprosy were beginning to set in again, and his arm was numb. What a disappointment it was not to be able to feel the woman he loved while she held his hand! "Oh God, please," he whispered. He did not care how great a sin adultery was. He wanted to feel the touch of the woman he loved. He wanted to experience the sexual urges he felt for the only woman in his life, past and future, who would love him. Not now, his inner voice said. He did not want to die without being drunk with Maria's love.

Baldwin took his right arm and pulled it from Maria's hands. He held out his left hand. "Come on Maria, come with me. We have a lot to talk about," he said. Although the princess realized that Baldwin could not use his right arm, she did not show anything so as not to upset him. So they went behind the silk veil.

The evening view of Jerusalem was almost under their feet. They sat on the couch. Their eyes met suddenly. It was the first time Maria saw her friend, her love, with a mask on his face, and it was painful for her soul.

"God has given you the most beautiful design of all his creations, Maria. You took me back to my childhood."

Maria smiled. "You too, my dear. The innocent, well-intentioned child standing before me has not changed at all."

Baldwin took offense. "You needn't pity me. I have been the god-cursed king for too long."

Maria put her hand on Baldwin's silver mask. Since she couldn't touch his skin, she had to be content with this. "You're still that boy I fell in love with." She caressed the cold, hard, emotionless mask. "The eyes looking with courage and hope. That boy whose character and heart I admired, has now grown up and become the greatest king the Latin Kingdom will ever witness."

There was surprise in Baldwin's voice. "Do you really think so?" He knew what was being said about him outside the borders of the kingdom. Even Saladin did not take him seriously at first. Until he saw that the king was a formidable enemy, he didn't respected him. Still, his illness had become a symbol of bad luck in many kingdoms, especially Byzantium, and had caused political relations to be damaged. If an agreement was made with the Latin kingdom, the curse of God would be poured upon them.

"Even if you gave me all the jewels in the world, it wouldn't satisfy me as much as your love." Her lips trembled, the area around her eyes turned red.

She was trying to control herself not to cry. She brought her face closer to Baldwin and buried her head in his neck, witnessing his scent and warmth. "You are not only the king of the holy land, but also the king of my heart," she said.

Baldwin was ashamed. He had never been so loved and pampered by a woman. He could even see his mother at political meetings. It had been a long time since he felt like a man. He had forgotten that he was a man because in other kingdoms he was nothing. Muslims called him a pig because they did not believe in the same God. Andalusian Arab historians spoke of him as a disgusting creature. According to Christians, he was the child of the devil and God punished him with ugliness and pain as a price for the cruelty and misery he would bring to the world. Jews living in his kingdom cursed their kings because they were not under the rule of a glorious king and prayed for his death. However, even though all that was left of that beautiful child was a piece of rotten flesh, he was reminded that he was human by the woman he loved, without knowing what he had become.

"You are here with me now, Maria. We may never meet again, but it is a great chance that you are here with me now."

Maria tried to smile, but tears were flowing relentlessly down her cheeks and down her chin, dampening Baldwin's white bandage. "I beg you, don't talk like that! Make me forget about reality for one night. Let's be in a fairy tale. Kiss me and let us to live happily ever after."

"I promise, Maria. I'll only make you live your fairy tale tonight."

Maria wrapped her arms around Baldwin's still feeling hand and lifted it into the air. She brought her lips close and kissed it longingly, many times.

Baldwin kept his word and wanted to talk about the good times.

"After reading the letter from the French court, William and I discussed whether she could still use a sword."

Maria wiped her tears and smiled. "I haven't used a sword since I got married. Hugh says it's not for women."

"It is unfair, the land of France has lost its best knight."

Maria shrugged. "If you're not my opponent, I don't care."

Baldwin's voice was full of affection. "We can reminisce whenever you want."

Maria snuggled up to Baldwin. She leaned her head on his chest. "It's okay, I don't want you to get tired."

Baldwin's numb arm was finally beginning to get feel, and he lifted his arm with difficulty and effort, and as he gently stroked Maria's hair, she looked happily at him without lifting her head from his chest.

"Maria, my beautiful queen. While my illness cannot prevent me from fighting the Ayyubids and leading my army, shall I miss the chance to duel with you? I will definitely be ready for it tomorrow."

"I would be honored, my king," said Maria. If she had married Baldwin, she would have been queen, and in their correspondence Baldwin always referred to Maria as "my queen." The fact that he addressed her with the same title, just like in the old days, showed the greatness of the love in his heart.

At the end of this entertaining conversation, Baldwin grew quiet. There was an inexplicable sadness in his voice. "You said your father was strict. You said a girl died because of us, Maria. What have you been through?"

Maria lowered her eyes as she remembered. Her eyes were red and a few tears slid down her cheeks to her chin.

"Several times one of the young maids helped me to smuggle letters into my room. The niche in the wall where i had once kept my doll was filled with letters from you. But the day the nanny discovered our secret, father showed no mercy. "she sobbed . "The young girl was punished by the priest reading verses from the Bible, supposedly purifying herself from her sins. Hot irons, daggers and hot oil. The girl fainted many times due to this unbearable pain and her weak body could not stand it anymore. The girl died."

"I never thought the emperor would be so afraid of our love that he would slander God. No God would allow such a punishment to be given to a virgin girl."

"I couldn't write you back. Because I never got to your last letter. The last time I saw it was among the gifts from you were being burned, in the middle of courtyard." She was sobbing and repeated over and over, "Forgive me, forgive me, my love."

Baldwin's heart ached as if it had been thrown into fire, and it was because of sadness and despair that Maria has.

"If I had a chance, if this curse would leave me alone, I would make you the happiest woman in the world," he said, stroking her hair.

But Maria, angered by this statement, rose harshly from her king's lap, her hands resting on Baldwin's groin, gripping the fabric of his robe tightly. "Please stop cursing your illness! You shouldn't care what people think. And I don't believe the thing what they think God says in bible. God holds you up as an instance to all; the kingdom of heaven is strengthened in your hands."

Baldwin put his bandaged hand around the girl's neck and pulled back the hair that covered her beautiful neck. "How can you be so sure about God, Maria? Are the priests wrong?"

"Did you not show your power, despite the limitations of your illness, and become a king loved by your people and respected by your enemies? You keep a part of God within you. You are not that man hated by God, Baldwin. If you were, I cannot imagine the illness that Hugh would have suffered," she said, laughing wryly at the last sentence.

When Baldwin returned her smile, Maria could tell by the sound he made as he laughed. and Maria thought.

"I would like to see your smile, enslaved by the mask, one last time, my dear," she said. There was sadness on her face.

Baldwin was embarrassed. "You know it's impossible, Maria."

Maria frowned. There was a half-mocking look on her face. "Why is that impossible? Has the evil witch completely transformed your face into a silver mask?"

"No, of course not. But the man under the mask has already killed the beautiful boy you remember."

"Then how come I'm looking into that boy's eyes?"

Maria slid off the couch and sat on her knees on the floor, looking pleadingly at the man she loved. For Baldwin, this was the moment he had feared.

"I beg you, let me touch your skin one last time, my dear."

The healers did not yet know about leprosy. There was only suspicion in their conversations. Despite this, they made definite statements and the worst thing was that it was contagious. Moreover, the woman he loved wanted to touch him. If anything happened to her, she would never forgive herself. Even this idea was enough to terrify him and he quickly stood up. He was going towards the window to get away from her.

"No, Maria. Don't ask me to do this!" But his muscles had become one with his illness and betrayed him once again. Baldwin lost control of his body for a moment and stumbled. Maria cried out as he lost his balance. "My love!"

Baldwin was down on one knee, his left hand on the ground, supporting his arm.

He felt that the woman he loved had hold his arm to save her king. When he looked up, Maria looked at him with a feeling that was companions of love and fear.

"Oh Maria." He didn't want her to see him like this, but fate betrayed him once again.

Baldwin got up with Maria's help. There was almost no distance between them. They were looking into each other's eyes with love. Despite the illness, the fake marriage, the years that passed, their love had not diminished even for a day. They could see the storms in the sea of love in their eyes.

"Come on, let me touch you one last time, Baldwin."

"If it infected to you, then I'll die."

"Nothing will happen, I promise."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I have what those incompetent healers lack."

"What was that?"

"Wouldn't some stupid servant have been infected by now?" Maria put her hand on the mask. "If they understood enough about the disease to be sure it was contagious, why couldn't they find a cure?"

Baldwin took Maria's hand and caressed it. "Okay then, I'll take off my mask. But if you care about me at all, don't ask to see my face."

Maria objected. “But…” But Baldwin was determined.

"I want you to always remember me as beautiful, Maria. Like that child whose beauty you admired and confessed to. Otherwise, I will spend the rest of my short life as an unhappy man."

Although Maria wanted to prove that she would love him in any way possible, Baldwin's request prevented her. Maybe not with words, but nodded, avoiding her eyes.

She closed her eyes and waited. But the king had another plan. When he left the dream queen and did not return for a while, Maria opened her eyes. Baldwin approached her with a piece of black cloth in his hand. He knew that Maria was a stubborn girl, so he had to make sure her eyes were closed. His hair, made of golden threads, had fallen out, leaving a purulent, bloody scalp in its place. His facial anatomy, which resembled a Greek statue, was now in a state of great destruction. His lips were falling apart, the bones in his nose were melting. He was not ready for Maria to see him like this, and he would never be ready. His concreteness should live as a memory, in Maria's dreams.

He lifted the cloth up and folded it into a strip to fit his eyes. It was much better this way. He could now let her touch him freely. He placed the piece of cloth over Maria's eyes, wrapped it around her head, and tied it at the back as ribbon. When her eyes closed, the pinkness of her sweet lips could be seen in all its glory. What wouldn't he give to kiss those lips? Her kiss reminded him of God's forgiving side. But all he had to do was get rid of the mask. He took it off, praying that everything would go well.

While Maria was waiting for Baldwin, the world was pitch black for her. It was like a blind man trying to witness life. Her ears were much more sensitive now. She could hear the friction of the silver mask sliding across his skin. She waited. She waited for the best moment for Baldwin.

"Are you ready?" he asked. Maria had been ready for him years ago.

Baldwin gently held the girl's wrists, as cautiously as if he were holding a glass rose branch. He could not control his breathing rhythm in excitement as he brought her delicate fingers close to his deformed face. And when her fingertips finally touched his rough skin, Maria sighed with joy. He needed to feel this warmth so much that he had finally managed to overcome the despair that had been following him for years.

��Baldwin,” she said, her voice catching in her breath. The happy expression on her face gave way to a sad plea. She took his face between her hands and caressed his cheeks with the thumbs. "I missed you so much. I had a hard time not rebelling against the fate that separated us. But God rewarded me with you for my wait."

"You are the only sin I do not regret, the only sin I will not beg God to forgive me, Maria," Baldwin said. Nontheless Maria's fingers seemed to be trying to explore the face of the man she loved. She saw nothing. If someone else had been standing in front of her instead of Baldwin, it would not have mattered. Still, she saw the anatomy of his face not with her eyes but with her touch. Baldwin's words fueled the impossible love she felt for him.

"You too, my love," she said, rising on her toes and pressing her lips against the calloused, chapped lips of the man she loved. A passionate act that proves that she doesn't care about his illness. Maria's lips were the heaven Baldwin had not experienced in this life. Baldwin's lips must have been dark sin for a married woman. But this sin was only the price of their desperate separation.

They said goodbye to each other for the last time, feeling their skin, before their love was lost in the sands of Jerusalem. Baldwin's virgin lips were alive with a woman's lust, and he didn't want this moment to end. God, I wish time would stop right now. If only the fairy tale these two poor lovers were living would never end.

Maria put one arm around the king's neck. With her other hand she felt around his body and found his hand and held it. She put his hand on her breasts. She squeezed his hand together to show him that she wanted him to caress it. Baldwin's hand was on the princess's breast while her hand was on his hand. Their kisses were much more passionate now. Their tongues were dancing on the wet skin. Their lips were in awe, as if they were reading a verse from the Bible. Baldwin slid his hand from his princess's breast and down to the curve of her waist. Her body shape had such an aesthetic. Her rounded lines were satisfactory. He almost lost himself in the complicated paths of love. But he suddenly remembered that he had to protect the honor and dignity of the woman he loved. He didn't want her to see her as an unchaste woman who was cheating on husband with another man. Baldwin turned away from her. “We must stop now, my lady,” he said. “This is not right for you.” He took his mask from the table where it had been placed and began to place it on his face.

"But we both want this. Or have you given up on loving me?"

He was so close to her as he untied her blindfold, he could feel her body heat. "Maybe my body will not live thirty years, but my soul will be exalted with love for you, my queen." He said. When she removed the tape completely, Maria was once again face to face with the mask that had ruined the life of the man she loved. But despite everything, she was grateful that she could look into his eyes. "Forever," he said and she looked into his beautiful eyes as he finished the sentence.

Maria's eyes got wet again. "My love is yours forever, my king," she replied.

Unfortunately, the end of this miraculous moment came early. William called out before entering. She was startled.

"Your Majesty, I have to take the princess away now."

Baldwin caressed the girl's cheek one last time. "My moon-skinned love, with eyes brighter than the sun. You gave me the most beautiful gift in the world. Thank you, I am grateful to you."

He had so much more to say, but whatever he didn't talk about turned into tears in his eyes after she left. He had to calm down before going to the banquet and pretend that this moment had never happened.

[ernestnott]

I don’t know if any of you saw Les Enfants de la Pluie when you were young but I feel like James would be Skän and Regulus Kallisto.

[sunshinehoneyy]

“I wasted my wishes on you “

[mikefrawley]

Their Very Last Page

Her lover lives only in a picture frame I know him well and share his name Their stars aligned save for the years leaving him to write a love story in tears Now broken hearted and ancient in age with sorrow he pens their very last page

[81buttons]

Okay, so I'm posting this here, why? Ugh, I don't even know. This story is coming (when ?, idk but it will come; I have way too many ideas). It will be a Pearl Harbor!Danny Walker x OC, and I'd like to write a multi-chapter story.

For now, here's the cover and the title 😭

[petalsinfall]

I will never grow out my layers!!!!!!

[blank-eyez]

I never understood how painful this feeling is until i experienced it firsthand

[vanalex]

“Oh, to-night I gave you my soul, and I am dead!”

Credit: drea.d.art

[emmatgc]

Wonderful World FanFic

(This is only for Seon Yul and Soo Hyun shippers, nothing more. This is my own interpretation . This is a sequel to their story. New characters were added. This will be a mini novel for most probably 10 parts. Enjoy and thank you for the few who is supporting this! This is for you who made a request ❤️)

Part 3 : Sorry seems to be the Hardest Word 🌌

It is her ex husband, looking perplexed seeing Soo Hyun with Seon Yul after a very long time sitting face to face towards each other. Soo Hyun stood up and greeted her ex husband and they shared a kiss on the cheeks and a warm hug. In this moment, Seon Yul doesn’t know yet the full story. He feels very uncomfortable. The last time they saw each other, he was about to get punched at his trailer in the garage where he works. Su ho, stared at Seon Yum, also with awkwardness but he is the older one, the more mature, he thinks and he went to Seon Yul and extended his hand. 

Hello Seon Yul. I am sorry for what happened, he said. 

Seon Yul replied “It is in the past. Thank you”. 

So Ho turned his face back to Soo Hyun and she asked what is he doing in here. He shared he was there for a story and made use of his time to visit her mom. “I visited Mom. I was just in the neighborhood”.  Soo Hyun smiled and said “Thank you, she is doing fine. Im sure she was happy to see you”.  

“So Hu”, another voice called his name. It was a pretty petite woman dressed in white corporate attire with glasses and in high heels. So Hu gave a big smile and embraced the woman. He then introduced her to them. “Soo hyun, this is Liza Chang, my girlfriend”. Seon yul was shocked and his jaw dropped for a moment. He turned to Seon Yul, and didn’t know how to introduced him but nevertheless, introduced him to her. Soo hyun extended a hand shake and smiled while saying how lovely she looks. Liza is a journalist, too from America but of asian descent, Chinese American. They both meet during one of So Hu’s conferences abroad. So Hu bade goodbye to both and So hyun replied “ It was nice to finally meet her”.  They left and again, silence engulfed the two having tea. 

Driving back, it seems there is an ice waiting to break. Seon Yul is very confused. “Is Soo hyun single? But why was he visiting her mom”, “Is it my fault they broke up?”. His head hurts just thinking about these thoughts. The travel time from the tea house to the orphanage seems fast and he can’t seem to utter the words to ask her, might it be too personal but he is dead curious at the same time. Soo Hyun being always the initiator of talks, finally broke the ice just when they were about to arrive at the orphanage. She said “It wasn’t your fault. In case you’ll ask. So Hu and I were divorced for almost 5 years now”. Seon Yul wanted to reply and in his head he wants to ask her if she is sure and yet he replied “I wasn’t going to ask, it is too personal”.  She smiled and replied” Well then, good and stop thinking already”. 

The dinner was divine and everybody loved it.  Yoo Ra and Shi Joon both enjoyed the food and talked a lot about wanting to be of service a to an orphanage for a long time. Yoo ra, noticed Seon Yul not talking much, though she knows he is an introvert, went on to ask, how he and Soo Hyun know each other. Yoo ra was an exchange student 3 years ago and she doesn’t know much about Seon Yul’s past, Shi Joon is different however. He knows, a lot and almost everything for he witnessed everything that happened. Shi Joon, sensing Seon Yul’s hesitance to answer her question, said “Dr. Soo Hyun here is a famous author in Korea, Seon Yul is a huge fan, aren’t you Seon yul?  He replied “Yes” and smiling with thanks towards his best friend. In another time, if needed, he will tell her the story , “if needed” , in his mind he told himself. 

Soo Hyun did not join the dinner for she was working in her office. Seon Yul notices and can’t help but look for her and wanting to talk to her. He asked a staff and she said that Soo Hyun is in her study room. “Has she had dinner, yet?, he asked. The staff replied “She might have dinner with her Mom when she goes home. She stays half of the week here and half with her Mom who is nearby the orphanage so its very practical for her. She can just pop in and out here while taking care of her Mom”.

Around 8pm, Soo Hyun finally appeared and she went to the dining area where they were still bonding with the staff and she bade goodbye to all. Seon Yul wanted to talk to her so bad and again, he chased after her. “Excuse me, Ill be back”, he told his friends. 

Soo Hyun was getting some things in her study room and Seon Yul at the door said “I am sorry”. I know you told me It wasn’t my fault but I feel I am still at fault". 

She put her things down and replied “before you came into my our lives, we were already broken and apart, we tried again but it wasn’t meant to be”. Still Seon Yul repeated “Im sorry" many times to her that night for everything that happened. Soo Hyun told him she forgave him a very long time ago. She picked her things again, her bag and Seon Yul carried some of them towards her car outside. Heading to her car, Soo Hyun looked up and saw the moon as beautiful as it can be.

She remembered Seon Yul and her watching the stars. “The stars, I remember, the mother and son you said to me. I am sure my baby is happy now. This orphanage consoled me, after all”.  Once again, they both looked up the sky and the stars. Once again, together beneath it, they are together but this time not as enemies nor strangers but as two healing souls. 

Seon Yul without thinking asked “what are we now?, Friends?

Soo HYun replied “You don’t want me to be your guardian anymore?

Seon Yul: You insisted on that, not me, You were annoyingly interfering with my life. You were annoyingly kind. He said it while smirking

Soo Hyun this time smirking, too” Well, you haven't changed in your sarcastic tone a bit. You interfered, first, remember? You were annoyingly detached in this world not taking care of yourself either. But If you say so”. Then, let’s be friends, stalker.

Both laughed for the 1st time, a real laugh under the beautiful moonlight. 

Seon Yul’s parting words is “Take care” and Soo Hyun waved and replied” See you tomorrow, Doctor. You have a lot to do” 

He had this biggest smile of his 1st day in the orphanage while saying “See you and I’m at your service anytime, Boss”. 

Part 4: Start of Something New? 🌻

Seon Yul can’t stop thinking about Soo Hyun being single, again. This time it is not remorse or regret. He saw her in the 2 weeks they have been working together as happy, vibrant and full of life. Again, just like he admired her before from afar, her admiration doesn’t fade but only grew everyday in the orphanage. When a child suffered a fall, she was there to catch the child and cared for her like a Mom should. She spends at least 6 hours a day at the orphanage and Seon Yul now memorizes her routine. From her study room , to the clinic and supervise everything and more. He wants to see her everyday and those days he can’t, he feels restless. He just feels there is more to say to her or more to atone.

He feels he needs to serve her in any way to make up for his twisted revenge years ago but then he knows she has forgiven her already so he is very much confused with his new found feelings towards her. Is it regret? Remorse? Guilt or is it something else? 

In 3 weeks time, a lot has happened in the orphanage. It was found out most of the kids have cases of respiratory diseases due to their past upbringing. Some had traumatic injuries from fall from their abusive foster parents and some, because they were left behind, had blunt trauma that has to be addressed. The doctors suggested a Child Psychologist even aside from a clinic. Soo Hyun recognized this one and it weighs heavy on her. Not only because of funds but also the sustenance might be more than the staff and handle. She needs donors and she is asking for help for she needs a permanent doctor to stay or at least 3x a week and an on call psychologist. 

Now, its their last week as volunteers and Seon Yul’s friends are ready to leave but he on the other hand, he isn’t. It is not helping either that he hasn’t seen Soo Hyun for 3 straight days now. He doesn’t want to leave without seeing her or talking to her he thought.

So, he found the courage to ask her assistant why is she not coming these past few days. He was told her mom is sick and she went to the hospital. Seon Yul got really worried. He knew her Mom and she was so good to him. He asked her assistant where is the hospital or their house where he can visit but she declined to say. Now, Seon Yul won’t stop. He texted Soo Hyun. 

Where are you? Are you ok ? The text reads. 

Soo Hyun seemingly surprised and busy, decided not to reply just yet. 

Seon Yul borrowed Shi Joon’s car without asking for permission. He is that worried. Driving, he received a text. Soo Hyun finally replied. “Im at home with my Mom. Don’t worry”. 

She knows he is worried. He replied “where are you?”. Those words again and again. She thought he might not stop if she won’t tell him so she did tell him.

Arriving at their house, Soo hyun opened the door and said to him that he doesn’t have to be worried or really go in their house but he said he must and insists. Her mother saw Seon Yul and he introduced himself. He touched his face and tried to remember. Seon Yul said “Im a regular at your restaurant” and she replied” are you? Wow, what handsome customer I have then”. 

After 30 minutes, Yuri and So hu arrived , panting and looking worried, too. They hugged their Mother and Seon yul, for the 1st time felt something completely different than any of his feelings before. When he saw So Hu hugged her Mother and the mother smiled back, he thought, I should be also doing that but he brushed off the idea and contested to himself to stop thinking like that. He still calls him Mom and it made him cringed though he knows he doesn’t have to be and he doesn't know why.

Yuri was shocked to see him so as So hu. Yuri told Soo Hyun to go back to work and she will spend the night to take care of their Mother. So hu, on the other hand walked towards Seon Yul and asked what he is doing here. “I was worried “ Seon yul replied. So Hu, bluntly asked further “for Soo Hyun or Mother”, Seon Yul didn’t backed down and answered “For both?”. So Hu smiled and nodded his head “ Good”.

So Hu wanted to ask Soo hyun if she wanted to be brought to the orphanage but he saw a car and thinks its Seon Yul’s and maybe he thought, its better Seon Yul and Soo hyun go back together to the orphanage and not with him. He has things to discuss with her but it can wait. 

So Hu being in a much better place now is one of the few who thinks the relationship of his ex wife and Seon Yul is something that can’t be easily labeled or understood. He knew then more than anything not just a father who lost a son but as a guy who lost a wife. Now, after 6 years, they found each other again and he is nodding in disbelief but also acknowleding anything is possible and both are almost the same even if he hates admitting to it. There is something between them and they just don’t know yet and for him, it is about to unfold and he wants Soo Hyun to be careful and safe, whatever that means. He also wants Soo Hyun to be happy. He left and bade them all farewell and promising to come back. 

Seon Yul wants to go back to the orphanage first for he feels he rushed to her house and  overreacted a bit. He also feels he is invading her privacy and for whatever reason he reacted that way, rushed to her rescue without thinking if she really needed rescuing, he feels so confused and weirdly so. But then Soo Hyun caught him off guard and said “can I join you back at the orphanage? He then said “of course”. 

In his car, to be exact, in his friend’s car, Soo Hyun explained why her ex husband is still seeing her mOm. She said that having dementia, they want things to be the same for her, if that is what she wants, they just pretend and its ok as long as her mOther is ok. Seon Yul felt warmness while Soo Hyun was explaining and she on the other hand was confused why on earth she has been explaining about her Mother.  “I didn’t ask, you know” he said. “Yes, but you were about, to” Plus i just want you to know, she replied. Both again smiled.

I want to extend my stay here, Seon Yul blurted out. Would that be okay? Soo hyun, with a confused look asked “why, I mean, you are just volunteers, Im am sure you have more important things to do at the hospital, you are needed there, too and I can’t ask you that”. 

You are not asking, I am offering. My chief already said yes. For another 3 months at least. She replied “Are you sure about that? You don’t have salary here only allowance but I will try to find one for all of you. I promise” He replied “It doesn’t matter. I’ll help you until you find a permanent one”.

She was relieved and both smiled. Do you want me or not…to stay? Jokingly he asked. Soo Hyun answered sincerely, “Of course, I do. Thank you so much”. 

The truth is, Seon Yul hasn’t informed his team just yet and his chief. 

He called his chief and told him to let him stay for another 3 months but the other two can go back. His chief hesitated but also, realizes, Seon Yul earned another 2 months break but only if he promises to double time on his work when he comes back and to pay attention to the scholarships of short courses that is coming his way from abroad. He keeps on delaying them. He said yes to both things and ended the phone call. Soo jin heard the talk and they talked inside their room alone. 

“You lied to the Chief, 1st time.” He said while laughing softly 

Look sorry about your car. I did not lie, I just well, yes I did or at least made the decision 1st before him which I feel awful, he replied.

You always do crazy stuff when it comes to her. You know that? What is this all bout, Seon Yul? Why are you staying here? Seon yul replied” The orphanage needs me...us I mean”. 

Does the orphanage need you or you need it or her? Soo Jin forcibly uttered those words. Are you doing this because of your guilt towards her? It is in the past already, she said herself. Let it go, Seon Yul. 

“This is not about the past. I just want to help her. She needs me even if she won’t ask for it”

Or you need her, Seon Yul? Hmmm doesn’t matter, I guess, right? You are the same, You and her, you said a long time ago. 

Soo Jin sighing but tapping Seon Yul’s shoulders, as if to say “I got you, brother but be careful. You and her are kind but the world isn’t”. It is not that simple out there. 

What are you talking about? Seon Yul asked. 

Hmmm, honest to God , I don’t know, but you’ll see. This little bubble you both are in. It is weird but you have always been weird around her from the beginning. 

Little did they know, You ra was standing outside the door of their room, listening. She held her mouth, gasping and shocked with what she heard. The secret, at least a portion of it was out. 

Much of his emotions he cannot understand. He has simple emotions until he met Soo Hyun. The past was full of hatred and this time, was is it then? What is it about her ex husband that he was kinda pissed off about? He truly cares for her and then some. He shrugs it off as nonsense while in his bed about to sleep but he is staying here with her. Why?

He can’t stop thinking about her. He is saying he needs to do this to atone for his sins. Heaven knows it’s not for the children really but for her. He may not understand it yet but he just wants to stay and be near her he believes. Maybe then he will find his answers.

It is the start of something new indeed for him and her. The world be damned. This is their time. But is he really moving forward or is he stuck in the past?

[starlonga]

[divaofmads]

King Baldwin IV | Childhood Love

Part I

~Inspired by history

WARNING: I am an amateur for all these and apologize for any mistakes I made as English is not my native language.

🌹🌹🌹

It was the year 1171. Manuel I was trying to return the Byzantine Empire to its former glory. For this, he had to organize expeditions and be the leader of the emperors mentioned in the Eastern Roman Empire. However, it was difficult to act alone. He had suffered many losses during his invasions. Although the future he envisioned in his mind and the steps taken towards this future were working perfectly in his imagination, the foreign policy he followed should have been much more active and ambitious.

Moreover, the Muslims were getting stronger and getting closer to the Eastern Roman Empire. If this continued, it was only a matter of time before they would capture the Holy Land. The king of Jerusalem, Amalric, was able to protect his lands with the strategic planning he followed, but what about his heir?

All these ideas led Manuel to set his sights on Egypt. By uniting with the Kingdom of Jerusalem, they could lead a joint invasion of Fatimid Egypt, or at least weaken their power. Thus, Manuel took the first step towards political rapprochement by sending an envoy to Amalric, the King of Jerusalem at the time.

The Latin King was happy with his alliances. Although he knew that Manuel was not qualified to rule, he wanted to make the Holy Land impassable by adding Byzantine soldiers to his army. This required more than a political alliance.

Amalric knew that the Byzantine King had a daughter who had just turned nine, only a year younger than his son Baldwin, and that their union would be the most logical step towards continuing the Byzantine and Latin lineage.

Even though she was a little girl, Maria was more than just that. She was the princess who carried the blood of the Komnenos Dynasty. The responsibilities that were hidden like a sneaky snake behind her luxurious, rich and fairytale-like life had already begun to inject their poison into the little princess's childish soul to celebrate the arrival of the right time. While the sons of noble lineage were trained to ascend to the throne and rule their country, the most ruthless duty fell to the girls. To ensure peace between enemies or alliances, to act as a bridge. Noble girls did not have the innate right to marry the man they loved.

Empress Bertha had also been forced into one of these marriages. Although she had a good marriage with Manuel, she was afraid that her lack of choice would affect her, that she would suffer the effects of the golden collar that her noble lineage had put on her. This was the reason for her tension at dinner. Maria could not understand her mother's sudden reprimands: You don't hold your fork properly, you don't chew your food twenty times, don't get your clothes dirty, why isn't your hair in a braid?

It was obvious to everyone that the queen was not only projecting her anger onto her daughter, but also onto the servants.

The aristocratic families, lords and leading merchants of Constantinople were at the table. Emperor Manuel had asked them to come to his table to give him the good news. After dessert, he stood up and made a toast.

"My dear friends. You did not leave us alone in this beautiful night, I raise my glass to you first," he said and after he raised the glass to his lips, the other people at the table took a sip of their wine. When the Emperor spoke again, Maria was watching her father in surprise.

"As you know, the alliance we have established with the Kingdom of Jerusalem has been going on for years. However, we must protect our lands from the Muslims, prevent their advancement, and strengthen our ties with King Amalric against possible future Turkish threats. When the political strategies of the Latins and the wealth of our empire come together, we will have no obstacles to achieve our goals." The Emperor raised his glass to his daughter and showed how much he trusted her with his gaze, placing an unbearable burden on the little princess' shoulders.

"My dear daughter, the engagement of Princess Maria and the Latin prince Baldwin IV will establish insurmountable bonds between the two Empires and will finally be officially crowned."

Just this morning, the princess who had just left needlepoint class and was playing with her dolls was going to be engaged to Baldwin IV as the future Queen of Jerusalem. It sounded far away. The little girl looked at her mother. Two drops of tears flowed from her eyes and followed their paths down her cheeks and dropped onto the plate in front of her. Promise, engagement, marriage... Bertha was talking about all of them to her daughter. She had promised herself that she would marry the man she loved when the time was right. Even though she was young, Maria realized her mother's shame at not keeping her promise to her. The intensive training she had received since she had reached the age of awareness had turned her into an intelligent princess. She was much smarter than her peers and had a great ability to interpret events. She was also aware that no one would oppose the engagement. This was her fate. The ultimate end of princesses. She had no choice but to appear happy to her mother. She did not want to see her disappointed. She gripped Bertha's hand on the table tightly. The Empress looked at her daughter to understand what she had done and saw the happy expression in her eyes.

"I will be the queen of the Holy Land, won't I, mother?"

Emperor Manuel proudly answered your question that you asked with happiness.

"You will go down in history as the most talked about Empress of Rome and the Latin people." He raised his glass one last time and raised his voice. "Long live our princess!"

Constantinople was the Jerusalem of Eastern Europe. The Hagia Sophia church was the Masjid al-Aqsa of Christianity; the temple where Jesus would come to worship after being resurrected. The dress of the Virgin Mary from the Notre Dame Cathedral, the cross and nails on which Jesus was crucified, presented by the King of Jerusalem during the reign of Justinian, were reminders of his sanctity to the entire Christian world. Therefore, the Hagia Sophia church was deemed appropriate for the engagement ceremony. Of course, when the time came, the place where the relations between the two empires would be formalized was the land of Jerusalem.

That's why an invitation was sent to the land of Jerusalem as soon as possible with various gifts. A treasure chest with fabrics decorated with roses, jewelry, wines that were at least two centuries old...

Maria had begun to see changes in her life after the night her father had given her the news that he was getting married. She had never felt the benefits of her age anyway. However, now the number of lessons had increased, she had to attend banquets, and every evening she had to work on the next day's to-do list.

Maria became increasingly afraid of this marriage. When all her toys were distributed to the poor, her rag doll, which she could hide in a crack in the wall, was now her friend. Whenever she was alone in her room, she would talk to her and play games in her mind.

When her nanny knocked on the door, she would run to the crack and hide it behind the dusty stones of the wall. That's why the baby's white dress soon turned gray. Her dreams about the prince darkened as she saw the color of the dress. In her dreams, the man she would marry turned into a bloodthirsty monster. A monument of arrogance, the whites of his eyes painted red. Now she would wake up crying from her sleep at night. Her nanny would wait by her side, trying to comfort her.

The night she had another of these nightmares, she leaned her head on her nanny's chest and squeezed her arms in fear.

"Nanny, nanny; do I really have to marry the prince? I don't even know him."

"Oh, Maria! You must put this childishness aside at once. Lord Alexios' daughter took her child in her arms at the age of sixteen. Lord Romanos' daughter had just become a young girl on her first night of marriage; she was fifteen. Now you too must prepare for womanhood; stop behaving like a little child."

"They're coming tomorrow, aren't they?" she asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.

The nurse stroked the princess's hair. "They will be here tomorrow. Now rest," she said, and getting up, she laid Maria on the bed and covered her.

There was a normal bustle in the palace. The servants were running, the chefs were preparing the meals from scratch, and Lady Bertha was personally taking care of the palace decorations.

The person who was really affected by this bustle was Maria. While the servants were washing her in a tub full of water with rose petals in it, her nanny and a few seamstresses were trying to decide on her outfit.

While she was getting cleaned up nicely and putting on her clothes, there were noises coming from outside. It was too late. Little Maria was not ready. While they were putting a white silk scarf that was big enough to cover half of her hair on top of the bun they had made from braids, the nanny went to the window, pulling on the skirts of her dress.

"Jesus! Lady Bertha will ruin me."

She looked around then. Then he stopped in front of the maid who was holding the pillow with the crown in her hand and shouted.

"You are not here to be fools! God knows if I had the chance I would have chased you out of the palace long ago!" She took the crown in her hand and looked at it hopelessly. Still, the fire in her eyes did not fade. "I said the crown with the emerald stone."

Maria's awareness of the necessity made her surrender herself completely to what was to come, but she did not want to wear a crown, nor did she want to go down and curtsey to the prince she did not want to marry.

The welcoming ceremony was already over when the princess was ready. Bertha immediately went into her room and scolded first the servants, then the nurse.

"A bunch of idiots who don't take their jobs seriously!" She stormed out of the room and turned to look at her daughter. "Don't come downstairs now. I told them she was feeling a little unwell. She'll come down when it's time for the feast. If you can manage it, that is!"

The banquet table had everything the King of Jerusalem would love. Fresh venison was cooked over a wood fire, mixed with special sauces. Deer farming was not common in Constantinople, so it was brought from far away and placed in the middle on three sides of the U-shaped tables. The fish of the city famous for its sea were not forgotten, of course, they were caught in various ways and flavored with rich recipes. The wines were brought from the palace cellar, selected and served according to the King's taste.

Emperor Manuel watched Amalric's pleasure, so he didn't say much. Bertha was bothered by the queen's attitude towards Baldwin. She acted as if the prince didn't exist, and when Bertha brought up the subject, Queen Maria was quite insincere. She implied, though not directly, that her own children would make much better rulers.

"Baldwin is a very emotional boy. The Latin Kingdom did not survive on emotionalism. Amalric never gave the Muslims and Jews of Jerusalem a chance. He gave them what they deserved, not when it was necessary, but ruthlessly before it was necessary." He looked at his stepson with disdain and smiled falsely. "When Amalric leaves the holy land to Baldwin, it will be a matter of time for the Arabics to win."

Empress Bertha was so irritated by the woman's ambition that for a moment she did not know how to respond. She looked at Baldwin sadly. She could hear the conversation between his and his half-siblings, and the boy's mature demeanor for his age contradicted Queen Maria's.

"I have no doubt that he will make my daughter Maria happy. He is a clever boy and will be a king loyal to the Latin Kingdom," she said.

Meanwhile, Amalric asked about the princess. It had been a long time since she arrived and the future Latin Queen had still not arrived. Of course, he knew that the disrespect was unintentional, but he was not happy with the situation.

The emperor became angry. If he had no concern for strengthening the bond between them, his reaction to her threatening words would have been severe. However, now he saw fit to show his anger to his wife. He shouted and showed his authority. He ordered the princess to come immediately. At this moment, the door of the hall opened and the servant entered and introduced Maria.

Baldwin was suddenly distracted by a conversation with his siblings. Although he was only ten years old, he already had many criteria in mind for his future wife.

When Maria entered with her nanny, Baldwin couldn't believe his eyes. Her cherry lips shining on her skin as white as snow, her cheeks as warm as the land she was born in, her golden hair that the goddess Freya would envy when she saw it... The first thing that came to his mind was, "Is this a fairy?"

When Maria glanced around the room, looking for her future husband, she saw the boy staring at her intently. It had to be Baldwin. What should she think? He was a beautiful boy, she couldn't deny that, but would they get along?

The only couple who didn’t speak during the feast as the conversation deepened was the prince and the princess. Although they didn’t seem to like each other, they were both just shy. Maria followed Baldwin’s movements as he plucked a grape from the table in front of him and put it in his mouth, and when the little prince’s gaze turned to her, she turned her head in displeasure. A lady shouldn’t appear interested in marriage. That would symbolize her simplicity. But the Empress was not pleased with this coldness, and she knew exactly what would attract attention.

“I hope his majesty likes jousting,” she said, raising her voice.

"Of course," the king replied and continued. "The jousting in this city is done on horses, much more brutal. It's exciting."

"I hope one day my daughter and your son will duel each other. I'm sure it will be much more exciting," he said and sipped his wine.

The king could not hide his surprise. He frowned, thinking he had misunderstood.

"Is what I heard true? Does this naive princess know how to use a spear?"

Manuel looked at his daughter with pride. "She is still in the training phase, but she is quite talented. If she is going to be a queen who will make a name for herself in the future, she must be good at everything."

Queen Maria looked at him with a look of disdain. Yet she did not lose her hypocritical smile. "I suppose you take the Turks and Norse as an example."

"Of course. You will take the good aspects of your enemies as an example, so that they will have less leverage against you."

That day, the two betrothed hardly spoke because of the princess's secretive attitude. The prince began to think that he was not loved by his future wife. Until he started playing in the garden. While Baldwin and his brothers were playing in the garden, Maria preferred to stay with the two queens. While they were sitting in the palace garden overlooking the Bosphorus and having an evening tea, the voices of the children reached her ears. She heard how cruel the real children of Queen Maria, whom she deemed worthy of the kingdom, were. When she turned her head and looked at them, they would unknowingly use violence on Baldwin, and then call him a spoilsport so that the little boy would not complain. Even though Baldwin knew how bad they were, he had to get along well. Because Amalric adored his wife and therefore her children.

Maria could not stand it any longer and took the first step to defend her husband. She called out to her nanny, leaned in to her ear and said that she wanted to play with the children. Although her outfit was not suitable for playing with wooden swords, she allowed it in order to escape the princess's insistence.

"Okay, but I'll keep an eye on you, my lady. If you take the slightest hit, I'll bring you to me." The princess raised her eyebrows in a knowing manner. She looked proud. "Agreed," she said and got up from the chair and walked towards the children. In the meantime, the three brothers were arguing with each other. They were claiming that Baldwin cheated, even though he had won the sword race again and again.

Maria suddenly spoke up. "Why don't we do this duel as a group. Two on two."

Theo spoke up without waiting for his siblings. "You're a girl. Why don't you go have dessert and chat with our mothers like a lady?"

Maria replied with a smug air, her tone unmoved. "Is that another way of saying you're scared?"

Theo remained silent. He had nothing to say to Maria, for every word would be returned as a positive answer to the question he had asked.

Maria addressed Baldwin's tutor. William of Tyre was Baldwin's tutor and was always by his side; like a nanny.

"I want a wooden sword!" Then she looked at the three brothers and said, "William will be the referee and swear that the race will be fair."

Of course, her partner was Baldwin. Theo and Niko had taken their places, waiting for William's signal to start. Niko was looking at the princess with hostility. But he didn't know how good the princess was at observation. He had noticed every evil she did while fighting Baldwin.

When the duel began, Maria was swinging her sword with calm but rapid movements. Only when Niko would treat her badly would she defend herself harshly and quickly, taking the little devil by surprise. William of Tyre was one of those who did not like the queen's children, of course. It was a great pleasure to see Maria defeat him. The little brat had started to whine because of the wood that had hit his arm.

Baldwin laughed. "Niko, will you stop that? It doesn't suit you at all."

The moment Maria returned Baldwin's smile, they got closer.

Meanwhile, the two ladies watching them did not agree. Bertha was saying proud sentences about her daughter, and was constantly defending that she was the right wife for Baldwin. But the one who was not happy with this situation was the queen. The fact that her child was defeated by a little girl had stimulated her ambitious side, causing her to finish her glass of wine in one go.

The prince seemed to be inspired by Maria to defeat Theo. Now he had someone else besides William who loved and supported him. Your presence gave him confidence.

The defeat of her second son drove Queen Maria mad and she did not forget to scold William while shouting at the children to go to bed.

The prince and the princess had just found the perfect time to get to know each other, but it was not possible again. But the Empress called Maria and Baldwin to her side as if to oppose the cruel lady of the Latin Kingdom.

"Theo and Niko should listen to their mother, but you have much to talk about. Why don't you take a walk in the garden?"

The queen was angry, but necessity pressed her not to show her true face. She spoke through clenched teeth. The smile on her face was so forced that her facial muscles trembled.

"I almost thought you were against me, Lady Bertha."

"Of course not. It would be impertinent of me to interfere with your own children, but when I consider the blood relationship and the engagement ceremony of the two children, I conclude that my say in Baldwin's case is superior. I am sure you will understand."

The queen smiled and nodded with her uncomprehending personality. Her soul was too filled with arrogance to respond to the empress. Yet if you could hear the voice inside you, you would hear the shrill, mad woman's voice screaming.

Baldwin nodded to his mother-in-law. “Thank you, your majesty. I would like to inform you that your daughter is safe with me.”

Bertha smiled and returned the prince's respectful gesture with a slight bow of her head.

"What doubt is there?"

Baldwin pulled his fiancé by the hand. The two children began to run. They ran and ran until they were out of sight... Finally they came out onto a stone path surrounded by stunted trees. The path ended at the seaside, and it seemed they would have enough time to get to know each other on the path that stretched that far.

The princess avoided being the first to speak. In fact, she followed the rules in this period when neither palace etiquette nor men were given priority. But she was no longer sure of her feelings. Every question she would ask the prince was a step towards getting to know the man she loved. But would the prince be attached to her with the same feelings, she was not sure.

Things were not going so normally for Baldwin either. The reason for his silence could be that the princess did not like him or that he could not speak out of respect. Still, as a man, he had to have the first say.

"Tell me, princess? Are you afraid?"

Maria paused. "I think you can call your fiancé by her name."

The boy stuttered excitedly. "Of course I am, I'm just respectfully..."

Maria cut him off. She seemed pleased that Baldwin was excited around her. She smiled and continued walking. "No, I'm not afraid." She continued walking ahead. Baldwin increased his speed as he got closer to her so that she wouldn't see him smile.

"So when I think of Theo and Niko, you're different from them. That's good."

Baldwin got used to Maria as he was alone with her. He was no longer timid to keep up with her steps. He stopped the princess suddenly by grabbing her arm.

"You know, I was very scared. The first meeting of a couple is very important and determines how they will spend the rest of their lives. My fear was the moment I first saw you..."

Maria was about to hear things from the prince that a nine-year-old child would be ashamed to hear. So she interrupted him with a mocking look. "In which book did you read these words?"

Baldwin could not hide his surprise. He answered, avoiding her eyes. "Actually, it is not a quote from the book, William warned me when I came here."

Maria grinned happily this time. "I guess William likes to talk complicated with you."

While the prince looked at his fiancée with pride, Maria seemed lost in his proud gaze. No matter how quickly the harsh lessons he had been exposed to in his noble life had made him grow up, at the end of the day, she was still a nine-year-old child. Although her mind was well-developed for fancy speech, it would take her a long time to learn how to hide her emotions.

Maria sighed as she looked at the child's glowing skin. "You are so beautiful."

Baldwin was surprised to be the recipient of one of those compliments given to girls. Shouldn't he have thought of it?

"I don't understand, my lady."

Maria, confident, forgetting that she was breaking God's prohibitions, approached Baldwin and put her hand on his cheek and caressed it. Then her hair. As if she were playing with a rag doll.

"I've never seen a boy as beautiful as you. You really do remind me of the Greek gods I've seen in books."

Baldwin took a step back, away from his fiancée. He lowered his gaze and frowned.

"No, my lady. You deserve the compliment. Forgive me for not telling you in time."

Maria was as open and honest as ever.

"I don't care if you compliment me or not. I know you like me but what I said about you is true. You are beautiful."

Baldwin wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed or uncomfortable with the reversal of their roles. Still, he was flattered to be admired so much by his fiancée. The eyes that had looked at him with such admiration had last been his mother’s, and now his future wife’s. How could he ever forget the passion hidden in those eyes that had managed to fit every lake and forest in the world?

“Forgive me for interrupting, my prince, but we must return to the palace now.”

The two betrothed were embracing each other when William suddenly appeared behind them. He was happy that the prince had met such innocent love. That was why their childhood love was sacred to him.

The two children separated but did not let go of their hands as they turned to William. Baldwin held his princess's hand tightly. The night was long and they did not want to spend hours apart from each other.

Baldwin began. "The Empress has given us permission to be alone, Will."

"I understand, your majesty, but that was an hour ago." Then he looked meaningfully at Maria. "It is by your mother, Lady Bertha's order."

The little girl bowed her head helplessly and approved. Baldwin did not let go of his fiancée's hand. "Don't worry, my princess, when we get married, we will never be apart." Baldwin held Maria's hand tightly neither when he went to the queen nor when he entered the palace. But when the time came for them to leave and they went to their rooms, neither of the two children knew that it would be their first and last happy moment.

🌹🌹🌹

Maria stood in the middle of the apse with her fiancé Baldwin, listening to the priest's words from the Bible. Everything was perfect, and miraculous. Their people looked at them with envy. After all, even if they were not heirs, they were upper class people and had to marry men or women they did not want in order to make a deal or have better conditions. Everyone Maria and Baldwin had chanced to see in church was unhappy in some way or had cheated on their spouses, but the prince had held his future wife's hand tightly and promised to be by her side before presenting her with the priestly decorations brought personally from the Pantagrator monastery.

Maria knew how upset the Empress was. She was against political unions. She wanted to believe that her daughter truly loved the prince, but her logic believed that the happiness in Maria's eyes was just a mask she had developed for what she had to do. Yet her only daughter had acquired the most sacred feeling God had ever created at such a young age; what a great honor and a proud opportunity!

The princess raised her head towards the Empress's lodge and looked at her mother. She was aware of the embarrassment she was trying to hide behind her despotic gaze, and she was mature enough to smile confidently so that she would not feel guilty. Although Bertha did not respond to her daughter, she was pleased with her happiness.

At that very moment, little Maria noticed movement on the ceiling and turned her eyes to the seraph fresco. She was looking directly into the princess’s eyes from between her wings; the expressionless face she remembered had been replaced by sadness, and she could have sworn to swear by the two tears that were flowing from her eyes. Of course, it was impossible to hide her surprise at the sight she saw. Moreover, the princess’s reaction had attracted everyone’s attention, and a few curious people had fixed their eyes on the ceiling. They wondered what had affected the princess so much. Or would the sacred temple that Justinian had given to Jesus collapse again?

The priest had to nudge the princess with his words: the dynasty rings would be worn.

The priest presented them with the rings placed on the purple pillow. Baldwin reached for the ring first. The emerald stones, which were the companions on both sides of the diamond, were placed on the gold ring. The details were carved with Nordic shapes. However, when Baldwin put the ring on the beautiful princess, the drops of blood that hit the stones splashed and stained her finger red. The princess first pulled her hand away harshly and then looked back up at the frescoes on the cathedral ceiling. Everyone was surprised, unlike the priest. Because he had also witnessed what the princess saw when she looked at the ceiling. The ceiling was cracking insidiously, blood was gushing out from between the cracks, staining the temple. However, the guests were not aware of what was happening. Even Baldwin, despite being face to face with the princess, did not see or notice anything. He was only saying her name.

"MARIA, are you okay? Maria?"

The half dome almost collapsed on their heads. As the cracks widened, the blood flowing increased in intensity. The blood branching from the stained glass windows prevented sunlight from entering the church. The priest grabbed Maria by the arm and started pulling her away. It was as if red rain was falling on the cathedral. The nobles' expensively woven dresses, their bearskin furs, their crowns decorated with jewels could not be seen because of the blood. Despite this, everyone was calm, continuing to look at the apse. As if they were enchanted, as if everyone had entered a vegetative state.

While Maria was screaming and trying to run towards Baldwin to get him out of this pool of blood, the priest had already taken her to the second narthex. The little princess was struggling and begging the priest to let her go. The priest said that he could not do this, otherwise she would be one of those who drowned in blood.

The priest had finally managed to get out of Jesus' house with the princess. Now they were watching the nobles drowning in blood from afar. The two Houses were dying in agony along with their other nobles. There was not a single drop of blood leaking out. You were wondering what was going on inside, and you were crying out the prince’s name.

The priest tried to calm you down, but as the level of the red liquid seen through the windows increased, your ravings turned into pleas. The priest was begging you to be quiet. It was too late now. For the entire kingdom, for Baldwin.

“Maria! Maria! Maria!”

When she looked up at the sky, she could swear that the sun was practically calling her. Was it a divine call?

"Maria, please wake up, your majesty!"

When she opened her eyes, her heart was beating rapidly. It was hard to breathe as her chest rose and fell violently. She looked around with astonished eyes, straightened up, took the glass her nanny had handed her and drank a few sips of water. One of the maids was trying to clean the drops of sweat running down the girl's neck with a wet cloth.

The nurse asked, "What were you seeing, princess? I called out to you for minutes, but your moans did not stop."

Maria was still in the grip of what she had seen and was having difficulty regulating her breathing. The candles burning in the room, the high ceiling; none of them relieved the feeling of being trapped in a tiny box.

"I must speak to the father."

The nurse stammered. "For a nightmare? That doesn't make much sense. We must not occupy His Holiness unnecessarily."

The little princess stared at the woman and repeated her words harshly. The nanny, not knowing what to do, snatched the glass from the girl's hand and bowed respectfully to her, saying that they could go to the palace priest tomorrow morning after breakfast.

"Not the palace priest! We will go to Hagia Sophia. I am telling you this is important, are you really that stupid!"

This was the first time the nanny had seen the princess behave so disrespectfully. But this did not calm her anger. She clenched her teeth. How dare she criticize her intelligence? What she really wanted was to grab the princess by the arm, shake her, demand an explanation, and then beat her; unless she wanted to die in the dungeons with her skin flayed by the Pope right after doing so. Now all she did was to bow her head, holding the glass in her hand in front of her, and assure her that she would fulfill her request.

In the morning, the Latin Kingdom and the Byzantine Empire took their places at the breakfast table. The food did not only include products grown on the Empire's lands. Sugared almonds, cherries and citrons brought from overseas were another way of showing the guests how rich the table was.

The emperor and the king could not help but talk about their strategies even at the breakfast table. There were political implications and metaphors behind every word they used to describe how happy the entire Empire was about their children's engagements.

The two women, overwhelmed by their husbands' passion for work, had turned the conversation completely to the day they would officially become a family. The Empress turned to her daughter at one point and expressed her displeasure that the food on her plate had still not been eaten. Of course, Baldwin, who was standing right in front of her, could see that Maria was behaving differently.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go to church after breakfast."

Bertha looked at her daughter.

"what's this all about?"

Maria didn't want to talk about the dream she had. When she glanced at her father, she knew that he seemed to be interested in state affairs. She knew very well how obsessed the emperor was with dreams. He would definitely jump on her and make things worse.

"I just want to do a prayer of gratitude for my engagement."

"No way, you have a geography lesson after breakfast. After that, you will personally announce your engagement as the future king and queen. When you return to the palace, you must attend the banquet."

Maria pressed her lips together. She had no answer to say. The to-do list her mother had given her was endless. Besides, that day was her laziest day. No one but Baldwin had noticed her discomfort at not being able to go to church. She would use her intelligence to save her only love from the situation.

"I thought God's word ruled in Byzantine lands, your majesty."

Manuel stopped talking suddenly and looked at the little boy with a frown. He caught the attention of everyone at the table by banging the rings he wore on his five fingers, each set with a precious stone, on the arm of the chair. Baldwin's accusation was very bold. The tension between the two kingdoms was at its peak now. When Amalric tried to silence his son, the emperor interlaced his fingers at chest level without taking his elbows off the arm of the chair.

He looked very calm. This was an attitude that would never suit the emperor. Everyone knew very well how ruthless he could be.

"Tell me Baldwin, why did you say that?"

Baldwin, unlike the others at the table, was very relaxed.

"I apologize if I was misunderstood, your majesty, I just wanted to express that worshipping the god is much more important than lessons. She is trying to raise the princess in the best way possible, to make her like you, but this should not be a reason to delay her worshipping in Hagia Sophia. I am sure you think the same way I do.

The Latin king was still nervous. Queen Maria was pleased with Baldwin's impudent attitude. She could trick her beloved husband and get him the worst punishment. A good start to discredit his son in his father's eyes.

But the emperor answered the prince with a faint smile on his lips.

"Your apology is a part of your humility, a symbol of your lion-heartedness in defending what you know to be right. Very good Baldwin."

Then he glared at his wife.

"And my dear wife, I do not want to believe the idea that I have not attained the reason of a ten-year-old child."

Then he turned to his daughter.

"What is it that makes you want to go to church so badly?"

The princess lowered her eyes in embarrassment.

"Your Majesty, all I want is to go to church and give thanks. If you will allow me."

"Get ready after breakfast," the emperor ordered.

Maria looked at Baldwin from below and smiled coquettishly in thanks. Baldwin, however, continued to focus on the plate in front of him, without losing his haughty gaze.

When the princess and her servant arrived at the church, the priest was surprised. He had never been here before except on special occasions. Although he was sitting in his office working on state matters, he left his work unfinished. He went down the stairs and approached the princess standing in front of the apse. He was aware of the strangeness in her attitude. Maria was looking at the stained glass windows, the windows where she had witnessed blood choking people. She continued to look until the priest spoke.

"My princess, welcome."

When the princess turned to the priest, she felt uneasy as if her nightmare had come true.

"What brought you here?"

Maria swallowed. "I had a dream, Father Antonio. I wouldn't have come if I didn't think it was a dream worth listening to, but I think it's worth it."

The priest was aware of the fear and despair on the girl's face. He put his hand on her back and guided her to the pews in the nave.

"Come, my child, let's sit down and talk."

In fact, the priest was prejudiced against the girl at first. A little child could have been affected by a terrible dream. What she was going to listen to now could be complete nonsense. But at the end of the day, she was the princess and she had to listen.

Although the priest's face was so gentle when Maria started telling her dream, what she heard later in the dream frightened her. While blood was bad in itself, the fact that there were people drowning in it, and moreover, inside Hagia Sophia...

The priest asked, trying to control his excitement. "Were you among those who drowned in the palace?"

Maria answered, "No," and was about to continue her dream when the priest stopped her.

"No, my child, you don't need to continue because what you saw is just your fears." Even though he didn't want to lie, it wasn't right to tell a little girl what had happened. He had to talk to the emperor directly.

He continued, stuttering as if he knew he was lying. "Now return to your palace, my child. It's normal for you to be worried about the future because of your engagement ceremony, but there's nothing to fear."

Antonio accompanied Maria to the first narthex. No matter how comfortable she seemed, she now knew that the two kingdoms had heavy penances to pay. Moreover, this was much closer to home for the Latin Kingdom. Very soon, problems would arise in the holy lands, and she would be dragged into an impossible path.

Thank God, all these negativities would strengthen the little princess, and her suffering would grow her.

But what really frightened her was the fact that the third Crusade could resurrect.

[lefildariane]

All That Heaven Allows (Douglas Sirk, 1955).

[lexxwithbooks]

📖: 𝑩𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 📚👣🦈

✍🏽: 𝐄𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐲