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#IM TOO INSECURE TO TAG BUT I GOTTA
normystical · 6 months
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alr so uhh
radiosilence?
great. awesome. angst is rad. make that bitch suffer
but like what if. idk. one sided staticmoth?
like. vox likes him romantically but val is only into him sexually
AND ALSO !! WHAT IF , both at the same time. make him suffer twice because yes
i have been thinking SO HARD about alt names for these hh
for one-sided staticmoth i'm lost honestly. maybe something to do with bug screens? but tbh MothScreen would also be a decent name for regular shipping... also looked up moth names and i think the species "heart and dart" has potential??
OH AND (p.s.) i was thinking bugzapper/zapperbug but it implies the toxicity more than the unrequited feelings.. but ig the angst would involve both anyway right??
but anyway, as for the latter
like both unrequited romances
maybe uhh ReceptionlessDisplay or something??
i like it bc puns and double meanings and stuff but it doesn't quite roll off the tongue tbh ...
eats 100 tons of lead and dies
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marinerainbow · 1 year
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If Greasy ever complimented Poppy's physical appearance/features (I.E calling her pretty, or express any desire for her), I don't think she'd really take it seriously.
Even if she didn't know him personally, Grease has probably made a name for himself around Toontown with chasing women, so she'd probably still would have heard of his perverse nature. As such, Poppy would take any nice things he said of her with a grain of salt; just assume he was just looking for somebody and she happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Though if they did get closer, she would start to warm up to his words. Even if his words are still reddening, she knows he genuinely means it and doesn't just want to get in her pants.
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the unexpected aspec experience of opening up a word document to write more pages for an ~adult~ fic, happily writing a little bit, and then suddenly being completely uninterested in the subject material anymore. 0/10 very inconvenient, finishing this fic will take forever at this rate
#[pensive emoji]#this is why ~adult~ fics that include other stuff in them too are more consistently engaging to me#like. the logistics of an eldritch being being involved is interesting regardless of if I'm interested in the main focus of the fic or not#another example of other stuff that makes it always interesting to read is the character interactions on an emotional level#it can be fun and interesting to read even when I'm not actually interested in seeking out an ~adult~ fic if it reveals character stuff#or shows things about the dynamic between two characters. or shows something about their issues and insecurities and perspectives#adult times as a way of showing anything from manipulation to adoration to endless trust to longing for a closeness that isnt there...#theres so many interesting things that can be shown and explored. especially when its such an inherently vulnerable thing.#me when characters are put in an emotionally vulnerable situation: >:) yes ha ha ha yes#idk I'm just documenting an aspec experience here because it's interesting to figure out how to put my thoughts into words here#and explaining that 'yes it really Can serve more purposes to be put in fics than just being Into It' feels worthwhile#gotta throw my aspec perspective out there into the void#but yeah this post is about a spicy ford fic im writing that has no plot. which is why its being posted here lol#ive also mentioned aspec stuff on this blog before so it feels relevant enough to me#the community tag feels so dramatic i am sorry for any disappointment caused by this post not having anything in it beyond mentioning a WIP#but 🤷‍♂️ its technically the topic of the post i guess
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starflared-arrow · 6 days
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.
#dude I can’t take it I have like 6 drafts of me going fucking insane over kieran I actually cannot handle this many emotions#HES WAYYY FUCKING COOL#HES EVERYTHING TO MEEEEE UUURHHGHGHGHGFHH BANGING FIST ON THR GROUND#seeing kieran slander physically hurts me like shut UPPPPPP YOU DONT GET IT YOU DONT GET IT ARRFHHGHGHFHHGHJGH#sorry. normal. normal.#idk how I even fucking survived playing through the game like every sentence out of his mouth or anything#any dialogue that was marginally related to him gave me the urge to throw my switch across the room#I can’t. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t take it#EVERYT(ING ABOUT HIM. HES SO.#like….. he’s so deeply relatable to me… it’s rare to me to find a character that resonates with me this much#especially on this aspect like ughhhhh fuck you. fuck you!! shut up!!!! DONT CALL ME OUTTTTTT#watching kieran is like watching myself from third person and oh. oh man. you were fucking WEIRD. get a GRIP?#‘were’ don’t kid yourself you still ARE. oh my god.#its like getting blasted straight in my face with my own insecurities like shut up. stop it.#you’re. you’re ruining my perfectly crafted facade. I haven’t flaunted this insecurity enough to be in control of it yet can u. stop.#BUT HE GIVES ME SO MUCH HOPE THO. LIKE#I can do it too-! maybe there’s hope for me yet#uuuughhghhhhhh#stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger#head in hands#I’ve been slacking….. shaking head I gotta keep up the momentum#just do it!!!!#it’s been a month+ since… I need to do it. I need to change. you’ve been getting behind… you can still do it…!#write a list…? probably have to… even I’m starting to forget#1) be honest. don’t. don’t change yourself to be ‘palatable’. you’re ryu. your friends will love you no matter what you do because im me#don’t hide away your true self it’s ok!!!!! you can say what’s on your mind you can say your opinions#your preferences… don’t lie….#they won’t hate you they won’t take it personally they want to know about ‘you’ after all… ryu#2) just talk to your friends…. there’s nothing to hesitate about. they understand even if you’re low energy they understand if you’re busy#reached the tag limit fuck
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kitten4sannie · 9 months
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pairing: ex! san x fem! reader feat. wingman seonghwa and instigator mingi
genres: omg actual plot ??, exes to lovers, romance, angst with a happy ending, fluff, an attempt at humor, smut finale
summary: during a winter getaway with your friends, you end up having to come face to face with Choi San, the man who broke your heart in two just last christmas.
w.c: 8.2k
tags: features the unholy trinity: misunderstandings/miscommunication/messiness, drama (i bring drama-ma-ma-ma~), alcohol use, mutual jealousy, mutual pining, lots of banter, third parties, poor sannie and reader are just two big dummies with even bigger hearts </3,, like 20 flashbacks (okay it’s like 2 but i like being dramatic sue me), too many winter analogies, insecurities, confessions, l bombs, tears, all that jazz
warnings: soft dom! san (literally the softest dom to ever exist IM SICK), subby! reader, pussydrunk san and cockdrunk reader (like these mfs are so desperate for each other it’s actually disgusting), dirty talk, pet names, praise, possessiveness, kissing, a lot of spit (leave me alone!!!), tit play, grinding, body worship, oral (receiving), passionate condomless lovemaking by the fire baybeeeee, breeding kink, bulge kink, creampies
a/n: so i listen to last christmas religiously every year and while i was jamming my hamster brain was like “WRITE WRITE WRITE” so i diddd and yeahh this happened??? lmao but fr this was the most fun i’ve ever had writing since feb filth fest…. like wtf. i gotta write plot forward fics more often this shit’s like a drug man. anyways i hope you enjoy my dear lovelies <33
*shoutout to my sweetheart bunbun @cottoncandy-girl for beta reading and hyping this fic up during the writing process. i would’ve second guessed myself twice as much if not for you. you’re a lifesaver!! mwah mwah ~~
song rec for the general vibe: last christmas by wham obv <3, fool by frankie cosmos, snowfall (slowed and reverb) by oneheart, know me by gemini, easily by bruno major, flowers and chocolate by eyedress
angst: pleaser by the wallows, do me right by gemini, homesick by wave to earth, cherie by hojean
smut: mice city by hotel ugly, between your thighs by jimmy brown, lock me in by hojean, touch by keshi, your love by brb
Masterlist
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“Hey, Y/N,” your best friend began, walking around the side of your beat-up car to the trunk where you were busy shoving various suitcases and bags into the small space and trying to make them fit. “So, don’t get mad, but–”
With a case of wine bottles in hand, you slowly set it down on the lip of the trunk, side-eyeing your friend with the intensity of a thousand suns. It was so powerful, it’d probably melt the snow that had been falling around your feet for the past thirty minutes. “Why would I be mad? What’s going on?”
“Just breathe for me, okay?” she sighed, bringing a hand up to play with a few strands of her hair. “So, you know how Seonghwa’s coming up to the cabin with us?”
“Um, yeah…? I don’t care about you bringing your boyfriend with us, you know. Just let me know if you’re gonna fuck so I can put my headphones on,” you replied, lifting the case up and pushing it inside the empty space of the trunk, satisfied that your long game of tetris was finally complete.
She quickly waved her hands, shaking her head. “No, that’s not…” she started, taking in a deep inhale, before letting it out, a wave of condensation hitting the cold air between the two of you. “He invited…someone. Someone you know.”
You bent down into the trunk to move a few items around, making sure they wouldn’t collapse on each other. “Okay? I only know you and a few other people, bestie. Who could it possibly be–”
“It’s San,” she finally blurted out, her face scrunching up in anticipation of your reaction.
Once your ex was spoken into existence again, a flood of memories from the previous year bombarded your defenseless brain and heart, causing you to stand up so quickly, you hit your head on the edge of the trunk lid.
“Oh my god, Y/N, are you okay?” your friend gasped, already at your side, helping you stand up straight and placing her hand on the one you had held against the back of your head.
“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I think that just knocked all the bad memories out of my brain. Ready to head out?” you chimed, giving her a thumbs up with your keys in hand, stumbling a bit in place, your vision fading out slightly.
Sighing, your friend reached for the keys. “Yeah, I’m driving.”
❆ ❆ ❆
Your friend pulled her keys out of the ignition once she parked in a free space near the cabin you’d both be staying at, turning her head to observe the way you were playing with the drawstrings of your joggers with a pout on your sullen face. “Y/N, are you sure you’re okay? You know, we’re visiting everyone else later, so you can always stay at their cabin, if you’d like. It’s much bigger and has wifi, and definitely won’t have S–”
“I’m not a little bitch,” you suddenly whined, your eyebrows furrowed, your pout growing. “I can handle being in the same cabin with my dumbass ex, okay? I don’t even care that he’s here, actually.”
She nodded her head knowingly, giving you a gentle smile. “Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable, please. And if he starts up with one of his…unique personalities, tell me or Seonghwa, alright? He knows how to handle him.”
“I can handle him myself. There’s plenty of snow for me to toss him into, or some flames if our cabin has a fireplace,” you muttered, too stubborn to admit that your heart would most likely explode as soon as you had the displeasure of witnessing his disgustingly handsome face and charming dimpled smile.
Your friend shook her head slightly, unable to keep from smiling in your direction. “There is a fireplace, yeah.”
You sighed contentedly, admiring the expanse of dense snow, the sundry of oversized pine trees, the far away mountains covered in white, and the cluster of cozy-looking cabins beyond the frosted windshield. “Finally, some good news.”
Once you both got to the front steps of the cabin you’d be staying at, your arms full of the items that you could bring from the car, the front door swung open, almost giving you a heart attack on the spot.
“Baby, you’re here!” Seonghwa gasped, pulling your friend into his arms when she set her stuff down on the porch and spinning her around in a small circle, his eyes twinkling with pure adoration.
Once Seonghwa acknowledged your presence with a warm greeting, you stood off to the side while your friend and Seonghwa kissed and giggled with each other, your arms beginning to feel like jelly, wishing someone would just stamp the words “third wheel” on your forehead already.
“That looks heavy,” you heard someone say in a deeply familiar baritone voice, causing you to whip your head towards the origin, your wide eyes meeting San’s concerned coffee brown ones. “Do you want me to carry it in for you?”
“San,” you automatically blurted out, alarm bells going off, the mini versions of you running around in panic inside your head, your fingers clasping tighter around your things.
“Y/N,” he parroted back in the same cadence, already moving closer to you, his arms sliding underneath your belongings and holding them up with ease, his navy sweater doing nothing to conceal the solid mass of his arm muscles. “Is it like, misogynistic for me to carry your things?”
You opened and closed your hands, trying your get rid of the pins and needles. “No, I’d say it’s progressive since it’s a big dumb caveman carrying my things, so women: 1, patriarchy: 0.”
San offered you a dimpled smile, his wide shoulders scrunching up slightly, as a hearty laugh emanated from his throat. “Caveman, I like that. Should I go find a cave to explore?” He tilted his head, his eyes flitting between yours and your pleasing body line. “Maybe try to start a fire?”
Your heart leapt into your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. You sneered, already beginning to push past him to enter the cabin, only turning your head back to tell him, “Start a fire and jump inside, caveman.”
San smiled at you, seeing right past your act, watching you walk away, before turning his head to look at the two lovebirds still hugging on each other. “See that? She already gave me a pet name.”
❆ ❆ ❆
“Fuck,” you groaned, dropping yourself down onto the surprisingly comfy mattress in the cozy guest room you were occupying, finally done with putting your clothes and toiletries away in their respective places, for the most part, also noticing that the violent hammering inside your chest had subsided.
And then your door opened.
“Yo, this cabin is pretty sick, right? It’s got a nice, cabin-ey feeling to it,” San announced, walking into your room and looking around like he owned the place. Typical San behavior. Whistling casually, he eventually headed over to your side of the bed, picking up a few skincare products that were sitting on your bedside table to study them. “Does this retinol shit really work?”
“Excuse me, but are you lost? This is my room,” you combated, not bothering to get up from the bed you were currently sinking into, simply turning on your back and lifting your head up slightly to glare at him.
“Bro.” San clutched his chest like you had just emptied a clip right in between his tits, his eyebrows turning upwards, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Why do you act like we haven’t been inside each other?” He climbed onto the bed, looking down at you past his black bangs. “Matter of fact, I know you better than your little friend downstairs.”
You stared up at him, cursing yourself for wanting nothing more than to grab him by his stupid face and kiss him — but you wouldn’t, not after what he did. “You’re so gross.”
“Like in a sexy way, right?” he quipped, chuckling when you just shook your head. San slowly laid himself down beside you, looking up at the ceiling, reaching up behind his head and cupping the back of it to get more comfortable. “You didn’t argue against the fact that I know you better than your own self proclaimed ‘bestie’, you know.”
You let out a small sigh, resting your hands down at your sides, gripping the quilted blanket underneath you, your heart pounding inside your chest just like it did last Christmas. Did you ever fall out of love with him? Was that why your heart felt so stuck? Frozen in place? Like it was waiting for San to make it beat again? “Well, for once, you’re not wrong. I…let you in back then, obviously, so yeah, you know me better than she does. You know me better than anyone.”
San began to reach for your hand, hesitating for a second, not even realizing his walls were just as high. If only he could gather the courage to bring them down. “Y/N…”
You turned to look at San just as he turned his whole body towards yours, giving you one of his infamous gazes, his eyes closed ever so slightly, his lips parted, drawing in a breath. He lowered his hand, touching the top of yours, rubbing it with his thumb. “You know what else I know?”
Why did he have to do this to you? Just what the fuck was his problem?
“What, San?” you questioned underneath your breath, seconds away from losing it completely.
His eyes lost their playful twinkle, instead displaying sorrow. “Y/N, I–”
Seonghwa popped his head into the room. “Y/N, have you seen– Oh,” he deadpanned, displaying an oddly delighted smile for a split second, before his lips evened out. “We’re heading to the hang out now. It’s gonna snow pretty hard in a bit so it’s now or never.”
You both sat up from the bed, your cheeks burning like you had just been caught, well, inside of each other.
Seonghwa was about to say something when your friend walked up behind him and pulled him into whisper something, causing him to whisper back, the both of them nodding at each other.
You and San exchanged glances, before all four of you looked at one another. “Are you hiding things from me, pookie?” you playfully asked your friend, pouting.
“No, I’d never hide anything from you, pookie wookie baby bear!” she cried dramatically, running into the room and tackling you back down onto the bed.
San looked to Seonghwa, making grabby hands at him. “Where’s my hug?”
Seonghwa clicked his tongue, pointing at San’s thin sweater as it rose past his hips. “You better put on some more layers before we go, pookie bear. It’s cold as balls outside.”
❆ ❆ ❆
Instead of hanging out inside your friend’s friends’ cabin where the party was at, you loitered outside in the snow, building yourself a snowman. Maybe he’d stay by your side longer than the last one.
“Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself, ba–” San started, standing with his arm just barely pressing into yours, immediately clearing his throat, sticking his hands into his coat pockets. “Y/N, I mean, heh, sorry I’ve had a few drinks.”
You almost broke the empty beer bottle you were using as the snowman’s nose inside your hands from hearing San almost address you as baby, turning your head to look at the adorably goofy smile he had on his stupidly cute face. You bit your lip, wishing he would just say it, the layers of ice around your heart starting to crack. “I figured. Well, how come you’re out here with me, instead of shotgunning a beer or something with your caveman friends?”
Amused, San nodded his head, impressed by your ability to keep up with your shtick. “They’re too busy hanging around the fireplace, you know. The fire’s so pretty, they got distracted.” He grinned at you, grinning harder when you began to smile back at him, his heart skipping a beat at the sound of the giggle that escaped your lips. “I missed your giggle…missed you…” he murmured absentmindedly, pretending to stay busy by helping you round out the head of the snowman, while you stuck a rock into it where one of the eyes would be.
You dropped the other rock, standing still, feeling your mouth go dry. You racked your brain over his words, wanting to ask him why he didn’t stay with you in the first place if he was just going to miss you so much. You missed him too. You wanted him to know.
By the time you had made up your mind, San had picked up the rock and stuck it into the snow, completing the snowman’s face. “There we go. Mr. Snowman’s looking real nice.” He waited for a second, before turning to look at you with a concerned pout. “He’s not cuter than me, right?” When you didn’t respond, he blinked, leaning in. “Y/N?”
Instead of responding, you found yourself wrapping your arms around San’s neck, pulling him into a hug. You didn’t even say anything — you just focused on feeling his warm body against yours, recalling what it felt like to be his. His baby. If only he would just say it.
“Baby…” he whispered just under his breath, so carefully, like he risked the chance of causing an avalanche if he spoke any louder, gently rubbing your back in circles, automatically resting his head on the top of yours like he did last year. “What’s this about?”
“I don’t know, I just–” you murmured into his chest, your own about to collapse in on itself from hearing what he said, hugging onto him a little tighter than before, wishing things were different. “I…I think I’m drunk…”
“Oh…” San replied, swallowing harshly, only pulling away once you started to. He tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, giving you a concerned look. “You should come back inside and drink some water, then. Seonghwa was right to tell me to check up on you.”
Your face fell slightly, the bottle that was stuck inside the snowman drooping inside the melting snow as if it was mirroring your disappointment. “You…only came out here because Seonghwa told you to?”
“Well, I mean, he was the one that noticed you were gone, so he just thought I should make sure you were okay, yeah…” San explained, rubbing his arm.
You nodded your head, a soft smile returning to your face, not wanting San to see the hurt you felt, not yet, anyway. You were still able to hide it as of late. “That’s nice of him.”
“Yeah, Hwa’s a sweetie,” San mused, noticing the sad snowman, reaching out to fix the position of the beer bottle. “Too bad he’s taken, otherwise I’d be wifing him up and giving him the exclusive Choi San Caveman Experience. There’s a trademark on that, by the way.”He gave you another goofy smile, his smile growing when you offered him a few small giggles.
“I think you need water more than I do,” you mentioned, gently punching his arm.
San chuckled, his smile softening, wanting to say so much more than just, “You might be right.”
After a few seconds of too much silence, and too much yearning for an important conversation to take place, you instead pointed to the lively cabin behind you. “You should go get some. I’ll be back inside soon.”
“Okay, sounds good.” He put his hands back into his pockets, lingering there for a moment, before heading back inside.
You stood there for a while, watching the makeshift nose of the snowman begin to droop again, before you reeled your foot back and kicked into the base of the snowman, watching it topple over and fall apart.
❆ ❆ ❆
You lingered near the spiked punch bowl that sat inside the corner of the cabin’s empty kitchen, drinking down a solo cup’s worth of the fruity beverage and tossing the cup into the sink, not noticing another person’s presence until you turned to the side and bumped your nose into their broad chest. “Oh, shit– I’m sorry,” you apologized, backing up a bit to see that you had ran into no one other than Song Mingi, the man you had trauma dumped and cried to for an hour before having mindless rebound sex with after San dumped you. “Min, hey. Long time, no see.”
“Y/N. It’s nice to see you again. Very nice,” Mingi mused, taking a long sip of his drink, just studying you with his amused, half-closed eyes, pointing upwards with his finger. “What are the odds of this?”
“Hm?” Your eyes followed where he was pointing until your gaze settled on the mistletoe that hung from the doorway above the two of you, a memory of the past immediately lighting up the insides of your brain like the flash of a camera, the snapshot still fresh in your subconscious as though it had never faded in the first place, much like your feelings for San — but who were you to admit that to yourself?
“Jesus, what is with people and mistletoe?” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your itchy christmas sweater, ready to shield your eyes so you didn’t have to look at the two people vigorously making out underneath the red berries that were hung from the ceiling of the crowded cabin.
San hovered near you, running a hand through his hair, his eyes studying your scrunched up, flushed face, wondering how you could be so cute. “The origin of mistletoe is actually really romantic, y’know.” Once you met his gaze, his lips curled into a smile, his dimples making an appearance.
You gripped onto your sweater sleeve, smiling softly back at him, your annoyance fading. “Tell me about it then, Mr. Historian.”
San’s eyes sparkled at your reaction, his shoulder gently pressing into yours as he brought his drink up to his mouth. “Mistletoe has always been able to survive in the harshest of winters. Even when everything’s frozen…” When he lowered his hand, the side of his pinky touched yours, sending warmth into the both of your bodies. “….it still finds a way to bloom.”
You took in a quick breath, having to look down at your feet before your heart burst out of your chest as an unintentional ode to Alien and ruined the annual christmas party. “I didn’t peg you as a hopeless romantic, San.”
“I’m full of surprises, baby.” San hummed, gently taking your chin in his grasp and pressing a kiss to your lips, giggling delightedly as you buried your scorching face into his chest, his heart pounding, wanting nothing more than to show you just how hopelessly in love he was with you, but too afraid to grant you access to the very intense, very full extent of it, let alone himself.
He was full of surprises, so full of them that he was able to show such a meaningful display of love to you and still break up with you on the very same night, with little to no explanation, just a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ Choi San was truly an enigma — one you cursed yourself for still wanting to grasp, to hold, to forgive.
You looked down at Mingi’s drink only for him to motion for you to take it, immediately downing the punch until you were sucking on an ice cube and crunching it between your teeth, satisfied with the buzz coursing through your body, bitterness still seeping its way in your veins. You knew that what you were about to do wouldn’t make you feel any better, but you did it anyway, grabbing Mingi by the collar of his ugly Christmas sweater and smashing your lips against his. What you didn’t know, however, was that San was standing at the end of the hallway, with his hand in his coat pocket, there to witness how Mingi pressed you into the wall.
❆ ❆ ❆
Your friend slowly inched her way towards you from across the brightly lit, festively decorated living room full of your boisterous acquaintances having a battle with each other to determine who could be the loudest, drunkest individual in the room. Currently, it was San, unsurprisingly, who had a beer in one hand while hugging onto the obscenely large Christmas tree in the middle of the room. You couldn’t tell exactly what song he was singing, but you were pretty sure it was a romantic, mostly cheesy pop ballad from the 80s.
“Having fun?” your friend gauged softly, sitting down on the sofa in the corner beside you, clinking her glass beer bottle against yours.
You shrugged, taking a few sips of the chilled beer, crossing one leg over the other. “I made out with Mingi earlier, so that was cool, I guess.”
“You what?” she gasped, pressing closer to you, grabbing your arm and shaking you. “Y/N, oh my god, that’s so —” Her gossipy tone turned into one of concern. “But what about San?”
“What about San?” you grumbled, internally annoyed that all you could think about was San when Mingi’s tongue was down your throat. “He probably already did the same thing, considering how torched he is.”
She sighed, sinking into the couch, very well aware of how San truly felt about you, last Christmas, and how much he wanted to turn things around. Of course she would know. She had to hear it from Seonghwa, who in turn heard it from San off and on for the entire year, but she wasn’t about to speak for him. He would have to do that himself.
“Are you going to play truth, dare, or drink with us?” Mingi suddenly asked you, leaning his hip against the side of the couch, causing you and your friend to look up at him.
“Ehh.” You shrugged your shoulders at him.
He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it, feeling someone’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head, figuring San was watching the both of you from the tree, who indeed was, his hands tightening around his beer and the scratchy pine needles he was holding onto. “It’ll be more fun if you join in, Y/N. How bout it?”
You sucked on your teeth for a second, your eyes moving past Mingi to gaze at San across the room, who was now talking to a girl who had came up to him, your stomach sinking at the clear appearance of his dimples. Stupid caveman.
You stood up, fingers squeezing around your poor beer bottle. “Fuck it, I’m in.”
“Good, good,” Mingi replied, smiling absentmindedly, bringing his own drink up to his lips, as if he wasn’t aware of the disaster he was about to bring into fruition — and all for the chance that he could recreate the events of last year’s Christmas party. It led to him having a pretty, teary-eyed girl in his bed to take care of, after all.
❆ ❆ ❆
“Yo, I can’t believe — he actually — I can’t breathe,” someone gasped out in between soundless laughs, falling back into their chair along with their other friends, pointing at San as he trudged back into the cabin past the sliding door, clad in only a form-fitting pair of Christmas themed boxers, wiping some snow off of his shoulders, before immediately going for his mixed drink and tossing it back victoriously, one hand on his hip.
“You bitches really thought I wouldn’t do it,” San chuckled self-righteously, taking another sip, before letting out a low ‘aaah’. “Someone owes me 20 bucks. Which one of you was it?” He held up an accusative finger to one of the girls nearby, who giggled and held her hands up defensively. “It was you, wasn’t it? Give it up!”
The rest of the group laughed in response, drunkenly leaning into each other, gleeful smiles plastered on their flushed faces.
“San’s pretty lively tonight,” Seonghwa said near you, nudging you gently with his elbow. “It’s almost kind of cute, huh?” Poor man was out of the loop, but he was trying, bless his heart.
“Cute?” you muttered, raising an eyebrow at him. “He’s butt-ass naked at a Christmas party. He’s a grown man wearing boxers with candy canes on it. What on earth is cute about that?”
Seonghwa pursed his lips, side-eyeing you. “I don’t know, I just thought you’d agree with the way you’ve been staring at him all night.“
You almost choked on your spit, bringing a hand up to your hair to smooth it out. “Well, it’s hard to keep my eyes off of him when he’s being an annoying ass pick-me like that.”
“But you picked…him.”
“I did. Ages ago, Seonghwa,” you corrected him, watching San out of the corner of your eye, unable to believe that he was letting the girl slip a twenty directly into the waistline of his boxers. As soon as you looked down, San’s eyes were on you, his lips turning into a frown, immediately pushing the girl’s hand away when it lingered a bit too long, his eyes filled with bitter determination. “You know what he did to me. He spent all that time getting my hopes up all year long, only to hit me with the ‘i’m bad with commitment’ card before he left the party last year. That’s bullshit and we both know it.”
Seonghwa sighed in defeat, sinking back into his seat, biting at his lip. “I get what you’re saying, Y/N, I really do. It was unbelievably shitty for him to do that to you, but San…I think he really regrets it. All he talks about is you, Y/N.” Seonghwa turned to face you, gently touching your wrist. “He’s always loved you. He just doesn’t know how to verbalize it.”
You started biting at your lip too, simply listening to your friend’s words, wondering if there was any truth to them. It’s not like you were hearing them from San himself. That would be a different story — though you didn’t know if he was even capable of that kind of vulnerability. “I’d like to believe that, Hwa. I just…”
“Oh my god! With tongue? My virgin eyes!” someone gasped loudly at something, covering their eyes, their friends laughing at his dramatic performance.
“At least someone’s getting some,” Mingi chuckled, while eyeing you, currently holding up the same piece of mistletoe you had encountered together earlier, only this time someone else was under it. Someone that made you wish you had never even came up to the cabin in the first place.
“There’s no way…” you whispered to yourself, unable to take your eyes off of San, who was holding that same girl against him, his hands clutching her hips, his tongue halfway into her mouth by the time you got up from the couch and grabbed a water cup from the coffee table, determined to keep your tears inside your body before you stormed out, but you had to answer to your demons first.
“Y/N, he’s just drunk! He’s trying to make you jealous, okay? He’s being an idiot! Y/N, listen–” Seonghwa tried fruitlessly to reason with you, reaching for your wrist, only for it to slip out of his grasp as you made your way up to San and the unsuspecting woman.
Your bitter, frozen heart quelled you to toss the water at San, watching it splash onto the side of his reddened face, the shock of it sobering him up almost instantaneously, causing him to pull away from the woman and look at you, the weight of his faulty decisions hitting him square into the chest when he saw the tears in your eyes. “Y/N…I…I didn’t mean….I just…” Tears began to form inside his own eyes. “I just wanted you to see me.”
“I see you, San,” you whispered, your voice cracking underneath the weight of your emotional turmoil. “I’ve seen enough, actually.”
San froze in place, while what felt like cement sink to the bottom of his stomach, unable to get himself to stop you from grabbing a freshly opened bottle of booze from someone’s hands and walking away from him.
Your friend tried in vain to reason with you, getting hit with a death glare, before you stormed out. She turned to Seonghwa, whispering “Do something,” encouraging him to run over to San, grabbing him by the shoulders and temporarily keeping him upright.
“San, listen to me.”
San sniffled, his nose sporting a pink hue, as hot tears began to drip down his clammy face, sinking down to his knees, watching as Seonghwa sank down with him. “Seonghwa, I fucked up. I just wanted her to want me. I wanted her to get jealous and take what’s hers. I didn’t know how– a-and her, and Mingi– I just thought maybe if I–”
Seonghwa shook San a bit, his nostrils flaring, his fingers squeezing into his friend’s trembling shoulders. “Get a grip and listen to me!” As soon as San took in a shaky breath and let it out, Seonghwa cleared his throat. “You’re going to put some fucking clothes on, nut up, and go after her. It’s now or never.”
San wiped his eyes, trying to control his breathing. “B-but what do I say, Seonghwa? How can I possibly–”
Seonghwa suddenly pulled him into a hug, clutching the back of his head, feeling San slowly begin to relax against him. “You’re going be honest with her, San. Tell her what you’ve always wanted her to know. The world isn’t going to end after you do. She’ll still be there, and you’ll be safe.”
San clutched Seonghwa’s back, blinking away a few remaining tears. “You promise?”
Seonghwa pulled away, curling his pinky finger around his best friend’s, giving him a firm nod. “Promise.” Seeing the trust inside San’s sparkling eyes, Seonghwa reached up to ruffle his hair, smiling softly. “Oh, and give her that Christmas present you’ve been waiting for her to open.”
A small smile slowly apread across his splotchy face, before he gave Seonghwa a stern nod back, reaching his hand inside the pocket of his coat to feel what had been sitting inside and collecting dust for the entire year. It was time. Things weren’t going to end up like last Christmas. It would be different this time. He would make sure of it.
❆ ❆ ❆
With each passing minute, you sank a little further into the abyss of your memories, as well as the freshly fallen layers of snow that surrounded you, splashes of alcohol melting into it whenever you took a lazy swig and dropped the bottle back down at your side. “You dummy…” you mumbled to yourself, sniffling, your warm tears and body doing its best to combat the chilly environment around you.
Once you reached a street lamp, the warm light glowing onto your damp clothes, the memories of last year, that had once been frozen over suddenly flooded into your mind so quickly, you had to lower yourself onto the gravel beneath you, resting your back against the metal of the large buzzing lamp. “Shit…” You brought your wrist to your eyes, smearing a fresh wave of tears into your slightly damp hair, realizing you had been there before, the deja vu hitting you harder than the icy night wind hit your flushed face.
“San, what’s wrong?” You stood next to your boyfriend, watching him simply stare at the Christmas tree in front of him, his hands in his coat pockets.
San clutched onto the present he had spent weeks waiting to be custom-made and even longer just staring at it inside his apartment, wondering if it was enough, if he was enough, for someone like you.
San slowly shook his head, taking his hand out of his pocket to gently grab your wrist, leaning in to ask, “Can we talk?”
“No, we’re not doing this right now,” you told yourself out loud, smacking the side of your head and shaking it back and forth to hopefully send the memory packing, but it persisted, much like the snowfall around you.
“I don’t understand, San, we were fine! We’re okay. Why are you doing this?” you cried, trying and failing to keep San from leaving the cabin, unable to catch the corner of his coat sleeve until you were both under a street lamp, the light blinking occasionally.
San slowly turned around to face you for a moment, shaking his head, keeping his tears at bay. He didn’t know what he was thinking. How would he be enough for someone like you? Poor San simply couldn’t see the beauty he saw in you in his own self. “I just can’t, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I really am.”
“Can’t what? Can you just talk to me, San? I want to understand, San, please, talk to me,” you begged him, your heart sinking further with each step you took towards him as he continued to walk away. You stopped eventually, in the front of his car, your breath caught in your throat. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Just like that?”
San stroked his hair with a shaky hand in an unconscious act of self-soathing, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, looking off to the side, before gripping the door handle of his car, as well as the felt box inside his pocket with his other hand, only seeing a blurry version of you by the time he looked back up. How could he explain how afraid he was of you and the love you offered him? How his many walls, like ice, were impenetrable, until you melted them away? It frightened him, so much so that all he could say was, “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” before he got into the car and shut the door.
“You…dummy…” you repeated, this time in a whisper, taking another swig from the bottle and choking down the strong liquor, about to force yourself to down it when you heard what sounded like a set of boots quickly shuffling through the snow.
“Y/N,” San gasped, almost completely out of breath from running through the rough winter terrain, bending forward slightly with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, sending puffs of condensation into the air around you. “I have to – tell you something–”
“Oh, now you have something to say? After all this time? That’s rich,” you scoffed, wobbling a bit as you stood up, trying to put up a front like you had done earlier, though your facade had since melted away, your quivering lips and red, teary eyes on full display. “…Go on, San…”
San finally caught his breath, his heart still hammering away inside his chest, reaching up to his head to stroke his somewhat damp raven hair, trying to swallow the growing lump inside his throat. “Y/N, I…I should’ve said this a long time ago, instead of just leaving you the way I did…”
The longer you stared at him, the longer he felt his walls crumbling around him, figuring that he had no choice but to tell you what had always been lingering on his tongue, buzzing in his heart and mind, and swimming inside his thoughts each night when he was alone. He realized it was worth the risk of having to return to a cold, silent heart, a bitter soul, and even higher walls that he could box himself inside of. To him, you were worth anything.
Your anger slowly subsided at the sight of his serious gaze, his warm coffee-brown eyes studying you like nothing else existed besides you. In fact, nothing did, inside his world, except for you. “San…” you murmured, reaching out to touch his hand, but he already beat you to it, interlacing your cold fingers together.
“I love you, Y/N,” he admitted in the softest, most convicting voice you’ve ever heard from him, slowly pulling out the box he kept inside his coat, opening it to reveal a small gold ring with a jewel shaped like mistletoe, gently sliding it onto your finger when you held your hand out. “I love you so much, baby. So much it terrifies me.”
“Oh, San…” you sighed, breathless, bringing your hand to your chest from being so overwhelmed with emotion. After a moment, you reached for his hand, squeezing it, moving closer to him, his confession and gift warming you up more than a raging, crackling fire ever could. “San–”
“If I had just told you how I felt back then, I wouldn’t have hurt you the way I did.” He squeezed your hand back, his chapped, lower lip quivering. “I wish I could take it all back. It’s all I’ve been able to think about– How I wish I could just turn back time and–”
You silenced San’s words with a gentle kiss, letting go of his hand to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms following suit, closing around your waist. You broke the kiss after a moment to whisper, “I love you too, San. Always have.” You caressed his face, making sure he felt the love pouring out of your words when you promised, “Always will.”
San let out a trapped breath of air, hugging you against him, protectively clutching the back of your head, unable to stop everything he had held inside from spilling out of him all at once.
You simply held him in your arms and stroked the back of his head, not noticing when the light above you had flickered once and went out for a split second, only to shine brighter than it did before, the light warming the exposed skin of your flushed cheeks.
❆ ❆ ❆
San sat on his knees beside the crackling fire, adjusting a piece of firewood, watching the flame catch onto it and travel along the cedar, enjoying the warmth on his skin, eventually turning his head back to admire the sight of you bundled up on the couch with a plush blanket on your lap, your hands clasped around a cup of tea, your eyes admiring your twinkling ring, before you noticed his loving gaze.
“Sannie, come here, love,” you spoke softly, taking one finger off of the cup to beckon him to you, sliding the blanket off and putting the cup down after one more sip.
“Coming, baby.” Eyes sparkling, San inched his way over to you, still on his knees, fitting himself in between yours so that he could wrap his arms around your middle, resting his head against your chest. “Mm, you’re so warm.”
You ran your fingers through his soft, still slightly damp hair, waiting till he looked up at you to caress his cheek, a small sigh leaving your lips. “I’m sorry for what I did to you earlier. I really shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was hypocritical of me.” You ran your fingers gently along his jaw, noticing the way he leaned into your touch.
“No, baby, I’m sorry,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down your sides, pouting. “I did…that to you in front of everyone…It was really shitty…I just couldn’t think straight after I saw you with Mingi.”
Your face fell, your fingers sliding back into San’s hair to play with it. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t…I want you to know that there was no meaning behind it, love. I was just bitter. And drunk.”
“I know, Y/N. It’s all forgiven, I promise you.” San reassured softly, responding well to your light touches, nuzzling your hand when it came back to his cheek, his fingers sliding underneath your sweater to squeeze into your sides, sending a light shiver up your spine. “But, you know what, baby?”
“What, Sannie?” Your body temperature started to increase as San brought himself up higher so that you were face to face, body to body, his palms settling onto your bare back.
“There’s meaning behind this,” he whispered, bringing his hands up to cup your face, before gently pressing his lips onto yours. You shared a few firm, passionate kisses, your lips moving against one another’s, hearing San whisper something else that sent a wave straight into your core. “Can you feel it, baby? My love?”
“Yeah, show me more, Sannie,” you murmured against his lips, his mouth slotting back onto yours, almost making you forget to breathe when his tongue began to explore the inside of your mouth.
San sucked lightly on your tongue, before moving down to kiss on your neck, his hands moving further up to unclasp your bra from underneath your sweater. “Can I please touch you, baby?” he asked with a desperation that made his deep voice go up an octave higher.
“Yes, please, touch me,” you responded with just as much desperation, arching your back into his touch when he slipped his hands up the front of your sweater, moving your tits in slow, gentle circles, his lips and teeth attacking your neck and collarbone.
“You feel so good in my hands, baby, fuck, I missed you so much,” San exhaled into your neck, squeezing the roundness of your tits in between his fingers, squishing them together, and lifting them up, only to drop them back down into his palms, groaning all the while. He pulled back slightly, rolling the hem of your sweater up a bit, his hooded, dilated eyes focused solely on yours. “Can I take this off?”
A quick nod was all it took for him to lift your sweater up over your head, your bra falling to the floor. Not wanting you to be alone, he reached behind his head and pulled his own sweater off, his sculpted, muscular upper body bathed in glowing, orange light from the fire blazing away behind him. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N…” he sighed, admiring your body like he did the very first time he saw you bare in front of him.
“So are you,” you replied, slowly running your hands up along his abdomen and back down, his muscles flexing slightly underneath your touch, his eyes following your fingers as they unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his cute custom briefs. “My Sannie, so precious.”
San blushed, his goofy smile slowly disappearing as he unbuttoned your pants, biting hard into his bottom lip once he got them off of you. “Baby…” Unable to just sit there and admire you, he reached forward to cup your tits, running his thumbs back and forth over your stiff nipples, lust clearly running rampant in his head and body by the way he was looking at you with such clear hunger in his eyes, his cock hard and stiff against your core. “Can I taste you?”
“Baby, you don’t have to ask, okay? You can have me, in any way–” you started breathily, feeling San’s cock beginning to pulse against you. “–Every way, Sannie. Please, take care of me.”
San suddenly clutched your hips, slowly grinding his clothed cock into your heat, while his mouth closed around one of your nipples to suck on it, his hooded eyes looking up into yours, his tongue darting out to lap at your tit.
“Feels so good, your mouth on me,” you breathed out, running your fingers through his hair, clutching it tight when he swapped your tit for the other, his jaw lowering so that he could fit more of your squishy globe into his mouth, sucking on it desperately. “Sannie…please…”
Knowing what you wanted, San pulled back to spit onto your tits, watching it drip down, before leaning back in to lick it up, his tongue cascading up and down your now slick skin, still guiding your hips against him, your legs already hooked around his slim waist. Your whiny moans were like music to his ears, taking a break from sucking and licking you to say, “You like it messy, don’t you, baby girl? Makes you so wet for me, doesn’t it?”
“Uh-huh, now come here,” you could barely get out, before you grabbed his face and slammed your lips against his, your mouths and tongues working in tandem, strands of spit dripping down your chins, San’s hands squeezing tightly into your hips, grinding against you so quick, so desperately, you were both about to reach your highs just from that.
“Sannie,” you sighed against his lips, caressing his jaw, his cock rubbing against your cunt in just the right way, your body pulsing with the need to be filled.
“Y/N,” he sighed back, pressing his forehead onto yours, the both of you breathing in the same air, the thick, throbbing length of his cock rubbing deliciously along your clothed slit until your lower halves began to jolt, your moans and gasps crescendoing in unison. “Cumming? Are you cumming for me, baby?”
“Y–esss, Sannie, m’ cumming for you,” you cried out, holding onto him as tightly as you could, your nails digging lightly into his back, feeling his muscles contracting. “Cum for me too, please, baby, let me see you.”
San let out a choked, whiny moan, panting heavily, losing his quick, focused thrusts, opting for sloppy, abrupt movements, barely about to get out the word, “B–abyyy…”
You both fell apart in each other’s arms, your eyes never breaking contact, your combined arousal soaking through your respective undergarments.
Once you both caught your breath, San reached down to rub your pussy with two thick fingers, able to see your slit through your shiny, see-through panties, his cum-covered cock already twitching back to life. “Fuck, baby, look at that…you’re completely soaked.”
“Just for you,” you nodded, spreading your thighs open further, pulling the hem of your panties up a bit to emphasize your puffy cunt, your clit pressing into the soft cloth material.
“Oh my god, baby, I need to taste you,” San suddenly whined, squeezing his fingers into the softness of your thighs, lowering himself down to take a deep inhale of your arousal, his head going completely fuzzy, unable to keep himself from drooling onto your cunt.
You slipped your fingers into his soft hair, bringing his face against your heat, sighing at the feeling of his nose bumping against your clit as he took another deep breath, shuddering when he began to tongue your cunt through your panties. “That’s it, Sannie, feels so good,” you moaned, your praise going straight to San’s cock, causing it to strain against his stained briefs.
“Mmmn,” San moaned against your pussy, licking one slow, long strip up your slit to your clit, filled with so much need for you that he couldn’t keep himself from tearing your panties off of you with one quick tug, making you gasp and release more slick, his mouth already on you to lap it right up, his other hand shoving his briefs down so that his cock could spring out against his abdomen, pre-cum smearing across his tan skin. “This pussy is all mine, baby…mine to eat, mine to fuck….mine to fill, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Sannie, all yours, it’s all yours,” you answered, clutching his hair, desperately grinding your cunt against his tongue when he held it out, looking deep into his eyes that never left yours for a second, suddenly gasping out when San spread your hole open, sending a wad of spit inside before his agile tongue slipped inside of you.
San grabbed the undersides of your thighs and lifted your lower half up so that he could tongue fuck you as deep as humanly possible, letting out a pleased moan each time his tongue entered your soaked, pulsing hole. He kept going until you saw stars, going ‘uh-huhhh, uh-huhhh’ as soon as you began to shudder, your arousal squirting out and soaking his flushed face.
“My pretty baby came so hard for me,” San sighed, licking your wetness up from your sensitive cunt and his lips, before he brought you in for another sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself.
The longer you kissed, the more you wanted him inside you, needed him to fuck his love into you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You needed him so badly, you didnt even realize what you were doing until you had found yourself pushing San down onto the fur carpet below and straddling him, sitting on his lap in a way that showed the both of you exactly where his long, veiny cock would reach inside of you once he filled you up. “Need you, Sannie. Need you now.”
“You can have me, baby.” San’s cock twitched against your abdomen, his hands rubbing your thighs, eventually lifting you up and down onto his cock, groaning at the feeling of your pussy swallowing his length inch by inch. “Fuck, princess, have all of me.”
Instinctively, San began to buck his hips up into you, filling you up so well, you felt a bit dizzy, encouraging you to hold onto his chest, still taking his cock deep inside your cunt like you were made for him.
San must’ve agreed too because he couldn’t keep from groaning out, “Look at you, babygirl, look at the way you’re taking me, taking my cock so deep–” He pressed one hand to your abdomen, feeling the bulge his cock made each time he fucked into you, driving the both of you crazy. “Your pretty pussy was made for me, baby. Made just for me. You’re mine, babygirl.”
“Yours.” You quickly lowered yourself down to kiss him, his hands sliding up and down along your body to feel your warm skin underneath his touch, eventually settling his hands on your cheeks, wiping a few of your tears away when you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure.
“Cum for me, Y/N…You can do it…Fall apart for me, baby, ” San encouraged in between heavy breaths, slowing the movements of his hips down, instead filling you up in a slow and meticulous manner, drawing your intense orgasm out of you. “Yes, baby, that’s it, that’s it…”
“Sannnn, oh my god, San.” The longer you fell apart, the tighter your pussy constricted around San’s cock, causing him to throw his head back, sweat dripping down along his straining neck, his veins growing more visible when he gripped your thighs tightly. “Fill me up, Sannie. Need your cum inside.”
“Cumminggg, princess, oh my god, baby girl,” San groaned heavily, lifting you up and down on his throbbing length, before fully sheathing himself inside you, coating your walls with white.
Panting, you both gazed at each other’s sweat-covered faces and bodies, knowing internally that it wasn’t enough. Not nearly.
“Again?”
“Again.”
San didn’t waste any time gently pulling you off of him and climbing on top of you instead, spreading you open and filling you back up, sighing at the sight of your mixed arousal forming a ring around the base of his cock each time he pounded himself into you. “You’re so full of my cum, baby…so full of my cock, aren’t you, pretty girl?”
“So full for you, Sannie, don’t stop,” you gasped, hardly able to breathe with the way he had you folded up, your legs over his shoulders, his cock slamming so deep inside you that you swore he was hitting your womb.
“Wasn’t gonna,” San exhaled, chuckling softly, his lips curling up to give you a smile, his eyes creasing with amusement. “Need to show you my love.”
“Show me, baby,” you sighed affectionately, smiling back at him, giggling at the sight of his eyes lighting up, before you pressed a kiss to his lips.
The wet, sloppy sound of your bodies joining together over and over filled up the otherwise quiet cabin, along with your harmonious moans, the remaining pieces of firewood still crackling away beside you. Time seemed to stop completely. It was just you and him, coming undone together for what seemed like a lifetime.
You both ended up back on the couch, your limbs and bodies entangled, snuggling together underneath the cozy blanket, talking with each other about anything and everything until your eyelids grew heavy, leading you to drift off, your fingers clasped together.
Before you could fully fall asleep, you nuzzled your cheek against San’s chest, gently inhaling his comforting scent. He smelled like aftershave, warm cedar wood, and spiced cinnamon. It reminded you of your time there at the cabin, the memories you spent together, both good and bad, swirling together to form a comfortingly bittersweet concoction, one that you would consume in every lifetime.
“San,” you whispered softly into the darkness, the fire beside the both of you now ashes and smoke.
“Yes, Y/N?” he whispered back, his arms closing around you protectively.
You sighed against his skin, your body and heart melting like the snow would begin to do as well, once the sun came up. “I love you so much, San…” You lifted your head up, hovering above him so that you could look down at him, your fingers clutching his jaw, your expression so soft San thought you might cry. “I want to show you how to share some of that love with yourself one day.”
San smiled up at you, his eyes full of so much adoration for you, it threatened to spill out of him, his fingers running through your hair. “You showed me, Y/N. Through it all, behind every word, every action, I still saw it there. That’s why I put myself first and confessed to you.” He smiled softly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I’m…not nearly as put together as I seem. I just love you so much, it makes me want to be strong. For you. And…for me.”
You didn’t realize you were crying too until you saw your teardrops land on his face and slide down his cheek, wondering if your icy heart had finally melted, and that was why there were so many tears escaping from your blurry eyes. “Oh, San, my sweet San, I’ll be here to watch you grow, I promise,” you murmured, hugging onto him and laying back down to rest your head on his chest, gently rolling the ring around your finger.
San’s hand came up from underneath the blanket to rest on top of yours. He squeezed your hand and you squeezed right back. “Promise?”
“Promise,” you repeated softly, closing your eyes, your heart at peace. “As long as you promise to watch me too.”
San closed his eyes too, a few more happy tears dripping past his cheeks, squeezing you just a little tighter than before. San felt safe. Whole. “I’d love nothing more, Y/N.”
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© kitten4sannie, 2023.
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1onelypoet · 8 months
Text
sweet tooth (for you) pt3 || lando norris smau
a/n: sorry this took so long lmao.
pairing: lando norris x singer! ex-leclerc! reader
fc: reneé rapp
warnings: cursing
taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday, @kapsylia, @i-wish-this-was-me, @minkyungseokie, @toasttt11, @namgification, @whyraspberries
disclaimer: this is completely fictional. no hate meant towards anyone mentioned.
part one, part two, part four
vanityfair October 20
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tagged yourusername
vanityfair Y/n L/n joined us to talk about the release of her new album Snow Angel, how she's evolved from her debut EP Everything to Everyone, coping with insecurity, and the possibility of another tour.
Watch here.
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charles_leclerc Beautiful ❤️
user1 jumpscare ↳ user2 no cus i literally had to double check it was his acc
user3 NAH THIS ISNT REAL ↳ user4 what isn't real is his fucking audacity
user5 give my girl recognition for her good tits n big heart!!
user6 I VOLUNTEER I CAN DO IT HI HELLO
yourbff SO. FUCKING. PROUD.
user7 so um great pics but uh r we all seeing the comment..? cus um!
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October 23
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manonsworld added to their story October 29
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seen by user8, f1gossip, joris__trouche and others
yourusername October 31
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yourusername happy halloween bitches 🦇
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user9 charles foaming at the mouth rn
landonorris ...who are you supposed to be?
yourusername UR FUCKING KIDDING ME RN ↳ landonorris barbie? ↳ yourusername no 😭😭 ↳ landonorris that lady from fleetwood mac? ↳ yourusername IM PAMELA ANDERSON???? ↳ landonorris idk who that is 😋 ↳ yourusername im done.
honeymoon it's great to be a blonde ✨
lola.tung on my knees 4 u
user10 @charles_leclerc dude you gotta see this
user11 YOU DID NOT JUST TAG HIM 💀
yourusername November 13
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f1 November 19
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f1 McLaren driver, Lando Norris, is out in Lap 3!
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user13 is he okay????
user14 he got out of the car himself so it can't be that bad ↳ user15 didn't he have to go to the hospital though? ↳ user14 yes, but that's most likely a precaution
user16 unsurprising considering the las vegas track is shit
user17 agreed
user17 a few days after his birthday too 😭😭😭
user18 well there goes another win...
November 19
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yourusername added to their story November 21
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landonorris added to their story December 3
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maxfewtrell added to their story December 6
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yourusername December 8
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tagged yukitsunoda0511, landonorris, yourbff, alex_albon, lilymhe
yourusername lil change of scenery 🏖️
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lilymhe NOT THE MID YAWN PIC
yourusername im always watching 📸
heidiberger_ stunning as always ✨
user19 babe wake up new y/n pics just dropped
alex_albon lando looks like one of those people who got pranked while they were sleeping and had their mattress brought out to sea
landonorris mate... what? ↳ yourusername why is this kinda true ↳ landonorris IT IS NOT ↳ alex_albon whatever you say 🙄
user20 STEP ON ME PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU 🙏🏻
landonorris December 10
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tagged yourusername, maxfewtrell
landonorris island life
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yourusername so funny how max gets a cute pic and i get... whatever that is
landonorris you don't like the picture? ↳ landonorris I think you look really good ↳ yourusername ... ↳ landonorris 🙃🙃 ↳ yourusername never going anywhere w you again
maxfewtrell 🔥🔥
user21 um y tf is charles's ex on vacay with lando 😐
user22 she has a name ↳ user21 ok well why is she with lando ↳ user23 there's this craaaazy thing called friendship 🤯 ↳ user21 it's giving attention seeker... ↳ user24 girl stfu
mclaren Recharging 🔋💪
landonorris You know it 👊
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lilymhe added to their story December 19
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seen by landonorris, heidiberger_, yourusername and others
yourusername December 21
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liked by landonorris, zendaya, user25 and others
tagged yukitsunoda0511, heidiberger_, danielricciardo, maxfewtrell, pietra.pilao, carlossainz55, yourbff, landonorris, alex_albon, lilymhe
yourusername amazing views w even better company 💗
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yourbff ahhhhhh this was so much fun <333
lilymhe we should do it again sometime ☺️ ↳ pietra.pilao ^ ↳ heidiberger_ ^^ ↳ yourusername ^^^
user26 YUKI IS AN ADELE FAN????
zendaya gorg
danielricciardo who's that hottie in the 8th pic? 🥵🥵
yourusername i can and will block u. ↳ danielricciardo 😨
user27 oh to be in this friend group
landonorris December 22
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liked by yourusername, mclaren, danielricciardo and others
tagged maxfewtrell, yourusername, carlossainz55, alex_albon, danielricciardo, yukitsunoda0511, pietra.pilao, yourbff, lilymhe, heidiberger_
landonorris emptying out the camera roll 😎
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user28 CARLANDO GOLF ERA IS BACCK YESSSS
team_quadrant who won in golf?
carlossainz55 Me, of course. ↳ landonorris this is slander ↳ landonorris I will sue you ↳ carlossainz55 I will win that, too. ↳ user29 CARLOS LMDAOO
mclaren That form 👌
yourusername just one good photo of me. that's all i ask.
landonorris the photo is great??
user30 shirtless lando in a helmet is my life now
December 23
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kqulitz · 1 year
Note
hiii!! can i request a tom x reader where like reader dresses up like him a bit, oversized shit and all, hiding her body on those bigass clothes, but sometimes, on special occasions she dresses in like revealing shit (rockstars gf leather mini skirt, leather jacket, black platform heels, and all the other shi) and like tom just goes 😨 in a good way
HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE IM HALF ASLEEP WRITING THSI REQUEST😭😭
revealing
tom kaulitz x reader
summary: your sudden change in style catches you boyfriend’s attention.
tags: established relationship, fluff, tom being a bit clingy, some grabbing, implied smut at the end but nothing too explicit
a/n: it’s okay!! i’m sorry this is short 😭🫶
lowercase intended
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─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
tom stretches from his seat on the couch, sighing a little. “babe, c’mon! we’re gonna be late!” he calls, standing from where he was sat and walking to the bedroom door. “just a minute!” you shout back, voice muffled through the door. “you’ve had a lot of minutes..! c’mon, the other’s are waiting outside!” he knocks a little. “just hang on a sec, okay? i’m almost done!” tom hears you walking around the room. “fine, you get five more minutes.” he sighs, leaving to step outside. bill looks over, frowning a little. “she’s still not done yet?” he asks, glancing behind tom. “no. i’m giving her five more minutes.” the other twin sighs, running a hand over his face. “the parties starting soon.” georg reminds tom, who nods. “i know.”
they wait, and wait, and eventually tom is asked to go back inside to get you. bill is playing it off as a joke, but tom can tell they’re getting a smidge impatient with you. tom steps over to the bedroom door, gently knocking. “schatz, c’mon. we’ve gotta go.” (darling) he tells you, leaning near the door. you don’t respond, yet the lock clicks open. tom opens the door slowly, peering in before opening it fully. he’s absolutely stunned; you’re dressed up, not in your usual clothes, but in a short skirt, cropped top and leather jacket. your platforms give you a couple inches, yet you’re just barely the same height as him. tom blinks, eyes taking in your appearance. “you don’t think this is too revealing do you..?” you ask, hands cusping before you. tom blinks again, looking at you. “no, no it’s perfect, baby. you look amazing.” he smiles, kissing you gently.
you hum. tom can tell you’re feeling insecure, yet the way his hands rest on your hips as he guides you out to the rest of the gang makes you relax a little. the others smile as you finally join them, and bill looks over your outfit. “looking good! we ready?” he asks, smiling softly. “yeah, we’re ready.” you reply, hand grasping tom’s gently. “good. let’s go.” gustav gets in the car, and the rest of the band follow suit. you sit beside tom in the back, bill’s driving, gustav had called shotgun and georg was sat on tom’s left. “i was thinking…” bill starts as he pulls away from the curb. “we could go out and get dinner after this.” he says, glancing at tom in the rearview mirror. “i don’t think i’ll go. i’ve got a meal planned at home.” tom’s hand slips under your skirt, massaging your thigh. you fluster, staring at your boyfriend with wide eyes. he smiles innocently, kissing your cheek. “that’s fine, we’ll bring you some leftovers just in case.” bill chirps, completely unaware of his brother’s actions.
“thanks bill.” you respond, keeping your voice steady. tom’s fingers tease over your thigh, tracing soft shapes. “you should dress like this more often.” he whispers to you. you nod a little, not trusting your voice. “i mean it. i’m gonna completely ravage you tonight.” tom grins, stealing a quick kiss.
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bigbawdy-benzz · 1 year
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Mi hermoso bebé
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Pairing: Miles42 x chubby reader!
Tags: @aaliyahwalkshere @sheluvv-jen @missmyluv
Warnings; none that comes to mind
A/N; enjoy this was the most voted, before we get into the headcannons, everybody is beautiful even if you’re thin or thick you’re beautiful, don’t let anybody tell you any less. your perfect just the way you are!!.
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❥ Miles is in love with everything about you, from the way you dress to the way you carry yourself.
❥ Miles who loves touching your rolls, touching you in general he always has his hands on you.
❥ Miles who shows you off but gets jealous when people starting a bit too much.
“I know she fine you can stop looking now”
❥ Miles who helps you when you’re feeling insecure, feeling insecure is forbidden with Miles. He never wants you to feel bad about yourself because you’re beautiful.
“Baby no you’re beautiful cut that shit out, fuck what all them people gotta say mama, they probably unhappy with themselves and have to hate on a bad bitch to get cool points, they aint competin wit you”.
❥ Miles who will kick somebody ass for talking crazy about you or to you he don’t play that shit.
❥ Miles who always has your back.
❥ Miles who helps you eat food when you’re struggling or have a bad relationship with food.
“Baby it’s ok i'm here, I'll sit and eat with you!”
❥ Miles who wants a fashion show every time you buy new clothes or HE buys you new clothes. He’s a sucker to see you prancing around in the clothes he bought you, or that you bought.
“Yess mami gimme a 360”,
❥ Miles who loves seeing you in revealing clothing, the way the clothes hug your body and the way YOU wear them makes him go feral, he just wants to eat you up.
“Ma not gonna lie im boutta bu-”
“MILES”
❥ Miles who falls asleep on your stomach, chest, or butt.
“It's so comfy don’t move”
❥ Miles who loves slapping your ass whenever it feels convienent
‘OW MILES!!”
“What it's fat what you want me to do?”
“Not hit it so hard”
“Okay im sorry ma” He says casually grabbing it giving you a smile. 😁
❥ Miles who buys you anything you want your his princess, speaking of princesses MAJORRRRR princess treatment!!
“pick up what you want princess, lemme give you some princess treatment”.
❥ Miles who is your number 1 supporter anything you do Miles is clapping is his hands rooting for you. You dance at every practice and competition, You cheer at every game, You play sports at every tournament, You make jewelry promoting it in any way possible, You do hair telling ppl they need their hair done REAL BAD.
❥ Miles who makes you feel comfortable around his family when you first meet them, you didn’t want to eat in front of them or even go get your own plate in front of his family because you thought they were gonna judge you, (They aren't like that).
“Bebé deja de pensar así (Baby stop thinking like that), its okay go get some food I will come with you they aren’t gonna judge you and if they do I got you”
❥ Miles who loves you with his whole being and lets you know that, you’re perfect in every way and you don’t need to change yourself for anybody, not even him.
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simping4-2manyppl · 1 year
Note
is it okay if u do a Tom x reader with an Ed (so sorry if you are uncomfy with this ❕️❕️🤍🤍🤍)
Tom Kaulitz 🎸
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Ofcc i hope you enjoy 🫶🏼 i dont know much about ed’s but im going to try my best 💗 if this triggers you in any type of way please contact me! Or if i did anything wrong, I absolutely mean no harm and i will fix my mistakes.
TW! ⚠️
Contains ED! And other possible sensitive topics!! Angst! I honestly dont know if i wrote about an ED cause im not very educated on it so im sorry if its not correct!
You woke up rubbing your eyes, seeing yourself in the mirror that stood infront of you. You stood up from your bed and walked infront of the mirror frowning as you pointed out all of your insecurities and picking at them.
You bit your lip as tears formed in your eyes, “Why me?” You thought, a knock on the door interrupting your thoughts.
“Y/n! You awake?” You heard, it was tom. Your best friend, he usually checked up on you to see if you were awake, since most days youd sleep almost all day.
“Yeah!” You replied, looking away from the mirror and getting dressed. You were going to go with the band someplace, it was probably an interview or something like that.
You werent apart of the band but youd usually tag along with them since you were one of their closest friends.
You picked out some baggy clothes that hid some of your insecurities perfectly. Once you finished you walked out of your room as your eyes met with toms.
“Tryna copy my style today?” He said, in a joking way. “You stole this outfit idea from me!” You said rolling your eyes playfully.
“Sureee.” He said as you both laughed and you made your way downstairs to the kitchen.
“Good Morning!” You heard bill say, “Morning!” You said with a smile on your face, you didnt want to bring the others moods down just because you werent feeling the best, so you tried to put on a big smile and pretended to look as happy as possible.
“You coming with us again today?” Bill said, munching on something he probably found in the pantry.
“You know it, gotta support my favorite boys!” You said giving him a small wink. He laughed and nodded.
You made your way to the living room as you saw gustav and georg searching for something, “Morningg, you guys need help with anything?” You said raising your eyebrow.
They looked at you and smiled, “no thanks, we got it!” you nodded and walked over to the couch, sitting down.
If you were being honest, you were so tired, and hungry. But no matter how hard you tried you just couldnt eat food without throwing it right back up.
This habit of not eating started a while ago but you were too afraid to open up to anyone and talk about it, assuming your friends would judge you because the real reason of why was because you had a crush on tom, but you knew he only saw you in a friendly way. And his type was beautiful gorgeous girls with the perfect bodys. Something you couldnt relate to. So you kept it a secret, but it would hurt you every time you saw tom with one of his girlfriends or heard them at night.
It took a big toll on your mental health and sleep, most days you felt like a zombie, not being able to sleep and just wanting to be away from everyone, but you tried to be positive in front of your friends so you wouldn’t worry them.
___
Time Skip
___
You waited for the band in the back as they were doing a small interview, once it was over with you could hear the screams of the fans and them yelling all sorts of things.
Of course some were about tom, you then saw as they stood up to greet some of the fans and saw him talking to some girl, you knew you shouldnt have gotten jealous but you could help it.
She was perfect, and tom had looked like he just fell inlove, of course you knew he just wanted her for one night but it still hurt to see him being all flirty with her. You didnt know why but seeing him with her bothered you so much and you just couldnt figure out why, she sure was beautiful but hes been with alot of girls and none of them bothered you as much.
You sighed and looked at yourself, comparing yourself to her and immediately feeling sick. Oh how you wished you looked like her.
You waited for a bit until everyone got back, so you just decided to stay quiet and keep on going with your day.
Once you got home you locked yourself in your room, immediately plopping yourself into your bed, sighing and closing your eyes.
You eventually fell asleep but would wake up throughout the night hearing the one thing you didnt want to hear, a girl in your best friends room. Basically screaming her lungs out.
You decided to sleep in, not wanting to do anything as your energy just kept getting lower and lower by the days.
Ag some point throughout the day you heard knocks on the door asking if you were alright or going with them some place and you just tried to ignore them but gave them short replies not really wanting to talk.
A few days of you being like this everyone decided to talk to you, it wasnt normal for you to be acting like this. Tom was the first one that knocked ti check in with you as always but you just groaned and complained that you were just tired.
He decided to leave you alone amd when you heard another knock it was gustav this time.
“Hey ___, you okay?” he said in a soft voice, “yes gus, im okay! Just tired.” You said yelling and laying your head down on your pillow.
“You havent came out at all, can i come in? Please?” He said, his voice sounding sad.
You sighed and bit your lip, “going..” you said and walked up to your door, unlocking it and letting him in.
You closed it quickly as you didnt want anyone else to come in.
You turned around and faced him, “What gus?” you said, “I jus- Oh my god, are you okay?!” He said as he fully saw your face, the dark circles under you eyes fully taking over your face and you skin looker paler than ever.
He had a worried look on his face as he looked at you, analyzing your whole face. “Im fine! Im just extremely tired gus.” You said sighing.
“No! You’re not okay, you look skinnier and more tired, like a literal zombie ___! Whats going on?” He said, as he got even more worried.
Your eyes started tearing up and before you knew it you started bawling your eyes out like a baby.
“I just cant do it anymore gus, im in love with tom! you know how much it hurts to hear him flirt and see all those girls with him? It hurts so fucking much gustav.” You said, as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Oh god, im sorry ___, But maybe he loves you too! I mean have you seen the way he looks at you?” he said trying to calm you down a bit.
“No gus, he likes those other gorgeous skinny perfect girls, i cant compare to that. He only sees me as a friend.” You said, sobbing.
“Thats not true ___! Youre so Beautiful and perfect to all of us! Please dont be starving youself and making changes to yourself just cause you think you arent pretty cause you are ___!! Probably one of the prettiest girls i have ever seen in my entire life!” He said hugging you even tighter as you just cried onto his shoulder.
You lift you head off his shoulder, looking into his eyes as you sniffled, “ you really mean that?” You said biting your lip so the tears would stop flowing out.
“Yes! Ask anyone! And its not just because we are your friends! Its true ___, i dont know how you dont see it.” He said with a frown on his face.
“Then why not me?” You said, your lip quivering. “Im sorry ___, hes just not looking in the right places, cause he has an amazing girl right infront of him.” He said pulling you into a deeper hug.
After that day youd only really talk to gustav, letting him in your room and talking with him, but one day he left and you heard a knock which you assumed was just him coming back fr something he mustve forgotten, but you were wrong.
“oh my god.. ___..” Tom said staring at you in disbelief as you had the door wide open. “Tom?..” you said quietly, “are you okay? Ive been so worried, oh gosh, you look so..” he said as he stood closer placing his hands on your cheeks, analyzing your face even more.
You know you looked more tired than usual but you were just drained from all the nights of you crying, and well you havent ate something in quite a while either.
As much as gustav would try to get you to eat you refused, but would lie to him saying you ate so he wouldnt worry too much.
“Whats going on ___?” He said biting his lip, “nothing tom. Now i want to be alone can you please go?” You said looking away from him as the eye contact was starting to get unbearable.
“Not until you tell me whats going on.” He said firmly, you started getting angry and pushed him out. “ i dont want to talk right now!” You said slamming the door shut and locking it.
You felt bad but why couldnt he just leave you alone, you wanted to get rid of your crush on him so things could go back to normal but it was so hard.
You sighed and opened the door seeing him looking down, “im sorry..” you said your head hanging low as you started to feel guilty for the way you were acting towards him.
“___ you’re my best friend, im worried about you.. can we please just hang out together or something? I miss you.” He said staring at you.
You could feel the way his eyes looked at you causing you ti loft your head up and you nodded as you met his eyes.
“Yeah, i guess..” you said putting your hand on your shoulder, not knowing what to do.
“Lets get snacks and watch our favorite movie no? Maybe that can help you feel a bit better..” he said, giving you a small smile.
“I- i guess..” you said, and walked over with him. Once you retrieved the snacks you went over to the living room and sat down as he put on your guys favorite movie.
“Alright, lets eat!” He said, “im actually not hungry right now, maybe a little later.” You said, pushing the snacks away from you.
“… if you say so.” He said slightly frowning and playing the movie.
You eventually drifted off to sleep in his shoulder and once you woke up you saw him already staring at you.
“Rise and shine princess.” He said, chuckling. God, why did he have to make this worse for you..
“Sorry, i didnt mean to fall asleep, i guess i was just tired.” You said, yawning.
“Its alright, im just glad you’re here with me.” He said smiling at you.
You bit your lip, “i should go to bed now.. Ill see you tomorrow yeah?” You said getting up from the couch.
“Oh.. yeah okay, ill see you tomorrow then?” He said looking at you with pleading eyes, hoping youd say yes.
“Yeah.. maybe, goodnight tom.” You said, “goodnight ___, love you.” He said and you just gave him a small smile and walked back upstairs to your room. You laid down in bed and sighed, shutting your eyes to drift off to sleep.
After a couple of weeks youd start hanging out more with the band again and mostly tom but as you sat down in the kitchen stool you felt someone come behind you.
“I brought you something to eat.” He said, placing a takeout box in front of you.
“Im not hungry right now, but thanks tom.” You said pushing it away, and giving him a small smile.
He sat next to you and sighed, “___, you’re never hungry.” He said, “im just not tom, i already ate.” You said wanting to stop talking.
“You dont have to lie to me! Im your best friend, plus youve been in your room like alllllll day. I havent seen you come down or anything to eat ___. So please eat.” He said pushing the food closer to you.
“Tom i said im not hungry!” You said, frustrated.
“___, whats going on. I know you havent been eating, i can tell! and when you do you take the smallest bites ever! and never finish it and say youre full. Why are you doing this to yourself ___?!” He said standing up now.
Your eyes got teary, “because im not skinny or pretty or … anything tom!” You said starting to break down into tears.
He looked at you shocked, “___… why do you say that? You are pretty! im looking at you and you are of the most perfect girls ive ever seen.” He said as his eyes started to get soft and teary.
“Then why dont you like me? If im so perfect why dont you like me tom?” You said full on bawling.
“W-What?” He said, shocked and confused.
“I love you tom. I like you.. but ive never been perfect like those other girls that you are always with, i cant compare to them. They have model bodies and beautiful faces, and i dont. I thought maybe if i stopped eating it would just fix all of my problems, but it only made them worse.” You said, in between sobs.
He immediately wrapped his arms around you, “y/n, i do love you. Ive always have. I thought you didnt like me so i distracted myself with other girls to get over my feelings for you, i didnt wanna ruin the friendship that we had. I thought you hated me.. when you started ignoring me ___..” he said, starting to cry.
You stopped crying as you were in shock, not expecting him to say those things. “Tom.. i could never hate you, i just wanted to distance myself so i could get over you, it hurt seeing you with other girls, i also didnt know you liked me..” you said staring at him, “please dont cry..” you said, placing your hands on his cheeks.
“___ please promise me you wont do this again, please try to eat, i know itll take some time but please ___.” He said, looking into your eyes.
You nodded, “ill try tom, i really will.. im sorry.” You said, “no i am, i really do love you ___.” He said as he started leaning in closer to you, “i do too tom..” you said, your faces inches apart.
He finally closed the gap between you two, softly placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He moved his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him.
Once you departed he gave you a small kiss on your nose and smiled at you, you smiled back at him and blushed.
“Now lets get you something to eat, yeah? Then we can focus on everything else after meine liebe.” he said, placing another small kiss on your lips then grabbing the food as he helped you eat, even if they were small bites he still helped by giving you small praises.
And this was why you fell in love with him..
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jaetyun · 2 years
Text
20cm (twenty centimeters) TEASER
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jock!keita × fem!reader
genre: fluff
highschool au, enemies to lovers, y/n is a bitch (she gets better!), keita is in rugby
wc: 0.4k
a/n: ill try to get this posted next week, but here’s a little concept reveal !
synopsis: keita had always been sensitive about his height, but those thoughts seems to get drowned out every time hes on the field. it wasn’t until recently he finally became content with his genes. that was, until there were rumors of a new student that would be the new tallest student across the grades. not only that, it was a girl. and she was a major douchebag about it.
"whats wrong kei? youve had a scowl on your face since you've buckled your seatbelt." his frown deepened, slumping in the passenger seat. 
"i do not!" 
"do too!" beomgyu added with a snicker, peering from the backseat. heeseung quickly yanked him back, putting beomgyus seatbelt on for him. the four of them, sungchan included, were on the way to a random burger joint as per usual. last week it was the mall where they convinced heeseung to buy the biggest dildo in the spencers aisles. the week before that it was the skate park where beomgyu brought a scooter because he didnt know how to skate. 
with rugby seasons coming up, this would probably be the last time keita tagged along before the group became busy with their own sports. october was always a hectic month for all of them, and he would've felt like shit if the last moment he had with his friends was of him complaining about some girl. 
"whats wrong? seriously, you can tell us anything bro" sungchan continued, one hand on the wheel while the other rested on keitas knee. he gave keita a comforting squeeze, causing the boys sour look to soften. "... well. yall know the transfer, right?"
the other three nodded, all having their own tidbits to add.
"yeah the tall chick"
"shes pretty cool"
"winter and yunjins group, right?"
keita clicked his tongue, his nose scrunching st their nonchalance about her.
"why? you got rejected by her or sum?" beomgyu snickered before getting hit by heeseung, mumbling something about asshole and salt into the wound. 
"what, no! shes a total douchebag." 
a moment of silence hung in the car as the boys looked around each other, gauging one another's reactions. it wasn't long before the three burst out into laughter.
"im serious! y/n is such a-"
heeseung wiped a tear, hitting keitas shoulder. "is she a jerk or are you insecure?"
keitas mouth faltered, losing the confidence in hus conviction. sungchan hummed an agreement, both hands on the wheel. "shes pretty funny, you just gotta not take her seriously man."
keita straightened up in his seat, folding his arms over each other. 
"she has no business making those kinds of jokes."
"or maybe you need to loosen up a bit"
keita looked out the window, sighing softly. maybe they were right. maybe he was just a little sensitive about his height and you weren't really doing any harm! yeah, hes sure thats it. he just misjudged you. wait... hes getting a sense of deja vu.. nono! this time is different. keita was positive it wouldn't be long until he started viewing you the same way everyone else did. 
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shuuuuush · 1 year
Text
ATTRACTIVENESS SCALE
Thank you the lovely Fae @kennysboxergf for tagging me in this! no hate whatsoever on the people I rank here, it's just my opinion 🙏
Who I'm ranking:
Beta Squad + Darkest, Gib, Harry Pinero, Johnny Carey, Filly
10. ANEESON GIB: WAIT LISTEN HERE ME OUT, I don't watch Gib l, and I've only seen him in a few beta squad videos and that latest boxing match he had the same day as Kenny 😭 like he's okay but not greatest good looking guy IM SORRY
9. CHUNKZ: Okay if it was personality and not looks he'd be like top 5 here but we're basing off looks today, and I will admit he's actually a good looking guy, he's got a pretty face and a nice voice too, but just not enough when there's other ones to rank 😭
8. HARRY PINERO: not the highest on my list as he does have them receding edges yes he's nice at times but like the vios go too far and that kinda lessens the ranking
7. DARKEST MAN: ALLY I CAN ALREADY SEE U QUESTIONING THIS ONE BUT LISTEN. Okay, so yes, he's good-looking, ignoring the bald head like he's cute. Got a cute face and a funny personality, but like MY FAVES ARE HERE TOO. And I'm CONFLICTED, so he goes here.
6. AJ SHABEEL: He was actually going to be no.7, but yk lately, I've been watching a lot of his videos on his channel, and I gotta say he's actually FINEE. Like I used to think he wasn't really but I looked closely, and he's actually cute.
5. JOHNNY CAREY: this one. THIS ONE IS PRETTY. Like, have yall watched Bad Bistro like he has such a nice smile, and he's actually entertaining in the videos, too.
4. FILLY: Oh my days, this guy, if the other top 3 on my list weren't here, he'd be no.2. He's funny and sweet, but the problem is he's a bit TOO insecure, like on does the shoe fit. He took the things a little too much to heart, but he's still a good guy and enough to put him on top 4.
3. NIKO OMILANA: guys. PLEASE this was my first beta squad crush like actually he's so amazing, like legit he's got HEIGHT, the JOKES, he'd definitely be no.1 if it wasn't for the next two people. But still love Niko. ❤️
2. KING KENNY: top 2 baby, he's amazing like he's so baby girl he's so sweet and his laugh omd ITS CONTAGIOUS love a guy that can make me laugh. And him boxing?? 10x hotter. Like ... my guy stop🤭🤭🤭
1. SHARKY: YALL KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN. ITS ACTUALLY INSANE. Ain't no way i am NOT putting him first on this list, like legit look at my masterlist ALMOST ALL my fics are about him and I'm currently writing one about him that's my longest fic I've ever written. He's just beautiful and sweet literally not enough words to describe how amazing he is inside and out, like a literal 1000/10.
Thanks again, Fae, for tagging me 🫶🫶
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simpjaes · 5 months
Note
hey, I know it will be a bit random but can I ask u how to start writing on this platform? I mean, should we find our audiences / mutuals first, or maybe we can just start to write?
I'm asking this to u because I'm new here and when I found ur blog I immediately in love with all of ur masterpieces (let's say u're my inspiration here :D)
I really really appreciate it if u willing to share BUT it's totally okay if u feel uncomfortable to answer it. xoxo<3
Oh! well, it takes time that's for sure. my first piece of advice would be to be patient before you do anything else.
how I started was:
I took my time and wrote a fic for the band I was fixated on, and then I made a blog and posted it there (ncteez). I had no followers, no friends, and no one knew who I was. it somehow got quite a bit of notes for someone so new back then but, given, it was during covid and I guess a lot of people were online and active. it's been several years since I started writing but my advice to you is to write something, and then post it with five tags regarding the band and member(s) in your fic. look at how I tag my fics if you need an example of that!
your audience will find you and I feel it best to just wait for them to do just that. you'll eventually start getting asks and feedback, you just gotta keep doing it! like, don't write one fic, see it as a flop, and never write again. it takes time to build an audience and it also takes time to write in general! if you're wanting to do it, make sure you're allowing yourself the time to grow without too much self-criticism regarding notes.
and ofc, do not deem notes as your proof of success and/or failure. all writing is worth reading and all writing has its audience. the insecurity of posting will always be there, but your people will find you for sure, and hopefully boost you up and encourage you to keep writing! again, i started ncteez in 2020. i've been writing for a long time but didn't start back up until covid because i was bored and wanted to fuck seonghwa :| it is now 2024 and thats how long it took for me to build up with that blog! I recently reached an 8k follower milestone there as well! as for this blog, i started it a while ago and never really posted anything on it. I think i posted one fic here just to say i wrote something for jake, but didn't really start writing and posting until december of 2023 when I dropped frenzy. i'm nearly at 4k followers here simply because I am active and have friends who hype me because they know me from ncteez. so fr, i got lucky when it comes to simpjaes.
ANYWAY, IM YAPPING. i hope you find your success and I hope there's something in this long ass response that helps you ;o;
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malleleothreesome · 9 months
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THAT FELLOW PIECE HELLO ?!?€!?€?€ that injected something into me i swear 😳😳😵‍💫 im on my knees worshiping every word that leaves his lips 🧎‍♀️ your dialogue is so vivid, genuinely I was sitting over here like WH WHAAHATTT IS THIS QUALITY I CAN HEAR EVERYONE SO CLEARLY. like !!!! screams every line had me holding my breath in shock 😭 your fellow has a breath of maturity to it that’s super refreshing to read ❤︎
vv hyped for the full piece 😭💕 (pretending im so normal about this)
Referencing the preview of my Fellow Honest Drunken Confession Fic
OMG PRIM THIS IS GENUINELY SO NICE OF YOU I'M CRYING???? THIS IS SOME INCREDIBLE FEEDBACK, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I WILL CHERISH YOUR KIND WORDS FOREVER!!!
I mean, you probably understand as a writer, but I swear... every time I post something, up until someone leaves me a nice comment or a nice tag, my intrusive thoughts are like: "EVERYONE HATES ME!!! MY WRITING SUCKS!!! IM GONNA GET CANCELLED!!!" Idk why I would be cancelled but I feel like thats gotta be an intrusive thought of everyone on the internet lmfaoooo. SO THANK YOU FOR PUTTING MY FEARS TO REST, AT LEAST FOR THAT ONE PIECE LOL
I'm truly ELATED that my dialogue resonated with you in such a profound way, especially since that was one of my biggest insecurities when I first started writing... I'm not sure why I have such a deep fear of mischaracterizing anyone, but I do, and I feel like dialogue is the easiest to get incorrect.
Especially with Fellow, because theres so little information on him compared to the main TWST characters, it makes me feel like I don't truly know him in the same way I know Malleus and Leona and it makes me feel anxious when I write for him doiajsdosiaj so I'm really happy you liked the way I wrote for him!
I'm glad to hear you're looking forward to the full piece!!! (As the writer, I am too DXAHIOSDHAS I can't wait to see what I'll come up with, and I hope I can finish it in a decent amount of time... you know how it is...)
Thank you again for your ask and for your excitement!!! This is a very memorable compliment so I'm glad you're not being normal about it lmfao!!!
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tonberry-yoda · 2 years
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For the writer ask game:
❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?
✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?
👻 What is your wildest headcanon?
🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?
💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?
📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend? (on tumblr, AO3, Wattpad, FF.net seperatly or just all time favourite) (you can tell me more if you can't decide, I know how that feels 😅)
🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?
hi love <3
based on this post
❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?
oh god, you're making me think. i write so much fanfic this is so hard oh man. gimme a sec, i really gotta dig. okay. this one was a hard question actually. so, this was from an older fic of mine from the arcana. here's the link to that fic but there's a line at the bottom that Asra says:
“I thought you were to investigate him… not… investigate him!!”
It's a stupid innuendo but I thought it was funny.
✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?
I love getting comments where people say that they never read fics like this and also ones that say that i provided them with the fluff they needed. I remember before I got tumblr digging for fluffy fics was sometimes a journey, so i wanted to provide the fluff and getting comments that compliment me on that make me so happy omg i also got a hilarious reblog this morning of one of my Junkrat pieces and they said "Oh no, I think I have a crush. I dont think we can live laugh love out of this one folks" and it made me laugh really hard
👻 What is your wildest headcanon?
I have this ridiculously long list of headcanons for Skeptic from mha. like this man gets 7 minutes of screen time and I made his whole backstory. In my head he has a twin sister. Cool ass parents. Went to college. I just have like a 20 year long list for him. Fav character unfortunately.
🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?
💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?
I just answered these to, which you can read here but I failed to mention one of my fav fics which is this one and this one
📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend? (on tumblr, AO3, Wattpad, FF.net seperatly or just all time favourite) (you can tell me more if you can't decide, I know how that feels 😅)
oh i have a list omfg. so if you dont mind, im gonna tag a few folks. @overwatchfics @auroravictorium @enforcermoss @some-piece @mvrtaiswriting @tender-rosiey @soupbabe @moonbeamwritings @meepmoopmaap @strawmariee @lovolee3 and uhhhhhhhh gosh, i think that's all. i have a lot of lovely writer friends on here, so i highly recommend all of them. I acutally started writing on here because of @some-piece @moonbeamwritings and @mvrtaiswriting fun fact lol. i love all of these talented people and really recommend checking out their writing. There's a little bit of every fandom around, so please check them out. im sending them all lots of love <3333
🔮 Any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?
I really know how this feels. I am a writer full time. Like not even kidding. I am majoring in creative writing so I need to write ALL THE TIME. So I really know what burnout feels like. That and feeling insecure about writing. For me, if I really know that I need to keep writing, I pump out headcanons. They are easy and simple. Also matchups. But not everyone does those. When I get in a block I really let myself take the break I need. I will refresh my brain by doing something else. You don't want to hate writing, so just put it off for a little bit. You never want something fun to feel like a chore. If you feel burnt out, get some food, drink some water. That's why I'm always telling others to stay hydrated. It is a super important part of my routine and really should be in yours too. lol. Sometimes you can't control your feelings either, so let them come and go. If you feel insecure, just stop comparing and definitely stop writing for a little bit. I hope it helps, it's really hard to explain lol, but overall, just make sure to never overwhelm yourself, keep it soft and simple :)
thanks for these! I loved these questions <3333
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wooahaes · 1 year
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hi! (first time sending an ask so pls lmk if anyone has this emoji but-) i completely agree w/ u that writers should put a warning or smth that the fanfic will be catered to a certain body type as ive read fanfic w/o that and have felt insecure. not saying these writers are intentionally trying to make ppl feel bad, but they need to realize that sometimes their works do cater to thin/skinny body types and letting readers know that rly isnt a big deal. ty for always speaking ur truth! - 🐱 anon
hi nonny! im gonna answer all ur asks in one go <3 (no need to apologize for spamming! i had a moment of 'oh fuck did i say something wrong' but thats just anxiety brain speaking haha)
honestly! i genuinely don't mind if writers wanna intentionally write works for a thinner reader, it'd just be nice for them to write in a little warning at the beginning of the fic <3 i write chubby readers and mark 'em with chubby!reader so my audience knows, nothing wrong w doing it the other way around!
i also wanna say, i remember looking up "seventeen x chubby reader", "svt x chubby reader", or smth along those lines on tumblr but just knowing almost nothing will pop up 💔. until i saw a little fanfic called "tiger stripes" and was baffled that someone actually wrote something that had someone like me in mind. i remember feeling and being so happy about it. just thank you for your svt x chubby reader works because u make us chubby carats feel so seen 🫶🏼 - 🐱 anon
aaaa ty lovely!! im a chubby gal myself so i love writing chubby!reader fics from time to time when inspiration strikes <3 usually i try to keep everything body neutral so that anyone can enjoy my fics (even in my chubby reader fics, i try not to specify how big reader is so that anyone bigger can enjoy them), but sometimes i just gotta aim something for the chubby gals out there <3 tiger stripes is one of my most beloved fics and it genuinely makes me happy to think of my own stretch marks as tiger stripes hehe <3
ah anyway !! hope im not a bother w/ my asks !! i just wanted to tell u this despite my shyness bc idk, i rly feel like u needed to hear it 🙏🏼 anyway, i also wanna add ur a rly good writer and keep on doing what ur doing 👍🏼 - 🐱 anon
u are 100000% fine!! i love talking to anons and ur always welcome to pop into my inbox whenever you feel like it <3 + it does always help to hear that other chubby carats enjoy my work!! mwah mwah ur so sweet
tw fatphobia mentions (nothing explicitly fatphobic tho) // omg though.. i remember finding this [redacted] x reader fic and bc it appeared under the [removed] tag (smth like that) and i assumed that it was catered to fat ppl. but unfortunately it turned out to be incredibly fatphobic w/ it's themes, plot, + y/n. im not saying u have to be fat to write "x fat reader" fanfic but perhaps step away from writing for ppl u have no understanding of if ur gna write stuff like that.. - 🐱 anon
redacting the guy + the tag from your ask purely to try and avoid anyone tracking down the writer by any means! i trust my followers to not do something like that, but i'd feel better reducing that risk in any way <3
oh yikes! i think like... its worth it to sometimes address fatphobia in writing, but that kind of stuff 100% needs a warning! one of my current fic ideas involves a reader who is confident in her body but kinda relapses back to a previous mindset of 'maybe i Should be ashamed of it' after being fully insulted for being a bigger gal and the fic would absolutely have a warning.
i do agree that you def do not have to be a bigger person to write chubby/fat reader fics, but its definitely something you need to be mindful of when you wanna handle the heavier topics. im always happy to weigh in with my own thoughts + experiences, and im sure other people would be, too! no shame in trying to address it in themes/plot, but there's def a difference between endorsing those ideas and discussing them (and i'll say i have no idea which was being done in this fic)
(btw: no one go looking for this writer to say anything to them btw, we do not promote harassment on this blog--anon ur 100% fine to express ur opinions since i've seen fatphobia in reader fics, too, and it's okay to express discomfort with the idea. i'm always open to discussing things as long as they don't point too directly to anyone's work--and i'm equally open to taking down anything that pinpoints a certain writer.)
anyway ur 100% fine to send as many asks as u want!! im always happy to talk to people esp abt topics like this (or in general too!) <3 ty for being polite tho mwah mwah ur v cute
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babymorte · 5 months
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Ok, here are some since ya bored and so am I
12, 13, 17, 26, 29, 51, and 93
ayyyyyyyyyye lets freaking go keep em coming i have a slow as shit day
12. ideas of a perfect date:
ooo okay so i actually think about this sort of thing a lot so bare with me...it would be an all day thing because im all about spending as much time together as possible. so it would be like 77°F and sunny and we'd be either going on a nature walk or a hike or something outside or in the woods/forest...maybe to the river maybe the lake...but we're going to be outside for as long as possible and just chill together, talk, fuck off...you know...just chill and enjoy each others presence. and since the hike would take 3-4hrs (i like being outside what can i say) we would be getting back around dinner time. so we would order in ramen and then choose a movie to watch...either pick one out together or each choose our favourite (whether we've seen them a million times or never at all) and then watch those...if a netflix n chill sitch happens then great but its not necessary needed or expected and then the night would end by gaming together into the wee early hours of the next day n then maybe fall asleep together all cutesy cuz we're so exhausted from the fun day we spent together.
OR
we spend the entire day in the city and go exploring (dont even have to spend money just walking around old town and south street and centre city is so much fun by itself), get food at the best restaurant on south street (tattooed mom whats up), catch a show, and then maybe go to the barcade or something (not to drink just solely to play old school games cuz that place is fun as shit)
they're honestly both super simple but like it doesnt take much to make me happy n i just enjoy spending time together
13. life goal:
to just be legitimately happy
17. a fact about my life:
it's trash
26. what's one thing you regret:
no ragrets. gotta live your life like scotty p or you'll never be happy
29: one insecurity:
how easily i attach to and rely on people who arent good for me cuz im constantly being screwed over and taken advantage of
51. have you ever been on a plane?
i have! a bunch actually
93. have you ever broken a bone?
i cracked whatever the one bone in my forearm is by tripping over my own foot and falling into the corner of a pillar while playing laser tag...that was fun. never had to wear a cast though. i've sprained my ankle a bunch (did it recently actually) and my fingers multiple times too...i get hurt very often and very easily. i need to be put into a bubble
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