#IM SURPRISED U ARENT BRICKED TO HIGH SHITS

[mail-me-a-snail]

making a separate post about this since it's spoilers but ill keep it vague since ik a lot of y'all want to play de (ooo you want to so sososo bad)

during the final day of the endgame i completely forgot to do the 18 hour mind project and had no time for it. i was mourning the fact that id never get to hear what the skills had to say about the homosexual underground.

but then. then i remembered i had the man from hjelmdall book in my inventory. so i made harry read that over n over til 18 hours passed and it was near midnight and the mind project finally finished

can you imagine. can you imagine being kim kitsuragi, tired and sore and just wanting to go home, on both an isolated sea fortress and on the cusp of solving THE HANGED MAN after a hell of a week. when your partner. pulls out a macho man fantasy series and reads uninterrupted gone from this world totally invested in fantasy violence

only to turn to you 18 hours later and go "kim i think i like men"

[danepopfrippery]

After being devastated by the ending of Dead to Me and reading interviews im like hmm…

I made my disabled insta cuz for years that has been something so hard for me to as they put it ‘grieve’ what was lost. My life before rheumatoid arthritis was like chugging along then u hit a brick wall full force. You’re 21 and now every dream you ever had has a million asterisks to it.

When I was a kid I mostly dreamed of escaping rural hell and the bigger picture was much more vague. But (child of the 90s gonna show) i figured i could always become a writer and that would make a real world income (lol not even if i was abled these days.) I figured my 20s would be like The Nanny or Sister Sister. Hell worse case scenario Roseanne. Of course its not like what i wanted in my teens even remotely happened so i dunno why i was surprised.

I guess it comes down to when your young (from child to 25) you dont picture a world in which you arent necessarily dying or visibly ill…but ur fucked enough u cant have normal.

Nvm growing up rural u simply werent ‘allowed’ to be sick. That was laziness and/or sin payback. I used to pray endlessly i wouldnt get cancer or aids, i didnt even know young ppl could have arthritis (not that i want the other illnesses lol).

I think when you’re disabled or some major life event derails you from where u were, you are always grieving. Because every day is another day you realize your expectations wont meet reality even if they are low (ex: going to a party or meeting w friends then fatigue hits u). I got so stoned in Chicago (and i dont like being high in public) cuz i refused to miss the event I was there for cuz my damn leg was giving out. It was worth it but its def not how i expected it to go or how itd go if I was abled.

Every shit decision i have to muddle through leads back to grieving what will never be. Im un rural hell cuz Im poor af due to this, i wont meet anybody friends or romantically due to being here, im 35 kissing 36 and im basically where i was at 14 just knowing the world out there is better.

Its a lot man