#dramatically disabled

[danepopfrippery]

Poverty, generational poverty, etc all doomed me but getting sick when i was just starting out (19/20 years old) is what did it.

And ppl wonder i related so hard to izzy telling the unicorn to fuck off.

Ive been sick most of my life and diagnosed at least 16 years. If one ever stops being angry about being disabled i have yet to hit it (prbly cuz as my doctors know im blessed and more and more things come up like it just never fucking ends with this shit body)

Like my sis just got diagnosed w fibro andn it didnt hit her til about 5 years ago, at which point she had a tween child and had long learned to make men do her bidding. She gets to be sick with a family in a house she owns. Im a hobo truly bereft of what to do once my cats leave this life

[danepopfrippery]

This is what adhd and/or disabled life is like.

My creep ex used to be BAFFLED that id come home and change immediately into pjs. Ive done that at least since i was…10?

Of course he also claimed ALL his exes wore bras all day even to bed and never were seen in their pjs (look i can be glamorous if *I* want to but the tits are free)

shoutout to people who lay in bed all day when they get home from work/school, people who can't go to loud or crowded places or concerts, people who change into pajamas because other clothes are uncomfortable, people who can't consistently participate in hobbies, people who have to turn down hanging out with friends, people who have lowered their standards to improve themselves, people who need affirmations, and people who struggle to stay healthy. you deserve so much love and I hope things get better.

[beaft]

it is legit bizarre to me how hard video game creators and film directors and showrunners try to pretend that fat people don't exist. can you think of the last time you saw a fat person in a lead role? god forbid a fat woman? i can walk down the street or go into a shop or restaurant and see fat people everywhere but then i switch on the tv and suddenly it's like a glimpse into an alternate universe where no one has a bmi over 24. insidious and weird

[nightshadewine]

“ugh why do disabled and chronically ill people complain about their illness so much?”

for a long time before i got ill, i could not fathom why anyone would write an illness memoir. i didnt have anything against them, i just couldnt imagine why anyone would want to spend their time thinking and writing about illness. it’s something we all experience, why dwell on it? why get our sympathy and pity?

but i think i understand now why we talk about it so much, in a way that abled people often construe as “complaining”. a lot of us were healthy for a period in our life; we got to experience what everyone else experiences. a lot of us probably thought we understood the ill and disabled life. and then we got ill.

and i think the reason we spend so much time talking about illness is because we’re living the indescribable. we have crossed a border to another world that we thought we knew. we went to hell and couldnt return, and now we’re writing back to tell them how much worse it is than we could have imagined. we’re writing, screaming, bleeding a warning back through to our old world, our old lives, burning in fires we once saw from a distance as merely red, and trying to explain that what we thought we knew is wrong. we got it so so very wrong. we think we are doing them a favour.

and we hear back through the veil that they cannot fathom why we are complaining so much.

after all, we all know about hell.

[danepopfrippery]

I am going thru it w a show im co-captaining and a burlesque number i chose. Its weird cuz not until the week before did this crop up when my bottom layer didnt suit me how i thought.

A friend said ‘be miss piggy on stage’ but im at like scooter confidence wise. Its just hard to reconcile ur body that exists and just stays this way no matter what w the world of cishet men who tell u its wrong and u should be wearing a garbage bag in a corner. I also recently learned my thin sister likely got covid pre vax existing cuz she kept going to the gym…even masked it was a risk. And shes had 3 years of health problems from it.

I fear she sees my life and says to herself ‘well i dont want to live that’ tho shes been nothing but kind to me. My other sis who is thin and closer in age (so seen me goin thru it) has become a real fat positive person but even tho thats good im like ‘o my existence is an issue’ and that sucks balls. I guess being disabled i was gonna be an issue anyway but its just a lot bubbling up.

Oh ill be doing the number. And my body is literally resisting me at this point (my hip went out after bursitis hit both shoulders). I just hope i can get back to confident (and hip movable) by fri

Just thought people may enjoy this :)

[a-totally-reasonable-username]

Anyone else struggle with going to the doctor for perceived small stuff? I'm so used to fighting for doctors to take me seriously while i'm literally dying that going to the doctor for "normal" issues is really difficult and i always feel silly even though i know i shouldn't

[floatingonapaintedsky]

People's reaction to Maya absolutely reeks of misogyny. And a refusal to engage with the fact her behavior is absolutely a result of the ways that able-bodied people treat disabled people. Which is absolutely wild for a show centered around the fact that what drew one of the MLs to the other is that he was one of the only people that treated him like a whole person instead of someone to be pitied, infantilized and made a spectacle of because of their disability. Like it's made very clear that ableism from others is a near constant and that a lot of people interact with you not because they actually want to know you as a person but because they want to feel good about themselves for being nice to the "poor helpless disabled person" The girl that told Kohei carrying the trash must be too difficult for him because he can't hear, the guys that let him score a basket because it would've been "pitiful" to defend against him, Yoko's cousin and her weird romance fantasy etc etc.

So Maya, as a disabled person who also deals with that bs on the daily, being stand-offish and critical or suspicious of an able-bodied man? Makes sense actually. Right now her character is there as conflict between the characters, it makes sense to not like her but hop off of all that "uwu this character is perfect sunshine baby and anyone who is mean or critical of them is a heartless bitch" bullshit

[danepopfrippery]

My baby sis (who also has rheumatoid arthritis) just confirmed to me at some point my hoar mother told her I had ra cuz i didnt pray to jesus, but sis didnt have it ‘like that’.

My hoar mother told me to my face I had ra because i didnt pray to jesus back in 2017. I tweeted it immediately for receipts and of course she now claims that never happened (ah gaslighters, will they ever learn?)

I just want to put out there that if any person of any faith or belief tells you that you are sick cuz you’ve done something wrong according to their system, tell them to kindly fuck off and try not to interact with them.

My mother is infamous in our fam for both these things. But i have, after all these years of it, a really hard time understanding how u could believe in a faith of love and say such a thing.

You know why i have ra? Surprised I have an answer? Her. And science. Years ago i took a dna test and ran it through some harvard reader that told u ur health info from it. I already had ra of course but i didnt need any new surprises. Theres three markers (or at the time anyway) for ra and rheumatology diseases and mine were a 10/10 on all counts.

My baby sister is my half sister, we share a mom. She got ra at age 3. Ive done some reading on it and by current (last 10 years) science it seems one parent would have high markers for rheum and if they bred with someone who had mild ones bam: rheum diseases. None of my mothers siblings have ra and no one in her line is known to have had it. But the combo of her parents set her up to have kids very prone to rheum diseases.

So i do love blaming her (shes a terrible human being) but do remember not all gen testing and gen therapy is regulated or good. Really research it if u do it.

As for the jebus thing? Yeah if theres a jesus i think that would piss him off (im a mostly agnostic pagan these days). No one should make anyone feel like their disease was from some moral fault. Truly just awful people how do they have the nerve?

When i was a child she had me so terrified if i didnt beg forgiveness from god then any slight i may have done would land me in hell (and along the way sick: i was terrified of aids and cancer despite not knowing anyone with either as a kid). Believe science. And spread kindness. You will be fine.

[danepopfrippery]

My abled sister just seethes at the statistics of how many men leave/cheat their sick spouses. I didnt have great luck before i was ill, but since i became ill its clear no one sees me as a real choice. Play toy sure but a broken dishwasher? No thanks

[wimpy-imp]

I've just always assumed that everyone is always in pain and just put up with it and i was just being weak and overdramatic for not being able to do everything they could. like as long as i can really remember (like a few years?) standing still a couple hours a day gets really painful really fast and i just assumed that was normal

and then i had a particularly painful day yesterday where i physically couldn't leave my bed for more than a minute until dinnertime and thought this couldn't be normal right??

and now today I've been way more aware of my pain even though i don't think it's been particularly worse than a normal day?? as if I've stopped trying to ignore it as much as i can??

idk does this sound like anything to anyone

am i crazy?

[simplyghosting]

The worst part about wearing glasses is that I can’t dramatically flop face-first into my bed like a tragic heroine whenever the need arises. No. I have to take my glasses off and gingerly place them on my desk so that the lenses are face up so that I can continue seeing lest they be scuffed. Zero pizazz. No style. Dramatic flair ruined.

[bougiebutchbitch]

cuddy ilu but have you maybe considered pranking House by putting clingfilm over his toilet seat or glitter bombing him rather than playing ‘trip the cripple’ and forcing the guy with chronic pain who’s not very steady on his feet to walk up multiple flights of stairs

[danepopfrippery]

My sis is going thru the ‘oh shit im prbly chronically ill’ thing rn and shes scared. Esp the unknown. I told her the only relief to me is when u find what it is so u no longer go ‘oh im just lazy for being in pain 24/7’

“well it’s good your tests came back normal!”

no. it’s not.

a normal test result doesn’t mean i don’t have symptoms anymore. it just means we’re no closer to an explanation.

i’m still struggling. my symptoms are still getting worse. we just don’t know why, also meaning they don’t take me seriously.

a normal test result is not a a happy thing when disabled.

[neurosky]

Finally got through the internalized ableism and got a cane!!

It's yellow and sparkly with smiley faces on it =]

[witchyamethyst]

"I have hands that shake"

But they're always like that.

The shaking is arthritus. I'm disabled.

[andromedaexists]

"i'm literally never beating the allegations" and then the allegations are that i like skrunkly looking guys