#IM SORRY FOR THE WORD VOMIT..

[deusfoundry]

being a med/premed student and having zayne as your boyfriend is literally a godsend. he helps you study for your exams, quizzing you on each topic until you nail them down and explaining those you just can't seem to wrap your head around in a pace most comfortable to you. he's patient, always adjusting how he teaches things in whichever way you can grasp them quickly. sometimes, he likes to challenge you, asking questions in between each point of the procedure as a way to work your brain. other times, he guides you carefully through it, holding your hand each step of the way. he speaks slowly, emphasizing the key points and allowing the little gears in your mind to turn.

he makes sure to reward you accordingly. a kiss on the tip of your nose for every five questions you get right. on the cheek for every ten. one on the lips if you can explain concepts or procedures without stuttering. a whole night of cuddle time if you manage to make it through your study sessions.

and something more, something a little heated if he feels you've surpassed your limits for the day and yet you insist on doing more. one hand on your thigh, his hot breath fanning across the skin behind your ear as he coaxes you into going to bed, and you're a goner, already mindlessly following zayne to your bedroom with a few disgruntled complaints about how unfair he is muttered under your breath.

how else is he supposed to ensure you get enough rest anyway?

and he talks you through it on days where it's exceptionally hard. when you feel like you're drowning in coursework and just barely passing test scores. when you lose sight of the future and begin to question the decisions you made. he moves your hair out of the way and wipes the tears off your face, reassuring you that it'll get better soon, and he'll always be by your side through ups and downs.

[zuzu-draws]

So after the spoilers for Chap 257 dropped, I saw some tweets clarifying the meaning of the Kanji Sukuna used in the chapter when referring to his mother, and the overall reveals in the chapter got me thinking.

I’m making this post as a way of gathering my thoughts, personal speculations and where I think all of this connects to Sukuna’s character and the information Gege has given us over the years. Nothing I say is by any means new information, but like I said, I’m just collecting my thoughts here. By the way, just a warning, this post contains SPOILERS for the JJK Manga! If you don’t like that, please don’t read this!

Something I’ve noticed is that the theme of “Hunger” and symbolism of “Cooking/Food” is heavily referenced with Sukuna throughout the Manga. Gege in a previous Fanbook has disclosed Sukuna’s favorite Hobby to be “Eating”.

This theme is again very much ingrained within Sukuna’s cursed techniques and even his Domain Expansion, the “Malevolent Shrine”. With his two main techniques being “Dismantle” and “Cleave” are cutting-type attacks. He is also able to use a Flame-Arrow, and Fire is essential for making Food. The Shrine in his Domain Expansion literally has mouths on all sides, looking eager to chew down anything in-front of them!

This symbolism also heavily influences Sukuna’s own manner of speech, and the way he speaks to other characters in the series as well. With his post-fight chat with Jogo before his death, Sukuna mentions Jogo lacking the “Hunger” to take control of his desires, preventing him from reaching the heights of Gojo Satoru. Before the Start of their fight in Shinjuku, Sukuna called Gojo a “Nameless Fish on top of his cutting board”, and that he was going to start by “Peeling off the scales”(refering to Gojo’s infinity). There’s also further symbolism that supports this by analyzing the Kanji and meaning of Sukuna’s “Malevolent Shrine” but I’m not very educated on that so I won’t be opening that point here.

What all of this points to is that Eating and Food……is extremely important to Sukuna, to the point that it literally affects him in manners innumerable.

Eating is an instinct, a necessity for the survival of every single living being.

And In the face of extreme Hunger and starvation, even those with the strongest will could lose their Humanity and revert to the basic animalistic side of their existence. (The Heian Period also had a Famine, although I believe the timing to be a bit off, but do with this info as you see fit)

In JJK Chapter 257, it is revealed to us that Sukuna and his Twin were most likely starving in the womb of their starving mother.

On the brink of starvation, Sukuna had to consume his “other self”(his twin), so that he could survive.

Btw, this tweet and this thread gives additional characterisation to Sukuna:

Link to the original thread: Link.

More context (and reactions :P):

Link to original thread: Here

This reveals to us that indeed, Sukuna was born a twin. And as we all know, “Twins” are seen with extreme scrutiny in Jujutsu Society, they’re not well liked. This too in a period where Cursed Spirits and Jujutsu Sorcery was at its peak, it is not far-fetched to assume that his Mother may not have been treated very well by the people in her surroundings, especially as she bore twins.

When Kashimo asks if Sukuna was born the Strongest or if he made himself the Strongest, this is the response Sukuna gave to him:

When you think about it, how do you think the people around them would have reacted when the woman: who was supposed to birth two twins, gave birth to a single child instead? and that child had consumed his other twin in the womb itself?

No doubt people would’ve been horrified, disgusted and even revulsed. With the woman and her newborn child.

This would’ve led to their further ostracisation in the already very close-minded society. Unable to fend for herself and her newborn child, it must’ve been difficult for Sukuna’s mother to survive. I feel like somewhere along the line, Sukuna was left alone to fend for himself at an extremely young age. To protect himself from both Curses and Society alike.

This is why I believe Sukuna knows what true starvation, weakness and hunger feels like. Both in the emotional and literal sense. He was left without another person caring about him or his well-being, in a cut-throat period where it was “Fight or be killed”.

Powerful curses roamed all across Japan, nowhere was safe. Simply be strong, or you'll die. There's no room for weakness. And initially, a kid!Sukuna was weak, as anyone would be in the beginning when they're just starting out in this world. (and maybe, he didn't have much to eat, leading to long periods of starvation? :') )

I believe it is this debilitating hunger, and feeling of weakness that eventually led to Sukuna’s current Hedonistic mindset.

He’s essentially traumatised by it, and believes that it was his own weakness that led him to experience this sheer starvation. That he deserved to feel this way because he was weak then. Perhaps, the people around him were right, that as long as they have the power and strength to overcome anything, they’re free to do as they please; And there is nothing anyone else could do about it.

I feel like the irony here is that Sukuna himself, must’ve been a “weakling” before eventually rising the ranks to become History’s Strongest Sorcerer. This is also why he values Strength so much.

Ultimately, Sukuna has decided that there was nothing more important than being strong enough to fulfill your own desires. And “eating” is one of his most important desires. It’s his favourite thing to do, the one he derives the most pleasure out of. And like an animal, whose main focus is to consume, consume and consume. He too, simply consumes.

Most morals likely have no meaning to him. He doesn’t care who he hurts, what he does, as long as he’s able to get what he wants. And this isn’t limited to eating.

This is why people referring to Sukuna as a “Natural Disaster” is so befitting of him. Because Natural Disasters also don’t care about what or who they’re destroying, they just come and go, wreaking havoc appropriate for their nature and magnitude.

I believe Sukuna himself has said lines similar in nature, when talking to Kashimo:

Now I’m not sure how Sukuna perceives or even experiences this “Love”, because I think he has a rather very warped idea of it. I do think that this definition of love is similar to the one that Gojo also understands, but I don’t think he knows what “love” truly is. I’m not sure how I could comment on this, but I do think that Sukuna’s emotionally starved, whether he realises that or not.

Because, like Kashimo himself asked Sukuna ��What is the point of dividing your soul into 20 different parts and then traversing across time if you’re satisfied with this?” we do not know the answer to that yet.

But many people have speculated that “Black Box” panels in JJK manga represent a curse (either self-inflicted or put by someone) on the speaker. Like, take a look over here where Sukuna reiterates the same dialogue, except it looks like he’s trying to reassure himself:

This once again shows that Sukuna has only ever strived for himself, in the same hedonistic fashion, to a very very extreme degree. It is possible that he's been lacking something, and he himself does not realise that he’s lacking it. Maybe it was this subconscious feeling, that led to Sukuna agreeing to Kenjaku’s plan of dividing his soul into 20 different parts, and to traverse across time as a Cursed Object.

Sukuna’s an incredibly complex character, and I’m excited to see where this goes. Gege has put extra care in the way he characterizes and depicts Sukuna, and again, I’m really sad that a lot of that characterization gets lost in translation. Still, I’m going to try my best to understand and get the most accurate feel of his character as I possibly can.

If you made it this far, Thank you for reading! And if you would like, please do leave a comment in the tags or replies because I would love to read what other people think of this and just Sukuna in general. I do not see a lot of people doing critical analysis of him, and a lot of his actions are seemingly swept under the rug. I don’t like that, so hopefully this contributes to people focusing more on Sukuna and his character. (/^v^)/ <3

[surreal-duck]

master artist and his number one fan

guy who is being so normal about the new additions to their profiles. i think abt midoris initial infatuation with his art slowly developing into appreciating yuzuru himself as a person and idol to the point he worries about how he sees him (ex: a bit of home party and in workplace survival rules) sometimes thats a lie i think about it a lot. and yuzuru learning to enjoy art just for the sake of drawing!! seeing the lets try diy story where he doesnt even refute drawing on midoris desk and was only worried that his doodles might cover up the mascot design compared to how discouraged he usually would be in earlier ! stories. everything to me i adore their dynamic if that wasnt obvious by *gestures to basically everything*

and happy pride month 🏳‍🌈

[fettiowi]

thinking about pink diamond and spinel again imagine you lost your best friend. you lost them because of something youve done. the one person who understood you was hurt and taken away by your family who belittles and constantly mistreats and misunderstand you then your family turns around and makes you a new friend. someone to keep you busy so you dont bother them. this person is very clearly molded after the way that they see you: immature, loud, naive, inconsiderate. they're a personification of everything wrong with how your family treats you. you didnt ask for them. you wanted your friend, not this doll created out of misunderstanding who you are and your desires. you still have some fun with them, but it feels like they set you back. a constant reminder of how your family views you as immature and childish. you wanna show your family you can handle yourself you wanna grow up. you wanna show that you are not that imaginary mirror theyve created for you. you wanna leave that life behind and create the future you truly wanted for yourself. and so, to finally move you, you leave that behind. you put the personifications of the created assumptions about you behind and finally grow and move on except... they were never just a mirror. they were never just an expensive toy to spoil you. they were never just a personification of everything they saw in you. they were their own person. someone with their own thoughts and feelings. someone who never knew any of this. someone who loved and was loyal. someone who then thought you disliked them as a person.someone who then grew into someone who nearly destroyed everything youve loved because of what youve done. but you never knew . you were already gone. you never got to meet them. they never got to meet you.

[johnnysangelz]

you Guys ever think about freshly teenage sam, just turned 14. a baby, really.,, full of rage and anger towards his dad for being a shit father,,….. and being described as moody and grumpy. :((((( meanwhile hes the sweetest boy towards his Dean… all smiles n giggles, pillow fights and surprise tackling. innocently and Unknowingly making his big brother hard everytime they touch. and Dean is just oh so guilty.. :(((((( how could he feel that for his baby brother ! his baby !! hes supposed to protect him ! and.,,, no way Sam feels the same… right? But Sam is so inlove with his brother it makes him vomit

[mixalicious]

while obv i dont think curly is on the same level as jimmy, when you’re in anyas position people who are complicit in abuse, either intentionally or not, can feel just as bad as the actual perpetrators

anya obviously did still love curly, she loved him until she died, but i cant even begin to imagine the emotions she was probably feeling having to deal with and care for curly post-crash, loving him while still knowing he was complicit in her suffering (also adding onto the fact she felt responsible for what she thought he had done)

curly wanted to “sort out a miscommunication”

curly believed his own biases over the proof that was standing right in front of him

he didnt want to report that jimmy had raped anya and he basically paid the ultimate price for it

[sunshinereddie]

im passionate about reddie having special little things that they do to make each other happy. like richie knows that eddie isn't a big fan of flying, so whenever eddie does have to fly somewhere for work richie will always sneak a love note in eddie's carry on bag or something so that when eddie opens it on the flight to get his laptop or something, he will also find a little note from richie with a bad pun about planes or safe travels wishes or something else, but no matter what it is it makes eddie feel a little better as he holds it in his hand for the entire flight. richie has lots of Voices that he does on purpose, but eddie is really the only one who can really distinguish between his not-a-bit voices, even when richie tries to hide it, eddie can always detect the hint of frustration in richie's words when he's annoyed about something, or the worry in his voice when he's stressed. because of that eddie is also very good at taking action and helping richie feel better, sometimes before richie himself even realizes what's wrong. richie calls eds one day after work to let him know he's on his way home, and even though his words are normal eddie can right away hear some distress in his bf's voice, and remembers that richie had an important career-deciding meeting today that he was stressed about. eddie connects the dots and wanting to give richie any small amount of comfort he can, goes and gets richie's favourite dinner for them so that it's ready for when he gets home (richie thinks that eddie must have some sort of psychic abilities...... how does he always manage to order richie's favourite food on the days that richie is feeling down???? he'll never understand.......)

i just think that reddie encompass "it's the little things that count" and that after knowing each other for so long, because they know each other so well, there are those "little things" that only they know about each other and so it makes these actions all the more special.

[three-of-pentacles]

I saw this template on Pinterest and thought it'd be fun to fill out w my guyes. Ramblings under the cut :]

A lot of these are pretty self explanatory but I wanted to talk abt some of them cuz I'm crazy

In my own personal world they met in Sneznhaya, met and were actually friendly for a bit before they found out who each other was, they fought, and have had a rivalry ever since. (Sort of. It's mostly Childe wanting a rematch and Diluc hating the Fatui) So it's kind of a slow burn but also they've connected already and all of this is just them trying to pretend they didn't while simultaneously killing themselves over being in love. They're so incredibly normal <3

They stay together forever because they both die at like 30 /j Fr though I just don't think they'd split up after all the hoops they'd have to jump through to have a chance together. They'd make it work even if it killed them (it probably will)

I like the dichotomy of Diluc dying over not hating a harbinger and Childe just having fun with it. I am by no means a Childe expert (I'm a Diluc enjoyer through and through I'm sorry Childe fans) but I feel like he'd probably be less insane about that aspect of the relationship. Especially in comparison to Diluc

It's so difficult for me to voice my thoughts on them because they just circle my mind constantly and I can't formulate words when it comes to them. They just exist in my mind as a blob that never leaves <///3

I will absolutely ramble about them terribly again soon though no one can stop me

[tomezatos]

so like basically in the REIGEN manga tome tries so desperately to throw herself into the center of this literal Superhuman world she sees and play the role of the eager young protagonist and its so endearing but in the end reigen has to come clean and she can’t keep using the spiritual premise as a crutch. not because she was wrong to have her whimsical interests, but because the fantasy of specialness can often be an escape from the isolation a person feels due to being unable to live up to societal ideals of normalcy, and yet in the end the fantasy can itself end up feeding directly into the isolation by obscuring your view of the other people in your life. you cannot prioritize the idea of being unique or special alone and that is the reason that the power structures in the story (as represented by roshuuto in REIGEN) so frequently fail short; because actually EVERYONE is a Pathetic Freak Weirdo Nerd Loser, from the handsome, popular rich boy, to the pretentious Dark!Reigen foil who takes himself too seriously, to all of the mundane teenage girls who the audience is initially tricked into dismissing as shallow, but also by the same token EVERYONE deserves to be loved and feel supported. 

because actually bonds with other people are the most important thing, and centrally this is also why REIGEN relies so heavily on bonds with others as something to create horror. the evil spirit mimics the voices of the ones you love and lures you in and when you’re at your most lost and scared and in need, that’s when you turn around and the face of the person you trust betrays you. tome only contracts the fatal curse in the first place because she cared about reigen and went back to make amends with him. because that’s the most horrifying, most terrifying thing, the thing that renders you absolutely helpless, isn’t it? it’s letting yourself rely on others and trust them to the point that it leaves you vulnerable, isn’t it? but you have to do it, if you want to achieve true connection then you can’t continue keeping up a veneer of Specialness and posturing as someone you’re not no matter how afraid you are of being seen as your true self. that’s the idea that really connects tome and reigen above all else. you have to be who you really are and you have to trust that you’ll be loved for it. and that’s horrifying! that’s an unimaginable, Forbidden terror! but it’s necessary. 

and also I think it’s so clever how REIGEN conveys this by only bringing in shigeo kageyama, the protagonist and most recognizable character who the reader has so many preconceived notions of, in at the last moment as a terrifying ghost who is impersonating him. I mean also it’s partially because shigeo can easily be made to look scary lol, because let’s be real, he can be pretty goddamn scary /hj BUT MOSTLY it’s to have him in his uniform, in his most recognizable and iconic form that the reader will cling to, and then have it be blown away by the post-canon shigeo, the real shigeo, the shigeo who has grown and changed and is no longer stuck in the role he once was. because to be vulnerable with others you have to grow and change and do away with old pretenses and dynamics that you’ve become dependent on. it can be scary to stop playing roles after you’ve grown use to them for so long, but you don’t need them - your most honest self will be the most loved. and also I love how just like tome could tell that it was the real reigen bcause he immediately ran into a spiderweb and yelled, you can tell that it’s the real shigeo because he’s immediately rude as fuck and he and reigen literally instantly go into their mean pithy little affectionate banter lol ok sorry anyway.

and also because you cannot really be any more or less special than anyone else and you need bonds with others, it’s true both that you have to rely on other people, but also that you owe it to them to be kind. reigen is literally a normal person working in the spirit business, so he has to rely on other people with the necessary abilities, such as dimple the spirit and serizawa the psychic, yes, but he also does his part to take care of the people who matter to him. roshuuto is so focused on appearances and power - as shown by how he goes on and on about connections - but when it comes down to it, he was not willing to save others (leaving hoshido in Reliance), and so nobody bothered trying to save him in turn. he only abandoned, and was abandoned. this is shown most acutely in the end by how roshuuto “has no other option” but to pass his curse on to someone else to save himself, while reigen “has no other option” to take on a curse to save someone else. reigen and serizawa accepting their responsibility as adults to protect the children around them is an extension of the idea that you are equal to everyone and are obligated to be kind to your loved ones and recieve kindness in turn. anyway mutual trust and communication is all that matters and tome kurata is The protagonist of all time Sorry,

[batboopp]

i like ghostmaker and batman as narrative foils not in the “ghostmaker is incapable of forming relationships with or feeling empathy for others, therefore batman is better” way but in the fact that ghostmaker IS better. literally. more stronger mentally, emotionally, physically. stronger in the way he carries himself and how he sees himself and how he treats others (depending on your definition of strong) and yet, he’s still so so miserable. he can lie to himself all he wants, or ignore everything but blatant fact, but it still doesn’t change the fact that even though he follows batman’s “I work alone” rule better than the actual batman ever could, he still loses to bruce in some way. bruce was willing to shoot someone for khoa, willing to follow and stay, and khoa straight up couldn’t handle it. therefore, he is worse in the one thing that makes batman, batman. that nothing will ever tie him down, no matter what. not Bruce or his city or his rouges.

except, that’s not entirely true anymore, is it? because this time, he does stay. he meets Bruce’s kids and indulges bruce in banter and playfighting and even fake ‘dates’. he stays, and leads, batman inc. and he does it considerably better than batman. of course, he still kills people. he can barely stand batmans kids and the feeling is entirely mutual. he still treats others as expendable next to his mission. but, he stays. he stays with bruce, with someone, in some way this time. he’s learning, he’s willing to learn.

[steveshairychest]

Stevie is wearing a tight black dress with a deep neckline that shows off all the moles on her chest, it also has a slit down the side that shows off the tattoo Eddie did for her and a bunch of people she's never met before helped with her hair and makeup. She left the house feeling very pampered and important, especially since Eddie almost tripped down the stairs because he couldn't stop looking at her.

She's excited for their date night.

Except it's a little more than their usual date night because she's walking the red carpet!

Stevie can't believe that she; a small town girl who works as a teacher, is actually walking the red carpet! She has her hand clasped tightly in Eddie's as hundreds of photographers shout at Eddie and demand to know who the dazzling woman accompanying him is. Stevie smiles politely at them and concentrates very hard on not tripping in her heels; the added height makes her tower over Eddie in his fancy dress shoes.

This is the official public launch of their relationship, and Stevie is nervous. Eddie said that they didn't have to do it like this, that he could give the plus one invitation to Wayne, but she couldn't deny that little part of herself that wanted people to know Eddie was hers; that no one else gets to have him.

But she also knows how... passionately, some of Eddie's fans feel about her rockstar boyfriend, and she'd be lying if she said she isn't a little scared of the backlash.

What if someone makes fun of her dress? Or says they don't look like a good couple? What if the photos of her turn out bad? Eddie's used to people talking about him, he's developed a good armour against it, but Stevie is still new at this, and she genuinely wants the public to like her.

"You did so well, sweetheart." Eddie praises when they finally get inside and it's nice to only have Eddie's eyes on her for that split second. She doesn't have to keep her smile small and polite and her posture perfect as they stand in a sort of waiting room on their own, just the two of them beaming at each other without the click of a camera to disturb them.

"Thanks for coming with me." He squeezes her hand gently. "These events always make me so nervous and having you here with me tonight makes me feel invincible. Fuck, I might even give a speech if I win something!"

Stevie laughs and bends down to kiss her boyfriend sweetly, careful not to smudge her lipstick. "If you win something, I'll kiss you on live television."

"Is that a promise?"

"Promise."

Stevie isn't one to back down from a promise.

So, when Corroded Coffin's latest album wins album of the year and Eddie gives a speech that leaves her sobbing, she jumps from her seat and kisses him hard when he comes back to their table, her hands holding his face delicately as Eddie breaks their kiss with a smile.

"I'm so proud of you." She cries and pulls him into a hug, a hug that covers the front page of nearly every magazine and news article as no one can stop talking about how perfect they are together.

Soon, articles about all the wonderful things Stevie has done for their small hometown start popping up and under all the old photos of Stevie and Eddie together it says 'Stevie Harrington and her boyfriend.'

Eddie whines jokingly that she's more famous than him now.

[burningfunobject]

Complete word vomit but like what if viktor decides that whatever the 'arcane' is too dangerous or comes at too high a cost and starts The Glorious Evolution from there?

Maybe he feels responsible for whatever the weird magic orb thingys are and decides that all of this mess (not just with the hex core but also with zaun and piltover) was due to human error so now he thinks he has to help people by getting rid of their 'flaws' like they're ability to make the kinds of mistakes he made in s1.

We know he already doesn't want the hex core to be around anymore so why would he suddenly become infatuated with it?? Like sure maybe it has an influence over him, but I seriously doubt it would last all season

Plus viktors whole Thing is helping people why would he stick with the hex core and all it's bs if it means either vaporising people or shimmer? Viktor is smart that's like the first thing we know about him I feel like he'd find a way out of the hex core's thrall

Idk I just don't really want to watch hex core bs for like a quarter of next season, I'll still probably like it tho

[chasedeys]

*whispers like a ghoul* You should write Joe’marr on a boat (maybe it’s Joes first time and he’s panicking) (MAYBE it’s their honeymoon)

*makes dying moose sound* god i really shouldddd just IMAGINEEE

joe's probably stoically uneasy wearing his eye searing tie dye swimming shorts and bright fucking orange life vest and stupid little expensive ass sunnies while ja'marr's rocking nothing but his tattoos and little black booty shorts he chose specifically for that day and demanding joe to loosen up but! no.

and ja'marr's just laughing at him because joe keeps answering in short sentences five words maximum in a tight voice very obviously bothered out of his mind but won't admit shit and then ja'marr is just yelling at the captain not to go so fast it's baby's first time (they're literally just static in the middle of the ocean) and joe finds it in himself to let go of the tight grip he has on the boat seats to leap up at ja'marr and try to throw him overboard and the captain is shouting at them to knock it off he will not be an accessory to murder aren't you both newlyweds???

they're given those wide inflatable pool float things to float on water so they can explore off the boat and they just lazily float on by in the ocean breeze tangled together making out in intervals and poking at each other's belly trying to tip the other off the float and talking (whispering really because they're tangled so close to each other they barely have to raise their voice sigh) about new floor plans and their turn to host team get togethers and what to get tee for his birthday (joint presents! ahaha) etc etc being so grossly comfortable in each other's space and In Love oughhhuhghuhh.

also. do you think they're the type of men to actually wear sunscreen. are they. or are they stupid.

[sad-scarred-sassy]

The tragedy of Spring🥀 - Chapter 6

Summary: Feyre Archeron finds out the truth.

Notes: I needed to get this out before it drove me insane! I hope you guys like it.

Read on AO3 or keep reading below the cut.

“You will be mine” She heard his voice, soft, vibrating over her body and luring her through the haze.

“And I will be yours” She felt his fingers on her waist, the place where she had felt them on her all night, moving her, guiding her. She felt a creeping sensation throughout her body, emerging from the pit of her stomach, screaming at her to run, but when she opened her eyes she saw stars and a universe of calm and comfort. A voice in her mind told her to run towards it, to grasp it and bathe herself in it, in the feeling, in his touch, his words.

But her body felt paralyzed, unsure.

Through the fog in her world she conjured a thought. “I don’t need you” She tried to get away, but his hands held her to him and she couldn’t help but stay still under them.

“Oh but you do” He said, voice soft and breathy, like a beautiful viper. “I can give you what you want, what you need. I can keep you safe”

“Safe?” The word felt so foreign to her now.

“Nothing bad will ever happen to you by my hand” He breathed on her skin and her body reacted. “That’s my word”

She knew something was off, something she couldn’t place, like when trying to hold on to a dream but feeling it slip away.

“Say it. Say it, Feyre” His breath hit her neck and her body trembled, urging her to speak or to flee, she wasn’t sure. The world was too dark, her body felt too tired and she was so desperate for that light, shining from his star-flecked eyes.

“I am yours, you are mine” She chanted, her words coming out monotonously, her vision blurring, hands and legs tingling.

“Perfect” She heard him say. “Close your eyes and rest, my mate ”

——

“Feyre”

She felt a pang in her stomach, like a rock had been dropped inside of it, painfully and all at once. Her arms and legs lost all strength as she looked into her sister’s wide and shocked eyes. She heard a horrible, consistent ringing in her ears, like a woman screeching inside her head, maybe that was her.

“You will be mine. And I will be yours”

Rhysand’s voice rang inside her mind. It couldn’t be. It had to be a mistake, Elain had to be mistaken.

“Feyre, calm down” Elain said, but she wasn’t calm herself, she looked lost too. It didn’t reassure her in the least.

“Y-you have to be mistaken” She felt herself say.

“Feyre I-“ Her brown eyes were glossy, tears beginning to form. Feyre couldn’t accept it.

“No! He’s my mate! I felt it, I felt him!” She was yelling now, but her sister only watched her.

“What I showed you, I didn’t make it up” She said softly, holding her hand tightly, as if she may disappear.

Feyre stared at her and it dawned on her then. How the moment she had come back from the dead she hadn’t felt it anymore, that tether to him that used to be like a piece of her soul, like he owned some of hers the way she owned some of his. How it had been easier to separate her thoughts from him then, easier to reject him, easier to want to leave him. He had broken the bargain.

“Nothing bad will ever happen to you by my hand”

She realized she was hyperventilating when Elain got to her feet and told her to breathe with her, to calm down. But she couldn’t calm down, because she was inside a nightmare, her world was falling apart, her life was a complete lie.

Why? The question popped inside her head and she couldn’t find an answer.

Why? Why? Why?

She realized she was chanting it, holding herself, rocking back and forth. Elain was trying to hold her together, but she was panicking herself.

“What’s happening?” She heard a familiar voice ask. Lucien. She started sobbing then.

“Lucien, help me. You need to get Nesta” The world was a vacuum, the voices were muffled. She needed more air or she was going to die.

“What is happening Elain? Why is she having a panic attack?”

“Listen” Elain rose. “I think we could be in danger, just get Nesta and don’t tell anyone. Not Azriel, not Cassian, not Rhysand. Please”

A moment later Elain was holding her hand again.

“Feyre, listen to me.” Her voice was so clear and solid she had to obey. “You need to breathe slowly, or you will pass out” She held her face in her small hands. “Listen to me, everything will be okay”

“No, it won’t Elain” She was sobbing, her head was throbbing and her whole body was shaking. “Why would he do this? Why would he make me do this?”

“I don’t know” Elain was trying not to cry.

As if on cue she heard Nyx’s cry from his nursery room.

A second rock, a bigger, more disgusting rock dropped inside her stomach and she looked up at Elain’s face with a horrified expression.

“No” Elain whispered. She shook her head softly. “It couldn’t be” But her brown eyes cleared, and she could see the truth hitting her in the face.

“An heir” She coughed.

Something inside of her snapped, and she stood up, running towards his room. She almost tripped a few times, dodging vases and furniture as she kept going towards the voice of her son crying.

When she finally arrived she almost threw herself at him, picking him up and cradling him in her trembling arms.

Feyre Archeron knew two things. One, the love of her life had lied to her, manipulated her and used her. Two, she would not let anyone take her baby away from her.

Elain caught up to her, Lucien and Nesta trailing behind her with concerned faces.

“Feyre-“ Nesta said, her grey eyes looking at her with such concern it made her want to keep crying. She looked at her older sister straight in the eyes.

“Run” She said and she winnowed.

——

When she arrived in Spring, she didn’t have any time to question herself, question why she had come here, she only had time to hold her baby tight to her body, as if scared someone might rip him away from her at any moment, and started running through the thick foliage of the forest. She knew she was close to the old manor, she had memorized these woods thoroughly.

Her bare feet were aching as she kept going, Nyx crying in her arms as she felt her own tears stream down her face. She was scared and hurt, and she couldn’t stop crying too.

When she finally reached the old manor she halted abruptly as she saw faeries of all kinds stopping whatever they were doing to look at her curiously.

Her chest was rising and falling quickly as she looked at their faces. Fae of all colors, shapes and sizes appeared to be working on the manor, reconstructing it. In that moment she felt the guilt of her past actions hit her like a thunder.

There she was running for help to the place she willingly destroyed, condemned thousands and never looked back. She wanted someone to step up and kill her right then and there. To make her pay. Make it all go away. The fae folk only stared at her some more.

“Feyre Cursebreaker?” One of them said and she couldn’t help a sob.

She shouldn’t be here, she should leave. Go somewhere else, somewhere no one will know.

“Feyre?” A voice soft but low that she knew all too well said from her back. She swirled to look at him, as if she couldn’t help it.

She saw his green eyes first, his tied golden hair second, strands falling on his perfect but sweaty face.

“Tamlin” She choked slightly. She looked down at her baby and then at him again. “I need-I don’t know where else to go and I-we need help” She sobbed, feeling like the worst person, the smallest most pathetic worm in the universe as he approached her slowly, as if scared she may run away, with only deep concern in his emerald gaze. As much as she looked for it, she couldn't find one hint of gloating in his eyes, not a pinch of contempt. She only wanted to crumble down and cry.

When he stepped in front of her, hands up as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them, he steadied a breath.

“What do you need?”

----

The wrath of a High Lord was something Nesta Archeron had been strangely acquainted with by now. When Rhysand snarled in her face, waves of dark power emanating from his tall frame as his muscles rippled, she didn't even flinch. 

“You let her leave” He spat at her, staring her down. “Where is she?”

“I don’t know” She said, but her own anger was already beginning to drown her, she could feel the cold fire tingling in her fingers, waiting, like a snake before it strikes. 

“I said, where is she?!” He screamed, pushing the table that had been between them like it was nothing, making it crash against the wall with a loud thump. She only stared at him, unamused. 

“Rhys, let’s just calm down” Her mate’s voice sounded from her side. Cassian was wincing with each word spoken, unsure what to do, what to say. She tightened her fisted hands, the weight of Ataraxia on her hip comforting her. “I’m sure whatever is going on can be resolved if we all just calm down” 

Feyre had told her to run, but she would be damned before she did that. Nesta Archeron would never cower before a male ever again, she had promised herself that, and this one wasn’t any different, most powerful High Lord or not. Besides, she wanted to be the one to have the pleasure of delivering the news.

“No” She said and both males pinned their eyes on her. She pointed at Rhysand. “He is a liar” She made sure her voice was clear and sharp as Cassian’s eyes only looked more shocked by the second. “He machinated a mating bond with my sister, your so-called High Lady, made her seal a bargain and then made sure she forgot about it” She cocked her head at Rhysand. “Now she knows, and she left you”

Rhysand’s face was suddenly displaying a cold, calculated fury she had the displeasure of knowing too well.

“No, that’s not true, where did you come up with something like that?” Cassian was saying, but her eyes were on the High Lord. When Rhysand didn’t utter a word, Cassian became more agitated. “Rhys, what-” 

“Tell him” She said softly, tenderly, like speaking to a toddler. “Tell him what you did to her. You can also mention all the ways in which you tormented her Under The Mountain, then pretended to be her savior” She savoured the venom in her tongue. 

Shadows sizzled in the corner and she knew Azriel had been listening for a long while.

“Rhys?” Cassian tried, but Rhysand’s violet eyes were fixed on her, weighing what to do, probably planning how to kill her without making Cassian go mad.

“She took my son” He said and the whole house trembled. 

“She took her son” Nesta said. “She died for him, remember?” She was sure he would try to kill her now.

“Rhys tell me this is not true” Cassian was pacing now, his heavy steps reverberating through the wooden floors of the River House. “It cannot be true”

“It is” A melodic voice sounded from her periphery. Azriel. “You did that to her. You made her believe she was your mate? How could you do that?” Azriel’s shadows swarmed him, the anger and betrayal on his face was cold and horrifying.

Rhysand’s eyes left her for a second to look at his favorite subject. “I had no choice”

Nesta scoffed, Cassian ran his hands through his long hair. 

“I will not repeat myself, where is she?” He commanded with such force her body fought to stay still. She straightened. 

“I don’t know, and even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you even if you made him torture me” She pointed at Azriel, who was stiffly looking at his High Lord. Centuries of blind loyalty and undying brotherhood, hanging by a thread, a thread she had no issues in cutting. “I will leave now, and if you try to stop me, I will make you eat shit”

She turned to leave but Cassian held her back. “Wait, Nesta let’s just, let’s hear him out” 

“No” She said. “I don’t give a fuck about his reasons. There is no justification, not this time” She spat. Her mate’s amber eyes were devastated, lost, like he was a stranded child, he looked like he may cry, and she didn’t fault him for that. She tightened her fists again as she fought the urge to simply stay, give in to him and comfort him. But she couldn’t, and Cassian knew it, he was trying to deny it but he knew there was no coming back from this.

She looked at Rhysand one more time and her eyes of steel met the violet fury of his. He disgusted her. “Leave her alone, or I will put you down, and you know I don’t make false promises”

[jellinuy]

୨୧ ₊˚ ੭ ❝long day ?❞

★ The one who . . . comes home dead tired, but whose focus will always be on you. They’ll shrug off their outer layers hastily and meet you at the door, pulling you into a tight squeeze as they breathes in your familiar you smell, sighing into your neck, “How was your day?” It's easy to see how exhausted they are, but nothing could ever stop them from showing their thankfulness for your devotion to him. He smiles, holds you tighter, and ignores any of your protests that he's much too tired right now to dote on you. He's never too tired to dote on you.

CHUUYA, levi, nanami, isagi, kunigami, reo, chigiri, LUCIFER, megumi, kunikida, fukuzawa, kageyama, sugawara, armin, SHANKS, malleus, riddle, jade, rook, silver, any of your faves !!

★ The one who . . . makes it all too clear that the universe was against them today. They come through the door defeated, immediately slumping into your arms with a whine, not even the least bit worried about their dirty shoes on the carpet. They demand to be coddled for the rest of the evening, swaddled in your arms like a newborn and comforted with soft kisses. They make a big show of it, but it's moments when the day has treated them the worst that they can come home expecting the best.

dazai, RANPO, bachira, GOJO, sanji, mikey, hinata, nishinoya, FLOYD, luffy, nami, NAGI, any of your faves !!

★ The one who . . . plays it off as if they aren’t even tired, pretending they don’t know what you're talking about when you complain about the very visible eyebags they’re sporting. They shrug off your worry with a sigh and a sweet kiss on the forehead, allowing themselves to fall into you. Its almost magic, the way you hold them, they think. They’re sure to apologize for making you so concerned before falling asleep in your arms.

ZORO, chuuya, chigiri, azul, deuce, epel, jack, malleus, idia, ferne <3, mikasa, jack, geto, nanami, any of your faves!!

[therethatstar]

*I* raise you Pond cuddling with Phuwin and Parker and Hana.

okay okay alan. i am here. and i see the vision.

pond starts bringing parker over when he comes over to phuwin's place because he wants parker to be familiar with hana. and parker is quite hyper as you would expect a gold retriever to be. but when it comes to sleeping, they find that parker would snuggle up somewhere near phuwin's leg because phuwin sleeps pretty still and pond has a habit of moving alot during his sleep so parker stays the farthest from pond lol

hana is different tho. hana does not like to be held. in general. but especially when she's sleeping. not even by phuwin. and the first few times, hana doesn't even let pond hold her. but turns out, hana was just taking her time getting familiar with pond because by the time she is comfortable around pond, the damn cat is always on pond's lap or anywhere in close proximity to pond. EVEN WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING. suddenly, she always snuggled up in pond's arm when they get ready for bed time. would literally squeeze between pond and phuwin to be held by pond. and sure, phuwin thought it was cute at first. happy to see hana finally warming up to pond. and phuwin hates to admit it. but hana is kind of taking all of pond's attention from him. it's stupid. phuwin knows it's stupid to be jealous of his cat but pond lets him cuddle up to him everytime they spend the night together and these days they're sleeping almost practically at an arm length from each other.

he sort of brings it up to fourth. to which fourth raises his brows at him, "you're not jealous of your cat are you? because that would make you sound ridiculous."

phuwin just stares blankly at him, lips press into a thin line.

"okay, you're fucking jealous cause your boyfriend likes your cat more."

technically they're not boyfriends. phuwin doesn't know what they even are to each other. friends who cuddle? friends who fuck on the regular? friends who get familiar to each other's pets? whatever any of those things mean. but that's beside the point.

"it's not that im jealous. it's just. i rarely get to see him as it is these days. and the only time i get to see him, hana is always in his arms."

phuwin wants to bring up that just the other day, pond came over and he went straight to pick up hana. phuwin can let go of the fact that pond didn't even give him a peck on the lips. and pond ALWAYS does that. but the fact that pond barely spared a glance at phuwin? phuwin doesn't bring that up to fourth tho because he thinks it will really make him sound insane.

"maybe you can bring it up to him?"

"and have him think im insane?"

"look phuwin. i don't know if anyone has ever told you or if you're that oblivious. but pond is pretty fucking insane about you. in case that wasn't clear to you yet. so im pretty sure there's not much you can do to make him think you're more insane about him than he is about you."

phuwin doesn't bring it up to pond tho. even if he thinks about doing so many times. but it's just. how the fuck do you even put something like that into words that doesn't make you sound like you're out of your mind? 'hey i like that you're getting along with my cat so well but like she's kind of getting all of your attention lately so like can you kiss me and hold me to sleep is that too much to ask?'

as they're getting ready for bed, phuwin wraps himself in his blanket and he can feels pond staring at him. he turns to pond, "what?"

"why are you sleeping so far?"

it's only then when he sees that hana is laying somewhere near pond's head.

"hana gets all fussy when she gets squeezed between us."

"well hana isn't between us now. so come here."

"no."

pond looks a little taken back, "no?"

"hold hana. whatever."

pond looks a bit confused at first but his eyes change. like something is clicking for him.

"phuwin, come here."

phuwin only frowns, or maybe he's pouting, he doesn't know. even makes a move to scoot farther.

"no!"

"khun tang. come here before i get to you first."

phuwin scoffs at that. what is pond gonna do if he doesn't? manhandle him like a sack of potatoes?

as a matter of fact, that's exactly what pond did. one breathe and pond moves at the speed of light, scooping phuwin in his arms in no time. he holds phuwin close to him, chest presses to chest, squeezing phuwin so tight, it knocks all of the air out of phuwin's lungs. phuwin tries his best not to hug him back because he's still very much sulking. but that only makes pond hugs him even tighter.

then pond pulls back, before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "you're cute when you're jealous, phuwin."

what a fucking insane thing to say. phuwin is NOT jealous. "and you're not cute when you're delusional."

"over your own cat too."

"i don't know what you're talking about."

"hana is hella of a fluff ball to hug to sleep, i will admit that. but you know who's even more of a fluff ball to hold to sleep?"

phuwin glares at him, "compare me to a fluff ball and you're sleeping on the sofa."

pond curls his lips downward, teasingly, "who said i was gonna say you?"

phuwin pinches the lower of pond's stomach, "think again before you even try to insinuate that you're holding someone else to sleep."

pond whines, laughter bubbles out of him, "oh we're getting aggressive in bed now. are you gonna start biting next? never thought i would be into that. but i could be."

"pond!"

pond laughs out loud, bending down to kiss the frown off of phuwin's lips. then kisses him again. then on his cheek. his other cheek. his nose. his eyes. his forehead. his lips again. deepens it until he feels phuwin responds back.

he pulls after a moment, glancing down at phuwin, lips all red and swollen, eyes widen, "even if i'm not holding you to sleep, i think about holding you to sleep. i think about you all the time, you know that? only you."

and he says it so easily. so casually. like phuwin's world doesn't stop spinning for a moment. like phuwin isn't tipping over into a void. like phuwin's heart rate isn't a racketing mess now. like his chest doesn't feel tight like there is a lack of breath centering around his heart. his gut throbs, heart kicked dumb.

and phuwin's heart feels like it's ten and a hundred and a million sizes too big for his body. for the universe itself, even. because pond is still smiling at him, nothing coy or hint of obnoxious in it, at the edge of shy and so so honest. because pond is not the universe but he looks like he could fit the entirety of phuwin's soft mushed heart inside himself, keep it safe, keep it his.