#IM SICK!!!!!!! I CAN'T TASTE WHAT IM COOKING!!!!!!! THIS IS SUCH BAD TIMING | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pointless-discourse · 8 months ago

Text

hs diet/cooking skills headcandons :3

what would they eat. i prommy im not scrambling for ideas, i am being fully genuine when i say i think about (the majority) of these a lot. disregarding my trans hcs for consistency and to try to reign in my fanon perception and keep it at least semi-accurate

content warning for disordered eating

JOHN EGBERT

eats very well, if a little heavy on the sweets just based on how many are in his vicinity. his dad loves baking. there will be baked goods. despite how sick he gets of sugar, he's gonna nibble.

however, i'm sure his dad knows how to cook and passed that onto john, at least how to follow a recipe

i think john would be a recipe follower most of the time tbh

living with nanna on the ship wouldn't significantly alter his skills

maybe with all that free time he'd start to improv more in the kitchen?

anyway, he is a good cook and is probably going to end up cooking for his disaster friends a lot because he is a charming young man

well not really? like he'll be on it in a pinch if he's asked too, or immediately reminded that his friends can't fucking cook, but she, in typical egbert fashion, will remain doing her own thing a lot of the time

charming young june gets tradwife'd ig

fuck i transed her . oopsie

DAVE STRIDER

we've seen that his fridge is full of smuppets and he hides his food, so his stash is small and is made up of foods that don't need to be refrigerated

texan heat is def a catalyst for that rot

his stash is also made of cheap, low quality food, because i doubt he's getting a lot of money

just an assortment of non-ingredient food like apples and mcdonands

this is on the hypothesis that bro gives dave food money or dave's somehow monetized his skills

if bro is providing this food, it's probably semi-often paywalled behind weird shit or swordfights

TLDR: he likely doesn't have a consistent supply either. enough to sustain some muscle so he can live up to what we've seen in comic, but he's underweight

you think he'll learn to cook on the meteor? wrong. why learn to cook when you can alchemize? what's the point of alchemizing the ingredients for a PB&J and then assemble it when you can just magic up a sandwich?

he cannot cook. he will burn the water. the only appliance he can use is a microwave, and that is iffy in itself because, until he gets the hang of it, will leave a slightly lukewarm hamburger in there for ten minutes

JADE HARLEY

plants. a lot of plants.

freshest thing near her. everything else she has to get through the airplane mail.

she'd forget to eat for a day or two, and then wonder why she's so hungry and then eat enough to feed a family of three. horses. three horess

she lost her grandpa at a young age and then was raised by a dog, so i doubt her eating habits are completely normal

she eats like a dog. jade does not use silverware because she does not like doing dishes. all food is finger food if you're not afraid.

what she eats is of very high quality. if she remembers to eat and can prepare her food correctly, she'll do fine.

on that topic, she's not a bad cook. her chem know-how would help her estimate what would work. but she's never had another person interact with her cooking, so it's lacking a lot of stuff.

research can get her cooking close to the real thing, but it's still mediocre. she doesn't even know what she's missing, because she's never known anything else.

she has a lot of weird tastes that can only come from an insane amount of time to kill. i'm talking mustard everywhere.

john and nanna might be able to reign her in a bit? they would definitely help her improve her cooking skills. watching her eat, there would still be something off about her.

however, she can cook for herself, and it tastes kinda good.

ROSE LALONDE

like john in that she had someone there who would cook for her.

mom lalonde is very absent, but she's still on top of things. she responds to rose's notes. she vaccums. she would still cook for rose on a regular basis, give or take a few off weeks.

that cooking would not be good, because she's wasted whilst making it.

even if the food was good, rose wouldn't admit it.

she often makes a show of pecking at her food, but still eats.

unlike john, mom never showed rose how to cook. rose never asked.

when she gets to the meteor, like dave, she alchemizes all the food she needs. there has never been a reason for her to learn how to cook.

she could probably put effort in and, with strife, successfully follow a recipe, but she is a horrible cook. she does not understand it for the life of her, and she won't until she studies it

she'll master it. eventually.

JANE CROCKER

like june. their upbringings are very similar.

one exception is that she cooks more and is a much better cook than she is because jane genuinely cares about it.

she also has some mad pastry skills.

jane can make macarons.

she would attempt to teach her disaster friends to cook, but would quickly lose patience.

and then she would try to cook for them, but get sick of it a meal in. they are very picky and her temper is not long

DIRK STRIDER

survives purely off rations/canned food

again, dave's food is fuel mindset extends to him and he can stomach a lot of "gross" things, like an entire can of peanut butter. i may have mentioned that before, so i'll give you some PD lore. i have eaten an entire jar of peanut butter out of hunger and i think about that event a lot because it was not nice for my tastebuds

however, i think as a control freak he would be adamant about his food schedule, even mathing out the amount of calories he would need to consume for every meal proportional to what he does in a day

and then a half-hearted attempt to balance out protiens, fats, minerals, and the other stuff

he is very adamant about his schedule and consuming the food he needs to survive, but that schedule is fucked

ex. 3 cans of canned peaches for breakfast at 3:50 in the morning. two large, burnt mutated fish for dinner at noon. no lunch. or eats half a can of peaches for the twenty hours he is awake in a day.

he can cook, as in prepare meat to be consumed alright. it's edible, and it's not that bad. but he is assed at combining ingredients. he cannot create something successful. all his food tastes like shit because he does not pick up on taste. though, i believe if he was cooking for someone else, he could set aside a few days and come up with something that's high-tier in the mediocre range.

JAKE ENGLISH

he eats only the meat of the beasts he's killed. he has scurvy.

he is a good cook (in the sense that he can competently prepare meat) though, and genuinely cares about the quality of the food he makes for the sake of his taste buds, and cooking is something he can get lost in

however: he has insane tastes. he is an expert in preparing food in this hyper-unique way that he is insane for but is absolutely disgusting to anyone else

ex. after years of eating similar tasting meat, he was motivated to use seasoning. he does not own seasoning. he is going insane and cannot eat the same thing again. he uses dirt. tastes bad, but god he is dying for something new after x years of eating the same thing for breakfast lunch and dinner. he continues to eat it because he cannot eat unseasoned meat anymore and repetition-causes-complacency's himself into genuinely enjoying the taste of dirt.

dirt is just the tip of the iceberg

jake is also unintentionally bulking (bodybuilders eat a lot of meat to gain muscle). he eats a lot of protien. however, he hasn't herd of the concept of 'cuts' (where you stop eating as much to let the muscles show) so he has a bit of a tummy

but also, he's sixteen so he's not a fridge. i also don't see him as that tall (huss draws him as shorter than dirk anyay huehuehue) but he has muscle if you look. twunk if anything

ROXY LALONDE

genuinely horrid diet

so zoned out and depressed she barely recognizes her own hunger and even then has no drive to do anything about it

will eat sugary stuff for the happy chemicals

roxy is the one trans headcanon i have where i am completely unable to distinguish it from canon

she is trans in my head. that is as much a part of her to me as her love for cats is

anyway like a lot of trans women she's pressured to be petite and small in her portion choices so even when she has the drive to eat i dont think its a lot

because of her likely not weighing a lot shes a lightweight

part one million on how is roxy not dead yet

and as expected, she cannot cook

she also has some really weird tastes

she is really good at baking a few specific sweets that she eats on repeat (with a lot of recipes from jane)

once she enters the medium and works on her drinking problem i think her eating problems would also get less intensive

not drinking as much she has to face her hunger more

and being around jane, a big gal, face to face, i think that would do something to her idea that to be a woman she has to be small

KARKAT VANTAS

troll rations

not only is he poor so no money for all the nice stuff i also dont think troll society has a big focus on cooking

their only main professions are military based and art doesn't seem to be a big focus, just a highblood thing

again probably some nasty cheap ration bars that keep him alive

but i do think he eats regularly and normal amounts, he has that fighting spirit to stay alive and get stronger

but yeah i don't think troll society would require you to put a lot of effort into culinary stuff. but he can prepare the food well

the meteor inspired no one to cook, but he'd get the hang of human food and probably enjoy it as compared to tasteless lowblood troll slop

humanstuck karkat is a kid chef. he is so fucking good at cooking. baking too.

ARADIA MEGIDO

mmmmm yummy troll slop

same as karkat

ghost aradia didnt need to eat anyway so i doubt that would've affected her diet habits

same with got tiger aradia? don't think she would bother with it, too much else to do

but once she starts hanging around in the dreambubbles, exposed to non-troll slop cusine, she'd have a fun time trying to learn how to cook and delight in all those new flavors

then when she gets to earth c she's a good cook who loves cooking

TAVROS NITRAM

i dont have any headcanons fro tavros because is hate him

sorry tavros fans

uhh he probably eats POOP!!! and LIKES IT!!! because he TAVROS!!!

SOLLUX CAPTOR

troll-slop-enjoyer, but also likes aradia's cooking

humanstuck sollux survives purely off doritos and g-fuel

NEPETA LEJION

utter chad

survives solely off the giant beasts she kills herself

ripped yet still small and nimble

her diet is entirely protein

no troll slop for her

unfortunately for her, this means missing out on non protiens and fats

nepeta has scurvy

humanstuck nepeta is less feral and also eats cute japanese cat themed sweets

KANAYA MARYAM

dont know if it was stated in canon but she would garden alongside eating troll slop

blood

yumy blood

roses blood

you would not believe it from looking at her but humanstuck kanaya eats a lot of spicy food and has a horrifically high spice tolerance

she's also pretty good at cooking, mediocre at baking

TEREZI PYROPE

?????? chalk???????

hopefully alongside the slop

either that or troll chalk is really nutritious

VRISKA SERKET

despite technically being a highblood i doubt she'd engage in their fancy food

she eats to survive, not for the taste

she may have access to higher quality sludge though

i think this part of her would persist, but she does love june's cooking

EQUIUS ZAHHAK

pure, distilled protien and milk

so much milk

its not 2%, not 3.25%, it's 100% milk

he suckles it straight from the moobeast teat

it is really weird and he does not get invited to parties

gigachad

humanstuck equius's diet is 1/4 food and 3/4 protien shakes, bars, and the like

he'd probably also be like those bodybuilding influencers who eat eggs raw or camel nutsacks

GAMZEE MAKARA

similar to roxy in that he's too checked out to remember to eat

but what he does have as a highblood is insanely high quality

sober gamzee does not require any sustenance to survive in a similar fashion as to how he got shot down by caliborn and was fine afterwards

humanstuck gamzee can bake. he cannot cook. he has the diet of an insane college student, ramen cups interspersed with weed brownies

occasionally he gets the munchies and eats enough to feed four full grown goku

i like thinking that someone realized he wasn't doing alright tried to help him, maybe roxy? in a universe where he didn't get lil cal'd

ERIDAN AMPORA

only the finest fish food for him

he dines like a king

he projectile vomits when in a 50 mile radius of the sludge

agile, but weak

doesn't cook, has other people do it for him

humanstuck eridan has a private chef and is offended if you expect him to cook for himself

FEFERI PEIXES

finest fish food for her, dines like a queen

but also attempts to live like the normies once and a while

and take a bite of the (highblood edition) slop

humanstuck fef also has a private chef but helps out in the kitchen from time to time

gonna b real dawgs, i cannot concieve of the dancestors in this manner. peace

25 notes · View notes

puss-in-boots-bf · 1 year ago

Text

answering all of these because im so "normal" about him

(puss in boots f/o btw)

right now i have the build a bear plushie so as long as i have that i feel like i'm with him

i heard people talking about the last wish like a month after release and i thought "hm maybe i should check this out" and it was downhill from there. BEAUTIFUL movie btw top tier cinema puss in boots 1 was not as good unfortunately 💔 still more puss content i can't be mad. i liked him in the shrek movies too but he has less screentime

ok firstly the accent i CANT get over it its so sdsfksdfklkjkjfdsg................second probably his face. his stupid little cute face i want to look at all day

puss cannot get over how lovey dovey i am with him and he tries to hide it but i know the truth. he's not even good at hiding it i see you covering your face with your hat everyone knows

idk why 1-4 repeat after the cut but more questions for me yayayayya

1. i love him so much i just squeeze the life out of him every time i see him. bear hug him forever and ever. puss on the other hand much more acts of service and he'll give me a lil peck on the cheek or the forehead sometimes

2. i'd LOVE to give him just like a tiny good luck charm he can put on his belt so he has something to remember me by if he's ever out without me. puss would give me a souvenir every time i couldn't come with on an adventure

3. we celebrate all the major holidays and just have fun hanging out with each other. we always have matching halloween costumes and on christmas puss likes doing the thing with mistletoe where he holds it above us if we're close and is like "we're under the mistletoe you know what that means" and honestly? not complaining. if anything please continue

4. he's a cat!! he purrs whenever he's asleep and it gets me to bed so quickly... and then he always waits for me to wake up after him in the morning (i am not a morning person. he is and he has to wait like a couple hours cus he doesn't wanna wake me up early 😭😭)

5. i am a math wiz, puss doesn't know what 2+2 is. unfortunately to make up for this i have like no adventuring experience and i wanna go with him so bad :( but puss tries his best to train me so that one day we can conquer the world together!

6. we're basically opposites in fashion taste, puss loves his hat and boots and not saying i don't love it too but i don't like the concept of me wearing it 😅the one thing we agree on is that capes (cloaks in my case) look sick as hell. food wise puss will eat anything i am extremely picky and anytime i don't like a food he will go all "what how could you not like [food]?!??!" every time without fail

7. puss has always been the more talkative one and it shows. whenever puss is feeling down i just let him talk at me and if i'm ever feeling down he asks me so many questions about what happened it's almost overwhelming. what we share in common is that we both LOVE hugs and will just hug it out all the time

8. i don't really have a rival f/o... i guess maybe death? but puss kinda made up with him already and it's not like death is going to be here any time soon

9. i actually really like how he is in canon 😭 i love him the way he is i wouldn't change a thing about him (well excluding one headcanon which is...)

10. puss being bisexual is so real and so funny to me. who cares if you're a man or woman if you're hot i'm flirting with you

11. it's amazing but i might be biased since puss is here... puss usually does all the cooking because i'm so picky i just don't know food. i do most of the cleaning cus he does so much for me and i'll try to stop him from helping me if he ever offers cus i don't want him doing even more... in the downtime between us doing anything we'll usually just sit down and cuddle with each other ❤️fortunately he doesn't have a "job" to go to, since he's a hero the city lets him live here for basically free. puss gets enough money from just appearing in public to afford everything we need for months. though he will go on the occasional adventure every couple weeks

12. dirt. its literally just dirt and nothing else. he keeps going on adventures and getting dirty and he'll come home just covered in dirt. but if there's ever an important occasion he has a cologne he picked out with me that smells like cinnamon

13. he hasn't actually changed much since the events of the last wish! still does all the good ol showoffy stuff whenever he's in public, you really can only tell he changed whenever it gets real dangerous.

14. puss is extremely extroverted and outgoing and i am very much not. he keeps trying to take me on outings and tries to get me to be a little more vocal and it's kinda working!! baby steps! but something we both have in common is that we're both unorganized (though him more than me)... we always try to sort everything out at the house but neither of us can bother 😭 we're used to it though so it's a non-issue

15. puss gets really heated but can usually calm himself, i am not good with conflict at ALL but puss tries to help me calm down too. it works, i mean how can i be mad with this lovely cat in front of me?? though on the rare occasion i'm really passionate about something i will not back down and puss eventually either gives in or tries the cute eyes thing... it usually works...... i mean, how am i supposed to resist that????

16. puss introduced me to imelda (his caretaker at the orphanage he grew up) and she was lovely! she even showed me cute pictures of puss back when he was a baby 🤭 aside from that i've met team friendship too! perrito was nice and kitty joked around with puss about us a lot

17. ok lore speedrun i only knew puss through folktales/legends etc. and i heard about a party he was supposed to be throwing nearby that was really soon. i decided to go and i was OBSESSED. i knew he was cool, but somehow he managed to be even cooler than i thought. this is probably where the crush started but i didn't recognize it at the time. i would've gone to every party he threw in the country but i knew he came to this town pretty often, so i just went to the ones here. after a while i managed to get close to him and ask him if i might be able to go on an adventure with him. it was all i wanted at the time, even if it was a mini adventure or something. at first he said he couldn't or his schedule was full or whatever, but i was so desperate i kept asking and asking... and somehow it worked. he told me maybe, but he'd need more time to figure something out. a couple days later i got a letter saying that he decided i could go with him on one small thing he had planned that wouldn't take too much time, and i was ecstatic to say the least. however it mentioned i would need some training first and gave me a spot to meet up. i got a whole get up and a weapon so i would be prepared for the training and after we stopped, puss said it would be easier if i stayed in town for a while so we could get training earlier. a couple days of training later i finally confessed, and after the mini adventure i was supposed to leave but he caught feelings too... we've been dating ever since :)

18. my favorite will always be the shrek canon/last wish canon timeline but i still love taopib puss. f/o wise i treat them differently but comfort character wise it's still puss and he's still silly ❤️ i also really like puss dos from taopib. not in a f/o way but he's so autism you can't hate him (ignore that puss dos isn't actually puss he's a genetic clone technically but IT STILL COUNTS!!!)

19. coolness factor alone the blind king (taopib spoilers if it matters) takes the cake. the blindfold is just mwah chefs kiss but i think i just really like blindfolds for some reason. original puss is still the best one though i wouldn't want a blindfold covering those glittering green eyes of his

20. i confessed first but only because i thought he did 😭 he was being playful flirty like when you don't really mean it but i didn't pick up on that and it just came pouring out... nothing really happened for a little while until one day we made eye contact and went silent. i think he got feelings for me, or he realized the feelings he already had, or something, but i could tell something changed. we just... kissed. it wasn't a lot, just for a second, but... it felt like the world had stopped. nothing mattered except the two of us right there, right then. and it felt perfect.

21. i think his feelings were more spur of the moment rather than long lasting, so no one really knew

22. skip cus hes my only f/o 😶

23. i love fluff i cannot get enough of fluff i will never stop imagining him kissing me on the forehead saying i love you right before he leaves the house leaving me awestruck in his beauty. sucker for hurt/comfort too but mostly the comfort part i don't like thinking about the hurt part

24. who hasn't? but also not this early on i'd have to wait a couple years minimum before i consider it

25. skipping cus i can plan that later

26. as i said before it's a big house, renaissance era (since the last wish is in the 17th century), puss lived here before me so most of the decor is whatever he chose. most of it is just trophies and awards he's earned though... but he does have a cat tower there too! it's comfy can't blame him

27. not really. never been much of a kid person myself, and puss already has perrito, so neither of us are interested.

28. it was a day or two after his "confession." the morning after i was just... dumbfounded by what happened before, but puss took a bit off to collect his thoughts. after we reconvened to talk about what we were i told him i loved him no matter what. i think it flustered him and he got all stammery but he managed an i love you too. i could tell the idea of a relationship was kinda rough for him, it was for me as well, but he warmed up to it after a little.

29. it would be so extraordinarily funny if he was 100% gay. 100% man liker. but still a lady killer. like all the girls are fawning over this man and he's just "oh sorry i'm not into women." bi puss is canon but gay puss is dream cone true

30. if somehow cuddling isn't enough he'll tell stories about adventures he's had. let me tell you god DAMN is he a great storyteller!! it always gets me hyped up without fail + i get to hear more of his voice what's to complain about

31. you cant make me do this. you cant make me choose i cant. why would you do this to me

32. thank god this one has an answer, his voice. it's something otherworldly, i just can't describe it. everytime i hear him speak it's so calming, soothing, oh my goooood i just love it so much i could listen to him forever

33. i had to look through tv tropes for this. puss is the energetic one except whenever i get really excited about something and puss has to listen to me ramble for an hour about it because i refuse to shut up

34. "uhh, erm... i dunno! i never counted. i am not really a math guy, y'know?" if you count literally any shrek film i'm lying but pretend i'm not

35. me and it's not even close. i WILL zone out and blush and smile every single time i think of his face and i'm not ashamed to say it

36. see above i still get surprised whenever he hugs me from behind. you know what you're doing stop (don't stop i love it)

37. puss does this everyday and thinks it's actually kinda underwhelming meanwhile i am curled up fetal position on the floor

38. we don't really use nicknames, actually. well sometimes i'll call him "stabby tabby" or one of his other aliases, sometimes he'll call me "mi amor" but most of the time we just use names

39. my contact name for him would just be "puss❤️" his contact name for me is probably like. Firstname Lastname he is not good with technology at all

40. again this man could not operate a phone if the instructions were printed out and given to him. he only uses it for texting and calling. every once in a while he'll send me a picture of something he found cool and text "Look" "Do you like it"

41. my favorite memory is probably just discovering him. the sheer joy of finding something to love, something to be unabashedly excited about... i wish i could do it all again

42. he wasn't particularly physically affectionate before but he knows i love it when he is so he tries his best to show it whenever he can

43. i have walked in on him doing catnip before and i know that was not at all embarrassing for him because he literally asked me if i wanted any

44. puss keeps trying to have an "honorable duel" with people and they literally never accept

45. my first impressions were that he was sick af and just the best person ever. his first impressions of me, he probably gets a bunch of fans like that i'd honestly understand if he was just taking pity on me with the adventure stuff😭

46. no lore reason for it but i like the idea of my birthday since it's close enough to when i discovered pib and i think just being with him is the best gift i could ever receive

47. i would like to speak to my lawyer

48. nothing really. i guess sometimes we'll go out and he's more focused on me than he usually is on whatever's going on around him but i think that's it

49. he still flinches every time he hears a whistle :((((

50. just a tiny lil "i love you" and a kiss everyday ❤️❤️

51. skip cus 43 repeat

52. he probably laughs at dad jokes honestly. probably thinks "why did the chicken cross the road" is a knee slapper

53. sometimes i tease him with the pickles thing i find it funny but he doesnt 💔

54. puss is a deep sleeper so if i ever need to wake him up i'll shake him a bit until he gets up. he is much more gentle with me though since i'm more of a light sleeper so i'll usually wake up if he just rocks me for a second or two

55. on the weekdays we train together (it's more like him teaching me but yk) cus i'm trying to go on more adventures but puss says i'm not strong enough 😭

56. perrito thinks we're cute and ok honestly? i don't know how kitty would react at all i'm still trying to figure out how she would fit in with the ship lore since if me and puss are together her arc is weird in the last wish, especially with the whole wedding thing/the ending

57. skip cus he's my only f/o again

58. doing dream merch since dream experience is literally just "what if he was real" anyways ideally i mean. puss in boots everything. but also there's a few things i want specifically: licensed/official cosplay (hat, cape, boots, belt, whatever), actual functional rapier with the puss in boots design + gatito blade, and not very realistic with this last one but i want a version of the build a bear plush that will actually just never break down or fall apart. also with an easier way to keep the hat on!! the hat can't attach to anything so it has to rest on his ear but it falls off super easy cus of that

59. gahhhhhh i dont like talking about it too much cus it makes me sad to think about it at all........... but i'll say he's a lot quieter. he goes from this extremely outgoing cat we all know and love to just... silence. maybe some muttering... AAAAAAAAAAHHH OK i cant talk about this anymore i dont want to think about it ever :(((((((((((((

60. silly*6

61. 😼⚔️ that's it. that's the emojis

62. assuming i get to be my s/i if i go there i'd absolutely go to his world in a heartbeat. if he came here i would definitely be under government supervision he's a walking talking cat

63. i like ship lore but it isn't too fleshed out since irl i haven't really known about selfshipping before a few weeks ago (i still had the romantic feelings for WAAAY longer tho)

64. again it's not fully fleshed out and i'm actually stuck on how i should design it... all i know is he'll be a black cat. i wanted to do a whole grim reaper kind of fit like scythe and cloak wtv since i like a bunch of characters with that kind of motif (see: Testament Guilty Gear) but then i felt like "oh it's too similar to death that's probably weird" since i want the whole thing to take place after TLW but if i underdesign my s/i it'll feel like kitty kind of but i don't know what to put and its just sdklgfhjslkdhgjklsjdglk aaaaaaaaaaaaaa.............. aside from character design i literally made up the ship lore writing this post for the most part. mostly the details but i had some general idea of what i wanted, i just thought the training idea was cute ❤️ as for other characters i'm good friends with perrito now and sometimes i'll just talk about puss with him for hours and he's always so happy for us

65. my s/i is literally Just Me except a cat also. oh and he knows spanish and tagalog. spanish for talking with puss, tagalog cus i wish i knew it irl. but since it's an s/i i get to do character development that would otherwise not happen irl 🙏 so like a little bit not me but mostly Just Me

66. AU's are cute but they really do feel like an alternate universe. i imagine myself dating in canon but AU's are kinda like a "what if"

67. hug him and hold onto him forever and never let go

68. it's the shrek universe i'm not even sure they're superstitions anymore. they're probably real. black cats being a symbol of bad luck is unironically canon in taopib like

69. he'd buy so much matching stuff and he would say "if we're a team we need matching uniforms" and. he's right. i wear literally all of them

70. his theme song is "fearless hero" take a guess

71. mostly outdoorsy stuff, if he didn't like it he wouldn't have been an adventurer, but also he likes music a lot. wrote fearless hero himself, actually! sometimes he'll make a song about us and play it just for me ❤️

72. the star shape ⭐ it reminds me of the wishing star

73. nothing that i can think of rn... now that i think about it he doesn't really "hate" anything

74. i don't really know if it has a name, but i'm particular to starry night skies. some of the best scenes in the last wish have the night sky visible and it makes puss look even prettier

75. he is combat trained guess who isn't!

76. puss is for the most part just living his best life now, but i want to eventually be on puss's level of adventuring and heroism. maybe a little less focused on public image i just like the fighting bad guys part

77. this is in taopib btw but there's so much i'm just gonna talk abt them all. ok so in s1e15 puss gets cursed with bad luck which turns him into a black cat so he has to leave san lorenzo, but then he finds a ragtag group of other black cats who try to convince him the curse is permanent and for him to join them (cus they're lonely :(). that's just the synopsis but for some reason black cats have luck manipulation???? not typical luck manipulation but they say they can manipulate bad luck and turn it into lucky energy in a "lucky blast" that's more of an attack than actual probability manipulation. puss learns it eventually but he wants more so the cats make up a move and puss, having Main Character Syndrome, manages to be THE ONLY CAT ON EARTH TO HAVE DONE THE MOVE?????????? also the actual group of black cats is silly the main one is normal but the other two, one of them speaks in shakespearian and is implied to have a crush on puss (HE JUST LIKE ME!! HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!) and the other one only repeats what other people say like tommy from animal crossing ❤️ god i love this show idc how bad the animation is or how forced puss/dulcinea is. they just made everyone a silly guy and it's amazing. there's so much more lore i could talk about in taopib cus there's 6 seasons but Main Character Syndrome is really funny to me so that's what i put here

78. 🤔

79. i do not know what this question means 🤗

80. 😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😁😁😁😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😚😚😚😚😚😚😍😍😘😘😘😘A:KSDFJKJSADKLGKJSDKHGLDFLJH

I LOVE HIM SO MUCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok that's all the questions if u read this far i apologize for writing a bajillion paragraphs i just love him so much 💔 pls understand

and pictures of some of the taopib characters i mentioned before i go cus theyre silly too (puss dos and the black cats)

yes he wears a paper hat don't bully him!!! 😠

the one with the crush on puss is Francisco/red hat btw he was so real for that

ok bye thanks for looking at how much i love this fictional cat

80+ selfship questions to answer, whether in a post* or a reblog! feel free to pick the ones you want to answer or just answer for all – this is not an ask game :3

a few of these are romantic, but ofc, there are ones you can answer for your platonics!

* if you do it as a post i’d loveeeee if you tagged me so i could see your answers!

what’s something you do to feel closer to them? fanfics, listen to songs, etc.

how did you get introduced to your f/o and/or their media? do you like their source?

what’s one or two things you especially like about your f/o? can be a headcanon!

what’s one or two things your f/os love about you? ( self positivity time babey )

how do you express your love to them? how do they express their love to you?

a gift you’d like to give them if you could, and something they’d give to you!

what do you celebrate together? like halloween, christmas time, easter, etc.

do you sleep together? is it peaceful or filled with snoring? do you both stay up? tell us more! ( how you sleep, when you sleep, do you wake up at the same time? )

what’s one thing you can’t do well that the other can, vice versa ( e.g cooking, playing video games, so on and so forth )

do you have similar tastes in fashion? aesthetic? food? tell us about their taste!

how do they tend to comfort you? how do you tend to comfort them?

if you have a rival or nemesis f/o, why? are there any lore reasons or is it just because?

what are some uncommon headcanons you have for them?

what is your favorite fan theory/headcanon about them?

if you live together, how’s domestic life like for you both?

do you have any scent hcs for them? ( sweet, something like coffee, etc )

is there anything commonly misunderstood about your f/o?

one thing you don’t have in common, and one thing you do

how do you resolve conflicts? how do you both typically react when faced with conflict or whilst dealing with an argument?

have you met their friends/family? how did that go? do they even keep in contact with their friends/family?

tell us as much (or as little) as you'd like about any of your self ship lore/bg! the timeline!

if they have variations (timelines, skills, voiced languages, etc) which one is your favorite?

your favorite outfit/costume of theirs! if they don’t have any official skins or anything, show us something you think they’d look good in!

who confessed first and how did it go?

did anyone know about your f/o’s feelings before they confessed? how did they find out?

if you have multiple f/os, do they fit into any “type?” ( e.g coincidentally they’re all smartasses, blonde, villains, etc. lol )

do you have any favorite scenarios you like to imagine your f/os in? ( domestic fluff, angsty, etc. )

have you ever thought about ( platonic or not ) marriage? would you consider it a good idea? why or why not?

^ if you're planning to get married, then tell us all about your wedding! the honeymoon! the planning!

if you live together, how does your home look like? who decided on the decor?

do you, or plan to, have f/o kids? ( pets and plants count! ) bonus: if you have pets, do they show any favoritism?

what was it like when they first said ‘i love you’? how did you reply? where was it?

if you could make one thing 100% canon about them, what would it be?

how do you kill time with them when bored?

your favorite thing about your f/o, appearance wise

your favorite thing about your f/o, non-appearance wise

what’s your dynamic like? any tropes you fit?

the most iconic/memed on/quoted line or event associated with your f/o

who’s more likely to be the sappy, cheesy romantic in the relationship?

who gets flustered the easiest?

if you were in an emergency or stressful situation, which one of you’s the best at staying level headed keeping the other calm? who is the one absolutely freaking out?

what nicknames do you call each other?

with phones or modern au : what would your contact names be?

with phones or modern au : how do they use their phone? do they have a billion screenshots in their gallery? whats their wallpaper?

favorite memory involving them ( whether in your lore as a scenario, a scene from their media, or another physical experience like when you received merch etc )

are they physically affectionate? if so, how do they express it? vice versa!

any funny or awkward moments you've experienced with them?

who’s more likely to get into, or start fights? whether with each other or with others.

what were your first impressions of each other?

do you have an anniversary date? how was it decided & how do you (plan to) celebrate it?

.... would you still love them if they turned into a worm

how did their personality or lifestyle change after befriending/getting with you?

something you know about them, that many others don’t?

how do they reassure or affirm their love for you?

what’s your funniest or most embarrassing memory together?

what’s their sense of humor like? how easy is it to make them laugh?

what inside jokes do you share?

if necessary, how do you wake them up? how do they wake you up?

any daily routines or habits you two follow?

what do others in source say about your relationship? do you keep it a secret?

if you have more than one f/o from the same media, which one were you drawn to first? any lore connection like did they introduce you to the others? did one make you fall for the other?

dream piece of merchandise or f/o-related experience you’d like to have

how are they like when vulnerable?

describe your f/o in 6 words or less

describe your f/o using only emojis

would you rather go to their world, or have them come to yours?

do you care about ship lore? feel free to tell us about it if you’d like!

if you have a s/i, how’d you go about creating their design? what went into their lore? how do the others in the source feel about your s/i?

does your s/i hold similarities to you, is completely like you or completely different from you? do you even have a s/i?

thoughts on AUs/canon divergent things? do you prefer to stick as closely to canon as possible or no?

quick! your f/o’s just spawned in front of you, now what do you do?!

do they have any superstitions they believe in?

would you or your f/o ever get matching things? ( keychains, tattoos, shirts, etc ) do they find it cringy or cute?

who’s more the scaredy cat out of you two?

what kind of things is your f/o into? games, music, decor, whatever!

the most random thing you associate with your f/o (foods, shapes, even textures! anything that’s not an obvious)

anything your f/o absolutely hates, but you absolutely love?

any aesthetic or -core you associate with your f/o, whether it be due to their design or personality?

who's more likely to die first in a zombie apocalypse lol

do your f/os have any long term wishes or goals? what about your s/i?

your favorite f/o fun fact or bit of lore

which animal represents your f/o the best?

does your f/o run hot or cold?

free space to gush about whatever you want ♡

#selfship questions #self ship questions #questions #ship lore #s/i lore #s/i

425 notes · View notes

noroifish · 1 year ago

Text

in her house, in her lap

in megumi's house, with my head on her lap, it feels like we've known each other our entire lives, with our entire lives left.

IS THIS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO NOT BE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN RUNNING THE RUN, RUNNING UNTIL THERE'S NO MORE "FUN" running to tears, tears running down my face, but no one can fucking see a big man cry that's PATHETIC, that's faggotry, that's Fucking Sick, pussy ass bitch.

but in megumi's house none of that happens and i wasn't beaten to dick.

her house smells faintly of sweet citrus candles, like sour melon candy, and faintly of cooked eggs.

i lie with my head in her lap, the rest of my body stretched out on her tiny couch, long limbs just sprawled over it. her hand combs through my hair and i moan a little as she scratches my scalp with her nails and tickles the back of my ears.

megumi, is it always like this?

"what do you mean, kitten?"

"oh i wasn't...i didn't want to say...that...fuck..."

"it isn't, though. like this. usually."

"what do YOU mean?"

"i'm not used to this, either, this...you melted. you ooped right into my lap. i didn't have to do anything. i'm not even wearing my sexy clothes. i'm wearing my unsexy jacket and pants buttoned all the way up and down, and you're here wearing a shirt so thin i can see your nipples."

"hey, they're nice nipples."

"can i touch them?"

i laugh. "only if you want me to get hard."

"what if i said i did?"

"did what?"

my cock stirs, and i turn my head so i'm breathing open-mouthed into her crotch, which is beginning to bulge at the zip of her dark navy slacks.

"want to get you hard."

"thought you said you weren't going to fuck me today."

"never said you couldn't fuck yourself. god, kitten, you're so hot for it. we can talk and fuck at the same time, can't we? and you won't run away? you'll be good for me, won't you, girl, and you won't run away?"

"fuh-fuck."

i'm fully hard now, my fucking boner pointing like some pathetic little piece i can't get rid of but now don't want to. i writhe, rubbing my thighs, squirming in her lap.

"oh, kitten...you're so hot for it. you go down so easy."

"me-megumi...fuck, please, can i? can i suck your cock. please? i really, i really want to, fuck, god, what are you doing to me, i want, i want it so bad. please can i suck your cock? you'll let me?"

"mhm, go ahead."

like a rampaging cock-hungry fucking beast gagging for it, i undo her zip and fish her cock out of her panties (FUCK SHE'S WEARING SILK PANTIES SHE GOT FUCKING DRENCHED, THE WET SPOT, FUCK, im stealing these), and i pull her pants off so she'll be more comfortable, tossing them to the side, but i leave her panties on, running my hands all down her smooth, white legs, sucking hard marks on her thighs that'll sting like strawberries in the morning.

i dont want her to forget me.

i suck her through her panties, the smooth, starry expanse of the expensive black-and-white patterned silk so smooth on my tongue, and so delicious, tasting her through it, sucking and sucking. the weight, the heft of her on my tongue feels so fucking GOOD, it's hard to think, i shove her panties to the side and then throat her, sucking her as far as i can until her cockhead is bullying the back of my throat, and her breath picking up, her soft moans, the way she's stroking my hair so, so gently, petting, as if i were a tiny, tiny kitten after all.

it feels so fucking good to suck her, the taste of it is exquisite, it's so dirty, the dark salt and the bitter tang of sweat, i pop off to bite her thighs some more, trembling with sweat, rubbing my palm across her smooth, tight abdomen that jumps and twitches as i lave my tongue over the bites on her thighs, already turning ripe red.

she guides my head back to her cock, pulling me down, and i suck and suck, covering my hand with what i can't swallow down, fucking gag reflex. (fucking trauma reflex from vomiting after being made to take it. like a fucking cockdoll. like a machina designed for nothing but to fuck and be fucked.)

but it makes me good at this, her breaths getting heavier, my cock jumping in tune with her panting.

"open your pants," she says.

in order to open them i have to peel them fucking off my sweaty ass, fucking pleather ass good for nothing spandexing shit, i wasn't fucking wearing underwear because they're too tight, they'll show an outline, and megumi licks her lips upon her correct premonition i was bare dick naked underneath.

"touch yourself," she says.

i shake my head. i want her to finish first. if i touch myself i'll cum instantly.

"oh?" she laughs, breathily. "can you cum without it?"

i nod like a good dog, a good girl.

"puppy," she moans.

"you know, i'm not a good person," she says, moaning, pressing my head down on her cock.

i pull off to bite her thighs, helplessly mute with desire.

she guides me back to her cock.

"if i was a good person we wouldn't be doing this," she says. "i should have said no. i should have, i wanted to say no, but you...fuck, you look so good, you're so fucking cute, and you're so gentle andー"

i shake my head the best i can, but she just pushes me back down, stroking my short peach hair.

"i saw you so eager, with your head in my lap, tail wagging, and i, i couldn't, i couldn't, i can't say no, i fucking WANT you too bad, you're like some kind of curse, you're so...gorgeous, and sexy, and so...i don't know the word for it, but you're so easy to read. i love that, that you're easy to read, easy for me, you want to please so, so much..."

the praise makes my cock jump, splurting wet at the head, but i haven't cum yet.

i'm about to, though.

"you're so wet...imagine fucking that into me. getting me wet inside with you. cumming inside me, spilling white until it leaks out."

i moan, shocked with the ferocity of desire, i don't really LIKE fucking, but i'd LOVE fucking her.

"you won't run away after this, will you? you'll stay, and then we'll do things right? we can talk, watch a movie, have a perfect date, like normal? i haven't fucked things up by saying yes to you, have i? tell me i haven't, tell me."

i pull off her cock, still stroking with my hand the spit-slick length, wet with her own fluid as well. i'm dazed, but i stand and kiss her neck, kneeling over her lap and rubbing our lengths together, thrusting my cock against hers, holding both of us in my huge, ugly hand.

"i...to be honest, i wanna run, i wanna go home like this was just nothing, like it meant nothing, because imma think about it for the rest of my fucking life, and i want to think about it as something good, before you really do start treating me bad, cuz everyone does, cuz i'm easy, and fuckable, and desperate to be fucked.

"but if you wanna keep me, even if you turn rotten sour...i'll stay. you know? i'll stay. i want...i want to make you happy. you, the way you look at me, it's nice, you know, it's nice. it's different, it makes me feel good, and is nice. i wanna make you feel good, i wanna make you happy, i want you to be happy, and i'm even OK being used just for sex, i'll be your sex puppy, your sex toy, it's fine, as long as you will be happy. i'll be happy by proxy.

"i just...it's been beaten into me. but when i see someone who, who wants me, and is, is a little, more, more dominant, than i am, which is easy i guess, haha, haha, i...i just...

I WANT TO SERVE.

"I WANT YOU TO KEEP ME, AND I WANT TO SERVE."

i kiss down her neck and rub our hot lengths together, thumbing the leaking heads.

"i think i did something bad, sukuna. i think...i don't deserve that. can we, fuck, can we cum and start over? can we do this right? i, don't forgive me, don't say it was okay, i should have said no, i should have, i, fuck. am i fucking this up? sukuna?"

"cum for me," i say, kissing her on her lovely mouth, feeling it tingle in a way it's never done, my lips feel weird, buzzing, and i kiss her again, crushing her mouth to mine with a hand on the back of her head and the other stroking our cocks with an elegant, practiced, smooth twist of the wrist.

she jolts and moans, helplessly, as i lick into her mouth, pressing her in closer with a hand to the back of her head, and then she cums into my fist, and with an unspooling tension of extreme relief, i cum, too, rubbing it down both of us.

when she pulls off my mouth, our lips are crushed swollen, and her eyes are wet, lashes clumping together.

she pulls a wet wipe from the coffee table sanrio container that so obviously doesn't match her aesthetic and demeanor it must have been a prank gift, but she uses it to wipe us both off as we catch our breaths.

"sukuna, i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. im so fucking sorry. is it? can i fix this? can you let me fix this?"

i stare blankly at her. i haven't cum that hard...probably in my life. it's never really felt good. but i feel a kind of...glow in my chest, of satisfaction, of a job well done, and just...a pleasure that simply feels good, to have made her feel good, and for her to have made ME feel good.

"what's the problem?"

"i, sukuna, it...we just, talked, about it? kind of?"

i shrug. "i don't really remember what i say during sex. but i don't have a problem. anyway, should head back. i guess."

she clings onto my shirt. "will you stay? have coffee? dinner? i can make...well i'm not really good at cooking, but i have miso, and some mackerel konbini bentos? will you stay, please? please, sukuna?"

her eyes water, and i can't tell if she's actually upset or trying to manipulate me, but either way it is working, and i don't really care either way either.

i shrug. "i'm good at cooking, you got any fucking ingredients? i'll make fresh rice, tamagoyaki if ya got any eggs left, miso's good. fry up some mushrooms on the side if you got any."

"i...okay, is it okay?" she says.

"yeah, it's fine, it's whatever," i shrug.

"sukuna, is it really okay? you can say no."

"but you want me to stay."

"yes."

"so i can't say no."

"i think you want to stay, too, don't you?" her voice is very small.

"idk, i get all confused after sex. it makes me, idk, bristly, floaty, weird. i'm not used to, uhh, talking. after. or staying. i'm not really fucking good at like, talking. yuuji always says the third word out of my mouth is FUCK and i don't know none outside of FUCK, SHIT, BASTARD!"

"i think you're more than that. i know you are. please stay."

"like, i'm going to stay, cuz you want me to, but when you said i could say no, like i can't, because you want me to stay."

"you...could still say no, and not care, about me. i'm, fuck, i'm doing this wrong, i'm doing everything wrong, this is why i DON'T make decisions, this is why i DON'T fucking, do, what i want, this is why i don't get anything i want because i don't know how to chase it, i don't know how to run after it, i don't know how to pursue, or take, so when i do, i take too much, or say too much, and i'm, im not used to DOING or DECIDING, it's, but i..."

megumi runs up to me, hugging me from behind, her breath against the back of my neck, her thin arms wrapping around my thick waist.

"i want you. i saw you, and i wanted you more than anything in my life, i have never wanted anything in my life, i have never wanted for anything and i have never wanted anything."

megumi kisses the nape of my neck where the black stubble starts. "but i wanted you. i want you. i'm really sorry. i fucked up. but i want to do this right. i want to do right by you, and i want to do this right, but i don't know how, either. i don't know how."

"you fucking, think i do? i don't...i dont know shit. the only thing i know how to do is have sex and make it quick, cum quick, and hard, and good, and fast, and easy, and fun, and good, for whoever i'm with, and, it's whatever for me, it, it was different this time, and i'm uncomfortable, i dont, like, i don't know why it was different, i still want to leave and not think about it and also obsess about it every time i jack off for the rest of my Fucking life, and just like."

i stroke her arms around me, leaning my head back into her neck kisses.

"just like, you know, some one night stands are meant to be a one night stand you think about for the rest of your life and that's that. you never see each other again and you're not supposed to. you're just supposed to think about what could have been forever until you die just like all the time and thinking about what could have been is better than the horrifying reality of actually taking it and trying it and failing and fucking up and k-kissing and liking it and liking, and liking, and wanting, and being fucking HONEST, and fucking TRUE, and, and...wanting and being wanted, for more than your fucking, well, fucking."

i turn around in her arms, and she opens them, surprised, before sliding them around my neck, clinging. "megumi, i think this was supposed to be one of Those one night stands that i think about forever until i die. but? you asked me to stay, so i'll stay, i have to try. "

because i can't disobey.

"you think i'm worth it?" megumi asks. then she smiles wryly, and shakes her head. "of course i'm not fucking worthy. but i'll make it up to you. i could be, someday, worth the effort, i'll be fucking sure, to, to be worth the effort, because of you i have an ambition now, and that ambition is to be someone deserving of, of belonging with you, of keeping you, of having you and meeting you."

i lower my eyes. "i can't decide that for you."

"you don't need to. someday, i'll give myself the permission to live, truly live, and i'll start...by asking you to, to live with me."

i jolt my head up, frightened that she saw through me the entire time.

that i was about to die, and no one, not even my twin brother, noticed.

"live with me, sukuna. let's...let's try to find an ambition, to keep us alive, and together. if you...if it's true you want me, and you want to be kept, it's also true i want you, and i want to keep you, then let's...forge an ambition to make it through to the end together, until one of us breaks apart to, to to...let's survive until annihilation, let's live and let's truly live, not just..."

"not just play our predesignated parts," i murmur.

"yes, sukuna. yes."

i kiss her, thinking of her mouth, and thinking of dinner. i think i have sinned, i am a sinner, i have done and met unworthy atrocities, i have committed atrocities with these two hands and this unholy / sacred body, but. for as long as she wants me. i am wanted.

and if she tells me to live...

i cannot disobey.

#jjk fic #sukufushi

0 notes

juicywritinghoard · 2 years ago

Text

prompts to shake things up

I didn't know you wore glasses and I'm thinking normal and platonic thoughts about you right now I swear

I'm going to take over the world and no one can stop me not even y- okay well if you ask nicely I guess

you say childish like it's a bad thing but I see you eyeing that life size Pokémon plush don't kid yourself

be honest are you crying about the commercial with the kitten in it

this marriage was supposed to be a scam but, but listen,

soooo *twirling hair and fluttering eyelashes* why does everyone think you're a freak

I know I'm your doctor and the horns growing in overnight was kind of a surprise but why do you want them removed those are sick as hell

babe. my love. song in my heart. are you purring

okay so if you want me to rescue you from up there you have to try to come with me--okay I guess I'm picking you up

I have never been this sick before I'm sorry did I, haha this is so weird, but did I confess my love for you? f- four times? yeah? haha oh

every time you taste my cooking you just say it's amazing does it need more salt or not I swan to John

oh it's nothing it's just. you sing when you're happy and the place has been so quiet for so long, and I heard you- nevermind,

you frost cookies like you're neither left or right handed but a third other hand that you don't actually possess and I can't stand it (affectionate)

I don't think you understand how much your good morning texts legitimately keep me from rotting in bed all day

you must be pretty down if me juggling your oranges doesn't even get a laugh out of you :( should I light them on fire?

no I see the super powers yeah I just, I'm not sure you got them from your medication, yeah, and would you say that's a negative side effect or

you bought me a SWORD? OH MAN IM GONNA BE SO DANGEROUS

ooh what's this potion do? coffee? that's a funny name. what happens if I press this button? humans are so fascinating this is the best I hope I never go home

you've been blinking SOS in Morse code at me for ten minutes honey this award ceremony is supposed to be honoring you

when we kiss I feel like I'm floating, like literally gravity stopped working on me please don't let go?? also another kiss wouldn't hurt just saying

so it was YOU who took a full bite out of that stick of butter!! please. please. why??

let's go on vacation somewhere cheesy and act like we're a couple wouldn't that be sooooo funny haha

okay so sleeping it off didn't work. let me consult my list. hypnotism, no. meditation, certainly not. well something has to work because I simply cannot be in love with them

I'm a spy. i can do unspeakable crimes under the morally bankrupt cover of night but I'm not sure I can pretend to look at real estate as a couple with you

my love is your arm stuck in the claw machine. you were going to steal that prize for me?? oh my gosh. let me rescue you and also show you how to actually do this

9K notes · View notes

idkanametoputhere · 2 years ago

Note

Heyooo it's me again 👉👈

How are you today ? I hope you're having a good day !

There's a new idea that popped up and it is

" Yuu ends up sick and can't attend to lessons. How do they take care of them? Featuring Vil , Azul, Jamil ( and anyone else you want to include^^)

Sincerely your fan !

heyy :) I'm pretty good, pretty good, how are u? thank u for the request! I'm sorry that it took me so long to write it, school and after-school lessons have been kicking my ass lately, buuut I hope u enjoy:)

Vil, Azul, Jamil × sick!gn!reader (separately)

masterlist<3

Vil Schoenheit

So it's your normal day, right? Rook is being borderline creepy, Ace and Deuce are getting in trouble, Jamil is following Kalim around, you are not in class, Epel has already had his scolding for the day

wait wait, hold up, you are not in class?

ngl I think that at first he didn't care THAT much, like okay maybe u had extra work to do, maybe you slept in (which actually would earn you a scolding)

but when he hears from your friends that you are sick? he's very much worried

he makes some time in his oh so busy schedule to visit you

when he comes to visit I don't he'd get TOO close to you

like he brings u water, cuts up some fruit for you so you can get your vitamins maybe makes you some tea and he gives it to you while you are in bed but he won't hug you or like sit next to you for too long

oh! and he definetky acts like he wasn't worried and like he "just had some extra time"

as if he didn't spend almost an hour figuring out what he should and shouldn't get out of his schedule in order to visit

I think he'd justvsit in a chair next to your bed and talk to you about his day

unless you have a headache, then I think he'd do some of his work but like still in a chair near your bed

overall pretty good, pretty great, he has the Mid seal of Approval™️

Azul Ashengrotto

mans is a busy guy, VERY busy guy

he almost doesn't realise you were not at school, until floyd comes in complaining during lunchtime cause "shrimpy is sick" and "he's bored without shrimpy"

after school he doesn't go directly to the monstro lounge and instead visits you

I feel like merfolks' and humans' bodies would react differently to sickness

so he KINDA knows what to do (having also read a lot of books and knows some stuff) but he doesn't KNOW KNOW what to do

he's a bit awkward but he definetly tries to keep on that "cool fish mafia boss, gang leader of the fish" facade on

lowkey fails but don't tell him that

he doesn't stay too long as he has work to do, unless you tell him to, then he's not moving

he'd leave and then visit again, maybe even bring you some painkillers to help

he definetly makes jade check up on you if he's too busy

somehow makes a potion in alchemy that makes you feel better quicker?? mans just invented new medicine??

but it tastes like total crap tbh

overall also good, also has the Mid seal of approval™️

Jamil Viper

he'd notice relatively quickly that you're gone and would discreetly ask about it

once he finds out he's worried but he can't just leave kalim alone

but when he cooks lunch for kalim he makes you soup<3

he then gives you said soup during lunchtime and he spends as much of his lunchtime as he can with you

knows what medicine, foods andstuff in general you need and he gives it to you

when it's club time and he has time away from kalim he comes to visit

WHO NEEDS BASKETBALL AMIRIGHT??

out of the three, he's the one that would be more caring, not cause the other two aren't, just cause he knows what he's doing

he too sits down and rants about his day, but unlike the other two he sits on the bed next to you

he does not let you touch your phone, if you're bored then you better sleep cause he's not giving you that phone till you feel better

kalim comes to visit at some point, followed by a grumpy jamil

overall, he gets the Mid award™️ for who to call when you're sick

AHHHHH AGAUN, IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG AAND IM SORRY ITS BAD BUT I STILL HOPE U LIKED IT

153 notes · View notes

null-doesnothing · 3 months ago

Note

I hope you dont mind but since you've left spaces open for sulu, scotty, uhura, and chapel I figured I'd step in with my own like a nerd

Sulu: dont have any specific sexuality or gender headcanons for the guy but he's gotta be some flavor of queer I fear. used to love going to beaches as a kid and cant stand it anymore, listens to a weirdly varied amount of music genres (like you'd look in his playlist and find top 20 pop list type music and the most niche shit you have EVER heard of. also some shit Chekov snuck in there that he decided he didn't care enough abt to get rid of) also probably the type of guy to just have the One playlist and its just his liked songs and everyone who looks at it is like "dude wtf IS this". he has no explanation. Next to Spock, he's the most heat-resistant of the group, though unlike Spock he actually handles humidity fairly well (cant relate im from the desert I would drown) Oh also you cant tell him shit cuz he's a major gossip sorry

Scotty: probably unlabeled honestly if I had to guess, I don't think he would care too much abt it... or think too much abt it.... busy w/ da ship. honestly this is barely a headcanon but the mf just loves feeling impressive at any given moment. about anything. ever. Also has definitely fallen asleep while working on something and almost wrecked his whole face. oh also he probably had a cat at some point in time that would sit on him as he slept and one night he accidentally like. threw it off in his sleep. and he felt really bad about it. dont ask how I know it was written in the stars shsshhh

Uhura: either lesbian or bi, personally I lean towards lesbian for her. can draw!! really well actually!! does it in her free time and sort of keeps them to herself, I think if she met Data they'd bond over the little art adventures going on there. Also she can only hypothetically cook. like- she knows what needs to go into a dish, and how to make it taste good, and she could instruct someone on what to do? but as soon as she actually physically tries to make a dish just. 🔥 uhhh has a collection of ancient (lol) cassette tapes that she Can Not Play because she couldn't find a working cassette player. Scotty's ended up working on making one as a side project

Chapel: lesbian. that is a lesbian woman with comphet. absolutely. 100%. has some betazoid in her but not enough to show At All (though to be fair, not much to show up anyways. also this is my watsonian explanation for Lwaxana having her exact face, though tbf ig like it could be the other way around but SSSHHHH) and was also raised on Mars for some of her childhood. oh also has just the most insane Bullshit Detector ever, it's very very difficult to get a lie past her. as a child her hair was brunette and got more blonde over time, but her hair in tos is dyed to give it a different tone. also this one goes against canon but ACTUALLY WEARS GLOVES IN SICK BAY AND GETS ANNOYED WHEN BONES DOESNT

ahem- now, I'm going to be very self-indulgent for a moment and, instead of just leaving it there, I'm going to attack one more character with my headcanons because he's my FAVE and NOBODY EVER MAKES HEADCANONS FOR HIM so uhhh. that's my thing rn I'm hijacking your post a bit

Sarek (I love him sm I'm sorry): as a little boy he was probably one of the least well behaved, most rambunctious, and emotional children on the whole of Vulcan, and for the most part was just generally a pain in his parent's asses for a long long time. eventually he became the hyper-strict unemotional logical vulcan he is now, but he definitely wasn't always that way, had to be drilled into him. that's feeds into my headcanon for why he treats Spock the way he does, there's slight fear at him acting human but generally, his fear leans more towards Spock ending up like he was as a child. totally incorrect fear my guy but hey idk what do I know. oh also I think you can't ever show him star wars because he would see Anakin's storyline and have a heart attack spontaneously. OH OH ALSO- this one ISNT a headcanon but I-Chaya was HIS pet first! the headcanon here comes in that I firmly believe when he was like. 6. he picked up little tiny baby I-Chaya and was like "im keeping it. mine now." like a child adopting a stray cat off the street and their parents begrudgingly accepting it.

sorry that's way longer than the other guys' I think abt him a lot

favourite star trek headcanons?

Oh boy I have ALOT hehe (thank you so much for asking :3) (and these are just my silly headcanons and it's totally find if you disagree with them <3)

Id like to hear your favourite headcanons @etherealspacejelly :3

Kirk: Hes trans and pansexual (or bi I like both), that bitch loves to vouge its his favourite dance move hehe, kept the boob window shirt from amok time and wears it just to annoy Spock, is Jewish, (this one is more for AOS kirk but whatever) He LOVES 90s and early 2000s rap and hip hop such as the Beastie Boys.

Spock: Jewish on his mums side, is gay MLM or unlabelled (I like both hc), really likes ambient music and falls asleep to it and white noise.

Bones: Is bisexual (yeah no, no character in TOS is straight sorry) loveeees to sing country songs when no one is around or can hear him even while on duty (Kirk definitely caught him once singing and teased the living fuck out of him), he loves to wear low raise jeans (old man whore), he has anger problems, a chronic smoker (yes yes he's a doctor but come on...he needs to let off some steam man) loves old country music especially from 20th century Earth, a massive fan of Dolly Parton and sings her songs regularly (his singing voice isn't actually that bad either, quite soothing but slightly deep)

Chekov: bi-curious (NO SLAVIC PERSON IS TRULY STRAIGHT...coming from a slav hehe) weed smoker so he probably smells like kush 50% of the time, is eastern orthodox (religion wise) he absolutely adores late 20th century (80s-90s) Russian Post-Punk such as Кино and Nautilus Pompillus, he also listens to Bladee and the drain gang in general (idk man he just seems like the average drainer/Bladee fan) also uses She/Him pronouns...(or that's just me projecting myself onto him)

...yeah you can CLEARLY see which characters are my favorites hehe (also I didn't put on hc for sulu scotty uhura or chapel since I barely have any)

#sighs. the autism

29 notes · View notes

ryosmne · 3 years ago

Text

Calling out AOT simps.

Hey again, I did this last time with jjk, here's the aot version cause I felt like it, been pretty sick recently and bored out of my mind. This isn't ment to disrespect anyone, everything I say is meant as a joke and not to be taken to heart. I included the characters I already have an opinion on, idk maybe I'll expand the list. Anyways enjoy reading :>

Hange simps: Ok I see y'all, you're valid af, Henge is Hella hot but on a serious note how's your mental health doing? Carrying your friends issues isn't fun, pls take a break, have a cookie and sleep in fuzzy blankets you deserve it. They'd treat you like royalty, I can't roast you, congratulations on your choices. Either just as insanely upbeat as them or very relaxed and you need a person with a very upbeat personality to keep you leveled. 10/10 you're sweethearts and I've never seen an army of simps as hot and with different styles. Casual indie music enjoyer<3

Levi simps: You have attachment issues. There I said it. It's been like what? 9 years since the anime came out and you're still so down bad for this man ever since he baybladed his way into your heart. Most of y'all would drop every anime crush for him, he's top dog for you. Let's face it no one could get him to open up but I don't think you're ready for this conversation. Your family knows about Levi, your friends know about Levi, you're probably never letting him go. For that I'll say you're extremely loyal also you have unrealistic standards in dating. Pretty sure you're great cooks. You have low-key adapted his personality and you're badasses. Also valid 10/10 I think you like chill rnb, idk I can't read y'all.

Mikasa simps: You fell for her cause she's hella strong and gorgeous, she deserves the world and so do you, but for the love of God if I see another word about the unspeakable things you'd do with her menstrural products im coming for your internet connections. I'll skip the obvious need you have for her to beat you up, I love her too I'm down bad for her but I get my daily dose of grass touching, y'all should try it too. I hope you know she hasn't washed her scarf ever since eren gave it to her. 9/10 you need to chill, fucking mappa made us all feral. Dark clothes, You listen to mitski.

Eren simps: Welcome to group therapy, do you want to share something with the circle or shall I go first? :> You have extremely unhealthy habits. No you don't need more caffeine for today, I beg you have a sip of water and some fruit. You don't care if he destroyed everything on earth as long as you got destroyed by him too. You probably read a lot of modern au fics to escape the pain (don't be shy drop your recs in my comments pls, it's a need at this point). If you started the simping campaign in season four you probably simped for Levi before that. You now have a thing for long hair and man buns now. Dog person, alternative look idk I picture y'all with piercings and tattoos. You believe in traumatising people back, who am I to judge? How does it feel to have your entire simp list be villains? If mikasa simps need to touch grass y'all should probably go to a field and start chewing it up, you know what I'm talking about, I won't elaborate. 15/10 if you also simp for his Titan form, bmth enjoyer, if you don't know what music to play you go an Eren Jaeger playlist.

Reiner simps: Who hurt you? I'll just say it, daddy issues. You think you can be a therapist to him, probably give him comfort, you can't I'm sorry. I feel like he'd treat you ok, but please stop going after people who have issues it's not good for you. But I feel you he's so hot and troubled also honkers. You have a thing for big chested anime men, probably also a toji or Nanami simp, dare I say Yami? Can I be honest tho I really like y'all, you're chill and gorgeous with taste, I can ignore the mental health issues too cause this man is something else. 20/10 you give me grunge music vibes.

Armin: Smarty pants, you like control. I low-key think you're a bit crazy in a good way, you seem very calculated but lmao every decision you make is last minute :') you are very well spoken and seemingly calm. He'd treat you great I can't roast you at all, I'm sorry. 10/10 very good choice, let the rest of us burn, dark/light academia aesthetic, I think you get down to some K-pop.

Jean simps: People of culture, you're also cocky like him but not as hot headed. Another man that would give you the world, I also can't roast you, you make better decisions than I ever did in my life. MCU fan. You have a thing for side characters, I think you always like someone other than the MC. You have a thing for hands. 10/10 great street style looks, classic rock enjoyer.

Erwin: Unhealthy, he'd lead you to death just so he could see that basement. He's a crazy bastard, make better choices, you don't deserve to be eaten by titans. You have a thing for authority figures. -100/10 I picture y'all in sundresses and you'd look amazing, you deserve better.

432 notes · View notes

settersprouts · 4 years ago

Text

꒦ ikanaide : chapter three ! ꒦

病欠

. . : iwaizumi gets sick and doesn't tell oikawa. oikawa notices he's not at school and skips practice for the first time to take care of him.

or, iwaizumi doesn't like to take medicine and oikawa can cook.

sniffles. coughs. that's all that could be heard through the iwaizumi household at five am, the time hajime iwaizumi was supposed to be getting ready for school. hanako iwaizumi sighed, not ready to deal with a sick hajime. reluctantly making his way out of the bed he shared with aiya, he got a bucket, a couple of rags, and starting the trek to his son's room.

``hey-`` hanako started, but was interrupted by a coughing fit. ``hajime. how you feeling?``

his son smiled up at him grimly, wiping at the snot in his nose. ``like shit.``

``language.``

``sorry.``

hanako let out another sigh, wringing one of the rags out and placing the damp cloth on his forehead. ``symptoms?``

``cough, sneezing, my nose is runny- and my throat hurts,`` iwaizumi managed, his voice dry and scratchy.

``that bad, huh?`` hanako set the bucket down on the floor, pulling out his phone and thumbing at his screen. ``i'll text your coach and teachers to let them know you can't make it.``

iwaizumi nodded, letting out a small groan. his eyes suddenly flung wide open, and he sat up abruptly, scaring hanako a little. ``don't tell oikawa! he's going to try and skip school to take care of me, i'm sure.``

hanako chuckled, giving his son a little thumbs up and pushing him back down. ``i got it. i'll just let him figure it out himself.``

his son sighed in relief, letting his entire body relax. ``thanks, old man.``

``i'm not old. want some oatmeal?``

``that'd be great. thank you.``

a smile pulled at hanako's lips. ``alright, coming right up, kiddo.`` he made his way out of iwaizumi's room, leaving the door open so air could filter through.

``don't make it sweet! i hate it sweet!``

``i know that!``

hanako made his way into the kitchen, almost running into his wife. ``whoa- oh, good morning, love.``

``morning, hanako.`` aiya yawned, her face contorting into an expression of confusion. ``where's hajime? he should be getting his breakfast ready by now.``

``the kid's sick,`` hanako replied, kissing his wife on the cheek. ``i'm getting him some oatmeal for breakfast.``

aiya nodded, opening a drawer and pulling out a thermometer. she handed it to her husband. ``make sure to take his temperature, too. i want to know if i need to have a doctor over.``

hanako deadpanned, letting out a gruff laugh. ``babe, that's a meat thermometer.``

``oh, is it?`` she smiled apologetically, putting it back and switching it with the other thermometer. ``here, take this, then.``

he reached out to grab at the cool metal, letting it sit in his breast pocket as he got iwaizumi's oatmeal ready. ``can you go get him some cough medicine, or something for his throat? hajime says it's sore.``

his wife nodded, and padded over to the fridge, reaching above it to open the medicine cabinet. she sorted through bottles and bottles of over-the-counter medicine, before finally reaching the cough and sore-throat remedies. pouring a little bit into a plastic cup, aiya put the bottle back and closed the cabinet, placing the cup onto the tray with her son's water glass and oatmeal on it. ``there. have you called hajime's school, yet?``

hanako nodded. ``mhm. already done. hajime doesn't want oikawa-kun to know he's sick yet, so don't tell his mother. knowing her, she'll spill the beans somehow.``

aiya let out a soft laugh, covering her mouth as she did so. ``i understand. he'll probably want to skip school and tend to hajime all day.``

``that boy is something else.``

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

oikawa tapped his foot impatiently, standing at the intersection where he and iwaizumi usually meet up. they were supposed to get there early so oikawa could grab something from the convenience store- it was his nephew's birthday, after all, and he wanted to buy some red velvet cake mix.

he let out a sigh, pulling out his phone to check the messages he had with the ace.

› Messages with : Iwaizumi, Hajime

[Sent:To Oikawa, Toorū] go to sleep already, you idiot

[Sent:To Oikawa, Toorū] i know you're up watching volleyball matches

[Sent:To Oikawa, Toorū] it's late, get some rest or i'll hit you

¹¹⁻³⁹ ᴾᴹ

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] yeah, yeah, got it iwa-chan ಠ_ಠ

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] you don't have to be so rude, you know

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] and why r u so obsessed w hitting me ?

¹¹⁻⁴⁰ ᴾᴹ

[Sent:To Oikawa, Toorū] goodnight

¹¹⁻⁴⁰ ᴾᴹ

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] goodnight, iwa-chan :D

¹¹⁻⁴¹ ᴾᴹ

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] morning, iwa (*ﾟｰﾟ)ゞ

⁰⁵⁻³⁰ ᴬᴹ

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] where r u 人´∀｀) i'm @ the intersection

⁰⁶⁻⁰⁴ ᴬᴹ

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] iwa we're gonna be late i need to go to the store φ(。。*)

⁰⁶⁻⁰⁵ ᴬᴹ

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] iwa-chan i'm leaving you >:p

⁰⁶⁻⁰⁷ ᴬᴹ

[Sent:From Oikawa, Toorū] im gonna kill you when i see you

⁰⁶⁻¹³ ᴬᴹ

despite what the messages ensued, he still hadn't left without iwaizumi. he let out another sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. he really had to leave, but he didn't want the ace to be mad once he figured out oikawa had went on without him. oikawa inhaled through his nose, and out through his mouth. pushing aside the fear of a very angry iwaizumi showing up to first period with homicide on his mind.

the sun was rising and starting to shine brightly, slightly blinding oikawa as he glanced at the star. if iwaizumi were here, he would've already been geeking out about it to him, trying to annoy the vice. he wasn't really that obsessed with space and extraterrestrial life, oikawa just liked to annoy his best friends.

``hey, oikawa!`` the setter turned at his name being called, and was instantly greeted with someone running straight into him. arms wrapped around his torso in what he thought was a hug, but couldn't be sure, since all the wind was knocked out of him in the process. familiar tufts of pink-brown hair tickled his nose, and his lips pulled into a small, genuine smile. he wrapped his arms around the attacker's torso, too, breathing in the scent he considered a second home.

``hey, makki. morning.`` oikawa smiled, pulling away to see his friend's beaming face.

hanamaki linked arms with oikawa, pulling him along. ``c'mon, we're going to be late for class!``

oikawa looked down at his phone, checking the time. 06:19 AM, it read. ``makki, it's only six twenty. we have plenty of time.``

``but..`` makki groaned, making a big show of rolling his head back and exposing his neck to the sky. whether or not that was an impression of oikawa on one of his days, oikawa may never know. ``we can be early for once.``

``class doesn't start until seven thirty.`` oikawa sang, pulling away from makki's grip and dragging him along. ``plus, i gotta get something from the store for takeru's birthday.``

his companion made an 'o' shape with his mouth, succumbing to oikawa's charms and letting himself be lead to the nearest store. ``nice. what are you getting?``

``cake mix. red velvet.``

``red velvet? holy shit, can i come to the party?`` hanamaki gasped, giving his friend his full attention now. oikawa laughed, and nodded.

``yeah. i was planning on inviting you and mattsun anyways.`` he replied, scratching the back of his neck. ``iwa-chan gets a free pass, since my mom knows him.``

makki gasped in mock offense, holding his free hand to his heart. ``she knows me too! how come i don't get a free pass? does she not like me?``

oikawa shrugged. ``well, you're kind of.. how can i say this. um-`` he laughed nervously, ``-too energetic, for her taste?``

``this is atrocious. i even did her dishes for her, once.``

``key word, once.`` oikawa retorted, eyeing the store up ahead. ``oh hey, look, there's sakanoshita. think we'll find cake mix there?``

hanamaki shrugged. ``probably. doesn't karasuno's coach work there?``

oikawa nodded. ``hopefully tobio-chan didn't stop by on his way to school. i think i might throw up if i see him.``

``how immature.``

the two of them made their way into the small store, muttering a little "pardon the intrusion!" to the staff, who turned out to be a short, older woman, not karasuno's coach. they both let out a sigh of relief- anything could've happened if it was ukai who was sitting in the little swivel chair behind the counter. possibly just them having to endure the shameless torments from the latter, but who knows.

oikawa and hanamaki glanced at the small signs labeling the aisles, quickly finding the one they were looking for and walked down to the middle, where all the cake mixes lay. the captain sifted through the red velvet mixes while the other eyed the brownie batter with starry eyes. oikawa skimmed the backs of four boxes he settled on, tossing them all into the little basket he had picked up as soon as they walked in. turning to his partner, he couldn't help but let the wide smile overcome his facial features. hanamaki was practically drooling at the pictures of the brownies on the boxes.

he padded over to the wing-spiker and picked up a box, tossing it into the basket as well and waltzed out of the aisle- hanamaki at his heels. ``whoa, are you seriously buying that for me?``

oikawa shook his head. ``for me. to make for you when you come over later.`` he stuck out his tongue at his partner, smiling at the laugh he was able to get out of him.

``sure, whatever you say.``

the captain turned to the lady at the desk, reading the nametag on her shirt. hana sakanoshita. ah. so she was the owner. sakanoshita smiled at him, taking the bag out of his hands and scanning the barcodes on the backs of the boxes. ``find everything okay, honey?``

``yep, great, thank you! could we also get two packs of that strawberry gum?`` he pointed, putting on one of his award-winning smiles. she seemed to melt at this and nodded, quickly bagging up his stuff and handing his credit card back.

``you have a good day, boys.`` she said, waving at them as they exited. the two smiled and waved back, turning towards aoba johsai and resuming their trek.

hanamaki checked his phone, letting out a sharp whistle. ``nice. we didn't take as long as i expected- we have fifteen minutes 'till first period.``

oikawa grinned. ``told you so.``

``yeah, yeah. oh- by the way, where's iwaizumi?`` hanamaki looked around as if he were looking for the teen, turning back to oikawa once he figured out he really wasn't there with them. ``he walks with you, right?``

the latter shrugged, pulling out his own gum pack and popping a strip into his mouth. ``dunno. he didn't show at the intersection where we meet up, so i just went along without him. he didn't answer any of my texts, either.``

``huh.`` hanamaki said, putting his index finger and thumb on his chin in a thinking pose. ``that's weird. maybe he overslept?``

``doubt it. the man sleeps with his phone on so loud, he'll wake up immediately as soon as he hears one of my texts. plus, he has like, fifty alarms back-to-back to wake him up.`` oikawa replied, shutting down makki's theory so fast, he didn't even see it coming.

makki sighed. ``ah. i see.`` he shook his head as to clear his mind of any stray thoughts, and extended his hand. ``i want some gum. hand it over, peasant.``

``yes, my lord.`` oikawa said jokingly, gracefully whipping out the pack of strawberry gum and placing it in his hands. he folded makki's fingers around it, never breaking eye contact with his teammate. ``here it is. do what you wish with it.``

the two snickered at their antics, slinging their arms around one another. ``we're so going to be late.``

``yeah, probably.``

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

``oh, yeah, we're so sorry ms. sato. we got stuck in traffic- there was an accident over by my house.`` makki sighed dramatically, shaking his head slightly. ``we would've gotten a late pass, but we didn't think we were going to be so late.``

ms. sato shook her head quickly, smiling at the teen. ``it's okay, hanamaki-kun. just try not to let this happen too much, okay?``

hanamaki nodded. ``yes, ma'am.`` oikawa mentally facepalmed at his antics, and the two walked to the back to sit down in their seats, next to matsukawa, who was struggling to keep a laugh in.

``jesus,`` matsukawa breathed, ``the amount of bullshit in that was immaculate.``

``right?`` he and hanamaki fistbumped, grinning widely like the idiots they were.

oikawa sighed, turning his head slightly to talk to iwaizumi, then stopping himself before he could say anything. iwaizumi's desk stood empty next to his own. the captain frowned, checking his phone for any recent texts from the ace. nothing popped up.

makki slung an arm over oikawa, concern lining his features. ``hey, what's up?``

``he still isn't here.`` he pointed to iwaizumi's desk, the frown growing by the minute. ``and he's not answering. makki, i'm worried.``

a head full of black, unruly hair obscured the view he had of his phone. matsukawa laughed, stepping back. ``so he didn't tell you guys?`` when hanamaki and oikawa looked at him with confused expressions, he chuckled, and continued. ``guys, he's sick. coach was talking about it with ms. sato this morning. if you got here earlier you would've known.``

the captain facepalmed. ``of course, that makes sense. why couldn't he have told me though?``

``dunno.`` mattsun ignored the small pout resting on his captain's lips, shoving at his shoulder a bit. ``lighten up. he probably didn't want you to skip school and take care of him.``

oikawa let out a puff of air. ``yeah, okay. you're probably right.`` he was about to continue but ms. sato had started class, and a comfortable silence fell upon them as they gave the woman their full attention. makki and mattsun glanced at oikawa, worry clearly etched on their faces. perhaps they shouldn't have told him what happened with his best friend.

``oikawa,`` ms. sato supplied, stalking over to his desk and setting two thick packets on the hard wood. ``here's iwaizumi-kun's work. i trust you'll be able to get this to him?``

the latter sighed, looking up towards his sensei with the fakest smile he could muster. ``yes, sato-san, i'll give this to him as soon as i see him.``

ms. sato smiled, patting the boy's head and walking back to the front of the class. ``alright, so, has anyone written down the notes on the board?``

oikawa glanced at the chalkboard, internally groaning as he noticed it was completely filled with notes. where the hell did she find the time to write all that?

he let out the fifth-hundredth sigh that day, picking up his pencil and getting to work. iwaizumi totally owed him.

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

``you want to, what?`` coach irihata stared at his pupil, shock painting his features. oikawa stood before him, fumbling with his practice clothes, a faint blush plastered over his cheeks and nose. ``you want to skip practice?``

``yes.`` oikawa nodded. ``it's only for today, so i can go home and take care of iwa-chan. he has a lot of work to catch up on,`` he added, holding up the many papers he had collected from his professors in each class, since his and iwaizumi's timestables were identical.

irihata stared at him some more, then shook his head quickly, smiling at him. ``alright. i don't see why not.``

oikawa brightened, clearly glad by the news. ``thank you so much! i promise i'll make it up to you!`` he chimed, switching his volleyball shoes for a pair of regular sneakers. ``all your meals this week, on me!``

``you don't have to- and he's out the door.`` irihata sighed, glancing at the now agape gym door. the warm afternoon breeze rushed in, leaving an unpleasant, humid feeling. mizoguchi came up behind him, watching oikawa sprint off into the distance. ``that boy is something else, isn't he?``

``definitely.`` mizoguchi laughed, walking forward to close the doors. ``iwaizumi's lucky to have a good friend like him.``

the older coach nodded. ``we're all glad to know him.``

dammit, someone's talking about me, oikawa thought, as he sneezed for the seventh time since leaving aoba johsai. he rubbed his nose, pissed off at the irritation of his sensitive organ. his legs already burned- he had sprinted all the way to the intersection, and was now leaning on a streetlamp, catching his breath. he probably should've put on his knee brace if he knew he was going to exert a little energy on running home, but he was in a rush.

pulling out his phone, he quickly navigated to his email, frowning at the lack of messages from his dear friend hajime iwaizumi. he hadn't read the texts either, so he probably was really exhausted. slipping the device back into his pocket, he started the rest of his trek home, popping another strip of gum into his mouth.

the grocery bag swinging on his arm contained all the contents oikawa thought iwaizumi would need : some cough and cold medicine, a couple of boxes of tissues, a mask for himself, disposable rags, and a heating pad. the materials cost him about ¥800 each, which wasn't that expensive.

finally, after what had seemed like forever, the captain had arrived at iwaizumi's house. there were no cars in the driveway, which meant his parents weren't home. what were they thinking, leaving poor iwa-chan alone while he's sick? oikawa frowned at this. what a silly idea.

he flipped up the doormat, grabbing the key that was strategically placed underneath and unlocked the door. pushing it open, he let out a little ``yahoo~ anyone home?`` to let iwaizumi know he was there. he wasn't expecting a reaction, so seeing iwaizumi come downstairs to greet him kind of scared him out of his wits a little bit.

``jesus! iwa-chan, can't you warn a dude first?`` oikawa panted, placing a hand over his heart. the ace deadpanned, walking over and snatching the bags out of his hands.

``what the hell do you think you're doing here? i'm sick, go home.`` he retorted, his eyebrows furrowing so much, they looked like they were attached to his eyes. he sifted through the bag, pausing once he realized what the plastic bag contained. ``what is this?``

oikawa rolled his eyes, taking the bag back and setting its' contents on the kitchen counter. ``it's for you. you're sick, so i decided to skip practice to come here and take care of you, and to reteach everything that you missed today.`` he replied nonchalantly, shoving iwaizumi towards the direction of his bedroom. ``go back to bed, i'll cook you some lunch, since i'm sure you didn't eat yet.``

iwaizumi didn't reply, because (a) he was right. and (b) he was shocked that the toorū oikawa skipped volleyball practice for him.

``anyways,`` oikawa said, opening his fridge and scanning its' contents. ``how do you feel about egg?``

``i can eat it. i don't feel nauseous or anything,`` iwa replied, sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen counter. ``and wait- you're going to cook?``

the setter turned around, tying an apron around his waist. ``yeah?``

iwaizumi blinked, shaking his head and leaning down on his forearms. ``nothing. continue. don't burn down my kitchen.``

oikawa grinned, having just been granted permission to make his best friend's food. ``alright! on it, iwa-chan!``

``shut up and start cooking.``

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

``you have to take it, iwa-chan!``

``NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!`` iwaizumi jumped onto his couch, holding a fork towards oikawa like a weapon. ``GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME.``

oikawa let out yet another sigh. ``jeez, if i knew you were going to be this bratty about taking your medicine, i wouldn't have came.`` he took another dangerous step towards iwaizumi, holding out a glass of water and a small cup of liquid cough medicine. ``iwa-chan, if you don't take this, you'll never get better.``

``so? that thing's disgusting.`` iwaizumi fake-retched, the look of disgust on his face almost believable. he should've taken the drama course at school.

another step. ``you seem to have forgotten that i have a kid nephew, who i always got to take his medicine, no matter how big of a tantrum he threw about it.`` another step. ``you're acting like a toddler. just take your medicine and get better.``

``assikawa, if you so as much take one more goddamn step towards me, i'll kill you.`` iwaizumi growled, clenching the fork tighter. of course he wouldn't kill him, he'd just said that to frighten him. somehow, oikawa didn't seemed phased, and took another step.

``hajime iwaizumi. if you don't come down off that couch and take your medicine right now, so help me god, i will bring my mother here and she will be furious when she realizes how much of a tantrum you're putting up right now.`` the setter mused, shaking the glass of water like he was calling him towards him, like a dog. iwaizumi gulped. the aura surrounding oikawa was downright terrifying. his eyes seemed almost lifeless, and it scared the wits out of him. ``on the count of three. if you haven't taken the medicine by then, i'm calling her. one.``

iwaizumi flinched, backing up slightly. could he make it out the front door without oikawa catching him? probably not. his legs were longer, so he'd cover more ground easily.

``two.``

how bad would the punishment be if he just didn't take the medicine? it's not like oikawa would actually call his mother, he wouldn't do that. right?

``three-``

``okay!`` iwaizumi jumped off the couch, grabbing the medicine and pouring it down his throat. he made a face of disgust, snatching the glass of water out of his hand and gulping that down too. he shuddered, trying to force himself to keep the atrocious liquid down. ``there. happy?``

``very.`` oikawa grinned, patting iwaizumi's head. ``good job.``

the ace burned with pride at the praise, letting oikawa's nimble fingers tread through his hair. ``thanks for coming over.``

``of course.`` his friend replied, giving the shorter a warm hug. ``don't mention it. i'll skip practice for you every time.``

``you better not.``

oikawa smiled. ``no promises.``

─── sick day.

chapter 4 !

#oikawa tooru #sickfic #sickness #iwa's sick #iwaizumi hajime #iwaoi #iwaoi fluff

16 notes · View notes

springwritess · 6 years ago

Text

Allergies | Sanji Vinsmoke

anime: one piece

word count: 1826

note: im not allergic to anything but i hate seafood. i could never be a pirate whoops. also the mc here is shy and not assertive just like me irl.

***

It was a beautiful day in the Grand Line. The sun was shining brightly in the sky. The birds were soaring through the clear blue sky. The white puffy clouds were scuttling along. There weren't any signs of marines. It was a calm and peaceful day. Sanji took the opportunity to cut some watermelon for you all - much to your delight. You decided to take a stroll in Nami's tangerine garden. You took a deep breath. The smell of citrus lingered in the atmosphere.

You watched everyone over at the main deck. There was lots of commotion, just like any other day with the StrawHats. Sanji was flirting with Nami. Robin was reading a book. Zoro was taking a nap. Usopp, Chopper and Luffy were all fishing together. They all seemed extremely concentrated. Luffy started to pull on his fishing rod. Chopper and Usopp pulled too to help him. Eventually, what looked to seem a huge crab was on the deck. It was trying to escape, probably because it didn't want to be eaten. Luffy punched it, and it stopped moved around.

"We caught a huge crab today!" Luffy declared proudly.

"How the hell did he catch a crab on a fishing rod?" Nami asked. She rubbed her temples out of annoyance.

"Who cares? Sanji grill it up so we can all eat it." Usopp grinned.

"It looks edible. We should totally eat it!" Chopper added.

You felt your heart drop. You walked down the stairs to the main deck to take a closer look at the crab. Yep it was definitely one. You grimaced. You had an allergic reaction to shellfish. Thankfully, it wasn't

too severe. The last time you ate one was when you were five years old. You ended up with hives, abdominal pain and diarrhea afterwards. You even threw up a few times. You shuddered at the memory. It was a terrible couple days.

Sanji swung the dead crab over his shoulder and headed over to the kitchen. "If everyone wants me to grill it up. I'll go ahead and do that. It seems like a nice day too to have a barbecue outside. Grilled crab legs will taste just fine. I'll be sure to make it extra nice for my sweet Nami, Robin and [first name]."

Luffy, Usopp and Chopper started to run around and shout in excitement. "Barbecue! Barbecue! Barbecue!" They chanted.

Nami snacked them all in the head and told them to quiet down. Zoro was still asleep through all their commotion. You felt your mouth drop. Amazing..

You were hesitant about telling Sanji about your allergy. What kind of pirate is allergic to shellfish? That's a large portion of the sea you weren't able to eat. It was pathetic. You were usually able to avoid shellfish because Sanji would cook up other foods, but today you guys were just having that huge crab your captain caught. It would probably last for days. You felt sick to your stomach.

"Are you doing okay [first name]? Do you need a checkup?" Chopper trotted over and asked you.

You shook your head and forced a smile. "I'm okay Chopper. Don't worry about me. I'm excited about the barbecue."

He was hesitant about leaving you, but then relented and joined the others to create some more ruckus.

Sanji brought out the pieces of crab and the huge barbecue grill. He also brought garlic butter sauce with him. He turned the grill on. The thick metal rods started to turn red hot. You started to feel nauseous again. You watched the cook place the pieces of crab legs on the grill swiftly. After they were finished grilling, he drizzled the garlic butter sauce on top. You watched as he cut the fruit up swiftly and excellently. He was fast with those fingers. He cut up some more fresh fruit and made some more fruit skewers. He poured everyone some alcohol into glasses.

Sanji hung his jacket over the chair. He tie was also removed. He removed the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled the soft tendrils of smoke. He seemed to noticed your gaze. You've been watching him prepare the food for awhile now. You didn't seem to notice him standing right in front of you now.

"Is everything alright [first name]?" He asked softly.

You shook your head. "I'm fine don't worry about me. I can't wait for the food!"

"It's just about ready actually. I'll serve you first."

"No fair! I wanted to get my food first!" Luffy shouted.

"Shut up! Nami, Robin and [first name] get to eat first. The rest of you idiots can wait."

Sanji handed you your plate first. Your stomach lurched. The smell brought back some terrible memories, but you couldn't say you no. You felt bad as stupid as it seemed. You've only been on the crew for a month. The last thing you wanted was to cause trouble for the others. Sanji was a nice guy and went through all that trouble for you.

You gulped. You decided not to touch the crab and instead started to munch on the fruit. The juices spilt forth and quenched your thirst. You continued to munch on them and talked with the others. Everyone was shouting and singing.

"Are you not hungry [first name]? You haven't touched your crab legs. I can have them if you want."

Luffy said. Before you could answer, he reached over to try and take them.

Sanji smacked his arm away. "Don't touch them you idiot! It's for [first name]!"

"I'm okay really. I'm not a fan of crab anyway." You said.

"Come on you can't say that without even trying it." Zoro said. It seemed like the swordsman finally woke up from his nap to eat.

"I agree. Sanji's cooking is really something! Meals are something we all look forward too now." Nami added. "Just take a bite."

Everyone's eyes were on you. The pressure of eating was starting to get to you. Your stomach lurched again. The nausea clawed at your throat, and you tried forced it down the bile. You took a piece of crab and took a bite. Your tastebuds danced in delight. They were right. It's delicious. You finished the whole piece.

"It's amazing. Wow Sanji you're really talented aren't y-" Your voice was cut off from a fit of coughing. Your stood up from where you were sitting. Your chest started to ache. Your eyes started to water. Your breathing hitched. They became more and more shallow.

You lost the colour from your face. You swayed for just a moment before you felt a pair of arms catch you and lower you to the ground. The whole world started to spin, and everything became pitch black.

***

You could hear the worried voices around you, but you weren't able to make out the words at first. Eventually, you started to hear familiar voices.

"Is she okay?"

"Your food is killing her that's what's happening."

"Shut up mosshead! Are you trying to pick a fight?"

"Can I finish the rest of her food?"

"How could you say that? You're the captain! If you're going to be useless, then I'll take charge. Captain Usopp demands you help [first name]!"

"Everyone get out! I'm the doctor and I need to treat her!"

You finally came to and saw a blurry figure standing before you. It was a reindeer. You looked closely to realize it was Chopper. He was treating you.

"Don't get up. I'm still making the medicine to treat your hives. They're all over your arms."

You laid back down and felt your stomach lurch again. This time you couldn't hold back the nausea. You ran for somewhere to contain all your vomit. This time it was Usopp's bag. He left it in infirmary when he was in there earlier.

Chunks of partially digested crab spewed out of your coughing, choking mouth. Your stomach kept on contracting violently and forcing everything up and out. Your face was white and dripping bile, sweat, and tears. Your lurched forward and sunk to your knees. The pungent stench invaded your nostrils and you heaved even though there was nothing left to go.

"I'm sorry. I was allergic. Everyone seemed excited so I was afraid to say anything. All I did was cause everyone more trouble..." You said softly, choking back the tears. You were so embarrassed. You felt pathetic. Vomiting and collapsing like that.

There was a puff of smoke that appeared in the room. You glanced up to see the cook standing at the doorway. You looked away in embarrassment. It was probably him who caught you anyway.

"You really worried us you know. I thought you were a goner. I'm glad Chopper is here to help you out. I'm also glad I was able to catch you too." He smiled.

You rolled your eyes but a smile crept on your face. "The crab..it tasted good. I wouldn't mind trying it again."

Sanji chuckled. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and stepped on it so the fire would go out. He walked over to you. He squatted down since you were on for floor. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, gently rubbing your arm. Despite the queasiness in your stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against his. You sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the room warmer somehow, you felt much better.

"Get better soon alright? I'm sorry about that [first name]. I didn't want to hurt you. From now on, don't hesitate to tell us anything. We're friends now." He whispered in your ear.

You hugged him tighter and slowly nodded. "Okay. I will. Don't worry."

The door was swung open as the sniper stepped in. He gasped at Sanji and you hugging each other. Sanji immediately let go. He glared at Usopp and he gulped. "Hate to ruin the sweet moment. But where's my bag? I left it in here didn't I?"

You handed him the bag. "Here it is. I threw up in it though."

He stared at the bag in utter disbelief. "How could you! It had all my weapons in here." He screamed.

"It'll be fine. I'll make it up to you later at the next island. Now get out. Sanji and I were talking."

Usopp stormed out of the room. "Talking huh. It seemed like there was more action than talking." He grumbled.

A bead of sweat appeared on the side of the reindeer’s face. He stood there and rubbed his head sheepishly. "Everyone's forgetting I'm here..."

60 notes · View notes