#IM SAD BC THEYRE SO RIGHT
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what if i threw up
I love both my wives but ashley could have survived the quarry and abigail could not have survived until dawn
#IM SAD BC THEYRE SO RIGHT#it’s making me emotional rn i am being so normal about this#bc that’s… what happened at the firepit. that’s literally what happened#the majority of them ganged up on her over something so fucking stupid and undeserved#abis so very clearly on the outside of this group and i think everyone picks up on it#and ofc it’s the most autistic coded girl right? GOD#anyway sorry op i think you’re right. but tbf i’d say the majority of TQ kids wouldn’t survive UD fnjsjf#rbs#text#ashley brown#abigail blyg#TQ#UD
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love these outfits a lot
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#my art#SO SAD you can only get them in sa2b. i want to dress up in singleplayer without mods!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway i did steal some bits from their sss designs like the headsets bc i think theyre cool#working on my own versions of this idea#+ outfit for rouge+amy as well :D#i feel like im finally getting shadows hair right everyone clap for me!!!!!!!!
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I've decided the only reason Lloyd, known descendant of dragons, didn't tell this to Egalt, who refuses to train non-dragons, is for the same reason he never mentioned he's the First Spinjitsu Master's grandson. It just never came up. Nobody asked him directly about it. And besides, he's only like, one-fourth dragon, so does it really count? He doesn't look like a dragon, and he has never in his life considered himself a dragon. Mentioning his ancestry to Egalt probably would've just made him look like some hotshot, or make him more annoyed. There's no need to bring up such a silly little fact. He's sure it won't be important later.
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#lego ninjago#dragons rising#lloyd garmadon#first spinjitsu master#egalt#text post#talk#dragon lloyd garmadon#the real likelihood is that the writers just quietly brushed that little fact aside (im so sad abt it)#but i think its infinietly funnier that lloyd went down the spinjitsu master route#it just never came up. no one asked. and hes not a COMPLETE dragon so like. why bother telling egalt#the whole time i was waiting for egalt & rontu to b like 'WHO in their SPINJITSUDAMED MIND trained you'#and theyre just like 'oh this guy named sensei wu hes lloyds uncle hes like a master' & egalt is like 'sounds like bs'#then arin as a huge nerd pipes up like 'AND HES THE FSM'S GRANDSON :D'#to which rontu and egalt break their necks whirling around like 'THIS SCRAWNY LITTLE PUNK IS W H A T'#egalt straight up refuses to believe it. rontu is very quickly doing the math & freaking out abt it#wherever these guys are from it might not even be ninjago so like they might not even know the fsm had sons#rontu: im sorry. so youre the grandson. you are aware your grandfather was half dragon half oni. right?#egalt in the background 'THAT BOY IS N O T A DRAOGN I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT'#lloyd blinking owlishly like 'oh yeah i guess so. im only like 1/4th tho'#'BOY YOU ARE 1/4 OF ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL DRAGONS IN FCKING EXISTANCE'#'YOU ARE THE GRANDSON OF MY GREAT-GREAT GRANDMASTER'#the midlife crisis these dragons would have. the crisis the kids would have realizing this#lloyd now cannot go 3 minutes without someone asking 'is there any world-shattering fun facts abt yrself you wanna share'#the fun part is that lloyd forgets all of those informations bc its like. a normal day for him#no one tell wyldfyre she'll flip
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out of time
#undertale yellow#uty#meta flowey#utysd#meroyah#premaposting#flowey#hehe deploy jack stauber#i have this funny idea that every fight starts commotion right#so theres a timer until flowey's like wait a minute and sees you#this is what i meant by that one post#guys he blind not stupid#im a concept person i barely have video game creation knowledge. just enough for a side scroller#i wish i can lock in but college boutta hit me like a truck man. ima lready struggling with physics a lil#oh yeah back to surviving death uh. i need to draw meroyah more#man i sure do wish souls lost parts of them like blood or smth when hit bc blood splatter would make this look cooler#oh yeah theyre not sad about clover possibly dying. thats angry tears. clover is dead.#meroyah joining the team is unlikely purely because they cannot stop fighting. if they do then theyll repeat the mistake...their oversight#the oversight that caused their death. his death. flowey's first death. asriel's death#but im find out how to make it happen.
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Ride 747: Sugimoto's back
Pag 1
1: His spirit trained them, and now his back sees them off
Pag 2
1: Those who won just look forward.....
Pag 3
1: Danchiku has won this race!!
2: Since they arrived at the same time on the second day, three of their races ended in a draw
3: And the fourth, the last lap with the ban on surpassing....
5: Showing an astounding tenacity, he held Sugimoto down and got the better of the final sprint before the finish line...
Pag 4
1: The second year Danchiku Ryuuhou obtained the jersey of the Inter High members!!
Pag 5
1: Ruaaaa!!
2: Yes!!
3: Let's go to the Inter High together!!
Hahaha, Danchiku!!
4: Danchiku-kun....
5: Ah!
Sugimoto-kun....
Pag 7
4: Sugimoto!!
Sugimoto!!
Imaizumi-kun
Pag 8
1: Nii-chan!!
Sugimoto fell!!
2: What was the crash just now.... huh!?
Huh
3: Sugimoto-san!?
He swayed.... and fell down as if he completely lost his tsrength!!
Is he conscious!?
Is he alright!? Sugimoto-kun
With that fall...
Pag 9
1: Sugimoto!!
6: Are you okay? Do you need ice water? Do you want a towel?
Pag 10
1: Imaizumi-kun....
Hotshot....
2: Did you give everything you had?
4: It....
5: It.... sure... seems like it
6: ….. everything
Pag 11
1: When I saw.... Danchiku from behind.... and I saw him raising his hand.... I don't know why but....suddenly... all my strength.... left me
5: It was a run that made us shake, an all-out sprint that captivated those who were watching you
6: You were cool
7: Could you.... pour some ice water on me
Pag 12
2: It made me shake too....!!
I felt the strength of Sugimoto-kun's wishes!!
It was the best run ever!!
3: So cold... it feels...so nice
4: Imaizumi
5: Yeah
6: Teru
Pag 13
2: Huh!? No... that's... that's
3: Teru?
4: Imaizumi... maybe, if on the fourth day... I go all out
5: If I get to go to the Inter High....
6: Could you call me “Teru”?
Ah? Why- ah, Teru as in... Terufumi?
7: No, no, well, it's just an idea!! I'll ask you again on the fourth day, yes!!
8: It doens't matter how I call you
You- you're right, it doesn't matter
9: But I'll ask you! Imaizumi
Please call me Teru from now on!!
Let's fight together in our last Inter High!
If I win...
Pag 14
2: That was supposed to happen if I had won...
It doesn't matter...
4: Thank you
5: Imaizumi....
6: Imaizumi
7: Please
Pag 15
2: Ride with my feeling of three years too
4: To the Inter High
Pag 16
1: Go there, Imaizumi!!
Pag 17
1: Got it, Teru!!
3: Sugimoto-kun.... you pushed Imaizumi-kun's!!!
4: Back!!
5: Danchiku!!
Pag 18
3: You too!!
Be resolved!!
4: Yessir!!
Pag 19
1: Thank you much for this all-out race!!
Thank you!!
2: Nii-chan!! On
Ah... Sadatoki...
3: I'm sorry, I wanted to show you something cool, but
4: I los....
5: Um... well, how do I say... if I put it into words, then that's it...
I los...
6: Imaizumi, could you give me the towel
Pag 20
1: Uaaaaa, I lost
Pag 21
1: I lost, I lost!
2: Uaaaaa
3: You fought by yourself, and you never gave up, over and over
Sugimoto, today you were the strongest
4: Dammit, I'm so frustrated too
Can't you do something about it, Onoda!?
5: Sugimoto did his best! And without doing anything wrong, too!!
Pag 22
1: On the fourth day of training camp, at 19:10 of the last day, the third year Sugimoto Terufumi.... with 45km out of 1000km left, retired
2: “Retirement race”....
Pag 23
1: Imaizumi, Naruko, and Onoda cleared the laps they had left
2: At 19:50, with plenty of time left, they cleared the whole 1000km
3: The two second years, Danchiku and Kaburagi, cooperated and cleared the whole 1000km, too
The other first and second years decided to retire early and ran errands
Pag 24
1: On the course
2: Remained two people, the first year Kinaka Tsugunao and Rokudai Renta
#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 747#so is yowapeda a shoujo now asdghasdjhsgf#sugimoto may have lost the race but he did win Imaizumi's heart#the real win was the boyfriend we got along the way#NO BUT SERIOSULY THIS CHAP WAS THE MOST TENDER THING EVER WTF#gently stroking your buddy's cheek and calling him a cute nickname is pretty gay imaizumi did you know that#i didnt even know imaizumi could be THIS SWEET#THEYRE SO CUTE ;A;#but also#there's many pages in this chap that really fckin HURT#sugimotooooo ;A;#im SO SAD for him#but also so happy bc yk theyre dating now right#(im saying this as the biggest imanaru shipper eh i want to make it clear lmao)#(watanabe has the talent of making me ship every single possible ship#theyre all a little canon after all)#(yowapeda sure is a multishipper's heaven)#but anyway!! next chap we're going back to my babies!!!!#And the question still stands: what if both of them complete the 1000km what then#why should danchiku go instead of both of them#or what if neither of them finish the 1000km so none of them can go#what then WHAT THEN#i said it already but this whole thing makes no sense when theres 2 spots left on the team saghdjas
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6/8 … want to cuddle
#my art#6/8#ahahaha theyre so cute#freak tags ahead…#6 knows exactly what 8 is doing#but also !!! looks really cute#thinking something like… its ok if its just cuddling…#<- 6 is losing her mind tbh#she knows she should not be indulging like this….#she wants 8 to be happy though and she knows 8 likes her… doesnt want to reject bc then 8 would be sad…#it’s for 8’s happiness and not her own guilty indulgence totally…!#she’s being a kind teacher … right …#6 probably gives in and just starts headpatting 8 and letting her stay there haha#8 is super giddy about this (and 6 is back to thinking jfhfhd she’s cute…)#Ok freaks over#tbh this one was actually pretty fluffy…#but its still freak considering the ship haha …#cute freaks r really fun to play with… and when one of them guilty af …#i love freak yuri …#im … dying …
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I need to try harder to get out of bed but augh
#🤖.txt#aghhfjg i really need to catch up on sleep. but i also want to do stuff but idk. this is dumb but nothing i do really feels worth the effor#anymore. Thinking like this is sad bc drawing is one of the few things i like doing and make me happy but idk#i might just go back to the way things were before. Just wait for the weekend and spend as much time drawing then#genuinely dont want to do anything at all this is so frustrating and im so tired and sad all the time#i know i should be using my break to focus on studying but with what time#Idkkkk i just really hate living like this#thinking about dropping out again but that would just mean house chores + babysitting full time while job hunting and idk if i can handle#that. I cant handle anything anymore and this is making me so sad . I want to be useful and do so many things but i reached my limit months#ago. I just wanted a week or two to just rest its all i need . But i know im never gonna get that again and at this point i might as well#just die but i cant do that neither bc i have shit to do#Everyone is always talking about how i have it so easy and how things are just gonna get worse bc they think me being home = me not doing#anything and idk. I cant take anything anymore and i think the most upsetting part of this is that i know theyre right#im not doing barely anything and i dont know. How to do more im just useless and ungrateful for the things i have#Really stressed and tired and literally nothing happened. Its gonna be 2pm soon and im supposed to wake up Earlier#But yeagh. this wasnt supposed to be this wall of text i just wanted to say that i might give up on art again for a while#aughhh i dont know how to do anything right idk how to live or take care of myself how am i supposed to raise someone .#this is. too much i think. I reallyyyyy need to relearn how to just talk to myself . I cant keep dropping these everyday and being . This t#evsryone around me. Everyone in my life deserves so much better than ill ever be#vent
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its been so long since human content/new content with no book relevancy even the youtubers and theorists like dawko and john are getting restless😭
#dawko going its not gonna happen steel wool right over glamfred and rhe humans not coming back#and john going 'im... totally okay with that happening 😐' about mimics story being spoiled in the books 2 years before sotm#like dude even theyre feeling it#dawko would love a fnaf game about absolutely nothing so his excitment about sotm makes sense#but its refreshing seeing john actually criticize it bc it deserves to be even if it was really tame and not really explicitly said#we understand and its just. so nice seeing someone like john actually aware of how stupid it id#instead of everyone being okay with it and not criticizing it for some reason#even tho it kind of sucks#like john is one of the last surviving theorists and a big figure in the community#seeing him actually not shy away from at least implying he thinks its bad and dumb in a video is just.#soo refreshing#like so many times i felt like i was insane for disliking all the mimic theories before ruin came out#i thought it was boring. mimic is a book villain#its so sad seeing john try to actually theorize about mimic in an interesting way with a satisfuing narrative that isnt just c&p#but it just turns out that actually yeah. its game is a rerun of its book lore that came out years ago#and we spent three entire years foreshadowing and teasing 'carnival' in games to hype this game up and its just c&p book lore nothing new#except the new shit being like. stuff about OG freddys and og characters which. are not explaining the mimics backstory#its just like whyy did they do it like this. and they shafted basically every single thing else to do it for years#no wonder dawko is starting to actually joke about them never bringing them back and john is implying his distaste#pandas.txt#discourse#sorryyyyy#its just like i think about sotm and im like i dont need to be that hard on it. theres nothing inherently wrong with a game explaining#mimics backstory#and then i remember how it was spoiled 2 years earlier in the books and everybody already knows its story and theres nothing#new about the mimic in this game save for a random new form#and im like yeah nevermind its okay to be critical about it they somehow handled the mimics story in the worst way possible#up to this point#like if youre a fan of literally anything else in the story youll resent mimic at least a little bit for how much it hijacked everything#even all mimic fans are getting are reruns of shit they already know
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...
#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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ok i just watched dff ep 11 and i. am going insane.
#i cannot piece together A Thought right now bc holy fuck SO MUCH happened in the last like 10-20 mins of that ep#my only thought is that it seems the finale is going to be v much based on each character's fears#as ig theyre all currently knocked out on hallucinogenics#im. I STILL NEED TO KNOW WTF FLUKE'S DEAL IS#and it looks like white rly is just sweet bby boy :(((#never thought id feel so fhckin sad for tee#everyone's theories about non were (maybe??? seemed pretty real) proved wrong#new/tan rly is unhinged as all fuck#phee truly stuck himself into a serious moral dilemma#mad kudos to barcode as usual#big fuckin kudos to all of them tbf#also im still a weeee bit confused abt perth lmao#there were all these big theories but like unless he shows up or does smth in the last ep...#idk i felt like he didnt add a lot to the story in this ep??#wow i lied apparently i did have thoughts#dff#dff the series#dead friend forever
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little man is so cute hes been coming to me for help sounding out words and i taught him a 'trick' so he doesnt forget them on his way back. the trick is just 'repeat the letters while youre walking back so you dont forget' but hes treating me like im the smartest person on the planet for coming up with this
#and it also means i can hear him chanting P O T I O N the entire way back to his room#its sweet im glad he comes 2 me for spelling help... hes honestly rly good its just some tricky ones that get him where its like. the ones#you just have to memorize how theyre spelled bc sounding out doesnt help#like heavy or potion. bc heavy just has an eh sound so he didnt know abt the a and potion has a sh sound so the t was unexpected#but hes rly good at sounding it out and like. it just makes me a bit sad bc my dad gets so snappy when weeman asks for help w spelling#like. he does the sound it out but my dad just has this like. Tone. and he cant just be like. calm#hell be like No thats not right and its like ok this isnt helping#its so easy to just be like Oh i see why you thought that but its actually a bit of a trick one...#like. its not that hard to just sympathize with it and little man responds so well to it like. just saying like Oh yeah i mess up on that#one too. makes him way more likely to keep asking for help and it doesnt make him feel like hes being insulted or anything. IDK#my dads better w that aspect w weeman than he was with tag but im still like. Can we please just treat the kids like ppl worthy of respect#Please itis not that fucking hard .
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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i cant get over how absolutely insane satosugu is...gege was born to write yaoi forced to write shounen
#sorry i remembered hidden inventory arc n im insane about them again :(( SAD LITTLE GAY PEOPLE IN MY PHONE!!!#nah but it just...OUGHHH they make me so upset!!!#its just they way they start out immediately understanding each other bc gojo has been alone on a pedestal basically his entire life+#but then he meets geto who treats him like a normal dude!!! not a weapon!!! and just watching them annoy each other as normal teens +#makes me emotional bc theres so much cruelty and just DEATH in their world but at the least they have each other to get through it!!!#theyre the strongest together after all right!!! then toji happens and gojo starts to perfect his abilities with him automating infinity#and then the gap between the two just gets wider and wider...until the final confrontation where the one who understood gojo all this time#not only leaves him but calls him arrogant at the same time showing gojo the ONLY person who he though understood just..doesnt+#and hes left alone again in the same place he was years ago...AND OUGHHHHH#idk i watched a video analysis of hidden inventory where the guy said geto was just as egotistical as gojo except in having a savior comple#and tbh i never though of that before!! but looking back it makes sense with how he spoke to riko + the way he slaughtered the whole villag#to not just save the girls but also prove to himself that he could make the world he wanted#the guy in the video put it basically that since the gap between gojo and geto was so wide geto would rather be the best villain+#than second best hero and that makes a lot of sense since his ideals/goals as a villain go against his usual rational behavior#he KNOWS its probably impossible (for him at least it wouldnt be for gojo which he admits) but he has to do it for himself#sorry im rambling but AHHHHHH how tf did gege write this??? its such a small part of the story but its arguably the catalyst for everything#aside from plot wise it simply just is impactful emotionally! gege had to go thru a toxic codependent homoerotic friendship to write this+#theres just no other way#jjk#jujustu kaisen#gojo satoru#geto suguru#satosugu
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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i could cry bitch i could cry (positive)
#theyre literally abt to implement cross progression in de4d by daylight right as im thinking abt switching to pc for that game#and i was so sad bc i am a sucker and ive spent a non insignificant amount of money on this game#thank you omg how did sony allow this 😭😭😭💖#its fine that its not here rn bc i need to practice with kb&m#aiming and using camera is obv easier with a mouse but i cant find keys on a keyboard without looking so. i have to learn#when i opened the game for the 1st time in years yesterday i noticed that the changes a long time ago made it so like none of my characters#are leveled anymore so the progression is not so important. its all the dlc and cosmetics 😝
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fully aware this is probably a pretentious opinion to have but im not really moved by secretly a robot stories yk. like the idea of moving to a no-longer-human state and constantly longing for genuine human experience or human umwelt (computer/sensory interface, as it were) and how significant and special and privileged the human experience is and how alien and foreign and wrong it must be to interface the world as a nonhuman thing. idk i just dont buy the idea that because a thing is nonhuman it must be inherently alien or hellish to experience. but imo thats not super relevant--when i try to think about story types i try to ask like, what is actually being communicated through the central metaphor of the narrative and as close i can figure the secret robot is about belonging and alienation and the dissociation thereof. which is fine theres lots of story types that do this but the secret robot just doesnt speak to me . i dunno. i dont gel with the idea that if you dont 'belong' your whole existence centers around how much you would (should) want to it feels like at some point the secret robot would simply have to live its life right. why are there never proud and noble communities of robots who refuse their dubious connections to humanity and assert their own umwelt as worthwhile huh. but then i feel im asking questions outside the story types ability to answer and totally missing the point. it just doesnt work for me
#myposts#i will concede that this is probably related to me seeing the human unwelt as an inescapable curse so grain of salt#i know the secret robot is very popular w trans people bc of its ability to inhabit dysphoria#smth smth wearing a false skin etc#but it really just has never captured it for me! i dunno!#i dont hate it conceptually but ive never seen it done in a way where im not kiiiiiiinda rolling my eyes#at how self important it is for a human to write a story about how the human experience is the only kind of#experience that really matters or even really exists. and then of course i think about how#conditional the category of human actually is historically speaking but i recognize thats probably too far#either way i think ultimately these stories rest far too much on like. longing for normalcy even as#youre asked to inhabit someone who has only been dispossessed by it. and i cant bring myself to care that much#not to be too harsh but like. theyre kinda assimilationist stories right. or tragedies about the impossibility of assimilation#which is sad because i guess. who wouldnt want to assimilate. i dont buy it
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