#IM NOT MEAN OR EGOISTIC OR ANYTHING I JUST DONT HAVE TIME AND ENERGY TO BE ACTIVE ON BOTH SO YO IF U WANNA UM IDK ANYTHING DM ME ON MY MAIN
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#yes im a fucking spammer didnt u know#thats why i have link for every single member in my bio so u can find whoever u want#why did i say this is it related to my first tag#who am i talking to#im talking to you and me#what#btw lemme ask u real quick what amount of gifs a day is not annoying? also do u know that i post every week day at 00^15 00^30 etc#per day*#i mean my timezone aka gmt+3 i guess#BTW IDK WHAT TO DO I USUALLY ONLY POST GIFS HERE AND DONT INTERACT AT ALL BUT I INTERACT ON MY MAIN BUT NO ONE HERE KNOWS ABOUT IT#IM NOT MEAN OR EGOISTIC OR ANYTHING I JUST DONT HAVE TIME AND ENERGY TO BE ACTIVE ON BOTH SO YO IF U WANNA UM IDK ANYTHING DM ME ON MY MAIN#CUZ I USE THIC BLOG ONLY FROM PC AND ITS SO LAGGY I JUST CANT DEAL WITH THIS SHIT#why am ikeep writing it ? oh bc i want to i never do this but you can handle this for once dont you#i mean have you seen dms from desktop version its lame af bro but yo i dont mind asks and shit bc its more convenient to answer them from pc#ok im out have a nice day/night/week/life#m:text#oh my god i feel so pathetic again bc of all this writing but its gonna be ok
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(Sorry bit long)
To the anon who encouraged us to not give up, thank you so much.. I literally just thought of "what if I can't achieve my career, what If can't become who I want to be."
I know Tarot kind of contradicts the Law of Assumption (which is why I'm leaving it behind now, and I'm becoming more focused on how I do have control over my fate and reality) But Tarot reads more of energy, and its not set in stone.
Last night I got a reading about my future career that I wouldn't be in my desired position, and I gave feedback saying well I'd appreciate it if I was in a leadership position since I like leading others in a good way. I'll admit I may have sounded too "proud" which is my ego that I'm aware of. The person replied and said I may be better under someone's control because I get too focused on one area instead of seeing the big picture. I agreed with it, because it was true. I do tend to do that, and I also admit I have a big ego which is something I'm trying to balance. Before you judge the reader or me, I really did appreciate the criticism. It made me more aware of what I could focus on. Plus I know energies aren't set in stone and are always changing.
This did get me thinking of "what if I really can't achieve my career".. "what if I'm too egoistic? What if I'm too childish and can't keep my cool?" I was concerned. Then I saw this and anon telling us to not give up. You can achieve anything, since the future does not exist. Only the present exists. The reason why we think the future exists is because of thoughts and assumptions. The past does not exist, if we didn't have memories, the past would not exist. This is why revision works, it's because we can trick our subconscious mind.
I'm gonna stop here before the post gets too long, it was supposed to be more of an appreciation post. Thank you.
i am so glad that post found you at the right time !! :) you are anything you want to be, so i know you are successful. i cant wait to read your success story one day. 💖
tbh, something you said relates to something ive thought about and so i’ll say it here. but its ultimately unrelated to the point of your ask. and i know you already said youre leaving tarot behind, so this truly isnt directed at you. its just my general thoughts lately and you brought the subject up on my blog so why not share :)
when it comes to tarot, astrology, and all those other tools i actually think its imperative to let them go. i fully get how people tend to hide under the guise of, “well its just reflecting ME” (its the truth, so yes its entirely fair to say) and i even used to say that too so i didnt step on toes. when it comes to knowing in relation to the law, we often say we know things, but we only get it intellectually. we dont know it to be true on a feeling level, and that makes all the difference.
until you have ACTUALLY fully taken understanding that you are the only cause and only ever will be the only cause of your experiences, theres no point to keep relying on those tools in that way. if youre living in the end why would you check to see what the cards or stars have to say about your “current” condition ? as far as im concerned you should already know your current condition — youre in the state of the wish fulfilled and youre staying faithful to it. through your loyalty, it hardens into fact. that is your confirmation, that is your “check in” of where you’re headed. youve already seen it in your mind’s eye.
what happens is we dont let those things go (we dont buy the pearl) and on a level we keep second causes alive. its a subtle level but its there regardless. we keep giving our power away, even if its subtle. neville said you have to die to the old story completely — what are we doing keeping the old story alive ? we used to love those “tools” because it was a second cause that gave us hope or direction, no ? what do we actually get in contuining to turn to them, when we only need to turn within for answers ?
now if you truly enjoy those things, return to them when you have bought the pearl and feel stable in your belief that you are the one and only creator. then go have fun with those things, knowing how they truly dont mean anything at all.
from my experience, and thats the only experience i can truly speak of, is that understanding your role as being the ONLY cause of your reallty is imperative to this journey. when you want to stop manifesting things here and there, and want to manifest a beautiful lifestyle effortlessly… you will buy the pearl and fully step into your power.
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SONGS I ASSOCIATE THE SEVENTEEN MEMBERS WITH
I'll make this into a tag game ksksksks
List songs in your playlist and strictly on your phone playlist which you associate the Seventeen members with! It's up to you if u wanna add an explanation!
Tagging: @serriannah, @shuasvteen, @woozisnoots, @shoshishua + everyone who wants to do it!!
Seungcheol
• Raise Your Flag - Man with a Mission
• Epiphany - Taylor Swift
Seungcheol reminds me of Orga from MSG: Iron Blooded Orphans and Jihoon as Mikazuki (if u watched it ull know), but he's the leader, the one who'll "raise the flag" and sing the battle cry or something . On the other hand, Seungcheol is also soft and vulnerable, which matches well with Epiphany, which talks about moments of dreaming before the battle.
Jeonghan
• Angel of Mine - Monica
• Bad Boy, Good Man - Tape Five
Oh this guy,,, yeah he's an Angel but sometimes...not. Jeonghan is a caring person and a really good listener, which makes him truly an angel. But c'mon let's face it this guy is mischievous 😂 which is why i listed the second song,,, he has this suave, playboy like aura skksks just listen to the second song, you'll get it.
Joshua
• Time Machine - Goosehouse
• La Vie En Rose
Joshua to me is like a calming energy,,, he kinda looks like a really pastel kind of person 😂 that's why i picked "light-toned" songs! And these are quite acoustic songs for our guitar man. No. I wont pick generic Sunday Morning
Jun
• 戀愛ing - 五月天
• Lovely Icecream Princess Sweetie - Egoist
Jun to me is a sweet child 😂 he reminds me of the feeling I have when I watch Kung Fu Hustle or any Stephen Chow movie ksksks that's why I picked the first song bc it's a really funny and cute song!! The second one reminds me that even though he's like a child, he can still be quite sexy and alluring! It's an upbeat song which is actually perfect for dancing!
Soonyoung
• All Star - Smash Mouth
• Sugar Song & Bitter Step - Unison Square Garden
Ahhhh this guy....he makes me laugh so much I have to list songs that make me laugh 😂 the first one i remember hearing on Shrek,, the second song is fantastic (it's an ending song for an anime and the animation for it is such a fun and energetic dance,,, probably one of the best anime endings) I wish I can list Eye of the Tiger but I dont have it on my phone :((
Wonwoo
• Utakata Hanabi - Supercell
• Cardigan - Taylor Swift
After I heard Wonwoo say that he likes IU songs, I just associate him now with ballads or slow songs 😂 These songs are both lovely and soft and dramatic 😂 Wonwoo to me is that kind of person!
Jihoon
• All the Small Things - Blink182
• Saturday Night Waltz - Aaron Copland performed on piano by Anderson & Roe
Alright the first song...it's not alluding to anything ok!! It's rock but has a warm and touching lyrics that matches well with Jihoon's rough exterior but is really soft and sentimental in the inside. Also, I wouldn't let it pass not to add a classical music piece in this list!! And ofc i'll give it to Jihoon bc he's the one who was classically trained in music,,, and this piece is actually beautiful!!
Minghao
• Royals - Lorde
• Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
Hao has this mysterious and dark vibe with him that reminds me of a Fae Prince or something 😂 that's why i picked these two songs where i think reflects his classy taste on things and his rather reflective kind of personality despite the brooding vibe 😂
Mingyu
• Gorgeous - Taylor Swift
• Back For You - One Direction
I mean this guy is idol material,,, gorgeous and cheesy to his fans 😂😂😂 ill let the songs explain themselves
Seokmin
• Defying Gravity - Wicked
• Summer Sunshine - The Corrs
DK to me is literal sunshine!!!! That's why I picked the second song!! It's upbeat , energetic and fun!! I picked the first song bc of how he had already performed in a musical, of how im sure he can perfect this song, and how he has literally defied gravity with his talents and hardwork!!!
Seungkwan
• FLY HIGH!! - Burnout Syndromes
• Mr. Chu - A-Pink
Well....Seungkwan is huge a volleyball fan and I'm pretty sure he had watched Haikyuu in some way or another 😂 but I do think the story of Hinata matches him quite well!! And with Mr. Chu...well he did sing this song,,, and i also heard this song in a clip of idol room 😂😂😂
Vernon
• Waltz of Anomalies (cover) - (Vocaloid) Kamikita Ken
• Daybreak Frontline Rap Cover - (Vocaloid) Fantastic Youth
I picked songs which are sorta niche, and no one used to mainstream music would probably heard of these songs, which reminds me of how Vernon can be quite "niche"... he's different and eccentric sometimes and u dont know what's going on in his head 😂 but if u get to know him, u'll be fascinated and intrigued! Just like these songs!!
Chan
• Dinosaur - AKMU
• Me! - Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie
The first one is a joke i'll admit that lmaoooooo but it's such a nice song by akmu 😂 with the second song, dino often reminds me of my cousin who wants just a little bit of attention, and this song is really perfect like...just with the lyrics "there's no awesome without me"....well....
That's all!! Thank you for coming to my tedtalk sksjhdjshs i mostly had alt rock/anime songs in my phone so there's that 😂😂😂
I really had fun with this tho!!! I hope u guys would try it too!!
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30 utapri questions!
Thanks @dekiaibadchoices for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme!
1. Your best boy?
BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE
2. Your least favorite boy?
“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen!
3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?
mnmnj ranran tbh
4. A character you can relate to in any way?
I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art?
5. A character that you think deserves more love?
Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans
6. A character you would want as your partner?
well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao)
(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol)
7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?
I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai
(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer )
8. Your favorite ship?
shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out
(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.)
(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club)
9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?
I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so
I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself.
10. Favorite side character?
TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG
11. Your favorite solo song?
god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ???
12. Your favorite duet song?
HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance!
13. Your favorite trio song?
Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic
14. Your favorite group song?
mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss
15. Your least favorite song?
I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs.
16. Your favorite singer?
ranran...it’s always ranran...
(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3)
17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?
god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...)
i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!!
18. Your favorite member of Starish?
they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you???
19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?
what do you fuckin think, hoss
20. Your favorite member of Heavens?
I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!!
21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?
Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much???
(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda)
22. Favorite Drama CD?
HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too.
I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best.
23. Your favorite shining live card?
CAN’T PICK
HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH
24. Your favorite song beatmap?
Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind!
25. Your least favorite song beatmap?
A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.
26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?
Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking .........
and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!)
27. Utapri merch that you own/want?
Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line!
28. How did you get into Utapri?
I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.
29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?
This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough!
I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao.
30. Why do you love your best boy?
Oh boy.
I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point )
But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.
And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say.
Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around!
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my sonic characters: a masterpost
I’ll add more whenever i get new info on characters and so on sakjsak
I used to have more but i gave some of them away so i dont feel like i should mention them here (even if those designs are not in use anymore)
[edit 4/20/2019 (haha) added nexus and links to character tags]
1) Saph the hedgehog
This is Saph. He’s a 18/19 year old disaster gay trans boy.
I change his shoe design literally every single time i draw him. :)
I’ll go in depth about his past later.
Saph is pretty much all over the place and forgets to be considerate of other peoples feelings sometimes. He might come off as very egoistic of self centered, but he does actually care in his own kind of way (even when its. kinda bad bc he gives off wrong signals sometimes and ends up hurting people hes close to)
He’s looked up to Sonic ever since he was small and he collects all of the Sonic comics and video games. His dream is to meet Sonic and win against him in a fight.
Shadow is his big idol in many things so he tries to be edgy sometimes or act tough but he fails miserably most of the time and makes a fool of himself; which he doesn’t really mind because he can take a lot of things with humour (sometimes too much). He also uses white eye liner to imitate shadows marks, and he dyes some parts of his fur white to make the marks he already has extend to look more like shadows.
Shadow was the person that taught him how to control his chaos powers, because he’d always just weakened himself in the past, because he is super unstable. (If it wasnt for Shadow he probably would have died by now.) Shadow also was the one that told Saph to go to Tails for help with the buckles on his wrists and the rings on his ankles. They are made of a material similar to shadows rings (tails tried his best to replicate them) so they would help keep the energy in Saph balanced. Due to his strong affiliation to Chaos Energy, he could technically even turn super; but his body would be unable to hold the immense amount of energy and begin to literally burn down to ash within a few minutes.
He is very gay and in a relationship with Ezra.
He’s on T and has not yet had top op. (his bobbies smol its all muscle >:3€ )
Old pic of him and his bf as humans uwu
2) Red the hedgehog
Red is 25/26 years old and works at GUN as special agent. Sometimes he and Rouge get drunk in her club at night and joke about tearing that organization down (or maybe they are not joking)
he’s pansexual and horny 24/7. He has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship. hes polyam if you didnt guess it askdsajh
he’s blind in the right eye and has a tattoo of a star on his chest
(here’s his gijinka because i just. hes hot. he used to be the one character that had like 30 fangirls on deviantart and each of them would comment “nosebleed” every time i uploaded)
ANYWAYS
Saph and Red. They are brothers.
*WARNING: abusive parents, transphobia, homophobia, violence
When red was a young lad and Saph was still a baby their father snapped and beat Red up with an iron bar, making him blind on his right eye. Red took Saph and ran away from home.(Their mother died at saphs birth)
They lived and still live in a city a litte farther off Empire City.
Red decided to go to an orphanage because he could not possibly take care of an infant. (granted his dad couldnt either but it seemed the best possible solution)
They lived in the orphanage for a few years, but saph very soon showed sighns of being trans and got bullied by the other kids. they would call him gay and tr*nny and kick him until he fell silent to endure his “punishment”.
Red couldn’t take it and decided to run away with Saph again. They lived on the street for a while, but Red was caught by GUN for stealing. Once they found out he had a form of chaos powers (even if weak) they decided to let him slide and hire him as Special Agent.
Red accepted this and uses the money he ears to make sure Saph has a good life. This kinda spoiled Saph a little, but he also deserved it lets be real here.
Red made sure to enable saph to get education (which he totally refuses to acknowledge and take seriously) and physical transition.
*WARNING END*
3) Ellectra “Ellie” the tenrec
[ pardon me being inconsequent with the design omg ]
Ellie is a 20 year old functional asexual demiromantic lesbian who is not interested in dumb boys and would rather talk about science with a pretty girl.
She can manipulate electricity and is called “Daughter of Zeus” by the townsfolk in her home island called Coral Island, which is located near the windsmil isles in Apotos.
She studies archeology and gaia mythology/ancient history, which makes it very convenient that she lives nearby an actual gaia temple. (She wants to be like lara croft one day)
At the 2005 black arms invasion her mother got heavily wounded when she tried to protect the town from the aliens and died from the aftermath.
Ever since then Ellie hates Shadow with a burning passion and holds him responsible, because she believed the government propaganda (provided by GUN ofc) that Shadow is One Of The Aliens. If she was ever to meet him she would be FURIOUS and ready to murder (she knows he cant die though).
She tried not to focus too much on that and just. do her cool ancient stuff.
Here are her parents Chion and... the mother i had still not found a good name for.
5) Chion the tenrec
This gentleman is 40+ years old and proud father of Ellie.
Hes also a het ace.
Chion is greek for snow (as far as google translate goes) and he was named that bc of his white nose lmao. its like a snowflake on his black body.
He doesn’t have any elemental powers, but he is naturally very strong and will punch anyone who comes close to his family. He can also use swords and is a skilled swordsman.
He inherited an olive farm from his family and he does keep it going. He makes his money selling olive products he does make himself.
6) Athena the hedgehog
Athena was the daughter of the “major” of the island that the family lived on (coral island), so she was expected to become the new major once he had to retire.
Due to the location of the island and the geographical landmarks on it, many raiders (and also eggman) have great interest in the ruins and mythological places. Athena is not one to give in easily and defended her people and the island from many intruders.
She possessed a less particular (than Ellie), but still fierce power of lightning manipulation. Having used her powers excessively, she sustained severe damage to her arms which showed as lighting shaped scars. She showed them with pride, because they meant she had fought hard to get where she was now.
She was bisexual and married to a tenrec called Chion. She was a year older than him.
The rings Ellie wears on her wrists were her mom’s.
7) Frost the snow leopard
Frost is a 15 year old demiboy who really just wants to have a good time. He hasnt really given his sexuality much thought.
He lives in a small village in Holoska; hes actually even met the werehog. Well he saw him. but he was too afraid to talk to him because holy shit its Sonic The Hedgehog!!!!!!!
He has ice powers!!!!
His insides are like -18°C and he cant eat anything that is hot. He has to eat cooked meals when they are room temperature, or even cooled down to fridge temperatures ( about 6°C).
He basically lives off ice cream and dry meat (if they get fancy food from the city he gets frozen pizza) He thinks of going to the UF for college, but he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life yet so hes just having fun snowboarding.
8) Mitzu the Cheetah
Mitzu is 22 years old and owns a flower shop/chao garden combo where she takes care of chao, while taking care of flowers and breeding them. Her hydrokinesis powers are very helpful in that!
She loves nature and the outdoors and feeling the grass under her feet, so she doesn’t wear shoes/socks. Ever.
She generally is very free spirited and optimistic!
Shes a big sapphic but shes also okay w being single atm.
Her chao are like children to her and she loves the chao that get left in the garden as much as her own. (ppl leave their chao there when they cant watch over them anymore or if they go for a vacation and cant take them with them or smth)
9) Dan the red panda*
Dan is 17 years old and a big homo.
He has no special powers, except being able to eat and sleep more than the average person.
He’s from a very rich family, but his parents insisted in him finding a wife to like. pass down the heritage but he aint having none of that so his punk ass ran away from home to be his gay self and study art.
He lives in a tree house a little off a small village in a more rural area in east UF, near station square. let the depression boy be happy...
10) Yoshi the siamese cat
Yoshi is a 20 year old enby kitty who wants to make the world a gayer place!
They are studying fashion design in hope to one day open their own fashion store for queer people! The clothes are made with body differences in mind and they also want to offer a free customization service to fit clothes to every single body type.
They don’t have any special powers as of now but i kinda want to give them a power that could be helpful with their goal Im still thinking about it ...
11) Joel “Spirit” the Husky
Spirit is fresh ripe 14 years old and Sonic the hedgehog is his big big idol. He wants to be JUST like him when he grows up.
It has come to my attention that he is basically the sonic universe Deku and I may or may not be planning to write a fanfiction for that...........
He doesn’t have any special offensive powers, but he has orange blood and he has the ability to read the Chaos Signature of anything he encounters. (called: Chaos Vision)
This means he will immediately know if a person he meets has super powers and he will also know what that power is. He can also guess the emotions of people because they are tied to the kind of chaos energy that surrounds a person.
12) Aurora the Husky
Spirit’s Sister!
Her name is Aurora and she also has Chaos Vision!
She was born blind, but she’s been able to see with her power, so that’s just what the world looks like to her: Darkness with many many colorful lights.
Over time through hard training she was able to perfect her vision and be able to distinguish between a lot of things and even see things that only have very little chaos energy in them!
13) Axel the Axolotl*
I don’t really have much info on them I made them pretty random one day bc i thought. hey. .... what if... axolotl sonic character.
14) Azul the cat
Azul is my sonicsona kinda. He was pmuch my persona b4 i was kin w shadow.
He’s an edgelord and i guess he’s still technically me; or rather what i want to be.
He’s already on T and has has top op and he does not crumble away under social anxiety like i do askjdsakjd.
15) ( UNKNWOWN) the Pangolin*
Similar to Axel I didn’t think much about him yet......
he’s aroace and kinda goofy but he cares for his friends. He can roll up and do spin dashes and homing attacks like sonic, but he obviously doesnt have his super sonic speed.
16) Coal the hedgehog
Coal is one of the newest of my characters; but he’s also one of my oldest.
You see, Coal is a revamp of a very old crappy fanchild i had back in like 2012.
for reference thats him
New Coal is 27 years old and a gay mess. He can turn into a cloud of smoke and control it at will. He is completely immune to physical attacks. try to stab/shoot him and u ded. hes coming for u.
he steals, but only from rich ppl. hes chaotic neutral tho bc he keeps that shit for himself safhsaljfha he generally just wants to chill and have his peace.
he loves being an edge lord though he just wants that image for himself, even though he is kinda a softie... hes good at keeping up an act in dangerous situations though and that sometimes scares attackers off (also his powers)
Some gijinka doodles that make his age more justice than sonic style aksjfhaskj
17, 18, 19) The Crew On ARK
old bad art but i never really drew them, i did write about them in my fic about shadows past! (im excluding the black guy from the list because i didnt write him yet and i guess hes not really established yet since i got literally nothing on him)
from left to right
Nia, (that dude), Hikari, (gerald), Theodor
Nia is the daughter of a shamaran professor and a woman who owns a boulongerie in spagonia. She joined the ARK program in hope to make the world a more accepting place.
Hikari is is from an island near chun-nan (japan) and she also joined the program in hope to be able to help make a change for the better. she also enjoys biology and genetics a lot.
Theodor joined purely because of his joy in working on genetics and robotics that immitate life. He’s innitially from the GUN team but was assigned to work with Gerald.
20) Commander Jonathan Williams
old art again sorry sakjfhsakj. He is the father of the current GUN commander! He’s 52 and a total douchebag. He’s kinda mad with power and genuinely believes that putting shadow under pressure to become the ultimate and strongest weapon (stronger than an atomic bomb) was necessary to end the war that was going on at that time.
I cannot spoil too much on what happened to each of these people as it’s spoilers for my fanfic.
If you want to know more, read here -> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10992156/chapters/24482199
21) Sidus “Nova” the black panther (and 22 Badass the Chao)
You see. The thing with nova is that i recycled him as human/demon character for a story sjkhfkafhsakj but he has shadow powers where he can use all shadows as portals into a shadow dimension that is entirely his own. he can travel through that but it makes him very tired. he likes to store capri suns in there and just take em out whenever he wants. He has a Chao called Badass (pictured below)
his new human/demon design is below
23) Blossom the horned Frog
She is new and I don’t have much info other than that she’s from a jungle area; perhaps in adabat.
She secrets a poisonous slime from her body; yet her spit has healing accelerating properties.
A gene defect lets her never lose her tail.
24) Nexus the demonic sheep hound
nexus is a demonic sheep hound mix?? idk i just didnt want to draw hooves aksfsakhfa
they can manipulate metal and bend it in any shape they want
however they cant make it float n shit like youd think of metal powers like magneto jsfhsakjf they can literally just. shape it like play-doh but with their mind
they wear those gold rings so when theyre in a pinch they can just make a bunch of cool knifes of a sword n be like SURPRISE BITCH IM NOT JUST PRETTY. IM PRETTY DEADLY!
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btw this wall of text is funny and has jokes so dont be afraid to read it in full♥( like i never read theory posts i just skim cuz they’re usually really boring)
im genuinely asking all you girls lol. i think that theory and stuff is fun but its got a lotta girls caught up in it to where they think all issues are equal. because in theory they are. but this is totally war, like, our numbers are limited. and also we cant afford to make things any easier for people who are invested in killing us.
like in theory what if we had a utopian capitalist society; trans women would be treated perfect, cis women would be treated perfect, etc, except for that capital would exist lol but im just saying its capitalist because of the epistemological impossibility of describing a post-capitalist society. so cis women would have their uteruses respected and all that stuff (what do cis women care about????? idgi tbh) and trans women would y’know, not be in the absolute shithole.
so in that situation theory coincides with and applies to society so if a misogynist trend appeared it wouldnt hurt trans women to work with cis women on whatever was an issue with them with that. well the only thing that would hurt would be being seen in public with such unfashionable people. but i digress.
however in this late capitalist metadata-shaped reality, if we want to really center and support ourselves and our sisters, we have to preform some kind of triage. triage is a practice in medicine and more specifically field, military, and emergency medicine by which doctors quickly determine prognosis (oversimplified: how likely someone is to survive) and more importantly the effect of treatment on said prognosis. and then decide the order to treat injured based on that analysis. so basically they treat the ppl with severed limbs first so they dont bleed out, but the people cut in half last cuz it would be near impossible to save them anyway. you probably already knew all this, like, if you’ve seen apocalypse now or anything but i just really like talking about medical science lmao. humor me.
so we have to decide where the focus of social and material resources is most important and will do the most good for tw. thats pretty intuitive. i think if i said that to any tw i know shed agree. well tw dont usually agree with my taste in icecream muchtheless politics so maybe not. anyway :p♥
looking at it from a military/conflict analytical perspective, because there’s little difference between physical and emotional conflict and often its helpful to look at them the same, there are a lot of people working on cis womens “rights”. in fact many men also work with cis women on their ~issues~ ; trans guys being especially invested in this cuz its a way to be transmisogynist and gain power 4 free basically. cis women have that shit on lockdown, lemme tell you. they’re bringing their boyfriends and everything. meanwhile our boyfriends or cis girlfriends dont wanna be seen with us. but like i said a bunch already, nobody’s even working for trans womens basic needs (not rights) except ourselves. let me say: every time we go participate in a womens march, in a trans march, we’re getting played hard.
like hard girls. like major funny business. like serious shenanigans. why? because cis women and trans men use us and our incredible skill, talent, etc, and get us to organize, direct, speak at, etc the march and they get all the benefits. we get none. in fact we usually get sexually assaulted, traumatized, verbally assaulted, et ceteraaaa. like, are you seeing what im seeing? my triage says that thats definitely NOT something i should get within 10 miles of. dont rhetorically defend that, dont go, dont give your labor to ppl who are lookin to simply exploit you and send you home with less that you masked up with. or pussy hatted up. god thats the worst. fashion nightmare.
everybody has limited resources. it simply doesn’t make sense to spend our resources as tw on stuff which doesnt give back. every time you theoretically defend cis women in even a minuscule way i wonder why?? cuz the problem is you’re not gonna get anything from it! i mean maybe this is too max stirner but not really cuz what i’m saying is that we are small in active numbers, and we dont get any tactical assistance from anyone but our selves, and thus its crucial to focus solely on gaining resources for and preserving our own selves. especially when its not just a waste, its dangerous. the more leeway cis women get from trans women, the more they will exploit that and exploit the trans women in their movements; and use those women to decredit the women outside of their movements. dont be a token! i’m not kidding when i say you won’t get anything out of it.
remember the study that said trans women participating in communities are more depressed than trans women who dont. cis womens movements will suck you dry. okay that sounds kinda hot. they’ll do it in a non-hot way. they will use your brilliance for their own ends and dehumanize your daily life.
so when you give your energy to them, whether you’re a fulltime h8r like me or you dont really h8 anyone (i bet theres someone you h8 dont lie to yourself, we’ve all got that dark side hatred inside us), its not useful to ever focus on cis women. even if you like them a lot they dont really need your help. unless you’re a hardcore masochist and wanna never focus on yourself and only focus on others, which i get, its kind of a thing with tw, but lemme tell you its the most dangerous goddamn thing when done with cis women. at least if you put the needs of other tw over your own they will prolly help you in return! anyway please become an egoist and put your needs above others. thats not even actually egoism, so dont even worry about karl marx’ ghost coming to haunt you.
trans women need to use that kind of thinking more than any other kinda people, but we like put ourselves first the least! we are way too selfless. and literally everyone is conspiring to play the fuck out of us so we are sooo vulnerable to being tokens and hurting ourselves by giving energy to communities that just wanna exploit us. it sux!!
the moral of the story is, please never talk about uteruses and vaginas and reproductive rights and petty acts of misogyny like catcalls ever again lol, cuz the (millions) of cis women who talk about those things have got way more resources to fight those things which are comparatively nothing to what threatens trans women, and they are also 100% invested and complicit in your exploitation and demise! also it makes me sad cuz i want sisters to care about me and focus on me (and themselves) cuz i’m super vain.
i feel like what politics posts are missing on tumblr is like, honesty! ive become way more honest this year and i dont think it detracts from what im saying to say that posts focusing on trans women and validating us and totally tossing out all the cis bs thats constantly around us make me feel more cared about and more happy. i want people to care about my experiences and listen and share my passionate emotions. im extremely passionate about trans women fucking winning at life. and i know that cis women, men, every non trans woman always tries to stop me and my sisters from winning at every fuckin turn! damn! that sux!! but we have to deal with it, forreal, like, we can and will win by ourselves. nobodys gonna help us, as fucked up as that is, we have to make our own lives and come into our own resources and contacts and happiness and safety. but i know we can. and i know that cis women especially, who are very sneaky and try to pull like 10 fast ones on us a minute, (how do they do that) can be soooo harmful for us. anyway indulge me and just try not really focusing or contributing to cis womens or “transgender” movements et cetera et cetera cuz it’s the way2go. focus on yourself, real life, not theory, (like not theory as a huge major thing in your life its totally fun as a hobby, just dont let it control how you like, relate to people! cuz i see that a lot), your sisters, and winning. dont put your energy towards movements that really, honestly, will never be able to truly see you as human and give you any support or benefit whatsoever. jeez why’d i write this post this is so long wtf i never go on tumblr ok bye girls♥♥♥
dont believe the hype, bitches are the lowkey fbis sis !! ♥♥♥
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Wed Dec 27 02:02 AM
I was the one who wanted to be alone tho. I dont even know what i actually want.. Perhaps..i want you?
Oops. Im sorry. For being too egoist. For only wanting you to be here, only when i need you. I apologize. But i cant do anything about that. Because people said sorry because they cant do anything about that, right?
Somehow at some point i want someone obsessed over me ((but not too obsessed, i mean, obsessed in a cute way)). Keep coming at me, ask me how am i doing, ask me how do i feel. Someone i could share stories and worries with. Someone who would listen to those pointless stories and worries. Someone who would stand by my side no matter how right or wrong i am. Someone who would tell me “that’s okay”
Those all sounds like Bapak..
Oh i get it now. Every guy in the world would do that. But i would never be comfortable if all those things done by someone i dont have this things called ‘love’.
Bapak somehow obsessed over me. Like every morning call, after work call, his kosong time call. And all the time he spent listening to my not-so-problematic-problem. His every “tidak apa-apa” to every mess i made. My 911, i miss you so much. I like the way bapak obsessed over me. It made me feel im so loved by him. It feels so warm and cozy being embraced like that by the ones we loved. Now that he’s gone, i lost the one who made me feel those ways. I lost the one who made me feel that im loved. So i probably need another someone who made me feel that way...but who?
I think...first of all, i need to find someone to like. To open my heart to... but who? Who would want to knock my old wooden heart? It is too rapuh now, that people afraid to knock. Afraid that i would be easily broken. Afraid of what could it be behind that old wooden door.. A witch perhaps? Padahal the one behind that door is a dying little girl, who needs to be saved, because she doesnt even have any energy to go outside the door.
No no, that little girl would save herself alone. She would do it. Let’s just wait and see. She just needs to look around, and close by her she got a bar of chocolate and a cup of water. Yes, she would be alive. Yes, she would prove the world that shes not weak. Shes strong enough to keep herself alive despite of the emotional’s crisis in front of her.
She would realize: If she’s hungry, then eat If she’s thirsty, then drink If she’s feeling hurt, then cry If she’s tired, then sleep If she’s stressed, go watch bunch of funny korean shows If she wants to curhat, she has twitter and tumblr
If she cant sleep like tonight, then dont sleep. Feel free to open this twitter and tumblr app and let out all her heavy thought
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