#IM GONNA DIE HES SO PERFECT he knows me so well hes so sweet and FRICKIN CONSIDERATE IM EXPLODING

[britneyshakespeare]

you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work

me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:

[powderrblue]

MY BOYFRIEND IS SO PERFECT IM SCREAMING

[bearambles]

good girl, officer (hamzah)

words: 1.2k

warnings: piv, dom!hamzah, sub!reader, handcuffs, spit, creampie, bad writing >_<

note: the drought is over. this actually sucks so bad and i wrote it in class but erm!! here!! cop!hamzah got me out of my writing slump soooo i’ll hopefully get to requests soon. also im sorry guys its not copying over the pretty girl fic or i would have reuploaded it by now - i wont stop trying though!!

enjoy!!

cold metal presses into your skin as hamzah secures your hands behind your back. his chest inches behind you, the heat of his breath against your neck. you shiver, a small whimper escaping your lips as the handcuffs click in place and he releases your wrists from his grip.

“stay like that, yeah?” he says, his hands moving to your hips, pushing you back against him.

he’s been needy all day. the video he filmed with martin took so long and he’d been texting you non-stop while you were at work.

i can’t wait to see you baby. can’t wait to use these on you.

<1 image>

you’ve never really considered hamzah to be super dominant, and it isn’t always the case. days like these though, when he pent up and desperate and eager, he takes control. uses you like it’s what you’re made for. you fucking love it.

“i asked you a question baby.”

his grip tightens on your hips, his cock hard against your clothed ass. you’re wearing a flimsy t-shirt, a lace bra, and your shortest sleep shorts. as soon as he started with his horny texts, you changed from regular clothes to these. you knew they wouldn’t be on long.

“i will.��� you whisper, your face towards the wall.

he grips your chin and makes you look at him, his thumb caressing your skin softly while his grip remains firm.

“good. you look so pretty, ma.”

he kisses you then, soft and sweet, before pulling away to undo his belt. you watch as his pants meet the ground and his cock springs from his boxers. he’s so fucking thick.

after a moment though, he looks up to see you staring, and presses your neck back against the wall. your face smushed against the tile, you whimper. he reaches a hand up past your shirt and bra and slowly kneads a nipple in between his finger and his thumb.

“h-hamzah-“

“i said to stay. that means don’t move. you understand that now?”

you nod, and he moves the hand on your tit down to his length. a few strokes in, he has an idea, and moves to shove two fingers in your mouth. you gag slightly at the intrusion, but quickly realize what he wants. your tongue swirls around his fingers, and he watches.

he pushes them a little further back, until you cough and he takes them out. you pant just barely, a string of drool connecting your mouth to his fingertips. covered in spit, he moves his hand down to his cock and pumps it a few times before lining himself up with your hole.

your shorts are still on and he tugs them down with one hand. you whine and your hands go to reach for the wall, but they’re still together. he notices and reaches his free hand up to grab your wrists and bring them back down behind the small of your back.

“stop being a fucking brat.” he grins in your ear before moving his hand back down to your panties and pulling them aside. without warning, he pushes into you.

“fuck! hamzah-“

“shhhhh i know ma.”

both hands gripping your hips, he slams into you. his cock is practically ripping you in half, but it hurts so good. you whine and his mouth is next to your ear, whispering comforts that contrast his rough movements.

“so good baby. so good.” he’s just word vomiting, you know, but his words add to the growing knot in your stomach. “you’re so fucking perfect.”

even when he tries to be tough and dominant, he can’t help but praise his baby. you look so pretty, face smushed against the wall, your hair messy and makeup starting to run as your eyes water from pleasure. your pussy so fucking warm he thinks he’s gonna die.

the way you take him so well, your body fitting his like it’s what you were made to do. it felt like that in this moment. nothing could feel better than the thick of his cock hitting you deep. his hips smack against your ass as he fucks you.

“please hamzah, please.” your hands start to wriggle in their restraint, desperate to play with your clit. from the moment he put the cuffs on, you were soaked. it was starting to hurt to keep ignoring it.

“what do you need? you want me to slow down?” he asks, the second sentence coming with a halter in his thrusts and his tone a little lighter.

you shake your head and start to move your hips back against him, trying to bring back the pace he’d set.

“noooo…” you whine, and he pulls away completely.

he laughs, just taking in the image of you pressed against a wall, hands cuffed behind your back, crying for more dick.

“jesus christ. you’re that desperate huh?”

he takes the break in movement to reach down and spread your legs with his hands. he watches your core throb, pulsing around nothing, dripping slick. he laughs again, before taking two fingers and shoving them deep.

“oh my god-“ you whimper, jolting in surprise.

he keeps finger fucking you like this for a while, just watching your cunt take his fingers in like they belong there. gripping them both and dripping when you take them out.

when his thumb grazes your clit, you moan. he raises an eyebrow.

“that’s what you wanted, huh?”

you nod furiously.

“use your words.”

“yes. yes, please hamzah.”

“good girl.”

his thumb stays pressed against your clit while his fingers retract, replaced by his cock. the combination is almost too much. he’s back to the tough pace he started with, this time his fingers pawing at your clit.

“i’m so close, fuck, i’m sorry-“ he whines

“s’okay, i am too, just cum, just cum hamzah i love you i love you, fuck-“

he does.

he doesn’t pull out either, knowing you’re on birth control (and also extremely pussy drunk). In fact, he presses the deepest into you when he cums, his seed so deep inside of you that when he pulls out a minute later, it takes a moment for anything to even appear.

your orgasm crashes over you in waves and you can feel your cunt pulsing around him. he feels so good, you could cry.

he watches as his cum leaks from your cunt and his hand flies to his hair. he’s panting.

“jesus. oh my god. that was like- i’ve never cum so hard in my life.”

you giggle. in all fairness, you hadn’t fucked in a week. you both needed it bad.

“you liked being in control, huh?”

he shrugs.

“i hope i wasn’t too much. you can always say stop, you don’t have to-“

“hamzah-“

“no i mean it. like, i know we have the safe word and stuff but even if you just say stop i will and i don’t want you to-“

“hamzah, i know-“

“i know you know but i was just worried i was being too mean or something because i want to turn you on but i also-“

“hamzah can you please uncuff me!”

he stares and you and presses his eyes shut for a moment, laughing softly.

“i’m sorry. yeah. i’m an idiot.”

-

i hope you guys enjoyed !

[lesbikaiser]

I LOVED ur recent ness post!! ur writing style is just ugh so good.... do u think u could please do ness with a breeding kink ??

hii nonnie, thanks for the ask!! im so happy you liked it <3

im sorry for taking a bit long to write your request, writing's block got the best of me and i dont really like how this one came out, but didn't want to leave you with nothing... i hope you like it though and it's the way you imagined!

ness has a dirty little secret.

he loves to cum in you. more than that, he loves to think how it could lead to him getting you pregnant.

your belly all round with his kid, breasts swollen and sore, full of milk, and you being so dependent on him – can't do anything without his help. oh, he's on cloud nine imagining it.

and he's so sneaky with it, you could never tell his mind is racing with wild thoughts whenever he gets to fuck you raw, neither how he almost cums on the spot when your legs hug his waist to pull him closer, deeper – at least that's what he thinks.

oh, he would be so ashamed if he found out you already know how much of a pervert he's, how his obsession is so, so obvious. the way he can't take his eyes off of the sticky, white cum leaking out of your hole when he pulls out, or how his dick twitches when you close your legs around his torso because you know what it does to him, and of course, how he's delighted by the idea of cockwarming after sex when you suggest it, to make sure all of his cum is stuffed inside you... oh, he's got such a dirty mind.

and he's so happy you're the one to ask for everything – for him to fuck you raw, to cum inside you and to please stay like this a little longer, lexie... he would never dare to ask you such things, not when there's a risk of making you uncomfortable or worst, making you do something you don't want to just to please him... he could never forgive himself if he made you worry about his needs when all he wants is you to feel good.

but you're so perfect... absolutely divine, heaven's sent really! every single time you two have sex, he insists on asking if you want him to pull out – even if he wants to shove his dick deep inside you and make you take all of his seed, he definitely doesn't want to hear you telling him to pull out – and you won't. every time he asks, the answer is always the same: you begging with that sweet voice of yours for him to please cum inside and wan' you to make a mess of me, ness!

oh, of course he will.

his fingers grab your hips so tightly it might leave bruises, short nails sinking on your flesh as he pumps his cock in and out of you, your velvet walls hugging him so well, clenching around his shaft like they're trying to milk him, he's reaching so deep in your core that he may just be touching your cervix, humping you mindlessly.

it's everything alright, everything is going so well, until it's not anymore. until he gets too carried away and can't hold back his thoughts from spilling through his lips.

"s'good, gonna breed you so well..." it comes out in a low tone, muffled by his own moans even, but you manage to make it out. as soon as he realizes what he said, his pace falters a bit, and he's staring at you with wide eyes. "'m sorry, didn't mean–"

"y-yeah? ple– ngh...! please do it, ness!" you whine, hips bucking up to meet his, your legs wrapping impossibly tighter around his waist as you pull him in for a heated, messy kiss.

are you trying to kill him? because he might just die – worse, his dick is twitching uncontrollably and he swears he's gonna blow his load right then and there.

your pleading makes him go feral, almost folding you in half while holding your thighs higher against his torso, slamming his dick deep into you and moaning against your lips shamelessly before moving to bite on your collarbone, he feels like he's going crazy – like his whole body is about to combust.

"you'll look so pretty... all round with our baby... wan' make you a mommy so bad!"

[princessoflalaland]

I kid u fucking not, im genuinely tweaking thinking about the jjk men, specifically nanami and toji. the complete polarity between them drives me insane.

nanami would treat you like a complete and utter queen. craving something only available across town? he's already in the car the seconds the words leave your pretty little lips. period causing your day to be less than perfect? heat pads, comfort foods, blankets, candy- anything you need will be at your disposable. he's a good listener, affectionate, doting, understanding, mature, he is a MAN.

and do not let him know about your sexual needs. mans will (responsibly) drop whatever he's doing to come satisfy you. put that pussy on his nose, let his tongue trace the insides of your tight, gummy walls, he loves it more than you do. let him drill into that pussy until you're both on the brink of passing out with you mewling his name, how good he is, how deep he gets, how much you love his dick, he loves it wayyyy more than you do. ride him to your heart's content, sloppy licking and kissing into his mouth because you know why: he loves it more than you do. he'll make love to you every night if you'll let him, and I have an inclination you would. I mean, who'd wanna miss out on the sweet vulgarities he'd purr in your ear while he rearranges your guts?

"my pretty girl, takin' me so well." he'd huff into your ear. your legs splayed out near your torso as he has you in your all time favorite position: the wonderful mating press. "ah, God," nanami hissed, face pinching with overwhelming pleasure. "you're squeezing me, baby..gonna make me cum.." he'd lift his head where it was tucked away in the crook of your sweat-slicked neck, staring into your very soul with a dangerous mix of adoration and hunger. "want me to cum inside you, love? pump this pretty pussy f-full of my cum?"

You became his world and whatever his woman wants, she gets, no questions, no debate.

Toji, ohhhhhhhhhh TOji toji toji. He's my guilty pleausre, I swear to you. I've committed my heart, soul, and body, to nanami, I've claimed him as my jjk husband, BUT toji truly is my forbidden fruit. I have to fight actual demons not to imagine him pounding into me from behind, the side, upside down, up into me- in any way shape and form simply because feel like im being disloyal to Nanami :(

(mind you these are fictional men created by a Japanese sadist name Akutami Gege, I need to be committed to a mental institution at this rate)

AHEM, anyway, Toji is a blunt lover, and here's what I mean: (in my head) he may not be the best at communication or very good with his feelings, but he'll do his damndest to be upfront with you. he'll try his best to do what he thinks is best for y'alls relationship and with your help, he gets better at voicing how he feels. idgaf what you gotta say, he. will. spoil. you. yes, keeping money isn't something he's always been good at, BUT that all changed when he got with you. Mans made an entire savings account just for you. his money is your money basically; whatever you want is yours, no questions asked. he'd be your ride or die. no one gets to you without getting through that sexy, delicious, mountain of a man. he'll damned if he lets anyone even think about disrespecting his lady. he'll gladly rearrange their face, maybe even end their bloodline, if they're dumb enough to try. toji is...idk the hood nigga of jjk if u ask me, and if you think really hard, that's headcanon enough.

its one of the undisputed facts of the world that toji has that dawg in him. he will, happily, gladly, proudly, rearrange your insides, then give them a fresh paint job with his cum. he'd talk that nasty shit in your ear too while he's pounding you from behind.

"ohh, this pussy so good f'me, ma. so wet, so fuckin' tight....g'nna fuck 'er nice 'n good, maybe leave a baby in 'er too.” he'd growl, his tip bullying your g-spot at a punishing pace. "you'd like that, wouldn't ya?" he'd pull you back by your hair, keeping your back flush against his broad chest while his rough hand traveled down your navel so his thick fingers could torture your clit. "want a baby fucked into yer tight, nasty pussy. ohh im gonna fill you up baby. fill this perfect, fuckin' pussy..."

the forbidden fruit is toji fushiguro, you cannot change my mind.

this was mindless nanami and toji drabble because I need them, istg im tweaking bc maybe they aren’t so different…

[heartrender6]

most of the kuwei hate in this fandom is absolutely racially motivated and most of it is probably subconscious but i NEED to talk about this.

and not because i think people r thinking "i hate kuwei!! he's asian and i hate asians!!" tbh most anti asian racism on the internet goes way deeper than that.

basically, what i believe to be the most prominent type of racism against asians, especially on the internet, is stereotyping. specifically "uwu-ification." the east asian entertainment industry likes to paint asian people as cute, submissive and sweet because it markets disturbingly well to american audiences, and whether people mean to or not, they internalize it and it affects the way they think of asian people as a whole. This mostly happens to east and southeast asian women, but definitely a lot with men too, especially in more recent years with the whole yaoi culture thing (i fucking hated typing that) becoming more popular. simply put, it's fetishization.

so how does this relate to kuwei? well, when kuwei is introduced to us, and im not gonna dance around it— he is pretty stereotypically asian. he's shy, innocent, small, good at math/science and— you guessed it— no speaka engrish. leigh bardugo lays the perfect trap for fandom white girl weeaboos to gush over this guy. once i came across a modern au where kuwei's whole northern chinese-mongolian ass is a "shy japanese transfer student." i really wish i was making this up.

but then we find out that kuwei is actually a conniving little shit who is really quite terrible at science and spends all day making shitty drawings of his crush instead of doing math or wtv. The turning point where we are told this is the jesper kiss. This is the point where we find out kuwei is not the yaoi uwu baby we thought he was. and how does fuckin 2/3 of the fandom react?? hate. instant hate. If you search "i hate kuwei" on twitter there are tweets both defending and attacking him, but there is significantly more of the latter.

most of them claim to hate him for kissing jesper but like... jesper kissed him. He doesn't say anything because, in his own words, "we're all probably going to die anyway." does no one see how tragic that is?? he let his first (probably) kiss be taken by someone who he knew didn't even like him because he thought it would be the only one he'd ever get.

and yet the only thing people see is that he "got in the way" of wesper and he's evil. throughout the series kuwei is given no agency, and that's the point of his character. everyone on the planet treats him as a weapon or a bargaining chip. he gets tossed around like a rag doll and to white (or otherwise not asian) audiences, that makes him the perfect picture of a little asian cutie i almost vomited typing that holy shit. but the moments where he takes something for himself— insisting on going to ravka, kissing jesper back— that's what makes people hate him. and don't even get me started on the way people project their hatred onto the other crows, especially wylan. yall will act like wylan loathes kuwei with all his being. he doesn't!! wylan is not a hateful person and he always defends kuwei!! but nooo, kuwei sucks and he deserves it for daring to be a person instead of an idea.

and hey?? guess what?? kuwei was NEVER in the way of wesper. there was no love triangle. narratively speaking, there was never any threat that kuwei would end up with jesper instead of wylan. never ever. the kiss was literally only put there to create drama for wylan and jesper. we never even hear how kuwei feels about it. stop using that as an excuse to hate on kuwei when we can all see it's because you're subconsciously mad at an asian person not being nice.

also disliking kuwei does not automatically make you racist, im just saying a lot of hatred towards kuwei is rooted in racism.

tagging my fellow aapi moots (that i know of) because i wanna hear yalls thoughts on this! @hauntedacousticversiontv @dramaqueentruther

[altades]

Vashwood rant

I can't sleep so why not analyze vashwood in the middle of the night

Now, this analysis is mostly of the manga, with maybe small takes from 98 and tristamp

To start let's look at the boys from their respective beginnings

Vash is so cruelly mischaracterized as a child, and it might be a little bit of trismaps fault, even though i do love it, or maybe people are just putting characters into boxes without really thinking about it but Vash is so not soft-shy-nice little baby brother. The whole thing with him being younger is so insane to me, i get why if Nai was born like 10 minutes earlier he would make it his whole personality (very sibling thing to do) but it's just so stupid. No, they have 0 age difference and it doesn't affect their dynamic cuz the are literally twins for the love of god. And, really, when you look at the manga as kids Nai was the emotional one! And he still is!

Nai is plagued by fear and anger and resentment and those emotions are what drive his every decision. Vash, on the other hand, is much more in control of his feelings and doesn't show them as much. That is to say that pre-tesla nai is the one worried about their relationship with humans, about their future, he's the one crying after talking to Conrad (what a sweet child he was) while Vash seemes much less scared.

And when they find out about Tesla Nai is the one who faints - he’s the more reactive one, the emotional one. And that small difference is what sets their paths so differently. Because Vash actually gets a chance to talk to Rem and figure things out.And that talk is so very important because it makes Rem, who already was everything to Vash, even more important. 

Now, I want us all to think about how terrified Vash was after seeing Tesla cuz he probably thought his own mother was going to dissect him and his brother. But then she saves him when he tries to end his own life, proving that no she’s not gonna kill him, because she, as every human, has the capability to learn from her mistakes and make better choices. (too bad Nai didn’t get that lesson lol)

And then we get to the big bad things. (it’s genocide) But the important part from that whole ordeal is Rem’s sacrifice. Because, listen, I love stories where humanity is shown to be capable of change and forgiveness is a virtue and love and pussy and all that but oh man can it be so so unrealistic and a little bit insane to watch (su im looking at u (i love su but oh boy that is not how the world works unfortunately)) but Trimax manages to make it work so well. I believe that’s cuz Vash is a very kind and loving man but is also completely out of his mind and has horrendous mommy issues. At least half the reason he doesn’t kill people is because Rem has died to save them, and killing them would make it all be for nothing. If he kills these people or if he lets them die would that mean that Rem died for nothing? Did she sacrifice her life to save these people only for her own son to end their lives? AND you know I’m right cuz he literally says it in the manga but also BECAUSE HE DOES THE SAME FOR WOLFWOOD (also he did kill Nai when he had the chance but we don’t have time to unpack that)

All of that is A LOT and very complicated (i love Vash he’s so well written he’s my perfect little meow meow) now let's talk about Wolfwoooooooooood /twirls hair/

WW is much easier to understand and analyze cuz he is, just a guy,, WW is just a normal person who gets insanely unlucky and gets in THE WORST possible situations (If he ever played DND he would roll straight 1s). That is to say that his story is sort of a way to show how much life in the badlands sucks, but also that there are good things even in the worst places (the orphanage) And WW reacts to situations in the most rational way possible way - he kills to survive. he doesn’t want to but he doesn’t get a say in it. If he could chose he would just live with his family and friend and do whatever. And that, him being so normal in such a violent and bloody world is what makes him suffer all the time. His inner moral compass is screaming at him what a terrible person he is and he promptly ignores it.

That is until that moral compass manifests itself in the form of a tall, blond and handsome stranger that he’s supposed to lead to his death. The stranger who turns out to be the most compassionate and kind man WW’s has ever seen. Who he’s supposed to kill. It’s like finding an oasis in the desert and being forced to burn it to the ground. And WW doesn’t want to do that, and he refuses to believe that the oasis is not a mirage so he tries to get Vash to kill someone, even if it’s WW himself. (It doesn’t work.)

As we all know WW changes his mind because of Vash’s influence. And he dies for it. Because even though Vash’s beliefs are born of human virtues, no man is made to walk his path, for he is not human and any mortal who tries to follow an angel to the skies is doomed to crash. WHAT YOU DON’T EXPECT IS THAT THAT MAN WILL BRING THE ANGEL DOWN WITH HIM

There is this line I wrote for an art i’m planning to make and if you’ve read this far you deserve a lil spoiler - “have you found absolution in bringing an angel to his knees?” and it captures perfectly what i'm thinking. And also Vash spends so much time trying to be closer to people but I think him killing Legato might’ve been the most human thing he’s ever done. Cuz it’s is so beautiful in the way he does it for the memory of the person he loved and yet so ugly in it’s cruelty.

I’ve said this before but most of the time when there is a human/ some immortal powerful creature relationship I don’t think the human is that special but WW HE SO IS. Maybe it’s the way that he’s just as deep in the nuclear bombs with personality business as Vash is, being one of said nuclear bombs, but still remains a normal person with relatively good morals that he can anchor Vash to a sort of normality that he doesn’t get often. Like what other guy would get hunted by all sorts of freaks with you, get in trouble all the time, get shot and etc and etc and then go for a drink with you like it’s a normal wednesday? Wolfwood. Or maybe it's that WW learns of every worst part of Vash, he sees him be on the brink of losing himself, he knows Vash has actually caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and ALMOST did it again after Julai, and still stays with him? He sees Vash become something that is not human at all and still stay? Idk MAYBE IT’S ALL OF THAT but WW is just so important and so down bad but we all know that already so i’m not gonna add to that

Anyways, I got this all out of my system gn

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

the avengers meeting your boyfriend [teenage avenger headcanons!]

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 1.2k

request: yes / no

original request: can you do one where the reader gets a boyfriend and everybody is getting overprotective and when they see their door closed they all bust in while we are watching a movie bc they thought the reader & bf were making out so they give them “the talk”😭😭

dynamic: avengers x teen!reader (teenage avenger series)

characters: so many oml but some include tony stark, bruce banner, natasha romanoff, clint barton, thor, steve rogers, scott lang, bucky barnes, wanda maximoff, sam wilson, there's probably more but that's all i'll put for now lol

a/n: y'all know i had to use this picture LMAO anyways ty for the request!!! two in one day #slay (that rhymes) requests are still open, send in an ask whenever :)

taglist: @nutellani @thecloudedmind

(fill out this form to be on my taglist!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

ok first i’m gonna name ur bf so it doesn’t get confusing

HAHA

let’s call him

jack

guys i’m so unoriginal pls ignore :’)

anyways so you had been dating jack for a while

he had asked you to go to midtown’s winter formal together :) 

and ofc u didn’t tell any of the avengers bc u KNEW they wouldn’t react well

but of COURSE mr. peter parker was so excited that he had to open his big mouth

miles kicked him under the table but it was too late

“who asked you to the formal y/n?” natasha asked, a small smile on her face

you could FEEL yourself blushing

all you wanted to do was like sink into the floor

which is actually physically possible (though it’s an anomaly)

bruce told you that :D 

anyways you just shook your head 

so then HARLEY decided to go “jack lastname”

IM REALLY BAD AT NAMES IM SORRY

and you were ready to die

right then and there

if the grim reaper decided it was your time you would be fine with it

so tony goes “jack lastname… huh.”

“tony, please don’t – “ you tried, but he was already there.

“jarvis, can you run a background check on that kid.”

you were so embarrassed.

miles, sweet sweet miles tried to change the subject

“so um… steve. how was… your day.”

but then there was sam wilson butting in

“when is winter formal anyway? you know we gotta know so we can take pictures.”

and that made you, harley, peter, and miles groan

tony was still looking at some tablet or whatever.

“stark!” came thor’s booming voice. “i thought you said no electronic devices were permitted at the dinner table! if they were, i would be much happier!!”

“yeah yeah. well they’re not. i’m busy.” tony replied, dismissing the god with a wave of his hand.

and happy, who was right next to tony, kept leaning over and shaking his head or nodding.

SO EMBARRASSING

anyways once you got done with dinner you went to put the dishes in the dishwasher robot

idk why i said it like that but it’s basically this cool thing where you put the dishes in the sink and this robot will wash them & put them away

very nice bc doing the dishwasher is so much work sometimes.

but then wanda, nat and carol came in

and you KNEW they were gonna try to get you to talk

“i’ll tell you guys later.” you spoke, trying to end the embarrassment. 

“come on y/n! we want to see him at least.” carol said, tilting her head and raising a brow.

“ok fine.” you said, and pulled up a picture of jack. you showed it to them for like one second and then put your phone back in your pocket.

“hey wait! no fair! i wanna see! yeah.” came the voices of sam, clint, scott, and bucky as they tried to fight their way into the kitchen.

“that’s a hard no. maybe i’ll bring him here after the dance. harley peter miles and i were already going to stay over. then he could walk by you guys for TWO SECONDS and then do something with me.”

“alright.” said sam, crossing his arms and nodding.

“seems fair!” said bruce.

“perfect.” you replied, leaving the room to leave them all to inevitably gossip.

SKIP AHEAD

ok so it’s winter formal

and you strategically told jack to meet you there so that the avengers couldn’t bombard him during picture taking time.

so y’all had a super fun time

& u slow danced with each other 🤭🤭

it was super fun

but you were kind of dreading going back to the tower

you had told jack about being an avenger a few weeks ago

and he was super excited to meet them all

jack is like super sweet & really awesome

so it put you at ease a little bit.

so you went back to the tower with him

peter harley and miles had gone to get ice cream and were coming back later

so you did the retinal and fingerprint scan that would let you into the elevator

and you went up to the main floor (so you could get to your room)

but ofc they were all there

and so you took jack’s hand and brought him over to where they all were

he was lowkey freaking out

and bro

bucky and sam and clint and scott looked so unamused

tony and happy too

SO YOU JUST TRIED TO KEEP IT CIVIL

but they all were acting so clipped and like not charismatic 

idk

but wanda, steve and bruce were rly nice so that put jack at ease a little bit

anyways so then you took jack to your room

you guys had been planning to watch a movie together

he was kind of nervous because he didn’t think the avengers liked him

but you assured him they did

(at least you hoped)

anyways you turned on the movie & watched it

and it was soo funny so y’all were laughing a lot

BUT THEN THE DOOR SUDDENLY OPENED

and it was so loud you got freaked out fr

but then you saw it was tony, bucky, sam and steve.

“y/n. could you go out in the hall for a minute.” steve said.

“this is my room!!” you tried, but tony just pointed out to the hall. 

“i’m sorry jack.” you said to your boyfriend

jack was literally about to cry omg

poor thing

“don’t be mean.” you said as you left, taking extra care to give them all a withering stare

natasha and bucky had taught you that skill well bc you saw sam shiver HAHA

so you went to the hall and clint, scott, and natasha were standing there.

“what are they DOING??” you hissed at them.

“they’re just worried for you y/n. they wanted to talk to the kid.” natasha assured you, patting your shoulder.

“yeah, nothin’ to worry about!!” scott added, a big grin on his face

“well i really don’t trust that coming from you.” you replied

“well tony thought you guys were kissing in there!” clint laughed.

although it turned into an “ow” when natasha elbowed him

“he WHAT?!” you replied

“yeah, that’s why he came up here. he said he wanted the most intimidating ones to go make that kid afraid or something.” scott added. “not sure why he didn’t ask me…”

you gave scott a nod but then made your way back into your room, crossing your arms and raising a brow as tony, bucky, sam and steve turned towards you.

“hey y/n.” sam said, raising a hand to wave.

“are you guys done now? i’d like to finish the movie.” you said, trying to be stern.

“i think we are. right jack?” steve said, standing up and gesturing towards your boyfriend.

“yes sir! i mean steve. i mean mr. rogers?” he said, clearly scared out of his mind.

“yeah yeah. alright. get out please!!” you said, guiding them out of your room.

bucky was the last to leave, but despite you pushing him, he turned back to face your boyfriend.

“hey, you. hurt them in any way and i’ll find you.” he said, accompanied by his signature deathstare.

then he gave a little salute to you. 

“night kid. don’t stay up too late.”

and then he was gone.

“did he really mean that??” jack said, eyes wide.

“yeah, he did.” you said, sitting beside him and holding his hand. “isn’t that sweet?”

-----------------------✰----------------------

[dear-oizys]

My thoughts on the latest 911 episode

Buzzkill

This was written while I was watching the episode

Noooooo the planes gonna hit the bigger aircraft!!!!!!!!!!

I absolutely hate Gerrard. Despise him. Take you your "unsatisfactory" to the fucking grave with your body you absolutely asshole. I hope you're allergic to bees.

Why the fuck is he bullying everyone like this. Chimney just cleaned the floor and that bastard just spit on it????????

Also why the fuck is he targeting Buck?? Im not gonna lie I expected dickbag to favour Buck solely cause he's white.

Why the fuck does this happen to Athena??? Can't they leave her in peace??

Buck I love you but you're so dumb. People can't quit their jobs just like that.

Nooooooo!!!!! Bobby got a job at another station???? Oh. He's on a set. Why is the lafd sending people to sets?????

Im asking the important question here. Why the hell were they transporting 22 million killer bees????????

Maddie and Josh!!!!!!!!! I love you guys!!!!!!!!!!

Gerrard better show some fucking respect to Josh. That guy has lived probably half of Gerrard's days and has definitely done more for more people than Gerrard ever could.

Buck. Why do you know so many bee facts???? Like how??? Gerrard you better appreciate good ideas especially when you yourself can't do anything but shout at everyone.

Awww Bobby and Athena!!!! They are so sweet.

Ooooooh. I feel like that there may be some animosity later between hen and chimney cause of the mara situation. Well not animosity but some sadness between them I guess.

No but for a second why did I think Chris came back??? Gerrard is taking credit for buck's idea????? Damn ok.

Last season I really liked LFJr and his character, but after finding out somethings I'm not sure I still do. But we'll see what happens and where Tommy and Buck's relationship goes.

I really understand where Chris is coming from but I still think that maybe it's a bit too much. I mean I'm not asking him to come back or talk like before with Eddie again but like uh huh and just straight up leaving does seem a bit rude. But honestly Eddie fucked up like a LOT last season. So it is kinda justified.

I don't like Eddie's mom.

Grown ups????? Bitch you should shut the fuck up. You're not a grown up. You're a childish, selfish, racist, sexist bastard who should DIE ( can everyone tell that I HATE Gerrard )

After causing so much trauma to hen and chimney, and now trying to do the same to all the new members of the 118. I don't know how the hell they put him in the same house again.

Lol its really funny how Eddie looks back desperately hoping it's not him Buck is referring to.

I once again ask. Why does buck know so many bee facts??????

"We'll this has both" chimney your comedic timing is perfection.

Not buck spraying perfume at Eddie while he's walking away 🤣

The whole Eddie running scene gives me life fr.

Duck tape is the best!!!!!!! ( I have never seen ducktape in my life, we don't have that in my country)

Wow. Buck was so happy and looked to Gerrard like he would do if Bobby was here, but Bobby is not here and Gerrard is an asshole.

Episode name drop!!!!!!

Not the Athena flashbacks. Please leave her alone.

Athena is so so so so badass. Like wow ma'am. You are so awesome. Did you guys see how fast she took the gun out?????????? The speed????????

Fuck. Fuck. It's going to be the flight that Athena takes with which the other plane is going to crash right. It's definitely going to be that one.

Ok weird movie guy. Why do you give me the creeps. I feel like he's gonna haunt us somehow, later in the season.

Ok I feel really really bad for buck. He has worked hard for where is today and he doesn't deserve everything that Gerrard is saying.

Ohhhhh he saved him. Ok ig

I knew it!!! I knew it was gonna be Athena's plane. I knew it!! ( But at what cost )

[princesssmars]

one last night

a five hargreeves x reader

its the end of the world. might as well make the most of it.

wc: 2.001

contains: fluff, angst, and swearing bc theyre all gonna die. five being a lovable grumpy shit. in my head five is physically the same age as aidan bc look at that mf and tell me hes 13 PLEASE.

a/n: the new season broke me so im writing this and reading fics to cope. i wrote it confusingly but the hand grab dance scene is based on that scene from the end of bridgerton season 2 bc kates eyes...i need to bring a man down with doe eyes like that fr. anyway hope yall enjoy.

.

well. this is it. the end of the world. the last days of your life. not how you imagined you'd go out, to be honest. you put the chances of dying during a commission assignment at about 98%. frankly a little low.

but you’d always been a little optimistic, so the remaining 2% went to your own personal fantasy. that maybe, one day, you'd retire from the commission. maybe use a briefcase to settle down somewhere of your choosing and live out the rest of your days in peace. and maybe, you would live out those days with your best friend. and, maybe, if you really wanted to push it, he'd turn from best friend to something more.

but that dream doesn't matter anymore, does it? you, along with your partner and his family had made the fuck up of a lifetime and created a kugelblitz - the end all of everything. its almost funny. how you'd given up most of your life to "fixing the timeline" just to end up ruining all of them.

hilarious.

so, here you are. in a shittily-lit hotel room getting dressed for a quickly put-together wedding at the end of the world.

god, how your life has changed.

you hear a knock at the door, saying a silent “come in.” to whoever stands behind it.

a soft smile graces your face when you see five enter the room. he stops a few steps from the doorway as he observes you, likely noticing how you'd dressed up more than usual. "you sure clean up nice, hargreeves." you tease, smiling as he does.

"well, you don't look half bad yourself." he takes in more of your outfit, looking you up and down. you feel your face heat up.

"a genuine compliment from the five hargreeves himself? it truly is the end of the world."

"im a man who tells the truth, you know this better than anyone." he keeps walking until he stands next to you, automatically raising his head so you can fix his tie.

"even when people don't want to hear it." you give him a knowing look as you do his tie for him. he knows how, but likes how you do it better. he likes to pretend you don't know.

"especially then."

when you finish fixing the tie, you smooth it over and run your hands over his vest. you look him in the eyes to see him already looking at you with an emotion in his that you can't quite place.

you want to ask him how he feels. about what happened when you went to the commission and saw everything you'd ever known just gone. about never getting longer than a day to just rest. about your impending doom.

about you.

he opens his mouth to speak but you both startle as a sharp knock sounds from the door.

you look over to see a slightly awkwardly standing viktor, who moves his hands to his pockets after gesturing to the hallway.

"hey, uh.. its time for us all to head down, the ceremony is about to start."

both of your lips purse into awkward smiles as he stands in the doorway for a few more seconds before exiting quietly.

its silent for a few more seconds as the two of you stand there. the moment has passed. yet again reminded of your fate.

he looks at you again with a soft yet slightly sad smile. "well, my dear, are you ready to face our imminent doom while getting stupidly drunk with my family?"

you laugh slightly at his dry delivery and grasp his hand in yours.

"ready as i'll ever be."

.

.

.

the ceremony is sickly sweet, perfect for the match-up that is luther and sloane. the way they look at each other during their vows pulls on your heartstrings. but you have to remind yourself that you're happy for them. there's no point in being jealous or sad now.

after the ceremony, you and your merry band of heroes make it to the dance floor, with you and allison heading straight to the drinks table. you watched her as she downed her glass in a few seconds, feeling bad at the state of the woman who you've come to know as a close friend. but if you were in her position you would have gone off the rails long ago. a voice in the back of your head tells you you have.

the reception is lovely, and the bride and groom very much in love despite the weirdness of it all. and the fact that they choose to prioritize and focus on their love rather than the apocalyptic events happening just outside…it gives you a sense of hope.

when reginald gives his speech it's safe to say everyone in the room is stunned. you've barely gotten to know three variations of the hargreeves patriarch but you know that he's far from a pleasant person. during late nights doing paperwork at the commission you and five would share stories about your respective childhoods, with his being as dark as you expected from the stand-offish man. but it felt nice to know that he trusted you so deeply.

after the initial reception, there's some downtime for everyone to indulge in the surprisingly above-average food from the hotel's bar and restaurant. you get yourself a plate before sitting at a table near the back of the room, silently eating and drinking and observing the family around you.

you're interrupted by lila pulling out and sitting in the chair next to yours, sitting sideways to look you dead on.

“would you please stop with the puppy dog eyes and make a move on that little turd? seeing the two of you dance around each other has made me sick for years.”

your voice sputters as you try to come up with an excuse, having not expected the girl to call you out so brazenly. she raises her eyebrows as she knows she got you stuck and you let out a sigh.

“it wouldn't matter if i did. even if he felt the same we’re all going to die in a day's time. and id rather not spend this last day with him awkwardly.”

“so you're going to die wondering? never knowing if he liked you back? and i thought i was dumber when it came to relationships.”

“that's still debatable.”

“hey!” she lightly punches you in the shoulder, laughing at your slight wince. “you know im right. not to get sappy but… it's much better when they know how much you care.

as she speaks her gaze wanders over to diego and you have to hold yourself back from rolling your eyes at the sight of their barely hidden lovesickness.

you were close to brushing off her comments again when her arm quickly juts out to knock into yours, lifting her chin slightly to the left. you turn your head and none other than five stands beside you, his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets before one comes out to lay flat in front of you.

“would you care for a dance, y/n?”

with his abnormally soft smile (and lila’s not-so-subtle jab to your other arm), you accept his offer and gently place your hand in his so he can lead you to the dance floor. you can’t help but notice how there's a slow song playing and the only other couple on the dance floor are the newlyweds.

he turns from leading you to standing right in front of you, the closeness taking you by surprise. he smiles at you, moving your hands to wrap around his arms as his go around your waist and shoulder.

“a waltz? seriously? you always seemed to hate those at the company dances.” you tease.

“probably because gertrude wallhaven would always try to dance with me.”

“she just had a little crush on you. lots of the women did. you were the five hargreeves, after all.”

five smiles at your words, starting the slow dance that you know by heart. “is that a bit of jealousy i hear?”

you scoff and roll your eyes. five always was a tease when he drank. “you’d like it to be, wouldn't you? ever the conceited one.”

he huffs a short laugh, swinging you around quickly so you do the same. “well, that is one reason.”

“and what may be the other one, if you would be so kind as to inform me.” you smile up at him, the alcohol starting to take an effect on you and cause you to become more open than usual.

“that I'm deeply in love with you and its been driving me crazy-ow!”

your mind is completely blank for a few seconds before you realize that not only have you stopped dancing but you that you also just crushed five’s foot with your own.

“oh my god, five, im so sorry,” you quickly trying to apologize and help your struggling partner. he stands up as straight as he can, slightly bent on his right side as he waves your worries off.

“peter donahue always did say you had a killer stomp on the dance floor. now i can see why he kept going to the infirmary.” five gives you a strained smile, taking your hands in his again.

“just another one of my many talents.”

you both restart your dance, this time with no words shared. five occasionally tries to hold eye contact with you, and you make sure to avoid it every time. you don't know what to make of his confession. if it was heartfelt or a spur-of-the-moment confession that was given since you would all be dead within a day. you knew as soon as you looked into his bright eyes you would crumble.

but five knew that like he knew everything about you. he took your hand and grasped your fingers together before bringing your arms above your heads and bringing them down between you, and you cant help but stare into his eyes as he does the same.

“please tell me you meant it. because if you didn't then i don't know what i’d do.” you plead, grasping his hand to your chest.

“do you remember that mission in bali, where we had to terminate that guy who found a cure for cystic fibrosis? we there for maybe two hours and you kept complaining about the heat.”

“it was a steady 80 degrees and we were wearing commission suits, of course i was miserable.”

“im aware. it was when we finally killed the guy and you took some of his cash to get some better clothes and you somehow managed to convince me to come down with you to the beach. we were sitting in the sand and it was annoying as all hell but you seemed so happy that i couldn't even complain. and i just knew.”

your chest tightens. “knew what?”

“that i loved you. that i still do. and that i’m an idiot for waiting so long to tell you. guess our impending doom and the cheap liquor finally gave me the courage to say something.” he finishes, holding you close as you stand in the middle of the dance floor. you know some of his siblings are bound to be staring because of the close display but you can find it in you to care. all that matters is that you finally have the love of your life in your arms, even if just for a short while.

“not to be pushy but i haven't heard an “i love you” back so im getting pretty worried over here.” five jokes, staring at you with love but worry in his eyes

you laugh at five’s joke, bringing your lips to his cheek to give him a short but sweet kiss. “i love you too, partner.”

“good. now, what do you say we get drunk off our asses and have the best night of our lives with my dysfunctional family?

you smile. “i couldn't ask for anything better.”

.

.

[ad-hawkeye]

So... Modern Alkaid "yearns to be a free bird", used to try really difficult stunts to achieve this feeling, almost accidentally died on a mountain because of it, and rarely talks about himself or his life in detail?? How did this travel event just make me *more* curious???

OKAY ANON!! LITERALLY!!! SHAKES YOU LITERALLY!!

quite honestly i just can’t fucking believe my personal theory that all the alkaids have a flagrant disregard for their own lives for one reason or another has been given further evidence in yet another universe. and it’s the MODERN universe of all things. like i know his introduction was him literally passing out on a snowy mountain but that could have easily been passed off as some one off incident rather than it being an established thing that modern alkaid just constantly pushes boundaries to feel free.

and i feel like it’s so fucking sweet that mc “helps him find his way back”… which i was thinking about this a bit ago, but notice how this applies to every single alkaid? every single alkaid would be dead of his own actions if it weren’t for mc. if he didnt meet her. think about it.

modern alkaid would have died in the mountains. godheim alkaid would have died following a failed daphephoria, or due to becoming a glacial butterfly. eden alkaid’s plan was to die at the end of the countdown. and nightingale alkaid would have succumbed to his curse and stabbed himself to create a red rose.

i could be completely off base, but i feel like the perfect hurt/comfort angst storm is brewing. im literally just waiting for the other shoe to drop with modern alkaid. and if not? heh, well. let's just say i'm gonna be brushing the dust off ao3

[peachywontyell]

i have a crush on jenny and jaime and im brainrotting really really bad. this is all purely self-indulgent. the chances of me doing this again with 18+ thoughts are high.

poly jaime & jenny🫶🏾

-being friends (the kind that definitely have something going on but neither dare to name it) with jaime through uni. after graduation you both promise to keep in touch; it falls through immediately.

-thinking it's something you did, but really his life just got turned upside-down in less than 48hrs. hes a little occupied.

-you hear the news about kord industries, but it's not like they say what- or who- happened. all you know is the company has a new president and she's gorgeous.

-bumping into jaime en la tiendita de la esquina after impulsively moving to palmera city a year or so later. he somehow looks better. buffer, more confident- and so apologetic after he recognizes you.

-he invites you out for drinks later that night, begging with those pretty brown eyes of his. so you say yes, cause you both know you can't say no when he's looking at you like that.

-it went well. well enough that you're heading back to his apartment. and you know nothing is going to happen, but you're still nervous.

-yes, you both crash on his couch after even more (very drunk) soft chatter. no, you didn't expect to wake up to the smell of coffee and gentle clatter of plates.

-here you are though, half awake, using jaime as a pillow, really confused cause he didn't mention anything about having a roommate.

-sitting up to greet whoever it was and the words die on your tongue when you see who it is, cause what the hell is jenny kord doing in his kitchen and why is she offering you coffee and waffles with a smile so sweet you're not sure you can stomach any more sugar.

-but you do. her waffles are delicious and you're sure she's made of pure magic cause she got your coffee perfect first try. you almost spit it out when jaime gives her a sleepy good morning kiss though.

-you were already blushing, a bit flustered sure, but you were playing it off like you were just nervous to meet such a prominent figure. but this you couldn't play off.

-after many apologies and saying that nothing happened between you two, jenny looks as calm as ever as she tells you that it's okay, even if something had happened, it would have been okay. there is a flicker of something in her eyes and you can not put a name to it, but it's not negative.

-you run out of there, spewing something about remembering that someone was coming over for repairs. you're sure you only began to breathe again as soon as you stepped through your door.

-they both find it hilarious sure, but jaime tells her she can't just say those things to you, cause you fluster easily. she makes it a little game, which one of them can fluster you the most.

-you feel like you are going crazy. a month or two after the first introduction with jenny and lots of hangouts...now you're sure that they're both...hitting on you? but that's crazy, right?

-wrong. you're being guided to a more secluded part of the dancefloor at a strangers party by jenny and you know you're wrong.

-yes, you're drunk, so is she and her hands are on your hips pulling you closer and closer while some reggaeton plays in the background and now you find yourself throwing ass on your....friends? girlfriend while her fingertips sink into your flesh deliciously. you could get used to this.

-too focused on trying not to die from the feeling, you completely miss jaime and jenny sharing a smirk and a nod.

-you're sure they planned it cause it was too perfect of a coincidence. jenny left you, obviously hot and definitely bothered, saying she was gonna go get you guys drinks and all you could do was nod. as soon as she leaves, you blink, and there's jaime.

-you start to apologize for what just happened and shut up as quickly as you started because he is suddenly so close and asking if he could also have a dance and you're sure you're dreaming.

-the next morning, the only thing you know is that you're in a bed, it smells familiar, there is someone playing with your hair and a different arm across your waist.

-you don't know who changed you out of your clothes and both of the options have your head spinning so you choose not to think about it. a very needed conversation is had like that, cuddled in bed. you almost turn into mush when they ask you to join their relationship.

-now you've got two partners. and you gonna make up for lost time.

[bluxb3rry]

❝𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞!❞↳෴੭˚ ༘♡·˚₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 💙

Han Jisung x male reader!

he/him pronouns!

english is not my frist language! kinda wanna make a part two of this one...idk

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

Han Jisung heard the rumours in his town, that there was a monster in the lake, the one deep in the forest where light cannot reach, anytime that someone tries to see the place...they never comeback.

-where the fuck are you going?-

of course he didn't believe that, he has to see so he can believe, he knows nobody really tried to go, so, he should give a little try.

-just gonna look to the forest for a bit, you know, connect with nature and things like that-he said while packing up everything is his bag.

-bullshit, you going to that lake-minho replied-you know, you could die

-i won't die because theres nothing there-Han said with an "obvious" tone

-but, if something is there you could die-minho shows his own bag-so im going with you

-really?-

-only to the entrace of the deep forest-

So, the two friends decided to start walking together to said forest, one more nervouse than the other, they were just talking to ignore the fact that Jisung would be walking alone one big part of the forest.

When both went in the forest and finally saw the fence that separated the nice forest to the bad forest, Jisung finally sighed and looked at minho.

-see ya in a hour-

-you better-

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

-well, still nothing-

Jisung walked for about thirty minutes now, but only really saw some flowers and nothing else, he was getting pretty bored and the time was getting closer to an end, he really wanted to see something, anything!

And then, he heard it.

It was a melody, a beautiful melody, it was very loud and you could hear maybe even some echo but it was still so subtle and so sweet, it didn't hurt at all.

Jisung walked and walked till he got to an lake, a very big one.

So he realized something, the rumours where lying, the light was there in perfect position, only really in some places of the lake and still very little light because of the amount of trees that hide it, but it was enough to show how transparent and pretty the water was, some fireflies and flowers, the butterflies flying around something in specific, and there it was.

A man or something close to one, seemed to shine under the light and had small blue spots in his back that he could see but also blue scales decorating it, his hair wet and a few drops of water in his skin.

And then his voice, ooooh his voice, Jisung could hear it for ages and still never get tired of it, so he walked and tried to be silent.

Key word, tried.

The moment he made a little noise, the man looked at him and he was able to see the most beautiful eyes in his life, it looked like gems, but then, the man quickly hide to the lake, the sound of splashing water being the last thing he heard.

-wait!-he went more close to the lake but not so much-i-im not gonna hurt you! i promise! im sorry if i scared you!

Theres was still silence, so, Jisung tried by being more close and looked to the lake, then he felt water in his face.

-go away! o-or i could kill you!-he heard the voice more deep in the water

-um, are you sure about that?-Jisung question him and then saw a head slowly appearing under the water, and only the same eyes looking at him

-i could try....if you hurt me-the timid voice just made Jisung smile a little but also feel sad because of that.

-hurt you? why would i?-

The eyes looked at him kinda surprised but then hide again under the water, but this time, a tail appeard, a fish tail.

-mermaid...-

-merman!-the man appeard again looking at him-im not a women!

-mermaid sound more pretty to-

-still-he sighed and then showed more his face-aren't you going to hurt me?

-no, why?-

-they tried!-

Then jisung understood, this wasn't a monster that scare's, this was a creature scared.

-i won't! i promise!-

-thank god, i don't want to do things i don't like to do-

Jisung just sat there, in front of him, ignoring how he only had twenty minutes to return.

-what's your name?-

-...y/n-

-hi y/n! im Han Jisung-

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

[xxchthonicreaturexx]

Matchup Trade

Hey hey! This is our Twisted Wonderland & Tokyo Revengers matchup @babulejka

Twisted Wonderland

Malleus Draconia

You thought Id match you with Vil, didn't you? PSYCHE (I was-) BUT I decided on someone much more fitting. A FUTURE KING-

OKAY SO firstly and lastly Malleus is an amazing lover. Maybe a little ignorant on modernization, and sometimes he's not around when it comes to duties but OMG he's gonna treat you like a damn QUEEN (i mean cuz you're gonna be-)

He thinks you look exceptionally good in purple and green and he compares you to Sleeping Beauty a lot with your pretty golden hair and graceful body. Only he's not gonna curse you-

Well...maybe at times he wants to lock you in a tower, but that's just because he gets nervous about his human companions. He feels an intense need to protect them since they die so easily smh-

Would love to see you perform dances, but would also love to just relax and listen to your music. He himself may even ask if he could sing while you play an instrument.

He's a fae. Of course he knows all about herbs and all kinds of creatures. You wanna go explore? He'll take you to some fae lands if you promise to stay by his side. You wanna grow some plants with him? He knows a few secret tricks to make them grow 10x better. And I bet he has this talent where he can just automatically tell you all species of insects and woodland critters you come across. May even get you a chance to pet a deer if you're quiet enough.

Omg please make a doll or puppet with his horns on it. He'd be so awestruck like "Oh- you made a fae doll? For me?" now it's being put up on a shelf and very well maintained for thousands of years. While your match down below is more a physical attraction, Malleus very much is attracted to your soul. Your curiosity and wonder and your light-hearted tone.

Overall hes a 9/10. Very loving, very attentive, but also he's gonna outlive you. Plus he can be a bit melodramatic about things- hes so emo-...

Runnerups- Azul Ashengrotto, Vil Schoenheit

Tokyo Revengers

Taiju Shiba

Hear me out- hear me out hear me out hear me out

Listen I know he's not the best...I like to think of myself as the No.1 Taiju Hater. BUT I could see how you guys would be a cute couple.

Okay okay soooo let's start this.

Taiju is a very religious man. This meaning, I believe he would like feminine women. He'd probably meet you at a show where you were performing ballet or something of the sort and when mingling after the show, you two had began talking. (Dont you dare ask my why he'd be there. To appreciate the dance? Idk maybe Yuzuha secretly does ballet-)

But your sweet and polite personality further deepened his attraction. Despite how cruel of a man he can be, he is fully capable of being polite right back. Especially to someone he personally sees as a perfect woman. As toxic as that is-

Once you get to know each other better, its safe to say he'll raise a brow at some things, but a part of me really wants him to at least become a little less shitty of a person after the whole Christmas fiasco-

Omg so Christmas is a holiday made to celebrate the birth of Jesus HOWEVER Jesus was born near late summer. Christmas was made so Christians could cover up what was originally a Pagan holiday and to help convert Pagans to Christianity. Im not sure if you know that fact if youve researched Pagans (Not assuming your religion just that Pagans are associates with Witches/Wiccans ei. Wicca is a type of Paganism to my knowledge) BUT ANYWAYS if you were to talk about witch culture or somehow dropped or came across that fact and TOLD HIM- omg.

Bro has a cross tattooed on his back, he would be like- questioning everything because no way Christmas is a lie??? (Or maybe he knows and just doesnt give a fuck?) He heavily side eyes any other religion but his own. But, if you wanted to educate him on mythology, witchcraft , astrology, any of those other spiritual beliefs he will at least listen so he can know more. (To hate them better <3)

Okay now that ive rambled-

Old Hollywood type beauty? He's taking you to all kinds of restaurants and clubs. Best believe he's getting you all these dresses too. Elegant and modest ones that are still flattering and sexy. Only the best for his woman of course.

As much as i dont like him he would be a very good lover. Like, can be a little controlling, but he is attentive and devoted. He admires your beauty, your grace, your work ethic...but he also wants to work for you. Hes old fashioned, he believes its his job as a man to provide for you.

All in all? Uh

id say 6.5/10. Hes really tall and strong and independent but also...beat his siblings and things hes a king or something idk- But like IN HIS DEFENSE being the oldest is very hard, especially with no parental figures.

Runnerups- Mitsuya Takashi, Tetta Kisaki

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e5 episode reaction:

well I really hope the cliffhanger isn't horrifying bc this week is gonna be really fucking long

let's fuckin do this

"tired" and it's just him contending w the fact that erik might have been violently homophobic

i can excuse [rolls down a 6ft long papyrus] but I draw the line at being racist - august, probably

"family" LMFAO sure dumbass

seriously those girls are acting like sara and felice broke up (and I get it, friendship breakups are horrifying but damn)

"are you on something?" MY LITERAL FIRST QUESTION SKFISJFKSJFKDJF

I feel like micke is gonna die. idk.

his own letter? why?

oh. hello ludwig. i forgot what your voice sounded like.

"it's hard for her to show weakness" yeah well so it is for all of us. be a mother. show up for your son.

naaaaaaaaaaa volvete serio ludwig

wdym he was perfect. are you serious. do no adults in this show have the slightest bit of common sense?? you're talking to erik's spare my man. erik's little brother who now has to take on everything erik had to do. be the most fuckin for real rn

of fucking COURSE

"it'll be nice to celebrate you. and to meet simon too" ok that was sweet.

yeah wille being in the choir was starting to feel too weird skfjdkfjd

okay? calm your tits my man? simon hasn't said anything?

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON????? HE'S LITERALLY DEFENDING ERIK?????????

oooooookay kristina jr.

ohhhh it was sara's locker. ok.

oh micke is dead isn't he

FELICE DOING WILLE'S NAILS AAAAAA

HE'S PAINTING THEM PURPLE SOULMATISM

also is this the writers acknowledging the nonbinary wille headcanons bc.......

I can't believe wille likes doing his nails. that's so fuckin nonbinary of him.

god I wish micke had been dead. that is SO much worse.

pls don't get into a car crash sara

linda honey no. it doesn't fit him perfectly it's goddamn huge on him.

love shouldn't be this hard I agree linda

oh fuck me

oh her little face sara no

oh sara is breaking my goddamn heart

WILLE'S PURPLE NAILS

wilhelm, why do you have nail polish remover in your room

MI WILLE I'M GONNA FUCKING BLOW MY BRAINS OUT

omg malin was willing to be bribed. back to fanon malin we go (after the shit show that was season 2)

WHY IS HE WEARING THE PYJAMA PANTS AGAIN SIMON

okay this is killing me inside. this is too much.

BECAUSE THERE'S A RISK OF POISONING SJFKDJFKJFDKFJDKFKFKFKDLRK

simon's FACE im

SHE CURTSIED @ SIMON

I know he must have felt disgusting sjfkdjfk

after pretty much 3 years of a polar opposite fanon interpretation I cannot *believe* I'm witnessing kristina and ludwig being genuinely happy about meeting simon. this is so insane

august are you staring at sara's boobs

oh a rolex

OH IS IT BECAUSE OF ERIK

IT IS BECAUSE OF ERIK OG FUCKKKKK

I missed sara and felice I'm ngl. I love my tiny baby girls

oh kristina is about to throw up isn't she lmfao

ludwig is being weirdly nice. this is so strange.

ludwig and simon chatting away while kristina is about to choke and die

hold on. IS kristina gonna die?

even during wille's birthday they can't stop yapping about erik. my god do royals genuinely only care about their firstborn? god

NOT DILF HUNTER SJROSUFOSIDOD

class bad boy slfjdlgj I think they had to have done that on purpose. I mean vincent didn't wanna give him the satisfaction of giving him another award. I can assure you.

august is such a *sad* character oh my god

I WISH I HAD DONE THINGS DIFFERENTLY WITH YOU NAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW

oh of course she kissed him.

WHAT A SNITCH WTF

im

"please don't leave me alone with your parents like that again" honestly wille they could've eaten him alive

my god wilhelm you're being SO NASTY

OH HE'S GOING OFFF

oh ldkgldjgldjfldjffl

I can ASSURE YOU during my s2 liveblogging at one point I basically wrote "[points at ludwig] AND YOU" bc i was so fucking done with his bullshit skrjdlrkdlrkld

to hear wille going AND *YOU* is fucking sending me help

IT ISN'T EASY TO BE BOTH YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR BOSS OH FUCK OFF KRISTINA

I NOTICED BECAUSE YOU'RE SO USELESS AT BOTH HOLY FUCKING SWEET JESUS CHRIST

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD

me rn:

my god this is the most cathartic shit I've seen in my life

OH AND SIMON IS WATCHING THE WHOLE THING

god

I knew the cliffhanger was gonna be that

but I didn't expect them to cry like that nor did I expect ME to cry like that

bro I'm sobbing I can't wait another week

[angelmichelangelo]

Hey you know would be fun? You could rank your favorite to least favorite iteration of each of the four boys. Btw sorry for all these asks lol

OH THAT WOULD BE FUN!! don’t be sorry i haven’t had asks in months so it’s all good friend! okay here we go:

starting with leo.

least favourite leo would for SURE be the bayverse version. now.. i am the Few that actually enjoys those movies (sue me, they came out when i was first getting into tmnt so they hold some nostalgia value) but ive mentioned before my gripe with bayverse!leo just because he’s so narrow minded and so set aside from mike, raph and don. it feels like he’s their awkward older cousin that lives with them rather than a brother. bayverse!leo get in the bin. michael bay, you can join him whilst he’s there, actually. why did you do my boy dirty like this, huh?

my favourite leo would be 2003! i just really enjoy his storylines! i like that he’s far from perfect! i think he’s well written and he is a good balance of all the ingredients that make leo Leo!! plus leosagi <33333

now raphael.

least favourite version of raph would be.. rise? this is hard because like i said in my last ask, i genuinely enjoy all versions of raph! i’m just gonna say raph just because i like it when he has his typical anger issues. UGH but it’s so hard because he’s so Eldest Daughter in rise. it’s official: i do not have a least favourite raph. it is simply impossible. even bayverse!raph is good lol

favourite raph is easily 2012. sean austin the man that you are, that is MY raphael. as an anger issues girlie i just relate to this raph. he loves his brothers and i will die on the hill that is defending him with every breath i have. we love 2012 in this house and we love 2012 raph even more.

donnie’s turn!!

gonna be super duper controversial with this one so im putting on bubble wrap to protect myself but least favourite donnie is… rise. oops. HEAR ME OUT!! i am totally fine with others liking rise don. i get the appeal. but my heart will forever love gentle, soft, sweet donnie, and whilst the change up in rise is COOL as hell, i just can’t with the sarccy, cold, snarky version of him. (plus i have a LOOOOT to say about ahem. certain stereotypes when it comes to writers creating canonically autistic characters but that’s another rant for another time) ONCE AGAIN!! i still enjoy his character!! but i just don’t find him to be my favourite.. okay swiftly moving on lol

favourite donnie is EAAAASSILY 2007 don. he’s basically a side character in that movie alongside mike but BOY OH BOY he’s just so fantastic. he’s so fun. i could write essays about how he held that stupid family together. give him a medal. give him the moon idc he deserves it. 2007 is a winner

and now for my golden boy, michelangelo

least favourite mikey? im probably gonna go with mutant mayhem???? again, i enjoyed his character and i think his va was like perfect! but he was pretty underutilised in that movie and im really desperately hoping that he’s bumped up from background comic relief to something more in the show and sequel. he’s only on the bottom of the list because he didn’t really do much in the movie except nearly die lol rip

favourite mikey? idw. bodies all the rest of the turtles in every iteration. idw mikey is funny, clever, smart, has great storylines plus we get my meat and potatoes woodyangelo. that’s all i really ever need lol. plus idw mikey checks splinter and that’s like. the best. put that rat DOWN mike !!!