#IM AT THE EARTHS CORE RN

[bacchuschucklefuck]

okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is

[izzy-b-hands]

You know how there are some days where nothing goes like. Fully wrong? But a few key details of each task you try to do goes juuuuuuust wrong enough to be irritating but it's like. Well, surely the rest of them won't be like this. I'm gonna keep going and make progress and feel good about it!

And then you're wrong about that and they all build up and you kind of want to scream, even though you're the sort of person who can't actually name the last time you full on, like out alone in the woods, screamed that hard/loud? Or you consider napping because if you're asleep then nothing else can go wrong?

Yeah.

[harbingersglory]

Silently shaking your hand in butch who loves a pretty femme.

SHAKING IT VIGOROUSLY i love femmes sm femmes are literally so gorgeous sorry i hear someone mention them and i do Not stop talking. everyone please act shocked i went down the ningguang main to miko main pipeline.

[yayasvalveplay]

Okay before we focus TOO much on the Earth Arc because I wanna try to put stuff from before BECAUSE I GOTTA A LOT— starting from when Tronus was born/created by the Matrix including some scenes and some WIPS like this

IM WORKING ON IT I SWEAR IM JUST THIS CAT

I want to focus on cyberton first and the relationships Tronus has and what happens rn, especially with Megatron when he gets imprisoned; and the part with Primus's core; as much as I love the idea of Ghost Orion haunting Megatron to time and space. I don't think he should exist- at least not with limits

No no noooo ☝️I want this mech to have consequences to his actions; sure he shot Orion accidentally — but he still let go of Orion, Megatron gave up on him and basically killed him. In canon he wasn't even happy/focused on the fact he killed him or that Orion/Optimus came back

The only reason he even falters in going foward with his plans from destruction to killing the new Prime someone else crawling out of the well instead of Orion right there is because of the sire coding,.

Orion doesn't come back; instead it's Tronus Prime, had the sire coding not activated right there and the body horror of watching the Matrix materialize a frame around him, had the uncanny cries of a sparkling not fill everyone's audials. Maybe a naive part of him that was still D-16 hoped Orion would come back; because its his Amica, his Conjux, Orion Pax who always gets into trouble yet came out of it.

Not this time.

After he gets dog-piled, instead of execution. Megatron gets a little trial and imprisoned past level 50. A fair trial–Something Orion wanted to give Sentinel.

Megatron wouldn't be Megatron if he simply accepted being imprisoned, that Orion wasn't coming back, that the newest Prime, the thought fills his helm with disgust now and makes him want to tear the Prime apart. He can't accept that the thing is his child.

He D-16 can't accept that Orion is actually gone, because that would be like the suns missing their moons or gravity not working. It just can't.

It hurts more when Tronus comes down for the first time; with a grieving Elita and B-127. Elita who glares at him and B-127 who's quiet and refuses to look at Megatron, refusing to look at Tronus.

Megatron would never be trusted to be alone with Tronus, let alone see him. That means he's always alone down there, minus the gaurds who watch him and provide the basics for prisoners.

Isolation that made B-127 create false people out of desperation.

Megatron is not immune, no matter how hard he tries, no matter how hard he tries to ignore the feeling of realization.

Orion isn't coming back. His rage killed him.

Anyways have a rare happy Tronus doodle he is my bunny son ❤️

No wait, wait. Mion, you are so right about all of this. I just got a little crazy for the earth arc, and let stuff fly, we are toning it down. We are letting Megatron suffer for the crimes he had committed.

He is not immune to isolation. And Perhaps Orion is a manifestation, for a long time. It's HIS Orion, the one who'd chat his audio off, or lean on him when they are too tired from work. It's the Orion he didn't kill.

But sometimes he will get Cogged Orion, the Orion that looks upon him with sadness, hurt, asking why he had let go, they could of rebuilt the world together, These Orions Megatron is more violent, calling Orion out for stepping infront of him, how dare he stepped infront of him. They could of remade the world together, him and Orion.

But he had to go and play hero. get himself killed.

But why did he drop him, why did he let him go, was he that angry with Pax, he'd let him fall to his death, not knowing if he ever saw him again?

But he wanted to see him again, he wanted to see Orion fixed, and better crawling out of that pits with his world view, and allowed to kill, allowed to destroy.

But what he got was a parasite, something overtaking and trying to be a mech, who says that they are his child. who had his sire protocol activate. He is not falling for a false prime again. He told Orion that much before, He should understand how he feels, and yet he is being berated, yelled/ cried at.

He can't, take the voices any more.

ANYWAYS Thank you for the art as always AHHH I can not wait to see more of it!!!

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[my-dear-clematis]

Hiii Mizi

Can we get your opinion on everyone else in ALNST, from the perspective of yourself in canon? 👀

- @ruler-ofthe-stage

OF COURSE YOU CAN HI LUKA !! (I expect yours as well after this /lh /nf)

Starting with the best person there!! SUA:

Honestly, probably my favorite person. I can say YES we were girlfriends (or. Partners I guess considering I'm like. Not a girl AJJSHAJJHS), and that makes me so ridiculously happy. She was everything to me. I loved (love.) her with everything I had (have). When I said she was "My god, my universe", I meant it. But we weren't just that. We were best friends. We were each other's lights. We were a team. We were everything you could want and more. She was less,, overly optimistic like I was, but when you were someone she cared about, she was so gentle and sweet??? I could go on about Sua for AGESSS (And you will be getting that eventually, trust), but I feel for the sake of fairness I will try to move on. Plus when I think about Sua my brain just goes: "AKJSJKASHJKAHSJAHJKHSAJHJSAHJHSHJKA SUAAAAAAAAAAA" which. Is kind of hard to transcribe.

Next!! TILL:

To be honest it's kind of weird knowing Till was in love with me because??? I was never in love with him AKSKAJS but we were very good friends. I cared about him a lot, and we were very close. Not as close as me and Sua, of course, but still very close. We got into a lot of Shenanigans together, and it was a bunch of fun. Also Till was just??? Cool as hell?? Like- That's just an objective fact, I fear.

IVAN!!:

Every theory that says that me and Ivan were besties? Real.

Ivan is so >>>>>>

Big brother core!!

Ivan was so nice to just??? Sit and exist with. Like he seems intimidating but he's literally the sweetest and silliest person on earth TRUST.

He was also very comfy to fall asleep on (/hj /silly)

HYUNA!!!:

LITERALLY THE COOLEST PERSON EVER GUYS

I'm not kidding when I say Hyuna saved my life in more ways that one. First off she saved me from getting killed, and she also just. Gave me back a reason to live? She helped me understand myself, and understand everything I'd been through. Sure, she kept the energy up, but at the rebel's base everyone really cared for each other, and you could tell. Speaking of which, I probably won't do something specific for the members of the Rebellion, but I want to know that they were so incredibly kind and lovely. Even with how oblivious/naive I'd been before, it was the first time I'd ever felt fully supported and safe by everyone around me, not just by a few special people (Sua, Ivan, and Till, for instance).

But Hyuna was such a wonderful person. She taught me so many things. She helped me understand my gender, she taught me how to ride a motorcycle, how to stand up for myself, how to be myself. There are so many things I wish I could thank her for.

Finally, the last one I'm gonna discuss rn, LUKA!!:

Bitch.

(/lh /j)

IM KIDDING IM KIDDING OKAY???

Okay, look. I did not much like Luka the few times I met him. I didn't know him very well at all, and the first time I properly met him (I think) was when I was competing against him. So I was like,, not in the best of states. I think for a while after that, I full hated him. It took me talking to Hyuna about it for my thoughts to change a little. Hyuna never told me much, but she told me enough. I still didn't like him, but I grew to understand that it wasn't necessarily his fault, it was the fault of the world we were living in. Luka was just doing what he had to in order to survive. I may not have liked him, but I could sympathize with that.

Ummmm yeah that's all I got for now. I've already shared my thoughts on my Alien owner. And you already know I'm part of the Heperu hate club soooo.

Anyway YOUR TURN @ruler-ofthe-stage :D

[maxmoffs]

no im not replying to drafts and saving prompts to kill time while waiting for the fireworks in public on pier rn…. 🥹 it’s 2 hours before midnight yall , my new year post is quite early but. 🥹happy new year everyone 🎆 i wish nothing but joy and continuous hope for everyone to just live life and have their heart's desires , please remember that you are loved, and that you are SUPPOSED to be on this earth just as much as everyone else. as long as you're never hurting anyone, and continuing to keep kindness at the core of your light, there's nothing that could ever go wrong in your path. you're allowed to take up space. just as much as everyone else. 💗

[gokubrain]

are you aware of the hit vegeta image song ‘love is like a ballad’ from the fusion reborn soundtrack where it’s essentially a kakavege love song 😭😭

https://www.animelyrics.com/anime/dbz/ainobaraado.htm

and i’m 99.9% sure it’s about goku too because it uses the word ‘yatsu’ which is only used by men to refer to other men in a derogatory way… it drives me so insane

OH YOU ALREADY KNOWWWW IM WELL AWARE OF THIS LMFAO thank u for giving me the chance to talk about it HAHA

under here cuz its kind of a lot:

lets break down the lyrics shall we ..

right off the fucking bat. starting off STRONG. for vegeta to even have the thought “on this small earth life must be protected to the end” is such a good line but pairing it with “but whenever i look at you i feel like a fool” CRAAZYYYYY. insane. protecting the earth is a huge part of all the earthlings’ characters, and without goku, vegeta wouldnt have those feelings. to talk about protecting earth in one line and then immediately talk about goku next is wildddd. “i want to protect the earth, you taught me the importance of that, and yet when i look at you im reminded that it’s because of YOU that i hold these feelings about this planet.” like okAAAY alright okay!!

“why do i treat you so harshly? why do i hurt you that way? yet still fight against great evils” GRAAAHHHH this is insane right LMAO

vegeta displaying confusion as to why he treats goku the way he does when they share the same goal.. when they fight the same battles.. this self aware-ness is literally what early-stage kakavege IS dude. vegeta feeling conflicted about his actions vs his emotions is the first step to realizing he’s in love with goku.. haha. lol

“for the sake of love […] i would even throw away my rank” VEGETAAA. WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUTTTTT LMFAO….

vegeta suggesting he would disown his own ranking, his pride, something very near and dear to him.. this is also early kakavege core LMAO i mean come on. thats just an insane fucking thing for him to say. unreal.

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER….!!!

“IN TRUTH, THIS POWER IS NOTHING. ALL I KNOW IS YOU.” VEGETA……..!!!!!!!!

ALL I KNOW IS YOU? ALL I KNOW IS YOU???

“although i pretend to be a steel wall […] all i know is you” is just. i mean. EXPLICITLY kakavege. this is kakavege poetry. this is vegeta’s struggle perfectly put into lyric form. i cant believe this fucking song exists lmfao

NOW. NOW..

“the smile you give me is always warm” is wild when thinking about how the entire fusion reborn movie consists of 45 minutes of goku smiling lovingly at vegeta LMAO DONT EVEN THINK VEGETA DIDNT NOTICE. !!

“here i am, offering myself completely if we can be together”

AINT THAT JUST THE ICING ON THE CAKE FOLKS. DONT THAT JUST BEAT ALL LMFAO. ANYONE ELSE FEEL SUPER NORMAL RN?

offering myself completely. giving my all to you. devoting myself to you. THIS IS ONE OF THE FUCKING BUILDING BLOCKS OF KAKAVEGE DUDE. THIS IS ONE OF THE RUNNING THEMES, A KAKAVEGE LEITMOTIF. THIS IS SO VEGETA. I WANNA DIE LMFAO

“if we can be together” …. i mean. what even is there to say about that. how much more explicit can he be here. this is the most straightforward thing vegeta will ever say in terms of kakavege lmao this is it folks. this is IT !!!

its just unreal right. that a song like this even exists.. i mean its so obviously about goku, talking about training together and vegeta being mean to him and protecting earth together and throwing away his rank….. if you think even for one second that this is about bulma you are BLIND. like lets all be serious a moment lmao

and i love that this is related to fusion reborn of all things. that movie is the fucking kakavege bible dude i SWEAR. this whole song makes so much sense if you see fusion reborn as a love story, it all fits so perfectly with how vegeta would theoretically be feeling during the (vaguely referenced) place in the timeline that this movie takes place. this is buu arc shit baby its the point of no return for vegeta its the beginning of the end.. he is realizing his feelings for goku.. i live for this shit man seriously this is what i thrive on

also the goddamn song is called “love is like a ballad” i mean what else can even be said lmfao ..!

[dani-ya-dig]

OKAY I FINALLY HAVE TIME SO ITS TIME FOR DANI TO FINALLY RANT ABOUT THE SAM AUDIO!!!

Written as I’m listening to the audio again so I don’t forgor.

I think it’s been out long enough to avoid spoiler but I’m gonna put the cut just because this post is probably gonna be really long.

The beginning of this audio scares the shit out of me not matter how many times I listen to, like he is fucking ZOOMING. At least this time he has a reason to be zipping all over the place. Unlike in his “talking about the future” audio where that motherfucker used vamp speed up the stairs for no goddamn reason

Also I appreciate the fact that Darlin ran into Sam, fully shifted. They hit him first and only then were like “oh yeah I’m a giant wolf rn”.

CHRIST DARLIN! THE MAN JUST SHOWED UP LET HIM BREATHE BEFORE YOU JUMP HIM

Ugh love me a Sam reverse comfort audio. This is DELICIOUS

Circling back to Sam’s tendency to bury his emotions in the moment, and only allowing himself to feel them when he is in a safe space (cough cough Darlin)

“I guess that says a lot about what family is to me” STOPPPPPPP

“Apparently I’ve got a knack for landing myself in shit. And then sticking around long enough to get convinced it’s all I deserve” IM ACTUALLY FUCKING CRYING I HATE IT HERE. HE IS ME FR.

“I. Am not. A Solaire” DAMN RIGHT SAMMY! GET HIS ASS!

Sam kind danced around this part but I noticed it immediately. The way he kind of paused when he talked about William putting giving him a house as a form of trying to make himself more favorable to Sam. Sam worded it as him favoring stability and needing that. But also like… one thing that Sam talks about repeatedly in his playlist is how important the idea of home is to him. And William gives him a house… an attempt at giving him a home, so that the “home” is inherently tied to him in Sam’s mind.

I know it was well intentioned on William’s part but god it feels fucking grimy nonetheless

Sam might not think that William is and evil mustache twirling villain, but I do /j

Real footage of William Solaire rn

“I’m a healer. Not was. Am.” YES THE FUCK YOU ARE SAM!

No because actually Sam is so right. He IS still good. He CAN still help. I’m not 100% on the lord of vampire or how difficult it would be for a vampire of Sam’s age to externalize magic. But it’s pretty damn impressive that he can do what he can do even after his core was entirely replaced. He must have been a STRONG like super strong freelancer for that much of his powers to remain after his turning. But it’s also not just healing magic he can still manage even though that definitely would have been his specialty and the type of magic he studied the most. The other types of magic we have heard of him doing are also cleaning magic and earth elemental magic (WHICH YO???). Like that’s impressive imo.

Also we have all talked about Sam joining Shaw Security on night shift at this point. BUT!!! After Sam talked about how he wanted to be a healer still but only wasn’t because that wasn’t what the house needed from him. I hope that he gets hired on as Shaw Security’s professional healer <33

I don’t know how viable that would be. But I think it could work. I don’t imagine he would be patching up multiple huge injuries everyday so it could 100% work!! GUYS I SWEAR PLEA–

(Erik if you’re spying through your secret tumblr account give me what I want)

Sam will never have to go to another summit again 🤞

NO ONE WILL PUT THAT MAN IN A SUIT AGAIN!! HE IS FREE!

Sam and Darlin are so in love with each other. They deserve to be happy, just for a little bit. I need a moving audio with them. Them just packing up their shit <33

Okay did I love this video. Yes! It was Sam, so like that’s bound to happen with me lmao. But also like it was just nice. I enjoyed it. I hope Sam gets to find more of who he is outside of the house.

But also because my hyperfixated menace ass can’t keep my nose out of spoiler I KNOW THAT SAM BITES DARLIN IN THE BA AND I JUST COSSBDKDBX

Look I get why it happened logistically. It’s been a long time coming, and now that Sam’s out of the house of Solaire, they aren’t going to be facilitating his need for blood bags anymore. So he is gonna need to feed on something. It makes sense.

But I wish that decision like that regarding trauma Sam has around his turning would stop being made in the aftermath of very emotional moments. Like when he decided he was ready to go further with Darlin, I wish it would have come from a place of “Ive worked through everything that happened to me, and I love you, so I really want to take this next step” instead of “I’ve seen so many people die, and I have been reminded how fragile life is, and I am terrified of the thought of not getting to do this”.

Idk maybe it’s just me, but things like that don’t feel like decisions that should be made when you feel like life is crumbling down around you??

Also it brings up the logistical issue of, Erik didn’t explain that to the non-patreon listeners. So like… if it gets brought up in future audios a lot of people are probably gonna be a little confused, since I only know because I snoop through Sam spoilers.

Eh. But all in all, live laugh love Sam Collins and stay livin la vida loca I guess

[lustenthusiastmainx3]

Pleas yap about aster they seem so silly! What was their home like?

OMG THANK U!! >^<

and Aster as the name implies is a star ! he didn’t have much of a home when he first formed as much as just a little piece of space he didn’t move from until he was the equivalent of a preteen, he quite honestly doesn’t remember much of it and that’s mostly because there isn’t a lot to remember, there’s not a lot of stimulation in open space after all, the most he got was just seeing meteors pass by and some dust clouds with pretty colors so until he was about a preteen he was pretty dormant and basically asleep until a stray asteroid gets a little too close and wakes him up, so there he is all alone and fully aware for the first time ever, and i honestly still don’t have the part where he gets a hang on how to move around and getting to earth but he does after a few years, he has his whole thing and because he as the very least looks like a normal fire monster on earth he gets bullied down towards the underground, this also after like a year or two which to him didn’t seem like all that long while still in space but he finds that the rare interactions he has with people leave him exhausted anyway, so yaay he's with others that at least look like him right:D?? but the thing is that even though monsters are waayy more resistant against his fire than people on the surface its not like they can touch him for any longer than a minute so my boy is still alone af and in fear of hurting people until he meets a skeleton who finds him interesting, this monster is obviously gaster (because im unoriginal) and like im not going the monster experimentation I actually wanna go the wholesome route but also i still dont know how to write it without making Aster Gaster's eldest adopted son who doesnt forget about him after he fcks off into the core because he's technically not supposed to be there, but what basically happens during that time is that while Gaster is creating Sans and Papyrus he also makes Aster a skeleton body so he doesn't burn everything and everyone he cares about, so that happens and rn im between making Aster fck off or stay with sans and papyrus

[dolldefaced]

read the recent stuff and i want to ramble about jason, bc really the rest of this plot was goofy. i appreciated the brief duke + tim stuff tho, cutee i missed u duke hiiii byeeee anyway

we start batman/catwoman: the gotham war the scorched earth #1 with bruce brushing off what he did to jason

at least it's getting better but like there's a fuckton of daily non vigilante activities that jump your adrenaline, you know, like running last issue?

GET HIS ASS JASON GET HIIIIIM!! NEVER LET HIM LIVE THIS DOWN!!!!!!

and HE STILL JUSTIFIES IT jesus

not jason but i think this exchange with zur is interesting because...bruce brushes him off. there is no indication zur is doing anything to him rn.

he's also not as freaked as he was in earlier issues. now these issues have the tone and pacing consistency of the weather in my hometown (none), but we will return to this

jason grabs the batplane and once again saves the fucking day even under the Fear tm. he blows up the meteor and does not die, despite the 5 second fakeout

jason babe literally you do not need to do this. jason's too good you should push him in at this point. comforting him after selina decided to have a 5 minute death....ilu :(

zur ofc could be lying his ass off (but also bruce made zur) and idk if that's the route they're gonna go later but.... honestly i don't think it's 100% zur. i dont think it was ever 100% zur. i think it's 50/50 at max, and maybe even way less in this moment.

also it's been two weeks and there's no indication he's apologized to jason or tried to fix what he did

also dick almost beat him the fuck up and now he's like 'im sure you had your reasons'

beat him again!!! don't say this shit!!! you were right the first time.

he still thinks what he did to jason was right imo!!! and i also read this like...he's saying he's not an example bc of how he is a vigilante...ignoring that the second time he met jason, jason was doing a vigilantism on the ma gunn gang without batman at all...girl it aint about you. the reason you suck is your control issues, not the helping people part, do more of the latter and way less of the former

also read that first bubble! he's justifying it! he's not apologizing!! also no they dont need you going off being fucking wild. dick LITERALLY just offered to help your ass. jesus.

unrelated to jason:

stop making the batfam nuclear. jesus. they dont need a mommy!!!!!!! they dont need 'parents'!!! SOME OF THEM EVEN STILL HAVE THEIR OWN GODDAMN PARENTS. fuck off!!!!!!!!

you can be a family without the nuclear core open your fucking eyes dc!!!!

ending thoughts:

idk i think if dc lets a writer actually go into the crux of bruce being the major problem rn i will enjoy it, because i like fucked up messy family dynamics, but i really don't want this brushed aside like the multitude of other fucked up things bruce has done. history, however, is not on my side. i suspect there will be something big at the end of all this, resulting in another big team up where we dont talk about shit :/ pretty please prove me wrong dc <3

[verdantachillean]

Im good at skool and shit…

BUT I’m also so dense that if I was a metal in the earth, I’d create a whole new layer inside the earth’s core

So dense that I am surprised that I’m not a black hole rn

[dieletztepanzerhexe]

so basically last night i had terrible dreams. not even nightmares, but dreams in which i was doing something dubious to a person i know from real life. it wasn't evil or criminal, but definitely a little bit shady and unpleasant to her. and i woke up feeling like the worst person to ever walk the earth, like i was rotten to the core and should suffer the consequences of all my sins. then i had an hour or two of normalcy and then something happened, i spent the whole day feeling nauseous and so sick i couldn't sit up nor lay down, i couldn't keep my eyes open but closing them didn't help either. i'm pretty sure it was a psychosomatic reaction xD watch me abandon my life in real time bc of a silly dream that gave me creeps xD

im eating kisiel rn.

[knifearo]

hi, i’m having a really hard time rn and i found a post of yours randomly on my dash, so i’m not sure if you’ve already answered a thing like this. if you have, feel free to just ignore this! if you haven’t though, how did you know you were asexual? i feel like romance is just a hypothetical for me, but i crave it so badly. it just feels like the second i try to put anything into action, im suddenly repulsed. but it also makes me so sad that i respond this way. am i just socially anxious, or does this sound like an aromantic who has fallen victim to societal standards?

hi hiiiii!!! first of all: i love you and you're doing great. second of all: being aroace, my discovery of aspec stuff kind of went hand in hand. i was lucky enough to have terminology available to me, and figured it out pretty young; i had a lot of the same stuff going on, though. when someone first suggested i might be ace, i (not really knowing enough about what that meant) said "sure, but i want a partner. someone who's always there with me and supporting me." later that year/the year after, i looked a little more into it and went, "oh, that's what it is!" and then it felt super natural from there to pick up the aromantic label too. to me, they've always been intertwined.

the actual things that helped me Figure It Out were definitely shared experiences (hearing people describe squishes was an aha moment for sure, and hearing someone say that they had thought sexual attraction was a joke and then realizing that it. wasn't an elaborate inside joke. very jarring lmao) but i definitely had the same hesitations when it came to romance. six or seven years after coming out, i've since realized that what i wanted wasn't actually a partner; i was craving intimacy and the feeling of being special and prioritized by someone, and the way i'd been programmed to want that was through a partner. i'm super strong about being non-partnering now, and i feel that all my needs in that direction are met by my close personal relationships, cause what i actually wanted was never romance; at least personally, it never occurred to me that you would probably want to like. kiss a partner. maybe share a bed or smth. not a single thought in my head about that lmao

if you're feeling repulsed, my instinct is to say that it's probably not something that you want. my advice here is to really examine what you're looking for. do you want romance because you want romance, or because amatonormativity has gotten it into your head that romance is the only way that you can have certain things?

another thing to consider is that amatonormativity can and will kind of like. program you to want romance. and it can be really hard to let go of that, even if romance is something that actively repulses/stresses you out. remember that you have a lifetime behind you of being told that romance is the greatest thing on earth, that it completes you, that it's life's ultimate goal, and that that stuff can be hard to overcome. i know a lot of people feel a fair bit of grief over losing the chance at romance, even if the reason is that they don't actually want romance. it's a strange place to be in. your prerogative here is to figure out your own personal relationship with romance, and however it ends up, that's fine.

it's also totally possible that you're aromantic and you just want romance. that's totally fine! wanting romantic interactions does not constitute romantic attraction, which is the core thing here. you can be aromantic and be in a romantic relationship. the external things are not as important as how you feel on the inside.

so much more that i could say, but i'll try and pause myself here for now. to quote one of my own posts: you can literally just be aromantic. it's free and nobody's stopping you. as long as that label is useful to you, it's yours. look more into amatonormativity, think a lot about things, and spend some time in community spaces; you have all the time in the world, and all the support you could ever want from me and the rest of the community <3 stop by in the ask box or the dms anytime! absolute best of luck to you. kisses <3

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

hi my lovely fang!! ramadan kareem! also happy belated isagi day!! loll i’m tipsy doing my skincare and watching formula 1 + premier league football (<-being delusional abt my teams winning. i’m no better than a m*n) but my mind ran on you so i said lemme go blab in your askbox <33

not day drinking or anything dw. just came back in from a bday dinner and then we ended up at a nightclub ?? for some reason ?? the music was really good and it felt good to be out with friends. idk, the old me wouldnt have even entertained the idea of going out so i hope ur proud of me for socializing even when i got drained like an hour into the whole thing.

hope the spring's been good to you so far. (i for one am salty since this weather still feels treacherously winterlike to me.) and remember to pace yourself for school.

life has been so interesting lately: moved out of a toxic household and decided to establish boundaries with family (got villainised for it), trying to learn an instrument as a hobby, became a deku fan (‼️♥️☹️‼️) and an arthur morgan enthusiast (⁉️), my kitchen sink randomly flooded and my landlord was an ass abt it, finally watched howl’s moving castle,

always always still thinking of oliver tho. atp i mentally chant his name like my own personal litany against going apeshit in law school. i think u were talking abt songs that remind u of him and i would like to add for ur consideration: that tyler song w/ pharell? called “ifhy”. also DONT LAUGH but i cannot hear anything off the wiped out album without some association to him. some russ songs too. idk what it is abt that bastard but i enjoy putting him in mental aus he has no business being in: like we both know he’d be a regency AU scoundrel or like a rake or smth and yet i’ll be on the subway crafting it in my mind palace LMAO

back in the day i used to depression-watch the encore westerns channel so those scruffy ruffians u have been read dead posting abt are making my ears perk up a little (a lot).

if i was actually writing you as a legit penpal i would decorate your letter and use different coloured ink and stickers and send u a polaroid and stuff. i am so fond of you like whoa. hugging and squeezing and pulling you 🫂🫂🫂🫂 like taffy!! have a great day and an even greater eid !!

-resident oliver gremlin xoxo

RAMADAN KAREEM EVEN THO I AM ANSWERING POST EID AS SOME KIND OF FOUL BEAST!!!! and happy belated isagi day to u twin i hope it was wonderful

i actually heard alot about the f1 stuff from beloved mutuals posting and general internet circulation!!! lots of . stuff going on in that place from what i can tell . i hope ur special sports guys won i love u !!

also glad ur not drinking too much. a birthday dinner and nightclub feel like a random combo sdjhsdkfj but sometimes u just dont want the night to end so i really get it. im not a club girl either it is so overstimulation for me in a way i have a hard time with so im SO proud of you

i feel u abt spring it is so midwest core how cold it fawking is rn fdkjkhdjfkg. but its fine we ball

ALSO SO PROUD OF U!!!!! setting boundaries w fam is sooo dogshit but u did right by yourself and thats all that matters. iA it becomes easier. also instrument, deku fan, and arthur....... ohhh anon it has been a busy and fun life i see.

I MISS OLIVER SOOO FREAKING MUCH IM HAPPY U BRING HIM UP. i agree ifhy by tyler suits him so much im going to throw my guts up fkgjdffgklsd. also no he is very russ song actually.... best on earth ft him and bia.... i will eat glass. im glad his horrible and annoying ass can support the bad beautiful shorty u are thru law school... the most he is capable of im afraid. ALSO WAIT REGENCY AU KIND OF EATS...... WILL BE SIMMERING ON THAT ..... i think him being a sleazy powerful noble who's been enaged a billion times and broken up with even more chasing u a mean noble girl who hates him ohhh .. ohhhhh

ALSO IM GLAD U LIKE MY RDR POSTING. i am. completely out of my mind about them forreal its actually notfunny anymore JKFDJLKS. but thats alright.

I WOULD LOVE GLITTER PEN. mine would have so many stickers. SO FOND OF U TOO ANON... WE ARE KISSING AND HOLDING HANDS... EID MUBARAK AND MANY BLESSINGS

[73chn1c0l0rr3v3l]

the problem with blorbo bingo is i immediately forget every character ive ever known. idk amy? since im watching series 6 rn. i dont know how you feel about amy. or umm jo grant might be fun too i dont know how you feel about her. or hebe bc i Do know how you feel abt her :P take your pick. or do them all

YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!!

I really love Amy - she was the companion that made me fall in love with the show. I've got really complicated feelings about her later plot (I don't think Moffat is The Worst for the infertility thing, but I think it could have been done a lot better/different), but at her core she was someone who asked the universe for help & got it, & I can't not love her for that. I love how you can see her impact on the Doctor as well - I really love that sort of Doctor/companion crkss pollination.

I really love Jo, but I don't really have a lot to... sag about her? Like, in some ways I think she has the best arc of her Era. She gets her job as a nepotism hire, she goes from being a slightly dotty young woman to someone with genuine principles that she's willing to stand up for. I love how we got to see her character progression, I love how much she clearly cares about the Doctor & the Earth &, well... everyone. I think she could have been served better by the narrative, but she was also written in the 1970s so there's only so much one can get.

HEBE HARRISON!

Love of my life, my darling blorbo. She's my favorite audio companion (well, tied with Valarie Lockwood), & I can't get enough of her. She's so deliciously snarky, she's got amazing chemistry with Mel, she's funny & clever & vulnerable... a lot of my complaints to her story are super spoiler-y, but please know that they're pretty story related versus character related. Really cannot recommend her enough!