#IF I COULD JS CRY IN A CORNER

[en-gelic]

not ready to go socialise with humans tmrw 😁 also!!! i won't be online tmrw so don't miss me too much guys/j 😋

[c0llisiion]

★Pairing: lee know x bang chan + f!reader

★genre: smut

★: npr, drabble , threesome , bf!minho x reader x chan , filth , oral , cum eating , unprotected sex — lmk if i missed any!!

★W/C: 916

A/N: 2 posts back to back?! wrote this fic back in oct of 2023 and was js letting it rot in my drafts 😭 so I finally decided to post it hehe FIRST SKZ FICS AH- enjoy pookies <3 (p.s i was rlly h0rknee for minchan when i wrote this so please have mercy.)

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ MDNI. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable. ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

  "Fuck fuck fuck fuck" were the only words echoing throughout the room, along with the sound of your skin clapping against Chan's abdomen. "Fuck c-chan, right..the-re," you said in between loud moans. Chan was fucking you mercilessly. Ass up, and your face is buried in the pillow, collecting your hot tears.

You could feel a pair of eyes burning into your body as Chan kept fucking you. It was your boyfriend. Minho. He was sitting in the corner, watching every move and analyzing every sound you were making. To begin with, it was his idea to have Chan fuck you. He insisted on it. “Fuck Minho How are you ever able to control yourself when you are with her ... F-fuckkk” Chan said. But Minho ignored his words and just kept staring at you. He was growing jealous. Hearing you moan like this over another man's cock was not sitting right with him. Minho got up from his place and climbed on the bed to face you. Chan got the signal and pulled your arm back, and his pace slowed down. This made you face Minhos crotch. He lifted your chin up using his fingers. You were looking up at him with teary eyes and a fucked-out face. His eyes were filled with lust and rage.. "You liked getting fucked by other men, huh?" He said it tauntingly. You shook your head. "Look, how well you are taking Chan’s cock? It feels good, right?" You shook your head once again. He slapped you, not too harshly. He leaned in closer. "Now don't say that, baby. You know how much it will hurt Channie Hyung?" Chan thrust harshly into you, making your face contort in pleasure. He looked at the older man and gave him a wink. You could see the way he was grinning. "Do you want to have Channie's cock or my cock inside of you now?" ,, "Y-y-you" he shoved his fingers into your mouth. Playing with your tongue. "You are not going to get it, love." Your face turned sad. Minho put his hand behind your head, gathering a handful of your hair. He pulled out his dick. "Let me fuck your face." He said it with a devilish smirk on his face. "Open wide, doll.." Chan leaned in and whispered in your ears. Minho tapped your cheek with his dick, and you opened your mouth willingly. He quickly shoved it in and started fucking your face. Your eyes filling up. Loud, muffled moans left your mouth as Chan started abusing your puffy cunt once again while Minho fucked into your mouth with no care. His grip on your hair tightened as you gagged and spasmed around his length, your throat perfectly molded for his dick. Minhos eyes were closed and his head thrown back; eyebrows furrowed as curses left his mouth. “S-shitt… You are doing so well, baby..” he said while pushing away the stray hairs on your face. Chan, on the other hand, was fucking you into tomorrow. His hands were on your ass cheeks, spreading them as he observed the way you sucked in his cock. "Minho, look at how well she is taking me … “ he praised you. Minho smirked. “Ya hear that slut? You like being someone else’s fuck toy, don't you?” You moaned against his dick. You felt Chans dick twitch inside of you, as well as Minhos, signaling that they were close. “Im going to fuck!” Chan loudly cursed at how you clenched around him. He eventually pulled out, the sudden emptiness making you whine and cry more. He started jerking himself off, trying to reach his final high. Minho did the same; he made you lay on your back as they both kneeled in front of your face. Their hands were picking up pace as they started jerking themselves. curses after curses left their mouths. You laid there as you fondled with their heavy cum filled balls. “G-give it to me.. please.. fuck- i need your cum all over my face…” 

Chan busted over your chest and body. A heavy load of his creamy, clear cum coated your sweaty body. You moaned and coughed, spreading the mixture all over your swollen tits using chans Hand. Chan groaned as he watched you take his fingers and put them in your mouth, sucking and licking his cum-covered digits with a sultry smile. You turned to Minho before using your hands to guide his own down his length. “Cum on my face minho.. need it so bad… i need you.. come on you can do it..” you encourage him, as he seemed to be struggling. “Fuck-“ Minho grunted as he watched suck on his tip while you stared into his eyes. Within a blink of an eye, Minho shot his load onto your face. You let him paint your face with his cum. Your eye getting glued shut by the sticky substance. He took deep breaths, his eyes focused on the way your lips licked his cum off of them. Minho’s thumb scooped the glob of cum that was on your eye before spreading it over your clean lips and pushing his thumb through your lips for you to suck on. He had a shit-eating smirk on his face as he watched you. You turned over to look at Chan, who laid next to you, caressing your bruised hip. You gave him a smile.“Was I a good girl?” You asked both of them.

“The bestest girl.”

A/N: THANKS 4 READINGGGG! ILYSMMMM reblogs and comments are appreciated! Lmk if I should write more skz smut eheh

[chrissv4mp]

౨ৎ hit me hard (and soft) , BILLIE E.

billie masterlist // main masterlist

summary: i don't wanna write a summary sooo this is basically js filthy smut🤷‍♀️

pairing: billie eilish × fem!reader

warnings + topics: smuttttt literally pure filth, restraints, mentions of edging, strap-on usage, degradation, praise, hair pulling, begging, dom!billie, sub!reader, fingering, mommy kink, dacryphilia, overstimulation if u squint, very fluffy aftercare, etc.

authors note: idk man🙁 here's what goes on in my mind everyday!!

word count: 2.4k

"please, please, bils—ah!" a moan tumbled from your lips as you felt her fingers plunge into your sensitive pussy again, lower lip trembling as you let your head fall back against the pillows.

she only smiled sadistically, head tilting to the side as she watched you squirm in the restraints. her fingers curled, and she giggled softly at the way your body jolted. her eyes were dark, pupils dilated in lust.

you let out another moan, this one more high-pitched than the last as billie began to speed up her fingers. the squelching noise of your pussy was the only other sound in your shared bedroom besides soft breathing and breathy moans.

billies free hand went to caress your thigh, a failed attempt to get your leg to stop shaking uncontrollably. she was ecstatic that she was the cause of that, a proud smile on her face as she continued to pump her fingers into you. her thumb came to join, rubbing tight circles along your puffy clit and increasing your pleasure.

she hadn't spoken since she got home, simply kissing you and then harshly throwing you down onto the mattress. you didn't deny her, she always made you see stars when she was angry. and that's how you got here, legs and arms tied to the bed posts and your girlfriend between your legs, torturing you.

"stop moving so much, mama." the first words that came out of her mouth were demands, her grip on your thigh tightening. there would definitely be a bruise shaped like her hand in the morning, but you wouldn't complain.

you were sure the blindfold around your head was soaked in your tears now, having faced so many highs only for them to be taken away. billie was being mean, and that was the one thing you absolutely hated whenever she took her anger out on you.

a cry left your mouth, and you tugged at the restraints on your wrists, the coil in your stomach tightening. more begs came spilling from your red, swollen lips as your pussy clenched around her fingers.

"g'nna cum! mommy, fuck—m'gonna cum on your fingers..!" your back arched as billie added a third finger, thrusting them in at a merciless pace as she just continued to stare at your fucked-out state.

when she took your clit between her lips, you lost it, and another choked cry escaped your throat as you came. billie was quick to lap at your pussy, giving you a few more deep pumps with her fingers before she removed them.

she raised an eyebrow as she began to crawl up your body, placing her fingers right above your lips as hers parted, "open."

and you did, welcoming her fingers into your mouth happily before you wrapped your lips around them. your tongue worked quickly, sliding between her lengthy fingers as a satisfied hum left you.

her free hand snaked up your body, pinching your nipple and giggling at the way your body jolted upwards, back arching towards her touch before she wrapped her cold fingers around your throat.

"you look so pretty, all fucked-out and tired," the girl whispered, pressing a kiss to thr corner of your mouth before she pulled her fingers back, "but i think you can go another round, hm?"

billie only cooed at the way you whined lowly, hands tugging at the restraints once again. then, she reached up to grab the blindfold, sliding it off your head and throwing it somewhere behind her. you were met with the sight of your beautiful girlfriend, staring at you with lust and hunger as she pouted.

she knew you could never resist her when she gave you that look, so all you did was buck your hips up in silent agreement. billie chuckled again, not satisfied with the nonverbal answer you gave her, and she put pressure on your throat.

"use your words, or i'll edge you s'more. you wouldn't want that, would you, pretty girl?" she tilted her head in a daunting manner as she licked her lip, taking it between her teeth as her eyes roamed the upper half of your body, "you wanna cum around my cock, don't you, baby?"

tears stained your cheeks, and the way she was talking to you at moment only made more tears run down. you gave a nod of your head, sobbing quietly as you stuttered, "yes, yes, please. wanna cum 'round your cock, mommy!"

billie smiled, leaning down to press her lips against yours in a quick kiss before she crawled off you again. a rush of excitement and arousal ran through your body, your eyes following the girl as she went into the closet.

when she came back, an indigo colored cock was strapped around her waist, and now she was only wearing her lacy black bra. her tits still spilled from the top, and your eyes were glued to them.

"my eyes are up here, ma," billie chuckled lowly, crawling back onto the edge of the bed and up your body. one hand held her body up, and the other aligned the fake cock with your pussy, biting her lip as she thrusted in slowly.

she gasped quietly at the sight of your pussy swallowing her strap fully, and she looked up at you only to see more tears spilling from your eyes as you threw your head back against the soft pillows.

your mouth hung open as you let out quiet moans, adjusting to the feeling of being stretched out as she thrusted her hips slow but deep. billie only leaned down, hiding her face in the crook of your neck as she whispered degrading things to you.

"such a slut, so fuckin' needy for my cock," a breathy moan fell from her lips, and it went right to your ear. all you wanted was to touch her right now, have your hands dragging down her back or tangled in her black hair.

you wanted to do so much more than just lay there and take what she gave you. but you didn't because you didn't want to get punished, especially when billie was treating you so nicely. this was probably the nicest she's been while fucking you angrily.

you moaned louder when she began to fuck into you faster, the wet kisses she left on your mouth only further fueling your arousal as your eyes rolled back, "fuck, fuck! god, you're so fucking big, baby.."

she stayed quiet, whimpers falling out of her mouth as the base of the strap hit her clit, eyes fluttering shut as she began to nibble on the tender skin of your neck. her pace never slowed, only gradually getting faster as she heard all of your needy noises.

"gonna ruin you, mama—mhh.. m'gonna fuck you so hard." she wasn't asking, she was telling you that she would ruin you. and you knew very well that it was true, that she would leave you unable to walk for as long as a week.

marks would definitely be left on your wrists from how hard you pulled, the pleasure overwhelming but so fucking good. a cry of her name left your throat as she hit your sweet spot, begging her to not stop as she began to thrust deeper.

"right there, hm? that's it?" she hummed in your ear, a proud smirk on her face as she continued to mark up your neck.

you nodded frantically, hands clenching into fists as you bucked your hips, resulting in her strap only sinking deeper into your pussy, "don't stop, please—ah!—mommy, please.."

your pussy clenched around her cock, eyelids fluttering shut from the pleasure as her pace quickened. billie huffed, both hands on either side of your body as she gripped the sheets tightly.

her rhythm was getting sloppy, her own noises increasing in volume as she fully moaned into your ear now. her tone was whiny, needy, and she stuttered as she spoke.

"m'gonna cum, shit—oh my god, fuck!" she whimpered, body almost falling limp against you as she thrusted again, releasing immediately.

she didn't stop, though, almost overstimulating herself as she slammed the fake cock into you, eyes squeezing shut as those three words left your lips. your breath hitched, and then she heard your breathing pick up, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you cried out.

billie theusted into you a few more times before pulling out, leaving a trail of kisses down your body and pressing an opened-mouth kisses against your clit with a smile. she bit her lip at the sight of your teary-eyes, feeling her arousal pool down her thighs.

then, she moved to untie your ankles, and then your wrists before she spoke, "c'mere, mamas. js' one more f'me, 'kay?"

you didn't even hesitate, crawling to the edge of the bed and moving onto your stomach as you let your legs hang off the bed. billie hummed at your obedience, caressing the backs of your thighs affectionately before she parted your legs, quickly thrusting her hips forward and slamming her cock into you.

"bils, oh my god!" your hands immediately went to grab a handful of the sheets, already feeling like your arms would give out and you would just fall forward, "faster, mommy—please, please."

billies hand went to your waist, her grip possessive as she sped up her thrusts, the sound of skin slapping reverberating off the walls along with the sound of your moans. her free hand trailed up your back, her nails scratching you lightly before she grabbed a handful of your hair.

your moans were muffled as your head hung low, and billie pulled your head up, making your back arch more as another loud cry of pleasure left you, "look so pretty like this. so full of my cock, and too dumb too speak. all because of me, hm?"

all she heard from you was inaudible sentences and endless babbles as you nodded your head the best you could on her grip, eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open as she fucked you mercilessly.

you wouldn't last long, and billie knew this, so all she did was try to get you to cum faster. her hips stuttered as you clenched around the fake cock, moaning again as she tugged at your h/c locks again. billie huffed as she leaned over your body, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder as the hand on your waist moved to the bulge in your stomach.

"you feel that, hm? you're takin' my cock so well, mamas. you're so pretty," she whispered, pressing down on the bulge and eliciting a whimper from your kiss-swollen lips.

the way she was touching you, the way she was fucking you, even the way she spoke was enough to make you see stars. you clenched around her again, and when your arms gave out and you fell forward, you came. hard.

billie groaned as she heard your choked noises, eyes fluttering shut as her hips slowed to a stop. as she pulled out, you winced.

"shh, i know. js' relax, mhm?" her tone was soft, reassuring, and you nodded your head weakly as she pulled out slowly.

a few moments later, you heard the fake cock hit the floor, joining the pile of clothes from earlier, and then billie helped you into the bathroom.

her hands were gentle, fingers running across the exposed skin your waist affectionately as she kissed everywhere on your face she possibly could. as you both got to the bathroom, she moved to turn the tap, letting warn water flow into the tub and fill it up.

when it was full, she turned it off, took off all her remaining clothes, and then stepped in. soon after, you stepped in, resting against her chest as you let your head fall back against her shoulder. billie only hummed quietly, kissing your temple as she grabbed the rag to gently scrub your body.

she chuckled, watching as you jolted when she moved the rag down to your thighs, scrubbing lightly as she muttered praises into your ear, "did s'good, mamas, always my good girl."

your breathing evened out, and soon you relaxed against your girlfriend as you kissed her jawline, trailing lower and nibbling at her neck. billie only smiled, her thumbs tracing invisible circles along your waist, "i love you."

a gentle hum sounded from your throat, and you opened your eyes to meet her blue ones, "i love you, too, bils."

the both of you were whispering, and you didn't know why but it was comforting. you felt safe in her hold, like nothing could hurt you if you were with billie, "my pretty girl, all mine."

you giggled quietly at her possessiveness, hands running along her thighs under the water in a comforting manner. she pressed kisses to your forehead, loving the soft moment you two were sharing right now.

about 30 minutes later, you two were under a blanket in the living room, watching some horror documentary and adding your own commentary every now and then.

billie had ordered the both of you takeout, getting it delivered right to your doorstep and eating before coming here to sit on the couch. now you lay on billies chest again, eyes fluttering shut at the way she scratched your scalp.

your own hands were on the outsides of her thighs, resting there comfortably as you traced circles over the fabric of her pyjama pants. her free hand was on your cheek, caressing your skin softly with a smile as she looked down at your peaceful figure.

your eyes kept fluttering shut, only to be forced back open by yourself as you tried to pat attention to the TV screen in front of you.

"you tired, mamas?" billie hummed quietly, grabbing the remote to pause the documentary as you began to sit up and face her. you only nodded, a sleepy smile on your face as you rest your head on her shoulder.

a chuckled erupted from her throat, and she stroked your hair, "not right here. c'mon, it's just a few steps to our bed."

after a few minutes of convincing, she finally got you up and in the bedroom. you lay beside her, head resting in the crook of her neck as you breathed gently, hand wrapped around her waist and pulling her closer in your sleep.

one of hers hands stroked your hair, the other under your shirt and running her fingers along your skin. she smiled at your sleeping face, pressing a kiss to your forehead before closing her eyes and falling asleep in no more than 6 minutes.

@livialifesblog @mxqdii @mseilishmwah @sophlovesmeangirls @devynscomet

[imwetforyourmom]

my first fic posted on tumblr!! hope yall like, and if you do lmk if I should make more or js stick to edits

warnings: fluff ig, swearing and idk

Jealous.

christopher.sturniolo

504,678 likes

christopher.sturniolo 🏀

Y/nn And suddenly I have the desire to be a chris girl

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christoper.sturniolo oops

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matthew.sturniolo What the fuck

User Y/N IS FOUL FOR THATT

User y/n really said "switching sides..."

nicolassturiolo damn thats gotta suck @matthewsturniolo

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christoper.sturniolo my bad bro

User I can hear matt crying in a corner

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nicolassturniolo real

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User damn bro, I was joking but ok

y/n was sitting with nick on the couch, both were scrolling on their phones. that was before matt came into the room, dragging his feet on the cold marble floor. y/n looked up at the sound of footsteps, and saw her boyfriend, whom was clearly bothered.

matt walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, glancing around the fridge. y/n felt a little disappointed that he didn't acknowledge her, didnt even look at her once. she threw her phone to the side and got up from the couch, she walked to matt and wrapped her arms around matts waist from behind. his body tensed at this, and y/n couldnt help but notice.

"what's wrong baby?" she asked, her face nuzzled into his shoulder blade. he shook his head in return and continued looking through the fridge.

y/n wasn't happy with that answer but if her boyfriend didnt want to talk, then she wasnt going to force him. he'll talk when he wants, she thought.

there was no denying matt didnt want to relax into y/ns touch and give her all his love, but he was upset with her and he was planning on showing that he was upset.

he grabbed a pepsi and closed the fridge door, before subtly moving out of y/ns grasp. grabbing gently onto her wrists and removing himself from her warm and comforting embrace.

once he had gotten out of her arms he sighed of relief, of no longer having to fight the urge to hug her and pepper her with kisses. the overwhelming urge was soon to get him but he wasnt going to let it get to him that fast.

y/n put her arms at her sides and looked up at him, slightly confused but also understanding that if he wanted to move she'd have to let go.

matt glanced at her, then at his pepsi. fighting every fiber in his being not to kiss her head and tell her how much he loves her. he shook his head before looking at her one last time, taking in her features. how beautiful she looked, wearing one of his hoodies paired with his sweatpants and her hair down and slightly messy.

he muttered "fuck" under his breath before leaving the kitchen, needing to leave asap to hide the fact he wanted to shower her with all his affection.

y/n stood awkwardly as matt walked away, feeling rejected, but also a little relieved that she was no longer under his gaze as she was getting slightly insecure of how she wasnt dressed up and her hair was messy.

she stared as matt walked away, she thought about what all she could've done wrong. maybe he didnt want to be bothered? or maybe he didnt want to be touched, and she had just touched him.

but it didnt cross her mind that maybe what she commented on chris' instagram post might've hurt his feelings.

y/n followed matt, she felt she needed to get to the bottom of this. what had hurt matts feelings?

she opened matts door quietly, she took a peek and saw that matt was sitting at his desk, headphones on and on his phone. matt wasn't facing her, but rather facing his desk. so honestly, if y/n wanted she could creep up on matt and scare the shit out of him. but she decided against it, speaking of how it'd only make him more upset than he already was.

y/n shut the door behind her and walked to matt, she placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing and massaging them. at an attempt to make herself known and also try not to scare him.

matt jumped slightly, but quickly recognized the hands currently touching his shoulders to be y/ns, as he knew her body more than he knew his own.

he took off his headphones and placed them on the desk, in case y/n wanted to talk. so now she knew he was listening.

"matt, sweetheart. tell me what's wrong. please." she asked, her hands keeping a pattern on his shoulders. rubbing her four fingers into the top of his shoulder and lower while her thumbs dug softly into his shoulder blades.

she knew this action both made him feel good, but also kept him at ease, like she'd want him this whole conversation. at ease.

matt let out a deep breath before leaning his head back into the chair and spoke quietly, "im- I just dont like what you said on chris' instagram post." even if it was something small and stupid that he knew for a fact he could get over easily, he felt a little jealous and insecure.

"I love you sweetheart, I can delete it and- and- ill do anything to make you feel better," she spoke with her tone gentle and calm. understanding that what she said on the post must've been wrong and matt didnt like that.

"im sorry baby." she kissed his cheek, and continued rubbing his shoulders. matt felt better and reassured, knowing his girlfriend didn't actully like like chris.

"thank you, y/n. I forgive you." matt leaned his head to the side and looked into y/ns eyes, seeing that guilt was clearly evident in her facial expressions. y/n looked down at him and smiled, she glanced down at his lips and pressed a small kiss to them, then she pulled away and kissed the tip of his nose.

989 words.

tags for my favorite ppl

@luverboychris @worldlxvlys @hysteria-things @gamermattsgf @inlovewithmattstur @plasticferal

[sweetheartsaku]

(HQ) i'll do the dishes we'll carry the load

𝜗𝜚 HAIKYUU!! VARIOUS: 𝓛ANTANA.

a/n: [fem!reader] i have 3 wips in my drafts but i chose to start a whole new one 😎

— characters : atsumu, iwaizumi, sakusa, osamu

atsumu miya ; dance with you tonight - laufey

ATSUMU MIYA GET BEHIND ME to all the people who say atsumu treats all girls like trash, (LOUD BUZZER NOISE) it is such a common headcannon he's a mommy's boy?? such a common headcannon that the twins grew up with their mother?? hello?? would most definitely treat you beyond well ⁽⁽(੭ꐦ •̀Д•́ )੭*⁾⁾ !!

bites his straw omg. samu HATES it, especially when they’re sharing drinks then he finds his fresh beverages straw on its last thread. does the same with you unintentionally, making it literally impossible to drink from LMAO. its atsumu so i let it pass

has a dimple on his left cheek, matching with his twin brother whose dimple is on the right!!! he loves when you kiss and poke it. whenever he's focused, he bites his cheek, and you can see the little dimple there too.

gets you so many little trinkets and souvenirs from when he goes to away-games, always thinking of you!! sends you pictures of sunsets he sees, gets you seashell necklaces and ones with your initials except you get his and he gets yours ♡ bokuto and hinata also try help him, but the best they could pick up was a pebble the same colour as your eyes.

"you wanna kiss me soooo bad"

hajime iwaizumi ; super rich kids - frank ocean

put his hands on your head or waist when your close or about to hit something.. like you could be getting something from under the table and his hand would protect the spot where you could hit your head on 😖💞 same thing with your waist, always holding it close so you don’t bump into strangers on the road

strong believer of sidewalk rule. will switch your places EVER so gently (IWAIZUMI HAJIME THE MAN YOU ARE). loooooves slithering his hands around your waist and adooooores the pudgy stuff under your shirt. he just finds every inch of you beautiful from the bottom to the top!!! (he js like me frfr u is gorjus bae)

would carry you when your feet/heels hurt. the INSTANT he hears a slight groan of pain he will actually already be down there unbuckling the clip of the heel LMAO. props you up on his back and holds you up with so much pride.. his favourite heels to unbuckle are valentino’s and ysl. got the valentino’s for you on your 3rd year anniversary and the ysl on your 4th. maybe he’s gonna get on one knee while he’s down there too

smells like an insane amount of axe body spray unfortunately.. sorry iwa enthusiasts

kiyoomi sakusa ; coming home - beabadoobee

really loves claw clips. whether it be on you, or on himself and literally just in general. really loves when you wear the pearlier colours, especially teal and lime mixed with yellows etc... he also likes the clips on himself when he's cleaning

haircare routine goes HARD!! always having 2 lathers of shampoo, 1 layer of conditioner then another layer of leave-in conditioner, protection products and after allat he has curl serum (he does it with a scalp massager too btw)

keeping the kita shinsuke + sakusa kiyoomi crocheting agendas up rn. as a kid his family was always prioritised with work at the hospital so he'd always just sit in the corner of the waiting room with his thoughts, till one day this elderly lady who always had weekly checkups would teach him how to crochet. he made things for his family, but they never accepted/used it, so he just stopped after elementary school. but ever since he met you, he suddenly felt his hands tug towards the hooks a little harder

favourite scents are lime and herbs, but not together. likes lemon and lime sprays, window cleaner and wipes. secondly, loves herbs because it reminds him of the grandma that taught him to crochet 🥹(screaming, crying, wailing, throwing up, bashing head on wall.)

would peel your pomegranates (he hates messes)

osamu miya ; a piece of you - nathaniel constantin

found you watching those wax slime/asmr/clay cracking/mini foods/recipes on tiktok/mukbangs ONCE, and ever since then he's been a tad more dedicated to making special sweet treats for you after closing at onigiri miya ♡

this is like on the verge of ick and cute, but he likes to boop your nose with flour or your hand while you're baking. ya'll could be kneading impossibly close, and he'll sprinkle a bit of flour on you or randomly boop your nose 😭

always carries hair ties for you. in the kitchen he can’t have them on, but anywhere else he has one on him. since he basically lives in the kitchen, he’d prefer you to just stay there with him instead LMAO. the “anywhere else” in question is wherever you desire... but adores trying new cuisines with you. the hair tie helps tie your hair back while you eat btw <3

his hands smell like dishwashing liquid, even after the endless lathers of strong candy apple hand-soap, the scent of the liquid still lingers on his hand! you can smell it when you hold it on movie nights, or kiss it goodnight hehe

has a dimple on his right cheek, except his dimple is way deeper than atsumu's. you can see it when he chews

would peel your oranges

[spideyriki]

Oiiiii I’ve been following you for a while and I finally got the guts to send a request 0_0

If you’re okay with it could you please write about sub!jake as your roommate and him being a virgin but also the biggest pervert and how he secretly used your underwear to get off and kind of waxing you until one day you catch him in the act and take his virginity?

If you don’t like it you can change it to your liking or just ignore it

Ty in advance <3

if you want to

pairing: jake x reader

content: virgin!jake, soft sex, dacryphilia, panty stealing, nicknames, just a littleeee 🤏🏻 bit of degradation but not really reader js calls jake something sorta mean (+ lmk if i missed anything)

w. count: 2k+

a. note: hi anon n everyone!! sorry for disappearing for over a month but thank u so much for requesting n im so so sorry cause this is crazy overdue. hope you don't mind but i changed the roommate part and the watching reader part, i'm sorry i'm not into those things :(( n this was actually meant to be hard dom reader but i let the gentle demons win. nyways sorry for rambling here n feedback is appreciated, love u guys my lovely readers <3

you and your boyfriend, jake, have been living together for awhile now. everything was amazing and you were really pleased with the way the both of you managed to split chores without an issue.

jake was incharge of doing the laundry and recently, you've noticed some of your lace panties have gone missing. you were going to ask jake about it but it often times just slipped from your mind.

until, one night, you came home from work. calling out to him as you usually would when you arrived home, puzzled when jake hadn't immediately run up to you like he usually would.

making your way to your shared bedroom, you noticed the door was left slightly ajar, entering the room only to be greeted with an amazing sight.

the both of you haven't gone all the way yet but you have been intimate together before but the sight you witnessed was just breathtaking.

before you, jake was on all fours as his fist held your missing panties tightly around his flushed cock, moving at an amazing pace, his head lolled back as he chased his orgasm. quietly, you made his way behind him, his loud pants masking the sound of your footsteps.

"i've been looking for those."

jake jumped when he heard your voice, craning his head around quickly as his big eyes stared up at you, halting his ministrations.

immediately, jake grabbed the duvet in an attempt to cover bare body, stammering out rushed apologies. your cold hand rested on jake's chest to stop him from covering himself.

"that's not very nice, is it, jakey? stealing my panties.", you coo.

"i-i'm really sorry, y/n.", jake rushed out, tears springing up out of the corners of his eyes.

your gentle hand travelled up to his eyes and wiped the tears off his red blotchy face, your gaze heavy as you stared him down.

"what should i do with you, puppy? should i tie you up and leave a vibrator on your cute little cock? bend you over and spank you? hmm? what do you think you deserve, jake?"

his hard cock leaking another dribble of precum at your words. jake's fisted your panties tighter, catching his bottom lip between his teeth out of nervousness.

your hand tapped his flushed cheek gently at his silence.

"answer me.", you barked out.

a whimper left jake's mouth as another set of tears began to fall from his pretty eyes at your mean tone. slowly, jake shook his head in answer.

"no? i shouldn't punish you even after you've acted like some stupid bitch in heat?"

jake surpressed a cry, as he shook his head again in agreement, holding back more tears.

"then? should i just let you fuck me instead, puppy?"

at that, jake nods vigorously. unsatisfied with his silence, you quirk up a condescending brow at him. jake blinked up at you, flushing further when he realises what you're asking for.

"y-yes please, please let me fuck you, y/n.", jake squeaked out.

your gentle fingers caressed his cheek after deeming his response satisfactory, turning around facing your back to jake.

"undress me."

jake's shaky hands made his way to the zipper of your dress, gingerly pulling it down and watching as your bare skin slowly gets exposed to him. you shrug of the sleeves of your dress, before peeling it off your body.

you turn back to face jake, who was sitting awkwardly on your shared bed, his glossy eyes staring up at you as he waited for you to instruct him. reaching out, you take hold of his wrist and guided it to run over your body.

"don't be shy, sweet boy. it's just me.", you said in a sultry tone, reeling in the way his hands trace over your sensitive skin, goosebumps arising over the expanse of your torse as your nipples began to harden.

you pull down your panties as jake's hands fumbled around with your bra clasp, struggling to undo the garment. a giggle leaves your lips as his eyebrows furrow in concentration before you reach behind and unclasp it yourself.

jake's mouth fell agape, his eyes stayed trained on the dips and curves of your beautiful figure as you stood bare before him, a smile etched across your face at jake's adorable expression before his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

the feeling of the covers being pulled off his body snapped him out of his trance, your eyes trailed down to look at how jake's poor little cock was so so hard and had leaked all over his abdomen.

your legs straddled jake's lap, the way your damp core pressed up against him nearly made jake go light headed. his hands rested on your hips as he leaned up to kiss you, shivering at the feeling of your boobs pressing up against his chest.

the kiss you both shared was wet and messy, the urgency evident as jake grew needier by the second. your tongues danced together as your hands circled around his shoulders and his rested awkwardly on your hips.

as you slowly pulled away, a string of saliva breaking apart from the distance between your lips. his eyes fluttered open, only for them to gravitate towards your breasts.

you leaned into his ear and whispered, "taste them, sweet boy."

his mouth was around your hardened nipple, hesitant at first before he was eagerly sucking the bud. your fingers made it's way to his soft hair. you let out a moan as his teeth nibbled around your tit, tugging at his hair which elected a whimper from jake.

as the feeling of your core grew frustratingly wet, you decided to properly lay on the bed, guiding jake to loom above you.

"may i touch you down here, jakey?"

"yes, please.", jake shyly answered you.

as the feeling of your soft fingertips came into contact with his achingly sensitive cock, jake let out a loud moan as his head feel back, tears brimming his eyes.

"s-so good.", jake moaned out.

your fingers moved agonisingly slow as your thumb smeared precum all over his slit, only for more to spurt out, a small mewl sounded from jake as your hands moved downwards to fondle with his balls.

deeming jake ready, you laid back further and spread open your legs. your wet folds glistening from the light of the room as your entrance fluttered around nothing, urging jake to touch your core.

"go on, jakey. fuck me like you wanted to, sweet boy.", you urged him.

jake's hands held your thighs as he aligned his cock to your entrance, his face flushing a deep red as his lip was caught between his lips. jake took deep breaths from his nose. though, you quickly held his wrist as you took notice of his eyes watering.

unlike earlier, jake genuinely looked a little worried, so, you quickly stopped him before sitting up to look at him properly.

"jake, what's wrong, sweetheart? we don't have to do anything if you don't want to.", you said softly as you caressed his back soothingly.

jake's big eyes looked up at you, holding back tears.

"i've never... haven't..", jake's sentence trailed off.

your brows furrowed in confusion as you processed what jake was saying, eyes blinking in realisation.

"...jake, are you a virgin?", you questioned him.

at your words, jake's lips wobbled as he hesitantly nodded and he looked seconds away from tears, quickly, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer to you.

"it's okay, jakey. don't worry, we don't have to do anything."

"n-no!", jake rushingly cut your words. "i w-want to do this... but i just don't know how to.", jake continued, timidly looking down at his hands.

you gently took hold of his face to look into his beautiful eyes, giving him a soft smile. leaning down, you pressed a small kiss on his lips. slowly, you flipped him over to lay on his back as your lips slotted between his once again. unlike the kiss you both shared earlier, it wasn't rushed or urgent but it was passionate and full.

"can i ride you, jakey?"

jake nodded eagerly at you, however, at his lack of words, you pulled away.

"words please, sweet boy.", you whispered to him.

"y-yes please fuck me.", jake breathed out.

placing one last kiss on his lips for good measure, you took hold of his full member and aligned it with your soaking entrance, you looked up into jake's eyes as you finally sunk down on him.

you let out a deep breath at the feeling of his thick cock filling up your tight pussy, his prominent veins rubbing against your insides so deliciously as your hips stilled to make sure jake was ready for you.

at the feeling of your pussy enveloping him, jake had to use every power in him to not cum into you right then and there. jake's head immediately rolled back into the soft pillows and his eyes clamped shut, his hands pawing at your hips as if to ground himself. slowly his eyes fluttered open to look at you.

the way you smiled down at him was enough to make him go crazy.

at the sight of jake blushing, your fingers reached down to run through his hair. "you okay there?", you asked teasingly, tilting your head slightly. jake mewled at the feeling of your hands running through his locks as he nodded.

a few moments passed before you deemed jake ready, slowly you rolled your hips foward to see how he would react.

jake let out a hearty moan at the sensation. his eyes shutting closed once again as he got lost in the feeling. taking that as a good sign, you began to thrust down onto his length.

your hips carried you up to bounce on his dick, your boobs jumping with your thrust. your warm walls stretching as his cock burried itself deeper inside you, beginning to kiss at your cervix. glancing down, you take notice of how jake's large cock was bulging against your lower abdomen with each thrust.

"look at how big you are, jakey.", you cooed out.

jake made the mistake of looking down to your lower abdomen where he could see the way his cock throbbed inside of you as you grinded into him, his mind reeling at the way your cunt was so tight around him.

the familiar feeling of his tightening core was getting harder to hold back as he looked down a little more, only to be greeted with the sight of his dick disappearing into your tight wet hole.

pretty tears continued to cascade down his cheeks, "please so close!", jake all but screamed out to you.

your fingers took hold of his hands that were holding onto your working hips, interlocking them together as you leaned down to capture his lips.

"let go for me, jake.", you whispered against his lips.

that's all it took for jake to cry out as his hips snapped up into you, squeezing his eyes shut as his cock released his warm cum deep inside you. praises fell from your lips as he emptied himself into your cunt.

as he came down from his high, a whine escaped him as you continued to ride him, increasing your pace as you chased your own orgasm. you cooed at him softly, "just a little more, sweet boy.", you let go of one of jake's hand to massage at your clit.

finally, the coil in your stomach snapped, squirting your juices all over his dick. at the combined feeling of your cunt tightening around him and the way your cum coated his dick, jake couldn't help the moan that left him as he released into you again.

your movements slowed down before it finally came to a halt, as you leaned down to capture jake's lips in yours, lifting yourself off his softening cock, your pussy dripping cum onto the bedsheets.

immediately praises fell from your lips when you parted from the kiss as you rested your head on his chest.

"thank you for letting me be your first, my love."

©spideyriki 🍉

[awkward-walking-potato]

Logan x gn!reader that can’t feel emotional pain, or js can’t cry in general? Even in the darkest, or sad times, they just can’t cry? And it makes them feel indifferent because others in their past accused the reader of being selfish and uncaring when it’s the opposite. They can express sadness in their face, like grief, but any other kinds of things relating to emotional sadness, and even tears are something they can’t express.

The Tears That Never Fall

Logan had seen grief in many forms over the years. He'd seen people sob uncontrollably, collapse to the floor, and scream at the heavens. He’d witnessed the silent type too, the ones who shut down completely, as if their hearts were too heavy to bear the weight of their pain. But you? You were different.

Sitting beside him on the porch, staring out at the horizon, there was no mistaking the sadness etched into your features. Your face carried the telltale signs of sorrow—your eyes distant, your lips pressed into a thin line. Yet, there were no tears. There never were.

"You don’t gotta hold it in," Logan said quietly, his voice unusually gentle. He was never great with comforting words, but he was trying. He’d seen that look on your face enough times to know something was weighing on you.

You turned to look at him, a small, tired smile pulling at the corners of your mouth. "I’m not holding anything in."

Logan frowned, clearly not understanding. He didn’t doubt that you were hurting—he could see it plain as day—but your lack of tears, of any kind of outward breakdown, made him uneasy. You had a way of carrying your grief silently, and it was something he hadn’t quite figured out yet.

"You’ve been like this a while now," he said, more softly. "Whatever it is, you can talk about it, y’know?"

You let out a long, slow breath, your gaze returning to the view in front of you. "I know," you said. "But it’s not that simple, Logan. I… I can’t cry. I haven’t been able to for as long as I can remember."

Logan’s brows furrowed, his confusion deepening. "You mean, like you physically can’t?"

You nodded slowly. "Yeah. No matter how sad I get, no matter how much I feel it inside… the tears just don’t come. It’s always been like that." You hesitated, biting your lip before adding, "People used to think I didn’t care. Like I was selfish or cold because I wasn’t crying at funerals or when things went bad."

Logan was silent for a moment, processing what you’d said. He hadn’t known that about you. Sure, he’d noticed you never cried—hell, you never even came close, even when things had gotten rough at the mansion. But hearing that it was something you physically couldn’t do? That was new.

"That why you don’t talk about it much?" Logan asked. "’Cause people don’t get it?"

You nodded again, a flicker of something like relief crossing your face. "Yeah. It makes me feel… indifferent sometimes. Like I’m broken or something. People would tell me that I should cry, that it would help, but I couldn’t. It’s not that I don’t feel things—I feel them deeply. I just can’t express it the way they expect."

Logan let out a low sigh, his gaze softening as he looked at you. "You ain’t broken," he said firmly. "People grieve in different ways. Just ‘cause you don’t cry doesn’t mean you don’t feel things. I know you do."

You glanced at him, surprised by the certainty in his voice. Logan was never one for long, heartfelt speeches, but when he did say something, it always carried weight. And right now, those words felt like a lifeline.

"It’s just hard," you admitted, your voice quieter now. "When everyone else around me is crying, I feel like I’m on the outside looking in. Like I’m missing something… human, you know?"

Logan’s hand found yours, his grip strong and steady. "You ain’t missin’ nothin’. You feel things just as much as anyone else, maybe more. Don’t let anyone tell you different."

For a moment, you stared at him, your heart warming at the simple but profound reassurance. Logan had a way of cutting through all the noise, getting straight to the point without any of the unnecessary fluff. And right now, he was reminding you that your inability to cry didn’t make you any less human, or any less worthy of being understood.

You gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand. "Thanks, Logan. You… you’re one of the few people who hasn’t judged me for it."

Logan chuckled softly, giving a small shake of his head. "I ain’t one to judge, darlin’. I’ve been through enough to know that grief don’t look the same for everyone."

He pulled you closer, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as you leaned into him, letting the comfort of his presence settle around you. It wasn’t often that Logan was this openly caring, but with you, it felt natural. You didn’t need to cry, or break down, or do anything other than what you were doing now—sitting quietly beside him, your sadness understood without needing to be spelled out.

And for once, you didn’t feel like you had to hide or explain yourself. Logan got it. He always did.

[goldfades]

manager literally having to handle every single thing and js bein emotionally exhausted, one day she’s just completely overstimulated from everything and walks out to let herself cry

i love angst sorry🤘

𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 ─ UCONN WBB MANAGER

౨ৎ ─ summary | after a shitty week, manager breaks down over a stupid test score and her teammate helps her through it.

─ word count | 919

─ warnings | NIKA AND MANAGER BONDING TIME YIPEE! angsty af, hurt to comfort, manager putting too much pressure on herself, midterms (BLEHHH), pretty sure nothin else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal @uraesthete @hello-nah817 @wanderlusturous and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

YOUR ENTIRE WEEK had been shit, to put it simply.

Scratch that, your entire month had been pretty shitty. Your midterms had gone terrible, your headaches have been becoming way more painful and more frequent and on top of all of that, you bled through your pants. Twice.

With play-off season arriving in about couple weeks, practices had been running later and later. You spent the entire practice usually on the phone, trying to figure out routes to away games, trying to coordinate transportation for the team, and dealing with the last-minute changes and complications that seemed to plague every plan you made.

As the playoff season even nearer, the pressure mounted to new heights. Every decision felt like it carried the weight of the world, and the fear of letting down your team gnawed at your insides.

Geno had told you that you could leave early if you absolutely needed to, but you hated feeling useless. You wanted to be able to do your job without letting your own personal issues get in the way but right now, it felt like you were way in over your head. Despite Geno's offer to leave early, the guilt gnawed at you, whispering that you were failing in your duties as a manager.

As today's practice wore on, your headache intensified, pulsing behind your eyes with an intensity that threatened to consume you. You clenched your jaw against the pain, willing yourself to push through, but with each passing moment, it felt like the weight on your shoulders grew heavier.

Your phone buzzed against your thigh and you picked it up, reading the notification. Your heart had dropped to your stomach as you read the email ─ you had failed your Geo midterm.

You threw your phone against the hardwood floors, feeling your eyesight become blurry. That was cherry on top, that was the final straw. Tears stung at the corners of your eyes as you struggled to regain control of your emotions. You got up from the bench, picking up your phone as you sniffled.

"Whoa, Y/N? Are you good?" You turned to meet Nika's eyes as yours widened in shock. You immediately wiped your tears as you averted your gaze.

Nika was thankfully the only person on the court right now, everyone else was in the locker-room getting ready for practice. Nika finished up early, like she usually did.

You sniffled again. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You're not, tell me what's bothering you. Who was it? Was it Paige or Geno, because I swear-"

"No, no." You sighed loudly as Nika's expression softened. "Just allergies. I need to go get something from my dorm, I won't be long."

Nika scoffed as she watched you walk away, her eyes narrowing with concern despite your attempt to brush off the situation.

"Allergies, my ass," she muttered under her breath, though she knew better than to push you further when you were clearly not ready to talk.

You went to your dorm and cried your eyes out, that was the only thing you felt like you could do. You almost debated whether or not you should go back to practice until you remembered that you left all your stuff there.

As you got up to the door, you heard a knock on your door. Your furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you opened the door, revealing Nika. She held your bag in one hand and hers in the other, a warm smile on her lips.

You opened the door wider so that she could come in. Without a word, she set down both her bag and yours as you closed the door behind her.

"Practice ended early so you didn't miss anything," Nika spoke as she gave you a smile. She sat down on your bed as she gestured for you to come and sit.

"Thanks for bringing my bag," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggled to find the right words to express the depth of your gratitude.

Nika waved off your thanks with a casual shrug, her gaze reassuring. "No problem. I figured you could use a break from everything."

Then, with a small sigh, Nika reached out and took your hand in hers, her touch a comforting. "One test doesn't define your entire career, Y/N. I promise you, it will not matter after you graduate. It probably won't even matter in a month, or maybe even a week."

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Nika had completely read you like a damn book. "How did you know?"

Nika just scoffed, "You think we don't listen when you ramble on about your tests and shit? We do, and trust me we know you better than you think."

A soft chuckle escaped your lips at her blunt honesty, the tension that had coiled tight in your chest slowly starting to unravel. It was true ─ Nika and the rest of the team had always been there to listen, even when you thought no one was paying attention.

"Look, Y/N." Nika kept her gaze on you, her expression serious. "We love you and we need you, but don't ever put us over your mental health. We need you all in one piece if you're gonna take care of us, right?"

"So, for us. Take the weekend off and come back on Monday, alright?" Before you could protest, Nika sent you a stern look and you sighed loudly. Nika's expression dissipated into a warmer one as she smiled, "That's our girl."

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[umemiyan]

spicy quote prompting you!!!!! i chose a mean one 😈 make it as dark as you’d like <3

i’ll give you something to cry about

( spicy quote prompts ) — kae…… you said make it dark, so that’s exactly what i did. i would apologize, but… i warned y’all i wasn’t normal!!!! also this totally had sukuna written all over it i’m js

𝗥𝗬𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗡 𝗦𝗨𝗞𝗨𝗡𝗔 𝗫 𝗚𝗡!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥. ⌇ 18+ only, mdni / non-con / coercion elements / mentions of physical fighting + blood / rough handling / oral sex (reader giving) / yuuji is sukuna’s vessel / i think that’s it (i tried to cover all bases but pls lmk if i missed something)

“What’s the matter, pretty little sorcerer? Not as tough as you thought?”

Sukuna’s hand harshly grips your jaw and forces you to look up at him through tear-coated lashes. He’s brought you to your knees after a short-lived tussle, crimson blood trickling down the side of your face and from the corner of your mouth, chest heaving with furious breaths. You scowl at him even through your tears.

The King of Curses growls and widens his grin, the look on his face far more sadistic than you think Yuuji’s could ever be. You’re exhausted and he knows it, your body practically limp and no longer struggling beneath his unwelcome touch.

“I’ll give you something to really cry about,” he threatens, voice deepening to something that makes your gut twist with even more fear.

Sukuna reaches down to start undoing Yuuji’s jeans, and suddenly your heart feels as though it might burst in the cavity of your chest. You’re too weak to move—too afraid to move, and even if you could, you surely wouldn’t manage to get very far. All you can do is wait for Sukuna to pull his hardening cock out and stroke it in front of your face, your fear like an aphrodisiac to him.

The hand on your jaw puts a thumb into your mouth and forces it open. “Open wide, little sorcerer,” he commands maliciously but with amusement in his voice. He taps the drooling tip of his cock against your bottom lip and watches as the tears now fall freely from your eyes. It makes him throb in his hand.

“And remember—” he adds, sliding his entire length down your throat without warning. You gag and cough around him as he holds you there, blood and saliva mixing to lubricate every fat, intrusive inch of him. “—if you even think about using your teeth, I’ll see to it that your pathetic little friend loses his heart for good this time.”

[dovveri]

could you love me while i hate myself?

synopsis: y/n, nayeon, momo, and sana are in a polyamorous relationship. momo walks in on y/n self-harming for the first time in 7 months. they all try and talk and work through this together.

warnings: we got depression, suicidal ideation, self-harm (cutting), blood, sexual references, cursing - also this is poly!namosa if ur not into that but i love getting comfort from everyone i love so

w/c: 6.9k

a/n: sooo i wrote this in a day bcs im utilising my #depression as inspiration and lwk we love writing as a coping mechanism - i’m so fine tho i just need my meds to start working again LMAO and they will vvvv soon trust - but in the meantime i can pump out the sad stuff hehe! lwk forgot abt boo and dobby until like halfway thru writing this IM SO SORRY #fakefan and i wasn't bothered to write them back in so they js don't exist here oops!

⸸

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. the thoughts were coming. you wake up hazily, dream forgotten, arms wrapped around nayeon, legs entangled with the three people you loved most in the world. you don't deserve them. shut up!

you shut your eyes, trying to will away the thoughts. they were always there, always in the back of your head, always nagging, telling you that you didn't deserve to live, that you were a worthless piece of flesh born only to cause others suffering, or born with no purpose at all. there's no point to it all. just die. they'd be better off without you. they'd be happier without you.

you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes. it was so loud. you needed them to be quiet. to return to the depths of your mind. you curl in closer to nayeon, trying to breathe in the scent of her to distract you, feeling sana's breath on your hand, listening to momo's soft snores, they were the only thing grounding you. they pity you. that's why they've stuck around for so long. they know if they left you you'd break. they don't love you. it's pity. they'd be happier together. just the three of them. they didn't need you. you needed them. you were a burden to them. you need to leave so they can be happy. you want the best for them don't you? SHUT UP.

you couldn't take it anymore, you slowly unwrap yourself from your girlfriends. slipping your arms from around nayeon's waist and pulling your legs away from the mess of limbs. you look back at them, sleeping peacefully, watch their chests rise up and down with each breath, it's bittersweet. you had so much love for them. you turn around again and slip out the door, closing it softly behind you.

you pad softly towards the bathroom, entering it quietly and sighing, looking at yourself in the mirror. dark circles under red eyes, messy hair, disgusting. look at you. how could anyone love you? the thoughts were louder in the bathroom. almost echoing off crisp white walls. your grip on the sink tightens, you tear your gaze away from the mirror, letting your tears fall into the sink silently. why did i have be born like this? born like this? honey you're not different. everyone else is able to cope fine with trauma, with all the shit that happens in the world. you're just weak. weak, crying little bitch who can't deal with a couple sad emotions. don't think you're special. you're not. why can't i feel normal? you're not normal. you never will be. you'll always be that weird kid on the playground that no one wants to play with. grow up and get used to it already. why won't you leave me alone? i can't leave you alone. i am you. you are me. we're stuck together.

your head's splitting, you don't even realise you're crouched in on yourself now. hands gripping your head, nails digging into your scalp, anything to try and stop thinking. you wish you could just go back to sleep. sleep was easy. you didn't have to think when you were asleep.

that's right. sleep. sleep forever. run away from your problems. that's all you'll ever be good at right? running away. you ran away from your parents when they found out you were dating not one, not two, but three girls! whore! you left your brother and sister with them. they probably got the brunt of their anger. or maybe not. maybe they hate you too for being a fucking disappointment. it doesn't matter. they don't care about you. you left them. now leave your girlfriends. it'll be easier. leave. leave. run. do it.

your lip is trapped between your teeth. you're biting down so hard it draws blood. you're rocking yourself on the floor of the bathroom. pathetic. all you do is cry. grow up already. you can't take it. it was too much. you needed- needed-

you're reaching for the loose tile you know is second from the towel rack, opening it and finding your stash of emergency goods. you had meant to throw it away you just kept avoiding it and now... well you needed it now.

you take out a scalpel, go into the old routine of cleaning it down with an alcohol wipe, the motions that are familiar to you helping you drown out the thoughts already. they're still there though. they were always there. you'd be lonely without us wouldn't you? you actually enjoy being mentally ill don't you? take some sort of sick pleasure in it? is it comforting? it's easy to fall back into old habits isn't it?

once it's clean, you can see clearly again. you remove your pants, spreading your legs and look down at the scars that decorate the insides of your thighs. you take a breath, clearing your head as best you can, and bring the tip of the scalpel to start a new line.

the immediate relief when the blade enters your skin and you watch the scarlet liquid pour out of you is incredible. you're like an addict, drinking in the pain and using it to clear your mind. suddenly, the only sound you hear is the quiet of the bathroom and your own shallow breathing. you've never felt more at peace.

but it's only temporary. like everything is only temporary. seriously? this again? is this the best you can do to try and get rid of me? we talked about this you idiot. you're never getting rid of me. because we're the same. you just made yourself even uglier. congrats. good luck getting your girlfriends to ever touch you again after they see those.

fucking hell. you can't help it when your hands move to the start again, just under the new line you've created. you're about to push in again when you hear a gasp.

you look up in alarm, bloody scalpel in your hand, fresh cut on your thigh.

"m-momo."

"y/n- what-"

"it's not what it looks like i swear- fuck- oh my god- mo- please-" you're scrambling, trying to pull up your pants and cover yourself, dropping the scalpel onto the floor with a clang.

she's on you in seconds.

"no no sweetie it's okay i'm not- it's okay it's okay-" she's pulling you into a hug, and you start sobbing.

you're burrowing your head into her neck, sniffling and crying, she wasn't meant to find out. they were never meant to find out. now you've done it. good luck keeping them now. no way they're going to stay with you after this. better breathe her in while you can because she won't be yours in the morning.

you're squeezing her tight, crying and blabbering into her and she lets you. hushing and brushing through your hair, pressing light kisses along your forehead.

when she starts to pull away you panic, shaking your head against her, terrified she's leaving you and this is it.

"no sweetie i'm not going anywhere. i promise. we just gotta clean you up okay?"

she pulls away from you gently, opening the cabinets next to the sink to grab the first aid kit and comes down to sit next to you.

your sobs have ceded but you can't bear to look at her, staring down at the ugly scars on your legs.

"can i?" momo makes a gesture towards your legs and you shrug, moving closer to her so she can work.

she's quiet when she cleans the wound, focused.

you idiot you stupid fucking idiot. she hates you she thinks you're so gross and-

"do the others know?"

you don't trust your voice to speak so you shake your head.

"is this why you never let us touch you?"

you blush bright red, gripping the bottom of your shirt.

"you know we wouldn't have judged right?"

the tears are coming back, you feel them building up in your neck again, clogging it up, choking you.

"i'm sorry if we made you feel like we would have." momo's voice breaks then, and you look up. momo wasn't one to cry. sana tended to be the more emotional one, nayeon and momo cried too, just less often and definitely more private, momo just took a little longer to come to conclusions sometimes.

"y-you didn't." your voice is croaky when you speak up.

she sniffles a little, finishing cleaning and grabbing the bandages.

"a-are you mad?"

she sighs. "not mad. just... confused."

"i-i- i'm sorry. i'm sorry i didn't tell you guys i didn't- i thought you would think- i thought you might leave or think i'm too much or i don't know i-"

she finishes wrapping the bandage around your thighs, looking up at you then, her eyes shiny. "i could never leave you y/n. i love you. all of you. you, nayeon, and sana are my family."

you're crying again now, hands coming up to wipe at your tears. she gently helps you put your pants back on then pulls you into another hug, breathing shakily as she lets herself cry as well.

you cling onto her shirt, the confirmation that she was still here and she still loved you grounded you.

you both sit on the bathroom floor there, tightly wound around each other. you memorise the way her breathing comes in and out, focusing on the little hiccups, every single movement. it was quiet.

she pulls away from you, hands coming up to cup your cheeks, thumbs swiping along them. "do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head.

"do you want to come back to bed then?"

you think a little, "i might sleep in the guest room tonight. i don't really... it's not that i don't want to sleep with you guys, i just-"

"is it okay if i join you in the guest room then?"

you look surprised, "why?"

"it's okay if you don't want me to. i just want to be with you if that's okay. to make sure you're safe for one, but also just because..." she sniffs, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear gently, "i love you and i want to make sure you sleep well."

the tears well up again. "of course. it's not you i just- i don't want sana and nayeon to find out like this."

momo nods, pressing a gentle kiss onto your nose, "i understand. do you want anything before bed? water? a snack?"

you smile tiredly against her, still in a sort of disbelief she was still here. "i'm okay. let's go to bed."

momo nods again, standing up and pulling you with her, but she stops again suddenly, looking down, "does it hurt?"

you wince, "not really. i mean the point is kinda for it to hurt." your eyes widen when momo frowns, "but it doesn't! not anymore i mean. i kinda got used to it." her frown deepens, "i mean no not like that! like- well yes- but-"

"it's okay y/n. i want to know these things. if you're okay with sharing them." she's sincere when she looks at you, and then she's pulling you along towards the guest room. your heart drops a little when you pass by the master bedroom, thinking of nayeon and sana sleeping peacefully inside, wrapped around each other blissfully unaware, but momo squeezes your hand and you look back towards her, following her into the guest room.

she turns on the lamp light and starts removing all the extra pillows and everything that were only really there for decoration. once she's done, she starts ushering you into bed and you laugh a little at her earnestness, "you don't have to treat me any different momo. i'm still the same person."

she frowns, climbing into bed after you, "i just found out about a massive part of your life that you've been hiding from us. you're not the same person to me. not when i've only known half of you."

you still at that, unable to look her in the eye as she fumbles around with the blanket, covering both of you and then sliding an arm over your side.

"i'm sorry." you whisper once she's turned off the light and snuggled in close to you.

she takes a breath, "you don’t have to be sorry. i'm here now. i'm sorry it took me so long. but i'm here now. and i'm not leaving."

"even if i'm not the same person to you anymore?"

she finds your eyes in the darkness, "y/n i didn't mean it like that. i fell in love with half of you. i just found out there's another half that i can also love now. you're the same person, you just have more to you than we knew. and i want to know more about that so i can be a better girlfriend for you."

"you already are a great girlfriend."

she sighs, a hand trailing down your back, drawing random shapes, you curl in closer to her.

"i wanted to throw it all away. i wanted to tell you all. i just-"

she hums, letting you think out your words, continuing to trace patterns into your back, eyes locked on yours.

"it was hard. and i didn't think i'd need to say anything because i was doing good. i hadn't done it in so long. i don't know why today i just- i lost control again."

"y'know nayeon would say just because you haven't done it in so long doesn't mean you were better. it just means you stopped thinking about it but that didn't get rid of the problem. which is why eventually the problem came back."

you smile at her, poking her cheek, "you've been hanging out too much with nayeon."

momo whines, "we're girlfriends! of course i hang out with her!"

"you're right though. i'm sorry. i stopped cutting when we all started dating. i think i got swept up in all the excitement and the love but once the novelty wore off and i grew more comfortable with being in a relationship with all of you, some of the bad thoughts started to come back."

"what sort of bad thoughts?"

"...like that i'm not good enough for you- or that the three of you would be happier without me, or that i don't want to... that i didn’t deserve to live or that it’d be better if i wasn’t- y’know… alive-"

you can see the shine in momo's eyes and feel your own start to well up again while you talk. she lets you speak though, just lays there, stroking your back softly while listening to you.

when you're finished its quiet save for the occasional sniffle from either of you.

"do you still think that? that you're not good enough for us?"

you hum contemplating whether to be honest or to try not to hurt her, you decide you’ve hurt her enough and it was time to be honest, she was still here after all, she wasn’t going to leave you, "...yeah."

she's pressing her lips gently against yours, barely there, almost as if she's asking permission, and you press against her softly back to say yes. you can taste the salt of her tears in the kiss, its short, reassuring. you break away with a tender smile.

"i can't speak for the others. but i don't think we could work if we weren't the four of us. you know that sana and i tried to date when we were younger right? and it didn't work out? because we always felt like there was something missing. but once we all got together, it feels right to love each other like this. i think it'd be the same if you left. i think it'd feel like something was missing and i wouldn't be able to stay either. i'm not saying that to pressure you into staying like a 'if you leave i leave' kinda thing. i'm just saying that you are needed in this relationship and i don't think we would be happier without you, i don't even think we'd work without you, without any one of us."

god you didn't deserve her. you loved her so much.

"and the other stuff... we don't have to talk about that now but... if you're open to it in the future, i want to help you find some outside help if that's okay? you don't have to answer me now, just think about it, because i want to help, but i don't think we can do this alone."

you nod, lips quivering while she smiles at you, noses touching.

"thank you momo."

"of course sweetie. i love you."

"i love you too. so much."

she pecks you again, then places your hand over her chest, and you can feel the calm thumps of her heart.

she closes her eyes, lips only centimetres apart, you follow her lead, focusing on the feeling of her heartbeat rather than the thoughts, letting that fill your head, and slowly, you drift back into sleep.

⸸

you wake up with a dull sting on the inside of your thighs. you curse internally when you realise that it was because you had self-harmed for the first time in months. but then you feel a familiar hand tracing lines down your back, and the smell of soft peaches and you recall that momo had found you cutting yourself. but the way she's tracing your back means she's still here and she hasn't left and that you're still okay.

momo realises you're awake, moving her hand to your hair and brushing the pieces that have fallen over your face. "hi sweetie."

"mm morning. what time is it?"

she giggles a little, "its 5pm actually. i didn't want to wake you. nayeon and sana should be back home soon."

you startle, "what?! 5pm?! where did they go? did they-"

"shh shh no it's okay. i woke up early and made everyone breakfast. when they came in they asked where you were. i told them you slept in the guest bedroom because you weren't feeling well. they wanted to see you but i told them to let you rest. i don't think you should hide this from them for much longer though y/n."

you sigh, relaxing back into her embrace, "i know. i'll tell them when they get back." you can feel the anxiety beginning to chip away at you as soon as the words leave your mouth. you'd thought about it before in the past, about how they'd react. on the worst end of the spectrum, they'd leave you, thankfully momo hasn't done that yet. and realistically you don't think nayeon and sana will either. but there was always that fear in the back of your head. it was more likely that sana would feel hurt and start crying and nayeon would get angry that you didn't trust them with the information. both of which you didn't really want to deal with because you didn't want to cause any of them any negative emotions. but if you didn't tell them, it would mean forcing momo to keep a secret for you and have her constantly go around on tip-toes while worrying over you. it wouldn't be fair and you’d essentially be self-sabotaging your own relationship.

momo breaks you out of your thoughts when she uses her hand to rap lightly against your forehead, "what's going on in there sweetie?"

you shake her off giggling and she smiles, "nothing i'm just thinking about how to tell them is all."

"do you want me to be there?"

you look up at her, her eyes are sincere and caring, you could stare into them for the rest of your life, "yes please, if that's okay with you."

momo squeezes you against her even tighter, planting a kiss on your forehead and murmuring against it, "of course it's okay with me. i'd love to be there."

you smile against her, reminded of your eternal gratefulness and love you have for her, before your stomach starts to growl and you pull away embarrassed while momo starts to laugh that adorable, contagious laugh of hers.

you whine, climbing out of bed as she toddles along behind you, still laughing when you enter the bathroom.

you pick up your toothbrush and start to brush your teeth when you notice that the bathroom's been cleaned up since last night. there's no more blood on the floor and you look briefly over at momo who's standing on that tile looking at you carefully, the hint of a laugh still on her face.

"youscdonthaftawatchmeyknow."

she giggles when some toothpaste dribbles out of your mouth, tilting her head indicating she didn't catch what you said.

you spit out the toothpaste and repeat yourself, "you don't have to watch me y'know."

"i know."

you squeeze some of your facial wash into your hand, staring at her in the mirror when she doesn't move, still looking at your reflection with a gentle smile.

you shrug, closing your eyes and beginning to wash your face. you go through all the motions of your morning routine, and when you finish up and turn around to wipe your hands on the hand towel, she's still standing there watching you.

you clear your throat, leaving the bathroom and moving towards the kitchen. you hear her footsteps padding along behind you.

she overtakes you once you reach the kitchen, going towards the fridge and pulling out a few things. you sit at the kitchen benchtop and watch her reheat a few dishes that she must have made for breakfast and lunch.

"where did nayeon and sana go?"

"to the shops. we were meant to go check out that new bakery together in the city but i figured may as well let you rest, we can go another day."

"oh crap i'm so sorry i forgot! i would've woken up i'm so sorry-"

"it's okay sweetie don't worry. they were both fine to reschedule, they were more concerned about you than missing out on the bakery."

"why didn't you go out shopping with them?"

"i wanted to stay home with you."

"i was asleep."

momo hums, taking the food out of the microwave, "i didn't mind. here." she sets a bowl of sundubu jjigae in front of you and then goes to scoop out a bowl of rice from the rice cooker as well. you spent a lot of the last 24 hours crying but you can't help the tears that well up in you again at the smell. this was one of the first dishes momo made for the four of you when you moved in together.

"do you want me to feed you?" momo's joking as she slides the bowl of rice over, but when you look up at her and she realises you're crying she quickly panics, "i mean i can! if you want!" she's frantically rummaging for a spoon and scooping out some rice and stew and holding it out to you.

you laugh, wiping at your eyes with your sleeve, adoring the way she tilts her head like a confused puppy in bewilderment, a small pout appearing on her lips.

you lean up and take the spoonful into your mouth, chewing and swallowing before leaning across to peck her on the lips. "i just love you is all you idiot."

momo blushes and you take the chance to grab the spoon from her and start eating the meal yourself.

she pouts and is about to whine when you both hear the door open, the telltale sign of keys jangling and the happy chattering of your other two favourite people in the world.

"momo! we got that ice cream y/n likes but i still don't think it's a good idea for her to eat it if she's sick!" nayeon's yelling from the door, probably taking off her shoes and you can hear a short squeal and something crash followed by laughter and you know sana has probably knocked something down or fallen over.

you raise your eyebrows at momo who shrugs and grins sheepishly, grabbing nayeon and sana's mugs and filling them with water.

when they come into the kitchen all loud and giggles its a sight for sore eyes. nayeon's kissing momo hello and setting the bags of shopping they have down. sana rounds the corner with more bags and that infectious smile. you loved all of them so much.

nayeon spots you first, frowning and walking over to you immediately, placing the back of her hand on your forehead. "hey baby, sorry to hear you weren't feeling well last night. are you feeling better now?"

you blush, nodding your head, your mouth still full of food.

sana's next to bound over to you once she's kissed momo in greeting as well, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head, "we missed you today. i got you this top i think would be really cute on you though! and momoring we also got you one of those draw-on shirts but we thought we could turn it into a date or something so we have four!" she's rummaging through her bags, producing items of clothing and talking about each one with her endless energy.

you swallow your food and look up at nayeon who has a fond smile on her face while watching sana, when she notices you looking at her she smiles and leans down to brush her lips against yours.

"wait... you're not sick with anything contagious are you...?"

"what if i was?"

she's squealing, running behind the counter before momo laughs and hands her the mug of water she filled and urging her to drink it. she also passes sana her mug who kisses her again in thanks.

you hum in content, happy to be around the people you loved most. its almost as if... they'll leave you. you don't deserve them. this is all temporary. don't get comfortable. you clench your spoon a little tighter, trying to will away the thoughts as you shove another spoonful into your mouth, focusing on the taste and the love behind the person who made it for you.

"-and i almost fell into the fountain and she just stood there and laughed at me!"

look at them enjoying themselves. you’re the odd one out. the one who’s about to break everyone’s happy mood.

you can make out nayeon's cackle, "in my defense! it was pretty funny! you had all your bags and everything and you threw your phone at that little boy!"

"wait sana you did what?"

you should just leave. leave them. look how happy they are without you. all you bring is sadness and anger. you can’t give them anything they’d want. what could you offer them?

"momoringg!! don't join her in this! he pushed me!"

"yeah because you were trying to steal his girlfriend!"

useless. hopeless. there’s nothing you can do. you can’t get anything right. not your job, not your friends, they’ll realise soon enough you know? that they’re better than you. that they’re too good for you. then it’ll be them leaving you. do it first before they realise that and break your heart.

"i was not!"

"that definitely sounds like you actually."

"y/n! you're on my side right?"

you look up in a daze, confused at what the context of the conversation was. "sorry?"

momo's frowning, trying to meet your eyes but you avoid her, looking at sana who's pouting, "were you listening? are you okay y/n?"

"y-yeah sorry i was just- just thinking about something. can you tell me the story again?"

suddenly sana's all in your space, basically climbing into your lap and cupping your cheeks with her hands, squinting at you. "what were you thinking about?"

you blush immediately, "oh y-y'know, just work."

"work's more important than me?"

"no sana i didn't mean it like that i'm sorry. of course work isn’t more important than you. can you tell me the story again? i'll listen this time i promise."

sana hums, nudging her nose against yours gently, "i'll tell you if you tell me the truth."

"what truth?" you feign indifference.

you can tell nayeon is looking at momo, asking for an explanation with her eyes but momo shrugs, turning away and going towards the sink to do the dishes.

"we've been together for 7 months y/n. and i've known you for much longer than that. i can tell when you're lying honey."

you gulp, clutching the spoon tighter with your hands when you feel someone else, nayeon, unwrap your fingers gently and take the spoon away, interlocking your fingers with hers instead.

you stand up quickly, unable to be interrogated at such close distance anymore. sana looks a little hurt when you do, pouting but letting you go. you look at nayeon who's eyeing you with a concerned curiosity. momo still has her back to all of you with the tap on but you can tell her shoulders are tense.

you rub the back of your neck in nervousness, avoiding all of their gazes. "u-um... i actually kinda... have something i needed to talk to you all about..."

you can feel the anxiety ramping up, the adrenaline and urge to run away pumping through you, your palms beginning to sweat.

momo saves you when she turns off the tap and wipes her hands clean, "let's all go to the living room and have some ice cream and we can talk about it yeah?"

you smile at her gratefully and she returns it, grabbing the ice cream nayeon and sana just brought back and a few spoons and bowls.

nayeon and sana exchange looks of confusion but help momo bring the utensils over and eventually you're all sitting on your couch in the living room with the television on for some background noise so it wasn't too awkward.

you fiddle with your hands, not looking at any of them while the random sitcom you have plays in the background. momo notices and grabs a hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing gently, reassuring you that she was there.

you take a breath, clearing your throat and looking up at nayeon and sana.

"so i- um- i don't really know how to say this-"

"it's okay baby take your time. it's just us right?"

"yeah we're not going to judge you honey. we're here for you whatever this is okay?"

you take a shaky breath in, mumbling incoherently to yourself before deciding, "u-um it's probably a bit easier to s-show you." you let go of momo's hand and start to undo the tie at your pants.

"um... y/n if all you wanted was sex i think there were other ways to-" momo slaps nayeon who yelps, rubbing her arm where she was hit mumbling a "what?" but momo shushes her and gestures back to you.

you stand up and drop your pants, immediately feeling the cool breeze against your naked legs, shivering a little and fighting the urge to cover yourself. you stare down at your feet when you hear the little gasps. you decide to start talking, refusing to look up, "i'm sorry i made momo lie to you. i wasn't sick last night. i woke up and started thinking some… not so great things and i needed it to stop so i- um- i went to the bathroom where i hid some of my old stuff and i um- well-“ you awkwardly gesture at your thighs before continuing, “momo woke up and found me after the first cut. i would’ve kept going if she didn’t find me. she helped me clean up and bandage it and then i asked to sleep in the guest room because i didn’t want to um- i wasn’t ready to uh- to tell you guys yet- i’m sorry for keeping this from all of you for so long.“

when you’re done, you risk a glance up, and find the three loves of your life, tears running down their faces.

sana’s the first to move, she gets up and practically jumps over to you, but she stops short right before you touch, “c-can i- c-can i hug you?”

you smile at her, feeling your own tears well up at the sight of your three girlfriends crying. “of course darling. i’m still the same. i still love cuddling with you.”

she doesn’t give you a second thought and buries her head into your neck, wrapping her arms around your waist. you realise you’re still standing in the middle of the living room with your pants down which is a little absurd but you wrap your arms around her, sagging into her a little when she squeezes. you can feel her soft crying and the tears wet your neck.

nayeon stands and comes around as well, a little hesitant but you look at her and offer a wet smile and she breaks, enveloping the both of you in her arms as well with a muted sob. momo joins in as well because of course she does, you look at her gratefully as she sniffles, fiddling a little with her fingers before coming around behind you and moulding herself to your back, hands coming around your waist and holding onto sana’s hands, giving them a squeeze for reassurance as well.

you're surrounded with all the love you wanted. so why do you still want to die? you don't listen to that voice, pushing it down and trying to stay in the moment. eventually, someone breaks away, and you awkwardly shuffle your pants back on, glad to be able to cover up your scars.

nayeon speaks up first, a hand still holding yours, squeezing gently, "how long have you been... y'know-"

"since before i met you. the thoughts started getting really bad when i was still in high school. and all the pressure with doing well and all the extra curriculars i was picking up, it just got too much. the only thing that worked was the pain. it got me through high school, and i started to rely on it. but then... the first time i slept with someone... she was appalled. i had almost forgotten the scars were there until my pants were off. she got scared off and i told myself i wouldn't let anyone else see this side of me."

"baby..."

"it's okay. it got better after i met you guys. and when we all started dating i stopped. i felt happy." you smile up at your girlfriends, tears still streaming down your face, "being with all of you made me forget those things. but they came back. and worse this time because- because i have so much more to lose now. i can't- i can't lose you-" you can't control the sobs when you break down again. pathetic.

the girls are surrounding you instantly, whispering reassurances, brushing through your hair, tracing shapes into your skin, you try and focus on your bodily sensations rather than your internalisations, try and focus on them.

"we'd never leave you honey... we're not complete without you, you believe me right?" sana's tilting your face up to meet hers, her eyes are watery, nose red.

"i'm trying to believe you."

she places her forehead against yours and closes her eyes, sighing slightly, "i'm going to tell you that everyday from now. that i love you and that i'm not going anywhere. until you believe me." she smiles and tries for a joke, "you're going to have to deal with clingy me for the rest of your life."

you let out a broken laugh, kissing her sweetly. "i love when you're clingy anyway."

she laughs as well, wiping at her nose.

you peek at nayeon. you know she has more questions, the frown on her face and the little pout she has breaks your heart. you reach a hand out to her, she takes it after some consideration, and you pull her into your lap.

"you can ask anything. there's nothing off limits. i'll try answer everything i can and i promise i'll be honest with everything. that goes for the both of you as well." you look over at sana who's moved to your side to allow for nayeon to sit on your lap, she's got a hand on the eldest's waist, playing with her shirt, her other hand on your shoulder.

momo moves to your other side, lifting nayeon's legs and placing them on her own, tracing her calves and brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

nayeon's biting her lip, you focus on the small mole under her left eyebrow.

"w-why didn't you tell us?"

you sigh, "i didn't really think i needed to at first. because i hadn't done it in so long. i thought i was better."

"is it because you thought you couldn't trust us?"

"no baby that's not it."

"why did you keep your old stuff hidden then? when we moved in together? a part of you must have thought you weren't entirely better."

you bring a hand up to caress her cheek, she leans into the touch. "you're right. i'm sorry."

"is it still here?"

you look towards momo for an answer and she nods, "i didn't want to throw everything away. i wanted you to make that decision on your own. i thought that if we forcefully got rid of your things you might just try and hide it from us the next time the feelings come up. it's there but i... i don't really like the idea of leaving you alone y/n..."

nayeon's squeezing one of momo's hands, "pretty baby's so smart. i'm thankful you found her momo."

you nod in agreement, "is that why you kept following me around?"

momo nods shyly, her eyes still wet.

"i'm okay with that. i don't- i don't really trust myself right now either. i think it'd be good if someone was with me. if that wasn't... a burden or anything of course..."

sana jumps in, "honey no. you're not a burden. i hope you don't think that about yourself. i love taking care of you. i'd love being able to be there for you while you get better."

you smile at her gratefully.

"what are some of the bad thoughts you have baby?" nayeon's bringing your attention back to her, you can tell she's struggling to formulate these questions. but you're glad that she's asking them.

"a lot of it is about you guys. because you're all the reason i'm still here today."

"what about us? what can we do sweetie?"

you shake your head, looking down at your hands which are quickly taken ahold of by momo and sana. "i guess it comes down to... wondering if you can still love me while i hate myself." your grip tightens around their hands.

"you hate yourself?" nayeon's voice is shaky now, she's trying her best to hold back her emotions, wanting to find out everything she can do for you.

you nod, tears dropping onto her pants.

"there's this song. i think- i think it might be easier to play that for you guys if that's okay? i'm not really- i don't really know how to talk about this..."

they nod and quickly try and find your phone. momo finds it and hands it over to you. you quickly unlock it and search for the song you're looking for. could you love me while i hate myself - zeph.

you press play, clicking into the lyrics and staring at them to avoid looking at your girlfriend's reactions. it's a short song.

could you love me while i hate myself?

could you love me though i don't deserve it?

could you love me like there's no one else

even though you know i can't return it?

could you love me when the water's rough?

or when i leave you in a desert?

could you love me, though i speak with knives?

knowing all to well that you'll get hurt

if you can't answer 'yes' just go

i'm more trouble than i'm worth

could you love me while i hate myself?

because i don't know how this works

i never learned how this works

when it ends, you awkwardly tap out of your app, putting your phone down.

"thank you for sharing that baby."

you hum.

nayeon takes a shaky breath in, then quietly asks, "is it okay if i sing for you?"

you're surprised, looking up at her, her eyes are red. you nod.

she closes her eyes, humming a note to start, taking a breath in again and steadying her voice.

i'll love you while you hate yourself

i'll love you because you deserve it

i'll love you like i love us together

until you're ready to return it

i'll love you when things get rough

no matter where you leave us

i'll love you even when you're

working out all your thoughts

i'll get hurt if it means

some of your pain comes onto me

i'll love you while you hate yourself

and we'll figure out how it works

together we'll learn to get better

when she finishes and opens her eyes, you're sniffling again, tears streaming out of your eyes.

sana's the first to speak up, bringing her hands up to wipe at the tears on nayeon's cheeks, "our little musical genius. of course you came up with a response exactly on pitch after listening to a song once."

nayeon lets out a broken laugh, leaning into sana's touch.

you meet her eyes, a bright smile gracing your face, and you probably look a little silly, wet cheeks and red nosed with tears still dripping out of you, but nayeon laughs again in relief, coming in and kissing you.

you kiss her back gratefully, trying to convey how much you loved her in your action. you can feel sana's hand on your arm and momo's fingers in your hair. you loved them.

the thoughts are still there. you think they’ll always be there. but you don’t have to take them on on your own anymore. it would take time, but the people you loved were going to help you through it. you needed to put some trust in them as well, trust that they wouldn't leave, trust that they loved you just as you loved them, you wanted to get better, for them and for yourself, you believed you could get better with their help, for now, that was enough.

⸸

an extra a/n bcs its important: hi! i recognise that all experiences are unique so i just wanted to say the descriptions here aren’t meant to be generalised and i didn’t intend to write any stereotypes or misconceptions and i apologise if i have - i try to draw upon my own experiences to be able to write - in saying that i hope that anyone who feels they relate to similar themes etc seeks the help they need from professional sources - my dms are open ofc but i am not a professional and it is best to speak to someone who can help you in real time and in physicality. stay safe love y’all practice some self care today if u get the chance! <3

[leejynz]

the boyz reaction - you flinching at them | fluff! angst!

*note this is all fictional and just based off of my opinion of the boyz js for fun*

sangyeon

he pauses for a moment and gets caught off guard that he yelled at you too loudly without realizing

he hugs you instantly, putting his left arm above your head

“wait. wait. wait. i’m sorry, did i just do that? im so sorry i didn’t realize how harsh i sounded”

jacob

both of you were arguing about how you weren’t taking care yourself mentally but you didn’t want jacob’s help and he yelled at you

he never acted like this so you got scared and you instantly closed your eyes and your arms covered you

you didn’t hear anything for a few seconds until jacob gently put your arms down and softly stared at you. he hugged you without saying anything

younghoon

you’ve both argued abt small things before but this time he exploded his anger for the first time and you flinched when he yelled at you

“no no no i’m sorry this wasn’t supposed to happen. i’m sorry i’m sorry.”

he quickly walked to you and hugged you while being wrapped around in his arms. he doesn’t say anything but you felt his tears on your shoulder

hyunjae

he had a bad day at work and you asked him for a favor but he starts cursing and yelling aggressively, coming towards you

you’re in a state of sudden shock and fear and you didn’t even notice that you unintentionally flinched

hyunjae’s eyes start softening and he sighed, going to his room. you slightly open the door and see him crying in the corner. you both hug each other and talked it out

juyeon

you were arguing abt smt stupid and he progressively increased his voice without realizing it

it wasn’t very noticeable but you flinched your eyes and scrunched up your shoulders but juyeon noticed it

“hey hey wait i’m sorry, are you okay? ah~ i didn’t even realize i was being so aggressive i’m sorry…”

kevin

kevin would get mad a lot but this time it was genuine. “are you kidding me right now? do you think i’m joking? seriously?”

he kept cutting off your words and his facial expressions got worse and his yells shook the walls

you fall down and start sobbing. he suddenly changed and instantly regret what he did, he starts to cry with you. “sorry i’m so sorry are you okay?”

chanhee

he starts blaming you for forgetting to remind him of something important

you start panicking and feeling bad for chanhee and when he yelled at you, you instantly squint your teary blurry eyes

he stops everything and just stares at you, you could tell he was still angry but he locked hands. “i’m sorry for being too aggressive but make sure this doesn’t happen again, okay?”

changmin

he’s gotten mad like this before but the look in his eyes tells you this was something different, his eyes sharpened and he threw a book on the floor out of anger

you’re speechless and have no words until changmin came closer towards you and you backed away from him

his eyes softened and he rubbed his eyes, he looked sad so you gave him a hug instead and he started crying when you hugged

juhaknyeon

he threw everything that got in his way, a pillow slammed onto the ground, he aggressively threw the remote onto the couch and you started worrying

he comes toward you silently and stares at you. you take one step back and he looks confused. you both lock eyes for a straight ten seconds

he sighs but then hugs you in his arms. “let’s talk about this later, let’s just not worry about anything right now”

sunwoo

he was angry at himself for making a mistake on stage. and he felt even worse bc he noticed you cleaned the house after he made an entire mess the other day

hes been silent ever since he came home. but he quickly ran towards you to ask you to go eat outside with him but you flinch a little

he looks shocked and you start laughing and telling him you were just kidding. “hey~~ that wasn’t funny at all”

eric

opposite to sunwoo, you had an argument about how eric had to keep cleaning your mess everyday around the house and you both kept going on and on about your argument

he starts getting yelling and getting frustrated, he looked intimidating. your heart starts beating really hard due to your guilt and sorry for him. he just death stares at you silently

when he walked towards you, your eyes flinch and he noticed this. he got even more angry but felt like you needed comfort. he sighed “okay but youre going to have clean up after yourself”

[hazybisou]

BEFORE HE CHEATS

fic

reader x mat barzal

summary: one night y/n catches mat cheating and leaves before coming back to teach her ex lover a little lesson about breaking her heart.

a/n: this is obviously inspired by “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood. every night i have this song on full volume and js pour it all out bc my ex sucked. also this takes place when tito was still with the islanders.

warnings: curse words, cheating, explicit content?? idk

right now, he's probably slow dancin'

with a bleached-blond tramp and she's probably gettin' frisky

you entered your shared apartment to find it very, very quiet. you knew mat had gotten home from running errands and normally, you’d hear him showering or shouting at the tv but today it was silent. you dropped your keys into the bowl near the door as you slipped off your shoes. you threw your bag onto the couch as you made your way to your bedroom.

when you opened the door, you weren’t prepared for the scene in front you. there, on your bed, was mat making out with some random blonde chick, naked. you felt tears prick at your eyes. “mat, what the fuck?!”

the pair quickly pulled apart. “shit,” mat whispered to himself as he scrambled around to put on his boxers, the girl covering herself up with the cover. you turned around and walked over to the couch to grab your bag. you could hear mat’s footsteps following you. “y/n wait..”

you whipped you body around, tears flowing down your cheeks. “no mat, you don’t get to say anything! i mean how could you! four years!” you shouted as you held up four fingers, “for four fucking years we’ve been fucking together a-and i come home to find you in bed with some other chick!? who the fuck does that mat! tell me!” you could see mat trying to come up with a response, “were you even thinking about what would happen before you got in bed with her?! or were you too blinded by the fact that she was standing in front of you, butt naked waiting for your dick!?”

silence. that’s all you got from mat.

you just chuckled before turning around, heading for the door as you slipped your shoes back on. “y/n please don’t go! i love you! i-i don’t know why i did it! please don’t leave me.” mat pleaded as tears began to fall out of the corners of his eyes. “you’re all i have here. i promise it won’t happen again, just please don’t go!”

mat grabbed your arm but you pulled it back. “that’s the thing mat, i can’t trust you anymore!” you shouted as turned around to face him. “i’m done here mat. i’ll be back tomorrow to grab my things. you can keep the place, i don’t care.” you opened the door and were about to walk out when you stopped.

you turned towards mat, “you’re a piece of shit, you know that? because if you don’t then you do now. have fun with your new girlfriend mat. hopefully she’s smarter than me and can see through your bullshit.” you turned around and started to walk towards the elevator.

“and where are you going to stay?” mat spoke up.

“with beau. i’m sure he’d be happy to take me in.” with that, you walked into the elevator as you clicked the button to close the doors, your figure disappearing from mat’s sight.

━━━━━━━━━━

you knocked on anthony’s door and a few seconds later it opened and you were met with his girlfriend, zoe. she had a smile on her face but it quickly faltered when she noticed your tear stained cheeks. “oh y/n…c’mere.” she cooed as she opened her arms for you to get into and that’s when you let more tears flow. “come on.” she said as she ushered you inside.

“babe, who is it?” anthony shouted from the kitchen but it got louder as he walked towards the two of you. “oh, y/n hey-what happened?” he questioned as he saw you both were hugging and you were sniffling.

“he cheated. mat cheated on me.” you explained as you began to cry harder.

“what?! when?” anthony asked as you all walked to the couch. you set your bag down and sat next to zoe as you explained the situation to the pair. by the end of it, you were still sniffling and crying. “i’m gonna kill him, i swear.”

zoe turned to her boyfriend, “you’re not doing shit, alright? not unless y/n gives you the green light to do so,” zoe scolded him. “as of now, you are going to sit and listen.”

“thank you.” you whispered as she held you close. you whipped the tears that streamed down your cheeks, “can i ask for a favor?” she nodded her head, “you think i could s-stay here for a while? just until i find my own place again.”

“stay as long as you need y/n, you can have the guest bedroom.” anthony told you. you looked over at him and smiled to the best of your ability.

“we’ll go get your stuff tomorrow while mat is at practice but right now, let’s get you to bed.” zoe said as you two got up and walked towards the guest room. anthony had stayed in the living room waiting until he got notice that he was able to go to his room.

you and zoe walked into the room and you placed your bag on the bed before turning towards zoe. “i’ll lend you some clothes to sleep in, okay?” she said and you nodded in thanks as she pressed a kiss to your forehead. you sat on the bed as she went to her closet to grab a set of clothes for you to borrow. you fell back and laid there, thinking about the past hour. had mat been cheating this whole time? surely he had to have cheated before.

you were too busy thinking, you hadn’t noticed zoe was back. “alright, here you go.” she announced as you were handed the clothes. “i’ve already laid out some things in the bathroom right across from here like an extra toothbrush, a hair brush, tampons, pads, whatever i thought you’d need.”

“thank you again. i don’t know where else i would’ve gone. you guys are amazing.” you thanked her.

“of course! you’re my friend and friends look out for each other.” she smiled and you hugged her before she got up and left, calling out for anthony. you changed out of your old clothes and put the tank top and shorts zoe had lended you on. you went to the bathroom and had brushed your teeth, wiping your makeup off. you tied your hair into a braid and made your way into bed. the doors were closed and only a lamp was on.

as soon as your head hit the pillow, you were out like a light.

right now, he's probably buyin' her some fruity little drink

'cause she can't shoot whiskey

right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick

showin' her how to shoot a combo

for the last couple of days, you’ve been staying with anthony and his girlfriend. you had moved some of your stuff from your previously shared apartment with mat to anthony’s place with the help of zoe and him.

each night you’d be up looking through mat’s story on instagram and he’d be with the girl he cheated on you with. you found out her name was anna, due to him tagging her user on one of his story’s, where he had shot gunned a drink while she sipped on a margarita. guess she couldn’t handle the taste.

turns out, she had also posted as she had a video of him teaching her to play pool on her story a couple minutes later. she couldn’t even hit the ball properly but they were all intoxicated meaning no one really payed attention.

you hated it. the feeling of betrayal. the feeling of sadness and heartbreak. you hated how he has moved on so fast. especially with her. you couldn’t stand it.

you tried to ignore it as best as you could yet that feeling always led to tears being shed. you couldn’t just lay there and let him get away with causing you so much pain and heartbreak.

oh, and he don’t know

that i dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive

carved my name into his leather seats

i took a louisville slugger to both headlights

i slashed a hole in all four tires

maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats

you still has mat’s number. you had sent him a text saying you were going to pick up a few more things that you had forgotten to take over to anthony’s place. he replied with an ‘ok’ and that was it.

you had still had the key to the apartment as it had been yours previously before mat had moved in. you put the key in the lock and twisted the knob before opening the door. the place was clean. the shoes were in pairs and lined up by the door. the couch pillows were sat up straight. the kitchen looked fresh. the whole place was like you had it before mat had moved in. he was a bit of a snob when it came to keeping the house clean.

you walked into your old bedroom and headed towards the closet. you two has decided on splitting the space. you got the right and he got the left. all his clothing was there and you only had a couple t-shirts and tank tops in there. you couldn’t help but wonder where anna’s stuff had been. they were together after all.

you grabbed the remaining of your clothes and walked out of the closet. you couldn’t help but look around the place. it was organized. just how you had done it.

seeing the place all cleaned up hurt you. you mind would still replay the night you had come home to may sucking faces with the blonde chick, anna. you always felt the heartbreak and betrayal when you thought of it. your mind would play tricks on you, reminding you of all the happy moments you had with mat.

you couldn’t help it when all of sudden you felt your hand come in contact with the vase on the dresser. it shattered as it hit the ground. you felt tears slide down your cheeks and onto the carpet. that seemed to have caused adrenaline rush through the course of you body. it felt good.

i might have saved a little trouble for the next girl

a-'cause the next time that he cheats

oh, you know it won't be on me

no, not on me

you arm slid across the dresser knocking everything off. jewelry, cologne, books, and other random things, fell to the ground. you grabbed a pillow off the bed and looked at it before throwing it at the full-body length mirror and watched as the mirror hit the floor with a thud.

you walked out of the room and knocked random things off walls and tables. you threw the couch pillows off the cushions. the cuahions seemed fine. you hated it.

you walked to the kitchen and grabbed a knife before going back and cutting the cushion open. you slashed random lines into it before dropping the knife onto it. you were like a mad man. but of felt good. the anger you felt was leaving you body as you looked at the apartment. it was trashed.

the place had seemed like someone had plumaged through it. technically you did if you thought of it. you knew he’d be confused. you walked over to a drawer in the kitchen and grabbed a pen and notepad before writing down on it. you tore it out and left it on the kitchen counter. you walked towards the door with your clothes in your hand, opened the door and left.

━━━━━━━━━━

bonus +

mat had arrived late from a game that night. he saw your text before exiting the locker room and heading towards the rink. he gave you the ok and turned his phone off and the team left. he had arrived late due to traffic and was expecting to come home to a nice apartment where he could just rest.

if only he knew what he was too find.

he took the elevator up and walked to his apartment number and opened the door before walking in. he wasn’t prepared.

the place was a dump. everything was out of order. he walked further into the place and saw the knife on the couch. his attention soon adverted too the slashes on his (yours) couch.

the kitchen was fine surprisingly. he noticed the pictures that were hanging on the wall in the hallway on the ground, facing face-down. he quickly rushed to the room annd paused as he saw the state it was in. he looked at his closet and saw your things were gone.

‘so you really did come by?’ mat thought before heading towards the kitchen to grab his phone and call you.

your note was still on the island where his phone laid. he saw his phone and reached across for it. he grabbed it and looked around before noticing the piece of paper. he slowly took it and opened it.

it read,

‘had to take my anger

out somehow :( don’t

be mad

-y/n’

he knew he fucked up. yet he still did it. maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.

oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

oh, before he cheats

oh-oh

little angst?? idk 🤷‍♀️ i js write fluff but ya know… we gotta change it up a little sometimes. anyways enjoy this while i go to sleep for school tmrw bc i have a test that i will most likely fail. bye

[thebottomfromhell]

Hantengu x gn reader who “disappeared” for a few days (we js went to visit family and forgot to tell him)

We are ready to laugh at Hantengu's misery, and guess who is with us? Urogi and Karaku are anyone's nightmare.

Hantengu's (main body) reaction to GN Human Reader going "missing".

Warmings: This one is funny but Hantengu is genuinely having a bad time here so Bullying, Character with PTSD, (Pre-)Panic attack and Implied sexual content (just Karaku's teasing of "We have heard").

Where are you? No, seriously, where are you? This isn't funny, you know? He and the clones came by and he is yet to find you. He searched in your room, in the corridors, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in your wardrobes, even under the floor.... WHERE ARE YOU? DID YOU LEAVE? IS THIS YOU WAY TO TELL HIM YOU DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE?! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

"Hey, is something wrong?" Asks Karaku, who, by the way, is stealing your products for the hair, a dressing drown and is about to use all you hot water thank you very much, as he found the main body hugging his legs as he lies on the floor, sobbing heard enough for everyone in the house to hear him and see what is going on. "Y-Y-Y/N! Y/N! Y/N is go-go-gone!" Sekido crosses his arms as he looks disgusted to the main body, Aizetsu just stays at the corner of the room, looking uncomfortable. Urogi "Y/N is gone? Why? Where?" Hantengu sobs and screams, how can he be so loud? "Y/N! Y/N LEF-LE-LEFT ME! Y/N DOE-DOES-DOESN'T LOV-LOVE ME ANYMORE!"

While Urogi looks genuinely worried you might have left, as Sekido palms his head so hard he scratches his hand with his horn, Karaku justas looks around the room for anything you might have to make himself a spa. "If Y/N had left then the house would not be having things like clothes or food, which, by the way, some is rotting. Y/N's irresponsibility is sad.... still, it would be more likely something happened before leaving like this. You know, with the slayers and the other demons." That was Aizetsu's attemp of helping the situation. As you might guess, it didn't help at all. Hantengu stops sobbing because of the shock before shrieking loud enough that Urogi and Karaku have to cover their ears.

"NOOOOO! Y/N IS DEAD! DEAD! Y/N LEFT MEEE!" he grabbing his head as he starts running towards your room, clothing the door loudly once he reach it to the point the clones can basically feel the door shutting down from the other side of the house. "LOOK WHAT YOU JUST DID, AIZETSU!" Sekido yells as he grabs Aizetsu by the collar. "I didn't mean it like that. This is so pitiful." They look at the direction the main body took without knowing what to do. "Will Y/N be fine?" Karaku rests his hands on Urogi's shoulder. "Don't worry, Y/N has a life besides us, remember? Probably just hanging around family and friends or had a field trip because of wrok. Ya' know.... responsibilities." The word seems to disgusts both clones as they make a face, making Sekido facepalm again as Aizetsu sighs.

Meanwhile Hantengu is inside your bed, covering himself with your sheets, again in fetal position as he cries. You changed and washed these sheets, so they no longer smell like you, making him whimper and sob as he hugs a pillow, body trembling. He doesn't know if it's the heat and preassure under the beddings or the fact that he can't stop crying, but he feels as if suffocating. His vision is blurry, is it because of the thick tears running down to the side of your face as they wet your beddings? He can't tell but he doesn't even want to think what other choice could it be. It's too hot, it's hard to breath. Hantengu misses you, he misses you so much, he wants you to be there. This heat is not like yours, this body is not like yours, this smell it's not like yours....

It's not you, you are not here, you are not here and he needs you. He can't breath without you and his pulse is way too fast for it to be comfortable, Hantengu doesn't know what to do but to choke on his own sobs because you are not there to comfort him. He really needs you, can't you see? Where are you? Are you laughing at him? "Y/N! Y-Y-Y/N! PLE-PLEA-PLEASE! Y/N!" He cries for you, but you left. You left and he can't handdle it!

Urogi goes to your room later, finding the main body under the beddings. "Hey! Are you still crying?" He takes the sheets off your bed, uncovering Hantengu, who doesn't really react to it. "Hey! Hey! Are you listening? I'm talking to you! C'mon, don't ignore me!" He whines as he grabs Hantengu's shoulder, no reaction again, and moves him a little. Realizing he is not getting a response, he stands on top of Hantengu, curling in himself. The weight slowly settles into the main body as he realizes the Joy clone is on him. "Wha-wha-what?" At seeing the door open, Karaku enters your room as well, smiling at the scene. "Well, you definetely look a lot better. You are not planning to replace Y/N with Urogi, are you?"

The main body whines as he tries to push the bird-like clone off him, but Urogi uses his wings to balance himself, intimidating Hantengu. "Not true! Not true!" He can see Aizetsu at the end of the corridor passing by, so he calls for his aid. "AIZETSU! AIZETSU! HELP!" The Sorrow clone looks, realizing the main body is no longer panicking, at least not more or worst than usual, and he evaluates his choices. In the end, being teased by Karaku and Urogi is better than having an attack, demon or not, so he backs down slowly, without saying a word. "AIZETSU! YOU TRAITOR! I HATE YOU!"

"Aww, I bet Y/N will find you so cute and pretty once back like this~ Desperate and needy~ You are doing it on purpose, aren't ya?" Karaku starts, he just can't help it, it's fun to bully the main body, that's it. "That's not true! Sto-stop accusing me!" Urogi laughs when Karaku does as they keep teasing Hantengu. "So cute! That is why you act like this when thinking of Y/N? For attention? So cute!" The main body starts sobbing again. He doesn't do it for attention, bet he blushes as he can't deny he wants it badly. He always wants your attention, is comforting, please give it to him already! "Well, we all know Y/N loves to see you cry and hear you sob and whimper. We have heard it before~"

It's impossible to tall how many hours the two clones of positive emotions spent distracting Hantengu from having another panic attack, but at least he is not fearing that you are dead or that you are not comming back. "When do you think Y/N will come back?" Asks Sekido annoyed while hearing the laughs and squeals from your room. "No idea, and the sun is already up. We can only wait and see." The anger clone growls at that, but accepts there is not muche they can do about it. You arrive when the sun is about to set, and you can tell by the noise Uppermoon 4 is inside. You are careful so the still lingering sun rays don't touch inside as you step in.

"Tadai-" You can't even finish before Hantengu uses his speed, the speed he has as a demon, to get in front of you and kneel as he hugs your waist, still crying. "Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! DO-DO-DON'T LEAVE! NOT AGA-AGAIN! I-I-I NEED YOU!" He relaxes slightly, burring his face in your stomach, as you pet his head. "Calm down love, I was just out to see some family, nothing to worry about. We are safe, I got you." Karaku was to say a "I told you so" when Sekido growls and start pulling from the hair both him and Urogi, they already ahd their fun, Now they leave Hantengu in your hands. "We will be on the other room. Aizetsu!" The named one yelps but follows Sekido without saying anyhting.

"Plea-plea-please don't.... I'll be good, I'll be good, please! Don't do that again. It was scary. Scary!" You chuckle at that, even as he whines, Hantengu melts against your touch, finally calming down. "Shhh. It's alright, sorry for scaring you. Are you feeling better?" No answer to that, but you already know. "Shh, it's fine love. I won't be leaving you again anytime soon, promise." At least not without telling him, Why did you have to love the delicate one?

[stylesloveclub]

grumpy is js so... soft for sunshine and i don't think it's talked about enough :(( like he's such a big rough sweet teddy bear who'd do absolutely anything for her :((( seeing her smile literally makes his day, he hates being without her, it's like he can feel his heart cracking the longer they're apart :((( i js can't stop thinking abt how he WORSHIPS her... like everything about her, the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly :((( i cannot even begin to fathom their first time together omfg-

-t*mmy r*ding anon 😵‍💫

YEAH:((( like guys we need to remember he is KNOWN for being major #1 grump like he never smiles never talks to strangers even his friends know like don't expect much conversation from harry's he's just kinda grump:( but sunshine ... she like changed him:( like he's ONLY soft for her :( they could be at a huge party and he'd be sulking in some corner until his sunshine shows up :( or at school on campus u'd see him standing in front of the lecture hall like a big grump until his sunshine comes skipping out and then his face is all lit up :( he literally only wants to make her smile like that's his only priority is to see her happy bc happy sunshine is happy harry :( and like what u said ... he loves EVERYTHING about her .... he loves her when she's sunshine but he also loves her when she's crying and when she's sensitive:( in fact those moments make him love her even MORE:( when she's stressing over a midterm or crying bc she's sad or even if she's overreacting to something he said like he loves his sunshine SO much he'll sit and talk it out with her :( the good the bad the beautiful and the ugly :( he loves her and finds it so cute that she's so shy and wants to just make her feel good and comfortable he loves teaching her all her firsts he LOVES HER SO MUCH . :( their first time is gonna be so lovey and cute like :( we need to talk about it more i think i should write it as their next blurb honestly

[mxltifxnd0m]

i feel like sam is so obsessed with sundresses, like he js loves the way they are on the chest and then how flowy they are at the bottom and he just thinks you look so beautiful in one like he’d stare at you like ur an angel bc ur his angel and he kisses ur neck and everything and he js loves u so much. like when he sees u it’s like that one tiktok of the legos and that song what goes like “OH I JUST DIED IN UR ARMS TONIGHT , MUSTA BEEN SOMETHING U SAID” and then when u talk it’s like “blah blah blah proper name place name backstory stuff” and he literally has heart eyes for you and he js stares at you like “i didn’t know u could get anymore beautiful but u did” and yeah

-💽

no because why are you right?? i feel like if his partner was a hunter alongside with him, it would be rare to see them in anything other than casual clothing and but if you guys are going out on a date in the spring/summer and you pulled a sundress out of nowhere and wore it for the date, he'd be rendered speechless

like he loves the way it hugs your curves but also allows the skirt to hang around your ankles and billow out as the air hits it as you walk and you just look like an angel to him. i could just see him staring at you hard when you walk up to him and give him a little twirl, a smile on your face as you see his mouth agape as his eyes rake over your figure.

"how do i look?"

"..."

"sammy?" all he does his grab you by the waist and gives you the softest kiss known to man on your lips before pulling away to rest his forehead against yours.

UGHH YES HE LOVES KISSING YOU!! and one of his fav spots is your neck and how responsive you are to them and in a sundress, he has plenty of access to it 😏😏

and yess i could totally see that audio playing out LMAOO like yess sammy is struck dumb by his gorgeous partner and is literally thinking about how lucky he is to have them and thanks whatever higher power there is out there that they brought you into his life and now im going to go cry in the corner because i need lovestruck/soft sam so bad T_T

[summ6rbummer]

patrick hocksetter x female bully victim

ASKFJSKDJHSLA BLESS YOU FOR GIVING ME SOMETHING TO WRITE ILY (PSA) if you like any of my work, pls pls pls request something!! i love writing these!

okay i got this in the bag. im not gonna use a lot of descriptive terms for the girl in this because i didnt get a lot of input WHICH is not a problem but i dont wanna make this unfit for the requester (or anyone frls) anywayss basically the reader in this is has been targeted for quite a few years, starting in elementary with bowers and hocksetter, then in middle school with huggins and criss. i also wasnt sure if this was supposed to be a ship or romantic or not butt im making it a little bit. but not a lot. im gonna js start writing now i hope you enjoy!! also this might be a little long.

little one

patrick hocksetter x female! bully victim

(first person)

tw! stalking - lowkey sexual harassment - mentions of suicide-

first day of 5th grade, stepper elementary school derry Maine. my mom had picked an outfit for my first day, a pair of overalls and a little striped short sleeve with my boots and some ponytails. thinking back, that was an adorable outfit. yet the way i remember feeling when they ruined it was not.

i had that class with dumb and dumber themselves, patrick hocksetter and henry bowers. i didn't know much about them at the time, considering that 5th grade was the first year i had a class with either of them. id heard rumors about henry and some boys he was friends with being huge bullies and to steer clear of them, so when i walked into that classroom on the first day and saw them sitting in the back corner, warning signs flashed in my peripherals.

id always been an anxious kid, hell my parents bothered me about it every chance they could get. anyways, i was already having stomach quivers about starting school, and now i was in the same class as them. of course, as i was trying to lay low, the teacher decided to put me at the table in front of them. i could just feel the terrible intent radiating off of the boys behind me, through the icebreaker games, through math, reading, science, and even recess. recess was where i met my best friend, Emma. she was in the other fifth grade class, with the other two boys, reggie and victor? i think that was his name. she told me all about the things people say about the group.

especially patrick. they say he killed his younger brother with a pillow when he was five. im still shocked to this day about that. but i remember going back to class after that and feeling oddly cold sitting down in front of that boy. throughout the rest of class, i was slowly preparing myself to ask the teacher to move my seat. so when the dismissal bell rang, i waited for the rest of the students to leave, including patrick and henry, to go to the teacher and tug on her sleeve to ask her to move my seat.

the next day, she sat me across the room, next to a boy named jonathan. i was feeling much better about that class, until about halfway through lunch. i was sitting with Emma and Jonathan, chatting about our highscores in dig dug. out of nowhere, it got extremely quiet in the lunchroom. i stopped talking and carefully looked around, before realizing everyone was looking at our table. my blood ran cold as i realized Emma was staring at something directly behind me, dead eyes and mouth agape.

slowly i turned around, only to be met eye to eye by patrick hocksetter. he had a sca smile on holding a balloon filled with something and a thumbtack. before i could even ask what he wanted, he stabbed the balloon directly above my head, letting bright blue liquid splash over my hair, and down my face and clothes. he erupted into laughter, followed by the rest of the boys, followed by scattered giggles across the lunchroom. i coughed in shock, blinking, before the burning sensation set into my eyes. i started crying, and my throat was closing at the smell and my coughing. through my blue blurred eyes, i stumbled up, shoved through the four boys and the rest of the laughing lunchroom and ran out to the bathroom. before i could even make it there, a hand grabbed the back of my shirt.

henry had pulled me out of the bathroom doorway, and now i was surrounded by the boys.

'hopefully that'll teach your stupid fucking girl brain not to snitch to the teacher about us." i heard a voice sneer at me. i rubbed my eyes and watched through blurry vision as they turned and started walking back to the lunchroom. "but we aren't done with you SNITCH" i heard henry yell as i carefully stumbled into the bathroom.

and they decided they weren't done with me. not for the rest of the year, not for the year of 6th grade, or 7th grade, or 8th, or oven freshman year. and each year they got more and more creative. it evolved from shoving me on the playground, to snipping off pieces of my hair when i wasn't paying attention, then when i hit puberty, showing off my bled-through gym shorts, catcalling me in the hallways, and snapping my bra straps. leaving threatening notes in my locker, as well as dead flies, yknow, the usual.

eventually, i got used to the humiliation, but i was extremely surprised that it all came from me just asking to move my seat in fifth grade.

now its sophomore year, and its gotten worse yet better. im only really targeted by patrick and henry, the other two are really just in for the ride. belch, as they call him, is actually kinda nice to me. we have social studies together. i let him borrow a pencil one time and give him homework answers and in return, he kinda started being nice to me. patrick on the other hand was treating me exactly the same. stalking me through the hallways, following me home, leaving me threatening notes, boring his eyes into the back of my head in class, carving his initials into my windowsill....

but it seems like hes become more obsessed than hateful. one time i found a list of my backpack contents inside my pocket. and half the time i dont even know how he finds out some things. its kinda scary. whos fucking kidding its terrifying. and im so fucking tired of it.

he terrorizes me. i sprint home everyday so he cant catch up to me. sometimes they all take belchs car and i hear the engine rapidly approaching me. all these things build up over the days and weeks, and it makes me feel like im genuinely going insane. i have panic attacks on my way to school, i flinch at people trying to hug me, i just live under the freakishly tall shadow of patrick hocksetter. i wonder how he can be so messed up when we're only fifteen.

anyways, back to present day, biology class. which i coincidentally have with both bowers and patrick. lucky me. i sat two desks up and diagonal from both of them, each on either side. it was the second to last month of school, and we were finishing our human anatomy unit.

i was zoned out, listening to the droning, buzzing sound of our teacher's voice. at the feeling of a crumpled ball of paper hitting my shoe, i came back down to earth, glancing over my shoulder at patrick, who had a grin on his face. i slowly reached down and picked up the crumpled note, opening it and reading it.

'you n me behind the school, 3;30. if youre late, pray you're fast enough to get home before i do. which you wont be. thanks little one.'

i let out a shaky sigh when i finished reading the note. then crumpled it back up and shoved a half assed thumbs up under my arm at him so i didnt have to turn around and look at his face.

my hands got clammy as people started to pack up their backpacks, and i felt myself getting a headache as the bell rang and students filed out of the school. patrick and henry sauntered past me, and patrick let his fingers slideeee across the surface of my desk.. like a warning. jesus.

i took a deep breath, preparing myself for what i had in mind about putting a stop to this shit. i held my pen in my hand, in case i needed to use it as a shank.

as i rounded the corner to the back of the school, i saw patrick leaning against a tree, twirling a stick in his fingers. i cleared my throat and anxiously kept walking towards him. he watched me walk halfway towards him, then he pushed himself off the tree and walked to stand uncomfortably close to me.

'what do you want patrick.. '

he scoffed and started walking around me. 'what do i want? well theres a lot of things i want from you.. if youre offering-' he chuckled near my ear, and i could feel him twirling a piece of my hair in his fingers.

i think that was the moment he drove me crazy. i elbowed him in the ribs and spun around, backing away. i could tell i was gonna cry, either out of anger or fear, but there were tears pooling in my eyes.

'im fucking done. what do WANT from me?? I have done NOTHING to deserve this, and yet you still humiliate me, and terrorize me every day. is this really about fifth grade?? because i feel like thats been repaid for a good four years. what do you get from this? do you get off on making my life miserable like some weird perv?? GOD hocksetter im done! im fucking finished! ill have to kill myself before you'll let me live!' i cried, pacing and screaming at him.

i stopped to catch my breath. he looked shocked for a slight second, and then his face went back its natural smirk. he paced towards me, grabbing my face with his hand, squishing my face.

'you sweet little thing. it is repaid. its been repaid for a while. you just intrigue me so much.. i couldn't possibly stop humiliating you.. you're too infatuating.' he stared at every detail of my face, almost mapping it, before he shoved my face away from his hand. he went right back to circling me again.

'yknow.. it was never really about scaring you. i mean of course i enjoyed that part, you're absolutely hilarious to terrorize.'

i almost laughed in disbelief. ive been going through this all for his shits and giggles. what the fuck is wrong with him.

'it really started wayyyy before fifth grade. it was probably around third grade that i noticed you. i think it was when you were in the school concert... i realized how much you stuck out from all the other kids you were singing with.. and i just became infatuated. i think youre real. like me.'

what the fuck is he talking about?? real? of course im real.. what is going on?

he was walking towards me again, and i stumbled a few steps back until my back hit the hot brick wall and i felt suffocated when i realized.

im afraid of you.

'i dont want to be afraid of you anymore. please. patrick please stop doing this to me.' i pleaded, willing the tears back.

he leaned in closer, if possible, pressing me against the wall. i felt him inhale against my scalp, and for a minute, i felt the wind stop blowing and the birds stop chirping, and i could only feel my heartbeat in my ears and could only smell the sweat and bodyspray that came off of him.

then he backed up, pulled his hands off my shoulders, and stepped away. "go. im not done, but you're done being terrorized."

i shuddered. praying he wasn't lying. i slowly turned my back and started walking away, when i heard him call after me.

'hey. just so you know, youre mine. so youre safe for now. but youre still mine. some things are staying the same. go home.'

i turned around again and started walking home, going over what had just happened. on repeat again and again. what did he mean? im real? of course im real..

what the fuck just happened.

ok so i think that was good.. and im done now so thank you sunshine!

-junie