#IF ANYTHING SEEMS A BIT WEIRD OR LIKE A PARAGRAPH HAPPENS TO SEEM OUT OF PLACE I APOLOGIZE I HAD TO COPY THE WHOLE THING AROUND A FEW TIMES

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEYYYYYYY WDYMMMMMMMMMMM SUGU SELFSHIP??????? MISU???????????? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I CRIED . IT’S SO CUTW I NEED TO MARRY YOU BOTH!!!!!! holding both your hands so very gently………….

cracks knuckles . anyway i have some questions 😇 how does suguru show you that he loves you? (through words or otherwise?) and how do you show him that you love him?? :3 do you have any pets? any regular date spots???

ALSO . which of his clothes do you like to steal most……. i know you steal them it’s okay we all do. it’s a sugu selfship staple . he’ll just have to deal with it bc he loves us <33333

ARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII:333333333333333333333 EEEEHEHHEHEHEE THIS IS SOOO FUCKING EXCITINGGGG MISU IS FINALLY HEREE!!!! i am already letting you know that this uhh.. will be long lmao get something to drink get something to eat and enjooyy:333

okok so first things first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like i already spilled to you in dms - this is a little college roomie au okay. just a little 20something mickey and just a little 20something suguru suffering from sleepless nights together<33333 i am one hundred percent going with the literature major suguru bc oh my god that feels just so so fucking right. he also has a part-time job at a little bookstore/cafe place!!!! i often hang out there too just bc it's such a cozy little spot,, there isn't too many people and he gets to put on his own playlist!!!!

i think (saying this abt my own alleged relationship btw) we're not actually a couple yet yk?? there's just a lot going on overall aaand so we just do what feels comfortable. we're very very close!!!!!!!!!! liike i often sleep in his bed bc i sleep better when i do it with someone/ around someone. and this btw makes me feel kinda bad bc he still can't sleep.. i like to think that he might catch just a few more zzz's with me there but ahhh.. he tells me that he does too but he really isn't the best liar.

oh my sad little meow meow:((((( this is literally him but yk add a few years

ok anyway so yesterday when i was thinking about what exactly misu is the miguel series popped into my head. it's called rigor mortis and it's done by the lovely @/loganlermanstanaccount!!! i'm not basing misu off of that i genuinely think they're kind of two sides of the same coin if that makes sense. to put it shortly the series is abt a reader who is going through a very hard breakup and miguel who is dealing with grief. they're both clearly going through things but that's kind of what makes them bond and that's what connects them. i know your tbr is long too and you have stuff to do so i'll just pluck out a snippet for you because the writing is just fucking incredible. i was literally up every wednesday to read the new parts lmao this series was also one of the things that inspired me the most

this is a snippet from the third part - they were here, she says (sorry i had to take screenshots bc tumblr quite literally just didn't allow me to type it all out smhh)

this is just really reminds me of suguru. sorry this really is a lot lmao imagine asking abt a selfship and getting a novel back about something different pls this is the loserville way okay. but yeah i just think it goes really well with my little roomie suguru (and me i guess). different types of grief but somehow it's all the same.

AAANYWAYY NOW TO YOUR ACTUAL QUESTIONS😭😭😭 a romantic relation ship or not.. suguru let's me know he cares through acts of service!!!!!! like grocery shopping and just getting me a little treat every time he goes out yk? i mean overall we both do the laundry together but he just gets to it faster than i do,, he takes care of my clothes and his without a second thought. he really is a malewife through and through damn...

and i show my appreciation by being a little clingy. HEARRR ME OUTTTTTTT LISTEN LISTEN LISTENNNNNNN though he likes to act all tough and shit (smhhh) we all know he likes the attention. and he's so used to satoru being clingy too (btw oh my god mitoru as best friends<333333333333) so when i kind of follow him around too, he feels more like at home yk? it's not necessarily even physical touch, at least not at first but just that i keep sitting in the same room with him. kind of like parallel play. i think he really likes the company even if it's just the two of us sitting in silence. liiike he's having a smoke by the window in his room while i'm idk scrolling on tumblr on his bed and it just feels very comfortable.

another love language of ours is listening to music together. i think while yes i listen to a lot of pop too, our tastes are very similar. so taking the public transport while standing side by side while sharing earbuds is very typical for us<333

WAIT ALSOOOOO i am always always always here for turtleneck suguru but.. i think in my head..... this!!!!!!!!!! like eeeespecially the blue jacket one ohhhhh this piece of art has changeeed mee i literally cannot stop thinking about it i really really love the idea of this mm like streetwear type of suguru??? is that what you'd call it idk i'm bad with labels but yeah this is misu's suguru<333333 ari i love him sm he's so boyfriend i mean roomie. oh god wait i have more to say,, his style is soooo so versatile though!!!!!!!! bc while overall i kinda imagine him wearing hoodies (i am. biased), he still does really like turtlenecks. and he has his fair share of long coats. ahhhh he likes to switch it up a lot!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S SO STYLISH I'M SO JEALOUS HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD NO MATTER WHAT HE WEARS THIS IS SO UNFAIRR!!!!!!!!

on the topic of clothes!!!!!!!!! i steal his hoodies>:3333333 constantly. i can't really wear sweaters so those are safe from me but oh... the second i spot a hoodie of his... mwahahaha it is mine now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE SOOOO FUCKING COMFORTABLEEEEE WHAT THE FUCKKKK AND THEY SMELL SO FUCKING GOOOODDD LIKE I THINK I'M GENUINELY ADDICTED TO WEARING THEMM AAAAAA and yes just like in your little snippet.. he does kind of lose his mind when he seems me in one>:33333333333

SHRIMPMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER HOW I TOLD U EARLIER THAT I LEAVE HIM OUT OF IT BC I JUST GET TOO SAD AT THE THOUGHT OF LEAVING HIM ALONE AT HOME?? BUT NOW ME AND SUGURU LIVE TOGETHER ANYWAY WHICH MEANS.. THAT I DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE HIM ALONE WHICH MEANS THAT SHRIMPIN IS CANON IN THE MISU UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA this is so exciting. he loves suguru so much. and sugu finds it so funny when i try to act like that doesn't bother me😒😒😒 and every time i let the little beast gnaw on my hand (he is feral.) suguru scolds me and it's uhh kind of hot ngl like he comes over to make shrimp stop while grabbing my wrist and taking my hand away yeah i die a little every time i won't even lie

now... since....... i am on a roll (rip ari)............. i definitely fall faster btw. uhm like stupidly fast but i don't think anyone is surprised here..... but idk he's just a little bit scary in a way that i just simply could never make the first move...................................... he's literally just so handsome and so great i feel weak okay don't judge me (i know you understand) buuuuut i don't think he'd actually take too long to mmm grow fond of me either.. he is not as strong as he thinks he is.

i also need to talk about mitoru as best friend i just have to. mitoru is always meant to be no matter what universe okay we are Connected. he comes over SOOOOOOOOOOO OFTENNN he almost lives here too lmao we play video games together a lot<33333333 and suguru does get a little jealous<333333333333 he's so cute. satoru makes so much fun of him btw and i try to.. not think too much abt it or else my heart will explode.

OKAY WAHH I THINK NOW IS ENOUGH THOUGH. ENOUGH OF BLABBERING ON LMAO PLSS MISU JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE ACTUALLY I KIND OF DO FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT MAKING THIS INTO A THING SOONERR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INDULGING ME AS ALWAYS ARI!!!!! IT LITERALLY MEANS SOOO SO MUCH TO MEEE AND THANK YOU FOR READING THROUGH ALL THIS😭😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE YOU SOOOSO MUCH I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING SUCH A LOVELY DAY PLEASE REMEMBER TO EAT AND DRINK WATER AND REST!!!!!!!!! PLEASE SMILE LOTS N LOTS N LOTS AND PLEASE REMEMBER THAT MISU LOVES YOU SOOOO SO SOOOOOO FUCKING BADD<3333333

[after-hours-in-the-library]

Guess I got to start this blog somewhere

How would they react to waking up with a boner next to you 

For some reason I can't really write lighthearted things for Alan, sigh

Not really nsfw but kinda suggestive?

If earth could swallow them they would accept it in a heartbeat. 

Poor sweet Kaito is the first one I think that would accidentally get too excited to be sleeping next to his SO and get hard. He is already suffering, don't look at him disgusted, he WILL cry.

Luca is startled like it's the first time happening, apologizing for putting you in an awkward situation. Pat his shoulder and tell him it's alright.

Alan still has some kind of complex of seeing himself as too worn out, a killer and a criminal, and in contrast seeing his partner in a much better light. When he gets hard while sleeping together he almost feels like when he is cleaned the blood off of his fists after an underground fight, whatever rag he grabbed now tainted too.

Sweet baby Subaru feels oh, so bad at the slightest feeling he might be imposing himself on you at any point, be it date plans, shared activities or what to eat for dinner. He removes himself out of the  situation and sends a three paragraph long text apologizing and understanding if you want to break up and not see him anymore.

Doesn't make a big deal out it if you don't react badly

Sho reads books, even if it doesn't look like it, and knows that morning wood usually doesn't happen because of sexual stimuli. Sho also gets a bit bashful at having woken next to you like that, tsk-ing at your teases while he looks away.

‘boys are just like that' Haku might cover with a pillow if you feel uncomfortable or awkward but he will be cracking jokes about the situation to lighten up the mood.

Is like ‘whatever’ and doesn't do anything to hide it

Jin, as nonchalant as ever, doesn't think much about it, he might go to the bathroom and fix his problem if you fuss a bit but otherwise he will stay lying down listening to music.

Towa is a free spirit and rarely cares about morals or common decency, doing as he pleases most of the time, it's no wonder he looks curious when you get surprised at the tent in his pants.

Ed decides it isn't that big of a deal, when you live for so long some insecurities and things you get embarrassed about start mattering less and less. 

Even if Subaru did his best teaching him, Lyca doesn't understand many human sensibilities, like not smelling people or yelling when someone talks smack, it's no wonder he almost seems surprised at your reaction 

Makes you feel like you are the weird one for even noticing 

Leo, the little bitch he always is, will find a way to make it awkward, be it saying you are a perv for looking far down to accuse you of planning it.

Ren is a somewhat mixed case bc on one hand he makes you feel like the weirdo ‘why are you so interested in my groin. Sexual harassment’ but on the other he is internally crying at how awkward it's.

Good luck even getting into that situation 

If you think you can catch Thoma off guard nice try —at least so early into the relationship— he prides himself in being able to act the part of a gentleman so even if it happened you wouldn't wake up or even notice.

Haru is too tired, too busy and doesn't have enough time to cuddle with you to sleep.

Can Zenji even get an erection?

Good luck getting Rui comfortable enough with getting close to sleep next to each other.

[pixiecactus]

I personally think Arya fell first but Gendry fell harder if the 5 year time skip did happen but I want to hear your thoughts 👀

omg, thank you nonnie for enabling my yapping in written form!!

honestly for me, it’s the complete opposite of your opinion, so i think we can agree to disagree on this one. and if it isn’t a problem for you i’d love to read your own thoughts about gendrya and how you see their dynamic as well!!

you can skip the paragraph in italic if you want since it’s just me explaining how my personal experiences shaped my opinion of why i don’t like that certain dynamic between them.

first i have to admit that i hate the cliche of a little girl having a crush on an older boy, which it’s the change the show did to their dynamic, mostly because it is a kind of “been there, done that” situation for me, i truly was a 11 year old little girl with a crush on a 14 year old boy once (which it was a little weird because i was taller than him and his friend group bullied me until i had enough of it and i decided to cut ties and ghosted them in real life) nothing happened between us until 10 years later when we meet again and suddenly it seemed like he was interested in me (does it reminds you a little bit of the show!gendrya storyline?) but hey, a compulsory heterosexuality decision of mine later i will say that even if i don’t hold any love for show!arya i will always defend her choice of not staying with show!gendry and leaving on her own merry way if the character actually felt like she wasn’t looking for anything serious… what i mean is that from what i saw, people were actually hating on her because of the belief that since show!gendry reciprocates now the romantic feelings she felt in the past, she actually owes him something and that certainly touches a nerve for me… but let’s be honest, with the show pairing it was mostly bad written characters and bad writing in general.

now let me get to explaining why i do believe that gendry is the first of the two to realize his feelings for arya went something beyond friendship before they got separated:

remember that time when gendry told arya that he knew she was a girl and he was mocking her for the cock she didn't have… yeah, i know it sounds weird to bring this as evidence but hear me out. i want to give this moment a little deeper meaning that gendry being just a boy. 

“That’s true. I don’t know why Yoren brought you, but he must have had some reason. You’re still a girl.” “I am not!” “Then pull out your cock and take a piss. Go on.” “I don’t need to take a piss. If I wanted to I could.” “Liar. You can’t take out your cock because you don’t have one. I never noticed before when there were thirty of us, but you always go off in the woods to make your water. You don’t see Hot Pie doing that, nor me neither. If you’re not a girl, you must be some eunuch.” “You’re the eunuch.” “You know I’m not.” Gendry smiled. “You want me to take out my cock and prove it? I don’t have anything to hide.”

i wouldn’t dare to say that gendry is trying to flirt here, absolutely not. but i do see a change of tone in that last sentence, the mocking tone doesn’t come as strong as it was before. of course it just could be gendry being a little shit (i love these moments when we see that he is a child just like arya) now what i also think it’s important in this moment shared between the two of them is that gendry is the one going out of his way to establish a deeper friendship between the two, he’s saying: “look i know your secret and at least around me you don’t have to pretend anymore” and if we mix that with the fact he wanted to leave the others behind and start traveling/surviving only with arya, it feels to me (i may be reading too much into it) like gendry could imagine a future with the two of them living side by side, and if someday after years along the way their friendship changed into a romantic relationship he could see his future self welcoming that change with open arms. and that line of thought comes crashing down for him when he learns that arya is a highborn lady and he knows now that there is a big difference in social standing between the two of them.

i believe that gendry started to crush on arya after escaping harrenhal, sometimes it is obvious that hot pie is pretty much the dead weight of their little group. and we see that in asos when it is just the three of them traveling around the riverlands that arya and gendry simply connect with each other in a way where words aren’t needed between them. gendry becomes arya's most trusted friend and a sort of unofficial right hand man (boy?) arya has always been friendly with people no matter their social standing, so i don’t think gendry gets special treatment from arya but gendry who seems to dislike most people that he meets, he certainly gives special treatment to arya and no one else.

i guess i forgot to say that a headcanon that i will stand behind is that for me, gendry was younger than dany in agot, so i think of him being a 12 year old in that book and i think of him being a 14 year old the last time we see him in affc, so the age difference i see between gendrya is less than the five years we already know. it’s strange i know, when i go back to read agot again we have tobho saying that gendry is big for his age (something i’m personal with because it was the same for me and people always thought i was at least 3 years older than my real age) then we go reading gendry in acok and he seems and sounds like he is just a few months from becoming a “man grown” and already sporting a thick beard. next we have asos where gendry acts more childish and is referred to as only a boy by the men of the bwb at the peach. and it looks to me as grrm started to realize that the five year skip wouldn’t be possible and started to hit the brakes in gendry actually getting older and our boy’s last appearance is in affc where brienne sees him and you guessed it, he’s still a boy with a boy’s voice so it seems like gendry was younger than what people assumed all along (?)

in asos the jealousy goes both ways. gendry seems to dislike the pure fact that someone like edric dayne even exists and that this boy dares to be friendly to arya. and our girl arya holds the lie that gendry told her about him and bella at the peach against him even after months of happening. asos give us precious moments as well, gendry seeing arya wearing a dress for the first time and our dearly beloved acorn hall, and the moment they share in the forge of acorn hall just strengthen my belief that gendry is a boy with his first crush and he's completely smitten with the girl that he likes, he compliments her and when she’s very cross with him because arya simply doesn’t believe anyone other than jon or/and her father would ever compliment her appearance, he does anything (tickling her) so he can make her laugh… it’s messy, both of them are kids that don’t know how to deal with this type of feelings and i love to see it.

i have written before about how people always depict arya as angry at gendry for abandoning her, which it’s the way that arya believes things happened back then and i have a bone to pick with that headcanon, because yeah we read arya lashing in anger at gendry with a “go and get killed why should i have to care” but honestly that’s it. arya is just hurt about his decision and can’t bring herself to understand why after everything they have gone through together gendry would choose to leave her. because she sees gendry as her equal not as someone who is way below her in a social ranking. now it’s telling to me that when arya thinks of gendry after separating she quickly tries to change her line of thought and when she remembers him is mostly the gendry that spent time with her in harrenhal, when gendry’s friendship and loyalty was still a given for her. i’m paraphrasing here but in one her chapters we see something along the lines “i was stupid thinking that gendry and hot pie wanted to be my friends and part of my pack” arya’s self esteem issues run deep (and personally i think we could add abandonment issues to that mix) that i can see her blindly believing she is unwanted without a second thought (unless that second thought actually is someone called jon snow) i’m putting all my hopes in arya having a possible apprenticeship with courtesans that results in arya gaining confidence in herself and her looks because she was never ugly to begin with.

that brings me to how i imagine they would react if they met again after five years without seeing each other. firstly, i think that someone, anyone really would have to tell gendry to close his gaping mouth, because there she is, his first friend and a girl he has long thought dead a few meters away from his own living body. i see gendry feeling like hope is entering his life again (i never touched upon this idea before in this post but i do see that arya for gendry is a sort of beacon of hope for better things, a better future, etc) and yeah, gendry’s previous crush on arya comes back with a vengeance, i think that losing arya really did a number on gendry’s psyche and after reuniting i see him without a doubt being ride or die for arya stark (pledging his sword to her, maybe) and if gendry liked arya when she was dirty, hungry, tired and with a bad haircut after another bad haircut, gendry doesn’t stand a chance now to deny his own feelings anymore.

when trying to imagine arya’s reaction i can’t help but think that she’d be the most reserved of the two. i couldn’t see her being open to rekindling a past friendship that contains the possibility of being emotionally hurt by him again at first. after all, in arya's mind, gendry was the one to abandon her and the one who didn’t want to be her friend anymore. i’m not saying that gendry would have to grovel at her feet but i think that regaining arya’s trust will take time for sure. now, i can’t get out of my head the idea of arya recognizing that gendry is attracted to her by observing him with the knowledge she has learned back in braavos, but at the same time she is desperately searching for excuses to not confront that reality. also there’s the fact that we could see that arya liked looking at gendry, with her always noticing his deep blue eyes and the thick black hair that fell in between them, how his muscles moved and how strong she deemed him to be, of course arya didn’t make anything of this back then because she was just a child and obviously it flew over her head, i just like the thought that someday after spending time getting reacquainted with one another the realization it will come all crashing down on arya like oh… oh…

to end this, i also want to add that i feel i’m like one of five people in the whole world that believes that gendry would be the virgin one instead of arya if things were to go that way in the books with the five year skip added.

also as a thank you for putting with my nonsense have this screenie of my gendrya s!ms!!

[thickenmyblood]

Hi Maca, I hope you can answer my question about Damen’s previous love-sex life before Laurent.

I remember, there is this paragraph where is revealed that Damen came out while he was in college but only is reveled that he likes men, nothing specific about his sex experiences or anything.

“…He never really told them he liked men, the way Damen did, simply making out with a first-year guy in one of those college parties Nikandros used to drag them to. They had all thought it was a one-time thing, that it was the alcohol and the excitement of having passed his exams. Apparently, they were wrong.”

And now in chapter 19 I think its revealed that Damen was clueless or so ignorant about Laurents habits and whatever related to sex with men, and that make wonder if you could explain or give more details about Damen previous experiences.

I know you have stated in the same chapter these lines.

“He always has, ever since he got that first handjob halfway into being fourteen, through all the awkward and quick first times, through all the new awkward and quick first times with guys...”

but it seems that he was not very experienced and only had “firsts times.” with no further experiences to gain more understandings or to learn the basics mechanics.

Maybe I’m misinterpreting the paragraphs since English is not my native language, if that’s the case, please forgive, because you are a terrific writer, and the mistake is mine.

Any way thanks for your time and one more question, the books that Damen had read to understand Laurents and Nicaise behavior and trauma really exists or are based in real ones…

Thanks again for your time. And thanks for this fiction it’s really well written, engaging, you have the ability to capture your reader's emotions and imagination.

Ju_Katze.

hello!!! sorry for the late reply.

in hiuh, damen has had sex with men before laurent, but as you pointed out they were all "first times" in the sense that it was just hooking up (also, that quote is referencing things like "first time getting a blowjob from a guy, first time giving head yourself, first time fucking a guy".) you don't necessarily talk to a one-night stand about things like douching or prepping or the weird and toxic culture around not eating pre-sex that some people participate in. damen isn't stupid, but he is oblivious and ignorant about many things in this fic, and he doesn't really notice things (anything?) that escape the bubble of his comfort and experience (other examples include "the help" or waiters at restaurants and coffee shops, mental health issues, health issues in general like IBS or Celiac's, etc.)

additionally, you could use this bit of backstory to read how and why damen dating laurent was such a fundamental shift in his life and, especially, his friendships. we know nikandros has never liked laurent, and we know why, but it's also possible that nikandros and the entire friend group (aktis and elon, specifically) were not exactly bothered by damen "coming out" as bi because they saw it as a phase or as a sex-only thing. having casual sex with men is not the same as being in a committed relationship with one. which is why when laurent and damen break up, nikandros's options for damen are always women. i also think it's interesting that damen only considered dating a man seriously after his father was dead.

as for details about damen's previous experiences, they're not part of the story so they're not "canon", but I always imagined hiuh damen to be, essentially, a fuckboy (affectionate). he likes sex, he likes boys and girls, he likes other people knowing that he's good at things (and that includes sex). i like the idea that he started having sex when he was young (14) but that unlike what happened to laurent, it wasn't traumatic or weird or bad. that's why I liked the phrase "awkward and quick first times". that's usually the case with first times: you don't know what you're doing, sometimes there's sneaking around involved so you have to be quick about it, you're excited so it is quick, etc. it's my personal headcanon that his previous partners have always been "discreet" in the way laurent is, which speaks more about damen's toxic masculinity than his real personal taste. even if it was just a one night stand, he could never fuck someone like ancel, who wears "more feminine" clothes, does his nails, is into makeup, is more open and vocal about his queerness, etc.

about the self-help books: i'd say 99% of them are not real, but they are based on real books that you can find online. i read the body keeps the score (very problematic) and a bunch of others (like, a few pages of healing the shame that binds you) but ultimately decided it was better to just stick to original things.

i hope this cleared things up for you!!! thank you for the cool questions!! and congrats on your english, it's very good!

[lawless-walrus]

NUCLEAR YAP

spoilers for S3E12 of midst

Weepe and Saskia’s relationship has occupied my damn brain space since inside, and their reunion has been my most anticipated event to happen in ANY media since we learned in breakfast that Saskia was going to the light with Harry. One little pet peeve I’ve had with not writing this sooner is seeing people be very reductive with what’s gonna happen, or even their relationship. Which is easy to fall into, considering weepe doesn’t seem to be anything other than an opalescent, weird, evil bastard when you shine a light on him. But just like his body, there are very dark things hiding within his character. And a big part of season 3 has been seeing those dark things finally begin to show. So let’s get inside these 2 characters heads fully and completely, to understand their relationship with eachother.

Both Saskia and weepe are mysterious characters at first, on the second episode the only thing we are sure of either of them is that they run the black candle, are criminals, and are a bit quirky. Concord is even initially taken aback by the funky dynamic they had. Let’s start with Saskia, who, for all that she has to hide, is much more clear to us as a character than Mr. Moc Weepe. She was the owner of the black candle cabaret, which weepe says in was kind of crappy when he first saw it, before he stepped in to help make it the very successful business it is. And she’s also a valorous trustee, which means she immigrated to midst from the Un before weepe did. She’s been in midst for a very long time. Infact, she was one of the first settlers of stationary hill back in 598. Judging that she’s in her early 40’s according to Sara in the tumblr AMA, Saskia would be at most 18 when she arrived at stationary hill, meaning that she has been a part of Stationary hill and midst for both the entirety of its life, and for the entirety of her adult life. She would die for this place. Twice. She’s been shown time and time again to be an idealist and someone who deeply cares about each and every member of this community. And that extends to Mr. Moc Weepe. To quote her in Coda “See, I told you! I promised I was gonna work on him.”. What this line implies is that upon arriving on stationary hill, people were quick to assume/realize that Moc Weepe is kind of a freak. He’s not someone anyone would like working at their place of business based on first impressions. But Saskia is an idealist, and partnered with weepe anyway. And he seems to have been a very good bet, as he has transformed the black candle cabaret into an enviable establishment across the cosmos. Weepe was an exceptional justification of her idealism.

Was.

Saskia was disappointed when Weepe betrayed her. Not shocked. Disappointed. She was so upset that the man she helped get better, the person who helped her in-turn turn the black candle cabaret into something special, someone who, like Saskia, had gotten involved in the community enough these last 6-7 years to earn the nickname the mayor of stationary hill, would fuck her and everything else over. She thought, hoped, he had changed. And Moc Weepe seems to believe in interest that he’s incapable of that. That he is a man who cannot do good. But moving beyond business partners for a second. In the quote I’m pulling from coda early on in the last paragraph, just before weepe mentions that Saskia really had to pull his leg to come on stage and sing with her. Which begs the question, why does she want to sing with him? An answer so easy it’s almost a no brainer to bring up. Saskia wanted to sing with weepe because she likes singing with weepe, because she cares about weepe. And weepe tore out her heart not just by betraying everyone, to the trust, but by proving Saskia wrong. That being patient with him, that loving him (whatever form that love may be), was an unwise decision. In episode 16 of season 2, she through away the nutcracker for 2 reasons. 1 to not give Meryl any hints that it was weepe or someone involved in the cabaret who killed Atticus (which she instantly realizes and suspects when she learns he is dead), and to remove any trace of weepe from her life. Helping that man may still be in the cards, Saskia isn’t a spiteful person. She could’ve killed weepe in the tearorr if she wanted to. She is still an idealist. But being close with him again. Him becoming a part of her life again. That is something she does not want. Unfortunately for her however. She is now in a city ruled by him, a fact that she brings up twice in episode 3x10. And yet she stays behind to help lark and Phineas. Even though she is determined to keep weepe out of her life. She will not run.

Moc Weepe was someone else once. Maybe we’ll never know who exactly that was. But we do know that he was the Baron of Fold Shallows before Kozma. He too would’ve been young when midst was founded. Quite young when he was put in a mica maiden and dropped into the fold abyss. A boy you could say. And ever since then, he has stated that the only thing keeping him together was the thought of seeing Kozma Lazlo again and turning her into a nice damp puddle. In interest, he states that midst was supposed to be a quick pit stop. But he ended up staying there instead. For up to 7 years. She made him stay. Weepe is an incredibly cynical person. Weepe has rarely a nice thing to say about any character he interacts with in the entire series. He has never, not even once, been interested in one of Imelda’s speeches about doing the right thing. And he has a very nihilistic attitude about doing what he has to to survive. But while he certainly took a radical business minded, capitalist, hustle grind mindset while running the black candle cabaret, he seemed to start doing more than just surviving. He accidentally made a home there. He stayed in one place for too long, and put down roots without meaning too (sound familiar Lark) He usually doesn’t give a shit about consequences, but he cared then. He cared about Saskia’s opinion of him. Because she believed in him. In the Arca chamber, in what he perceived to be potentially his final moments, he called out to her, as if in his deluded state, Saskia would be the one to save him from the other side. And in some ways she did. She gave him a place to stay, a business partnership, an opportunity to do good. And he was doing it.

Despite what weepe says about that he would’ve fucked the black candle over later if he didn’t do it now, he didn’t fuck the black candle cabaret over for 4 years. In fact, when it was raided, it was in the best state it had ever been in. And when he ran out of the cabaret with only his medical case, he almost cried because he was leaving her and this wonderful place behind for good.

Weepe is now tripotentiary, and has killed Kozma Lazlo. He is the richest person in the entire cosmos. And yet Saskia Del Norma still keeps coming up, even though she is not there. In his mind and everyone else around him, she is gone forever. He left her, and she will never come back. We’ve talked before how cult psychology works best without other relationships outside the cult. Weepe only became forced to be a trustee because the islet of midst, the black candle cabaret, and Saskia del Norma, are all gone forever to him. He has no one but Imelda (who is a whole can of worms I’ll get into some other day). And like Saskia, we get to contrasting reactions from weepe about the other. When weepe is dying in the Arca chamber, he reaches out to Saskia. When he’s at his lowest, when all is lost, he turns to the one person who believed in and cared about him. But when he’s reminded of her or the ruin of midst, like in episode 5 and 12 of season 3, he gets anxious, and steers the conversation elsewhere, rather aggressively in interest. He physically reacts to both times it’s brought up. In his new life as leader of the trust, as that old him who ruled over a vast number of islets with an ironfist, that opportunity he once had to be a good person in his and others eyes makes him very uncomfortable. He doesn’t want that reminder of when his cynicism weakened, the reminder that he gave up on being good, to come with him into his life as Baron again. But, in inside he still called to Saskia in that chamber. And he doesn’t know she’s alive. He doesn’t know that the person who once cared for him is in the light right now. And if he meets her, if he sees that she is there and real, he will not run.

(I’m still working on my essay for Imelda, I’ve been working on it for 2 weeks.)

[dayscapism]

My Thoughts on the Percy Jackson TV Show (was not a fan):

Months have passed but, I guess I like to throw wood to embers to make fires again. Honestly, I would have abandoned it after episode 3 if it weren't one of my favourite book series ever and I wanted so bad to be hopeful and pleasantly surprised.

I don't think it's a terrible adaptation, but I think it's boring, badly edited, with character inconsistencies, has first-draft-level writing and just missed potential. I'm happy it's been working for so many others, but I've also seen a lot of people being so reluctant to negatively criticise anything about it. Which is weird, it makes me feel like we're watching two different shows and I'm the problem (am I the drama? perhaps. I don't care.)

It's not been an easy time to watch for me; it's a sustained, painful, physical effort to pay attention to this show, especially during dialogue scenes. Like how do you make a show about a bunch of ADHD kids and make it so NOT ADHD-friendly to watch?? (The writers and editors should watch EEAAO, that's how an ADHD brain approaches visual media). The pacing, the terrible exposition, it's the static and uninteresting camera work, the lack of a campy hyping music/soundtrack, the lack of stylization, the lazy editing, the actors stopping to chat in a static shot every other minute, no running during urgent situations, etc. Nothing is engaging! It's such a boring show! There's always exactly 1 thing happening on screen and nothing else around it, no hidden meanings, no mystery, nothing that could be layered storytelling, which is such an important thing in a TV show where you only have 8 episodes to tell your story! Spekaing of, ADHD and dyslexia don't seem to be shown or discussed again after it's mentioned that Percy has has it in episodes 1-2. I was hoping for bolder representation with that. (Why didn't they include the little dialogue where neither Percy of Annabeth can't figure out the sign at the emporium because of dyslexia, and Grover has to tell them! These little moments count so much for representation of this kind.)

The dialogue paired with the pacing/humour is not landing. It truly feels unpolished, like a first draft. Like technically it serves its purpose, but it's an ineffective, unengaging manner to write a tv script. They should have done more flashbacks too, to give context and exposition. But instead, everything is given to us like you would in a book. (And this is coming from someone who read the books years ago so I NEED this exposition because I don't remember a lot of details, but the exposition isn't even helpful and the writing doesn't keep me engaged enough for me to even pay attention to the exposition!) The actors are doing the best with the material they have, they're all really precious, but this writing and directing is hurting their acting so bad. The dialogue and scenes are so awkward, which hurts the chemistry between the characters too (I expand on my issues with the characters later).

A lot of the tone and pacing issues could just be a book-to-tv adaptation thing because we're no longer in Percy's head with his funny sarcastic remarks and long paragraphs that can give us context. But then why didn't they include narration? Why didn't they keep it up after the intro in episode 1?? Why did they even include that bit if they weren't going to keep it up?? We have 4th-wall narration in lots of things these days (from the top of my head, Fleabag and Deadpool), usually done for comedic and style effect. This would help so much with the pacing and tone! the lost potential is so frustrating. Many movies/shows don't need narration; this one could have benefitted so much from it.

The show is not funny whatsoever when the books are hilarious. At no point did I laugh out loud here. Such a crime. I hate to be one of THOSE but the movies at least got the unserious and funny beats right. Like why is the music in this show just an epic forgettable MCU-like soundtrack but with a serious tone? Why didn't they include modern or campy songs? They should have taken clues from the Umbrella Academy's first seasons. And they could have included Greek music in it too! How could would that have been? It's not a bad soundtrack by any means, but if nothing else is used in a very strange manner in some scenes because it sometimes cuts the action or doesn't match the energy or vibe of the scenes. The visuals and settings are pretty good, I admit, but these are underserviced by the entire production's lack of style and music and tone are a big part of that.

Some people have said the action scenes are bad, but I feel the problem is there's no sense of urgency, of danger (no layered storytelling here either). The fights with the monsters are okay, great even, the problem is this lack of excitement. The problem is the setups to the action: the lack of tension and then rushed resolutions. For example, they dragged the scenes with Medusa and Equidna talking that it lost all suspense. Equidna literally says instead of just jumping to it, showing what she would do to them kids. (Ok the chimera is cool tho, looks really cool. I want it as a pet 😊 And the editing when Percy falls from the arch is pretty cool too, rare exception.)

But most feels so underwhelming. These kids should also be running everywhere, not calmy walking (bad directing!) This makes the monsters not feel as menacing, because they always have time for a calm exposition break long conversations in the middle of what are supposed to be life-or-death encounters with ancient Greek monsters. And mind you, these pauses for conversation aren't even layered, they're often shot with a static camera, with dull dialogue no 12 yo would speak. They could be having these conversations while running, while hiding, while doing something else! Mix dialogue and action! Layered storytelling, it's about themes and characters but also about how you present the scenes themselves.

An adjacent problem is also the actualization of the myths for a modern audience is a bit surface-level (like with Medusa). They could have done so much more here.

Now, issues with characterization:

Characters can really make or break a story. Here we have a lot of character inconsistencies, or rather, a lack of definition of the characters. It's not about the show being exactly accurate to the book here, it's the show wasting perfectly good character and plot moments from the show, while not being true to tone and to the core of the characters. Change in adaptations can be good, to consolidate or make things clearer and work for the new medium, but they character work here was very ineffective and inefficient.

Percy is supposed to be cunning, smart but not knowledgeable about the Greek world. The show has this being reversed many times. Grover is perceptive and has more life experience but he is reduced to nothing. Like I'm wondering why is he even here? Also, Annabeth and Percy get sincere with each other really quickly after like 1 day of knowing each other, no layered storytelling or emotional reactions to them baring their deepest fears and darkest backstories either. (Poor kids are doing their best with mediocre adaptation, though Walker is carrying the show at this point, tbh.)

And Annabeth... Oh. Annabeth is a hard character to portray and write, tbh, it's easy to make her unlikable and straightforward, can very easily come off as annoying, pedantic perhaps, though I am all for unlikeable female heroines. But this is such a baffling iteration of her character. She comes off as a stalker in the first episodes, then she's bossy yet she doesn't seem to actually plan or have good strategies (all is deferred to Percy really), then she sort of uses "the power of friendship" to resolve things but never her growing wisdom in too. Yes, she could be weird and caring and smart but they didn't nailed any of those traits. But my biggest gripe is that they didn't make Annabeth nerdy enough! Annabeth recalls a lot of facts during the show to look smart I suppose, but she rarely gets to problem solve or truly nerd out neurodivergent kid style, which I think is a huge missed opportunity.

An example, which might be very niche but it shows mu issue with her characterization and I have to talk about it cause I'm a physics nerd (literally, it's my major), the part in the ST Louis Arch in episode 4 where she tells Percy and Grover stuff about the construction is so... basic. Like she just read it out of a tourist pamphlet or something. She just says how tall and wide the arch is and that it's symmetrical. That's it. Right...

Why didn't she mention what type of arch it is?? (A catenary arch, more specifically one that follows a weighted catenary curve. It isn't just held by "symmetry" it's tension! It's cool math!) Maybe she even mentions that it's a hyperbolic function and Percy and Grover can be like omg what are you even talking about, and she keeps going on and on about calculus and architecture, like a neurodivergent kid would about their interests. I mean, sure she's like 12, but she's supposed to be like a gifted kid, daughter of Athena, right? She probably knows some of the science and engineering behind the arch. Missed opportunity. Or maybe it's just that I see so much of myself in Annabeth and it hits too close when they can't make her justice. Idk. Like having a true nerdy, brilliant, neurodivergent, bossy but caring, black Annabeth would have been amazing. I guess the world wasn't ready for that.

This was episode 4 and the episodes are getting better...

Annabeth and Luke's relationship also suffers a lot from telling and no showing. Why don't we have flashbacks?? Such a missed opportunity for a show. As a rule, showing isn't superior to telling, but these two techniques need to be balanced in the writing, they can be combined too to serve the story during a specific scene or passage. In this case, telling was the wrong way.

For Luke, if they want his arc to have the emotional hit it has in the book, they really needed to build his character more and give him more screen time! Which could have been done with flashbacks. Because with Annabeth's stoic acting, too, we don't really get the emotional reactions appropriate to the events she recounts. So how are we going to feel with the betrayal since the relationship hasn't been built strongly so far? Nothing. We'll feel nothing.

Annabeth's actress is doing her best with what she's given she portrays her like she's in a Disney Channel kids sitcom from the 90s, deadpan but snarky, which is not a flavour of acting that helps this adaptation. This might be a larger directing issue, though, because Percy barely reacts when he sees his mother "die" in front of him.

Anyway, Flashbacks and narration could have saved this series alone, tbh. We don't even know how Thalia looks like! How are we gonna know it's her at the end of the book with the fleece reveal??

Ok, disclaimer, I didn't finish the show. I got distracted and bored and couldn't be bothered. I think I stopped after the Underworld episode (episode 7 I think.) I couldn't be bothered to watch the finale even with Toby Stephens in it. That's how enthusiastic I am about this.

Also a bit of a nitpick but why isn't it explained why are Percy and Sally are stuck with Gabe in the first place? About his scent? Why is the abuse so... sanitized too? Like yeah, we could have a more psychological and verbal form of abuse situation, of course, but we also didn't get that? Gabe was just unpleasant and a bit of a jerk, pathetic, but that was basically all. Also, no explanation for the blue food?? When it's such insight into Percy's relationship with his mom?? So much EXPOSITION in this series yet they missed many of the important parts!

Disney watered down Sally too. They really did. Her makeup is nice though.

So... yeah, they could be doing so much more with all the characters.

Concluding thoughts:

I don't hate the show (the visuals are great and Walker Scobell's acting is amazing, such a young talent!), but every time I finish watching an episode, I'm just bored and underwhelmed and wished I had done something else with my time.

I know it's frustrating that in previous decades usually had 20+ episodes, plus season 1 and 2 being shot side by side so we didn't even have to wait and fear of cancellation after so little; shows really don't have to be perfect from season 1, they need room to grow, but they have to have SOMETHING to pull the viewer in from the beginning, to make them stay. Anything! This show is giving me nothing to work with. I do hope the show gets better in season 2, and I understand that the 8-episode-season model is a constraint for writers, but I still think it could have done much better with the resources it did have.

For example, Black Sails had an infamous first season, but then it grew to be what imo is the best show ever put to TV. And yes, it took a while for it to find its perfect footing, but it was like a delicious cake that maybe has some bad frosting but the foundation is there, it just needs polishing and a few changes. But this PJO show doesn't live up to its potential and it's just so frustrating because I wanted to love this show so much but I'm finding it difficult to think of anything that I truly loved about it other than Walker Scobell's acting and course Toby Stephens (but I already love him from his previous work so it hardly counts).

Honestly, I'm a little bit tired of discourse going around saying that critiquing a show from season 1 is not acceptable because the show hasn't finished growing and we want a second season, we don't want the criticism to affect a season 2. But this is irrelevant and that's not how media criticism works. People can get very on board with good shoes from 1 season alone. That's no excuse. There are genuinely good book adaptations out there that make changes for the better and get a good foothold from the get-go! Look at Lockwood & Co, OPLA or Anne with an E. It can totally be done. The criticisms we have are precisely because we love the books, because we wanted this adaptation to succeed, because we wanted to love it, but it disappointed us. And we are allowed to voice that, as long as is done in good faith.

I'm happy this show got renewed because of the fans who enjoyed it, love the Percy Jackson series, it is truly dear to my heart, but would I be sad if the show was cancelled? Honestly, no. I couldn't care less what happens to this show at this point. Why should I? I was given no reason to care, aside from my already existing love for the books. I'm not intrigued about how they're going to adapt book 2, I didn't connect with the characters, I wasn't having fun. Nothing. And sure, I want young kids to be introduced to Percy Jackson, great if it's through this show, I want younger generations to love this series too, but I don't know any gen alpha who would enjoy such a show. (Hell, I really wanted my audience-age-appropriate niece to love it, but she couldn't care less about it and jeez, I wonder why...) Kids deserve better shows than this.

Will I watch season 2? Idk. Maybe? I can put it in the background while doing something else perhaps. I do hope they improve stuff but I don't have my hopes up. Will I watch episode 8? No. Life's too short. I already read the books so why bother (hehe)

[mejigay]

MEJIBRAY MiA is chewing on his ribcage bone

Keeping up with MEJIBRAY: The Series

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

Hello to my favorite bitches, long time no see! Ready for a classic mejigay gossip sesh?

If you were anything like me, you started a Tumblr blog about visual kei very young (I've posted about vk on this blog since I was 16) and now you're an adult. MEJIBRAY broke up around 6 years ago now I think right? I am now 24, have a masters degree and planning on moving to Japan in spring. Crazy how time flies right.

Let's refresh our minds a little bit okay? Now I'm assuming you remember everything from those 6-ish years ago. The MEJIBRAY label/contract issue with Tsuzuku and Koichi, Tsuzuku's borderline disorder, the refusal to do encores during the last tour, the charcoal face paint and the result of it all which was 8p-sb. If you want a recap on that specific semi-disbandment drama there's plenty of posts that I made about it while it was happening so feel free to check it out! (keep in mind I was like 18 and very dramatic writing those posts lol) There's also this great summary from a redditor in the comment section here

The same redditor even filled me in on stuff I felt out of the loop about in their reply to the OP. I know 8p-sb is gone and Koichi does Trembling Bambi solo stuff while Genki (Tsuzuku) is a vocal coach, is in the band 30 seconds certain victory, and revives VanessA occasionally. But this has also happened:

Yeah what the fuck Koichi? Now, I do remember starting that yakuza theory here on Tumblr back in the MEJIBRAY semi-disbanding days. I read it on tanuki and told y'all about it and got soooo much shit for it at the time lol. Looks like Koichi kind of confirmed the theory! (take that rude anons in my asks back then lmao). However, Koichi staying in the same industry he claims is rotten and run by the yakuza is definitely weird. Why talk all high and mighty while benefitting from it one may ask. Either way, for those wondering what Koichi is up to, there's your answer and an explanation to why he got backlash. About the VanessA stuff, one can conclude that our favorite duo, Genki and Koichi, doesn't seem to be that involved with each other anymore.

I would also like to take time to talk about Genki's well being, as some of you might know he has a youtube channel in Japanese. From my so-so Japanese skills I can still keep up with a lot of what he's saying. Good news, he's doing better now than the MEJIBRAY days from the looks of it. In this video he talked about how the photo from the MEJIBRAY days was him being unwell and the picture to the right is him feeling much better!

(TW for this paragraph: self harm) In another video he talked about various topics/gave advice such as about self harm/cutting and how it annoys him when people say he shouldn't hurt the body his parents gave to him. He thinks that's an incorrect way to tell someone to stop cutting and seems in general to be very open to talk about this topic while smiling and not getting angered. So he seemed very stable, mature and content to me.

What about Meto/Yutaro? Well, he seems to be a happy chef! As for MiA... I've seen him hang out with hosts like Roland and in general seems to live that bougie life. Roland is a top host who aims for the prince vibe just like MiA, and is open about his plastic surgeries just like MiA. Now let's get into a really recent topic about Mia!

Just like me, you might still follow our MEJIBRAY boys on various social medias. And just like me, you might have seen MiA's picture where he chews a bone. "Huh, weird" you might have thought as you scrolled past it. Well here I am, resurrecting this blog once again, just to tell you that the bone is MiA's fucking ribcage bone. I ain't posting that picture, find it yourself cause it's gross.

As MiA poses in the same costumes from his MEJIBRAY days and posts them on Instagram, you'd think his life and social media posts were a bit mundane. Then, a fucking picture of him chewing a thick ass bone pops up. The bone in question was taken out during a ribcage surgery, that MiA claims was done in order for him to create a custom guitar with his BONE INFUSED into it. Yeah I know. What???

In general you could either see it as him being a massive attention hungry person, or as unhinged and putting his life in danger. Bone surgeries are very harmful and anyone with two working eyes can see his shaved jawline bone already. So adding a removed ribcage bone to that... It's dangerous.

That's it for the gossip sesh! I'm thinking of making this "Keeping up with MEJIBRAY: The series" a thing whenever I think there needs to be a big gossip update like this.

To anyone still here in the MEJIBRAY Tumblr tags and to anyone following this blog, thanks for reading all of this and I hope we can laugh at this absurdity together! <3

xoxo mejigay

(feel free to read that sign off in the gossip girl voice lmao)

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

tell me about your ocs 🫣🫣 i liste

thank you for unlocking my side quest. this is probably definitely going to be a very long post

okay, so i've got five time lord ocs, but the main one is Fox (short for foxilquinn, because of course i had to give him a weird time lord name)

so he kind of started out as the kid in a doctor/master child au type story, and hes not not that anymore, but also he's got much more lore than just that now

to start off at the beginning he was born (or loomed i should say) on earth during the third doctor's era. i still haven't figured out why or how they had a loom, but they had one. the unfortunate thing for fox is that this loom was mildly broken so that leads to some problems for him (mainly his hair color will stay the same across all regenerations (which isn't really a problem but whatever, and its also where he got his name since the hair color is about the same as the color of a red fox's coat), he doesn't have a typical injury/stress threshold for regeneration, he has to literally be dying or he can't regenerate (this ends up with him losing a leg and an eye during his first regeneration, but it doesn't kill him so he doesn't regenerate from it), and he's really time sensitive to the point that being near anything paradoxical or too out of sync with the time line just kind of makes him pass out)

(also side note, fox is trans, it isn't like a big part of anything but i just like making my characters trans)

anyway when he's like six the cia show up and are like 'hey we're going to take your kid and put him in the academy on gallifrey' and then basically kidnap him. and since he's still got two years before he's initiated into the academy they stick him in the care or brax because a) he's the doctor's brother and therefore closest available family member on gallifrey and b) i thought it would be funny to stick brax with a child, he does not seem qualified for that

fast forward a bit and he's at the academy doing academy stuff. this is mostly uneventful, he does some mischief, but nothing big happens here. he does end up being in like the same year/class as romana though because this is my story and i like romana so she can be in it if i want her to.

after graduating fox steals a tardis and runs away because hes seen what gallifreyan society is like compared to the rest of the universe and he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in that society not being able to do what he wants.

anyway he kind of just travels around for a while until he one day runs into the doctor and romana and him and romana have a fun little reunion and he travels with them for a while.

after romana returns to gallifrey fox starts sneaking in and out of gallifrey to see romana. this gets a cia agent assigned to his case because he's now a threat to security (he isn't really all that much, his main goals other than seeing romana are to not get arrested and being annoying to gallifreyan government officials that aren't romana). of course this cia agent is narvin because he's one of my favorite time lords so he goes in the story as well

anyway things happen, romana gets captured by the daleks and imprisoned on etra prime. fox goes looking for her, does not succeed but does get blown up and has a building fall on him, resulting in him losing most of his right leg and left eye (also he builds himself a futuristic prosthetic leg and also uses forearm crutches that can fold up really small (like fit in your pocket small) because that's something i desperately want to exist so i'm giving them to him and just calling it time lord technology instead of finding a way for it to make sense) (forearm crutches are so inconvenient to bring anywhere if you're not actively using them and also sometimes when you are)

after romana gets back she gets a bit concerned about fox just running around the universe and getting into dangerous situations because of the events mentioned in the previous paragraph and basically goes 'why don't you teach a class at the academy' so she can make sure hes not out there somewhere getting himself killed

he agrees and ends up teaching a small class of students that (maybe they know this through like matrix prediction or something idk) are all probably going to be renegades. the goal of this class is basically him teaching them how to not die out in the universe (the high council also make the rule that if he's going to be employed on gallifrey he needs to stay there and try to take his tardis from him, but he basically tries to fight them about it (i like to think he tries to bite one of them) and they let him keep his tardis as long as he doesn't go on any unplanned trips)

(there's other stuff about him, like he survives the time war because i don't want to kill him off and theres a few regenerations here and there, but i've already said so much about fox so i'm going to talk about my other ocs now)

the other four are all fox's students who i actually just made up to be placeholder characters for like a scene then i got attatched. they're Azdran, Ensil, Jerex, and Maxin

Az is probably the one i have the most stuff for, they're from the house of oakdown and their parents really want them to be like some kind of politician, but they just want to get off of gallifrey and live a normal life without the expectations of their house behind all their actions. they're nonverbal and use a data pad that they modified as an aac device, this data pad is pretty old and it's a miracle that it still works, but az manages to keep it functioning somehow. they're also the only one of the students that survives the time war, they fall through a rift in time and space opened by the war and end up on earth (something something that rift in cardif)

I honestly don't have much for ensil, hes arcalian (the others are all prydonian) and finds the whole time lord society thing stifling and wants to not deal with that for the rest of his life

Jerex was raised by tardis engineers and likes tardises more than people. he already is bonded to a tardis by the time he enters fox's class and would prefer to spend his days working on upgrading and fixing it rather than having to do classes. if it weren't for the time war getting in the way of things he probably would have just settled himself on a quiet planet with his tardis and helped with repairs on the tardises of renegades who stopped by. i think he still ends up as a tardis engineer/repairer during the war because its what he's good at, but he'd rather not be involved in the war

Last there's Maxin. she's the daughter of maxil and i honestly can't remember if she started out that way or if i made her design and then named her and went 'yeah that could make sense'. anyway because of that she often disregards a lot of rules because her father has like some power and can get her out of things. she also definitely breaks into his office and looks through things she shouldn't be. after the academy she ends up joining the military and pretty quickly climbs the ranks (all of them graduate pretty close to the start of the time war so the gallifreyan military is actually like a relevant thing that does stuff at this point). once the war actually starts though it doesn't take her long to figure out that she a) kind of hates rassilon and thinks he's just making everything worse in some sort of power play against the daleks and b) she can't actually do all that much of what she wants or thinks is best in the military both because of it's structure and because, even despite her rank, she isn't often taken seriously since shes pretty fresh out of the academy, so she defects and starts helping the resistance

[daydream-believin]

Like a Boiled Frog (you don't even scream) [ch 3]

Start here! + previous chapter

Chapter summary: Hear a horrible story from Mikey's childhood. Play (more like fight for your life) some air hockey while interrogating him. Figure out he's a walking corpse. Meet Helpy :)

Warnings: I mean you can see the graphic imagery right there in the first paragraph lol. canon-typical violence.

Word count: 3920, but quite a lot happens

A/N: Im sorry if this ruins it for anyone but part of this au is that michael and henry have a good relationship lol. uh also the mention of the trope "Final Girl" is gender neutral. Don't have to be a girl to be a "Final Girl", promise

Taglist: @spirit-of-the-hollow (thanks for being so sweet, btw)

“And then I did the worst thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. I lifted him up to the bloody thing’s mouth,” Michael leaned down, pushing his face into your personal space in some half-assed effort to scare you, “And I do mean bloody, not in the British way. That wretched animatronic worked like a clam, opening and closing to look like it was singing. The jaw was spring-loaded. Popped his head like a balloon,”

Your gaze briefly flicked behind him to the garbage sculpture that had a balloon for a head, and you let out the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. This lungful of air hitting his face caused him to close his eyes and retreat from his little intimidation tactic. Yeah, your breath had to smell nasty right now, sorry man.

He violently raked a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath himself. Thankfully, despite the callous way he presented the facts, he didn’t seem to be proud of this… accomplishment. You could see it in his eyes. He was just trying and failing to act tough and scare you away.

His hair was slightly off-kilter now. Yeah, that was a rug. Hmm. Weird, he didn’t look old enough to already be balding to the point of needing one. But, from what you’ve seen, he might be some kind of cyborg or something. If he “got gutted like a fish” and his eyes glowed in the dark.

“He died in the hospital not even a day later...”

“Oh,” was all you could offer.

 His tone had been angry, but you could perceive that it was more with himself than anything. Which you could understand, you’d be incredibly angry with yourself if you were responsible for the gruesome death of a child. Damn. You clumsily put a hand on his shoulder in some attempt at comfort. Michael, in defiance of your expectations, didn’t immediately try to shake it off. But he did glare at you briefly.

Silence settled over you two as you tried to gauge if he was going to keep adding on to this awful story or if he’d hit the limit on what he was willing to relive. You gently patted his shoulder. Michael looked back at you, mouth open like he was about to say something else, but then closed it in a deep frown. Alright, your turn then.

“I am so, so sorry… I—I don’t even know what to say.”

“No one ever does,” he chuckled to himself, as you used the hand that was already resting on his shoulder to pull him into a full embrace, “What are—”

He stiffened up, clearly not used to the physical contact. That’s okay, you weren’t either. But you needed this. For some reason. It was a bit awkward, still being up on the stage, but that was okay too.

“Mate, you don’t have to—it happened 40 years ago, I’m okay,” his tone had the annoyance of someone tired of telling the same old story.

You squeezed Michael a little harder. He was so cold, even in the summer heat. Probably because he kept it like an icebox in here.

“Maybe you don’t feel like you need a hug after all that, Michael, but I do,”

You didn’t even know him. But just the thought of something as horrible as this happening made your stomach churn. The worst kind of horror story: a real one.

He shook you off of him, brushing himself off as he left the stage.

“You want to play some air hockey? I just fixed the machine this morning and need to test it out,”

Okay… So y’all are obviously done talking about this, apparently. You wouldn’t hold it against him. You wouldn’t want to keep talking about this either and would want a quick distraction like this too. Suppose this was technically him getting right back to work. Which was getting a little suspicious, like he was a little kid who was scrambling to do all the chores he procrastinated on because he could hear Daddy pull up in the driveway.

----

Michael fired up the machine and breathed a sigh of relief when it actually stayed on for more than a few seconds this time. He had in fact fixed it. Good. That would’ve been embarrassing.

The machine hummed, providing some kind of background noise to cut the silence. Perhaps Mike would consider turning the radio back on over the PA system, if he wasn’t planning on quickly smoking you at this little game and then shoving you right back out the door again. If he turned on the music, you might get the wrong idea and think you’re being welcomed.

You just... Needed to get out of here, okay? The longer you’re here the worse it’s going to get. Even though you were stubborn as a mule, you did seem to care about his brother in some capacity. It was probably a side effect of whatever manipulation that toy bear had used to get you in town, but caring is caring. Unfortunately, sentimentality had no place here at Fazbear Entertainment. As ironic as that statement is, the restaurant being a children’s birthday venue.

“So, um,” you placed your hand over the mallet to draw it back towards you as it began floating away, “you know how I mentioned, um, how Evan was, like, really scared of this one dude?”

“Yeah,” Michael tossed the puck onto the table and almost violently hit it in your direction. 

He wasn’t pulling any punches, and he really didn’t like where this conversation was headed.

“And that dude looks like you,” you barely managed to hit the puck back at him.

“Yep.” He popped that P hard. 

Michael’s annoyance at grown-ups fussing at him and telling him how handsome he was going to be one day because he looked just like his father had blossomed into a full blown feeling of hatred and disgust as an adult. Especially if it was some stranger like you, throwing the fact in his face like that.

The puck zoomed to him, and he shot it straight into your goal. He was not even looking at you. It looked like he was just preoccupied with whether or not the scoreboard was actually displaying the right numbers, so you didn’t hold it against him. 

You took a breath, annoyed that your prompting didn’t get a bite, “Well, would you mind me asking who that dude is?”

You tossed the puck back onto the table and sent it his way. You should’ve held it against him, however, because he was blatantly avoiding your gaze on purpose, actually, cross that you were pushing this topic.

“I would mind, actually,” he once again took no prisoners, spiking the puck. 

You narrowly escaped him getting a one-hit kill on you, “Well, normally I would respect that,”

“Good, then respect it,” he said through gritted teeth, trying to shut this whole conversation down.

“But given the circumstances, I don’t think I will, no”

He hit the puck so hard it flew off the air table and rolled under a neighboring arcade cabinet. Shit.

“So, are you his cyborg clone or something,” you watched as he shuffled down onto his knees to reach under the cabinet.

He sat back on his haunches, “What?”

“You said Evan died 40 years ago, and you are very much not an old man right now.”

“That’s because I’m dead,” he said as if it were obvious, walking back to his battle station at the air hockey table.

Christ almighty. Is he… Is he doomed to run a pizza restaurant for all eternity or something? Because that’s how these stories normally go. Someone commits an egregious sin, and they’re cursed to walk the earth, righting their wrong. In his case, having accidentally killed his brother, he now has to make sure all the children at Freddy Fazbear’s have perfect birthday parties. Is this Utahn Chuck E Cheese rip-off his purgatory?

He once again tossed the puck back onto the table, sending your way in a flash, “But you’re asking about my father. Our father.” he said this incredibly coldly. 

And normally when people said “father” and not “dad”, there was a reason.

Welp, there’s that one-hit kill. You didn’t even register it, too wrapped up in this case now, like you were Fred Scooby Doo or something. Freddy Fazbear Scooby—Anyway.

“I uh, I don’t get the sense you liked him very well either, then,”

He laughed, that laugh that reminded you of said father, apparently, “You could say that. The man is a homicidal maniac, Y/n. I’m not exactly concerning myself with buying him the right tie for Father’s Day. Although, I did buy him one shaped like a fish as a joke one year, but his fashion taste is so horrendous he wore it like it was normal,” 

You clumsily hit the puck to the wall, and it lazily bounced between walls in a way that told you Michael was about to have to lean over the table to reach it.

Honestly, what were you expecting? Eh, that’s not entirely fair to Mr. Coveralls Senior. You thought he was abusing his kids, sure, but ‘homicidal’ is new territory. You could easily see how one could fade into the other, however.

Even more alarmingly, you couldn’t help but notice the present tense.

Maybe Michael wasn’t the only one doomed to walk the earth here, and the idea sent shivers down your spine.

Mike did in fact have to lean over the table to hit that puck straight into your goal once again.

“Come on now, I feel like you’re not even trying.”

“I feel like I’m at an appropriate level of trying, all things considered,” even so, you redoubled your efforts.

You hit the puck as fast and as straight as you could get it. Unfortunately, he parried that easily, like he could do it in his sleep. Considering he might be bound to pizzeria arcades for all eternity, maybe he could’ve.

“What exactly do you mean by ‘homicidal maniac’,

“I mean that we still don’t have a solid number on his victims, and let’s leave it at that. Just try not to be one of them, okay?”

You swallowed hard, keeping your eyes on the puck.

That did maybe provide some insight on Michael’s renovation frenzy, however. Was Daddy pulling into the driveway soon?

“So, like,” you managed to go four hits in before he won the point this time, “I’ve noticed you’re working pretty hard. Is this whole… Family thing the reason you were up all night? Is this a “hammers ever cease” type situation?”

“A what situation?” he effortlessly sent the puck back to you the second it was on his side again. No moments of respite when it came to air hockey, apparently.

“Okay see there was this lady, who had this house built with a bajillion rooms,” he raised his brow in playful question, “I can’t remember the actual number on command, okay?”

He shot the puck into your goal ruthlessly, “sorry, continue,”

To be honest, as much as you were annoyed, you were just grateful to be interacting with another human being for as long as you two had been.

“Anyway, her husband and his father ran a rifle company, right, so when those two guys died—plus their daughter also died as an infant—she consulted a medium,” you once again had the opening shot, that he also once again deflected like second nature.

One goal, you just want one goal on this guy, it’s all you’re asking here.

“Oh, we’re not a fan of those medium types around here, they like to break in and harass the ghosts, causing disreputable property damage,” 

“The medium told her that she was cursed by the ghosts of all those who had been shot with those rifles they sold. And she told her to start adding on to her house, as a way to, I don’t know, trick the ghosts or whatever. But the medium said that if the hammers ever ceased, then she would die. So, Mrs. Winchester hired enough workmen to be building at all hours, even through the night.”

“As in, mother of Sam and Dean—”

“No, not those Winchesters. This lady was real.”

Anddddd two more points and he wins. You know what, fine. You needed to use his phone to call a mechanic soon anyway. Assuming it isn’t already past five. Suspiciously, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria didn’t have any clocks anywhere, just like a real-life adult casino.

“Strangely, you’re kinda not wrong about the family thing, but the reason I’ve been going non-stop lately is actually because I need this place open by Friday, for the Peach Days heritage festival.”

“OH, yeah that makes sense,” now less distracted, you hit the puck very fast. You were proud, even.

And you got one-shotted again.

“I’m really banking on this rush,” he raked a hand through his wig—sorry hair, “I’ve maybe run out of money…”

“Maybe?”

“So, I’ve very surely run out of money,”

“Yeahhh,” one more goal and he wins this, so it’s time for psychological warfare, “I can tell.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah man,” you successfully parried his shot, “you have trash sculptures on a stage. You’re missing half the lightbulbs. And that ball pit over there is a cardboard box.”

“Okay, so I may have put a little too much of my funds into a certain project a little too soon,” YES, and now he’s too busy thinking about his project to hit like a demon anymore.

Even still, he had you scrambling to keep the puck out of your goal box, “What kind of project?”

Yeah, no. It didn’t matter. 

He spiked the puck into your goal one last time, triggering the end of game music to play from the scorekeeper, “You want to see him?”

He sounded so excited. Alas, you had to go through the five stages of grief before you could return to playing your part in this conversation. You looked up at the big flashing 7-0 on the scorekeeper. Man, you didn’t even stand a chance in hell of winning, did you? Fitting, considering you might be standing in a certain zombie’s personal hell right now.

“Come on, I’ve got to show you this,”

Always full of surprises, this Mr. Michael A. Coveralls, grabbed your hand and led you off to a backroom of the restaurant. And you followed obediently, like a big dummy. Perhaps you are not exactly “Final Girl” material… His hand was cold. Cold like the dead, you supposed.

----

You passed by a couple private party rooms as he tugged you into the third one, that he had co-opted into a workspace. The place looked all decorated and ready to go, if not for the scattered mechanical parts and smears of motor oil all over the table. 

In the center of the table lied what you could only describe as The Birthday Boy. A colorful little robot bear, about the size of a toddler. Not activated, of course. Many parts were exposed still, wires sticking out of odd places.

“This is Helpy,”

“Awww, Helpy,” that was so cute.

“Yeah, he’s gonna be a real good helper,” Michael fiddled with the wires even as he spoke with you.

“Did you make this all by yourself?”

You adored robots, but could never in a million years design and build one yourself. That was a feat only dream-you could accomplish. You had plenty of talents, of course, but you had to admit engineering was not one of them. So, needless to say, you were pretty impressed.

“Well, the design is pretty derivative of the ones Uncle Henry used to make, as you can probably tell,” he motioned for you to sit at the bench with him so he could continue tinkering with the bear without someone standing over him, “but yeah, other than that, I’ve built him from scratch.”

“Dude. That’s so cool.”

He snickered, trying to hide the ego boost he got from that small little praise. 

“He’s only a little thing.”

Mike started messing with some kind of fuse box type thing, you didn't know. He was bending some wiring with needle nose pliers.

“Hand me that tape?”

You obliged, giving him the roll of electrical tape that had been on your left, “No, seriously man, I mean it, this is amazing. I wish I could figure out robotics.”

You propped your head up with your elbow, watching him work. He didn’t notice you staring, too wrapped up in his project.

“You could…” he trailed off, not liking how he almost offered to give you lessons.

That was… an incredibly selfish thought, just then. Sure, you were the first real person he’d gotten to really interact with since he burned down Fazbear Frights last year. Sure, you didn’t appear to be put off by his whole deal in the slightest. Sure, you acted interested in his work. He should stop thinking about this. About you. You needed to be on the next bus out of Hurricane.

“Heh, nah, I don’t think so. But thanks for being supportive,” you nudged him with your elbow.

He smiled at you sadly, before returning his focus to the part in his hands. He screwed the box back shut, having finished up the inside. 

“I think I’ll be able to get him up and running by tomorrow,”

“Oh, cool! Can I come see?”

Michael placed the tool in his hand back down onto the table with a dull thud. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to relieve some of the stress. It didn't work.

“No, actually, you can’t come see,”

“Why? I promise I won’t be very distracting,”

“No,” he said more firmly, more harshly, “You have to leave.”

“I’m not–”

“You have to get out of this town now before it swallows you, Y/n,” he grabbed your shoulder, making eye contact, “Go to Vegas, go to LA, go to Salt Lake even,  I don't care. Just get in your car and leave.”

You just stared at him for a moment. You knew he wasn’t wrong. You knew, at least for the last few hours of your trip here, that you had been walking right into some kind of ghost’s trap. Everything within you agreed on heeding his warning.

Alas, there was still one little problem.

“My car broke down in your parking lot.”

He slowly closed those glowing eyes of his, letting go of you in favor of rubbing his temples. Of course. Of fucking course.

“But you’re a mechanic, right? Fixing one little station wagon isn’t nearly as complex as building robots, right? I’m sure you’ll figure out what's wrong with it and fix it easily. Ten minutes, tops.” you were aware you were rambling at this point.

—-

Yeah, no. It had already been way longer than ten minutes. Try close to an hour. You stood in the Utah heat, sweating and trying not to feel so guilty about taking up so much of Michael’s time. You waited there, wanting to help but unable to provide anything more than handing him a wrench occasionally.

“Okay, so I think I’ve figured out what’s wrong with it,” he wiped a bit of oil from his cheek, and you tried not to stare, “Good news is, the parts shouldn’t be more than $300, if we get them used,”

You cringed, “ohhh, uhhh, see now,”

“What?”

“You know how you said you were out of money? Well, twinsies,”

“Not even—”

“No, I just paid rent, and rent takes up like 90% of my paycheck,” you felt the need to explain, embarrassed.

“Ohh,” he sounded tired, “Okay.”

He once again slowly closed those glowing eyes and rubbed his temples. You felt really bad for the amount of stress you were causing this poor man. Zombie.

“Yeah,” you stuttered nervously.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, I know how ridiculous the housing prices are getting, it’s just that, well, that was the good news.”

“What’s the bad news?”

“...Why don’t we go inside to talk, I can’t be out here in this heat too long without consequences,” he started for the restaurant, with just a quick glance back to see if you were following.

Okay well now you felt even worse about all this, if that was even possible at this point.

You followed him into the pizzeria like a puppy nipping at his heels, “Michael. Michael. What’s the bad news?”

He leaned against the prize counter, wiping off his hands with a chamois. His hands were pretty rough, calloused, and yet dextrous, as you saw when he was working with the wiring. 

“The bad news was that there was no way I was going to have time to fix it before the weekend, so I was going to suggest calling some other mechanic to do it so you wouldn’t have to stay here that long, but it looks like that’s off the table now,”

“Yeah, uh, you’re going to have to do it, no way I can afford some other guy,”

He looked at you with an expression you could only describe as a mixture of playful and exasperated.

“NOT THAT I WASN’T GOING TO PAY YOU,”

“It’s okay…” he trailed off, staring off into space.

You were kinda worried he hurt himself outside earlier, with the sluggish way he was acting now. The silence stretched on. He was definitely just, thinking, that was all. You tried not to become too concerned, lest you start fussing over him. Something told you he wouldn’t appreciate that.

God. What were you gonna do? You were broke. Your car was broke. Thankfully you had enough for a night or two in a seedy motel, but you were leaning more towards just sleeping in the car. Mike may not like someone camping in his parking lot but you needed to save what little you had so you could actually eat something. Maybe you could mooch off of the pizzeria, get Michael to give you the trash pizzas. Yeah.

He shook his head, sighing in frustration. Apparently whatever argument he was having in his head wasn’t going well.

Michael chuckled to himself. You weren’t sure what was funny.

“I cannot believe I’m about to say this, but how would you feel about working the festival with me to pay for the parts?”

“And your service,” you looked at him sternly, “I’ve caused you enough trouble as is, least I could do is pay for your time, sir,”

“Don’t call me sir,” he raked a hand through his hair, a nervous tick, you’ve noticed, “It would actually be a big help, since, well, I’m currently understaffed at the moment–”

“You don’t have any employees, do you?”

“I have two, thank you,”

You laughed, “That’s not counting Helpy, is it?”

“No, it’s not counting Helpy,”

“I suppose you’ve got yourself a deal then, Mr. Coveralls,”

You held out your hand and he took it gingerly. You ignored how cold it was this time, focusing more on how it felt in yours. A firm, professional handshake, and the arrangement was sealed. You just hoped you hadn’t just made a deal with a demon. A charming demon, but a demon, nonetheless.

“It’s… It’s um.. Emily. By the way,” he stuttered.

“What?”

“My last name… It’s Emily.”

“Oh…” you smiled, “Very nice to meet you, Michael Emily.”

[kyriaejiraiblog]

so quick disclaimer this isnt jirai stuff but it is talking about sh and its somebting that kind of pissed me off but i don’t wanna put it in my main

so for context it was some skk video and the person said essentially “if you’re going to ship do it correctly, you’re mischaracterizing dazai“ (and mori but who tf cares)

so here’s my reply to the comment, and honestly the way they responded made me upset—because while they made a comment explaining their thoughts and i was fine agreeing to disagree, they felt they needed to add onto their own opinion? but honestly i feel like they are in a way mischaracterizing dazai more than in the original post (which i can grab the link for anyone who finds this and decides they want to see it to make their own opinion)

“i can guarantee he doesn’t even cut discreetly.” problem i have with this statement is we literally have no idea what the bandages are for, however we know that dazai had easy access to various blades, primarily scalpels because of mori. the way that particular mental illness affects your brain makes the prospect of drawing blood very appealing. considering he had bandages before the pm, and how this person even admits sh was possible before dazai joined, i find it highly likely that he would continue such an act. sh is by no means easy to escape, and dazai was not in a supportive environment in the pm.

second, his words to atsushi—those kinds of words sound like something born from experience. that is something dazai has, and still suffers from in a sense. it’s like oda said, dazai will always be living with darkness and has to learn how to manage that emptiness. and plus, from my own interpretation, dazai sees a version of himself within atsushi, and wants to prevent atsushi from becoming him.

one thing i do agree is he doesn’t care about mori’a approval, never will. but dazai lives in such a perpetual state of self-loathing that it’s weird to say that dazai wouldn’t even think about sh. while my initial reply was about punishment through this means, i just didn’t have enough to elaborate my actual thoughts on what dazai’s motivations would be for this kind of self mutilation.

there’s a point where sh stops being punishment, if it even was to begin with. dazai feels apathy toward much of the world around him, particularly during his time in the pm. apathy like this creates a void, an emptiness that never truly goes away. cutting gives a chance to feel something, anything. feeling nothing is more painful than a blade running down skin.

and now i’m going to start being extremely personal. i don’t like pain. dazai states he doesn’t like pain. i cut every single day. that last paragraph is essentially my own experience with self harm. in my case. it does start out as sparingly used punishment. then it becomes addicting, and the only thing to pull me out of the emptiness and complete apathetic state where i have nothing but my own thoughts. this kind of thought process isn’t uncommon among people who sh. it almost feels like cutting is just simply a thing that happens.

and then about dazai looking down on people who sh—fuck off with that. while sh and suicide aren’t always correlated, they’re often connected. at best, dazai is completely indifferent to people with scars. otherwise, he’s one of them. dazai’s entire personality seems i consistent in many ways, and while i do agree that he probably has major depression, i wouldn’t say it’s too far fetched to say he might have bpd or bipolar. in fact, id even argue that he has both depression and bpd according to many of the symptoms displayed in dazai’s character (which if that’s the case, gj asagiri bc bpd is so heavily associated with women that people forget men can have it too)

which rambling more abt the bpd thing ppl with bpd are often queens of “it’s a slippery slope” and it’s already shown that dazai does drink more than a bit. which is one thing people with bpd are prone to, they so easily can get addicted to these kinds of things and they just can’t help it. another reason i argue it’s likely dazai would sh.

once again, referring to the second screenshot, people who hate pain aren’t excluded from self harming. i am one of those people, myself. i wouldn’t doubt dazai would attempt to cut his arteries as a suicide attempt as well, something i somewhat tried, but i still argue that dazai has likely self harmed. anyway i hope this was fun to read im done rambling lmao

[indigochromatic]

Ok ok, system experiences: weird forms of amnesia edition

Alright, like the alterhuman folks have all been saying today, lemme try to actually write some of this personal experiences stuff instead of only reblogging posts about how it'd be a great thing to do, lol Bit of rambling about one of the few forms of amnesia/(amnesia-adjacent-thing? idk) that we experience, and don't hear other systems describe as much.

So, as a system, we don't (as far as we know) have a lot of amnesia, especially not amnesia around events or blackouts between switches. We do have different emotions and perspectives about stuff, and different degrees of emotional attachment to different memories and concepts, but most of the time we have access to the same memories, and can tell who's front-POV any individual memory was from when either of us recalls it.

We did get a bit of a reminder today that we do actually experience some form of narrative/episodic amnesia...kind of? We don't hear it talked about a lot, so hey, I'll talk about it, and I'd love to know if anyone reading this recognizes it (either from their own experiences, or if they happen to know some kind of official term for it or something). Essentially, it's like...temporary, stress-induced memory shutdowns? Kind of like how when we're having a really out-of-it day, we can just mentally afk and miss 50%-80% of what someone says when they're trying to have a conversation with us, except it'll extend beyond just immediate short-term recall and make it hard to access practically anything from the whole week/month/etc. A key thing about the experience for us is that it doesn't feel like...a "blackout", and (as far as we've been able to tell from getting better memory access back later) it's not centered around specific extra-upsetting events or anything, it's more like...really, really bad internet connection while trying to search our brain for answers to stuff. "What did we do this past week? idk, it was normal stuff, though. How are we feeling, I know intellectually it was kind of a rough week? idk pretty chill probably :)"

Also, we can kinda start getting recall back if we're prompted about specific details and stuff, but too much trying-to-remember effort (especially in situations where we're being called on to do emotional work, like therapy sessions) can also turn into a headache--like, oh yeah, here's the memory, but if we get more than "a sentence or two into the first paragraph" of recalling it, we'll get a nice little dissociation headache and suddenly something else seems way more interesting to think about.

Anyways, thought that might be a useful experience for other folks to compare notes on? It doesn't feel from the inside like amnesia in the "traditional" sense, really, not only because it's in transient episodes but also because we still have the strong sense that the memories are actually there and that there's no lost time or anything Really Bad that's been redacted. It's also it's pretty overtly obvious that it's protective mechanism due to stress/mental overload, even though it's not deliberate, and not under conscious control. In that way, it feels like a pretty apt comparison to say that it's like we're having a speech shutdown episode, except for about memory instead of talking out loud--we didn't lose the memories, the mental filing cabinet drawer just got stuck; we didn't lose our verbal processing, we just can't get the words to happen out loud right now.

If we had to guess, just from how it feels body-wise, the mechanism is probably similar to what happens in catatonia? Also--forgot to mention this earlier, but if we keep getting pressed about stuff, either externally or from pushing ourselves internally, it'll almost always end up triggering a switch (usually to me, which is exactly what happened earlier today in family therapy, lmao). Do I remember the week better than L does, when that happens? Hm. Kinda? The catatonia-like "mentally underwater" feeling goes away for sure, and it's more like...I can get to the bare minimum content information more easily, (like the bullet points info awareness), without getting lost in the fog about it--but I still don't have really any better recall of the narrative stuff. That's my current theory, idk, could be wrong. Anyone else know what I'm describing? Lmk!

[myneurogenderramblings]

So, I want to break down this piece of “art” that I constantly run into when searching for autigender content. I’m doing this because a) I can’t sleep because it’s bothering me so much b) I want to help other autigender people who come across it and are similarly bothered. Break down some of the claims made. So, let’s begin.

First, the artwork itself.

First off, the implication that you’re the only autistic person who gets a say in the validity of the label is kind of weird. Every autistic person is different. “Your” autism isn’t a gender. “My” autism is. Our experiences are different. I know a frequent difficulty for autistic people is understanding that your perspective isn’t universal. So I’m trying to be understanding.

Now, the rant posted along with this piece of art.

You say this is not targeted towards transgender or nonbinary people. But the people you are targeting are literally trans or nonbinary. Autigender is an identity under the nonbinary umbrella. You say that you’re going after people who turn everything into genders. But why is that a bad thing?

Now we have the dictionary definition of autism. Seems somewhat accurate, if a bit dated. And yes, nowhere in the definition of autism is it listed as a gender. But this person appears to have a fundamental misunderstanding of what autigender is. Autigender is not “a gender that literally is autism”, though it can be that for some people. Autigender is a gender that is so fundamentally shaped by someone’s autistic experiences that the two are genuinely impossible to separate.

Yes. And your experiences with autism are perfectly valid. Doesn’t affect your gender? Not even a little bit? That’s all fine and dandy. Just because all autigender people are autistic doesn’t mean all autistic people are autigender. It’s like how all squirrels are mammals but not all mammals are squirrels. Just because your autism and your gender are completely separate doesn’t mean it works like that for other people. Again, I know this is a common trait for autistic people, so I’m trying to cut them some slack. I find it odd that this person felt the need to specify how their autism makes their life worse. Does identifying as autigender somehow erase the struggles autistic people go through? How? Like, I’m genuinely curious. I’m autigender and I would never say that my autism isn’t debilitating at times.

How does autigender existing make fun of your diagnosis? Or imply that autistic people aren’t human beings? The only reason you would think it implies that would be if you don’t see nonbinary people as human beings. Also, “actual” autistic people? I’ve been diagnosed with autism since age 5, and as soon as I discovered the term autigender I instantly fell in love with it. Next, this person, who just stated in their last paragraph that they are a cisgender woman, starts talking about what’s offensive to transgender people. What I find interesting is the fact that autigender people are somehow exempt from all the bad things that happen to transgender people. Someone who seeks out a trans person to commit a hate crime against isn’t going to stop if they see the person wearing an autigender flag pin.

Now we are being sent links to NIMH resources on autism, schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety. There’s this weird assumption that people who use these genders don’t know anything about the condition, which is very odd because these genders are exclusive to those with the condition. Yes, none of the resources talk about how said condition can affect gender. Because someone’s anxiety playing a role in their gender is mostly harmless. These resources are for doctors who need to know how to treat harmful symptoms. Gender identity can become inherently disordered (an example being Transgender-OCD), but for the most part a gender identity being affected by neurodivergence is not something that needs treatment. And once again, a cis woman deciding what constitutes transmisia.

I hope you enjoyed this breakdown. If not, I don’t care. It was cathartic for me and that’s why I made it. Now I should really get to bed.

[rayclubs]

Do you have any advice on how to improve writing characters and character interactions?

Yes! Oh my god, this ask got me so excited I’m actually typing out the response in a word document. Let’s fucking go. I’ll try to omit any well-known advice like “read other books” and “practice a lot”, y’all know that already, so I’ll get straight to practical tips. I’ll also be bringing up examples from my TF2 fics because it’s easier for me to make my points this way, and also because my fics are epic and you should totally read them.

Branch out from the widely recognized go-to emotion signifiers. Watch the people around you and notice how often they raise an eyebrow when confused, or tilt their head when inquisitive, or clench their fists when angry – it’s not entirely implausible that they do it, but chances are, they also do something else that’s way more unique, more interesting, more “them”.

It makes emotions personal, but it also makes gestures and non-verbal interactions personal. In the beginning of my fic “Kill the Red”, Soldier salutes Pyro in the way of encouragement because that is how Soldier acts when he’s trying to be reassuring and confident. At the end of the fic, this happens: “(Pyro) glanced up, found Soldier’s eyes, and gave him back that salute he owed.” It’s a very small bit, but it reinforces Soldier’s characterization as an assuring, commanding presence, as well as Pyro’s impressionable but proactive personality, and helps define their unique dynamic. I could have had Soldier give Pyro a pat on the back instead and be done with it, and the fic wouldn’t suffer too much, but what I went with in the end is way better.

Dialogue is my favorite part of the writing process, but it’s also the easiest to mess up. Here’s few important things to keep in mind when writing dialogue.

Get to the point. Skip the vocal fills, greetings and goodbyes, and all deceivingly human junk that is so easy to get caught up in. Have your characters say what they want to say, in the way that only they would say it, and be done with it. If there’s no consequence or weight to the way someone says “sorry”, write simply that the character apologized, but don’t dignify it with quotes and a dialogue tag. That’s for special occasions only.

Make dialogue tags into actions. There’s a bunch of examples for this in all my fics, here’s some from “Close Call”.

“Coming to a professional?” Spy smiled, eyes narrow like those of a mischievous cat.

“Where?” Soldier squinted and leaned forward but seemed to be looking in the wrong direction, just slightly too far to the left.

“I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole.” A cardboard folder was pressed into Sniper’s chest. Spy grinned proudly. “Take a look.”

He clutched the steering wheel. “It’s the only big enough clearing in these bloody woods.”

Like, it’s such a technical advice, but I read fanfiction and I know how many people struggle with this, and it just helps the flow of conversation so much? You can say “said” and “replied” and other such words, but it really does wonders to intersperse them with actions that do not imply speaking at all. This is also how I manage conversations among multiple people without constantly going “X asked” and “Y answered”. It establishes the presence of every character in the scene in a proactive manner but doesn’t overburden the text with needless clarifications.

Count your lines. That’s a simple one. Count your paragraphs to make it so the characters’ lines alternate. Even if nobody says anything, count that paragraph as a line too. It just makes text so much clearer.

Make characters say what they think. This is so basic but like. I saw the exact opposite advice once and it bugs me so much. No, you don’t obscure the characters’ intentions and feelings in fifty layers of unnecessary misunderstandings to create pointless drama, that’s the opposite of a good story! That’s how you get the one part of Shrek 1 that literally everyone criticized! Goddammit!

There’s a weird example of this with chapter three of my “Vignette Collection”, ironically titled “misunderstanding”. The gist of the fic is that Pyro communicates via gestures and social cues that Medic is too autistic to understand. It works – again, ironically – because both of them say exactly what they mean, even if they don’t understand each other and see the world differently. The resolution is fucking hilarious fitting because the conflict doesn’t exist strictly on the level of phrasing, there is an actual clash of interest in there. Does that make sense? I feel like it doesn’t make sense. Good god.

Make characters be wrong. It’s hard to explain but there’s a really good example in my “Acceptable Losses”. The context of the scene is that Medic is injured and Spy is worried about him, though, importantly, he doesn’t say it verbally. The story is from Medic’s POV, and at some point this happens: “Spy reached into his front pocket for the cigarette case, but reconsidered, for some reason.”

The “for some reason” bit is Medic’s thoughts. I know the reason. You – the reader – know the reason. The reason is that the man is concerned and doesn’t want to smoke up the kitchen when his friend needs clean air and a healthy meal. The only one who doesn’t get this is the point-of-view character. This characterizes him as someone who is accepting of other people’s occasionally strange disposition, but ultimately oblivious to social clues.

This bit alone doesn’t amount to much, but this trait reinforced like fifty times throughout the story works to built that character trait well.

Incorporate metaphors into characterization. I fucking love doing this so much. I have two fics that practically do nothing but this – “What’s it called, Engie?” and “Seasons”. I could write fucking essays about my thought process for both of them but this is already so long so let’s just briefly consider the former. On a side note, I hate that I named it that, I usually have nice names for my fics but that one fucking pisses me off. Anyway.

In “What’s it called, Engie?” Soldier and Engineer alternate POV’s as the story sees them build a close relationship over the course of several unconnected scenes. The core theme is that Soldier cannot express his emotions verbally in a manner that makes sense, so he works through associations instead, and Engie helps him navigate it, all while learning more about the way he sees the world in the process. Well, within this metaphor, Engie is a bee – a busy creature with a nurturing nature and an unexpected sting, while Soldier is an old tree – big and easy to stand out but purposeless and “dry”, as in emotionally. So here’s a few lines from the fic that practically state that directly:

Dell’s voice sounded like watching a bus leave seconds before you could reach it. Like waking up in the middle of the night finding no water at the bedside. Like winter striking too early and forcing the bees to hide.

Bees picked the nicest flowers with open petals, overflowing with nectar and so full of pollen it made people sneeze. Jane couldn’t imagine why such a hard-working genius bee would waste its time trying to nurture a dried-out old twig.

He stayed quiet. Like the silence of a flower to the buzz of a bee, sometimes no answer was an answer too.

And here are a few lines that are not about any of that at all:

“Here, how’s that feelin’?” – and up went the metal case, unfolding into a dispenser, adding its soft hum to the buzz of the workshop.

The clock ticked and tacked like a woodpecker fussing over a worm-eaten tree trunk.

There was a long pause before more words followed, shaky like tree branches in the wind.

“Can I still keep coming to your workshop though? I like how it buzzes.”

Here’s the kicker: THEY’RE ALL THE SAME IMAGERY. They’re the same fucking thing. Trees, bees, hums, buzzing, they’re the same metaphor. There’s one metaphor in that goddamn fic. This is so easy to write but can be so effective, it feels like it should be illegal.

(Another side note: I could write a dissertation about all the shit going on in that fic, like, there’s the naming of characters, the vibrant metaphors of Soldier’s POV contrasting with the practical view that Engie has of the world, the tiny little bits of blink-and-you-miss-it characterization, etc etc okay sorry to brag so much I’m just insane)

This is getting REALLY long so here’s just a few more points with very brief examples to wrap up, and let me know if you want to hear me ramble about writing some more because I love it to a ridiculous degree like. Okay.

You can use association to built unique metaphors. Try to imagine a feeling in your head, pick a few things that feel similar, and then tweak them so they fit the overall theme. My favorite theme is nature and weather metaphors, and my favorite example of this is this line from “Falter” – “Demo plowed through the ocean of their misfortunes with the ferocity of a steam engine, and Soldier clung to him like a flea to a fur coat.”

A character arc does not necessarily have to change your character in a big way. Sniper goes through a character arc in “Close Call”, but it manifests in really small ways, such as him resolving to call his parents, or him letting Spy have his coffee maker.

Also like. Basic but you need to have an idea of where the story is going and why, even if it’s a really small-scale story with very low stakes. That way you can introduce things in the beginning and then call back on them at the end. It’s called a circular plot structure, but on a smaller scale it does not have to be the whole plot, it can just be individual elements that aren’t plot-relevant, like the coffee maker described above.

Use nomenclature as a tool of characterization. Decide what words your characters use to refer to others and to themselves, and stick by that. Differentiate them this way. It’s fun.

Anything can be a bit of characterization. It never exists in a vacuum. You have to get into your character’s brain and just sit there all the time. Good luck.

Hope this was at least a little bit informative. Cheers!

[swhatever]

‘’you liked it?’’ 

kinktober ‘22 day 6: impact play

pairing: legolas x reader 

summary: you and legolas are sparring due to a bet when you accidentally fail to pull one of your punches. legolas starts acting weird, and when you confront him, well you know what happens AJSJSJ this is kinktober bitch 

warnings: afab!reader, terribly written sparring im so sorry, it isn’t long though don’t worry, only like a paragraph, y/n is an absolute TEASE, legolas doesnt know how healthy communication works season 41 episode 62, a sad amount of commas as per usual, i apologise for nothing, i’m not really someone that reads a lot with impact in it so i apologise if this is poorly written ASJSJJSJS, lowkey dom!sub vibes but only briefly, handjob (m!receiving)

word count: 719 

a/n: i gotta say im a gigolas bitch so writing a legolas x reader was WILD oh well sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do 

sindarin (please let me know if it’s wrong): 

meleth nîn: my love 

melethrilen: my beloved 

miluis: lovely one 

You dodged swiftly, turning and kicking at his upper thigh. He dodged in turn, throwing a punch to your stomach. You hit him, curling a leg around his shin and leaning forward, Legolas fell onto his back. 30 minutes. 30 minutes you had been sparring for, and for 30 minutes you have been suffering, bruises starting to form along your shoulders and back. Fuck the effiency of elves. Noticing your momentary distraction, and the way your shoulders sagged in relief as you finally won, Legolas pulled you on top of him before flipping you over. 

You narrowed your eyes. Instead of giving up however, you locked your legs around his hips and pushed yourself upwards, flipping him onto his back. You straddled him, retracting your arm before slapping him, a red mark quickly forming in its place. You must admit, that was a bit unnecessary, you could’ve been a bit gentler. But you had been sparring for well over 2 hours, your latest round starting not half an hour ago, and you decided you wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face. 

Instead of trying to fight back, Legolas just laid there, staring at you. 

‘’I win,’’ you grinned, your eyes alight with mirth, ‘’2 out of 3, so I win. You must now do as I say for the next week, oh great prince, I hope you treat it like the honour you know it is.’’ 

You paused your victory speech when you noticed Legolas still hadn’t said anything. No quip, no snarky comment, no complaint about being your servant for the next week. Nothing. 

‘’Legolas?’’ You questioned. 

Legolas’ brows furrowed. 

‘’Are you okay?’’ 

‘’Meleth nîn,’’ he all but breathed, eyes dark, ‘’I think it is safe to say you won.’’ 

‘’Well obviously, dear, I just said that.’’ you attempted to jest, all but failing to hide your frown.

 ‘’What is the matter, my love?’’ you pressured, hands cupping his cheeks, ‘’something plagues you. If it genuinely bothers you about this agreement or you are worried what I may do I will forget this bet ever happened.’’ 

‘’It is not that, miluis,’’ Legolas said, kissing your wrist, ‘’It is not that at all.’’

‘’Then what is it?’’ 

Legolas turned his head, blush rising to his cheeks. Whatever it was clearly embarrassed him. You thought back to the past few hours, wondering what could ail him so. It wasn’t until you hit him that he started seeming quiet. 

‘’Are you upset I hit you? I apologise, my darling, if I hurt you.’’ 

‘’It did not affect me as you thought it had, meleth.’’ 

‘’Then what could possibly-’’ Oh. Oh. This is dangerous, you thought, with an internal grin. 

‘’Legolas,’’ you hummed, failing to hide your sultry tone, ‘’did you enjoy that hit?” 

His rising blush proved your theory. And here you were thinking elves never blush like that. Perfect little princes never blush like that. 

You placed your index finger under his chin and titled him to look at you. 

‘’It is only you that elicits a reaction like that, my starlight.’’ 

You grinned, rolling your hips as Legolas sucked in a breath. 

‘’My darling prince,’’ you purred, ‘’would you like me to do it again?’’ 

Legolas stared at you, mouth agape at your question. He didn’t think you wouldn’t mind. You grabbed his jaw harshly when he didn’t answer. ‘’Tell me, Legolas.’’ He nodded frantically. ‘’With. Words.’’ 

‘’Yes please, meleth nîn.’’ 

You smiled, before slapping him across his other cheek, placing a soft kiss where red began to blossom beneath it. Legolas groaned lightly beneath you. 

Your hands slid beneath his trousers before gripping him harshly, almost tugging at him. Legolas moaned, his hands gripping your hips, all but writhing under you. You flipped so that you lay under him, your hand still down his trousers as he groaned above you. You pulled his trousers down before slapping his ass. A harsh ‘crack’ sound filled the air as skin met skin, and all Legolas could think to do was kiss you before cumming into your hand. You melted into the kiss as you pulled your hand away, before half-heartedly pulling his trousers back up. 

‘’I think we shall continue this in our quarters, my prince.’’ you beamed up at him. 

‘’I think we shall indeed, melethrilen.’’

[nancypullen]

Lawdy, I'm Tired

I worked until 8pm on Thursday, on Friday we picked up the grand girl and returned her on Sunday afternoon, on Monday Matt flew in, and on Wednesday the Edgewaters will be back for a few nights. I'm not complaining about being loved, but I need a day! On the morning of the 8th I will wave goodbye to Mickey and Matt as they fly out of Baltimore (in different directions) and then I will have my day. There will be crime shows, popcorn for dinner, and not a bra in sight. I'll probably be in bed by 9 o'clock every night. The cats are really excited about that. As you may have guessed from that first paragraph, I'm finally finished at the library. As much as I hate that, I do feel like I made the right decision. There's a possibility that they'll bring me on as a volunteer just to do the displays. I'd be okay with that. On my terms and on my time, a little creative outlet - what's not to love? This morning I had a breakfast meeting with a very interesting and likable woman who may hold a portion of my future happiness in her hands. She has taken on a local magazine and has a wonderful vision for it. Part of that vision is assembling a talented team and I'm flattered beyond belief that she wanted to talk to me. Flattered and STUMPED, really, because she is such a smart, determined, and confident person. I'm always in awe of people like that and wonder what in the world I could offer - but I'm absolutely open to the possibilities. I'll know more in a couple of weeks, and will make some choices then. My imposter syndrome is strong, but I refuse to allow it to keep me from trying something new and possibly fabulous. I remind myself that Laura Ingalls Wilder started writing her column for the Missouri Ruralist when she was 44, the same age that I was when I started this blog. Maybe it's time for me to spread my wings a bit and see what happens.

If it doesn't work out I'll go right back to writing my little manuscripts that I never send in and making my weird little cards. Either way I'll be keeping company with the written word and I find the prospect of that utterly delightful. I'm also delighting in my gardens. I've actually seen humingbirds, at last! Since moving here I've felt that my gardens have been a bit lackluster. I'd gotten very used to my green thumb producing tumbles of blooms and luscious greenery. It took some time for me to learn how to garden in clay, I suppose it's now time to learn to garden in sandy soil. I'm not good at it. I've studied books on mid-Atlantic gardening and Eastern Shore gardening, and read every tip that Maryland's master gardeners share. I still feel like things are stunted and/or stubborn. The vinca is fine, and my sunflowers and purple coneflower have finally started blooming.

Of course the reliable ol' zinnias are blooming like crazy. But nothing seems full and lush. I'll get the hang of it. I will figure it out, but the clock is already ticking on this growing season. That's not a complaint, I am no fan of summer. I mean...

I'm not saying I'm counting or anything, just ...er...remaining aware.

The heat will be escalating this week, the 4th promises to be a scorcher, but you can bet that the inside of my head will look like this.

Whatever it takes, short of shaving my head, to stay cool. If you hear me playing Monster Mash while I cook, mind yo' business. That brings me to another idea. Denton lacks exercise options if you don't want to walk around in the woods (I don't). That's probably not fair, they just lack the stuff I like, like Zumba and Jazzercise. More specifically, Zumba and Jazzercise with women who remember L'eggs pantyhose and who shot J.R. On mornings that I want to feel better I pop in my ear buds and dance around to a favorite playlist. Even just a half hour of dancing puts me in an improved state of mind. Soooo, hear me out. Why not reserve a room via Parks & Rec, and just have a dance hour every morning? I'll bet they'd be surprised at how many middle-aged women would show up to just laugh and dance for an hour, or even 30 minutes! Don't call it cardio, or strengthening, or any of that. Just some time blocked out to get your groove on. I'll bet the room would be filled with laughter and new friendships. I know I'd be a regular. I think it's a shame when we stop dancing.

That's my plan for uniting the country. Put people in rooms and play the songs that we all know and love. They'll be smiling, sharing, and dancing in no time. Honestly, it's as good a plan as anything else. On that silly note, I'm going to go give my gardens a drink and a pep talk. It's been an interesting and encouraging day, hope is fluttering around, looking for a place to land.

I hope your hearts are full of hope, even if you're just hoping for cooler weather or a little fun. Hope is what helps us show up and keep trying. That's really all we have to do.

Sending out loads of love tonight, take as much as you need. As always - stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[slimy-vore-bog]

WARNING: groomer in the SFW vore community (serious)

Content/Trigger warning: discussions of grooming, mention of incest, and sexual and fatal vore

I am posting to tags to try to keep people safe!

This specifically occured in the Owl House corner of this community, but everyone should be warned

I will put the rest of the post below keep reading, but for now the person I'm accussing is known as "les-the-mess" on here and "LesTheMessy" on DeviantArt (I do not remember the discord name) and she is 23/24 years of age

And lastly that a real minor has been contacted by said person and made very uncomfortable (url will not be stated for their safety)

Remember to check everything I say for yourself, if you don't believe me; I would not accuse this person publicly if I didn't consider them a real threat All except the minor's statement are available online

I am feeling sick to my stomach that this happened and I don't know how to handle this. I'm going to tell this a bit more like a story so I can get it out easier

I was on DA (DeviantArt) when I saw something odd pop up; a vore edit of Catra and Adora with Luz and Amity as prey. I looked at it, because I am always up to find more sfw safe vore creators, but it was neither safe or non-sexual

There were clearly comments engaging with the art in a sexual way and the creator didn't discourage or delete said comments and the description itself mentioned how the vore was going to end with both prey characters dying.

This person had an identical avatar and near identical username to their URL here on tumblr and I was horrified as I knew that this person had interacted with a minor despite having "minors DNI" and that already gave me a slight prickling suspicion something was wrong (later learned she has even DMed them on discord...)

They had both minors and NSFW in her DNI so I didn't have anything to go after, as they didn't have any post with suspicious stuff here or followed any weird blogs and I brushed it off initially

Her posts on DA however... Very fucking damning: almost all their edits are of minors and adults in vore or of the character The Collector (Which is a child who is also a god; he is immortal, but at the point we last see them is mentally an 8-10 year old)

Now I didn't pick the most damning thing to screenshot, as it was too gross (unbirth incest between Luz the main character, her girlfriend and Luz's mother Camila) but here is one example of one of their posts:

Odalia/nickname Mamadalia is an antagonist of the show and an adult woman

Here is a screenshot of her account on tumblr:

Very lousily taken, but I was too distraught to care

I contacted the minor (who I am already friendly with, since I wanted to support the growth of their blog) as soon as I deemed this person to be a threat and the minor has told me that she has indeed acted weird towards them, but it only clicked now after I shared what I did...

The minors own words when I asked for details:

"I can't remeber what we talked about exactly since I deleted my discord in a panic-

But it was first of with the collector, at first it seemed harmless, but I started getting uncomfortable when it entered into the vore Stuff, like, I dont why but it rubbed me the wrong way but I didnt say anything since it sorta felt…uneasy to say the least, and i feel stupid because i never said anything about it

She also talked a lot about digestion aswell, and when I brought up the no minors thing- she said it was because she managed and 18+ discord server and it was okay for us to talk, and I feel this is extremely important to mention- she reposted your art to me without credit, I cant remeber everything but i hope this is enough"

Now the last thing I will say I don't have much of an opinion on, because of how severe the situation is, but I wanted to include the full message (Split up into paragraphs for easier reading)

I might have forgotten some stuff, but this is all I can think of right now

Please just stay safe, stay away and block/report this person!