#IDK.........I JUST WANT TO FINISH THIS GODDAMNED FUCKING CHAPTER ALREADY

[lunaplena]

i don't know what it is about my writing that it feels like it lacks depth and oomph

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 36 - Oma]

• Oma (German, grandma)

Warnings: I want to cradle Jungkook in my arms and kiss his forehead, he is the most adorable person ever, cuddles & snuggles, wandering around memories, grief in some way?, idk she visits her dead grandma in her memories, it’s sweet but in a bittersweet kinda way, the ending hits different

Wordcount: 14.3k

a/n: writing this chapter after so much pain felt like therapy. this is a breather after all the angst

You open your eyes. The walls are violet and the furniture a mahogany red. You know that room so well. You spent many nights in it back when Namjoon was still nowhere to be found and your little group was still complete. Maybe a little broken at that time, but at least everyone was still here. You sigh with pain in your voice. The night Yoongi was with you in this exact bed comes back to you. Haunting you. It was a peaceful night, the air smelled of aging summer and the cicadas were already quiet. The rest of the house was already asleep. It was just you and him. He plopped himself right across you, sinking into the fluffy duvet until he was almost swallowed by it. You then proceeded to giggle like crazy and attack him with dozens and dozens of kisses. Yoongi spent the night under those covers with you whilst the only soundtrack of the night, was your shaky breathing and the sound of desperate kisses. He told you about his past as a sorcerer once everything was done and you listened to him until the sound of his voice lulled you to the best sleep ever.

Knowing that such moments were nothing but memory these days hurts like fucking hell.

You sit up even if it is difficult. Your legs are bared under the covers. That explains why your jeans are thrown over the wingchair by the window. Your beanie and winter coat were on it as well and by its legs, your winter boots were standing.

Jungkook must have undressed you last night before tugging you into bed. The latter wasn’t in the room with you, but the sound of the shower next door lets you know that he was still here. Even if not visible, Jungkook was still here.

The morning after your night with Yoongi comes back to you. He also took a shower in this bathroom. He let you sleep in and you woke up to the sound of him brushing his teeth. He kept the door open, leaning against the doorframe and with his eyes gazing at your face. He wore a bathrobe back then. It was pink and floor length as it belonged to one of the witches. You remember giggling when seeing him and Yoongi telling you to stop teasing him with fondness in his eyes. He gave you a kiss once he finished his morning routine and till this day you regret not pulling him back into bed with you to kiss him for hours. You should have appreciated the time you had with him more. You should have kissed him and kissed him and kissed him some more.

The door opens. Jungkook steps outside, wearing fresh boxer briefs and having his hair tied back in a high bun. He looks at you the moment the door opens.

“Good morning”, he says.

“Mhm”, you let out, because you felt too weak to speak.

Jungkook sits down at the edge of the bed, draping his left arm over your waist and propping his hand on the mattress. He caresses your cheek with the back of his right hand gently and soothingly. You know that he can smell your sadness. No emotion gets unnoticed by his overly sensitive nose. Especially not one so stubborn and potent. He doesn’t call you out on it. You appreciate that he doesn’t. You don’t have the strength to accept comforting words or promises that it will get better again. His soft touch brings comfort enough.

“I will bring you some breakfast.”

“Mh-hm.”

Jungkook breaks away from you and gets dressed. He leaves the room afterwards, abandoning you in your thoughts. You appreciate that he didn’t ask whether you wanted breakfast or not and instead he decided it for you. You couldn’t have possibly made a decision. It is so exhausting to make decisions. So goddamn exhausting.

Yoongi brought you breakfast that morning as well. You insisted on going downstairs and eating it together with the others, but Yoongi wanted you to stay in bed and relax while he fed you fresh fruit from the witches’ gardens. He made it so easy to give in. He always did. And he made it so worthwhile. You never regretted giving in to him.

You want to return to the past. Why is it not possible? Why do you have to keep living, knowing that you can never relive your favourite moments? Why did everything go so very wrong?

The door opens. Jungkook is back. He returns to his spot, placing the bowl of food on his lap.

“Meredith made porridge for you. She put a little bit of magic in it to help you regain your energy”, he says and scoops up some of the sweet breakfast. He blows on it until it isn’t too hot anymore, “try it.”

You let him feed you. The porridge is rich in spices. Cinnamon, vanilla, honey and fresh milk. The magic gives it an even richer flavour. It tastes good.

“It’s yummy, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good. Eat it well”, he says, feeding you spoon by spoon without speaking a word. He knows as well as you do, that there is nothing to talk about.

The magic starts to work after half of the bowl was finished. Your body stops aching and your muscles finally begin wanting to move. The warmth and Jungkook’s gentle care helps your heart ache less. You sit up, using his thigh for support.

Jungkook places the spoon in the bowl, watching you with bated breath. You take said spoon and begin eating yourself while he holds the bowl.

You chew and swallow, looking into his eyes.

“How long did I sleep?” you ask him.

“Almost an entire day. You fell asleep in the car so I carried you to bed. You didn’t even wake up when I undressed you. You must have been really exhausted”, he says and gives you a knowing smile, “it’s good that you slept for so long. You’ll see how much easier you can work today.”

“Do they know why we are here?”

“Yes. I told them everything and they went straight to work. Don’t worry my baby, you didn’t lose any time”, Jungkook says, caressing your cheek, “they worked in your stead so you could rest.”

“Thank you”, you get out, “you have no idea how much this means to me.”

Jungkook gives you a little smile, “I’ll go downstairs now. Jelena told me that she might have a lead and she needs a vampire’s help for it. Take your time, we have everything under control.”

Jungkook wants to stand up and leave but you pull him back. He looks down at you and his hand clutched tightly in yours. You guide it to your lips, leaving a soft kiss on his knuckles.

“Thank you”, you whisper.

Jungkook smiles, brushing his thumb over your skin gently. He leans down and kisses your knuckles.

“Eat your porridge. You need the strength”, he says softly and slips his hand out of your grasp to leave for good.

You leave your room once breakfast was finished. The rooms are all empty. The kitchen doors leading into the garden are closed. Only the handles, pulled into an open position, let you know where you will find everyone. You abandon your empty porridge bowl in the sink and slip outside.

The air is cold and wet. The ocean is loud from the storm brewing on the horizon. The sky is dark. You pull your jacket tighter around you and hurry to the shed.

Its doors are leaned shut. They open easily.

Heads turn into your direction instantly. Meredith calls your name, hurrying to you in big steps. She engulfs your hands in hers, using the momentum to pull you into a hug.

“This is terrible, oh this is so terrible. Poor Yoongi”, she says with great sadness in her voice. She squeezes you softly, “and you. Oh, you must be so confused.”

You get lost in her hug, squeezing your eyes shut.

“I don’t know what to do”, you confess, “all I try, fails.”

“I know how you feel. Come”, she breaks away from you, taking your hand, “we can celebrate your powers later. We have work to do.”

“Can you help us, Meredith?”

“We will do everything in our power and knowledge to get Yoongi out of this situation”, she promises you, leading you to the working desk.

Jungkook welcomes you by his side, rubbing his hand up and down your lower back just once before he looks back at the work ahead.

His blood is distributed between ten metal bowls, while another ten bowls show his dried up blood.

“What happened here?” you ask.

“Trial and error of different spells. Dragana knows which spell Namjoon used to curse Yoongi.”

“You do?” you address Dragana.

She nods her head, “Jungkook told us how the cursed wood entered Yoongi’s system. The curse manifested itself by infecting the lungs and later spreading to the blood system. So we infected Jungkook’s blood with splinters of wood, which I laced with the same curse, and then we tried different methods of healing.”

“You can test spells like that?” you gasp.

“Of course you can. Why? How have you been testing your spells?”

So all those vampires you killed were useless, senseless killings. You feel sick to the stomach, but force it down because you have to concentrate.

“Differently”, you whisper and to your gratefulness they don’t ask further questions. Perhaps deep down, they already knew the answer and with it, knew that it was impossible to confess.

“As you can see, every spell we tried until now hasn’t worked. The curse still boiled Jungkook’s blood until it was gone”, Dragana continues, pointing at the bowls.

“I see. Which spells did you try?”

Dragana explains them to you and to every single one, you have to tell them that you already tried it before.

“This is a stubborn curse, isn’t it?” Jelena says.

“Of course it is. It is Namjoon’s doing”, Meredith says, “if he works together with them, it is no wonder that the curse is as stubborn as it is.”

“Who is he working with?” you ask.

“A coven of witches, who think their purpose is to serve evil. They gain their powers from death and pain and Namjoon has been working with them for centuries.”

“I see. This is terrible. Maybe that is how he always escaped us. Could the witches have put a cloaking spell on him?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

“So he was right”, you murmur.

“What do you say?”

“When I talked to Namjoon in the dungeon, he told me that he wanted us to capture him. That everything was going according to his plans. Holy fuck, he was right. He actually wanted us to find him”, you dig your nails into the wood in a furious grip, “I’m going to kill him. Even if it’s the last thing that I’ll do”, you press out through gritted teeth.

“Hey ___”, Jungkook whispers, rubbing your back, “calm down.”

“W-what?” you stutter, looking at him.

“Calm down. Look.”

He points at one of the bowls. His once untouched blood has boiled down completely.

“Did I do that?” you gasp, looking at Meredith for help.

Her brows are furrowed in slight worry.

“But I didn’t even do anything.”

“Yes, but your magic did”, she touches your forehead, “oh, you are so messy in there. Dear oh dear, you have no focus.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means that you haven’t learned how to focus your magic yet, have you?”

You shake your head, “Meredith, is it dangerous?”

“It can be if you allow it to continue for too long. You could lose control over your magic and that could have fatal consequences.”

“Fatal?” you gasp.

“What do you mean fatal? She can die?” Jungkook gasps, grabbing your hand tightly, “Meredith, you have to help her. She can’t die.”

“Everything is okay for now, don’t worry”, she calms him down, “you are with us now and we can keep an eye on you.”

Jungkook exhales in relief, loosening his grip just slightly.

“Thank you. I seriously wouldn’t know what I’d do without you guys. I know nothing, seriously”, you say.

“That’s not true. You managed to do quite a lot of spells without any prior knowledge. You have talent, you just need practice”, Meredith assures you.

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“Thank you.”

“But for now let’s make sure the magic doesn’t overwhelm you again. Jelena can you get the focus bracelet from the cellar?”

“I will. ___ have you any colour wishes?”

“Blue”, you say without hesitation.

“Blue”, she repeats, “I wonder why that is”, she says and hurries away in light steps.

And while she is busy getting the bracelet, the rest of you continue the research. You try many spells that day. Many, many spells. You use different tools and devices, speak different languages, whisper long forgotten words and yet the result is always the same. The curse boils Jungkook’s blood until there is nothing left. You even take more of Jungkook’s blood to test out more spells, but before you could find a solution, you run out of cursed wood. It was late into the night when that happens. The witches were all exhausted, so were you. And yet while everyone went to sleep for the night, you stayed up. The witches forbade you to go to the shed alone and while you really wanted to, you listened. They knew better than you.

So you stayed in the living room where months ago you found your friends unconscious. The candles surrounding you have almost burned down completely, barely casting any light. This is exactly how you feel. Barely shining.

You thought that today would be a good day. That the witches would figure out how you could heal Yoongi and yet they have come to as little solutions as you did. You aren’t angry at them, you are just frustrated at the entire situation.

“There you are.”

You turn your head just in time to be able to watch Jungkook sit down on the sofa next to you.

“The others all went to sleep already”, he tells you, studying your face when you give him no answer, “what are you doing here?”

“Thinking.”

“I think we made progress today.”

“No, we didn’t.”

“Yes, we did. The knife. The knife we found in one of the books. We will find the right spell for it.”

It was Dragana who found it. It was an old drawing of a knife which was once used to extract poison from people. Nature witches used them whenever they healed people in their villages. As of now, you haven’t found the right spell yet.

“Maybe.”

“I’m sure of it”, Jungkook says.

You say nothing to it. You wouldn’t know what to say. So you lift your arm and point at the rug. There is a big stain on it.

“You were passed out right there. Your drink was spilled all over the rug and your legs were all bended weirdly”, you say.

Jungkook looks at you with confusion in his eyes.

“I was so scared back then”, you confess, “thinking about it now makes me laugh. I was such a wimp.”

Jungkook scoffs, “don’t say that. You were never a wimp. Hell, you’ve always been a badass.”

“Tzt, yeah sure.”

“Hey”, Jungkook nudges your arm, “stop that. I’m serious.”

You sneak a glance at him. He has his brows furrowed in seriousness.

“You really think so?” you ask him to which he nods his head.

“You stayed when you found out about our secret, survived way too much shit and you saved all of us. Back then I mean. You saved all of us and you were just a human back then.”

“Mhm”, you turn back to study the stain on the rug, “I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I knew about my powers back then.”

“I get that, but you did all of that even without powers, so I don’t think that you would have needed them back then.”

“I guess.”

“I’m serious, ___”, Jungkook insists, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“I know, I appreciate it”, you tell him, reaching up to pat his hand.

It feels like such a long time ago. The stain looks fresh and yet for you it looks like a part of a time far too long ago. You regret that time. The fight with Yoongi seems even more awful these days. So many days wasted with fighting instead of hugging him close. You break your eyes away from the stain and look at Jungkook instead.

He looked at the stain as well, but changed his gaze to you when he feels his eyes on you. He gives you a shy smile when he does, one you try to retort but fail.

“Jungkook, I miss him so much”, you choke out in a trembling voice. 

Jungkook’s smile falls, immense sadness replaces it. 

“I miss him too”, he whispers, clearly fighting with his tears.

“I can’t bear it anymore. This, this hollowness”, you hit your own chest, “when he left, he took the part which was happy and bright and which loved life. I don’t see any beauty in life anymore. And no hope. I lost all of my hope.”

“I share your pain, but I don’t think you lost all hope”, he takes your hand and squeezes it gently, “if you had, you wouldn’t keep fighting. You wouldn’t move heaven and hell to find a cure and you wouldn’t keep trying new spells.”

“I don’t know for how long I can still do this”, you confess and whimper, “I don’t want to be without him anymore. I love him so much and now he is…now he is gone”, you barely get out the last part before everything gets too much and you sob. 

“Come here”, Jungkook acts instantly. He pulls you atop his lap and hugs you against him. Like this, he cradles you in his strong arms and rocks your bodies from side to side soothingly. He sobs softly, giving you a tight squeeze.

“I miss him too”, he confesses between your shared sobs, “I spend most of my nights crying because I miss him so much.”

“It hurts so much.”

“It hurts unbearably.”

You both sob into the other as your arms squeeze the other for comfort. It may sound most peculiar, but it feels good to cry with Jungkook. He understands you. He truly and really understands you. The others may miss Yoongi, but they never learned how it felt to be in love with him and to be loved in return. But Jungkook knows. He knows and because of it, feels your pain. And it feels healing to cry with him because for the first time in a long time, you don’t have to carry the pain alone. 

The first two weeks after you lost Yoongi, you and Jungkook shared every night together. Back then, you cried in each other’s arms until you passed out in exhaustion. You shared the pain and felt comfort through it. Even if just the littlest amount. You faded away once the third week nearly passed and left Jungkook to cry alone while you became gradually insane from failed research. 

Now that you are in his arms again and you cry over the emptiness Yoongi left behind, you are reminded once again why you didn’t entirely break in those first two weeks. It was because you shared the pain with Jungkook and found comfort in being really understood. 

You lift your head during a moment where your tears stopped. Jungkook can barely see through the thick remnants of tears and yet he does. He sees you. And he understands and feels understood in return. You and he reach for each other’s faces at the same time, your thumbs wipe your tears away. 

“Will we get him back?” you ask.

“We have to believe in it”, he says, “I want to believe in it.”

“I want to too, but it hurts me so much.”

“It hurts me too”, he tugs your face down until your noses touch. Your eyes close, “but we can lean on each other. Yeah? We can cry and hug and share the pain.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I want to do that. Kook, I’m so  sorry that I pushed you away.”

“I know you got lost in finding a cure”, he assures you, “it did hurt me a little. Yeah, I was hurting at first. I was in so much pain and then you pushed me away too.”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s coming so late, but I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, I understand that you had more important things to do”, he says and kisses your lips. Gently and full of love, “thank you for crying with me tonight. I feel so broken, but you make it a little easier.”

“I feel broken too. If I think about it for too long again, I’ll start crying without stopping.”

“Lean on me”, he offers and you take him up on it instantly. You rest your cheek on his shoulder, closing your eyes as you inhale his scent. 

Jungkook smells gentle. He smells tender and soft and clean. He doesn’t wear perfume which will make you think of an attractive man like Yoongi and Hoseok do. Nor does he wear scents which remind you of a gentleman like Taehyung and Seokjin do. Jungkook doesn’t wear perfume and yet he smells incredibly good. Gentle and soft. You like to describe him this way because it fits him so very well.

“I thought that we would finally be successful here”, you whisper brokenly, “I thought that they would know of things I haven’t read about yet, but we didn’t achieve anything.”

“I understand you so well”, Jungkook speaks in whispers while his hands run up and down your back, “but maybe the knife will be the right thing to use? You didn’t try this out yet.”

“Even if it does work, how should we activate it? We don’t know the right spell. We, we need a nature witch for it and we don’t know any.”

“Then we’ll look around until we find one. I’ll drive you to wherever we need to be. And, and then you can use my blood as often as you need to until you know the right spell.”

You hug him to you tighter because there are no words to describe how grateful you are for him, for his optimism and his ability to think of solutions. You have no energy or hope left tonight. You are so thankful that he can tell you hopeful things you would have never thought of. Jungkook understands what your gentle squeezes means and he squeezes you right back

“Kookie, I think my grandma was a nature witch”, you whisper.

“Really? What makes you think that?” he asks.

“When I was a little girl, my mum always told me about grandma Lilly and that she was crazy in the head. That’s what mum called it.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, my mum told me that grandma Lilly always wanted to teach her about witchcraft when she was a little girl and that she always spoke of demons lingering in the woods behind her house.”

“Are you for real? And your mother didn’t believe her?”

“Of course not, she’s my mum. She never really believed in the supernatural. Not ghosts or demons or magic. The world is explained through science and facts for her, not magic. I was on her side once upon a time, but I was wrong big times.”

Jungkook chuckles, you retort it.

“But I know now that grandma Lilly was right”, you say, feeling your chest tighten in sadness, “magic is real, ghosts actually whisper in the nights and demons are very much part of this world. Goddamn it, I regret it so much that I never visited her once I got my first car.”

“You didn’t?”

You shake your head, sighing in sadness.

“Grandma Lilly lived very far away from any kind of civilisation. You had to drive through tense forests, cross way too many shaky bridges and drive on narrow gravel roads. Her house was surrounded by a dense forest. I think they were conifer trees. And on the south border of her garden a brook was running right past her flower beds. I think she grew stinging nettles and hogweed there. I don’t know exactly, I was always scared of that corner because she said that the plants there will hurt me a lot if I touched them, so I stayed away as a little girl.”

“Thankfully you did, hogweed burns are no joke.”

“Yeah, they really aren’t”, you agree and continue, “but other than that, her garden was so beautiful. She had many flowers beds, most were filled with herbs or healing flowers. She used them to make potions. That’s how she called them and as a kid I always thought that she was joking, but I know better now”, you say, letting out a small, sad chuckle, “she also grew all of her food herself and had a separate house for her animals. She never killed any of them, they were all her friends. She told me that she talks to them and that they want to give them their milk or eggs or fur as a token of friendship for keeping them safe.”

“And you didn’t believe her again?”

“Yeah, sadly I always thought that she was just saying that to amaze me.”

“I guess, it’s hard to believe in stuff like that when you don’t really live through it yourself.”

“Yeah, most definitely”, you agree, nodding your head, “but I think”, you continue, “I think deep down I always knew that my grandma wasn’t lying. Her place felt magical the moment you sat foot on her property. The sun was always brighter and the plants always healthier and somehow the strong storms in summer and winter never seemed to damage her place. It was like the trees and branches refused to fall on her land. And I slept so well”, you say and smile, “my bed was always too big for me, but she put lots of pillows around me so I always felt safe. At night she would bring me a mug of warm milk with spices from her garden and honey from her bee friends and then she would tell me one of her magical adventure stories and I would fall asleep and oftentimes dream of being part of her adventures.”

“Her home sounds really nice. I bet you had really good days there”, Jungkook says with awe in his voice.

“I did”, you smile, “not many because my mum never really trusted grandma Lilly to take good care of me, but I think that she was scared that grandma would show me something magical and therefore confuse me.”

“Would that really have been so bad though?”

“No, I don’t think so. Especially now. I would have loved to have my grandma teach me magic. Just imagine what I could have done if I already knew about my magic since I was a kid.”

Jungkook sways your body softly, “I’m sorry ___, that really would have been cool.”

“Yeah, it would have been”, you say and give his body a soft squeeze, “I really miss grandma Lilly.”

“Did she die already?”

“Yes, a few years ago. The official story is that she developed early dementia and got confused and one night she wandered into the woods too deep and died there from the cold. When the police found her body three days later, half of her neck was torn out. They said that an animal got to her.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“Of course I don’t. Just think about it. She fought demons in the forest and had half her neck torn out.”

“Holy moly, ___. Vampires”, Jungkook says.

“Exactly. Fucking damn it, she probably died fighting a vampire. That would explain why she talked about demons in the forests and why I had to be inside the moment the sun was setting and why she told me to never ever tell a stranger to come inside. You know.”

You lift your head to look at Jungkook. His eyes race between yours as his entire attention was on you and your story.

“She had fencing all around her garden. It was so high and the ends were sharp and placed in a slight angle facing the forests. She told me that it keeps the demons from trying to snatch her away.”

Jungkook widens his eyes.

“Holy fuck, your grandma actually fought vampires, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, she did”, you say, “I just know she did. And we didn’t believe her. Fuck, my mum called her crazy and I believed her, because obviously a little girl is going to believe her own mum. And now it’s driving me insane because I had her.”

You widen your eyes in emotion.

“I had my grandma right there. Knowing everything and, and sharing my, my”, you look at your own hands, realising that they are shaking just slightly, “my magic. And I didn’t believe her. I’m going insane. I want to talk to her and see her again and ask her so many things.”

Jungkook takes your shaking hands and cradles them against his chest. It lessens the shakes and grounds you to him. His thumbs draw circles on your skin, his eyes draw you in and give you a sense of comfort.

“Maybe you could?” he suggests.

“How? Last time I checked, bringing back the dead isn’t really my forte.”

“Your memories. Maybe we could go there together and look for clues in her place.”

“You think this could work?” you gasp.

“We could try?” Jungkook tilts his head to the side, “you’d just have to let me inside and then guide me to the year you want to return to.”

“Holy shit, Kook. You would do that for me?”

“I would do everything for you”, he says.

You smile, reaching out to caress his cheek. Jungkook leans into it.

“Then let’s do it. Trying won’t hurt.”

“Exactly”, Jungkook nods his head excitedly, “lie down, let’s get comfortable.”

And so it happens that you take off your magic rings, lie down on the sofa and Jungkook lies himself on top of you. He rests his head on your chest, reaching up to cup your cheek with one hand.

“Now close your eyes and think of the year.”

You close your eyes, thinking back to this one summer where the raspberry bushes carried so much fruit.

Your body tingles and your head feels dizzy for just second.

Red behind your eyelids and the sound of birds.

You open your eyes. This forest. You know it. It’s the forest behind your grandma’s house. It worked!

“Woah, this place is even better than I imagined it to be”, Jungkook gasps, looking around himself, “wow, your memories are beautiful.”

There is colour all around you. The light is taunted by a golden hue, which gives the trees and plants around you an almost unnatural colour to it. Green and yet not really green. It is that distinct green the world gets when the setting sun kisses the earth just right. 

“Those are my memories”, you murmur, lifting your head to count the branches on the high conifer trees just as you did when you were a little girl.

Too many to count. Just like in the past.

You lower your head, shifting your attention to Jungkook who is just a few feet down the path. He is looking at you. His skin looks so healthy and alive, not at all pale like in the real world.

He stretches his arm to you, opening his hand. You jog to catch up with him, taking his hand in yours.

“Is that the way?” he asks.

“Yes, that’s the way. Just past those trees”, you tell him, “follow me. I know this path from memory.”

There is the fallen over tree to your right with its white mushrooms growing all over its bark. Just past that, to your left, there is the rock. It is black and covered in moss. It seemed so big when you were little, but now it is only reaching you to your knees.

You pass it and duck out of the way of some low hanging branches. Jungkook does the same, inhaling deeply afterwards.

“It smells so good here”, Jungkook says.

“I know. That’s grandma’s raspberry pie. She just called me for pie”, you tell him, running, “quick. The pie is so yummy when it’s still warm.”

Just a few more steps. There it is. The gate. Opened just how you left it when you went on your adventure.

“I’m coming grandma!” a little girl calls out behind you.

You and Jungkook stop abruptly, turning on your heels.

“Holy shit”, you press out, watching the ghost of your past run down the path.

“Is this you?” Jungkook asks with widened eyes.

“This is me”, you whisper, watching with a lump in your throat as you run and run and run with a big smile on your face and with dirt on your hands.

You come closer and closer until you run right through you and Jungkook. You feel a cold shiver run down your spine as it happens and for just a second it seems as if your past self falters in her steps. She looks over her shoulder. Her eyes are focused right on you and Jungkook. You squeeze his hand tighter, feeling dizzy. Can she see you? She blinks her eyes twice then turns back around and begins running again.

“Grandma, I found mushrooms again! The white ones!” childhood you yells excitedly as she stumbles past the gate and runs through the flower meadow, which your grandma kept behind her house.

So she didn’t see you. You feel relief and yet also disappointment. Oh, how you would have loved to tell her that all those painful days she will go through during her teens will feel manageable one day and that she will find happiness again once she stops believing the hurtful words her parents yell at her.

“Grandma, look!” past you calls out, skipping over the meadow without any care in the world.

You follow her, tugging Jungkook with you instinctively. You barely even notice him by your side, not when the memory of this day is so clear before you.

Grandma Lilly steps out of the house then.

The ache in your chest makes you stop. She looks just as beautiful as you remember her to look. Her smile is just as warm.

“Look at you, my honeybee. You got your hands all dirty. It must have been a good day”, she welcomes past you back with open arms in which she jumps happily.

With a squeal leaving her lips she allows your grandma to lift her and then twirl her around. The laughter she lets out makes you feel tight in your chest. It hurts to see you that happy with the woman who loved you so much and knowing that you can never have this again.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook whispers, squeezing your hand as he watches tears roll down your cheeks.

“I don’t know”, you press out, yearning for a hug from your grandma.

The reflection of your past cuddles into your grandma’s chest and the yearning hurts even more.

“Grandma, I want cake”, she says and closes her eyes.

“Of course, I baked the biggest pie for you, my honeybee”, your grandma says, caressing the back of her head. Her eyes scan over the garden to the gate. For just a second it feels as if her eyes are lingering on you and Jungkook.

“Hey”, you mouth the word, lifting your hand to wave at her despite knowing she can’t see you.

Your grandma smiles.

It can’t be. Did she actually see you?

She sets down past you.

“Go inside honeybee and prepare some tea for the pie, alright?”

“Why are you not coming with me, grandma?”

“I need to make sure that the gates are safe in case demons decide to come tonight, okay?”

“Yes grandma. I’ll make tea for you too.”

Your grandma kisses past you’s cheek.

“Thank you, honeybee”, a soft pat to her butt follows, “now off you go.”

Past you soon disappears inside the cottage and with it conjures a wall of thick fog right by the door.

“What is happening?” Jungkook asks quietly, staring at your grandma with big eyes, “why is she staring at us?”

“It can’t be”, you whisper, slipping out of Jungkook’s hold, “grandma?” you call out, walking to her in slow steps, “grandma, can you see me?”

She smiles, “I was waiting for you, my honeybee. Look at you, you have grown so much”, she says.

“Grandma”, you press out, running to her for the hug she offers with open arms.

The hug feels like coming home after a painful day and for a moment you feel eight years old again, unburdened by the world and with nothing but good memories in your mind.

“Grandma, you are real. Oh god, I missed you so much”, you sob, squeezing her tightly.

She seems so small now that you are all grown up. She was always so tall when you were a little girl and now you have to bend down to reach her waist. But the feeling hasn’t changed. It is still as warm and nice and safe as it was back then.

“Oh, my honeybee. I missed you too”, she says, caressing the back of your head only how she can, “now, now stop crying. We have lots to talk about.”

You lift your head, letting her cup your cheeks and dry your tears.

“I can see that you have finally found your powers”, she says with unconditional love in her eyes.

“Grandma, we were wrong. Mum was wrong about you and, and I was wrong for believing her. E-everything you said is real. Grandma, demons and ghost and magic exist and, and vampires they-“

“Hush, I know”, she soothes you, “I know, my honeybee, I know. Don’t blame yourself or your mother for not believing. It wasn’t your time yet to believe and it was better that you two lived peacefully because of your disbelief.”

“Grandma, I’m sorry.”

“For what, my honeybee?”

“For never coming to visit you when I got my first car.”

“It’s okay, my honeybee. You came back to me just as I had envisioned.”

“Envisioned? You knew that I would come back again?”

“Of course I did, just as I know about the day you found your powers. Oh sweetheart”, she says and brushes her thumbs over your cheek, “his name is Yoongi, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t cry. He will be safe.”

“He will? How, how do you know? Grandma, I don’t know anything. I, I have no idea what I’m doing. I, I can’t wake him. I don’t know how. Or, or what I did. I miss him so much.”

“I know, honeybee. Calm down now and rest, I’m here now.”

You tear up because in this moment you feel so relieved that you wanted to cry.

“Come now”, she says, placing her arm around your waist, “we have lots to talk about.”

You follow her, holding her oh so tightly in case she decided to disappear again.

“We should take the main entrance. We wouldn’t want to actually start the memory would we?” she says and chuckles her signature chuckle. It always sounds a little whimsical, as if she was plotting something mischievous.

“So you know about the memory fog?”

“Of course I do”, she says and looks over her shoulder, “come now, Jungkook.”

“Me?” he squeaks out, pointing at his own chest.

“Yes. You.”

“I-I…okay”, he stutters and begins running to catch up with you.

Your grandma drapes her arm around his waist, painting a bright blush over his cheeks.

“Tell me, sweetheart, do you like raspberry pie?”

“Yes, I do. I think. I never had it before”, Jungkook says shyly.

She chuckles.

“Well, you will love mine.”

Jungkook lowers his head and blushes more.

Your grandma guides you over the threshold of her cottage.

“How?” Jungkook gasps, speaking out loud what you were thinking.

“Sweet boy, you are no vampire. In here you are human just like the rest of us.”

“I’m human?” Jungkook presses out, staring at his own hands. He gasps as if he realised something, then he presses his hands to his chest.

His eyes tear up in realisation.

“I have a heartbeat”, he croaks, looking at you, “___, I’m alive.”

“I don’t understand. The last time I was in memories, Yoongi had to actively change his being to get a heartbeat.”

“That is because those were his memories. This right here are your memories, my honeybee. You decide the rules in here and it seems that you wanted Jungkook to be alive.”

“___”, Jungkook whispers.

“I did?” you breathe, looking at the blushing man with widened eyes, “…I did.”

“___”, Jungkook takes your hands to kiss them softly, “thank you. Thank you so much.”

“I made you human, wow”, you whisper.

Jungkook giggles happily, resting his soft cheek on your hand. His warmth feels different than on other days. Honest and real. He closes his eyes and giggles again. His happiness makes you smile. You are glad that he feels happy.

“Now sit down you two, let me get you some pie”, your grandma says with softness in her gaze. She can see that you care a lot about the blushing boy and that he cares a lot about you.

Your grandma sits you down by her kitchen table. Once upon a time, you had to climb the chair to reach the desk. It feels so peculiar to sit down normally and see everything perfectly.

She places a plate of pie in front of you and Jungkook then sits down opposite of you.

“Eat, sweethearts”, she says with a smile.

The pie melts on your tongue like a memory of good times. And it is. It is a memory of good times. A memory, you thought to never be able to return to.

This evening you stay by the kitchen table for a long time. You share two cans of tea and eat another piece of pie. Jungkook eats just as much. You talk a lot with your grandma. About everything you never got a chance to talk about.

How you struggled for most of your high school years because of the other children making life miserable for you.

How you didn’t go to university right away, but instead wasted away in depression. How once you hit twenty years of age, you overcame that phase in your life with the help of books and how you began reading as a hobby ever since then. You also tell her about your first job in a bookshop and that you loved it a lot, but that in the end you had to give it up because the shop closed for lack of customers.

You tell her about how your parents moved away from here when you turned twenty one and how they took you with them because you had nowhere else to be. How you lived in the dense city until you were twenty four and how you fought with them a lot because the space was sparse and your mindsets were always different. How they told you to be careful in college and that they will think of you, but then they never really called or texted. How you aren’t angry at them because you could have called as well, but you didn’t.

You also tell her how you plan on visiting them soon, maybe once Yoongi is awake again so he can come with you.

You tell her about all the plants you are growing and that Yoongi gave you your own greenhouse as a present. She smiled at that and took your hand.

And then you tell her about how your life went from normal college days to days filled with vampires and witches in just a blink of an eye. You tell her about Taehyung and she listened with slight concern in her eyes, but with understanding in her touch.

You don’t talk about your problems that night. You go to sleep after your grandma made you and Jungkook warm milk with spices from her garden and honey from her bee friends. Your grandma wishes you both a restful night and promises that in this time and place nothing from the real world can hurt you. Then she turned off the lights and a wall of fog appeared between the rest of the cottage and your bedroom.

“___?” Jungkook whispers into the darkness.

“Yes?” you answer him.

“Are you sleeping?”

“No.”

The mattress shakes as Jungkook shimmies closer. He comes so close that you can see the outline of his features appear out of the darkness. His eyes are open, they reflect the faint moonlight shining through the curtains. They aren’t ruby as they normally are, but obsidian just as human eyes get.

“Can I talk to you?” he whispers.

“Sure, why are we whispering?”

“Just so”, he says quietly.

“Okay”, you answer him just as quietly.

“I don’t understand this place”, he whispers, “how can we eat and drink and fall asleep when they are nothing but your memories?”

“I’m not sure either. When I was in Yoongi’s memories with him, everything around us felt real too. I could feel the weather and smell the flowers. And Yoongi told me that there are many vampires who lose themselves in their memories because living in them is better than living in the real world.”

“So you think that we are still in your memories? And that this is all just a figment of your imagination?”

“I can’t say. I don’t understand either how my grandma is so real. She shouldn’t be able to interact with us or know that we are here.”

“Maybe it’s because you are both witches from the same family. Maybe we aren’t really in your memories but in some sort of witchy world in between your actual memories and afterlife.”

“Like a limbo type of place?”

“Yeah, maybe not that biblical, but who knows what happens when witches die. Maybe there is a realm for witch spirits to roam around in. Maybe this is actually your grandma’s spirit and this place is your family’s spirit realm.”

“It sounds possible. It would explain why my memories aren’t black and white like Yoongi’s memories and why she was able to see us.”

“It would also explain why childhood you stopped when she passed through us. Maybe she felt our presence. Can you remember feeling cold back then?”

“I can’t really tell, lots of weird stuff happened at my grandma’s place. Maybe I actually passed through us back then”, you say, studying Jungkook’s features, “holy fuck Kook, this all makes so much sense and yet it feels so unexplainable. How are we here? What is happening? Is my grandma really here?”

Jungkook reaches for your hand to hold it in comfort.

“Let’s just say that it’s a sort of spirit realm and she is real. We can’t find more answers tonight either way, the door is shut with fog.”

You sneak a glance over his shoulder. Impenetrable darkness lingers were once the door was.

“I guess you’re right. We just have to wait and see.”

“Yeah exactly. Let’s try to sleep tonight and see about it tomorrow”, he says.

“Yes, okay”, you say, closing your eyes, “I honestly need a night of sleep either way. I’m so goddamn exhausted.”

“I can imagine. You’ve been working so much lately”, he says.

“I had to.”

“I know, this isn’t an accusation. At least you did more than I did. All I did was cry like a loser.”

“Don’t say that Kook, if I wasn’t so occupied with finding a cure, I would cry too. All that keeps me from breaking down is the thought that only I can solve this. I can’t waste time crying when I’m the only one capable of fixing this.”

“I’m sorry you feel this way. I will contribute more from now on.”

“No Kook, this wasn’t an accusation. You did so much already.”

“I did?”

“You took me back to Meredith’s place and then brought me here. And tomorrow we will talk to my grandma and maybe finally find out how to fix this shit. I wouldn’t be as far as I currently am if it wasn’t for you.”

Jungkook smiles, squeezing your hand.

“This means I actually did something, I’m so happy”, he confesses in a whisper.

“You did. Thank you”, you say, shimmying closer until you can leave a soft kiss on his forehead.

Jungkook exhales shakily, lifting his head to look at you. His eyes are glassy and there is something in his gaze that lets you know that he can’t remember the last time someone kissed his forehead.

“Should we cuddle as we sleep?” you suggest.

“Yes”, he breathes, barely getting the word out.

You scoot closer, taking him in your arms.

“No”, he says.

“Hm?”

“Can, can I hold you?” he stutters, “I, I can’t hold you like I want to in real life. In here I don’t feel affected by your smell and, and I could hold you without wanting to hurt you. Please, can I?”

“Of course you can. Gosh Kook, you are so sweet.”

“Thank you. Okay, so. You have to come closer and I’ll put my arm under your head.”

“Like this?”

Jungkook closes his arms around you in the new position, pressing you against his chest.

“Just like this”, he whispers, nuzzling his nose into the crown of your head, “thank you”, he says shakily, “this feels so good.”

“Yes, it feels so nice”, you tell him, snaking your arm around his waist to pull him close.

You will rest for tonight. You have decided that. You will find rest tonight and you will find it in Jungkook’s gentle hold, surrounded by pillows and with the sounds of your grandma’s garden filling your ears.

The fog by the door is gone come morning. The scream of your grandma’s rooster wakes you. Three times he greets the sun and then a short pause follows. You peel your eyes open. You haven’t moved an inch. You are still against Jungkook’s chest with your arm around his waist and your senses engulfed by his smell. He feels warmer than he did last night, which brings out the sweetness of him even better. He doesn’t seem to be awake yet, judging by the calm – barely noticeable – breathing he is doing. He must be really relaxed for him to breathe that slowly.

You close your eyes again and snuggle closer to let his body shield you from the sunlight. Like this, the bridge of your nose is touching his chest. You can feel his heartbeat that way.

Rhythmic and calm. Constant and never faltering.

Fascinating.

Jungkook is human in here. His heartbeat is real, his warmth is real too, his breathing has a purpose. It is both fascinating and unexplainable to think about. How is he human? Is it because you actually made him human? Or perhaps those are the rules of the spirit realm. Perhaps vampires or other magical creatures, which aren’t witches, have to lose their powers first before they can enter. Perhaps in here, curses take no place and Jungkook has been ridden of his vampiric curse the moment he set foot in this place. Perhaps in here everyone is equal and no power could shift the balance of this realm.

Whatever the answer might be, you are happy for the way it is. Jungkook seemed so happy last night. You want happiness for him, because he deserves it. He works so hard to get better, but you know that it is still hard for him. At least in here he can relax and be himself. At least in here he can find comfort.

It feels nice to know that out of all the places it is your grandmother’s home. You can share the comfort she always made you feel with Jungkook. It is a nice thing to do.

And perhaps one day you can visit this place with Yoongi as well. You can introduce him to your grandma and then you can make flower crowns and later eat pie.

The rooster crows again. Once, then twice and a third time right after that.

Jungkook seems to wake up from it. He inhales deeply which presses his chest into your face for just a second before he exhales and his chest sinks again.

“Hm”, he lets out in hum, “hm?”

His hands begin moving, travelling along your upper arm and the back of your neck. He whimpers softly, as if he realised what he was doing, pressing you oh so close afterwards. His arms close around you tightly, his chest shudders in a shaky breath. This must be such a precious moment for him. To wake up and to realise that he was able to hold a human for the entire night. He must be so happy right now.

“Good morning”, you greet him quietly.

“Hey”, he presses out, squeezing your body, “oh god, you’re so warm and soft.”

“You too. It’s really nice.”

“It’s so nice, oh my god ___ it’s so nice”, he says, letting out a shuddering breath, “I just want to”, he squeezes you as tightly as possible, squeaking as he does, “you know?”

He makes you chuckle, “I know, I feel the same. You give amazing hugs.”

Jungkook squeezes you again and then again and because he can’t stop, he does it a third time as well.

“Gosh Kook”, you say, caressing his back.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop now. I, I just never woke up with, with the human still a-alive before.”

This tugs at your heartstrings. Poor boy.

“Don’t stop, sweets”, you tell him, “give me all the cuddles you want to.”

“Thank you, ___”, he says, pulling you close again, “thank you so much, oh I never want to get up again. This is heaven, I don’t want to stop.”

You let your eyes fall closed, running your fingers up and down his back mindlessly. Quite frankly, you don’t want to stop either. You feel so selfish to admit it, but having a good morning again feels nice. Oh you hate yourself so much for even thinking it, but your last countless mornings were filled with so much pain and exhaustion and fear of what the day may bring that this fleeting moment in this unexplainable realm of memory and reality feels addictive.

Outside the donkey answers the call of the rooster and somewhere downstairs the front door seems to close. Your grandma must be finally up, now leaving the cottage to feed the animals.

“It’s really busy here”, Jungkook says.

“Yeah right? It’s the best way to be woken up. I always loved waking up to the animals.”

“I can see that. I loved it too.”

“What do you mean?”

“I come from a family of farmers, well, fishers to be more exact.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, we had a small house by the coast down in Busan and had two boats. My father and uncle were the captains of them and we had five employees, including my older brother and me and my cousin. My mother and aunt took care of our house when we went out. We had lots of animals too. Chickens and goats and also so many cats and dogs.”

“That sounds so nice. Gosh, I never even imagined you as a fisher.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but it suits you. It must have been a good life.”

“I guess, it was until the war started. We all had to enlist, you know? My brother and my cousins and I. We had no choice, they sent letters to all the houses telling the families that all men between the age of sixteen and thirty needed to enlist or else they would have thrown everyone in jail for treason.”

“That’s awful, what the hell.”

“It was. I never wanted to be a soldier. I just wanted to be with my girlfriend and my family, not f-fight in a war I had no guilt in”, he confesses, hiding his face in the crown of your head for comfort, “I still dream of the fighting sometimes. I don’t wish this upon anyone, not even my enemies.”

“I’m sorry, Kook. I can’t even imagine how awful it must have been, but I am here for you.”

“Thank you”, he whispers, “thank you so much, for everything. I don’t ever want to let you go. It feels like it did back then.”

“Back then?”

“When I was human and I would wake up for a day at sea.”

“Yeah? Did you also wake up hugging your girlfriend?”

“Oh god no”, he giggles, “we weren’t allowed to stay overnight, because we weren’t married yet.”

You lift your head as best as possible.

“What? Why do you look so sad?” he asks.

“You never experienced sex as a human?” you whisper, “Jungkook, oh god. Do you truly not know how it feels like?”

Jungkook lowers his eyes in coyness, “just because we weren’t allowed to, doesn’t mean we didn’t try”, he confesses, blushing vividly, “her dad had a car and she always picked me up with it. Then we drove along the coast until we found a quiet spot and we, uhm, we had sex on the backseat. We were always so paranoid to be caught, but it felt so good that we didn’t want to stop.”

“Oh dear”, you have to chuckle, “well, that is good to hear. I think I would have cried if I found out that you never even experienced sex as a human.”

“Now you don’t have to”, he smiles shyly, “don’t tell anyone though, it’s a secret.”

“Of course not. I wouldn’t dare to expose your horny ass”, you say, snickering.

Jungkook’s face lights up. He presses a kiss to your forehead and pulls you closer, keeping his lips against your skin afterwards.

“But that’s new”, he whispers, “I never woke up with a human like this. It feels so good.”

“I’m happy to be your first then. I hope we can have memories like this often.”

“Me too. I seriously want them every day.”

A thought comes to you then. Memories of the last conversation you had with Yoongi.

“If there was a cure would you take it?” you ask Jungkook.

“What do you mean?”

“If there was a cure to vampirism would you take it?”

“Yes”, he says without hesitation, “I wouldn’t even hesitate. I hate nothing more than what I am and I would do anything to change this.”

You lower your head, hiding your face in his chest. Jungkook, unaware of your racing thoughts, rests his chin on the crown of your head and smiles. He feels so relaxed right now.

“Jungkook, I have to tell you something”, you say.

“Tell me.”

“I think Yoongi found a cure to vampirism before he, you know, fell victim to Namjoon.”

“What?” Jungkook gasps, scooting back just enough that he can look at you, “why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was so preoccupied with finding a cure for whatever keeps Yoongi from us that I completely forgot about it”, you confess, “I’m sorry, but you seem so…content in here as a human and it made me think about what Yoongi told me on the night he…left. That’s how I remembered again.”

“What did he tell you?”

“That he wanted one lifetime with me.”

“Yoongi also wants to take the cure?”

“I don’t know anymore. I think I talked him out of it, but now I feel so selfish.”

“Selfish, why?”

“What if I forced him? I, I don’t know how living with all those urges is for you guys. I don’t know how it feels like to know that you can never die. I told him to not take it just yet, but to wait for darker days. It feels so selfish now.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You don’t?”

Jungkook shakes his head, “I’ve never heard of this cure before and I don’t think other vampires have. We don’t know how it works or what it does. I assume you were just worried that it might kill him or hurt him. That’s not selfish, that’s simply not wanting your lover to be in pain.”

“I guess”, you say, lowering your eyes, “but I also just wanted to keep him a little longer”, you confess, “shit, I’m sorry. I know, it’s awful to admit.”

“It’s not”, Jungkook says, “you love him and that makes you want to stay with him forever. I get it.”

“You do?”

Jungkook nods his head.

“I know I said I would take it instantly, but now that I know it’s real I feel really scared. What if we take it, but then die really young because sometimes humans die young for no other reason than that the universe is cruel?”

“You don’t have to take it. Not until we tested it out on Namjoon.”

“You want to test it out on Namjoon?”

“Yes. This was our plan. We were planning on testing it out on Namjoon to see what it does and if it is safe. And then we wanted to keep it for darker days. That was our plan before everything went downhill.”

“Wow, you had a whole plan laid out”, Jungkook says, “and I had no idea.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot about it again. A-all I’m thinking about is Yoongi. I want to safe him first. He’s already gone from us and I don’t want to think about a cure.”

Jungkook nods his head, “I understand. We’ll safe him, I promise. And then we can talk about that supposed cure. Together. With Yoongi.”

“I like how that sounds”, you breathe, “I really hope that you are right. You know, when he told me about the cure he also said that he just wanted to know that he could also end and now-”

“Now he knows”, Jungkook whispers, “it’s cruel to imagine.”

“Exactly”, you breathe, closing your eyes when Jungkook cups your cheek and dries off your tears.

“Don’t cry ___. We have your grandma now”, he whispers. 

“I know, I’m sorry I’m just so tired”, you confess, voice trembling, “I can’t do this for long anymore.”

“I know”, Jungkook breathes, leaning in to kiss the tears from your lashes, “you don’t have to. I’m here, I can carry most of it.”

“Oh god, Kook”, you whimper, twisting his shirt at the front. Your eyes, although sensitive from sadness, lock with his’, “I love you a lot, Kook.” 

Jungkook widens his eyes in surprise, lowering them a second later. 

“I love you too”, he says, “holy shit, do you mean it?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well shit”, Jungkook croaks, cupping your cheeks to squeeze them gently as he tilts your head up, “I love you so much, I-I can’t believe you feel the same.”

“Of course I do, you’re one of the sweetest people I know”, you tell him, caressing his cheeks.

They heat up under your touch, sparkly eyes almost blinding to look at from all the happiness in them. He smiles brightly.

“No you are. You are so sweet and wonderful and, and funny and pretty and I”, he stops himself, gasping for air. His eyes widen cutely, “I love you so much. I love you seriously so much.”

You smile, “I love you too, Kookie.”

Jungkook finally knows what the purpose of living is. It is being with you and loving you. He squeezes your cheeks and pulls you into a kiss. A deep and desperate kiss. The type of kiss, you would have lost yourself in on better days.

“Baby”, you whisper, breaking the kiss, “Jungkook baby, I can’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Sleep with you. I don’t feel those needs lately. I'm sorry.”

Jungkook looks sad at first, but soon deep understanding fills his features.

“I understand. I think I wouldn’t have enjoyed it fully either way. I just love you so much and knowing that you love me too, made me blind to the situation for a moment.”

“Once Yoongi is back, I promise you to make it up to you.”

“It’s okay, my baby. I don’t expect any kind of payback. Whatever happens will happen.”

“You are seriously so sweet. Thank you so much, my baby.”

Jungkook smiles, caressing your cheek.

“I just”, he falters, licking his lips. His eyes soften, “I just wanna tell you that this is what I’m training for. This is how I wanna be with you one day.”

You smile, caressing his pecs, “and you will. You are making progress each and every day and I am positive that we can have moments like this in the real world too.”

Jungkook nods his head, smiling so brightly his nose scrunches up.

Your grandmother is waiting with breakfast once you and Jungkook decide to come downstairs. She is in the middle of brewing herbal tea on her stove and listening to music on her old radio, but turns around when Jungkook greets her loudly.

“Good morning, my dear. Did you sleep well? Oh?”

You greet her by hugging her tightly, face hiding in the crook of her neck and arms tightly around her. You squeeze her gently, inhaling deeply to make sure that her scent will never leave your memories again.

She giggles mischievously, patting your back lovingly, “what a lovely surprise.”

“Good morning, grandma”, you say, stepping back to send her a smile.

“Good morning, my honeybee”, she says, running her hand down your cheek once.

“Breakfast smells amazing, grandma. I can’t wait to dig in.”

She smiles, eyes softening behind her golden framed glasses. She caresses your cheek a second time, making sure that the picture of your face will never leave her memories.

“Sit. Sit, my sweethearts. Drink tea if you want to. Milk is in the fridge. I will get berries from the garden”, she says and gestures you and Jungkook to get comfortable. She disappears through the backdoor afterwards.

Jungkook pulls out the chair for you, helping you sit comfortably. Once done, he leans down to wrap his arms around you from behind. He kisses your neck, just once and without any ulterior motive in mind. It feels nice to be loved that way, sending a warm flutter to your tummy.

He sits down next to you afterwards, pulling his chair closer to you so he can touch you innocently. He turns to face you, running his fingertips up and down your arm. You meet his gaze in a fleeting moment and backtrack, focusing on his sparkling eyes.

“What’s wrong?” you ask him.

“Nothing. I’m really happy.”

“Mhm”, you hum.

“Sorry. Ah dear”, he cups his cheeks, turning away from you in giddiness. You smile fondly because of it, turning your attention to the breakfast at hand. If you remember correctly, your grandmother’s breakfast is to die for.

“You should eat a lot. My grandma’s breakfast is amazing”, you tell Jungkook as you place some fried eggs and bacon on his plate.

“Thank you. I want to eat a lot. It smells so good”, he says, doing the same to your plate.

You and him share silence as you begin eating. The food is just way too incredible to taint it with conversation. You want to enjoy it fully. Your grandmother returns with a basket full of berries once you finished your first slice of toast and eggs. She prepares each of you a mug of steaming tea and as she washes the berries, you ask her if she knew more about this place.

“This is my home”, she answers you.

“Yes, but how is it possible that we are here?” you ask her, “that we can eat and sleep and it actually does something to us? How is Jungkook human? And why can you see us?”

“Are we in some sort of afterlife for witches?” Jungkook asks.

“One could call it like that, my dear”, she says, sitting down opposite of you. “It is a world only witches can enter. I am here because I am truly here. After a witch dies her soul enters this realm and manifests itself as a new body in this realm.”

“A new body?”

“Yes. Many choose to have a prettier, better body but I like how I looked”, she snickers, “wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes grandma, you look really beautiful.”

“I think so too, grandma”, Jungkook agrees, nodding his head vigorously, “so how come we managed to get here? It makes sense that ___ can enter the realm because she is a witch, but how come I am allowed to be here?”

“Well, this is a realm for dead souls after all and vampires are technically all dead.”

“Ah, that makes lots of sense.”

“And you are allowed to be here because ___ allowed you to enter through her consciousness. Without ___’s consent your soul would have never been able to even find this realm.”

“I see”, Jungkook says and holds your hand, “thank you so much for allowing me entrance, ___. I love it here”, he says.

“You have to keep it a secret though”, your grandmother says, nudging his arm gently.

“Of course I will. I will protect this secret with my life”, he promises and pretends to lock his lips.

Your grandmother laughs fondly, “I never doubted it. You seem like a decent young man.”

Jungkook flusters, “I try to live well. I didn’t always succeed, but I want to become better and better day by day.”

“This is noble thing to want, my dear”, she says and caresses his cheek.

Jungkook blushes, lowering his eyes shyly.

“And how did we get here?” you ask her, “I wanted to return to my memories with Jungkook and not get to this realm. How did we see my past self?”

“You must have linked yourself to this realm and walked a wrong path”, she says, “I can’t quite understand it either as getting to this realm requires a lot of training and many skilled witches still fail to do so. It is true that you started off in your memories. I must admit, that I didn’t see you at first until suddenly I felt myself become aware and then you appeared.”

“Fascinating”, Jungkook whispers, listening with parted lips.

“I think what happened was that your emotions overwhelmed you and therefore you possessed over great powers for a few seconds which then helped you reach this place. Tell me, my honeybee, have you ever had uncontrollable surges of power during very emotional moments?”

“I did! Grandma, I did. When, when Yoongi was dying and I thought that I will lose him. I-I felt so scared and heartbroken and lost and all I wanted to do was to protect him. So I screamed and then there was the bright light and all of a sudden Yoongi was unconscious and his entire body was covered in a layer of glowing light. Grandma, what does this mean?”

“I see. So it happened before.”

“It did and I think”, you hesitate.

“Go on, honeybee.”

“I think it happened when I was angry as well. There is this vampire, grandma. His name is Namjoon.”

“I know him. He is a very dangerous monster.”

“He is and grandma, okay listen. Grandma, we managed to capture him, but he hurt Yoongi because of that. And when I talked to him I got so upset for taking Yoongi from me that I felt so angry and so helpless and I just wanted to hurt him and all of a sudden he started bleeding out of his eyes because I cooked his insides. I didn’t even know how to do all of that before that. I thought of it and it just happened.”

“I see”, you grandmother says and sighs sadly, “oh, my honeybee”, she says with slight regret in her voice, “it pains me to know that despite all my efforts you have fallen into this world.”

“What?” you ask her

“You were never supposed to awaken your powers or meet such dangerous creatures.”

“Not them, grandma”, you say, taking Jungkook’s hand, “they are different from the demons in the forests or Kim Namjoon. They keep me safe and protect me and they are the only family I have left.”

“Are they? Truly?” 

“Yes. Yoongi is the reason I’m still alive. Why I’m still breathing. He kept me save even before we fell in love and, and when I’m with him I feel…” you touch your aching chest, “…I feel at peace.”

You lift your glassy gaze.

“I feel at peace because when we are together the world and all its problems seem so unimportant. When I’m with him, I want to keep smiling and laughing, because just looking at him makes me happy. I have never felt like this before, grandma”, you confess and laugh.

She laughs with you.

You wipe your tears away, smiling honestly.

“Sometimes it scares me how much I feel for him, but then he says my name and I’m not scared anymore. And it doesn’t matter that he is a vampire.”

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“Yes more than anything, more than my life. More than my-”, you falter, looking at her with fearful eyes. 

“More than your innocence, I understand.”

“You do?”

She nods her head. 

“I did terrible things for your grandpa, my honeybee.”

“You did?”

“Of course. I killed for him too. They were vampires who wanted his head. So I killed them painfully. You and I are no different.”

“I feel so awful, grandma. I, I killed people.”

You miss the confusion washing over Jungkook’s face as your eyes are focused on your grandmother’s face.

“Those monsters weren’t people. Kim Namjoon and his followers don’t deserve your remorse”, she assures you.

“But still, I feel terrible.”

“Of course you do, but you shouldn’t. I must admit that I have never met a vampire like Jungkook before.”

“Like me?”

“Yes. Still so humane and full of true love”, she says, “and I have seen glimpses of how Yoongi treats you and specks of your friends I saw as well and I must admit that I have to change my view on some vampires.”

She reaches over the table, intertwining her fingers with you.

“But not about Kim Namjoon and his followers. They are terribly twisted creatures and you did what you had to do.”

“And yet I feel like I haven’t done anything. Grandma, everything I try turns out to be wrong. I tried so much already.”

“I know, you must be so exhausted already.”

“I am. I want all of this to stop. I want to get Yoongi back and I want to keep fighting until I do, but I don’t know how long I can still take all of this defeat.”

Jungkook places his arm around you, resting his chin on your shoulder so you know that he was here for you.

“I know, but it will all be over soon. I will help you”, you grandmother promises.

“You will? Oh grandma, thank you so much”, you say, spilling tears of grateful relief.

“Don’t cry, my honeybee. Grandma's here now”, she says in a soothing voice, “now tell me everything you tried already. We need to work out what might have gone wrong and how to fix it.”

And so you begin telling her about every possible cure you already tried. About all the spells you memorised, all the relics which turned out to be useless, all the tools you carved only for them to be worthless in the end. You tell her about the countless failures, the endless nights of research, the overwhelming amount of knowledge you acquired and how nothing was of help. You tell her about the hundreds of phone calls you made to the witches you knew and the hundred phone calls you made to the vampires you knew and then the hundreds of phone calls you made to the wolves who were willing to help. You tell her about how none knew what to do and that at some point all their wishes for Yoongi’s speedy recovery felt like mockery. You tell her about your own doubts. For you as a person, your magic, your abilities, your right to love Yoongi. You tell her how you cried for too many nights until suddenly you started to feel numb to anything. You tell her about Taehyung and the others and how they worried for you. You tell her about everything while she listened and nodded her head.

Once you finished your stories, she promises that she will help as best as she can. And then you spend your day doing research together. She teaches you how to control your magic during emotional moments and while you didn’t quite understand it, she promised you that with practice you will be able to master the skill. She teaches you the proper pronunciation of spells and explains to you why certain relics didn’t work the way you wanted them to work. And you realise just how very little you actually knew about being a witch, but she assured you that you knew a great deal and then she kissed you on the cheek and said that you always were a very self-conscious person because your mother didn’t make it very easy to have faith in yourself.

The moon is high in the sky by the time you finish your research. It is shining into the kitchen, but it isn’t dark inside the cottage. Your grandma told Jungkook to light a few candles. The latter is bundled up on your grandma’s sofa with you while your grandma sits in her armchair like she always did late at night. He is dozing with his lips parted in soft snores while you are practicing the spell your grandmother taught you.

You were successful. By the time the clock struck seven, you figured out a way of saving Yoongi. You wanted to cry and fall around her neck, but she told you to channel that excitement and turn it into magic. And so you did, practicing the proper way while she advised you and with it, your magic finally began to feel real. You could feel it coursing through your veins and tingle in your fingertips. Until now you felt numb to it, but through your grandmother’s advice you finally began to feel it.

And it felt wonderful. It gave you purpose and hope.

“You did it”, your grandmother gasps when you successfully turned the small heap of sawdust back into a tiny piece of wood.

“I did it. Grandma I did it!”

“Of course you did. I never doubted you for a second”, she says, “oh my honeybee, come here”, she says and falls around your neck in a tight hug. She falls off the armchair that way, kneeling on the floor with you while you hugged her and thanked her under tears.

Jungkook wakes from the sound, licking his lips and inhaling through his nose. He blinks a few times until finally sitting up.

“What happened?” he asks.

You break away from your grandmother to pick up the piece of wood and show it to him.

“I did it Kookie. I know how to focus my magic now”, you say.

“You did it”, Jungkook gasps, closing his hands around yours.

“I know how to use the knife now. Kookie, the spell I tried will finally work. I know how to focus the magic now. I know how to save Yoongi.”

“I can’t believe it. ___ you did it”, Jungkook’s eyes become glassy, “I never doubted you for a second.”

“I did, but not anymore”, you laugh, “Kookie, we’ll get Yoongi back. Grandma you-” you stop upon seeing her sad eyes, “grandma, what’s wrong?”

“You have grown up so much”, she whispers, “oh my honeybee, why does time pass so terribly quickly?”

You turn to her, closing your eyes when she cups your face.

“It is time for you to leave this place.”

“What?” you gasp, looking at her with fearful eyes, “but grandma.”

“You have to save your beloved. Time doesn’t wait for you. Two days have passed here as well as in the real world.”

“I see. Grandma, I don't want to leave you already.”

“Neither do I, but you have to leave eventually.”

“Can I see you again?”

“Maybe one day, but if we won’t, I am sure that you will be okay. You are my granddaughter after all”, she says, smiling sadly as she wipes your tears.

“I will return, I promise you. You have to meet Yoongi, grandma. When I heal him and I learned how to focus my emotions, I will return.”

She smiles, “and I will wait for you with raspberry pie.”

You laugh, she laughs as well. You help each other stand up, holding hands as she leads you outside. She holds Jungkook’s hand as well, caressing his knuckles. You know that you have to leave this place and yet the walk to the forest gate leaves your heart aching in your chest. You know that you will see her again one day and yet you don’t want time with her to end already. You have finally grown into the age where you can see eye to eye with her and you have so many questions you haven’t asked her yet. And yet as you try to speak them right now, you can’t think of any of them. all you can do is look at her face and hope that you won’t ever forget how she looks.

You stop when you are just a few steps away from the closed gate. She turns to Jungkook, cupping his cheeks.

“Keep being yourself, my dear. Your life will be bright”, she tells him, caressing his skin with her thumb.

“Thank you, grandma”, he says with a smile, “grandma, can I give you a hug?”

“Of course you can.”

And so it happens that Jungkook bends down to hug your grandmother. He does so with tenderness and honest love in his chest.

“Thank you for your help and for being such a great person in ___’s life”, he says.

“I could say the same about you, my dear.”

Jungkook steps back with blushing cheeks and a shy smile.

Your grandmother turns to you, gasping when you fall around her neck.

“I don’t want to go, grandma”, you sob into her shoulder.

“You have to, my honeybee. Live your life with your love truthfully, passionately, and to its fullest and I promise you that it will be worth it.”

“Thank you so much, grandma. You and grandpa are the only family members who didn’t leave scars. I will miss you so much.”

“I will miss you too, my honeybee”, she says and breaks the hug because she knows that you won’t be able to do so.

She pushes you closer to the gate, pulling your hands from her face to hold it. Her eyes carry tears but her lips are curled into a smile.

“I’m so proud of you, my honeybee”, she whispers.

“Grandma”, you choke out.

“Now go, live your life. I will be right here rooting for you.”

You take a step to the gate and turn again.

“Grandma”, you plead, reaching for her but she stays back.

“Go, my honeybee”, she whispers.

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can.”

“No. I can’t.”

She smiles and nods her head, “you can.”

Jungkook takes your hand, making you look at him.

“I’ll help you”, he says, “hold my hand and we’ll go together.”

“Kook”, you whisper, “Kook, please don’t let it go.”

“I won’t”, he says and tugs at your hand.

You stumble closer to the gate, eyes falling back onto your grandmother. She lifts her hand to wave at you and all you want to do was to run back to her and stay right here with her for the rest of your life. Jungkook clutches your hand tighter, opening the gate for you.

“Ready?” he asks.

The night is dark behind the gate. You look at your grandmother one last time. Jungkook squeezes your hand, letting you know that you weren’t alone. That he will hold your hand as you step through that gate and that long after that, he will keep holding it.

“I love you, grandma”, you say the words you never told her when she was still alive.

“I love you too, my honeybee”, she answers you.

You can’t move. You can’t move through that gate. No matter how hard you try, you can’t move on.

“Kookie?” you press out.

“Yes?”

“You have to tug me with you. Please.”

“Okay. Hold my hand, I will help you”, he says and steps through the door. You stumble after him, fighting the tug but at the same time clutching his hand.

Your grandmother gives you one last smile and then your feet stumble over the threshold. She disappears, darkness swallows the clearing and her cottage, your entire body begins to tingle and you know that any second now you will open your eyes.

[internals1ut]

idk if u posted about it already or not but UGHHHHH THE RECENT EPISODE?? HELLO??? THE SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN ED AND RUI AT THE END?? GODDAMN I NEED A SHORT PROMPT ABOUT IT WHERE THEY HAD SEX AFTER

I made a small mention of it here!! But nothing really a prompt from it!

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

This post is inspired by Chapter Ten! If you want context for this post please finish Chapter ten!

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Feel free to come join my discord linked on my alt @internalscream1ng carrd!

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

18+/nsfw/minors gtfo

So I don't think Edward got a chance to drink Rui's blood in that scene since I fully believe if he does drink Rui's blood, it would be like poison almost. So Rui tells Edward not to drink his blood but Edward is like "mmm~ 😏 forbidden cherry flavor"~

So I can't say for 100% if he did or not, Rui was covering his neck in the last panel so we aren't able to see if Edward bit him or not.

He was so close, Edward could have almost tasted it. He wanted to taste his blood so bad.. So very bad. There is nothing more that he wanted than to have a taste of Rui. A flavor he is longing to have. He needs it.

Rui still had his hand covering his neck, he was in shock! Was he trying to kill himself?! He doesn't want to be the fault for that!

Edward pulled on Rui's collar of his shirt and brought their faces inches together. He could basically taste death radiating off Rui's mouth.

Edward crawled over the counter and sat there, not even changing the distance of the faces.

Rui was having a hard time trying to keep a sane head on his shoulders, he does wish that this damn curse was gone so he could go all out with Edward.

Edward placed a gloved hand over Rui's mouth as he kissed that hand, letting Rui take off his pants enough to slip one of his gloved hands inside.

Rui's hand slipped until his fingers poked at Edward's hole before pushing inside to thrust in.

Edward moaned into the hand to mouth kissing as Rui's fingers started to become a mess from the slick wetness.

He pulled his hand out showing the mess on his glove, he needed to feel the actual thing.

"Ed.. We can't... One we are in my bar! Two, I don't have a condom"! Rui said.

"You don't... But I have five"~ Edward said as he pulled out his mini stack of condoms from his pockets.

"Do you just... Keep a stack on you to use on anyone"..?

"Not everyone! I'm not a slut(he is) ... Only you"~

"Was that supposed to be romantic? Actually don't answer, I think I will cringe at whatever you say"..

Edward dropped the boxers, he definitely was planning to do it here. With Rui, maybe he could try and sneak a nibble.

Rui didn't want to do it in the bar, but Edward was making him tempted. So tempting.... Fuck it smelled good around here too.

Was this some sort of seduction? Whatever. Rui tear the wrapping off the rubber with his teeth.

I just.....

I just love the thought of Rui fucking Edward over the bar okay I don't know how to put it into words

However, MC did see, and did watch the scenes play out -

MC always thought Edward was a mysterious guy, but now they are watching the vampire with his tongue out, flustered at the face as he was taking Rui inside him.

[emsuemsu]

So, occasionally I do adventure out of my comfort zone and read something other than Harry and Draco falling in love for the 1246th time in a row. This month I've been enjoying some magnificent entries in HP rare pair fair (@hprarepairfest) - all the love for this fest. Also I've been exploring some jegulus which I'm absolutely obsessed, at least in theory. In reality I don't think I'm honestly strong enough for the marauders era at all, that shit fucking hurts and I salute all those who go through it day to day. You're amazing.

So, without futher ado, my november non-drarry favorites:

Apple Tree and Juniper by @trueliarose 💫 Harry/Charlie, 17,732 words

Charlie Weasley: dragon tamer, single, attractive and the man Harry had had a crush on for years - what will happen when said man has to take some time off at work and decides to occupy himself by helping out with Harry's business?

Now, the thing about me is that I'm the biggest simp for Charlie Weasley. He makes me absolutely feral. The whole idea of getting it on with your best friends brother is like fucking ecstasy to me, and this might or might not stem from personal experiences. Out of all the Weasley siblings Charlie with Harry is just 🤌🤌 Now this fic had it all. A little angst, lots of fluff, Harry being all crafty crafty, TENSION and PINING, amazing magical woodworking lore (??? idk but i love it).. and the best part is that I noticed the author started a series with this fic being the opening act - I've never in my life hit that subscribe button as fast as I did with this one. God is good.

Choices by @sophsicle 💫 Regulus/James, 624,178 words

People make mistakes, but they also make choices. It’s important to James, that difference. He does his best not to confuse the two.

This is an honourable mention on this list since I read this already in October. But listen, I'm fucking traumatized by this fic. This was my first jegulus, my first marauders I've ever finished, and my 13th goddamn reason. And I can't even blame anybody other than myself, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I binge-read this in a day and a half and in retrospect I should've taken it a little more easy. But what can I say, I'm an all or nothing kinda girl. Chapter 53 hits different at 4am, just saying. The writing was hauntingly beautiful and I still think daily about some quotes and scenes from this fic. This fic is a journey and I'm glad I took it.

Light Bringer by meanwhiletimely 💫 Albus/Gellert, 10,678 words

Gellert doesn't simply shine—Gellert blazes, casting all around him into shadow with sheer dazzling force of being. When he turns that beatific gaze on you, your whole body comes alive for him: heat flaring up from within, blood in your veins turned to light.

This story is EVERYTHING. I was holding by breath while reading this. Beautiful. I love grindeldore (even though my resentment of Albus is as deep as the Mariana Trench), and this has to be one of the most beautiful fics I've ever read. This was written in second person POV which made the fic even more intense. Like I felt every word in my soul. Lots of love.

Mystic Lake of Memory by @sliebman10 💫 Harry/George, 5,055 words

As George's thirtieth birthday approaches, Harry convinces him to go on holiday to Loch Ness, where he and Fred had originally planned to spend their birthday in search of the sea monster.

Fred and George remain as an open wound for me still after all these years. This fic was sweet and melancholic at the same time, I absolutely loved how their relationship had grown and this fic was pretty as a picture. Absolute joy.

Sleeping With Ghosts by @ghaniblue 💫 Regulus/Harry/Draco, 27,902 words

Harry wakes in an unfamiliar bed to Regulus pointing a wand at his head, and then Draco moves into his house. Harry just wants the world to fuck off; being able to sleep through the night would be appreciated, too. This is the story of one very tired saviour of the wizarding world, a resurrected corpse and a mean little ferret living in Grimmauld Place together, drinking too much tea, talking less than is warranted, and falling in love.

I'm a slut for triads. Even more of a slut if two thirds of the triad is drarry. This fic was everything. It was so witty and funny and I was seriously laughing out loud reading this. I need this relationship tag to BLOW THE FUCK UP in 2024. I loved the build up and the ending was perfect. I really enjoyed Regulus' characterization and I think this fic really hits the spot with how I imagine him being. The interaction between the three of them was amazing.

Sweet Boy by @maraudersaffair 💫 Harry/Narcissa, 6,261 words

Harry agrees to date Narcissa to help her improve the reputation of her family. The intensity of their sexual chemistry takes them both by surprise, and it turns out there is nothing fake about their arrangement.

After reading this I decided that being a MILF is a state of mind and that being said I am one now. Do I have any kids? No. Will I have any kids? God knows. This fic was delicious in all the ways and more and I love Narcissa. So much.

Two of the Easiest Words in Gaelic by sky_watcher_rose 💫 Druella/Minerva, 27,902 words

Minerva will be the first to admit that Druella Rosier was the love of her life. But it’s been twenty years since they last saw each other, and she’s done her best to move on. When Druella unexpectedly arrives at a parents’ evening - the first she’s attended in the four years that Minerva has been teaching her children - both of them have to face up to certain feelings that never went away.

I usually shy away from muggle au's, but this was magical nevertheless. It was the first fic with this pairing I've ever read (and yes I have to admit I had to google who Druella was). The Scottish winter vibes were immaculate. I absolutely adore the "one that got away" kinda vibe in this one. There was this one quote from Minerva which was something like "I'm Scottish, nothing depresses me except bad whiskey" and I felt that in my core. Feel u sis, even though I'm not a Scot.

Unguarded-series by birdsofshore 💫 Draco/Albus Severus, 5 works, 38,834 words in total

Dilf-Draco is all I need in my life. So fucking hot.

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 435 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

Not much happened here, so Imma keep this short and simple.

Nah mf, you lied.

Ohhhh shit, the return of Zack 2.5!!! 😳 (2.5 because Zack got a glow-up and got stronger. So that’s his 2.0. Plus, Kwak Jihan is like, HALF of Zack here. 2nd half is Gun.) The “Kya~” 💀 AND OFC DANIEL WOULD PULL IT OFF. HE ISN’T ONE OF YOUR SIDE-CHICK LACKIES BRO. 😭

Um… because he can? Why? Is Jinyoung your side hoe? Like… why are you all over his di-

Goddamn, that bite mark tho and those scars on his chest. Can I just…

“Lord” ? Oh “Lord”, I knew he had some type of praising kink- 💀💀💀💀

You already know that guys who drink makgeolli like this are actual freaks. Like… it’s obvious. 💀 Bruh I really wanna try makgeolli. I wonder if it tastes sweeter than straight soju or something…

Also, same pot? 👀

Bro... what the fu... When did this arc turn into a whole horror movie? 😭😭😭

*WARNING: IF YOU GET SCARED EASILY, THEN I SUGGEST YOU GO HOME FOR THIS ONE. SCROLL DOWN AND DON'T LOOK!!!*

OOMFASKDJFHASDKJFHASDFJHASDFIAHFIEWHFIERHQWEIFHQWEIFHQWEFIOQWHQWHQFUHQWERFUQHE4FUIQ4H DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, WTF?!?!!?!?!? I JUST GOT JUMPSCARED WHILE READING THIS CHAPTER. WTH MAN. I DIDN'T KNOW WE GOING BACK TO THE CULT ARC. TF???

AND BROOOO WHAT IS THIS, THE MANDELA CATALOGUE????? PTJ PUTTING ALTERNATES NOW IN HIS CHAPTER??? (I love that channel btw and I love Analog horror. 🖤) PERO HNNNNNGGGGGHHHH WTFFFFFFFFF!!!

NAH, FUCK YOU!! YOU AND THAT PET HOARDER FROM THAT ONE ARC SHOULD BE BESTIES, BC WTFFFFFF. YOU GUYS ARE SCARY AF. I'LL YEET YOU INTO THE PILE OF PSYCHOS BRUV. YOU GOING IN WITH THE WHOLE ENTIRE DOG GOD CULT, DANIEL'S STALKER, ZOE'S STALKER, AND THE REST OF THEM. ALL OF YOU, GET INTO THE PIT AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL!!!

PTJ really giving us these angles man, sheesh... Man's wearing BAPE TOO? Bape underwear bruv. I can't- 💀 These mf's flexing on us, even with expensive underwear on. I'm dying in the inside.

Bitch you thought. (Also, he's giving me Gun vibes here. Shiiiiiiiiiiiit... Calm down, my feral ass, it's NOT HIM...)

AWWWW NOT THE DOGS GIVING HIM THE SCARED SIDE-EYES. 😭😭😭 (But nah, they really were all talk, barking and shiii. ALL BARK, BUT NO BITE. SMH 😤)

Yeah, you're all going to get GOT. Say your prayers now. 🙏🏽

OK, THAT'S YOUR FAULT FOR UNDERESTIMATING HIM THO. LIKE SORRY BABE, YOU DIDN'T GET THE MEMO??? 🙄 (Also, damn. If you were planning to break your phone in the first place, you should've just given it to me. I really needed a new one... 👁👄👁)

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO SHIIIIIIIIIIIT, WE GOT BACKUP?????? 👀

OHHHHH SHIIIIIISDFKJASHDFKJDHFHKSDHF IT'S HUDSONNNNN!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGG I NEVER EXPECTED TO FEEL HAPPINESS WHEN I JUST SAW HUDSON. LIKE BROOOOO COMING IN WITH THE CLUTCH FRFR. 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 PERO DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN, HE REALLY BODYING ALL OF THEM. OMG IM FUCKING SQUEALING RN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

OMGGGASHDFJASDHFJSDFHDSFDJKH. I... AM.... SCREAMINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! JAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫💛💛💛💛💛💛

A KING FOR NONVIOLENCE, LET'S GOOOOOO!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍 (I loved how he just shows up without having to beat up anybody. Instead, he drives his motorcycle and scares people off of cliffs. God bless his pure heart.) 💀

UGHHHHHH THIS LINE UP IS SO GOOD BRO. I'M ALREADY HYYYYYYYYYYYYYPED!!!! 😆😆😆😆😆

AAAAAAAAAALRIGHTYYYYYY, SO THIS CONCLUDES CH. 435. Holy crap, I haven't finished a review THIS early in a while. BUT ANYWAYS, I really want to know why they're getting in Daniel's way of learning more about Jinyoung Park. Like, who are they? Jinyoung's bodyguards or something? 😅 They most likely might have beef with Jinyoung, but they've been hella pressed ever since Danny boy arrived. He's just trying to find this man, just leave him alone!! 😩 But what if they joined forces in trying to find Jinyoung...? Idk, just a little afterthought in the back of my mind. They might have some sort of compromise or something. Eugene style...? 😂✨ Anything is possible at this point

Also, "short and simple" my ass. I just realized that I went overboard AGAIN.

[apileofpans]

Thanks for the tag @shinyfire-0 !!! ✨✨ also, fuck tumblr for being weird with adding hyperlinks? Sigh, mobile posting sucks

Fanfic author tag game

How many works do you have on AO3

29!

What’s your total AO3 word count

411,837 (also just hit the 1,000 bookmarks milestone!)

Top 5 stories by kudos

Leave Box Five empty for my use - Erik/Raoul, PWP (this was meant to be a singular blowjob in box five…..)

Wishing - Erik/Christine, time travel fix-it

Stranger Than You Dreamt It - Erik/Christine, canon divergent fix-it where they actually communicate after the unmasking

I shall be taking my seat in Box Five - Erik/Raoul, direct sequel to the #1 on this list :) plot with porn !

You Are Music - Erik/Christine/Raoul, AU where Christine and Raoul realise they can just add Erik to their relationship

Do you respond to comments?

Usually, yes! If there’s some substance to the comment I like to reply a thank you :) though my Box Five 2 fic I didn’t do so. I didn’t wanna inflate the comment count idk LOL that fic is the exception though!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstigst ending?

Why do you curse mercy? - Hey man, wanna see me fucking kill Raoul? Yeah. He’s my baby boy but RumpleTrumple wrote this amazing killing Raoul fic and I got inspired and woof.

We had a taste of joy… the most we ever knew - I forgot I wrote this but, uh. This is literally three chapters of Erik and Raoul dying and leaving the other devastated

Do you write cross-overs?

No. I don’t care for them. I want my blorbos in the right space without interference of other blorbos thank yew

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup! On my Wishing fic somebody actually commented something along the lines of ‘this is a cool premise that would be way better written by somebody else’ lmfao

Do you write smut? If yes, what kind?

Yes. Just, yes. I wrote a goddamn gangrape fic man, Idk. Some messed up shit

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Would be fun to try it out tho I think!

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Erik/Raoul. Special shoutout to Erik/Nadir/Raoul—I am the president AND fan of this fanclub I created

What’s a WIP you want to finish but most likely never will?

This fucking LND rewrite I started way back in 2021 when I first got back in Phantom. It’s 31k already and I just. Stopped. It was E/C, too

What are your writing strengths?

I think I get characterisation right most of the time. At least consistent with how I write my boys! Same with the dynamics, I think. I set out a specific way to write a story and/or dynamic, and I usually succeed!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I really ought to describe environments and how somebody looks more. I just like people to envision their own version of a character

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Raj/Howard from the Big Bang Theory. Have a singular small fic in the works for them, that’s it! Anything I want to write I usually get to in due time :)

I tag whoever would like to do it!! :3c

[j2zara]

for the ask game!! 📚 💭 👖

Sorry these took all day i've been out and Tired as hell but thank u!

📚 Do you read your own fic?

I try to not feel embarrassed that the answer is yeah bc like I think if other ppl reread their own work it would make sense!!!! Like I would not judge at all and honestly co-sign rereading ur own shit. I literally tell ppl that the reason I write is bc like. It’s basically the chance to craft your own perfectly tailored special interest to share with others. So like. Why wouldn’t I like it? (And this was especially true when I was trying to write original stuff which is why it’s so frustrating I never finish anything. But also a little true now too. This whole weird cloneverse was the product of my dumb thought experiment “what if the clones were people who had the capacity to be just as tragic as Jace). It’s got everything I like in it. I try to tell myself anyway. In practice it’s like. Argh.I kinda go through periods where I like. And this is usually after I JUST posted. Wanna do other things but end up distracting myself by rereading the thing I just made over and over. And then I forget it exists and often in my mind it’s like. Oh I don’t wanna read that i think bc I have residual feelings of like. Idk embarrassment I guess? Like I convince myself it’s old and probably bad but sometimes when I’m glancing at old things I write for. Refresher purposes (usually on cloneverse lol) I end up getting suckered back into rereading it like oh hey is this actually. Good?

Anything older I mostly haven’t looked at in a while bc idk. I’m very hard on my old self. I did reread my Reddie sky high au thing and went. Hm this is actually fun I like this. Most of my IT stuff is like. Ok I think? This is kinda related but I JUST got a comment on a talent swap I wrote for DR and I literally haven’t updated the thing since 2018 and I feel so bad for abandoning it but. Part of it is bc I think if I were to come back to it I would wanna redo some of the old chapters and I feel so pained looking at the early chapters. I keep telling myself I’ll get to it. My Mukuro and Hiro proxy sibling agenda deserves it, they deserve to be best friends so bad, I’m sad I abandoned them. 

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

This is such a funny question bc I’m such a goddamn blabbermouth so I feel pretty confident that I’ve already posted so much cringe abt the headcanons for cloneverse. Like. Technically J3’s personality started as a headcanon in that i was like “oh, Porter was flirting with J3 the entire time he was falling in love with J2”. 99% of the time if i feel compelled to say it i will just say it? Actually you know what? I just thought of one that might be kinda schmaltzy and i feel bad for not saying its a 100% certainty but in my heart Ankarna grants all the clones some form of true life but it would probably be some fucked genie deal where its like there’s a reincarnation au or something. Like they have to find each other again or something. Very Hadestown Orphydice anybody got a match coded. Genuinely b/c J4 wishes she was never Of Jace she gets what she wants and its like good/bad. Bc i can never stop putting the clones in the torment nexus I don’t know if that’s completely stupid

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

I try so hard to be a planner bc I’m so frustrated by my pantser process. Like. Idk i tend to just ride momentum but without foresight you end up going in directions that can be kinda formless and completely wrong and idk. I have such hard time finishing things b/c of this i think. But when I try to plan I’m also so bad at it i don’t think I’ve ever finished a real and true outline before I start. I want to be the kind of person that has clean outlines but. Idk. So by default I guess I’m a plantser bc I do have docs full of notes but my notes are always super messy and like. Idk what I’m doing evolves so much while I work that half the time the notes end up not even accurate to what I’m aiming for. Worst of both worlds life

[chososcamgirl]

this one’s a long one.. heh… 😈 hope ur ready to hear me yap abt (mainly) toge 🤤‼️

HEYHEYHEY SIGMA ALPHA IYA OH MY GYATTT THE NEW CHAPTER WAS SO 🫣😍😩 HAD ME BARKING N SHIT.. THE SUKUNA PART??? HELLO??? I fear we may have fumbled… OK BUT LIKE IM SO HOOKED CANT WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTER CUS I CAN ALREADY SMELLLLL THE TENSION3&33$3!3?3 THE TOGE PART… LITERALLY ON THE FLOOR. ALL 4.. ARR RT HTJRSTSHDTJJTDDTJDTJJDTTDJYDTJDTDJ WAKING UP RO A NEW CHALTER IS ALWAYS YHE BESTTTT I LIT JUST GOT UP SO NO DAILY YAP 😣😣 UGHHH UR PLAYLISTS ALWAYS FUCKING HIT IM LITERALLLY HAVING AN EARGASM RN 😩‼️🐺😈🔥 LIKE I SWEARRRRR IF SOUNDMATES WERE REAL WE WOULD B MATCHED 😈🔥‼️CUS I WONT ALLOW A STEPCEST INDULGER SLIDE IN MY DMS… UGHEBEBEJEBBE IM LITERALLY DROOLING 🤤 UR FEEEDING US GOOOOODDDD MGMTMMFPPHHHHH 😣🤤‼️😈 IM SO 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 FOR TOGE PLEASEEEEEE MATCH MY FREAAKKKKK MEOWOOOWWWWWWW… oh and uh… megumi’s there too ig… 😒😒 UGHH ANYWAY IM LITERALLLY FEINING RNNNN 🤤😩‼️🔥 I NEEEEEEEDDDDDDD A NEW CHAPTER ASAPPPPPEEKEJNENR ILY IYA THANK YOU FOR PROVIDING US WITH A FEASSSSSTTTTTTT IM LITERALLY IN FUCKING HEATTTT AURGHHHHHH ILYSM IYAAA ILL KILL U IF U DIE 👿👿 SUKUNA AS YNs EX IS SO PERFECT LIKE UGHHHH I LOVE HOW UR BRAIN WORKS WERE LITERALLY TELEPATHIC LIEK STOP MATCHING MY FREAKK SO WELLL UGHHH IM ALMOST THEREEE 😩 AND THE SOMF YOU CHOSE FOR THE TITLE?? UGHHHH ILYSMMMM SHES MY COLLAR IS LITERALLY MYYYY SHITTTTT OMGGGGG U MATCH MY 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 SOOO WELLL IM SO DOWN BAD FOR TOGE PLEASEEEEEE… FOAMING AT THE MOUTH FOR HIMMMM ARGHHHH EVERYTHING ABT THE CHAPTER WAS BEYOND PERFECTION 🤤🙂‍↕️ARBRBRRBHRHRJSIEJE IM BARKINGGGGGGG FOR TOGE PLEASEEEEEE UGHHH THE COMPLIMENT AND THE HUG… DONT stop I’m SOOOOO CLOSEEEEE 😖😩🤤‼️… GIVE ME ONE CHANCE ILL LITERALLY START PRAYING AND SPIRITUALLY CONNECTING MYSELF SO HE NOTICES ME.. 😼😼

ANYWAYYS… HOW ARE YOU IYAAAAAA??? HOPE U ATE WELL AFTER FEEDING US SO GOOODDDDD ARBRBRBRBRJJEBE I LOVEEEE U SM I WANT TO CRAWL IN YOUR SKIN AND THRIVE IN YOUR BRAIN SO I GET EVERY SINGLE IDEA YOU HQVE FOR SJAPPPP I WAS WAITING FOR THE CHAPYET I FELL ASLEEP IN MY MAKEUP BUt ITS OKAY CUS I WOKE UP TO A NEW CHAPTERRR UGHHH I LIT LOVE U AND TOGE SMMMM FEINNINGGGG 🤤🤤🤤🤤 VRO MY RECENTLY USED EMOJIS ARE SOOO FREAKY BECAUSE OF THE NEW CHAPTER UGHH IDECCC IM SO CLOSEEEEEE.. OK IM GONNA GO TAKE OFF MY MAKEUP NOW 😣😔😭 BYE IYA SIGMAAA ILYSMMM IM GONNA FLY TO AUSTRALIA AND GIVE YOU THE WETEST KISSESSSS 🤤😩😍

- 🐺

HI ALPHA!!! 🐺🐺🐺

i just finished work!!! i was saving this to answer after incase i had a bad day at work (i didn’t) so DOUBLE YAY. let’s begin😈 LMFAOO im glad you like it! i was STRUGGLING to excecute my vision like it took a lot out of me to finish that chapter HELP but i’m happy with it and im glad it’s out now!! the tension was THICK let me tell u that. i loved the cliffhanger at the end bc i love edging yall 😏😏 LOL toge seems like a fan favourite along with sukuna now surprisingly. I WILL NOT DIE!! unless panda’s bounty changes to me… i’m WEAK😭 u r so funny alpha pls never die or ill have to kill off toge in honour of u💔

it’s always goddamn hot in there idk if that’s just me but i’m always HOT😭 work was okay i was just covering the lunch breaks and then i get to go home :3 i am eating rn actually! rice paper rolls mmmm. i will let u live in my brain🙂‍↕️ NOT U FALLUNG ASLEEP IN UR MAKEUP OMF THATS THW WORST FOR ME😭 LMFAO it’s bc UR freaky 🫵 yes i will greet u at the airport with balloons and a big sign saying “welcome home alpha”😏 i hope ur day was good alpha! lmk!! also did u end up finding ur airpods… also the teacher! tell meeee!! <3333 iya out !!!

[hismercytomyjustice]

Ayyy, I’m back on my bullshit with my BG3 fic! Just about to hit 86k words. Good god.

Still struggling to comprehend that. And still have about two chapters to go. Eh, maybe 1.5. I’m thinking it’ll end around 95k. Maybe 100k. (・ω・｀)………..

Those numbers sound wildly fake. Especially how up until this fic, I’d never written anything longer than maybe 55k.

I can’t believe I’m finally reaching the end. Just a month or two ago, I was convinced I might never finish it with how bad my analysis paralysis was.

The whole reason I even started posting it was because my therapist suggested it as a way to help me out of the OCD spiral it was sending me into. I had fully intended not to post any of it until it was completely finished because I was terrified I’d never finish it.

…def don’t have unfinished shit haunting me decades later from ff.net…

Somehow my most popular fic on there was an InuYasha one from my MAJOR InuYasha brain rot days. God, Sesshomaru lived rent free in my head for fucking YEARS.

I am so fucking distraught with how they decided to handle his character arc. There is SO MUCH Sesshomaru merch out there this day and age. I would have lost my fucking mind as a teen if it had been available then. But I just can’t enjoy it now.

Like, no shade to those who are happy with how he wound up with Rin. I’m just not one of them. I just personally feel like it was a missed opportunity for both of their character arcs and also imho…he was pretty much her dad, so it just doesn’t sit right with me. Especially with how young she was when he took her in…

Would’ve loved to see her wind up with Kohaku like it felt they were going to. I also really loved Sesshomaru and Kagura together too (minus the whole uh…her no longer being around thing).

God my life fucking revolved around that show for literal years. Pretty much all of high school. Maybe some of middle school? I don’t remember 100% when I started watching it.

Idk if it was a special interest or a hyperfocus or what. It doesn’t happen to me often (despite what it might seem like on here). POTO hit me around the same time (when I was 16) and then there was a gap until Pacific Rim with a brief Transformers interlude in between.

The fact it’s happened again recently with BG3, Hazbin, and borderline IWTV is fucking wild to me. Like oh yeah, I get obsessed with shit but there’s obsessed and then there is Obsessed™. It might not look that different from an outside perspective, but good god it is BAD on the inside.

I fucking LOVE IWTV but I’m not hunting down every single microscopic bit of lore I can find for it.

Hazbin and BG3 tho? Good fucking god. I am desperate to consume anything I can fucking find. I am watching interviews, reading veritable dissertations on them, I am thinking about them non-fucking-stop.

You can gauge my true level of derangement by:

1. Have I written fanfic about it?

2. How much fanfic have I written about it?

IWTV is an A Tier obsession for me. BG3 and Hazbin? That shit is S Tier.

Not that I write fanfic for everything S Tier, case in point Stardew Valley, but yeah…there’s a fucking reason I have fucking 7 Pacific Rim fanfics under my belt.

And right now I’ve got a multi-chapter Hazbin crack fic cooking on the side that’s already about to hit 9k words. It is wildly self-indulgent but damn if I’m not enjoying every fucking second of it.

Maybe one day I’ll get back to the modern day Phantom AU I started back at the end of January. It’s got 5k on it. My only real concern with it tho is I worry about drifting too close to Binary, my fave POTO fanfic of all time. And, tbh, a solid contender for my fave fic of all time in general. The number of times I have read that masterpiece.

Fuck. Cannot recommend it enough if you’re a POTO fan. It is a goddamn work of art.

But yeah, being so close to finishing this BG3 fic is such a weird feeling. It kind of makes me want to peel my skin off and flee into the woods? But I think it’ll also be really fucking good for me. And I can’t believe I’m about to do it. It’s fucking terrifying lol. My OCD is NOT HAPPY.

I can take “comfort” in the fact I still have 9 weeks of editing ahead of me tho I guess? (ಥ﹏ಥ) Maybe that’ll shut my goddamn fucking OCD up with its chants of “you never finish anything, you’ll never finish this, best to give up now, easier to give it up than fight through until the end, you should give it up before everyone comes to their senses and realize it’s awful” blah blah blah.

OCD is the fucking WORST.

Weirdly I also have piano to thank for my ability to write again? Because the hardcore fucking OCD spirals that shit was sending me on was what made me realize I constantly have OCD spirals running in the background. It’s making them a fuck of a lot easier to see earlier on too. And that was like…Category 2/3 OCD for me lol. Writing was probably Category 4/5 until recently. There’s other shit that’s solidly a Cat 5 but I don’t ever intend to talk about it on here. That’s what I have my therapist for! Yay, therapy!

It is truly fucking wild seeing an OCD specialist though who is just like “oh, your big scary brain is not as big and scary as it wants you to think.” Like that was one of the biggest “holy shit” moments I had when she was walking me through the stages of OCD spirals and I was just like…I never saw the pattern before. But there it was. Spelled out in black and white on a little fucking worksheet.

Fucking insane.

Tumblr has helped me so fucking much too by making it easy for me journal about it all regularly. I don’t always post what I journal, but it helps me see the forest for the trees regardless. And by forcing myself to “share” shit, I’m chipping away at the part of my OCD that fucking thrives on avoidance and self-consciousness about this shit. Because you’re not supposed to avoid OCD thoughts. That just makes ultimately them worse. So I share them on here knowing there’s like a 1% anyone will ever read any of this, but it’s enough to take away some of the fear/shame/avoidance that would otherwise add fuel to the fire so.

┐(￣ ヘ￣)┌

It’s all not as big and bad and scary and awful as my OCD makes it out to be in the confines of my noggin. It’s fucking hard sometimes, sharing some of this stuff because it’s embarrassing and awful and stupid. There’s nothing logical about OCD thoughts and knowing that makes it even fucking worse.

Like… I know the entirety of the internet isn’t going to just show up one day and tell me my writing is shit and I should quit. Logically. My OCD, however… It makes a lot of compelling arguments to my little lizard brain that are a lot harder to ignore.

Like how I almost didn’t sign up for piano classes at all because my OCD told me I’d never practice and I’d be wasting the teacher’s time and if I then quit I was frivolously playing with part of their livelihood and therefore a terrible fucking person. Would I say that to someone else? Absolutely not. That’s all absurd. Did I spend weeks agonizing over it in my noggin? Abso-fuckin’-lutely I did. And it didn’t even occur to me it was batshit until I finally brought it up to my husband and realized “wait one goddamn second, this is an OCD spiral, isn’t it?”

Lololol. The “joys” of mental illness! But hey, at least the therapy seems to be working. One step at a time baybeee!

[unofficialadamtaurus]

First of all CONGRATS for finishing! It could not have been easy (I say as I remember all the times you were sore, bruised, and/or sick while trying to write a chapter LIKE BRUH), especially when each and every chapter is god tier. Seriously homie, you’re amazing!!

But FOR REAL WTF?? these dudes keep working after having infiltrated a massive fucking whale, stopped a Grimm invasion, got exploded to bits, and fought an immortal milf? Babes pls get some. Idk. SLEEP.

Naw but i really do love to see it. Also especially love to see how much they support each other through it 🥹 honestly the highlight of the chapter for me.

GOD like this moment when all of RWBY hug is HNNNNGSOZHBEHAOXH

Blake and Weiss joined the hug by some unspoken signal. Ruby melted into their embrace like so many petals and Blake's heart melted with her. "I missed you guys."

THEY ARE FAMILY OKAY AND I JUST GXHWIYZBXOYWNJ

Ruby is being particularly adorable too (the carrots line killed me 💀) but also like GURL YOU ARE LITERALLY BLIND RN STAY IN BED??

Yang nodded. "We'll get through it. Speaking of getting through things…can we talk?"

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yang shuddered at her touch. Their lips brushed when Blake continued: "Let's skip that part this time."

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

THOSE TWO ARE SO *frantic arm gestures* YKNOW??? Im happy they got a happy ending because yeah I doubted it for sec okay 😩

LMAO at the reoccurring Oscar interruption but wait FUCK THE KID IS FUCKING DYING?? UGH god I didn’t expect the Oscar and Ozpin thing to hurt as much as it did. Ozpin deserves good things too dammit whyyy 😭😭

GODDAMN Adam and Blake conversations are always so top tier is2g. There’s something I love so much about this conversation brooo. Blake’s resolve and care towards him just 🥹 UGH. her unwavering stares? Easily expressed gratitude? Instant forgiveness (nothing to really forgive cuz like corruption feels like shit and pretty violating and traumatizing tbh fr but she does it anyway to help him feel better ANDANDAND—)? THE LETTER???

OWHXISOWHXNIWOEUDNCKEIHWKFIW I JUST LOVE IT WHEN SOMEONE CARES ABOUT HIM AND HE FEELS IT OKAY

And FUCK I love this part

He swallowed and looked away, unsure how to respond to that. He didn't want to say "You're welcome," because they weren't, and this was never going to happen again. Even if, in some small corner of his heart, the knowledge that he'd helped to save the world like some kind of fantasy hero radiated a gentle heat that would warm him for a long time to come.

YOU DIDNT HAVE TO GO THAT HARD HOMIE IM ALREADY CRYIN 😭

Also LIVING for Neo and Adam team up. Neo’s expressive mannerisms are genuinely so fun to read UGH it’s PERFECT. And the “Don’t stay too long” for Qrow OAISBXOIENWOWIDN

He clipped Blush to his belt and let the spark flare unhindered.

Homie when I tell that IM FUCKING LIVING FOR THISS

"'Part of starting over is saying goodbye. You were first; now it's my turn. If you want to, you'll see me again.

"'Goodbye, Blake.'"

OWJDNEOWHNDDIJENEIDNXIEUWNDIFUENEIDIXJNWO IM EMOTIONAL

wait omfg I think I forgot to mention to Jaune 💀 I don’t hate him I swear The way his semblance and aura are practically working against each other is a REALLY interesting and nice touch, and i don’t think ive ever seen it applied like this. And I love his “i went from nothing to nothing line” and how he’s just so glad he was able to save somebody. 🥹 it captured that part of his character so well and tbh the same goes for all the others (me @ ruby rn is going “bitch is you BLIND”). It’s a really neat touch to the chapter!!

I can't tell if you've read the epilogue yet, but either way I am injecting every keysmash in this message directly into my veins. Your reviews were one of the things I most looked forward to when writing a new chapter - I was excited to see which lines you'd specifically comment on. You're probably at least 20% of the reason this story got finished at all lol.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for never failing to bring a smile to my face when commenting 😊

[sunset-sama]

WIP game!

Tagged by the very brilliant and witty @alishatheninth

Make a new post

Embolden the themes that appear in your WIP

Italicise those that are loosely covered

Tag people

I only have one tru™ WIP, which is quite plainly the “give-Amon-a-better-ending-than-whatever-the-fuck-we-got-in-Book-1″ chaotic mess known as Equal Entanglement. And it is my baby. At times, it’s the only thing that gives me a sense of purpose; that is, the will to finish it, seeing as it’s been almost two goddamn years since I started it 🥲 I also have the Amon-POV companion fic to Equal Entanglement that I want to write. I don’t intend for it to be an absolute behemoth like EE. I only have one chapter thus far and it’s like... maybe 200-300 words, lol. Everything else I’ve planned to write just lives inside my head, most of which is original fiction, and idk if I’d ever have the balls to post/publish that sort of thing. I already took enough risk writing an OC-centric fic, which I understand to be the bane of the fanfiction community.

ANYWAYS

addiction | beauty | betrayal | change vs. tradition | chaos vs. order | circle of life | coming of age | communication | convention vs. rebellion | corruption | courage | crime and law | dangers of ignorance | darkness and light | death (lol) | desire to escape | dreams | displacement | empowerment | facing darkness | facing reality | faith vs. doubt | fall from grace (can we call it grace?) | fame and fortune | (found) family | fate | fear | fear of failure | free will | fight vs compromise | friendship | fulfillment | good vs. bad | government | greed | guilt and forgiveness | hard work | heroism | hierarchy | honesty | hope | identity crisis | immortality | independence (and by extension, dependence) | individual vs. society | inner vs. outer strength | innocence | injustice | isolation | knowledge vs. ignorance | life | loneliness | lost love | love | man vs. nature | manipulation | materialism | motherhood | nature | nature vs. nurture | oppression | optimism | peer pressure | poverty | power | power of words | prejudice | pride | progress | quest | racism | rebirth | relationships | religion | responsibility | revenge | sacrifice | secrets | self-awareness | self-preservation | self-reliance | sexuality | social class structure | survival | technology | temptation and destruction | time | totalitarianism | weakness | vanity | war | wealth | wisdom of experience | youth (as in naiveté)

Thanks again @alishatheninth, this was really fun and reflective!

Now I tag @lotus-ashi & @notquitecandid & anyone else who wants to join.

Here is the unedited theme list so you can copy and paste it for yourself:

addiction | beauty | betrayal | change vs. tradition | chaos vs. order | circle of life | coming of age | communication | convention vs. rebellion| corruption | courage | crime and law | dangers of ignorance | darkness and light | death | desire to escape | dreams | displacement | empowerment | facing darkness | facing reality | faith vs. doubt | fall from grace | fame and fortune | (found) family | fate | fear | fear of failure | free will | fight vs compromise | friendship | fulfillment | good vs. bad | government | greed | guilt and forgiveness | hard work | heroism | hierarchy | honesty | hope | identity crisis | immortality | independence | individual vs. society | inner vs. outer strength | innocence | injustice | isolation | knowledge vs. ignorance | life | loneliness | lost love | love | man vs. nature | manipulation | materialism | motherhood | nature | nature vs. nurture | oppression | optimism | peer pressure | poverty | power | power of words | prejudice | pride | progress | quest | racism | rebirth | relationships | religion | responsibility | revenge | sacrifice | secrets | self-awareness | self-preservation | self-reliance | sexuality | social class structure | survival | technology | temptation and destruction | time | totalitarianism | weakness | vanity | war | wealth | wisdom of experience | youth

[dimonds456]

Hi dims! :D

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

Oooooo this is a fun one!

When getting in-character for writing, I tend to do it best when I've already either A) daydreamed a scene every day for 3 months and tweaked the dialogue in my head, matching the show's artstyle near perfectly to capture the vibes of the original to the best that I can, or B) I have just finished writing that scene and am now On A Roll and I could tell you this character's entire past, present, and future and me 100% correct in everything I say ever.

Or C), I just understand how that character thinks, have built a couple of strong "they would say this" headcanons around them, and let that breeze guide my sails.

All that is to say that I don't think I write 100% in-character all the time. But, when I do think I nail it, it creates some of my best work.

Gonna allow myself to gush about my own writing for a second. It's old now, but my magnum opus- in my opinion- is still Chapter 19 of Half a Puppet- Pearl's chapter. I had been waiting for the chance to have her be the best goddamn Crystal Gem this side of the galaxy since I first started getting more and more story threads for HaP in my mind.

I wanted to show the version of Pearl that wouldn't let Homeworld push her down, but not in the way that she was in the beginning of the show. She's FAR more independent now, and channeled all that negative energy towards Greg she used to have into being Loki incarnate. Weird on paper, but in my head? It was fucking brilliant. And I still agree- that chapter is still the best thing I have ever written.

The subtle ways that Pearl tricks Morganite, and manipulates her in similar ways that Morganite has definitely done to other gems below her, getting subtle stabs of revenge without outright attacking her is one of my fav things ever. Plus, she does fight back! She's incredibly talented with the blade and spear, and she would have gotten out of there single-handedly if Morganite wasn't a fucking cheater with technology far beyond Pearl's understanding.

Plus, it renders Morganite as just a petty, whining child. Like, she's on the same level as Aquamarine, she's just a brat who, while also talented, uses her talents to boost herself up and think she has the right to push everyone else down. And it's not even a talent she earned, she popped out of the ground already knowing how to make wondrous statues. Pearl earned her talent, every step of the way.

Plus, that love that Pearl still holds for Rose is still there, so painfully evident. But, for once in the show, she's not weighed down by the sadness or the hole left in her being. She's moved past that. Like, yes, she still mourns Rose, but it's not obsessive like how she was in Season 1. She's grown far past that. So, instead, she does something she know would make Rose so fucking proud of her and just pranks her way out of her bad situation by portraying Rose the way she wanted to live.

(which gave me a chance to point at Rose and go look there's a trans metaphor in here somewhere and Pearl is the best fucking ally on the planet LOOK)

Idk. I still get really excited when I think about that chapter. I think it turned out really, really well.

On the flipside, though, I do struggle getting into characters heads when I don't understand how they think. It's one of the reason y'all aren't getting NEARLY as much HLVRAI writing from me as you got SU writing. Because HLVRAI is an improv series, the characters aren't as nailed down as someone like Pearl is. This is not a bad thing, though! I don't want them to be as nailed down, as long as they're consistent, which they are (and when they're not, it's usually for a joke, so you can take what they say as just them bullshitting and laugh and move on).

In order to fully get into character for the HLVRAI gang, I think I'd have to write them more in general and try to picture my writing happening in canon. Would it?

The greatest lesson I can give to fellow writers is not to say "this character would never do this," but instead to say "what would push them to do this?" Any character could become a pirate, but why? Even if you don't think they would ever become a pirate, what could push them to that point? Maybe they were forced into it, or maybe they knew it was the only way to save their daughter. Maybe they just kinda became pirates through an unfortunate series of events. Either way, there is something out there that would tip the scale.

I guess the best way I get into character is figuring how to put my finger on the scale in the exact way to push that character in question to act.

tl;dr who fuckin knows fhgsadkj

[astorytotellyourfriends]

annual writing self-evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2022.

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self-evaluation

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

as per usual that list is too long for this post so here's my 2022 fic roundup

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

i'm honestly proud of everything i wrote this year so this is fucking impossible!!! i guess if i HAD to pick from jatp, i'd pick coping because it was SUCH a massive project and i'm really, really fucking happy that i a. finished it and b. it was everything i wanted it to be. as for stranger things, if i had to limit myself to picking from my completed works then i'd go with both alike in dignity because idk it felt a little out of the box already even tho it was only my third hellcheer fic!

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

i really hate this question because as i said before I'M PROUD OF EVERYTHING but if i had to go with a "least best" then i guess braiding my boyfriend's hair (boyfriend reveal!) because i definitely struggled with writing this and i think that's why i haven't returned to this verse since. i do want to go back to it bc i do have more ideas, but writing the filming of youtube videos is fucking impossible good lord.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

when i first started writing if we don't leave this town (we might never make it out), i knew i wanted to have a scene where Eddie had his who did this to you moment and oh MAN it turned out even better than i could've hoped:

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

basically every comment on chapter 9 of love is just a currency was in this same vein and i love every single one of them.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

when i got fuckin' covid back in april. just EXISTING was hard then.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

honestly the fact that i fell so goddamn hard for hellcheer really surprised me because i've been watching stranger things since it started and never gave a DAMN about fic until that stupid metalhead was sweet to the cute cheerleader.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i guess maybe somehow figuring out how to balance several wips at once? it surprises me every goddamn day!

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i mean, i said last year that i wanted to try some different genres and i think i sort of did that with just try your best (not to get hurt) but i'd really like to push that boundary a little more!

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i've met so many wonderful people in the hellcheer community who are so loving and supportive and i'm so, so thankful for all of them 💛

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

i mean. most of the time when i'm writing Eddie, i feel like i'm just writing a male version of me, so. yeah..

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i have no new wisdom. only old wisdom: don't compare yourself to other people, it'll only end in pain and frustration. just keep doing what you're doing, try new things, and your writing will grow and improve and you'll be much happier for it.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

GOD I HAVE SO MANY!!! i have SO many ideas that are period pieces and i'm just ITCHING to get to start them!!! but first, i must finish my wips. my poor wips.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

hi if you've made it this far, you're tagged. love you.

[eyeswaitingfortuesdaynight]

omniscient reader's viewpoint liveblog day 2 😅 (chs. 2-6: ep. 1 - starting the paid service)

i'm going to take notes as i go for the first 120 chapters or so since i've already read it before (and also sort of re-read them via the webtoon and various fanfic)

completely forgot about the world after fall plug looool. i need catch up with the webtoon at some point for that one

kdj is so freaking awkward talking about himself and his hobbies, it's painful. compared to how he never shuts up later, it shows how comfortable he's gotten with kimcom. how uncomfortable he was with anyone in the before times

i think he's....dissassociating? has trouble mentally staying present? either way, ysa had to address him 3 times before he answered a simple question about language app, damn. this bitch is Not Alright

kdj uses 'ruined' as a search term, not 'survival' or 'survive' when looking for twsa. that's a habit, so he likely did that the first time he was searching for novels too, huh.....

when a train stops for me, i think 'mechanical issues' or 'security incident', not 'suicide'. i can't tell if this is a cultural thing or a kdj thing or both, but in any case not a good sign of mental health that that's his first and only guess

killing anyone who outwardly rebelled against the dokkaebi...pretty smart in establishing dominance tbh. and it means that any surviving incarnations are either going to be too scared to protest or too smart to voice their opinions outloud and potentially incite other incarnations into rebelling

"If you want to enjoy happiness, it is common sense to pay a price." - 😬

'Department Head Han pulled out his business card as people cheered him on.' - this was very 'and everyone stood up and clapped' energy, but irl, crying

'Finally, I slowly controlled my breathing.' -meaning he wasn't controlling his breathing before? a point in favour of kdj having therapy in the before times, but idk. i feel like kdj DOESN'T have 4th wall yet. he's not 100% chill about the scenarios happening......it's suspicious that he's actually narrating his emotional reactions at this point and having to work at being calm instead of just telling himself to calm down

i didn't expect or remember that matrix ref lol. now all i can picture is hsy shoving the red pill down kdj's mouth and telling him to wake the fuck up

lhs.....so earnest..................also pretty sure the seoul dome doesn't go up until after the 1st scenario is complete if lhs is still getting messages on his phone

with all these political assassinations...i wonder if the dokkaebi got rid all of the nuclear weapons and such too. just to make sure they don't interfere the scenarios. bihyung's comments show that some research can be done and the existence of the disaster of questions is proof the dokkaebis have observed earth for at least some time now. the 4th and 5th scenarios were designed too specifically not have had extensive research beforehand

'Subconsciously, I made a fist using all my strength.' - that one arthur meme 😂

ljh ...... 😭😭😭😭😭

'confused for a moment' 'stunned for a moment' - HIGHKEY BELIEVING HE DOESN'T HAVE 4TH WALL

interesting that kdj doesn't even think of opening his attribute window until after he gets his mysterious attribute (maybe 2nd?).....almost like he didn't have the 4th wall to help him block his profile and also calm him down enough to think of it beforehand...............

if yjh is in car 3707....and the rest of the gang are in 3807.....who the fuck is the pale guy mentioned to be in 3907? throwaway line? typo? side story tie-in?????

knw......i know thematically he has to die here but also goddamn it would have been so funny to have him tag along and become part of kimcom. kdj picking up all the teen rivals lol

"Think carefully. The world you have known so far has just ended." - pretty sure kdj says something similar later. ~thematic parallels~ .....also i need to find that teen!kdj au fic as soon as i finish reading the novel, i have been dying to read it

...poor grandmother. what an awful way to live your last few minutes before you die.

kdj would have been so fucked if this wasn't a round where yjh killed everyone in his car with an explosion.

lgy is crying, oh nooooooo 😭😭😭😭

'The locusts and grasshoppers were jumping around in the collection net.' - insects, not just grasshoppers. this coupled with knw's uniform makes me think it's late summer/early fall....i need to lookup the korean school calendar later to be sure, but i don't get the impression it'll be winter anytime soon

'Right now, I was facing the explosive madness that tried to kill the grandmother yet a smile emerged on my face. Why? Even in this breathtaking tension, why was my heart beating with joy?' - adrenaline and having control for the first time in your life maybe

i always wondered who the 2nd constellation wanting knw was........

also wondering if knw would have joined the military asap after finishing school

man wouldn't it have been so funny if one of the grasshopper eggs slipped out of kdj's hand and knw stepped on it and he passed the 1st scenario anyway???

i know knw is a total homicidal weirdo ....but he didn't have to go like that 🥺

kdj doesn't recognize his own face....doesn't notice there's no actual blood on it......feels like he's looking at a novel......is it dissassociation, the 4th wall, or maybe it's maybelliene

'…And I was the only reader who knew the ending of this world.' - what a dramatic ending to those chapters. fitting as well!

[foineswoine]

good evening my mutual in law (the mutual of my mutual) im just here bc centricide. ok lemme scrounge up some of my fav fics of all time forever and ever

ok so this one hasnt updated in a while BUT I remember it being really fucking good n shit 👍 (my last centricide hyperfix was midway through last year so I dont remember the fics toooo well but I do vaguely remember if they were good or not. yknow.)

oh ymy god there was one author I liked just bc I enjoyed the comedy of their works yknow lemme find them

theyre like not beautiful amazing masterpieces but I did find them pretty funny so theres that yknow

uhh what lelse do I remember. well that one ancap/commie hanahaki fic actually changed my life but yk the one already. OHHHH WAIT THE LESBIAN FIC

OK THERES THIS ONE CENTRICIDE YURI FIC WHERE THEYRE AT COLLEGE AND ALSO THEYRE ALL GIRLS/WELL ANCOM ISNT BC QUI IS NONBINARY BUT AFAB INSTEAD OF AMAB YKNOW. LEMME GRAB IT UP idk if I finished it but I do remember really enjoying it

ioh yeah theres another yuri fic that I rmember reading and liking but idk if I can find it again... oh yeah just found it

uhhh I might drop more if. you want. lmao. n if I can find more that you prolly might not have read. goddamn I really should rewatch centricide huh

since no one else is gonna do it centricide_acc is the best centricide author i have found thus far (THE TWO CENTRICIDE FANS IN THE CHAT GIVE ME RECS RIGHT NOW) and i love them :)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 309: Gotta Go My Own Way

Previously on BnHA: Muscular was all “well if it isn’t the protagonist on his solo journey of self-discovery, for some reason I’m unironically glad I get to fight you!” Deku was all “hey Muscular before I finish kicking your ass would you please take a moment to answer these two survey questions? Question one, do you regret being a total piece of shit? And question two, if you could do anything at all in the world other than being a total piece of shit, would you?” Muscular was all, “pfft, no and no.” Deku was all, “thanks buddy, your feedback helps make me a better hero, here’s a coupon for fifteen percent off your next ass-whooping.” Then he whooped his ass.

Today on BnHA: Deku is all “what up All Might can you believe you’ve been here this entire time?” All Might is all “I sure can since that’s literally my catch phrase, anyway how are your magic movie 1 gauntlets holding up?” Deku is all “they’re holding up fine, how are Hawks, Endeavor, and Best Jeanist doing?” Hawks, Endeavor, and Best Jeanist are all “we, your fellow co-conspirators, are also doing fine, thanks for asking!” Flashback!Deku is all “anyway so I secretly have All Might’s quirk and the most dangerous people in the world are after me, so sorry mom but that’s why I’m dropping out of school.” Inko is all “I CAN’T ACCEPT THAT” while totally accepting it. All Might is all “I GUESS WE’LL JUST HAVE TO GO ALONG WITH IT SINCE I DON’T FEEL LIKE TRYING TO STOP HIM.” Hawks, Jeanist, and Endeavor, as previously mentioned, are all “yeah that sounds like a good plan”, and Gran is all “see ya kid, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” So basically everyone in the entire world has suddenly teamed up with Deku to defeat AFO, except for the one person whose entire foreshadowed endgame is “teaming up with Deku to defeat AFO.” O Kacchan where art thou.

dear tumblr image limit: okay look. you don’t like me, and I don’t like you. but just as an experiment, I’m gonna try writing this recap with as few images as possible and we’ll see how it goes

(ETA: spoilers for how it went: it didn’t, lol.)

oh my god WHY ARE WE OPENING WITH MORE KETSUBUTSU ACADEMY KIDS.ffs we’d better at least finally get some Ms. Joke content out of this

(ETA: seriously who do I have to bribe.)

so these two KB kids who no one cares about are watching Deku leap away from the scene after dispatching Muscular. but more importantly wtf is this chapter title omg. “I can’t stay being a child” so that’s how it is huh. we’re gonna have feels and we’re going to like them. well then

oh my god he’s hauling Muscular away dhfksklfkh okay this is gonna have to be our first image because I can’t fucking help myself. look at this

just. Deku is so tiny and he’s carting away this massive unconscious lump of a man like it’s nothing why is this so funny to me. it’s like when people buy furniture, and they don’t want to pay extra for delivery and so they’re like, “I can definitely fit this king-sized mattress in the back of my compact sedan if I fold the fucking seat down, idk.” and they refuse to be talked out of it, and the next thing you know you’re watching them drive home with their open trunk door haphazardly tied down with bungee cords, and somehow it fucking works. because it turns out the compact sedan has super strength

anyway for SOME REASON now Horikoshi is all “have fun with that Deku, meanwhile we now return you to your regularly scheduled SHINDOU CONTENT” whyyyyyy

look at this. we’re really using up a whole fucking entire page on everyone arguing over who gets the honor of carrying Shindou

love how the civilians are all, “shit lol is this actually our fault?? quick, how do we play this off all casual like we were the reasonable parties here all along”

turns out all it took to finally get them to listen was making them watch while a kid got his insides ground into a pulp because of their stupidity!! what a heartwarming conclusion to this little standoff

anyways THANK GOD we’re cutting back to Deku now!! well actually we’re cutting back to Muscular who is being dropped off at the police precinct, good bye and good riddance lol

so Deku’s leaving him there and bounding away and okjdlSKFJLKJDSL OH MY GOD

no fucking way. no fucking way this little jaunt is All Might-sanctioned and approved. are you serious?? then who else is in on this?? what the hell is going on

so All Might is just WAITING FOR HIM IN AN ALLEY FFF WHO ARE YOU, JIM GORDON. or would Alfred be a better analogy here?? but like, Alfred if he ditched the suit for a moto jacket and shades

this new ensemble of All Might’s may or may not severely impact my ability to take this forthcoming conversation seriously; please stand by

also, quite the spectacular landing there, Deku. seriously lol what was that

“HOW ARE YOUR LIMBS” “THANKS TO YOU THEY’RE COMPLETELY FINE” I’M SORRY WHAT

LOL WHAT. “THANKS TO THE POWER OF THESE MAGIC GLOVES” OH I SEE THAT EXPLAINS IT

are these the same gauntlets from the first movie, then? well that’s all well and good, except that now there’s going to be more Deku Discourse than fucking ever lol. so if it’s all the same to you guys, I’m gonna once again go ahead and declare this week’s post a discourse-free zone, at least when it comes to the specific discourse of Deku’s merits as a MC, and the impact that him kicking ass and having working arms has on said merits. this has been something of a low mental energy week for me, so I’d rather reserve the energy I do have for more fun topics, such as All Might’s bitchin’ leather jacket

anyway so All Might’s saying that the gauntlets will help reinforce Deku’s arms, but they can’t withstand OFA at 100%. so basically it’s a support item designed to maintain the status quo lol. we’re basically in the same situation we were before, arm-capability-wise

homg All Might’s getting a call. time to see who else is in on Operation: Deku Alone?? or not so alone for that matter

omg

HI HAWKS, WHERE ARE YOUR WINGS

(ETA: seriously are they really gone for good?? why would he even be back on active duty then?? does he have his own American ex-boyfriend who can hook him up with exclusive support items?? dammit Horikoshi we want answers.)

looks like Jeanist and Endeavor are teaming up as well, just like they said they would. I would gladly follow this trio around all day long tbh

is this the same giant villain from the very first chapter??

looks like it to me, and it would tie in with that callback from the end of chapter 306. we all thought that was Muscular, but maybe it was this guy, and Deku left these three to deal with him while he ran off to take Muscular down

oh my god now Deku is running off again just like that

kids these days

ffffff I have not had nearly enough sleep to follow along with whatever tf Hawks is talking about here sob

like, is he trying to say that All Might is keeping Deku’s whereabouts unknown to anyone except for him?? in order to keep him safe?? but Hawks is pointing out that that’s a bad strategy and probably won’t do shit against AFO and it’s better if he lets Deku work with the rest of them?

(ETA: so @hanashimas​’ translation makes a lot more sense -- it’s not All Might who’s being overprotective, but Deku. in other words he’s trying not to drag All Might into his battles. and in addition Hawks is saying that their strategy is to take the offensive and go after AFO themselves rather than wait for him to come to them. which I’m not too sure about myself, but that’s another topic for another day.)

btw I can’t help thinking how much better this entire conversation would be if All Might was still wearing his sunglasses. put them back on my dude. it’s not too late. embrace your inner badass

DKLJSLDKFJL FLASHBACK ALERT, FUCKING FINALLY

“turns out, we were just trying to scare you straight. fuck lot of good that did though lol”

also what is this. one true love: the hospital bed. is that a scanlator joke or is Horikoshi actually that funny omg

SKLJDFLJLK

ITSA ME!! omg I love this hospital so much. though it’s sure not helping me in my quest to try and keep this post below ten images. I’m already up to eleven haha r.i.p. to me if tumblr doesn’t get its shit together

whaaaaaat, so he’s saying that Deku’s injuries were external (i.e. Tomura beating the shit out of him) rather than internal this time?? whaaaaat. excuse me but that’s some bullshit lmao. believe me, I was there

okay now he’s going on to explain that Deku’s “internal structure” seems to have been protected from the inside and out, and the corresponding panel seems to be implying that using Blackwhip as a brace paid off. huh

and also that his body is just stronger now?? so I guess he’s better able to withstand the quirk after an additional year of training?? I’M NOT SURE IF I BUY ANY OF THIS LOL but I’m willing to suspend my disbelief

OH MY GOD RED ALERT, INKO IS ASKING ALL MIGHT TO EXPLAIN WTAF DEKU’S QUIRK IS, IS IT FINALLY THAT TIME OMGGGG

SO HE’S EXPLAINING IT TO HER OFF-SCREEN, AND INKO IS JUST LIKE

I GUESS THAT’S FAIR LOL. IT’S TRUE INKO I’M SO SORRY, YOUR SON IS A PROGATONIST R.I.P.

AHHKKJH DEKU ANGST IS IT FINALLY THAT TIME OMGGGGGG

what is this soft pop beat that’s suddenly being pumped in over the speakers. I’VE GOT TO MOVE ON~ AND BE WHO~ I~ AM~~~, I JUST DON’T BELONG HERE, I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAAAAAAAND. also, follow-up question, when is Kacchan finally going to come back so he can jump in with the “WHAT ABOUT US~~~” bridge, huh. come the fuck on, Horikoshi

lmao All Might jesus christ

but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision...

anyway, yes!! finally that sweet, sweet “I don’t want to put anyone else in danger” angst!!

mmm that’s good angst Brent. Kacchan with center panel honors as usual, you love to see it. anyways though who do I have to yell at to get Deku a goddamn HUG around here seriously

so Inko is of course reacting with panic, and sensibly saying that she doesn’t approve of Deku’s “RUN AWAY AND FIGHT THE BAD GUYS ALL ON MY OWN, DON’T WORRY MOM I’LL JUST GET STRONGER, EASY AS PIE, IT’S A FOOLPROOF STRATEGY” plan

son of a bitch this manipulative green asshole is really gonna sit here and smile fondly at his mom and try to convince her that he’s Not A Little Kid Anymore. the hell you’re not mister

y'all are really just gonna sit there and let him talk you into this?? surely it can’t be that easy??

OH MY GOD

THE FEELS oh my god oh my god. BUT ALSO YOU’RE SERIOUSLY JUST GOING TO COLLAPSE INTO HIS ARMS SOBBING AND LET HIM DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS LKJLJLFK. WHERE ARE ALL THE STRICT PARENTS AT?? AIZAWA, GANG ORCA, MITSUKI, SOMEONE PLEASE COME AND TELL DEKU TO SIT HIS ASS THE FUCK DOWN. NOW LISTEN HERE YOUNG MAN!!

“EVEN IF I TRY TO STOP YOU YOU’LL STILL LEAVE” WELL SURE, IF BY “TRY TO STOP HIM” YOU MEAN POLITELY TRY TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT FOR THREE SECONDS. HE’S SIXTEEN WTF WHEN DID HE BECOME THE BOSS OF YOU ALL. SOMEONE NEEDS TO COME AND TELL HIM HE’S GROUNDED

anyway sob so that’s the story of how Deku talked his parents into letting him drop out of school, and even convinced All Might to be his own personal Guy In The Chair. holy shit. this kid really went and rolled a nat 20 and the rest of them had no choice but to fold without argument

meanwhile here’s a panel of Best Jeanist trying to braid his phone into his hair just cuz

I’m dying to know which part of his language he considers to be crude here. you literally didn’t even use a contraction my guy

so now flashback!Deku is talking to Gran in the dark, and Gran is all “can you believe I’m not fucking dead yet lol that’s too funny. anyway, you sure I can’t interest you in killing Tomura after all?? no?? okay then here’s my cape.” truly a heartwarming scene

I’m kind of torn here tbh. on the one hand, my adhd ass wasn’t all that interested in sitting down and having an extended scene between these two when there’s so much else that I want to get to. but on the other hand, even I can admit that cramming this entire reunion into a single page seems just a BIT rushed. idk. like maybe someone can let Horikoshi know it’s a marathon and not a race. Deku didn’t even get any dialogue here, some of us want to know his thoughts!! but anyway

AND JUST LIKE THAT?!

how did all four of them let him con them into this. I literally just watched it happen and I still can’t figure out how. “I GUESS THIS SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT IS OUR LEADER NOW” ffflfjf. when Aizawa finds out he’s gonna go apeshit. AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BAKUGOU KATSUKI, WHO I HAVE BEEN ASSURED DOES IN FACT STILL EXIST. WHAT ABOUT USSSSS, WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WE’VE BEEN THROUGH. WHAT ABOUT TRUST???! YOU KNOW I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOUUUUU

btw lol don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying this, and I’m honestly glad Deku’s not alone because that would suck for him! but that said, Hawks and Jeanist have lost any credibility they might have once had as far as being The Responsible Ones, and as for All Might and Endeavor, fucking hell lol. everyone just deposited all of their fucks in a bank somewhere for safekeeping and decided to never look back. godspeed you mad lads