#ID HAVE CRIED IF I WOKE UP KNOWING I DID NOTHING

[777catlives]

Happy dazai day

[star-dust-stuf]

Albert Shaw x fem!reader

title: go ahead and cry little girl

warnings: none, pure rotting fluff

a/n: yes! another one, as always this has nothing to do with sex or abuse. listen to the song daddy issues by the neighborhood. sorry for typos, with love!

-

He left the basement door unlocked. He wanted me to play the game because if I didn't he wouldnt want to keep me here and I wanted to stay, stay with him. So I had no choice but to play and I never really knew how far I was able to go, once I made it up the steps it wasn't so hard because I've done it before, but I really didn't want to leave. 

But this time was different, I saw him in a chair in the kitchen, facing the steps to the basement, he was sleeping, his soft snoring. I didn't want to play this game at all, at all. I knew if I didn't hed force me to leave. He wouldn't kill me believe it or not because he knew id rather die that leave him. He knew I wouldn't tell a soul. 

I was barefoot, in the nightgown he gave me. The time floor was cold, he had his shoes on, he was definitely ready for something. I got close to him and tilted my head at him, he had his mask on like always but I could see his eyes were closed.

The back door was right there and I aprouched it, it was locked so when I unlocked it made a loud click and my fight or flight kicked in and I ran out that door. I didn't know if he woke but he did, he was in a shock but he didn't hesitate to get his van from his garage and chase me down the block. 

I was running, the cold night wind hitting my face and my hair. My feet hitting the hard pavement, what am I supposed to do? Would it be reasonable to scream for help? No. But what am I supposed to do? 

He stopped his van and got out as fast as he could, he ran after me. He took me down on the hard ground, on the wet grass, I cried out in pain and he immediately covered my mouth as a porch light turned on from across the street, he whispered in my ear, his voice was rough and mean sounding. "Say one word..."

I was breathing heavily, I couldn't help it. The adrenaline i felt to the tension made me start to cry, he felt bad for this and he felt he was being unreasonable. He put his lips to the side of my head and kissed me gently. "Hush." He said softly. 

His arm that was around my torso, I put my hands and gripped him a little, he kept whispering in my ear and trying to keep me from making any noises, which he knew I wouldn't do it intentionally. "Shh, shh, shh." 

He kissed my cheek, and when that porch light turned off he looked around for a second then lifted me over his shoulder, I didnt really know what to do, but I couldnt do anything or maybe I just didn't want to. He put me in the back of his van and I could tell he was angry by the way he slammed the door. 

We got back to his home, he carried me down to the basement and set me on the bed, tossing my gentle. He was breathing heavily, his fists clenched and his eyes narrowed to me. "Why would you do that... To me?" 

His voice was heavy, dark, his chest rising and falling with every breath. "I thought if i-." I tear up. "If I didn't try to... Escape, you wouldn't let me stay..." 

His breathing slowed, it was more calm and his eyes soften. "I was so scared... You didnt want to stay with me, you didn't want to be loved by me." 

I look at him, tears falling down my cheeks. "No, Albert. I thought if I didn't play that game you'd hurt me." 

Albert looked at me, his blue eyes shining in the dim light. "You dont listen. Bunny, I've told you. In any way you think i'd hurt you, is that fear I want you to let go of. I will never do something so terrible to you, the mere thought of trying to hurt you... To touch you. It's sickening." 

He scowled softly at me as he sat on the mattress, he strokes my cheek with his thumb and wiped the tears. "You don't have to think you have to hurt yourself to stay with me, that would be the opposite of why I took you." 

My tears grew heavy he saw this and without hesitation he pulled me tight to his chest. He put gentle pressure on my back and whispered in my ears, in a lullaby like tone. "I'm right here. And leaving is the only way you'll get away from me, and will never let anyone take you away from me."

[leonw4nter]

My Daddy Forever, You’ll Always Be

ID!Leon + GN!Child

Dad suffered a lot. Uncle Chris or Aunt Claire tells me just how much he suffered and how he continues to suffer. No one had to tell me that my dad pushed all the suffering back and didn’t feel into them just to take care of me, even when the scrape on my knee was nothing compared to the fracture in his collarbone or the swelling of his eye. I do my best to be there for him, reminding him to celebrate birthdays or find happiness in the mundane like coloring books but I guess even that isn’t enough to fill the mom-shaped hole she left in his heart. No one’s going to fit in there, not even me, and I don’t think dad wants anyone to fill it in and that’s okay because I have a mom-shaped hole in my heart too, even if I only know how mom looks based on pictures in the frames and photo albums dad loved to look at.

On every birthday he has, we always prepare two candles– one for him and one for mom, even if they don’t share a birthday (they’re six months apart). Dad always sadly sighs when he blows out her candle; I think he hates doing that. I hate observing that though they were born a few months apart, they’re even more apart now that one of them is still on Earth while the other is in heaven now. Despite the fact that I sort of killed mom by being born fussy, Dad still loves me and does his best to be present in my life. He knows which dresses to buy and doesn’t mind wearing make up, even when the lipstick is smeared or if some powder got into his eyes. Sometimes I think he’s trying to make up by treating me well because I look like the splitting image of my mom and he’s trying to suppress the guilt every time he sees me but I don’t mind; he lost a woman who’s been around in his life longer than I have been. He lets me sleep in his and mom’s room sometimes, letting me sleep in what he said was her side of the bed. If we both couldn’t sleep, he could talk about anything and everything but her. There was one time where I told him that my classmate’s mom remarried after her dad died in service and that she was happy and I asked him if that would make him happier.

“Marriage is how you know that your love persevered through tough times. A second marriage is proof of how you were willing to give yourself another chance to love. I don’t think I can marry again because I know I won’t be able to love someone else as much as I fiercely love your mother,��� was all he said before I turned to face him, his chest shaking slightly and tears streamed down his stubbly cheek. I apologized to him and quietly promised that I won’t ever make dad cry again and that I would do my best to make sure dad stayed happy.

Dad isn’t very keen on writing; he’d much rather install a tile and get dirt underneath nails he maintained than write on several pieces of paper back to back but I notice that he began buying stationery in order to write letters but those letters were never sent. He keeps them in a womens’ shoe box and occasionally takes a letter out to read as he quietly cries to himself. On the night of what would be five years since mom left us, I woke up in the middle of the night to find dad’s side of the bed empty. I got up and saw him sitting on the floor as he hugged the shoe box close to his chest.

“Will we ever see each other again? How long until you’ll come back to me and our daughter?” was what I heard as he continued to cry. I have heard Dad cry but never as gut-wrenching as this. I continued to watch him cry, tears of my own spilling and I felt bad for him. Aunt Claire told me that dad never showed fear when he was at work, shooting and defeating the bad guys but whenever he looked at me, there would always be a small tinge of fear in his eyes. She said that he just didn’t want me to see the world the way he saw it, whatever that meant. I couldn’t take it and I ended up sobbing, maybe as hard as dad did. He heard me and got up, walking over to where I was hiding. He lifted me and hugged me tight, pressing kisses to my hair and repeatedly apologizing for being a little too loud when I was sleeping. If only Dad saw that he had nothing to apologize for but how could he see that when the splitting image of his wife is me and my face reminds him of what he gained and lost on that day?

I hope Dad doesn’t beat himself up for losing what he had left of mom. I hope he doesn’t feel sad whenever he sees another dad with his wife bonding with their daughter in a park. I hope he doesn’t cry whenever it’s his birthday and he pokes a third candle into his cake. I hope he doesn’t consider himself a bad father because I would rather live a short life with dad than a long life without him. It made me sad how dad would never see me in a wedding gown and would probably never walk me down the aisle or have our daddy-daughter dance; after we watched the movie Father of the Bride and seeing dad get all emotional about it, it kind of made me a little happy to image dad being so excited for me. I hope he will be kind to himself and let himself experience happiness. I hope that God would let me be reborn as dad’s best friend so I can help him get through what he went through. He would’ve been a pleasure to walk to school with. Hmm. Maybe he’d be the type to remind the teacher of homework.

NOTE - Sorry for dropping this short and mid ass fic, I just had to hop on my computer and write this one bc I came across this one wedding tiktok where the dad sees his daughter who's getting married for the first time and I cried then suddenly remembered I wrote an angsty fic where Leon's kid dies and I decided to add this as the kid's POV. I was too sad okay I just HAD to write one up but looking back at it, now that I'm not that sad, it's actually... ehh. A for effort, I guess. Anyways, that's it and thank you SOOOOOO much for reading my fics, it means a lot to me :) I <33333 UUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

The dividers are from @saradika , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[angelsworks]

No where to Hyde 5 Dark!Tyler Galpin x reader

Previous Part -> Here

Masterlist -> Here

Summary: Tired of you ignoring him, Tyler decided to pay you a visit at your dorm.

Warnings: 18+, sexual themes, thigh riding, kissing, slight Dub-Con

Fifteen minutes ago he’d decided it wasn’t working. No amount of kissing, or touching or pounding the pussy beneath him was working. It did nothing for him. It was a wonder Tyler had even gotten hard in the first place.

Yet here he was, desperately chasing his release from the girl below him. She’d been a last resort. Some girl that used to be in his class at highschool.

Her every moan was over the top and hurt his ears. Every time she came it only pissed him off further. Every squeeze of his cock had the opposite effect. While she was having the time of her life experiencing orgasm after orgasm, Tyler was close to putting his head through a wall.

Finally he called it quits. Pulling out rather swiftly and tearing off his condom, disposing of it in the nearby bin.

The girl, who’s name Tyler couldn’t remember, lay panting on the bed. Her eyes dazed and head in the clouds, feeling completely euphoric.

“Oh Tyler, that was, well…incredible. Most guys stop when they’ve cum. You - you, you’ve got the stamina of a racehorse.” She laughed in disbelief.

He hid his sneer. Pissed of that she thought he came, but also at the irony that his best performance had made him feel the worst.

Hurriedly, he got dressed. Leaving quickly after. The girl was shocked, but he didn’t care.

He was certain now. You’d ruined him. The bond between the two of you existed for one and made it impossible for him to get a release anywhere else.

After your night together he’d felt better than he’d every felt before. It was such a high it was indescribable. He fell asleep with you in his arms.

When he woke up you were gone. No note, no text, nothing. He was angry. That was his first thought. You were his now. You couldn’t just go running off. Not when he felt so desperate to fuck you again.

Now a week after your night together, he’d still heard nothing. It wasn’t through a lack of trying. He’d text you, phones you a few times, even tried to face time.

To say it upset him would be an understatement. It enraged him. He wanted you, needed you. For sex that was true, but also just to hold you. To be near you and smell your scent. It calmed his Hyde.

In fact his Hyde had been more under control than ever. It was even tolerable. He could change at will now and had no raging bloodlust or desire to kill. It was a fact he was keeping to himself for the time being. Knowing that if Thornhill was aware of his change in savagery, she’d deft have something to say about it.

So he waited. Bided his time until he could see you again. But he was growing incredibly impatient.

Your phone pinged.

You ignored it.

Instead you lay in bed. Trying to sleep. Trying to find some comfort in your baby blue sheets.

You’d cried countless times after your night with Tyler. Part of you couldn’t make sense of the influx of emotion. The other part could.

You felt as if you’d given yourself a taste of freedom, a taste of what could be. Only to rip it away when your mind finally reached a rational state.

Tyler was great. But you couldn’t stay with him. You wouldn’t be able to have a life with him. Instead you’d be subjected to what you could only imagine to be brutal sex every night with the monstrous Hyde.

Your phone pinged again. And again. Then this time it vibrated.

With a groan you picked it up. Half expecting the caller ID to be Tyler. Which had been a common occurrence over the last week. Instead you saw that it was Enid. You pressed accept and put the phone to your ear.

“Hey (Y/N), thought we might have to send a teacher in to check on you. I mean - we just haven’t really heard from you in a while and it’s kinda worrying -“ Enid started to ramble. Someone in the background said something that cut her off, putting her back on track.

“Oh yeah, me, Wednesday, Ajax and Xavier are going to talk about The Hyde at the weathervane -“

Another shuffle could be heard on the end of the line.

“Oh and hand most likely. I thought it’d be good for you to come along, maybe bring your book.”

It was true that you hadn’t heard from the group in a while. After you revealed your own connection to The Hyde you’d almost been blacklisted. Wednesday had definitely been distancing herself, which wasn’t necessarily out of the norm, but still hurt your feelings.

Seeing your friends did sound like fun. However the idea of bumping into Tyler. That did not.

“Thanks Enid. But I’ll have to pass. I’ve been sick since the middle of the week. I think I’m just gonna rest.”

“Oh okay, no problem. See you soo-“ you didn’t let her finish as you ended the call. Needing to submerge yourself back into silence.

You couldn’t decide how to deal with the situation. It felt like the days dragged on but also felt extremely finite. How much longer before you had another call from your parents? How much longer before you bumped into Tyler? Before you have to face The Hyde?

The thoughts had consumed you for the majority of the week. Poisoning every though like a parasite.

You decided a long bath in the adjoining en-suite would lift your spirits. As you went you took the fancy salts you’d been gifted for Christmas and a bath bomb you were sure would be exciting.

Tyler’s eyebrows lifted and his lips spread into a smile as his eyes searched the group of teens entering the weathervane. It had been slow all day. His thoughts more often than not drifting to you. He hadn’t text you today. Finally getting the picture that you were trying to ignore him. Which had really pissed him off.

Now he stood making drinks and serving cakes in the hardly populated coffee shop. Hoping the hours would tick by faster so that he could go home and relief the throbbing in his pants.

“Hey Tyler!” Enid greeted, bouncing up to the counter. Ajax in tow behind her, while Wednesday and Xavier stayed back. Quietly conversing with each other about the case.

“Hey Enid,” The barista tried to be as enthusiastic as the brightly coloured girl, but his heart was elsewhere. “The usual?”

She nodded, then added on the rest of the groups coffee orders. The group moved to a slightly larger booth than usual, chatting about the upcoming school events while waiting for their drinks.

When drinks arrived their conversation quickly shifted to The Hyde. Updating Tyler on some of their new findings.

Without seeming too interested he decided to bring up your absence.

“Oh, (Y/N)? I asked her to come but she said she was sick. Has been for most of the week apparently. Maybe I should bring some soup back to Nevermore.” She said more to herself than the table.

Tyler could feel his heart falls. He had a hunch you weren’t sick. Instead just avoiding him. He had no idea what he’d done. The night you shared had been one of the best of his life. Surely he couldn’t have been the only one enjoying it?

He didn’t let his face betray him as he continued the conversation before going back to work. He wasn’t going to put up with your behaviour anymore. You couldn’t avoid him forever. Not if he came to you.

With a black towel wrapped tightly around your figure you emerged from the en-suite. Steam streamed out from the bathroom. Dissipating into the warmer air around you.

You walked towards your bed, ready to dress in your pre-laid pyjamas, until someone cleared their throat behind you.

Startled, you felt as if you’d jumped from your skin, but you recovered quickly to look for the intruder. What you saw was Tyler, dressed in jeans and a plain T-shirt, sitting idly on the chair in the corner of your room. Almost hidden out of sight, he sat quietly in the shadows of your room.

You spluttered, lost for words, “Tyler? What are you doing in my room? You shouldn’t be up here.”

His eyes gave nothing away. No worry, no anger, no sad puppy dog eyes that you’d seen occasionally. No guilt for sneaking into your room, waiting for you to come out from your bath.

“Come here.” His words were soft. Softer than you’d expect for someone who’d been ignored for the last week.

You could feel your stomach flip as you looked into his eyes. Desperately trying to see if this was some sort of joke.

“I won’t ask again.” He simply patted his left thigh. Both thighs were spread wide, filling the entire seat of the chair.

Gingerly, you walked over to him. Holding your towel tightly in an attempt to calm your anxiety. Reaching a stop between his Jean clad thighs.

His hand reached for your own. Pulling you forward so you were forced to perch on his knee. Sitting sideways to the chair and to him.

One of his arms wraps around your waist. The other lays over your lap. He uses his fingers to draw lazy circles on the top of your thigh, just below the towel.

“Enid says you’re unwell,” his eyes search for yours, despite you trying to avoid them. “I came to see if you were okay.”

You swallow, “I’ll be okay. Thanks anyway Tyler, you should go.” You try to get up, pushing him away. But he doesn’t let you. Instead pushing his hand down firm on your thigh and using his other to wrap tighter around your waist.

His eyes flash, a hidden storm beneath them, “Let me take care of you (Y/N), it’s the least I can do.”

His words sound kind on paper yet the way they fall from his lips are full of malice. He reaches a surprisingly gentle hand up to your forehead. Fingers pressing to your skin, trying to feel for a higher than normal temperature.

“Hmm, you don’t feel warm here.” His lips come to your ear, speaking softly to you.

You can’t control how your thighs clench and a need grows in your belly. A fire almost, begging to be sedated, to be put out. It made you feel hot. More specifically it made your core hot, made it burn.

He hummed once more, leaning away from your ear and back in the chair. His hand slid from your forehead to the side of your face, fingertips tracing down your neck, to the cotton of your towel, then finally to your thighs.

“Tyler, no.” You mutter weakly. The protest is an effort to preserve the little will power you have left. While you do desperately want to be touched by Tyler, fucked by Tyler, you know it’s not a one time deal. Every time you do this with him, the more you put on the line. The more you’ll have to deny when you finally fall in the clutches of The Hyde.

He shushes you, prying your thighs apart with little resistance. Trailing his hand down to cup your pussy.

“It feels warm here. I think your little pussy is trying to tell me something hmm?” He questions. Causing your cheeks to heat and your gaze to fall elsewhere.

“You feeling funny baby? Feeling all hot?” The pad of his thumb trails to your clit. He starts to rub it softly, in slow circles. He enjoys how it makes you moan quietly, how you start to whine in need.

His thumb on your clit does little to calm the burning in your belly or the heat at your core. Instead it ignites it, making you feel needy, desperate.

Then it stops.

Your eyes flick to Tyler’s, a frown apparent on your face.

He scoffs, a smirk falling on his face, “Oh no baby. You don’t get to ignore my calls all week, avoid me and still get me to play with your pretty pussy.”

You whine out a complaint. Rubbing your thighs together from the loss of contact.

“Please Tyler,” the words fall from your lips before you can stop them. “I need you.”

It takes an extreme amount of self control on his part to not fuck you right there and then. But he resists. He needs to set ground rules with you, show you that you aren’t in charge. You can’t ignore him all week and still have him chase you. You need to work for it.

“You don’t deserve it baby.” His lips come to your forehead, pressing a gentle kiss there.

“But you can work for it.”

You look at him, puzzled. Only last week you’d had your first sexual experience. Your lack of knowledge lead to you coming up blank.

Tyler sees your expression, “I want you to straddle my thigh.”

You obey almost immediately. Arranging yourself so you’re sat with a thigh either side of his left one.

“Now sit down.” You lower your weight so your core is pressed directly to his denim.

Your eyes watch his, waiting for his next instruction.

“Now ride my thigh.” Your mind goes blank, cheeks now feeling increasingly hot and your legs feel weak.

“I don’t - I mean…” you start to stutter. Unsure about what he means.

His hands find your hips. Gripping the cotton clad skin. He used his grip on you to guide your hips. Pulling you forward, then down, then grinding back on his thigh, then back up.

The friction going directly to your clit. Feeling good and aiding the want in your belly. Soon his guiding lets up and he leaves you to ride on your own. After a few strokes you build up speed. The friction feels good and brings you closer to your orgasm. Quiet moans spill from your lips. Tyler on the other hand is quiet. Content in watching you get yourself off on his thigh.

His cock was hard well before he got you to grind on his thigh. Now however, it feels like the buttons on his trousers will pop. He wants to help you reach your orgasm sooner, but he knows you need to do this on your own. This is your punishment for ignoring him.

Soon enough you’re shaking as you cum on his thigh. Thighs quivering and pussy contracting. A final moan bubbles from your lips as you sigh.

“Good, now let me fuck you properly.”

[detectivewoof-a]

Photo: a person at a book signing table with a matching photo by them

Prey drives were really never a thing for me until the day I realized who he was. 

1980, I think it was. Finally scraped enough money to at least buy a cheeseburger, found a bussing job that didn’t ask too many questions about what I was doing in the US, I had thought I shaken them for good in the streets of Georgia. I had forgotten all about them, honestly, up until I woke up with a shotgun pointed at my face somewhere between Jackson and Atlanta and a bat cracking across my head. 

Funny how that seems to happen a lot to me. 

Woke up in someone’s apartment the next day, some guy and his wife saying they found me but couldn’t find enough ID on me to take me to the hospital. Made sense at the time, all I crossed the border with was a name in my head and a need to escape the ghosts that haunted me back home. My half-broken English probably made my thanks a little strange, but they were nice enough folk. Gave me some food, an ice pack, insisted I stayed until I felt like myself, didn’t really question why he had pamphlets for shelters ready... 

In hindsight, I probably should’ve. In hindsight, sometimes instinct is worth it in the end. 

I wasn’t used to nice, so it bothered me that they were so willing to take me in. And they both had a smell to them that was familiar. He never seemed to stop smelling like burning dirt and copper wires, while her hands held the musk of oleanders.  

I didn’t think much about it until I read one of the pamphlets. Recruitment material, the fucking sun symbol plastered all over it the same as the bodies I left buried back in Guatemala. At the time I didn’t know if it was chance or if they thought they could turn me into a pet like Lydia and Marco but I... made them regret their kindness. 

I still remember her screaming about how they didn’t know they’d find children in the desert. It was funny, because I hadn’t mentioned what happened. A guilty consciousness does make memories a little clearer, it seems.  

They were easy to cut a deal with. They promised to supply me with anything I needed, that even their family would supply me without question. Anything to clear their minds about the children that cried for their parents on that day.  

They were more than willing to sell out their own generations to escape their hell on Earth. Admittedly, I probably enjoy it a bit more than I should.  

Even the boy was taught quickly. His forgeries were honestly better than the fucking fangs that gave me the papers in the first place. He’s skittish about the whole arrangement, which is good. I know he always wants to mention how he has nothing to do with whatever vendetta I have against his parents, but I know him well enough to know he wouldn’t dare. I know he’s hiding their location from me for that reason, taking their punishment upon himself. 

But between you and me? If he knew what they did? He’d ask the Soul-Guide personally to lead them to the deepest corners of the Underworld. 

[zermizomilk]

 Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away.  [wild card question: opinion on cheese? <-not sure if i asked this]

nope

tea

got a tape measure this time 178cm

teal ish

physical contact ain't my thing

spiders

either teal or a minty colour

i like winter

no tattoos

earrings

irl friend

yes. 2 years i think by now

pet bird

just woke up so yeah

6 maybe 7 hours of sleep

nah

read paper trails a year ago my eyes got watery

2020. I know it was shit all round but it was a field day for content creation

i guess cartoons

don't really read book lesst i got to but i guess pinocchio

angry

"im quick with decisions but when it comes friendship i go slow so i don't want to fuck up again"

summer break

i guess playing games with friends

id probably stay inside my house

closed

lily

what is a "squish"

where i live we don't really use middle name soo nothing much to say here

think i've said cats before

prob arachnophobia

usually

don't like the beach. i like most things when it's cloudy

"it was adventure time but that ended a while ago but it stays nothings as good as what was on bach then"

the-alakazam-attraction largefound iamunabletothinkofablogname jocket

squiddo01 Don't really like bothering people with tags

1 older brother

friend but i told her accidentally she wasn't supposed to hear that

not really no

to be alone

nope

i guess my brother

goodnight see you tomorrow

cheese good

[blood-loving-leech]

uh, big tw for a rant abt my sui attempt and like complete detail so definitely don’t read it unless you’re in a good state of mind please ily all maybe don’t read it at all actually idk i just needed to get it out and pretend someone actually cares

also it’s very long

today last year i went back to school after a fantasy dream trip to California with my dad for sailing

i sat down in my math class and i realized i hated my school, i was failing at everything i used to be good at, i had lost all my friends, my ex had ghosted me for a week and a half, my teachers thought i was weird for bringing a teddy bear to school in 10th grade, and my parents were always dissapointed,

i was worth nothing to nobody, and i had pills in my backpack

so i sat through my math class, and my chemistry class, and then i went and sat in my hallway for lunch, alone

i sat there with my pills in one hand and my bear in my lap and i stared at them, and i stared at them, and i held my bear, but before i could let myself chicken out i swallowed em without even taking a sip of water and then my hand was empty

and i panicked for a minute

i thought about going to the bathroom and purging

but then i calmed down, i just sat there with my bear for lunch, and felt numb, id have cried maybe if i could, but i couldn’t

tbh i didn’t think there were enough pills to kill me actually i just was kinda hoping they would anyway but two periods later i could feel it

it was really cold, like ice, like slowing down, and i started thinking about my childhood, i wrote a story for my english class that day, 5th period, about a person drowning in an icy lake, remembering all the warm days they’d lived, and my tablemates loved it, they were asking question about like, what it was about, and i just told them i didn’t know

i spent 6th period trying not to pass out and failing, it was so cold even with all my sweaters, from the pills and all the weight i’d been losing, my hair was greasy and my clothes were dirty and i was slumped over in my seat in the very back of spanish thinking “maybe ill actually really die after all”

i went to drama club after school and sat in the crappy auditorium chairs and wrote two letters, one to my parents telling them i didn’t expect the pills to kill me and one to my ex, one i never sent, it’s still sitting in my room sealed in an envelope with two of his favorite teas, im too scared to read my desperation but i can’t throw it out either

i went home and i set everything up on my desk in case i really did die and i finished the day and went to bed not really expecting or at least kind of hoping i wouldn’t wake up, i didn’t even say goodbye to my ex, or anyone else, there wasn’t anyone else to say goodbye to anyway

but i woke up the next morning and on the walk to my bus stop i was furious, i was miserable, and i was numb, i watched the pine needles pass under my feet and i could only think about how fucking stupid it was that i was still alive, and i learned nothing from the previous days fear because i told myself that after school, after therapy, i was going to take the rest of my bottle that was in my room

and yeah

idk

i’ll make another post about the hospital cuz fuck

but like

that was a whole year ago now

i remember all of it

and now it’s this year

and i’m still alive but like

nothing has really changed and honestly? what the fuck

why does nothing change

why does nothing get better

why didn’t i get help? was i not sick enough? why have i had to try and fail over and over again to pull myself out of that hole with only a therapist who got fired and a therapist who quit and a doctor who said im too fat for an eating disorder?

i mean what’s the fucking point

[izzysbeans]

It is so common of me to wish i was dead. As a kid i was obsessed with beetlejuice, i wanted to be like Lydia, talk to the dead. I even asked my mom one day if i could have her seance table with candles and all. I remember how she freaked out: she thought i'd started to like the dead more then i did the living. In retrospect maybe she was right. She forbade me from watching beetlejuice for a while, but ghosts were everywhere and she couldnt stop death from following me.

Around that time my grandmother and my great-grandmother both past away. I insisted my mom let me see their bodies. She couldnt believe how calm i was. 8 years old, looking death straight in the face, no fear in sight but rather fascination instead.

At 11 i started going out on my own and id walk alone to the cemetery, sit right at my grandfather's grave and tell him all about how me and my brother were doing. Id see him in every white butterfly and every sunflower field. I envied that peacefulness and i wished i could reach him.

At 14 i met a boy who liked to cut his thighs. He hated his life and there was a weight of expectations on his shoulders, things he could never do, he could never be. He tried to kill himself and i screamed out the door of that bathroom so loud i thought i'd never be able to speak again. My brother kicked the door down. There was a lot of blood. He survived and he hated me for saving him. I didn't know what i was saving him from. It broke my heart i wondered if it was my right to make that decision for him, if i had made the right one.

That same year i tried to kill myself too. It is not that i thought there was no way out or that i was trapped in some way. I felt like i didn't have anything to do with this world or in it. I felt like there was no saving me anyway. Id imagine my friends and family suffering for my death. Slowly but surely getting over it. I took all my pills and i went to sleep. Too quickly my body realized what i had done and i started throwing up compulsivly. We lied about what had happend when i went to the hospital. I felt nothing when i woke up.

When i turned 16 my cousin Sara past away. She left a husband and two kids here. I went to see her body and in a way i was relieved for her. She had suffered so much because of her cancer. I couldnt fathom her strenght, she foght it for so long. At her funeral i cried in anger because the priest dared to say god had claimed her and god makes no mistakes: i kept thinking how cruel must a god be to rip a family apart like this. For the first time i thought maybe death wasnt so fair after all.

At 21 i studied to become a mortician. For the most part i was just looking for a job. I felt like not many people wanted to do it and it seemed like something i could be good at. I saw some bodies and reacted accordingly. I was happy. It felt like i was doing a good thing. Honoring them. But there isnt much work in that industry for someone who looks the way that i do. So i had to find a new job.

Now i work at a tech company and i find myself back to when i was 8. Wondering every day what lies beyond the vail. Wishing i was experiencing Lydia 's adventures. Wanting to cross over to find out what else is there. One foot here one foot in a different realm, always living a half life, never fully experiencing anything. I stay in the world of the living and yet all my life i have lived as a ghost.

I am alive but death still follows me.

[star-dust-stuf]

Albert Shaw x fem!reader

title: in your embrace, I will stay

warnings: cursing, angst, rotting fluff

a/n: as always this has nothing to do with sex or abuse. listen to the song pretty girl by 4ever falling. I hope you like it, it's a little sad but as always, with love!

-

I woke up in a cold sweat, on the mattress. The moon was shining in from that small window up top making light in the dark basement. I sat up a little dizzy and tired, it wasn't the usual time id wake up nor did I even think Albert was down here either. 

I stood up, my bare feet on the cold pavement, I destinctivley remember when he left the basement before I went to bed he left the door unlocked. 

I walked to the door and open it. I didn't think anything of it of course I was either stupid or didn't care. When I took the first step on the stairs I saw the warm light from the top, it made me go up further so I did. 

When I reached the top I saw the kitchen it was small and to my right there was a table, to my left there was garbage can and a fridge. 

And then him... He had his mask on, only the top half, a belt in his hands, he was asleep. Why did he leave the door unlocked and was he waiting for me?

I was oblivious to the situation at hand, he snored softly and I couldn't help but smile a little, I looked at him for a moment but then something happened out of my control.

I stepped not feeling a bit of need to hide in fear but that was only as of right now. I reach my hand, I gently touch the side of his temple, his soft wrinkles. 

His eyes opened just as fast as I could step back, he stood up and gripped the belt in hand. I fell back on the floor a little shocked by my heart stopping for only a second.

"What did I say... Didn't I say if you came up here, I would make you beg me to stop!" He yelled.

I flinched, it was hard to see his eyes so angry. "Albert..." My voice was only a whisper.

"The shit you have to make me worry about-." He sounded so sad yet so mad.

"I wasn't going to escape, you know that!"

He held up the belt, I cover my face in absolute fear and start to cry, he just couldn't do it. Watching me as I cried in fear and confusion, he knew I wouldn't leave him and he knew he'd never hurt me no matter how hard I can be on him, he really only knew I didn't understand. 

He groaned in anger, he threw the belt to the floor and yelled aloud thrashing the dishes on the counter and breaking them, he was so angry at himself, he could bring himself to hurt me. I yelled for him. "Albert!" 

He was breathing heavily, his heart aches at the sound of my desperate voice. He got to me, he grabbed my wrists and made me look him in the eye, he didn't say anything cause the fear, the sadness in his eyes said a lot. He pulled me back down the stairs. "Albert, you're hurting me!" 

He pulled me to the bed, "do you not understand why you stay down here..." 

"Yes I do!" I shout at him.

He grew even more angry, he grabbed my wrists and pulled me to him. "ID FIND SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY LOVED ME BEFORE I WAIST MY TIME ON YOU!" 

I fell against him, sobbing in his arms. He didn't know what came over him, he wrapped his arms around me, he was so tall only my head reached his chest and he was able to cradle me. I look up at him, sobbing. He wiped my tears gently. "Shh, shh, shh." He cooed. 

"I-i though maybe s-since you l-left the door open I'd be a-able to see you. I d-dont want to sleep alone!" I cry.

He wiped my tears with his thumb, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. "I left the door open... On purpose." 

was confused, "Why? You didn't think id actually run away from you." 

He sighs, "Bunny, you make me worry." 

"You don't trust me?" My eyes water and his heart aches at the sight.

"No, no bunny. I needed to make sure you weren't scared of me." I tilt my head. "I couldn't hit you with that belt. You stood there confused and scared but I knew you weren't scared of me." 

"How could you know that?" I ask.

"Because you looked at me like you didn't know me at all." He put a lock of hair behind my ear. 

"I just wanted you." 

His eyes gazes down at me, his large hand cupped my cheek and he sighed softly bending down to my level. "Go on, Bunny. I'll tuck you in."

When I got on the mattress and pulled the little blanket he gave me over my legs. He sat beside me and rubbed his thumb over my forehead. "I won't ever let you go, you know that?"

He covered my eyes, I heard a rustling and a kiss on my head, he took off his mask though he covered my eyes I still felt his warm breath on my forehead. Another rustle was heard until he uncovered my eyes. his mask was back on.

"I'll sit right over here until you fall asleep, okay Bunny?" His voice was soft as he crouched down against the wall on the far left from the mattress. 

[wheresthefunindoingwhatyouretold]

Forbidden fruit part 2

Paring Reader x Pierre Reader x Charles

Raed part 1 here

You fell asleep thinking of Charles what was going on in your head. You woke up in the morning thinking it was all just a dream and if not a one time thing you had been drinking nothing could happen

The rest of the trip was amazing swimming in the ocean, amazing dinners. It was the most perfect time.By day you had Pierre being the sweetest person ever and every night you and Charles would do the same thing you had done on your first night. On the third night he facetimes you and you thought it would be awkward but it started off just talking about your trip and then by the end you were both playing with yourself until you came while still on the call.

"I need this to happen in real life (Y/N) I need to see you when you're home"

It was one thing to be doing this over facetime but did you really want to go there with him. You didn't have any romantic feelings for Charles you knew that and you seemed to still be getting on as friends so what would one time charge

"Okay when I get back on saturday I can go and meet you or you can come to mine"

The trip came to an end and when you walked into your house and Pierre hugged and kissed you goodbye why did you feel so lost without him. There was no way you had feelings for Pierre he was your old and dearest friend but why did you always feel this way when he was not around. You thought back to all the times he was away from you over the years had it always felt this way. Did you just district yourself with something else so you wouldn't figure out how you felt about him. Is this what you were doing with Charles? sure you had Pierre in the form of a boyfriend going on dinner dates cuddling watching movies but without the physical side of things. If you couldn't have Pierre that way would you make do with being in love with him silently and getting to spend as much time with him as you could and while he was away flirting with Charles. 

Your head was all over the place no you didn't love him that way you just had a perfect holiday with him and just were missing him nothing more. You pushed the feelings you had to the back of your mind like you had done before without even thinking about it all those other times.

After a few more kisses you tell him how badly you need him in you. Not yet he whispers he sets you on top of your island. You lie your back down as he kisses up and down your legs he gets in between your thighs kissing you slowly and tracing his fingers over your legs. He could see through your underwear how wet you were "hmm so wet for me" as he kissed you on top of your underwear. He took your underwear off with his teeth, seeing him standing there you never wanted someone more. Please Charles, I need you right now. He smirked at you "in time sweetheart I want you to feel good first" the second his mouth touched you you felt sparks fly all over you. The way he used his tongue was like nothing else you had ever felt. The waves of pleasure kept coming. How could just his tongue be making you feel this way. You told him you were getting close to cuming. He kept licking your clit with the perfect amount of pressure and all of a sudden he took 2 fingers and stuck them in. "omg " you cried out just when you thought it couldn't get any better this was it you were gonna cum. "cum for me baby" he had his other hand grabbing at your breast. All of this was helping build up the pressure it was growing you finally let go, as the pleasure rolled over you you had to catch your breath. "that was amazing you said in between catching your breath my turn to help you"

You went to walk out of the room to go to your bedroom you looked round and seen Charles was still standing there, "you coming" where to he said "well as great as that was id rather you fuck me in my bed" he smiled so much and ran behind you up the stairs. When you got to your room he stops and tells you "you know this is just fun there's no feelings in this were just friends"  this didn't bother you you didn't have those feelings for him right now all you wanted was him to fuck you. "Charles were best friends I love you but not in that way this is just two single people having fun" well if it's fun you're looking im up for that,

As soon as you got into your room he lifted you up and thew you on to your bed. he kissed you all over and starting taking off the ripped dress. He was sitting up right and you got on top of him you could feel how hard he was againt you. You placed his rock solid dick in you and eased back down on it taking it all in "fuck you're so big" Charles loved that you kept saying that. You started off moving up and down slow to ease yourself as it really was that big, as you started getting more and more into it Charles lifted your face to look at you and kissed you deep moaning as he kissed you. Your clit was hitting off his rock solid abbs. You started getting faster and faster the closer you go to cuming, as you got closer to cuming Charles took very and started thrusting up into you as soon as you came you pressed your forehead on his. "I love feeling you cum" Charles said as he kissed you.

You spent the next few hours in bed with Charles the sex was amazing he knew what he was doing and was amazing at it. Once you couldn't cum any more you two ordered food "worked up a bit of an appetite then" he asked laughing you went and grabbed a shower. When you were about to get in to the shower you got a message from Pierre

Pierre xx : missing you already.. xx

you felt yourself smile and you sent him a kiss face back and told him you missed him too and would see him soon

How could you have just spent all afternoon fucking Charles but one message like that from Pierre and your smiling like this.

Before you got into the shower you took a mirror selfie without anything on and sent it to Charles something for you to look at when i'm not around.

Charles xx : careful I might have to follow you into the shower

The winter break came and went and in no time at all it was winter testing. You had spent Christmas with your parents and the rest of the time you spent it with Charles and Pierre. Amy was there for a week. It was good to see Pierre so happy, and of course any time you and Charles got a minute alone you were all over each other. You were in Pierres house and he was making you both dinner. you got a message from Charles

Charles xx : you look so good today, don't know if I can wait until we are alone. I need you now.

(Y/N) : Pierre is right there... okay meet me up in the bathroom in 5 mins

"Pierre im gonna go grab a shower before dinner" sounds good he replied and gave you a hug before you went up the stairs. This was normal for you to do any time you were at his you ended up getting a shower and somehow ended up in his pjs and a Alpha Tauri top of his. You could never bring yourself to wear any of Charles top you were a Red bull give after all.

After about 5 mins of Charles hearing the water running he told Pierre he had to take a call from Arthur so would be down in a minute. He knew you two were best friends so he never would have thought you were together in his bathroom fucking,

Charles came into the bathroom smiling at you you just had a towel wrapped around you. He ran over to you and lifted you up onto the sink, Right at the edge. He kissed you and started moving down your body. He was rock solid, he started rubbing it up and down you getting the tip all wet. "stop teasing and fuck me we don’t have much time" as you wish Charles smiled as he filled you up, your legs were wrapped round him and he went deeper and faster you started to moan which made Charles fuck you harder he got his hand down and started playing with your clit you came one seconds after this Charles could feel you tighten round him which made him get to the point of cuming. He lifted you up and spun you round bent over the sink this time looking in the mirror your tits were swining back and forth slapping the faster he entered you. He pulled your hair and as you moaned Charles exploded inside you and then fell on top of you kissing your back. That was nice, he said.

6 months had now passed from you and Charles had started you arrangement. It was great you both knew how each other's bodies worked and every time seemed to get better and better. But you knew it had to end, not that you had caught feelings far from it but Charles had started to get really into this girl and you knew he liked her you didn't want him to not go for it becasue of what you two were doing and he didn't want to be the one to stop it why would he he was getting sex any time he wanted it.

(Y/N) : Charles can you come to my room when you can x

Pierre saw this message on Charles' phone; He didn't think anything of it until he saw the picture that Charles had saved as your contact. It was you with nothing on, in your bathroom. Why did he have this picture of you? Were you together why didn't you tell him, why was he so angry it was Charles who had this sort of picture of you and not him. Wait why was he thinking like this you were his best friend he had Amy why did his heart hurt at the thought of you being with someone else, not just someone else but charles you were all best friends if you were okay with destroying a friendship for someone why wasn't it him. Pierre had started to relaise his replationship with Amy was going nowhere but he had not ended things yet he was having fun with her. He felt like if he was single again the thoughts and feelings he had for you would be harder to ignore and if you were now with Charles he didn't know how he would cope. It was on thing you being with some other guy it was hard enough but if you were together his two best friends he didn't know if he could be around you two he didn't think you could see them together without wanting it to be him with you.

Pierre believed you were his soulmate if he couldn't be loved by you the way he felt he would settle for always being there for you. From when he was 16 to he was 19 he thought everyday about telling you how he felt but he didn't want to lose you. At his 18th Birthday you had both got really really drunk and he though this is it I'm going to tell her he pulled you aside in the club and he told you "I love you (Y/N)" I love you too Pierre and he kissed you this was the best kiss he had ever had looking back he is sure it is was he was  really drunk. They all after this decided to take the party back to Pierres family home in Monaco. There was a guy with (Y/N) all over her. You came over to Pierre and told him you thought you kissed that guy in the club and was going to see how things go. at this moment Pierre realised she didn't know they had kissed so to help with the pain he got really drunk and the house got wrecked. He never told you how he felt or thought about it after that he couldn't take that pain anymore.

After free practice Charles went to your room, he had done really well so of course you had to celebrate before you told him this couldn't happen again he started off pleasing you that was something you did like about Charles no matter what he made sure you came over and over and would always start with you. You let out such a loud moan which made Chalres even harder. What you didn't know was Pierre had decided to go to your room to talk to you to see if the picture meant anything. When he heard that he knew he had lost you to Charles.

You talk to Charles and tell him how much his friendship meant to you and you only ever wanted to see him happy he said the same you were lying in his arms you knew that even though this was coming to an end you knew you two would both be okay. He told you he had started to have feelings for Charlotte but he liked the time you two spent together and was worried incase he lost you. "Charles I have been your best friend from we were 13 I love you but not in that way this has just been fun a lot of fun but what I want more then anything is to see you happy with someone" he smiled at you and told you that you'll always be the best at sucking his dick and grabbed you in for a hug when he pulled away he had a tear in his eye. "how lucky am I to have you as a friend I want you to be happy in life" are you going to tell Pierre "what we keep this a secret for 6 months i'm not going to tell him now

Read part 3 here

[rafescoke]

Need To Know (Part 2) ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

#Part 2 

#Part 1

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Reader confronts Rafe about his past

Warnings: More angst, more flashback smut, substance, swearing, Rafe being a dick again

A/N: Thank you so much for the overwhelming love from my last post! I love you to the moon and back <3

p.s, my request box is always open for you to drop in any ideas!

“My god, you both look great.”

Rafe chuckled, too drunk to say anything, and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend of 4 months. The night breeze flew past everyone on the yacht as they strolled down the stream, moving their hips along to ‘Summer’ by Calvin Harris and trying to hear each other’s conversations over the loud music.

“Thanks, Tops,” (Y/N) smiled, feeling her body moving to the beat. She thought about the amount of drinks she had, but giggled when she had to recount again, and then frowned when she kept forgetting the number she ended on.

“What are you thinking?” Rafe whined, pulling her away from Topper who had his arms around another girl, trying to move on from his failed relationship with Sarah Cameron. He had told Rafe and (Y/N) that he have never felt better, but they both know the truth. He was completely wrecked after the breakup; when Topper found out about Sarah and a certain boy from the other side of the island, Rafe had to be there for him every single night until recently. He was too afraid of the things that Topper would do to himself.

“I can’t remember how many drinks I’ve had tonight,” she cried, tugging on his shirt as she placed her chin on his shoulder. Rafe laughed, patting her back before pulling her to face him.

“You had 8 shots. I had more.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, raising her brows. When she saw a smile slowly creeping onto his face, she groaned loudly.

“You always do this to me!” She grunted, but a tone of humor laced in her face. “God, I hate you.” She made a move to talk away, crossing her arms.

“No-” he shook his head, pulling her arm so that she will end right back into his arms again. He grinned when his tactic worked, “You don’t hate me. You love me too much.”

“Disgusting,” (Y/N) made a face, and stood on her toes to whisper into his ear. “Wanna do something?”

Rafe looked at her, and when he saw the sly smile etched onto her face, he kissed her fully on her lips, always admiring this side of her that she rarely shows to other people.

When he first found out about this opposite side of his girlfriend, Rafe couldn’t believe his eyes. He tried to convince himself that when she had asked to do coke with him for the first time that night, it was merely his imagination and not reality, but when she woke up next to him the next morning, the sun highlighting her hair and eyes, smiling shyly at him, he knew that it had, indeed, happened.

“You want to do coke?” he asked, forcing himself to keep his grin concealed. “Right now? In the middle of the party?”

(Y/N) hummed in response, and kissed his cheeks. “Please?”

Rafe didn’t answer her as he pulled her through the many dancing bodies to one of the back rooms in the yacht, trying to contain his excitement. The last time they had done this together ended up being one of the best nights of Rafe’s life, and he hoped to relive it again.

Rafe poured the intoxicating powder on the cold table, licking his pink lips as he separated them into four lines using his driver’s license. (Y/N) saw a glimpse of his handsome ID photo on the card, and tried to stop herself from kissing him. 

How could someone look so handsome in their driver’s license? It’s impossible.

(Y/N) licked the side of his face as he tried to balance the lines evenly, not able to contain her feelings anymore. She felt like having him for the rest of her life, and she can’t imagine spending her future with anyone else. 

“What was that for?” Rafe groaned, but he was smiling. (Y/N) wiped the already- drying wet mark on the side of his face with her sleeve, only to be stopped by Rafe’s fingers around her wrist.

“I didn’t say you could wipe it.”

(Y/N) giggled, kissing his cheeks as he returned back to his previous work. She wondered again on the never ending questions of why would Rafe choose her amongst the many girls who have tried to get his attention since forever, but her thought was disturbed by the sudden swift of Rafe’s lips against hers.

“Ladies first,” he whispered, handing her a rolled up hundred dollars bill. (Y/N) smiled, putting a light pressure on her left nostril using her pointer before dipping her head to inhale the substance.

She threw her head back, laughing when she could feel Rafe’s soft lips peppering wet kisses along her exposed neck. She closed her eyes against the warm feeling, her fingers running through his messy hair.

“Your turn, baby,” she giggled, stopping her boyfriend before they could provide a free show for everyone else. Rafe sighed, clearly unsatisfied, but he took the rolled up bill from her fingers and dipped his head.

Before he could inhale the white powder, he turned to look at her, a glinting mischief in his eyes. (Y/N) groaned, wanting to spend her hazy trip with her boyfriend instead of going ahead of him.

“What is it?”

“Lay on your back,” he said, not looking at her as he took out the extra mini ziplock bags. (Y/N) looked at him with a frustrated expression. “I swear to god, (Y/N), just fucking do it.”

(Y/N) sighed and laid her back against the sofa, trying to hold her skirt from lifting up and exposing her black thong she had bought beforehand. She widened her eyes when she felt Rafe’s cold rings grazing her skin, closing her eyes when she felt his hands slowly creeping towards her aching core.

“What are you doing?” She hissed, closing her legs quickly. “Rafe, we can’t do anything here.”

“Relax,” he whispered, pulling her legs apart again, and (Y/N) almost moaned from the sudden cold breeze nipping on her skin. She gripped on his wrist again, trying to remind and warn him about his next move at the same time.

Just by the glare that Rafe had given her, signaling that he wasn’t playing and he hadn’t got the time to joke around, she let go of his wrist, looking up to her boyfriend who was unlocking the mini bag.

She hissed when Rafe poured a perfect amount of cocaine on her lap, enough for him to get on by the night. She watched as he separated them into lines using his driver’s license again. She gulped, her heartbeat getting quicker.

“Stop moving so much,” Rafe grunted, focusing on perfecting the lines against her soft skin. After a few seconds of trying his best, he looked back to admire his work, licking his teeth.

“Oh my god, Rafe, you can’t be-”

“Shut up,” he said, taking the rolled up bill and dipping his head until he was on the same level as her head. She bit her lips, nervous. She threw her head back when Rafe inhaled a line, her heartbeat beating quicker than that time she tried to hide herself in Rafe’s closet from Rose. 

She could feel his fingers gripping her thighs, and she couldn’t deny the growing feeling inside her. Rafe chuckled, wiping his nose, and dipped his head back to the previous position.

“Rafe. . .” she whined, trying her best not to move around so much. The grip around her legs tightened, and she gritted her teeth as he placed wet kisses along her leg, ending directly before her desperate core.

“Oh my god,” she groaned, closing her eyes.

(Y/N) has experienced nothing of that sort, and the farthest thing they have done was fucking each other in Rafe’s hot tub that one drunken night. The last time she did coke with her boyfriend, no body parts were involved and it was only the two of them and her grandmother’s glass table.

Rafe chuckled, rubbing his nose as he resurfaced from his second last line, holding the rolled up bill between his fingers like a cigarette. “You like that, huh?”

“I’ve never wanted you to fuck me so bad before,” she said, groaning as she tried to keep her legs still for Rafe to inhale that one last line, but she knew he wouldn’t make her life that easy.

She watched as he kissed the inner of her thighs, going upwards, placing more kisses on her hips and again, directly halting before her core. Rafe could see the wet mark on her thongs, and could feel himself getting harder. 

“Please,” she begged, looking at him with her innocent eyes, her fingers wrapping around his wrist. “Please, Rafe, baby, please.”

“As you wish, princess.”

She went into another unexplainable feeling as he did his final line, and then  giving her more wet kisses along her thighs and lastly, that resulted her into jerking her body upwards towards his chest; he placed a strong kiss on her clothed core. 

Rafe laughed, watching her pressed herself against him, trying to find any kind of friction. “Relax, baby. I thought you wanted me to stop?”

“Fuck you,” she whispered, before climbing onto his lap and attacking him with kisses. 

“Okay-” he said in between kisses, “Fine-” more kisses, “Fuck me.”

(Y/N) groaned, feeling his hard member all pushed up against her as she kept on attacking him with kisses. This is exactly the problem; he would tease her and she would just not stop. 

“People are watching, baby,” he whispered, stopping her fingers from unzipping his jeans. They were both breathing really hard, and (Y/N) leaned closer to his ear.

“Let them.”

He groaned as she finally unzipped his pants, exposing his throbbing penis against the night air of North Carolina. He tried to pull his and (Y/N)’s body downwards by an inch to hide their ungodly behaviour behind the table, but was caught off guard when (Y/N) gripped his fingers, halting his movement.

“I said let them watch.”

Rafe wasn’t sure if it was the drugs that took over her or it was just another side of her that she was finally exposing to him, but he couldn’t deny the excitement coursing through his veins. This was every teenage boy’s wet dreams, and Rafe couldn’t believe the fact that he was finally experiencing it.

Before he could prepare himself, he felt her sink into him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her forehead against his as she panted to reach her end. Rafe held her waist, not putting any pressure and letting her take control completely. He watched as she bit her lips, placing quick kisses against his neck.

“I love you, oh my god,” she said as she pushed herself down onto him, closing her eyes to concentrate on the familiar feeling growing in her stomach. “My perfect boy.”

“I’m close,” he shuddered, this time thrusting his hips against her to quicken the pace, feeling his end reaching. He didn’t care about the crowd that was starting to form near them; he was happy and content with the girl who was a moaning mess on top of him.

“Fuck-” she screamed as he released himself into her, falling against his chest to catch her breath. Rafe placed a lazy kiss against the top of her head as she grunted, too tired to even remove herself. 

“I wanna do coke with you every single night,” she whispered involuntarily as Rafe pulled her up, finally finding the strength to do so. He fixed her dress for her as she rested her head against the sofa, feeling so close to doze off for the night. Rafe smiled, tucking a strand of her hair before buttoning his jeans back again. He kissed her cheeks as she sighed, intertwining their fingers. 

“I’ll always love you, okay?” he said, but she was too tired to say anything back. She whispered something back, and Rafe laughed in return, and the night continued with her head against his chest as they snuggled up close on the sunbathing area. When the clock struck 12, they watched the fireworks decorating the night sky, and Rafe swore he had never seen anything more beautiful than (Y/N) under that glowing sky that particular night.

“Happy birthday, my love,” Rafe whispered, before placing a longing kiss on her lips.

(Y/N) woke up with a start.

She heard noises coming from her window, and she groaned before making her way towards the light. Her feet tapped lightly against her carpeted floor, feeling the cold temperature coming from outside.

Great. Just the person she wanted to see.

“Let me in, baby, please,” Rafe said against her window, fogging her glass. “Please? Let me explain myself.”

(Y/N) held her middle finger up to him before returning to her bed, watching the panicking boy from the corners of her eyes.

How could he climb up to her room after all the things he did to her?

“Oh my god-” she heard him speak, “It’s cold out here. Please? Let me in.” 

(Y/N) tried to block out his voice as she placed her pillows against her ears, but when she kept hearing his pleads, she couldn’t shake the bad feeling in her heart. She stood up from her bed, watching Rafe struggling to hold on to a branch, and opened the window, all while silently cursing to herself.

Rafe quickly shut the windows and sighed as he got used to the warm atmosphere, his eyes following the girl as she returned back towards her bed. Rafe stayed shut, following her actions, and sat beside her limp body.

“I’m-”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she cut him off, and Rafe watched as she shifted to get comfortable. She wasn’t looking at him, and Rafe felt a pang of pain across his heart.

“Please, baby, you deserve an explanation.”

(Y/N) stayed quiet, and Rafe took the silence as an agreement. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times, trying to find his voice; because this is exactly the problem -

He didn’t know how much more (Y/N) had heard from his ex’s mouth, but based on the quick summary that she had given him through the phone call an hour ago, everything that she told him was true.

Because he was stupid. He was selfish, and he didn’t believe in the idea of falling in love with some and making great memories with them. Life simply wasn’t that way to him - 

All he cared about was sex and drugs, and his ex filled that exact cravings in him. He grew attached, but (Y/N) had taught him love. She taught him all the things that he didn’t know existed in him before.

“It’s true,” was all he said.

He grimaced as (Y/N) let out a shrill laugh, and stayed shut right after. He felt the need to caress her but decided against it, knowing that she will probably push him off.

“And I’m sorry. I was stupid, okay? I didn’t mean any of that. God, I wish I can turn back time and did everything differently because god, I was so fucking stupid and I hate seeing you cry because of me.”

Rafe could feel his own tears crashing down. The last time he had cried this hard was when Ward yelled at him, saying how useless he is and that he will never be proud of him, but (Y/N) was there for him during that time to calm him down. 

Now he’s alone.

“God, (Y/N), you give me love and you’ve taught me how to love and- and, I can’t let you go now, oh my god, I can’t-” he took a deep breath, “Not when I love you too much.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered, and Rafe felt like killing himself at the sound of her voice in pain. “Why didn’t you fucking tell me?” She repeated, louder this time.

“I was scared,” he whispered back. “I wish I can take your pain away.”

“Rafe-” she sat up, her eyes puffy and red from the never ending tears since she fled the party. She looked at the boy she loves, and felt a sudden wave of emotion for the thing she was about to say.

“Can we stop seeing each other for a while? Can we take a break?”

“What?” Rafe shook his head, his fingers trembling. “No. No. You are not hearing yourself. No.”

“Rafe, please,” she cried, gripping onto her bedsheet. “Give me time to think. I can’t think about all this, just let me breathe!”

“You can’t let me go, (Y/N),” he whispered, trying to connect their fingers like always. When he saw her slipping her hand into her covers, he let out a breath.

“It’s too cold for you to go home. You can sleep in here, with me.”

“Don’t do this to me,” he said again, getting closer. When she flinched, he used all of his energy not to let out a yell, knowing that it would cause her to leave him for good.

“Just give me time. To think. Okay?”

“I love you,” he whispered, “I’ll wait. However long it’s going to take, I’ll wait.”

She didn’t return his affection and Rafe waited a few more seconds for her to mutter the words back. He took a deep breath before standing up, limping towards her window again.

“Rafe, you can stay here. Don’t make this any harder for me.”

But he left anyway, and (Y/N) was frozen in her position as she stared at his previous space on her bed, his scent slowly evaporating into the air. She couldn’t believe it; she lost him. She lost every inch of him, the only boy she truly loves.

She cried again against her pillows, missing her boy.

#Part 3

-

add yourself to the taglist!

[cheeze-itz-company]

as I awaken, I have to complete my normal morning routine. take my medication, make two eggs, and turn on the television for the morning news, falling asleep early each night to ensure I sleep enough to make sure I'm rested for work, but I can stay energetic throughout the day. As I am listening to the news, I've notice the anchor speaking of a robbery, I went into the living room thinking of a house robbery. I see my face next to an unfamiliar woman on my television screen, in my house.

"If you see the suspects of the strings of robbery, please do not hesitate to call in..."

as the anchor spoke, I felt sick and dizzy, like I have been lost in time, trying to make up for lost years. there is a rapid knock at my door, my heart rate quickens, beads of sweat trickle down my forehead. as I open it, I see the girl from the news.

"Eyrn, we have to flee town. Are you packed? You said you'd be packed by now, " she said, panicking this mystery girl. I was panicking about me being packed to flee town.

"who are you, what are you doing at my house, YOU ARE A ROBBER, I have to call 911" I say running around trying to find my phone, the girl follows in close distance from me but taking note how I'm freaking out.

when I stop running, she slowly walks up to me with a black duffle bag and a note. she says nothing, nothing and hands it to me. the note contains writing. my writing.

"Eyrn, you're going to be confused. You're going to be lost, but please trust Lilith she knows you. she knows us. you have to run. there's fake Ids and a shit ton of cash, even a gun. You must trust your institution from now till night fall. Us and Lilith will be fleeing to an island we purchased months ago in preparation. Please purpose to her when you get there. she's the love of your life."

when you finish reading the letter you, you apparently wrote to yourself, you look over to the girl named eyrn she was beautiful, tourch read hair, amber eyes that could melt butter, fair skin with spots we call freckles. I see why she's my partner in crime. After I finished studying her I ran into my room and found everything. Me and Lilith ran out of the house, and she asked me to drive her car so I do, we drove to a small aviation center where I learned to fly, I requested my airplane and asked that all communication and tracking be turned off because I am proposing to my girlfriend in a remote location. Of course, it was granted, Lilith and I got into the plane, and I blacked out after that. When I woke up, I saw the island, and I saw eyrn making breakfast.

"did I switch again last night?" my voice trembled out of curiosity and nervous.

"Yes, but it was only to get us to the island you're staying like the Eyrn I want forever, I through your pills into the ocean." she says all as she turned off the stove, walked over, and hugged me.

I smiled, knowing she wanted this me and not the crime vigilant side of myself only brought out from the pills I took in the morning. That same week, I took Lilth out and proposed. she cried and said yes. I am happy I watched the news that morning. I am happy I robbed a bank while not remembering. I have a new life with a new person in a new place.

Prompt 2120

A person wakes up with no memory of the previous night, only to find out they committed a series of bank robberies with a woman they have never met before.

[immrbrightsideeee]

Movie and a kiss

Damiano David x reader (no gender mentioned)

Warnings: reader is Not Okay, at all and I guess this is a vivid description? idk, I haven't got it in my to edit but I want to publish something.

Word Count: 778

Summary: reader had a terrible fight with their family and their boyfriend Damiano is there to help pick up the pieces

A/N: thank you for the request!!! I hope this is OK and that you feel better :)

Yelling voices and red faces. Slamming doors and screeching car tires. Another wonderful evening spent with your family. You had had enough of their bullshit, was it so hard to be nice? Fair? A decent human being? Things had taken a turn with your family for a while now and you didn't trust yourself to be around them any longer, in fear you'd start crying. No weakness was to be shown. So you did the only thing you could think of. You grabbed your bag, blew the dog a kiss and walked out.

You were half an hour's walk away from your parents house before you realised you had no idea what you were going to do. The argument was replaying in your head and the bus-stop seemed too far for you to walk before the tears came. And they came like a tidal wave, and ocean flowing from your y/e/c eyes. What were you supposed to do?

And suddenly you were under that ocean, drowning in the flood of emotions pulling you under with no mercy. The light was fading and you lost you struggled to find your way to the surface, if such a thing existed for you at this point. Your eyes fluttered as water covered them, you saw nothing, felt yourself fall further and further, deeper and deeper as you fell apart, drowning in a pain that that hurt too much to feel.

Then there was an arm around you, pulling you to the surface, but in reality it was a small buzzing coming from your pocket. Your phone. Caller ID said it was Damiano. You answered it but didn't speak a word.

“Hello.” He said. Then a pause. “Y/N? Amore, are you there?”

You sniffled and mumbled a small “yes.”

“Cara mia, what's wrong? Tell me what happened.”

“Um, well,” you stumbled over your words, before giving him a rushed explanation that anyone would be lucky to understand, as you told random parts, out of order, in a panicked voice, with sniffles as intervals.

“OK, OK, amore mio, breathe. Deep breaths, alright?” Damiano waited until he heard you breathing into the phone slowly.

“There, that's better. Now where are you, love? I'll come and get you.”

–

A short while later, Damiano found you curled up, crying on the curb of the road.

“Oh cara mia.” he said as he scooped you up into his arms to carry you to his car. You were a wreck, ruined and falling apart, but this man would die to make you smile and would do whatever it takes to dry those tears falling from his favourite eyes.

–

When you woke up it was 8pm, and you were on Damiano's couch. You had cried so hard and worn yourself out that you fell asleep on the car ride over, but Damiano didn't have it in him to wake you, just let you rest until you woke up to a rumbling stomach.

“You're awake, amore.” Damiano stated, brushing some hair from your face. You smiled in return.

“Thanks for letting me sleep. And coming to get me. And listening to me rant.”

“It's OK, it's OK! I listen because I care, I picked you up because I want to be here for you, and I let you sleep because I care. You know that, my love.” He looked into your eyes with such intensity you could almost feel your soul start to heal by the sheer willpower of his heart.

Then the moment was over.

“Well, there is pizza in the oven, almost done, and I've got some popcorn, chocolate and vino for us to share. And a few movie ideas too, if you're up to it, of course.” Damiano offered with a gentle smile on his lips.

“I,” you didn't know how to finish that sentence. How do you respond to such love? “Thank you.”

“Sei il benevenuto, amore mio.” (you're welcome, my love.)

The singer disappeared for a moment before returning with a small pile of clothes.

“I know they will be too big for you, but that is part of the comfort,” he said, passing you a big jumper and a pair of track pants to wear. Much more comfortable than skinny jeans.

Ten minutes later, you sat with your head on Damiano's chest, a plate of warm pizza beside you, wearing his clothes and a big smile. A movie and a kiss and you found yourself living out a dream you once wished. To be happy and safe, alone with your love, but not alone rather than alone in it.

Taglist: @smiling-girl @levyasakura @sab-falco @charlie-rulerofhell @fandomfoodiedancer @niche-bitch also if you want to be on or off the list please let me know! I'm not entirely sure who I should be tagging for what fics

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 12: Resting at Home (Alt Prompt: Baking)

AO3

Prev

Waking up at five in the morning, feeling like you’re surrounded is disorienting. Waking up with a sore throat and shooting pain in her shoulder was also disorienting. Until she remembered everything from the night before. Adrien was not going to be happy. He’d begged her to tell him if she ended up going on patrol with her father, wanting her to be safe. She didn’t tell him, and now she was certain he was going to be angry. Unless she could get back to the hotel before he woke up. But it was still unlikely that he wouldn’t know. Plagg was a tattle tale. Sighing, she carefully gets out of the bed, maneuvering around her brothers’ sleeping forms on the floor. Walking out of the room, she instantly feels anxious. Deciding a glass of water might calm her down, she heads towards the kitchen. 

“I believe you should be resting, Miss Marinette.” Alfred says, making her jump. She winces as her shoulder jostles, trying not to frown at the way Alfred’s lips purse. She knew he was worried. And she knew her family was going to be unbelievably overprotective for the next six months. Or maybe, six years. She’s not exactly sure how protective they actually are. 

“I was going to get a glass of water.” She says softly, pointing to her throat. “I was also feeling a little anxious.” 

“Very well. I was about to start the preparations for breakfast. If you promise to sit and refrain from straining yourself, you may come with.” He says. She grins, immediately falling into step with the man. 

“Could we bake something for everyone for breakfast?” She asks, glancing up at him. “It doesn’t have to be anything too difficult. I mean, I’d prefer to make croissants the first time I bake for them, but there’s not exactly time to do that for breakfast.” She rambles as they walk into the kitchen. Alfred immediately walks over to a cabinet and grabs a glass, filling it with water before handing it to her and raising an eyebrow. She smiles gratefully and sips on the water, relishing in the coolness on her throat. 

“I believe our agreement was that you would sit and refrain from straining yourself.” Alfred says, moving around the kitchen with ease. Marinette huffs but plops onto one of the stools. 

“It doesn’t have to be anything difficult! It could even be….muffins! Muffins are popular for breakfast here, right?” She suggests, flailing her arms, wincing as she does so. It was going to be annoying remembering that her injury was there this time around. There was no Miraculous Cure when her opponent was just a bad guy, not a Miraculous holder. 

“If I allow you to turn on the mixer and place the liners in the tin, will you be satisfied?” Alfred asks with a sigh. Marinette grins and nods. There’s comfortable silence as Alfred moves about the kitchen, measuring out the ingredients. 

“Alfred?” She finally asks, glancing at the man who only hums in acknowledgement. “Who is Slade?” She asks. He pauses, the measuring cup positioned over the bowl. He takes a deep breath and dumps the ingredient in before straightening even more. 

“He was part of the organization that Master Damian grew up in. He’s always hated both Master Bruce and Master Damian. And now, I imagine, you’re also on his list.” He says calmly, clearly looking at her for some type of reaction. 

“So now another villain is after my Miraculous? Joy.” She says sarcastically, pouting as she slumps in her seat. “I was kinda hoping he was just some random guy. Not a legitimate villain.” She adds. Alfred simply shakes his head, sliding the muffin tin and liners towards her. 

“I can assure you, Miss Marinette. Between your father and brothers, this man will not succeed in taking your Miraculous. Marinette frowns, hoping the man is right. 

---

Sitting straight up in bed, Damian tenses. This was not his bed. Blinking, he looks around the room and lets his shoulders relax slightly. He was in Dupain Cheng’s room, of course. She had been attacked last night- He pauses. He frowns as he looks at her pillows, no sight of her. Leaping over his brothers, he knocks on the door for the bathroom attached to her room. 

“Dupain Cheng?” He says lowly, frowning at the lack of a response. He pushes the door open. Empty. So she was missing. She could not have gotten far. And she had to have left of her own volition. No one could have made it past all of his siblings. Leaving the room, he decides his first course of action should be to ask Pennyworth. Judging by the time, he should be in the kitchen. Making his way into the kitchen (his technical ban should not be an issue since he was actively looking for Dupain Cheng), he pauses when he sees the girl he was looking for, slumped onto the island. 

“Ah, Master Damian. Breakfast should be ready soon. Would you care to fetch the rest of your siblings?” He asks. Damian frowns, glancing at Dupain Cheng. Was she okay? Should she really be up and running around after yesterday? She might be one of Paris’ heroes, but surely she wasn’t used to being stabbed?

“Very well.” He says, instead of arguing. He would just have to monitor Dupain Cheng from afar. After all, she did take a sword meant for him. 

---

Marinette sighs, pushing herself off the counter. She wasn’t sure how serious breakfast was for the family, but she certainly didn’t want to scare anyone with her bedhead. Hopping off the stool, she winces slightly. 

“Miss Marinette, I do wish you would refrain from jostling your wounds so much.” Alfred says, a small frown on his face. Mari grins awkwardly. 

“Sorry Alfred.” She apologizes before rushing back up the stairs. She glances into several open doors, suddenly wishing she’d counted earlier to know which was hers. She huffs, prepared to give up, when someone clears their throat. She whirls around, raising an eyebrow at Damian. 

“That room is yours.” He says simply, pointing at a door. “Everyone has vacated your room in order to get dressed in their own.” He adds, turning around and walking into a room. Well that’s new, she thinks, surprised that he’s still talking to her. Sure they talked briefly last night, but she honestly thought it was a fluke. Not that she minded. She really did want a relationship with all of her siblings. After being an only child for fourteen years, it was amazing to have so many siblings. Sure they didn’t grow up together, but she was certain that they could all become close. Walking into her room, Marinette quickly gets dressed in clothes that had obviously been left in there by Cass, since they were much smaller than anything the boys could have worn. Smiling, she ducks into the bathroom to deal with her bedhead, squeaking in surprise as something flies into her face.

“Tikki?” She says, shocked at the way the Kwami flies at her. 

“You could have died! You silly, silly girl! I could have lost you last night, Marinette.” She cries, flying at Marinette’s face and patting her with her tiny paws. And in that moment, Marinette swears her heart breaks. 

“Oh, Tikki.” She says softly, bringing her hands up to cradle the trembling Kwami. “I’m okay, I promise. Don’t worry, I was with my family. They wouldn’t let anything happen to me. I’m right here.” She reassures her small friend, wincing as she continues shaking. 

“I couldn’t have saved you, Marinette. It wasn’t magic. There would have been no cure. I healed your shoulder as much as I can without disrupting the balance, but it’s still going to take weeks to fully heal.” Tikki says, her big eyes watery. 

“I know, Tikki. But I couldn’t just let Damian get hurt. He’s my little brother, whether he likes it or not.” She says, patting her friend’s head gently before moving to her brush. 

“But-” Tikki starts, pausing when Marinette turns her full attention back to her. 

“But nothing Tikki. I’m okay, you’re okay, and my family is okay. That’s all we can ask for.” She says, going back to her attempts to tame her hair. Her phone, which she had set on the side of the sink, starts buzzing incessantly. Without glancing at the caller ID, she answers. 

“Marinette Dupain Cheng, where the hell are you? Plagg says you left late last night and didn’t come back!” The worried voice of Adrien Agreste leaks through the speakers. Oh, right. She forgot to text him. Oops.

Next

Tag list: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @jaybird-and-co @imarivers8 @when-no-wings-dobroomsticks

[fire-but-ashes-too]

thank youuuu!!

i think i did one with one of my OCs over here (please check it out im really proud of it eheh) but never done this for myself!

*cracks knuckles* here we goooo

are you named after anyone?

yes and no, i just so coincidentially happen to be named after my maternal great grandmother, tho it wasn't intended (at least, not that i know of)

when's the last time you cried?

a few nights ago after i woke up from a nightmare where i had a spider on my feet biting me. dont ask. i panicked.

do you have kids?

nope and i dont intend on having any.

do you use sarcasm?

every day. as much as i can. my beloved sarcasm <3

what's the first thing you notice about people?

not the first thing i notice probably, but the one i remember more vividly, is the voice. i have a sound memory (is that how you call it? i cant remember) so i do this thing sometimes when im bored where i say the same sentence in my head over and over, each time in a different person's voice.

what's your eye color?

very boring brown. my right eye has slightly more greenish tones in it tho.

scary movies or happy endings?

uhmmmmm nice question id also like to know. no idea, it varies from time to time, as long as it's good idc. (rewatching rw&rb for the second time atm hehe)(why did i notice just now that in the red room scene the portrait behind alex while he's waiting for henry is ALEXANDER HAMILTON??? my internal theatre kid is screaming)

any special talents?

I HAVE DOUBLE JOINTED FINGERS. MY THUMB CAN GO UP AND DOWN AND APPARENTLY ITS SCARY BUT ITS SO FUN. and i can bend my fingers more than normal.

i also have a very quick memory and can loop my tongue.

where were you born?

here where i live, in verona :)

what are your hobbies?

an infinite moltitude of things. too many to count.

painting, drawing, writing (duh), reading, doing absolutely nothing, crocheting, doing clay stuff, baking/cooking, making plans on how to jump out of a winfdow in case lessons get too boring, learning progressively concerning and detailed facts about literally anything, acting and watching musicals. that's all that comes to mind rn.

do you have any pets?

none sadly, i've wanted a cat for a very long time, then a rabbit, a hamster, a fish, etc. my parents were always either allergic or against having a pet so i never had one.

any sport you play/played?

im an aerialst! i do aerial silks and aerial hoop and i like to think im pretty good at it (modesty aside its probably the first sport i've ever really been great at so.. yeah.)

when i was little i tred volleyball (a disaster), gymnastics (again, a failure), swimming (not bad but i didn't like it that much), skiing (i only went on winter break tho, and i absolutely despised it, although i won a couple races) and... yeah that's all i've done more than a couple lessons at.

how tall are you?

1,60. short. i think.. 5.2? i use the metric system sorry haha

what's your favourite subject?

uhhhh probably history... yeah. it's the only subject that the more you go into it the more interesting it gets, and it doesnt really grow harder like maths you know.

what's your dream job?

definetly acting. the idea of telling stories by becoming part of the story feels so amazing to me.

the ultimate-dream™️ is acting in a film/series based on a book. the fact that someone views and pictures you as a fictional character, as a character people read about, and talked about... best thing ever.

that's it! thank you so much for reading this far :D

gently tagging @holdmyteaplease @the-chaotic-writer @alhyastarain @jaxypaxyhaxy @dancinginsepia @a-k-oblackhat @ember-writer @justremuslupininamask @ashwithapen @aspiringfictionwriter @yesireadbooks @guessillcallitart @mychemicalwhatever

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

@kaiarchives tagged me in this game that I haven't had the pleasure of seeing before, so that's exciting. The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

1. Are you named after anyone?

No.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last Sunday. I don't think it was for any particular reason, I just had a headache and was feeling down.

3. Do you have kids?

No.

4. What sports do you play/have played?

I played a bit of a football as a kid and a bit of volleyball for school. I also did range shooting in my tween years.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Quite a lot. I've been trying to cut back and be a bit more genuine, but my habit for being sarcastic and my generally low moods have given me a bit of Resting Bitch Voice, so people don't always pick up on it.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Facial shape I think. Before I learn someone's name I generally remember them by the shape of their jaw and cheeks.

7. What's your eye color?

Blue, but it's a kinda greyish blue.

8. Scary movies or Happy endings

I like scary movies with happy endings. Give me protagonists who face down with the worst of humanity or the nasties of the world and come out alive and swinging, if not a bit traumatized.

9. Any talents?

I'm told I have a way with words. In general I don't believe in talent in the "innate skill" way though.

10. Where were you born?

Oslo, Norway.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, movies, video games (mostly strategy and roguelikes,) I used to sing in a choir and I kind of want to get back into that.

12. Do you have any pets?

No. Haven't really had the opportunity to, but I'd like to get a dog someday.

13. How tall are you?

178 cm, so... what, 5'10?

14. Favorite subject in school

Language and it's not close at all. Social Sciences as a second place I suppose.

15. Dream Job?

Author. Give me a way to live from writing and I'll churn out books at a brazen clip. It might drive me crazy, but it'll be worth it.

As for the tags: @frostedlemonwriter @shay-puppitty @longwuzhere @indigostudies @an-elegant-void @mjjune @marlenadutch @fire-but-ashes-too @meerawrites @sparrowrising @silverslipstream @floweryprosegarden @the-secondborn-of-seven @chishiio @a-had-matter

[beomeli]

Rainy days - C.BG

Warning: none

Genre: angst, fake dating, unrequited love

Non-idol!Beomgyu x fem!Reader (x Non-idol!Taehyun)

Click here for Part 2!

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Why him? Why did you fall for him out of everyone. You didn't understand, you couldn't understand.

“What’s your name?” You looked up at him, eyes meeting his. His eyes showed kindness, as he looked down at you with a smile.

You looked down at his hand that reached out to you, noticing him opting you to shake it. Once again you looked up at him, this time with a smile, placing your hand in his and giving it a firm shake.

“My name is Y/N” he tilted his head at that, letting go of your hand. But the smile was still evident. “And your name?” You asked him,

“My name is Beomgyu, nice to meet you.” He softened his expression even more.

Beomgyu was the first person to be called your friend. He was interested in getting to know the new student, hence starting a friendship. You were happy that he asked for your name, happy that you could befriend such a sweet person. And Beomgyu was happy too, you really did make a great friendship. He was always sweet, funny and you found comfort in his charming personality. He never failed to make you laugh, neither did he fail to make you blush. You had tried neglecting the growing feeling in your stomach, that whenever he touched you, got close enough or said something remotely romantic, your heart started to flutter. But day by day, you realized that feelings had erupted for him. You had fallen for him.

He would unknowingly make your heart quicken. His hand softly brushing against your cheek, while lending out his scarf or jacket. His hand lightly bumping onto yours as you were walking home from school, which ended in him reaching his hand out for you. And whenever he visited you, he would kindly help your studying or cuddle next to you on your sofa.

You had taken the gesture as acts of love, who could blame you?

Only did you realize it was one sided when he came up to you, bright smile and panting a bit. Saying words you never wanted to hear.

“I’ve finally asked Ryujin out! We’re going to the get ice-cream next Saturday!” He looked at you with the brightest smile, happily telling you the ‘good’ news he had been holding onto for the entire weekend. You could feel your smile drop at mere seconds before bringing it back up. This time, forced.

“I’m really happy for you Beomgyu.” You didn’t really know what else to say. you were happy for him, sure. But at the same time, you could feel your heart crumble piece by piece as the realization hit you. He never loved you back, never even glanced a second thought about loving you. You’ve been so naive, so blind.

Before you could engage more into the conversation, Beomgyu excused himself. Mentioning something about greeting Ryuijun, which further broke you. And before you could even say a “see you later” he was off. In a way, you were thankful for not having to further talk to him, listening to him talk about his new lover would be too much to handle. And even though you could play it of cool, you knew the facade wouldn’t hold forever.

Eventually class begun and you tried to focus on the professor before you, but your mind kept slipping away. Thinking about Beomgyu. You had caught yourself thinking about him before, but today was different. In the end, you couldn’t hold yourself. Feeling tears peck at the corner of your eyes, the last thing you wanted was to cry. So you tried holding back your tears at best,

“Don’t cry over Beomgyu, you deserve better.”

Your eyes widened at that remark. The sentence was quiet, as if only you could hear it. And while you tried to subtly look for the culprit of those words, everyone was listening intently as to what the professor had to say. Eventually you gave up, figuring that it was your mind playing tricks. You knew your mind was at a hazy state. overthinking was bound to happen at situations like these. And even though you kept that in mind, you couldn’t help but feel eyes on you. This time, you knew that the feeling was real.

Turning slowly to look at your left, you saw a boy subtly staring at you with a bored expression before turning towards the professor, looking uninterested with his head resting in his hand. You remembered his face, trying to process what his name was.

Taehyun, Right? Whatever, he was just looking your way and you just happened to be so emotionally distressed that you felt eyed upon. Time to focus on the professor, don’t think about Beomgyu.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

As soon as you entered your home, you let out a loud sigh. The feeling of crying was no longer evident, but the big lump in your stomach, along with the drowning feeling of sadness was growing.

And as you tried your best to focus on something else, you couldn’t help but crumble in your bed, letting your eyes fill with sorrow as you thought about Beomgyu and Ryujin. Tears were now streaming down your blushed cheeks as you tried holding back your sobs, but eventually you couldn’t hold it back any longer. You cried for a long time, and in the end, dizziness and exhaustion caused you to fall asleep.

**Incoming call...**

The loud sound erupting from your phone woke you in a beat. In daze, you reached for your phone and answered without checking the ID.

“Hello?” Your voice was groggy.

“Hey Y/N, Sorry did I wake you up or something?” You recognized that voice, quickly you scanned over the caller ID and did a mental face palm at yourself for not checking thoroughly.

“Yeah, I ended up falling asleep as soon as I came home..” you chuckled a bit, trying to sound like your normal self. You hoped that your grogginess in your voice could hide the fact that you’d been crying.

“Sorry for waking you up, hehe. I just wondered why you didn’t wait for me to walk you home..?” He sounded a bit worried, and you felt guilty for making him feel that way. Ironic.

“Oh, sorry Beomgyu.. I didn’t want to bother you and Ryujin so I figured I’d walk home earlier.” was that really a good answer, it was the truth, but did he really need to know it?

“That’s okay. But don’t worry too much about that, I still want to walk home with you, okay?” You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t want to be rude and a small part of you were happy that Beomgyu still wanted to walk with you. But you knew that further engaging with him would lead to heartbreak. More or less, you dismissed your sinking feeling, you couldn’t say no to Beomgyu.

“Sure..” you smiled through the phone as there was a few moments of silence, you could hear Beomgyu shuffle a bit through the phone before letting out a sigh.

“Okay, good. Just wanted to make sure, I have to go now but can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah sure, bye Beomgyu.”

“Bye Y/N.”

A heavy sigh escapes your lips, the smile dropping at an instant. You hated this, this feeling of having to fake an facade towards him, while being at the brink of crying every second. You hated the sinking feeling in your chest whenever the thought of Beomgyu came. Beomgyu used to make you happy, make you feel butterflies. But the happiness you once felt was shot down so quickly, you didn’t know how to recover.

Trying to ease of your mind once and for all, you buried yourself in the world of television. Even though you knew watching reality shows could be frustrating, you still found them entertaining enough to engage in. The rain was pouring outside, with occasional thundering sounds loudly filling the room. You on the other hand, were to invested on the TV to even glance a second at the outside storm. Just as a commercial break erupted, a few knocks could be heard from your front door, Making you jump at your spot. Surely this was the last thing you expected to hear a thundering evening like this. Your chest tightened as you looked at the wooden door before quickly glancing at the clock hung over the TV.

07:23 PM, neither to late nor to early for visitors. Questioning who could be at the door was unnecessary since you knew Beomgyu was out of the question. And thus you were stuck on whether you should open to door or not. A soft knock could be heard once again. You let out a sigh trying to ignore the person at the door. But the curiosity got the better of you.

Slowly you made your way to the door, turning the cold handle, feeling a chill crawl your spine. As you opened it, you were faced with

“Taehyun?”

You never expected to come face-to-face with Kang Taehyun. Sure, he was a close friend to Beomgyu. But you never saw him as your close friends, If even friends at all. you’d only only had a few conversations which usually was led by Beomgyu. Never did you think Taehyun would stand before you.

He stood in the rain, holding an umbrella to his right and a plastic back to his left. His shoulders were wet from the rain, indicating that he was outside and a bit caught of guard when the rain started. His hair and beanie dripping small droplets onto the pavement.

“Uhm, what brings you here?” You had genuine confusion in your voice as you eyed him up and down. But you didn’t want to sound rude, he did make time to come here.

“I just wanted to come by, I’ve brought snacks.” He answered monotonous, not seeming to be bothered by the growing tension between you. Sure, you knew he could be bold at times. But this was uncalled for. Further confusion grew on you.

“Okay..? thanks..” you scooted yourself to the side and widened the door, signaling for him to come in. Quickly, he closed his umbrella, shaking the water off it before stepping in.

It was quiet, very awkward as you closed the door behind him. The air felt electric, you wanted to say something but nothing came up. eventually, Taehyun spoke up again,

“I saw what happened this morning, with Beomgyu.. it was really sad to watch.” He kept that monotone voice as he said those words. how could he say something like that, while acting so confident?

you felt shocked at his statement. He came all the way here to tell you that? You almost felt a bit offended.

“Okay? So you’ve just come here to make fun of me?” You scoffed at his blunt remark, crossing your arms at his confidence.

“Actually, I’ve come to offer a deal.”

“A deal?” You looked at him with visible confusion as you shifted the weight on your stance.

“I know you like Beomgyu, it’s pretty obvious,” obvious? Maybe for an outsider but, did Beomgyu also think it was obvious? You kept listening as to what he had to say.

“And I also know how hurt you were, by him I mean. I saw you trying to hold back your tears in the classroom. And since you deserve better, I wondered if you wanted to be my girlfriend.”

That was uncalled for, you didn’t even know how to react to a sentence like that. Be his girlfriend? Why? Was he actually serious right now? This almost felt unreal.

“W- what?” Was all you could muster out, still being in utter shock at his previous statement.

“I want you to be my girlfriend, I’ll treat you right.” He answered. An answer that was so dislocated from everything. How could he say something like that so easily? Trying to calm yourself down, you questioned him

“What is the point? You don’t really like me and It wouldn’t benefit you? More or less, I’m not really the type of person you would date. I don’t really understand.”

“I’ll keep it simple, you’re pretty interesting and I’m bored. You’ll just have to be my girlfriend, and I’ll give you as much attention as you want. That’s it.”

It was a rather simple request, Taehyun knew what you wanted, was he really that observant? Did he see how lonely you were? Sure, if anyone looked close enough they would notice, but how close of an eye has Taehyun been keeping on you? his reasoning for wanting you was that he was bored? Taehyun wasn’t the type to play with a girls feelings, that much you knew. But couldn’t he find enjoyment somewhere else? He wasn’t directly unpopular nor a loner. You knew many people that fawned over the infamous Kang Taehyun, amazing at sports, singing, having good looks and being very smart. Why would he engage in something like this, when he could be in a real relationship. you didn’t understand.

Even though you were confused as ever, you couldn’t help but thinking about accepting his offer. Sure, it wouldn’t fill the void completely, but it could be a good distraction. As he said, he was willing to give you all the attention you needed. You gulped, heaving a sad sigh before speaking up,

“Sure.. I accept the offer.. but keep in mind that I’ve never dated anyone so..” you trailed off, not knowing how to further the sentence.

“Just be yourself. I know how to treat a girl, unlike some people..” with that he gave you a nod before setting down the plastic bag with the presumed ‘snacks’. You noticed how the storm had now calmed down, as if it was almost on qué.

“I’ll be heading off, I’ll see you tomorrow if that’s okay..?” You kept quiet, watching his every move. As he made his way to the metal door handle and turned it, before exiting he looked back at you.

You thought for a moment before nodding.

“Okay..”

Giving him small smile.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Night flew by quickly, along with morning, and suddenly 12 PM hit you as you made your way towards the living room. Beomgyu had called you earlier, as promised. And even though you wanted to ignore him, you couldn’t help yourself but to answer. The conversation was short, just him asking you about your morning and what you’re going to do the following hours. Of course you didn’t tell him about Taehyun, instead you said that you’d chill at home. He believed you.

Familiar knocking was heard at the door around 3 PM, and this time, you were prepared for his arrival. Before his arrival you had just spent the day wrapped around a blanket, watching movies as the rain kept pouring at an alarming rate outside. Wishing that the main characters on TV was you, having a happy ending. But now you could finally occupy your loneliness, even though your company was rather unusual.

You made your way to the door once again, checking through the curtains just to make sure ,

“Taehyun..” you were right, as expected. Slowly you opened the door for him, letting him in instantly. He once again shook his umbrella before closing the door behind him.

You watched him with big eyes as he hung his umbrella by a lonely hook, along with his dark rain coat and beanie. You figured he wanted to come more prepared against the wetness than yesterday when his head was drenched. Not much words were spoken, just a weirdly comfortable silence that bestowed between you. As he slowly looked around your house, looking at pictures of you and your family. You figured you had to break the silence,

“Nice blanket..” he spoke up before you, you didn’t even notice that you still had a blanked wrapped around your shoulders, more or less, a Hello kitty one you’ve had since you were young. He smirked to himself as he said those words,

“Oh... thanks hehe..” you were embarrassed to say the least, quickly shaking if the blanket and placing it on the sofa. Quickly you try to redirect the attention.

“Do you want to sit down?” You asked, a bit of nervousness was evident in your voice. Taehyun gave you small nod before walking over to the couch, taking a seating.

You watched him as he looked around once again, stopping at the TV in front of him.

Quietly you sat next to him, keeping a fair distance. You were still nervous and awkward about the whole ordeal. Taehyun on the other hand seemed like the opposite, more confident and laid back. You tried focusing on the movie in front of you, but you could feel deep dark eyes staring at you. Watching your every move as if you’re the most fascinating thing on earth. It made you uneasy. You couldn’t help but compare him to Beomgyu. How could you still be so fixated on him, comparing Taehyuns every move to Beomgyus. You tried shaking that feeling off, you did all this to forget about Beomgyu, remember? So the last thing you want is to always think about him.

Before your internal fight could become an internal war, you felt a warm hand brush against yours. And before you knew it, Taehyuns hand had slowly held a firm grip on yours. You didn’t dare to look over at Taehyun. He knew what he was doing, and still, the way he held your hand so delicate, like it was made out of precious glass about to break any second. He was gentle, and you couldn’t help but to crave more of his warmth. You even questioned how he could feel so warm when he was just outside in the freezing rain. You felt him shift a little bit closer to you, his arm lightly touching yours. Watching from the corner of your eyes, as you saw him grabbing that mentioned blanked from before, softly draping it over the two of you, before he slowly pulled you down, allowing you to rest on his shoulder.

Your heart was beating fast, as if it would explode at any second. You felt Taehyun shift further, now leaning towards you, gently leaning his head onto yours as he kept watching the movie. You didn’t know how you’d allow this, but you enjoyed his warmth. His softness. He was gentle with you, occasionally stroking your hand lightly with his thumb. And in a weird way, he made you feel comfortable. Eventually you started leaning more firmly into his touch, cuddling him further.

It was something you had been dreaming about for so long, having someone you could call “lover”. And for the first time in a long time, you forgot about all your worries, forgot about the pain that you’d once felt towards the one you held dearly. Taehyuns touch was enough to make you melt. Your thoughts were in haven, before a bickering started to occur. Unintentionally, beomgyu entered your mind once again. Thinking about him and Ryujin, in this exact position, would Beomgyu also hold Ryujin like this, letting her rest her head on the nape of his neck, occasionally give him kisses.

Taehyun seemed to noticed your shift in behavour, figuring what had occupied your mind.

Slowly, he leaned closer on your head, whispering that everything would be okay. The sweet affirmations surprisingly gave you a reassurance. Slowly you could feel your eyes falter, taking in his sweet scent, and warmth, you could feel yourself drift to sleep in Taehyuns touch.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

A/N:

Hello! My name is Em hehe! And yeah this is my first post. I hope you liked it and I’m sorry if there was anything grammatically incorrect.

I actually took a lot of inspiration from a SP fanfic I read 2 years ago when writing this story. But I really enjoyed writing this a lot (although it’s a bit hastily written since I wrote it over night, sleep is for the weak)

Thank you for reading ! (Also sorry for being so awkward I’m new to this hehe)

This work belongs to @Beomeli on tumblr. Please do not trace or copy my work ©