#IC: Chibodee

[passionsafire]

Wandering on an open, ruined road, a lone figure slowly comes to stand before the entrance to a lonely, dilapidated district on the outskirts of Tokyo, Japan.

The figure scans the old town for signs of life, eyes panning from one half-toppled building to another. At a glance, the place could easily be mistaken for a ghost town, but to its credit: a shining array of neon pink light reveals itself in the distance as the sun begins to set on the horizon.

There's a sharp whistle, and a gruff, boisterous voice speaks aloud, "....Well, would you look at that? Bet they're serving drinks, too! Wouldn't that be a treat after all this walking? Hahaha!" Rubbing his nose, the figure, a sturdy-looking young man clad in a tasseled denim jacket walks forward into the red-orange light of dusk, toward what he could only presume (with a little bit of hope mixed in) was the loneliest little bar this side of the prefecture.

"...Perfect little place to find a match, eh?"

It seems his instincts weren't wrong: this little concrete slab is a bar. Built out of some old office, from the looks of it.

Necessity breeds invention, huh? With a grin on his lips, he walks in through the cracked glass door and right into the atmosphere of an absolute dive. Broken tables, a few drunks slumped over in their seats, the tangy scent of sour booze in the air... reminds him of home!

Pulling up a stool, the man rasps the bar a few time with his knuckles. "YO, bartender! Get me a whisky, would ya? On the rocks." The man in question, an meek-looking old fellow idly cleaning his glasses (the seeing kind, not the drinking kind) didn't seem particularly unsavory in the least... shame, that--the best part of these "edge of the world" type places is the danger they're usually associated with. Outside of one or two sleazy-looking drifters in one corner and some hooded gent at the end of the bar, it didn't seem all that dangerous at all.

After his drink is slid into his hands by the kindly tender, the man gets to probing him about... 'suspicious activity' he might've seen around these parts of late. There's a quiver in his lips as the man asks his questions, a glint of reluctance in his eye, but the stranger's strong, reassuring smile seems to be enough to convince him to relent.

"Well... there usually isn't much to tell; don't get that much activity around here most days. Until the Vultures came, that is."

That catches his attention. Raising a brow, the man asks, "Vultures? Like the bird, or...?"

He receives a breathy chortle in response. "Not a bird, no! The mercenary types. Nasty people, all of them. A group of them came into town last week demanding a 'tribute' of all things! Said they'd sic their gundam at us if we didn't comply."

"A Gundam?" The man asks, his brow furrowing intensely. "Did I hear that right? These guys have a Gundam...?"

"Well... yes. Looked like one, at least. We weren't too keen on finding out, though, we just paid their fee and steered clear of them 'til they left," says the old man sheepishly. "...That's part of the reason we aren't so busy tonight. People were getting so worried that they'd show up again, that all but a few of us picked up stakes and left. I don't really have anywhere else to go, y'see... this bar here's my lifeline. I couldn't just up and leave it, so... here I am."

The man nods attentively, hanging on every word. "These Vultures," he says, "You know where they came from? Where they went?"

"Oh, no," the other responds with a shrug. "I didn't pay much attention to that. Just kept my head low... I mean, it's not like they'd come back, right? We didn't have much to give 'em at the end of the day. I'm sure they've probably moved on to putting some other poor saps through the ringer by now. Nothing you should worry about!"

Almost as if on cue, a deep, thunderous boom from outside shakes the bar to its foundation. Immediately, the bartender tenses, fear glossing over his eyes like a deer in headlights. The rest of the patrons leap from their seats one by one as the booms repeat, again and again, louder and closer each time. Then, a voice echoes through the walls, loud enough to pierce everyone's eardrums.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP, GUTTER PIGS! YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR! LINE UP, IT'S TIME FOR INSPECTION!"

There's a clattering of glass as the old timer falls back into the rack of bottles behind him after teetering over in shock. "I...It's them! They're back! N-no...! I-I thought we were safe...!"

". . ." In a single draught, the young man in denim swallows down his drink and slowly gets to his feet. From his pocket, he tosses a few coins onto the counter as a smile slowly encroaches on his face. "Don't spend it all in one place, gramps," he says, turning around to walk out the door, leaving the befuddled bar owner and his panicking customers inside.

What awaited him outdoors was certainly a sight to behold: an enormous hovercraft the size of a battleship glides into town with a posse of patched-together mobile suits, numbered in the dozens, surrounding a single, shining suit above all the rest. Colored white, red, and a deep, dark blue. Standing on a platform at the base of its knee was a slovenly dressed man with a crumby beard and a belly like a steel drum. His cratering voice sounds over a loudspeaker, calling rest of the townspeople out from their homes.

"COME ON, COME ON, GET THE LEAD OUT! DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS!"

"Sheesh," the man says, rubbing a hand over one of his ears. "Talk about a loud mouth... so, that's the Gundam I've been hearing about, eh? And he's what, the pilot? Or the hype man?" He tuts, strutting forward without a care in the world until his path crosses with the Vulture's vehicle. He comes to a halt, staring it down at it shines its giant, beaming searchlights on him.

"WHAT THE...?" the Vulture's leader booms, his ship coming to a stop just short of the man in its path, its all-encompassing shadow looming over him like a ravenous beast. "HEY, COWBOY! YOU GOT A DEATH WISH, OR ARE YOU JUST BRAIN DEAD? CLEAR OUT OF THE WAY!"

"Hey now, that's no way to talk to a champ, now is it!?" The stranger utters a loud, boisterous laugh. "I came a long way looking for you, pal, and I'm not leaving empty handed!" Placing two fingers in the corners of his mouth, he lets rip a loud, beckoning whistle. Immediately, a loud crash echoes from behind a wall of buildings, causing the ground beneath their feet to shift and groan.

The Vultures and their vessel struggle to keep still, and their leader nearly falls from his stand, having to catch himself on his Gundam's chassis. "WHAT WAS THAT," he cries, his once authoritative voice cracking as he tenses up with nerves. Just then, a giant shadow crests the top of a nearby row of houses, trailing smoke as it comes to land by the bow of the Vulture ship. Red, white, and shining blue: a Gundam clad in thick metal pads and sporting two massive slabs of iron--a giant magnum on each hip. The titanic robot lifts itself from one knee, the Vultures watching with gaping jaws as Gundam Maxter stands tall before them.

"No way..." one of their MS sputters. "A-ain't that one of them Championship Gundams?"

"What the hell's a Gundam Fighter doing here?!" Another says, his high, quibbling pitch betraying the once fearsome atmosphere their crew had worked so hard to set.

"WHAT ELSE?" Says Chibodee Crocket, his Gundam Maxter putting fist to palm with a mighty CRACK!

"I'm looking for a GUNDAM FIGHT!"

A tense silence falls over the scene. A crowd of curious onlookers watch in baited breath as the Vulture suits, unsure of what to do, look back to their leader for guidance. The man in question barely has time to compose himself. He manages to stumble out a hurried, "W-WELL, WHAT'RE YOU WAITING FOR?! GET HIM!"

The enemy mobile suits hesitate for a moment, but quickly relent, and charge forward toward their enemy. It's only one Mobile Suit, after all, right? Gundam Fighter or no, they've got the numbers to put him down...!

...Or so they would have hoped. The first MS to charge barely has time to raise its weapon as a gloved metal fist caves in its head faster than its pilot can even blink. The next three combatants form a line, laying down a hail of mobile weapon fire.

With a grin on his lips, Chibodee's feet dance back and forth as the boxing champion ducks and weaves through the stream of munitions. Whatever he can't dodge barely leaves a scratch as they skim off his mobile suit's armor.

"CYCLONE PUNCH!" Chibodee shouts as he closes the distance, shooting his fist in a swift, upward cut toward the line of foes, sending all three of them soaring into the sky at once with a torrent of wind. A tornadic wail falls over the battlefield as the skyward units crash back down, kicking up spiraling clouds of dust and debris that quickly flood the air with patches of a thick, blinding fog of war.

The citizens in town rush for their homes, under cars, whatever they can find for cover. Except for the lone, hooded boy from the bar, who doesn't seem to flinch even as another two Vulture suits collect holes from Chibodee's fists. He barely watches the carnage unfold, instead focusing on the solitary Gundam that remains motionless as it sits on the Vulture ship.

A piece of MS scrap crashes against the side of the vessel and bonces to the ground, kicking up another dust cloud. The remaining Vulture suits lift off, aiming to surround and overpower Gundam Maxter. And in that moment, the boy grins.

"Now's my chance...!"

At the top of the Vulture ship, the mercenary-bandits' leader can be found picking himself off of his knees, trying and failing to brush the dirt from his jacket. "Damnit... what do these idiots think they're doing?" He says, his voice having lost its boom since the last ground quake from the battle made him drop his microphone off his platform. "If they keep screwin' up like this, we're gonna have to cut our losses...! I don't like it, but it's not like we've got much choice," he says with a groan. He turns back toward the inert Gundam behind him, clenching a fist in frustration. "If only this damn thing would just move! Can't even get it to start up, and even if we did, wouldn't be much use... what kind of pathetic excuse for a Gundam doesn't even have a control stick?!"

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots movement, breaking him out of his rant. he looks down, only to find the hatch to the Gundam's cockpit wide open, with a young boy in a hooded cloak already squeezed half-way inside. The two are absolutely slient, motionless as they stare each other down. The Vulture is shocked, to say the least--who was this boy? Where did he come from? And just what did he think was he doing with his Gundam?! Before he can utter any of these questions, though, the boy rips off his cloak and throws it into the boss' face in one pull. The man hurriedly pries it off, but by the time he does, the hatch is already closed, presumably with the boy inside.

"H-HEY! Get outta there, you brat! What's the big idea here, that's MINE!" He yells, banging and clawing at the Gundam's chest in an attempt to pull it open again, to no avail. "I found it! You don't get to put your grubby hands all over it, EVEN if it doesn't wo-"

A loud whirring noise begins to sound as the air immediately surrounding the idle Gundam turns warm. Then, it starts to stand up.

"WHA--?!" Is all that can escape the leader's mouth before he is forcibly thrown off his own vehicle as the platform below him buckles and falls apart under the stress of the Gundam's rising frame.

"Alright!" The Gundam-thief pumps his fist in the air. Mission success! Finally, he stole his Gundam back! And not a moment too soon... the other Vulture-goons that had previously lifted off to attack Chibodee were now altering course to turn back his way, likely to see what the deal was with their rogue Gundam.

"Sorry, but there's no chance you're taking this back!" the boy says, lifting the Gundam's buster rifle up and firing on the closest suit to him, punching a hole in its side and sending it crashing to the ground.

"That's one," he says, before turning his rifle to fire on another two enemy mobile suits. One's arm is immediately fried to bits by the beam, making it drops its rifle, which inadvertently misfires into its own leg. The next gets a finely-seared hole blasted through the center of its head, turning both of its main cameras, and the head itself for that matter, to molten steel.

"Two, three! Haha, I'm on a roll! I wish Tiffa could've seen that...!" Excitement swells in the boy's voice, his pride at his own feat of profound luck soured only by the absence of anyone to share it with.

Just then, a screen on his monitor flickers to life--it seemed like someone was calling him. Did the captain pick up his signal already...? No, this was too close to be the Freeden... so this had to be...

"HEY, HEY! What's the big idea, stealing the spotlight like that? That Gundam you're in owes me a fight!" Chibodee Crocket says, chiming in over the boy's comms.

"Huh...?! I dunno what kind of screw you've got loose, old man, but I don't have time for it!" He yells in response. "I'm taking the Double X back whether you like it or not!"

"Double X...?"

Not sparing another second, Garrod Ran lifts off in his freshly reclaimed Gundam Double X, only to have his ascent interrupted by a volley of ground fire from the remaining vultures.

"Tch...!" Damn it, he got too hasty! Garrod braces as the Double X comes crashing back down, its wings clipped by the enemy barrage. As the enemy closes in, he lays down suppressive fire with his suit's head-mounted vulcan guns. Undeterred, one beam-axe wielding suit charges the toppled Gundam head-on. Garrod tries to reach for his beam sword, only to find the armament absent! "Wha...?! Damn these bastards, did they sell it?!" Having little other choice, Garrod ducks out of the way at the last second, the enemy combatant's axe just barely missing its target, instead shaving an inch of the Gundam's crown.

Garrod backs up, letting loose another burst of his vulcans. To his shock, however, the enemy suit just keeps coming! "Are you crazy...?! Back off!" Despite his suit being riddled with bullets, the pilot still manages to lift its axe, and sends it zooming down in an arc towards the Double X's cockpit...!

No...! Not yet, I still need to get back to Tiffa! Not now, not because of some stupid mistake....! A wave of desperate, fearful thoughts crash through the boy's mind as he unloads everything his vulcans have at the suit, but the axe just keeps coming! Time seems to slow to a crawl as it inches toward him, right toward Garrod's face, when--BAM!

The axe, and the enemy suit, gets thrown to the side by another massive figure: Maxter Gundam has come to the rescue!

"Y-You...?!" Garrod sputters, his fear of impending doom giving way to a feeling of relief mixed with cautious suspicion.

"What's with the surprise...? I couldn't call myself a man if I didn't help a kid in danger, now could I?" Chibodee says with a proud hoot. Garrod scowls at him at first, but then a softness falls over him as the man's suit reaches a hand down to help him up. Any trace of self-aggrandizing is gone from his voice, replaced with a warm, careful tone. "You alright...?" He asks as he helps the boy's Gundam to its feet.

"...I've had worse, I guess." Garrod says, still a bit cautious.

"Good! 'Cause we aren't done yet."

"What?!" The boy sputters as another hail of bullets lands at their feet. The two then quickly duck into cover, using the ruined buildings to block incoming fire.

"Seems like they aren't taking too kindly to you takin' their pride and joy like that!" Chibodee says with a tension-easing smile on his face.

"It wasn't even theirs in the first place... like I told you, I'm taking this back, remember?" Garrod says.

"OH! So that's how it is, huh? Well, that explains it. Was wondering why they were hauling around a Gundam like that if they didn't have the smarts to use it...!" Returns Chibodee, who turns to retaliate as the enemy reloads, sending a blast of energy from Maxter's fist to blast a hole in their foes' own cover, that being their own ship.

"Well, the way I see it..." He says, ducking back down as the enemy ship returns fire with a barrage of missiles. "The only way you're gonna be taking that suit back to your friends is in pieces... if we don't get rid of these posers first!"

Garrod winces at the explosions that have now peppered their cover with too many holes to be useful for much longer. "Damn... hate to admit it, but you're right, old timer...!"

In a single, synchronized beat, both suits emerge from their cover and dash into the battlefield between them and their enemies. If the only way out is forward, then they've got no choice but to charge right through them!

"ALRIGHT! That's the spirit, kiddo! But it's time you learned a little lesson from a vet!" Chibodee lets out a roar as he slams his fist into the side of the enemy land ship, sending it crashing into the buildings and mobile suits behind it. As its turrets re-align to target the two Gundams, both pilots strike a defensive stance in the middle of the fray, back to back...!

"Lesson 1: always keep your guard up, even when you're on the attack! And while you're learning that, memorize this one, too: quit calling me old, damnit!"

"Whatever you say...!" Garrod says, readying his buster rifle and blasting three holes through the side of the ship in rapid succession. As the two unlikely partners charge again at the now-smoldering vessel, Garrod grits his teeth and utters a promise under his breath, "Wait for me, Tiffa...! I'll be back at your side before you know it!"

[amplexadversary]

Okay I've gleefully derailed posts before but this is a big derail and kind of dumb so I'm linking it.

When I watch the linked video, I end up thinking of Allenby gossiping about the shuffles, and now I need to headcanon who would likely say what bullshit.

-"I'm going to shit your pants." -> I could see this coming from a few people. Sai is a little fucker, he would make this threat and mean it. Chibodee would say it facetiously. Domon (while I headcanon him to be pretty good with languages) probably isn't above a gaffe where he means to say "I'm going to make you shit your pants," but misspeaks (probably when the guys are getting really rowdy and distracting and everybody's talking over each other.)

-"A duck the size of a tiger would have to be quite stout, I don't know that I could vanquish such a foe." -> George, though he'd choose different words than the video.

-"I'm all wet because Allenby dropped her phone in the river and I jumped in to get it. I can't find it though, can somebody call it while my head is underwater?" -> Domon would do this reflexively. Chibodee probably would as well.

-"I think it's time I come clean, I don't actually understand how wind works." -> Sai would be the funniest person to admit this, with his wind-based super move.

-"toodaloo, kangaroos" -> Domon, because someone told him it's a thing people say in English and he's kind of gullible.

-"Why the hell do we all have identical jackets? I can never find mine. Oh, but it's probably the one with my name on it though." -> while Domon or Chibodee would probably be the most likely to have this kind of brain fart, I think it's funnier if a very tired George says this (... ignore they fact that they don't have matching anything).

-On Monday Sai dared me to eat a spider, so I did. But then later that day I was running up the hill and shit my pants a little. I think those two things were related. -> I'd believe this from three of them in different contexts. Chibodee impulsively agreed to the challenge and admits this because hes mad about it. Argo ate the spider to humor Sai and is trying to discourage the rest of the group from making a similar mistake. Domon ate the spider because Kyoji didnt not have nearly enough chances to teach Domon to be weary of this exact kind of siblingeque horseshit, and we know from how he responds to Master Asia that Domon will just do things that you tell him to. He admits it, begrudgingly, because everybody wants to know why he bailed on them for several hours.

-"Do you guys think my shirt is cute? Too bad, I'm taking it off." "You're cute that way too." -> I could see George and Chibodee, in any order. Chibodee and Domon would only be believable if they're together, and with a massive time skip for them to get comfortable over.

-"My idol is that one dude who ate an entire airplane, love that guy, don't know his name." -> Argo, sarcastically, when Chibodee makes some remark about his physique and asks "what do you eat, sheet metal?"

-"Guys I think I watched the wrong Zootopia." -> Argo probably doesn't only pirate physical goods in the space age. He got a joke translation.

-"Domon, what type of feed does Fuunsaiki like, we want to make him a cake for his birthday." -> I feel like this is George and Argo's planning, and I could see either of them being the one to ask.

-[musing about Ice Age squirrel heteronormativity] -> I think Chibodee's the only one who could reasonably have seen it. He also dyes his hair two colors of the bisexual flag and wears the third so I can see him being annoyed by it.

-"I failed to locate a bear suit, does anybody have a spare bear suit?" -> Tbh this one could be any of them, except George, who is listening with his head in his hands.

-[quoting the infamous Snapcube Eggman rant] -> This is either Sai Saici, or Argo lost a bet to Sai Saici and was told to recite this. Sai is the only one of them I can buy being chronically online enough to reference this. Chibodee looks up Shadow and immediately asks Domon if it's his fursona, which backfires because the only other person in the room who knows what a furry is is Sai.

-"Why aren't you being silly? You promised you would be silly with me." -> ARGO. Said with a straight face to George. (Sai would be too low-hanging-fruit here, but I guarantee he's also looking at George expectantly. Admittedly, part of why I can see this coming from Argo is because of choices the dub made with how he speaks.)

-"Rain sent me this picture. I thought she was telling me that she was pregnant, but this is a covid test. She does have covid." -> Domon. Also worded a little differently than the original. While he did spend half his childhood in a jungle with Master Asia, he's probably seen pregnancy tests in drug stores when they have to make very occasional supply runs. Sai has probably also showed everyone the meme where people would edit a pregnancy test into various pictures.

[thedragonchilde]

Ship meme spam, with two ships this time

Jokers Wild

The umbrella, when it rains - Logistically, this would have to be Argo

The popcorn at the cinema - Oh please, like they're shelling out for overpriced concessions

The baby, when it cries - I think mostly Nastasha, at first anyway; Argo is nervous holding someone so small and fragile. That’s not to say he wouldn’t help calm Yuliya, just that he’d be cautious about holding her for a while

The ice cream cone, when they share - I’m not sure they’d share a cone? A sundae, maybe

The remote, when they sit down to watch a movie - Probably Nastasha. Is it because Argo’s more laid-back about what they watch? It is because Nastasha just has an easier time with the buttons? Who knows

The basket, when they go shopping - Nastasha, so Argo is free to reach the high shelves

The door, on dates - You know Argo would, and you know Nastasha would insist he didn’t have to

The other’s hand, most often - Maybe Argo, technically? Though I think Nastasha puts her hand over his fairly often

Their breath, upon seeing the other on their wedding day - Absolutely Argo, and I promise you this wouldn’t even be the first time he’s found her literally breathtaking

The camera, when they take pictures together - A tripod? I don’t think they’re selfie people

Royal Flush

The umbrella, when it rains - Would either of them remember to carry one? (Now I’m picturing Domon just sprinting through the rain holding his cape over his head.) Assuming they did, it would probably be Chibodee, and I think Domon would actually be a little fidgety at first, because sharing an umbrella is a Very Romantic Symbol in Japan

The popcorn at the cinema - Oh please, they’d have to keep it between them! If Domon kept it, he’d eat it all himself, and if Chibodee kept it, he’d probably use it as a come-on

The baby, when it cries - They switch, and they both struggle in the beginning, oh man. Domon has better luck as he hits his stride though, especially after the first year. (I’m definitely picturing, though, the first time Chibodee pulls out the lullaby - and eventually falls asleep there himself, either leaning over the side of the crib, or slumped back in a chair with Apollo on his chest)

The ice cream cone, when they share - It’s not so much intending to share, so much as Chibodee snatching the cone out of Domon’s hand, licking around the rim to stop the dripping, and handing it back

The remote, when they sit down to watch a movie - ...okay, I’m sorry, I have this visual of them watching Rocky, and when Apollo Creed is introduced, Domon takes a few moments, pauses the movie, and slowwwwly turns to Chibodee, squinting loudly

The basket, when they go shopping - Chibodee, to keep him busy so he doesn't impulse-shop

The door, on dates - That's not really something they go out of their way for? Though the visual of them racing for it is pretty good

The other’s hand, most often - Both of them!! Full grab, interlaced fingers, stroking knuckles, whatever, hands are a Thing for them

Their breath, upon seeing the other on their wedding day - Oh, this is a moment of mutual stunned silence

The camera, when they take pictures together - A third party, probably candid. Domon isn’t very comfortable posing for pictures