#I've started so many things at once it's kind of overwhelming

[wynsummers]

felt like combining two of my biggest interests so this is my ranking of buffy characters by how much they would enjoy the rocky horror picture show

honorable mention - anya. i can't decide if anya would love or hate rocky. the more chaos-loving anyanka side of her would have a lot of fun with it, but i think she might also hate the idea of going to see a movie only to have it talked over by a bunch of hecklers. especially if she went to a theater where they throw/spray props. so i guess it would depend on whether she went to a showing for the experience or the film itself.

9. angel would walk in, sit in the back row, stare with an intense face at the screen for the entire hour and forty minutes of the film and then stand up and leave without saying a word. he would never come back.

8. xander - xander would enjoy rocky for all of the wrong reasons. he is the cishet man who only goes to see the lingerie-clad women. i've met so many xanders in my time. they always have that smug laugh when someone tries to interact with them, but they're too cool to do anything that they can't use to (attempt to) impress a woman

7. cordelia - i don't think rocky is really cordy's scene, no disrespect intended. i think she could have a good time but some of the more extreme traditions might put her off (especially if someone threw/sprayed something at her, i think she would hate that). she would look at it as that fun thing she did once, probably because someone invited her. that being said, though, if she ended up in a shadowcast, she would put her entire heart and soul into playing janet.

6. oz - i can't explain it but oz is both too cool not to be at rocky and too cool to be at rocky. like, oz has been going to rocky every week for two years but the scoobies only find out when they go as a group and everyone in the theater knows him already. i don't think he's ever said a callback in his life but he definitely has a bunch of them memorized

5. buffy - ok now hear me out. buffy needs something like rocky in her life. she needs a place where she can unwind, yell loudly, dance around, and just have fun. i don't think she'd be super into it right away, but i don't think it would take long for her to get into the rhythm of it. i can't see her going so far as to be in a shadowcast, but i can totally see her being a frequent audience member who tells all of her friends about this awesome thing she found

4. tara - listen, tara is a lesbian witch in college. rocky was made for her. season 4 tara is too shy to participate, but i can see it being a place she returns to a lot, and season 6 tara is definitely in the front row of the theater every friday gleefully yelling at the screen. she might even dress up as janet or magenta (shoutout amber benson for performing toucha touch me)

3. willow - this may be controversial, since early seasons willow is kind of reserved and seems like she would be really overwhelmed by rocky. but often that's the exact kind of person who thrives in rocky the most because it gives them a chance to come out of their shell. at her first show, she probably wouldn't participate at all, but something would compel her to come back, and slowly but surely, she'd start doing more. cut to a few months later and she's going full vampire willow in a theater full of people. i think later seasons willow wouldn't have as difficult of a time at first but i still don't think she'd get into it right away. but once she got it, she'd be a regular for life

2. spike - i think spike has been going to the shows for a long time; it's definitely his scene. it wouldn't surprise me if he invented some of the callbacks. yelling stupid snarky shit at a movie screen is so him. i don't know if i can see him dressing up as a character though.

giles - obviously. fucking obviously. in his ripper days he was frank at his local theater and he still goes to the shows all the time. maybe on special occasions they bring him back as frank for a special show. it wouldn't surprise me if he saw the rocky horror show before it was a movie. if buffy and the scoobies found out about his double life they would faint. (if you haven't seen anthony head as frank, do yourself a favor and look it up)

[sleepy-otx]

sooooo 4.0 is out... we can swim.... there is a boat ride...

Is anyone gonna do a little mermaid zhongxiao au or am I gonna have to jot down inmy list of to be written????

[cherie-doll]

:3c hiii, if it's not a bother, could you write more headcanon's for the cod men as parents? I think I might have died from cuteness overload while reading that one.

ahh ofc!! i've been wanting to write more so this is perfect, thank you <333

𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: Them As Parents #3

ʚĭɞ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

Price

He adjusted to being a father a lot easier than he thought he would, somehow his kids are a lot easier to keep in line than the tf141

He's constantly announcing every little thing or accomplishment the kid has done, and he forces everyone to listen and they kinda have to because what else are they going to do? Say no? Wouldn't even think or dare to do that

He's just so happy to carry his chunky babies around, and loves it especially when you're feeding them, he smiles endearingly and you're like "what're you smiling for?" "I love seeing my babies growing"

Omg and imagine your babies having that same heartwarming smile he has, awwwww-

Ghost

He knew taking care of kids would be... something

But he sees how hard you work, how late you stay up trying to get the whiny baby to sleep, but he just won't stop fussing and moving and you don't want to wake Simon because he's supposed to be resting from just having come back

But he hears your tired sighs and pleading to the baby to please sleep, so he comes up behind you and gently takes the baby while telling you to go rest, that you need it

And hearing his low, smoky voice gives you such relief you almost cry because you've been sleep deprived

Soap

He taught the boys to show respect and love to you all the time, it's almost overwhelming!

Once a neighbor encountered this scene where Johnny had just gotten back from picking up the kids from school and he ran out the car yelling "Whoever gets to mom first gets to kiss and hug her!"

All three of them practically bolted inside the house and tackled you

And even if they play roughly, getting muddy and dirty they make sure to rinse off with the hose and wait before entering to dry off, they wouldn't want to ruin the effort you do to keep the house spotless, and guests who come over are always surprised at how you manage to keep the place so clean when there's two- well technically three boys with Johnny who hasn't lost his playfulness

Gaz

Can't help but imagine how Kyle would be like with his teen daughter

He loves her to death and would do anything for her, he's interested in whatever she's into and loves going along with her to go out and stuff

Especially if she's a little more on the loner side and doesn't have many friends :(, he'll throw in all his free time to make sure she gets out and has fun

And he's especially protective when someone is interested in dating her, he doesn't take kindly to them especially if he senses some underlying intentions

Closes up, clams up and his kindness and hospitality is gone, only the stone cold faced sergeant

Roach

He's never been a father before, what's he even supposed to do? The most he's taken care of is a hamster and the bug collection that's on display

Probably doesn't really hit him until you really start to show, like he's excited but constantly jumpy at any sign of pain you show, you wince? Should he get the car started? Feel a kick? The baby must be coming, right?

You've had to calm him down, tell him you appreciate his enthusiasm but that he needs to be the one to calm down, probably getting more sentimental than you are right now

Omg and the moment he saw you give birth and hold the baby he was shaking and crying, he couldn't believe he witnessed that, he's staring down at his baby girl and he's thanking you by pressing kisses to your forehead

She's definitely a daddy's girl, always sticking close to him and developing an interest for his same hobbies

Alejandro

I can see this man turning into mother the minute the child is born, like you've already given birth to his kids you've done enough now let him take over

He can cook pretty well actually and loves sneaking up out of bed to prepare the kids breakfast and surprise you by the time you wake up with breakfast in bed

Also, he has to stop his habit of swearing around the kids, most of the time it's in Spanish but your kids will still pick up on it and try using it sentences when it's certainly not appropriate

He's also telling the kids stories of when he was their age that are blown out of proportion, very common for him to exaggerate and add details just to make them gasp and believe it, thinks it's funny because they're so gullible and you're just standing there listening to his nonsense shaking your head

Rudy

He practically melted when you told him you wanted to try for a baby

He's over the moon daydreaming about it, having a mini you and him

The type to be wanting to set up for the nursery as soon as he finds out you're expecting, also he just loves doing things around the house like the malewife he is that you almost suggested he carry to term instead

He'd love a daughter and would be the one singing lullabies, cradling her little body gently in his arms as he practically twirls around the room

Just watching that angelic little face that smiles when she wakes up and sees his loving face, he's the happiest man there could ever be

Practically living life through rose-colored glasses taking care of his princesita

Phillip Graves

He was made to father children

Those great genes of him make beautiful, cute babies that get fawned over everywhere you go

Showing off his offspring like if they were his greatest life achievement

He's so proud to have you too, he's bragging how you managed to give him kids and how well you do caring for them and him <3

He loves loves buying them toys of which you constantly scold him for, they've got so many!

Also, refuses to pay for a nanny or babysitter, even for dates you to go off on he'd rather a close family friend if it's ABSOLUTELY necessary, but he's trained and educated his kids so well you two could go to a fancy dinner and they would keep still

Makarov

He's probably always thinking about having more and more kids

Like he can't ever get tired of them, once his first child was nearing teen years and his second and third were already well past their toddler stage he just wouldn't stop bringing the conversation up

Until it's past midnight and kid one will come in saying they don't feel well and ask for medicine, then kid two comes crying because they've just had a nightmare and kid three threw up and kid four made a mess and won't go to sleep-

He's constantly buying them toys when you tell him they had more fun playing with a box and bubble wrap than the expensive playset he bought them, still he doesn't mind letting his money fly when it comes to you or his kids, for that he has no limit

Just shrugs and hands the kid money when they ask for it (wouldn't that be useful?)

Keegan

He wanted one kid only and that's because according to him "kids are too much work", but he pisses you off probably more than the kid

He also gives terrible life advice, telling the kid how to get away with stuff when he thinks you're not listening but suddenly you come around the corner giving him a glare and reminding him if he keeps this up he'll be the one dealing with it because it's his fault

You're surprised your kid doesn't come back seriously injured when they're out with Keegan, not that he's reckless but he tends to show the kid to do things that they aren't exactly ready for... like those huge, sharp pliers you saw barely being held by small, tender hands, you were clutching your chest the entire time scared while Keegan told you he'd be fine, only doing some yard work

König

König as a father is such a common thought in my head, like he becomes 10x more daddy material

Just seeing him come home tired but still clean up and throw on some sweatpants to play with his toddlers who have a ton of energy

And also carry the baby who's less than a year old while sitting on the living room couch watching the others play has you going feral

Just seeing him like that makes you want to birth more babies for him, you're literally begging him to put more babies in you while he softly goes "no"

It's not that he doesn't want more but he sees how hard you work taking care of them and he doesn't want to stress you out :(

Horangi

Poor Horangi finds himself in the absolute weirdest predicaments, one of the girls lost her favorite stuffed toy, last she remembers she had been playing with it outside in the rain

Now he has to spend over an hour outside looking for it in the dark with a flashlight in hand as he searches for the damn thing because otherwise she won't go to sleep, you're inside holding her while she sobs about her plushie

After who knows how long he finds the old thing, it's covered in mud, the fur matted and not to say... foul smelling, definitely needs a good wash, so there he is inside scrubbing it and using a hair dryer because the drying machine would take too long

Until finally, he can hand it over and watch her turn in bed happily snuggling with the stuffed animal

God is it hard to be a parents but it's rewarding and so worth every moment

Nikto

This man gets drunk off the thought of having children with you despite he's always put off whenever you brought the possibility up

Still, he likes to think about it, the chubby hands reaching out for him, a soft voice calling for him, oh and how you'd look... all caring and nurturing towards the little thing

Yeah screw it he wants one or two or-

He just wants it to be his turn, his one chance at a haven

Oh and he's turned into the softest most gentlest creature that there could ever be, he'll silently observe as you feed her, just admiring this beautiful scenery like a painting

One night, Nikto insists on putting the baby to sleep, you let him while you go get ready for bed and when you come back to check on him he's singing in soft tones while placing the already sleeping baby in the crib, you lean on the doorframe careful not to make noise and just enjoy the moment

[marsprincess889]

Yoni animal observations

I did something similar with nakshatras. This is them in a very simple way. This is based on traditional associations as well as my own observations of real life and art. 💕 The word "yoni", as well as meaning the female reproductive organ, also means "origin". Yoni animal represents the instinct of the nakshatra and ultimately, reveals its true core nature.

Also, disclaimer: it's very sad that I have to say this, and apologies if you're not one of those people, but if you're going to correct anything in this post by writing one or more long paragraphs of why you think I'm wrong, you might as well just start your own blog or make your own post about the subject. I've been observing yoni animals for years and I'm kind of sorry if any of this offends you, but I'm not trying to attack anyone personally, or even a specific placement (nakshatras in this case), cause that's just dumb. Of course, everyone is free to express their opinions but please do it politely and have some respect for the person who took their time to gain and share knowledge. It's very easy to correct others, it's very hard to be faultless yourself. So, factual corrections are always welcome(say someone got someone's chart placement wrong, or they have written a factually incorrect association, like if they were to write that Jyeshta is fierce as opposed to sharp/cruel in nature.), but, once again, everyone's view is different and so either respect mine or don't write anything at all.

With that being said, you can now enjoy this post💕

Horse yonis

Ashwini and Shatabhisha

Keywords: activity, simplicity, masculinity(solar/yang), independence, healing.

Straightforward people. They might tend to have black and white thinking, can be very blunt with their delivery and definitely prone to "deafness": not hearing others' views. Simple and utilitarian, goal-oriented. Their presence might not be really noticed until the moment they suddenly speak up about or act on something. Love to point stuff out. Either quiet or very precise while speaking. Not aggressive but can be combative. Most likely will oppose someone before making peace. Independence>sharing. Don't like anything "unnecessary", love to get to the point.

Elephant yonis

Bharani and Revati

Keywords: slow, authority, time, timelessness, strength, transitions, protection, completion, gentleness, complexity, depth.

Not revealing their innermost selves, only revealing it to a select group of people, if to anyone. They attach meaning to things based on their experiences. Protective and gentle with each other, closed off to most of the others. Very private. Not really concerned with trends. Observant but not quick to act. Can have many sides to them that some others might fail to understand. Have an air of wisdom, but not that of arrogance. Still, they are the most likely to knowingly take the high road but still protect their peace, making them very exclusive, although it's never for show. Defensive but quietly so. Accomodating to some degree on the outside, there's always more to them than what's obvious. See the bigger picture in every situation. They have a certain quiet strength and power. Nurture is important to them. Do not appreciate unnecessary aggression and try to dominate over anything they consider harsh/crude.

Sheep yonis

Krittika and Pushya

Keywords: precision, structure, minimalism, choosiness, contained.

Do not like excess in anything. They have a sense of balance, usually in almost everything. Prioritize sctructure and basics/essentials. Like clarity and clear-cut lines in their lives and around them. Can be snappy, but in a passive-aggressive way. Not harsh in a heavy/overwhelming way but still harsh about details. Have a soft demeanor with strangers and acquaintances, sometimes even people close to them in everyday life but can judge them quietly. Neutral to friendly on the outside, but if they have uncomfortable emotions they try hard to release them quietly/without much fuss. Might bottle up resentment in result. Very utilitarian and practical.

Snake yonis

Rohini and Mrigashira

Keywords: enjoyment, ease, materialism, basic awareness, growth, progress, sensory indulgence, instincts.

Very placid and calm. They focus mainly on material things but can live without luxuries, and can also share them, although privacy is very important to them. Very aware of their surroundings and their own presence. Attuned to their senses. Can get easily attached to people and things. Can exhibit selfish tendencies(or that's how it looks to others) when they feel like their desires are ignored, but Rohini and Mrigashira each do it differently.

Dog yonis

Ardra and Mula

Keywords: upheaval, critical point, rebelling, release, change, anchoring.

Tense but not frail. Might look tortured sometimes. Do not like to and probably even cannot focus on details, at least not how it's traditionally done(different to each situation). Like to display their individuality in one way or another. Dark humor or sassy comebacks. Either quiet or very loud, but either way, opinionated. If they're neutral then they're opinionated about being neutral. Can be kind of nihilistic but at peace with it. Contrarian and unapologetic. If they don't care about something you can't make them care. If they do care, they care intensely.

Cat yonis

Punarvasu and Ashlesha

Keywords: accumulation, buildup, purity, safety, protection, preservation, cycles.

Concerned with what influences them, not so much what they put out. Self-focused but also highly aware of others' needs. Can adapt to surroundings and can change their behavior based on what they need or really want. Not unkind but laser-focused on the boundaries. Always keep their cards close to their chest, not out of malice but simply to preserve their safety. Look more unnaproachable than they really are, and know more than they share with most.

Rat yonis

Magha and Purva Phalguni

Keywords: dispersion, creativity, planting seeds, the self.

Can be egocentric. Prideful and nonchalant. Love to show off. Might be aware of surroundings to some degree but even if they are, they rarely care. Getting what they want is the priority, along with self-expression. Not very moralistic, don't care much about labels. Sometimes they can be too detached. Will almost never catch them crying in front of others, although they can be dramatic if they want and can, without a problem, attract their dwsired attention. Their happiness is more warm and generous than loud and euphoric. Might have a poker face, they rarely show strong emotions. The strongest emotion I've seen them express is that of defensiveness, and that's not even an emotion. When they get defensive it's almost always because something has touched their pride or triggered their ego. Focused on what they can do.

Cow yonis

Uttara Phalguni and Uttara Bhadrapada

Keywords: stability, the long-term results, natural, softness, power/influence, unity, calm.

Stubborn. That's the only defense they have, because otherwise they're very soft. Naturally honest. They have an effortlessness about them that feels easy to be around, and they are pleasant to be around but not accepting of everyone. They avoid people they don't like from early on and stick to the ones they consider better. Not hesitant to defend themselves or people close to them, but not quick to waste that energy on just anyone, and when they do become defensive they still maintain "the high ground". Backing their allies and fighting proudly is natural for them. Again, very stubborn, so they rarely, if ever, give up on something important. Although they're tough, they're not sharp or cruel. They are mostly in a state calmness and assuredness rather than anxious defensiveness. Very fixed and comfortable in their ways.

Buffalo yonis

Hasta and Swati

Keywords: materialism, gain, comfort, strength, feminine(yin), ease.

More attached to material things than other yonis. Individuality is defined through connections and surroundings. Love comfort and ease. Interdependence>independence. Can be curiously neutral and accomodating. Self-focused but not selfish. Often phlegmatic and slow. Genuinely caring but can be cunning. Not the most direct people. They will let others know their views but won't push them aggressively on others. Almost everything about them is filtered through that neutrality.

Tiger yonis

Chitra and Vishakha

Keywords: building, gradual, defensive, expression, buildup.

The most defensive. Can look sweet on the outside but are not all soft. Can range from extremely forgiving to extremely vengeful. Aggression comes out while speaking. Rarely, if ever, present in a state of calm melancholy. They moreso go from happy/fun to agitated. Focused on development/building, and always look for more than what's natural for them. Witty but emotionally so. If they're highly agitated, it's very hard for them to exercise restraint in the moment. Not that direct in general but unfiltered during critical moments. It's easy for them to put on a mask, whether out of neccessity or just for fun. Can be very judgemental. If they're not aware, it can make them act in a "mean" way when they feel not their best.

Rabbit/Deer yonis

Anuradha and Jyeshta

Keywords: society, organization, status quo, responsibility, transpersonal, maturing.

Very non-aggressive on the inside, despite how they might look. Naturally have endurance and a sense of responsibility. Can be judgemental but also understanding. Love to give advice. Competitive but respectful. Can become arrogant. Love everything "classic" but want to establish their own, new structures. Choosy and sometimes exclusive. More warm than they appear, and capable of more emotions than how it seems. Often traditionally intelligent. Have a very civilized behavior.

Vanar yonis

Purva Ashadha and Shravana

Keywords: flow, alliances, connections, support, creation and preservation.

Good at reading between the lines, anything too structured is harsh for them. Otherworldly aura/mannerisms. Most likely to posses what others might consider as "quirks". Value their own individuality and uniqueness. Seeks to be different from what they consider boring, normal or basic. Not very reactive. When they get defensive, they get quiet. Can romatisize sadness and melancholy. Capable of seeing both sides but are often willingly biased.

Mongoose yoni

Uttara Ashadha

Keywords: independence, solitude, practicality, victory.

Truly neutral and unbothered. Value honesty and integrity. Not attached to material things at all. Easy to be around but their regal nature might put some people ill at ease. Naturally take on leadership positions. Might feel lonely but won't trade solitude for tiring/uninteresting company. Value practicality and simplicity, and are practical themselves. Surprsingly warm and feeling in certain moments, but can also be uncaring towards others.

Lion yonis

Dhanishta and Purva Bhadrapada

Keywords: notoriety, flashiness, power, aggression, pride.

Very unfiltered and loudly so. Unashamed and bold, proud. That pride and confidence fuels their calmness, but they can lack patience. In everyday interactions they can look very unreactive but if something "triggers" them, they will not hesitate to be a little(or not so little) aggressive. Love to spread their influence. Might strongly dislike anything that looks subtle and quiet to them, as it arises distrust in them. Rarely, if ever, use/appreciate sarcasm. They prefer directness. Can slip into being a bully, or can become a proud voice for others.

[dog-bimbo]

puppy!hybrid reader x owner!shiu kong cuz i gotta live up to my username and also, i've had a couple of rough weeks ☆ t/w fem!reader who's a puppy hybrid, petplay, reader is compliant, p in v, dumbification, oral sex, spanking, muzzles, sex toys, mentions of pregnancy, slight angst but a lot of fluff minors and ageless blogs do not interact !

owner!shiu absolutely adores you. perky, soft and extremely pliant—you were a sight for his sore eyes. all he wanted after reaching his prime was to have fun with someone as sweet as you after a long day of work. he seemed very well composed and formal but he could feel that facade of his crumble a bit the minute he'd lay his eyes on you.

you were owner!shiu 's living and breathing doll. "'m home." you'd practically be pawing and scratching him once he enters the door out of desperation and he'd pick you up and let you pepper him with as many kisses you want to give him. "did you miss me, puppy?" he lifts you up and embraces you tightly, he knows how much it makes you squeal. he makes sure to pat your head, scratch the back of your ears, softly caresses your tail, give you a lot of rubs all over your body and spin you around at times because all of those things made you feel like you were on the top of the world. "good girl, good girl, you're such a good girl." is all he keeps saying when he's cuddling you and this makes you feel super euphoric, this is the kind of high he could die for.

owner!shiu 's only goal is to keep you safe and happy within your confines. you're extremely ditzy and simple and he knows you like the back of his hand. he'd buy you the frilliest of dresses and accessories and whatever made you truly happy and comfortable. "give daddy a twirl, sweetheart, c'mon... good girl." he'd murmur, watching you try out all the things that he gets for you.

owner!shiu loves it when you run your feet up his torso as he makes you wear the new pair of thigh high stockings that he bought, he loves it when you nibble, suck and lick him because at the end of the day, all you had to do was the bare minimum and he'd give you the world. whatever it is, he'll make you sit on his lap, shaking his leg because he knows how much you love the stimulation and hear you talk about nonsense for hours on end till you get sleepy and fall asleep on his chest.

there are times when owner!shiu is stressed but he has his sweet puppygirl to relieve all of it, doesn't he? he slaps his cock on your longing, salivating tongue, "you want it, don't ya?" he swears that his cock melts off the minute you start lapping and sucking at it. he gently grips your hair as he rubs your ear while you're going at it. "hah- who's my good girl, who's my good girl?" and when he starts to cum, he leaves his cock nestled deep inside your throat as he gushes and when he pulls out and a bit of cum drops on the floor, you make sure to lick all of it without wasting a drop because you're his good girl.

owner!shiu 's favourite position is very obviously doggystyle. he always has one of his hands planted on your hips and the other one on his abdomen as he's practically leaning on you while thrusting his length all the way to your hilt, "fuuuuuucckkk... you're so good f'me, aren't you, my good girl," and you'd mewl broken yes's as he takes good care of your heat periods. "...gonna fuck a litter right in y'r womb, what do you say, huh? i can make a mom outta you, if that's what you want..." and no matter how overwhelming it is, you want more and more of this. nothing ends till you pass out of pleasure eventually and even though he doesn't have the stamina to go on all night, he has his fingers and his mouth and all the toys in the world to keep going.

but owner!shiu is human after all and his patience runs thin at some point as well. whenever you're acting bratty or defiant which was rare, he'd always fix it. he'd bend you over on his lap and spank you till a deep red blossoms on the soft, tender swell of your ass. and at times when you got really unruly during your heat ruts and he's simply had enough of you humping thigh or his shoe, he'd keep you chained for hours with a vibrator on low and a muzzle on your mouth. "y'know i hate doin' this, don't ya? but this is what bad girls get."

owner!shiu is very mindful of your needs and wants but at times, he just cannot put yours above his and gets cruel. but what sticks on to you is when he calls you bad, that's the worst thing in the whole world. and when you cry and whimper in his arms, he hugs you, murmuring words of assurance and apologies all night because you're his sweet little puppy girl and he loves you.

[talaok]

Will you kiss me?

Pairing: Pedro pascal x reader

Summary: You are a famous actress who Pedro has a crush on, and he finally gets to meet you once you get both invited to The Graham Norton Show

warnings: just fluff

a/n: I had to

"What a pair we have here tonight huh?"Graham spoke enthusiastically, making the audience explode in roaring cheers and applauses.

You just smiled as you tried looking at the crowd, getting overwhelmed by the blinding lights.

"Y/n Y/l/n and Pedro Pascal, just- wow"

Other applauses filled the studio.

"Ok so let's start with you y/n, you have a show coming out next week, two oscar nominated films already out, and one more coming out next month" he took a deep breath, feigning fatigue "You must be tired, I mean, How long has it been since you slept?" he joked, making you laugh.

"well I did work a lot this past year, but it was worth it, I'm happy I got to be part of so many wonderful projects and I'm really proud of all of them, I just can't wait for people to see them"

"well I'm sure we're all gonna love them"

"I hope so, I'm always nervous about it"

"Really?" The man beside you asked, surprise clear in his tone.

Pedro Pascal,

You had heard of him before, of the boom he seemed to have made lately, but had never met him until half an hour ago, when you briefly introduced yourselves to one another.

He looked nervous, awkward even, and you didn't know if it was because of the show he was about to get on, if he just was like that, or if there was something else bothering him.

"of course, when I go to premiers I'm always looking over at how people are reacting, if they're like bored or on their phones or actually interested, it's nervewracking, don't you?"

"well of course I do" he chuckled "but I'm no one compared to you"

He had a beautiful smile, you noticed, sweet, comforting.

"oh stop it" you smacked his shoulder playfully " you're a big deal, Pedro"

He just shook his head, still smiling softly, and Graham took the opportunity to intervene.

"of course you are, I mean, Game of Thrones, Narcos," he listed " and now the Mandalorian and The last of us, I mean you're really killing it"

The crowd cheered some more at the mention of those shows.

"thank you," he said shyly, looking like he almost wanted them to stop.

"so how does it feel?" he asked, "to be on such massive hits at the same time?"

"Well, it feels... scary" he laughed, joined by the audience

"you don't like being the center of attention?" Graham asked

"oh no I do" he corrected, making you laugh "It's just frightening at times, 

but I'm having a good time y'know, it's also comforting seeing everyone I've worked with kind of be in the same position as me" he shrugged.

"People you've worked with?"

"yes, you know like Bella Ramsey, they're also- well they're young so of course, they're new to this- but, y'know, we're not used to all this attention and it feels good to have someone by your side who understands what's going on"

"of course" graham nodded "that's true, Bella is really young" he noticed "that's a thing both your shows have in common, young people," he said, "how did that feel? working with the new generation, I'm not saying you're old, but did you ever feel left out?"

"oh, all time" Pedro laughed

"yeah me too" you agreed "there were times when I was really lost but too ashamed to ask " you laughed in embarrassment

"absolutely," Pedro said, " they have a language of their own"

"right?!" you exclaimed, happy someone finally understood you.

"yes, like, there's one term that I learned recently that's really wonderful- somebody was saying - you swerve - "

You frowned

"do you know what swerving is?"

"nope" 

"I was like oh- get somebody off your scent or something like that- I don't know - confuse somebody, and they were like: no, they come in for a kiss and you swerve" he demonstrated, pretending to be avoiding a kiss on the cheek.

"Isn't that great?"

you nodded, laughing, as an idea came to you

"We should try"

His eyes widened as he turned to you 

"c'mon swerve me"

"no, I cannot swerve you!"

"c'mon it's for science"

"I can't, I can't swerve y/n Y/l/n, that's like - a crime"

"oh stop it, just do it, I wanna try it c'mon," you said, flattered

"ok fine, but just because I can't say no to you" he surrendered

"ok" you cleared your throat, preparing yourself "Oh wow, hi Pedro" you pretended to greet him, going in for a kiss.

He just smiled, as he did, eventually avoid your kiss,

his beard grazed your cheek, and the proximity to him, sparked something inside you, something quick, but likewise persistent.

As you leaned away, you noticed with amusement the flush on his cheeks and had to bite down a smile.

He fanned himself exaggeratedly "I'm blushing," he mumbled, making you chuckle, as you rested a hand on his arm, trying to soothe him.

" So how does swerving feel?" Graham asked

"it's... interesting" you glanced at him.

"It makes me feel rude" he looked at you too now, "I would never do it, it feels- it's mean"

"oh we know you wouldn't" you reassured him.

"I didn't like it" he shook his head

You smiled, tilting your head "would it make you feel better if we did it again without the swerving?"

You noticed how he seemed to have a momentary shutdown.

"yes," he said bluntly

"oh my god yes"

You laughed softly, as his mouth gaped open.

"Will you kiss me?" he almost begged, which was funny considering you had proposed it.

"Alright then, come here" you gestured, and he leaned closer, letting you press a quick kiss to his cheek.

"there" you smiled

"I think I just died"

"oh stop it, you're flattering me," you said, noticing a trace of red on his face "whoops, sorry I left a lipstick print" you went to clean it 

"no no" he stopped you 

"please leave it, I want proof this actually happened"

[a-student-out-of-time]

An Important Reminder In Trying Times

Hey everyone, Mod Bubbles here.

I know that I've said over and over that I don't like talking about politics on here, but I really feel the need to say this:

This Is Not The End.

I understand things probably seem really bleak right now. A lot of people are going to be hurt by this, and the sheer amount of fearmongering and worst case scenarios are inescapable. But the country and the world are not going to change overnight. To be honest, it may not change very much at all in the next four years. I'm not a political scientist, so I can't tell you that for sure. There's a lot to be concerned about.

What I can tell you, as a student of history, is this: not only have we survived this once, we have survived this every time.

Think about it this way: every single tyrant, every single right-wing representative, every single emperor and colonial power, every corporate scumbag and power-hungry lunatic. No matter how many of them have ever come to power, held onto power, and tried to make themselves seem invincible, not a single one has ever held back humanity's progress and not a single one has proven to be invincible.

There were countries throughout history, especially in the 20th century, that fell under brutal dictatorships and saw countless lives lost. Did the people just give up and accept it? Fuck no they didn't. They fought back. Many of them lived to see democracy restored to their lands in their lifetimes, or fought to see it restored in their children's.

From Europe to Latin America, while many countries still have their issues, they endured and their people have survived. Their governments were not invincible, just as none ever have been.

Regardless of the outcome of this election, the world will go on. People will not just roll over and accept whatever horrible things happen, the fight will continue and we will do everything in our power to carry on as we always have. We'll carry on to achieve bigger and better things.

Let me also be clear: if you feel the need to cry, please cry. If you're afraid, don't pretend you're not. If you're angry, allow yourself to feel that anger. But if you're seriously contemplating giving up or hurting yourself, please don't.

You may hear all this news and ask yourself, "Bubbles, what's the point? What can I do about all this?" I've felt that way too, I have for a long time. I understand completely. It's scary and overwhelming, but I'll tell you exactly what you can do to fight against that: you can be kind.

Do you want to know where the most tangible change in the world begins? It's never at the top. It begins with people like us on a communal level, where we reach out to help others. Whether that means we help our neighbors, our friends, or any strangers we can.

Going out of your way to start fights, looking for someone to blame based on the flimsiest justifications, and just being cruel because you're angry, those aren't how you change anything. Those just add to the problem.

Here's just some ideas on what you can do instead:

Get away from the news, stop doomscrolling, mute doomers, and turn the TV and news apps off. This will get you out of a negative feedback loop that'll make you feel worse and more powerless, which is what they're designed to do in order to maximize traffic.

Remember to eat, sleep, brush your teeth, take a shower, take your meds, and do everything else you need to do to stay healthy.

If you or someone else really feel like leaving the country for your own safety is best, you can still work do so. But please don't convince yourself that if you can't, it's over.

Give back to people as much as you can. Show the people in your life who support you that you care, and that all that they do for you matters.

Donate to good causes you believe in.

Stand up to bullshit whenever you see it.

Do not give up on your dreams and ambitions. One bad leader does not mean your future automatically ends. Stop worrying about any potential apocalypse in the future, because you can do that even on the best days, and instead work toward a future that you CAN achieve.

There's this pervasive and very inaccurate idea that it's only the president who gets to enforce policies on the country. This ignores governors, the House of Representatives, Congress, mayors, and the countless other leaders involved. And it ignores you.

You do not have to spend the next 3 years and 364 days doing nothing but feeling miserable. In fact, that's the last thing you should do. Fear and despair are the weapons they wield, and they only have as much power as you allow them to have over you.

If your view of politics is that you just have to vote for the "right one" and then everything will be utopian, or that if people vote for the wrong one" then we're headed for a terrible dystopian nightmare, I have to tell you that that is incredibly reductionist and also very dumb. I can also tell you from personal experience that it's not them who make the real changes where it's needed.

A friend sent me a video that really opened my eyes on this situation: Adam Conover, the guy behind Adam Ruins Everything, said he's not worried about all this. Why? Because he and some friends were able, through their own power, to make real positive changes in their community. They were able to bring homelessness down in their district by over 38% through their own efforts.

And he's right that, as a silver lining to all this, it made more Americans than ever take a stand against all the horrible shit they were seeing and get involved with solutions.

Speaking from my own experiences as well, when Hurricane Helene devastated my area, it wasn't the politicians who came and repaired roads and power lines, it wasn't them who brought in food and supplies to everyone, and it wasn't them who worked tirelessly to save people still in need. It was everyone in our local communities.

The people at the top have never really cared about anything more than your money and your vote, but the people around you care more than you may believe they would. Hell, even strangers on the internet care more than you'd believe.

Now, even if you've made it this far, you may be wondering "What about when he starts outlawing and banning things?" To that, I say look at Prohibition and see how well that went. Politicians have only ever operated under the idea that banning something will make it go away, and it always does the exact opposite. And if you're still worried, you can get involved with organizations that fight to support these things being available and regulated.

But by now, you may also be wondering "What if I can't get involved? What if I'm too young or I don't have the money, or my parents won't let me?"

Then just be kind.

Stop looking for enemies to blame. Don't martyr yourself for some nebulous cause or the idea that your suffering increasing means the rest of the suffering in the world will go down. Don't torture yourself by telling yourself that you didn't do enough.

Show compassion, show support, show love and genuine care toward people who need it, including yourself.

"But there's so many shitty people in this country and the world, why should I-" Stop thinking that way. This isn't about them, this is about you and how you can make a difference. There will probably always be shitheads and power-hungry morons, but that does not negate the fact that you can choose to be different. You can choose to be kind.

Kindness is a sword that you have to learn how to wield. Wield it responsibly and use it to help others. No matter how small or insignificant it may be, YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I say all this as a 29-year-old who spent most of his life feeling scared and miserable about so many current events, convincing myself I'm useless and selfish because I was worried about so much and I hated myself for all of it. And I've decide I'm not going to do that anymore.

During the last right-wing era, I managed to help build a whole community out of my love for Danganronpa. I created friendships, relationships, and there are people alive right now because I chose to do so. Because I chose to use that community for kindness. I want to keep building from there by going into streaming and reaching out to more people.

I won't lie to you and say that I'm not scared, because I am. But I'm also not going to let fear change who I am. I want us all to be better to ourselves and others, because that is how you defeat hate. It starts with you.

And if you're still concerned, let me share with you a quote from The Great Dictator, a movie made in 1940, when World War II wasn't even at its height yet:

To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish…

Please take care of yourselves out there, everyone. We'll get through this, just as we always have.

[knarme-art]

@recom-week

RETURN TO PANDORA MONTH

DAY 1 - MOUNT DESIGN (1.12.2024)

Ikran Series - Ngulya, Kxasi's Ikran

Name meaning - 'gray air' Bonded to - Kxasi of the Kxayltirey people Age / sex - nearing an older adult's prime, female About - Ngulya's psyche has a calming, comforting effect on Kxasi. She enjoys complex tasks that require good memory, making her an ideal companion to Kxasi, who is very ambitious and energetic.

Above: Only minimally shaded, mostly flat color reference missing the glow effects on the bioluminescent markings.

Above: Ngulya's bioluminescence in dim lighting

Above: Ngulya's bioluminescense in night lighting

History of Ngulya's design

Above: February 18th in 2023 - Here you also see Kxasi's old design. The purplish-gray look and orangeish/reddish bioluminescense have been a part of my vision for Ngulya from the very beginning.

Above: March 9nth in 2023 - Here is my first take for a full reference for Ngulya. This is the point where the pale head and neck became iconic traits to the otherwise dark purple design.

I've always been torn between oranges/browns and actual purples for many of the color areas in this design, as you see from that earlier color draft.

Above: This year, I wanted to finally make proper ikran templates for the sake of more comfortable designing of all my ikran characters.

This is an early version of the final template set I created, and two different drafts of Ngulya.

Sadly I never saved these drafts, so these are just badly compressed screenshots from my Bluesky and Twitter accounts.

The one on the right is my last draft before beginning work on the final one, as I started to be happy with the markings.

The orange one on the left of the 2nd image is not Ngulya, but a draft for another ikran entirely.

Above: For a very long time, I could not make the bioluminescent highlight markings fit anywhere into this design, so I almost called it 'done' in this stage.

The color pallette was more brown than purple. It was a really hard decision to tweak the pallette once more, so I could make it all good-looking with the highlight color.

About my thought process...

I create my ikran OC designs entirely via body/emotional/visual synesthesia. This intuitive process doesn't contain conscious thought, but rather letting an 'inner eye' show me things.

This method lets me get ideas I couldn't otherwise get, unlike when combining my old clichés in a calculated manner etc. Instead of such calculated process, instead I succumb to a more dreamlike intuition where my brain can just fire whatever.

For these ikran, I must feel like I am them, to create their appearances. For the same character, like Kxasi, even for a long period of time, I've been getting the same results with this process...

I imagine the na'vi during their 'Iknimaya' (or equivalent), the type of feeling I would have about them as a person, as if they stood in front of me.

Then, I imagine I'm indeed an ikran looking at them, - what kind of a mental and emotional being would I be, to feel particularly drawn to this na'vi? I imagine the feelings.

These feelings inform me of the ikran's whole design, as well as personality.

Kxasi's ikran Ngulya is a character I can understand, put myself into, imagine her feelings and personality/temperament from the inside, and how she'd feel even when connected with Kxasi's consciousness via tsaheylu.

I can also imagine how Kxasi feels connected to her.

Their personalities contrast each other. Kxasi is hot-headed and energetic, while Ngulya is a calming presence. Usually, Ngulya even discourages Kxasi's antagonistic impulses when they're connected.

However, if overwhelmed by the need to protect, Ngulya's mind will be drunken on quite the berserker's adrenaline, - also affecting Kxasi that same way. Their minds will melt into one demonic entity with the sole goal of turning someone into minced meat. This can be triggered by putting their loved ones or personal home etc. in danger.

Ngulya resembles my favorite, now-deceased dog Lola a lot by her personality. Her 'feel' is very much like what Lola was, even though I did not intentionally create her in Lola's image.

She's funny and silly like Lola, obsessive and persistent in tasks like Lola, has basically endless energy to run (fly), hunt and play, - and there is a soft comforting energy to her. She's also fiercely territorial and protective, - just like Lola... I definitely see her as a Pisces, like that dog was, also.

[justporo]

Hello! Love your writing SO much. I’ve always wondered though, what would Astarion do if he was in love with Tav but she was insecure about how pretty he was and how she wasn’t good looking enough for him??

So first of all, Anon, let me apologise for letting this sit in my inbox so long - and thank you so much! I guess at some point I've gotten a little overwhelmed with all ideas and requests. I'll still try and answer as many as possible!

So, back on topic:

Headcanons for Astarion battling his partner's insecurity

When you open up about how you feel insecure - especially compared to him - you get a staredown first of all; it does nothing to help with your anxiety and insecurity

"Darling, we don't talk bad about ourselves in this relationship, only about others!"

Expect a lot of aggressive and kind of hysteric support (because this man can talk himself into a fit)

"You'd seriously think I'd settle with anything below heartbreakingly beautiful? Really? You think too much of me!"

He's serious (but also you know it's more than about surface stuff)

He tries everything: aggressive flattery, poetically pointing out all the most beautiful things about you, just staring into your eyes while holding your face (until you might start to cry because damn, this is about you but he's so beautiful)

In all seriousness, when he realises none of it is helping, he will make you stand up, in the middle of the room

His hands wander over your spine, make you straighten your back, lift your chin up, maybe put a strand of hair back behind your ear

One of his hands softly grabs your chin, his brows furrow: "You've done this for me once, now let me be your mirror, my love. When I look at you - I see these eyes, first of all. They're capable of so much: the greatest warmth I've ever felt, fierceness that would make even the strongest foe quiver, deep admiration for all the beauty in the world that you always tend to find. And this smile that never fails to almost make me stumble. Gods be damned, if my heart wasn't cold and dead in my chest it would skip a beat every time you smiled at me. And this body - do you even understand what it has accomplished? Carried you through every step, every battle, every blow and blast - to me if I may be so selfish. So I can admire and worship it everyday." "I thought this wasn't supposed to be poetry?"

And Astarion hushes you and pulls you to him, kisses you until you forget whatever it was you had been feeling in the first place

To be sure, very very sure, Astarion repeats this time and again - especially the worshipping part - that's his favourite

(He casually ruins it by making jokes about how you're "the second most beautiful person in the room", but you forgive him quickly)

Astarion is just very good at getting his point across, don't you think? So you should better believe him!

Tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess

[dogcircle-scans]

I'm really curious to know if you have officially dropped the manga. If so (and even if not obvs), I'd just like to thank you for so many amazing years of awesome translations. This manga may not be very popular in the west but I'm glad you kept bringing it for so many of us

Hey, sorry for just now seeing this even though this question was sent back in late November.

No, we haven't officially dropped the manga, and Idk if any group has picked up the series while I was gone. Emphasis on the "I" because our absence was not a consenting choice made by anyone else in this group. So if anyone harbors any kind of resentment, then do not direct it towards anyone but me. If we ever decide to officially drop the series, I'll make an official announcement on this blog. To be honest, I wasn't really gonna make much hubbub about a comeback and just post a chapter as if no time had passed. But, because I got this question and you were very nice about it. I'll give some insight.

- 🦙

The only reason I'm an active part of this fandom (any fandom now really) despite it being against my lurker nature and excessive anxiety issues is because I was encouraged to do so by a friend. If you know me from Discord, then you probably know that aside from running this blog, I'm leader of the scan group and owner of its server, I'm even an admin for the Natsume fan server which is its own separate thing.

I don't know if that sounds already sounds overwhelming, but just to scare you, I also proofread the scripts so the dialogue sounds natural and act as quality checker for each chapter. This means cleaning/redrawing sections of pages if the CLDR forgot or didn't meet the standard of quality I'm looking for. Similar with typesetting, I'll rearrange the text if I feel it could be done better. I'm also the main SFX person. When it comes to the scan server, outside of running and maintaining it, I also act as mod to make sure people aren't posting anything inappropriate or inoffensive + setting up bots and permissions.

When I was in High School and even during my early years of college, I could manage it cause I had the support and energy for it. Plus, my love for Natsume was scary intense. So when life got hard, I found that working on scans acted as a lifeline.

Then I had a messy fallout with the friend who prompted all of this, and things shifted. It didn't help that things in my personal life got really bad and more or less stayed that way for 2/3 years. And because of the association, and the guilt of falling behind, working on Natsume was no longer a stress-relieving activity. It became the source of my stress. I ran away because I was scared and overwhelmed. It wasn't healthy and it only made things worse, honestly.

But, I've been really hard on myself over this past year, and I finally reached the point of wanting to come back, but the guilt from being a deadbeat was still eating me alive. Then I got really sick at the start of this month, and I'm no lie, I'm still sick... but that gave me a lot of time to think and reevaluate all kinds of things. Because honestly? I miss working on scans and the collaborative aspect that I fell in love with because of Natsume.

And literally just this past Saturday/Sunday night, I sent a message to the group, apologizing for what I did and provided a similar explanation of why I did what I did. I trying it as just an explanation and not an excuse - I hope I was able to do that here too.

I told my group to give me several days before I actually start working on scans again, though, because it'll allow me to catch up with everything and figure out what needs to be done next, and it'll also give me more time to recover.

Thank you once again for being kind and understanding! I really appreciate it 🥹💚

[the-tech-turn]

UNFINISHED

Summary: Crosshair finds Tech's old journal and reads through it.

Word Count: 1,136

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, s2 spoiler

A/N: This takes place right after the ending of episode 4 s3. I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO FINISH I PROCRASTINATED TO HARD! This was supposed to be my 50 follower celebration but now it's the 151 followers celebration! Now everyone say thank you to my bestie for peer pressuring me into finishing this and proof-reading this.

The moment Crosshair walked onto the ship after reuniting with his brothers he felt like something was off. He knew Tech was no longer with them but as he looked toward Hunter in the pilot's seat he knew it was wrong. That was Tech’s seat. Tech was supposed to fly. Tech was supposed to be there. Tech was supposed to be here. Yes, Crosshair may have reunited with his family but not all of them. Not his genius brother who would never stop talking. Oh, what he would give to hear his voice geek about different kinds of insects or Wookie culture. Crosshair gets up from his seat and walks into the barracks. He walked up to Tech’s bunk staring at all the projects that would never be finished. Gently, he moved the projects enough to sit but still kept them in relatively the same spot. He didn’t want to disturb Tech’s things. ‘He never let us near them anyways,’ he remembered. He threw his head back, a mere attempt at holding back his tears. He missed his brother. Then a thought came into his mind. A long time ago Crosshair had given him a notebook. A real paper notebook. Tech hasn't used it much since “ It is a precious gift that I do not intend to misuse.” He wondered if he ever had used it. He looks around his bunk seeing nothing. He looks under the bunk and in every place that he can think of to find the book. But he couldn’t. ‘Maybe he lost it or threw it away. Wow, Tech, really showing its “value”, he pauses. ‘ Or maybe…it was on Kamino.’ He didn’t like thinking about it much, but the day the city he was raised in drowned was the day he lost all of his memories as a cadet. He recalled the time he first gave Wrecker Lula. Or the time Hunter had come up with the name the “ The Bad Batch”. Or when he found Tech’s hiding place for his datapad. The memory reminded Crosshair of the hiding spot he and Tech used on the ship. Crosshair used it to store his toothpicks, but Tech used it to hide what he deemed valuable.

‘Maybe, just maybe, it was in there.’ Crosshair crawls across the bed stopping when he gets to the edge of the bed. He reaches over to the side of his bed and carefully pries open a panel. With his hand, he searches for the notebook in the dark box until he locates the small red booklet. He grabs the book and flips through it. ‘Yep, he definitely wrote in it,’ but as Crosshair continued to flip through pages he realized just how many pages were blank. Never to be written in. Never to be drawn on. He got up and sat on Tech’s bunk once more. He opened the book, analyzing the handwriting. He saw how the handwriting improved with every entry. While skimming the book one word caught his attention. “Race”. Omega has told him about the time they were bodyguards for someone named Cid and Tech was forced to race to keep everyone safe. “ What’s so important about a mission on some sketchy planet?” Crosshair wonders. There was only one way to find out so he started reading.

I had won the race (obviously) but to my surprise, the crowd cheered which is not uncommon at such events. I've heard their screams since I arrived. I also had full confidence in my ability, but hearing them chant my name with so much excitement, along with the praise from my siblings, I felt an overwhelming joy. All my life I had been made fun of, due to my enhancement. Mainly by regs, I have also endured endless teasing from my brother's thanks to my constant "rambling". It no longer bothered me much but it took a lot of self-reassurance to get to such a point. Little praise was given to me, the only source of which came from my brothers. No one else had a reason to provide that to me for it was my purpose. But now there are hundreds if not thousands of people admiring my skill. It felt nice, to say the least. 

Crosshair gave a soulful smile. ‘ He had been mocked all his life, and I participated in it,’ he admitted sorrowfully, ‘At least, he didn’t hold it against me.’ Crosshair lets out a sigh and flips to another page. Crosshair pauses, his name on the page. Hesitantly he begins reading, afraid of Tech’s true feelings towards him after everything. He could only hope his brother didn’t think poorly of him.

Omega asked me why I didn't care about Echo leaving us and while I think I responded appropriately the interaction got me thinking about Crosshair again. I’ve tried to forget, but that plan was flawed. How was I supposed to ignore him if I didn’t want to? I eventually came to accept his decision but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. In all honesty, I miss the times when we’d cause trouble in the mess hall. I miss when we’d compete in who shot more droids. I miss the moments when I work on a project and he’d sit next to me and clean his rifle. I miss when we would be up at the latest hours when I would ramble about anything and everything while he’d try his best to stay awake. He enjoyed sleeping a lot so it was difficult for him, but I appreciate what he did. I miss when things were simpler- no that is incorrect. I do not miss fighting for the republic. Back then we had to risk our lives, we were mistreated, we didn’t have Omega and we couldn’t choose for ourselves. I miss Crosshair. But I don’t think I’ll see him again. But, if there's one thing certain about Crosshair is his loyalty. That was evident when he stayed with the Empire. It never falters but it can shift when the loyalty isn’t mutual. I believe that is why he left us. When we denied the Empire he felt that we denied him. I do not regret leaving the Empire but I do regret not taking Crosshair with us. I find myself replaying recordings of him when I am in need comfort. It’s the closest thing that I have to him with me.

Tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He should’ve come back sooner. If he had his brother would still be here. Crosshair looked around the room and studied it. He sees Tech’s projects, equations, and blueprints. All are things that Tech never got to finish. Looking down towards the journal, Crosshair decided to complete writing on the book. So it didn’t have to remain unfinished. 

EXTRA: Here's some old art I made when first promoting this fic.

[witches-dream]

The trailer is just. Gorgeous. In every way. The feeling of dizziness, infinity and confusion it gives is impeccable, i love the way everything flows together, i love the gorgeous 3d models and the horror of not really knowing what's real and what's fake. And ofc Japanese Shmilk is ohhhh my god 😳😳😳

Ok so pv doesn't appear to be going alone, he's accompanied by GingerBrave, Strawberry and Wizard who appear a bunch of times, and White Lily, who in pretty sure only appears in the beginning. But in a lot of scenes pv is alone, making me think that he's gonna get separated from the rest after some point.

With the epic releases we've had accompanying the beast and awakened ancient releases, there's been a pattern of the first epic being someone who's on the beasts side and second being someone who's on the ancients side. It's only happened twice though so both of Shmilks epics might be on his side tho. The cookie with dark hair gives me butler vibes. The one with white hair looks like the type of character who appears cute and sweet, but it's secretly fucked up, sorta like Haetae. That's all i can say about them for now

Other than that, the rest of my thoughts are pretty scattered, so let's see

1. Love the music

2. Love the chess and the taro cards and the circus and the eyes theming. Not enough mirrors tho

3. Love whatever the hell this thing is

I really really hope we get some answers about either Blueberry Yogurt Academy or Dark Moon Magic, ideally both, which is what i think this is about

4. This Cookie reminds me of Crimson Moon Acolyte but i may be tripping lol

5. If anyone still had doubts about whether we were gonna get glimpses of pre corrupt Shmilk, i think it's pretty obvious now that we are

6. If this update doesn't make pv's character any more interesting to me I'm gonna be sad (i think he's boring)

7. Again. Where the heck White Lily gone

She appears at the start a couple of times, but the very next scene after the puppeteer one, she's gone. She also doesn't appear in later instances of the rest of the gang appearing, then running up the stairs, getting sucked into the nefarious vortex and on the chess scene. I wonder if Shmilks gonna gaslight pv about that, knowing how important she is to him. Plus Blueberry Yogurt Academy connection again

8. THE STAIRS. I've been listening to Stairwell by Nick Lutsko religiously waiting for this update you don't know how happy i am to see the goddamn stairs. This song to me is from Shmilks pov, singing about pv and "she" is Lily

9. Since when is Shmilk snake-coded. I'm living for it tho

10. I just realized i think the reflection is showing a Shmilkified version of pv. New costume anybody? (Don't have too many hopes for this tho lol)

11. The title screen, again, is gorgeous, probably one of my all-time favorites

So what can we see here? Once again, like with the other beast updates, the presence of the beast is overwhelming, and the hero appears small and insignificant. We can expect this turning the other way around in the second half of the update, though i imagine it will be a bigger change than with Mystic Flour/Dark Cacao and Burning Spice/Golden Cheese. Simply because i can't see pv being in the same position as sm here tbh

We only see one of the new cookies? Where's the second one?

There's cutouts of the other ancients in the picture (and they appear elsewhere in the trailer too) which makes me think that, just like Shmilk compares pv to his past self, he's gonna do that shit about the other ancients too. Just to say like ohhh you have this potential to become evil too you know, all of you.

My theory from a while ago was that Shmilk was gonna show pv the past of the beasts, showing that they too were good and driven by a desire to help others and spread kindness, which could make pv sympathize, because he's a softie like that. Which would then either corrupt pv or make him want to try to "redeem" the beasts and want to help them, which the beasts could obviously abuse. From The devs pov, that's a good way to hype the fans and tease pre-corruption costumes, which i think are 100% coming at some point. (Btw i don't think the coty costume Mystic is gonna get will be her pre-corrupt one, simply because i think that's planned regardless. She's gonna get a different, unique one. Plus, coty costumes are legendaries I'm pretty sure, and i think pre-corrupt costumes are gonna be epics, maybe specials, but deffo not legendaries. Watch me be wrong tho). Similarly to how Dark Cacao got so miserably helpless in his story and Golden Cheese was so physically and mentally drained in hers, i think Vanilla will be in a similar state before awakening too, but he's gonna have to break out of the illusions Shmilk feeds him, so maybe like. He's gonna get very very close to corrupting as a result of Shmilks influence. I hope I'm making sense here lol

12. Last thing i think. The decor set is gonna be sick

[eruanee]

On Round 7 and the utility of sacrifice

⚠️ ROUND 7 SPOILERS ⚠️

I wanted to use this post to respond to some criticism I've seen circulating about Round 7 — it mostly being about Till's death making Ivan's sacrifice useless.

To be fair, this post doesn't aim to dismiss anyone's feelings or criticisms about R7 or Till's (presumed) death, they're all incredibly valid! I even have my own that I will talk about later. This post's only goal is really just to start a conversation about the general narrative of ALNST and how to write a compelling narrative in general. No matter what I'll say, people resonate with stories differently and expect different things from them, and that's okay!

Personally, I truly didn't expect Till to die. Before R7 came out, I even texted a friend saying this:

– If one of them has to die, I think it'll be Luka. Till's protagonist syndrome is too strong and his death would be narratively flat, I believe. – Yeah.

And well, shot missed, unlike the one that shot through Till's neck.

Though, I really do believe Till might not be dead, not only because of the #copium but this isn't really the point of this post — I will assume he is so I can discuss what his death would actually mean to the narrative and how it would impact it.

I understand that no one (including myself) expected R7 to go that way. A lot of it had us realizing we might have gotten some elements of the story wrong — something I didn't take into consideration is that the round was probably rigged to make sure Luka would win, which makes sense because of course that Alien Stage isn't the fairest competition (and if Ivan's pictures on the billboards aren't part of Till's hallucinations, this is plainly evil).

R7 also had us wondering what the goal of the rebels truly is: did they even intend to save Till? If not, why did they save Mizi, what did they see in her? Unlike what I first thought, like many others, it seemingly wasn't a rescue mission.

When I watched R7 for the first time, I audibly gasped the moment I saw the "Luka wins" sign appears and Till being shot down. And I thought "Ah, so that's the kind of story VIVINOS wanted to make." I was already a huge fan of their work before ALNST began, mostly of their horror stuff. When I watched it, I knew I was about to sit in front of absolutely devastating content that would leave me sick. The tragedy was always cruel, often unrewarding, but I would always ask for more. Good thing ALNST now exists, uh!

I mention this to state I went into ALNST expecting roughly the same thing and it's essentially what I got. I didn't expect Till to die but his death, in a way, didn't surprise me. Did it make me sick though? It sure did!

I do agree R7 feels incomplete. I think it's interesting that I have not a single idea of what's going to happen next, but my biggest regret is indeed that Till's death doesn't seem to do justice to his character or characterization.

Till, the rebellious misfit, always breaking rules to the point he has to be physically restrained, completely beaten by despair and trauma once again, dying on stage after he got a slight glimpse of hope he can never actually reach.

This is peak tragedy, and a beautifully animated one at that, but it doesn't feel like a compelling character development. If Till is truly dead, then he dies with the potential of being so much more. And this is truly sad and disappointing.

And this is why his death would make me sadder than Sua's or Ivan's. They got to choose their deaths and what it would mean for them, Till didn't. He was suffering and overwhelmed. He only accepted his fate because he got to know Mizi was still alive before his final moments. He got to die in her embrace, which is probably the only thing he could've asked for if that were to happen.

Sua's death got to introduce us to the reality of Alien Stage.

Ivan's death was an emotional climax. It conclused his character arc in a devastating way, but gave him a meaningful ending nonetheless.

Their deaths let us understand what kind of world Alien Stage takes place in : a cruel world where humans are pets to aliens, if not simple disposal. A world where feelings are never reciprocated until it's too late, where you long for something impossible until you realize you should've paid attention to what was right in front of your eyes, too.

Alien Stage is a show where the candidates' suffering are seen and consumed as mere entertainment.

In this system, I believe Sua's and Ivan's meaningful deaths are anomalies. Till's death is the standard. An extremely unfair event, result of an extremely unfair competition. This isn't about who deserves to survive, but about who manages to. If anything, I think the aliens are relieved Till is dead, as he was mostly a bother to them. Luka is beloved and accommodating.

A world where death is the easy escape, if not almost a selfish one. Sacrifice is an act of love, but also an act of egocentricity. The sacrifice aims to be remembered as selfless and generous, but in the end, they only "run away without any sense of responsibility". The gift sounds beautiful when actually, it might only be rotten.

In such a world, how can a sacrifice ever be useful? I guess Ivan's wasn't. A sacrifice only happens to create a possibility, a chance, a what if.

Another very frustrating part of Till's death to me is that I thought he had the power to be a protagonist. I still stand by it but he was robbed of this agency. Him being used as a narrative device for Mizi's protagonist plotline (at least that's what I believe) feels a bit cruel, even narratively.

Alien Stage can be a frustrating story because it seems there is no way out, which is ultimately not something people are seeking for very often in a story. I still hope there's a way out somewhere, maybe not for Till, but that would already be something.

As for now, it seems Mizi's role is to manage to make Sua's sacrifice, as well as all of these deaths, worth something. This is the 50th season of Alien Stage. The pile of corpses is leaking red.

I do wonder where the story is going to head.

At the very least, Till wasn't unknown till the end. You could say that being loved, even for a blink, makes one's life worthy to be lived.

[obsessivestar]

Ted but like he takes you xmas shopping and its so jolly and fun and merry i just love ted and i think hes neat :33

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Ted Nivison x gn!Reader

Warnings: Bit o' anxiety at the beginning, one use of Y/N, feminine lingerie spotted

You and Ted had both gotten rather busy throughout the last few weeks. Normally you spread your Christmas shopping out and go on different days throughout the months of November and December, but so many things had gotten in the way for both of you, so you both decided to dedicate an entire day to Christmas shopping for your friends and family, and maybe a little for each other if you got the chance. Where's the best place to go other than your local mall?

Ted drove the both of you to your local mall using his Toyota Tacoma, of course, and managed to get you guys a good spot by the food court entrance so it wouldn't be too much of a walk to get back. Once you get inside the mall, you're immediately hit with the overwhelming bustling atmosphere of a local mall during the holiday rush. There was a giant Christmas tree posted up in the middle of the food court, the ceiling covered in a few different white Christmas lights, though it was midday so they weren't on. There were so many different kinds of people with tons of different bags they were lugging around, all talking over the subtle Christmas music playing throughout the entire mall, walking in slow strides through the thick mall traffic you expected to see. You let all of the pessimistic thoughts run through you now so you wouldn't be miserable laster. God, you're gonna have to walk behind slow people all day. Can't wait to get stuck behind a slow family of 15 walking in a horizontal line, covering the entire lane. The lines are probably gonna be nuts, you might get bumped around by strangers, think of all the bags you're gonna have to carry...

You're snapped out of your pessimistic thoughts by Ted taking your hand into his, pulling you closer to stand at his side. He was probably reading you like a book, he could tell that you were getting a little overwhelmed with everything.

"Hey, I'm right here, alright?" He gives you a reassuring warm smile, caressing the side of your hand with his thumb. "Just stick by me, I've got everything mapped out. We won't be here long.."

His warm smile was definitely reassuring. It was nice to know that he had put some thought into this trip to minimize stress, maybe you would be able to find a way to enjoy this, despite all of the people.

The mall was mostly just one big circle with a few extra hallways, so you knew you'd only be doing one rotation. The first place you goto is a smoothie joint to grab something to drink, wanting something sweet and fruity to boost your spirits. Of course, Ted wouldn't let you pay for your own smoothie. He claimed it was faster for him to get it all on one order so you didn't have to wait for your separate orders. Sometimes it bothered you that he was always so quick to spend money on you, but honestly, you didn't bother arguing with him about it today, it would take too much time.

Your next stop, of course, was a Bath and Body Works for all of those in-laws that were difficult to shop for. This was actually where you started to relax a little more; where you started to enjoy this little adventure with Ted. You spent a majority of your time here sniffing the different candles, debating whether or not to get some body wash or hand sanitizer for home, silently cackling a little at the prices and being a little surprised by their Men's focused section. Bath and Body Works sells Men's cologne? Neat. Maybe you'd grab some here for Ted for his birthday next month.

After buying some candles and body wash for family, your next stop was the GameStop. You came here to shop for a majority of your guy friends, on and off YouTube. You checked out the different games on the back wall, looked at the Funko pops and figurines on the other side, went down the middle aisles to check out the sweaters, shirts and hats and even took a gander at some of the more expensive merch on the too shelves, the shelves you knew you couldn't reach on your own at all. You and Ted had hit the jackpot coming here, going back and forth with each other while showing different things.

"You think Eddy would like this?" Ted walks up and shows you a hat while you were looking over the different figurines. It was a simple cap with the Kingdom Hearts crown on the front. It looked pretty nice. You turn to look at it, raising a curious brow at Ted.

"I mean, I know he likes Kingdom Hearts.." You speak softly, tilting your head a little. "Does Eddy wear hats though?"

You could see the gears turning in Ted's head and he lets out a huff, making you giggle a little. He adjusts all of his stuff under his arm so he can take his phone out and you see he's opening Instagram. You let out a laugh of realization. "Are you checking his Instagram?" You ask with a big grin, furrowing your brows a little. "You have to check his Instagram to know he doesn't wear hats?"

Ted let's out a cheeky little chuckle, but groans when he realizes you were right. "He doesn't wear hats.." Ted sighs, sounding both amused and disappointed. He slips his phone back into his pocket, looking back at the sweatshirt rack. "I think I saw a, uh...Kingdom Hearts sweater back there. That might work."

"Yeah, probably. He'd like that."

You ended up leaving that GameStop with a rather large bag and a new, interesting story you couldn't wait to tell Eddy at the New Years party at the end of the month. You guys move through the curved hall of the mall where all of the phone-related shops are placed and get a moment where you can actually appreciate the holiday atmosphere. There's hardly anyone down this particular hallway so you get to slow your pace a little, walking side by side with Ted, your fingers still comfortably intertwined. The internet and the convenience of online shopping has made Christmas spirit a little harder to feel, especially when you think about how malls like this used to be decorated, but as you begin to walk by the beautifully decorated Mall Santa plaza, Winter Wonderland playing through the old fashioned looking speakers, hearing children call out to their parents with joy and laughter...you could feel it. You could really feel the warm, jolly spirit of Christmas.

You notice that you and Ted had begun to walk to the beat of Winter Wonderland, quiet little smiles on your faces. You turn your head briefly to look at him, and he looks at you, the white Christmas lights making his hazel eyes sparkle in your direction. He looks content; he looks warm and happy to be here with you, and that just makes your smile grow. You feel like you're in a cheesy Christmas film as you both let out a gentle laugh, picking up the pace a little when the mall traffic begins to pick up once again. This is actually really nice. Those pessimistic thoughts from earlier have been completely replaced. You're starting to think about all of the friends and family you'll both get to see, how excited you are to witness their reactions to their gifts, knowing that it all came from the heart, relatively.

You were looking forward to it all, you weren't even thinking about the gifts that you may be getting. Sure, in the back of your mind you were thinking about what Ted would end up nabbing you, but Christmas isn't about the gifts. It's not about one upping toxic members of your family by spending the most money or getting the biggest gift, it's not about hogging all of Christmas dinner, it's about being with the ones you love while you still can. Some people don't always get to see their parents every year, some don't always get to see their aunts, uncles, friends and cousins. That's what makes getting together during the holidays so special, no matter what you're celebrating. You couldn't wait to see Ted's family this year, then getting to see your own. You couldn't wait to eat a great meal with great people, to show family how much your cared and cherished them, to celebrate the end of the year with all of your closest friends. Man, this adventure with Ted was making you sentimental. Christmas spirit, huh...

You are once again snapped out of your thoughts by Ted stopping by a Victoria's Secret to look at some Christmas red Holiday lingerie. He gestures to the garter belt and knowingly raises his brows at you. Ah boy, here we go.

"You're not getting me that.." You slowly shake your head at him, looking him over with a smirk of disbelief.

"Oh yeah? Why not?" Ted smirks back at you, his eyes flicking down to the mannequin that wore the whole fit. "You don't like it?"

"I like it, but it's not worth it." You shook your head once again, keeping yourself outside of the store. "I'm tellin' you, it's not worth it."

"How is it not worth it?" Ted's smirk grows into a suggestive smile. "C'mon babe, looks worth it to me."

"You really gonna buy that just for me to wear it once?"

"Yeah, that's worth it."

"Check the price tag."

"I can afford it, (Y/N)."

"I know, but check it anyways."

Ted let's out a soft huff and glances down at the price tag sticking out of the lingerie. I see his eyes widen and he lets out a scoff.

"It's 140 dollars!?" Ted raises his voice in shock, immediately getting a little embarrassed. You can't hold back your laughter, watching as he nervously covers his mouth and scurries out of the shop, returning to your side.

"You're right, you're right.." Ted groans softly, rushing passed the store with you. "Not worth it."

You continue to laugh until the store is out of sight. Oh he was so right, this has already been so much fun. We start to really get into the spirit of the holidays, making a brief detour into the dollar store to buy bags, wrapping paper and most importantly: matching Christmas hats, though the one you bought ended up being a little big around your head. Ted thought it was cute, occasionally having to pull the hat back by the white pompom to make sure you could see where you were going. At this rate, you're having a great time at the mall. The long lines just gave the two of you an excuse to giggle and joke around before having to pay at the register and return to the mall's main hall.

The last store you ended up hitting was a sort of local hobby shop for those miscellaneous friends and family that liked a little bit of everything. This place sold books, board games, calenders, little trinkets and toys, dice & figurines for DnD, any little obscure thing you wouldn't normally think of was in this store. You and Ted were once again spending more time just looking at and messing with the little trinkets in the store rather than discussing what to buy for whomever. You only split off when you both get distracted by something. You spend way too much time trying to get the high score on a Bop-it toy while Ted was talking to the employees about different board games that interested him, but he never ends up buying any of them. You only end up leaving with a bit of dice and some squishy toys for some of the younger members of your family. You would've bought the Bop-it, if you didn't already have one at home.

Before you know it, you've circled back around to the food court, quite a few bags filled with gifts wrapped around your arms. While you're here, you mind as well get some lunch. You both find a place to sit so you can take turns getting your food. Ted decides to wait with the bags so you could go wait in line first, but he gives you his wallet, because of course he does.

"I can pay for my own food, Ted." You have this knowing grin on your face as you look down at him, placing one hand on your hip with the other holding his wallet out to him.

"I know, but it's Christmas." Ted gently pushes your hand away, insisting that you use his wallet. "You deserve a treat, babe."

"It's not Christmas." You smirked, raising a brow at Ted. "It's Thursday.."

"It's the season of giving! C'monnnn.."

You roll your eyes at his insistence, but again, the sooner you agree to this, the sooner you can go home.

"You're lucky I'm overstimulated.." You huff with a grin, turning away to go get your food.

"Love you too, babe."

You wait in the somewhat long line for your food, order it, get it from the counter and head back to your seat so Ted could get his food. It takes him a lot longer to get back, so at that point, you both decided to take your meals to go and leave out the food court exit. This adventure was definitely a fun one. You got over some anxiety, you bought some great gifts for your friends, many laughs, a new Bop-it highscore and it was all shared with your lovely partner, Ted Nivison. As Ted puts the bags in the backseat, you slip back into his Toyota Tacoma and let out a sigh of relief. You spot him through the rearview mirror, watching him tuck a smaller bag that you didn't recognize into the giant GameStop bag. You glance back at him with a curious smirk and he meets your gaze, a sheepish little smile spreading along his blush-toned lips.

"Did you see that?" He asks, slipping back into the driver's seat.

"That small bag?" Your smirk turns into a knowing grin, getting your seatbelt on. "Oh yeah."

"No you didn't." Ted let's out a deep chuckle as he starts up his truck, smiling at the laugh you let out in response. This guy. This fuckin' guy. You have no idea when or how he could've bought something for you today, or what it even could be. You couldn't think of a single moment where he was out of your sight...

...did he buy that while you were distracted by the Bop-it? Motherfucker--

[gotchibam]

Hey guys, I'd like to apologize for disappearing once again. I seem to end up self-sabotaging myself everytime I try to get back into the swing of things (attempting to do the backlog of comms + doodles, opening patreon). I've been feeling lethargic for some time now & tbh I can't help but remember my mom's situation back then before she got admitted to the hospital. I don't want to go through the same thing so I'm trying my best to pick myself up—even though it's hard. I lost my dad last 2016 then my mom this year & it's just... it's a big blow for me.

I'm sorry if I keep asking for help like this... but I've stretched our budget too thin now since I haven't been able to work on anything. If anyone would like to help, my ko-fi page is open. Any kind of help or support is very much appreciated! 🙏

I'd also like to apologize to those who subscribed to my patreon. I really thought I'd be able to just start right away & draw again like I used to after announcing it here but I thought wrong. I owe you guys a doodle + a drawing session. I can't promise to do them soon but I'll try my best!

Lastly, I've also been thinking of doing an art stream as a thanks for continuing to support me even though I haven't posted art for so long ;_; Nothing fancy, just a simple stream of me drawing on a canvas (I don't have the guts to show my face or talk I'm sorry... 🙈). Tbh it sounds overwhelming but I thought it might help me gain momentum for drawing again. Idek if I'll actually be able to do it, but it's something that's been on my mind for a while now.

I'm sorry again for all this... I'm still a mess atm & so I still keep struggling. But I'm also grateful bc many of you still choose to stay & support me despite the lack of activity. Really though, thank you, thank you so much for still being here ;_; 🙏🙏🙏

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Sleepy Bitch Syndrome: Chapter Nine

Sleepy Bitch Syndrome: You've got narcolepsy and have been visiting the Dreaming daily for years. Then its Lord and King finally return and he doesn't know quite what to think of you.

Warnings: Death, Angst.

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Narcoleptic!Reader, for you dear @aralezinspace.

Word Count: ~2.4k

Previous | Masterlist

Fiddler's Green spreads before you, an expanse of rolling hills and blooming flowers. It's a place of peace and beauty, yet all you feel is an overwhelming emptiness. The colors seem muted, the scents dulled. You find yourself perched on a low branch of an ancient oak tree, staring blankly at the horizon.

"Why did it have to end like this?" you mutter, the sound barely escaping your beak.

Fiddler's Green appears beside you, his form solidifying from the landscape itself. His presence is a comfort, though it does little to lift the heavy fog of depression that clings to you.

"Sometimes," he begins softly, "the paths we tread are not the ones we would have chosen for ourselves."

You look at him, your eyes reflecting your turmoil. "I had so much left to do. So many things I wanted to say." Your voice breaks, the words catching in your throat. To him.

He nods, understanding etched into his features. "It's never easy to accept what has happened. But you must remember that your essence remains here in the Dreaming. You still have a purpose."

"Purpose?" You scoff, flapping your wings in frustration. "What purpose could I possibly have now?"

Fiddler's Green kneels down, bringing himself to eye level with you. His gaze is steady and filled with compassion. "You were always a part of this realm, even before you became one of us. Your presence here has always been significant."

"But it's not the same," you argue, the weight of your new reality pressing down on you.

"No," he agrees softly. "It's not the same. But that doesn't mean it can't be meaningful."

You fall silent, contemplating his words. The sun dips lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the vibrant fields. The tranquility of Fiddler's Green contrasts starkly with the storm raging inside you.

"I just... I don't know how to move forward from this," you admit finally. "I was looking forward to so many things with Morpheus and now— now I'm a bird."

Fiddler's Green's gaze remains unwavering. "Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting what you've lost. It means finding a new way to exist within it."

You close your eyes, breathing in the scents of the Dreaming, trying to draw some strength from the world that once brought you so much solace. "I don't even know where to start."

"Start by allowing yourself to grieve," Fiddler's Green advises gently. "Grief is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the depth of your love and your loss."

The mention of love makes your heart ache. Morpheus' face flashes in your mind—those intense eyes, the way his presence filled every corner of the room, the rare moments of vulnerability he shared with you. You wonder how he's coping with your absence, whether he misses you as much as you miss him.

"Lucienne said I should go to him," you whisper, unsure if you even have the courage to face him now.

"She's right," Fiddler's Green responds, his voice firm but kind. "Morpheus needs to know you're still here, even if not in the form he remembers. You owe it to yourself—and to him—to find out what comes next."

You shake your head, feathers rustling with the motion. "I can't face him like this," you say, voice tinged with a mix of fear and defiance. "I refuse to show him what I've become."

Fiddler's Green sighs, a sound like wind through leaves. "It's not about what you've become, but who you still are."

You hop from the branch, taking to the air with a swift flap of wings. The sky stretches wide and blue above you, but it feels like a cage. You fly aimlessly, avoiding the paths that lead to Morpheus' palace. Each flap of your wings seems to take you further from the courage you once had.

Lucienne finds you perched on a gargoyle overlooking a vast garden. She looks up at you, eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and understanding. "He's worried about you," she says, her voice carrying the weight of her words.

"I know," you respond, barely more than a whisper. "But I can't—"

"He's not as unfeeling as he seems," Lucienne interrupts gently. "You meant more to him than perhaps even he realizes."

Your heart clenches at her words, but the fear remains. "I can't stand the thought of seeing disappointment in his eyes."

"Disappointment?" Lucienne's expression softens further. "He's more likely to feel relief that you're still here in any form."

You want to believe her, but doubt gnaws at you. "What if he sees me as a failure?"

Lucienne shakes her head slowly. "You're not a failure, and he won't see you that way."

You turn your gaze away from her, staring at the distant horizon. "I just need more time."

"Time won't change what needs to be faced," she says softly but firmly. "But I understand your need for it."

You nod, grateful for her patience even if you're not ready to accept it fully.

"Take your time," Lucienne continues. "But don't let fear keep you from what might bring both of you peace."

She leaves you then, walking back toward the library with a grace that belies the heaviness of her heart.

You remain on the gargoyle, watching her retreating figure until she disappears from sight. The silence of the Dreaming surrounds you, a stark contrast to the turmoil within.

Perched high above the garden, you let out a sigh that seems to echo in the vastness around you.

"I'm sorry," you whisper into the wind, unsure if you're speaking to Morpheus or yourself.

For now, facing him feels impossible—but deep down, part of you knows that this isn't something that can be avoided forever.

But today is not that day.

You find yourself lost in thought, perched on a branch in Fiddler's Green. The beauty around you is almost painful, a stark reminder of everything you've lost. You wonder if Morpheus feels the same, if he even misses you. The weight of your new existence presses down on you like a leaden shroud.

Meanwhile, in his palace, Morpheus stands by a window, staring out into the Dreaming with vacant eyes. His normally composed face is etched with lines of sorrow and confusion.

Lucienne watches him from a distance, her heart breaking for him. She finally steps forward, unable to bear his silent suffering any longer.

"My lord," she begins softly.

He doesn't turn to face her but acknowledges her presence with a slight nod. "What is it, Lucienne?"

"Y/N is in Fiddler's Green," she says gently but firmly. You’ve been moping and punishing yourself long enough.

Morpheus' eyes narrow slightly as he processes her words. "I cannot feel their presence," he says, a touch of confusion lacing his usually steady voice. "Not in Fiddler's Green or anywhere in the Dreaming."

Lucienne steps closer, her gaze unwavering. "They are there," she insists. "If you would go and see for yourself, I am sure that your melancholy would lessen."

He shakes his head slowly. "If they are there I do not wish for them to see me like this," he admits, his voice strained.

Lucienne places a hand on his arm, a rare gesture of comfort. "You owe it to yourself—and to them—to see for yourself," she says softly. "They need you now more than ever, just as you need them."

Morpheus closes his eyes briefly, as if summoning strength from deep within. Finally, he nods. "Very well," he murmurs. "I will go."

Lucienne watches as he steps through a portal that leads directly to Fiddler's Green, her heart heavy with hope and worry. You remain on your perch, staring into the distance when you sense a shift in the air. A presence approaches—a familiar one that sends your heart racing and feathers trembling.

Morpheus materializes in Fiddler's Green, his dark silhouette stark against the vibrant backdrop. He looks around, his gaze sweeping over the landscape until it lands on you. His eyes widen slightly as they meet yours—an unreadable expression flickering across his face. You feel a rush of emotions—fear, hope, love—all tangled together in a confusing knot. For a moment, neither of you move.

Finally, Morpheus speaks, his voice soft yet commanding. "Who are you?"

The question hits you like a physical blow. For all your fears about this moment, you'd never imagined he wouldn't recognize you.

Oh gods you make an ugly raven, don't you!

Morpheus' question hangs in the air, a knife poised to strike. You feel the weight of his gaze, sharp and probing, cutting through the layers of your new form. The courage you'd tried to summon evaporates, leaving you exposed and vulnerable.

“Hi Morpheus,” you manage to croak out, your voice a mere whisper carried on the wind. For a moment, disbelief flickers in his eyes, quickly replaced by an intense sorrow. He takes a step closer, and you see the pain etched into every line of his face. He’s never looked so pathetic.

"Y/N?" His voice trembles slightly, an emotion you've rarely heard from him.

"Yeah,” you confirm, your heart aching at the sight of his anguish. "I'm sorry."

He reaches out a hand as if to touch you but stops midway, uncertain. His fingers hover in the air, trembling with restraint.

"How—" he begins but chokes on the word, unable to finish the question.

You flap your wings awkwardly, feeling more exposed than ever. "I had an episode. I fell into a coma and... I guess I died while I was asleep.” Your words come out stilted, each one a fresh wound reopening. “It’s a little muddled.”

Morpheus' eyes close briefly as if trying to absorb the magnitude of your revelation. When he opens them again, they're filled with an unbearable sorrow. "I failed you," he whispers.

"No," you interject quickly. "It wasn't your fault."

He shakes his head, his expression darkening. "I should have protected you."

You want to reach out and comfort him, but your new form makes it impossible. Instead, you let out a mournful caw, hoping it conveys some semblance of your feelings.

"Being here isn't so bad," you say softly, trying to lift some of the weight from his shoulders. "I still get to be in the Dreaming."

You see the determination harden in Morpheus' eyes. It's a look you've seen before—a resolve that bends worlds to his will. A chill runs through your little bird body as he steps closer, his fingers reaching out again. What is he going to do…

"Y/N," he says softly, voice imbued with a power that sends ripples through the Dreaming. "I will change your form. I will restore you to a semblance of what you once were."

Panic surges within you. "No, Morpheus, you can't just do that on a whim!" you protest, your voice cracking with urgency. "This isn't something you can fix with a snap of your fingers."

He halts, his gaze piercing into yours. "Why not? You deserve more than this... prison of feathers and beak."

"It's not about what I deserve," you argue, wings flapping in agitation. "It's about accepting what's happened and finding a way to move forward."

Morpheus' jaw tightens. "I cannot accept this. I cannot lose you in this way." His words are laced with desperation, an emotion so raw it cuts through the air like a knife.

"But changing my form won't change the reality," you insist, trying to make him understand. "I'll still be dead in the Waking World. I'll still be... different. You can’t changing reality just because you don’t like it!”

His eyes soften, but the resolve remains. "You have always been different," he speak. "That is why I cannot bear to lose you."

Before you can protest further, his hand reaches out and touches your feathers. A warmth spreads from where he touches you, enveloping your entire being. You feel a strange sensation, like you're being pulled apart and stitched back together all at once.

"No!" You try to pull away, but his grip is firm. The world blurs around you, colors blending and shifting until you're no longer sure where you end and the Dreaming begins. The sensation intensifies, and for a moment, everything goes dark.

When the world comes back into focus, you're no longer perched on the branch but standing on solid ground. You look down at yourself and see hands—human hands—where feathers used to be. You stagger back, disoriented by the sudden change. Your heart races as you take in your new form—a reflection of your old self but tinged with a dreamlike glow.

"Morpheus," you breathe out, both breathless and horrified.

He stands before you, eyes filled with a mixture of triumph and trepidation. "You see?" he whispers softly. "You are still here, with me.”

Tears well up in your eyes as conflicting emotions flood through you—relief at feeling somewhat human again but also an overwhelming sense of loss for what was taken from you without consent. Being a bird wasn’t all bad.

"I really want to slap you," You grouse at him. He doesn't blink at your words, reveling in the sight you once again in his realm.

"If that is what you wish, you may do so without fear of repercussion," the Endless has the balls to inform you, presenting his cheek. You want to grind your teeth together in exasperation, but you can't seem to stay mad at him. A sigh escapes your lips.

“That was a very stupid thing to do,” you mutter weakly, but the conviction in your voice wavers as he reaches out and gently cups your face.

“Perhaps not,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “But I could not bear to see you suffer and I do not wish to exist without you by my side..”

The warmth of his touch makes you quiver and tremble in place, and for a moment, all the anger and confusion melts away. You’re left with a raw, aching need—a need to feel connected to him again.

"I'm still angry at you," You inform him, lifting your chin. Your face betrays your words and he can see it. A moment goes by with you staring into his eyes, wondering what would happen now, then his hand pulls your lips to his and he kisses you. Right on the mouth. In front of Fiddler's Green. You forget to care and kiss back.

Responding instinctively, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him closer. The kiss deepens, growing more urgent as the world around you fades away. In this moment, there is only Morpheus—his warmth, his intensity, his love.

When you finally break apart, both of you are breathing heavily. His forehead rests against yours as he gazes into your eyes. The stars in his eyes are blazing with vibrant elation.

“I missed you,” he admits softly, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Tears well up in your eyes at his words and your shoulders slump in final resignation. “I missed you too,” you confess, the raw honesty of the moment breaking down any remaining walls you have tried to hold up.

Date Published: 9/4/24

Last Edit: 9/4/24

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