#I've seen my best friend crying every day and heard her sobbing every night because of her break up just a few days before our finals

[barcalover86]

My heart can't take it 2- Pablo Gavi

The first part here - is one of my favourite fanfiction of him

Masterlist

Finally, I managed to end this one. It's been some time, and I'm sorry for the wait, but I wanted to write it in the right way and to give you a well-deserved ending. Thank you for your messages and unconditional support! I see every request of you, and seeing that you want me to write your ideas makes me the happiest! Have a nice day, love yourself, and enjoy this! Love to all of you!🫵

I couldn't answer to only one of you because it wouldn't have been fair, so I tried to mention all of you here and announce you whenever it's ready.

I've been writing this for days..

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'Que las noches sin ti duelen'

"How many times do we have to listen to this song, Pedri?"

"What? You don't like it?" he turned to look at his friend who was next to him in the car.

"It's not like I don't like it, I just got bored of it"

Pedri laughed.

"Are you sure that's the reason?" he teased.

"Ok, end it here" Gavi said before the two of them sat silent in the car, while the music was still on.

Pedri was taking Gavi home again after the training. It was already 5 p.m. and tomorrow, they have to do some videos about the new Barca kit, so the moment Gavi went to his house, he went directly to his bathroom to take another shower.

"Why is he showering again?" his sister questioned her mom, being concerned about her little brother. He already showered after his training in the changing room with his teammates.

Her mom remained silent until she decided to continue the conversation.

"It doesn't seem like he is good. Are you sure you don't know what happened to him?"

Of course, she knows. He's been acting weird since the night their friend groups went together on the beach. She knew that you were the reason for his sadness. She stayed with the boy all night while he was crying in her arms. He never told the reason, nor did she asked, because as his older sister, she knows when Pablo is suffering towards a girl. Although, Aurora never told their mom this thing. She respected her brother's privacy.

"No" she just answered simply, before going to her room to not continue this subject.

It was true that Pablo Gavi was showering more lately, which doesn't seem so weird until you question yourself about it. He stays hours in his bathroom.

Crying.

He hadn't seen you since that day and it had been almost 4 weeks. He missed you a lot, and he had no one to talk to. He knew that his sister would be mad at him for falling in love with her friend, who didn't even talk to him, and Pedri.. he was going to make fun of him. He had to keep it all to himself, and the emotions sometimes got him. Crying while people think that he's showering was the best idea that came into his mind. Like that, his family wouldn't hear his sobs.

He didn't eat.. not yet. Aurora started to get more concerned, so she knocked at his door.

"Mami made you some pollo con arroz, want to come down to the kitchen to eat?" she asked hoping for a positive answer.

"Maybe later, gracias"

She barely heard him, but it was enough to know that his voice wasn't his normal one.

"Estas bien, hermanito?"

"Si"

That si had to be a strong word, but it only came from his mouth as a sob.

His sister felt like someone had just broken her heart. Hearing her brother at the edge of crying was something so hurtful. Pablo was one of the sweetest guys, and he doesn't deserve anything that could make him sad.

She waited a few seconds after talking again, trying to find the perfect way to say what she wanted.

"Come here, Pablo"

"Come outside, I know you aren't showering right now. Let's meet in the kitchen in 10 minutes. You have to eat and we to talk. I'm gonna tell our parents to leave, we'll be alone."

After that, Aurora left.

She managed to find a reason for their parents to go out of the house, and when Pablo came and sat on the chair that was in front of her, her heart broke again.

His eyes were red and puffy. The boy clearly had been crying for hours!

She didn't say anything more, only went to him and hugged him. Tight. Pablo returned the hug, trying so hard not to cry in front of his older sister. He accidentally escaped some sobs, but Aurora didn't mind. She hugged him until he calmed down completely.

"You have to tell me what is happening to you, Pablo. This is something serios"

"It's nothing, Rora."

"I know you, Gavira" she said with a serious face.

"I am just scared that the next season I won't play that much" he lied

"Oh, you're getting on my nerves. I really want to help you, but if you keep lying to me, then we won't go anywhere. I won't get mad, I promise you."

"I..I really like one of your friends," he said after some time.

"Go on" she encouraged him.

"And she doesn't give me attention at all. We barely even talked, and I'm sure that she doesn't feel the same way as me. She doesn't even look at me as a friend."

"Y/n, right?"

He started to panick at the thought that she knew.

"I'm so -" he wanted to apologise until he was interrupted again.

"It's ok, Pablo. No worries, ok? It's not your fault that you like her-"

"Kinda love her," he said sadly before turning his head to another direction, afraid not to cry again.

Aurora smiled. Pablo Gavi was never this soft. He was a sweety, of course, but she never saw his little brother like that, and she kinda likes the idea of having you even closer.

"You don't have to worry about me, hermanito. Go talk more to her and I'm sure she will like you. You are a great boy, and let's be serious. Who wouldn't fall in love with you?"

They both laughed.

The next day, Aurora invited her friends to their house.

------

"Will Pablo stay with us?" asked one of Aurora's friends.

"Yes, he has some plans to do," she said, and they all looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

She just winked at them and then started laughing.

"Ohh, he is in love, isn't him?" You finally spoke after being quiet for a while.

"Oh, you wouldn't know," answered his sister before you borrowed your eyebrows, confused.

You decided not to say anything anymore, but you felt some pain in your chest, and when you saw Gavi walking past you to sit on the couch near some girl, your heart felt like it just had broken. Your eyes couldn't not look into his.

He wasn't looking at you. Of course, he wouldn't. He is a famous football player, he is for sure in love with some influencer or with a beautiful lady that has the perfect body.

The truth is that he wasn't looking at you because he knew that if he would, he couldn't stop moving his eyes away from you. He knew that if he saw you, even for a second, he would lose control. He couldn't even stand the fact that you were there, far but so close to him.

Aurora saw you looking intense at her brother, so she decided to help both of you.

"Hermanitoo, come here a second, por fa"

"What?" answered the boy after standing up while going near his sister.

"If you really want to stay with us, then we should play something together. God knows when we will stay together again like this. We have to enjoy every minute!"

"What game?"

"Truth or dare!"

"Oh, I'm not playing that stupid game of yours"

"Then you won't stay with us"

Everyone was cheering for Gavi to play, but the only thing that made him not go was you. He really wanted to stay with you. He even sat down beside you, really, really close to another.

The truth is that you hate this game. You never enjoyed playing it, but this time, you felt like you wanted to stay.

You feared that something was to happen, and when it really happened, you couldn't do anything but panick hard. Of course, Aurora would ask you something like this after you said dare.

"I dare you to kiss my brother!"

"What-no"

"It's a dare, y/n"

You argued a lot with his sister, and you didn't even realise when Pablo turned your face into his, and he touched your lips with his. The kiss was everything you've ever imagined, and it was the best one you've ever had.

When you looked into his eyes, nothing was coming out of your mouth. You couldn't love this boy, could you? He barely even talked to you.

Gavi, on the other side, was the happiest that he finally managed to do that, and he for sure winked after to his sister as a "thank you". She only returned his smile, being happy for the both of you.

You didn't say anything until it was late and you decided to go home.

Pablo somehow excused himself, finding a way to be only with you. He didn't even know where this courage came from, but he was so thankful for it.

"I'm sorry you had to kiss me" you finally spoke.

"It was just a game after all, it didn't mean anything"

Oh, and how stupid he was for saying that. Full regret starting to feel in all of his body.

You couldn't say anything. You froze there, not being able to leave the room.

You knew he didn't feel the spark that you felt. Even yourself couldn't believe that this past weeks all you thought about was him. The moment he kissed you, your heart felt like it healed and was the best feeling you've ever felt in a while. You felt alive and.. happy.

He knew he fucked everything up.

"I'm so-"

"It's ok. Really. Like, I get it!"

"What-"

"No, like- I get it you don't.. like me. I get it that you don't even want to.. talk to me? See me? I completely understand you. Maybe I would ruin your career if people see us together. Maybe-"

"Para!"

"Maybe you just stood with us, because your girlfriend couldn't meet you today or-"

"Y/n, para!!"

You did anything other than stop yourself from talking.

"And I can't even believe myself how I managed to be like the other girls. To.. start to like you and-"

"You what?"

Now you only stopped, just because you realised that you said it out loud. It was like you admitted yourself to what you feel for him.

You started to panick and quickly got out of his house, with him following you.

"No, wait!"

He managed to take your hand and stop you.

"You like me?" he said softly with tears in his eyes.

"No, it's just-"

"Dime la verdad, y/n"

He had hope in his eyes.

"Por favor.."

You looked at him. You just couldn't stay there and lie to him. Lie to those pretty eyes.

"I don't even believe myself for this-"

"Tell me!"

"Joder, yes! Yes, I like you!"

He smiled.

"I can't believe this."

"Lo siento, Gavi. I know you-"

"No! Don't say anything anymore. You know nothing. You have no idea how long I wanted to hear you say it. To hear that you like me."

He looked into your eyes and smiled.

"Can I kiss you..please.." he finally found the courage to say it.

You were shocked. Completely shocked.

He laughed at your face, but knew that you wanted it so he did it. He kissed you.

This time, it was different. It didn't feel like it was something rushed. It was slow, full of love and adoration.

"I've liked you for so long, you have no idea. Now, can I finally call you mine, amor?"

You smiled widely.

"Por supuesto!"

I hope I didn't disappoint you with this one..

I have so many ideas of how could I have continued this, but it would have been too long, but I could make a part 3???

When they say "I love you" for the first time or when they introduce their relationship to their friends and families?

I can also do one where we have y/n's version of the story????

What do you say about it?

Shall be a part 3 to this one??

Thank you for the waiting, and thank you if you are reading this. It means a lot to me that you also read this part and took some time of yours to enjoy my stories. I wish you a nice day and don't forget.. love yourself!!

I have a request that asks him "Jealous Gavi," so it will be out soon. I hope that it will be really soon done. I'm working on it

Reminder:

@its-astrotea-love

@rens-daylight

@http-isabela

@madelineorionswan

@lilians17

@gavisuntiedboot

@barackosteaa

@magdis-things

@iheartgavi

@coco657

@httpskay

[multi-writer]

hi! love ur writing :) i was just wondering if there will be a sequel to this like how steve living his life now that shes gone? thankyou sending lots of love xx

Dancing with your ghost (Tolerate It Pt. 3)

Steve Harrington x Reader - Angst

Pt. 1: Tolerate it

Pt. 2: “So Close”

Summary: After your death Steve tried to continue with his life, but it is very difficult considering that everything reminds him of you and he cannot stop visiting you.

A/N: I'm finally back, and with angst because I like to cry for fictional characters lol. I've been late because I might also do a version with a happy ending (and because, if you haven't noticed, I do this kind of fics based on songs I love and I think it would fit with what's happening in the fic, but I´m also spending hours listening and remembering the lyrics to make it perfect). Thanks for the request!

Based on: Dancing with your Ghost - Sasha Alex Sloan

Warning: Main character death, angst, sadness

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Yellin´ at the sky

Screamin at the world

Baby, why´d you go away?

Steve's footsteps were all that could be heard against the pavement, the loneliness he found himself in was the best company he could count on, a small bouquet of white flowers remained in his hand as he walked up the hill.

It has been weeks since you left, Steve's eyes still filled with tears as he remembers holding you in his arms as he slowly carried you out of the house, the heavy breathing of the boys could be contrasted with the sobbing of the girls. Every night Steve remembers your mother's screams as she held you in her arms trying to wake her little girl, your father holding Steve tightly as he shook him.

How could he not save his daughter?

Steve also asked himself the same question every day, maybe if he had paid more attention he would have seen the signs, maybe if he had stopped to talk to you he could have saved you, maybe…

The man shook his head trying to push those thoughts away. Robin had said that it wasn't healthy, that it would only hurt him even more. She was the only one who had visited Steve after what had happened.

Arriving at the place he was looking for, Steve just sat down on the grass and passed the flowers from one hand to the other trying to control his anxiety, ran his tongue over his dry lips and began to speak.

Never got the chance

To say a last goodbye

I gotta move on

But it hurts to try

The words came naturally from the man's lips, even in these moments you had the gift that let Steve open his soul and tell you everything he was thinking and feeling.

"Sorry I'm late, I've been helping the town with donations, there are still many missing but no one has given up on finding them yet, there is still hope" Steve commented as a greeting.

"You know? Max still cries for you, she can't help but feel guilty even when the guys already told her it was your decision..." The man's brown eyes became crystalline as he took a ragged breath. "She lost a sibling again after all."

Steve ran his hand over his face trying to wipe away the drops falling from his eyes, the scent of flowers permeating between his fingers.

"Every night I listen to the cassettes you left at my house the last time you went over. I can't help but think that if I listen to them long enough you're going to walk in the door like nothing happened" A quiet chuckle comes from the man as he hears his thoughts coming to life through his voice.

You weren't coming back.

"Robin and Vicky are finally dating, Rob says they are just friends but you and I know better, when something happens I promise to come and tell you" Steve smiled at the thought of how much you would love to hear all about the girls. "Your parents are moving out of Hawkins, they can't bear the thought of being here without their daughter...I can't be without you either" He commented as his smile faded and sobs replaced his laughter.

Steve brought his hand back up to his face and hid your mouth behind it in a sad attempt to quiet his moans.

How do I love, how do I love again?

How do I trust, how do I trust again?

"I miss you so much (y/n), there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss everything about you, everywhere I turn I can see you, I can't be at home without thinking of you, I can't be with the kids without breaking down in tears remembering you with them, I swear I try to live but you left an imprint on my life impossible to erase" The man took a big breath of air and continued. "Why did you do it? Why didn't you tell us? We would have come up with a plan, I would have stayed with you to protect you, I would have run faster to be with you, to save you..."

The man's sobs were impossible to hide. Steve had been through so much these past few years and could not take it anymore, he too has suffered for a long time and had finally reached a limit. After all he is human too.

"How much I would give for you to be here, to exchange your place, to hug you one more time, to kiss you one more time" commented Steve in a low voice while he looked at his hands, in one of them were the white flowers he had brought, without more to say he put them in front of the tombstone with your name together with the ones he had brought a few days ago and stood up while he put his trembling hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"I promise not to take long to visit you again, I'll come as fast as I can, okay? Don't forget that I love you, I never stopped loving you. I'll try to bring the cassettes so we can listen to them together" Steve took one of his hands to bring it to his lips and leave a small kiss and then put his hand gently on the tombstone. "I miss you so much (y/n)" The man mumbled like a little kid, then turned around and walked back to his car with pain in his heart.

I put the record on

Wait ´til I hear our song

Every night I´m dancing

With your ghost

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A/N: Well, I tried to stick with the ask as much as I could, more than anything I wanted to emphasize that Steve has been through a lot and that it is necessary for him to get everything out. it's something you don't see in the series and it's necessary to remember. It's small but I think it's what Steve would do.

I hope you like it and I'll try not to disappear so much, college is consuming my life lol.

tags: @lettyshush@ilovetaylorswift1@hcloangcls@obsessed-with-a-fictional-man

[zafirosreverie]

I already had it all (Carla x reader)

For @midnight-lestrange i hope you like it!

a/n: i didn't put the smut scene here because this was already too long. But let me know if you want me to write it!

a/n 2: I...I really didn't watch Ty's scenes. I just skipped them so, I'm sorry if this was OOC for him. But I won't apologise for anything else bc we all know Carla deserved a girlfriend.

#GiveCarlaAGirlfrendChallenge

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

You rolled your eyes and sighed when Carla came into the house crying. You didn't even ask, you already knew the story.

Isis looked at her daughter, then at you and subtly took her grandson's arm to leave you two alone. Jackson didn't even bother to look at his mom as he got up. They said goodbye to you before disappearing into their rooms. You didn't turn to the woman until you saw Jackson close his door.

Carla looked at you for a moment, feeling like a stranger in her own home.

"What did he do now?" you said.

Usually, you'd run to her side, hug her, and let her cry for a while while she sobbed and told you whatever it was that made her fight with Ty at the time. God, how you hated that man.

Not only did he have an amazing woman like Carla at his feet, but he also had the door open for a beautiful (if a bit messy) family. And the only thing that seemed to matter to him was how good was his girlfriend in bed.

Hell, the guy hadn't even bothered to properly introduce himself to the son of the woman he was fucking!! Isis had told you how he had shown up at Christmas, making out with Carla while Jackson just waved from the table.

It made you want to throw up.

Although, the woman was not helping either. Carla was your best friend, she had been for years! She was the first to welcome you to the spa, the one who made you laugh at your worst and made you do stupid things when she took you to the bar.

You loved spending time with her.

But Ty...he had changed her. You didn't want to be unfair to him, but since he hadn't bothered to introduce himself to you either, you'd still hate him. Well...you would hate him even if he turned out to be a nice guy, because he had what you couldn't.

You weren't sure exactly when you started falling in love with your best friend, but you did. For months you had become aware of how much you loved her, how much you wanted to be with her at every possible moment, how butterflies flooded your stomach when you heard her laugh, how your cheeks would blush when you were too close to her. You loved everything about her.

And everything that came with the woman. You got along wonderfully with Isis, who was seriously trying to be a better mother to her daughter. And you couldn't even begin to describe the love you felt for Jackson. That boy was a treasure! And it broke your heart that most seemed to prefer to ignore him.

"Y/N, are you even listening to me?" Carla's voice brought you back to the present.

"No" you admitted, looking straight at her "Not really"

Carla looked at you as if you had grown another head. She didn't expect you to say that. The woman didn’t know what was happening with you lately, you were usually tender, kind and supported her in everything. But in the last few weeks, you have become more distant and cold.

Although only with her. It seemed that the further you got away from Carla, the closer you got to Isis. She didn't want to admit it, but she felt a pang of jealousy and fear that her mother was stealing her...her best friend. It didn't make a lot of sense, but...

"Break up with him" you said suddenly

"What?" she blinked

"Break up with Ty" you repeated "Carla, he's not good for you. He's hurting you."

"That is not true"

"Then why did you come crying?" you crossed your arms

"You would know if you had listened to me" she told you, crossing her arms too

"I'm not talking about just now and we both know it" you said "This has been going on for weeks Carla!"

"It's not true" she insisted

"It's a routine at this point. You go out with him, disappear for hours, Jackson calls me to go get him, I stay here until you come back with tears in your eyes, I listen to you, you ‘break’ with him for a few days and then he smiles and you fall again. We all know the routine Carla! Isis doesn't even risk burning the kitchen anymore! She just waits until I get home to make dinner"

"Mom dines with you?" she asked, feeling that terror and jealousy build up inside her.

"And with Jackson" you reminded her.

"Since when?"

"Since you started ditching them for Ty, but that's not the point!" you frowned "The point is that you are no longer you, Carla, and it's his fault"

"That is not true!" she growled "I'm as me as ever"

"No" you said to her "The Carla I knew loved herself, wanted to rebuild a relationship with her mother and loved her son above everything else. The Carla I knew made jokes about Jackson, but it was to prevent others from doing it. My Carla would never have let a man make her cry. "

The woman froze a bit when you called her "My Carla." The heat in her chest returned, like every time you said something nice about her.

"Y/N-"

"No" you interrupted her "You're going to listen to me Dunkler! Because I'm sick of seeing you arrive like this! I'm sick of that idiot using you for your body and you letting him. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe he really feels something for you, but until he does a better job proving it, I won't change my mind. I'm also sick of seeing him take you away from your family. You said you wanted a better relationship with your mother, but Isis hasn't seen you properly in days. Ty hasn't even tried to get closer to Jackson, the SON of the woman he supposedly loves, to get to know him better! "

Carla looked at you in surprise. This was a whole new side. You have never lost your cool this way. And she hated herself for finding it a little hot.

"He's the only one who has really stayed with me for more than one night, Y/N" she said weakly. She knew it was a terrible reason, but it was the truth.

"So you will just let him do what he wants because you're afraid of being alone?!" you asked incredulous

"No! I-I really like him!" she said but it felt like a huge lie and that...that surprised her

"It's not fair Carla" you continued "It is not fair that you offer him all this! It is not fair that he has at his disposal a child as wonderful as Jackson and a mother-in-law as great as Isis. It is not fair that he has such a wonderful woman like you, a beautiful, hardworking and brave woman. He doesn't deserve you "

"You keep saying that because you don't know what it's like to be alone for so long! You don't know what it's like to feel like you're not enough for anyone!"

"I DO!" you yelled

"No you don't!" she yelled back at you "You are so perfect and cute and you have everyone at your feet! You can have whoever you want! So no, you don't know what it's like not to be enough for someone!"

"I do it because I've never been enough for you!" you growled "Because you've never seen me as anything more than a friend! And I hate you for that! I hate you because you come and flirt with me and then you go with him! I hate you because you gave him everything I've ever wanted! I hate him because he has what I can't have! AND I HATE YOU BECAUSE I CAN'T REALLY HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN LOVE YOU AND YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE IT!!!"

Carla froze in her place, staring at you. Her mind had gone blank. It took you a few moments to realize what you had said and you gasped as the realization hit you. You had confessed your feelings to her in the worst possible way. Shit.

"...I'd better go" you said hastily

You took your bag and took advantage of the fact that the woman still looked surprised to quickly pass her, almost running out of the house and to your car.

Carla just watched you go, not knowing what to do or what to think. What the fuck had just happened?

_________________

You cried all the way home. You cursed yourself a thousand times for being such an idiot. How could you do that? You had promised to always be there for her and now you had ruined everything! There was no way in the world that Carla could forgive you for this.

_________________

"Still here?" Isis asked, making her daughter jump "You've been staring at the wall for the last hour."

Carla frowned and turned her gaze away.

"Come on, get your fucking ass up and do something!" Isis insisted

"About what?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me. Jackson and I heard everything."

"What? Did you spy on us?" Carla asked a little angry

"Of course not! Your screams were heard throughout the house. I'm sure the neighbors heard too"

Carla blushed and looked at the ground before taking another gulp of her beer. Isis rolled her eyes and snatched it away.

"Ey!"

"Get out of here!"

Carla sighed "What do you want me to do? All that doesn't change anything"

"You're a terrible liar" the older woman scoffed "You've been drowning in your own misery since before I came back. You settled for that idiot just to not be left alone and now that you have a chance to have someone better, you will stay here getting drunk? I'm disappointed "

"Disappointed? It's something you would do yourself" Carla scoffed

"It's not true" Isis said, not bothered by her daughter's words "I would at least fuck her first"

"Mom!"

"What? She's pretty, she has a good body and-"

"Stop it! I don't need to hear my mother talk about how sexy my best friend is"

"Then pick up your sorry butt and go get her" she said, smiling at her daughter's jealous tone "You have the key to her house, use it"

"Mom-"

"I'll keep talking about her body if you don't. Did you know that she has a couple of moles near her right boobie? I loaned her a blouse once and-"

"And I'm leaving" Carla jumped up, taking her keychain

"I'm staying with Jackson, don't come back later" Isis winked

_____________________

You frowned when you heard the front door open. You were sure you had locked it. Your heart raced and you felt fear wash over you as you came out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around your body.

You grabbed a baseball bat that was near your bedroom door (thank goodness you were training with Jackson) and walked slowly down the hall to the living room.

"Y/N?"

You froze before frowning.

"Carla? What are you doing here?"

The woman looked you up and down and you blushed when her eyes stopped for a moment on your chest. She cleared her throat before speaking again.

"I wanted to talk to you but maybe I should wait until you don't have a bat in your hand" she teased lightly

You noticed that you were still holding the wooden stick tightly in your hand. Blushing even more, you leaned it against the wall. When you turned around again, you saw that your friend had approached and she was a few inches from you. You swallowed audibly.

All the way here, Carla had thought and gone over the words she would say to you, she had planned a whole speech for you, and god knows she hated speeches. But she had got her entire cassette erased by seeing you like this.

It was the first time she had admitted to herself that she really found you attractive. A part of her began to wonder if the whole Ty thing hadn't also been in part not to acknowledge her feelings for you.

"Carla?" you mumbled after a while 

"Sorry" she jumped a little "I-"

"No, no. I'm sorry" you said "You didn't have to come here to tell me to stay away. You could have sent a message-"

"Why would I tell you to stay away?" she asked with a frown.

You blinked. An hour and she had already forgotten what you had said? You should be grateful, but it honestly hurt you.

"What I said at your house, I...I shouldn't have done it" you sighed

"So it wasn't true?" she asked carefully "Was everything you said a lie?"

"No!" You almost screamed "I just...it wasn't the way and I- I didn't mean to-"

Carla smiled slightly as she watched you babble in front of her. God, how had she not realized how adorable you were? Your lower lip was even trembling.

But she knew you. She knew that once you got flustered and started babbling, there was no stopping you. And she didn't have the time for that, no matter how beautiful you looked doing it. So she only had one option.

You gasped when your friend pounced on you, pressing you against the wall and kissing you deeply. Her hands immediately went to your hips and you moaned against your will when she pressed her chest against yours.

It took you a few moments to recover, but you wrapped your arms around her neck when you did, returning the affection. You didn't know what would happen when you’d ran out of air and had to talk, but to hell with that. You would enjoy the fact that she was kissing you, as you had wanted for so long.

If there was one thing Carla hated more than people themselves, it was having to talk about her feelings, especially this kind. So when you broke the kiss, her mouth immediately traveled to your neck.

You moaned a little when you felt her tongue on your skin. You wanted to continue, you needed to feel her, let her take you right there, but there was still a hideously rational part of you. So you pushed her gently, making her look at you.

"I love you" you whispered "...but I can't be another one of your one night stands"

The woman's heart broke a little when she looked into your eyes. She saw the fear you were feeling, but she also saw love. Love directed at her. No one had ever looked at her like that, not her ex husband, not Ty, no one.

"You aren’t" she promised

"Carla-"

"I swear you are not" she interrupted you. Suddenly, her brain seemed to wake up and the words she had practiced in the car fell out of her mouth "I'm sorry it took me so long, I'm sorry I was so stupid. I was so afraid of being alone, of not deserving of anyone, that I ended up accepting the first thing I could. But now I know that I love you "

"You're lying" you whispered "You...don't feel that way about me"

"I do" she promised

"And why didn't you say anything before?"

"I was scared. I took you for granted, because you were always there for me, no matter what. I ignored my heart, the butterflies in my stomach, the jealousy when I saw you too close to my mother. I didn't want to admit how I felt about you. And I didn't realize that I already had everything I ever wanted in front of me. I'm sorry. "

You looked into her eyes, searching for any trace of lies or mockery. But you didn't find it. She was telling the truth, she reciprocated your feelings.

You smiled at her and pulled her to you for another deep kiss. This time it was she who moaned against your mouth. The two of you poured all your feelings into that kiss, all the tension that you didn't even know had built up between you two.

Carla pulled away and felt a twinge of pride when she saw your swollen lips and the blush that ran from your cheeks to your neck. God you were beautiful.

"Carla I-"

"Shhh, no" she shut you up "you know I suck at this and that I hate romanticism. I already used up what little self-control I had"

You laughed a bit and she wiped away the tears you didn't even know had started to fall down your cheeks. She kissed you again and her hands lifted the towel a little over your thighs.

"Carla-"

"My mother has unsettlingly clear ideas about your body" she said abruptly "Something about lending you a blouse?"

"Oh...that" you laughed nervously "Yeah.. maybe I tried it on in front of her" you admitted

"Well, thank you very much, now I have to live with the knowledge that my mother has seen more of my girlfriend's body than I have."

"Girlfriend?" you smirked

Carla froze. Her cheeks quickly turned red and her eyes couldn't meet your face.

"I-I, w-well, I mean, m-maybe I should have waited a little longer, I-I just thought that-"

You cut her adorable and nervous babbling with a deep kiss that she happily returned.

"Take me to bed, then we discuss the status of our relationship" you said

"Deal"

_________________________

Isis smirked behind her beer when Carla groaned as you and Jackson yelled at her to run. She had no idea how you had managed to convince her to play with you, but here you were.

She suspected that it had little to do with being a "good mother to her son" and more to do with the shorts you were wearing. Either way, Isis was happy that her daughter found what she had been searching for so long.

You laughed when your girlfriend came back to your side with the ball in her hand. Her face was red from exhaustion and she was already sweating. She grunted a little but you pecked her lips to calm her down.

"I really hate this game" she muttered

"It doesn't matter, your girlfriend and your son love it. You'll get used to it" you joked.

You were about to kiss her again when you saw a figure walking towards you. You frowned and your grip tightened on the bat. Carla looked at you confused before following your gaze. She froze when she saw Ty walking towards you two with a bouquet of roses.

"I guess we got to the part where you forgive him" you whispered.

She looked at you and frowned. She intertwined her fingers with yours and kissed you on the cheek.

"Never again" she promised you.

You smiled at her and the two of you waited for Ty to be in front of you. The man looked at Carla, then at your hands and then back at Carla, completely ignoring you.

"We can talk?" He asked her

"No" she answered firmly

"Listen Carla, I made a mistake-"

"Me too" she cut him off "I made the mistake of being with you. To forgive you several times when I knew you would fail me again. No more. Get out of here"

"But-"

"You listened to the lady, buddy. Get out!" You grunted.

"Uh...and you are?" he asked, finally looking at you.

You felt his eyes run up and down your body, stopping a little on your legs. It made you want to throw up and by the way Carla squeezed your hand, you knew she hadn't liked it either. Not one bit.

"My girlfriend" she told him

"Girlfriend?" he scoffed "I thought you didn't want to see more vagi-"

You pointed the bat at his face before he could finish the sentence.

"Unlike you, I know how to use this" you growled "Get out of here before I use your head as a ball"

"You wouldn't" he smiled at you "Hey, there's no need to fight, you two are beautiful and I'm fabulous. Why don't we just put this in bed and be happy?"

You were about to insult him when Carla took the bat from you and used it to hit him hard in the balls. The man doubled over in pain before falling to the ground. You didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad for him.

"This butt is mine" Carla growled, releasing your hand and grabbing one of your buttocks to draw you closer to her "And nobody else's. If you get close to me or my family again, I'm going to hit a home run with your balls"

You held back your laughter and let her drag you out of there, leaving the poor man lying on the ground.

Carla yelled something about going for ice cream, causing Jackson to run to the car. Isis, unlike you, laughed the whole way. You smiled and took one last look at the roses that were now on the ground.

“That was hot” you whispered to her. Carla smiled and pecked your lips.

Her hand never left your ass until you got in the car.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

KH’s tags: @midnight-lestrange​ @emilyprentissslut @mochiadria

[albertasunrise]

It's Yours - Chapter 1

Summary: You and Javier have been sleeping together for almost two years but after his name was leaked by the papers, he is sent home for investigation. You remain behind with Steve to catch Escobar but when he’s finally dead, you decide to go after the man you’ve fallen for. You don’t like what you find when you finally reunite with him.

Warnings: Angst, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy 18+

Relationships: Javier Peña x Reader

~

Your nails dig into the strong muscles on his back as he thrusts his hips at a maddening pace, teeth sinking into your shoulder as he chases his release. It was your last night together and you weren’t going to let him go without feeling him one last time and he couldn’t leave without one final taste of you. Pulling his head back his dark, lust-blown, eyes lock with yours and he lets out a primal growl as he feels your walls start to tighten around him.

‘You going to cum for me?’ He asks, in a low tone as he angles his hips so that he’s hitting that toe-curling spot over and over.

‘Yes.’ You moan ‘Fuck.’

You cum hard, screaming his name as tears leak from the corner of your eyes and you pull him right along with you. He collapses beside you, chest heaving as he fights to catch his breath and you chuckle as you roll onto your side to look at him. You both remain silent for a short while, revelling in your post-sex bliss as the sounds of the city drift through the open window.

‘You need to quit smoking.’ You say as you place a loving kiss on his shoulder.

‘I think you may be right Hermosa.’ He replied with a breathy laugh as he turned his head to look at you 'But I don't need to start tonight.' He sniggers as he lights one and takes a long toke, blowing the smoke away from you.

‘What time is your flight tomorrow?’ You ask, smiling sadly at him.

‘A little after 12.’ He replies, turning his head back towards the textured ceiling.

‘Do you need a lift?’

‘Murphy’s driving me.’ He replies coldly, not looking at you as he speaks.

‘Right.’ You roll out of his bed and start to collect your clothes, grabbing his attention.

‘What are you doing?’ He asks, his stomach sinking at the sight of you getting ready to leave.

‘Getting dressed so I can go home.’ You state plainly as you scan the floor for your shirt ‘Isn’t that how it works? We fuck and then go our separate ways?’

‘Can you stay?’ He asks and you look at him in surprise ‘Just for tonight.’ He paused as he gave you a wounded expression ‘Please.'

‘Okay.’

You left early in the morning, taking one last glance at his sleeping form before turning to leave. You knew it was wrong of you to just go, but your heart was aching at the knowledge that he was leaving you and you had to stay behind to finish what he's started. He deserved to see this to the end. Sure he'd made mistakes but he made them for the right reasons. Sometimes you have to do bad things to catch bad people as he would say.

~

One month later…

Staring up at the departures board you see your flight listed just below Murphy’s and you glance at your partner who stood at your side, watching you curiously.

‘What Murphy?’ You grumble as you let out an exasperated huff.

‘You’re going to Texas?’

‘Yes.’

‘Because you felt like a change or because that’s where Javi is?’

‘I have family there. I have a ton of leave to take so decided to visit them.’ You lie, shrugging your shoulders ‘Since my parents died, my aunt and uncle are the only family I have left.’

Murphy looks away guiltily. You’ve fooled him. Good.

'What will you do when you get back to Miami?'

'Hold my wife and daughter.' He states as he smiles at the thought of them 'I've missed out on so much.'

'Connie loves you, Steve. She'll be overjoyed to have you back.' You say sweetly as you give him a genuine smile.

'I hope so.' He replies, giving you a slight nod.

You look at the departures board again and see that your flight's terminal is nowhere near your partners so you turn to Murphy and prepare to say goodbye.

‘It’s been a pleasure Stevo.’ You say with a smile as you hug him tightly.

‘Don’t be a stranger.’ He replies, giving your arm a friendly squeeze.

‘I won’t.’ You give him one last hug and then head your separate ways.

'Say hi to Javi for me.' He shouts over his shoulder and you can't help the smile that crosses your lips.

When you finally reach your gate, you take a seat on one of the thinly padded benches and pull out the address Javier had given you on your last night together.

‘This is where I’ll be.’ He’d told you ‘You know… If you wanted to come to see me.’

You’d chuckled at that and told him you'd consider it... Then you’d left early that morning before he’d even woken up because you hadn't wanted to face saying goodbye to him. You’d regretted that move but knew he wouldn’t have cared, you were just fucking after all.

The flight was long and you weren’t able to sleep a wink, your leg shaking nervously the entire time. They'd served the in-flight meal but you couldn't eat a bite, the smell making your stomach turn. When you heard the captain announce that you would be landing in Laredo airport you feel your pulse quicken, palms starting to sweat as your nerves got the better of you. It was late when you landed, gone 11 pm by the time you made it out of the airport and so you decide that you would find a motel for the night and drive to Javier’s father’s ranch in the morning. You rent a car at the airport and drive around the unfamiliar town until you find a semi-clean looking hotel, the vacancy sign flashing in the dim light of night.

‘That’ll be 100 dollars for the night with breakfast included.’ The lady at the desk states, passing you a key with a large wooden tag attached, 101 carved onto it.

‘Thank you.’ You reply as you give her a genuine smile ‘Is there anywhere around here that’s still open where I can get something to eat? Just had a long flight and the plane food made my stomach roll.’

‘There’s a bar down the street.’ She replies ‘Does the best nachos you’ll ever taste.’

‘Great. Thanks.’

You make your way to your room, dropping off your luggage before heading to the bar the girl had mentioned. It was painted a dark red, a neon sign flashing ‘Open’ hanging in the window and you push open the door and make your way inside. Taking a seat at the bar you raise your hand to grab the barman’s attention, smiling as he approaches you.

‘Not seen you here before.’ He says as he smiles at you and you can’t help but notice how attractive he is.

‘I’m visiting some family.’ You reply ‘I hear the Nachos here are the best around.’

‘You heard right. Can I get you an order of those?’

‘And a beer.’ You finish as you give him a genuine grin and he gives you a wink before going off to give the kitchen your order.

You let your eyes scan the bar. It’s fairly busy for a Wednesday night. Mainly men scattered around the various tables and booths, a few women in small groups giggling as they sip their cocktails and you suddenly feel lonely, but the feeling disappeared when your beer is placed down in front of you.

‘So, how come you’re here alone?’ He asks as he leans against the bar polishing a glass.

‘I only landed an hour or so ago.’ You reply as you sip at your beer ‘Noting it’s a favourite of yours yet you’re finding it bitter.’

‘And is there a boyfriend in the picture?’ He asks and you can’t help but blush.

‘There’s a guy.’ You reply, taking another sip of your bitter beer ‘But he’s not my boyfriend. Not sure what we are if I'm honest. We kinda had a -friends with benefits- situation going on but I fell for him. They never end well eh?’ You chuckle and he responds in kind.

‘Shame.’ He replies as he gives you a cheeky grin ‘Would love you take you out.’

Your nachos arrive and sure enough, they are the best you’ve ever had. You chat to the barman, learning all there is to know about Lurado. You talk for a few hours before you inevitably have to leave.

'If things with that guy don't work. Feel free to call me.' States the barman as he hands you a scrap of paper with his name and number on it.

'I will.' You reply as you suck on your bottom lip.

When you get back to your room for find yourself emptying your stomach. You put it down to being jet-lagged and decide that sleep will help but when you wake up in the morning you find yourself hugging the toilet again, a thin layer of sweat coating your skin as you lean against the tiled wall. You brush your teeth and head down for breakfast but every smell that greets you makes your stomach turn and you soon find yourself sprinting for the toilet again but all you can do is heave, your stomach completely empty now.

‘What the fuck is wrong with me?’ You asked yourself as you rinse your mouth and face with water.

Then your mind starts to go over the facts. Your tastes have changed, smells are making you sick.

‘I can't be… can I?’ You ask yourself as you count back the days since your last cycle and your breath hitches.

You're two weeks late.

You practically sprint out of the motel, remembering that you’d seen a pharmacy down the road. You buy a pack of tests and make your way back to the motel, taking it a little slower as the Texas sun beats down on you. You happen to peer into a diner as you approach it and your heart stops when you see who’s sat by the window, smiling at a woman sat opposite. You stop dead in your tracks. Your heart in your throat, stomach twisting in knots as you watch him laugh at something she says whilst he strokes his thumb over her knuckles and he looks at her the way he used to look at you. A server comes to speak to the woman he’s with and he looks up and out of the window, his eyes then locking with yours. You don’t realise your crying but he can see it and his brows furrow as he tilts his head slightly. You can’t look at him a moment longer. You have bigger things to worry about and so you will your legs to move, practically sprinting down the sidewalk to get away.

‘Hermosa?’

You stop dead in your tracks but you don’t turn to face him. You’re shoulders shake as your sobs wrack your exhausted body.

‘What are you doing here?’ He asks and this makes you turn to face him.

‘Seriously?’ You spit, eyes red with tears ‘You should get back to your date Javier.’

‘Hermosa wait.’

‘Don’t you dare call me that!’ You growl ‘You don’t get to call me that. Not now.’

'You left me.' He states and you feel your anger explode.

Without another work you storm towards the motel, stopping by the front desk and asking if you’re able to extend your stay another night. You pay her and sprint back up to the room, pulling out the tests and heading into the bathroom. You're angry because he's right. You did leave him but as you look down at the box of tests in your hands you decide that this is more important right now. You need to know. So you follow the instructions and you pee on two of them, deciding that it's better to be safe than sorry and you place them facing down beside the sink, watching the minutes tick away on the clock opposite the bathroom door. You wait the five minutes it states on the box and turn to look at them, your hands shaking as you close your eyes and flip them over. Taking a deep breath you crack your eyes open and let out a sob at what you see.

Both of them are positive.

A million and one thoughts go through your head. You’re panicking as you think about what to do. Do you tell him? It’s his after all. You’d not been with anyone since he’d left. You sit there and stare at the tests, allowing your mind to think about the future. You growing round with Javier’s baby and you feel a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. What if he doesn't want it? What if he's serious with that woman? You don't want to be a homewrecker. Do you want to keep it? Are you ready to be a mum? You ponder all of these things for a long while as you stare and the two sticks of plastic in your hands. Yes. Yes, you are ready.

‘I’ll tell him.’ You say to the tiny being inside you ‘If he doesn’t want anything to do with you then that’s fine. We’ll be okay on our own.’ You pause as rest your hand on your stomach 'He's a good man your dad but he's complicated. Never one for settling down yet despite us not being an official couple he remained faithful to me for two years and I was to him.'

You shower and brush your teeth, needing to remove all evidence of your rough morning and head out a little after midday. Hopping into your rental car you pull the address out of your pocket, fingers brushing against the positive test you’d decided to bring and causing your heart to skip a beat. You sat there for a moment and imagined what they might look like. Would they have his expressive brown eyes and golden skin tone? Or would they have yours? Shaking your head you start up the car and pull out of the parking lot, following the signs for the area stated on the slip of paper on your lap. His father’s ranch is surprisingly easy to find. It sits a few miles outside of town and you feel your heart race as you make your way down the dusty drive. The house is a decent size. It's well kept with one large truck parked out front. To the left are some stables, two horses grazing in the field beside it and the nicker and whinny when they see you hop out of your car and head towards the house. You let out a shaky breath as pluck up the courage to knock on the door, your stomach doing somersaults as an older man answers and studies you for a moment before he speaks.

‘Can I help you?’ He asks, his accent much like Javier's Must be his father You think to yourself.

‘I’m looking for Javier Peña. Is her here?’ You asked, your voice shaking as you speak.

‘He’s up by the river mending fences.' The man states 'Follow that track up... You can't miss him.’ He states and you nod your thanks before getting back in your car.

'You're her aren't you?' He asks, stopping you dead 'He mentioned that he'd seen his partner from Columbia in town this morning. Also mentioned it wasn't a pleasant reunion.' You turn to look at him as he sizes you up 'He was broken when he left to fix those fences. You best not be going up there to break him more.'

'That's not my intention.' You state and he nods before heading back inside.

You get back into your car and make your way down the road you were told to follow and sure enough, you see Javier. He's adorning the same shirt he’d been wearing this morning, his signature yellow aviators tight jeans. He looks up when he hears the sound of tires on gravel and watches as you exit your car. His eyes follow you as you step towards him, gaze locked to his. He removes his shades as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing and you finally you come to a stop opposite him, your heart thundering so hard you’re sure he can hear it.

‘What are you doing here?’ He asks coldly with a stoic expression.

Your mouth moves but no words leave your lips. You think long and hard for a few moments about what to say to him but decide to cut straight to the chase. You need to get it out there.

‘I’m pregnant Javier.’ You state plainly as you pull out the positive test from your pocket ‘I'm pregnant and it’s yours.’

~

Chapter 2

[amenomiko]

Thank you for the request @lareina2501 ❤❤❤❤❤ It's an honor to be your fav writer (∩´﹏`∩) 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I will do my best more and more ∩( ✧Д✧)∩✨✨✨✨✨✨✨!! As for this request I've changed the storyline to match with the angst and happy ending, if you don't mind >3< ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤! Hope you like it!

Come Clean

Pairing: IkeSen Mitsuhide x MC

Type: One Shot

Rated: Angst + Happy End

🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊💙🦊

"This game ends here."

If travelling into an unknown place, an era with endless war, a timeline she have to wipe her tears but to survive...

The words that he uttered to her on that day hurts the most.

Everything was a gameplay to him. With that teasing smile, gradually changed into a hateful look, he pointed the gun that he always use to end someone's life to her. "I was just using you all the time. Who would've known you even give all of yourself to me-- to think that you shed enormous drop of tears just from Yoshiaki's words.. Aren't you the fragile one?"

Liar.

"Was it sated enough for you?"

Liar.

"Did I satisfy you?"

Liar.

"You are beaming with happiness just from a kiss? Such lonely girl you are."

"Mmmf--"

Waves and waves of swirling stirred inside of her, causing her to stumble to the side, of where she nearly bumped upon the edge of the wall if it isn't because of the support on the table nearby.

Mitsuhide..

She gasped, tears pricking within her orbs,

Mitsuhide..

Vomiting out everything that she could throw,

Mitsuhide..

Her coughs slowly emerges into a sob, and it grew stronger when she rub her belly.

Why did you lie..?

.......

It was a spur of the moment. It could be. It might be.

From a slow, loving kiss on her brow, her lips found his, where they exchanged their body heat with one another. Kisses, groans, soft moaning, endless marks all over her body, genuine confession towards each other-- it is such a blissful moment and memories for her.

To think that he choose to lie for the sake of her safety--

To think that he would use his weapon to threaten her..

So that she could stand in the light, and him, always in the abyss of darkness and evilness. And furthermore,..

To think that just from that one night, she had bear his child...

Oh she had tried to be with him. But he pushed her away. Many times. He even use another woman to make her believe that he was just using her all along--

...He even announced his marriage to the same woman to get rid of her completely--

And then..

She gasped again, now clenching on her stomach-- "K-Kana--..!"

Her maid bursted into the room, "Princess..? Princess!!"

-----

And then..

The wedding celebration were held joyfully, he even announced to the public of his happiness. He even laughed, smiled, nuzzled on his bride's nose, just to show how much he love her. Right in front of her, in front of her eyes, that clearly were decorated with nothing but a swell.

"I am happy for you, Mitsuhide."

Oh how it killed her.

It's as if she has taken a knife and stab her own chest.

"Well, to be honest.. I am having his child..! He is kind enough to marry me for the sake of our child..!" His bride whispered to her, from a gleeful voice that suddenly changed into a menacing ones,... "Now it's clear to you, isn't it? You are NO princess, so you should learn where do you stand, don't you think so?" Then it was again replaced with a smile the moment her husband called for her.

Ah.. So this is how they played it.

If it is like that, it's fine.

If it's for the sake of her child, then she will do it too.

Yes, she should learn her place. So she will leave everything. From a place where she didn't belong, a place where people wouldn't know, a place where people will forget.

With the help of Sasuke,...

That very same night she had faked her death. She had brought her most trusted maid with her, leaving no trace behind. Changing her appearance together with her maid, she made it as if she had never existed.

She made a promise with Sasuke as well. To keep it a secret, to never see her and to never associate with her. It was beyond his agreement, as she is his friend, but he have no choice.

------

"Princess.. You overexert your body again. It's not good for the child, as it will be born soon."

Smiling weakly, she caresses her growing belly. "I'm sorry.. I can't help but to remember that night. Especially when it was snowing like this."

Kana and MC wheeled their head to the garden, watching how it become white all over from the falling snow. "I don't know, Kana. It was not even snowing when he said those words, but maybe, just maybe, that night has become cold when he choose to lie."

"...Princess..."

"My apologies. I'm being very melancholy am I?"

Kana shakes her head. "Please don't say that, Princess. Here, have some water before you rest, alright?"

She nodded, leaning against the reclining chair before turning to see the white garden once more.

..To think that snow could make you feel this lonely. But she is not alone, she will be with her child. Even if her existence has faded to other people.

--------

There is no other day that he feels empty.

Staring into nothing in an ample silence, the feeling of the metal in his hand has been forgotten.

Such metal; the hairclip he had given her, is still smeared with blood, the blood of hers on the night she had gone from his life forever.

Lying is never enough for Mitsuhide. But it was more than enough for her. He lied for her own good. He hurt her for her happiness. He cast her aside for her safety. He trampled her feelings and love for him, for her best.

Even though everything had went well-- ending Yoshiaki's life, and gained another peace for his Lord, he is not satisfied. Faking a marriage, faking a love just to make her believe he didn't need her anymore-- it is the biggest sacrifice and self torture for him. More than the torture that he get in the cell when he was accused as the traitor back then..!

Her death is the ultimate torture of his life..!

Why did this happen? How could this happen?

What have he done to her??

"...Kh--"

And again,

There's no other day that he feel empty. There's no other days he will shed his tears while holding the hairclip close to his heart. He have seen it. He have seen her jumped off the cliff, right in front of his eyes. He had been searching, high and low, every places, to no avail. He had refused to believe, he nearly went crazy just from this..!

Is this..

A punishment for him? Yes. Indeed it is. For trampling her genuine and sincere love for someone like him..

"My lord."

He didn't answer his vassal. It was until Kyubei hand him a letter that makes his heart thump so loud in his chest.

-----

"Princess..! Princess..!! Please..! Please stay awake..! Your child needs you..! Please..!!"

"Give it your best, My lady..! Push with all your might..!!"

She couldn't feel her grip around the cloth in her palms anymore. She had tried all she could, but she sees nothing but whiteness. Her eyes narrowed-- she is in verge of fainting once more. "No..! You can't faint!! My lady!!"

'Ahh.. Mitsuhide.. Where are you.. Will you be here..? Will you come to my rescue just like you use to do..?'

Her hold around the cloth loosened, and the voices next to her couldn't be heard anymore, when..

"MC!!!"

The door burst open, revealing a pale looking Mitsuhide. Pale and thin, weaker than ever.

She must have been dreaming. For Mitsuhide to come and to found her like this, just like how she secretly wished. "MC..! Please..! Don't leave me..! Don't leave us..!" He squeezed her hand tight, patting her face lightly for her to stay awake. "I am here..! I will be here..! So please..!"

His facade broke. Tears after tears streaming on his face, wetting the surface of her cheek. "I love you.. Please. I'm begging you.." He grit his teeth to fight the upcoming tears, kissing her brow and temple over and over.

"Mmf--"

Her grip has tightened once again, eyes shut to give her all, especially for her unborn child.

Hours has passed, and by nightime..

A beautiful, melodic sound had filled the house.

-----

"....."

Mitsuhide has been staring at his daughter for quite some time. She is now nestled in his arms, sleeping peacefully as her father rub her cheeks gently.

He had stayed awake the whole time, even until MC had woke up. Both of them didn't say anything, only exchanging a silent look to one another.

Then after a while..

He rose and settled next to her.

There's no words were uttered, but he pulls her close with his other arm, burying his head in the crook of her neck where a silent cry could be heard, and an endless strings of apologies were said.

Throughout the time when she lived in seclusion, her maid has been exchanging letters with his vassal secretly. Both of them updated each other's situation, and when it is the perfect time for their masters to meet again, that is where the letter were given to Mitsuhide.

He had brought her back, to everyone's surprise. Things had been cleared between them; a happy ending for both of them. No lies, no facades, just the truth.

And....

*Extra*

"THIS, is WHY, I've TOLD you, to NOT do EVERYTHING, ON YOUR OWN! JUST LOOK WHAT HAD HAPPENED?? JUST LOOK!! THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT HELL THANKS TO YOU!! AND JUST LOOK AT YOU?? YOU ARE LIKE THOSE BEGGAR ON THE STREETS!!"

"My, my, how rude ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)."

"OH HELL YES, I AM. SEE? SHE EVEN HAVE TO FAKE HER WHEREABOUTS BECAUSE SHE'S HURT!! AND--"

"....Mmmnnnn..."

"Oooh, oooh, my baby angel, Uncle Hideyoshi ish here (❁´◡`❁)🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸~~~ WHERE ARE YOU GOING MITSUHIDE I'M NOT DONE YET (　☉д⊙)!!"

"MC needs help, so I will leave my daughter with you for a while ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)."

"Oh okay-- wait- WAIT! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HER. YOU ARE GROUNDED MITSUHIDE! G R O U N D E D!!!"

"Mmmnnn.. Eeehhheeee QAQ!!!!"

"Aaaaahhh my baby angel QAQ I'm sorry!!!"

"Oh my ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)."

"Just give her konpeito, she will stop crying for sure (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)." - Nobunaga

"MY LORD NO (　☉д⊙)!!"

[lia-bones]

The night when everything collapses

Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: It is a full moon night. Remus was gone as always. (Y/N) was alone until she received an unexpected visitor who brought terrible news.

Warnings: Angst, Angst, Angst, Swear words, injuries, dead, murder, tears and grief.

Words: 2154

Author note: I am so sorry. So sorry. Why do I always write angst stories? It was so difficult for me to write that. It always depressed me so much. I wrote it over several days because I always needed a break from the grief.

(English is not my main language. I apologize for all misspellings, grammatical errors, and translation errors.)

not my gif

* * *

It was a restless night. The wind rattled the windows and the moon cast dark shadows in the room. It was pouring, so that large puddles formed on the ground.

The sky was deep black, only now and then the full moon shine through the gaps in the cloud cover. Nobody would be on their feet voluntarily on nights like this. (Y/N) would now prefer to be in her bed, cuddling with her boyfriend, under a thick blanket.

On other nights that wouldn't be a problem at all. But on nights like this it wasn't. Not because of the rain or the storm, but because of the lunar circle. Her boyfriend couldn't be with her on full moon nights, and she couldn't be with him. He would never let that happen. He was infected with lycanthropy as a child. Since then he turned into a werewolf every full moon. Just like today. Usually his friends would be with him but they were all busy.

James was with his wife and one year old son and Sirius and Peter were on missions for the Order. So Remus spent that night alone. But she would wait for him. Just like she always did.

(Y/N) was mixing batter for brownies when there was a knock on the door. Confused, she looked out the window. The moon was still in the sky, so there was no chance Remus would be back. Maybe it was Lily who just wanted to sleep for a few hours without being woken up by Baby Harry. The poor boy was just getting his first teeth and screamed terribly at night.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. No need to rush." she called when there was another knock on the door. This time louder.

She wiped off her hands with a towel and then hurried across the living room to the door.

She held her wand tightly in her hand as she opened the door, ready just in case.

Whoever stood in front of her house made the young woman pause.

Her former Hogwarts teacher, professor mcgonagall, was standing in the open doorway with an expression on her face that made (Y/N)'s hair stand up.

"Miss (Y/L/N). May I come in. I've got news that I can't deliver out here.

The younger woman nodded a little confused and took a few steps to the side to make room for her teacher to enter.

Both women stood facing each other in silence. (Y/N) kneaded her hands and looked at the floor. The behavior of the normally so composed woman, scared her a little.

The older woman looked nervous, her eyes were red and she was breathing hard.

"P .. Professor? ...what is it that you have to tell me?"

The mood in the room was tense. McGonagall didn't look at her at first.

The feeling that something was wrong spread through every fiber of (Y/N) body.

And now that the eyes of the two women met, she noticed that tears were running down the teacher's slightly wrinkled cheeks.

"I have bad news (Y/N). Terrible things have happened."

(Y/N) bit her lip and started breathing hard. She opened her eyes wide and tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

Her mouth go completely dry and she was terrified of what McGonagall was about to tell her.

"Voldemort attacked the Potters. Lily and James ... they ... they are dead."

The statement came in a whisper.

(Y/N) suddenly couldn't breathe. As if all the air had left the room. Tears ran down her cheeks, which had turned a deep red from the lack of air. Her lip had started bleeding from biting too hard.

It couldn't be. What her teacher just told her couldn't be. Lily and James couldn't be dead, she had seen them yesterday.

"Kinds of Miss (Y / L / N). You have to take a deep breath." McGonagall said, placing both hands on the younger woman's shoulders. (Y/N) looked at her with a panicked expression and stammered: "No. No, no, no, no, no. This can not be true. Please, please tell me this is not true. They can't be dead. YThey have to live ... they ... " The older woman cut her off by patting her lightly on the shoulder.

"I wish I was lying. Unfortunately, it's the truth. They were found dead in ther house an hour ago."

(Y/N) Face color went from deep red to pale.

So pale that you could see the blue veins on her neck and face shimmering through the skin. She felt as if someone had kicked her head. McGonagall wasn't lying. Why should she lie about something like that? Two of her best friends were, in deed, dead. She would never see them again. James and Lily, who had just started a family, were no longer with them.

And then it came to (Y/N) mind. The Potter family. James, Lily and Harry. McGonagall hadn't said anything about Harry. What's about Harry?

"What about Harry? Is Harry alive? You didn't say Harry was dead! That means he's alive, right? Or? You bring him here ,right? " she exclaimed furiously and grabbed the woman opposite by the upper arms.

McGonagall released her grip, but still held her hands tightly. A sad smile formed on her face that did not reach her eyes and slowly shook her head.

(Y/N) jerked her hands back and her mouth fell open.

McGonagall pulled her lips in and didn't meet her eyes.

"Yes. Harry is alive. He is fine. He only has a cut on his forehead. But we're not going to bring him here. Dumbledore has decided that Harry will be taken to the Dursley's. Harry is probably safest there, he says. Voldemort may be gone, but you never know what his followers are up to. Nobody will suspect him there. Away from the magic world, with the Muggles." explained Minerva matter-of-factly and folded her arms in front of her body.

(Y/N) was speechless for a moment. The old man couldn't mean that seriously.

"To the Dursleys? Really? That can't be serious! We are his family. He had it better with us than with them. They don't love him. They don't care. Who knows what they're doing to him!" She pleaded and gestured with her arms. The woman opposite took a few steps backwards and looked at the floor in shame.

"You are his family too. They are blood relatives. He's safer with them."

(Y/N) tensed her jaw and bit her cheek until she tasted the metallic taste of blood.

They couldn't mean that seriously. These people had never been interested in Harry before. Harry would be safe with them too.

"Such a crap. He belongs here. To me, Remus and Sirius ... we are ... "

Again she was interrupted by McGonagall, who drew in a sharp breath when she called Sirius' name.

(Y/N) closed her mouth and looked at her inquiringly.

"There's other bad news that I have to deliver. Sirius Black was brought to Azkaban some time ago by the Aurors, which he will never leave again. He was convicted of murdering numerous Muggles and Peter Pettigrew in cold blood.He betrayed us."

(Y/N) slumped. Her knees hit the floor and her hands caught her torso. She felt as if she was about to throw up, but she could only choke dryly.

McGonagall was about to take a few steps towards her again to comfort the young woman when she suddenly hit the floor with her fists and let out a desperate scream.

"FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOU LIE TO ME! THAT CANNOT BE TRUE. FUCKING LIED DIRT SHIT!"

McGonagall stared down at her with wide eyes and made a wry face.

"No Miss (Y/L/N). I'm so sorry. But there is nothing to be done about it."

(Y/N) gasped in response.

"I'll meet Dumbledore in a moment to hand Harry over to his aunt and uncle. Have a seat and calm down, please. Harry will be fine and as soon as he gets to Hogwarts you can see him again. Please, (Y/N). There is nothing we can do now. Calm down, we will send you more information soon.

I ask you to pass the latest events on to Remus as soon as he gets back. I think you can tell him the best. Be there for one another in these difficult time."

The older teacher put a hand on her head for a moment to comfort her and then turned away and left the house.

(Y/N) was left alone.

she sat on the floor and felt her whole body wrapped in cold. The horrible realization that she had lost three of her best friends that night ate into her bones. The lights in the whole house flickered and she felt the magic going crazy inside her. She screamed from the top of her lungs and at that moment several glasses cracked in the club.

She curled up on the floor like a fetus and hugged her legs. The tears furrowed her cheeks and there was a lump the size of a quoffel in her throat.

It hurt so much. Everything hurt so much. It was like her skin was on fire, her bones break like matches and her inside, felt like she'd swallowed acid.

Crying didn't feel like enough for (Y/N), the emotions in her just had to get out.

She pulled herself up and walked into the kitchen on shaky legs.

Her baking ingredients were on the counter as she had left them. She clawed her hands in the sideboard and blinked to get a clear view again.

"Fuck, Shit, damn it!"

With a quick arm movement, she ripped everything off the kitchen counter. Flour, milk and eggs were scattered on the floor and on the walls, with broken glass from the dough bowl in between.

With a heartbreaking sob, (Y/N) fell into the mess.

She lay down on the site and with her arms pulled her legs to her chest as tightly as she could. Splinters pecked her face, but she made no move to change that. At least, the sting reminded her that she was still there and hadn't just dissolved.

Hours passed like seconds and before she even realized it, the door opened and heavy steps shuffled through the house.

"(Y/N), dear. I'm home. Are you awake?" Remus called in a limp voice looking for his girlfriend.

She heard how he came closer, how the footsteps got louder and louder. But she couldn't move, couldn't answer him.

'How am I supposed to tell him? How am I supposed to tell him that his whole family is dead? ' she thought and screwed up her eyes more tightly.

"Hey (Y/N/N), what about the glasses ..." Remus asked as he entered the kitchen, but stopped when he saw his girlfriend lying on the floor.

"Fuck! (Y/N)! Fuck! what the fuck happened?" he exclaimed excitedly, hurried across the kitchen and fell on his knees next to his girlfriend.

Carefully he stroked her cheek and held her hand with the other.

She blinked and looked up at him. His face was pale gray and there were a few new scratches on his face.

She sucked in air through clenched teeth and let it out with a sob.

"(Y/N). Hey love, what happened? Please talk with me." her boyfriend whispered, leaning further down to her.

She sat up and leaned her back against the wall. For a moment she could only stare at him. How was she supposed to tell him something that she knew would hurt him immeasurably?

Just as he opened his mouth again to say something, she said in a scratchy voice: "Something bad has happened."

Confused, he drew his eyebrows together and brushed the last glass of residue off her cheek.

She opened her mouth again to continue speaking, but only brought out a hoarse croak.

She couldn't look at him. We didn't want to see the pain in his eyes when she was about to ram a Methaforic knife into his chest.

"Hey look at me. It won't be that bad. Everything will be fine."

She looked back at him and instantly tears began to gather in her eyes again.

'No. It was worse. Much worse.'

"Remus, sit down." she whispered and took his hands as he did as he was told.

Her throat went dry and she started shaking all over.

"I do not know how I should begin. I don't want to say it. That would only make it more real...."

[malfoysmaybank]

drivers license - stanley barber

a/n: i was having some writers block on my requests and i’ve been sobbing to this song on repeat, so here’s a fic for my bebs stanley barber. i also changed one lyric from “blonde girl” to “one girl” because it fit the plot more!

warnings: angst, you might cry (i did while writing this lols), parent absence, fluff at the end because i couldn’t break my heart with this one, but some straight angst is coming soon!!!!

word count: 1.7k+

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You had been best friends with Stanley Barber since you were young, maybe 10. You had stood up for him when some kids were pushing him around because of his outfit. 

“Hey! Get off of him!” You said, yelling at the trio of 5th grade boys pushing another boy to the ground. “Or what, Y/N? You’ll tattle? We aren’t scared of a girl.” The leader of the pack said. You clenched your jaw and punched him straight in the nose. You weren’t going to let a man talk to you like that. The leader started crying and ran off, his sidekicks following after him. You walked over to the boy on the ground and helped him up. “T-Thanks for that.” He said as he got back up. “No problem. I’m Y/N, by the way. Y/N Y/L/N.” You extended your hand for a handshake. He took it. “Stanley. Stanley Barber.”

You’ve been close ever since. You ate lunch with him that day and  bonded over silly things like tv shows and favorite colors. In middle school, he helped you develop your style and you bonded over new things like favorite bands and books. You had his back and he had yours. He truly was your best friend.

However, you started seeing Stanley in a new light in eighth grade. He had gotten taller, his face a little more structured. He also learned how to play guitar that year. He wrote a song about you, of all things. Nobody had ever done something like that for you before. You started noticing the little things he did for you. He would randomly bring a bag of your favorite candy to lunch if he saw you were having a bad day. He taught you how to play piano because he thought it sounded nice with your voice. You fell in love with Stanley Barber. Fuck. Of course you’d NEVER tell him. You couldn’t fuck up the only good thing in your life right now. So that meant silently suffering whenever he had a crush on someone.

That’s the issue, you couldn’t be happy for him when he was with someone else. You spent countless days crying alone in your room after he’d go on for hours about his newest crush. This continued for a straight 3 years. His newest crush was Sydney Novak. You thought this one would blow over, just like his past few, but it didn’t. In fact, this one was the strongest crush he’s ever had. He’d been ditching you to hang out with her. He wasn’t even there to see you get your drivers license, something he’d been so encouraging about. He basically taught you how to drive because he knew how much it meant to you. He didn’t even know you had passed your test, never once asking. But in the sparse moments when he didn’t blow off plans, he’d constantly be talking about her. One of those sparse moments being tonight.

You were currently in his room/basement and he was going on one of his Sydney rants. “She’s so cool, Y/N. I mean, I’ve never met someone who I’ve clicked with more.” Um ouch, but whatever. “I don’t know, she’s just different. Like, in a good way though.” Three deep breaths, Y/N. 3… “We even hooked up the other night.” 2… “I think I’m in love with her.” 1. “Look Stanley, not to be rude, but do you EVER shut up about her?!” You spat. He looked over at you in shock. “I can’t do this tonight… I’m leaving.” You grab your ��save the earth’ backpack and start jogging up the stairs to leave. 

He follows as you open the door to his garage. “Woah, woah, woah, Y/N. What’s up?” Stan calls from behind you. You grab your skateboard and lift up the garage door. It’s pouring outside, but you don’t care. You go to leave but feel a hand on your wrist stop you. “You’re not going out in weather like that, just come inside and we can talk.” He says gently, still slightly confused. “About what, Sydney again? Don’t you get it Stanley?!” You snap in his face. His eyebrows furrow and you let out a sarcastic laugh, tears building in your eyes. “Of course you don’t. You’ve been so wrapped up in Sydney that you forgot who I was! I’m so done, Stan. I can’t sit here and pretend that I don’t care anymore. Don’t bother hanging out with me anymore.” You snap and rip your wrist away from Stanley’s grip. 

You drop your board and get on, pushing as fast as you can. He calls after you but you block him out. When you’re a far distance away from him and his house, you just sit down on the side of the road and cry. Hurt that he’ll never be yours. Angry that he doesn’t care about you anymore. Frustrated because you tried to be the glue that held your friendship together, but even glue can’t fix the titanic.

You didn’t go to school for the next week. Your parents wouldn’t care, they weren’t even here. Still on some ‘business trip’ just like every week. Instead, you did something that calms you. Wrote music about how you were feeling. You played piano basically all week. Singing anything and everything you were feeling. It made you feel worse sometimes, but in the end it felt worth it.

Stan pulled into your driveway in his dad’s piece of shit car. He needed to work this out with you, he hadn’t seen you all week and he was worried. He missed his best friend. As he quietly closed the car door, he heard the piano playing. He didn’t recognize the song, he was curious. He didn’t even bother knocking, knowing you would slam the door in his face if you knew it was him. He quietly shut the front door and he heard your voice. It got louder as he walked closer to your bedroom door. He’d always loved your voice, it put him to sleep some nights. He could see you slightly, the door left ajar. He listened in.

“I got my drivers license last week,

Just like we always talked about.

'Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house.

But today I drove through the suburbs,

Crying 'cause you weren't around”

You sang flawlessly, not a single note out of tune. There was so much emotion behind your voice. So much hurt, anger, frustration. He continued listening, trying to find out who caused you so much hurt. He’d bash their face in, that’s for sure.

“And you're probably with that one girl

Who always made me doubt.

She's so much older than me,

She's everything I'm insecure about”

With that first line, it hit him. He’d caused this hurt. The anger, the frustration, that was him. He was so angry with himself that he almost missed the next line… almost.

“Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs,

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?”

You… you loved him? He’d spent so much time on Sydney that he hadn’t even realized what was in front of him all these years. Except he had.

“And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one.

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.”

God damn it! He could’ve confessed sooner, instead of ignoring his feelings. And for what? A mindless hookup with Sydney?! He could’ve had you this whole time, but he fucked up.

“....Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.”

You said that line softly. No anger, or frustration, or even confusion behind that line. Just hurt. He saw a single tear fall down your cheek as you stopped singing. There was more to that song, you just couldn’t continue. He’d be sure to ask you to sing the rest of it later, but right now he needed to fix this. You stood up from the piano bench and he burst through the door. “Stanley, what are you doi-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he wrapped his arms around you and brought your head to his chest. “I meant every word of that damn song. Every word. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” Tears flowed down your face as you tightly hugged him back and buried your face in the crook of his neck. “I love you. And I’ll be better for you. I should’ve treated you with the respect and love you deserve. I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Please give me a second chance, please.” He cried. “I love you too, Stan.” You started. “But I don’t know.” He squeezed you tighter (but still as gentle as possible, he didn’t want to hurt you), with more tears flowing out of his eyes. “Please, Y/N. I’ll be better. If I give you anything less than the love and attention you deserve, you have my full permission to punch me square in the face and kick me to the curb.” You both giggled, still crying. 

He let go of you to hold your face in his hands. “Please?” He begged. “...Okay, fine. But we need to go over how you’re going to do better in the future and what we can do to help each other communicate better and stuff.” You said. He picked you up and spun you around, making you squeal. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Y/N!! I promise I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” You laughed as he set you down and leant down to whisper in your ear. “Want to hear a secret?” He said, sending shivers down your spine. “I never liked Sydney.” He laughed as you hit his chest. “You dick!” You exclaimed, shocked. He swiftly pulled you in by the waist, your faces inches apart as your hands rested on his chest. “You love me, though.” He whispered. “That I do.” You said and finally closed the gap. Damn, you could kiss this boy forever. Alas, the moment is cut short because unfortunately, humans need oxygen to survive. “I love you too.” He says and smiles, giving you a peck on the forehead. “Could you sing the rest of that song for me? I love your voice but that songwriting was INCREDIBLE.” He says and you nod.

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permanent taglist: 

@loonylunaandthenargles​

[acertainsomeone]

Finding us- EdSer one shot

If he had any doubts before, this incident cleared them altogether. Eda Yildiz had not only taken over his holding and life but his dog as well. He couldn't come to terms with the fact that his best friend, his dog, whom he had brought up since he was a baby, had turned his back on him. Ever since he proposed to Selin, Eda had asked Seyfi bey to get Sirius back to Bolat place. Not that she didn't love him anymore, she found it appropriate that the dog was returned to his rightful owner. She didn't wish anymore for Serkan to treat her worse, if fate planned, his memories will come back otherwise she was not going to desperately beg him to choose her over Selin. It wasn't about pride. Her love was much more than self-respect. She realized that Serkan was scared of her because she managed to strike chords of his heart that were nonexistent for him. If she pushed him further, if she hovered over his head, he would be irked and god forbid if something serious happened to his health, she won't be able to forgive herself.  

Sirius wasn't home, this was twice in the last three days that he had managed to escape. Serkan's pride was too much to call Eda and ask her to pay a visit to Sirius. Usually, he came back wagging his tail, it wasn't hard to spot him around but this time Serkan panicked. He checked the entire neighborhood and every possible place where Sirius could've gone. He had lost his memories; he couldn't afford to lose him.

"Where are you oğlum ?" He drove across the seats of Istanbul in apprehension. His heart skipped a beat thinking of a much worse possibility. Sirius wasn't among those dogs who get along with people, forget strangers.

What if somebody tried to harm him?

It wasn't hard to come across such crackheads, who would hurt animals for their pleasure.  

"Alo" Serkan answered his phone in panic upon seeing Eda's name on the screen. She was going to chide him enough for being so careless.

As if he wasn't to be blamed in her eyes already

"No need to wander around the streets, Sirius is with me. I'm sending you the location. Hadi gel." Her voice was devoid of any emotions, she didn't let him speak and hung up asap. 

 Did he make a mistake?

What was this place? And why would Sirius come here? He wondered while climbing the steps of the apartment. He entered and found a wounded Sirius lying in Eda's lap. He was asleep, and Eda was caressing his head.

"SIRIUS!" He cried in panic, and Eda glared at him for being so loud. 

"Shhhh you're gonna wake him."  

'What happened?" He asked incredulously. Sitting beside Eda, caressing his only best friend with affection.

"I think he ran from your place - to find me. He would've expected me to be at the park. Few children hit him there. Thankfully, I was there for a walk and spotted him immediately."

"What park? I checked all places where he could be."

"There are places that became Sirius's preference, if not yours." She rolled her eyes

"Anyways Serkan, tell me in all honesty, can you take care of him or not? I can't risk his life like this."

He was about to fight back with a 'he's my dog' but he knew that would've turned into a nasty conversation. He owed a thank you to Eda.

"Teşekkürler Eda."  

Eda looked at him plainly. It was hurting him to see her eyes without that love he was used to seeing ever since he came back. Why was it bothering him?  He pushed her away, that's what he wanted.

"You stay with him tonight. He needs to rest."  

"What is this place?" Serkan asked

"Home." She sighed in reverence. "I mean your home, you shifted here."

"Neden."

"I'll leave that story for your fiancé to tell after all she had been telling you everything, and you only believe her."

Eda picked her bag and stood up. "There's food in the fridge. Sirius's food is by the coffee table. And-        your room is upstairs."  She seemed in a hurry. He felt she was only telling him this to fulfill an obligation. He could feel her restless. But why? He had no idea

Serkan examined his room carefully. He was amazed Selin hadn't told him about moving out. The bedroom screamed that he was in a relationship with her Eda Yildiz.

Yok, the bed was made and broken lamps were fixed.

It had their memories. Her memories and belongings. Belongings that he would've never allowed in his premises.

Her clothes and undergarments were piled up along his. Her toothbrush and other toiletries were neatly placed in the bathroom. It didn't seem that they were placed there recently.

A weird sensation was pulling him towards those things. He ran his fingers through her belongings, having flashbacks. They were vivid.

For the first time, he heard her cackling voice too. It was blurry but even his bones could tell that they were in bed, and – he was doing things to make her laugh.

It can't be me

He shook his head in denial.

Serkan opened a drawer and found a USB. It wasn't the USB that grabbed his attention but the flower and note attached to it. That was his handwriting

"For us to remember all the good times- just in case."

***  

"Serkannn!! Would you stop? Look at my state." A sleepy yet annoyed Eda shrieked at Serkan, who was prolly filming a video. He chuckled at her words, not paying attention to whatever she said.

"Eda I know how you look like without clothes." She threw a pillow at his head, and the video disrupted. "Watch out!"

"Are you filming us naked in bed?"

"Hayır, I'm filming this for us to remember that you can't stay mad at me for long." He replied in amusement. This was one of those nights when she had been mad at him but they made out in less than a moment.

"You think too highly of yourself Serkan bolat."

"I've got the brightest star for myself. Shouldn't I?"

"Can you stop this? I have to get up Serkan!"

"How about first you record a message for an 80-year-old Eda, who might've forgotten me?"

"How are you sure that it can't be you."

"I love you way too much to forget you. More than you could. We can bet on that." He winked at her shamelessly

"Tamam." She wasn't going to fight him on this. Eda moved forward cautiously wrapping her naked self with the duvet and kissed Serkan on the tip of his nose.

"This message is for old, yet madly in love Mr. and Mrs. Bolat! No matter how hard the times are, no matter how grave misunderstandings can be, no matter how bleak the road of hope is, we will find our way back, together." 

"Always." He said with a smile and pulled her into a kiss. The video was for them so it didn't matter if it was all being recorded in that state. 

*** 

We don't choose our parents, we don't choose our family, and at times life doesn't allow us to choose our partner as well. He would've never in his right mind made an illogical choice of falling for Eda Yildiz.

Yet he did

Did he make a mistake?

Because all that he had given her in this relationship was pain, so far.

The video brought back a bunch of memories. Their first kiss, first fight, first night, and the last goodbye.

Serkan was mercilessly driving on the empty roads of Istanbul. It was raining heavily and he was drenched. This rain could've made him sick, terribly

But did he even care anymore?

He had hurt the most important person in his life. He ruined everything

How could he forget her of all people? Serkan always claimed to love Eda more than she could. His love was fragile

He sobbed mercilessly, wishing to hit the car somewhere and end this pain. Events of the past few weeks circulated in front of his eyes. The way he was indifferent towards her. The way he resisted her touch and broke her heart all over again.

I never deserved her

He smacked his head against the steering wheel. His tears blocked his vision and he had no idea that he was driving beyond the speed limit with an absolutely insane state of mind.

Suddenly it grew all dark. He couldn't see anything. It felt that the steering wheel was moving in its own direction

All he could hear was noise. Eda's cries and his broken promises.

He was sitting in the police station absentmindedly. Eda was completing the formalities. They hadn't had any eye contact so far else he would've started crying right there. She took him by his arm as if he was lifeless.

"Serkan noldu? You were absolutely fine when I left." She asked him apprehensively, careful not to touch him. "Do you want me to call someone? Selin-"

She stopped immediately. He looked at her for the first time. 

The gaze

Eda caught her breath. It was him. 

It was really him

She knew that man 

Those eyes, they weren't of a stranger. Those eyes recognized her, and she had seen love for her in them. But why was she seeing something stronger than love right now? Anguish

"Serkan!" She gasped unbelievingly. Her hands wrapped around his face possessively as if he'd leave this time if she didn't hold him tight

"I-" he was struggling with words. Should he tell her how scared he was when the pilot told them that the plane was going to crash? How he cursed himself for leaving her behind? Or how much he loves her? Where do I begin

Eda sobbed with happiness. She did not know what to say anymore. He was there, right in front of her. Her Serkan. Her robot bolat

The man who loved her

They were sitting at the shore. Looking blankly at the sea. The waves were calm but their hearts weren't. He had held her hand, and the grip was so strong that it was hurting her a bit but she didn't complain۔

"Eda" he broke the silence

"I don't even have words to ask for your forgiveness. I made another mistake, I broke your heart once again, didn't fulfill my promise, and became the reason for your tears." He was stuttering۔ words weren't leaving his mouth easily whereas Eda kept on looking at him with tears in her eyes

"What I did in the last few weeks can't be forgiven. I've hurt you. I won't beg you to return back to me. I can't make mistakes repeatedly and expect you to stand by the road waiting for me. I-" He stopped and his voice broke further

"Eda you might not want me back in your life but can you please forgive me? One last time? I won't be able to live with the fact that you hate me. Just don't hate me please"

He was begging her, his hands joined together in front of her pleading for forgiveness. His eyes were screaming in pain. He won't be able to bear that hate in this heart. If she stopped caring for him, he won't even bat an eye, but accepting the fact that she despises him? Serkan Bolat would die.

He knew he was being selfish. Yet again, he was thinking of himself. But he was selfish, he never deserved someone as selfless as Eda Yildiz. He disgraced their love, he ruined their relationship, and now if she wished to discontinue this fragile relationship, he won't subject.

"I failed our love Eda. I failed you." She could tell that he was not able to breathe properly. Eda's heart sunk the moment he adjoined his hands in front of her. With each pleading, it felt as if someone was squeezing her heart mercilessly.

"Fate failed us Serkan." She sniffed between her sobs. Her hands cupped his face immediately. She wanted to protect him, she wanted to curl his masculine self among her soft frame. She wished to provide him that comfort and safety his heart seek for the last few months.

He was asking her to forgive him. He feared that she hated him now. How could she?

Serkan had become more than a partner for her, he was a part of her. We don't detach ourselves from what lies within us.

He looked at her disbelievingly. Eda wiped his face with her palms. No more crying. They had enough, more than enough. The pain they had endured was enough for a lifetime.

"We'll leave. Somewhere far away, nobody could find us. Away from this mess, this hate, this chaos. Serkan we have each other. We are not going to let them ruin our happiness."

Was she for real?

"Tamam?" Eda pestered. He nodded in return, unable to say something.

"Seni cok seviyorum." Serkan mumbled only for her to hear as she adorned his face with delicate kisses.

"I have so much to tell you." She sighed in between.

"Where are you taking us?" He did not know why he was asking this. It didn't matter, the question came out of his mouth involuntarily.

"We are going to look for phoenixes." He did not know what that meant but he need not ask. As long as she was there, he didn't have to worry about anything. Eda embraced him protectively like a child. He was in his safe haven.

He was finally saved from the crash. 

[jjmaybanksblog]

Good Old Days - JJ Maybank

Gif credit @toesure !

Summary: you and JJ meet once again after a harsh break up.

Word count: 1,982

Warnings: cheating, angst underage drinking, implied sex at the end. I do NOT condone the action of going back to someone who cheated.

You sat alone in a booth at a local restaurant, diagonal from where your friend Nicole sat with an unfamiliar boy. You had offered to 'be a look out' for the girl when she brought up how her friends had helped her get a blind date. Nicole had the fear that she might embarrass herself or something might go south, so you decided to lend a helping hand to calm her down.

You subtly flicked your eyes up and down from the menu to your friend as a waitress came up to you. "What can I get you hun?" 

"Just a vanilla milkshake and fries please." The lady nodded and took the menu from your hands. You reached inside of your bag and pulled out your notebook. Finding a pen, you began to mindlessly draw little doodles of whatever came to mind. 

You were actually enjoying the peace and quiet until the front door bell chimed. Before you could react, JJ Maybank took the spot right across from you. "Can I help you?" You scoffed, closing the notebook. 

"Nope. I'm helping my friend out and it looks like you happen to be doing the same thing for your friend too." JJ said, looking behind his shoulder to see his friend give him a thumbs up. You rolled her eyes, defensively crossing your arms.

"Okay, well how about you move to the other booth where you can 'help' by yourself." JJ dramatically put his hand to his heart, "does Y/F/N Y/L/N not want to spend time with me?" "The last time I was near you it didn't end well." You hissed. JJ immediately got quiet as the waitress came up to deliver your order.

"Oh! Would you like anything dear? On the house for the couple!" The waitress smiled, "oh no we're not-" "actually I would love a hamburger and a chocolate milkshake please!" JJ grinned. "Coming right up." 

"Seriously JJ why can't you just sit somewhere else?" You asked as you dipped a fry into the milkshake. JJ furrowed his eyebrows as he watched you take a bite. "What? It's good." You defended.

"See I could, but Steve made me promise to help him out. And now I get to talk to you which is exactly what I want to be doing on my Friday night." Sarcasm dropped from his voice as you bite your tongue.

"Well you can leave. You never were good at keeping promises anyway." You seethed, taking the cherry out of the milkshake and popping into your mouth. JJ became quiet once more as the sudden flashback hit him.

Flashback:

2 years. 2 years was all it took for something so positive and bright, to turn into something dead. 2 years was all it took for JJ Maybank to own, and then break your heart. 

You two had been dating for a full two years, both of you guys admitting you were in love. Making promises that you two couldn't keep. One of them being, 'I'll always love you.' 

JJ broke that the minute his lips touched some tourons at an end of the year school party. You had lost sight of your boyfriend in the middle of the party after telling him you were going to the bathroom. It took you 10 minutes to find him with the unknown girl. 

"Have you seen- oh." Your words slipped your mind as you saw a boy and girl break away from a kiss. Only to reveal that face that made your heart break. "I better... I better g-go." You stumbled over your words, your legs moving as fast as they could out of that house and far away from JJ.

You didn't know what to do, what to think, how to act, what to say, everything just became numb. Like someone had just ripped your heart from your chest, and dangled it in front of your face as if it were mocking you. So you just ran, and ran all the way to your house. Dried tears stained your face as you were panting, on the verge of passing out. 

Your mind felt fuzzy, as if it were an old TV and an antenna was knocked loose, like all you heard was static and a ringing. You shook your head frantically as you paced in the living room. A rapid knock echoed in the silent room as you let out a sob. You slowly walked to the door, your hand shaking as it hesitantly reached out.

You twisted the handle and pulled the door open to reveal a frantic JJ. "Y/N please let me-" "Don't even fucking start JJ." You said, cautiously backing away from the door. JJ walked into the house as he tried to grab hold of your wrists. 

You pulled your wrists back from JJ's grip as you began to have trouble breathing. "You fucking kissed some random girl. Who knows what the fuck would've happened if I didn't walk into that room." You mumbled to yourself as your head began to ache.

"Y/N you know I wouldn't do that!" "When you're in a relationship you don't fucking kiss somebody else! I didn't think you'd do that yet here we are!" You raised your voice as you paced again.

"Open your fucking eyes, it's so obvious I'm in love with you!" JJ yelled back, causing you to flinch, his breath smelled of alcohol. Your eyes suddenly fell to the ground, afraid to look at him without breaking down.

"You need to leave," your voice wavered, "you need to leave and not come back. You can't look at me. You can't speak my name. You can't have anything to do with me, Maybank. We're fucking done." You breathed out, feeling as though you had a boulder crushing your body.

"Y/N. I made you a promise that I'd love you, please let me keep going with that promise." JJ begged, his eyes burning harshly with tears. "You broke your promise, you can't come back from that."

JJ let out a sigh as his head slumped down, forcing his legs to walk out the front door, and out of your life.

Memory over.

"Look, this isn't a guilt trip: I just genuinely want to know if you dislike me so I can stop bothering you." JJ said, fidgeting with his fingers. You sighed as you swirled the straw around the milkshake. "I don't dislike you as a human, I fucking despise what you did to me." You admitted.

"I've changed Y/N. I haven't been with any other girl, I haven't spoken with that other girl since then. Please just give me a break. I've been busy trying so fucking hard. I'm doing the best I can. Please, please don't ask more of me." JJ frowned, his leg now anxiously tapping.

You let out a scoff, but you couldn't lie to yourself. You missed being with JJ, you missed him so damn much, but you didn't want to admit it. Your eyes flickered to your friend who was standing up and giving Steve a kiss on the cheek. 

Their date was over, but you and JJ sat firmly in the booth. "Let me just drive you home like the good days, just hear me out." JJ begged. You cracked your knuckles, a habit you gained after the break up. "Fine. But so help me Maybank if you fuck it up you will never, I repeat ever come speak to me again." JJ let out a breath of relief and thanked you.

You couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of luck when he offered, glad that you chose to walk to the diner. You two sat in silence for a bit of the ride before JJ turned on the radio. 'Wonderwall' by Oasis played through the sound system, memories of this song hitting you in the face like a brick.

JJ began to obnoxiously shout the lyrics like he would when you guys went on drives together. He would roll the windows down, blast the volume and just let it all out.  At first you were annoyed with the boy, but as soon as he nudged you with his elbow you began shouting the lyrics as well. At that moment, things felt normal. Like nothing bad happened between them, and that scared you shitless.

When the song ended, JJ turned down the volume and began to speak, "you know, I never took your school photo out of my wallet. It's still there. And every night after... we broke up, I would just look at it and cry. Because I drank and I ended up losing the best thing I ever got in life. And believe me I know drinking is no excuse for what I did. I lost the one person that understood me more than my other friends, than myself. And I fucked it all up. And I know I can't take back what I did. Saying sorry won't change the hurt I made you feel. But I want you to know I'm truly trying my best to be a different person than who I was before." His voice was shaking as he found it hard to look at the road.

"I can try to forgive you Maybank, but that night has been burned into my memory. And it's gonna take a lot of time before I can forget it." You mumbled, looking out the window watching the trees zoom by.

"I'd wait 100 years if it meant that you would talk to me again." JJ muttered as he pulled into your driveway. "Do you.. want to come in? And like, catch up?" You wanted to punch yourself in the face for your offer, but again you couldn't deny how much you missed him.

JJ was shocked at your words, his mouth slightly open as he nodded his head. You walked into your house and to your luck, nobody was home.

You guys sat in your room, silence filling the air once again. You walked over to a picture frame on the desk and picked it up. The picture was of JJ after he had fallen asleep with his head in your llap. "Remember this night?" You asked as he looked over your shoulder.

"Yeah. I came over to make cupcakes for John B's birthday but we ended up just throwing flour and eggs at each other." JJ laughed loudly, remembering how he would find flour in his hair and ears for days after. "Then we sat on the couch and you laid your head in my lap. I played with your hair until you fell asleep and you snored so loud." You smiled at the memory.

"God I fucked up." He whispered. "Yeah. Yeah you did. When you sat across from me in the booth I wanted to flip my shit. I wanted to go off on you and say something like, 'oh fuck off you piece of shit. You think I care about you? That I give a damn about your feelings? Fuck off.' I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me." You confessed. 

"Damn Y/N. I- I don't even know what to say." JJ said as you faced him. You couldn't help but stare at his lips, the lips you craved so desperately. You hated yourself for this. You hated yourself for making this move, but you leaned in anyway and kissed him. You were taken back at your actions, but your knees nearly buckled at his touch.

JJ gently held the side of your face as he pulled back. "I don't want to hurt you." He said, his words echoing in your head. "I'm desperate. And I'm pretty sure you are too. This is a one time thing until you gain my trust back. But for now, just shut up and have sex with me."

[damn-behzinga]

Not To Blame

JJ OLATUNJI X READER (PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC)

summary - You go to a party with all your friends, the night takes a twisted turn and JJ tries to understand it.

warnings - rape, drugged rape, alcohol, swearing, self blame, 

a/n - if you are a victim of rape, sexual assault, or anything similar to that, I want you to know that you are not to blame and you did nothing wrong. click here for numbers if you need to talk to a professional.

masterlist & request info - REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

You and Talia got ready at Simon and JJ's flat so you could all carpool together. Talia had dressed you up in a tight dress that you had wanted to wear for a while but never had the right occasion.

You and Talia stepped out of Simon's bedroom where you had been getting ready and gave a small smile to JJ who was waiting for the two of you.

"Y/n, you look amazing," JJ whispered and you blushed, giggling slightly.

"Thank you, Jide." You replied and soon the four of you were on your way to the house where the party was being thrown.

You were laughing with Talia, she twirled you and you yelled the lyrics to the song. All the girls were dancing along with you and making you laugh. You pulled Talia close to you and yelled, "I'm going to get a drink."

A man was at the bar, watching you as you yelled your order. 

"Hey there," The man grinned. "Can I get that for you?"

You chuckled dryly. "I can get it for myself, thank you."

"Damn, a beer drinker and independent?" The man whistled. "A woman who's after my own heart?"

You chuckled awkwardly. "I'm not interested, sorry."

"Ah, that's okay. I can convince you that your wrong." The man smirked.

You eyed the man wearily and nodded shakily, gripping your drink tightly as you made your way to the girls. You sipped your drink and got back to dancing. You continued the pattern and every fifteen or so minutes you would go back to get another drink.

You decided to sip your drink at the bar, having gotten tired from the dancing. You were trying to stay awake, tiredness taking over you despite being on your fourth drink. You felt your arms get heavier and you wanted to go to bed. You got off your seat, only to almost fall seconds later but you were caught by the man from earlier.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, a smile on his face.

"I need to find my friends." You slurred.

"It's okay, love. I can take care of you." The man curled his arm around your waist and pulled you up the stairs, stopping to whisper to a friend of his.

Your legs felt ridiculously heavy, dragging up the stairs and into a room. You had no control as you were pushed on to the bed. You started to realise what was happening but you couldn't move, limbs too heavy.

Dom started kissing your neck, leaving sloppy and careless kisses. You were shaking, feeling your limbs wake up. You started sobbing, wriggling from underneath the man who pinned you down by your neck.

"Please-" You sobbed. "I don't want to!"

"Shut your fucking mouth." The man growled, pulling down your underwear and rolling up your dress.

("Have you seen Y/n?")

"Don't act like you don't want it." The man chuckled lowly.

("Yeah I think she went upstairs with Dom.")

You thrashed in his arms as he started rubbing your thighs.

("Really?")

"C'mon, I've seen how you've looked at me." The man grinned a sickly smile that could battle the Cheshire Cat.

("Yeah, she was fucked up. Tripped up the stairs and everything. I recon their in for a good night.")

"No!" You cried as he started touching you in places you didn't want.

("I need to go get her.")

"Shut your mouth!" The man slapped your thigh, making you yelp.

("Dom asked for no one to go up there.")

The man continued to destroy your body as you stared into space.

("If you don't let me through, I will fuck you up!")

You fell limb, accepting the damage to your body as you yelled for him to get off. Tears were streaming down your face and you were slowly falling into a panic attack. The door suddenly opened and you heard footsteps stomp towards the two of you. You looked up to see JJ pull the man off of you.

"She told you to get your fucking hands off!" JJ yelled, punching the man.

You continued to sob, hiccups escaping your mouth and JJ walked over.

"Y/n/n? It's me, can I touch you?" JJ asked. "We gotta get you to a police station."

"I wanna go home." You sobbed and JJ nodded taking your hand and helping you stand up. JJ took off his jacket and placed it around your arms. You pulled your dress down and your underwear up despite your shaking hands.

"Okay, okay, I'm going to help you down the stairs. I'll keep you hidden. Do you want to get Talia or Freya or someone before we leave?"

You nodded, pulling the jacket tighter around your chest. JJ opened the door and helped you down the stairs. You and JJ made your way through the oblivious crowd when you suddenly made contact with Talia.

"Y/n! I was looking everywhere-" Talia noticed the smudged mascara and your face. "What happened?"

"I tried to say no." You whispered causing Talia to gasp.

"I'm taking her home, wanna come with us?" JJ said and Talia shakily nodded.

The two of them escorted you out of the house, trying desperately to stop your shaky legs from collapsing in on themselves. And you got in the back of an uber and tried desperately to stop crying. JJ had the Uber drop the three of you at Talia's flat. You got to her door when she turned to JJ.

"I think we should be alone." She whispered.

"No, I want to help." JJ protested.

"JJ, listen. She was raped. If I was her, I wouldn't want to be in a room with men." Talia explained gently. "I'll let you know if we need anything and I'll keep you updated."

JJ wanted to argue but just nodded. "Look after her." He whispered and hugged Talia before leaving.

You had acted completely blank the next week. You continued going to work, continued posting on social media, you continued living. JJ wished you didn't. He wished you would let it all out but you wouldn't. You had started wearing long sleeves and trousers, JJ didn't fail to notice. He was scared of your deteriorating mental health. 

"What can I do?" He asked the three girls who sat opposite to him. JJ had asked Gee, Talia and Freya to come round so he could figure out how to help you because he wanted to know from a female perspective.

"Just let her know that you're there for her," Freya said. "We've all been seeing her and she's not talking to us."

"She won't. Not yet." Gee said, shrugging sadly.

"She's blaming herself," Talia whispered. "And that's sad. It's scary. It's just something that most sexually assaulted person will go through. Maybe just go round. Ask her what you can do."

"Please, be kind to her." Freya smiled softly. "We all love her so much so this is hard."

"I'll try." JJ nodded. "Thank you."

So, a couple of days later, JJ was at your door with a smile on his face. You welcomed him in and sat him down on the sofa.

"Sorry, we haven't talked. I've been busy." You rubbed your arm.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked.

You inhaled sharply and looked down at your lap. "I'm fine."

"It's not your fault," JJ said carefully.

JJ thought he said the wrong thing but he knew you were in a state of blaming yourself and he needed to get you out. You were shaking and staring into space. 

"Y/n," JJ whispered, grabbing a hold of your hand. "It wasn't your fault."He said, voice firm but the tears making his way to his eyes.

"I tried saying no." You muttered.

"I know." JJ nodded. "He was an evil man. You are not responsible. At all. He drugged you."

"I was wearing that dress." You sobbed.

"So? That doesn't matter. You shouldn't have to care about what you're wearing."

"Jide, I should've been careful." You muttered.

"He was disgusting and used his power as a weapon. You are not in the wrong. In any fucking way." JJ paused, trying to find the best words to say. "You aren't alone. I promise you. I'll be here with you every step of the way because I am never going to leave you."

"Thank you." You whispered. "Thank you so much."

[skywalkersthelimit]

Okay so I'm super nervous to post this but I wrote this one-shot for the #trikey fandom. Ive had this idea for awhile but I finally got around to writing it. It's based off the song Lips of an angel by Hinder. I think its perfect for Michael and Trevor lol so please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy!

Honey, why are you calling me so late?

It’s kinda hard to talk right now 

Honey, why are you crying, is everything okay? 

I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud 

Michael woke up to his phone ringing on his bedside table. He knew who it was before he even looked. He didn’t know how or why because it could have been a number of people. He reached over and grabbed the phone. His eyes squinted from the bright light. Trevor. He was both glad and disappointed he was right but he supposed he might have willed it to be. His thoughts had been filled with his crew mate, best friend and sometimes more, but that was before Amanda and the kids. Well that wasn’t entirely true. Every time they went on a job together, they fell into each other as soon as they were alone in their hotel room. Michael just couldn’t help himself. 

It had been a few months since he had seen Trevor though. He tried to put distance between them. He knew that Trevor had a hard time just sleeping together on occasions and understanding Michael had a family to go home to. Michael wanted nothing more than for his friend to be happy but he just couldn’t be the one to give it to him.

He stared as the phone rang and debated answering but he pictured Trevor’s face the last time he had seen him with tears rolling down his face, begging Michael to stay. His heart clenched and he answered.

“Hello?” he whispered. He looked over at Amanda still sleeping. He had to be quiet. He didn't want to wake her and have her find out who he was talking to. He didn’t feel like fighting tonight. 

“Hey." Trevor’s voice rang out on the other side of the phone. 

“Jesus, Trev. Do you know what time it is?” He flinched as the words left his mouth. He didn’t mean to sound upset but he did. 

Trevor laughed dryly. 

“Oh I’m sorry, Princess. Am I interrupting your beauty sleep? I thought I might call my best friend who hasn’t talked to me in months” he said coldly. 

“Trevor, if you want to talk you can call and you can call during the day.” Amanda moved next to him. He had to be quiet. 

“Works both ways. If you wanted to talk you would have called. But you didn’t.” His voice cracked and ended in a broken sob. Michael hated himself a little more. 

“T, why are you crying? Is everything okay?” he whispered. He wished he was there with Trevor right now. He would pull him into his arms and hold him until the tears stopped like he always did. 

“Speak up M. I cant hear you" 

“I have to be quiet or I’ll wake up-" he let his sentence go unfinished, trying to be careful not to set T off. 

“Ah, of course. Wouldn’t want to wake the Mrs. I’ll let you go." He could hear the anger, the jealousy, the sadness, and the pain in Trevor’s voice. 

“No!” he said rather loudly. He snapped over to look at Amanda, who just turned over on her side away from him. He sighed. “Don’t go. Just- Hang on.” He got out of bed quietly and snuck out the room. He grabbed his cigarettes off the counter and sat down on the couch, lighting one up and taking a deep inhale and exhale. He wasn't supposed to smoke in the house, but fuck it. 

Well, my girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words - it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

“Now tell me what’s going on, Trev. I can't be too loud. Mandy and the kids are in the other room asleep" he explained. 

“I-I don’t know. I just needed to hear your voice.” Trevor replied quietly, his voice soft and tight like he was trying to stop himself from crying. Michael wondered what had him so upset. He had heard he had a boyfriend of sorts from Lester and apparently they’ve been doing jobs together for L since Michael saw T last. When L told him, he saw red. He got wasted and wound up outside screaming and crying at the night sky. Trevor was his, but he wasn't and he never would be. He didn’t want to but he hoped Trevor was calling to tell him he left that guy and to ask when Michael was coming back to work, to him. There was also a chance Trevor was calling because he was drunk and cranked out. Either due to said guy or something else or even for the hell of it. He might be in trouble or lying somewhere drugged out.

“Is it that guy you’re with?” Michael realized how incredibly jealous he sounded but maybe he was. Maybe he missed being on the road, never staying in one place too long. Maybe he missed the thrill of the job, and maybe he missed looking over in the middle of a heist and grinning at Trevor who was grinning just as hard back. Maybe he missed pulling Trevor into a hard kiss as soon as their hotel door shut and having the most passionate nights of his life, and then falling asleep in his lover’s arms. Maybe he even missed the times they just sat on the bed and talked for hours about any and everything. Maybe sometimes he wished it was Trevor who was in the other room, waiting for him to come back to bed. 

“How-how do you even know about that?” Trevor asked, sounding surprised. 

“Lester.” 

“Of fucking course. Well not that it’s any of your business but he's asleep. It ain’t like he’s my boyfriend or anything. You know I ain’t they settling type. There’s only one exception. Fuck. I miss you, Mikey.” He sobbed. 

“Trev-" 

“It's okay. I understand. It’s just so good to hear your voice, Mikey.” There goes that nickname again. A nickname only Trevor called him. A nickname that sounded so sweet coming from Trevor’s lips. Like an angel. A fallen angel maybe. 

“It's really good to hear your voice too T. Mikey. That’s a name I haven't heard in awhile” he said fondly. 

“What, too good to be called Mikey anymore?” T said annoyed. 

“No, not at all. Although you are the only one who calls me that, but I like it.” He felt his cheeks flush and his heart flutter as he spoke. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Now tell me what’s going on please."

“When are you gonna do a job? It’s been months. We miss you out there. I miss you. I-I need you, Mikey. Please come back to me. I can't stop thinking about you. You haunt me every waking moment, and even in my dreams. Do you dream of me?” Hearing those words made Michael feel weak. He almost told Trevor he was on his way, grabbed his car keys and left without a second thought, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t leave his children. He might do a few jobs now and then but he wouldn’t choose that life over them. No matter how bad he craved it, craved him.

It's funny that you're calling me tonight

And, yes, I've dreamt of you too

And does he know you're talking to me?

Will it start a fight?

No, I don't think she has a clue

“Trevor, I-I want to be there. You know I do, but I got Tracey and Jimmy to think about, but I think about you too. All the time. Especially lately. It’s funny you called. And yeah, I’ve dreamt of you too T.” He didn’t know why he was being so open about this, about whatever it was between them, but hearing how broken Trevor sounded and how it matched how he felt inside, he knew they both needed to hear it. To hear that Michael cared about him, that he missed Trevor just as much as he missed him. 

“Oh yeah? What’d you dream about, cowboy?” he asked and Michael could picture his thick eyebrows wagging. He laughed, genuinely laughed. Something he hadn’t done since the last time he saw Trevor. 

“It wasn’t like that. Well not all like that.” Now it was Trevor’s turn to laugh. 

“Tell me.” He told Michael. 

“We were in a nice house, our house. We were happy.” He whispered, afraid of the way his dream made him feel. He didn’t want to dream of Trevor, of their future that would never be. He wished he could let Trevor go, but he didn’t think he ever fully would. 

“It doesn’t have to be a dream, Mikey. The kids can be in your life, our life.” Trevor pleaded. Michael had to change the subject before he agreed. 

“What about that guy you've been seeing? Does he know you’re talking to me? Won't he get mad?” 

"I told you he's not my boyfriend. I don't care if he gets mad, but no, he doesn't know I'm talking to you. He doesn't know anything about you except you're the great Michael Townley, expert thief. He actually wants to meet you." Trevor laughed dryly at that. "What about Amanda? Does she know you're talking to me? Does she know anything?" 

Does she know anything, meaning does she know when Michael goes away to work he all but forgets about her? Does she know that his nights with Trevor are filled with more passion than their whole marriage has ever seen? Does she know that Michael's heart will never fully belong to her?

"No, no I don't think she has a clue, Trev." He sighed. The guilt constantly ate at him and he tried so hard to be the husband she deserved, the father his children deserved, but he never would me. He belonged to the game, to Trevor, but it didn't matter. How he felt didn't matter, couldn't matter. He would push his feelings down to the bottom of his heart with a smile. 

"Mikey. I miss you so much. So much it hurts. I can't get you out of head, out of my heart. I've tried drugs and alcohol. I've tried fucking anyone in sight and even getting a wannabe you, but nothing works. I've tried telling myself you're better off with her, but you're not. You're miserable and so am I. Please just do the best thing for you, for us." He begged through sobs. Michael could hardly make out what he was saying.

He felt tears rolling down his face. He felt Trevor's words stab his soul. He tried to drown Trev out too. He drank so much even he was worried. He smoked several packs of cigarettes a day. He went to strip clubs almost every night and almost every time he brought one of the girls to his car or a hotel for a quick fuck. He just wanted to feel numb, to never know the pain of loving someone you could never be with. What was that saying? It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. He wasn't sure if he agreed, but inevitably he did. He would feel this pain a thousand times just to know what it was like to love and be loved by this man. What it felt like to lay in his arms as he rubbed his back and kissed his head. He couldn't give that up. He wasn't ready for that. 

"I'm gonna call Lester tomorrow and get a job set up. I'll let you know where to go. Everything will be okay. I'll see you in a few days. I promise. Okay?" 

"Yeah okay, but what about-" Michael cut him off. 

"We'll talk about everything then." He knew he was lying and Trevor probably did too. They both knew he would never be able to leave his family and that pretty little white lies would have to suffice them. 

"Okay Mikey, I'll see you in a few days. And you better show up" he threatened, half jokingly. 

"I'll be there, Trev. And Trev?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Next time call me during the day" he said chuckling. 

"Yes princess. See ya soon Mikey." He said before hanging up. 

Trevor just makes it too hard to be faithful and Michael was weak. 

[papergirllife]

The Heartbreaks That Led To You.

Zhong Chenle.

Being the daughter of a millionaire was hard. Other than going to formal functions every other weekend.

This Saturday's event was as usual grand in every aspect. My father always brings me to these formals so that I could ' socialise ' with their sons so that he could secure his deals more fluently.

After talking to the business men my father introduce me to, I went to look for my boyfriend.

" Joy, have you seen Jason? "

" I think he went to the garden's direction. "

" Okay, thanks. "

I walked out to the garden to see fairy lights hung from tree to tree, illuminating the night sky in a soft glow.

I heard voices behind some tall bushes on my left. I walked along the plants to see that a gazebo with brightly lit lanterns sat behind the hedge.

What made me stop in my tracks were the people sitting in the gazebo.

It was Jason and a girl I didn't know, and they were making out.

I quickly ducked back behind the tall hedge before they could see me.

I walked back to the banquet hall with my head hung low.

It wasn't the first time my boyfriends cheated on me, they usually date me just for the sake of my father's wealth, not for me as a person.

I stopped in front of the large mirror of the hallway.

I'm not drop dead gorgeous, but I'm not ugly either. Then why do all the guys I date still replace me as easily as wearing new clothes?

Loyalty is even rarer than diamonds these days. At least my puppy, MinMin still thinks I'm the best.

I saw Joy by the bar and walked up to her.

" Can you tell my father that I suddenly felt ill and went back home? "

" You looked fine just now. "

" Jason's cheating on me. "

" Do I need to hire a hitman for you hun? "

" No, but thanks. I'm used to this by now. "

" You want me to come with? "

" No, it's fine. You should enjoy the party. "

" Call me when you get home okay? "

" Will do. "

I downed a glass of whisky before exiting the venue.

I took my phone from my Gucci clutch, dialing the number one on my speed dial.

" Hello? "

" Chenle? Can you come pick me up? It's a code red. "

" A name like Jason is always a douche bag, Y/N. Don't be so sad about it, he wasn't hot anyways. "

" I know, that's why I need you to cheer me up now. "

" Be there in 10. "

" 10? How fast does your driver drive ? "

" I just got my license. See you there. "

He hung up before I got to question his driving skills, guess I'll just have to see for myself. Just hope that we don't crash.

It rained as I waited for Chenle to pick me up. I cursed at myself for not bringing an umbrella.

A white coloured Tesla stopped at the parking lot as my phone rang.

" Wait for me at the lobby. The floor's too slippery for your heels. "

" It's fine Chenle...

" No buts. "

He hung up before I could argue further with him.

Chenle stepped out of the driver's seat, a large umbrella in hand.

" I bought your favourite snacks before I came. Hop on. It's too slippery for your tiny Jimmy Choos. "

" It's fine Lele. "

" No it's not. Now get up before you get a cold from standing out in the cold this long. "

I climbed up onto Chenle's warm welcoming back.

" Take the umbrella Y/N. "

Chenle walked towards his car carefully and opened the passenger door. Instead of telling me to step down, he laid me down the seat slowly, even making the effort to check if my dress was all in the car before closing the door.

Suddenly it felt Chenle wasn't my friend since forever, rather an angel sent from haven for me at moments like these.

' Stop having these thoughts Y/N. You've known him since your diaper days, he's just like a brother. ' I thought to myself.

" Give me your phone. " Chenle said as he settled into the driver's seat.

I handed him my phone wordlessly, thinking he just wanted to check the traffic condition on the application in my phone.

Instead he did the unthinkable.

" Hello? Is this Jason? Y/N will never see you again. I will be sending back all your belongings first thing tomorrow. And for your wellbeing, do not let me see your ugly face. "

I looked at him, dumbfounded that he did something so extreme. He never did anything like this before, yes he was sad and understanding when I went through break ups, but never calling and mind you, threatening any of my exes.

He drove the car silently, only the radio playing in the background softly. I didn't dare to question him.

Chenle opened the door to his unit, ushering me into house cosy home. The view of Seoul's night sky greeted me, no matter how many times I've seen it, it still seems breathtaking to me.

I walked into Chenle's bathroom to wash up for the night, he bought a replica of everything I use at home for us to have sleepovers.

In many ways Chenle's condominium felt like a home more than the house I grew up in, I have always felt a sense of security here.

After washing up, I slipped into one of Chenle's sweaters, hanging my dress in his closet.

I padded to Chenle's bed and slipped under the warm blankets. Not long after, I felt Chenle climbing into bed.

His warm presence of body heat made me drift off to sleep in peace.

I woke up in cold sweat, the scene from tonight replaying in my dreams in an endless cycle.

I slipped out of the expensive blanket, taking shakey steps to the balcony, sitting cross legged facing the illuminated night sky of Seoul.

I looked at the vast city below me.

' Is there really no one made for me in this populated metropolis ? '

Suddenly, soft footsteps interrupted my 3 a.m. thoughts.

" Why are you out of bed ? " I turned around to see Chenle taking a seat next to me.

" Bad dreams. "

" You shouldn't sit on the cold marble floor when the heating isn't turned on. "

" It's fine. "

I leaned my head on Chenle's shoulder, embracing the warmth he was emitting.

" You don't have to keep telling me you're fine when you aren't, Y/N. "

I didn't know what triggered me. Maybe it was Chenle's words or just the feeling of loneliness, but I started breaking down.

I didn't know when, but when I looked up from sobbing behind my hands, Chenle already had his arms wrapped around me.

" It's okay. I'm here. "

" Why don't any of the guys I date stay, Lele? Am I that ugly ? Am I not a person who's nice to be with ? "

" What? No! How can you say that ?! "

" Then why are every one of them walking out of my life ? "

" Y/N, you date guys who are heirs of leading companies in the world. Yes, they're rich. Yes, they can give you the financial security you had your whole life. As well as all the Diors and Chanels you want. But they can never, ever give you loyalty. The one thing that doesn't cost a cent. If you ask me, loyalty is as rare as the pink diamonds in your mom's safe. "

" Does that mean I'll end up lonely and single like my great aunt ? "

" Y/N, just because the guys you meet at your father's parties are trash, doesn't mean the whole male population is. You want a guy that can give you all the Guccis in the world and his loyalty, your exes can't, but I can. "

At his sudden confession, I stopped my crying out of shock.

" Chenle, I...

" No. Don't. I know you don't like me. I've always loved you, since we were kids. Fuck, why did I even tell you that ? "

Chenle pulled away, his warmth slipping away as well.

He curled up into a ball, his back facing me, he was heaving sobs as bad as the ones I had the few hours prior.

My heart felt a crack from what was playing in front of me. That's when I knew, it's always been Chenle.

The times we laughed and cried together, the good times and the hard, the feelings we felt. We were meant to be together.

Now I feel utterly stupid. Instead of chasing fuckboys , I should've realised who I was leaving behind.

" Lele. I love you too. "

He looked up, he looked at me with doubt in his eyes.

I scooted to his spot and hugged him close to me, closer than the many other friendly embraces we had.

I tighten my arms around his waist, and planted my head on his shoulder, to let him know that I'm not leaving, never again.

" It'll take time to adjust from a friendship to a relationship, but I'll prove it to you. "

" You don't have to, Y/N. I think you'll stay this time. "

I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and wiped the tears on his face.

" Can you do me one favour though ? "

" Depends. "

" Stop wearing bucket hats when you're with me. You look cute in them, but your face just gives me the uwus. "

" Only if you'll stop calling yourself ugly. "

" I'll try. "

" Don't worry. I'll always be there too reminde you how beautiful you are. "

" I bet I look like crap now from all the crying. "

" Still no. Now let's get some sleep. My cleaners are going to clear out the trash in your house tomorrow. "

" I want cuddles. "

" And cuddles you'll get. "

Needless to say your ex woke up to his things being stored in trash bins along with a rotten fish or two stuffed between his clothes.

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Thirty-Two: Forever in Life & Forever in Valhalla

Chapter Thirty-one

Word Count 3.3k

Warnings: heavy angst, mentions of blood

Ivar's Pov:

I look up and I see my wife flying straight towards the castle. Hvitserk is riding fiercely beside my carriage while Ubbe is running with our army towards the gates of Wessex. I try to stay focused and stay strong but all I can think about is Y/n and her safety. She is four months pregnant and my heart is pounding in my chest, knowing how close she is to the castle. Hvitserk looks up as Neith flies overhead and he hisses.

"What is it, Hvitserk?"

Hvitserk "Jus-trying to stay focused. Where is his army?!" He shouted to me as we continued riding towards the gate. I look around and cannot see anyone coming from either side of us. 

"Something is wrong." As soon as I said that, I heard Ubbe shouting once he reached the gate. I look ahead and I can see spears coming out of the castles rooftop, straight towards Y/n. 

"Y/N!" I scream for her as the first spear pierces Ryuu. He screeches as it pierces his rough skin and I can hear Y/n scream for her boy. 

Hvitserk "Y/N!" He screams for her as Ryuu gets targeted with more spears. As all of this is happening, the spears continue to shoot from the rooftops but they miss Neith and Eldr. The two dragons flame the rooftop, soon ending that attempt. I watch Ryuu slowly heading to the ground with my pregnant wife on his back in absolute terror. My life flashes before my eyes once I see him hit the ground. And what she said to me before we left for battle, comes to my mind: "Nothing is going to happen to me, my beloved. We have his weapons. There is no way he can win." Hvitserk hits his horse as hard as he could to make the horse go as fast as possible towards Y/n. 

Ubbe "GO IVAR! I'LL WAIT FOR YOU, GO!" I agree and head for her. I fear what I will see once I get to her. Every possibility goes through my head but not what I actually saw. 

Hvitserk dismounts his horse and runs to Ryuu who has more than five spears in his neck and body. It breaks his heart to see this dragon that he has come to love, dead before his eyes. Yes, this is heartbreaking, but Y/n's life is on the line. Where is she? When I get to Ryuu, I get out of the carriage and walk as fast as I could to where Hvitserk is standing.

"Hvitserk.." He does not respond, only falls to his knees and screams at the top of his lungs. I knew as soon as I heard my brother that she was gone. But I had to see her for myself. When I got to her, Y/n had a spear pierced in the center of her chest and half of Ryuu's body on top of her. Hvitserk is trying to pull her lifeless body out from underneath her dragon so that he can hold her. It feels like my soul has left my body and my heart has stopped beating. I try to walk to her but collapse to the ground in grief and agony. I break down and let my emotions take over as I scream out for my wife. Hvitserk grunts as he cries, endlessly trying to get her out. 

"You're not going to be able, brother."

Hvitserk "WE'RE NOT LEAVING HER!" I cry out so loud that I cannot catch my breath. Everyone that I have ever loved, has died. What do I have to live for now? Minutes later, she is out from under Ryuu and is in my brother's arms. The spear is still in her chest when Ubbe joins us. 

Ubbe "Ivar..no..NO!" He runs to Hvitserk and falls to his knees. He cups her cheeks in his hands, trying to wake her up but it is useless. He slowly takes the spear out of her chest and she begins to bleed profusely.

"She's gone! They-they are gone!" I try to talk again but I hear our men scream out. His army has been unleashed and the battle has officially begun. "I can't..I-"

Ubbe "Go, take her."

"I ca-...I can't carry her." I weep.

Hvitserk sniffles and picks Y/n up in his arms and places her in my carriage. A small blood trail slips from the corner of her lips. Hvitserk stops before me and pulls me into a hard embrace.

Hvitserk "If I don't return, just know that I am joined with her in Valhalla."

"Brother-"

Hvitserk "Go." He runs with Ubbe and I get into the carriage with Y/n. When I began to head for the boats, I hault. I look down at my dagger in my pocket and I take it in my right hand and look down at my wife. 

I bend down and kiss her brow as the world burns around us, "I'll see you in Valhalla, my love." And without a moment to waste, I forced my dagger directly into my heart and woke up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I awake, I bolt upright and start hyperventilating. I look next to me and I see my beautiful wife, sleeping peacefully beside me. I immediately break down into tears. That dream felt so vivid and so real that it amazes me that it was only a dream. 

Y/n "Ivar?" Her voice raspy. I don't say anything, I just fall backwards against the bed and pull you into my chest and continue to sob. She holds onto me and lets me ride it out before she spoke to me. 

Y/n "Hey..what is it? I have never seen you like this."

I snicker "I have cried many times but you were not awake to see it."

Y/n "Please talk to me, my love. You know that you can tell me anything."

I sniffle and take a huge deep breath before explaining my dream in full detail. Y/n listened intently and held my hand the entirety of the story. 

Y/n "No wonder you woke up like this.."

I chuckle, "Yes. It felt so real I just...can't even express to you how grateful I am that it was only a dream."

Y/n "It was only a dream, Ivar. I'm okay, Ryuu is okay. The battle is not for a few more days. So do me a favor and breathe." I did not even realize that I was holding my breath as she spoke. 

"I love you. I love you...I love-" she crashes her lips to mine to stop me babbling on. This kiss is what I needed to stay sane, to come back to reality and out of that nightmare. 

Y/n pulls away, "And I love you, Ivar Lothbrok."

"Lothbrok...I'-I've never heard anyone call me that before."

Y/n "That is your name, my love. You are not boneless to me, so why should I call you boneless? To me, you are my husband and you are whole." My breath hitches and my throat starts to burn as tears fill my eyes. I have never loved any woman as much as I love Y/n. She is my absolute world, my best friend, my happiness, and my strength. 

"You...you are incredible."

Y/n "As are you, beloved." I kiss her lips softly before she deepens it. My tears sook dry as she continues to kiss me. My hand finds her jawline and I begin to rub small circles on her soft, doll-like cheek. 

Out of breath, "Can I?" She smirks as she giggles.

Y/n "If you wish, my king." That was all I needed to hear before I crawled towards the end of the bed to meet her core. 

"Since I had that nightmare, I am taking my time tonight princess." I watch as her eyes roll to the back of her head once I kiss her. And she purrs for me to continue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Ivar end up spending the rest of the day in bed. Not even coming out to eat so maidens come in to bring food to us. 

"Is everything alright, my king?" The girl asked.

Ivar "Ah yes, thank you." He said, taking the food from her.

"Anything I can do for you, my queen?"

"No sweetheart, thank you." She bows quickly before walking out of the chambers. 

Ivar chuckles, "I wonder what my brother's are thinking."

"I don't know, nor do I care much to know. I am enjoying this time with my husband." He smiles and kisses your cheek as you take a bite of food. 

Ivar "You know what we should do tonight?"

"Hmm?"

Ivar "Go to our place."

"At night?"

Ivar "Why not. We can start a fire and get warm by the waterfall."

I smile, "That sounds wonderful, my love."

Ivar "I think so too, princess. I just think that we need to go to our place today. It brings the both of us so much peace, am I right?"

"You are. What if we bring Ubbe and Torvi and Hvitserk! They can enjoy our place with us!" You got so excited at the thought and you can see Ivar crack a smile as his eyes start to sparkle.

Ivar "I think that would be fine, my sweet."

"Yay!" You clap your hands together and your husband laughed pretty hard, "I'm so excited!"

Ivar "I adore you so much." You gush and kiss his lips. They taste like ale and beef but you do not have a care in the world.

"I love you."

Ivar "Always."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hvitserk ends up knocking on your chamber doors, asking if you were both alright. Ivar allows him in and he sits on your side of the bed, next to you and holds your hand like he always does whenever he gets the chance. 

Hvitserk "So what is it? Why haven't you two gotten out of bed, hmm?"

Ivar sighs and opens his mouth to speak, "I had a nightmare, Hvitserk. We just wanted to spend as much time together as possible today."

Hvitserk "What kind of nightmare?"

Ivar "I do not want to think about it any longer. So when I am ready to talk about it, I will tell you."

Hvitserk "It was that bad?" Ivar only nods, "was it a vision or only a nightmare?"

Ivar "A nightmare. Because the weapons that were in my dream, we have in our possession."

Hvitserk "It was of the battle.."

Ivar "Yes brother."

"Well let's not talk about this anymore. Ivar and I are going to our place tonight and we would like for you and Ubbe to join us." You squeeze his hand in excitement. He looks at Ivar before accepting this invitation or not.

Hvitserk "I would love to, Y/n. Ivar has only told me of its beauty so I look forward to seeing it for myself." You bounce up and down in bed and watch both of your boys burst out laughing. That is one of your talents, you see: distracting them from themselves with humor. 

Hvitserk "I will go inform Ubbe and Torvi." He got up but before leaving, he kisses your forehead and then walks away. 

Ivar "He seems excited."

"As he should be! It's a beautiful place, my love."

Ivar "I know. I am glad that it is ours."

"Me too, Ivar." He leans down and kisses your lips before getting out of bed himself. You can't help but admire your husband as he gets dressed. He is the perfect amount of muscle and beauty that he can take your breath away but only looking at him. You watch as he covers up his tattooed chest with his thick shirt for the wintery air and his legs with his armor so that he can stand without them giving out on him. You get out of bed to help him with the finishing touches of his armor because he can't put himself through the pain himself.

"I'm sorry, my love." You say as you secure his knees in place. 

He grunts, "No no, don't apologize."

You sigh, "I hate having to hurt you like this.."

Ivar "You are not hurting me. Think of it this way, if you don't help me with my armor, then I will be in even more pain than I am in right now because I would have to crawl my way through the house."

"Well that helped me get through this.."

Ivar smiles, "And you help me get through everyday, my little princess." He caresses your cheek, "I love you more than anything else in this entire world, and do you know why?" You look deep into his eyes, waiting for him to continue. "Because you are my world. You and this little daughter of ours." He holds your belly and rubs it softly.

"We love you more than life itself, Ivar. You are our world too. Never forget that, okay? Promise me." When you said those few words, he got flashbacks from his nightmare and all of the moments that you were on your deathbed. His stomach turns in his gut and his hands start to shake. His eyes fall to the ground and he loses his sense to speak for a few moments. 

"Ivar.. hey?" You raise his face with your hands. 

Ivar "S-sorry..yes I promise." He staggered. 

"You worry me, Ivar."

Ivar chuckles, "I must say, you worry me too."

"Why.."

Ivar "I have seen you die..I have seen you so beaten, so broken that you were unrecognizable. Do you understand how hard that was for me? To see my wife in so much pain and I couldn't do a thing to take it away from you? Y/n, you are the only person that keeps my heart beating! So yes, I worry about you. You are almost four months pregnant and are approaching battle.." your heart breaks in your chest, hearing the worry in his voice. So you decide to pull him into your arms and just hold him for a while. You do not know how long you held each other but it was a good amount of time. 

"Our future is bright, my king. The gods are with us, always. So look at me," he looks into your eyes, "We both need each other to survive. You need me and I need you. So let's just try our hardest to live, and if we do not, then we will live forever in Valhalla."

Ivar lets a tear slip from his eye, "Is that our new saying, Forever in Life and Forever in Valhalla?"

You smile, "Yes it is." You lean in and kiss his lips. 

Ivar "Now, let me dress you." You giggle and get off of his lap so that he can stand to help dress you. Being able to talk about life and death with your husband is one of the greatest gifts of this marriage. It is so simple and so easy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ubbe and Torvi already have their furs on when you and Ivar get to the hall. Ivar holds your hand as you both approach them with his head held high. 

Torvi "There you are!" She rushes over to hug you softly.

"My apologies..long morning."

Torvi "Do not apologize. I can't even tell you how many times Ubbe and I just stayed in bed and did nothing."

Ubbe "That is before we had little Ragnar, of course." He chuckles.

Ivar "Ah yes, that little monster..speaking of, where is my nephew huh?!"

Torvi smiles, "He's down for his nap." Ivar nods and puts the fur cloak around your shoulders.

Ubbe "I must say, I am surprised about the invitation."

Ivar "Well it is time for a little change so we would like to show you our place."

Torvi "We thank you, Ivar. We are excited."

Ivar "Where is Hvitserk, huh?"

Ubbe "Waiting by the horses. We should go, before it gets too dark to travel."

Ivar "Very good, lets go."

…

You sneak up behind Hvitserk and wrap your arms around his waist, shocking him a bit. 

Hvitserk jolts, "Gods.."

"Gotcha!" You giggle. He turns around and picks you up, spinning you around for a second.

Hvitserk "Don't do that! I could've-"

"No you wouldn't have.."

Hvitserk sighs, "I love you, you know that."

"I do, and I love you too." You look up and get an idea when you see Neith. 

Hvitserk "What?"

"I'm going to ride Neith to mine and Ivar's place."

Hvitserk "Okay, you sure? You can always ride with me or Ivar."

"I know, I want to. And Neith needs to fly, look at her!" He snickers and then looks at the dragon, flapping her wings up and down, begging to fly. 

Hvitserk "Alright, go on. I'll see you there." He kisses your forehead and helps you onto Neith. Ivar watches you take off and asks Hvitserk why he let you go, so he explains why. 

Ivar "Alright well she is going to beat us there..we must get going." They rush to follow you. Ivar looks up into the sky and screams, "That's my wife!" You look behind you and smile when you find him riding in his carriage. He is your biggest supporter and your biggest idol. You hum to yourself, then look ahead to find your place. It only takes you a few moments to reach your destination but it takes Ivar and the rest of them about 15 minutes. When they arrive, you smile.

"Slow pokes." You say, petting Neith's snout proudly.

Ubbe chuckles, "When you wish that you had your own dragon.."

"Never say never, brother." His face brightens up as he hears you. Ivar walks up to you and kisses your lips.

Ivar "You looked good up there, you know."

"I heard you too, that was sweet."

Ivar "Hey, I'm a proud husband."

"And I, a proud wife."

Torvi "Alright lovebirds, show us around!" You and Ivar gladly show Ubbe, Torvi and Hvitserk around your perfect place. Torvi's mouth was ajar the entire time. Ubbe was so fascinated and Hvitserk just had a huge smile on his face, seeing you so happy. 

Ubbe "No wonder you came here all the time, Ivar. It's perfect." Ivar smiles as he wraps his arms around your waist.

Torvi "I've never seen such a beautiful place."

Hvitserk "You have to take your daughter here, Y/n. She's going to love it."

"Oh I will. She will grow up in this peaceful place and one day she will find her own place with her love." You look up at Ivar from behind. He gushes and kisses your cheek.

Torvi "I love seeing you two." Ivar chuckles. 

Ubbe "She's right, brother. We've never seen you so happy."

Ivar "Thank you Ubbe." He pats his brother on the shoulder before leaving to gather wood for a fire. Hvitserk helps Torvi find the perfect place for it while you and Ivar relax by the waterfall. 

Ivar "You had a good idea bringing them here, my love."

"Thank you. I knew that they would love it."

Ivar "I can't wait to bring our little princess here one day."

"Yeah." You look down and rub your belly. Neith looks at you and squeaks. "We love you too." She blinks, then lays her head down on her paw to rest for a bit. 

Ivar "So this is what a happy life looks like?"

"Yes it is." 

The night ends with you all sitting by the fire, talking and laughing. It made you realize how grateful you are for this new life that the gods gave to you. Everything will be okay, everything will be perfect.

@hvitserkmarcosource @youbloodymadgenius @ivarsgoddess @a-mess-of-fandoms @herestherealproblem @saldelys @heavenly1927 @ivarzeitgeist @conaionaru @readsalot73

[etlunainmorte]

Part 3 - Nero

***

***

To your utter confusion, Nico was quiet all day. In fact, not a sound could be heard inside the house that one bright and sunny morning.

Sure, Nero taught her to do useful things. He even taught her how to behave properly in front of his friends and guests. Not to mention the many, many hours he spent with her in order to teach her what he proudly called, some "world - class skills".

Despite all that upbringing, Nico sure had a big mouth to show, and that boundless energy to boot. She's still as rambunctious as the rest of her kind. And most importantly, she's still trying her very best, on a daily basis, to bully that poor newspaper boy who was always dropping by your house.

Needless to say, you've been so accustomed to living with these two, and you're so used to their noises and their quirks.

However, to your utter confusion, Nico was quiet all day. In fact, not a sound could be heard inside the house that one bright and sunny morning.

Even her tiny traces could not be seen.

For a small and energetic dog such as Nico, she sure tried her very best to not slather you with her saliva that same morning. And that, nonetheless, bothered you.

"Nico!" You called for the third time that morning as you got out of bed. "Come here, girl!"

You've waited for, at least, three more minutes, and when she still didn't come to you on your fourth call, you instantly felt the stab of loneliness come back to haunt you. Nero, who typically doesn't start his day - to - day routine without having a hearty and healthy breakfast with you first, was nowhere to be found. As soon as your hand felt the emptiness of the side of the bed where he used to lie on, you felt the negative emotions come crashing down upon you once more. It hurt, feeling so heavy deep down inside. It hurt when you tried to hide it from your boyfriend and from your small group of friends. It hurt when you insisted to smile for them to show that you're okay.

It hurt even more to wake up without Nero beside you.

He's,... your everything. His funny antics in and out of the battlefield made you laugh out loud. His boyish smile and his mannerisms made you smile a lot. His sweetness and his caring attitude always made your day, heck, even your whole week.

And with him gone, it hurt. It hurt so,... so much,...

"WOOF!"

Your eyes widened and your mood perked up a bit when you heard the familiar bark, and when you turned around to face the dog, you were so surprised to see her.

Well, seeing her sitting and wagging her tail like that was normal for you.

What you did find surprising about her was the (F/C) - colored balloon tied on her yellow leash.

Wait a second,...

"WOOF!" Nico barked at you once more, as if trying to tell you to come to her, and when you did, she hastily stood up and went outside the room. You tried to chase her but, before you could even grab her leash, you noticed a piece of paper lying on the floor next to your feet. And on the paper were some words written using some crayons.

Good morning, beautiful! The words read. And the only name that came up on your head was his.

It was Nero, and he was clearly up to something.

You heard Nico's bark once more. You looked up just in time to see her disappear around the corner.

Then, you found another piece of paper on the ground where the dog went.

Have I told you that, the message read. You picked up the paper and looked in front of you.

There it is again, you thought. Another note.

You are amazing?

Have I told you that,

Your smile can cure cancer?

Did they know that,

Your eyes shine like a million diamonds in the sky?

You giggled at the messages. "Oh, come on, Nero! How cheesy can you get?"

Despite the overwhelming cheesiness, you went on picking up the notes that were left on the ground on your way outside the house.

Did they know that,

Your laugh sounds like church bells?

Have they told you,

That you are the best friend anyone could ask or?

Have they told you,

That you are the best girlfriend in the whole wide world?

Did you know,

That this is not the only surprise I have for you?

You read the words, then you read them again. You looked up, and saw none other than Nero standing not far from the old tree where the orphans used to play hide and seek on. Except that the children were nowhere to be found. Instead, Nico was there standing next to Nero, still barking excitedly.

And Nero? He was holding his uncle Dante's old acoustic guitar.

"Good job for bringing her here, Nico!" Nero said as he scratched the dog behind her ears and gave her some treats. "Here you go!"

You shook your head and smiled as you made your way towards him.

"Is it Valentine's already?" You joked, fully anticipating the surprise he has for you. "And I thought you'd never use - "

But, you were not given the chance to finish your sentence as your boyfriend cleared his throat and positioned his fingers on the strings of the old guitar. He started plucking on the strings for a few minutes, opened his mouth, and started singing.

"With every - hey!"

"What?"

"You are supposed to sit down, (Y/N)."

Nero gestured something with his pouty lips and noticed that he was pointing at the swing right in front of him. He wanted you to sit there as he played the guitar.

Feeling satisfied when you finally did what he wanted you to do, he shrugged his shoulders and breathed through his nose.

Then, he finally began singing.

With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,

I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.

You're an angel disguised.

And you're lying real still,

But your heart beat is fast just like mine.

And the movie's long over,

That's three that have passed, one more's fine.

You admitted to yourself that Nero doesn't have the best singing voice in the world but, you, sitting on the swing as he serenaded you with one of your favorite songs as a couple,...

... it really felt like,...

Will you stay awake for me?

I don't wanna miss anything,

I don't wanna miss anything.

I will share the air I breathe.

I'll give you my heart on a string.

I just don't wanna miss anything.

Your hand automatically went to your chest, clutching it as your heart twitched with the emotions that you tried really hard to hide from him, of all people. You wanted so much to throw yourself at him. How you wanted to cry your heart out and shout at the top of your lungs until you have no more tears left to cry. You wanted so badly to just let your emotions take over your system as Nero sang the song for you.

But, then again, you can't. You don't want to.

And how could you? Not when Nero clearly tried his best to surprise you like this?

Of course, he noticed everything! From your tired, bloodshot eyes, to the huge, dark bags under them. To your ever declining appetite, to the way you must've trembled when you tried to suppress the sobs every night.

He,... noticed everything.

You don't want to give in to your emotions but, then again, how could you not?

I'm trying real hard not to shake, I'm biting my tongue.

But I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,

I feel like I've won, you're my key to survival.

And if it's a hero you want I can save you, just stay here.

Your whispers are priceless,

Your presence is too so please stay here.

Nero's smile did not vanish and his voice did not waver as you finally allowed your shoulders to slump, and your emotions to take over you.

With one hand on your mouth, and your eyes slightly closed, the tears,... finally came flowing out,...

Will you stay awake for me?

I don't wanna miss anything,

I don't wanna miss anything.

I will share the air I breathe.

I'll give you my heart on a string.

I just don't wanna miss anything.

Say my name. I just want to hear you.

Say my name. So I know it's true.

You're changing me. You're changing me.

You showed me how to live.

So just say. So just say,...

That you'll stay awake for me.

I don't wanna miss anything,

I don't wanna miss anything.

I will share the air I breathe.

I'll give you my heart on a string.

I just don't wanna miss anything.

With a few more skillful plucks of the guitar strings, the song finally ended.

And you? You're still crying, yes.

But, at the same time, you were giggling like crazy.

The tears were still falling, yes.

But, at the same time, somehow,...

... you no longer felt sad.

And this made Nero chuckle as he scratched the back of his head.

"That good you cried?" He asked.

"What,... did I just see?" You playfully questioned with a smile as you wiped your tears with the sleeves of your knitted sweater.

"Ah, I was practicing for the Red Grave Charity Concert." He told you. But, of course, you knew that was a lie. "So, what do you think?"

You sat up straight, inhaled through your nose and exaggeratedly breathed out. "I think it's too cheesy."

"Cheesy?!"

"Yes!" You declared at the top of your lungs. Then, you stood up, went towards him and placed your arms around his neck. "And I love it so much."

And before Nero could even complain, you peppered his face and his soft lips with little kisses that made him laugh. He pulled you closer and wrapped you in his arms, not wanting to let you go.

"I should really put up a band next time." He said as he smiled beneath your kisses.

"I won't allow it."

"Why not?!"

"Because you'll get too many fangirls!"

"Aren't you just being jealous?"

"So, what if I' am?"

"HEY, ASSHOLE!"

The two of you looked just in time to see the all - too familiar Devil May Cry Fortuna branch van screeching and careening towards you and only stopping when it was only mere inches away from you, effectively scaring the dog away.

"Hey! Have you still not learned how to drive? You're gonna get us killed!" Nero screamed as the Artisan's head popped out of the window. "And you scared Nico away!"

"If I hear the name of that mongrel again, I swear I'd cook her in a steel pot together with that electric chicken!" The real, human Nico scolded, and when she saw how close you and Nero were, her face contorted in utter disgust. "And, eww! Flirtin' so early on in the morning? Get in the car already! We're so damn late for the Charity concert!"

"Alright! Shut up already! And don't talk about my Nico like that! She's still smarter than you!"

***

❤ You can find Part 1 here. ❤

💙 And Part 2 here. 💙

***

💙💙💙

***

[eboysheartthrob]

The Reason — A Bucky Barnes Romance.

Summary: there's none, actually, I'm terrible at this so I'll just resume for you. Bucky turns up to be face-to-face with his past. Now he must deal with his feelings.

Warnings: teeth rotting fluff, smokin' hot smut, heart stabbing angst. It takes place between Civil War and Infinity war but Bucky is not a popsicle in the end. Mentions of abuse, torture and rape, so be careful and keep your mental health.

Word count: 1300+.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OC and big brother! Steve Rogers/ OC.

A/N: thank you for the love guys! Today was my first day at college so I got really hyped and here's another one. Love and feedback are always welcomed! ❤️❄️

Chapter Two.

Steve once heard Wanda quote one of her favorite authors over her feelings towards Vision. "There seemed to be something tragic in a friendship so coloured by romance", she read out loud for him. And that would also resume what he felt while watching Bucky with his old roommate. Only three days went by, but he loved to have her sleeping over with them. Wanda helped her shop for normal clothes the very next day, but she kept her Hydra uniform just in case of something bad happened. Bucky had been telling her everything about the 21th century since she grew up blinded to anything besides Hydra's tyranny. Nora loved everything new, she would always observe her surroundings with a curious glimmer in her eyes that made her look like a child seeing the world for the first time. And she actually was, indeed. 

Steve liked the way that after every dinner, she would play some good old songs back from the 40's because she knew that would ease Bucky in a more peaceful night of rest. By matters, it eased him too. She would push them both into the small living room to dance, one at a time,  until they were almost breathless; the slow one's was her favorites. He didn't mind waking up to her figure half-sleep-half-awake in their couch, it was funny how her hair was all up and she couldn't barely answer a simple question. She was not a morning person.

By the morning of the fourth day, he woke up a little bit later than usual and headed to the kitchen after a cold shower that helped him get more alert only to find Bucky and Nora giggling in the kitchen. She wore soft pink pajama pants and one of his big henley's because that way she could pretend she was back in the 50's, staying late in his room. Classical piano music was playing softly in his phone, a steady and intense melody as he showed her how to properly flip a pancake on the pan.

"That's it, you got the way now", he said. "Good morning, punk".

"Good morning, Cap", she mimicked, looking over her shoulder and smiling over him.

"Morning".

The day passed slowly and calm. Bucky didn't do the usual Steve's routine, so he would only stay at home, reading, cooking, trying to learn more thing about this century. Now, with his little friend back, he was even more content on just spending time with her. Back in the damned days, there was times he wouldn't speak, mostly after receiving the shock treatment, but sometimes he just didn't have energy for it. Now, when they weren't chatting about nothing and everything, he enjoyed the confortable silent that rulled between them once in a while,

Normally, he felt thankful for everyone around him, but there was spare seconds that more dark thoughts filled his mind, making him feel like he didn't deserve any of this, the place, the friends, his new life. But when Nora would smile at him, he could see that little girl again. Bright eyes and all grins for him, happy to have someone that didn't treat her only like an experiment. Nora has been trough so much, he knows it, she told him everything in the first night when both couldn't sleep and she thought Hydra was coming back for their pet. She was scared they might found him too and she didn't want to ruin his life as it was now. She was afraid of hurting him. Little did she know he was better than ever.

The golden light of the sun setting framed her body, she was curled up by the window sill, lost in her book. Every second, different feelings washed over her features whenever she finished a line. Bucky caught himself way to deep in his observation. Feeling his heart hammer against his chest, he suddenly forgot he had to breath and cleared his throat, turning back to his own book.

In nights that both of them couldn't sleep, they would curl up in the couch together, dim light of a lonely lamp casting shadows around them. He liked to lay his head in her lap to listen to her soft and melodic voice as she chanted the words like a storyteller from the fairytales. She always lingered at him when it was his time to do the reading, cuddled into his side with the weight of his prosthetic arm around her shoulders, she felt safe. She didn't dare to fall asleep when it was his turn to read her bedtime stories, even though her eyelids couldn't take no more. Other nights, when they didn't feel like books, she would open the window for the cold air to sneak in trough the curtains, knowing he liked the fresh breeze. And she sang. Lovely slow songs from the old times and the new ones she had learned days ago, brushing her fingers trough his hair until he fall asleep on top of her. Bucky Barnes was just a big baby, and she loved that on him. How he would aloud only her to have this intimacy when no other could do more then hug him for a split second. She liked taking care of him. She always did.

When Steve got home from his routine, he needed a moment to absorb the scene in front of him. He lingered at the door frame, silently, as he watched Bucky swirl Nora around only to pull her close again. She still didn't get used to dancing, it wasn't something she was good at really, but he made sure to make her as confortable as possible. Taking her feet above his and leading the steps. Their giggles filled the air and the low lights worked their magic, their eyes locked onto each other without missing a blink. Steve didn't want to interrupt them with the subject he have to bring up to his best friend, so he silently made his way to his room and tried to sleep.

The other day, Bucky told him Nora was at the store next to the building, doing daily groceries because she needed to get out alone once in a while to take in everything around her. She was raised amongst technology, but the only information she had was the one Hydra permited. Both the boys were by the window, watching the rush of the city while sipping coffee casually.

"You have feels for her", Steve contested, not daring to eye his friend's reaction. It wasn't a question, and Bucky noticed it.

"Is not like that, punk..."

"Is totally like that, Bucky", he turned. "The way you look at her is the same way I looked at Peggy". There was a hint of melancholy in his voice that made Bucky cringe and squeeze his mug tightly, he knew how Steve missed his girl. Both of them watched as Nora hopped her way back home with two huge bags, one in each arm. Bucky was a fairly reasonable man. Fairly. He tried keep his emotions at bay and often completely ignored them. But when it came to Nora... Well, he just couldn't. She had a big part in his life, still as a mere child, she was there for him at his worst. She had seen his worst only, and yet was good enough to like him innocently. He couldn't help the  feeling of being at home around her.

"I've talked to T'challa recently", Steve admitted.

"The cat guy?"

"The cat guy", the blonde mimicked. "He was talking about how his younger sister would love to work on you. He said she can help taking Hydra from your head. Definitely."

"At what cost?" Bucky questioned, sudden darkness falling to the brightness in his irises.

"You must stay in Wakanda for some time, for the treament. Like... therapy."

He felt the urge to accept the offer without even thinking about it. Something inside his mind screaming he would be a lot safer around Steve, Nora and others if he went to Wakanda. He wanted to accept it, but first, he needed to talk to his best girl, ask how she felt about it.

Nodding, he gave a hopeful look at his friend and turned when the door swung open. The small girl hidding behind the brown bags of groceries, almost tripping on her way to the kitchen. Bucky imediately rushed to her side to offer help and she greets him with the sweetest smile. The smiling fade away when she noticed his serious gaze downing at her. She knew him well enough to bring that together. 

"Something happened?" She asks. Bucky nods and let a long sigh, a faint smile appears to ease her nerves. She felt her heart stop for a moment when he took her hands in his and started playing with her knuckles. Fingers slowly caressing her soft skin. She wanted to know what was that strange sensation in her tummy, like something was causing a havoc in her insides.

"There may be a way of getting rid of Hydra, take them out of my head", her face lit in hope and happines at his statement, but it soon washed over as he restarted to speak. "I gotta be far away for this, for a long time, maybe."

"Where?"

"Wakanda".

She nodded and stepped back, turning from him and tugging her own skirt between nervous fingers. She took a deep breath one, two, three times, and put a huge smile on her face as she turned back. 

"Anything for you to be happy", she dictated.

He was happy, yet afraid lingered there, lurking in his chest. He attatched at her words for a moment. She didn't used any word in the meanings of healing. She didn't even think he was broken at the first place. That thought made his chest heavy again, his heart started to pound intensily. How loving could she be?

Bucky catch the glimpse of what must have been a tear straming down her cheek before she whiped with the back of her hand, he instantly pushed her against him, embracing her until he could felt the sobbing and her shoulders bucking up against his arms. He tried to soothe her crying caressing long stripes across her back with his flesh hand.

"Yankee?", the mention at his old nickname made him chuckle. She didn't said his name or called him by his nickname since she came home with them.

"Yes, ledyanaya printsessa?"

"I'll miss you. Please come back this time". She said, rising her face just for him to take a glimpse at her teary eyes. With his index finger, he swiped them away and smiled fondly, pressing his chin against the top of her head.

"You won't get rid of me easily, printsessa."

[80s-roger]

when love must die: joe mazzello

summary: you're married to joe mazzello for three years; the best three years of your life and the previous three dating and later being engaged. however, since day one of your marriage, you try for a successful pregnancy but they all end up failed. your most successful pregnancy was an IVF one, but the tube baby didn't make it at the last day of the first trimester. 

portray: current joe obv, female reader at 30.

words: 2306

warnings: unprotected sex, fluff, domestic violence experience, argument.

note: there will be part two.

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe was at the set, he'd be back home soon for dinner. The table was ready and you got yourself a pregnancy test. You ran to the bathroom upstairs to finally find out. Plus or minus? You didn't have your period since the last time you had sex with him -almost two months ago- and you were excited if it was because of a fetus growing inside you.

You took the test, sitting impatiently at the toilet's cap, waiting for the result. You wished it was a plus symbol, meaning you're pregnant. Unfortunately, it had just a horizontal line. You were disappointed again. Crying loudly because your husband wasn't home, so you finally had the time to let it all out. You've been praying days and nights to have a baby. It's unfair for you when other women throw their newborns at the litter.

Suddenly the door opens fastly and you were scared to death. You got relieved as you saw Joe looking at you with terror in his eyes.

"What happened?" He asked terrified sitting next to you, placing you in his big arms.

You didn't say a word. The tears wouldn't stop running. He erased them with his fingers, until he noticed the test next to you. He looked at you without saying a word. He took it at his hand and saw it was negative. He threw it at the bin and pulled you closer, rubbing your back.

"It's going to happen. Don't worry." He whispered.

Thankfully, he was really supportive on this. He wants to be a dad as much as you want to be a mum but he is patient and never stresses you on this. You've seen your doctor and he says it's just your nature. Nature? A woman's nature after unprotected sex, is getting pregnant, having a fetus growing at her uterus for nine months and later having it in her arms, breastfeeding it. You can't try forever. There will be someday, you'll reach menopause.

Joe and you walked at the kitchen, ready to eat your dinner. He places you at your chair but you had no will on eating.

"Baby you gotta eat." He said after taking a bite of his portion.

"I'm not hungry..." You sobbed, placing your dish away from you.

"It's probably too early for the test to know..." He mentioned the test, trying to make you feel better.

"It's been almost two months, not two days." You commented, looking at him. Your dinner stopped. It was just talk.

"I'm trying to help here. I know it's hard, but we'll make it." He placed his palm over your hand.

"It's easier said than done Joe. Do you have any idea how terrible I feel?" You whimpered. "We're trying for three years, we'd have a baby by now." You stuttered.

"It's fine Y/N... I'm patient enough to make space for your emotions." he explained.

"Why are you even married with me? I'm nothing but an obstacle to your new family." You pledged. It was so sad.

"You're my family. What are you talking about?" He sat on his knees, kissing your hands. He proposed to you on one knee. Good memories.

"But you want kids. And we lost the older one. Remember?" You reminded him. His eyes darkened.

"I remember. But that does not prevent me from not being with you. I can't even imagine my life without you." He implied and caressed your cheek.

"I love you Joe." You silently wailed and he leaned closer to you.

"And I love you." He toned. "Listen, how about going upstairs and lay? I'll be there in a few, I have to fix the table." He smiled and you nodded.

You closed the door behind your bedroom, changed to your nighty and laid on the bed, calling your mum.

"Hey mum." You said.

"Hello darling, how are you?" She asked. You didn't reply. "Um.." she started. "You tried again, didnt you?" She knew about your lack of fertility.

"Yes, it was negative." You answered.

"What did he say?"  She somehow didn't really like Joe, but Joe didn't give a shit.

"He's nothing but a supportive and patient husband." You nod your head feeling great for being his wife.

"And what are you going to do now?" She curiously asked.

"Try again, I guess..." You implored.

"But you've seen that sex won't help you get pregnant." she decreed.

"And where are you getting with it? Doing medical procedures in cold laboratories?" You gasped.

"Keep that method, it almost happened. Your husband has money to afford it." she had the nerve to instruct.

"It's not only his money, but mine too. We both work. We'll both raise this baby." You corrected her. "I just called you to let you know it was one more unsuccessful try. You won't know about it by the day you'll see me with a baby in my arms." You elaborated and hang up your phone without hearing her answer.

Five minutes later, Joe came to your bedroom. He took off his clothes and went inside your bathroom, taking a shower. It didn't last long and he was next to you, on his towel, around his waist. He sat next to you when his big palms caressed your stomach. That move made you whimper.

"Don't cry, it'll happen." He really is an optimist person. He wiped off some of your tiny tears ready to escape from your eyes. "I don't know if it's the appropriate time, but do you want us to try again? Or should we go for in vitro fertilization?" He gently asked.

"I don't want IVF, I don't feel comfortable there. Only with you." You disclosed and he came closer to your face kissing you gently.

His big hands caressed you everywhere. You looked so tiny beneath him, however it made you feel important. Your hands kept touching his attractive biceps until he removed the towel around him, staying naked on top of you. With one move, he removed your nighty and massaged your breasts, when his face leaned towards your neck, giving you soft kisses. He finally removed your underwear and trusted inside you. His moans were so deep and his eyes locked in you. Your arms, around his neck and his back, giving small nail scratches.

"I love you Joe." You moaned between the thrusts you received.

"I love you too y/n ..." He softly said when you felt him moving deeper. He knew every inch of your body. Literally. He knew how deep you could take him and how much. "Babe, are you close?" He asked making sure you'd finish too.

"Yes..." You moaned kissing his lips.

"Alright, because I am." he caressed your cheek and his moves were sudden and slow, which means he was done inside you, possibly fertilizing you. You came together and after removing himself from you, he wore his underwear and helped you get your clothes too. He covered you with the layers and hugged you tight.

"I hope this time it's happening." You said at his arms.

"Fingers crossed." He smiled at you.

You were the little spoon tonight; Joe was hugging you from behind and you felt protected. This is how he makes you feel everytime you're together. You're just made for each other.

You woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and frightened of your nightmare. You stood up from your bed crying loudly. Joe next to you grabbed a bottle of water, you always have at your stand, offering it. He gently rubbed your back telling you to calm down, it was just a bad dream, it's not reality. But what if it really is? What if you really are infertile? You were on the edge of going insane. He pulled you closer, playing with your hair so you'd eventually return to your sleep.

The next morning, Joe wasn't next to you. He probably went downstairs, making breakfast. You had to get ready and see him at the kitchen. But you heard speeches coming from there as you walked the stairs so you decided to eavesdrop. There was your younger brother Ben talking with him. That's how you actually met each other. Ben set you up.

"How's things?" Ben asked. You didn't really talk to him about you and Joe but Joe does. They are like best friends.

"Terrible." Joe admitted and Ben looked at him confused. "I mean, I love her but we keep failing on growing our family." He explained and took a sip of his coffee.

"How long have you been trying?" He asked preoccupied.

"Since the wedding night, counting three years." He declared.

"I've heard my mother talking with y/n about it but I didn't really pay attention. However, how do you feel about it?" Ben questioned.

"I can't blame y/n about this, it's happening to many women but I also can't see myself without kids." He opened up to his best friend. You instantly felt heart broken.

"And then what? Will you divorce her because of that? She loves you more than anything Joe." Ben explained.

"I can't divorce her. She's my everything. But I also don't want to keep trying. I want to have babies in this big house as soon as possible. I don't want to age." He shook his head broken hearted.

"You do feel sad about it. Do you have any idea how sadder it is for her? A baby is a bless." Ben protested. You wanted to hear more. They'd stop the conversation if you appeared in the kitchen.

"I'm not pressuring her. When we did the IVF, we were sure it'd happen but it died too. How many possibilities does she have when she gets older? Less than they already are." Joe questioned himself. Ben didn't say a thing.

You decided to get inside the kitchen, pretend like you heard nothing.

"Good morning sis." Ben smiled at you.

"Morning Ben." You neutrally said, faking what you thought before. You couldn't hide your anger at Joe's confession.

"Good morning my love." Joe attempted kissing you but you backed off. Both of them noticed your reaction and stared each other confused. "So um, are you okay?" He checked on you.

"I'm perfect." You lied. You're dying inside.

"Maybe I should get going." Ben felt the tense and had to leave.

"Yes you should. I'll take you to the door." You raised you eyebrow at him.

You were with Ben at the door and Joe eavesdropped without being noticeable.

"The next time you'll talk with Joe about my lack of fertility, I'll murder you." You threatened him.

"You know you can't do it sis." He joked.

"I can't, but I can cut your balls and you'll see who's the weak." You aggressively said to him and he didn't say a word.

"Damn sis, okay." He was defeated and left your home leaving you with your husband.

He came out of the kitchen guilty. But it wasn't his fault. You just wanted to throw your weight somewhere else.

"You heard us?" He silently asked.

"Are you joking? Of course I did. Is that what you talk about with your friends outside?" You angrily argued.

"No! He asked me! Besides he's your brother, he can know about it." he pointed out.

"I don't want him to know! I won't even let my mother know from now!" You attacked.

"Fine! But he's my best friend! I want to talk to someone! Why don't you let me do it? I never pressure you so stop pressuring me!" He shouted leaving you at a staring shock.

"I want you to leave right now Joe." You silently closed your eyes pointing at the door. "And tell everyone we can't have kids because I am infertile." You were so ironic.

"Where will I go? Are you kicking me out of my home?" He concede.

"Yes I do and don't come back. I'm angry." You walked inside the kitchen and he followed you.

"But you'll be over it by evening." He calmly said.

"No I fucking won't!" You threw him a glass and it accidentally fell down at his feet, with some pieces of glass hurting his arms.

"You arrogant bitch!" He yelled coming to your place menacingly. "You want to kill me now or what?" He raised your hand on you and covered yourself with your arms, afraid if he'd hit you. Flashbacks of domestic violence crossed your mind. Your alcoholic father hitting you in every chance he'd get.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry!" You sat down at the floor, crying loudly and hiding yourself, so he wouldn't harm your body but your arms.

After Joe finding out what he was doing he shockingly moved his arms and sat in front of you, getting you inside his arms. He started crying too.

"I am sorry y/n, I didn't mean to do it! I'm just so sad." He whimpered at your neck.

"Please Joe, divorce me. I can't keep making you unhappy." You cried at his chest, avoiding the eye contact.

"I can't do it. I love you, I'm literally attached to you, mentally, emotionally and physically. I just can't." He kissed you. "We'll find some way to fix it. We can do it, I know." He silently cried, hiding his voice cracks.