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kenjakusbrainstem · 2 years ago

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Examination (Kenjaku x Reader)

Contains: Medical kink, gynecology exam gone sexual, vaginal fingering, Kenjaku as a doctor, dubious consent.

Hello~ Day 12 of kinktober was Medical play, and I have this running fantasy for a few years that goes along this similar vein. Though I've subbed Kenjaku in for the character I normally imagine in this scenario, it's surprisingly fitting for him, don't you think? Crossposted to Ao3 under the same name and shared to twt at kenjakusbrain, comment or reblog if you have anything to say!

You felt uncomfortable as you sat in the examination room. It had been some time since you had visited a gynecologist, as sexual health wasn’t quite at the top of your concern list. It had been some time since you last had a sexual partner, and even then it wasn’t something you looked forward to. That was, in part, the reason for your visit. You had some questions that you wanted to ask, just to make sure there wasn’t something wrong with you.

Along with also being new in the area and going to a new doctor, you wanted to start completely over with this move. Part of that involved making sure you were healthy, so getting back into the yearly exam was just another part of your to do list.

It had been about ten minutes since the nurse had excused herself to allow you to undress and go alert the doctor. The gown you put on made you feel exposed, as you had trouble closing it in the back, leaving a chill to take over your body. You glanced around the room anxiously, hoping that you’d have the courage to ask your questions in a succinct manner.

The sound of the door opening made you jump. You turned to greet the doctor but your voice caught in your throat. He looked very different than you had expected, though you weren’t entirely sure what you expected from a doctor you had known nothing about.

The man was tall, his long dark hair pulled out of his face into a bun but the majority of it still cascaded down his back. His button up shirt looked like it was almost too tight for him, the lab coat he wore over it doing very little to conceal his bulky frame. You almost missed the small line on his forehead, choosing to ignore it as it wasn’t your place to ask about a wound on a doctor, but somehow it seemed to add to his features in such a way that made him more handsome. This doctor was easily the most attractive man you’d ever seen outside of television.

“Nice to meet you, my name is Doctor Kamo, but my patients usually refer to me as Kenjaku. I will be conducting your exam today. Is there any specific reason for your visit?” The doctor, Kenjaku, asked, it seemed he was more of a straight to business man instead of the kind that apologizes for making you wait so long. You didn’t mind though, somehow you were both reassured by his presence and made self conscious by his appearance.

The thought of having someone this attractive touch you, wasn’t something you were ready for. Gathering your wits about you, you let out a breath you hadn’t known you were holding.

“N-not really, I’m mostly just here for an annual exam,” You forced the words out, suddenly too afraid to ask the other questions that had brought you here. Perhaps you could find another doctor to go to with those questions, some old woman that didn’t make you feel strange.

Kenjaku observed you as he began to get ready, washing his hands and putting on some gloves while studying your medical records that had been pulled up on the computer in the room.

“‘Mostly’ sounds like you have other things to say, I won’t press you, but I can’t look for things I’m unaware of,” Kenjaku said as he sat down in front of you. His words weren’t too cold, but they offered little comfort beyond not being forced to answer questions. “Your chart mentions that you aren’t sexually active, is that a choice or is that the nature of the question you don’t have?”

You blinked at the doctor, it surprised you to be read so easily. You know you mentioned that when filling out your paperwork, but you hadn’t expected it to be brought up. Especially not in this way, he mentioned not pressing, but immediately moved into asking more invasive questions. Still Kenjaku’s tone was nothing but clinical, it was his job to make sense of things like this. You probably weren’t the only person he had to pull answers out of.

“I’ve had sex before but it just seems like there isn’t a point to it,” You answered honestly. You were interested in sex, you just didn’t understand what was so enjoyable. There was no urge to have children, all of your previous partners made sex feel like you were there for them to use and move along from. It felt more like something you did for someone else and less like something you felt pleasure in.

Kenjaku nodded, observing you more as you spoke. You felt that somehow he was reading between the things you were saying, not that you’d even said much. It was the way he stared at you, like you were to be studied and not helped.

“Interesting, low sex drive or something else? Low drive can be normal with other factors, if that is the issue. You’re a little too young for some things that can lead to difficulties with sex, have you had any problems that I should look for in my exam?” Kenjaku looked into your eyes as he spoke, his questions making your stomach turn with anxiety.

The question you had intended to ask floated to the forefront of your mind, a faint blush appearing on your cheeks. Averting your eyes you studied the wall behind him for a moment. What was the worst thing that could happen? If you got too embarrassed you could just never come back here.

He seemed like a thorough doctor, even if he were a bit eccentric, he probably could help you in some way. At the very least he could make sure there was nothing inherently wrong with you for the issues you’d been having.

“Well, and please don’t laugh, I don’t have sex because I can’t reach orgasm. Partners have tried and it usually just turns into me faking a reaction and waiting for them to finish. So I gave up, it’s too much of a hassle to try and keep up appearances and no one wants a woman that doesn’t put out,” You explained, looking down in shame. You knew it wasn’t an intentional failing, but you couldn’t help but feel like there had to be something wrong with you.

Kenjaku didn’t laugh, but you could see a glimmer in his eye that made your stomach drop.

“That is more common than you realize. If you don’t have anything else I should know about, please place your feet in the stirrups,” Kenjaku’s acknowledgement felt like it should have been reassuring, but it wasn’t somehow. It was hard for you to find comfort from a man as attractive as him knowing what was about to happen.

The smile that was plastered on Kenjaku’s face felt like it should have been genuine, but there was something off. Even ignoring the strange stitching on his forehead, his handsome features didn’t show anything suspicious.

Doing as you were told you placed your bare feet in the hooks at the end of the bed, adjusting your position. The gown covered you in a way that allowed you to only see the top of Kenjaku’s head, the dark bun in his hair and the stitches you were fixated on. It was probably better that way, the last thing you needed to see was his face as he examined you.

The cold air against your pussy made you shiver, goosebumps forming on your arms in response. Even colder were the gloved hands Kenjaku touched your labia with. The fingers hadn’t startled you, but much to your embarrassment you did feel yourself clench around nothing as he examined you from the outside.

The doctor was being thorough, perhaps too thorough, but it had been so long since you’d done one of these exams you weren’t quite sure what was called for. Kenjaku seemed clinical enough, fingers not lingering, the touch wasn’t sensual at all.

“Things seem to be normal, even your self lubrication seems to be adequate for sexual intercourse. Now hold still, this may pinch a little,” Kenjaku said matter of factly. You watched the bun on top of his head disappear as he leaned back to grab a tool off of the tray he had nearby.

Other than the spoken warning, he didn’t hesitate inserting the speculum inside of you. It was cold, filling you up and spreading you open for him. A small pained noise left your throat, though you did try to keep quiet. You thought you could hear a small chuckle, but it was so quiet you doubted it had even happened.

There was a pause, Kenjaku hadn’t moved and you were trying to avoid squirming, hoping your discomfort wasn’t too obvious. You felt a gloved hand rest on the apex of your thigh, as if to hold you still. Though his hands had felt cold at first, now they felt warm on your skin even through the latex. It was almost comforting.

The sound of paper tearing brought you back to paying attention. You wondered what it could be, until you felt the discomfort of having a cotton swab shoved inside of you. Once it had been removed you waited for the speculum to be removed too, but nothing happened. You wondered if he was going to swab for something else, or look for something else inside of you perhaps.

Before your thought could fully form, you felt his thumb on your clit, not stimulating, just resting there. You froze, unsure if he was just being thorough or if something strange was happening.

“I’m going to run some extra tests. Everything seems in line, you don’t seem to be missing anything in the areas most sensitive, you should be able to achieve orgasm. So long as you have a competent partner,” Kenjaku’s voice retained the same clinical tone he had been using thus far.

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before his thumb began moving in slow circles around your clit. Your hand flew to your mouth, covering it to prevent any sounds from coming out. You couldn’t deny that it felt nice, the latex felt even more foreign than his hand.

Kenjaku watched as you clenched around the speculum that still held you open. The stimulation was so sudden and unexpected, you didn’t know what to do. When you were mulling over asking about orgasming, this had never occurred to you.

As quickly as it entered you, Kenjaku disengaged and removed the speculum from your body. You could feel yourself clenching around nothing, glad that it was gone but almost missing the fullness.

The speed of Kenjaku’s thumb on your clit increased, the sensitive bud very receptive to his touch. It felt like electricity shooting through you, the pleasure was indescribable. You had never spent much time trying anything other than penetrative sex, so this was completely new to you. It hadn’t occurred to you to try something like this for yourself, choosing to assume all sex was the same.

Part of you wanted to express that thought to Kenjaku, that it was just something you had been unaware of and there was no need to continue. What stopped you was the feeling of two thick, gloved fingers entering your tight hole.

It didn’t hurt, especially since he had just removed a tool meant to spread you open, but it did feel big. Kenjaku’s hands were large, something you hadn’t noticed until his fingers were buried inside of you. Instead of thrusting as you had expected, they prodded about, as if he were searching for something.

You opened your mouth to speak, to tell him that he didn’t need to do this, but your words caught in your throat as his fingers brushed up against a bundle of nerves inside you. Hand clamping back over your mouth, you bit into your fingers, using all of your focus to keep the sounds in.

Kenjaku didn’t pull his fingers out after making his discovery, choosing instead to rub against the spot inside of you, making your thighs shake. You could feel just how wet you were getting, the squishing sound of his fingers in your pussy the only thing that filled the room other than the ones you made.

“It seems like you shouldn’t have trouble reaching orgasm now. The only trouble you’d had was just not having an attentive partner, don’t worry though, I’ll make sure to guide you through this one,” Kenjaku said, his clinical voice somehow had become arousing to you. You weren’t sure if it was just the state he had you in or if he had intended to have this affect on you.

A whine left your lips as his hand left your clit, desperate for the attention he’d been giving you. The hand instead pushed up your gown, making it so he could see your face.

You also now could see Kenjaku, nestled between your thighs with his fingers buried inside of you. Never had you thought you’d have a man so handsome like this. Even if you were just another exam to him, you knew you’d never forget the sight of him like this.

Kenjaku winked at you before lowering his face, tongue teasingly licking at your sensitive clit. You had to bite harder into your hand to keep your sounds in. Everything already felt too overwhelming, but his warm tongue lavishing your clit with attention was beyond anything you thought a person could feel.

The sight of him sucking at your clit was something you wanted burned into your mind. A strand of dark hair loose, tickling the strangely attractive stitches on his face. Kenjaku’s eyes, staring up and into yours as he took your clit fully into his mouth and sucked. It was too much, you wanted to look away but his eyes held you still somehow.

His fingers hadn’t stopped rubbing the sensitive spot inside of you, they had moved onto pressing against it. Hand shallowly thrusting directly into the nerves, making your body quiver.

You couldn’t take it any longer, feeling something snap inside of you. Kenjaku didn’t relent as you felt your body overcome with more pleasure than you thought possible. It was as if you were drowning in the way he made you feel, his hands and mouth forcing you to experience something so intense.

As he pulled his fingers from you, you could feel yourself dripping. Kenjaku had made more of a mess of you than you ever could have expected. He sat up slowly, chin glistening with evidence of your first orgasm all over it.

“See? If you tell the doctor what you need, they may be able to fix it for you. Do you feel educated now? Or do I need to have you back for another appointment, just to make sure you’re able to achieve repeat results at home,” Kenjaku’s words were a jumbled mess to you.

Nodding, you hoped he would be willing to see you again. There was no way you would ever pass up the chance to experience something like this again.

#kenjaku #jjk x reader #kenjaku x reader #jjk smut #kenjaku jjk #kenjaku smut #kinktober #kinktober 2023

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crk-kr-to-en · 17 days ago

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I don't know if this is necessarily a translation ask but I was curious if you knew any more of the actual genders of the characters. There's a huge majority of the cookies who use they them or smth else in eng but I've heard a lot of them are mistranlated.

Yeah, the characters have already had an assigned gender before they're released but the Korean text doesn't use any pronouns and heavily infers their gender through voice or the context. An example would be Pure Vanilla who could've been mistaken as a female because his Korean VA is a woman, but the in-game dialogues, he refers to himself as a king confirming his gender is male.

And the cookies who use they/them do have an assigned gender in Korean, which makes the English version headcanons. (I already made a post about that here)

Another is Choco Werehound Brute, with he/she/it pronouns in English, who is also male. (I literally forgot to add the diva of all time.) I've seen that people(Western fans on twt especially)(There's always something wrong with them. It's Twitter.) get offended when other people "dead name" Schwarzwälder because he's "trans", which was never mentioned in the game.(They're heavily projecting and protecting absolutely nothing.) He is also one of the crk characters who are effeminate men. He loves wearing dresses while embracing his masculinity. His name in Korean is Charles which is his REAL name and he hates it when people call him that. The reason why he wanted to be reffered as Choco Cream Wolf Hammerman was because he wanted to sound intimidating and scary. In the episode where he was dresses as a princess, he was simply too deep in the princess act to break character.

This is Charles' Korean description.

새빨간 눈동자, 거친 갈기, 날카로운 이빨! 커다란 망치를 한 손으로 휘둘러가며 쿠키 왕국을 벌벌 떨게 만드는, 이름하여 초코크림 늑대 망치맨! 등장할 때마다 발을 쿵쿵 구르고 자신의 이름을 우렁차게 외치며 화를 내는 바람에, 유난히 가녀린 쿠키들은 반죽색이 하얗게 질려버린다. 지금은 감초맛 쿠키 밑에서 쿠키들을 겁주고 울리고 있지만 진짜 꿈은 케이크 괴물 ��에서도 제일 센 악당이 되는 것. 언젠가는 망치맨이라는 이름처럼 오직 망치 하나 들고 세상을 지배하겠다는 꿈을 꾸면서, 오늘도 노을지는 지평선 너머를 아련하게 바라보며 우수에 젖는다. 이것이 악당의 진정한 로망...?! 사실, 귀족 집안에서 곱게 자라 찰스라는 본명을 가지고 있지만 이미지 관리를 위해 최대한 비밀로 하고 있다.

Bright red eyes, rough mane, sharp teeth! The so-called Choco Cream Wolf Hammerman, who swings a huge hammer with one hand and makes the Cookie Kingdom tremble! Every time he appears, he stomps his feet, shouts his name, and becomes angry, so the exceptionally thin cookies turn white in color. Now he scares and cries cookies under Licorice Cookie, but his real dream is to become the strongest villain among the cake monsters. One day, as he dreams of dominating the world with only one hammer, just like the name "Hammerman," he glances dimly over the sunset horizon and is soaked in glory. This is the villain's true romance...? In fact, he grows up in an aristocratic family and has his real name, Charles, but he keeps it as secret as possible to maintain his image.

I've already seen people (twt ppl again) use the excuse that "Cookies don't have gender," which is wrong because Korean text just doesn't use pronouns for them, but that doesn't stop you from headcanoning them in any way you want them characters to be.

#asks stuff #🤦🤦twt ppl font know how to mind their own damn business unfortunately #and having to use “it” to a person in korean is disrespectful #if someone mistakes your hcs for a character that you like then just *kindly* inform them that theyre using it wrong. jeeez #thats soemthing like “I prefer [insert pronouns] for this character.” its not that hardddd

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otori0 · 11 days ago

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talent and expectations | arturo giles rant

I was really hesitant to post this here, but it has been a while since I've posted an analysis and I feel like Arturo isn't talked enough, so why not. This was written on a twt thread that was meant for me and one friend so it's a bit messy. Also take into account that we're lacking a lot of info on him so none of this is my definitive opinion and I'm sure my thoughts will change and develop when more DRDT releases. And like in all my rants, this is just my opinion and interpretation, and I 100% respect other different perspectives!

VERY messy, very incoherent thoughts and opinions.

Much like David, Teruko, Arei and Ace, among other DRDT characters, Arturo is another example of a person who closed themselves off emotionally to the point of losing empathy because they dont want to face their issues. I feel like the fandom fails to see this because he's the icky one, the one that makes people uncomfortable. There's nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with Arturo's actions, he IS a weirdo, but I think it's a shame that he isn't as understood and talked about as the other characters who fall into this. I would even say that this is a huge part of DRDT's message. You have to open yourself up to others and trust, you have to face your reality, and so on.

Arturo outright denies what happened with his sister because he can't handle the guilt that would come to admit that he had some sort of responsibility over his sister's suicide. If we take his word for it, his sister commited suicide because of him leaving to make his own life (although I don't doubt there's more to it), which he absolutely rejects and denies to the point of threatening Eden. This comes from the extreme distress the situation gives him. He often shows being emotionally closed off, being extremely evasive of his issues, and a lack of empathy constant through the game that is in no small part because of this. Because if you hate and reject others and don't even stop to consider the effect your words has on them, then your mind is at peace and you don't have to face these flaws. It's like they don't even exist- just like Arturo himself says, they're all below human to him. In return, he seems deeply affected by J's rejection and attitude, so it's easy to assume that he is generally affected by other people's actions, just shuts that down more often than not. Arturo is a mess, he's full of contradictions, but this is not all that surprising considering his life until now.

We know that all DRDT characters are over 18, but Arturo is specifically 18. As far as I know, Min has mentioned being 18 on her bonus episode, so considering a few years should have passed, she is probably above 18, or exactly 18. Either way, this makes Arturo one of the youngest, if not the youngest in the cast. And yet, I feel like the fandom fails to see this sometimes and always expect better from him— which is another focal point of his character, in my opinion, and the next point i want to go into. Just like the meme says, I feel like a lot of people have fallen for the character's facade that's meant to be dismantled by the viewer, much like David's lies (I will keep bringing him up bc he's the easiest to compare, but this applies to many other characters, which makes me believe even more that it's the case for Arturo too).

I believe the point of Arturo's characterization is that your talent doesnt translate to actual ability when faced with certain situations, and also, that intelligence doesnt translate to maturity. This is more easily seen in David and his complex relationship with his speech persona and the world as a whole, but that's a different topic that many people have already delved into and not the point of this rant. (I will sidetrack for a second to say that one of my favorite things about DRDT is how you can make some sort of connection between almost any duo of characters, it's really interesting to me how they're all just constantly projecting their issues onto each other despite how much they have in common). But we can still see it on Arturo, especially with his attitude during the trial when he doesn't see himself as able to save Levi, of course he doesn't, he's young and doesn't have the type of experience the others assume he has. Adding to this that Arturo started studying ONLY plastic surgery since he was 12, it's easy to assume that he hasn't grown up normally, even more if he did actually leave his house to pursue his studies. I believe that Arturo's immaturity (despite his intelligence) comes from here.

Part of me hopes that Arturo doesn't get a redemption arc like Arei, I hope he doesnt get redeemed at all, because a lot of people can only sympathise when a character shows the specific emotions they can sympathise with (fear, sadness and regret, mostly) but as soon as they break that mold, there's a lack of willingness to sympathise and understand them (I have a separate rant on my twt priv about how characters who display anger instead of sadness are way more disliked and misunderstood, if anyone wants me to post it I'll think about it, although it's even more personal than this one). I think it'd be more interesting if he takes a different direction, although I'm definitely very curious to see how will Ace's words affect him in the future, and whether Levi lives or dies.

Lastly, although obviously DRDT is a fangan and not an official game, I think it's important to remember one of the core aspects of Danganronpa when discussing DRDT, which is how talents affect people's lives and personalities. This is easily seen in many DRDT characters so I won't go too into it aside from Arturo. We have characters whose whole personalities were shaped around their talent (Junko being the biggest example, but many others come to mind), and I believe Arturo is another example of this that goes unnoticed. Veronika herself has theorized that Arturo's initial slight aversion towards ugliness, before it was an actual issue, was worsened by his talent. Obviously Veronika isn't Arturo, but judging by his reaction and her talent to pinpoint people's deepest issues, we can assume this is true to an extent. This also connects to Arturo's quote about Mai: ''A girl who sees the beauty in everyone''. So there's definitely more to his personality than meets the eye, and as ''weird'' (i hate the use of that word esp in fandom spaces) as he is, I don't think he's all that worse or hard to comprehend than the rest.

My original rant stopped here so I don't really know how to end it. But I hope it was interesting!

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #arturo giles #otori analysis

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syfayelinyourcup · 2 months ago

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First, giving kudos to the twt user here for inspiring this angsty idea to write about! I've seen a couple of movies of where this sort of thing happens to the main character and I wanted to write from Caleb's perspective of how it is for him when he wakes up to not knowing who MC is. Another reference to note is the movie "Momento" as my inspiration.

"She" CalebxMC Oneshot Angst Fic Tags: Memory loss, semi-canon, character x mc, suggestive moments mentioned, upsetting or triggering themes such as violent outbursts/confusion, Caleb's POV Words: 1.9K

"Who are you?"

My brain feels heavy, my vision is in a haze from last night's sleep. One thing, however, is clear: I have no idea who this woman is in my bed or if this is even my room. It doesn't look the same. I panic and look around for anything I might see that I recognize, but I can't recall.

"Caleb?" The woman speaks to me in a soft voice, reaching out to me with kind eyes as if she's known me for years. I cringe, nearly falling out of the bed in an attempt to get away from her. My flight response is set, the voices in my head telling me to leave and get to safety. Though my heart is...unusually steady.

"Again, who are you?!" I yell at her, and she doesn't seem affected. She simply tells me her name, which brings me more confusion.

MC.

I try my best to recall that name, though when I think, my head throbs, causing more harm than need be. Rushing to the bathroom, I look in the mirror, breathing deeply to calm myself until I spy a small sticky note in the upper corner.

Your name is Caleb.

"Caleb...yeah, okay." I look around for other clues, trying to see if there's anything else like the sticky note lying around, and there is. There's one on the vanity on the left side of the bathroom.

This vanity is for her. Your girlfriend.

I look over at my bed at the woman who's still sitting in it. Was she...her? The note didn't have a name. I look at my hand; there's no ring, so I'm not married. I feel my chest, and my hand clasps around dog tags and an apple charm.

"What is this?" I ask out loud, still unsure of myself about what was happening. "Who gave me this?"

"Me." The woman stands up, covering herself with the thick blanket as I notice she doesn't have clothes on. I realize I don't either. I put two and two together, assuming that the woman in front of me right now is my girlfriend.

"You, you're my girlfriend...MC." I make the statement out loud to affirm it. My heart quickens; I feel full, blissful, and safe. This must be true. She comes up to me, one hand to cup my cheek with a smile. I smile back, but weakly, still cautious even though I'm sure that I'm right and MC is my lover. When she stands on her toes for a kiss, however, I push her back in an instant. "I'm sorry...I..."

"It's okay, Caleb. It's been a few weeks since we had to do this. I understand."

"A few weeks?" I don't understand what she means by her statement. Was this something normal? For me to wake up and not remember a damn thing? It couldn't be.

She walks away, going over to another part of the room to touch the wall over a black desk covered with other items I don't recognize right away. I come closer, seeing a hat, a uniform, a badge, a few medals, some strange charging stations, and a laptop. A screen populates in the area where she touched, a video of myself dressed in a basic white tank top and black shorts, one of my arms isn't the same color, in fact, made of metal.

|Hey bud, I bet you're watching' this wondering...who the hell is that guy? Well, I'm you, uh, me? You get it. Anyway, if you haven't noticed the sticky notes you put up, or noticed our lovely girlfriend in the room...|

I look over at MC to see her covering her face, either smiling, crying, or a mixture of both. My attention turns back to the screen when I start speaking again, the pause intentional.

|...She's the reason you're keeping yourself sane for the most part. There's...something about you that resets your memory. You can't get rid of it without him. You know who it is; you should remember that at least.|

"The Professor." I say in unison with the recording.

| Yup. That guy. Don't worry about him, though. Focus on grounding yourself. MC gave you a necklace; that's your anchor. Even if you forget and she's not around, touching it frequently will help keep you from losing it. There are more recordings and notes you'll find along the way. And don't forget the biggest thing of all. Never, ever do that again. You know what I mean. Oh, and don't forget to charge your arm! Later, uh, me.|

The recording ends with him smiling and giggling in the background, from who I'm assuming is MC, who's recording me. I look over at her once more to see that she's wiping away tears but still smiling. I feel a pang of guilt as I stroke the necklace, wondering if what was mentioned toward the end of the video had to be related to her. To never do whatever it was that I did.

"So it's true. You're my girlfriend, and my memories, they...reset. How often?"

She explains to me that my memories seem to reset during high stress or strenuous activities. A blush spreads across her face when she mentions the night before was our first time together sexually and that must have done it due to how long we went at it. It was now my turn to feel embarrassed, even more so since I was still naked. After getting properly dressed, MC hands me a notebook filled with various notes and tips that both she and I wrote. My morning routine, my workout schedule, my job, and how MC and I knew each other from childhood. Everything was here, also with dates written next to it. As I continue to read, everything starts piecing together and making sense, my mind at ease. I even remember that this book was first made last year, and the day that we made it official was some time after this, created exactly on today's date, making it nine months of being together.

"Some anniversary, huh?" I try to lighten the mood, and she rolls her eyes and playfully punches my shoulder. I smirk and then look back down at the book, noticing there was a page that was ripped out but paperclipped back inside. The page is also crumpled, the handwriting as if written in anguish. I recognize it as my own and silently read it.

She's in the hospital because of you. She's in the hospital because of you. You hurt her. You hurt her. You fucking hurt her. You promised you'd always protect her, even from yourself. Remember today that you fucked up.

My eyes tremble as I read further down, nearly throwing up after I see the words written in someone else's handwriting I can't recognize: She deserves better than you.

I feel her hand gently press against my back, and I shrug away, moving forward as the book shakes in my hands.

"Why is this in here? Who put this page in here...? I don't...I can't remember this at all." As I stammer and start to panic again, MC tries her best to calm me down, asking what I was referring to. I show her the page, and she gasps, taking it from me and ripping it into pieces.

"That wasn't supposed to be there...he must have put it back in the book." She says with anger laced on her tongue.

"Who wrote that last part?"

"Caleb, calm down. You'll reset again. Just please, go back to bed, and I'll call your job."

"No. Don't do anything. Who wrote that...why won't you tell me?"

"Because it doesn't matter; it won't make a difference—"

"Tell me...RIGHT NOW!" I blow up on her, my arm tossing the book so hard across the room it smashes into a picture that falls and breaks. MC doesn't answer me as she runs over to hug me instead. I try to shove her off, but she doesn't budge. Something in me rages, my anger and anxiety mixing as I try again with all my weight, and I push her off to the floor.

"Why won't you tell me? Is it because you aren't my girlfriend at all and just some stranger that walked in my house? If you are, then you need to leave."

There's tears in her eyes, but she stares at me angrily, bracing herself as she gets herself up and tries to come at me. I cry out and rush toward her, the two of us crashing into the wall as I pin her against it with my arm, seeing that part of the skin had scraped away and revealed the metallic surface underneath. She struggles in determination and looks at me.

"Caleb, don't be stupid right now; it's me. Please remember. Pipsqueak? That's me!"

My eyes go wide when the nickname registers in my brain immediately. A pain surges through my head, and I groan in pain and grit my teeth. It plays over and over in my head as flashes of my life show me calling her pipsqueak on multiple occasions, even now as adults.

"Your necklace, Caleb, touch it."

I remember what I told myself in the recording: the necklace was my anchor. I use my free hand to grab it, rubbing my thumb over it until something populates on the wall. Another recording. I watch a different me this time, disheveled, hair a mess, blood on my face, and scrapes on my hands. I'm sitting in the bathroom, trembling and crying as I set the camera down to speak.

|You really did it this time, Caleb. You had one job, and you blew it. If you're watching this, it's because you're about to do it again, aren't you? Hurt her.|

My eyes pan over to MC, who's still pinned against the wall. I give her room to breathe as she slides to the floor, coughing and catching her breath. I look over at the recording and back up, sitting down in the stray chair behind me.

|You freaked out, turned on her, and she ended up in the hospital. This is her blood on you. This is-|

I watch myself break down mid-sentence, and I can't help but feel pathetic and hopeless. I rub my thumb across one of the dog tags again, and recording shuts off. Forcing myself to watch anything further would be redundant now that I was aware of what it is that I did.

"It was him who wrote that on the page, wasn't it?" I say quietly. I met her eyes, the pain that exists in them. Not for herself but for me, confirming what I said and anything else I would ask beyond that. I hurt her. I had another episode and took it out on the one person I cared about more than myself.

"MC...I'm—" She cuts me off by running over to me and jumping into my lap with her arms around my neck. We both cry and embrace each other, and she whispers to me that she loves me, that it's fine, and that I will be fine. I try to wrap my arms around her as well but can only manage one of them, the other feeling heavy and limp against my body.

"You need to charge your arm again." MC says with a frustrated huff, scolding me as she rolls the chair over to the desk toward the charging station. I look at her, my eyes still wet, and a weak smile as I watch her. I can't believe how lucky I am in this moment to have someone like her, a woman who loves me so much she was willing to write notes and deal with my worst moments; that one phrase was correct in some way. I didn't deserve her. But I also can't live without her and refuse to.

#lads caleb #lads #lads fanfic #angst fanfic #tw aggression #tw angst #non canon #semi lore #i wanted to write something angsty i'm sorry #don't give me too much flack on this i'm doing my best #love and deepspace

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sunsetsover · 4 months ago

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I don't think people say GMMTV is sabotaging FK; the correct word would be neglecting. GMMTV neglects FK, and it is extremely obvious if you pay attention.

idk what exactly prompted this ask bc i made that post like a week ago and from what i can tell it hasn't really got any notes for the past few days and i haven't even been online so maybe this is just something that had been bothering you? idk but. and i don't mean to be rude when i say this! but i must say i don't like the tone of this. i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was accidental, but jsyk this came off as very passive aggressive, like im somehow an idiot for not seeing it. and i will tell you that i have definitely seen people accusing gmmtv of sabotaging fkt and thk, which as i said is silly, but yes some do say that! i've seen it with my own two eyes lmao

like literally today i saw someone on twitter saying exactly this bc the gmmtv twt account posted upcoming events for the next week. now mind you! first is LITERALLY on holiday with his family rn, so how (and more importantly why) do they expect him to have events next week? well when someone mentioned that in the replies, their response was just 'well clearly you don't see it the way i do' which ?? what way is that ?? that he's on holiday?? that he can't be in two places at once??? and other people in the replies were like 'well why can't khaotung have solo events!' and it's like ?? idk maybe bc he's at home gaming, hanging out with his sister and playing his instruments ?? maybe it's bc the two of them are CLEARLY on a break and just bc khaotung is still at home doesn't mean he's not RESTING??

and yes i'm mad about that kind of stuff! it comes off as so selfish and spoilt!! and not to make everything about bts but bts have this exact same issue w some fans to the point where armys literally came up w a name for to refer to these kind of fans: mantis (manager+anti). an explanation of what that means from reddit (bc it's better than i could ever explain it): 'Mantis are antis who essentially hide behind “stanning” so much that they themselves feel like they know the group, and their career, better than the group does. These are the fans constantly trying to "protect" them, beyond normal levels. The type to think they are constantly mistreated/tortured by the company and don't get to make any decisions of their own. Also tend to call out other fans "for not being real fans" if they don't join in on the concern.' like literally i read some of stuff some (emphasis on SOME) fkt fans say and it literally is like. i have played these games before!

and listen i'm not gonna pretend i know much of anything abt that company. i'm new here as it is and i really don't pay attention to any other actors or shows or whatever to compare it to so im deffo not the authority in this regard!

but all that said i 1000% get the impression that there are some fans that kinda... infantilise fkt when it comes to their work. like they have no choice or agency and gmmtv are keeping them locked in a basement somewhere. and i do believe that the majority of them mean well (altho i do think a lot of them want/expect way too much from fkt but i'll get to that), but it's almost as if they forget they're grown men who are more than capable of advocating for themselves. i mean fucking hell, was it not them aggressively advocating for themselves for years that got them put on a show together in the first place? first and khaotung are clearly not people who have difficulty going after what they want, esp when together. i've heard that fkt are notoriously picky about which scripts they accept, which doesn't sound to me like people who are really being neglected by their company. neglected actors don't get the luxury of being picky about jobs. neglected actors are lucky to get any jobs.

(and this goes for events and stuff too, which is a common gripe i've seen. in my opinion - and this is just mine! - people who take their acting as seriously as first and khaotung may not want to take loads of events where they're essentially glorified salesmen. and i mean that with no shade bc make that bag always, but as i see it that's all those events are - extra money in their pockets. i can't see how they would do anything for their career really. and doesn't it just make sense that if they're picky abt their jobs that would also extend into events and stuff too? like? i mean ppl are free to disagree w me on this bc this is just my opinion but yknow. i just think ppl make this into a bigger thing than it is)

and funnily enough i also saw a thread on twt the other day abt how fkt are much bigger internationally than they are in thailand. the shows they've opted to do (again, opted, bc they have a choice) are shows that allegedly don't appeal to a domestic market like most other gmmtv shows do. and so, no matter how you or i might feel abt it, from a business pov it makes sense that they might not be getting the opportunities some other actors might be getting if there simply just isn't demand for it domestically. which sucks, but if that's how it is, that's how it is.

and don't get me wrong i completely get viciously advocating for your faves ok? im an army. for half of bts' career fans were all they had. but sometimes that advocacy becomes a) kinda ridiculously demanding given the context and b) almost condescending. or very condescending sometimes. this goes for bts and fkt both. and while it's all well and good wanting things for them, all i'm saying is let's not forget that they are grown men who are not new to this business. not to mention the fact they have a known track record of advocating for themselves, or the fact that they enough scripts coming their way to be able to be picky, or the fact that already have a new show lined up. first has two even! and a show currently airing! and a cameo that just aired like last week! and another one we know is coming! like my god these are not men who are hurting for work rn.

and in my humble opinion, coming to learn about this industry relatively recently, i think ppl expect too much from these actors overall. i think a lot of them - fkt included - work a hell of a fucking lot actually. i think demanding much more is just selfishness. if im honest. like yes it's nice to see them doing events and stuff. but it's not necessary. and i'll be honest! would i like more interviews and magazines and things like that? sure! but like i said if the demand isn't there, neither will the offers be. that's just the reality of what it is! i'm not going to be sending trucks about it lmfao

the bottom line is this: i'm not saying gmmtv do or don't neglect them. i don't have enough information to have a strong enough opinion one way or the other. but from the outside looking in they seem to be doing just fine. they've got work. they've seemingly got money. and like i said, they're grown men. this is their careers. if they have issues with one thing or another, i trust that they will address those issues as they see fit between themselves and their company. until the day that first and/or khaotung themselves express unhappiness or discontentment, i will take them at face value and believe that they're happy w the way things are. bc literally who tf am i to tell them they should be doing anything different?

#ask #anon #once again not to make everything about bangtan. but i truly have played these games before. i know what this is.#and tbh. i feel like i get a very different impression of fkt than most ppl seem to. bc to me they seem perfectly happy as they are #they clearly value quality over quantity. as they should.#and they're introverted! they probably dont WANT to be doing events every 5 minutes! so they simply dont!#i just personally feel like the majority of issues fans seem to have are not actually issues but likely choices fkt make themselves #which goes back to my post. having wants for them is not the issue i have. its the way its expressed. it's condescending and rude.#but alas. im just a girl on the internet.#also im so sorry anon i didn't mean to lay this all on you ! i just have been holding this in for a Minute lmfao

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eggritos · 4 months ago

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Staying anonymous for my safety (twt can be insane) but I just wanna let you know someone on twt reposted one of ur rewrite animations on twt but dubbed over it, it blew up on there and I think it's disrespectful that they probably didn't even ask permission from you to do all that so I just wanted to let you know incase. Here's a link to their post: https://x.com/DRCYBER0/status/1870314004138078444?t=YXftqUvzNCb-dB9gb8BFaA&s=19

Oh I've been seeing many reposts, most of them are also dubbed. It's not something that bothers me, I was not expecting the popularity the animation would gain though! I do find it disrespectful that they didn't credit. Even if my watermark is still there some ppl will still confuse the reposter as the animator. I uninstalled Twitter a while ago, so reaching me there is pointless, but I do appreciate the ppl who are linking the original and reinforming others!

Dubs are cool, and I've mentioned that permission isn't rly needed for them as long as credit is given. It is a way to have fun. But I was mostly talking about comic dubs, not animation dubs. There's not much I can do about reposts though. And I'm not mad or anything. Just don't claim to be the original artist when I'm right here!

Earlier someone else informed me that a doodle of mine was also reposted on twt. Specifically the one of my Shard redesign reading a book to Sage. It got a ton of attention but the reposter did credit and link the original post in the top comment. Now that wasn't a problem because more people got to find me through that! Which is why credit is always important.

Not everyone is going to search for the original artist and not much care either, but the ones who do are the ones who want to see more of that art. And the work for searching up the artist pays off as they are now able to enjoy more of it and support them. Giving credit makes the search easier, and proves someone else made it.

I'm not letting some reposts stop me, if anything it actually makes my work more known. The more I draw/animate the more my work will be seen, and that's all I want. Plus it's fun.

#I might go back and refresh my twt bio in case ppl do search for me there.#But anyway thank you for letting me know!!#BBQ

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thecreatorsvessel · 5 months ago

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(a bit of rant at the middle of this post but please read this, I appreciate it, thank you)

I'll just post some Pressure fanarts here because here is at least decent, not on Twitter, I already got paranoid and anxious of talking to fans & posting arts after everything happened (also, I'm not looking at TikTok because I know what people will do Iike the last time)

Leave the devs alone. Let Zeal and the other devs/mods take care of themselves, let them take their break from the community and from the harassment and threats fans threw at them. Yes, they did a moronic mistake, but, can you just give them advice or criticism instead of harassment and foul words, doing that kind of stuff won't make it better for them. I've seen on Twitter people kept spamming some freakbastian with his tongue out while didn't take the situation seriously and only focused on the fish. You people shouldn't treat them like they aren't human beings. They are humans who are working for a game, not some robots to throw objects or spit foul words at them every day.

I have noticed Zeal deleted his acc on twt because of the amount of harassment (mostly he and Zerum) the devs had received since back then. Seriously, can you all just leave them alone, let them have some time to think and correct their mistakes. Why do you have to harass them when it's not even your problem. It's theirs and they are trying to repair and recover everything just to make it better not only for them but for us, community and fandom. The devs had consequences of their actions, but to those who had harassed or threatening them have the most of it. Zach(on twt), who exposed them, have been caught for defending a gr**mer instead of defending the actual victim/s, and hasn't apologize about it. Exposing someone's actions doesn't make you a good person, it does make people aware, but you would do something bad afterwards. Quit being self-righteous. I am so upset of them, after they exposed them on discord, making us believe misinformation, and is also ignoring people who have been harassed and has harassed the devs like they deserved it. Not to mention, they had an excuse to bring back the old drama and antagonized Zerum again and (possibly) the whole canon shippers. Self-shippers are being harassed by some of them, self-shippers don't deserve to be harassed, they have the right to ship themselves with their favorite character. Even I'm not a self-shipper to this fandom, self-shipping is harmless and that's what makes them happy. I am glad self-shippers stood up for themselves and continued to do their thing. On the other hand, some canon shippers removing their bio as a canon shipper. And why do you have to bring it up the old drama before when it's been months? That has nothing to do with it. Gosh why being so obsessive of hating her and the others? Why not ignore canon? If it's too much for you then why just...leave? For the fandom, if you can't accept canon, that's your problem, not theirs. If you can't accept self-shipping/ocxcanon, it's your problem, not theirs. So if it's not your thing, don't start to come at them then bark like dogs and start a fight because that's what commonly happened and people are leaving because of it. Do your own thing and leave them alone, otherwise you'll be either exposed or blocked for your actions.. as a canon shipper, it hurts to see people are fighting over a character, over a ship...I don't want self-shippers to get harassed for doing what they want and some started a fight. That also goes for those who shipped canon. I hate to see my people invading someone's space and yell that their favorite character being married like come on we already knew that but leave the ones who wanted to ship themself with their favorite character alone. This is why we cannot understand each other completely and some people who have issues with that ship and some became insecure for liking the ship in public (including me..)

Both sides are flawed. The Devs and Community. But the audacity of harassing and sending death threats is unacceptable. People had no shame of telling the devs to k themselves while they didn't do nothing but trying to explain the whole situation. And when they heard the game is getting sold, they're gonna be cheering that the devs are no longer with us, it's so gross to see. We should be happy that our beloved game won't be sold anymore. Stop accusing people. Be at least grateful for the devs for creating the game. Be respectful to each other and move on. Learn to be a decent person.

I came here just for you all to be aware (and in case some of you don't have twt). And that's all of my take and what I thought about it. Thank you for reading this, I appreciate it and have yourself something nice to get off the negativity from the community/fandom. If you can't handle to stay, you can leave and find a better,small, non-problematic one. No one is stopping you, it's okay. Your comfort and mental health is important.

This is a random question but I won't judge you. This is only for your own perspective and your own feelings.

#pressure roblox #pressure #pressure sebastian #sebastian solace #zerum #pleaseeee stop all the negativity and all the shit has thrown to people the community is already miserable pls people do better and change #pressure fandom pls do better #canon shipper pls do better #selfshippers/oc x canon shipper pls do better #the harassment and hate is unnecessary and gross #Hope the devs will get better soon and take care of themselves outside the internet.#We're all human here so please treat others the way you wanted to be treated.

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bluginkgo · 1 year ago

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Just what in the fack did I watch... I'm gonna go watch it again just for funsies and to cry again (Rambles/Thoughts)

This post will mostly contain random rambles and thoughts I had while watching and rewatching the episode. And a lot of this is just going to be me ranting about scenes (the rants will most likely make you wanna go "Ginkgo, that's common sense we can see it smh." XD Just roll with it. Oh and NUzi scenes

Spoilers, duh and lots of words. Oh and gore warning? Kinda?

I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅

First thing I found interesting, is how the Solver behaves in this scene. It's mere shadows, not even fully manifested. Further proves that the Solver transcends simple time and space, and is on a different plane of existence- a 4th dimension if you will.

The humans did, in fact, learn how to control the Solver. The pentagram like projections act as gravity enforcers and lights that subdue the solver for a period of time. Buuuut it seems that it's not full proof. It seems that this occurance is fairly common, seeing as the workers nearby were not very concerned that an eldrich being was about to break loose.

Alright another slow moment here. But I had to google wtf "MacGuffin" meant (English isn't my first language, so take it easy on me ;w;). And taking this straight from the google search "an object or device in a movie or a book that serves merely as a trigger for the plot." So most likely, the Absolute Solver is referring to the fact that Mitchell the intern set things in motion simply because he was mistaken for the real Dr. Chambers... Classic- CLASSIC human mistake XD

So... Heart/Nori. Something interesting is going on with her. I believe Nori WAS injured by the DDs and had to be finished off by Khan. I'll touch on Khan a bit later. But, just as seen with Eldrich J... I'm not sure why I've never thought of this before! It makes sense for Nori's corrupted core: Heart, to still function properly. Meaning, she could have snuck away when she was killed and returned to the cathedral to search for the crucifix. Uzi gets most of her style from Nori 🥹. Seems like Uzi got her mom's style and Khan's engineering abilities.

I had it all wrong- and I am ALL FOR IT! N wasn't afraid of something he saw ahead. He was upset with what they left BEHIND! V! And THIS ENTIRE SCENE

You cannot believe how surprised I was. This scene was so much better than I could have imagined it. Yes, it was painful to watch, but sweet robo-god this was executed SO DAM WELL TwT It was delicious angst. And Tessa was not in fact drawing her sword on Uzi, but instead protecting her... kinda... with an ulterior motive of course.

The gut wrenching betrayal right there. The animation team did a wonderful job at animating the betrayal and how it manifested in Uzi. Disbelief and then anger.

Not to mention her stumble. I hyper fixated on that stumble a bit too much on my first 2 watches. (Yes, I've rewatched the episode 8 times now, hush I love it XD). Her stumble shows weakness. And in that moment, she wishes to be anything BUT weak. The suspicion of betrayal is settling in, and she needs to be able to fight back. But her body is giving out. The events are taking a toll on her. And makes me appreciate the animation detail that much more.

This scene N is definitely angry. He's trying his best to keep it together and Tessa's pressure to injure and kill Uzi is not helping. So for him to be talking to Uzi, while glaring at Tessa is just him driving the point home. He is NOT going to hurt Uzi, no matter what they might find down in the labs.

But a poor choice of words that was. It gives Uzi a glimpse of what was actually happening and what has been bothering N. The trust vaporizes, and with it, any attempts with communication.

And what I believe, gives a nod back to ep2. As N steps in to try to help Uzi up, she retreats. Same happens in this episode. And the kicker? "Falling... for you" song starts lightly playing in the background.

This is far too comical after he says he deserves to have his limbs cut off. The whiplash I got from that is ridiculous... in a sad and funny way.

What an amazing shot. But it does paint a picture of what the DDs have done. Perhaps the blood also acted as cooling agents, and this is why the trend continued with robots- except this time around as oil. And this is what the Administration CYN most likely blocked out. Not only the manor time, but also the bloodbath that followed as Earth collapsed.

THE DOG MADE IT IN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's interesting on how the solver manifests in the drones. It seems that Uzi's wings and tail, do not make the solver go insane, and she can continue to use it. However, later in the episode the same wings and tail go berserk. So it seems that once the transformation has set in- like with Uzi- it becomes part of the drone rather something that is manifested by the Absolute Solver's control.

SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE XD Part 2A that Khan refers to is on the bottom left corner, the green core that Uzi got a hold of back in pilot episode- also titled as "I think this is a robot liver or something lol."

Plan B: Uzi could have had a normal gun if railgun didn't work. Bottom right corner

Top left corner under Uzi's railgun title: "30 min recharge time. That'll be fine." Famous last words ever XD

Top right corner: "Other things it can do: Not judge me, force prom dance, I can say I had friends but fricken murdered them with sci fi weaponry."

I love how sassy he is here XD His character development and arc is something that I will never forget. He has definitely come a great ways. Khan also seems adamant about his wife being completely dead. Which proves that he didn't know a single thing about the Absolute Solver and what it can do. He could only reference Nori's insane drawings and deduce that the planet was going to eat them all soon.

Idk if this is just my tired brain, but this comment felt like a joke to me. (Remember, I don't know anything about computers and the language ;w;) But the physical patch to save herself... as in, the same patches that are sent out for games/programs to fix bugs? That's the joke I got out of that one 😅

This entire sequence was something out of my nightmares XD The heel tapping that KEPT GETTING QUICKER definitely had me reeling back from the screen XD

The Nori and Yeva scene was so wholesome 🥹. I loved the way the animators showed their interaction. Despite the hellish events, they were still close.

My only issue with this image is, on what is Doll moving? Not like the floor. The core is gone from her body, what the heck is still driving her forward? Perhaps just on the sheer will to warn Uzi to "fight back." And I suppose I can see how she could still move without her main core. Almost acting like chickens do, when you cut their heads off. One was able to live for 18 months after the head was cut. So I suppose I can get behind the idea that Doll's final wish was to warn Uzi, at the very least, and thus forced the body to move until it did so.

But then, Tessa shows up. Which makes me wonder if she was the one that simply lead Doll's body to come to Uzi. How? Uhhh... Absolute Solver! Let's just go with that sweat face. The con in that theory is a simple: why? Why bother leading Doll to Uzi? To spook her? To give a false reason to attack Uzi? Given that N was still very much behind them all, I don't see why the Absolute Solver would try to make up some odd reason to attack Uzi. It could just simply... go ahead. There was no one there to fool, and could incapacitate Uzi easily. Buuuut I could also be looking too deep into this, as per usual.

Hey guess what.

I found the answer. XD Just as I'm typing this up, a frame popped up.

Yup, the core was still inside and thus running Doll and thus Doll could move, ok carry on. XD

Emotions spike the Absolute Solver, something that I love seeing and appears to be less headcanon and more canon at this point for me. Through the entire episode, the Solver keeps glitching out and forcing Uzi to lose control because in this situation, she's very stressed. A betrayal, a misunderstanding, learning about the past, everything becomes too much. This makes keeping the solver at bay that much harder.

He did NOT give her any chance. Yes or no, Tessa. That suddenness surprised me- in a good way. This shows how much N has grown. He's willing to stand up for his beliefs that much better. If he suspects something, he now acts on it, and does not wait for the other side to perhaps change his mind.

This scene. This scene shall live in my head rent free for a long while... Actually, the entire episode is gonna live rent free for a while. XD Not to mention the "Falling... for you" song plays in the background yet again. Ugh, pulling on heart strings there ;w;

They had us all fooled XD The hand lights were on just to trick us, and in fact were meant to be off this entire time! Oh you sneaky sneaky people. >w<

ALL OF THESE SCENES, they're all so cruel but SO GOOD TwT So cruel in context of how tortured N must be to fight Uzi, but so good in context that this fight sequence and animation is executed SO WELL. All of Nori's slaps were so personal XD Mama Nori educating NUzi

When I saw this scene, I couldn't help but think of ep3 and their dance. This entire episode is so bittersweet ;w;

She's still there TwT And she sees this entire fight. Of what she has become and done to N and omg I'm crying again. Moving on.

OMG YOU SILLY GOOBER BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH XD I love Nori/Heart's reaction, but the Absolute Solver also gets me laughing a bit too hard. "WHAT." That's so simple yet so effective. "What. Why. You are a DD I sent to kill the hosts, why are you hanging out."

The entire scene with NUzi screaming. Just. YES. What better way of gettin rid of stress than screaming! ^_^

Oh you sneaky, sneaky people. Well, all I can say, you got me. You got me good. This is something I didn't think of, but should have. It's simple to get these shots with certain rigs missing. And it was done seamlessly. Well done, well done. I begrudgingly applaud you. XD

HE'S PATTING HER HEAD AAAAHHHHH *proceeds to ascend to another realm*

They did not... omg they did XD Ah, yes, welcome a new horror oh and by the way here- :3 a cute face

Omg they look so cool- KHAN WTF XD

LOL J THE PRIOR HAZARD WARNING AHAHAHAHAHA

The way she shook his hand trying to snap him back to himself and wake up 😭. And the entire sequence following this... I'm just now slowly starting to process it, oh and great I'm sobbing again. Alright, moving on.

Well, I have some thoughts in this. This is personal thoughts, thus this is where you are more than free to yeet this section into the void that Uzi was dragged into... sorry that was a bad joke- anyways. "Die mad." I feel like this is her way of telling N to not give up. To go out there and FIGHT. But if he can't win, then to die like she is. To die in a way that he will be proud of and to go batsh*t crazy. Because by now, Uzi must know that all of their chances of survival are slim. So you might as well go out with a bang and "die mad."

Something I noticed and was further solidified when @bloodywolfwings also mentioned it. Uzi looks at peace here and very accepting of death. And I say, yes, she very much is. I think this was a way of her asking N for forgiveness. For getting mad at him in the beginning of the episode, for failing to be useful/protecting N, and for fighting against him- despite being possessed. And perhaps even, as an incredibly insane and radical thought, for loving him. This entire episode has put the characters and us through the wringer, and that "sacrifice" was just the cherry on top.

Something I have seen already mentioned once at very least (by @/rebecca-babe) and something that also put me on edge was the ending credits... or the lack of. Of course, all the credits roll, but it's not the usual type. Instead of an upbeat music that is either "Uzi the drone killer" or a theme that was seen in the episode... its SILENCE. Being a musician myself, I love how much love has been put into Murder Drones. The sound effects and the main music are always top-notch. But that ending unsettled me the most. The lack of all noise is something that is terrifying and unsettling in that ending. Almost like all the music and sound left with the "sacrifice" of the main character, Uzi. The entire episode was filled with sounds, silence only being present when something incredibly WRONG was happening - like at the beginning when intern Mitchell re-entered the cathedral. And as much as I love how well executed this entire scene was, I hated it. Because that scene does the job that it was set out to do. Put you on edge, and make you feel like all hope is lost. That this is it. This is the end.

This is the end of my rambles and thoughts that I had while watching ep7. I may have more later on as I keep rewatching this episode for the rest of the week ;w;

Want to hear more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts!

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lordgeneralsix · 2 years ago

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people writing gale off as the guy who can't get over his ex is crazy bc how is someone supposed to just "get over" being sexually and emotionally abused. if people could use their brains for once they'd realize that just like the other companions, his arc also includes him reclaiming his autonomy and identity from an authority figure and learning how to heal from it--which is a very messy and absolutely not linear process, and that's perfectly fine.

all of them are coping with their trauma in different ways, just because gale's way is "unusual" and concerning at times doesn't mean he's less deserving of help.

i struggle to understand why people are being so incredibly narrow about him, but i'll take a guess that it's because mystra is a woman and people still can't grasp that men can also be abused by women.

edit: someone commented that another reason is his appearance, which is incredibly true as well. look at how gale and lae'zel are treated vs astarion and shadowheart. not to mention how barely anyone talks about wyll. people care more about looks than anything else and it makes them look stupid.

edit2: didn't think i had to specify, but tumblr isn't the only place people talk about bg3. i haven't seen anyone here talk about gale's appearance in a negative way but i've seen it on twt and rddit. i never said it was one of the bigger things, it's just something ive noticed and made a point to bring up because someone reminded me.

#not elaborating further you are beyond help if you still don't understand #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #six speaks #im literally not saying people think he's ugly im pretty sure hes one of the most played origin characters but-#i meant when people bring up mystra and call him an incel they also lump in how he looks. ive literally seen people call him an alcoholic #anyway im done w this post i said what i said understand it or dont

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accidentally-in-fictional-love · 20 days ago

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get to know your mutuals

tagged by @polkadotjohnson and honest to god I've never ever done one of these before so seeing you tagged me made me gasp QwQ

I talk a lot in here so time for a cut :D

what's the origin of your blog title?

Me trying to think of something clever that gets across that this is a selfship blog without like putting that in the title, and then setting on this classic song lol

favourite fandoms?

Oh jeez, so David's 'fandom' is the main one on here, but I have so many that've been with me since I was a kid. Typically though I don't actually interact with the fandoms I enjoy on this level, like interacting with people, so I just create stuff and keep to myself, but everyone here is so nice I broke that rule for the first time since 2012 ;w; Marble Hornets was the fandom I did that for, was majorly into it, and while I have no remaining friends from that time and I'm not editing it anymore (although I've been wanting to now and then), I still love my Operator tattoo and the fandom itself so much I still actively follow Troy and his work, he was a huge inspiration for me back in the day, my past David when I was fresh outta highshcool and at my lowest low of that decade.

I don't feel like mentioning the next fandom I did that with, for personal reasons, but I'm not in that one either even though the untainted parts of my memories and the bit of fandom I still partake in mean the world to me.

Actual answer, Sailor Moon has been with me since I was like 5, and I rediscovered it in highschool along with other animes that're still my favs to this day. Revolutionary Girl Utena and Princess Tutu are also huge to me, if you've never seen Princess Tutu I highly recommend it, I can't dance but that show really makes me want to. Teen Titans has been my biggest fandom since 2005 but in the way that I don't actually work with canon anymore, but strictly in aus and crossovers to tell new stories, so even though I'm still editing it you will never see just a normal video to them unless I'm super inspired, like recently I came up with a ghost story with Raven that I'm excited to tell but those edits take so much work I keep being lazy and putting them off for more DD OTL

I've got a ton of random things but those are the ones that've been with me the longest so I enjoy seeing them on my dash along with the other misc things I like seeing, but I'm less in their fandoms and more 'ah what a nice gifset of my boyfriend 🥰' and then I keep scrolling lol

otp(s)/shipname?

The long answer: I actually have so many that I made a goddamn list for it. Outside of this blog I have video editing friends, like amvs and stuff only like not just canon tributes but like actual storytellers using fandoms to create new worlds, it's my favourite thing, you'll see that from me here as time goes on and I actually start working on my own ideas. Anyway I made the list for them and to keep track of what I love, since we make each other otp edits for birthdays and christmas and stuff, so it's quite extensive.

The short answer: Ethan/Johnson/Matty 💛❤️💙 and everyone I ship Addy with lmao those are the ones I've been concentrating on solely the past year now

favorite color?

Purple (also pastel), pastel teal, pink, red, black of course, and blue. I didn't used to like pink cause I was concentrating so hard on being cool and badass and then I realized how fuckin well it goes with everything. I have so many ocs that have pink in their palettes now and I love all of them 🥰

favorite game?

This one is a long read ;w;

I lovelovelove video games but the actual list of stuff I get and replay is so small TwT but Silent Hill above all else. That's a Love of My Life fandom right there, even the games I don't like, including the films. I could recite 2 and 3 to you like they're movies. I put them on all the time as background noise while I'm playing other games. I'm getting tattoos for them just next month. I'm not in the fandom itself, but this series owns my heart and soul and has from the moment I was too scared to watch someone play 2 without being in a room full of sunlight. Wind Waker was actually the first game I ever played as a kid, I might've had a crush on Medli before I even knew I could have a crush on a girl asdknak and I'd love to play it again but I don't have any consoles to do so, so I have to settle for watching someone else play and that breaks my heart, I wish it was on the switch 😞

Bioshock for absolute sure, getting Jack's chains was my second ever tattoo, I know the first game inside and out, it's one of the two I've 100%, and really wanna work on my Atlas selfship stuff at some point but since my character won't be Addy I'm just not 🙃 After that I fucking adore Alice: Madness Returns, I fell so in love with the first game in highschool that when the second came out I had to play it myself, and it's the only other game I've 100% and know inside and out. My heart is still broken over the third one being cancelled, fuck you EA. I haven't completed the achievements for this one but Left4Dead2 is also one of my top favs, I've been in love with Nick since I first stole my younger brother's xbox to start playing back in like 2009, me and my sibling can do each map blindfolded now so we love playing custom maps for it, the Silent Hill ones are very long but extremely well made even if they take forever to do. Also Half-Life 2 and the episodes, although I haven't been able to play Alyx, Portal of course, the 2nd is a masterpiece, although I've never played TF2 lmao

Along with them I unironically reallyreallyreally love minecraft sdknsksdvb have you ever played a custom horror map for it?? Some of the best times of my life, same with the super long 12+ hour adventure games people can make, it's so incredible, I love them and playing normal worlds mindlessly while movies play in the background. Adore Subnautica, recently started a new world this year but I haven't had time to pick it back up due to everything, House Flipper is really helping scratch that house design itch that the Sims gives me, I never actually play the Sims itself I just wanna build so I make my ocs' houses and then I'm good >:D

Outside of playing them I have a ton that're my fav to watch others play, that's a fun thing I love doing when I have to draw and can't think of a movie to put on, like Detroit: Decome Human is also a masterpiece and when I got my dad to watch a longplay of it he thought it was like a movie, and he doesn't get let's plays at all. Love FNAF, I'm too chicken to be that alert but I've seen Mark play a thousand times lmao, Amnesia was such a cool experience when it came out and watching SOMA for the first time was a highlight for me, Cry of Fear holds a special place in my heart for scaring the shit outta me and introducing me to let's plays, been a while since I saw that one so I should fix that, Little Nightmares is super cool, Fran Bow is another amazing one, Until Dawn is one of my favs too and I'm getting Hannah's tattoo as well, I dipped my toes into that fandom for a bit, The Evil Within and Alan Wake are awesome but I still need to watch the sequels OTL

Also love Corpse Party which I bought but never played oop, have you caught on by now that it's a bunch of horror games Mark has played yet skdnskds RPG horror games like Mad Father and the Witch's House really made me wanna make one but I never did, Nightmare House 2 introduced me to the magic of custom horror maps made using other games, Doki Doki Literature Club I did play when it came out but never finished but for a while before I found David, Monika was actually one of my biggest comfort characters since she could 'interact' with me and I really needed that during covid. I'm not a RE fan but 7 made things really fun for me cause I'm a sucker for haunted houses and 8 was also fun, so I'll add those, I like Undertale and Deltarune by proxy since my sibling loves them, and I also really love pokemon and Animal Crossing hehe but I haven't played either in years now just from laziness.

song stuck in your head?

Depends on if it's new or if I wanna edit to it, cause then I'll listen to it for days while planning what to do in my head, so I'll list the ones I'm gunna do once I get off my ass when LtF is done: Guns For Hire, Use Me, The Line, Dreams, and Good Luck, Babe! Yes, all of them are either 3RP or David related lol

weirdest habit/trait?

I skinpick ;w; if you're talking to me in person you'll probably notice my hands need to be holding something or else I'll be casually attacking my nails/fingers or face or arms, just cause they're there. I also tend to overexplain myself a lot, I think it might be a mental thing, like instead of answering there I'm giving huge paragraphs for example. I've had people ask me questions and I'll give a 30 page essay as my response and it's actually made them get mad at me for not just saying yes or no, but I don't know how not to do it. I've also had trouble with saying things that make sense in my head but the person I'm saying it to doesn't get it, so I have to explain myself that way too.

hobbies?

Writing of course, drawing since I was old enough to hold a crayon, animating now finally, gaming, video editing from the moment I saw my very first Teen Titans amv and went 'oh, I wanna do that too' and now I'm making edits so intense that it takes me forever to finish anything TwT

if you work, what's your profession?

Main job is a page at my local library, which I'm doing double shifts for til June. Second job is working at my family's business, so between the two I have no days off at all unless I say 'please give me sunday I'm tired' and it's helllll but the money 🤑

something you're good at?

I would like to think the hobbies I listed above ;w; except gaming lol I'm so fuckin casual I play on easy just to have some fun, give me no challenges unless it's a custom map.

if you could have any job you wish what would it be?

Being so fucking rich I don't have to work. That's literally it, I don't wanna do my hobbies as a job, it's so tiring and makes me hate them. Give me money so I don't have to work and can just create things for me and my friends, send me a sugar daddy or let me be a trophy wife. That's it.

something you're bad at?

Not finding a way to stop procrastinating. I have work in 3 hours from this point and I'm supposed to be writing cause the rest of my day and tomorrow are booked between double shifts and easter but instead I'm doing this 😐

something you love?

Creating new things from old things, like with my videos. It's fun to do it with fics, but taking existing footage and making it into something so entirely new that I get comments of 'what episode is that?' and 'where did you get that clip from?' and they always warm my heart. I got them from nowhere, I made it myself 🥰 I also really love my family, my friends, and my sweet little one Bucky, my cat 🥰🥰🥰

Also David, of course 💙

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff?

I could spend forever doing just that trying to list stuff so I'll make it an actual list or else we're gunna get trapped: David, how much I love Reprisal and the 3RP, my own fics, especially LtF, which I have done to my sibling a LOT (screenshots of that coming soon), why minecraft is a fun game and why mom should play with us, why Subnautica is a game my sibling should like and play with me, my magical girl series I'm writing and want to turn into a whole show, Silent Hill and my inspired series I also wanna turn into a show, my videos and the progress that goes into them, I used to do it for Marble Hornets and why Masky and Hoodie aren't proxies or creepypastas and if you get me started now I might turn back into an inferno of rage, and David a second time because yeah I did that so much my new boss at work asks me about him and just lets me ramble skdnskj

something you hate?

Spiders. I have a very bad phobia of them to the point where I need to sandwich books of them before I can touch them to put them away at work, even if it's a drawing and not a super detailed closeup. Being hot, I run hot so I sweat and turn red so easily and I hate it so much. I'm usually just slightly annoyed when things I like have shitty sequels that aren't very good, since I'm just happy to get more of a thing I like (Silent Hill for example), but do not get me started on how the ending of The Boy 2 ruined the entirety of the plot they did for the first. Holy shit it's been years and I'm still so mad about it, they almost had a perfect sequel and they pooped on it.

Myself. I'm working on it.

something you collect?

Merch! I don't make a ton working at a small town library, so if I truly love something I'll spend money on it, like a physical release of a show I already have downloaded, or a manga I can read online and really love. Right now my biggest collection is for David, but I'll take pics of that when I move and it's all set up and together. Likewise, if you're my friend and I offer to buy you something, that means I really love you 💗

The only time that backfired was when I commissioned a fully custom 21k gold necklace for my best friend a decade ago as a gift for when I went to meet her. It was based on a sword design she made for me so I got it done as a symbol of our friendship and how much she meant to me, while I had a 10k silver version that was around $100. Hers was worth $1000+. She eventually ghosted me and I have no idea where the necklace is now, if she still has it, if she threw it away, even sold it.

Needless to say I won't be doing that again, no matter how much I love you. The fact that the necklace could be lost or garbage hurts more than me realizing she didn't need me anymore.

something you forget?

Mostly just stuff to do at work cause I'm focusing on other things at the library and I'd much rather write readers than vacuum at my family shop. Cleaning when asked, cause again I'm focusing on other things. I forgot to feed the cats while I was writing this actually...

favorite movie/show?

Did you not see the huge wall of text when you asked me about games?? You wanna do that again for media??? I'll list my favs I can't do this again we'll never leave this post otherwise, there's too much. If it's one of my top 10s then assume that I know every word and can recite the entire movie off the top of my head.

Animated Movies: I'm actually a huge lover of disney movies, grew up with the princesses and now I get to make new stories using their movies, it's how I met three of my bestest friends 🥰🥰🥰 with my top favs being The Little Mermaid, Alice in Wonderland, and Frozen. I love Aladdin, he's always been my fav disney guy and the one I most related to outside of Ariel, which is funny considering Ethan plays him, which I didn't know! I was so happy when I put that together after watching the show for the first time since I saw the movie in theatres and really liked him! Beauty and the Beast is another big fav, basically think of all the classic animated ones and considering me loving them, but these ones are like top five. Also love Hercules, saw myself in Herc as a kid and then Meg as I got older, James and the Giant Peach, Pooh's Grand Adventure has no goddamn business having the saddest fucking song that still makes me cry to this day if I'm feeling lonely, the Hunchback of Notre Dame cause no one gets me like Quasimodo, the Incredibles, the Nightmare Before Christmas rewired my brain permanently as a kid and I think David would be proud of that, Toy Story was a big one for 5yo me and I still have the Woody toy I got when I was 5, as such he remains a pure comfort character to me to this day, and Zootopia. Anastasia was huge for me as a kid, all of Don Bluth's movies were, but this one, Thumbelina, and Pebble and the Penguin were the biggest, while I also loved a Troll in Central Park and Rock-a-Doodle. Cats Don't Dance is amazing, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Coraline might be one of my favourite movies altogether, Corpse Bride was actually the first movie I ever downloaded and it was super bad quality and split into two parts, I'll never forget that, Fantastic Mr Fox is top 10, Ferngully, Happily Ever After is a hidden gem and I'm so glad I got my editing friend into it cause she adores working with Snow now hehe, Horton Hears a Who and the Lorax, but I was never that kind of fan lol I just liked the jokes and songs, Megamind is a huge fav and I'm scared to watch the sequel, Once Upon a Forest is another hidden gem I never see talked about, Sing, the Spiderverse movies of course, Storks a lot, the House is actually a stopmotion horror movie that came out in recent years and is great, the Pagemaster, can't not mention the Prince of Egypt simply as a masterpiece of a movie, the Road to El Dorado, and We're Back, which was much too scary for a kid my age to be watching akjndskd I was never a huge watcher of the Scooby Doo show, and then suddenly there were too many, but I also love the old Zombie Island movies they did. Same with Tom and Jerry the Movie, never a watcher of the shows but that movie means a lot to us as something me and my siblings grew up with regardless.

Live Action Movies: Half joking answer is everything David is in, same with the ones I've seen with Rhys, but I do truly love LNWTD, The Suicide Squad, The Dark Night Rises (the whole trilogy is fantastic, I saw them in theatres), and the Last Voyage of the Demeter. A bunch of series like The Conjuring and Insidious (been calling Patrick Wilson my husband thanks to those since 2010 lmao it stuck so hard I automatically call him that in front of everyone even when I try not to), Scream, the MCU and a few other Marvel movies, love DC but I grew up specifically with Batman Forever so it holds a super special place in my heart, used to be more into HP but that was tainted wasn't it (used to be able to recite POA), used to be huge on the Marx Brothers for a while there, Get Out was great but I'm in love with Us and Nope scared the fuck outta me, super great movies, and Night at the Museum are also special to me cause it was the first time I saw Rami 🥰 Back to the Future, Beetlejuice was Baby's First Horror but someone left a sour taste in my mouth about that so we're on a break even though it's one of my favs, But I'm a Cheerleader and DEBS were the first movies I watched after coming out and they both made me cry, the cheering part at the end of BIAC always chokes me up, loved Casper since I was a kid and the 'Can I keep you?' bit is a surefire way to make me cry when I'm feeling lonely, Clue is excellent and everyone should watch it, same with Coherence. Gold Diggers: TSFBM is about girlfriends and you can't convince me otherwise, also loved that one since I was a kid, Grave Encounters so much but only the first one, the second is so bad I only used it for my halloween vid and want to delete it cause I don't wanna watch it casually, I actually had a thing for the old movie Homicidal for a while back! Saw it when I was running a haunted house out of our house and I was so enthralled with the ending that I made a fake trailer for it, IT is another great LOML on a smaller scale, Jacob's Ladder, Knives Out and Glass Onion are so much fun, Mirrormask is one we randomly found at the local rental place and it's captured my heart ever since. Spent a LOT of time as the single fan in the Of Mice and Men fandom in highschool and that's not a joke, Shutter Island, Splash has been a fav thanks to being an Ariel fan, we've watched Spirited a ton of times it's so damn good and we adore the music, The Boy is a top fav and you've seen Brahms on here before more than likely, The Indian in the Cupboard started my intense fascination with skeleton keys as a matter of fact but I don't really watch it anymore, The Mask, me and my sibling love The Producers (2005 musical version naturally) so much we've seen that one a bunch too, The Thing is excellent, had another brief thing with the Wizard of Oz for a while there but I mostly just watched it over and over, the Woman in Black is probably my most favourite tension horror movie of all time, Titanic was my entire life when I was a kid and it has yet to not make me cry at the end so I haven't watched it in years but the love is still there, I unironically really love V for Vendetta, and that's all the major ones I have downloaded! My family adores these old movies so we've seen them a million times and are constantly quoting them to each other: Baby's Day Out, Clifford, Christmas Vacation, Elf, Hot Rod, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Jingle All the Way, you seeing the pattern yet? Just Friends, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Rat Race, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Spaceballs, and Tommy Boy. At least, those are all the ones I have downloaded, there might be more.

Shows: Reprisal! First and foremost I'm crazy about Reprisal right now!! (I had to plug in my live action and then my anime external drives to make this one oop)

Anime: Aggrestuko, Another which I'd love to work with someday as a premise, Asobi Asobase made me laugh so hard but the manga itself dropped off even harder sadly, Assassination Classroom, Beastars, Brand New Animal, Death Note, used to like Elfen Lied but it's not one I watch much anymore in favour of these others, Futari wa Pretty Cure almost got me back into anime prehighschool but I've yet to finish the original season even though I really want to, just no time, I really wanna rewatch Heavenly Delusion my god, Houseki no Kuni, Junji Ito Collection even though they're not great cause I love his work, it's not a fav but I do wish Mayoiga had been better and I also wanna work with that premise as well, Mirai Nikki, Nichijou is a top fav and everyone should watch it if you enjoy laughing, Odd Taxi, Princess Tutu, Puella Magi Madoka Magica is another top fav and I'm so excited for the new movie, Read or Die is another big top fav as well, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Sailor Moon, Shadows House is so cool and I need to reread/rewatch, Spy x Family, Summertime Render was a very cool watch and the first ending theme is so perfect for my one series that I wanna animate to it someday but I do wish it was a bit scarier not just sad, Tasogare Otome x Amnesia has such beautiful horror imagery but I was screaming when plots of it lined up with one of my own ocs, no idea is ever original OTL I'm not a gundam fan at all but I did watch The Witch from Mercury and adored it so much I bought a zine lol, plot twist but Uma Masume Pretty Derby has my exact type of humour and it's actually good and cute, Watashi no Oshi wa Akuyaku Reijou oh my god is that not LITERALLY me with Abner if I could, which is why I decided on Addy's plot with him as it is, Yami Shibai is short and not super scary but a cool spooky watch for halloween, and Zombieland Saga was so surprisingly fantastic I made my sibling watch it immediately after I binged the whole thing. I also really love studio Ghibli movies of course, same with Mamoru Hosoda's films, and this super old movie version of this Thumbelina show might've been my first ever anime after Sailor Moon, with the streamline dub of Totoro being the second.

Cartoons: Adventure Time, Arcane is good and the songs go so well with Reprisal but my sibling loves it more, Chowder, Clone High but mostly the og, Dan Vs (another sibling fav), Gravity Falls, Invader Zim (wasn't a fan of the movie), Kipo ATAOTW did make me cry a bunch but I haven't watched it since for some reason, My Little Pony FIM DON'T CALL ME OUT OKAY I like it, but not the new stuff, Regular Show, Rick and Morty, RWBY is a main love and has been since Weiss' trailer came out and the fact that David did a voice in the DC movie blew my goddamn mind, She-Ra ATPOP but in the sense that I actually hate a lot of the show itself and just like working with Catra and Adora for my videos lmao, Smiling Friends, Spongebob but just the og 3 seasons and first movie which I can also recite, Steven Universe, Teen Titans, TTG and don't call me out again okay it makes me laugh and I get more of my favourite thing, The Amazing World of Gumball is one of me and my sibling's favourite shared shows, and The Owl House.

Live Action: A couple of the MCU shows like Loki and TFATWS cause Bucky, A Series of Unfortunate Events was one I've been waiting for since the movie (which I also loved like crazy) and I was not disappointed. Syfy's Alice cause I love all things AIW pretty much, American Horror Story, I'm not a cop media person in the least but I do rather like CSI: New York (remember when I said I was the only person in the OMAM fandom? this came from that), kinda in Game of Thrones in a 'I will watch and cry but I haven't rewatched yet' way, I Am Not Okay With This (supporting Stan and Bev from IT and then being still salty over it being cancelled), Mr Robot but only when I'm in the mood to be horribly depressed afterwards, Rami is phenomenal and I love him, Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, which I watched cause I was curious and then fell in love with their take on it, very very good made me cry a ton, Sherlock but not as much as I was, still have a soft spot for it though, Stranger Things (again thanks to IT), The Haunting of Hill House and Bly Manor are very good and the first one makes me and my sibling bawl cause family stuff always gets us, I need to watch his other shows though!! Supernatural, Twin Peaks, and The Umbrella Academy, came for the laughs and again cried over family stuff.

There's about 100 I didn't list between all three ;w; these are just the top favs

favorite food?

Burgers, pizza, fries, ice cream, cake, brownies, cookies, all the fun stuff lol I'm a simple guy

favorite animal?

Cat! Also love dogs, been watching a lot of bat vids recently, and thanks to a certain vampire I love hyraxes now too. I love a ton of animals really but I'm all burnt out from listing media x_x

are you musical?

Absolutely. My dad was in a band when he was younger so he raised us on his music and his love for it, plus like I said I grew up on disney movies, so I'm constantly listening to my fav songs on repeat, singing, dancing badly, watching other musical movies, it's probably a factor in why I wanted to edit videos so much once I discovered them. Ironically, I have no actual talent for composing or playing unlike dad, just listening, and have a distaste for play musicals, I can only digest them as movies since plays and live performances make me cringe unfortunately, can't do it.

what were you like as a child?

Despite being socially anxious even back then I'd get very active and hyper which I cringe at now cause kids are always unaware of how disruptive they are. I was also very unaware of how I presented myself when I tried to be more social, like I would try too hard or pull back completely, plus I liked stuff the other kids didn't, so I wasn't liked very much. That only carried into highschool where there were even more kids who didn't get or like me.

favorite subject at school?

Art, naturally, with some english outside of essays, as well as math, really loved the communications (video stuff like editing and live filming) class my fav teacher did, he was really cool and nice to me.

least favorite subject?

History. Science. Gym. Get that shit outta here I wanna draw.

what's your best character trait?

I'm actually not sure? Having an obsessive personality maybe? Not in an altogether bad way, even if I'm cringe, cause it keeps me working on things for fandoms for a super long time, like I've got video ideas I've thought up years ago and I still wanna make them, which helped lead to my halloween vid last year, that one took six years to make cause I couldn't let it go. Maybe determination is a better word? Definitely a bit obsessive though, I mean, look at my David collection and all the money I've spent on him in just one year ;w;

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?

The fact that I was too sick to go in last night so I have to do two shifts at two branches back to back very soon TwT and the fact that I never got to write my next chapter since that I tried to do this first...

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?

No one, I'm very boring and I don't like travelling much, let alone through time OTL

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

@how-serene did so many wonderful readers I was inspired to try my hand at it /)w(\

This fic and its sequels by my wonderful friend Kai, I love how much she loves this vampire hehe

This fic was the first thing I read before I started writing my own 3RP stuff and it changed my brain so much that I took small inspos from it when I was learning how to write them, especially Matty's promise to Ethan hehehehehehe I'm always thinking about it /)//w//(\

tagging: Kai already did it and I don't talk to many people in general so I got nothing ;w; if you see this and wanna do it then I count you as tagged!

#Ray's Ramblings #this took me... five hours... I need to go to work like now

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