#I've said it before nd I'll say it again

[russellsppttemplates]

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you (Lando Norris)

Your new job is allowing you to have new experiences, and your heart is not too mad about it either

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time in the books, I'm finally writing for Lando! This is my first long piece and I hope I did well enough!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: curse words, mentions alcohol consumption

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"I'm just saying, it's closer that way. We can go and get the packages ourselves and sort out any issues with them straight away", Lando reasoned, opening his text message app so he could continue what he wanted to do. "Okay, fine by me. He's got a point, Y/N", Max raised his hands in surrender, looking at you for your opinion.

Working for Quadrant hadn't been a goal you had set out to accomplish in the strict sense of it. You didn't see yourself working for a massive company where people were stuffed in offices where the only way they could know their colleagues' names was when they had online meetings that took far too long and discussed the baseline of the issues. So, when you saw the job offer for someone in the Graphic Design area of work, you looked up the company name and saw their work, fascinated with how the guys had grown this business from streaming online gaming. Later, as you progressed in the recruitment process, you came to learn that Lando and Max also had a more public presence than you had initially figured out, despite all of your friends' insistence that "you can't be that clueless, Y/N, how did you not know that Quadrant was Lando Norris'? I thought you applied because of that", they would say as you shrugged your shoulders, "in this economy, do you think I am that picky about a job? I have my preferences, sure, but I know what I'm worth and I saw the offer was actually quite okay!", you defended yourself.

You ended up getting the spot and, so far, you couldn't complain. Most of the time you worked with Callum, Max and Tara, since your work overlapped with theirs, and every now and again, like right now, Lando would also meet up with you.

"Are you sure it's fine if I go? Your parents know Max, but they haven't met me before. Are you sure they won't find it weird?", you spoke directly to Lando, thinking that his idea, as lovely and kind as it was, didn't account for the facts you were stating.

"Max is coming because he's from the team, and you're from the team, too, so you're coming with us as well", Lando said simply, not seeing the problem.

"But he's been your friend for so long now, I'm a Quadrant Team member", you attempted again, "they don't have to provide for and give a roof to a stranger, I'll find an hotel to spend the night", you offered, wanting to be clear about it.

"You're part of the team, too! Don't worry about that, okay?", Lando said, "besides, mum loves having a full house, she's definitely the host of the family", he smiled, checking the item on his list nd carrying on the meeting.

"When we're there, we'll be able to get our hands on the embroidered Originals collection", Max began, "hopefully they're perfect and we can start working on the website", he gestured as you turned your laptop so they both could see, "this is the concept I've come up with, since this isn't as flashy or as colourful as past collections", you showed them the mood board, looking for disapproval signs but being met with looks of surprise instead, "I know it's not usually what you go for, so I also have another idea here, if you just let m-", you were about to change when Lando slapped your hand away from the mouse and holding it in his, "I really like this one, especially these posts here, I think the ideas are great!", he noted as he set your hand down on the table, "okay, then I can keep working on this", you said, closing the other tab, "do you have something better than this?", Max asked, "seems as good to me!", he offered.

"This is just a draft, I'll invest more time in this and I'll have it ready for the end of the week. That way we can have it ready when the clothes arrive. I'll text Tara to ler her know", you smiled, grabbing your phone as the boys flickered through the ideas, pointing out the different details they liked and wanted to keep.

.

"I'm way too young for my life to be just this, so please drive safely, Max", you said, buckling your seatbelt and exaggerating your hold on the door handle, "if you weren't such a crucial part of this team, I'd make you reconsider your jokes", he teased back, reversing out of the parking space and initiating the trip.

Lando was already at his parents' house since they had a family gathering the day before, so you and Max were driving up to meet him, "they're really nice people, really chilled as well", Max began, "Adam and Cisca, that is. I can hear you thinking and I'm assuming that is what's going on in your head", he stated.

"I don't want to step on anyone's toes, and I don't want to embarrass anyone or myself even. Can you imagine Lando's parents finding out their son's company has questionable employees? They'll mark me off as some sort of strategy fool or think that I want to take this company down, and I don't!", you uttered out, sharing more than you meant to.

Impostor's Syndrome was a bitch, and it often showed up the moment things got progressively harder, and while you knew you were able to deal with it, the little voice still nagged you.

"Y/N, you're one of the most valuable people we have on the team, and I don't say that lightly. This is Lando's baby, and yes, he's the face of it and that counts for most of it, but the work behind it is just as important and with the numbers we're having, it all comes down to you. Since you joined us the designing aspect of it, - obviously, you wouldn't be the one responsible for accounting, duh -, the compliments have been non stop, it has improved the interactions, too!", he said honestly, "you have nothing to worry about, truly", he comforted, "it's this exit here", he mumbled, checking the GPS and turning on the blinker, slowing down the car as they entered the city.

You didn't have to wait long before he pulled up to a big house, the gravel sound quieting down until it came to a halt when Max stopped the car, "Lando said he'd meet us at the door, I really don't fancy being mistaken by a burglar", he joked, getting out of the car as you did the same, stretching your legs and taking in the sight.

"Max, Y/N! Did you have a good trip?", Lando made himself be heard and seen, walking up to you and grabbing the bags his friend was taking out of the car boot, "I'll take these", he offered, picking up your luggage as you pulled on your backpack, "thanks", you smiled, following him as he led the way into his parents' house.

"My parents are in the kitchen", the Formula One driver said, ushering you to the roomy space after he and Max dropped the bags by the stairs, "Max, dear! We haven't seen you in so long, how are you?", a beautiful woman said. Her hair was brown and her skin was tanned as she hugged Max and Lando, "this is Y/N, she is our graphic designer", he presented you, the older man hugging you and his wife doing the same, "I'm Adam, it's so nice to finally meet you", he smiled warmly, "likewise", you smiled back.

"You can call me Cisca, darling. We've heard so much about you, it's nice to finally put a face to the name", she winked at you as you didn't miss Lando elbowing his mother as he closed his eyes, sighing at her, "thank you for having me over, I hope it's not too much trouble", you thanked again, feeling more at ease at their genuine welcoming greetings.

Lando quickly scrambled an answer, seemingly not wanting his parents to talk, "of course it's fine, no trouble here! Let's get your things upstairs so we can settle in and work!", he clapped his hands, walking to the corridor and up the stairs with Max as you excused yourself.

"This is your room, you have the bathroom on the next door", he pointed on the corridor after he placed your bag and backpack down in the small sofa, "Max is in the office, it's just across the hall and I'm at the end of the hall, if you need anything", Lando offered.

"Thanks, again. Do you guys want to begin now? I just need to put on some fluffy socks and I'm good to go", you said, "yes! Is the dining room okay with your parents? The table is big enough to layout everyhting", Max chirped in, whistling at your room as he looked around, "she got an upgrade, good move!", he tapped his friend's back.

After Lando cleared it with his parents, he was quick to remove the table runner and flower vase from the dining room table, extending it to its biggest size so you had all the space you needed, "you can sit here, Y/N, it's usually where the room heats up faster", he pointed out the radiator, pulling up the chair next to your and typing on his iPad.

"So this is the video idea? I like it, we just need to find some background music for it", Max asserted, grabbing his phone to check the time, "we should get going to pick up the order", he uttered.

"Do you need all of us to go?", you asked, saying the changes in your laptop as you did,

"You can pull your the backseats of your car down, can't you, Max? That way we can bring more boxes, and you and me go", Lando reasoned, looking over at you, "do you mind staying here while we go get them?", he asked, not wanting you to feel uncomfortable.

"I'll be fine, you go", you smiled, opening your notebook and writing down some notes.

"Oh, darling, you could've turned the lights on. Soon enough you'll be like me and need glasses", Cisca said as she stood on by the door, flickering the lights on as your eyes got used to the brightness, "I already wear them, or I should more often anyway", you blushed, suddenly getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar, grabbing your case from your backpack and putting them on.

When Lando and Max left, you decided to work on the website graphics, checking how the campaign would work with the current layout, that you lost track of time.

"May I see what you're working on?", she asked, "it's okay if I may not, I don't want to intrude", she smiled as you pulled up the chair next to you, "I don't know much about these things, but I always get quite fascinated with this part", she said, sitting down and looking at the screen.

Already driving back home, Lando and Max talked about the plans once they arrived, "and that way Y/N can also finish the social media stuff, and maybe you'll have more time to actually make a move on her", he teased.

Lando scoffed, "I'm not trying to make a move on her", he defended himself, "I'm glad to know, because if those moves were what you had, it wouldn't surprise it that it didn't go very far", Max yelped as his friend took the opportunity of the straight road ahead to hit his thigh, "so that's what you talk about? Here I am thinking about business and you're meddling in my love life?".

"I never said it was love life, but since you've admitted it, it's saving me time. So, what are you planning? I could help since this seems to be stalled", Max tried again, holding his hands in protection of his body in case Lando hit him again.

"I wouldn't know where to begin, I mean, it will make things awkward if this goes south, right? I'd never be able to look at her again, much less work with her", Lando admitted, "She's very kept to herself as well, I highly doubt that she'll want to be involved with me in that way. Whoever I date or interact with has to deal with enormous amount of public eye and I wouldn't spring that up on her", Lando mumbled, taking the road exit on his left.

"So you've given this some thought, too. Here we are thinking you're coming to the meetings to help and now you're just blushing when we talk about Y/N", Max joked back as Lando shook his head.

"We're back!", Lando announced, walking inside the dining room while pushing the boxes with Max, "don't worry, mum, we're not scratching the floors", he said, sweetly kissing the side of her head, "are you planning to work for us?", he noticed she was sitting next to you, notebooks of the projects open and sheets and fabrics all over the table in front of you.

"Y/N was kindly showing me the project you're working on, for the launch, and it looks really nice!", she complimented, placing a hand on your shoulder and the other on your arm, "she's been showing me everything, I've probably stolen some valuable time from you, darling, I'm sorry", she slumped her shoulders slightly, "not at all, it's all under way, don't worry", you smiled, easing her worries, "I'll leave you guys to it, how about I make some tea?", she suggest as the three of you nodded.

"We have the boxes here, they're sorted by colours", Lando opened the first box, "these are only for the Originals collection, right?", you checked over, peaking at the blue hoodie he pulled out.

"The sizing is right, right?", Max wondered as Lando stretched it out, "Y/N, can you try these, please? We need to check if the model is good for guys and girls".

Getting up from your spot, you grabbed the vibrant blue piece, feeling its soft texture against your fingertips, "I have wider hips that average, I'm not sure I'm the greatest test model for that", you shrugged your shoulders, "keep that in mind". Taking off your sweater so your torso was covered in a strappy top, you pulled the new garment on, adjusting the strings around the neck so you could pull it all the way down, "Oh, it's so soft", you noticed, "and warm, too. And feels quite good actually, it's not too tight", fumbling with the ribbed material on the bottom as you checked yourself out on the windows now that it was dark outside.

Lando gulped as you did so. Oh, had Lando noticed your hips. To anyone else, it would be another feature of your body, but he was enamoured by them. Your body's curvy outline enticed him and he would be lying if he said that it wasn't the first thing he noticed at first glance when you arrived for you last interview, especially with the tapered pants you had been wearing.

"Looks nice. What do you think, mate?", Max turned to Lando, hoping to get an answer but finding him looking at you, "is there something wrong? I told you I'm not the best mo-".

"It's gorgeous, looks gorgeous", he breathed out just as his mother walked inside carrying a tray with tea and some biscuits, "Here's the tea, guys", she said, setting it on the table, "wow, that's a very nice piece!", she complimented.

"It is, isn't it, Cisca?", Max said, covering up her son as he kept looking at you as you tested the front pocket, not noticing his gaze on you.

"You also have a very beautiful model, you can't ignore that factor in the equation", she complimented you while you grabbed a mug, taking a sip of the warm liquid and hoping it hid your pink cheeks, "thank you", you whispered.

While Lando helped his father with dinner, Max convinced his mother to show you both family albums, and once you had the delicious food they prepared, you excused yourself so you could use the shower, wanting to wash the day of travelling away. Max and Cisca stayed in the living room while Lando helped his father prepare dessert, checking on the apple crumble in the oven so it could get golden brown and not burnt, "so, any life updates recently?", the older man asked.

Lando wasn't around as much as they both would've liked, so often times his visits also came along with news and updates, "not much, racing has been good, it's nice to have a break now, even if it's just two weeks", he offered, looking at the oven.

"And nothing else? I mean, no one special? Your mother is usually the blunt one, but I'm going to try it myself: Y/N is just a Quadrant Team Member?", Adam questioned, noticing his son's cheeks become redder.

"Is it that noticeable? I just hope she doesn't see it as much as you do", Lando groaned, rubbing his cheeks, "maybe you should hope she notices, you know? Maybe she'll admit she likes you, too. You never know", Adam patted his son's back, grabbing the gloves so he could take the tray out of the oven, "she seems like a really nice girl, kind, good work ethic, intelligent, and she's beautiful", he finished as his son sighed, grabbing the vanilla ice cream from the freezer, "she's all of that and so much more".

.

"Kygo is doing a set tonight", you heard Max say as you walked inside the living room, taking the spot on the sofa next to Lando since his mother had taken your previous spot when you went to use the bathroom, "I've been meaning to ask you guys if you wanted to go, actually. He texted me saying to tell him if we were planning on going", Lando stated.

"Go and enjoy being young, life is not all about work if you can't enjoy yourself", Cisca shared, "dad and I won't complain if you make noise when you get back", she winked.

"Would you like to go, Y/N? You can say no, that's fine, too", Lando turned to you. He knew Max would be down on a heartbeat, but he didn't want you to feel pressured to do something you didn't want to because you were at his parents' place as a guest.

"I'm good, I like his music, too. I've been wanting to see him live for a bit, actually", you smiled, thinking about how lucky you were to be able to have these experiences because of your job and friends.

Later that night, you're getting ready in your room, sitting on the carpeted floor and applying your make-up for the occasion. The dressier outfit you had brought with you consisted of a burnt red top and some pants as it had become the outfit you had felt the most comfortable and confident in to go out. The top complimented your chest and your midsection as your pants looked really good around your hips and butt, your legs elongated by the small heeled shoes you had spent years looking for. They were comfortable, pretty and functional, ticking all the boxes for what you needed for tonight.

"Y/N, can I come in?", your heard Lando knock on the door, welcoming himself when you said he could, "we are leaving in about ten minutes, if that's okay", he said, taking a good look at you as you fiddled with your earring, "yes, fine by me", you smiled looking back in the mirror propped on the bedside table and finally clasping it, looking back at him.

You took his breath away. It was as simple as that. Your hair had your natural curls he loved so much, your makeup complimented your naturally soft beautiful features and your outfit made you look incredible.

"You guys ready?", Max patted the door, propping himself on it as you grabbed your shoes, "I'll put them on downstairs", you said, carrying them in your right hand as you had your small purse on the left.

While you did the small, dainty tie on your shoes, Lando's eyes went straight for your chest, the slightly bent down position granting him an agonisingly teasing angle as he tried his best to look away, "you might want to be less obvious, you don't need to creep her out to get her to be yours", Max whispered in Lando's ear.

As soon as you arrived, Lando and Max walked with you to the VIP area, asking you what you wanted to drink before they went up to get it.

Lando looked great on his white shirt, the light coloured shirt looking great against his tanned skin as the relaxed fit complimented his back, prompting you to make sure you weren't drooling in public. You worked for his company, it would never be a good idea to get romantically involved with him, no matter how many times your heart leaped.

"A very weak Gin and Tonic for you, as requested", Max said as he pushed the cup towards you, carrying nother drink for himself, Lando sitting next to you on the booth and empty handed, "you're not drinking?", you asked, "I'm driving us all home today, I'm want to do it safely", he stated, tapping his hands on the table when he saw Kygo, signalling him to approach you.

"Hey Lando, Max", he smiled, "I'm Y/N, I work for Quadrant", you smiled, greeting him with a half hug as he introduced himself too, "my set is in a few minutes, you got here just in time. If you want to see it up close, Y/N, let me know and I'll make it happen", he winked at you.

The wink was not missed by Lando or Max. While Max wanted to laugh at his friend's jealous expression, threatening to send the norwegian DJ to a place that was less than nice and sunny, Lando couldn't believe his eyes. Yes, it was only fair that others, too, saw your beauty and noticed you, but to put themselves out like that, that was a different story. You didn't seem to bothered by all of it, sipping on your drink as you spoke to Max, pointing out different people you remember from Silverstone earlier that year.

"Kygo's starting, I want to dance!", you said, getting up and gesturing for the boys to join you. While you were used to having a lot less space to dance in, the welcomed freedom was appreciated as you playfully placed your pointer finger on Max's head, making him do a little spin, "now, no need to be jealous, Lando, you can twirl, too!", you yelled over the music blasting from the speakers, doing the same and sinking your finger on Lando's curls.

"I'm going to get another drink, want anything?", Max asked, excusing himself when you shook your head, "you know you can drink, I'm the designated driver", Lando offered, "I know, thank you for that. I just don't want to drink more", you smiled, recognising the next song, feeling brave and pulling Lando by his hand so he could dance with you.

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you

I never knew anybody 'til I knew you

And I know when it rains, oh, it pours

And I know I was born to be yours

Lando twirled you would face him, chest flush against his as his colourful eyes looked into yours intensely, "I know this is very forward, and very unlike me to be fair, but I need to get it out", he gulped as he spoke loudly in your ear, looking for any sign of discomfort from you, "I really like you, like, a lot. And I would like to know if you feel the same. Because Max and my parents seem to think you do, but all I know they're just saying so that I shut up about how much I love you and how much it would mean to me", he spoke loudly against your ear as the song played.

You were struck by his confession, not expecting it to ever happen, much less like this and in these circumstances.

"If you consider this a hostile work environment, I didn't want that, but I had to be honest with you", he gulped, "just say you don't feel the same and I'll drop the subject, okay? I might have to pretend to go somewhere else so I can be away from you a bit until things are not awkward, but don't worry, I won't drink because I'm driving and-", Lando belted out before you interrupted him, moving your face closer to his neck this time and speaking into his ear, "It's not hostile if it's consensual, right?", you smiled, a glint in your eye as his own widened, chuckling as he sang the the words in your ear, taking the opportunity to kiss your cheek near your earlobe.

"Took you two fucking long enough!", Max yelled as he approached you, tapping Lando's back in congratulations, "you know what this means, Y/N? I won't have to listen to him mope about how he thinks he was made for you and you were made for him, and that the universe would have to be playing a very bad joke of you two didn't end up together!".

"What makes you think I'll stop that? I just got the girl of my dreams, now I'll have the confirmations of all I've said! You'll just hear how amazing all of it is!", Lando smiled, hugging you close to him and kissing the top of your head.

[ashsostrange]

"averagegirlie" is just "xxoxobree", formerly known as "breeandhermunches" on a burner. newsflash, your "fav" miles writer isn't who you think she is!

ik a lot of us must be VERY confused so let me help you out. @/averagegirlie and @/xxoxobree are the same mfkn person! why did bree make this account? i assume that it's so she could fend for herself and keep the "unbothered" act up on her main page. that's why she deletes all her reblogs after arguing w someone then comes over to this account to start bsing. not to mention she can say extremely problematic things with no repercussions, because she doesn't have a following on that page + it's not tied to her.. at least it wasn't before! bree's a very messy liar. i peeped the truth so lemme share it w y'all.

bree if you're seeing this, go take a couple shots before you read. you should've kept it cute but you didn't, so let's get nasty mf.

i have receipts! let's start right here cz i find this the funniest:

nobody but her spells "internet" like that... this is one of the many examples of the two accounts talking alike, even though bree said she wouldn't refer to "yao" as a friend when the whole rashad thing was going down. yesterday, i reminded yao of that. she said "i like bree, so what" but she deleted that and changed it to "when are y'all gonna catch on to the fact that we talk?" mhm.. bree's a lil confused, but next!

y'all see "yao's" tag? telling alexa to play some bs... then y'all see bree?? NEXT!

go look on miss average's page. she only comes online to defend and ride the hell out of bree's dick. remember ts w amani? why are you going so hard for someone who says they dk you like that LMFAO. not to mention, when the rashad shit was happening, bree said "this my girl and she never been wrong" but then she turns around and says "i wouldn't say we're friends" WHICH ONE IS IT MISS MUNCH??! 😭🤣🤣 next!

why we praising tf out of bree's oc? ts was ai bro. we got a self supafan. next...

look at this smart anon, putting tg the pieces and shit. "ash and dalia fight your battles every time" is literally.. a lie. what battles are we referring to? talia's never in drama as much as you're implying. and ima ride for my friends anyway, tf? but my entire blog will never be centered around ONE human being. it ain't that serious ever. "yao" and bree need hobbies cz writing obv ain't doing it for her. next.

bree has also said she's messy lol. she likes drama. hm!

look at how she came on her white horse when bree was battling the great war w anons over miles morales smut (which i don't fw, js to be clear.) who summoned her? BREE LMFAIOFHDGFKJAS... NEXT!!!

here's miss xxoxo munches being ableist, much like her alter ego. bro went silent and blocked lia after this. now let's get into miss average again.

look at this bs. ion even gotta say much.. this girl is black & not chinese!! y'all should know why this is weird. here's the "evidence" she gave me btw:

here's me proving her wrong! she tried! next.

y'all see the way they're tagging their posts w their usernames? mhm.. ik you do.

HMMM....

these are both bree. i don't mean to bring up maye again, but i have to for context. what happened wasn't js "drama"... the things she said to dalia were racist + that post she was lyin' about lia in. she also liked the post.. dead giveaway you silly bitch! 🥱 nd she was also instigating in honey's inbox. i know her typing style and her emoji colors lol. it's common sense atp. it's not hard to tell when an anon is bree. and from what i'm seeing not even maye is fw her.. LMFAISAIDHSAY GIRL YOU'RE DONE! 😭 feel free to go thru their accs, you'll see ts too. she's funny asf for this, i'll give her that and that only. i've never laughed so much in under 24 hours. 💓

in conclusion, bree is messy, bored, insecure, ableist & miserable! she thought nobody would ever find out but here we are today. she fronts not gaf but then switches to this acc to let off some serious steam... as miss freeman once said: "Alexa, play yikes!"

but bless bree 💗 maybe if you change now, you'll still be able to collect your tokens like dalia says.

[neteyamyawne]

Same anon with the two Jake x Reader x Neytiri ideas for the 1st one I like that you did where quaritch had the reader and they saved the reader and thats how they kinda build back their relationship and for the 2 nd one where reader dies I imagined reader being lo’ak and tuk’s mama and if you wanted to you could include her funeral. Sorry I didn’t add this earlier my thoughts were kinda scrabbled

A/n : this is a lot of angst ive written, plus I've cried multiple times writing this 🙂 idk I'm just an emotional fool, anyways i hope y'all like it, i loved these requests.

Kxitx ✦

Pairing : Jake x reader x Neytiri

Summary : 2. Of request and above request

Song : space song

Angst ✦

❈ Warning : major death, angst, crying, mourning, self blaming, blood, hurt not comfort etc lmk if more.

❈ Word count : 3.1k proof read

❈ Note : idk why I wrote something like this, like it hurts me to even read it also it's like a half fic, half headcanon 😂

"word" - dialogue

❈ Glossary : ma'itan - my son, ma'evi - my child, muntxate - female mate/wife, tiyawn - love, yawne - beloved.

You sank down under the water, your breath coming out short as a bright pain bloomed in your chest, Neteyam turned looking at you, both his and lo'ak's eyes widened at the blood pooling around you, you got above the surface, your face twisting in pain as you said "I'm- I'm shot" sinking below again but Lo'ak immediately pulled you on his ilu, Neteyam helped you settle on it, Tsireya was trailing behind as they made their way towards the stony island, you held onto lo'ak's hand as you spoke "ma' itan, i see you ma'evi" he shook his head in disbelief, not wanting to say goodbye just yet, making his ilu ride even faster than before, your eyelids feel heavy but you fought the urge to close them "mama, please don't close your eyes, we're nearly there, dad will know what to do! Please just keep your eyes open, please" his voice pleading, almost begging you, Neteyam was horrified as much as Lo'ak, he was hardly processing the fact, he couldn't imagine a world without you, reaching the island, Jake stood mortified at the sight of you bleeding, his two sons immediately hauling you over and he bent down to help them "careful watch her head, Watch her HeAd!" They gently laid you down, a fit of cough bubbled up in your chest, spitting out blood, Jake stilled, his heart sinking down and down per minute, he quickly got on your side, lifting your injured side looking at your back, There…. The exit wound. "shit, no" laying you back down, a hand on your cheek as you grabbed his wrist "ma'Jake, i-" he voice wavered as he spoke, tears lined his eyes "no, please, you can't" you smiled, giving him a reassuring pat even in your final moments the only thing on your mind was your family, your lungs constricting with the passing second, before you could say anything Neytiri landed near you, Lo'ak was putting pressure on your wound, chanting to eywa to keep you alive, Neteyam was trying not to cry while grabbing your hand but you knew, this was it, your time as come.

Neytiri sat down near your thigh, taking your hand from Neteyam, while he sat near your legs, Neytiri's heart dropping to her feet at your sight, tears almost already falling down her eyes, looking at Jake for information but he shook his head looking down, not being able to make eye contact with her, "No, no no no, please great mother" her voice was barely above a whisper, your felt a pang through your chest, you knew if you didn't speak now, you'd never get a chance to again, ever, with great difficulty you finally spoke "tell tuk, i love her, so so much, i love you too Lo'ak and 'teyam, I'm sorry i won't get to see you all grown u-" you coughed, more blood spilling out, your breaths puffing up, hastily grabbing onto Neytiri's and Jake's arm, your eyes Frantic as you spoke your final sentences "tell Kiri, I'll give her greetings to grace, take care of them for me, you all have been my whole world – Jake, tiri, you brou- brought the whole wor- world to me, my loves, I can't thank you enough — ma'Jake, ma'Neytiri, I se- see-" your hand slipped from their arms, the last of the exhale leaving your mouth, body going limp, eyes dilating, lips still frozen in forming the next word.

Neytiri's wailed sounded throughout the space as Jake leaned his head against yours, tears flowing down his cheeks, Lo'ak sat in shock, immovable, he didn't want to believe his mama is gone, forever, your hand still in his, Neteyam shook your leg lightly as if you'd wake up from this cruel slumber, spider watched from afar tears rolling down his own cheeks, Neytiri pulled your head against her chest, her cries shattering Jake's heart, your body was growing cold now, Jake had no choice but to get up, taking Neytiri with him, he still had his daughters to save, Neytiri looked at him with hollow eyes, nothing but sorrow filled in them, his throat constricted as he spoke "we have get our girls back, strong heart Ney, strong heart!" His voice broke in the end, but Neytiri turned around, climbing on her ikran as it roared taking off, Jake turned to take one last look at your body before walking away too.

Back at the rock after battle :

Jake :

He watched as your body laid still, not one moment, his mind numb, silent tears falling down his eyes but he did not bother to wipe them.

Holding your hand close to him, begging any god who'd listen to bring you back, to take him instead but just give you back to him.

He did not speak a word, silently taking in your features, remembering them for one last time.

He blamed himself for not being there to protect you, he made a promise to be there for you, to cherish you, but there you were, a promise so broken, a promise he failed to keep.

He quitely traced the freckles on your face, the ones that glowed so bright with your smile, the freckles he loved so much, the patterns reminding him if the constellations, he could stare at them for hours on end, but he only has a few minutes till it all disappears

Caressing your face, as memories of your laughter, giggles, frowns and pouts flooded his mind, it was torture to relive the memories.

Your smile of pure happiness when Lo'ak was born, even after hours of pain and exhaustion dawning over you, you held your son like he'd disappear if you didn't hold him tight enough, Jake could never forget that day either as you almost broke his wrist during the labor but he wasn't complaining as you endured much worse than that.

He let go of your hand, Missing the sensation immediately but stopped himself from grabbing it again, walking back towards the edge of the rock as he finally let the weight of your death crash down on him, breaking down, sobs wrecking his body, he let everything out.

Neytiri :

Her wails could be heard throughout the ocean as she held your head close to her chest again. Crying for her beloved mate, her loving muntxate, her mind wasn't ready to accept it.

Clutching you close, begging your corpse to speak just once but there was no response, cursing and begging eywa to give you back to her.

Your blood coated her body but she didn't care, she couldn't breathe between her sobs, couldn't let go of you, not like this, you promised her forever, now you left her nothing but memories, memories that were once so real now just mere thoughts.

She smiled at the thought of the first time she held tuk in her arms, they almost lost you that day too, tuk did come out but not without complications,you were under observation for more than five days, even Jake was shaken up.

She stared at the necklace you always wore around your neck, never once removing it, given by her, the first mating gift she made for you, Neytiri's heart breaking even more as it laid so lifeless, no longer filled from your love.

Holding your hand once again, the once soft and warm skin now felt cold and rough, bringing it to her cheek, letting the sensation of it seep deep within her, making herself remember it for good, never in her life she thought she'd be so unlucky to see this day.

Her cries not turning into mumbled sighs, leaning down, kissing your forehead for one last time, gathering enough courage to bid you the last goodbye.

With trembling hands she removed your song chord from your braid, the beads and trinkets woven into it, tinkled against each other, she passed a hand through your braids, remembering how you begged her to do your hair because 'she does it better' she'd laugh but your persuasion would win in the end

The beads in your hair seem dull now, no longer holding the meaning behind them, as if you took it with you, leaving behind just the meaningless pebbles and shells.

Neytiri closed her eyes, not even close to readied to let you go, it physically pained her to move on, but Jake pulled her back, to let your body be taken back to awa'atlu, her mind so engrossed in you she didn't even notice the metkayina warriors behind her.

Trying her best to keep the composure but failed when you were finally taken away from her.

Neteyam :

He was shaken to his core, you were his safe person, the one he could confess his deepest secret to and would not be judged for it.

Without you who'd listen to him? He listened to everyone but you were the only one who heard his problem intently, the only one who actually saw him, but you were gone, forever, so far away from him.

Tears wouldn't stop running down his face, even after he harshly wiped them off, to not show his weakness, they still slided down his face.

He sat near your feet, sniffling hard, wiping his nose as he sobbed for you, all his happy memories included you, there is no time in his life that he didn't spend without you.

He loved your hugs, when Jake used to be a little too hard, your hugs calmed him down, your words a soothing feeling as he used to sleep in your arms, maybe sometimes lo'ak snuggled in but the attention was always on him.

Who'd hug him now? Comfort him like you did? He was not ready for this, for you to go away so suddenly, he needed you, you were his rock, you grounded him, how could he be ready for something like this?

He lightly grazed his hand over your knee, wanting to wake up from this cruel nightmare, all hopes of you waking up vanishing slowly, as you laid there as if you were sleeping.

He got up, standing beside Jake as he pulled him in for a hug, not bearing to look back at you, eyes fixated on the ground as Neteyam sobbed in his father's arms, finally accepting the fact that you're gone forever.

Lo'ak :

He stared at your blood on his hands, not having the courage to face you, how could he live without you not by his side?

Sobs never came out, tears never fell down but his heart broke into a million pieces, too shocked to respond.

He bent down, connecting his forehead with yours as his voice was barely over a whisper "I'm sorry, mama, don't leave me like this, I need you with me, please, I'm so sorry" the words becoming softer and softer until they were barely heard.

He couldn't breathe properly, everything was crumbling down, you were his world, his mama, how was he supposed to live without you?

You were the one who saved him from Jake's scolding and Neytiri's glare, you were his safe space, his best friend, the person who would listen to his every banter, who would do that now?

He blamed himself for everything, if he didn't ask to save spider then you'd be still alive, alive beside him, hugging him, kissing his forehead like you always did, making sure if he was okay! But now he sat alone, inconsolable.

He sobbed finally as he couldn't take it anymore, finally as the barriers broke, Tsireya holding him tightly, he couldn't help but think that it should have been him, it should be him lying in your place, you deserved better than this.

He fell apart in Tsireya's arms, crying like he never did before, his wails so deep it rattled the ones sitting beside him, letting out everything but in its place now laid an empty void, filled with nothing but despair.

His mom is gone, he'll never have his favorite dish made by you, you'll never hold him in your arms when he is sad, you were gone, somewhere so far away that he couldn't reach.

Kiri :

Kiri sat with tuk in her arms, even if you weren't her biological mom, you treated her like your own, spoiling her with her favorite things every time she felt low, braiding her hair just how she liked, never once complaining if she gave you some attitude.

You'd accompany her everytime she visited Grace, never letting go of her hand when she watched the video logs again and again.

Always letting her know how loved she was, you were her mom too, just like Neytiri, your bond so unique.

You understood her connection with eywa, giving her guidance over how well she could maintain it.

If she felt like the day was just not good, she'd make a beeline to you even if it was middle of the night and wrap your arms around her without a word, Letting her know you're there for her.

Sitting by the edge her tears were uncontrollable, she hugged tuk tightly as memories flooded her mind but none seemed to comfort her right now.

Slowly, as there were no tears left to she'd, she stopped crying only relishing in your memories as she stared at you in your last moments.

Tuk :

She sat in her older sister's arms, not knowing what was happening, her mama was lying down, to her she was sleeping but ohh how she misunderstood it.

She struggled in her sister's arms, finally getting out, she made her way to you, sitting by your side, shaking your arm to wake you up but you never did.

When Jake saw her sitting beside you, he immediately picked her up, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her lower lip wobbling as she spoke "daddy, why isn't mama waking up?" he was left speechless, what was he supposed to say?

He said with as much as steadiness he muster "mama, is resting sweetheart, she is resting with eywa now, you'll see her again one day, now she's gonna sleep for a long while, she's tired you know?"

Tuk nodded but she knew something was wrong but her little mind couldn't process it, in that moment she just cried in her father's neck for a while before drifting off in her dreams.

The Funeral :

Your body was wrapped in the brown leather, pulling your limbs closer to your torso, as it laid in the raft that was pulled by an ilu guided by Jake, your hair beautifully done by Neytiri for the last time, the beads in your hair representing each of your family members, the whole village stood by watching as the sully's silently brought your body to the center, letting the raft float for a while, as Jake got down from the ilu and they circled around it, tuk gently touched your face floating beside Kiri, Lo'ak sniffed trying not to cry, Neteyam helped spider stay afloat, Neytiri wore your necklace, the one she gifted to you, the traditional metkayina attire draping over her head, her face twisting in pain as she looked at your peaceful features, Jake stared at your face taking you all in for the last time, the flower petals slipped into the sea water as the raft was dipped down, your body shifting down with it, slowly making you afloat, Jake and Neytiri took deep breaths, readying themselves for the dive, finally with one last glance at each other they dunk you in, taking you down near the glowing yellow plants, with one light push the plant enveloped you in their tiny arms, like a golden blanket overlapping eachother to keep you warm in your sleep, Lo'ak saw from above as a sob bubbled up his chest, but still watched until he was dragged away by Neteyam. The eldest son crying himself, still he held onto the useless hope of you returning back.

Lo'ak stared at the glowing plants that held you, your body completely invisible, if he didn't know better it almost looked like there's nothing. Jake and neytiri got up to the surface, the family hugged each other with one member less now.

The sorrow of the family was unmatched, the metkayinas gave their condolences but it wouldn't bring you back though. Soon it was time to visit the spirit tree, to bond with it and forever be recognised as metkayina.

Jake's memory of you : (with neytiri)

You sat near the edge of the lake,the lake where you, Jake and neytiri visited every week, just some alone time for the three of you, legs dangling, feets in the water, splashing it once or twice, your hands busy as you weaved the shawl for Jake, you had made it your mission to make him a new one as the old one was…. Well old!

You were startled when Jake sat beside you quietly, startled was an understatement, he nearly gave you a heart attack. He chuckled when you hit his arm, your laughter music to his ears "Great mother! Jake, you scared me." He just nudged you, his eyes falling onto the fabric in your hand "what are you making, tiyawn?" Your smile made his heart melt as you said "I'm making a shawl for you ma'jake, the old is too short for you" tears pricked his eyes, grabbing the shawl in his hand, swiping at the soft material, a tear falling down on it. You looked up at him confused, why was his crying? Is this not what he wanted? "Ma'jake, why are you crying? You don't like the shawl? Is there something wrong with it?" Your voice full of concern, while he shook his head lightly, he answered, almost a whisper as he brought his hand to my cheek, another tear falling down his face "No, no- *sigh* I'm just happy to see you, yawne" you smiled at his words, relieved he didn't dislike the shawl, you said "I'm happy to see you too, ma'jake", while you were far away from knowing the truth.

Neytiri watched from a distance, fingers lightly covering her lips, tears of her own sliding down the curve of her cheek, walking up to both of you, you immediately pulled her down to sit beside you, Jake and neytiri both shared a glance at each other, while you snuggled in neytiri's side, you sigh "it's nice isn't it? I'd die to stay in this moment forever!" Jake stared at you, his heart broke all over again ; only if you knew, in the end he pulled you both in a tight hug, while you giggled in between them, both Jake and Neytiri savored the moment until the last second,as soon they wouldn't be able to do it again.

Jake didn't realize how time passed and with a heavy heart he disconnected his queue from the tree, opening his eyes atlast…

Yawne : @fanboyluvr, @callmeoncette, @lu-the-ghost-reader, @brisbriskett, @saltedcoffeescotch, @ducks118, @itscheybaby, @jackiehollanderr, @zoetrope1997, @yeosxxx, @persefolli, @im-in-a-pansexual-panik, @theycallmesia, @elijangwifey, @erosthefae, @murderbirbdany, @killua2dot0, @ilovechickenwings, @kylobensgirl, @darling-imobsessed, @majathepapaya, @sweetirilly, @reinap06, @neteyamforlife, @thatgirljas13, @totesnothere04, @arminsgfloll.

©Neteyamyawne2023 | All Rights Reserved. Do not repost on other platforms, copy, steal, or translate any of my works!

[inspector-montoya-fox]

"boy drama" HSHDJSK yeah i love the idea of penelope and murray being Bros just chilling and ignoring everything lmfao. like i get why we didn't (time, pacing etc... bah) but i really wish we got more of the extended gang just hanging out (tm). i can see penelope just being just down for tinkering w cool shit and having a good time w her new pals. and being totally oblivious to bentley's thirsting for her (kinda links in to me reading her as some kinda neurodivergent ig? i've said it before and i'll say it again but creating and maintaining an entire alter ego in order to get past age restrictions/implied gender bias and dominate the field of your hobby is absolute TOP tier nd girlboss energy)

trust one of my main issues with Sly 3 is how it's a game all about assembling a gang of thieves but benches them completely for almost its entirety. like i get wanting to roam the hubs as Penelope, Guru or PK whenever might be unreasonable to ask for (i guess?), but not having them around at all in the safehouse is such a bizarre choice. and the idea of having Penelope tinkering on gadgets in the back is perfect bestie

even looking past this, the cutscene sections of the gang hanging out together are so limited. we're mostly treated to them traveling in their silly goofy disguises (which ok, iconic). give me Sly 1 end of episode cutscenes, where the gang just idk has fun. give me Penelope beating the boys at their videogames

[auduux]

MCSM Season 3

This is just a small teaser on what I have currently have, or the start of it in other words. I've decided on the chapter word count to be 20k and the first 10k words of this chapter will be posted on ao3 as a teaser when i have it. Until then I'll be posting small, spread out excerpts from what I have. This is an au where Jesse makes a deal with romeo and he keeps his powers but isn't allowed to kill people or destroy their homes. Xara is also given back her admin powers.

Note, this is with female Jesse not male, I have yet to start on male Jesse's version. Also note that this is subject to change, I actually don't like it very much.

---

“…Nd this is why you were always the leader, because you're a control freak!"

"Maybe I would actually trust you if you didn't try and kill us all and lock us under bedrock!"

Jesse recognized the voices, they were, in fact, who she was intending to see. The admins keep was a perfect mix of Xara and Romeo's colors, a surprisingly well mix of red, black, purple, and white. It wasn't that far from Beacontown but it was on top of a mountain, because Romeo wouldn't agree otherwise. He still wasn't on the best of terms with Beacontown and liked ignoring his problems rather than face them. Petra and Lukas liked to say that Xara did it on purpose to terrorize the admin.

It was hard in the beginning, trusting him, but Jesse’s access to the golden gauntlet kept him in line at least. They’d formed somewhat of a friendship, more of a strained partnership than anything. Romeo helped with a lot of things around Beacontown, even though he wanted to stay out of the public eye. His shape shifting abilities helped with that.

The double doors that she was about to open burst open before she was able to grab the handle, making her jump back. Romeo was the one who had opened them, storming away while muttering something to himself. Another bad fight then.

"Ohh, he pisses me off!" Xara yelled once he rounded the corner, throwing something at the wall which shattered on impact. She was seething, Jesse could even see it from across the room. Xara was never that good at handling her emotions.

"Bad fight?" Jesse asked as she stepped in, Radar and Petra, who had wanted to come along, following her. Radar wanted to help with what Jesse and Petra had planned for their return, and Petra didn't trust the admins. Well, she didn't trust Romeo. Her and Xara got along well enough.

"Yeah, yeah, no, no, no...it wasn't. Just the usual." Xara sighed, running a hand over his face before waving the hand to make the shattered item vanish. Her admin appearance was less "regal" than Romeo. By choice. She chose to take on a more human form after so long of being stuck as a human. It gave her comfort was always Jesse's guess for the reason.

"Just give him a chance, he's trying. In his own way." Jesse said, walking over to Xara and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I still don't know how you forgave him so quickly." Xara responded, shaking her head. The statement sounded like it was meant to be an insult, but it wasn't, she knew that. Took a while to get used to it though.

"I'll...I’ll try. It's...hard though. He's done so much; I don't know if I can ever trust him again." Xara continued, grabbing her arm and rubbing it. It was a nervous tic she had, like Romeo and his tail and ears. It always swayed when he was nervous, and his ears started flicking.

"You'll never know unless you try." Jesse smiled, retracting her hand from Xara's shoulder. They were almost the same height, though Xara was taller. Romeo was a lot taller than both of them, actually he towered over everyone she’d had him meet.

"Thank you, Jesse." Xara responded, walking away from Jesse to get Radar away from an item he was about to pick up. Romeo had a lot of odd trinkets laying around, he liked creating things. Challenges, items, blocks, mobs. Anything, really. Having to participate in his challenges was always tiresome though. Sometimes it was fun, and he would usually give them rare items, but he was always making new ones and harassing them until they agreed. Even Radar, he'd taken a liking to him.

[ktempestbradford]

Cait Corrain and Mental Health as Excuse

A new interview with Corrain, the SFF author who review-bombed authors she saw as getting "more attention" than her, just dropped. It's at The Daily Beast; pause before you click that link.

There are CWs on the page for "severe mental illness and substance abuse" and I'd like to add one for Racist Nonsense.

If you already read Cait's "apology" then there's not much new here. It's a wordy expansion on the stuff she said before with even more I didn't mean to be racist it just ended up that way by happenstance! After she posted her initial apology I thought about making a post like this, then didn't (due to some of what I'll mention). After reading this interview, I'm even more upset and angry.

I know it's because of what I've been dealing with the past 10 months or so. I'm going through a mental health crisis that has had a huge impact on my ability to work and write. Some of this is internal to my brain, some exacerbated by life (multiple family deaths, severe weather messing up our rental house, ongoing fear of covid). I'm not okay, and it's a struggle to move every day toward being more okay. My mental health issues are not as severe as the ones Corrain details. For me, they are more severe than I have experienced previously.

Thus, I can grok on some levels the issues that impacted Cait. I am not qualified to judge if her diagnosis truly matches up with the actions she took. Whether she's telling the truth or not, it comes down to this:

None of that matters.

Not as concerns how her actions impacted the SFF community and especially BIPOC authors.

None of the details of her neurodiversity, her mental illness, or her destructive medication journey matter to the wider community. They matter to Cait, and Cait's loved ones, and the people in Cait's life.

She can say as many times as she likes that it's not an excuse and she takes full responsibility. I don't believe that she is taking responsibility.

She can also say that she's giving the public all these details in order to start a conversation about how hard it is to be a writer or a debut author who is ND or who struggles with mental health. I don't believe her. This is not about starting a conversation, or helping others, or calling attention to issues that I agree are important to discuss and highlight and support people through.

This is, in my view, about attempting to gain sympathy by oversharing and counting on this community to not push back. Because what monster would blame someone with mental illness?

In the end, what Corrain needs is healing and support and time to rebuild herself from the people who love and care for her.

Not from the community she damaged, regardless of why that happened.

Her healing needs to take place away from us, her struggles should not be foisted on us, and her redemption arc does not and should not involve us. Because this community needs to focus on the people she hurt, needs to be part of healing both the personal and the cultural matrix that contributed to that hurt, and we need to figure out together how we come out of this stronger and protect ourselves from it in the future.

Again I say: My view on this is 100% informed by my own struggles. It's also informed by the reasons I have been able to keep on moving forward even when everything is hard: My friends. My loved ones. The corners of the SFF community that always lift me up.

Which is why it's unfathomable to me how anyone could think that it's in any way appropriate to continue to try and push themselves on people like this. It's not okay.

[imqueerandadeer]

Okay it's time again for rants and personal stories no one fucking asked for. Todays topic: How fucking rampant and normalized ableism is, with comments from @pansgoobernonsense as usual.

Really long post ahead guys you've been warned.

The reason it has been featured in the last post and now this one is because it's also ND and Asian and I wanted to get other peoples experiences with ableism.

It also said that I can interview it for practice because journalism sounds cool to me and I might want to be a journalist.

Anyways obligatory disclaimer/reminder. I don't speak for all mentally disabled people because we are not a monolith!! For example I am great at masking my ADHD and Autism (I'll get into that with more context later) and it's somthing I've picked up subconsciously. Other people with my same conditions may not be good at masking.

Also this post will mostly center around mental disabilities, specifically ADHD and autism because thats what we have and know most about. Neither me nor my friend are physically disabled (to my knowledge) so I won't speak much on it because It's not my place.

Alright with that out of the way lets add some context.

Hi, if you don't know me or haven't seen my blog before (most of you probably have though in some shape or form) I'm Ollie or Cupid. I have ADHD, self diagnosed (and peer diagnosed) autism, and possible dyscalculia. Theres also a millon other things I'm suspicious about having but I won't get into those.

Lets start with this, imagine (or don't idc) that your back in *gasp* middle school. Terrifying. Now since this is tumblr I'm gonna assume most of you have autism and/or ADHD so y'all most likely know what it's like to be in middle school and be ND. But still I wanted to talk about my experiences with ableism in school.

Okay I've noticed that the difference of how I get treated because I mask and those that can't mask for whatever reason is wildly different. I have instructional support which is technically special ed and no one has ever called me "Sped" or the R-slur. Versus the the kids who visibly have support needs and their disabilities are present. They get called those things all the fucking time.

The hypocrisy of it all is what really gets me. Kids at my school will really stand there and call these other kids dehumanizing things while I stand there as a person with ADHD and autism having to akwardly laugh it off and pretend it doesn't effect me. Yes of course I tell them off but it doesn't work, because they have been taught that what they're saying is fine and people who have higher support needs are not human, which is wrong and ablesist.

Thats not even their fault really it's what they were taught. Although if they weren't taught it and they know It's wrong but still do it then it's their fault

It genuinely got so bad that me and my friends wrote a letter to the office telling them about the ablesist language at our school, I don't think the letters ever got sent but yeah it was that bad.

On another note I don't think my schools very wheelchair accessible at all, although I wouldn't know really because I don't use a wheelchair.

Now heres @pansgoobernonsense experiences woth ableism as a whole, while mine were mostly about school its are more personal

"My personal experiences with ableism are mostly from my parents, and since I have not one but two neurodevelopmental disorders I’ve experienced it a lot. The most notable of these experiences come from my parents reaction to my autism.

A notable example was the time I was crying because I didn’t want to go to a party (I had had a panic attack at another similar party at the same place with similar people) and my dad had said I didn’t need to go but my mom made me.

I tried to explain (through tears) that I didn’t want to go and my dad angrily called me “autistic”. I’ve also been told to just “act normal” in social situations (despite the textbook definition of autism being essentially “I can’t act normal in social situations”). My parents have also neglected to tell me about my diagnosis for basically my entire life.

I was diagnosed when I was 2-3 and only found out this year. The reason behind this decision was “if I knew I’d tell everyone and use it as a get out of jail free card”.

They seem to treat my diagnosis as a label rather than an actual disability. It makes sense, since historically mental disabilities haven’t been treated the same as physical disabilities, but it’s still an awful experience."

While my experiences with things like this haven't been as severe as Nicks experiences I do have some of my own.

One time I was talking to my mother and she said that they suspected I had ADHD but didn't get me tested until I was 12 because she didn't want me on meds that early, which yes is a semi fair point but still why would you keep your suspicions a secret until I startes to notice and suspect it myself. That seems so weird to me and it could have saved me a lot if trouble if she had just told me.

Anyways thats it, sorry if it's not cohesive or coherent it's 1:00 am for me, I need to sleep

[not-goldy]

Tumblr please bring back my update.

It was a long ass post too and Tumblr jx sweeped it under the rugs damn

So Re my gf's dialog of doom- FALSE ALARM😭😭😭

Sis jx wanted to know what I wanted to do on my birthday💀

But like why did she say it like that cos I peed pooped puked pivoted ALL THE BIG P's at the same time😭😭😭😭😭😭

Sis don traumatized me in this relationship 🤧

Anyone who knows what's been going on between us last year. weve been going through this process close to and near my birthday that ends with us breaking up- and then getting back together.

It's very simple, she missed my birthday last year ND the year before that. No post no greetings no calls nothing. So what did I do? Nothing. Didn't complain didnt ask questions. NOTHING.

And it hurt cos I used to do everything for her on her birthday to let her know I be feeling her like that- and honestly I just think it's nice to do nice things for people you care about and her birthday is jx an excuse for me to show her I care and give her experiences and moments ya know?

I don't know. May be it's my mistake I keep giving her the love I want for myself and I keep loving her in ways I never had.

Anywho, I had had enough of her analysis retentive attitude so close to her birthday, I got her all excited, called up her friends to let them know I was planning something for her. I even asked if they wanted to come cos I knew they would tell her either way. they a bunch of clowns really🤡

On her birthday, she cleared her schedule and seemed in a really good mood- I cleared my schedule too( we worked together then, she's my boss so she definitely knew I cleared my schedule that day)

Then on her birthday, I took myself out on a nice getaway staycation got me some nice lingerie pampered my back and toes, had those feet fetishized and love kissed by them cute weird freaky feet eating fishes with foot fetish, strolled through long halls naked under the robe with a glass of wine, and let my phone ring on silence.

Came back n acted like I'd been out with people and had the time of my life.

You can't stress me out and expect me not to love myself.

I'LL LOVE MYSELF ON YOUR BIRTHDAY😘

This year. I totally forgot she's a March born like I stopped caring bout her birthday n I wasn't even trying to be petty or nuin😭😭😭😭😭

I just don't care anymore 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

So when she said we needed to talk, turns out she just wanted to talk about that and call it truce cos she says she can't keep going through that year after year.

And frankly I can't either cos I be having my entire heart ripped out of my chest it be looking like a homicide inside my ribcage- but it doesn't stop me from returning the energy on her birthdays too cos I'M PETTY AS FUCK DUDE

I'm a Libra don't mess with me. I'll take the L, go through all the motions, feel that hurt and pain and betrayal and when I'm done- RUN

ILL GEAR UP AND SERVE YOU HOT STEAMING PILE OF LAVA BOILING REVENGE COOKED STRAIGHT FROM HELL'S COLD KITCHEN😌

She asked me what my plans are for my birthday and I honestly have nothing planned at all- I jx want to be quiet and alone and watch Netflix.

She's hurt cos she says I used to want to do things together with her on my birthday.

I don't know if I've changed like she says but frankly as much as I love her I don't enjoy being with her anymore.

I'd rather spend my birthday alone, do things alone- I love her want her- it's just I'm scared of another fight and yet again another break up and if us being distant is the only way we can have a semblance of a normal relationship then I'll take that.

And I'll rather have this than not have her at all.

Chilee I don't know anymore.

Also yall quit complaining bout me bringing my drama to your doorstep. Like yall have audacity hanging around my blog for free 99 and expecting relative peace and drama free services😹😹😹😹😹

Say it after me, We all in this together

Mi drama is su drama adios 😘😆

[glacierruler]

Nimona Analysis

Hi, so for those of you who don't know, I watched Nimona last night and kind of live blogged it! So if you click on that link, those are my live reactions to the show. Some of them more thought out than others. And also I was wrong a whole lot near the end of the movie. This post will be the analysis of the movie itself, I'll be analyzing the characters a little bit later. I'll come back and put links to the character analyses after I finish each one.

I'm going to tag two people specifically who I think would love to read this, based off of the interactions I had while liveblogging! @duck-in-a-spaceship and @wolfxkissed (I hope you don't mind the tag wolfxkissed, I just know you said that you'd like to read this!)

This post will contain spoilers for the movie Nimona

Also this is probably the longest text post I've ever made

Some CWs: suicide mentions, suicide attempt, trauma, religious trauma, brainwashing, cult like behavior, abuse, isolation, ableism, queerphobia, death, attempted murder, murder

Please tell me if I missed any, again this movie is dark, so this analysis of the movie will be touching on the darker aspects of things.

Okay, the first thing I want to say, is I love the writing that went into this movie. Each and every single character had thought behind every action they made. And while my live blog went somewhat deep into some of the actions behind the characters, it nowhere near does them justice. However, before we analyze the characters I want to analyze the movie itself(which will have a bit of character analysis in it, but not nearly as much as they all deserve). I'll be trying to go in the order of most light hearted to most dark.

I think that Nimona was specifically made for the Tumblr queer and ND folks, don't get me wrong, it was probably made for queer and ND people in general, however based on the humor, the beliefs of the characters(especially Nimona herself), and the execution of how the movie shows certain things just leads me to believe that at least one of the main writers for this show is a tumblr user. (/hj /hsrs)

Now with that, let's get into the movie.

Again this is not a scene by scene analysis of everything but a lightest to darkest topics analysis.

First I want to talk about the usage and reversal of common tropes. Usually the light and dark knight trope is used to symbolize who's in the wrong and who's in the right. You're usually rooting for the light knight and booing the dark one, the dark one's the villain. Which is why I like how they did this, they took that trope and reversed it, but they did so by making it so that neither knight were the actual villain. Both were hurt and brainwashed into a society that they hoped and wanted to accept them. Pitted against each other because of misunderstandings, lies, and where they were in their character arcs.

I want to talk about the isolation and loneliness that Nimona feels throughout this whole movie. In the scene where she's remembering her trauma vividly, you can't help but feel for her. She tried to be loved by every creature, but all of them inherently knew that she was different than them somehow, and she finally makes a friend, Gloreth, and she's a human. Someone who had embraced Nimona for who she is, instead of turning her away. Now I believe there are two reasons for this.

The creatures ignoring Nimona is to show the way a lot of ND folks tend to be ignored by those that they wish to be friends with at best. I want to touch on this more, but despite being ND myself, I don't think I was on the receiving end of this, or if I was I didn't really notice 'cause I was busy with my friends who are almost all slightly ND.

How trans people are villainized and ostracized in our society, and that when kids are younger, they tend not to care deeply about things like that until their parents take a stance on it. I say this because Gloreth did not care about the shapeshifting at first, she had been a bit nervous because it meant that Nimona was different. But overall Gloreth had found it cool that Nimona could do that(which was my internal reaction to my friends coming out before I realized I was genderfluid myself, I didn't know it was possible so it was the coolest thing ever and I wished that I could do that, although it seemed Gloreth was content with not being able to shapeshift so that last part might not apply to her).

What makes this so heartwrenching, is at the end of the scene, you see the first time Nimona was villainized by others, being so surprised and hurt physically and emotionally. They had all seen something so different in this little girl that they had known, and decided she needed to die because of it. The thing that had saved Nimona, her ability to shapeshift. The trait that I believe she comes to hate most about herself.

Which, okay, I know that one's going to be hard for me to explain. But hear me out. (I say as if that movie didn't touch on her self hatred of her powers at all, despite it being like a main plot point.) Nimona had been ostracized and almost murdered because of her powers, called a monster. As strong as she is, when something like that is ingrained into your head, it doesn't matter how much you know it's not true, it still feels true. Her powers are I think the one thing she hated and loved about herself the most. She loved being able to transform, to be herself, there's no denying that. But everyone else hated it. They hated her for it.

Which brings me to all the underlying and not so underlying queerphobia in the movie. Not in the oh this movie is so queerphobic way, but in the oh this movie went through and showed all the queerphobia that todays society had and still has even with people who say they're progressive, it is calling us as a society out for this which is sadly rare to see in movies and shows that make commentary about society. It's less rare now, but still rare or not done right. But with this show, they did it so well. So much thought was put into this. With some of Ballister's lines really hitting how, transphobia especially, can come from more 'progressive' people or even people in the community. Especially the, "Not everyone is as accepting as me,"(paraphrased) line. Telling someone to hide who they are, can make them feel isolated and alone, and it hurts worse when it comes from someone who you thought would at least come from someone on the same page as you. Really emphasized by the fact that both of them are seen as villains for something that's not their fault.

This is one of the reason's that I really like Ballister's character arc, and how he grows in the movie. He's not perfect, and I'm so glad about that you have no idea. If he or Ambrosius had been perfect I would've hate watched the rest of the movie, simply because of everything that's happening around and to them, it would've ruined the movie. idk, maybe that's just a me thing. Anyways, back to what I was talking about. He was set up for the murder of the queen who we learned was questioning everything about Gloreth. Because of this and the prejudice already against him because he wasn't of noble blood, it was easy for the population to believe that he had killed the queen. In fact, I believe that if this had happened irl, we would've believed that. But I'll hop onto that point later. Because of the position he had been placed in, one would think that Ballister would be able to understand where Nimona is coming from better, but he doesn't and can't because of how he himself had been raised and brainwashed. Which again, will be the next point I talk about, although it's hard not to talk about it here too much as well, because Ballister's dangerous misunderstandings about Nimona come from being raised in a cult-like environment. And you see him battling his thoughts, especially in the later part of the movie, having realized that he was asking small minded questions that were hurting her. But because of how he viewed her and how he was trying to change how he viewed her, it still got to him in the end. However, you can still see the character growth because he can't call her a monster. Which is when you see Nimona's despair and hatred for herself as well, because she did. She called herself a monster, and she ran out believing it.

However a lot of the underlying queerphobic subtext comes from Todd, who is quick to beat up those who divert from what the director wants/says. Much like how queerphobia comes mainly from the Christian church in most places. Todd mocked Ambrosius for being in love with Ballister, he beat up Ballister asking for information on Nimona. Which might not be seen as queerphobic, but with the situations and circumstances, it is. It is literally to show how queerphobia like that comes from high ranking places, and the people in those places either join in or turn a blind eye to everyone. This is more based on what I was feeling during the film though, so I don't really have much to back it up with.

Now before getting into the darkest aspects of this story, I want to talk about the cult-like behavior of the monarchy in Nimona. This monarchy raised noble children who raised noble children who raised noble children to rise up and be able to defend the kingdom from monsters, which we either knew coming into the movie, or learned later throughout it, was a bs excuse to maintain power. An excuse that came from the 'monster' being hurt by the humans, instead of hurting the humans like everyone has been told had happened. The director knows this, she has to, based on her speech to Nimona pretending to be Ambrosius. The queen had been looking into things, so the queen had to be killed. It was also a strategic move killing the queen, because, at least from my perspective, the director seems more like a beloved religious figure, especially with how she dresses, I wouldn't be surprised if that was why they chose that outfit for her. To symbolize how governments will take a certain religion, and use it for their own power, and if something diverts from what the religion wants, then it's this horrible evil thing.

Throughout this film both Ballister and Ambrosius made choices that most people would get mad or upset at, because they don't necessarily understand these choices. But both of these individuals have been raised in this cult like environment that thrives off of lies for their whole lives. And nothing had ever challenged that false perception of the world before, so they had no way of knowing anything else. And it was heart wrenching because I know what it's like having to go through that.

Ballister was ostracized because he had worked his way to the top, which the director did not like. Although she pretended to let him in so she could frame him for the queen's murder. But there was really only one person on Ballister's side, his boyfriend, Ambrosius, and then he lost that as soon as the queen died. (Which, to be fair to Ambrosius, if your bf was holding the sword that killed the queen in front of everyone you would think your bf killed her as well).

But I think the most telling part of how fucked up this cult-like institution had become, was that Ballister thought everything would be fine if he showed his bf the clip of his sword getting switched. He thought, that if that had happened, there was no way that Ambrosius would think he was a murderer anymore. And then the confrontation happened, and the director was whispering lies in Ambrosius's ears, to keep him on her side. Forcing him into a situation to choose, between the person he knew the most, or the institute. And in his mind, he had to choose the institute, because everything pointed to his boyfriend being the murder, yes he finds out later that it's fabricated by the institute, but he had no way of telling that, and so was torn between this decision.

I think the only thing I didn't like is how rushed it seemed at the end of them breaking down everything. Like, yes, it took a while to get there, and it probably took months for society to look like that again. But it almost seemed like it had only been a week at most. It's about the only thing I don't like about the Nimona movie, and it's simply because of my personal experiences with being forced to believe something that wasn't true. It can take years just to be able to change that mindset, and everyone in this civilization had the mindset of Gloreth is perfect and unwavering and slays the monster! And it just felt rushed to me. Again this is more of an opinion than a fact, but it is based off of my experiences with that.

Now for the darkest part imo, the part where Nimona actively tries to kill herself. After years of being alone, hurt, isolated, and treated like trash. She finally thinks that everyone else is right, that maybe she should just die, it would be easier on everyone without her. And you can't help but want to tell her that she's not a monster, that she's cared for. But she had just been discarded by someone who she thought she could trust, something she doesn't give out easily after what happened with Gloreth. And it took Ballister a while to be able to save her, in fact, based off of where he was and how fast she was moving, plus his injuries, logically, he couldn't have been able to stop her. But, speaking from experience, sometimes what keeps you alive, what keeps you from killing yourself, doesn't make logical sense, doesn't fit what you had thought everything to be or where you thought that person was. And that is why I'm so glad they did it that way. They didn't have a heart to heart, it was literally him holding her back from running her heart through a sword. I don't really have much to say here, without going into some personal stories, that I'd really rather not go into right now, but yeah.

Is there something that I'm not seeing and/or overlooking, probably. And I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this movie!

[ntrider]

I've told this story before but

when I was 13-14 I decided that I was going to play Tomodachi Collection (Tomodachi Life's NDS predecessor that was only fantranslated to English) with people from my school. So for a week I just took my DS there and asked everyone to make Miis of themselves and I'd update them on how it went. No one was really interested but they still went with it.

Still, I played it for quite a while. Even during vacation that year to the next I was still playing. If you don't know, the Tomodachi duology are games where you make Miis live in an island together and you just do stuff for them. Give them clothes, feed them, sometimes they'll ask for help with something or play something together or talk to each other etc. It's a small-scale social simulator.

I had a classmate that was in my school for a year and then left. She was nice. We didn't talk that much because I'm a bit closed off in groups but I thought she was nice to talk to. If you know me you know this is basically me saying I was in love with her but oh well.

Without my input, our Miis started dating. Hooray! This supports some kind of hope of mine that I will magically date her someday even though I have no clue if I'll ever even see her again because she doesn't have social media or a phone number or literally any contact info at all. But still, nice! Her Mii was pretty so I'd pat her on the head a lot.

The island had too few female Miis, so I decided to do something I always thought about in any situation and nobody knew why. What if I was a girl someday? Either through some magical temporary transformation like some anime I watched, or through some kind of multiverse meetup thing where I meet a cooler version of me that happens to be a hot girl also. Anyway. The Mii was just my Mii with longer hair (I did not have my classic Huge Hair at the time) and a different smile, I think.

So for some reason, my Mii and his girlfriend have been fighting a lot over nothing, and helping them make up is difficult. At one point, my Mii just asks me to break up and, though I regret it immediately, I said yes because the fighting was tiring even for me, the omnscient being that controlled the island.

Both Miis were now really sad, but sometime after a classmate of mine, specifically a guy who is so Different around girls that everyone who knew him swears he had a crush on every woman who's ever directed a word to him, started dating my ex Mii girlfriend. That honestly felt a little insulting to 14 year old Mii. No, that still feels insulting now.

Then sometime after, my Mii and my girl Mii were becoming really close. Then they confessed to each other! What!!! Well, who was I to stop them? Now I was dating myself. Was this because I was so lonely and heartbroken over my difficult relationship before that I felt I was only truly understood by myself? I don't know. Maybe I was just really hot.

Point is, my Mii ex and classmate got married, and then my two Miis got married too. Now it was more of a concrete thing. You even get the credits when someone gets married! It was weird.

But yeah, after I stopped playing, I did meet that girl again, and we talked a lot, and then we were dating flirting kind of thing, and then turns out she was dating a guy already and just didn't tell me so we were both betrayed, and then they kept dating for a while until he broke up with her because he didn't think she was invested in their relationship at all which to be fair I also got that impression, then we just kept being friends and she asked me to date her, and I said yes because well of course I said yes do I look like I'd say no?

Can you guess why we broke up? I wanted to stop because we fought too much. So I did. Now she's been dating this one guy for like years and seems like they work way better than we did. So...

I guess I just have to wait until I meet another me now?

[solarpire]

“Point of view of an exotic pet” really hit home. Thank you for making it. It’s both wonderful taken on it’s more literal merit (don’t fucking make wild animals your pets) but also as like. A more personal thing, as a neurodivergent trans person. I hope you have a nice day. Thank you for making, and sharing, such a meaningful thing.

I'm so glad it means so much to you, and so many people, thank you. I've said it before but I'll say it again, I made that comic on a whim after getting some feelings on my personal life typed down, and I really didnt expect it to be seen by more than like.. 20 people? and barely even convinced myself to finish drawing it. about a month and 11k notes later I'm more and more happy every day that I did (although it was still pretty jarring lol)

I look through all the tags and comments everyone leaves, and its honestly really touching. people have found so many meanings to it outside of what I made it for and I'm so glad that I can make so many people feel seen, feel not so alone with their experiences. its encouraged me to be a bit less shy with my art, and to feel more connected with the people I've never met

I'm so happy it was so meaningful for you, and anyone else it touched. as a fellow trans person, nd person, and general being on the same planet. I love you all, and I hope you can find your life full of love and people who give you the right space for it

[420pogpills]

Hi! Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to get into it but I was wondering..

As a person who, back in October, wanted to leave the fandom initially and then changed their mind, how do you feel about the situation now you've had a few months to think about it?

I think there was a huge pressure on people to make a decision immediately and stick with it. You're one of the very few people (I've seen) who decided to leave and then came back on the same account, actually speaking about why they changed their mind.

Leaving out any speculation about the potential court case, strictly speaking about what was confirmed, were you able to distance yourself from the fandom a bit more and if so, did that change your perception of the situation and the betrayal you felt?

Have a good day!

(I hope I managed to get across that I'm asking with genuine curiosity, not to shame you for any feelings decisions)

hellooooo - yeah sure thing i really don't mind sharing my thoughts ���� i'll put it under the cut so people can ignore it if they don't wanna get into this. apologies in advance it turned into a massive essay haha ~

100% taking time away to really think over everything contributed maaaassively towards how i feel currently. i agree i think initially a lot of people felt like they had to make a permanent choice, and maybe some people have changed their mind since but haven't felt confident enough to return or vice versa...

when a situation is really emotional and stressful like it was back then, a lot of thoughts and decisions are made purely in the present without much thought for the future. that's just human nature - especially if you're of the nd variety and struggle with things like decision making, emotional regulation, etc. that's why i always try really hard to choose my words carefully when expressing myself but my emotional regulation is fucking awful so i 100% have a tendency to have initial reactions that i'm not proud of, say things i don't mean, etc

me personally, i've gotten to a point in my life where i feel absolutely no shame or embarrassment in turning around and saying 'i know i said this a while ago but over time i came to change my mind so either i take it back or i'm changing my viewpoint'.

i believe i mentioned back then when everything went down that a lot of my disappointment and betrayal had a lot to do with myself. because i was one of the people that initially blindly defended dream - i had full confidence he wouldn't engage in private conversations with fans, especially using his main accounts, because dream is a smart guy so surely he wouldn't do something so stupid? (at the end of the day he's a young white male who rose to fame with unimaginable speed...) so when shit hit the fan and he came forward to say that he did have private conversations with fans, i was less disappointed in him and way more disappointed in myself.

that's a big part of why i think i was able to come back, because i left not just because i didn't think i could support dream again, but because i knew i needed to re-evaluate myself and my attachment to these creators, and bring myself back down to earth like 'hey! i know you love these guys but don't forget you don't actually know them! don't ever place love above morals! your morality should not be conditional based on who is involved in a situation!'

that's basically what i spent my time focusing on - i actually ended up detaching myself from the other fandom i was in at the time too, because i wanted to change really badly. i turned off all notifications, i stopped checking things religiously, i stopped watching streams and videos, etc. i spent a whole month just living my life, and working on my priorities, and i think it was exactly what i needed. because yes i came back, but i'm here with a much much healthier perspective than before.

so i came back to support them, but i'm basically doing so in a way that does not cost me anything financially nor mentally. i still do not have any of their twitter notifications on, i don't have their youtube or tiktok notifications on, i also use twitch prime to sub to george and no longer sub with actual money, i don't buy any merch, i don't stay up for streams if i know i've got somewhere to be the next day and i need sleep. i basically am in a place now where they are no longer the priority that they used to be. they are just these little dudes that i enjoy watching when i'm online and there happens to be content 😊

in regards to the situation itself - i will be honest, i haven't kept up massively. it may be ignorant of me, but as far as i'm aware there's really not much information available out there as is, so i'm going to believe they are - as they rightfully should - taking care of it all behind the scenes. i suppose i still don't fully know what to believe, but i've gotten past it now. there's still a part of me that feels disappointment towards dream, and i think that's okay - it serves as a reminder that i can't forget my priorities in life. i still am fond of him, i suppose not nearly as much as before because i don't see him in the same way anymore - but enough that i am able to enjoy his content again and continue being in this community.

this community has been like a lifeline for me for a very, very long time. and i think i would have come back even if i felt nothing for dream anymore, because at the end of the day, this community is us, made by us, kept active by us, and i can enjoy plenty of things with you guys without relying on dream to be my reason to stay 😁

i am sO SORRY for the length of this answer HAHAHA but thank you for your question and i hope all of my ramblings made some sense ❤️

[the-firebird69]

There's a couple things that are happening here These people are poor, have always been poor. and they're blaming our son for making things that are kept in him around during tough times when they max were coming down on them. And we're tired of hearing it. We're tired of hearing them say it. And it's because they're trying to fool us into. thinking that they were doing it before and it's evil as hell and they suck at it and they won't stop doing it And you tell them they're found out and they won't stop doing it And it's annoying as hell. It is very, very insolent. OK, you have to experience it. You really do.. I've been doing this for thousands of years, and I can't. stand looking at any of these freaking jerks. for any reason. I don't know what to tell you. It is just vastly more annoying than you would think.. We have some outcomes of our sons 4. sons, foray. And we're going to post.

---bja ran in with an illegally long knife on and our sn said it big knife and von hgen nd is annoyd tons said f him too the shit. and he was up. opened up on people yelled at them. scoffed said means stuff. ran back to his car to intercept our son. tons say it hit hte fucker nd they stopped him. blocked hm. he wont toop. and thusly hit him nd theethee. And yeah, they were hitting the three BJA Trump and Dave. it went on for about 20 minutes. Started up again. They saw each other in the shopping center, and they do it everyday. And people hate them. They started hitting each other. And I'll tell you what, this show is crap, and these people are crap. They've had their time, and they. became vulgar, rude and disgusting, and you. And now they're out. And we're gonna make sure it's not a useless one amongst them.

--- We're going to go after the idiots who keep showing up. We have to stop them. It's greatly annoying. And we need you to see what the. really doing and seeing here. And it's a lot of threats on our son. Today is stood up for himself and he told off Trump and said you're a sleaze You're losing and you're gonna lose everything. And then he told off BJ, and I actually had him do that. And it was good. He says what's going on? And I said it without saying it, and it was nice.. They thought about it and said we're just gonna kill each other and we're a joke. And so they tried to make up for it by hitting the populace. So we go after them. And we know. them. And we're doing that right now.

--- Couple more things John Renaillard needs to leave. He was. violently ill and fisherman's village. And he kept showing up. and he couldn't do it. And he couldn't do the job. He's just barely could walk by as a sleazeball Seeing he's countering Brian and he got grabbed. in a bunch of them are sick

--- Along with this jacket. and his band. there are other versions of him that are swinging around being huge jerks all day long They're being annihilated. and people are getting rid of them for real and they won't acknowledge it and they just continue to do it. Now we need them out of here before any change will take place. I've been trying to say that and he has too. And they're just **** **** And we need to pull them out. There's a bunch of groups holding them here and they're doing it because they're still around. and we're handling their business and taking a lot of territory and stuff. And they're having us because they're supposedly exposing us by doing it. And that's their motif and modus operandi.

--- There's also this question of what to really up to. And this will show it. So we're gonna print.

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera and a litnus and shows it lke a negtive

and jc mary did use that ad on th erth the shit

[catscidr]

// 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 //

hiii ty for taking the time to read my requesting guidelines! i've said it before but i'll say it again; i am not solely a nsfw blog, but i can and will block ageless blogs/minors if you interact with my nsfw work. additionally, sometimes i do post (kinda) dark content, so if that bothers you, please block the tags (e.g.: #cw dubcon) or just block me. /i'm not a dark content blog though—i just dabble in mildly weird shit sometimes/ (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

↳ fandoms — genshin impact, honkai star rail, jujutsu kaisen

↳ characters — essentially any adult man in the fandoms i write for (but i do have a soft spot for dottore, jing yuan, gojo, geto, sukuna and toji ♡ )

↳ good stuff — the usual tame content like fluff, crack, smut and angst. weirder topics such as hybrids, gore, dubcon, yandere, mindfuckery (etc.) are cool w me too

↳ bad stuff — incest, pseudo incest, ageplay, daddy kinks, large age gaps, noncon, pregnancy, bodily fluids other than blood, nut, tears and spit (iykwim), cheating/ntr, yada yada i can't write everything—but if you're not sure, just ask!

↳ FYI — be aware that, even if my inbox is open, sending an ask does not guarantee that i'll write your request. i have a big fat terminal creative block, so even if u send in something cool nd interesting nd epic i might still end up letting it collect dust in my inbox. i'm a slow writer i'm sorry bare with me!!!!

↳ about reposts — please always ask beforehand. as a general rule, i'm okay with reposts as long as there's clear credit and a link back to my blog in your post. however, please do not repost my work to tiktok (people's opinions there scare me...). do not create ai bots based off of my work —and do not continue my work (such as a part 2 to a fic i wrote). inspiration is completely fine, but if you're not sure—ask!

[theanomily]

2, 3, 4, and 10 for the asks?

2- Character you dislike:

I don't dislike any specific characters that I can think of (barring for moral reasons, but those are being thrown so far out the window right now). But I might actually say Otto for this. Again, I don't dislike him- in fact, I used to love him- but one day I just... stopped caring, specifically for his narration.

It makes no sense because I love the "dickhead nerd" archetype to the present day. If you were to write down his character and its arc, I'd still be all for it. I love him in fanfics. Even though Otto isn't canonically nd, he was one of the first- if not the first- characters my autistic ass could actually relate to. But it is what it is, I guess.

Also, Esteban.

3- Favourite ship:

Probably Wing/Shelby. They are peak black cat vs. golden retriever. They bounce off of each other incredibly well.

I haven't indulged in it enough to consider it my favourite, but Nero/Anastasia is also up there for me. And Lucy/Laura because who cares about a love triangle when you could just have lesbians?

4- Ship you dislike:

Ignoring Naven, because that would be a cop-out answer, probably Laura/Otto.

It's alright from Otto's side because he's our main protagonist. The story is, quite literally, built around him. You could list off more than a substantial amount about his character before resorting to a "he likes Laura."

Although Laura narrates, she doesn't impact the plot too much until Aftershock. Events happen to her because of Otto, or Wing, or because the Furans and Nero had a messy divorce. She also narrates far less than Otto. Thus, you note that she likes Otto much earlier on when thinking about her. I personally don't like that, and the stark difference between how quickly their relationship comes to mind when thinking about one character in isolation makes it worse.

When it comes to Wing/Shelby, neither really narrate and both are at the core of the plot mostly due to their associates. Wing gets the added benefit of being the main protagonist's "sidekick" while Shelby is, quite frankly, iconic enough that her relationship with Wing is pushed down the ladder of relevance when you think about her.

10- Character you hate the canon version of, but love the fanon versions:

I mean, technically, Otto would fall here because of my reasoning for number 2. But I believe I have a better answer, even though I, again, don't hate the canon portrayal.

Diabolus. In fanfictions, he's portrayed far more chaotically, and his failures as a father have been fleshed out within fanfiction. In the books, he's quite tame. He's willing to ditch friends for safety. And his downfalls for Nigel are completely overlooked. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the "you didn't have to live with him" line from Nigel in book 1 should not be ignored. Yes, we see later on that they do love each other, but clearly, some damage had been done, and there has been no effort to even acknowledge that in canon. All in all, the book Diabolus feels disappointing when you're used to fanfic Diabolus.

[honeymaki]

I'm too shy to tell you this in a non-anonymous way, that's why I'll do it like that, I'm sorry

Kitty, I want to tell you that your writings about the aot girls are amazing, that many of them are my favorites, and your way of writing the girls is phenomenal, I love how you really write them. Then your way of doing this writing is unique to me, I would explain it but I would probably explain it very badly, but it's beautiful, ok? It's beautiful everything, I've never read anything like this before, that's why you are part of one of my favorite writers

I would tell you that the vast majority of my favourites are Pieck and Mikasa, you have no idea how many times I have read them that I even saved them on my list of favourites, both fluff and smut, I have read them many times. That is why I would like to confess to you that also what I have always looked for in a writing I found in the ones you made of Pieck, is that they are so perfect and just what I always wanted to read that they excite me too much, and as I already mentioned before I love how you write them that is why I enjoy it much more!

I have visited your profile more than 30 times to be able to read those writings, and I will continue to do so because although I have already read them more than 10 times they continue to cause me the same emotion as the first time and I continue to enjoy them a lot. That is why I want to tell you that I hope that later you will write again about the aot girls, when you have motivation or desire to write about them, I will wait patiently there is no hurry, but if you also make the decision of no longer wanting to write about them I will accept it and anyway I will continue reading your content, that is why I also decided to tell you all this because I could not save it to me anymore, I needed to tell you how well I spend reading your writings and how I love them too much that for me they are perfect

Well, this would be all, so I wish you a wonderful pleasant week with good vibes, I also hope that wonderful things happen to you and that I wish you the best, Kitty, you are really loved )^o^( 🫶✨

I think this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me (ﾉ_-｡) thank you. I’m happy that you like my aot stuff !!!! But I am sorry I haven’t written much lately and I’m not sure if I’m going to write anything soon…but when I do, it may well be aot because they’re my girlies my firsts my faves and I always have inspo for them !!! I’m not very good at knowing what to say or do when someone compliments me but just know I appreciate you so so much nd it was a real cheer up to read and see how much you enjoy my work so thank you a million times over (*･ ･*)