#I've read so many sad jon fics

[thearchivtheantichrist]

I just started crying over tim stoker again haha what else is new

[notachamealeon]

The Magnus Archives is taking an absolutely normal amount of space in my brain.

So lemme info dump on the AU that's been cooking in my brain where Jon receives all the knowledge of TMA and only TMA after reading the Angler Fish statement (episode 1).

I am in the second half of season 4 rn so I don't know how much it would mess up season 1 Jon, but what I've seen so far would scar him pretty bad. I don't want to be boring though, so just like drinking the entire bar in 3 seconds he won't have clear memories of most of anything. He'd definitely do things he regretted not doing, like making his post statement thoughts a open discussion with Martin, Tim and Sasha to spend more time with them.

He'd have so much guilt and trauma that isn't truly his cause it hasn't happened yet so you'd get to see him squirm, weep and berate himself. That survivors guilt would go into overdrive in order to save as many people as he could though, at least the ones he cares about. Ya'know, give himself more anchors so he doesn't become a monster like last time. Perhaps become a monster in a whole new way?

I've only thought about the start of Season 2 where instead of the paranoia and Not!Sasha plotlines, Jon encourages his friends (cause they'd be friends now cause I want them to be happy so bad!) to attach themselves to powers that could help defend themselves and didn't have any upcoming rituals. So Tim could become a hunter, I think Martin being part of the Web is a given and popularly agreed on and Sasha could go with the Spiral which I think could be really interesting but I'm sure that idea is already somewhere and i need to know its location.

There HAS to be a fic like this somewhere. I wish to know of it. To consume it. It must exist and if it doesn't, it's a tma spiral reference and I'll read what isn't there. (but please let be real, i know this is a some what popular fic plotline but would someone let this sad man know about the horrors? I know most of us want to hurt him for various reason so please tell me someone one man baby girl aware of the horrors before he was meant to and made him suffer for it)

Plus: I want Spiral Sasha so badly. And Jon can give other people knowledge of their own future under specific circumstances that he has to figure out.

[stackthedeck]

20 questions for fic writers Thank you @babblingflowers for the tag!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

45 minus the podfic which i don't count but maybe I should

what's your total ao3 word count?

308,676

3.What fandoms do you write for?

writing now mostly marvel comics specifically fantastic four and spider-man but before that it was that weird soup of marvel where it's both the comics movies and shows blended into a beautiful mess

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Getting together for the kids, space boys, one little slip, what's mine is ours, let's see how far you've come

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to be really good about it, but in the same way I get overwhelmed by responding to online messages comments have been a lot but I still love them so much! I always respond if it's a recent fic and I swear I will reply to the 60 in my inbox soon

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

either "put me together and take me apart" because it ends with Matt and Peter breaking up because they're still grieving their exes but it feels so much less sad because they get back together in the sequel.. Or "ignorance is bliss" because Jon (tma) forgets Martin exists

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

One little slip, Johnny and Peter get together and go to a premier as the human torch and spider-man

Do you get hate on fics?

Not on any that are currently up...

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, it's been very gender queer lately idk what that means but smut has just become a vessel to display the beauty of queer bodies recently

Do you write crossovers?

not anymore, but my second most popular fic is one so...

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah I had a good omens fic translated into russian it was good old fashion lover boy

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but I'm trying to cyberbully one of my friends into co-writing one with me (Ash if you're seeing this, we've gotta do it)

What's your all-time favorite ship?

All time is hard it's gotta be Percabeth but like currently it's parksborn

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I will finish them it'll happen I swear to god it will, don't look at the parksborn divorce fic I promise it'll update one day

What are your writing strengths?

I think what I have up currently on ao3 has really good dialogue but in my current wips I'm really vibing with like I guess internal thoughts, they feel in character but not it's not so much information that it feels like telling instead of showing

What are your writing weaknesses?

schedules, discipline, finishing anything, my pacing is a little weird at times and I'm always worried about "he would not fucking say that"

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't because I don't know any languages other than English, I'd reach out to someone that actually spoke the language but the reader would probably just google translate it and that'd take them out of the story and the translation wouldn't be good but I guess I could do a footnote. Idk I haven't found a story that has use for it yet

First fandom you wrote for?

Why couldn't it have been the first fandom I read for? ...it was Hamilton, I'm not happy about it either

Favorite fic you've written?

either the parksborn divorce fic because of an unpublished scene or it's you, it's always been you because of the spideypool fight. I think I just love reading couples fighting where they go for the throat (metaphorically if not also physically)

guess I've gotta tag people @evilwickedme @waterme-stories @seek--rest and all the other lovely writer mutuals who I'm forgetting

[hey-sherry]

I am still in a quandary. I'd happily read more fanfic with Sherlock and Jon but I don't really enjoy Jon is Real and I really do not like shipping Sherlock with Vogel. (To each their own, however! Ship as you will!) Unfortunately most of the fics I've found are one or the other, or even both, of those! 🤣 I am cursed with pickiness in a small fandom.😔 If you know of any fanfics that don't have Jon is Real, or at least keeps his status ambiguous, and definitely does not have any Sherlock/Vogel that might be hiding out there can you please share? 🙏

In the meantime I shall have to make do with your lovely screenshots and gifs of Sherlock and Jon and replaying the game.

Ah, yes, the joys of being in a small fandom. :D

We all have our preferences, that's totally fine! I also prefer the canon-compliant version of Jon, but yeah there aren't many fics like that.

(Also, I'm happy that you enjoy the screenshots and gifs! They're a lot of fun to make and share with you all. ♥)

Time to go down the AO3 memory lane and find some fics for you! Going backwards from the earliest ones (format: rating/word count/my comment):

Imaginary friend by traitorleech | G | 562 words, | a scene on the boat before the game starts

Bring me a dream by traitorleech | G | 1k words, a scene at the Manor

It’s okay, I’ll be right here. by Aurealis15 | G | 912 words | this one's nice but sad

Treasure Hunt by lionofwrath | T | 730 words | they go treasure hunting indeed!

A dream of a friend by AnnaTheHank | G | 1.2k words | a sweet dream after the final goodbye

Childhood Sleep by Arty_Girl | T | 886 words | relaxing and reminiscing about the good ole times, just before the Gilded Cage

Melody by InArduisFidelis | G | 246 words | scene at Mr. Jones' home

Threadbare by ShadowstarKanada | G | 1.4k words | post-Cordona holiday story, Jon returns as a ghost of the past

String Theory by aThousand_ghostlyRavens | T | 3k words | Jon teaches Sherlock to play the violin

Shelter in the Storm by storiesbytoria | T | 3.3k words | teeechnically Jon's more real, but imo it can be read as not-real and it's just a super cute and cozy story so I'm leaving it!

And a list that doesn't quiiite fit the requirements, but I figured I'd list them anyway - I'll explain for each:

The Tears You Haven't Seen by Lucere_Aeresta | E | 87k words | post-Cordona, Jon does return and accompanies Sherlock through the canon timeline up to a point. Johnlock endgame, though.

Just A Touch Of Your Love by xLoveMx | E | 2k words | Jon's not real but he feels more real through ~magic so ymmv. pwp.

And all he lov’d—he lov’d alone— by showingpitytowardsyourownkind | M | 4k words | crossover with Nancy Drew and Detroit: Become Human, with more imaginary friends

I (Would) Choose Us by TurnipKeep | E | 11k words | teeechnically Jon's not real! pwp. very pwp.

[cellsshapedlikestars]

I just randomly thought about your Switched At Birth one shot again and can I just say, I think it’s so remarkable that you have written so many one shots that are so interesting that I find myself every once in a while thinking of them and trying to fill in the gaps in my head? This one in particular because there’s so many tropes it could fulfil while also being totally unique that I’m genuinely obsessed.

I used to only read book!canon fics but you have converted me into a modern setting AU stan. Can I also just say that I’m so grateful for you choosing to write your modern AUs based on the books and not the show (aka calling Asha by her actual name and not Yara? I swear a fic could be so well written it’d deserve a Pulitzer but if I read the names Yara or Talisa a part of me immediately gets turned off and I have to force myself to continue reading… same with mentions of past Sansa x R*ms*y).

Idk I just wanted to show you some love. I’ve had a really terrible year so far but going back into the fandom (after The Dreadful announcement lmao) and discovering your account (alongside a handful of other fantastic writers) has been a bright spot.

Allllsooooo I recently dreamed that the GOT cast was on Love Island (Luv Oisland)… I blame the Bachelor story for that idk. I don’t even like reality tv!

Anon, this is so sweet!!

I think that was one of the first prompt fics I ever wrote! Some of my favorite fics come from prompts, so shoutout to the people who send me them (even if I haven't written one in a while...)

I'm so, so sorry you've had a bad year, and I hope it gets better! It was so nice to see people pop back up after the Dreadful announcement! And there are some really really excellent writers in the fandom, even if it's not as active as it was during the show's heyday.

Also I love the idea that you're dreaming about reality TV because of my fic that is HILARIOUS.

As for the books vs show... I'm gonna put that under the cut cause I feel like my opinions on the show & show-based fic might offend some people lol.

I don't write show canon for a reason haha.

I don't like most of the later show characterizations - sad sack Jon in particular, but I've also expressed on here before that I'm not the biggest fan of bondage dress bitchy side-eye Sansa who tells the Hound that no, it was a good thing she was raped and abused, actually, because now she's a strong woman :) She wasn't before, before she was weak and silly and it took being sexually assaulted to be Better. Girl power! Ugh. They completely abandoned the parts of her character I love (her softness, her dreaminess, and especially her political astuteness when dealing with a mad ruler. Like, jesus, the way she was SO BAD at dealing with Dany still infuriates me). Despite all that, she's still one of my favorites on the show... not that that's saying a lot lol all the characters sucked by the end.

And I especially don't like a lot of the show-only decisions. Sansa being given to Ramsay, Arya becoming a literal psychopath mass murderer, the horrible way they did Dany's villain turn, Jon being exiled even though the people demanding it LEAVE THE COUNTRY AND THE KING IS HIS BROTHER-COUSIN. Even stuff as seemingly small as Talisa (the entire plot revolving around her and how it changes Robb's story, not necessarily the character herself).

Don't get me wrong, the show has some great moments, and I will forever be grateful for the Jonsa stuff in s6, because I don't know if I'd be a shipper without it (I didn't ship them when I was just reading the books because I didn't really think about it), but to me, the show is a wash and I cannot reconcile the decisions made. No fix-it will ever fix it for me, and I genuinely dislike anything that involves prior Sansa/Ramsay.

well, this went longer than I thought. I could literally rant about how bad the end of the show was forever

[fromtheseventhhell]

You know something that is sad? Arya always gets written wrong in fanfics. Most (and I mean like more than 90%) of them write her as a stereotypical tomboy who hates being called a Lady and loves sword fighting and this and that. Even the Jonerys fics I read, and they do a good job of writing Jon and Dany right, do that. I mean they make sure (unless they’re hating Arya because of her godawful S8 portrayal) that Arya sides with Jon like she always would and that she forms a close friendship with Dany but they still have her talk like “I am not a lady” or “I am not like most girls” or “I’ll kill you if you do this or that”. Arya is one of the most mischaracterized characters I’ve ever seen. Many many people have this view of her being a total tomboy and it’s wrong. Arya is simply a girl who doesn’t conform to what the sexist Westerosi society expects of her. She loves making friends with the common people (which conforming Sansa is disgusted by) and she believes that the woman is important too (gosh… I can’t believe Dumb&Dumber had her say most girls are idiots). A combination of the show and people having a narrow minded view has resulted in few fics where Arya is written as a sweet and compassionate girl who takes care of others like a mother or big sister would and who loves pretty things like flowers and more where she is just a badass op ninja who is super tomboyish

I've noticed that in fics as well. People love characterizing her as someone who hates being a lady, but they never actually explore her feelings or why she thinks that way. I think this is also because Sansa often gets rewritten in these fics and doesn't get portrayed as a bully, so Arya being mocked for not being good at traditionally feminine tasks doesn't exist. I've also noticed that they completely rewrite her being an outcast and she's allowed to be more free, which is also a factor in her behavior. They use the most shallow interpretation of her character and it's so annoying that people refuse to allow her to be complex. She doesn't hate being a Lady, she's insecure about how she's perceived and she has a strained relationship with her two biggest examples of what being a Lady is. She's also nine, and these fics usually age everyone up, so it's especially weird that she's characterized as such. I think people just use the (unfortunately popular) fanon characterization for her when writing these fics.

[fridayyy-13th]

20 questions for fic writers

tysm @three-magpies-in-a-trenchcoat for the tag!!

How many works do you have on Ao3? 4

What's your total Ao3 word count? 13,296

What fandoms do you write for? i used to write for the Hermitcraft fandom, but i've discontinued the one fic i started for it and moved on to The Magnus Archives. i've got a couple story ideas for other fandoms, but idk if they'll go anywhere.

What are your top five fics by kudos? well, i've only got four! but from most- to least-kudosed, there's: - Double Trouble (Hermitcraft, rated G, incomplete multichapter) - Know What Can't Be Shown, Feel What Can't Be Known (TMA, rated T, oneshot) - Time Enough to Spend Some Time Alone (TMA, rated T, oneshot) - Here, Nowhere, Somewhere With You (TMA, rated G, oneshot) and i'm totally not salty my two most kudosed fics are an incomplete work and something i posted at 3am, respectively.

Do you respond to comments? hell yeah! i love answering comments <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? gotta say Time Enough, bc it's more refined than its predecessor, Know What Can't Be Shown (man i really need to stop giving my fics such long titles, i always end up shortening them when referring to them). but for reference, both are pre-Unknowing jmart kiss fics; it's a favored headcanon of mine. Time Enough also spends more time musing on how Jon and Martin are feeling—that is, they feel Bad. Absolutely Terrible. sad and scared, both for the Unknowing and for each other.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Here, Nowhere, Somewhere, absolutely. the ending itself is pretty open, but Jon and Martin have reunited post-MAG 200, admitted they still love each other after its events, and found themselves Somewhere Else. it's the most hopeful.

Do you get hate on fics? not yet, thankfully. i'm not a well-known enough author for that lol.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i do not! and i doubt i ever will. props to everyone who does, though.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? i don't really write crossovers, at least none i ever planned to publish, but i do have a couple fusion AUs in the works (that is, taking one story's premise and combining it w/the characters of another). and funnily enough, both are based on songs.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? i sure hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated? no. though if someone offered to, i'd be honored!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? technically? a friend of mine and i made a couple AUs for a few different MCYT fandoms that never really went anywhere, but i've never co-authored something that's made it to publishing.

What's your all time favorite ship? probably jonmartin. i've read a ridiculous amount of fanfic for them, and i think pretty much all my WIPs feature it if both Jon and Martin are there (sometimes i'll make them queerplatonic, and sometimes they'll be part of a poly ship like jongerrymartin, but jmart tends to be pretty Do Not Separate in my mind lmao).

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ages ago i was reading this one rom-com webcomic where two people wound up as roommates bc the landlord accidentally rented the single apartment to both of them, which i thought was a really cute premise, but then BAM there was some really awful transphobia in it. when called out in the comments, the author doubled down, so i snatched up the concept and decided "i'm gonna make this t4t out of SPITE." but uh i've found spite doesn't work very well as a fuel source for my work, and i can get the same awkward domesticity/mutual pining out of a safehouse fic, so it'll probably just stay buried in the WIPs folder.

What are your writing strengths? dialogue. or at least, making a character's dialogue sound like their voice. vocabulary, things like stammering or using filler words, cutting oneself off or pausing a bunch, that sort of thing. though sometimes the dialogue itself feels a little clunky. i also think i'm rather good at writing emotional scenes, especially once i'm in the editing stage of things.

What are your writing weaknesses? over-editing. my utter beloathed. i sometimes get really caught up in trying to make everything as clear as possible, when that just makes the work 5,000 words too long and takes way more time to do. i'm trying to be better about it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i think it's neat! but if you're monolingual you should read up on writing bilingual/multilingual characters beforehand, don't just wing it.

First fandom you wrote for? probably Pokémon? i'm not entirely sure.

Favorite fic you've written? Time Enough, hands-down. (though uh, hypothetically, if i wanted to make some small edits to it, would it be weird to do so? especially seven months after posting? there's a handful of lines i wish i'd phrased a bit differently.)

tags (no pressure!!): @radical-dadical-rafael @dramaticdads @winterswrandomness @ollieofthebeholder @ladydragonkiller @incandescentis @cornmazehater @jewishjon

[sandrune-art]

OH BOY DO I HAVE FICS TO RECOMMEND!

"For he will not do destruction, if he is well fed" by greevianguy (greeviangirl). Basically in late season 4, Jon finds a cat at the institute and projects on it for 15127 words. It's really good and it made me cry.

"a deeply annoying child" by ajkal2. In season 3, Jon reads a Leitner that brings him back to himself immediately following his first supernatural encounter. It has kid!Jon, and Tim and Jon sort of not hating each other for a bit, and is an all round fantastic (and heartbreaking) read.

"Hands that Grasp (Arms that Hold)" by ComposerEgg. It's a second kidnapping fic, with bonus Scottish Safehouse!

"Contemplations: Regarding Love" by IceEckos12. It's actually a happy one! The Eyepocolypse doesn't happen and Jon and Martin get their happy ending. It's just really sweet and there's a slow dancing scene and it's just like hnrg /pos.

"hell is for children" by sunkelles. It's about the other domains where children were in the Eyepocolypse. My favourites are "a lotta true crime" and "a good kid who's had a bad run".

"where there's a will, we make it a way" by bubonickitten. It's a time travel fix it fic! It diverges from canon some time before MAG 187, and after the world's started to end end, people are dying at alarming rates, Jon goes back in time. He unfortunately only goes back in time to season 4. The characterization in this is amazing :3

"In this harsh world" by CirrusGrey. Or like. Pretty much anything by Citrus. This is post-181 so you can imagine the emotional toll, but they write happy things too and I just recommend you read all of their season 5 codas.

"ten thousand flowers in spring" by bluejayblueskies. It's an AU with gods and all that, Jon's grandmother dies and he takes a sabbatical in Scotland, and meets this really nice guy who's also a god, and who he doesn't realize is a god, and he's writing a book about gods, and it's all very funny and also quite heartfelt.

"rewind. play. eject." by boredshyandbi. It's a time loop!! After the events of MAG 200, Jon gets stuck in a time loop of MAG 39. It's really cool and like it's got so many Moments that stick in my brain forever.

"Countdown to Extinction" by starspangledbread. It's an Extinction!Jon fic! It's amazing actually I love it so much. Silly and goofy and then sometimes you're like oh god I'm Feeling Emotions???

"The Spider & The Eye" by pocketsizedquasar. Annabelle and Jon childhood friends AU!! I'm holding it gently.

"Jon and Friends" by mmmmph. There's Jon and Daisy! Jon and Gerry playing truth or dare! Jon and Melanie who could have been friends but they aren't and it's just really sad D:. Jon and Basira having a heart to heart! Jon and Tim pre-canon D:! Jon and Georgie and their relationship falling apart and it's like they could have been friends but they're not they're not. Jon and Not!Friends it should be called.

And finally, some shameless self promotion: I've written some meaningless Jmart sad, a cool (in my humble opinion) season 5 statement fic among other things. 42 other things, 40 excluding the art and the podfic.

UH yeah! Enjoy that! If you still wanted fic recs.

Omg, Yes!! Thank you so much for all of them, you're amazing, I'm running to ao3 to check them out

[thelustybraavosimaid]

I legitimately despise Jonsa because the fans of it make Jon so passive that he's essentially Sansa's lapdog, waiting hand and foot on her at all times. They twist Jon into so many things he's not: classist, abusive, cruel. All for the glory of Sansa.

They hate that Jon and Sansa have an ambivalent attitude toward one another. So they say "it's good that Jon and Sansa weren't close, makes it less incesty" while also saying that Jon had a pRe-cAnOn cRuSh because he called her radiant that one (1) time, and shoehorn Sansa in places where Jon literally makes no comparisons between her and someone else. So they're also...hypocrites.

Jonsa fics are draining—in the beginning of my journey navigating asoiaf, I've certainly read a few—but the metas are something else. Like I said before, these "metas" work back from "it's happened" to "here's how George was leading up to this all along" while having idiotic "parallels" like "oh Jon was sad about melting snowflakes, but guess what shows up in Sansa's chapter! *Snow!*" They don't seem to understand that George isn't writing a YA novel and he's surely not writing Disney fanfic, or even that the parallels they're trying to use aren't parallels at all. They search for some words on A Search of Ice and Fire and say "look at how alike they are!"

Moreover, they hate the men that Sansa is canonically paired with in the books. They don't like Tyrion and use disgusting, ableist language against him. They don't think Sandor Clegane is highborn enough for her, he's too old and physically ugly.

All in all...this ship just makes me tired.

[adecila]

I think they are doing this to us on purpose...

I love this fandom, I was sad and depressed because of the 💩 ending but after reading all of this amazing jonerys fics I felt happy and no matter what I still found comfort on this.

Please I now it's a lot to ask but don't go don't let them took away this bubble of happiness (you and the others on this fandom created for all of us) from us too.

On purpose? Yes if by that you mean the purpose of doubling down on the season 8 ending and milking whatever they can from the old Game of Thrones fan base. You know, the same ones who are so easily swayed by CGI dragons and will tune in to watch The House Of The Dragon. And the ones who think that the only thing wrong with the ending was that Dany's turn was too quick (but they thought she was mad in the first place, so that's not why they're raging about the ending), the ones who wanted Jon to kill the Night King instead of Arya and the ones who wanted Jon to end up on the Iron Throne.

WE ARE NOT THE SAME WHAT THE FUCK IS NOT CLICKING

Now that I'm heated again and in light of what Emilia said, I'm gonna say this respectfully but you're giving too much credit to HBO AND Kit.

Let me refresh your memory!!!

HBO agreed to the ending we got. Have y'all suddenly forgotten?? The HBO CEO watched the rough cut of the 6 episodes and thought hey these are great

In fact HBO stood by the ending after the petition to redo the season gained worldwide popularity

HBO even thought it appropriate to insult the fans even further and stick by their ending when they gave D and D a cameo in Westworld in which they chop up Drogon

While Kit himself feared that the ending would be divisive, he thought that it was justified:

I'm not saying he wasn't traumatised because it obviously fucked with his head having to kill off his friend on screen (READ THAT AGAIN) I'm just saying y'all are mistaking his grief related to the end of GoT as to the grief for Dany's botched up story.

In fact Kit thought that Jon's ending was "really sweet" 🙃

I cannot overstate how much Kit has in fact stuck by the writing choices

Emilia saying now that this spin off (told y'all the news was real and legit, even if it the spin off might currently be in just the very beginning stages) is certified by Kit doesn't mean shit to us Dany fans!!!

Because tell me what in everything I showed you that Kit said regarding season 8 sounds like a man who would ONLY do a Jon Snow spin off in order to revive Dany and retcon season 8?? It just sounds to me that he loves the character so much he'd probably play it again in most circumstances now that he has had time to deal with his mental health.

Like an asoiaf podcaster said, who if given $10M to play Jon fucking Snow would say no out of principle?

Exactly.

And I'm not "letting them take away anything." Please. I was amongst the last women standing when the last episode aired. I was one of the few still trying to hold everyone's hand through the grief we've had to deal with. I have and still am pouring my heart into so many jonerys fics and I will continue to do so until I can't do it anymore. I've stuck with jonerys through all the shit Kit has said since the ending of GoT, I just tune him out now (after the proper rant ofc) because I really don't trust his judgement on a lot of things 😃

And before you come for me I can still like Kit and drag him for all the shitty things he's done and said. It's called nuance 🤍

Go read an old jonerys fic today and show the author some love. We don't need HBO. We don't need shitty spin offs. We've done well for ourselves for the last 3 years, this isn't going to suddenly make me love jonerys more. Thank god my love for Jon Snow (the legit one, not the s8 one), Daenerys Targaryen and jonerys doesn't depend on what Kit Harington says or does.

[hilarychuff]

In I Carry It In Mine, if Ygritte had not died, would he have picked her over Sansa? Because he chose her when he never chose Sansa. She seems like the first in his heart.

hi! i know you're not the first person to read i carry it in mine and get that impression. if it's too uncomfy for you, it is ok to decide it's not the fic for you!

personally, my short unspoiler-y answer is no. he already didn’t choose ygritte within the scope of the story. he already chose to go back to the watch instead of staying with her, so he definitely wouldn’t pick ygritte over everything. part of why he has a relationship with ygritte in the first place is because he thinks it’s the only one he’ll ever get, so if given other options, she def wouldn’t be the first choice, especially not when compared to his soulmate.

but honestly i am very excited to get my first anon message about one of my fics so if you want to read on and hear my thoughts in some more depth, i am going to take this moment and reflect for a sec on that relationship!

also, i’m not sure how far you read, but this will have spoilers at least through chapter 7 of i carry it in mine! i’ll put it under a cut

for the most part, up until sansa arrives at the wall, jon’s storyline is the same. i think a lot of people expected him to have behaved differently at many points because he already knew sansa was his soulmate, and i can totally see and understand why. they expected a lil more canon divergence early on bc they expected that that major of a change would have more major impacts for jon.

i kind of see it differently in that, to me, it didn't change anything. it's just one more thing that jon secretly really desperately wants and believes he can't have because of his status as a bastard. it's just one more way that life is super unfair for him. and while it raises sansa up on his list of priorities in a way she's not necessarily on his mind in canon, it doesn't actually make having some sort of relationship with her in whatever capacity he wants it any more achievable than it is in canon. that's part of why he doesn't say anything at all after he gets his mark and just waits to see what hers is. and then when hers is someone not him (he thinks), he's worried about what that means for her, but he already believes it doesn't mean anything for him. to him, her getting someone else's name really was kind of like, "lol, you REALLY thought you could have a soulmate???? you really thought someone would call you jon stark and make you an official member of the family??? wow that is so sad lol"

soulmates are rare and special in this world and there is some respect for that but it also doesn’t change the rule of the law or how society functions in westeros. people have to stay within their station. 

and when he goes to talk to ned about sansa’s mark, what jon basically hears is like “yeah shit sucks, world keeps turning, sometimes you don’t get to be with your soulmate but life goes on. you can still make the best of a bad situation though. cat didn’t get to be with brandon but she’s with me now and we have a family we love. that’s a good thing."

i think by the time robert and the court comes north jon has recovered enough from that “bitch you thought” blow and has internalized ned’s message enough to be like "ok best of a bad situation i'll still take what i can get and just be sansa's devoted lil sworn sword and honestly i've decided that is not only good enough for me but now i really want that" and then he's told he can't have that either like he can’t even have THAT and he's like FINE GODS I GUESS I'LL JUST GO TO THE WALL LIKE UNCLE BENJEN for all the same reasons he decides/wants to in canon.

and then later on, when he doesn't ride south to save sansa from the lannisters/join robb's fight/etc it's still for all the same reasons he can't and doesn't in canon. he tries and is stopped. the consequences for deserting the night's watch are still the same. the stakes for all of his family members are still the same. 

some people really didn’t like this bit: 

His father had been his first thought all that time ago when the Wall received word from King’s Landing that the Hand of the King was in chains. Arya, he’d thought next. And then last, bittersweet, Sansa.

some people read it as sansa was his last priority of the three of them, and i totally see why! she is literally listed last! but personally, to me, it is more like something you know you’re not allowed to have so you try not to think about it, but not thinking about it doesn’t make it go away, so it’s still right there, bittersweet, something that you can’t have that you still can’t have. 

and that moment also is given to the reader as part of him in the cave with ygritte. he’s reflecting back on it and we’re skipping a lot of canon ground at that point. we’re skipping right to the part where jon is ready to romanticize what’s going on with ygritte, and i think that’s when the conversation with ned where ned was like "you still can choose to have love/happiness even if you're not with your soulmate" comes directly into play. at the time he was like... kicks rocks i hate this small town... etc emo boy whatever. he already tried to best of a bad situation once and got shut down. but then in that moment he’s like ok i guess THIS is the moment. THIS is the only choice i get. it’s this or nothing, and i’m really tired of having nothing, and i’m really tired of thinking i have nothing and then being told i actually have even less because after accepting that my fate was with the watch i had to turn my back on the watch too, or at least pretend to. so if THIS is the only choice and the only thing i get to have ok yeah i’m making it and i’m going to have this. 

the thing is, even then after that, he does still make the same choices as he does in canon to leave ygritte behind and return to the watch. he kind of thinks “would it have been different if she was my soulmate. would i have been able to do that if she was my soulmate” but ultimately it doesn’t matter because she’s not. (imo tho the answer is yes bc jon has a strong internal sense of duty/honor/etc and also also i think if he really stopped to think about it instead of making the best of a bad situation he would’ve realized the best of a bad situation still sucks. and it was a bad situation.)

and then there is the ramsay stuff and jon not immediately going to rescue sansa, and i really get why that upset people too and i think if someone can’t get past that it makes sense! it is ok to stop reading! 

but again, to me, it’s the same thing as what happened in canon. jon not leaving the wall in canon to go save “arya” doesn’t mean he didn’t love or care for arya. him not doing it now for sansa doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her or care about her or want her to be safe. i think in i carry it in mine vs in canon he does think about it more but realistically he comes to the conclusion that a) if he tries to leave the wall and interfere in the rest of the kingdom, he’ll be going alone. and he as one person alone is not going to be effective. he’d die trying. b) if he tries to do it not alone, well, he dies then too and is executed for desertion. c) if he somehow manages to do it, then what? they have no resources and no one to turn to. no money to hire a boat and leave westeros. no keeps that wouldn’t execute him for being a deserter and return her to ramsay. no way to get over the wall from this side. but melisandre tells him d) if he waits and sends mance rayder, sansa will come to him and he’ll actually still be alive to help her. 

and then alys karstark shows up instead and he thinks it’s all on mance rayder to do what he can now or maybe stannis and then he gets the letter that sansa escaped and he’s like ok fuck it i have to do SOMETHING and i think this letter threatening the night’s watch and me as the lord commander gives me enough plausible deniability, but the reality is that it still doesn’t. and he gets killed. 

and then chapter 7 is where the ygritte stuff and the sansa stuff kind of meets again, because when jon first sees sansa he thinks it’s ygritte. and to me that was because literally getting killed kind of plunged him back into young emo jon for a second. he can never have what he wants. he will fully die if he tries to have what he wants. he will literally get murdered by some people he thought he could trust if he tries to have what he wants. instead he needs to learn to live with not having it. so when sansa actually shows up at the wall he really can’t believe it and part of that is because he won’t let himself believe it because how many times can he want something and be told no???? he gave up. 

but then he actually CAN have it and she’s HERE and she came looking for HIM and part of that is because he DID send mance and the spearwives after her. maybe he’s not as cursed as he thought. it’s a turning point. that’s when things start to change for him both internally and within the story.

i think he tells her about ygritte not to be like “look i had this great love blah blah blah” but because she wants to stay and talk and instead of reflecting on all the shitty things that have happened to them and to their family he is trying to give her something beautiful. proof that there are some good things in the world. so he takes a story that he has already unconsciously really romanticized to himself to make it bearable and he romanticizes it even further to tell it to her. he wants to give her a song. 

and honestly when she asks if ygritte is his soulmate he wants to kind of say the same thing to her that ned said to him. he’s being like “hey, whatever targaryen’s name you have, forget about him. forget it. you get to find and choose good things in life. things haven’t worked out for you so far with your soulmate or like... in general really, but that doesn’t mean they never will. you can still have good things and you can still have love like i know you always wanted and i want you to have everything you want.”

imo he would choose sansa above everything if he thought he was allowed to make that choice.

which is a long long long way to say that i think if you sent jon to therapy and he had a lot of time and space to just unpack things he would realize that his relationship with ygritte has a lot more in common with some of sansa’s relationships than it doesn’t, but he is trying to hold onto something that he managed to see as good in his life and he is trying to share with sansa that things can be good. 

(i think if sansa ever heard exactly how things went down with jon she would be like... jon. ruh roh. that sounds bad!!!!!! that kinda sounds like stockholm syndrome!!!! but the only person who could tell her that story is jon and he does not think of it that way because how much can one guy take, frankly.)

anyway!!!!!!!! you are the reader and you are the one having the reading experience and if the reading experience is not the one you want to be having, it is ok to stop reading! 

but if you just wanted to know how it makes sense in my head and how i think of it so that you can enjoy the story more and maybe get over some of those speed bumps, then i hope this helps ❤️

thank you for sending me an ask!! 

[owlsinathens]

1, 7 and 8 😊!

Oooh thank you for the ask 🥰

1. what's the fic you're most proud of?

That's still Another Christmas Carol (and Dickens can go fuck himself). I'm ridiculously proud of the title, and I do think it's my best work, from translating canon stuff into a modern AU to the adapting of fucking Dickens to characterization etc etc. I will never be humble about that fic 🤣

7. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

Ah, the tricky topic. Feedback. Oh, lovely feedback.

It's important, ngl. I'm of course writing for myself first and foremost, but I'm definitely not posting for myself. Not getting feedback on something I've worked hard on sucks. Plain and simple. Screaming into the void sucks.

On the other hand, I do understand many of the reasons why people don't comment. I'm bad at commenting too, it does cost a lot of energy, especially the kind of comment I myself love to receive the most.

How does it impact me? A single good comment can often take me out of writer's block or a sad mood. A wonderful comment can make me open my docs and write.

On the other hand, receiving no feedback (and with feedback I mean feedback, as in telling me what worked well in the fic, what people think about the story, what surprised them, what did they predict etc etc) can make me doubt myself a lot and kill all drive to write I might have. I'm constantly oscillating between Dunning-Kruger and Imposter syndrome when it comes to my writing 🙈 and the latter is harder to overcome.

Tl;dr: I'm a comment whore pls give me feedback 😭🥰

8. does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

Most of my family know, but they're a) not interested in GoT and b) don't speak English well enough to read my fics. Hubby knows and has read some, but his interest in Theon and Jon hooking up is below zero so he doesn't really read my stuff either. Basically I'm not hiding it, but I'm also not going around advertising it.

What I won't do anymore is send/show my stuff to anyone irl. I've been asked to do so by a few friends (never sent it unsolicited lol) and not one of those people have ever mentioned it again so my guess is they either didn't like it or didn't read it at all and that's kinda awkward. 10/10 won't do again.

[asterdeer]

fanfic writer asks

tagged by @abnerskrill, thank yoooou

How many works do you have on AO3?

26 but 10 of those are short writer's month prompt ficlets, so it's not as many as it sounds, especially if i actually do get to all 31 ficlets. so, like 16 with a ficlet series?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

108,920! i was kind of shocked. that's a not-bad amount of words for someone who is still somewhat uncomfortable being a fanfic writer.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

6-7 - the magnus archives has the most atm; adventures in odyssey; mcu in general and the loki tv show specifically; taz balance; spn; and merlin. no, i'm not a child of 2013 tumblr, what are you talking about. spn and merlin are only short gen character studies, though, nothing intense.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

by FAR the most popular is my first tma fic, will your system be all right, the michael-has-misophonia study. 105 kudos!

Steadfast In the Broken Binding, also a tma fic, jonmichael slowburn set in a tma-ified version of the binding by br*dget c*llins (it also has 18 subscribers!!)

Perhaps I Had a Wicked Childhood, the steveloki time travel-ish fic

Variation On an Enemy, mcu fic with steve and loki but nonshippy/pre-relationship, set in the tva

5th place is tied between the devil gave me a crooked start and I Am Not the Only Traveler, which are both richard maxwell-centric aio fics. i am, as always, in love with my aio fic readers and kissing them on the mouth/wherever they are comfortable with/blowing them air kisses/shaking their hands sincerely. imagine a fandom 0.5% the size of mcu's and still much smaller than tma's but there are so many generous readers that the fics are still some of the most-kudos'd fics i have. j'adore.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

hmmmmm possibly you cannot kill me in a way that matters? that's the taako&merle taz balance fic set on the mushroom planet. one of my favorite kinds of flashback fics, in which POV Character starts out unhappy, takes on step towards healing, then takes a hasty two steps back!

it's possible my Sad Michael-POV TMA Standalone Fics Trilogy (will your system be all right, The Monster In the Impossible Halls, and In the Sweet Spot of the Throat) are the angstiest, but i feel like angst is expected in tma fics so it doesn't count as much. Sweet Spot does end jon and michael dying in each other's arms, though, so ymmv.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I Am Not the Only Traveler! richason makeout session achieved <3

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

crossovers are my favorite thing to write. they generally get me excited to write the most, bc i am still largely uncomfortable writing fanfic, so there's a layer of protection, almost, in putting familiar characters in different-but-still-familiar situations. it frees me up to focus on character and plot rather than endlessly worrying about canon details. i do usually only do the kind of crossover where i use the chars from Property A in the world of Property B, with no actual character crossover. i'm not up to writing richard maxwell and michael shelley interacting......................... yet.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope! almost certainly never will. i've written 2 smutty ficlets for my own original fiction and while it was interesting and i liked how one of them turned out, it also made me sort of uncomfortable, as an ace person and as someone who's never experienced it anyway. i read it for some ships, and unfortunately it's impossible not to learn the language of smut fics even without reading them, but i get embarrassed even publishing works with kissing in them because i can never tell if the verisimilitude is there. it's very hard for me to judge the authenticity. i can see myself maybe one day writing a vaguer M-rated fic but it's just not something i have any interest in writing or frequently reading right now.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i try! it usually takes me a bit, as in anything requiring human communication, but i do appreciate comments so i try to thank ppl for them

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nope!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

there's not a big audience for gen no-dialogue character studies and ficlets about two men from a conservative christian kid's radio show kissing, so no

Have you ever had a fic translated?

see above answer

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope~

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

all-time to write? richard/jason. they come very naturally to me since i've been listening to them speak since i was like, 12. steveloki is a close second <3

all-time in general? GOD idk, too many !!! steveloki, richason, jonmichael, morgwen, abed/jeff, comet (costis/kamet), dinluke............ i have lots and i'd probably give 50% of a different answer if you asked me tomorrow

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

in my darker moments i worry that i will never finish Steadfast In the Broken Binding because i just updated it for the first time in over a year. and by "just" i mean, like, two months ago. but i really really want to, and i have a lot of half-formed ideas for how it's going to go, along with a pretty firm ending.

i REALLY doubt i'll ever finish tuesdays in the park with steve. i thought it'd be easy! but it's not! it's not something i should be this worked up over making sure it makes sense, since i am in no hurry to return to this particular crossover after the "mystery spot" spoof is over! but here! we! are! the next chapter is just going to always be half-written in my fic folder i guess

What are your writing strengths?

fuck me if i know. the most consistent compliment i've been given is that my character voices are authentic, which is my favorite compliment because staying true to the characters i love is, at the end of the day, all i care about, so that's nice

What are your writing weaknesses?

plotting, especially clarity. devastating first comment on Perhaps I Had a Wicked Childhood was that they ended up liking it but still didn't really know what was going on. quelle horreur. pacing is sooooo important to me as a reader but it's not something i've mastered as a writer. sometimes i give into the temptation to force the plot to go where it needs to go, and that's not good!!! i just get impatient. :/

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if you know the language well enough to demonstrate your character's actual fluency in it, go nuts!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

adventures in odyssey! tbh that's why the devil gave me a crooked start has so many kudos, it's been around several years longer than the others (2017).

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

it's hard to choose !!! will your system be all right is still really meaningful to me but it's sloppier than i would write it now (it was a vent fic and i published it without proofreading it really at all).

Perhaps I Had a Wicked Childhood, on the other hand, i always remember as sloppier than it actually was, and every time i actually reread a bit of it i'm really proud of it, at least stylistically.

you cannot kill me in a way that matters is, imho, one of my best works when taken as a whole and it kind of kills me that it barely cracked 100 hits. i know why it didn't, ofc, but still. i forget i wrote it sometimes but then i remember and my heart just goes <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

tagging @biromantic-nerd and any of my other moots who do fanfic !! only if you feel like it <3

[cellsshapedlikestars]

hi! I havent been keeping up with fics lately because...life. but i read your new chapter this morning and it was so gripping. and then I commented. and hours later I was like damn I hope I didnt sound demanding. so I go through your comments trying go gauge if I was in fact demanding and I started judging other commenters 😩 I have to ask you: do you ever get annoyed by the tone of comments?

Anyways, theres so many question that need to be answered in the fic! so exciting!!!

An interesting question. The short answer is "yes", but the actual answer is "very rarely"

Please know that every author is different, and I have seen other authors complain about comments that would never bother me. Like people asking for more of something usually doesn't bother me, unless it's demanded or asked in a shitty way. If it's just "oh, I want more!!" I take that as a compliment.

I'm the sort of person who likes to give everyone the benefit of the doubt (to my own detriment, sometimes). I am also aware that tone can get lost in text very easily. So when I get a comment that I'm not sure the tone of, I assume the commenter meant well.

Unless, of course, it's blatantly mean, but those don't necessarily bother me all that much? Mostly it makes me sad cause I'm like... bby, why are you so angry over a free story on the internet? Like I'm genuinely sad for people who are so unhappy in their own lives that they take it out on strangers on the internet over fictional characters, you know? I tend not to respond to these, although sometimes I do when one is particularly annoying, and then I regret it. I know better than to feed those people.

Oh, and sometimes they make me laugh because the person is SO angry. Like the one who got mad on my Jon/Cat fic about how my "anti-military bias oozes all over this". Like yeah buddy. Guess you're new here. Or my favorite comment ever:

(what does this mean? Who knows! I still quote it every once in a while.)

Sometimes comments get under my skin when people fall into POV traps (since I tend to write from a single, limited POV), but I also feel like my irritation is usually with myself - like, was the subtext not clear enough?? Did I not do a good enough job hinting at the non-POV character's motivations??

Oh wait! There are comments that bother me, full stop: I hate when people think they're complimenting my writing/story by putting down other authors/fics (like not specific ones, but in a generic way). Its only happened like 2 or 3 times in the years I've been writing, but I remember them

So basically, I'm pretty easy going lol

(also I went through the comments on my new chapter and none of them in any way bothered me so I literally do not know which one you're referring to haha)

[holyfuckjarchavist]

Misjudged by @shastafirecracker

Rated: T

Word count: 35k

Warnings: RPF adjacent, holiday depression, self-worth issues, a smidge of internalized acephobia, parasocial relationships

Summary

Martin's been a longtime listener of What the Ghost, so when Georgie gives a shoutout to her flatmate's Twitch channel during a Q&A, he checks it out - only to discover that her flatmate is also his most terrifying coworker at his new job. The first time they crossed paths, Jon yelled at him for incompetence. But on the streams, Martin sees an entirely different person - someone fun and relaxed, engaging and unfairly attractive. Over time, Martin begins to find that Jon buried inside his dour, awkward coworker. He also learns to live with the fact that his crush is painfully one-sided... or is it?

So I finished my second listen of TMA, like a perfectly normal person, no big deal. And I have no idea what to do with myself now. But I have read a bunch of lovely fics so I decided to try and shout into the void about the ones I've adored.

I've read Misjudged (and its spicy sequel Curiosity) about seven times. There are so many things I love about it and that I think about it all the time.

First, which is what resonates so much about this story for me, is the relationship between Martin and Georgie. Martin (like me) is just a regular person who listens to his favorite podcast and has a friend crush on Georgie (like Jonny and Alex and lbr the rest of the cast-- right now my big crush is on Lydia Nicholas). It's such a real feeling and the way it's written is so delicate and careful and thoughtful.

One of my favorite scenes is when Martin finally meets Georgie.

And then Martin was being handed a phone, on the other end of which was Georgie fucking Barker.

“Hi! Is this Martin-from-work?”

“Oh God!” Martin yelped, then clapped his hand over his mouth.

“Sorry?”

“I – yes, yes it is – I'm so sorry, I um, I listen to uh, I've been a fan of yours for – a while.”

Yeah, this is me if I got to meet anyone from any media I've ever consumed.

I'm not going to go as in-depth about everything else I love, but this fic is such a balm to my soul after ep 200. It's funny and sweet, fluffy and sad. The emotions hit me in just the right way.

And I've ordered Thai food like six times in the last month.

Tim and Sasha also play a big part in the fic which is fantastic. Plus there are a bunch of fun cameos.

So if anyone out there needs an office-comedy AU to balance out the horror tragedy that is Magnus Archives, then I fully recommend Misjudged.

Read Misjudged on Ao3 here!

[grrmartin]

Imagine if Arya was called Key to the North throughout the books, imagine if she became a folk tale calling her "Northern Girl. Winterfell's Daughter". Imagine if Arya referred to herself as "The Blood of Winterfell". Imagine if Arya looked to North, took strength from it since from at the end of AGOT, imagine Arya thinking she is stronger within the walls of Winterfell. Imagine Arya rebuilding Winterfell from snow (right after the chapter where Stannis offers Jon the chance to reclaim and rebuild Winterfell and while we don't see his answer immediately we know what he decided back then: "Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa."). Now let's imagine after all of that dumbfucks in this fandom insisting "No, Arya has nothing to do with the North, she is going to stay in Braavos, her arc is about becoming an assassin and never returning from that, from then on all she'll do is kill people and maybe occasionally she revenges her family too. And if you say she'll go North, rebuild Winterfell that means you are stealing from other characters' arcs, why do you think she is the most important character huh huh?" Sounds stupid right? Yet here we are...

I've seen many stupid shit in many fandoms, every fandom has its wank after all, but Asoiaf fandom has to be the dumbest of them all. The way they insist on being this idiotic till the end is so weird, so sad. Like guys, it's ok if you don't like Sansa, write whatever fics you want with her dead or villain, no one cares. But when talking about the books, the actual canon material, just stop being this obtuse. How does it help them to bury their heads in the sand and ignore canon? It's pointless and surely it will only lead to more disappointment in the future. 🙄🤷‍♀️

The smart antis were the ones who left after the finale, because they had a feeling it wasn’t going to go their way. The dumb antis are the ones who are sticking it out and believing they can defeat GRRM’s Sansa Stark by pestering her fans. I don’t even mind responding to them. They always think they’ve got a ‘gotcha!’ but they truly never do.

Arya has A LOT of foreshadowing about wanting to see Jon again, to feel like the little girl she was when she left WF. That Jon wouldn’t care what she’d done or became. She even wants to see Sansa again! From ACOK she wants to go North, home to WF. It’s only after being beaten down that she goes to Bravos. I don’t want any Arya stan reading this to think I don’t acknowledge that Arya is also important. I love Arya Stark. I am a former jonrya. I named my cat Arya, I have no animal named Sansa. I say this to remind people that I love canon Arya Stark, truly, just not this terrible person her stans turn her into. I used to love her more than Sansa, but Sansa has grown on me. Either way I truly stan the entire Stark fam, except Robb.