#I've read his translation and it's true
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apricops · 2 years ago
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While thinking about the question I remembered an excellent quote by Robert Eno from his translation of the Mengzi (using the Latinized name Mencius):
Although there are gaps in our chronology of Mencius’s biography, there is no figure in Classical China about whom we know more and whom we know so intimately. Although we have a sense of the characters of many people in China’s Classical era, and in some cases tales about them include colorful detail, many of those accounts were formulated decades or centuries after their lifetimes, and many or most cases have the troublesome defect of being obviously fictional, often building dramatic episodes around a few core features associated with the historical person. But the Mencius is not only rich in detail, both the pattern of event and – more important – the consistent texture of Mencius’s speech and behavior make it very difficult to doubt that, on the whole, we see here a portrait drawn from life by those who knew him well. Mencius’s personality is a dominant factor in the Mencius, and the book shows us a brilliant, volatile, charismatic, irritating, self-righteous man, whose intellectual insights can be so keen that his influence is still felt in China today, and whose self-justifying rationalizations can be so intellectually facile as to undermine the integrity of his central philosophy. The contradictions in his person and lapses in his conduct signal that his textual persona was not an invention of others. We seem to be meeting a real man (real enough that some readers may occasionally feel they would rather have met someone else!).
how would you define ‘a poster?’ (i.e. one who posts) it’s something we’re all familiar with and all of can feel it, but how would you put it into words?
I mean the broad archetype, in the sense of “Diogenes was arguably the first poster” or “the founding fathers of America were all posters.”
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rosysins · 9 months ago
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OOC.
i might add new muses eheh
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ereborne · 9 months ago
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Song of the Day: February 26
“Diamonds in the Mud” by Gerry Cinnamon
#song of the day#another song off that same excellent concept playlist by losersimonriley#there's so many more Scottish bands added to my circulation now it's wonderful#this is a song specifically about Glasgow being his hometown so he uses more of his accent for it which I love#I've been pestering my brothers with accent and slang fun facts for a while now#more or less since the first time somebody had Soap use a particular Scottish saying in their CoD fic and made me go over all !!!!#'innsidh na geòidh as t'fhoghar e' translates to 'the geese will tell it in autumn' and reading that nearly made me explode#because when I was a small child and I asked my uncle too many 'why' questions he told me not to worry about it#that the geese would tell me next fall#amazing to me to find out decades later through Call of Duty fanfiction that that's an actual phrase#preserved for who knows how many generations between the first Scottish folks who must've brought it to Appalachia#and then eventually my Uncle Tommy who decided to use it to turn the aggravation tables around on a child#I'm thinking about that again now not just because it still blows my mind a little bit#(really truly had so firmly accepted it as just my Uncle Tommy trolling me with nonsense. it's such a thing he'd do)#but also because of a specific bit from the end of the song 'it's thirteen degrees and there's folk in the street in the scud'#that's just under 60F (a blissfully warm sunny day in Glasgow it seems) and 'in the scud' means 'naked'#which is also a thing I've almost heard from my family!#my aunts up the mountain and therefore also my father at times would say 'in the scuff' (my aunts with a little tilt to the vowel sound)#there was a sort of connotation of it being a silly or immature or maybe drunken sort of naked. an unimpressive naked at least#like 'Tommy fell into the muddy end of the pond trying to catch that damnfool heron' (this is a true story btw. take that Uncle Tommy)#'when he got back his wife made him take off all his clothin in the yard and hose down first. had to walk into his house in th scuff'#and then all the old ladies cackle about Tommy walkin through his door 'both heads hangin low' and my dad winces a little bit#it's important I share all these memories with my siblings now. most of the family's dead and gone and the boys don't remember#very fun for me to tell the stories now and see Nick do the exact same wince at the slightly mean-spirited dick commentary#just a little family legacy in action. thank you Gerry Cinnamon#(in the spirit of song-of-the-day though I will share my favorite line without the contextual boost of silly ereborne family stories:#'I know a guy who's a lightweight / one or two jars and he's buckled#he's the guy that loses keys / has to break into his ain house and gets huckled'#ungodly fun to sing and I do know several of this guy. not related to them though. my whole family drinks like fish)
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hedgehog-moss · 1 month ago
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as a "beginner" dipping g his toes into nonfiction but as someone who otherwise enjoys pretty much any genre (and as such is open to anything, from educational to biographical), what would you recommend?
Oh, that's vast! You are forcing me to cast a wide net and give a thousand suggestions... I'm going to limit myself to 3 ideas per category so I don't go overboard.
Nature / environment: Carl Safina's Beyond Words: What Animals Think and Feel; Paul Kingsnorth's Confessions of a Recovering Environmentalist and Other Essays; Robin Wall Kimmerer's Gathering Moss
Science / medicine: Holly Tucker's Blood Work: A Tale of Medicine and Murder in the Scientific Revolution, Richard Preston's The Hot Zone, Paul Lockhart's A Mathematician's Lament (I mostly enjoyed the first part in which he rants about the current state of maths education and says maths deserves better) or Carl Sagan's Cosmos (if I write "or" between two book recs it only counts as one)
Language: I liked Arika Okrent's In the Land of Invented Languages so much that I won't even nominate anyone else in this category. ... But I'll make up for it by allowing myself additional titles in the next one:
Politics / society / culture: Jodi Kantor's She Said, Frederik & Bastian Obermayer's The Panama Papers, Caroline Criado-Pérez's Invisible Women, Patrick Keefe's Empire of Pain, Michael Meyer's The Last Days of Old Beijing, Barbara Demick's Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea
History: I'm realising that everything that comes to mind is horribly bleak: Jack London's The People of the Abyss, Timothy Egan's The Worst Hard Time, Svetlana Alexievich's Voices from Chernobyl... I've read some fun historical nonfiction in French but right now the only thing I can think of in English that's not depressing is Matthew Goodman's The Sun and the Moon, the subtitle of which is: The Remarkable True Account of Hoaxers, Showmen, Dueling Journalists, and Lunar Man-Bats in Nineteenth-Century New York.
About literature: Wisława Szymborska's Nonrequired Reading, Alexandra Johnson's The Hidden Writer: Diaries and the Creative Life, Alberto Manguel's The Library at Night.
(I was going to include a philosophy section but I realised I p much exclusively read philosophy in French or Spanish, and it's usually recent stuff that's not been translated... But if you've never read philosophy I recommend Jostein Gaarder's Sophie's World, it's a novel about the history of philosophy so it straddles the line between fiction and nonfiction)
Biographies / memoirs: that's the majority of the nonfiction I read so it could be a whole post, but some I've really enjoyed are: Beryl Markham's West with the Night; Gerald Durrell's My Family & Other Animals; Fatema Mernissi's Dreams of Trespass, Ryszard Kapuściński's Travels with Herodotus, Mary S. Lovell's The Sisters (about the six Mitford sisters; if you enjoy it I'd recommend reading their correspondence next—Charlotte Mosley's "The Mitfords: Letters Between Six Sisters")
Miscellaneous: Emmanuel Carrère's The Adversary; Alexandra Horowitz's On Looking. Currently I'm reading Joan Druett's Island of the Lost because it's nice to relativise your own problems in life by reminding yourself that at least you're not stuck on a subantarctic island having to bludgeon sea lions and eat your own crewmates for survival.
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txttletale · 13 days ago
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I was having an argument with someone, and i told them not to use the term "degenerate" bc it's a nazi term. They told me Lenin used the term frequently in his writings. How do I counter? Was Lenin simply wrong?
"lenin used the term frequently in his writings" is pure nonsense. lenin wrote in russian innit. the only translations i've read of lenin's major writings only occasionally use word 'degenerate', and then only in its original sense as a verb meaning 'to decay'. i can find, like, one example of him (in translation) ever using it as an adjective.
even if 1) wasn't true, some pretty significant things have happened between lenin's writing and the present day, such as "the rise of the nazi party and 'degeneracy' becoming a core part of fascist ideology across the globe". it is just doing "ummMmm the swastika is actually a very old religious symbol" but with a red coat of paint
even if 1) and 2) weren't true, we shouldn't be taking "well, lenin did it" as a prima facie reason to do anything, when we live 100 years later in different material conditions and with another hundred years worth of history and theory to work with--and i'm certain that on this point lenin would agree!
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jo-com · 6 months ago
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Charles jealous and possessive please 🔥 Smut. Thank you so much ❤️
₊˚⊹♡ ➛ le mien
Charles Leclerc x Fem!reader
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Summary: Part 2 of Mine
Genre: DARK fic.
Word: 2.03k words
TW: baby trapping, p and c penetration, possessiveness, jealousy, branding, manipulation, obsessive behavior, bit angsty, corruption, brainwashing, wrap it before you tap it folks and overall messed up shit. This is not proofread and there are some grammatical error also google translated french. if uncomfortable minors do not interact!!
─────── ─ ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ ─ ───────
Y/username just posted!
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Liked by Charles_Lecler, Francisca.cgomes, Carlossainz55 and 1,290,456 others
Y/username Happy 4th Anniversary Mon amour!
Charles_Leclerc i love you so much darling!
Y/username i love you more💋💋💋
Carlossainz55 Stay strong guys!
User1 Cutest Couple ever🙈
User2 JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY
User3 Agreed😍
Y/bff The cutest fr
❤️ liked by the author
Arthur_Leclerc Congrats bro!
❤️ liked by charles_leclerc and author
Despite all the love you share on social media, nothing can compare to the real truth that exists beyond the internet.
People don't see the things he does behind closed doors—all those emotional abuse, obsessive behavior, and possessiveness. Never, even once, do people know that it's happening between the two of you.
All they know is the sweet words you guys share in each other's posts and the way you act whenever there are people around you two—all sweet and loving like one of those fairy tale romances you read. But behind all that, they don't see how hurt you are mentally. It was happening constantly, and you were so used to it that you became numb and just succumbed to the growing pain you feel inside. 
To the point where you act like his puppet—doing everything that pleases him, and acting the way he wants you to.
You never once complained, thinking that it was just how love goes.
You were a fool. A fool blinded by "love".
...
"Hey y/n/n, are you alright? Me and mom have been worried about you; you haven't been going to our usual family gathering." your sister asked over the phone.
It was true; you haven't been going to those gatherings for a while now, only because Charles said, "It's not safe to go outside," and of course, like the sweet girlfriend doll you were, you followed his words.
You stared blankly, your mind wandering off. You tend to get lost in thoughts nowadays, and you're not sure why. Maybe it's from the stress you've been feeling, but you just brushed it off like it was nothing.
"Yeah, I am good. I've just been busy lately, you know? Keeping the house safe and everything," you chuckled dryly. 
"You know I can tell when there's something wrong, right? So just tell me."
Before you could answer, Charles walked into the room. With one hand holding Leo, he was snuggled up nice and cozy in his embrace. His eyes roamed around the room searching for you; his gaze then fell prey on your meek figure—you sat there holding the phone in one hand while the other rested on the softly fabricated couch. You looked angelic, as if untouched by any form of evil. 
Then again, Charles wasn't just any form of evil; he was the reincarnation of the devil himself, and he wanted nothing more than to corrupt your innocence.
With a soft smile, Charles walked to where you sat, sitting beside you and settling leo down on his lap. 
"Who are you talking to poupée (doll)?" he asked nonchalantly.
"Oh, just my sister; we were just catching up on things." You muttered, your voice quivering slightly; you don't know whether you were scared or just have some sore throat that made your voice crack.
Charles looked at you in disbelief, his eyes narrowing with skepticism, and simply turned his attention back at Leo. "Hang up the phone," he said bluntly, not even sparing you a glance.
"But baby, we were just talking." You tried to argue with him, telling him that you just wanted to chat with your sister, but as usual, he blocked your words of plea and glared at you—he always does that, looking at you as if he were judging your whole soul.
His eyes have always been your weakness; they both scare and pleasure you at the same time. Charles knows that, and he uses it to his advantage every time.
The atmosphere in the room was heavy; you could feel it weighing down and crushing your spirit.
Sighing defeatedly, you had no choice but to end the call with your sister and not further complicate things.
"Hey, uhm, sis, I'll just call you back, okay? Something just came up."
You didn't even let your sister respond before hanging up the call. Charles hummed contentedly and patted the seat next to him. At that very moment, you felt angry with him, but you knew that you couldn't do anything about it, so you sucked it up and sat beside him. Leaning close to his embrace.
"Bonne fille, ma chérie (good girl, my darling)," he mumbbled softly, kissing the roof of your head.
...
Charles gripped your waist tightly, his jaws clenched, and hands balled up to a fist. He half-ass smiled at the man, trying to compose himself—fighting back the urges to beat the shit out of the guy in front of them.
He saw the way he looked at you; his eyes scanned each and every part of your body like you were some kind of art on display. fucking disgusting. 
You, on the other hand, held on to him, almost ripping the fabric of his clothes with your tight grip. You paid no mind to the guy he was talking to and just stared at the bustling room; in there, people were having fun, dancing, and drinking with others. 
At that moment, you didn't care about Charles or who he was conversing with; all you wanted was to spring free from his embrace and just party wild with others. Was that too much to ask for?
For him, it was. If it was legal, he wanted nothing more than to lock you up and live the rest of your lives together. So, having that idea was just wishful thinking—it never hurts to dream, though. 
"I'll see you around, yeah?" The man asked, earning a subtle nod from Charles as an acknowledgment.
"Quel putain de cinglé (what a fucking weirdo)," he mumbled under his breath, his accent making the words sound more spiteful and venomous.
You didn't hear him say that. You were too busy to admire people's enjoyment and bask in the laughter and smiles that surround you. How could people be as care free like that? The ache on your heart only grows fonder. Oh, how you wish you could do the same. 
With your head up in the clouds, you didn't seem to notice the angry monegasque that stood beside you, cursing you in any language he knew. The next thing you felt was a harsh sting that rested on your jaw.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? I've been trying to talk to you! What are you even looking at? Are you cheating on me, Chienne (Bitch)?" he yelled, not even caring anymore if people heard him.
Your breath hitches, eyes widening, and heart racing fast.
His hands were now on your jaws, gripping them with sheer strength. You didn't know what was going on or why this was  happening to you. You were always so nice and never did anything to cause harm, so why?
All those questions in your mind made your vision go blurry and your head spin, causing you to black out on the spot.
...
You woke up the next day with a pounding headache and only bits of memories of what happened that night. "Ouch," you winced, massaging your head to try and ease the pain. 
As if on cue, Charles walked in with medicine on his left hand and a glass of water on the right. 
His face lit up, seeing that you were now awake. He softly smiled and walked towards your shared bed. The matress dipped down as he sat next to your sitting body.
"Are you feeling better, mon amour?" he asked. His hand was about to stroke your cheeks, but out of reflex, your body flinched at his sudden movement. 
That made Charles frown. You know how bipolar his mood has been; that's why you've been extra careful not to ruin it. You were expecting him to be mad, but what happened was the opposite. He only sighed deeply and lowered his head. 
"I am sorry, Mon cœur." Your being shocked was an understatement; in fact, you were flabergasted at his words. You never knew that hearing him say that would make you want to tear up.
"Hey, baby, it's okay. I know you didn't mean for it to happen," you assured him, and rubbed circles around his arm. 
And just like that, Charles once again got you wrapped around his finger. You were way too easy to convince and so naive that you'd fall for anything he said.
He slowly lift up his head and gave you a light smile.
You then melted at his expression, it was silly of you to think that a face like that could ever harm you. he would never do that.
...
"Fuck, Charlie, put it in already, please," you begged, your eyes watering from the overstimulation. His hands gripped your waist tighter—muscles flexing in the process. 
"You're so needy for my cock, mon amour," he breathes out. 
The two of you have been at it for half an hour now, both out of breath and with marks made by one another. Your bodies were sticky with each other's bodily fluids, but you guys paid no mind to that. Only focusing on reaching the pleasure you both wanted so badly.
Without wasting a second, Charles huridly inserted his dick into your aching core. Your eyes widened from the sudden sensation between your thighs; you could feel how he was stretching you, and the need for him to satisfy you only increased. 
"Move, please" you said, your voice quivering and hands scratching his back to let out some of the pain.
Your legs instantly rested on his lower hip, wanting to keep him as close to you as possible. You don't know why you're acting like that, but you suddenly got the urge to mount him and fuck him till dawn. 
"Shit baby, you're always so tight," he chuckled, his left hand settled in the headboard while his right hand played with the nub of your tits.
His hips clashed with yours, making the two of you a moaning mess. Charles then dove down to your breast and licked it, biting and teasing them. He made sure to leave plenty of marks. 
"Oh god, i..i am about to come," you gasped, your toes curling from the rush of adrenaline coursing through you. 
"Just come for me, baby," he said, continuously pounding into you, your flesh crashing at each other and making a loud, smacking sound.
His hand then snaked up to hold onto your ankles, lifting it up. Shifting his dick into a deeper position.
With the new found position, your vision started to go blur; now only seeing nothing but stars. Your mind then turns hazy, and hands gripping tightly on the duvet sheet that scattered on the bed.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck" was the only thing you said before collapsing on the matress, your body convulsing with pleasure as your juices slowly fall down your flush tighs.
"Damn, all that for me, ma chérie?" Charles laughed, licking his lower lip at how ravishing you look; fucked out and cockdumb for him.
He continued to rut his hips to your overstimulated cunt. "Fuck, Je veux mettre un bébé en toi (i want to put a baby inside you)" he mumbled, not minding your state and carried on fucking you into an oblivion.
"I'ma fill you with my cum, make you a mama and the fill you up again....fuck" he rambled, his hips never stoping, not until he reach his high.
And after a few more thrust, he finally came inside of you— his eyes rolling in the back of his head with satisfaction. He continued to rut into you; not wanting to spill his cum and then coating your walls with his white seed.
You were sure to get pregnant by that and after that, you two are going to be tied forever, just like he planned.
...
yeah that was pure filth, hope you guys like it though! My requests are always open.
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starry-bi-sky · 1 year ago
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I saw a post a few months ago (and damn was it really months? In PLURAL?) that was a cracky dpxdc au where the LOS were making Damian clones but the clones kept getting snatched by ghost portals and dropped into Danny’s lap and Danny just goes “ok ig this is my life now” and takes care of each one until he has his own mini army of Damian Clones.
And I remembered it a few days ago, and now I've been thinking about it again. Because I love clone aus (see: clone danny au, the 'danny is thomas wayne' au) because it itches the part of my mind that loves exploring personhood and the exploration of identity and what it means to be clone.
(What do you do when nothing about you is unique? When your face, your eyes, your hands, your hair, your voice, all the way down to your heart, all belong to someone else?)
(When it comes to nature vs nurture what of you came from your environment and your experiences, and what of you was already programmed into you from the DNA that made you?)
(What do you do to make it unique? What do you do to make you unique?)
And if I could remember who made that post I'd @ them right now because it was their original post that inspired this, but I'm just thinking of if the au only had One Singular Damian clone that fell into Danny's life.
(a read more because im apparently incapable of making posts that are less than 1k words...)
One Damian who knew he was a clone and knew that he was to either bring the original back to base or kill him to take his place, who was being trained the same way but kept getting compared to his original over and over again. Like an older sibling who you can never match up to. Who is still a child who craves adult affection and validation and praise, and can't get it because nothing about him is original.
One Damian who, at six years old, in a twist of fate is sucked through a swirling portal and lands in Amity Park, directly on top of, in front of, or in line of sight of one Daniel Fenton, half-ghost extraordinaire and local hero.
What happens next?
Well, for one, Danny recognizes him immediately. He would recognize the face of Damian Wayne anywhere because his best friend was ranting about him all week about Damian Wayne's environmental stuff he does.
And for two, he would recognize that the Damian Wayne in front of him was not Damian Wayne. Because Damian Wayne was a teenager. And the Damian Wayne in front of him is a child. Six years old.
Getting this not-Damian but also-Damian to go along with Danny is not, not an easy task. The tiny Damian is aggressive, regal, and at this point in time, six years old, barely understanding english. He also has a sword.
It takes all day and a google translator to get this Tiny Damian to finally agree to go home with Danny. It's a miracle. Seriously. A tried and true miracle. And its also only when Danny has to fight a ghost does he finally agree, saying something in arabic that Danny doesn't understand.
Danny flies them both home, carrying Tiny Damian like a koala. The ensuing conversation in his room is not any better. It is tiring, long, and exhausting. Tiny Damian is six years old, and every single thing he says when Danny asks where he came from is met with a poorly translated "that's classified".
Danny keeps an eye on the news. There are no reports of Damian Wayne going missing, in fact he's been rather public. Bruce Wayne is not one to lie about his children going missing, and Damian's secretive behavior and young age draws Danny to one conclusion: Damian is a clone.
He doesn't know why Damian Wayne is being cloned. Frankly he doesn't really wanna know, because whatever organization that did it doesn't seem too pure-of-heart if tiny-Damian's immediate attempt of murder when they first met is of any indication. But he's too busy taking care of his city, that he doesn't have time to deal with whatever shady business Tiny-Damian was produced from.
In the end though, he decides that this Tiny-Damian is not going back to whatever place he came from. Tiny Damian disagrees. It is a long, nebulous problem of Damian trying to run away, Danny catching him, and Danny pulling him back home.
In that time, Danny downloads a language app and starts learning Arabic so that they can talk to each other properly. Damian slowly, slowly, starts picking up English.
In that time, Danny also has to inform his friends and his sister about Damian. Tiny Damian is not a fan of this. That is another argument they have. Tiny Damian does not like Sam or Tucker for a long, long while. He only really "listens" to Danny, citing something in arabic that Danny still cannot understand, but has a repeated use of the word "lieazir". It's the only word that Danny can catch in a sentence immediately, because its what little Damian calls Danny.
Tiny Damian, in that front, is very interested in Danny's powers and in his parents work. He finds tubberware of ectoplasm in the fridge once while they're down in the kitchen and calls it something with the word lieazir in it. The other word is something that Danny later learns means water in arabic.
It makes him feel even more uneasy of whatever place little Damian came from.
It takes weeks for little Damian to finally give up on escaping, and then a few weeks more for him to almost entirely lose his spunk. Danny isn't sure what started it. It was as if he'd been flipped with an off-switch.
(Damian had been so confident that the League would go looking for him after his disappearance. He was wrong, and he is crushed. He is still a child, alone, in a country very big and very busy, where nobody understands what he's saying. He feels powerless, helpless.)
(The lazarus boy who calls himself Danyal is nice to him in a way the league has never been, and he's making an effort to learn Damian's language. But he leaves for hours at a time and Damian doesn't have much else to do but wait in this house for him to come back.)
(He tried leaving, many many times, but he doesn't understand the street signs, the roads, the people. He doesn't know where he is, and he feels scared in a way that he's not felt in the League. Danny finds him every single time, hours later when Damian is lost somewhere in Amity Park)
(And he never yells at him. Never. The first time this happens, Damian puffs himself up and prepares himself for this strange lazarus boy to yell at him. Damian feels like he's tripped on the last step of the stairs when Danyal doesn't yell at him.)
(He can tell he's frustrated by the tone of his voice, but when Danyal lays eyes on him he just looks relieved. He gets scolded on the flight home, but Damian doesn't understand any of it other than Danyal just sounds worried. Not angry. He gets a proper scolding once they get back, with Danyal typing into the google translator and playing it for Damian to hear.)
(This happens every single time until Damian finally agrees to stop running away.)
It's with Jazz's help that Danny finally realizes that Damian was depressed. It's with her help again that Danny tries helping with it. It's like trying to get a stray cat to trust him. And with everything else they've done, it takes a long time.
And it is so, so worth it when it all works out.
Tiny Damian doesn't really like Sam, or Tucker, but he likes Danny. And he finally starts calling him his name. His full name, but his name nonetheless. Danny doesn't bother correcting him. He's not looking a gift horse in the mouth. And it's endearing hearing Damian call him Danyal.
Damian in this time, also begins to take more initiative into learning English. And they teach each other words they know. Danny buys flash cards and writes the english alphabet on them, and then finds a book on arabic to teach himself and Damian. Sam and Tucker and Jazz start learning as well.
And then when Danny knows enough arabic and Damian knows enough english, and Damian trusts Danny, Damian tells him he's a clone. It's a quiet moment, late at night when Danny takes Damian up to the ops center to look at what stars they could see through the light pollution.
It'd be very easy for Danny to tell him, "I know. I could tell from the start.". He doesn't, it's not the time nor the place, and Danny's matured enough to know when to open his mouth and when to keep it shut. He lets Damian, almost seven now, tell him that he's a clone of Damian Wayne. Lets him tell him why he was made, what his purpose was.
(Danny will need a minute later to process the fact that Damian Wayne originally came from some kind of... assassin league with an obsession with immortality. But he's focused on Damian.)
In the end, he puts an arm around Damian Wayne's clone and pulls him into his side. Thanks him for trusting him, it must've been hard to tell him, that he's brave for being able to. And if he wants to, they can find a way to get into contact with the Waynes and let Wayne know about him.
Damian hides his face in Danny's ribs and holds him tight, and tells him he doesn't want to. Danny leaves it at that.
Perhaps it would be more morally ethical to alert Damian Wayne that there was a clone of him running around, that his... uh, grandfather was making clones of him. Hell, Danny would have liked it. But little Damian has asked him not to say anything, and little Damian needs someone to rely on; someone he can trust.
And in the end, its not that hard of a decision to make. Danny knows little Damian more than he knows Damian Wayne, and while Danny likes to think he's a good person, he knows he's not a great one. Nor a perfect one. He cares more about someone he knows than someone he doesn't.
If Sam tries to argue with him about it, then Danny will just double down. If Damian doesn't want to tell Wayne about his existence, then it's not their place to say otherwise.
There's a lot more to talk about over Damian's cloning, like what he wants to do moving forward. But that's a long conversation not meant to be one taken late at night. Little Damian is falling asleep at his side, seemingly much more relaxed than he did before, and Danny wasn't gonna ruin that.
And later he's right, it is a long conversation, and a slow one. Talking with Jazz about it helps him figure out what to do moving forward, and their best bet is to let Damian figure out what he wants to do. So he sits Damian down at the dinner table the next morning and tells him before breakfast that he doesn't need to be Damian Wayne.
He doesn't need to learn all the same things Damian Wayne did. He doesn't need to do anything that Damian Wayne does. And little Damian is seven, and he's smart, but Danny still has to word it in a way that's not too complex for him to realize.
And in the end, what he says essentially boils down to "You are not Damian Wayne, you are just you. Don't be anyone else but you." and it'll take more time to drill that into his mind when all he's ever heard and learned from is that he was a copy of Damian Wayne, and he must act like Damian Wayne. But it'll happen.
It's a hard task when Danny's the only person Damian really trusts and he can't be by his side all the time, but he starts to warm up to the rest of Danny's family. The Fenton parents know of him, it's hard to keep a six year old child a secret for as long as Danny did without eventually having to come clean about it. His parents, much to Danny's relief, are very welcoming to Damian.
Damian figures out what he likes. Slowly. He's six years old, almost seven, and nobody expects of him to figure out who he is immediately. No child knows who they are right off the bat. So like any child he begins to explore. His english is better but still rough, and he struggles to read said language, but the Fenton family are happy to help even if Damian learns words that no normal seven year old does. (Many of them scientific.)
Damian realizes he likes stars, even if said interest is influenced by the association to Danny. Danny is all too delighted to tell him all about them, and in the process takes him flying out somewhere where the light pollution doesn't reach and showing him where constellations are.
Damian is six-almost-seven, so he doesn't find all of them, but Danny helps him figure out the easier ones. He tells him the scientific facts behind them, and then tells him about the mythos of the constellations. Later on they make their own constellations and make up stories about what they are.
(Damian adores Danny out of anyone else in the Fenton Family. The name Danyal turns to Dany. If anyone asks, Daniel Fenton is Damian's big brother.)
(He still refers to Jazz as Jazmine, and Danny's parents as Mrs. and Mr. Fenton.)
He realizes that, like his original, he loves animals, and he becomes vegetarian too. Sam is smug and Tucker is disappointed, but Damian doesn't super care about their opinions. ...he's getting better at liking them, even if he thinks Manson is a bit snobby and Foley is too much at times.
Its inevitable that the conversation of school comes into play. Damian can't stay home all day and he needs proper schooling. So after a long talk with Damian, they agree to send him to elementary school.
...And before they can do that the Fenton Family goes through with legally adopting Damian into the family as Damian Fenton. It takes convincing to get the administration to enroll him into the first grade without a proper schooling background.
(On his adoption form, Damian asks to change his birthday to the day he met Danny. Perhaps its not the most responsible thing to agree to, but Danny wants Damian to find himself. And its not like they know when his actual birthday was.)
And despite where he learned it from, Damian quite likes sparring. And he quite likes sparring with Danny in particular. Danny makes it fun, something that was foreign in his old league training, and Danny never hurts him. It's a lot like roughhousing.
Danny tells Damian how he got his powers, and how his parents don't know. Damian wakes up late at night to Danny sneaking out of the room (their house is not big enough to give Damian an individual room, and Danny agreed to share his) to go fight ghosts.
It's upsetting. Damian knows that Danny gets injured in those fights, even if Danny never comes home until after those injuries have been fixed up. He wants to help, and he voices it, and Danny shoots him down.
It becomes an argument, something that has happened less and less over the months.
Damian is experienced.
Damian is a child.
Damian knows how to fight.
Damian is mortal and fragile. He is a tiny, squishy human boy and the people Danny fights are ghosts who are near-indestructible. Who are intimately acquainted with death but also do not remember that humans are capable of it. Especially when they're fighting.
Damian says that Batman's rogues are capable of the same thing, that he lets his Robins help him fight.
And Danny says he is not Batman and he will not allow Damian to fight ghosts with him. Those ghosts will kill him and it will hurt. Dying hurts in a way that is terrifying and unimaginable and he will not risk Damian experiencing it. Not even Sam and Tucker help him in his fights most of the time, they are not able to. Not in the way Danny can.
Damian doesn't talk to him all day the following morning, but Danny does not budge on his decision. Damian tries to follow him out the next night, and Danny catches him and takes him back. Over, and over, and over again.
Until finally he gets intercepted by Skulker while taking Damian back home and is forced to fight him in front of Damian. (If it had been his choice, he would not have let Damian see it at all.)
It's not pretty. Skulker has new weapons, weapons that hurt, a lot. Danny is stuck between trying to take him down and trying to protect Damian from Skulker's attacks at him and from all the debris being created from the fight. It's with Damian's quick thinking and fast feet that finally helps Danny take Skulker out. But Danny is badly injured in the aftermath.
He doesn't have time to take Damian home and get medical attention. So he takes Damian with him to wherever he has his supplies stashed. He doesn't call Sam or Tucker or Jazz, and has to stitch himself up alone, with Damian watching.
Damian is quiet the entire time, he feels awful. Danny's not mad at him -- well, he is. But not because he had to protect him. He's just tired, and a little disappointed in him. Damian doesn't sneak out again. But he still feels helpless.
Danny tells him that that is why he doesn't want Damian to help him. Ghosts, his ghosts, are hard to fight. They are powerful, and his 'rogues' are mean. They will not care that Damian is a mortal child, if he picks a fight with them, they will fight back. And Damian is not immune to certain ghost powers like Danny is.
Damian is silent. He wants to help. But Danny is right: he is a squishy, mortal, living child. There is not much he can do to help Danny. Not without any gear to do it. Not without any powers to do it. He wants to help. He cannot.
Damian, almost-seven-years old, begins to cry. It is the last thing Danny was expecting, and for a moment he is at a loss of what to do.
Damian reaches for him -- in the Fenton family, physical affection is expected. Damian is getting used to it, but Danny is the only one he likes touching him -- and then stops, cringing away like he only just remembered that Danny was hurt.
He only cries harder.
Danny meets him halfway and pulls him into his arms, situating Damian between his knees from where he's sitting. Through his tears, Damian says he wants to help. He wants to help. He doesn't want Danny to get hurt anymore. He doesn't want Danny to fight ghosts alone anymore. He's scared that Danny will stop coming back.
Danny doesn't have anything to say to reassure him. Can't say anything to reassure him. It'll all just be lies. He's not going to stop fighting ghosts, he can't. He's not going to stop getting hurt, he can't. He's not going to bring Damian with him, he can't. He'd never be able to live with himself.
"I'll always come back." He says though, because that is something he can promise. Whether dead or alive, he'll come back.
When the tears finally stop, Damian doesn't say anything again. He sniffles, and presses his ear to Danny's chest, listening to the steady, slow heartbeat. If he puts his ear to his sternum and strains his ear, Damian would almost hear the low hum of Danny's ghost core, like a small dwarf sun.
"If you die, I'll drag you to the Lazarus pools myself." Damian mumbles eventually, his voice sleep-full. It's spoken in arabic, and Danny only understands half of it.
He laughs quietly, and smoothes his hand over Damian's hair. He hasn't had a haircut since he arrived, it's gotten long and there are curls beginning to form. "Okay."
Damian falls asleep shortly after, and with much consideration to his own injuries and Damian's sleeping form, Danny flies them back home.
It's hard to say, but not much changes in routine afterwards. Damian hovers close to Danny, more than usual. Danny still goes out at night, he still stitches himself up before going back, he still goes back home where Damian is waiting worriedly for him. Damian doesn't like falling asleep without knowing Danny is there.
Now the hard question is: when does little Damian finally meet the Waynes for the first time? There's plenty of ways to go about it, both easy and hard. Perhaps we go this way:
The Fenton family are visiting Maddie's sister in Arkansas. And Damian is dragging Danny around through the surrounding forest. It's his first time being in a forest this large since he moved in with the Fentons. Safe to say he is delighted by all of the nature, and he's dragging Danny along with him.
Danny likes the peace and quiet it gives him, he's found that he enjoys the rural area more than he likes the city. He's happy to let Damian point out every plant he recognizes, even if some of it is in arabic.
They walk around all day until Damian gets tired, and then at night when the sky is clear Danny and him go look at the stars. It's peaceful at first.
On the third day of their visit, Damian drags Danny out far from the house. It's slightly worrying, but Danny can always fly them back if it gets too late.
It's in the woods that Danny and Damian stray much too far from Alicia's house, and from there in the early evening that they run into Batman and Red Robin, both of them in rough 'just got out of a fight' shape.
Safe to say, it was the last thing any of them expected to run into. Damian and Danny had stopped at a small crik to rest, and the two vigilantes came through the tree line on the other side.
It was... quite the staring contest.
Damian, now seven years old at this point, forgot to mention that the Waynes were vigilantes when he told Danny he was a clone. But he was told that Batman was his original's father.
Before anyone can say anything, little Damian wraps his arms tight around Danny's middle and stares Batman and Red Robin down. His sharp edges have softened around the Fentons. But he makes no exceptions to anyone else outside of Danny's immediate social circle.
Danny's arm automatically goes around Damian's shoulders, and he looks between both Red and Batman uneasily. If they were here then it meant that there was something unsafe nearby. Danny did not fight the living, and he wasn't going to put Damian in the crosshairs of anything that does.
"Should... should we leave?" He asks, brows knotted together with a frown. He stands. "Is there something going on nearby?"
Batman suddenly grunts, and looks at him. "It's been handled." He says, and his voice is gruffer than Danny imagined it. Lower. Danny is not all that comfortable with that answer.
"Do you guys live nearby?" Red Robin asks, and Danny can't help but notice that he keeps looking at Damian. Warily. In fact, so is Batman.
He pushes Damian behind him slightly, and Damian's grip tightens on him. "Not... exactly." He says, his eyes narrowing slightly. "My family's visiting my Aunt and my brother wanted to explore since it's his first time out of the city, I guess we wandered too far away if we're running into you."
There's no visible indication of whether or not both Bats reacted to him calling Damian his brother. But he can all but feel little Damian preen at the title, it makes Danny's mouth twitch into a smile as his hand finds Damian's hair.
"Would we be able to go back with you?" Red Robin asks, startling both Danny and seemingly Batman, who looks at him instantly.
"Red Robin." He growls out, and Red Robin throws Batman a look of annoyance.
"We are lost, B. They jammed the comms and our trackers back there and it hasn't come back on yet, his aunt may have the signal we need to let the others know where we are."
They end up walking back with Danny and Damian. It's silent, and awkward, and Danny has Damian walking on his opposite side so he's not near the vigilantes. Red Robin is fiddling with a phone but still can't get a signal.
Batman is silently brooding.
Red eventually gives up and shoves the phone into a pocket on his belt, then turns to make conversation with Danny. "I never thanked you for letting us walk with you. Thanks, by the way."
Danny blinks at him, and smiles awkwardly. "No problem, man," he says, "I'm uh, Danny." He glances down at Damian, who looks up at him with big green eyes, and Damian nods quietly.
He looks back at Red Robin, and says, "This is my little brother, Damian." And Damian peers over his side and glares at Red Robin -- and Batman, who looks over when Danny says his name.
"He looks like Damian Wayne," Red Robin notes, head tilting like he's inspecting him.
Danny huffs dryly, "We get that a lot."
Red Robin smiles at him, its a tilted thing. It makes Danny uneasy. "Where did you say you were from?"
"I didn't," Danny says bluntly, and he really doesn't want to tell them where he's from. Not when Red Robin was acting strange, but they're vigilantes and notorious for their detective skills. If he's suspicious, they'll look into him. "But I'm from Amity Park."
Damian in that moment, peers around Danny again and scowls at Red Robin. Full on scowls at him, as if it were the first months when he met Danny. "You're being nosy." He sneers, his hand squeezing Danny's.
"Damian," Danny hisses, suppressing a smile. Damian jumps like he's been startled, and looks up at him with big green eyes. "He's just being curious."
(He lets his smile slip through briefly, just to let Damian know he's not that upset. A tension leaves his little brother's shoulders.)
"But he is." Damian continues, a whine leaking into his voice. Danny jabs him in the ribs with his fingers, and Damian jumps, swatting away his hand with a squeak.
"Would you rather have us walk in dead silence, Dames?" He goes for Damian's ribs again, a grin stretching across his face as Damian jumps back again and swats his hand. "Hm? Hm? We could just walk in awkward silence for the entire trip back, I know you just love awkward silence, little brother."
(It's funny, saying little brother always sounds so uncomfortable when he reads it in books and watches it on tv. But Jazz always makes it sound so natural when she does it, and Danny finds that he sounds the same too.)
Damian continues to bat away his hands, but it's not enough to prevent him from squealing with laughter when Danny gets a good hold on him and starts tickling him. Danny's grin only gets bigger, and he swoops Damian up with his arm and holds him like a football.
"Is that it? Huh? Me, you, and two vigilantes walking back to Aunt Alicia's cabin in complete, utter silence." He says, "You won't get to hear any of my amazing jokes."
Damian's wriggling, trying to pound on Danny's ribs, he's giggling uncontrollably. It's the best sound Danny's ever heard. "Your jokes are awful! Laeazir! Put me down!" He cries, grinning from ear to ear.
(From the side, both Red Robin and Batman tense up.)
Danny chuckles, and through a short series of flips, has Damian sitting on his shoulders. "I will not. You're sitting up in air jail for insulting my hilarious jokes."
Damian tugs on his hair in revenge, harrumphing at him but making no move to get down. Danny squeezes his ankles playfully, and looks back to Batman and Red Robin.
Both vigilantes look at him like he's grown a second head.
....Red Robin looks at him like he's grown a second head. Batman just stares, and then looks away. Danny tilts his head at them, his smile waning. "You guys look like you've seen a ghost or something."
(Damian tugs on his hair again. A silent boo at him.)
Red Robin jerks, "Oh, sorry." He says, not sounding all that sorry. "It's just... I've lost count to how many times I've saved Damian Wayne from the occasional kidnapping and he's always been very... serious. It's just weird seeing a kid that looks like him be... not serious."
From his shoulders he feels Damian hide his smile in his hair, that's another thing they can put on their "Things That Damian Does That Damian Wayne Does Not" list. It started as a joke, but it's been surprisingly helpful for when Damian is questioning himself.
However, Danny is not a fan of the comparison, and he smiles widely, perhaps a tad passive-aggressive. "It's a good thing that my Damian isn't Damian Wayne then." He says, giving him the slight stink eye.
Red Robin picks up on it quickly, and nods.
The rest of the way is spent in idle conversation. It's oddly casual, even if most of the conversation is Danny talking about himself. It's annoying, but he unfortunately understands the reason. Secret identities and all that.
Damian interjects a few times, some parts to talk to Danny, and other parts to throw shade at Batman and Red Robin. Mostly Red Robin, who seems begrudgingly used to it.
("I'm surprised you haven't asked me much about myself." Red Robin says at one point into the conversation. Over his shoulder Batman glares at Red Robin. "A lot of civilians do when they're able."
Danny stares at him. "You're a vigilante." He says, frowning, "Isn't it superhero 101 that you don't ask superheroes for their secret identity?"
"You'd be surprised."
"Huh. Well, no. I'm not gonna ask you about yourself. I quite like talking all about me.")
When they finally reach the cabin, it's late into the night and Danny has moved Damian from his shoulders to his front in a koala-like carry. Damian's fast asleep with his head on Danny's shoulder.
His family was also frantically searching for him, and Jazz sees him first. She immediately turns behind her and yells "I FOUND HIM!". And then sprints over to him, his parents thundering not too far behind.
Both vigilantes are subsequently ignored as Jazz dotes over him and Danny, and soon enough so is his mom and dad. They're all talking all at once, asking him where he was, they were worried sick, did he know how late it was.
He shushes all of them, loudly. And whispers that Damian is sleeping. His family then immediately quiet themselves, and go back to yelling at him in a more appropriate manner.
"Me and Damian walked too far by accident." Danny finally says when he can get a word in, and then he jabs his thumb in Red Robin and Batman's direction. "We also found two superheroes who need assistance."
The speed of which his family all snap their heads over to the direction he's pointing is almost comical. As is all of their expressions of shock.
His mother is the first to regain her senses, and she sighs at him. She sighs! "Only you, Danny." She says, and Jazz snorts into her arm.
#dpxdc#dpdc#dpxdc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#danny phantom au#dpdc danny fenton#i am incapable of making short posts it seems. heavy sigh#this post is open to add ons if anyone's interested 👉👈#this entire au is essentially the song 'Strange Sight' by KT Turnstall from the Tinkerbell and the Neverbeast#This post mostly goes into how danny and damian's relationship develops because i think that's the more important part of the au#also damian's like six i firmly believe he wouldn't know much english#no no he's learning arabic first and then english LATER. if he would ever even get there with the league#iirc all the damian clones liked Danny so i wanna explore how their relationship got to that point. Like what happened for Danny to get eve#getting one Damian clone to like him enough to go up to bat for him? that takes time and patience and i wanna explore that lol#danny's in his late teens here btw.#Clone Damian is a 7yo child and I'm writing him as such because its fun. I thought about having Clone Damian change his name but nothing fi#little clone damian is also A Tad Clingy. Danny is the First Person to have shown him a kindness and Damian Imprinted On Him Like a Duck#i love clone aus and clone aus love me#clone damian and danny are bROOOTHEERSS#i thought about making clone damian's name damon bc its close to the name damian but also i like the idea that clone damian keeps the--#original name and then makes it his own. something about taking the name you were given thats not really yours and MAKING it yours
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thepersonperson · 2 months ago
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Gege is doing to his characters what they did to jfk there's so much character assassination happening djsjdsnsdjn
This ask was sent to me shortly after I complained about JJK 269 leaks. (Aka before JJK 270's release so be nice to them.) And while I still agree that chapter contained character assassinations, JJK 270 has given me a good reason for them. 
Since my other post related to this topic was trimmed down by Tumblr’s 30 image limit, I’m going to use this ask as an excuse to this burning question...
Why does everyone feel so out of character in JJK 268–270?
Notes before we start.
1) Read the light novels. They are the equivalent of Bleach's CFYOW for JJK. There is a fan translation (Book 1 & Book 2), but I will be citing the official translation from my own copies.
2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility. 
4) Written as of JJK 270.
5) Read the light novels.
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(Another extremely 'hear me out' discussion under the cut. Click pictures for captions/citations.)
Preface
This post is banking on the framework I set up in the previous related post so please read/skim over it. (If you don't? Just hear me out!)
Short Summary of the Previous Related Post:
Yuji is projecting a massive delusion onto Megumi that gives him a happy ending. JJK 268–270 is a mesh of Yuji and Megumi’s memories and dreams that serve to rationalize all that’s happened to them in a way that allows them to forgive themselves. Sukuna’s vessel memories are probably mixed in too.
Because of this I’m assuming the following:
>The battle recollection in JJK 269 is Yuji constructing explanations from his, Megumi, and Sukuna’s memories during their battle. Neither of these 3 ever knew the plan in full. This can explain why so much of the battle recollection is wrong.
>The characters we see outside of Yuji and Megumi are constructs based on their memories of these people. They’re more like representations than the actual characters.
I don’t know if it means they’re dead or not, but that doesn’t matter. I want to explore the way the characters feel off can be explained by them being memory constructs.
In the previous post, I used "Without love it cannot be seen." from Umineko to give my best faith reading of these past 3 chapters I've hated so much. This time the tool I'll be using is:
"Flipping over the chessboard."
This refers to how one should try to see things from a different perspective.
Memory in JJK
A neat touch that has always been around in JJK is characters remembering others as they last saw them. When Gojo recalls his best students, Hakari has a very different hair style from when we meet him. His recollection of Yuta's is accurate though. When Panda recalls Yuta, the hairstyle differs from what Gojo recalls. And when he recalls Kiara, he mistakenly refers to her as a guy.
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This all can be explained by considering when Gojo and Panda last saw these characters. Gojo last saw Yuta in Kenya with Miguel where he changed his hairstyle. Panda hasn't seen Yuta since he's left the country. Neither Gojo or Panda have seen Hakari and Kiara for a very long time.
Their memories reflect how they last knew them. Kiara is a whole girl now and Hakari is blond. But if Panda and Gojo never saw them again? Those memories would be true to them, even if it’s no longer accurate.
And sometimes the memories aren’t accurate. See this side by side recollection of Gojo meeting Megumi from both of their perspectives.
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I believe Gojo’s memory of this event is the accurate one because he’s 19 when it happens, not under distress when he recalls it, and has the Six Eyes which act like a supercomputer. Megumi’s memory is iffy because he’s 6 when it happens, has a head injury that knocks him out when he recalls this, and doesn’t have perception enhancing abilities. And though Megumi can’t recall the memory in its truest form, what he does remember still tells us a lot about his feelings towards the event and his relationship with Gojo.
The emotions child Megumi felt at the time distort what Gojo was actually like back then. Instead of a benefactor, he’s a suspicious weirdo with a funny face. The heart behind Gojo crouching down to his level, being way too honest with him, trying to give him options, patting him on the head—it’s all missing.
With all this in mind, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume Megumi and Yuji’s impressions of other characters via memory would influence how they appear in these delusions too. Yuji’s impressions probably take the most precedence since I think his will is shaping the delusions the most.
Recalling Incomplete Information 
Yuji is very good at understanding people. He can intuit their feelings and sync up with them easily. (I go over this in greater detail in this post.) But that doesn’t mean he fully understands their hearts. He gets close enough to their core to bond with them, but the little details aren’t quite right. 
If all the characters (save Megumi) we’ve been seeing in JJK 268–270 are constructs based on Yuji’s perception of them, I think this can explain everything off about them.
What made me consider this possibility was JJK 270. There’s this pattern I keep seeing... Characters’ motivations being misunderstood and being resolved by scenarios that aren’t quite right. Every time I try to explain what exactly is wrong with them, assuming their inconsistencies align with Yuji’s perception of them solves the problem.
Amai Rin
Rin is introduced as a coward. He’s unable to fight and goes along with the whims of those stronger than him to avoid getting hurt. This is why he keeps his head low as his friend is being harassed by bullies during his Jr. High days. Still, he tries to help. Just not at a risk to himself.
When Yuji saves his friend and beats all the bullies up, he turns to Rin and assumes he was part of the bully group. This simply isn’t true. He was a bystander. That’s why it’s weird for him to apologize like he was the one who beat the guy up.
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Yuji’s false impression of Rin, one where he’s a bully that feels guilt over his actions, explains this. Rin’s actual guilt comes from him being a bystander—someone who doesn’t take action for others when something is wrong. He dealt with that in the Culling Games by helping Yuji and risking his life to save Angel. And he really stepped out of his comfort zone to join the medical team for the Sukuna battle. He might be the reason Yuta survived. (Yuji doesn’t know about that though.)
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And what’s this? Here Yuji outright admits he doesn’t fully understand what kind of person Rin is. All he knows is that he did some good things and is trying to become a better person. So now we’ve got this other Rin that’s apologizing for something he didn’t do for the redemption he’s already earned.
(And that’s the pattern! Rin’s motivation is misunderstood by Yuji so he’s doing something that seems out of character to us readers, but is perfectly in character for Yuji’s perception of him. When I apply it to everyone else. Everything makes sense.)
Takaba Fumihiko
What Yuji knows about Takaba is pre-Kenjaku development. Yuji knows the Takaba that speaks over others, rejects their criticisms, and insists he’s funny. That’s kind of what he’s doing to Totally Not Kenjaku. In reality, Kenjaku caused Takaba to reflect on his approach to comedy and they are nearly in perfect sync by the end of it. Kenjaku satisfied Takaba.
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Yuji didn’t see that battle and he hasn’t spoken to Takaba since. So he’s constructed a happy ending where Takaba has found his partner and is working towards the show of his dreams that already happened.
I also want to note that Takaba is 100% ok with sex jokes. Kenjaku makes one and he doesn’t object to it. This is just another little detail that makes everything so slightly off.
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Higuruma Hiromi
Yuji knows that Higurama wants to go back to his roots. He knows that he feels guilt over killing people.
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What he doesn’t know is that Higurama’s roots are him being a defense lawyer that cherishes the flaws of humanity. He doesn't want to ever look away from the impurities that even Yuji has. That’s why I think Yuji resolves his problems with him becoming a sorcerer who saves lives.
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Yuji seems to think that Higuruma is like him. He’ll make up for the lives he’s taken via sorcery by saving more. That’s something he could assume from their convo, but that’s not actually what Higuruma wants. He wants to fundamentally change Japan’s legal system for the better in his own way.
Kurusu Hana
She’s the most in character of the bunch. In fact, there’s nothing out of character about her interaction with Megumi. What she represents is Yuji misunderstanding Megumi’s desires.
Yuji understands that Megumi’s type is someone with an unwavering humanity (literally the definition of Yuji’s name) via access to his memories. But for some reason (he’s kind of dumb academically), he thinks this means Hana is perfect for him. 
I think this is because Hana meets Yuji’s definition of a good person. She’s just like Megumi. She saves others for a selfish purpose. And that means…Hana does not meet Megumi’s definition of a good person. Not once has he considered her saving others as selfless. (...But Yuji has.)
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And that’s just facts. Hana is kind of unhinged. She’s extremely possessive of Megumi and saves others solely to win him over. Yuji saves others because it’s the right thing to do.
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Megumi’s preferences are Yuji, not Hana. Which has led to the most awkward confession and rejection scene. That might have clued Yuji in to construct an alternative. In the memory Yuji is probably recalling, Todo does clock Megumi as someone into dudes.  …The very next scene is Yuji hitting on a dude in front of his gf in a way that causes him to blush. (Yuji has not once complimented someone’s body up to this point if I recall correctly. And he’s been around some beefy dudes.)
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(Yeah Nobara me too. Second most leftfield possible bisexual confirmation I’ve read in a manga. The first will always be from Baki the Grappler.)
Is this Yuji letting Megumi know it’s ok to come onto him? Is he not initiating because Hana’s forwardness freaked Megumi out? It’s possible. 
What this suggests is that Yuji is kind of fine tuning this whole delusion to make Megumi as content as possible. It’s telling that the moment Megumi starts getting super uncomfortable the scene jumps to something else.
It happens at the beginning of the chapter too. Gojo is mentioned by Shoko in a way that causes Megumi to pause. And Bam! Change scene.
Anyways, I hope this demonstrates that Yuji working with the limited information from memories is most likely the reason for everything being so funky. It’s character assassination by accident.
Why make these happy endings when this is all for Megumi?
Two reasons as to why I think Yuji is trying to give everyone a plausible happy ending.
1) He genuinely wants them to live good lives.
2) It has to be believable for Megumi to accept them as real and forgive himself.
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This line may have been about Yuji, but Megumi’s not any different. He blames himself in the exact same way Yuji blames himself.
I also think there's something to be said about Yuji crafting a dream that resembles the perfect cookie cutter Shonen ending. The guy gets with girl he has no chemistry with. All these complicated plot lines are wrapped up with a neat little bow. Everyone lives and goes on like nothing traumatic happened.
Yuji is a big fan of Shonen. Straight up his final move against Sukuna is a Hunter X Hunter reference. That's not just Gege doing a reference as a fan, Yuji himself is a fan of that manga.
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I think Yuji is trying to make this fiction a reality because it's the only way he knows how to cope with his trauma.
JJK 269’s Character “Assassinations”
I promise I still hate this chapter. But I won’t deny how fun it is to pretend these are all delusions Yuji created for Megumi’s sake. I went over Kusakabe to cut him some slack in the previous post, so let’s do everyone else.
(The chapter’s formatting as one long unending nightmare makes it hard to separate this stuff out by the character. I’m just going to do groups this time.)
The 2nd Years
The most common complaint from readers outside of Kusakabe telling Yuji he should’ve died is Maki being really fudging mean to Yuta. Maki is mean, but she’s not that mean. You could assume this is her showing Yuta she cares and that her anger scales with worry but… Here’s a side by side comparison of her getting angry over Yuta risking his life in Vol 0 vs JJK 269.
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Pretty big difference I think. Here is a Maki with a Yuta she thinks is about to die vs a Maki with a Yuta who is 100% ok. And the only reason she even gets mad in Vol 0 is because she had no idea Yuta did something that risky. Maki already knew Yuta was going to body hop if all else failed, so her reaction here is disproportionate, especially since he survived.
Speaking of survival, the first thing Maki, Panda, and Inumaki do when Yuta survives in Vol 0 is ask if he’s ok and thank him for saving them. This doesn’t happen in JJK 269. They're all very protective of Yuta after the events of Vol 0. We see them defend him from Gojo for being a little mean about his training. They’re all against the plan because of how much they value him. The 3 of them not checking in on Yuta immediately after the fact is wildly OOC.
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The explanation I have? This version of Maki is based on Yuji and Megumi’s memories of her. (And let’s remember that Megumi claims he can’t openly respect her and the other 2nd years outside of Yuta.) When Megumi and Nobara mourn Yuji’s “death”, Maki does this to them.
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Maki also intimidated Yuji pretty bad when they first met. Her, Panda, and Inumaki went along with bullying Yuji after he came back to life. It makes sense that Yuji would up Maki’s meanness. He’s not been around her long enough to know she’s not like this when it comes to people she cares about. 
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I do think it is weird Maki is pre-awakening levels of mean. This could also be Yuji trying to return to the time before everything went to absolute hell. Or...because she’s Yuji’s construct, this could be him expressing his anger at Yuta for defiling Gojo’s body in a very roundabout way. From both Yuji and Megumi’s perspective, Yuta didn’t discuss this beforehand and used it as a last second plan. And that’s kind of how the conversation goes. Everyone talks about Yuta’s Yujo plan like he didn’t clear it with them first.
It’s also telling that they harp on Yuta over Miguel and Larue. Miguel said no help unless Sukuna’s domain was down. Everyone except Yuji knew that. There was never a scenario where they’d help from the start. But to Yuji who only heard they might show up? It’s a missed opportunity.
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Say if you were, trying to find a reason for such a horrific defiling of a loved one’s body. Wouldn’t you try to reconstruct the crime by considering the motives and methods? That would help give you some closure, right?
I think that’s what Yuji is doing for himself and Megumi. Yuji is trying to figure out why things went the way they did through a blend of what Sukuna intuited and what makes the most sense to someone who never had full knowledge of the plan. 
And if you think about it, this is still a happy ending for them. They’re all absolved of their guilt surrounding the outcome of the battle. Even if they screwed up, they’re all still alive and able to move forward in a better world. They did the best they could, so it’s time to move on from what happened to Gojo. Thinking about that too much would break someone.
Mei Mei and Ui Ui
Mei Mei is out of character in a way that’s unique compared to everyone else. She’s still herself, but with less…yikes. It’s odd since Yuji has seen how awful Mei Mei can be and is deeply uncomfortable with how she treats Ui Ui. He’s not missing information about her motives so why have we gone from this to this?
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I propose this is an extension of Yuji’s denialism. (We’ve seen how avoidant he is with Gojo’s death.) Mei Mei is grooming Ui Ui and has made it clear this is all for money. Ui Ui is being abused, but he’s so attached to his abuser that separation would break him. How do you make a happy ending out of that?
Well, you can soften those edges. Spin a tale where Mei Mei is an over-doting sister who would kill for her cute little brother. She doesn’t touch him inappropriately, she just plays with him. She loves money as much as him! No abuse here! She’s not someone who would kill a child for cash.
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And in a weird way this whole Simple Domain debacle mirrors Gojo killing the higher ups. If Maki is Yuji's rage towards the Yujo plan, then this could be him trying to process his mentor slaughtering a bunch of old people in mass for his sake.
It probably helps that Yuji wasn’t there to see Mei Mei tell Ui Ui to die for her. There’s no way he knows she was paid to help kill him either.
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Mei Mei doesn’t care about the well-being of other people. She’s just a hardcore capitalist who loves money and will do anything for it. But this version of her can be less terrible to Ui Ui while still getting her cash and that’s sort of ok I guess? Yuji has moved on from this and so will I.
The Megumi & Nobara Problem
The 1st years going on like nothing happened after Sukuna has made readers feel betrayed. It flies in the face of everything that’s been established for them when it comes to mourning.
As stated in CFYOW, JJK Thorny Road at Dawn, Chapter 5: At the End of a Sidewalk, this is how the trio deals with grief.
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Despite knowing Yuji for only 2 weeks his death screws with Megumi and Nobara pretty badly. In the manga, it looks like Nobara is more upset because she’s visibly in pain, but I think the light novels show they’re equally shaken. 
This is why the non-reaction to Gojo’s death makes no sense. Megumi has known Gojo for a decade. He’s 6 when he first meets him and 16 when he dies because Sukuna used his Cursed Technique (CT). Nobara knew Yuji for 2 weeks, and didn’t see him for another 3 months. In all that time, Gojo was her teacher. She knew him longer than Yuji. When she “dies” Gojo is on the same tier as Yuji and Megumi to her.
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So why is it that in JJK 268, Nobara thinks of Gojo as a creep? Why did she toss his letter despite him being one of the people she thought of in death? 
Well… When Yuji came back from the dead via Gojo’s prank he heard Nobara say this.
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Nobara is prone to saying out of pocket nonsense to people. If she thinks it, she says it. Yuji also doesn’t understand Nobara’s thought processes (Just like Amai Rin he admits it too!). Nobara tries to hide her feelings to appear tougher than she is sometimes. So I think Yuji has done to Nobara what he has done to Maki—upped the meanness and neglected the heart.
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And though Nobara being a construct can explain her behavior, this still leaves us with Megumi who is definitely not one. Why is he acting like Gojo meant nothing to him?
Megumi in particular is super fragile when it comes to his feelings. This is how stressed he gets when he learns exactly why Tsumiki is in a coma.
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She’s not even dead and he’s halfway to a mental breakdown. The idea that he can just look at her grave once after having a hand in her murder and move on this quickly makes no sense. Inadvertently killing his defacto guardian he’s been raised by for 10 years should be upsetting him to a similar degree. (Maki said Gojo treated him like a precious treasure!)
When Megumi is on the verge of death he thinks of Tsumiki, Yuji, and or Gojo. It’s always at least 1 of those 3. There’s no way Gojo dying and having his corpse reanimated for reasons Megumi might feel responsible for isn’t screwing him up.
Unless…Yuji is suppressing his memory on purpose. He can’t even cope with what happened to Gojo, how is Megumi supposed to? How can either of them forgive themselves for that if they acknowledge it in full?
When Sukuna tries to tell Megumi to give up, he looks miserable. Every time Sukuna has verbally kicked Yuji while he’s down, he’s done it with a big old smile and laugh. He doesn’t hold back and goes for the throat.
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Sukuna is being very nice to Megumi here when he doesn’t mention Gojo at all. The only death he blames on Megumi is Tsumiki. Everyone else? Nothing. That’s weird given that Sukuna will pass the blame of his kills onto Yuji to torment him.
Is this Sukuna a construct or is he playing nice because he respects Megumi? Who knows. Whatever happened here seems to point to Gojo’s memory being suppressed for Megumi’s sake. 
And why might Megumi accept this suppression? Why does he seem to be going along with Yuji’s delusions? The Unlimited Void brain fog. Megumi brings attention to it after he wakes up. 
If Sukuna can’t think straight after Gojo brain damage, neither is Megumi. Still Yuji has to be careful. If Megumi thinks too much, the illusion will be broken. 
What does this mean for them?
Well, the character assassination isn’t real (probably) which is a good thing! Other than that? Not a clue. We’ve got a real catbox situation here. I can’t tell who is dead anymore.
Sukuna projects delusions when someone he’s connected with is dying. Yuji projects delusions someone connects with him while he’s severely injured/concussed. Both of them are kind towards the people they’re interacting with in this space between dreams and reality. They try to give people endings that leave them satisfied.
JJK 270 ends with the hunt for a curse user who can distort perceptions of reality. This curse user is initially mistaken as a cursed spirit. That sounds like Sukuna I think.
I’m pretty confident this happy ending illusion will be shattered, that's for sure.
My Final Answer
I'm betting it all on this being a delusion. This is a kind of prediction that will either age well, very badly, or interestingly. I don't know what's in store for the final chapter...but I do have some ideas I'd like to speculate with.
"Without love it cannot be seen."
This time I'm going to use this phrase very literally. I'm going to make one final gamble on the assumption that love is the answer. So let's go back to Love itself—one of those reoccurring themes in JJK.
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Love is a curse in JJK. It has the power to distort reality and transform loved ones horribly. Desperation to save a loved one from death over and over has resulted in extremely traumatic things. Yuta turned his childhood crush into monster that caused havoc for years. You can blame everything that has happened in JJK on Gojo being unable to get over the loss of his loved one, Geto.
Hana could've vanquished Sukuna on the spot, but she didn't because she loves Megumi. It's something a lot of people blame her for. If she had just killed him there, the Sukuna battle wouldn't have happened. But that's not really the truth. The only reason Sukuna even got his powerful is because Megumi refused to let Yuji die.
Megumi and Yuji going back and forth trying to save each other have been acts of love driving the plot of JJK since the beginning of this manga. If Megumi actually died on Yuji? Who knows what would happen.
...
A lot of readers have been on a very funny copium because of these last 3 chapters. Some of them joke that they are just one massive Takaba-induced hallucination. This theory has some merit to it! After all, his CT does two things:
1) It distorts reality.
2) By sheer force of will it bends people's souls to his whims.
One of the biggest complaints about the past 3 chapters has been the Merger plot ending abruptly. As of JJK 270 Tengen and Sukuna's remains have been mixed into the barrier around Japan and everything is just fine according to Gakuganji.
People wanted to see what the Merger would do, just like Kenjaku. In universe, Tengen made a prediction. They guessed that the impurity from humans would dominate and consume everything. The impurity that Higuruma wants to protect. The impurity that Higuruma sees in Yuji.
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Would Sukuna activate the merger and kill Megumi to spite Yuji? Absolutely.
Would Yuji do or become anything to save Megumi's life? Absolutely.
Do whatever you want with this information.
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somethingpersonarelated · 7 months ago
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On simplifying Akechi
My brain was ridden with these ideas people have about Akechi that piss me off a little. Mostly ones that say he is "just crazy" or "just hates Joker." There's countless metaposts countering these arguments (and they are absolutely wonderful) but I often wonder WHY simplifying Akechi down is so appealing, even to people who are fans of his character. I can't say I've never been immune to simplifications of his character either, and I feel like that's important to admit. I don't even think it's necessarily a bad thing, but I was wondering about that why question.
TW: Discussions of mental health and child abuse
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Source: A high schooler's holiday from the P5 Comic Anthology (read it here!)
I do think it's hard for all of the little things Akechi's character builds upon to be conveyed through a single playthrough. If you go in blind or don't finish his confidant, you may only get that surface level exploration of his character. Base Akechi is flashy and still gets the point across that it needs to: he's a foil to Joker and the PTs. However, by missing out on his social links and special events, you miss cultural, relationship, and personal context.
Many words have been said about the translation, particularly in the engine room, being faulty in areas. But some people still don't understand that Akechi's plan isn't to kill Shido, even when the text makes that clear. There's also this scene with Shido, which reads more as an exposition dump in a long section of the game most players will either tune out or skip. Not everything you see will always stick in your head, and Persona is a LONG game. I feel like it's easy to forget people just... forget canon sometimes. It's easier to put these details aside and say Akechi isn't affected by the system he's raised in. But the reality is, you miss what Lavenza says about Akechi's role, you miss that one exposition scene, and you miss the confidant: you believe Akechi had much more autonomy than was actually true. In conversations I've had with people IRL about Persona, 2/3 either skipped or did not finish Akechi's confidant. It isn't improbable, playtimes can range from 100-300 hours, most playthroughs take weeks. People will forget things. It isn't a maybe, it WILL happen.
When the game feeds you so much information, it's also easier to take what the characters say at face value. Doing this with Akechi will bite your ass. Those words in Rank 8 are directly expanded upon in No More What Ifs, the engine room, and 2/2. Maruki and Morgana confirm Akechi doesn't hate Joker, but you never hear Akechi say it himself. To me the game beats you over the head with this information (as the game has a tendency to do for certain situations), but I've also been in the rabbit hole for over a year now.
There's also this idea that recognizing that Akechi was set up by Yaldabaoth, his upbringing, and Shido means that all the venom is taken away from his actions. That isn't true, and Akechi holds to that in third semester. He doesn't give himself any grace for the situation he landed in, wanting to take accountability for it when it is undone without his consent. Akechi is by no means a perfect victim, and he doesn't believe that either. Recognizing that he had no choice, it was either homelessness and neglect or the plan he conjured himself only brings to light the tragedy of his situation, not whether his actions were morally incorrect. He wanted his father to be in his life, and he wanted his father to suffer. He wanted to have someone like Ren in his life, and he couldn't have someone like Ren because his plan would be jeopardized. It's a series of choices, some of which are forced upon him, some of which he chooses himself. That is an important distinction to make.
There's also this idea that Akechi is 'just crazy,' or never suffered from abuse or events that affected him long term. That he doesn't suffer from unspecified mental health conditions or trauma, and chose everything with a clear mind. When someone brings up this argument, it's usually in response to people talking about his life experiences. That somehow, the existence of trauma or a condition is an excuse for whatever he did. There's a double standard here: Akechi is someone who suffers from a condition that makes him 'plain crazy', simplifying his entire motivation and role in the story, while also removing him from the context of his mother, Shido, and his experience with the foster system. Actually interacting with these facets of his character brings to light the challenging things the story asks you to think about when it comes to Akechi: Is he a victim? Is he like the Phantom Thieves? What about his situation informed his choices? Interacting with this requires effort and an actual acknowledgement about what it means to be someone that suffers from trauma. Calling him 'plain crazy' not only is in disservice of textual analysis, but more importantly incorrect (and frankly, it falls straight into ableist tropes about mental health).
Sometimes internet debates/discourse lead to simplification, even just random headcanons may lead to simplification. That isn't always bad. There are many ways to say what I said here in fewer words. I, unfortunately, am not skilled enough to do that. But some of these simplifications lead to entirely incorrect judgements about a character, or even about mental health issues. When that happens, I wish people would learn to reflect about what that means when they interact with a piece of media. Or even with other people.
tldr: people should learn to say they just don't like things instead of coming up with excuses that make no sense. basically
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dropthedemiurge · 10 months ago
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Love for Love's Sake | Things you didn't notice (probably)
Finally, I am watching a good K-BL and can enjoy multi-layered meanings within language, culture and translated subs altogether (unlike with Thai series where I need to learn a new language again xD)
So I'll be pointing out some fun things that I noticed for fellow foreign viewers =) Beware of a long post!
Disclaimer: I'm not fluent in Korean, but I've been learning and using it for years + lived and studied in Korea for a while so I'm offering my perspective and knowledge but it might not be the Ultimate Truth
Episode 1
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«I prefer lonely supporting characters instead of happy protagonists. Cha Yeowoon is still unhappy. ... - Where are you going? - To see my main (최애). I mean, Cha Yeowoon.»
The word Tae Myungha used to described Cha Yeowoon, as I heard, was actually 최애 (choe-ae). It's a slang that can be translated as "my favourite" and typically is used for K-pop group members, meaning "my bias" (think One True Pairing but One True Person instead). Then, as his fellow classmate gets confused, hearing such word referring to a popular student in their school, Tae Myungha changes to "I mean, Cha Yeowoon", and it works because the word and the name sound similar.
Myungha uses this word because in the intro he stated that Yeowoon is his favourite character in the book out of all. So basically, his first reaction was "- Where are you going? - I'm gonna run to find my blorbo<3", which is so admirable. I'd also get obsessed with making happy my fav side character that was treated unfairly by creators :D
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«Kids like chocolate, right? ... (Yeowoon grabs an icecream, Myungha grabs the same, adding with surprise:) Didn't see that coming. Bi-Bi-Big (비비빅)? You eat like an old man.»
What surprised Myungha there? That Yeowoon chose this icecream->
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It's a traditional icecream that is made out of red beans. This taste is usually associated with older people (because typically kids like sweet things and older people like less sweet/bland tastes), also red beans or read bean paste is used in many traditional desserts in Korea. Yeah, who would've thought that a high schooler would choose this icecream out of all options?
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Later, Myungha gets the message "You can compare Bi-Bi-Big to big Ba-Bum-Bar (another icecream with "old man taste" from chestnuts), why the hell would you eat it?" and gets confused as the message seems missent. I am confused as well, because Myungha wasn't the one choosing this icecream and Yeowoon wasn't typing in his phone. Considering that the phone number is unknown, I can guess that it might be a commentary from the book's author who's watching Myungha playing his story game? Let's figure it out in the next episodes!
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«- You eat like an old man. - Do you play sports? - No. - Weird. You're a whiner like I've always heard. - Kids these days have no manners.»
My quick translation->
«- You eat like an old man. - Sunbae, do you play sports? - No. - Strange. You sound like one of those older jerks (꼰대). - Kids these days have no manners.»
More on the differences between Tae Myungha and Cha Yeowoon:
Myungha tried to poke Yeowoon about his "old man tastes", and Yeowoon called him out for his conservative/stereotypical thinking.
Yeowoon keeps calling Myungha sunbae (because he knows MH's a senior in their school so he must be polite), and Myungha REALLY TALKS LIKE AN OLD MAN to him ("Kids these days" in the subs does translate this style of speech correctly! I'm glad). We all know he's much older before he was thrown into high school times (~25-30yo?), but his words and intonations really make you feel like he's 50-60yo or something xD
Yeowoon doesn't like this at all, though, so he calls Myungha a sort of derogatory term 꼰대 (kkondae), which is used to described old conservative people who are set in their ways and keep nagging and scolding young people for not behaving properly. And, as a runner, he implies that there are senior sportsmen that are hazing or nagging younger sportsmen like this as well, that's who Myungha reminds him of. No wonder the affection stats fell down in the minus zone so hard!
There you go, guys, these are my comments on the first episode of Love for Love's sake! It is filmed so well, I like the idea, and I really enjoyed it (if this one gets really popular just like Semantic Error, we might get more BLs about gamers or gamedevs and I WILL LOVE IT I am so here for it, hehe)
Stay tuned for more as I watch next episodes :]
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cosmicatta · 5 months ago
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One Piece Novel: Law — a short analysis
So, after a long time trying to get my hands on the Law light novel, I was finally able to read it recently! And, because I'm an obnoxiously intense person who can't just be normal about things, I found myself taking notes about everything I judged interesting.
And I thought I could share! So here's a mostly improvised essay about the Law novel, how it portrays Law and what it reveals about him as a character.
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Some notes before I start:
The edition I've read of this novel is the official Spanish translation by Planeta. When quoting and mentioning numbered pages, I'm referencing that edition.
I originally posted this on Twitter as a thread! If it sounds familiar, that might be why.
For those who haven't read the novel and might want to: be mindful of some trigger warnings, including gruesome medical descriptions, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse, and violence in general (I won't be touching on these subjects here though).
These are just my personal impressions, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should interpret the novel or Law's character. I'm just doing this for fun!
The story takes place right after Cora dies, following young Law's journey as he makes it to Swallow Island and desperately tries to survive. There, he will meet Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, as well as Wolf, a novel-exclusive character that welcomes Law and the boys into his home as a family.
Overall, it's a very short read, agile and straightforward. The style is very juvenile, but that was to be expected, and I'd say it does a pretty good job at capturing the feeling of watching a One Piece episode. The novel does kinda feel like a mini arc.
I'm unsure if light novels can be considered 100% canon in general, but since the contents don't contradict anything from what we've already seen in the manga/anime, I'm going to assume we can at least take the events described in this one as canon.
But I'll leave the plot aside a little bit to focus more on Law's psyche, analyzing everything in the novel as material that helps us further understand him.
The entire book (save from a few specific passages) is written from Law's point of view and in first person, so it offers a more in-depth look at his way of thinking, motivations and ideals.
What I find most interesting in this sense is that the whole story is very centered around Law's kindness. Though he does admit several times that he had wanted to see the world burn when he was under Doflamingo's care (as we already know from the source material), the novel makes it very obvious that Law's true nature is compassionate. His inner voice even explicitly states that he enjoys helping and making others happy. (Quotes roughly translated from Spanish):
P. 27: "And I felt very comfortable collaborating with the task of helping others."
P. 92: "Knowing that I was going to free a person from their pain [...] gave me a joy I had never experienced before."
P. 136: "Just imagining the surprised faces of the Old Man, Bepo and the others brought a smile to my face" [when planning on getting fresh fish for dinner as a surprise].
And, despite living under Wolf's motto of "give to take," Law never expects anything in return for any of his good actions. In fact, he gets furious at Wolf himself when, after saving his life, the old man insists on giving Law anything he demands as compensation.
P. 120: "I didn't save you because I wanted a reward!" [...] They [Bepo, Shachi and Penguin] burst into tears of happiness when they realized that you had survived. That's more than enough for me! [...]" I won't let you belittle their tears!"
But even then, Law keeps arguing that he only saved Wolf "on a whim," much like he would say years later when asked why he chose to save Luffy's life. This is a common theme throughout the whole book (which is also pretty obvious in the manga)—Law doesn't recognize his own kindness.
It's not modesty or shyness, his inner monologue makes it very clear that he doesn't see himself as good-natured, and is often confused at his own motivations.
In their first meeting, when Bepo asks him why he is so nice to him, Law doesn't know what to answer; and after that, when Law finds himself wondering why he's trying so hard to save Shachi and Penguin despite their past history, he blames it all on "doctor's pride."
P. 48: "I wasn't even a good person."
Still, regardless of what Law might think of himself, living in Swallow Island seems to be making him progressively gentler. He was wary and hostile towards Wolf at first, but eventually lets himself trust people again, trying to honor Cora's memory and what he taught Law.
In Swallow Island he builds his new found family little by little, though never letting go of Cora and what he meant to Law.
P. 39: "Cora and I were family, that's what I felt at heart, I had no doubts. We had loved each other without saying it out loud [...] Would I feel the same for the Old Man and Bepo eventually?"
Slowly, he starts finding comfort and joy in community. He lets himself be carefree around his new friends, treating them with open affection, laughing and being surprisingly enthusiastic (although he quickly starts taking his role as a leader very seriously, and sometimes avoids showing weakness around them so as not to worry them.)
Law even gets to become an active part of life in Pleasure Town, where he and the other boys are cherished after 3 years living and working there. He's comfortable with his role in the community and appreciates the people in town. His sense of duty towards them shines especially when the pirates arrive to attack the town.
Again, this contrasts with how Law sees himself even in the manga/anime, where he insists that he acts mostly out of selfishness and only seeking his own benefit (or, in the best of cases "on a whim.")
But the truth is that Law's decisions are almost always related to other people's desires.
In this sense, the concept of guilt is also key to understand Law's motivations and his relationship with the world as a whole. This is especially obvious when it comes to Cora—Law even briefly wishes that they had never met, so that Cora would still be alive (p. 128-129.)
In a way, guilt is what moves Law forward, and what slowly starts transforming into a thirst for revenge, into rage and hatred towards Doflamingo and possibly towards himself too. It's a kind of tragic guilt born out of love.
His love for Cora still haunts him, his last wish for Law is the big enigma that he tries to solve during his 3 years in Swallow Island: be free. What is freedom to Law? How can he fulfill Cora's request? This is the question that gives meaning to the novel.
We know that Law wouldn't feel free until finally taking down Doflamingo and avenging Cora's death many years later, but he hasn't reached that point of determination in the novel yet. Maybe that's what gives the narration that hopeful and optimistic tone, with a young Law that's still finding himself, experiencing wonder in loving again, and learning what it means for him to be true to his values. It's the start of an adventure, and its core theme is love.
The ending illustrates this very well; I especially like the moment where Law names the crew as they're setting sail:
P. 243: "Cora's love that he showed me, Wolf's affection, the trust I had in my companions. One word embodied it all: Heart."
It is love that gives Law a reason to keep going. And I'm so glad that the novel doesn't shy away from this fact and isn't afraid of sounding "sappy" or "corny," because I do believe emotion is a very important part of Law's character.
The epilogue closes with a very interesting quote in the last page:
"You hear that, Cora? This is my... This is our pirate crew."
It is unclear if by "our" he is referring to himself and Cora, as if dedicating this new beginning to him, or if he means him and his crew. I'd personally like to think he means it both ways. But in any case, it's interesting that he openly shares the honor of "owning" his crew with someone else. He is the captain, but not the owner. It's another little way in which his generosity is evidenced.
Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and it left me wanting more. Obviously, it's not a literature masterpiece, but it gives a lot of interesting material for character analysis, which is super fun.
Finally, here’s a few fun facts for those who can’t/don’t want to read the novel but enjoy the little trivia:
The Polar Tang was built and designed by Wolf.
Law’s first tattoo was "DEATH," and he got it at a local tattoo shop in Pleasure Town at around 15 years old.
Shachi and Penguin are childhood friends and likely met through their parents.
Shachi had always wanted to be a hair stylist.
Law is bad at cooking.
Both Shachi and Penguin are good at cooking, especially Penguin, who worked as a waiter in Pleasure Town.
The Hearts’ jolly roger was collectively designed by Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin days before leaving Swallow Island.
Law decided the name of their crew upon setting sail for the first time.
And I think that's all! ♥ I hope my rambling was enjoyable at least!
Edit: I've now posted an analysis of the Ace novels too!
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yeostars · 7 months ago
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ᝰ.ᐟ꩜ Down bad, but at what cost?
ʬʬ yeostars 2024™
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•pairing- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ kang yeosang x y/n •genre- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ angst.ᐟ fluff.ᐟ a few bits of slice of life here and there. •synopsis- kang yeosang. your sworn academic rival, your enemy, your nemesis. he's got everything: from outstanding looks, that smart sexy brain of his, and....a perfect personality. well, is it actually perfect? Yeosang, the perfect kang yeosang, who appears to be the politest, nicest, most well mannered gentleman on the outside....what does he hide behind that facade of his? And why does he only show his true colours to you, his sworn enemy? And why.... god forbid why, do you have to fall for him? you, y/n, not anything less than him; you're just as a perfect role model student and an academic topper like him. Together, you would make the perfect "power couple" a title the entire school has given to the both of you. But it's never supposed to be anything like that. You're not supposed to get involved with yeosang in such a way.... he's your rival, and that's it. To hell with this growing attraction towards your rival, but what if, just what if....yeosang feels the same towards you.. You're down bad for kang yeosang.....but at what cost? •warnings- mentions of family conflict, nothing more except for angst/conflicts in some parts. •author's note- I've alwaysss wanted to write a enemies/rivals to lovers story featuring yeosang aka my bias, and seems like I got hold of the perfect plot in mind for the same. To my fellow enemies to lovers enthusiasts and yeodongies, this one is for y'all. !! In one of the ending scenes, there's inspo taken from the English translation of the song lyrics "Kaise Hua" :) pls ignore the typos, i don't proofread and i just realised, while reviewing this fic after posting that i made quite a few typos at the end, sorry for thatt 😭😭 Notes, reblogs, comments, follows & shares are always immensely appreciated <3. Enjoy reading ❤️
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Amidst the soft rustling of the pages and the gentle hum of the ceiling fans, you peeked out of the nearby glass window, suddenly admiring how pretty the trees and clouds looked like. You could've sworn today was a good day indeed. You continued skimming through your mathematics textbook and grabbed your pen to note down a formula you had a hard time understanding the concept of.
And ofcourse, to make your day worse (or better, but you would never admit that) he had to step into the library. Just the perfect timing to get blessed by your presence, kang yeosang.
So much to ask for a normal, peaceful day..
You didn't even look up to see him, or perhaps even acknowledge his presence, when he sat opposite your direction, just a few chairs away. You didn't need to acknowledge his presence. It wasn't like he was your friend, that was your sworn enemy, your academic rival.
He quietly sat down, placing his designer school bag at a chair alongside the one where he was sitting, and placed a textbook on the table, flipping a few pages. Okay, maybe you were staring at him, but he didn't need to know that. You had the ability to stare at someone without them knowing that you were staring at them. That's what you've done all this time, to have a long, good, piercing stare at yeosang, and notice just everything about him. ... without him knowing that you're so interested in him and everything he does.
You didn't know why the tension in the room suddenly seemed...... intense. It was all good a few minutes ago, when you were peacefully studying alone. It's peaceful now, too, ofcourse. Yeosang was, by no means, a loud person. The only noise in the room was that of the ceiling fans, and the soft rustle of the book pages. Just like before.
But now, you were alone in the library halls with your rival. Nothing serious, right? You could get your studying done in a few and leave. No biggie. There was no need to get nervous around him.
But the problem was, that well, you did feel nervous around him. So nervous that your hands started sweating and your grip on the pen you were holding, tightened. And he-kang yeosang, probably doesn't give a single shit. Why would he? He's here to get studying done like you, too, nothing else.
You clicked your tongue, repeatedly clicking your pen without even realising it, as you continued to just stare at the formula you just noted down in your notebook.
Why was it so hard to understand this one? You tried to wrap your head around this formula for quite a few minutes, now, even after yeosang joined you in the library. And you still couldn't understand how to apply this formula in the sum you were supposed to solve. Saying that you were losing your mind right now was a understatement. Maybe you should've paid more attention during maths lecture, but even if you did, you knew that there was still a possibility that you would have a hard time with it.
Because, really, mathematics just wasn't your cup of tea.
"What could possibly be a subject that has you loosing your absolute shit, y/n?" You heard a voice, loud and clear, and you almost wished you didn't have the ability to hear.
Because you knew where this was going.
"Ah, ofcourse - it's mathematics. The only subject that my beloved rival can't beat me in." Yeosang said, chuckling softly.
You raised your head, now making direct eye contact him, and ofcourse, he had his usual smirk plastered on that perfect freaking face.
He looked.....just as perfect as always. You hated to admit it but yeosang was definitely the most good-looking guy you had ever seen in your life. A "literal greek god" "a living statue" were the names given to him by the entire school- and you couldn't disagree.
He raised an eyebrow as you realised that you were mindlessly staring at the collar of his shirt, and your cheeks immediately flushed, as you moved your gaze back to your books.
"S-shut up, yeosang." You replied. Those two words, "shut up" are probably the only words that you say to yeosang. And it has him smirking even wider, every time.
"Aw, c'mon, I bet you need my help with whatever sum you're stuck with, right there." He said, trying to get a better look at your notebook from where he was sitting. But it didn't help much because he was kinda far away from you.
He was correct, you did need his help. Kang yeosang, the straight A's student in every subject including mathematics, your weakest spot. You got A's in mathematics, too, but not always. The "B" grade on your result sheet alongside mathamatics was getting quite common in the past years, and it never failed to ruin you.
But you weren't going to take his help. No, never. You would walk a thousand miles at the doorstep of your cranky mathamatics professor and ask for his help, but asking Yeosang for helping you? Not possible. You both never asked the latter for any help in a subject before. If yeosang did help you in solving your doubt, it would definitely be the first time he's ever helped you. You would get to know how your rival grasps a particular concept and how he tutors someone.... and you were dying to know this.
"I AM struggling with a concept here, but I don't need your help. I'm sure I'll get it soon if I connect some dots." You replied, almost talking to yourself. Liar. This shitty formula was getting over your head and there was no way you'd understand it by yourself now.
Yeosang scowled, suddenly got up from his seat and walked towards you. Your heartbeat, your stupid heartbeat quickened, as he stood alongside where you were sitting, resting his hand against your textbook. After a quick glance at your books, he looked at you.
"Don't tell me you're struggling with THIS formula. It was literally just taught to us, like last week." He said, and the fact that he was so close to you right now, his words made even more impact. Stupid, stupid girl. He was right. You should'nt be struggling with a formula that was just recently taught to you.
Everyone has their own weaknesses, right? Maths was yours, obviously. But it was bitter to admit that in front of kang yeosang, the so called mathamatics genius.
"So what? If you're just gonna tease me on this, leave. I'll ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, he'll explain me better than you will." You replied coldly, a small pout forming on your lips, as you still stared at the books in front of you, not daring to look at yeosang.
"Well, good for you, I'm here instead. Perhaps i could waste a few minutes of mine teaching you this." He said, smirking yet again.
"I TOLD you I will ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, no thanks-"
"So are you stuck on how to use this formula in this sum or you didn't even get the basic understanding of this formula?" Yeosang asked, not even letting you finish your sentence, as he pulled out the chair alongside yours and sat besides you.
Well, you guess, you didn't really have a choice now.
"I just don't get how you apply this formula to a sum, like this example, stated right here...." You said, pointing towards a section in your textbook. Yeosang leaned in closer, listening to you carefully, and you could've sworn your heart was about to burst right then and there. He was leaning in to get a better look at your textbook and not leaning TOWARDS YOU, y/n. Get that inside your head.
"Hmm. Got it. So basically, you...." Yeosang started, and somehow, his voice was gentler as he started explaining the concept to you. It always baffled you how yeosang maintained his two-faced personality. Not in a negative way, really. But that was just one of the many things you noticed about him.
He always acted so polite, so gentle, so kind and appeared so well mannered with everyone. You never even saw him teasing someone playfully. He acted so unlike all the other rowdy boys in your school....It was like he somehow has some reputation to uphold.
And here, with you, the same kang yeosang that appeared as the kindest, most innocent soul- never missed an opportunity to tease you. The unending smirks plastered on his face on your every interaction with him, the unending banters on every possible topic, the unending teasing when you got even ONE mark less than him on a test, the unending playfulness whenever he was with you.
You don't even know when it all started, the fact that yeosang treated you differently. You weren't even sure if that was his true personality. You wanted to very badly, believe that it was. It had to be, right? Somehow it felt like he revealed his true colours to you, every time you guys shared a moment together.
"And that's how you do it. Common, solve a sum in front of me. I want to see if you understood what I just explained." He said, and you brought yourself back to reality. Oh, right. The freaking formula. So bossy, you thought. Why did you have to solve the sum in his presence? It wasn't like this was a test or that he was your tutor.
You complied, regardless, because well, he surely did help you for this one. You picked up your pen and started solving the sum according to that formula, all while yeosang had his gaze fixated on you solving the sum.
Fuck, if he's gonna stare at me like that, I might as well go to square one wherein i didn't understand a single thing.
You were nervous about making even a single mistake or appearing dumb in front of him. You continued solving, his explanation ringing in your head and voilà, you reached the conclusion. YOU SOLVED THE FREAKING SUM AND UNDERSTOOD THAT FORMULA!!!
You gaped at the notebook in front of you, not believing that you actually did it. You looked at yeosang and couldn't help but notice the small smile playing on his lips, almost as if he's proud.
"Thanks a lot....yeosang. That saved me lots of headaches, to be honest." He really was your lifesaver that day.
"Anytime. If rivals don't help each other, then who will?" He said, a genuine smile on his face. Witnessing that smile made your heart flutter. Damn, he looked good when he was genuinely smiling. He also looked hot when he's smirked every time. Fuck, he looked attractive all the time, and you should NOT be acknowledging or admitting that fact.
"Did you.....just replace friends with rivals in that phrase?" You said, laughing. You couldn't believe this man.
"Yeah, so what? We're rivals, after all, aren't we?" Yeosang replied, amused by the fact that he made you laugh.
"That's true. Think about it, this might be the very first time I've ever thanked you for something...you haven't really done something that's worth me thanking you." You said, and suddenly the air between the both of you felt.... lighter. Free of some sort of tension that was always there between the both of you. It was almost as if the both of you were friends, instead of rivals, having your casual banters..
"well, be grateful for that, i guess? You owe me one for today, by the way." He said, his tone a little manipulative. Well, here we're back to the original kang yeosang, you thought.
"Sure, if you need some sorta help regarding science, hit me up, although I doubt you that you will." You said, and immediately regretted the last words.
You basically admitted that you think he's a genius.
"And why do you think I won't need your help in science? That's the only subject that you're.....kinda....good at. And better than me, I guess." He admitted, sheepishly running his palms across the back of his neck.
"Yeah well, just because. If you do need some help with that though, don't hesitate to ask me, I'd be happy to teach my...rival. to return your favour, ofcourse." You said, closing all your books and packing then in your bag. Yeosang hummed at your words, getting up and returning to his original seat, as he tried to get back at what he was studying, not questioning the fact that you were already leaving.
You spared him one last glance as you exited the library, scrolling through your phone, totally not trying to think about how today's events with yeosang had your stomach swooning.
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Another boring day at school. Currently, it was the third lecture and the history professor was late.....yet again. As you spinned the pen on your hand mindlessly, you thought about what menu would be served at the cafeteria today. Yesterday, it was something you didn't quite like much. You kept manifesting in your mind that they serve your favourite, katsu curry today.
Your boredom and mindless spacing came to an halt as the class intercom cackled to life. The usual "mic check" continued for the first few seconds, and all the students of your class suddenly stopped what they were doing, only to listen to the announcement that was to be made.
You straightened up, and didn't really bother listening unless you heard your name being called out on the intercom speakers. your name. along with kang yeosang's name. the actual hell?!?!
"Dear students, attention please. This is urgent. Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately. I repeat, Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately."
You opened your eyes wide, and you almost didn't believe your ears and the announcement, until you saw all your classmates staring at you....and yeosang, curious gazes and gossips spreading everywhere. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, and cocked your head back to the seats behind to see yeosang, who seemed just as confused as you were.
He met your eyes, as you both shared a bewildered look together. As he rose from his seat, agonizingly slowly, you did the same, following him outside your classroom.
"Surely I didn't do anything that's worth getting detention? Have you, y/n?" Yeosang asked, as casually as possible. As if the fact that the both of them were called together, alone, to the main halls was nothing surprising to him.
And here, you were trying to catch your breath, thinking of all possibilities as to WHY you, along with yeosang- your academic rival of all people, were called together, an announcement that was heard by the entire school.
"Ofcourse i didn't. For your information, I'm a role model student, and didn't even receive a single scolding by any teachers in my entire life- let alone a detention." You huffed, cursing mentally at yeosang for even thinking of you doing something worth of getting detention.
"So am i, smartass. Well then, since we're both the goodie two shoes, WHAT possibly could've been so urgent that they called the both of us...together?" Yeosang asked, sparing you a quick glance as the both of you continued to walk side by side, on your way to the main hall.
"How in the world would i know? I'm just as clueless as you. Why would they even need the both of us at the same time?" You asked, shrugging. At the shrug, you kinda gave off the impression that you didn't like....all this. The fact that you were summoned along with your dear rival. But that wasn't true in the slightest. More than anything, you craved to be together with yeosang, you treasured each moment you were together, nowadays. Even though it wasn't often.
You tend to ignore asking yourself, why do you even feel this way. Perhaps since the both of you aren't really together all the time, except for insulting each other, your playful banters and teasing from time to time, you actually looked forward to just...being with him. Being in his presence. Him giving you attention. Even though it was literally just him teasing the hell outta you and giving you the cold shoulder sometimes (you did too).
Maybe, just maybe, yeosang felt the same- enjoying all the time you both spent together, even though it wasn't much. Why would he even tease you in the first place if he didn't? You remember, something your mum used to say during your childhood: the people who tease you, and pretend to hate you, actually like you, because they want your attention.
Oh, how badly you wanted to believe your mom's words.
"Are you getting inside the lift or...?" Yeosang said, pressing a button to widen the lift doors as they were just about to close. You snapped out of your overthinking, your overthinking about the fact that every single word you say or the action that you do- affects yeosang- kang yeosang in some way.
"Oh, shoot. Sorry." You said sheepishly, getting alongside Yeosang in the lift.
As you both reached the main hall, you were greeted by your school's vice principal and your homeroom teacher, almost as if waiting for the both of you to arrive. As you and yeosang bowed down to greet them, they exchanged quick glances with each other, and then led the both of you near the tables at the far away corner of the hall.
The vice principal sat down in one of the chairs, and your homeroom teacher stood alongside the both of you.
"So. I know this might seem surprising because we called the both of you together, but trust me, this isn't anything serious or negative. So stop with those nervous glances because you both are the best disciplined students of our grade, and you know it." Your homeroom teacher, Mr. Jung, assured the both of you, as relief spread through your veins. You could even feel yeosang sighing in relief besides you.
"Mr. Jung, why were the both of us called here, then...?" You asked, your tone inquisitive.
"I'll let you know the reason, students." Said your vice principal, Mrs. Park. All three of you shifted your attention and gazes towards her as she started speaking.
"As you both are already aware, our school has decided to redesign the uniforms for the entire school, ranging from all grades. And well, we got to have our first glance at the finalized, redesigned uniforms last week, and they look amazing. We decided to choose you, y/n, and yeosang, as the models for our new school uniform photoshoot. Basically, you both have to wear and promote the redesigned uniforms and pose together for a little shoot. That's it."
Your hands immediately cupped your mouth, and your eyes widened not believing that you were chosen as a MODEL for your school. ALONG with your rival.
Yeosang let out a soft chuckle, and you realised that he was laughing at your shocked expression.
"May I know why you chose the both of us as models....and not someone else?" Yeosang inquired, now appearing quite bewildered at the situation of being chosen as a model himself.
The both of us. Not just him. He really asked why they chose the both of you as models.
"Ah, well, I won't say that the fact that both of you are the top students not only on academics but also as general role model students didn't tempt me to choose the both of you, but what can I say... you both have extremely good looks. And good body proportions. That's why I thought that the the both of you were the most ideal students for the shoot." Mrs. Park said, a small, appreciative smile on her face.
You blushed immediately at her words. The fact that the VICE PRINCIPAL just admitted that you have extremely good looks and good body proportions... you felt like you were on cloud nine.
"Thank you, ma'am" The both of you said, yes, you actually said "thank you" at the same time with yeosang.
"The pleasure's all mine." She said.
"Well then, the shoot was actually going to take place tomorrow but the photographer checked in with us, and said that today was a ideal day to get the shoot done, as long the models are ready. What do you both think? We'll provide you with the new school uniforms so you can get changed into them and get some light makeup done." Mr. Jung said, quite enthusiastically. Your teacher, your teacher who is probably 35 years older than you, acted quite cute sometimes.
TODAY. PHOTOSHOOT. YEOSANG. WHAT??
As you tried to register the fact that the photoshoot was taking place TODAY, and the fact that you were chosen as a model with yeosang.....
"Also, don't worry about missing the lectures. Like, at all. We'll let all the teachers know that the both of you are occupied with this schedule today." Mr. Jung added, catching the slight expression of worry on your faces.
"Oh, okay. T-thats great. Thank you, Mr. Jung. I think I'm ready to get the shoot done today." You replied, mustering up all your courage. You weren't going to let this opportunity go to waste. Why would you, even? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hell, you couldn't even believe that there would be a photoshoot of you and yeosang together. Just the both of you. You felt like you were dreaming, for real.
After your response, yeosang also assured the both of them, saying that he was also ready for the shoot taking place today.
well, of course you are ready, kang yeosang. you wouldn't imagine any other response from him, like him saying no for the photoshoot with you. You had some pride of your own, and you'd protect it...
.
You stepped into the small makeup room backstage of the main hall, immediately walking towards the giant body mirror to check yourself and your new school uniform out. Damn, the new uniform sure did look better than the current uniform that you were wearing. It seemed like a levelled-up version of your school uniform; it consisted of a tailored navy blazer with gold patterns along the edges, adding an overall touch of elegance. Beneath the blazer, you wore a neat, ironed white collared shirt, and a navy blue skirt tucked the shirt perfectly. A notable feature was the gold emblem of your school icon, printed at the edge of your skirt and on the socks you were wearing. Your shiny black boots added a classic touch to your outfit. You looked quite sophisticated and youthful, the exact concept you were going for the photoshoot.
As you sat down on one of the chairs in front of a mirror, a lady, already waiting for your arrival in the room, asked you about which hairstyle you would like to get done. You requested her to do something neat yet mildly fancy, keeping your hair open. As she was working on your hair, the door opened wider, and Yeosang stepped in, looking..... even better than usual. Just when you thought this guy couldn't look any more attractive than he already is.....
You noticed that he was wearing a navy blue blazer just like yours, his crisp, white ironed shirt pleated and tucked in his perfectly ironed trousers. And of course, his hair was styled just right. like always. You hated to admit it but he looked more handsome than usual...
You noticed every single detail of his appearance in less than a few seconds. Hell, who would want their rival to know that they're checking them out?
After checking himself out in the mirror, his hand never left the pocket of his trousers, even as he sat down on a chair alongside yours. Arrogant as always, you thought. But he immediately removed that hand as another lady entered the room, asking Yeosang about his hairstyle. He looked so polite while explaining to her what exactly he wanted, you thought that he just wanted to piss you off half of the time. And then go back to his gentlemanly appearance when you both weren't alone. what a guy.
You were a little too bothered about the fact that yeosang was seated right besides you. and the fact that you were pretty close to each other. AND the fact that you both could see each other in the side mirror in front of you.
And guess what? You did. Just as you looked up in the mirror to check the progress of your hairstyle, you noticed that Yeosang was also checking himself out. His eyes met yours in the mirror, and you could have sworn he smirked a little as he checked you out for a second. You immediately looked away, but you could feel it in your bones, the fact that Yeosang didn't look away like you did. His gaze was burning, burning holes into your skin. You felt exposed in some manner. God, he was literally just staring at you and that made you loose your absolute shit.
Very soon, you both were done with your final look for the photoshoot. You were thankful that it didn't take any longer, or else you were just a shot away from calling in sick for the photoshoot. Yeosang staring at you was to be blamed for that.
As you both entered the room designated for your school uniform photoshoot, you stepped aside for a minute to call your mom and let her know about this precious opportunity. You were quite surprised when she said that she already knew that you were chosen for the photoshoot... even before than you came to know about it. She asked you to do well and pose some pretty poses with yeosang, and murmured a soft "hwaiting" as you thanked her and ended the call.
As you stepped into the middle of the room, where you were supposed to be seated alongside yeosang on the giant sofa and standing alongside him for the other. The photographer greeted the both of you and instructed a few poses. You carefully listened to his recommendations, and so did yeosang; adjusting his posture. This moment suddenly felt surreal to you. You tilted your head slightly and glanced at yeosang, and you would have never believed before if someone told you that you were gonna do a photoshoot together.
But here you were, the bright ceiling lights flashing over you, your beloved rival standing right beside you. You snapped out of your thoughts and gasped internally when yeosang shifted closer towards you. Well, it's not like he did that by his own will. The photographer insisted you shift closer to him, too, and you awkwardly did, and now your shoulders were brushing together. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and you couldn't deny the effect it had on you. You glanced up at him for a second and realised how you were almost the same height as him. So, if he were to hug you from behind, his head would be touching yours. WHAT??? CHOI Y/N, SNAP OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW.
He stared right back at you, and it felt like the world around you had disappeared.... just the both of you in your own little bubble, exchanges of gazes filled with tension and lust and whatnot. As rivals, of course, you were competing in this aspect too- competing of who was going to look away first, because neither of you was backing down from this. The photographer let out a whistle and the both of you broke your eye contact, your gazes now directly at the camera. You could feel his flushed face besides yours...
The photoshoot progressed smoothly, and the photographer was quite pleased with the results. For the very last pose as the photo shoot came to an end, the photographer insisted that you place your elbow against Yeosang's shoulder, adding that it would make you look powerful. You hesitated for a second as you turned your head to look at Yeosang, staring at that gorgeous Adam's apple down his throat. Fuck, was he actually feeling nervous? Just like you? The arrogant, teasing, playful, confident Kang Yeosang that you knew, felt nervous around you for the first time....
You quickly placed your elbow against yeosang's shoulder, as he leaned down a little to support your movement, and you felt your heart beat impeccably faster. Then, both of you fixated your fierce and confident gazes towards the camera, as the bright flash passed your eyes and all the people present in the room started applauding, praising the both of you. That was when you realised, how you and Yeosang were the pride of your school, how you were chosen for this photoshoot together. How the entire school regarded you as the "power duo" or the "power couple", and how that never failed to get you blushing uncontrollably. You wondered how Yeosang felt about that, about al this. Did it affect him just as much as it did to you?
You caught your breath that seemed to be stuck in your throat, as you shifted away from Yeosang, a little breathless. It wasn't like you both had kissed, goddammit, that it has to affect every cell in your body when he was even an inch close to you.
You cracked your knuckles, meeting Yeosang's eyes yet again, as he passed you a small smile. Of course, the smile had to be replaced by a smirk in less than a second because he was with you, after all. He walked closer to you, extending his hand towards you.
"Good job today, rival. I hate to admit it, but i guess we both had quite the.... chemistry, during the photo shoot. Which is UNEXPECTED, since it's the both of us. But yeah, all this today was....nice. Hope we can tolerate each other just like this in the future."
You huffed, passing him the same smile he had flashed you earlier, and gently shook his hand. electricity. you felt yourself shiver internally as your hand touched his. You wanted to pull back but just for an extra second, you felt Yeosang not letting go. As he pulled back, though- your palm still lingered with his touch.
"Good job to you too, rival. I can't believe that we just spent almost an hour together, without not insulting or teasing each other. I guess, we got along well today, too." You teased. Yeosang let out a sarcastic laugh, as the both of you parted ways, an eventful day coming to an..end.
Your photoshoot today with Yeosang sure as hell was going to be imprinted in your mind, your body, and your soul. The atmosphere filled with tension, the never-ending shared glances towards each other filled with lust and dare you say, desire, marked a new chapter into whatever your relationship was. The universe was almost begging the both of you to acknowledge the attraction both of you had towards each other.
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Every day, Song Jia always had to be the one pushing your buttons. That girl, your best friend, ALWAYS had to make you more delusional than you already were. Half of the time, even though you knew you where physically attracted to yeosang (even you couldn't deny that) you felt like Jia helped you bring your fantasies come to life. For instance , she always left you alone whenever she saw yeosang making his way towards you- either for teasing you or insulting you, something like that. Your jaw almost fell open when you saw that girl run at the speed of light after passing you a smirk, telling you to go "shoot your shot"
And you didn't know if you wanted to thank her and hug her for that or kick her ass for that....
Like always, she had her arm linked around yours, the both of you staring at the photoshoot pictures with yeosang, that your homeroom teacher mailed you. You both were making your way to the music room, and that girl just would'nt stop hitting your arm with their other hand, grinning cheekily after literally gluing her eyes to your phone screen, observing every little detail.
"Damn y/n, this has the be the biggest shot you've ever shooted in your life.. You get what I mean, right? Can you even imagine that you'd have official photoshoots, with your dear rival that you're secretly head over heels for?!" She said, smirking a little.
"C'mon now, don't put it like that. I'm not head over heels for him. Just a little.... attracted, to him, I guess. Still not a fan of that arrogant ass of his, though." You huffed.
And she practically SQUEALED, no exaggeration, after seeing the very last photoshoot picture, your elbow resting on yeosang's shoulder, your gazes looking quite fierceful and confident towards the camera. You couldn't help but blush, smiling at how perfect that picture was.
"Attagirl!!! That's my y/n. Look at how you both are literally the POWER COUPLE of the school. Start dating already, you know." She said, and slapped her arm lightly, as she let out a fake "owww"
You were walking on the large staircase leading you to the fourth floor, where the music room was. You slipped your phone inside your skirt pocket, your arm still linked with Jia's.
As you were walking further downstairs, you spotted a familiar head ahead you. You could recognise that guy anywhere, no matter what angle of his was facing you.
Kang yeosang, holding up his phone, quite concentrated on whatever he was seeing on his phone screen, while making his way downstairs as well.
Suddenly, a red haired girl bumped into yeosang from behind. Quite a painful bump, you thought, but then you noticed that she was about to have an awful fall down the stairs if she didn't pull herself together.
Ofcourse, she didn't fall. Not really. How would she, when a gentleman in the form of yeosang, was there?
It was as if yeosang's reflexes clicked in, he immediately wrapped his strong arms around that redhead's back, steadying her and preventing her from falling. He didn't let go, his arms still on her shoulder as that girl turned behind to look at him, an apologetic and embarrassed look on her face.
And obviously, concern and worry had to be spread on your rivals face, as he seemed to be inquiring her if she was alright, his voice as polite and calm and sweet, a voice you would have never expected him to pull off if he was talking to you. And his arms were still on her shoulder. You glared at that arm so strongly, it was as if holes would have burned on his skin.
They seemed to be chatting for a good few minutes, passing smiles and chatting with each other. All this time, you seemed to be froze in your place, right while standing halfway through the stairs. And Jia, ofcourse, was still with you, glancing at you and biting her lips, passing you and apologetic look, knowing how witnessing this made you feel.
An obvious pang of jealousy coursed through your veins, as you witnessed the scene unfold after you. You glared at the both of them, not just yeosang, with such intensity, if someone would have looked at you, they would've thought you were gonna pick up a fight for sure.
What even was this feeling? Jealousy? Seriously, you never felt jealous of or for anyone in your life before....and you were obviously feeling jealous..for whom? Yeosang? Your rival? You narrowed your eyes down towards the floor and sighed, pulling Jia along with you, as you marched towards the music room.
During the entire music lecture, you couldn't concentrate on anything going on in the class. It was as if you were sorting your feelings out, and waves of embarrassment and confusion washed over you. You were a foolish, stupid girl. Say, what right did you even have, to feel jealous ? You weren't even dating yeosang or anything, hell, you were his sworn rival. Who feels this way towards their rival? No one. Only you.
To make things even worse, you were out here, imagining what it would be like if you were in that redheads place. What it would be like if it was you who was almost about to fall, and how your heart would've belated out of your chest, goosebumps forming on your skin when yeosang would have wrapped those strong arms around you, asking if you were okay in that sweet, polite voice.
Maybe, you wanted yeosang to treat you that way too. By no means, were you his close friend or anything, but sometimes you wished that he treated you that gently, too.
You wondered how it would be like to get THE kang yeosang worrying about you and giving you all his attention, passing you soft and gentle smiles of reassurance.
And yet, you knew this was never going to happen. Snap out of your thoughts, stupid girl.
The music lecture continued and ended in no time, as the bittersweet realization about your true feelings about yeosang washed over you, and how utterly foolish you were to fall so hard, so deep for your rival, out of all people.
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You remember the first time you found Kang Yeosang attractive. The first time you realised that you, y/n, found your sworn academic rival physically attractive. And also the first time you realised how utterly stupid you were, how you were going to regret all this because yeosang, on the other hand, probably didn't even give a shit about you except for the times he liked to push your buttons and piss you off.
It was during the inter-school debate competition that took place a few months ago. You and Yeosang had been chosen as partners, as a duo, as your school's representatives for the battle. That was actually the first time and the longest time you two had been together, in each other's company. You were not really panicking about being in yeosang's company at that time, because back then you weren't actually attracted to him like you were, in the present. More than anything, you were a little pissed, a little bothered, and quite nervous about having your rival as your partner. You knew you would have to get along with him during the competition and that if you exposed your stupidity for even a second or messed things up, Yeosang would sure as hell tease you and blame everything negative on you.
So, the trickiest part about the competition was that it was an on-the-spot debate battle. This meant that you could try and prepare all you wanted with your partner, but it wouldn't really be of any good because the topics were to be chosen on the spot, and you were supposed to give the fiercest debate against your opponent on the spot along with your partner. But you weren't really worrying about this much. Because both you and yeosang were the most stubborn people to exist on earth, with words so sharp and powerful, just like that of an accomplished lawyer. Once you both even opened your mouth to refute, your opponent would beg the judges to put an end to the debate and announce you both as the winners. And that's what had actually happened, but not exactly:
The debate had been going pretty well, you and yeosang actually tolerated each other for once and in fact, were working very well together. Every time you added a new point to the topic, Yeosang supported it with additions of his own and acted as your back support. You did the same for him, of course. Your opponents were flustered with how good both of you were and how powerful your arguments were, they almost gave up and you both could sense it, by the way their arguments became so weak at the end. Just when the both of you were going to win the final debate (you had already won the semi-finals with flying colors), something infuriating had to happen, that acted as a barrier to you both winning the final match.
The atmosphere shifted perceptibly as the principal of the opposing school was seen having a hushed, yet visibly intense, conversation with one of the judges. The judge's responses and reactions to you and yeosang appeared unusually reserved, suddenly cheering for the opposing team when they hadn't before, all this time. You and yeosang, of course, noticed this change and were equally confused.
As the final rebuttal concluded, you glanced at yeosang seated beside you, studying every feature and expression on his face at that moment: his jaw was clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek as he practically glared every time the principal of the opposing team spoke with the judges. His eyes, which usually appeared all lively and soft and polite, were now narrowed into slits of sheer anger. His nostrils flared slightly and his lips narrowed into a thin line, both his hands turned into fists, supporting his chin as they rested on the table. As you caught this rare, unguarded display of emotion from your rival, an unexpected surge of attraction bubbled within you. This had to be the worst time possible for you to be feeling physically attracted to your rival, and of course, you were also very pissed off at the ongoing situation.
You just couldn't help but find him hot, during that time. You had never even batted an eye against yeosang before and here you were, deeply simping for the guy beside you. You wondered, how turned on you would be, if it was you that did something to piss yeosang off, and if he pinned you against the wall and kissed yo-
You could slap yourself in your face for such thoughts. The judges finally announced the results, favouring the opposing team and the audience suddenly felt pity for your team, passing murmurs in disbelief. Yeosang's face stiffened, as he turned to face you, his anger clearly visible. Throughout the debate, he had subtly steered the tougher questions towards himself, (even when he didn't need to) shielding you from the more aggressive tactics of your opponents. You felt your heart flutter at such moments, admiring and feeling gratitude towards yeosang despite him being your rival in reality.
You passed him a soft smile of reassurance, despite you feeling defeated and equally pissed inside.
"We know that we were the better team today, Yeosang. I know we should have won the finals. Well, nothing much we can do now, is it?" You said, your small smile turning into that of a self pity smile.
"I know. I-Its just not fair, y/n. I feel more angered rather than defeated right now- i don't want to give up, even if the results are announced." Yeosang replied, his expression returning to normal after chatting with you.
"I don't want to give up too, you know. If we decide to speak up right now, would anyone even believe us? And what if the judges actually found Sarah and Kyungsoo's debate better than ours? We can't be sure about that." You said, sighing deeply. Yeosang sighed along with you, looking as if the storm within him hadn't resolved.
Yet, he chose to do whatever you were willing to do: which was, just accepting the results. You both had won second place anyway, and you were satisfied with that. You both didn't really talk about the debate competition after that day. But you both had let each other know, that day, that you were proud of yourselves and each other for doing your best in that debate.
Something changed that day, about your relationship, your dynamics with Yeosang. It was after that day you noticed yeosang showing his true colors to you, the way he clearly loosened up when he was with you, the way he playfully teased and insulted you, it was something he didn't do before. You like to think of that period as the one where you started getting closer to him, something beyond your mere rivals or enemies dynamic.
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The library was bathed with soft glow of the moonlight, air heavy with the scent of old books. Just as you tossed the keys from the drawer of the main table and put it in your pocket, you remembered that you weren't the only one present in the library at this time.
Instead of heading for the main door to leave, you chose to head inside and obviously, caught sight of a man slumped up on the table, his hands folded, supporting his head as he slept or atleast, pretended to sleep.
It was none other than your rival, Yeosang. You've been noticing this since the past few days. Yeosang would stay late, at hours after 8 pm, into the library and just would'nt go home. Even today, you turned around and glanced at the huge clock and checked the time even on your smartwatch. 8.05 pm.
That was your cue to leave, after seeing the time and when the clock striked 8.00 pm because it was too late to stay outside home. And yeosang should also be heading home and do whatever he wanted to do at his home instead of the library. You were appointed as the co-manager of the library and had to lock the gates up as you left. You had figured that the librarian had possibly given yeosang and extra key to lock up and leave, since otherwise you were the only one who had access to the keys.
You were about to leave, but you weren't going to ignore this today. You approached yeosang cautiously.
"Yeosang." You called out, your voice firm.
He didn't wake up to acknowledge you. You called out again, this time mentioning his full name.
"Kang Yeosang." You said, your voice now louder and firmer.
Yeosang looked up at you now, exhaustion etched into his features. You could tell that he wasn't really sleeping but well, wanted to sleep.
"What?" He asked, maintaining eye contact with you, looking at you as if you had disturbed his precious quality sleep.
"What are you still doing here? It's pretty late. Head home or something, dude." You said, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"None of your business, y/n. I'll go when I want to." He deadpanned, his posture still a little bent as if he was going back to sleep on the desk yet again and waiting for you to leave.
"It is my business, actually. Look- I'm not trying to sound worried or something, but I've noticed since the past 3 days you're staying at such ungodly hours at the library and won't head home, when you're supposed to. If you didn't already know, I'm the co-manager of this library and have to lock the gates up. And for that, I need you to leave." You said, folding your arms, waiting for his next rebuttal.
"Don't worry about all that. I- the librarian gave me an extra set of keys so I'll lock the gates and everything carefully before I leave. You're free to go home." He said, his expression quite flustered now, upon hearing that you've been noticing his peculiar behaviour since the past few days.
"And what excuse did you give to the librarian? I bet she questioned you for asking for those extra set of keys." You inquired, leaning against one of the book shelves now, still maintaing eye contact with yeosang across the room.
"Uhh, I just told her that there's some...distraction at my house. Like, a really loud atmosphere that's not ideal for me to study." He said, despite knowing that you weren't buying this shit and straightened his position, sitting properly on his chair.
"Seriously, Yeosang? Do you mind telling me why are you even staying so late here? Did you parents disown you or kick you out, something?" You asked, letting out a laugh in disbelief.
"....which i suspect isn't true, because of course, you're the star of your family, your parents only child that can do no wrong and is their only pride." You continued, after noticing that Yeosang didn't reply just yet.
He let out a deep sigh, breaking eye contact with you. "Listen, why do you even care? Are you up for listening to my pity party story?" Yeosang said, staring outside the window.
"Why do I care? I don't know, I just thought we were atleast friends now? And ofcourse, I'm up for listening to you, I'm kinda bored anyways." You replied, still staring at him.
Just before yeosang could open his mouth to say something, you dashed to where he was, and pulled up a chair right besides him and sat there. It wasn't too close to him, but just close enough to listen properly to him, indicating that you genuinely wanted to hear him out.
"Well, I don't know where to start." He said, facing you. You stared right into those deep brown eyes, almost like pools of warm melted chocolate, glistening under the faint moonlight coming from the windows. Of course, his long, dark lashes above those mesmerizing orbs were even prettier, drawing you impossibly closer to him. Every time he opened his mouth to spoke, you noticed every feature of his face and were astonished every time: his well defined jawline, those high cheekbones, straight nose, those sharp collarbones revealed just slightly from his plain white shirt, and that perfectly symmetrical face.
It was unfair to be this freaking handsome, you thought. Yeosang would be flourishing if he decided to be a model. What was even lacking in this guy? Perfect body proportions, perfect face, perfect personality, perfect grades, and that smart sexy brain of his. And this perfect guy aka your rival was talking with you right now. Insane, you thought.
"Just, start anywhere. I'm willing to listen, you know." You assured him.
"For the main idea, it's my parents. Just some major issues with them." He said, sighing once again.
"What kind of issues?" You asked, your eyes now softening. It felt like he was opening to you and you wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible.
"They just, you know, want and expect and force me to become a doctor. Follow their footsteps. And it's clearly not what I want." Yeosang said, sounding frustrated.
You understood how frustrating this must be. By the next year, you both being the name age, were supposed to choose your majors and study accordingly to pursue your degree. And ofcourse this decision is crucial because it will determine you career. And if yeosang is having issues regarding this with his parents... it's pretty serious.
"They clearly know that's not what I want and still choose to push my buttons. I want to be a mathematician. My undying love for maths, just, even you know it, don't you, y/n?" He continued, locking his eyes with yours.
"Ah, definitely. I know better than anyone how much you love Math. And all this time, while i was curious as to which career you would choose, i definitely thought it's something related to maths. It had to be." You said , passing him a small smile. He reciprocated your smile after hearing your words.
You continued to listen intently to Yeosang as he poured out his frustration in your conversation. You tried your best to relate with him and comfort him. There won't be any other chance where I'll get to listen to yeosang's concerns and comfort him, you thought, so I better make the most out of this.
"So, what now? I understand that you're still having disagreements with them on this topic, but I'm sure they're very worried about you staying so late outside, you know. You should head home earlier from today, and, i don't know, talk to them. Properly this time. You can't keep running away." You replied, hesitating to do what you were about to do next, but you did it anyways. You placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would comfort him. You felt like you had the right to do atleast that much, after how yeosang ranted about his family conflict to you and how you patiently listened to him.
You could feel yeosang stiffening a little under your touch for just a second, before he relaxed and held onto the same hand that was on his shoulder with his, rubbing soft circles on your hand.
You felt like your heart was about to burst, right now. Every cell of your body had to be so immensely affected whenever Kang Yeosang did something as subtle as holding your hand and rubbing circles on it.
"Thank you for today, y/n. Seriously. It felt so.... different from our usual encounters. You know, were either teasing or insulting each other half of the time. This was...great. I guess we can consider each other as frenemies now? We're still rivals though, mind you." He said, chuckling lightly. You felt your heart melt at that chuckle. This, is exactly what you wanted from him. You wanted him to soften up a little when he was with you.
You lightly let go of his hand still holding yours, or else you were sure you were going to melt right then and there. You passed him a small smile and were about to say something, but Yeosang interrupted you.
"Ah, and also, do you know that Wooyoung and Jia are apparently dating now?" He said, looking at you.
You suddenly froze at his words. WHAT THE HELL????
"WHAT??? I mean, how, when? I knew Jia had a crush on Wooyoung since like forever and she told me all about it. I had NO IDEA that they were dating, though. And she DIDN'T TELL ME. Since when are they dating?" You asked, looking quite pissed. You couldn't believe that you were hearing about your best friend dating for the first time from your rival instead of her.
"Uhm, like since a week, maybe? Why do you sound so surprised tho? I thought you already knew, didn't Jia tell you?" Yeosang said, trying to hold back his laughter at your pissed face.
"No, she didn't. I am going to end her for that. And let me guess, Wooyoung already told you?" You asked. Wooyoung was Yeosang's best friend. They were always seen together and were really close.
"Yeah, he did. Pretty ironic, isn't it? Both our best friends are dating each other." Yeosang said, finding this situation pretty amusing. You did, too, to be honest.
"I know, right. The next time we all hang out together, we're gonna be third wheeling the both of them and that's gonna suck big time." You replied, sighing, but feeling happy for your best friend at the same time.
"No kidding. I'm gonna smack wooyoung in the face if they do anything cringe in front of me." He said, and the both of you laughed together.
"Anyways. Get home before 9 atleast, will you? I'm heading home now, it's pretty late." You announced, getting a hold of your bag in the chair alongside you.
"I will. And sorry for stalling you for so long. Are you sure you'll be home safe? I can drop you home, if you'd like." Yeosang said, concern etched in his voice.
"No, it's fine. I live near the block anyways. And I have a feeling you want to sort some things out. I'll be going then, bye." You said , passing him a small wave. He waved back, watching you leave.
.
It was so immensely surprising, even to yourself, when you think about all your interactions with yeosang nowadays. He's supposed to be your rival, which of course he still is, but it doesn't seem much like it nowadays. It's almost like you two are friends, seriously. And the thought scares you. It kinda scares you that you two are becoming friends now. You're afraid that all the times he's bothered you, teased you, playfully insulted you, would soon come to an end....it probably won't, right? And you don't want yeosang to treat you how he treats others: so soft, so polite, so calm, so well mannered, just, so perfect. Except for wooyoung, ofcourse: he's almost always kicking him and what not. You didn't like to admit this, but you liked with how your dynamics as supposed "rivals" was like.
You would never give up on the look on his face, when you flashed your paper wherein you got even a mark higher than him on a test. Or the times he'd insult your studying skills. Or the times when you would bother each other for every little thing. It was like, you had no one else to share such a relationship with, and although you would have to face your feelings very soon and admit that you like your rival in a romantic way, you still don't want your unique and playful banters to end.
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Just as you were about to turn your phone off and go to sleep, a notification at the top of your screen bar distracted you. And it's from Jia, of course.
Before you could even confront Jia about her dating wooyoung, she herself texted you that day itself (when yeosang told you about the news at the library) and even video called you for the same, your ears almost tearing up with her excited squeals and screams every time she talked about wooyoung. But you were happy for her. Immensely happy for your best friend. You hoped wooyoung would keep her happy and that their relationship lasts long. At the same time, you kept dreaming about how wonderful it would be like, if you got into a relationship.
But you knew you weren't getting into a relationship any soon. You didn't even have a crush on anyone at the present.....oh wait, that's a lie.
How were you even supposed to date someone, when the beloved kang yeosang existed? How were you supposed to push your romantic feelings for your rival, or even get over your crush on him in the mere future, and date someone else?
At this point, you just wished you could date him. No. Wait, what?
You sighed and clicked on the notification of Jia's messages and opened her chat.
Jia😈🤍
Yo, are you free tomorrow? Since it's the weekend, anyways
You
Mhm, yes, i think. Why do u ask tho? Shouldn't u be spending the weekends with your precious boyfriend, now that u have one 💀
Jia😈🤍
C'mon, don't be salty now, y/n. You know I can never forget about you even if I have a bf now. So, I was thinking, you wanna go on a movie date w me tomorrow? Woo will be there too, ofc ;)
You
And be third-wheeling the entire time w the both of u? No way in hell, Jia. U go spend your romantic movie date with wooyoung alone, i won't be mad, promise
Jia😈🤍
I knew you would say that. So well listen up, here's the deal. Yeosang will be joining us too tomorrow;))
You froze for a second and your phone almost dropped from your hands onto your face.
You
What the hell??!! Are you being srs?? Why would u even invite yeosang tho-
Jia😈🤍
You have absolutely no idea how much convincing it took wooyoung to get yeosang come along with him tomorrow. So you better say yes too, y/n. Your lover boy slash rival will be there too, tomorrow's gonna be loads of funnnnn
You almost wished to kick her across the screen for mentioning yeosang as your "lover boy."
You
Okay, but uh, does yeosang know that I'm coming too, tomorrow? I don't think he would have said yes if he knew I'm coming....
Jia😈🤍
He does. He knows ur coming and still agreed to the date. Wooyoung will do anything for me, even as far as convincing THE yeosang to agree to come to a hang out session w his rival. You know, part of me thinks that he willingly wants to be near you, bc why else would he say yes?
You took in a deep breath and processed all this.
You
I'm.....not too sure abt that. What time tomorrow and which cinema?
Jia 😈🤍
I see someone's excited, huh. I'll text you all the details tomorrow. For now, just sleep, and dream about your rival lover boy, nighttttt y/nnieeee
You
Gosh, shut up, Jia. And goodnight to you too, dream about wooyoung, loser
You put your phone on your bedside table and blankly stared at the ceiling, not believing that you were about to go on a movie date with yeosang, tomorrow.
Song Jia had to be the craziest person you've ever known. You couldn't believe that she went as far as successfully inviting Yeosang to the movie date tomorrow, yeosang knowing that you, his arch nemesis would be there. You knew Jia purposefully invited him so that something could possibly "change" into your relationship, perhaps either one of you making a move to confess, or something like that.
But you knew that wasn't true. Yeosang clearly wasn't interested in you in THAT way and you had to try your best to get over him. Tomorrow was going to be a very normal movie date with your friends.....and rival, now tour frenemy, which you would try to tolerate as much as you could.
You closed your eyes and finally slept, quite excited for what tomorrow was about to bring.
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You stood in front of your open closet, your expression thoughtful as you scanned the rows of outfits hanging neatly inside. As the thought of yeosang being there at the movie date later struck you, you suddenly felt self-conscious. You were a confident person but all that confidence sometimes melted away in front of your rival. You wanted to look just right today, in front of him, maybe even impress him with your outfit today. While considering all these factors, you decided to drop your usual jeans-and-tee combo and instead, picked up a soft, pastel pink dress: with floral patterns at the edges, that seemed to hug your curves perfectly, A dark blue denim jacket would compliment this perfectly, you thought, as you picked up the jacket too, and closed your closet.
As you were adding some final touches to your light and subtle makeup, which would be ideal for a movie date- you picked up your favourite gold hoop earrings from a nearby drawer and wore them, checking yourself out in the mirror with your entire outfit, including your white canvas sneakers. You felt confident and beautiful, and hey, a girlish look doesn't look bad sometimes. Your outfit today bought out the feminism in you, and you hoped Yeosang's eyes wouldn't leave you or your outfit today.
Unusual excitement bubbled up inside you as you closed the door of your room, hiring a taxi from an app on your phone. The taxi arrived in no time and there you were, stepping inside the grand cinemas, right on time.
You texted Jia to let her know that you were already here. Jia would be arriving alone, just like you, whereas Wooyoung and Yeosang would be arriving together since they shared a cab.
You unconsciously tapped your foot as you scanned the cinema's ambience around you, focusing on the movie posters, You had no idea which movie you were about to watch but knowing Jia, she would have definitely picked a rom-com movie since she's a die-hard romance fanatic, after all.
After a few minutes, Jia joined you, looking just as bubbly and excited as always. As the both of you chatted away, Jia complimented your outfit and makeup and you complimented hers too. You tilted your head and noticed two guys making their way towards the both of you in the bustling lobby. There they were, Yeosang and Wooyoung, looking just high-class as always. There was something about these two whenever they were together- they carried an air of confidence and power between them and were undoubtedly the most attractive and handsome men in the entire room.
You glanced briefly at yeosang, your jaw almost dropping as you scanned his outfit from head to toe: a black leather jacket that complimented his broad shoulders, a fitted white t-shirt that highlighted his toned physique, the fabric stretching just enough to hint the muscles beneath. And of course, his dark blue jeans complimented his long legs perfectly well, his black converse shoes adding an edgy, cool and expensive look. As he walked towards you, his hair was slightly tousled, his perfect lips drawn together as he smiled at something wooyoung said. Wooyoung was looking just as good as yeosang, but frankly, at the moment, you could NOT focus on anyone other than yeosang. He stole your breath and got your heart beating unbelievably fast every second he walked closer to you.
This was only the second time you ever saw Yeosang in casual clothes, you thought. Everyday you'd see him in the typical school uniform, but he just looked....so different in such a casual look. His outfit today radiated such a strong bad boy look it was insane. Who would have thought that the softest, politest Kang Yeosang liked wearing such daring clothes like a leather jacket, outside the school premises?
The moment these two stood in font of the both of you, Jia ran towards Wooyoung and engulfed him in a soul-crushing hug. You awkwardly stood there, trying your best to not stare at Yeosang, or at least, let him know that you were staring at him. But needless to say, he was already staring at you, scanning your outfit from head to toe just like you had for him, and you could swear you saw him smirking a little. You could feel every inch of your skin burning, burning holes into your skin, the parts where yeosang stared at you.
You finally made eye contact with him, because after all, you HAD to acknowledge him. He gave you a small smile, that wasn't a smirk for once, and you reciprocated the same. Then you both stared at the lovey-dovey couple beside you together, as wooyoung finally pulled back from Jia. You smiled at the sight of both of them, together, like the perfect couple. Wooyoung greeted you and began small talk with you, and all this time, Yeosang's gaze was deeply fixated on you, noticing every little change in your expression, and you didn't dare to look away from wooyoung while talking to him.
Since there was still almost half an hour left for the movie to start, Wooyoung and Jia announced that they were going around the cinema to take pictures together, and Yeosang shrugged, while you agreed, asking them to come back soon. Jia requested you to buy popcorn and a few cold drinks for all four of you, before she went, and passed you a small wink, and a knowing smile, and OF COURSE, she did, because you and yeosang were going to be alone together for the next few minutes. great.
"Uhm, so, Jia asked me to buy popcorn and cold drinks for all of us. Mind accompanying me?" You asked Yeosang, breaking the ice between the both of you just as you were alone.
"Mm, sure, lead the way." Yeosang replied, as casually as possible. You lead the way to the snacks counter as he walked beside you. Soon, you both were scanning the cafeteria menu, looking at the popcorn flavor options.
"Since it's the four of us, i think two or three popcorns would be enough, right?" You asked, squinting your eyes to read the price.
"Right. And i guess four cold drinks each for us, but which brand does everyone prefer?" He asked which cold drink brands were available, to the cashier, and since the both of you know your best friend's preferences, you ordered for the both of them, too.
After you both completed placing the orders, it was time for payment, and you shamelessly asked Yeosang to pay since you weren't really carrying much cash with you at the moment.
'Why me though? You can pay too, you know." He said just as shamelessly as you. While other people normally argued that they would be the ones paying, here the both of you were taunting each other to pay.
You continued to argue for two more minutes when yeosang finally gave in and offered to pay, That annoyed you a little and it felt like he won the fight somehow.
"Why agree to pay now, though? I'm embarrassed now, i want to pay." You childishly argued.
"I can't believe you sometimes, y/n. You were literally asking me to pay earlier, and now that i'm paying, you've got a problem again?" Yeosang huffed, looking a little pissed.
The cashier sensed that both of you were going to childishly argue with each other once again and interrupted your conversation.
"Sir, ma'am, sorry to interrupt, but we've got other customers in line too, you know. How about you split up the payment.....?" She offered and the both of you considered it, feeling foolish to not have thought about splitting up earlier.
"Ah, well. Since the total is around 12$ anyways, we can split up 6$ each." You said, and yeosang finally agreed with you, and just as the both of you were finishing up the payment, someone screamed right behind you in your ear which caused you to have a jumpscare and you flinched horribly, letting out a small scream. Jia and Wooyoung laughed like maniacs upon your reaction, and now Yeosang also looked at you in amazement and laughed as if you were a total sight right now. Your cheeks flushed furiously as you slapped Jia on the arm.
"Sorry, sorry. Let me and Wooyoung help you carry the popcorn. You both can carry the drinks. Our screen is the 5th one." Jia said, gathering the popcorn and handing some to Wooyoung. All four of you quietly made your way to the cinema hall, sitting at your booked seats.
And of course, your seat was just beside yeosang's. Jia sat on your right and yeosang on your left, whereas wooyoung sat beside Jia and a stranger. You almost held your breath as you settled in your seat, but immediately relaxed because of the comfortable and soft incliner cushion seat. Alas, you couldn't relax completely no matter how much you tried and nervousness bubbled up inside you, cuz you were seated right beside your rival slash crush slash the person whom you were so utterly attracted to, physically, and you almost started sweating because of him being in your presence. But you held all these stupid feelings in and focused on the large theatre screen for gods sake.
It was one of the finest rom-coms of the century. From the start itself, you adored the characters and found the storyline pretty interesting. Obviously, you couldn't help but glance at Yeosang secretly from time to time, and notice every little detail of his facial expression as he watched the movie. Ugh, that perfect freaking side profile of his, No matter what angle you saw this man, he was the most handsome guy you had ever seen in your life. That jawline could surely cut diamonds, you thought. God, how badly you wanted to ruffle those soft strands of tousled, black hair. You chose to focus on the movie instead. You glanced at Jia and noticed her and wooyoung's hands intertwined together. You wished it was you and Yeosang holding hands, too...
At some point, your and yeosang's fingers brushed together because both of you reached for the popcorn in the chair stand at the same time. You felt yourself blush so badly, that you were glad it was dark right now, or else Jia would have teased the hell out of you.
"I'm having this first, i reached for it first." Yeosang whispered lowly and it sent shivers down your spine because of how close he was to you, as he said this.
"Huh, no way. Let me have it first. How can you be so sure you reached for it first?" You argued, now lightly slapping yeosang's palm under yours. He let out a fake wince and tried grabbing some popcorn but you stopped him just in time, and there you were; the both of you fighting childishly like nursery school kids. This was your element, right now you were in your natural habitat with yeosang. This is what you both did every time, bantering about every little thing and you both never got tired of pissing each other off.
"God, shut up already, you both. Here, take our popcorn, Why does it even matter who reached for it first?" Jia said, quite annoyed.
"Really can't take the both of you anywhere. Always fighting like siblings." Wooyoung said, sighing, and passed their popcorn to Jia who passed it to you.
You lightly pinched Jia's arm after hearing wooyoung's words. "Tell your boyfriend to not call us siblings. Ew, who would even like to be siblings with this guy?" You whispered something only Jia was supposed to hear but unfortunately yeosang heard it, too.
"Just so you know, i would absolutely loathe to be your sibling too. The feeling's mutual." Yeosang said, huffing, and suddenly the movie in front of you was long forgotten. You passed him an annoying smirk and he did too, but the both of you calmed down soon, your attention back on the movie.
And suddenly, the both of you were laughing together at a comedy scene, and your eyes met yeosang's as you took in the sight of his carefree, almost adorable laughter. So this is what his laughter was like. To say that you liked observing such things about yeosang was an understatement. You loved knowing and collecting bits of information about this guy and unravelling every little inch of his personality.
Wooyoung and Jia stared at the both of you in unision as you and yeosang didn't break your eye contact for a few seconds. It seemed like you were searching for something, in his eyes. As you caught yeosang's gaze on your lips briefly for a second, you felt like passing ou. You broke the eye contact, the heat in your cheeks rising as you refocused on the screen in front of you. You couldn't bear to see him smirking after winning this battle of eye contact, yet again.
The movie ended after 2 hours, and you legit felt like these were the longest 2 hours of your life. As you both exited the cinema hall. all of you happily chatting about how good the storyline of the movie was, you suddenly became quiet for a few minutes, recollecting yeosang's brief glance at your lips back in the cinema hall. And you slowly stared up at the the same guy ahead of you, his dimples prominent as he chatted with wooyoung and jia. What if, just what if, one of you had made the first move, back then, and would have kissed? He was the one who stared at your lips first, after all.
But then again, that wasn't possible. Maybe it was just a coincidence, him staring at your lips. You were so normal about this. Totally normal. Yeosang didn't affect you in any way.
You caught up to them, and heard Jia saying something about how her relatives were about to visit her that night and how she needed to go home as soon as possible. Wooyoung, as her boyfriend, of course; offered to drop her home and soon, they waved the both of you goodbye, exiting the cinema together.
You and yeosang were alone, yet again, at the cinema, now.
You both walked out towards the exit together, the atmosphere painfully quiet between the both of you. Just as you were about to say something, Yeosang interrupted your words.
"So like, i bought my bike here. I can give you a ride home if you'd like... it's pretty late, anyways. Where did you say you lived again?" Yeosang inquired, standing right in front of you. His hair was messier than before now because of the wind, and your hands itched to straighten up his hair for him.
You had to be the stupidest person on earth to reject his current offer, yet you did. It was like a godsent opportunity was placed right in front of you and yet you rejected it like the coward you were. You were going to regret this badly, later.
"Uhh, i live just like, 20 minutes away from here. You don't have to drop me home, i wanted to walk home anyways. Thanks for the offer, though." You said weakly.
There was an obvious expression of disappointment on yeosang's face, but it lasted only for a second as he asked for a second time, if you were sure about walking home at this late hour. He looked like he wasn't ready to be rejected. like you would have obviously said yes to his offer. which you should have.
And here you were, all by yourself, after witnessing one of the hottest scenarios you've ever seen in your life: Kang Yeosang on his dashing red motorbike, his huge black helmet covering his head, him passing you a peace sign to show that he was finally leaving, and you waved him off, watching him disappear into the darkness of the streets ahead. The moment he started the gear of his bike and drove so impeccably fast, you realised that he wasn't just driving his bike but was also driving you insane.
You sighed and walked in the opposite direction of where Yeosang went, opening your phone to google maps. You had no freaking clue why you lied to Yeosang about your home being close to the cinema. It was apparently gonna take you 40 minutes to reach home, and just as you were walking halfway, you decided to call in a cab on the way home. You stood near the giant tree across the pavement, a hug car parked right ahead of you.
Suddenly, you felt a tug on your purse. A stranger dressed in all black appeared in front of you, and since your attention was on your phone, you reacted poorly. He attempted to snatch at your purse and before you could stop him, he already grabbed your purse and sprinted away in the darkness.
Your heart raced as you realized what had happened. Instinctively, you attempted to run after the thief, but stopped right in your tracks as you realized that he already ran too far away.
Just as panic threatened to set in, you heard a familiar voice nearby, almost growling.
"Hey, you f*cker!!! Stop right there!!!"
It was Yeosang, your unexpected shining night in armour. The way he shouted and almost growled towards the thief, for you, had you swooning over him.
Yeosang's leather jacket flapped behind him as he sprinted towards the fleeing thief, and he immediately tackled him towards the ground and successfully managed to grab your purse from his pant pockets. You watched the scenario in front of you in awe, just as you started wondering how on actual earth yeosang even came back here just in time. didn't he already leave like minutes ago? how did he even know that you were being pick pocketed??!!
"Who the hell even are you, dude?? That girl must be important to you, the way you got out of yo bike and ran so fast towards me." The thief said, and you felt like punching him on the face.
It was true, though. Why would yeosang act so fast, for you? It didn't mean anything, you managed to convince yourself. Even a random stranger would have helped you if they saw this scene unfold. It was people's duty to help each othe-
"Yeah, she's my girlfriend. You got any problem, bastard? And just how many people's pockets do you pickpocket everyday, like this?!" Yeosang shouted angrily without hesitation, not even passing you a single glance. You felt your blood run cold.
Girlfriend. Yeah, she's my girlfriend, you bastard.
The words rang again and again in your ears, not until you become unconscious of hearing them. Why would he, even...?
Hell, he could have called you his best friend for what its worth and that wouldn't affect you like this. Yet, he chose to introduce you as his girlfriend to a random thief whom he was now painfully punching in the face. You stared at him, completely still, and something told you he wasn't done beating that thief, as the thief skillfully flipped yeosang over and ran away for his life.
Yeosang grunted painfully, at the feeling of rocks hitting his back as he slowly took hold of himself and got up. That was when you wasted no time in rushing over to his side, placing an arm on his shoulder and wiping off the dust from his jacket with the other hand. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, your rival whom you had a crush on, fighting off a thief for you.
"Yeosang...how did you even? know i was in this situation? and weren't you already on your way home...? You asked, confusion etched in your voice and expression.
Yeosang looked up at you, agonizingly slowly, and handed you your purse, which you took very carefully, holding it close to your chest. He didn't say anything for almost a minute, but then he spoke up.
"Yeah, because apparently, you are so dumb that you can't even take care of yourself. If i wouldn't have been here, y/n, tell me, who the hell would have helped you??!!" Yeosang sounded angry, and that was probably the first time he ever raised his voice on you. You flinched slightly and the tone of his words and he noticed, his gaze immediately softening. "I'm sorry, i didn't mean to-"
"No, y-you're right. I really am the dumbest person on earth. I shouldn't have let down your offer of dropping me home..." You admitted, tears almost threatening to spill out of your eyes because you were so embarrassed.
"Oh yeah, about that. On my way home on the bike, i recalled when you once told me your address and realised that you live quite far away from here. And yet you lied to me about your home being 20 minutes away from here. Why?" Yeosang demanded some answers from you and he surely had the entire right of knowing why you lied to him.
"Yeosang, i.... i dont know. I probably just didn't want to bother you or something, at such late hours of night, you know..." You trailed off.
"You would not have bothered me in any way. Besides, your home is just on the way to mine by a few minutes..." Yeosang said, and then there was complete silence between the two of you for a few minutes. Something hung in the air, something that was left to be addressed. Oh right. Girlfriend. You desperately tried to ignore the blush that formed on your face as his words rung up in your ears, your mind, your body, your soul- once again.
You hesitated for a moment but managed to ask this, regardless.
"A-and, um, why did you tell that thief that i'm your girlfriend, earlier......? You asked, your voice almost breaking but you hoped that yeosang heard you, loud and clear.
"Ah, about that. Don't think about it much, you know. It just spilled out of my mouth, to uh, scare that thief away for good. To make some impact, you know?" Yeosang answered sheepishly, his hand awkwardly caressing the back of his head.
You could almost laugh right now, that's how ridiculous this situation was. "Don't think about it much" how can i not, for god's sake, kang yeosang, when that's the only thing i'm going to be focusing on for the rest of my life? "to make an impact" my ass.
You let out a small sigh and looked him right in the eyes. SO, all this really didn't mean anything to him. He just casually addressed you as his girlfriend to make an impact on the thief. great. you could be hit with a million rocks right now, and that would still hurt less than what you were feeling right now.
You realised that you were supposed to reply to him, because well, he already gave you his answer.
"An impact?? Sure. Whatever you say." You replied, sounding disinterested. Unbothered. The complete opposite of what you were feeling right now. Hell, you should audition for acting, the way you're able to conceal your true emotions so well.
"Well, i'm taking you home now, and i'm not hearing a single word of protest from you now." He announced, already dashing out to reach for his bike before you could even reply to him.
He returned in no time, placing his bike right in front of you both and hopping off on his bike, patting on the seat behind him, motioning for you to get on.
"What are you waiting for? Get on already." He said, sounding impatient. You really weren't left with any choice now. You hopped on the seat behind yeosang, and yeosang instructed to to hold on tight to him as he started. You hesitated for a second but gripped his shoulders a second later, feeling his strong shoulders and the expensive material of his leather jacket. You felt dizzy.
Just as yeosang started the engine, your heart almost beat out of your chest as you realised at the fast speed he was driving with. But you weren't really afraid of speed. not at all. Instead, it was the complete opposite; you felt alive, you felt exhilarated, you felt this sudden surge of freedom in your veins. You removed your hands from yeosang's shoulder and waved your hands in the air, freely, as yeosang tilted his head with his helmet on just for a second, smirking and grinning at how happy you were, right now.
Suddenly, a rock bumped the tyre of his bike, causing a huge drift as you hurriedly gripped yeosang's shoulder with so much force, you swore the jacket was dropping off his shoulders.
"Oh gosh, i'm sorry, that must have hurt-" You started as you noticed him stiffen a little at your sudden touch.
"No, you did the right thing. Make sure to always hold onto me with such force whenever such bumps occur. I need you to be as safe as possible." He replied, his words sounding muffled because of his helmet.
I need you to be as safe as possible.
God, what was his deal nowadays? Did he suddenly make it his mission to test you, today??!! You kept the same grip on his shoulders, humming in response to him, ignoring the fact that your heart was beating impeccably faster, the rest of your ride peacefully quiet, as you took in the chilly night air, the streetlamps, and the tall buildings around you.
This all felt like a dream. Here, huddled close with your rival slash crush on his bike, him offering you a ride home, you enjoying the chilly night with yeosang. if this really was a dream, you did not want to wake up from this dream.
maybe this was all that you've wanted, all this time. this was all you craved for. and now that you're getting dangerously closer to yeosang, how could you even spend a minute away from him? how could you not think about this perfect guy all the time, when he is all you've ever wanted?
Just as you reached your building, yeosang stopped the engine, got off his bike and removed his helmet. You did the same, an empty feeling lingering within you as you let go of your grip on his shoulder. you wanted to get impossibly closer to him, and yet, here you were: staring at the guy in awe, like he just won the olympics.
"well.....?" he started, smirking a little, taking in your impressed expression and waiting for some compliments.
"that was AWESOME, yeosang, even though i hate to admit it. You looked...really cool driving your bike. thank you for bringing me home in one piece." You said a little sarcastically.
"You're welcome. Well, get in already. It's pretty late and i need to go home soon." He said, smiling satisfactorily.
"Right. Um, goodnight. Get home safe and thank you again." You said, holding on tight to your purse and walking towards your complex, and just when you were far away from yeosang, you glanced at him and noticed that he was watching you leave, as if he wasn't planning to leave unless he saw you get completely inside your building gates.
that is something a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend, right......?
You waved lightly at him and he waved back, finally getting on his bike and you watched him, once again, trailing off in the darkness.
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Kang Yeosang........
why do i keep smiling, after meeting you these days? Why is my mood entirely different nowadays when you are around?
My eyes keep looking for you everywhere, even if it's unnecessary. how is this even me? i am supposed to be hating you. i am supposed to be happy if you leave me the hell alone. but i feel so...empty and sad instead. what spell and magic have you used on me? that i keep selfishly wanting you, more and more. i don't even know when this all happened. somehow, my heart beats impeccably faster, only for you. this started at one point and never ended,
how did you even become so important to me, yeosang?
you give my life it's meaning. i am still so utterly young and so are you. i don't know what i am saying at this point. but my growing feelings, my changed emotions towards you nowadays.....it's not a joke. not anymore. if i don't confess to you soon i might die. a rejection at this point would hurt less than bottling my feelings inside like a raging storm.
i want you. selfishly, dangerously, desperately, want you- all for myself.
who knew something would provoke me to actually confess to you...today?
.
It’s late afternoon; the sun casts long shadows through the hallway's tall windows, bathing the scene in a golden, wistful light. As students hurry to their next class, the locker doors clank and conversations blur into a continuous hum, creating a backdrop of ordinary high school life. but something isn't ordinary today, actually since a week- between you and yeosang.
it had been two weeks since the movie date happened, also the day wherein yeosang dropped you home on his bike, fought a thief for you and addressed you as his girlfriend. which was all a lie, of course. but you still can't get his words out of your mind, ever since that day. and it bothers you that something as heavy as that was so easy for him to lie about.
Talking about you and your activities these days- well, you were supposed to hand in a hefty chemistry project the next week, and one of your classmates, Jaehyun, was your partner was the same. Almost all your extra time after school gets occupied with working on your project with Jaehyun at your home. Everything was working smoothly and efficiently, Jaehyun was the best partner you could have ever asked for. You had known Jaehyun ever since the first year of high school and were good friends with him, but you both never really talked much, not until you were paired up together for the project.
And here you were- walking towards the familiar person towards his desk, chatting with him about what you were supposed to finish today. You could not even make your point straight sometimes, while conversing with him, because Jaehyun, being the jokester he is, would crack such horrendous jokes and wordplays every now and then, you couldn't help but burst out into laughter and beg him to stop. soon enough, though, he would concentrate on what you're saying and add suggestions of his own, because unfortunately, he knew the both of you needed to get those grades.
Somehow, even though Jaehyun made you laugh your lungs out for minutes straight, you still felt empty, still felt this unusual surge of sadness.
and of course, the only person responsible for that was kang yeosang.
over the past week, yeosang has been acting so unusual towards you. Your relationship, once filled with playful banter and unending teasing, now even him ranting to you about his family conflicts and the movie date events, had taken a sharp, unexplained turn, leaving you feeling confused and isolated. it would not have bothered you much if it happened once or twice, but it happened every day over the past week, including today. you felt like drowning in an ocean every single time he ignored you over the past week.
On Monday, you tried to indulge him in a joke during algebra class, but he barely cracked a smile at that, instead, he gave an uninterested shrug and turned away to talk to wooyoung, who was seated beside him. The laughter that followed, one that you weren't a part of, suddenly felt like a barrier between the both of you.
On Tuesday, when you were both seated in the library at the same time, just when you were about to reach out to him to start a normal conversation, he took hold of his bag and left- without sparing you a single glance or acknowledging you like he always did, at least with a smirk. You felt a sharp, burning ache in your chest, at that moment.
On Wednesday and Thursday, just when you didn't want to overthink much about yeosang's sudden unusual behaviour towards you, things worsened. Once, when it was physics class, you were looking forward to the rivalry that always took place in between both of you, almost like a form of affection. You used to compete on who could answer the professor's questions first and he never let down his guard during such lectures. But this time, his hang didn't raise up to answer, not even once. You passed him a confused glance and he just shrugged, yet again, and you were 100% sure he knew the answer but still didn't answer instead. he seemed distracted and impossibly distant to you, and all you wanted to do is cry until you passed out. a similar incident of him ignoring you happened on Thursday and frankly, you don't even want to talk about it.
On Friday, the week's pattern of avoidance reached its peak. as school ended and the bells rung, you felt a knot of anxiety instead of relief that school ended. As you reached your locker, you overheard yeosang and wooyoung talking about their weekend plans about playing a new video game that wooyoung had bought, together. the ease and joy you felt in yeosang's voice made your stomach churn, because just as you walked closer to him, trying to start a conversation yet again, smiling faintly- yeosang glanced up, saw you, and the smile on his face suddenly faded. Wooyoung didn't seem to notice because he was scrolling something on his phone. Yeosang immediately broke eye contact with you and whispered something to wooyoung, effectively dismissing you. huh, two could play this game, you thought. angered and confused like hell, you turned away from him and took your bag and left without sparing him another glance.
"He's definitely ignoring me. I dont even know the hell why." You mumbled, lying on your bed, and Jia put her phone aside and turned to you, looking concerned. She came over to hang out with you for a while, during the weekends, and who else could you open up to about your problems other than your best friend?
"After you described his unusual behaviour towards you the entire week, i think so too. And that is so shitty of him. Seriously, have you done something to piss him off badly these days?" Jia asked, confused.
"I don't even get the chance to TALK to him nowadays, Jia- let alone tease him or piss him off. And over and over i keep thinking if i did o said something wrong but nothing comes to my mind, seriously. How dare he give me a cold shoulder after literally calling me his girlfriend to a random stranger last week??!!" You ranted, sounding and feeling the angriest you've ever felt in your life.
Jia consoled you and tried her best to distract your mind from yeosang during the time she was with you. but after she left, at night; you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying yeosang's cold indifference over and over in your mind. This can't continue into next week; you need answers, and deserve answers. Monday, you decide, will be the day you confront yeosang, demanding to know why he pushed you away over the week. You fell asleep rehearsing what she would say, each word crafted precisely to argue with him and let him know how sad and frustrated you get when he ignores you....which would maybe also lead to you confessing to him...?
not that you cared. if a confession is what comes out of this then be it.
.
The weekend passed by in no time. Here you were, presenting your chemistry project in front of the entire class along with Jaehyun, feeling pretty confident and satisfied with your work. The presentation went by pretty smoothly and your chemistry teacher showered you both with compliments and so did the entire class; applauding cheerfully. You returned to your seat with a huge smile on your face (that you couldn't hide) and fist-bumped Jaehyun, telling him that you both truly did a great job.
Next up was Yeosang and Mingi's project. Mingi was one of your classmates and also a good friend of Yeosang's. Their presentation was something unique and different, something that had grabbed the entire class's attention, including yours. They both explained each concept so well and their research was done excellently. While directly making eye contact with the entire class while explaining each slide, at some point, when their presentation was done and the entire class cheered rowdily once again, Yeosang's eyes made brief eye contact with yours, and you could not tell what his expression meant. But you clapped softly and Yeosang's face was still blank, not until he met eyes with other students and smiled politely at them. You still continued staring at him until he settled back into his seat, your eyes silently spitting outrage and confusion, and he didn't look back at you.
Your mind was now a outlet of mixed emotions and feelings and displaced thoughts; as you worked out how to settle everything with yeosang and to know what the hell was his actual deal.
You could not figure out anything, not until all lectures for the day ended and the bell rang loudly, all students hurrying up to pack their bags and go home. A sudden splash of currentness washed over you, as you realized that this was your only chance to confront Yeosang, or else he'd be gone forever. You could confront him tomorrow too, but you had planned to do this today and you never broke promises with yourself. Instead of directly lashing out at him, you decided to compliment him on his project first and ask him about his thoughts on your project.
Just as you spotted him at the classroom doors, ready to step out into the hallway, you quickly rushed over and stood after him, almost blocking his way.
"Hey. Y-your project, and Mingi's too, of course- was amazing. Well done, seriously." You managed to let out, almost in a fangirl kinda voice.
Yeosang just stared at you for a second, a bit startled at first when you practically blocked his way, but now his expression was still blank, and he mumbled out a low "thank you."
Nah, this isn't it. You decided to speak up a bit more, like normal.
"I was really impressed by how detailed your explanations were. What did you think about my project? Was it good enough to impress THE kang yeosang?" You asked, chuckling a little. Usually, yeosang would have definitely giggled a little, or even smirked, but instead, he parted his lips awkwardly.
"Yeah, it was cool." He replied, his voice still low. You still stood there, expecting him to say something more, but he didn't, instead- just stared coldly at you as if telling you to get the hell outta his way and let him leave. But you were absolutely not letting that happen. He crossed is limit and your blood was practically boiling now.
"What the hell is wrong with you nowadays, Yeosang?" You asked him, your voice low but still emitting annoyance and rage.
"W-what do you mean?" He asked, now breaking eye contact with you, staring at the floor behind you. You couldn't believe that he stuttered while saying his first word. Ah, so he is aware of his actions over the past week, you thought.
"What do i mean?? SERIOUSLY?? Don't act all innocent. Why are you ignoring me and pushing me off since the past week?" You asked, your voice loud and firm, demanding answers. "Just so you know, I am not letting you get away with the silent treatment you've been giving me. Tell me, what did I even do wrong that you're giving me the cold shoulder??!! You said, practically screaming at the man in front of you. Something about Yeosang's demeanor changed, at that moment- his eyes were now a flicker of emotions you could not comprehend.
"I'm.....not ignoring you. I am talking with you now, aren't i?" He said, his voice still low, almost as if he spoke any further it would break.
"Stop lying for god's sake!!!!!" You let out, and without thinking any further, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the nearest closet, the one closest to the hallway and your class.
It looked like a huge closet from the outside, but it was pretty closed-off from the inside, and you had no idea how you managed to fit inside it along with Yeosang, but you did.
Yeosang almost removed his wrist from your grip but gave up as soon as you dragged him inside the closet with you, breathing heavily in this constricted place he was bought to.
Inside the dimly lit closet, the air was thick with the scent of lemon polish and dust. You finally let go of his wrist and stood a few inches apart from him, your gaze piercing an burning holes into his skin.
"Are you insane? Why did you even bring me here, y/n??" He asked, coughing a little. Your skin formed goosebumps as your ears registered the fact that he called out your name. You did not hear him call you by your name for the past week and now that he did, you felt like you were getting dizzy.
"Quit the act and tell me what the hell is wrong with you. Unfortunately, i had to bring you here to talk or else you would have pushed me off and walked past me again, ignoring me like always, right?" You let out, your voice sarcastic.
Suddenly you became aware of the present situation, you locked into a small, constricted closet along with your rival....or your crush, him being only inches apart from you. There was a dim light turned on inside the closet so hopefully, you could see each other's faces, and hell, why did yeosang always have to look this goddamn handsome?
The strands of his smooth, black hair were messed up at the edges and he was sweating a little because of the current atmosphere, and his forehead was slightly exposed- his hoop cross earrings shining in the dim light. There were no restrictions about wearing subtle jewelry at your school and Yeosang took advantage of it, showing off his ear piercings.
If he wanted to leave and had nothing else to say to you, he would have already opened the closet door and would have left, you thought. But he didn't, instead, you felt his lips being parted as if he was about to say something. He hesitated for a few seconds, but said it regardless;
"Why......Ah, right. Your project is over now and you won't spend time with Jaehyun anymore, so you're suddenly looking for me now?" He said, laughing a little in disbelief.
What....? No way...... was he jealous of you spending time with Jaehyun nowadays?
You weren't dumb, you had already thought about the possibility of Yeosang perhaps giving you the cold shoulder because he felt jealous of Jaehyun, since you really were spending a lot of time with him since the past week... but you quickly brushed this off because you always thought that Yeosang did not like you in that way. Always.....and him saying this to you, right now, obviously implied that he was jealous, right?
"What are you talking about? Who do you even think i am....yeosang?? Don't tell me you felt jealous of Jaehyun?" You let out, staring so firmly at him, observing each and every single detail about his expression.
Silence. He didn't say anything, instead just stared below, almost looking embarrassed.
Now, it was you who was laughing in disbelief. "Just talk to me...for gods sake. You being quiet is not helping, and now you're implying that you felt jealous of Jaehyun. What am i supposed to make of this?" You asked, patiently or impatiently waiting for him to just...speak.
"So, am i in the wrong for feeling jealous, now?? I am sorry. I have to be the stupidest person on earth, i- i don't even have the right to be feeling jealous for you, y/n," Yeosang said, and the last sentence felt like something he would've wanted to say to himself. He felt vulnerable, his words felt vulnerable- and if you weren't confronting him right now, you would have hugged him for sure.
"Hey... i'm not saying that you feeling jealous is wrong. It's definitely not. Just, do you have any clue how you ignoring me and giving me the worst cold shoulder made me feel? I wanted to cry, scream, pull you by your collar and make you look directly at me and just...wanted everything between us to be normal. I, feel so deprived when you don't give me attention, you're so important to me, i-i don't know how you became so important to me, Yeosang." You said, catching your breath as you stared at the wall sideways. You could not look at Yeosang right now. You just couldn't.
"Y/N.....i had no idea...." He said, not breaking his gaze away from your face.
"I'm sorry, all this time, i thought it was just me...i am not supposed to be feeling jealous of you, y/n. You're my rival, goddamit- and as this thought sunk in, i realized that i like you, so bad that it hurts. I am sorry, for making you sad. That's the last thing I'd want, i like you so much, I'd never want you to cry over someone as stupid as me-" and that's it. that's all it took for you to close the remaining inches of distance between the both of you. You wanted him to just, stop speaking. Apologizing. You could hear him say that he liked you a million times, but him apologizing for liking you? You wanted to cry, SCREAM. Realizing that you were just an inch away from his face, not only did yeosang stop speaking, but those dark, majestic eyes immediately glanced at your lips, and that's all it took for you to press a light, chaste kiss on his lips.
You immediately pulled apart after a second, not even registering Yeosang's reaction to the sudden kiss. It was too much for you, though- his lips were so soft, although you just pecked for a mere second, you could feel how sweet those perfect lips tasted, and you wanted to kiss him forever. You don't even know how you managed to pull apart, but you did, of course- because you could not do this if yeosang didn't want to.
Yeosang's eyes widened the moment you kissed him, and although you were too scared to see his reaction, you did anyways, your eyes roaming everywhere, hesitantly, nervously around his face. And then you finally met his eyes- and saw him lift his hand and one of his fingers lightly grazed the edge of his lips, as if registering that you had...just kissed him.
He met your eyes, and just when you had this horrible feeling to just open the closet doors and run away for your life, Yeosang grabbed your wrist, walking a few inches closer until he pulled you up against the closet wall on your side, and you swore your heart beat right out of your chest, at that moment. He placed his other hand right behind your head, on the wall; and a small smile played at the corner of his lips before chasing your lips once again, completely closing any distance left between the both of you, and kissed you slowly at first, as if savoring you, learning how it feels like to kiss you. You firmly closed your eyes, trying your best to live in this moment, to kiss him back just as sweetly as he did.
A million reasons could have convinced you that Kang Yeosang would have rejected you and that things would never be the same between the both of you again. But not a single reason could have convinced you that here he was, kissing you as if you both were the only people in this world, confessing to you about how much he likes you.
You were so overwhelmed with so many emotions bubbling up inside you, but the only thing you wanted was to kiss kang yeosang until you were breathless, until you felt like passing out. no stopping in between. so, you did.
His lips picked up their pace, now kissing you passionately, hungrily, as if he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life. His hand still held your wrist, and you closed it into a fist, and you just drowned in the sensation Yeosang's lips on yours. He suddenly bit your lower lip with his teeth, and you almost squealed- but regained your composition, and bit his upper lip as revenge. God, he almost moaned into your mouth and you felt your knees go weak. His lips tasted like coffee, the sweet one- like mocha. Mocha was your favorite drink and the fact that yeosang's lips tasted as sweet as mocha.....
The both of you pulled apart minutes later, completely breathless and reaching out for air- although barely any of it could be found in this constricted place. He flashed you a small, satisfied smirk, and your stomach swooned, a strong blush forming on your cheeks. The realization of your first kiss, with yeosang, taking place in the school's hallway closets- had you feeling mixed emotions. Hell, your happiness won out of those emotions, you felt so giddy inside, becuase you had just kissed THE kang yeosang.
"I hated the fact that you looked so nervous after kissing me for the first time, you know." He said, his voice firm.
"I....felt like i never made it clear, or even gave you small hints, that i liked you all along. I wanted to wash all your insecurities, hesitation and nervousness away. So i kissed you until you were breathless, hopefully making my feelings clear. You're just as important to me, like you said, i am to you." He said, holding you chin and softly caressing his thumb over your cheeks.
You melted so badly, at everything going on in this moment- his fingers softly caressing your cheeks, him confessing to you again just to make sure that you knew how much he liked you.
"S-stop saying things like that, and that too so sincerely. I feel like i might have a heart attack. And i like you too, so much that i think i might die." You said, smiling sheepishly.
"Hmm, that sounds like a convincing confession. Does that mean that you might have died if i had rejected you now, instead?" He said, chuckling.
"No, i would have still liked you as much as i always did. I would have never given up, even if you rejected me. I would do everything to make you fall in love with me. I am a stubborn person, you know." You replied, meaning every word you said.
Yeosang placed a soft, subtle kiss on your cheek after your reply, and you witnessed his beautiful, endearing eye smile at that moment, and your heart once again melted into puddles.
You could not believe all this. This was so, different.... he treated you like you were a delicate doll, at this moment, he showered so much love on you, something you would have never expected to happen. What you did expect was the usual cocky face, that usual smirk, that unending teasing, unending random fights. not....what just happened.
"L-lets get out now, we're both sweating like hell. Not really an ideal place to stay in after a confession and a kiss, you know" You said, and Yeosang nodded, peeking through the small hole in the door, making sure no one was present in the hallway. Then, you both got out, taking in the fresh air, as he mumbled "You're the one who bought me in this shitty place. However, the kiss and confession made it worth it." You passed him a smirk and he shrugged.
You both rushed toward your classroom, picked up your bags, and walked down the stairs together, the atmosphere suddenly quiet between the both of you. You tried your best to hide the fact that you just kissed someone, but you couldn't, of course- that dumb, sheepish smile on your face remained, you glancing at yeosang every now and then as you reached the school gates- him looking just as flustered as you.
i can make yeosang flustered, you thought. i have the power to make him go all shy.....
"I got jealous once too, you know." You said, breaking the silence and Yeosang looked up at you, his eyes all curious and wide.
"Don't think you even remember this, since you are so nice to everyone all the time. But you know, when you were walking down the stairs and caught a girl who was just about to fall down? I was jealous, i even wished it was me in that redheads place. I also felt like i had no right to be jealous for you." You admitted, the both of you now standing at the pavement of a street starting from the edge of your school gates.
"Ah, that time? I don't remember much, to be honest, but i had no idea that you were jealous, i don't think i was even aware that you were near me at that time..." Yeosang said, looking apologetic, and it was the first time you had ever seen him look apologetic.
"Of course, you don't remember. You do stuff like this all the time, act so nice and polite towards everyone in school- and become the complete opposite when you're with me. It has changed quite significantly nowadays, though, and now you act nice towards me too." You rambled, almost as if you were talking to yourself.
"I.... didn't know that you paid so much attention to me. Just so you know, i always teased you and fought with you and stuff, because i felt comfortable with you. It's not easy for me to be comfortable with just anyone, so i always act nice to others no matter what because i'm scared i'll disappoint them in some way... i know you won't understand this properly.." He said, and you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as if you understood him.
"I get what you mean. That's why i never really complained about our....relationship. Whenever you acted so differently towards me, it was like you were trusting me with your true, real personality. Maybe that's also one of the reasons that pushed me to confess to you." You admitted.
"I could shower you with a million compliments right now, y/n, but unfortunately, we have to go home... it's too late, but i don't want to let you go just yet." He pouted, and he looked so cute you wanted to pinch his nose. So you did.
"Alright, loverboy. Let's go home and continue this conversation while chatting or on call? My mom's probably wondering where the hell i am." Yeosang pinched your nose in return and you both giggled together, feeling content.
"Reach home safely. I'll call you later, bye." Yeosang waved to you as he parted ways in the opposite direction of yours, a lovesick smile lingering on his lips that you couldn't ignore. You waved back and almost skipped happily on your way home, thinking this might just have been the best day of your life.
.
Just as you stepped inside your room after washing up, you sat on your bed, pulling out your phone, and right at that time, a message notification popped up.
from kang yeosang. that's how you had saved his name on your phone and you chucked at how... formal it was, his full name and everything. Before checking his message, you went towards th eetings of your chat and added a heart alongside the name "yeosang"
yeosang 💗
heyy
can i call you rn? or later, if you're busy?
you
suree, call me, i'm free rn
i was waiting for ur msg <3
You picked up his call, giving up on the "hi, hello" pleasantries and just starting your conversation because you surely had so much to talk about.
"This might just be the first time i've ever called you. It's so weird but i've wanted to do it since a long time." He chuckled, his voice sounding deep and low, and you felt like your heart was on fire.
"I know, right. All this is so... unusual. We used to be RIVALS, yeosang. and now, today, we....all this..... i can't believe this." You said, finding it unreal that you're even talking with yeosang on the phone, right now.
"Seriously. We still are rivals, though, you're such a smartass and i can't help but get competitive at almost...everything with you. But we can be making out in between all such banters and saying sweet stuff to each other sometimes, i guess."
You laughed at how honest yeosang was and how he worded everything. You realized that you were no better than him because when it came to him, you could just go on rambling forever, saying words that don't make sense sometimes.
"Deal. So i guess we're rivals and lovers at the same time..now." You chuckled at how absurd that sounded, but it was true.
"That's right, y/n. Ah shoot, i have to go now, wooyoung's practically screaming at me over texts when i told him about our kiss and confession today." There was a hint of panic in yeosang's voice and you found it cute.
"OH FUCK. That reminds me how i have to tell Jia about this, too. Talk to you later, rival slash lover boy." Jia would practically call you and scream at you at this, just like wooyoung. they truly do suit each other....
"That was a little- nevermind. Bye, rival slash lover girl." He replied, waiting for you to cut the phone, so you did, although it was painful and you could keep listening to his voice forever.
And as expected, Jia was so pumped up after heating your events of the day with yeosang, she screamed so loud, saying "FREAKING FINALLY, YOU DUMBASS" your ears might've been permanently damaged at this point. But she said how happy she was for you and how she'll kick yeosang's ass if he ever makes you sad, and you thanked her for that.
Everything was so much for you to take in. But suddenly, everything felt right, everything felt like normal, at the same time. It was like you were meant to be, together with yeosang, although you were his rival.
The playful banters and teasing could go on and on in your relationship, along with the both of you doing the things a couple does, successfully planting in a healthy relationship.
You felt blessed to have such a person in your life, someone like yeosang, who made your life so interesting, so exciting, someone who made you look forward to waking up in the morning and someone who was now yoir boyfriend.
Boyfriend, yeosang.....hmm. I like the sound of that. You thought, giddily grabbing your pillow and practically squealing because of how happy and content you were.
but of course, not content just yet. there were so many things to do with yeosang, now that you both were a couple- go on dates everywhere, kiss all the time, make love, say that you love each other a hundred times...
you were not ready but were ready at the same time, for the upcoming chapters of your life with kang yeosang, your now rival slash lover boy- moments that you were sure would make you feel like you're living the best life possible because you're living them with yeo.
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A/N ^^^ - a possible upcoming extra scene coming up for this one, which I will include in another post later <3 because I felt like the ending was pretty rushed but I will make it up to you guys later, I promise. it's just because I felt like this fic was getting way too long and it'd be too much for y'all to read ;(
likes, reblongs, comments and follows are always immensely appreciated, dear reader, thank you so much for reading my fic!! :)
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wanna1be0 · 5 days ago
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part i - goodbye
synopsis: you and vi grew up together in the undercity. you've always admired her and didn't realize your true feelings until she left. when she comes back with an enforcer, sure you're hurt, but you work with her for the greater good. when cait leaves vi, you're there for her. cw: female reader, vi x reader, emotional hurt, mention of caitvi's relationship, alcohol mentioned, slow burn, spoilers s2
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Vi is at her lowest. Being hit and reduced to a monster by the person she thought she could trust broke her. She resorted to the one thing she knew. Fighting.
Vi's vision has gone blurry. She's sweating from the alcohol in her system, and the black of her hair dye is running down her skin. She can tell by the smell of your perfume that you're there, and by the feeling of the big arm under hers, Loris is too.
"Can you just leave me alone?" Vi grumbles, pushing both you and Loris away as you were leading her towards the door. "No Vi, we are here to help you," you say as you put your hand back on her shoulder and continue leading her inside. Pushing you off her once again, this time even more aggressively, she starts to yell.
"Can't you see I don't need your help? I never needed your help. Not when we were younger and not now. And you Loris, I don't need your help either. Both of you should just leave."
Taken aback by her words, tears fill your eyes. When you were younger you did everything together. You were inseparable. When everything went down at the warehouse, you thought she had died and mourned her loss as if it were real.
You look to Loris for help, but he looks defeated. He shrugs his shoulders at you, while giving you a sort of knowing look. She won't change.
She is still hung up on Cait.
You consider Loris a close friend, and with that you opened up to him. About what life was like when Vi left. About what happened to Powder, to Jinx. You and Ekko kept in touch, but you weren't much of a fighter. Thinking Vi had died caused your eyes to open regarding how you really felt about her. Sure you admired her growing up, but you also grew to love her. She was strong willed, protective, someone you could count on. You were left to mourn the love of your life in solitude. And now, she was pushing you away after you had just gotten her back.
Loris and you have been doing this night after night. Sitting with Vi in the bar until she can no longer function without the two of you holding her up, walking her back to the small room she lives in, and slowly getting more and more hurt by her. "I don't know about you, [y/n], but I think I've had enough of her bullshit," Loris says pointing to Vi. And just like that, it is you and Vi. Vi and you. Alone in a dark alley.
"You don't mean that Vi, you're drunk," you say softely. Vi scoffs and begins stumbling to the door. You reach for her shoulder, but she shrugs you away, raising her voice once again, "Leave it [y/n], I don't need you." You blink the tears away, the hurt and sadness becoming searing anger.
"You know what Violet, I will leave. Lets see how long you last with this. Coming back drunk every night to a room you can barely call livable with no companion besides your fists. You know, I mourned you for years when you left. I thought you died. And then you come back, with an enforcer who you eye fuck every chance you get no less, and act as if everything is normal? Well it's not normal Vi. It never has been. And I thought maybe we could be... normal again without Cait. But I should have known better. Goodbye Violet. Have fun fighting your life away instead of facing your feelings."
The corner of Vi's vision begins to fade into black as you walk away. With tears streaming down your face, you mourn the loss of Vi all over again.
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© wanna1be0 ★ do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms ! consider leaving a comment, liking, or reblogging <3 also send me a request for what you want to see next! read part ii here
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comikadraws · 2 months ago
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The "No Regrets" Line
At the request of @the-real-sasuke-uchiha and because this seems to be a common point of critique of Itachi Uchiha.
So yeah. This is the explanation all of you have been waiting for. I've got Japanese raws, researched the original expression used, and now I'm here to let you know how haters never seem to understand this scene.
Length: • 1.8K Content: • The "Wrong" Translation • The Correct Translation • A Quote Taken Out of Context
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DISCLAIMER: Blue links are sources. The art in the header is mine but drawn referencing Kishimoto's original art.
The "Wrong" Translation
We all know it. We all have heard it. It regularly comes up in anti-Itachi discourse to show fans how much of a remorseless monster Itachi truly is. It's the infamous "I have no regrets" line at the end of the Kabuto fight.
And it shows up not just in the manga but in the official English Sub and Dub as well. So it should be perfectly fine, shouldn't it?
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Well. Before anybody's attention span gives out, this is indeed a translation error. Sort of, at least. The English translation is "correct" but it sacrifices nuance for the sake of a simpler, crispier line. Unfortunately, this nuance just so happens to be a vital puzzle piece to understanding both Itachi and Sasuke in this scene. The lack thereof became the origin of many misconceptions about Itachi's words and, therefore, his true character.
So, instead of its true meaning, many people who read "no more regrets" ended up interpreting the line somewhat like this:
"I never regretted anything I ever did. Just deal with it, Sasuke."
And that interpretation has since turned into a stubborn misbelief within the anti-Itachi part of the fandom, so much so that it has developed a life of its own. People no longer analyze the entire scene but instead, they rip two panels out of context. They no longer quote Itachi's "I have no more regrets" but instead simplify it further to "I have no regrets" as if he never had any regrets, ever.
Don't believe me? Here's a compilation!
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DISCLAIMER: I intentionally did not include sources or usernames in the compilation to avoid unnecessary witch-hunting of people who just didn't know any better or fell victim to Itachi hate propaganda. If you recognize a comment of yours and would instead like to be credited as its author, please let me know.
The Correct Translation
But now, let's take a look at what Itachi was actually meant to say in that scene. I found a Japanese raw and had a friend (who is studying Japanese) translate it for me.
Kana: もうこの世界に未練はない Rōmaji: Mō kono sekai ni miren wanai. English: I have no more attachments to this world.
If you don't believe me, you can literally enter that full sentence into Google Translate and it will provide you with the exact same translation.
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And by now you probably wonder "How the fck did this happen" because the mistranslation appears to change the message of Itachi's words drastically. One speaks of resignation; The other is complacency. What rid the translator here?
Well. The secret lies in the Japanese word 未練 "Miren". It is one of many words in Japanese that express feelings of regret, each with different nuances. 後悔 "Koukai", for example, could have been a perfectly viable option had Itachi meant plain regrets or remorse for his actions. But "Miren" expresses a more complex emotion.
To better understand the meaning of "Miren", I checked three different Japanese-to-English dictionary sites [1] [2] [3]. It translates to a multitude of different words, including "lingering affection", "attachment", "reluctance", "ruefulness", and "regret". When in use, it means a reluctance to abandon or depart from something. I was told that "miren" often appears in the context of breakups, expressing an attachment to a past romance. The regret part refers, in this case, to a life that could have been or once was that you refuse to let go of. Having "Miren" means that you want to stay and that you would regret leaving. Not having any "Miren" means you are ready to move on.
Itachi uses this expression in reference to 世界 "Sekai" (World) to mean that he no longer feels a lingering attachment to the (mortal) world or life itself. He considers his own job done - Not because he thinks himself to have finished the job but instead because he has no belief in his own ability to change things for the better. With nothing left to salvage, he is ready to move on.
It is not that Itachi thinks he is a good person. He is simply just giving up. This becomes more apparent when viewing the line in context.
A Quote Taken Out of Context
What should probably be mentioned as well is that while the "no regrets" translation definitely does Itachi a disservice, haters usually also rip the line out of its original context unnecessarily. Not that I entirely blame them, as the trajectory of both Sasuke's and Itachi's thoughts is not exactly straightforward. Add to that that the butchered translation can easily be twisted to imply a different meaning entirely - especially when followed by the younger Uchiha's reaction - and you might end up interpreting Sasuke's words somewhat like this:
"You have no more regrets? You have been and are aiding the village that ruined you - That ruined me! And it is your fault! How dare you say you don't regret that?! How dare you side with them? How dare you make those your last words?!"
The outrage becomes very pronounced, is what I am saying.
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At first glance, it seems as though Sasuke searches for any signs of his brother's guilt and regret, fishing for an apology, perhaps. But anybody who has paid any attention at all already knows that Itachi has expressed his guilt and regrets multiple times over already.
Aside from being shocked and disheartened to learn that Sasuke has joined the Akatsuki, he consistently frames this turn in Sasuke's path as a result of Itachi's own actions. While, yes, he recognizes "Madara's" involvement in all this, he rather says "It's my fault you became what you are now" and "I turned you into a criminal" than distracting from his own responsibility. And then when Sasuke describes Itachi as "perfect", the one thing that Itachi points out, in order to contradict this notion, is his attempts to manipulate Sasuke, characterizing them as mistakes or a character flaw of his. Itachi even denies himself the right to berate Sasuke for his decisions because he knows the weight of his mistakes.
So no, Sasuke knows that Itachi experienced profound guilt over his actions and feels deep regret - Both for their manipulative nature as well as for the effect they had on Sasuke. Sasuke has no reason to demand an admission of guilt he has already received.
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But then, what does Sasuke want from Itachi? For that, let's take a look at the true context of this scene.
It begins with Sasuke's realization that, with the release of the Edo Tensei, Itachi is going to disappear yet again. Their words are meant to be interpreted somewhat like this:
"The dead revived with Edo Tensei will disappear." "But that means you will leave as well." "I know, but I accept that outcome. Even if it will be the end of me as well, I will have protected Konoha - my homeland. But beyond this, there is nothing else left for me to help with. I have no other purpose in the world of the living."
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And it is not before this that Sasuke has his outburst. Much like Itachi's line about lingering attachments, the intent of Sasuke's words changes now that the mistranslation is out of the way. And much like last time, context reinforces this interpretation of Sasuke's response.
"Why would you sacrifice yourself for Konoha again? What they did was unforgivable! You should want to stay rather than help them at the cost of your life."
Sasuke clearly frames Itachi as the victim in the first part of his outburst. He is angry at Konoha not because of what they did to him but because of what they did to Itachi. He then builds upon that.
"And even if you do forgive, I still won't. I will remain their enemy. You helping Konoha will be futile. I need fixing. You've said it yourself. Both your guilt and the threat I pose should be a lingering attachment to you! So beyond Konoha not deserving your attention, I actually do require it! You are not done in this world yet."
In the second part, Sasuke picks up Itachi's own words and turns them against him. He makes himself out to be both a threat and a mistake to appeal to Itachi's wish to protect Konoha as well as his guilt over failing Sasuke.
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In his mind, he must either convince Itachi that Konoha is not worth saving (and therefore shouldn't come at the cost of Itachi's "life") or remind Itachi that Sasuke should be considered a more important lingering attachment (or rather, unfinished business). The idea is to make one option more appealing than the other by all means necessary. He appeals to Itachi's guilt, potential frustrations, and tries to convince Itachi that helping Konoha will be futile. Upon success, Itachi will stay.
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The reason why is elaborated on in the next chapter. He still needs to learn the truth from Itachi but also he is longing for his older brother that he still feels affection toward. I am not saying that Sasuke's hatred for Konoha doesn't play a role or that he is not indignant over Itachi's dedication to saving the village. It is simply that Sasuke is not just merely having an outburst, as his words are more deliberate and much more thought-out than that, even while wrapped in anger and incomprehension.
Sasuke isn't actually being malicious but desperate instead. Desperate enough to frame his current state of being as something "wrong" that needs Itachi's fixing, if only it means he won't leave. It uncovers an entirely new layer of vulnerability to his character.
Back to Chapter #588, Itachi knows that Sasuke is not looking for an admission of guilt from him. So instead of an apology, Itachi responds with a reason as to why Sasuke doesn't need Itachi anymore, saying he (Itachi) is not the one to change the younger Uchiha. Instead, he believes it is Naruto who can and will stop Sasuke.
Itachi's reasoning here is that he no longer believes himself fit to steer Sasuke onto the right path. The older brother has made too many mistakes to believe himself worthy or competent enough to take on such a role in Sasuke's life. This decision was made more than 30 chapters prior (or more than 200 chapters ago, actually), when Itachi decided to leave Sasuke to Naruto.
(Obviously what is actually going on is that Kishimoto must shoehorn Naruto into the equation, but I am trying to explain Itachi's in-universe reasoning)
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It is certainly a heartbreaking interpretation in which Sasuke seeks justice and wants his brother to understand his crimes, admit to them, and take it all back. One in which, instead of a brother, all he is given is a mindless puppet of Konoha.
However, the true meaning of the scene is that Itachi already has accepted his crimes. He already has sought justice for them. But this acceptance, this guilt, and those regrets are exactly the reason why Itachi is ready to move on. There is nothing keeping him in life because, in his opinion, he isn't worth it. Sasuke, instead, wants for his brother to stay. It is a longing that Itachi cannot fulfill - Not when this selfishness will get people killed or possibly spell the end for Konoha.
Isn't this a tragic way to look at it, too?
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richea · 2 months ago
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[Translation] Kratos of the Expiation: Prologue-Chapter 1 part 1
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This begins my efforts to translate the Tales of Symphonia novel, Shokuzai no Kratos, written by the game's scenario writer, Takumi Miyajima.
Some disclaimers:
I have other projects I'm working on alongside this, so I won't make any promise to get this translated in a timely manner, or that I'll finish it at all (though in a perfect world, I would love to; I had a lot of fun translating this first part!). If I do the whole thing, I'll share my original document, which will have an edited version of the text you'll read below. Think of this as a first draft.
I've never translated a novel before nor am I much of a creative writer, so I apologize in advance if it's an awkward read. I focused heavily on making sure Miyajima's words got across as intended, but given Japanese novels are written differently from English ones, I don't want to put too many words in her mouth here.
The book has 7 chapters and a prologue and epilogue, but as each chapter is really long (about 40 pages each), I'll be sharing the book in its smaller, also numbered parts. So, this is the prologue and part 1/37. My word processor says this alone is around 3300 words.
I want to give a huge thank you to Kevan33 for providing me with scans for this, which allowed me to translate it so much easier.
Without further ado, here's the summary and character introductions, and then the story itself!
Summary
Long ago, Mithos, the hero, brought about the end of the Ancient War in the Holy Ground of Kharlan. As a result, the world was split in two―as Sylvarant and Tethe’alla. However, the worlds exist akin to a waning hourglass, with one of them prospering and the other in decline. It has been 4,000 years since the end of the Ancient War, and now Sylvarant is on the path to ruin, as it has run low on its life-sustaining mana. It is in these circumstances that Kratos will descend unto Sylvarant and have a fateful, unexpected reunion! This is a side story which tells Kratos’ side of the story, who was a key character in the original game. The feelings he’s hidden in his heart will finally be revealed to all!
Cast
Kratos Aurion: This story’s protagonist. A traveling mercenary and remarkable swordsman who was hired to protect Colette on her journey. His true identity is one of the Four Heroes who ended the Ancient War 4,000 years ago, as well as an angel of Cruxis―one of the Four Seraphim.
Lloyd Irving: A young man from the village of Iselia. His grades in school are poor, but he’s quick-witted and good at making the right decision on the fly. Due to certain circumstances, he accompanies Colette on her Journey of World Regeneration.
Yggdrasill: The leader of Cruxis and one of the members of the Four Seraphim. He is Mithos the Hero who brought about the end of the Ancient War, as well as the person who split the world in two, orchestrating this system the world currently runs by.
Yuan Ka-Fai: Leader of the Renegades, which opposes Cruxis. He was one of the Four Heroes and is one of the Four Seraphim.
Martel Yggdrasill: Yggdrasill’s sister. She died 4,000 years ago when humans betrayed and killed her.
Genis Sage: A best friend of Lloyd and Colette. One of the smartest people in his village. He uses magic.
Raine Sage: Genis’ sister. She’s the only teacher in Iselia, so everyone calls her Professor.
Colette Brunel: Sylvarant’s Chosen. She leaves her hometown to go on the Journey of World Regeneration.
Zelos Wilder: Tethe’alla’s Chosen. He hangs around with Lloyd’s group as a spy for Cruxis.
Prologue
The boy introduced himself as Lloyd Irving.
We met in the small, remote village of Iselia. Back when the Sylvarant Dynasty held its rule, it was a prospering village deemed as the headquarters of the Church of Martel. Now it’s but a desolate village, with such a tale only to be seen as an attraction at best.
There were a number of things that led to this state. What brought about the fall of the Sylvarant Dynasty was a decrease in the world’s life-sustaining mana. This led to environmental changes, poor crops, and eventually poverty to the people. Iselia was not the only place that was affected by these changes. The land of Sylvarant―once famed as a kingdom of its own right―slowly slipped down the path of desolation.
What spurred this series of events was a group known as the Desians. The organization, rumored to consist primarily of half-elves, is known to kidnap people from all over the world and place them in institutions known as human ranches. While it’s unknown to the common folk what takes place in these institutions, fear is struck in the hearts of those who see the Desians, as it is fabled by the Church of Martel that the end of the world is coming should they lurk around.
Yes; Sylvarant is on the path of desolation. Within these circumstances, there exists the promised land of Iselia, which is the only place in which salvation may be brought about. The hope for this world is being fostered within Iselia’s land.
The sound of grass being trampled from far away could be heard. It was such a quiet sound, unable to be picked up by human ears.
Kratos Aurion slowly opened his eyes. Deep within the forest, the distant shadows of the leaves shook.
Are you coming, Lloyd?
Thinking of him, Kratos found himself oddly content. A sense of relief washed over him, that finally, the end was approaching. He felt elated, though could not place a finger on why. He had regained his sense of hope, which he had been convinced was long gone. However, the important step in achieving said hope was yet to come.
The footsteps grew louder. At this, all of the forest dwellers collectively fled in response. They could tell that within this tranquil forest, something big was about to happen.
The air seemed to turn tense as a mass of figures approached. A group of eight―all being different ages and genders―approached with stern looks on their faces. The one leading the pact was Lloyd.
The boy’s name seemed ordinary enough, but to Kratos it held deeper meaning. “Irving” was the surname of his late wife. “Lloyd” was the name of the child Kratos thought to have lost.
Lloyd and his friends were on a journey to carry out what they believed to be world salvation.
I wonder if they've brought about salvation yet?
No. The end hasn’t even begun yet.
Kratos rose and approached Lloyd and his friends, in order to see their “salvation” through to the end.
Chapter 1
Part 1 of 6
It’s a wonder just how many people would believe it if they were told the world had been split into two. Many would likely laugh it off, claiming it to be a fairy tale. The land seems unsifted, and there’s no crevices to be seen after all. Nobody would dare suggest the moon in the sky is actually another planet, would they?
Even a fairy tale would require an allegory to hold its basis.
The truth of the matter is that the world had been split in two. The dimensional rift had been cut through, pushing the planets into an orbit. The two worlds exist on a plane together, never to see or touch the other. Despite this, the two worlds do in fact coexist alongside each other. One of these worlds is, for convenience, known as Sylvarant. This world was ruled by the old Sylvarant Kingdom and its allied nations. The other is Tethe’alla. Like with Sylvarant, this world too was ruled by the kingdom of Tethe’alla, and got its name as such.
“These two worlds, as well as our planet of Derris-Kharlan, are ruled by Lord Yggdrasill.”
The angel known as Adol was explaining the structure of Cruxis to a group of newly awakened angels. Kratos was watching them through a monitor, and shook his head exhaustedly.
This was a ritual he had seen far too many times at this point. Over the course of 4,000 years, here on Derris-Kharlan, he had watched as a number of living beings known as angels were born. No, perhaps that’s not the right way to describe it―he had watched as many people had undergone a transformation to turn into the lifeless beings known as angels.
Thankfully, the number wasn’t too high. A tool known as the Cruxis Crystal was required to turn people into angels, of which there weren’t many to spare. With them being so scarce and precious, only selected individuals were allowed to become angels. From there, the angels would undergo special training and become soldiers, fighting to support Cruxis.
Kratos was one of those angels himself. He had a different position than the other angels, however. He was famed as one of the Four Seraphim, the highest rank within Cruxis, and operated directly under the world’s leader―Mithos Yggdrasill.
“Through the Church of Martel, our job is to guide the people of both Sylvarant and Tethe’alla. This does not only apply to half-elves, but extends to elves and humans alike. We will guide them down the proper path, to one day make our Age of Lifeless Beings a reality. A great weight lies upon all of your shoulders.”
Not a single person was moved by Adol’s words. At first, lifeless beings―rather, angels―have their emotions almost entirely suppressed. It takes great strength and time to gain control over those emotions once more. There are some who go the rest of their lives never regaining theirs.
“Lord Kratos.”
An angel appeared on his projector―one with white wings. Kratos instantly identified him as an inexperienced angel. When a person turns into an angel, numerous functions of their body undergo a change. One of these is adjusting the distribution of mana in the body to produce wings, allowing them to pull them out as needed in order to fly. However, if one uses their wings too much, their bodily mana materializes the wings and makes it a permanent part of the body. One of the key functions of turning into an angel is being able to control various bodily functions, though the reality of it is that many are unable to control them properly. A large number of the angels within Cruxis have wings like the man Kratos sees here.
“What is it?”
“Lord Yggdrasill has summoned you.”
“...Understood.”
The messenger angel bowed and disappeared. Kratos turned off the video on his monitor and left his office.
A throne of darkness, suspended in the empty sky. What you’ll find in the deepest part of Derris-Kharlan―far beyond Welgaia, where Cruxis’ angels live―is Vinheim. This was where the castle of Yggdrasill, the man who split the worlds into two and ruler of both, resided.
As Kratos stepped towards the throne, Yggdrasill leaned on the armrest as a calm smile crawled onto his face.
“You’ve come, Kratos.”
That languid voice of his was the same as ever. It was the same as it was when Kratos defected 70 years ago. Though the light in his green eyes shone differently than normal.
“Kratos Aurion, reporting for duty.”
Kratos stepped closer to the throne and kneeled in front of it. This exchange of formalities was something he had done in submission to the man over the course of the past 15 years.
“There’s no need for such formalities. I called you here today to talk about our past.”
At this, Kratos’ leader―rather, the leader of the entire world―Yggdrasill suddenly rose to his feet.
“Do you remember the day we first met, Kratos?”
As Kratos nodded, the man famed as a ruler effortlessly changed his form. His once tall figure shrunk in the blink of an eye, and his limbs shrunk with it.
“It was in the imperial capital of Tethe’alla. I was still a child, who knew no fear and who truly believed in the goodness of humanity. Since the worlds had yet to be split, the two countries ravaged in a revolting, long-lasting war.”
What stood before Kratos wasn’t the beautiful young man who was a ruler. It was a petite 14-year-old boy.
Seeing this transformation always horrified Kratos. What he feared wasn’t Yggdrasill, but instead the lifeless beings known as Cruxis Crystals, which allowed the body to transform in such a way.
When the elves in ancient times moved from Derris-Kharlan to the earth, they first planted the Giant Kharlan Tree―the source of mana―and then brought along many crafts and techniques. One of those was the material known as Exspheres. However, over the course of 5,000 years, the knowledge of their intended use and what they were originally made for became lost to time. All that was left was the knowledge that they were advanced beings. They became known as a thing that could protect its user and elevate their abilities to the maximum. Such a thing was then turned into weapons of combat during the Kharlan Wars, which occurred 5,000 years ago.
What brewed was an intermittent yet vicious conflict between Sylvarant and Tethe’alla. In order to get the upper hand, both sides developed magitechnology based weapons, and research developments led to Exspheres finding new use cases. Cruxis Crystals were developed in order to allow soldiers who equipped them to become even stronger and turn into angels. Those who equipped Cruxis Crystals would undergo a physical, battle-ready transformation into an angel, allowing them to also manipulate their hearing, vision, and sense of pain at will. On top of this, those with a strong compatibility with the crystals would be able to control their internal clock at will.
The ability to change one’s internal clock―what a terrifying thing that was. It almost felt as if people had reached into god’s domain. Yes, the boy with the innocent-looking smile on his face that currently stood in front of him had violated god’s domain.
“What’s wrong, Kratos?”
Yggdrasill tilted his head at Kratos, whose face was warped with agony.
“Watching me change form surely isn’t that surprising. Or does it hurt to see me in this form?”
Kratos cast his eyes downward.
It’d be a lie to deny such a thing. The young boy in front of him now looked exactly like the Mithos Yggdrasill he had traveled with so long ago. Some part of Kratos tried hard to separate the two in his head―Mithos, the young boy who worked tirelessly to save the world and was famed as a hero, and Mithos, the young man who fell into despair and cast away his humanity in favor of playing a poor imitation at god.
This was pure sophistry. Kratos knew this. However, it’s all he could manage to give himself even a little peace of mind. He didn’t need to slip further and make any more mistakes.
“I see. So it does hurt you. If you really feel that way, you surely won’t betray me again, right?”
He said this in a fondly-remembered tone of voice, and it felt like something was stabbing Kratos’ heart.
“Back then, you resigned as a knight for the Tethe’alla Kingdom and joined up with us. It was you who said you’d make a place where all of us half-elves could live in peace, and that to that end, your power was ours to use however fit.”
“...Indeed I did say that.”
“Then surely you know where I’m going with this. The Age of Lifeless Beings I’m creating will rid all of the discrimination half-elves face. It’ll be a utopia where everyone can live in peace.”
Facing the ground, Kratos debated on whether or not to voice the words that were forming deep in his throat. Mithos paid it no heed and continued on.
“Soon, Sylvarant’s Chosen will receive the oracle.”
At this, Kratos snapped his head up. Yggdrasill smiled at him like an angel. Well, he was an angel, in a literal sense.
“This Chosen of Regeneration is a 99.999999999% match. This is even closer than the Chosen Spiritua was. This time, we’ll succeed. My sister will finally be revived.”
The revival of Yggdrasill’s sister―Martel Yggdrasill―held a lot of meaning. The reason the world was still split into two was all for Martel’s sake. One huge mistake made 4,000 years ago changed everything.
When the elves planted the Giant Kharlan Tree on this world, mana brought forth lifeforms and completely changed the nature of the planet. Mana was used to power magic and magitechnology, and before long, mana itself had been overused. This overuse led to the fountain of all life, the Giant Kharlan Tree, withering.
“We were only ever fighting to save the Giant Kharlan Tree. We got our hands on the Great Seed, and were going to plant it to bring forth a new tree. But of course, humans wanted to hog the mana all for themselves, and they killed my sister, who was protecting the seed...”
Mithos’ tranquil face warped with hatred and disgust.
“But I’m so nice that I’m allowing those vermin to live. In fact, I’m such a nice guy, I’m even inviting them into my Age of Lifeless Beings. I’ve given them the compromise of a lifetime, Kratos. Martel exists as part of the Great Seed. The Great Seed is Martel herself. If I was any meaner, I would never share the mana from the Great Seed with those disgusting humans. But I’ve gone ahead and split the world into two, so that they can share the mana that comes from it.”
“Thanks to your system, one world is always suffering, while the other is prospering.”
“That’s what the Chosen is for. The Journey of Regeneration is one that reverses the flow of mana. When one world weakens, the mana from that world flows to the other. It’s like an hourglass. This is all we can do to keep our precious supply of mana from running out completely. You said you were on board with this, did you not?”
“Yes, as a temporary solution―”
“Oh, and it is temporary, I assure you. I already promised you―when my sister is revived, I’ll return the world back to normal. When she has a new body, there will be no need to protect the Great Seed as I am now. I’ll reunite the worlds into one and germinate the seed, allowing the Giant Kharlan Tree to grow. Then, my discrimination-free Age of Lifeless Beings will be born on earth...”
Mithos sat down on his throne, still in his child form. The throne was far too large for such a tiny body. Realizing this filled Kratos with a strange sense of sorrow.
“This Journey of Regeneration is not allowed to fail. If it does, we’ll lose the vessel for Martel’s soul, and this will spring us into another indefinite time frame of trying to make another. If that happens, the joined world you wish for so badly will be a long, long way off. So nobody is allowed to get in our way. Not even those rats.”
“You refer to the Renegades, I presume?”
“Yes. They camouflage themselves as Desians and do all sorts of things. You know of them?”
“I’ve received reports of them infiltrating all of the human ranches and stealing Exspheres.”
“Such a slacker, aren’t you, Kratos? Rats are to be exterminated.”
“I am sorry.”
“It’s fine. What they do matters little to me. Their tendency to kill Chosens is pesky, though. Therefore, I want you to escort this next Chosen for me. Protect her, guide her, and help her through the angel transformation as smoothly as possible.”
“I’m the overseer of Sylvarant, though. If I were to go on the Journey of Regeneration, I wouldn’t be around to have Pronyma put the Desians into motion.”
“I will handle that myself. Protecting the Chosen is our top priority. Surely you know this. Following my orders is what will allow you to see your dreams come true.”
To return the world to its proper state―this required fulfilling Mithos’ wish of reviving Martel, and it was the correct path to take. No; perhaps he had just lost the will to choose another path. Kratos had no means of defying such a path.
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ooffmlsorry · 1 year ago
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Bringing Law Home for a Family Holiday
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Readers' Note: Reader has a large and generally good but overbearing family. Only happy things in this, little to no angst!
A/N: Every holiday I get struck with the desire to write my latest blorbo coming home with their s/o for the holidays. I don't have time to crack out 10-15k words so this is probs gonna be more stream of consciousness but it'll get the point across.
I've been imagining how tense the travel to Law's s/o's house is because God forbid y'all be late because Law wants to make a good impression no matter how many times you explain it's a very loose 4 p.m. arrival time.
You've been dating for long enough that you think it's reasonable for him to meet your family (that was enough to make Law's heart flutter and then start hammering...could it be you're just as serious about him as he is about you?)
"My aunt showed up at noon and my cousin's probably not going to be here until after dark, really it's fine!" You'd insist. "Besides, the people that show up on time are the ones that end up having to go back out because someone forgot something!"
And of course Law would say "that's fine." With a such a stubborn and determined tone. Being on time or a few minutes early is better than being late! Suddenly your man is a rule follower! 🤭Suddenly you can picture Law as he was a kid studious and button-ed up in his little doctor's uniform. It's almost kind of cute if he wasn't so nervous.
The closest thing to family Law has is Bepo, Shachi and Penguin. Not since the Donquixote family has Law had anything to do with that word and he's so nervous he feels sick. For Law this translate to acting like he has the world's biggest cactus shoved up his ass, and you know that so you try not to take his coolness personally.
Holding his hand helps a little though. You ignore how shaky and sweaty it is.
He's feeling a lot of big feelings right now, poor guy.
He insisted on you giving him a "family tree" when he realized how big your family is and a list of things not to accidentally mention or do. He's been studying it for days, re-reading it over and over obsessively.
The fact that he's a pirate is fine, which takes a lot of pressure off. You come from a family full of pirates, so you swear Law will fit right in. Although you warn him your grandfather's probably going to start reminiscing about how he knew Gol D. Roger as a kid (which no one knows if that's actually true) and ranting about the young pirates these days.
You'd walk up to your family home high on a hill over looking the sea. From several yards away you can already hear music. You realize as you get closer it's more like you're dragging Law more than he's walking with you.
It's subconscious lol. I promise you he's not doing it on purpose. As soon as you notice it he speaks, "I'm fine."
Poor Traffy is so pale!
His tone dares you to question him, almost as if to actually say "I'm fine, if I wasn't I wouldn't be here Y/N. Please trust me to be honest with you about how I'm feeling." But that's a lot of words for someone who's mouth is cotton dry. He's trying his best, so you give him a quick kiss on the cheek for courage and walk up to the house together.
The first thing your family comments on when you open the door is how early you are despite the fact that it's three minutes to 4:00.
"We weren't expecting Y/N for another hour!" Your aunt winks at Law and nudges him, no introduction, no nothing, and says "you must really be something special if you can get them here to early!"
Despite Law's best efforts, having one of your family members immediately point out his supposed specialness to you makes blush and stutter.
It doesn't matter how awkward his no response of blinking at your aunt was because she's already gone flitting around with an arm full of what your family calls "the good plates."
You pull Law down to whisper in his ear, "told you we'd be early," you giggle.
It's not the nicest house, but it is big, and warm, and festive. Just standing in the doorway taking it in Law's struck with the remembrance of home. He tries to only focus on the present, not Swallow Island, Spider Miles, or even Flevance, your home is good..for today. But tomorrow he'll back at his home: the Polar Tang.
You introduce him to what little family is already there. Your heart squeezes at the way Law awkwardly waves at the baby your cousin's bouncing on his lap and the surprise that quickly turns into a soft smile that spreads across his lips when the baby coos back.
He meets your grandpa, who appraises him very officially. You swear to God Law's holding his breath as the stout man with a peg leg circles him with his arms behind his back. "Trafalgar Law, hmm..." he says very seriously. "You know back in my day pirates didn't all these tattoos to prove they were tough."
"I heard your day was quite a long time ago," Law says almost automatically. In for a penny, in for a pound, he doubles down, adding "sir" at the end.
That would be your boyfriend hehe. Too sharp for his own good.
Of course that's what your grandfather likes. He shakes Law's hand and pulls him into a crushing hug. Your grandpa promises later he's got words for him (ie. the shovel talk). It's a little disturbing how comfortable Law feels knowing he'll be threatened with an unspeakably awful death later. That's the most familiar thing that has happened all day. lol
But he knows the person he needs to impart the best impression on is your grandmother. You don't think you've ever seen Law so perfectly polite in your life....which makes your grandmother howl with laughter! "My ass whooping days are over, boy! Relax!" Her frail hands clutch her stomach as she laughs. She wipes a tear from her eyes, "I thought you said he was a pirate?!" She pats Law on the cheek like he's a sweet little boy (because at her old age 26 is a little boy) and gives it a squeeze. And because it's your grandma, he lets her.
You have to hide your laughter behind your hand.
"He's a sweet boy, Y/N," she says to you. "And so handsome! Where were all the good-looking men like him when I was at sea?"
"I killed 'em all!" Your grandpa yells across the house.
And just like that, Law's in your grandmother's good graces. Of course you knew he would be.
True to your word earlier, you get sent in to town to pick up a short list of last minute things. It's a nice moment to breathe. As soon as you're far enough from the house you wrap your arms around him and kiss him deeply.
"I'm so happy they like you," you say quietly once you come up for air. You don't tease him about how strange it is to see him hoping for someone's approval like you would in most circumstances. Instead you feel yourself melt, "I knew they would, but now you believe me?"
"They like me for now," he says because god forbid he go easy on himself.
"You're not as hard to love as you think you are, Law." You press another kiss to his lips.
(A/N: ooh chile lemme tell you, for saying that right there that man is going to romantically rail you within an inch of your life when y'all get back to the ship. That is the only way I can convey to you how much you saying that means to him. He's speechless.)
By time y'all get back there are a lot more people here and it's a lot louder. Your brother asks Law about a rash on elbow (at the dinner table no less, but hey these are pirates!) and he actually gives him advice.
Law meets your little cousins, who ask him a million questions including but not limited to:
"Why do you wears that funny looking hat?"
"Are you actually a surgeon?"
"Does getting a tattoo hurt?"
"Can you give me a tattoo?"
"How many Marines have you killed?"
"Are the Straw Hat Pirates really that strong?"
"Do you really have a polar bear on your ship?"
"Are you and Y/N ever gonna have a baby?"
To which Law responds:
"Who said it was funny looking?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know. I don't feel pain." you thought this man would take their questions seriously?
"Surgeons aren't allowed to do that. My hands will fall off if I do."
"Definitely more than you."
"As strong as they are stupid."
"Yeah, he's our navigator."
".........I think I heard someone calling you from the kitchen."
Your little cousins think "he's weird funny." He does "surgery" on the dolls your cousins offer up to him and thoroughly enjoy the weird monstrosities he creates. And Your moody teenage nephew deems Law "cool."
Your mom insists Law's too skinny for his own good and piles more food on his plate. "If you're going to survive out there you need some meat on your bones! I wanna see you here next year, Trafalgar."
Law almost chokes. Your mom already wants him back next year. He was expecting to have to get her approval somehow too, but she's accepted him immediately. "All I needed to know is if you make my little Y/N happy!" Your mom explains while hugging you, "And look how happy they are!"
And your old man, a pirate captain in his own right, several beers deep, slings his arm over Law's shoulder. "You're the one that's got that big ol' bounty, huh?" Before Law can fully answer, he continues on drunkenly, "that means you probably looted enough to cover your own wedding, right? Cause I'm sure's shit not." God bless Law for taking it with a grain of salt and taking him over to a couch. "That means you can marry 'em if ya want, as'long as I don' havta pay none. But if you break their heart I'll turn ya in myself...goddamn Marines...making me a traitor..." he says until his words turn into drunk muttering.
"That's your blessing in case you were wondering," your mom sighs. "I know you didn't ask but that was it. That man is fine with anything as long as he doesn't have to pay for it."
"You get my blessing because you helped clean up!" Your grandma pipes in. "Nothing more valuable than a man that knows how clean up after himself!"
I don't know how many times Law is rendered speechless for a moment. Was it that easy or was your family truly that accepting? In a handful of hours he's been completely welcomed and they want him to come back next year, to marry you? It's dizzying, but in a...hopeful way? Because...he wants it to happen too...if he's lucky enough to come back next year as your husband.
At the end of the night, you and Law are sent on your way with tons of food to bring back to Heart Pirates, and whether he likes it or not your mom and your grandma each press a kiss to Law's cheek.
You walk back down the hill together.
"It was good to see them again," you say. "Was that too much?"
"No," Law says. "I'm happy."
A/N: so yeah, I just had that bumbling around in my head today. I hope it was fluffy enough for ya! 😘
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