#I've only got one more page in my backlog...

[echoes-in-echoclan]

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

SHE'S ALIVE

Moon 0 

Moon 42.2 - Moon 43

[ladykailitha]

Paper Hearts Part 1

Remember how my posting schedule was going to be based on strictly vibes from now on? Yeah this is why. I have three chapters of this completed and only two of most everything else because I hurt my right wrist on Wednesday evening (I think I overextended my elbow and it fucked up the tendons in my wrist, because I've done that before on my arm and it feels like that).

So instead of getting more work done on stuff that is literally paragraphs away from the end of the chapter I'm having to tap into my backlog. Which is what it's for. But it is annoying.

I am also aware it's nearly May, but my muse was never one for sense.

Summary: Hawkins High is selling paper hearts to help raise for senior prom. $3 for red romantic hearts and $1 for pink friendship hearts. Steve hasn't dated anyone since the horrific breakup with Nancy on Halloween and so he decides that he's going to send pink hearts to senior girls who wouldn't normally get any hearts at all. When Eddie hears about this he can't help be intrigued. It goes against his very well curated Munson Doctrine. But as events keep throwing them together, Eddie learns there is more to King Steve then meets the eye.

Also a note: the use of the other's last name when it's their point of view is deliberate. As they get to know each other more, the more first names get used.

****

Steve was staring at the huge sign with a sense of dread. In big pink and white letters on a red background screamed the words:

PAPER HEARTS FOR YOUR VALENTINE $1 FOR PINK FRIENDSHIP HEARTS $3 FOR RED ROMANTIC HEARTS ALL PROCEEDS GO TO CLASS OF 1985 SENIOR BALL

Valentine’s Day. That time of year for lovers and romantics. That used to be him. But not since Nancy broke his heart by breaking up with him for Jonathan Byers.

There would be no paper hearts in locker this year. Not even pink ones. Nancy had well and truly blown up his life and she got to walk away scott free.

He didn’t know what to do anymore. He pinched his nosed and rubbed the end. He wasn’t going to cry in the middle of the fucking main hall of Hawkins High.

Just before he was about to start moving again someone shoulder checked him, sending back to the floor and all his stuff sprawling around it like some fucked flower.

“Watch it, Harrington!” the voice growled as whoever it was sped off down the hall.

Steve didn’t even bother looking to see who it was. It could have been anyone these days. His former friends. Billy and his ilk. Hell, even the nerds and geeks got in on the action lately.

He knelt down to start cleaning it up when someone else kicked his books toward the lockers. He managed to get most of it picked up when he reached for the last notebook. Someone stepped on his hand and ground down, hurting Steve and ripping the cover off the notebook, crinkling the first couple of pages.

He shoved it into his bag and cradled his hand to his chest. He looked at his watch and sighed. Lunch was nearly over and he hadn’t even made it to the cafeteria yet.

There was nothing for it, he had to get to his next class. He walked into the class room just as the bell rang, but instead of heading for his usual spot near the front he made for the back of the class. There were always a few empty seats around Munson. The guy was terrifying on a good day.

And Steve hoped it was a good day.

****

Eddie made to class on time by the skin of his teeth. He slid through door just as the bell rang above his head. He was about to lope over to his usual spot in the back when he stopped dead in his tracks.

He looked up at the front at the deliberately left open seat and back at the seat next to his with a raised eyebrow. He wisely said nothing as he flopped into the torture device known as the chesk. Dair? Whatever the hell it was called where some unspeakable horror thought to combine a desk and a chair.

Eddie glanced sidelong at his new companion. The recently deposed king of Hawkins High sat slumped in his chesk, head down, just staring at its surface as if held the meaning to life the universe and everything.

Which if Harrington asked him, he would have been told forty-two.

He pulled out his notebook and noticed that Harrington did not do the same. Curiouser and curiouser. He pulled out a pencil and settled in to avoid falling to sleep today.

He was taking notes and doing the assignment like he was supposed to when about half way through class the teacher called out to him.

“Mr. Harrington!” she shrieked. “If you are going to be sitting in the back, please have the decency to pay attention in class!”

A couple of kids snickered.

“You were talking about how the Fool is used to lighten the absolutely horrific scene above him of Lady Macbeth as she tries to get blood out of her gown,” he muttered, scratching his cheek with his left hand.

That was when the teacher and Eddie noticed the same thing at the same time.

Harrington was cradling his right hand to his chest.

“Mr. Harrington is there something wrong with your right hand?”

“I accidentally hurt it during lunch,” he said with wince.

The teacher tapped her foot and crossed her arms. “And why didn’t you see the nurse?”

“It happened right before class,” Harrington muttered, “and I didn’t want to be late.”

The teacher huffed and shook her head. “I will give you note for your next teacher, but you will see the nurse after class, am I understood?”

He nodded.

“Mr. Munson,” she cried out, shrill. “If you’ll share your notes with Mr. Harrington after class so he does not fall behind.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He continued to keep an eye on Harrington throughout the whole class but whenever their English teacher tried to catch him out, she would fail every time.

When the bell rang Eddie started shoving his stuff into his backpack. “You sure you even need my notes, Harrington? That was pretty impressive shit you pulled out of your ass today.”

Harrington just shrugged. “Just because I was paying attention doesn’t mean it won’t bleed out of my ears with all the algebra and chemistry stuff I have later.”

Eddie winced in sympathy. “Yeah, I hear that. What’s your locker number and I’ll just slip a copy of my notes in the slots.”

“323B.”

“They got you on a lower locker?” he asked with a grimace. “That’s jacked up. Even Mr. Super Senior here got a top locker. Does the secretary hate you or some shit?”

Again Harrington shrugged. “I’ve got to go. I’ll catch you later.”

Eddie folded his arms at looked at him. “You’re not going to the nurse’s station, are you?”

This time it was Harrington who winced.

“That’s what I thought,” he huffed. “I’m walking you to said nurse’s station because it could be broken and if you don’t get that looked at, you’ll be in more than just a world of hurt, man. You could fuck up your hand for life and you wouldn’t be able to anything in that hand ever again.”

Steve’s eyes went wide as all color drained from his face.

“Shit.”

Eddie grabbed both of their backpacks and headed for the door. “Yeah, shit.”

Harrington hurried to catch up, hand still cradled to his chest.

“How did you know that could happen to my hand?” he asked softly.

Eddie eyed him sidelong, but the kid wasn’t being an ass. In fact he would say Harrington was being earnest.

“My uncle works at the machinist plant up the road,” Eddie explained. “One of his buddies broke his hand on the machine and refused to get it looked at. Guess how well that worked?”

“Was it the plant’s fault?” Harrington asked. Eddie cocked his head to the side. “That you uncle’s friend got hurt?”

Eddie reared his head back in shock that Harrington would even ask.

“No, man,” he said shaking his head. “He was goofing off, being a dick. Uncle Wayne always said that if you knock on every door asking for the devil, one day he’s gonna answer.”

“What happens when the devil comes looking for you?” Harrington muttered to himself and Eddie couldn’t help but wonder what this kid had seen.

Because he knows haunted. And Harrington looks like he has an attic full of ghosts.

Once they got to the nurse’s station Eddie waited for him. When the other boy came out he asked how it went.

“She says it doesn’t feel broken,” he huffed. “But that if it doesn’t improve over the weekend after icing at least three times a day, to come back on Monday and she’ll order an x-ray.”

Eddie nodded. “Right. See you around, Harrington.”

He had barely turned around when Harrington called out to him. “Wait!”

Eddie turned back around to have a piece of paper shoved into his hand. “I got the nurse to excuse us both.”

And before he could even reply the other boy was tearing off down the hall as if the devil himself was chasing him.

And after that comment he’d heard, Eddie couldn’t be sure he wasn’t.

****

Steve was curled up on his bed, icing his hand, staring up at the ceiling, and wondering where the fuck his life had gone so wrong.

Okay so he could answer that one, actually. Demogorgon ate his girlfriend’s best friend while in his backyard. While him and said girlfriend were having sex for the first time.

Yeah... that was all kinds of fucked up.

He still couldn’t believe that Nancy sided with Jonathan about him taking pictures of their first time.

So now Valentine’s Day was two week away and he was dateless, friendless, and unpopular. He wished he could just be called a loner. But a loner was cool and Steve wasn’t even that anymore.

He just had to make until the end of may and then he could graduate, leaving this town in his rearview mirror for good.

Steve knew that he would have to struggle through this fucking holiday and Senior prom then it would be smooth sailing from there.

He had all this money that he would normally spend on his girlfriends, but now he didn’t even have that. He supposed he could blow it all on beer and weed and then he could enjoy the weekend for a change.

Steve sat up suddenly, the ice pack falling from his hand to hit the floor with sploosh!

Now that was an idea.

He still had one thing in the school that was nonpareil and that was gossip. In fact, it was easier to hear all the dirty little secrets because no one cared if he was standing there.

A smile spread over his face.

That could actually work. It would be a great way to spend his allowance and it would be fun.

He got up and put the ice pack back in the freezer. He couldn’t do anything about it right then but once his hand was better he would formulate his little plan.

Steve was suddenly excited for the first time since he dropped Dustin off at the middle school’s Snow Ball.

He was going to make this holiday fun even if he had to manufacture the fun himself.

****

Eddie was pissed. A little at himself, but mostly at how Harrington was being treated.

He had to sit through lunch and listen a bunch of stupid jocks brag about stomping on Harrington’s hand when he was trying to pick up his stuff off the floor in the hallway yesterday.

They had been hoping for an actual break, but the asshole thought he’d only bruised it.

The reason Eddie was a little mad at himself for this was because he was the one that had shoulder checked Harrington. He had only been trying to get the guy out of his daze. Not send his shit flying.

And then to have someone deliberately stepping on his hand. Fuck. Not even Hagan ever went that far.

Stev–Harrington didn’t deserve that kind of bullying. No one did.

But he could see the twisted sort of appeal, though. And fuck if that didn’t make his stomach turn.

To see the deposed king and want to mock that? Want to dig the hurt in as deep as he could? To drive home the lesson that popularity was fleeting and that existence was a curse?

Yeah, Eddie could see the appeal.

But he wouldn’t. He might make fun of literally everyone and everything but his own interests, but to make turn that into actual cruelty? That was were he drew the line in the sand.

He went home feeling sick to his stomach. And of course Wayne picked up on it immediately.

He jutted his chin at the chicken and rice on Eddie plate that he had only merely pushed around with his fork.

“What’s got you so twisted around the bend?”

Eddie put his fork down and hid his mouth with his clasped hands, elbows on the table.

“I fucked up today,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean for it to go as it did.”

“What did you do?”

So Eddie told him. “I wasn’t trying to hurt him, but he got hurt anyway.”

“That does sound pretty bad,” Wayne agreed. “And as you say, you were trying to help only for it to go very awry. And since you didn’t about it until after the fact you couldn’t apologize and that’s what’s eating you up inside.”

Eddie nodded around his fists, his lower lip quivering.

“You’ll just have to find a way to apologize on Monday,” Wayne said wisely.

Eddie sighed. It was the best he could do. It wasn’t as though he could call the guy up or show up at his house. The first because he didn’t have the guy’s number and the second because he’d get the cops called on him so fast by the neighbors.

It would just have to wait until Monday.

****

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

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[beryllineart]

The Cost of Mercy

This is my 100th post, I wanted to do something special and I liked this idea. It was not originally going to be this long. (20 pages! Wow!)

Because this took me half a month to create, I think I'll probably do a little "making of" post just to discuss how the end result differed from my original plans for this comic. I wish I could say I have a backlog of art to post, but I don't, and this comic might have given me burnout.

Ughhhh, my stupid brain has been telling me non-stop how "talentless" I am and how all of my drawings look terrible and that made making this comic an uphill battle. But I did it, and I hope that eventually I can feel proud of it. In the meantime, I think I need to do a couple of art tutorials so my brain actually acknowledges that I've been improving.

(Update: took a break between page 10 and 11 which improved my mental state, I still feel it's important to acknowledge that time of low self esteem and how I pushed through it. Also, I learned what a pen stabilizer was on page 12.)

I deserve a small ramble about this comic, right? Actually, it's pretty much as long as the comic itself, so you have been warned.

Yeah, so, this was inspired by my Susie vs. Lancer comic. In that, Susie does not admit her vulnerability to herself in time and that leads to her making a mistake she regrets. I wanted to show Asriel showing false vulnerability (my headcanon of him being an actor coming into play here) and creating a betrayal similar to Susie's, only this one was on purpose.

"But Beryll," I hear you say, "doesn't Asriel think Frisk is Chara? Why on earth would Asriel kill his best friend?" Well, besides the fact that a) Asriel is both a god of hyperdeath and a LV 9999 maniac b) he's already killed Frisk dozens of times in this battle alone and c) the image of black silhouettes on a red background with a glowing white sword is too cool to pass up, I have a little interaction I couldn't fit in the comic that should explain things.

That's my way of reconciling the whole "I thought you were Chara" thing when Chara and Frisk do not physically look alike at all. Remember, Flowey's genocide dialogue in the Ruins says, "I have a plan to become all powerful. Even more powerful than you and your stolen soul." Meaning that he knows this human physically is not Chara come back to life, but something in their mannerisms or something is so similar to Chara that Flowey convinces himself that they are. And in this comic, Asriel was so desperate for Chara to remember him that he takes Frisk's soul for himself, in the hopes that when they are reunited Chara will come back as well. (And he had to get up close and personal because of the soul's annoying tendency to crack before he can take it, also, glowing white sword. That's why I don't show the heart as broken on page 4, even though that would give the off the "dead" vibes more clearly.)

And now we come to the part where he says, "Hey, remember that time you wanted to kill all of those humans? Want to try again?" I think Flowey has been holding on to the whole "kill or be killed" mentality because he thinks it was his fault that he and Chara died. He fears being weak and being a coward, which is why he became a sadistic LV 9999 psychopath. Again, the whole acting headcanon thing that I rambled about in a different post.

Asriel's last memories of being with Chara are of feeling Chara's anger towards the humans, and when they finally reunite, he can't accept that, as a ghost, Chara learned to let go of that anger, having realized their own mistakes and realizing that it was their anger that got them into trouble. But Asriel has been holding on to that anger that wasn't even his own, all because he believes that it was his fault that they both died, since he fought against that anger.

So yeah, Asriel and Flowey's strongest emotions are actually guilt. Flowey's got a bit of survivor's guilt because he was brought back, albeit as a flower. But most of the guilt comes from convincing himself that it was his fault he and Chara died. That guilt causes him to reject all of the positive emotions that come his way and hold on to the hurt for so long that he hardly realizes it's there, causing that empty feeling that he thinks is a lack of emotions. But if he ever managed to actually let go of his guilt, he would realize that he actually can feel emotions. I have never believed that soulless = emotionless, given the way Flowey acts.

I just want to say, when Asriel resets in this comic, I'm definitely imagining a thing like when Majora's Mask Link plays the Song of Time, where all of the souls are leaving him like Link's items leave as he falls through the void, finally waking up as Flowey. Also, from a mechanics standpoint, Asriel has access to several save files when he's got Frisk's soul. He can reset to the moments after he got Frisk's soul, to when Frisk took away his control over resets, and to when he was first brought back as Flowey. He can't go further back than that because he can't go back to a time he didn't have that power. The only reason he can go back further than the moment he stole Frisk's soul is because of the enormous amounts of determination from all of the souls he has, both monster and human.

Okay, now I want to talk about the ending of the comic. All sweet and nice because Flowey's finally learning to let go of some of the things that made him evil and mean, right? I'm writing this ramble halfway through drawing the comic, so I'm assuming how that ends. (Also, if it's not clear, Frisk has forgotten their entire time in the Underground before. To them, this is the first time they've been down here.)

Well, that leads me to wonder, how will Flowey act since he has decided to be nice and stuff? Honestly, I don't know how the boss battles would go, but I think he and Frisk would develop a genuine friendship. He would hang around places he's pretty sure have save points, maybe give some tips and share a joke or two. Basically, imagine something like what he does for Clover in Undertale Yellow.

But, because we can't have happy Flowey, let's give him a new source of guilt. Now, Flowey lives in fear of Frisk finding out what he did, how he preyed on their sympathy just so he could kill them and steal their soul. He's been acting nice now, and enjoying their friendship, but he can't convince himself to fully commit to it (acting headcanon mention three) because he's afraid he might lose that friendship. Which is why, when Frisk chooses to hug and forgive Asriel, he refuses both, since he remembers what happened last time they hugged (on page 4) and he doesn't feel he deserves forgiveness when they don't even remember the truly horrible things he did. (Again, I'm not completely sure what the boss battles would have been like.) <Actually, I've taken a few days since writing this ramble and have figured it out but will discuss it in a future post.

But Frisk is a determined kid, and after they watch the sunset with everybody (and decide to live with Toriel of course) they go all the way back to the Ruins where this happens.

I hope you are noticing the parallels between Frisk and Chara that help defend Flowey/Asriel's confusion, because I worked hard on integrating that. They are very much alike.

So, that's the end of my ramble. I guess a long comic needs a long ramble, huh? Despite my brain's attempts to convince me otherwise, I actually really enjoyed making this comic. If you did read this whole thing, good for you! I'm not the best at explaining these things in an understandable manner, so I know it might have been hard to read.

Also, January 16th is/was Appreciate a Dragon Day. So here's Douglas, who guards my things while I do art. (I did 6 pages today, so Douglas got plenty of work in.)

[suzukiblu]

How did you spread your Ko-fi/ comms? I've had a Ko-fi of my own set up for a little over a month now but I'm struggling to get any commissioners. Do you have any tips?

disclaimer: This is what worked for specifically me and my specific situation/style/etc and I don't know your specific audience or how you typically interact with them, so take or leave what I say in terms of what seems like useful or helpful information to your own situation. I do have some more specific advice for you in the back half, just I'm gonna be starting out with the "this worked for me" stuff.

Anyway actual answer/info behind the cut, hah. God, this is so long and only mostly organized, I apologize, I just get INTO it sometimes when I get asked this kind of thing.

First and foremost, for clarity's purpose and all: I have been on the internet for literally twenty-five years and am WELL established in fandom, as well as someone who has been reasonably popular and/or well-known in multiple fandoms on multiple sites at multiple times. There are literally people following me who were reading my stuff ten or fifteen or even the full twenty-five years ago. Given your profile says you're in your twenties I may have LITERALLY been online longer than you have been alive, haha.

So like, I've been at this a minute and have a LOT of experience in engaging and maintaining an active audience because that's a thing I value having and therefore do my best to encourage; it just works best for my process. So if you're feeling a little vexed with the response you're getting, know that this is all coming from a much-experienced Old(tm) who has had issues getting commissions and attention several times themselves and just currently has a decent chunk of followers and a very communicative "yes and" writing style and is, as a writer, WILDLY prolific. Like. WILDLY prolific. Genuinely, I am not trying to brag or talk myself up here or anything, I just straight-up feel like I haven't written at all if I don't break 2k in a day ( and even 2k feels kinda low to me at this point ), and I write EVERY day.

Literally. Literally every day. Like I missed two days after I got COVID and solo-drove four hours and needed to sleep for a week to recover, and I missed one day at the beginning of this month because I was real burned out from writing 32k more than usual last month and just needed to veg for a day. That's it, that is it all. Those are literally the only days that I have not written in like, the past SEVERAL months. Like, the high end of "several", to be clear. Occasionally I have a lighter day and only write a few hundred words, but typically I do somewhere in the range of 2.5-3.5k, and on my more productive days I can break 5 or 6k easy. That is the kind of person that you have asked for advice here, haha. 😅 So like . . . I'm low-key a freak, productivity-wise. Like I am the living embodiment of that one interview where George R.R. Martin is staring at Stephen King with visible fear in his eyes as the dude describes how many billions of pages he writes a day like it's no big.

tl;dr: I write SO. SO. MUCH. So much, and ALSO I have a backlog of something like two million words on AO3 and definitely hundreds of thousands more words under my tags list on here on top of that. People get a LOT of content when they get into me, I am MADE of content. I have built up a lot of momentum over time, that's just what's worked for me personally.

Also I'm cheap, ngl. I'm just--I'm very affordable, Ko-fi-wise. So I am sure that helps, considering!

ANYWAY. Some of this advice is not going to sound relevant to Ko-fi, but it is relevant to how I personally use Ko-fi, so yeah, here we go:

Always remember: everyone on the internet has social anxiety. Yes, even the people who don't actually have social anxiety. Just go into everything assuming most people you meet on here are gonna be shy or nervous or just feel awkward striking up a conversation with you out of the blue, especially if they've never really spoken to you before. It doesn't matter if they don't actually have social anxiety, thinking that way just puts you in a mindframe to be mindful when you're talking to them and being mindful in your communication makes people more comfortable with things like messaging you with questions and the prospect of going through the commission process with you.

Generally just assume the best of people's intentions whenever possible, and when their intentions are clearly not the best, just move on and don't engage. It is a lose-lose situation; you are not gonna convince them of anything and you're just gonna look like a dick to people who don't have the context and leave a sour taste in their mouths. Which, long story short, people are just way more likely to enjoy your stuff and WAY more likely to commission you if you're putting your best foot forward whenever possible. I definitely try not to get too negative on here myself; like I'm not doing any toxic positivity or anything, just I am here to vent some feelings and make some friends and enjoy the process, and I wanna cultivate a setup where other people can benefit from that too.

Link. Link link link. How easy is it to find your Ko-fi link? Make it easier than that. Keep it in your pinned post and on the front page of your actual blog and in your back pocket and stapled to your sleeve. When you post a commission, link your commission info in the description. When you talk about your art in general, link your commission info in the body of the text--like for example, "I'm trying to use my Ko-fi more" or "I finished up my last commission, I have some slots open again". ( used my own Ko-fi links for reference here, obviously, hah, but specifically linking to your main page OR just straight to your actual commissions page are both useful options. linking your main page introduces you as a person more effectively, while linking straight to your commissions page removes a step for people and makes it easier for them to find the info they're looking for. )

Communicate! Remind people that your Ko-fi/your commissions exist every now and then. Like, definitely not daily or weekly, but depending on how often you update your blog in general, maybe once every month or couple of months give people a heads up if you've got commission slots open/available. That way they're not awkwardly peering at the pinned post you put up months ago wondering if you're still actively open or just forgot it was in your pinned, and also it gives a heads up to people who might've been thinking about or meaning to commission you that you're available for work.

Post consistently in general; not just about commissions or Ko-fi, obviously, just like making yourself available and open to people and hanging out WITH people. Answer as many asks as you have the spoons to. Talk about stuff you like and stuff you're excited by and into. Like obviously not everyone can do this but I personally post a lot on here and I definitely UPDATE a lot on here; generally speaking if someone swings by my blog once or twice a week, there's gonna be at least a few hundred to a few thousand words of new stuff for them to read ( or SEVERAL thousand, even ). Or to look at, when I'm feeling arty.

Answers asks and make personal posts. Like I'm not saying trauma-dump on your followers or use Tumblr like a diary, definitely, but it's a good idea to give people a bit of an idea about yourself in terms of things like talking about your dog being cute or if you're going to be out of town on vacation or how your process works or just new or different things that you're trying out/experimenting with/interested in. Bluntly put, you want people to remember you are a person who wants to hang out with them and not just a Content Generator to be "liked" and then scrolled on past, and you want to engage with them and try to talk to them when they talk to you and generally be, like, approachable. In my case I just do my best to assume the best of every interaction and try to notice who's regularly popping up in my notifs and remember what I can about them. This does not always work for me because my memory is swiss cheese, but I do what I can there because I very much appreciate people engaging with my stuff ( and also my me, haha ) and I think communicating that kind of thing to people usually makes them feel good, and in turn you feel better about what you're doing and how people are responding to your work, and then you're more motivated TO work and maybe they catch some mistakes for you or have good ideas that vastly, VASTLY improve what you had in mind. The circle of fandom! The life cycle of a WIP!!

Which leads us into: you need to be doing things that are very recognizably You(tm) and cannot just be picked up for free just any random anywhere. Which like, that can be an issue with fanart, obviously, because the internet is FULL of free fanart, so what you probably want is to be looking to court people who are looking for art of their fics/AUs or their own original characters. Like your style is very distinctive for sure, that's definitely a good thing, so leaning into your personal interpretations of characters is a good idea, and it does look like you're doing that with the stuff of yours I've seen. I would just say lean into your own designs and own little quirks of styling and stuff you really love to draw and go hard on all of it. Once you really feel it out, the stuff you are REALLY vibing with is the stuff that is gonna resonate with people the most significantly in the long run, in my experience. Even if it doesn't always get the same level of response as less niche stuff does, it'll very likely get a more DEVOTED response, and people who'll come back for more of it. I did not write so dang much of Darcy Lewis in my MCU days because her fans were uninvested in seeing new content for her, put it that way.

Also, I AM in fact cheap; I have a few different price options on my Ko-fi and two-thirds of them are five bucks or under. The nature of how I personally do Ko-fi means I'm adding words to already-established stories, though, so people are coming in invested and more willing to donate so they can find out what happens next. Which, like, is obviously not something that works with art commissions, unless you're doing something like "when I hit this donation goal I will draw the next page of this comic script I have written in thanks for hitting the goal". But honestly, sometimes doing a limited amount of projects and getting people interested/invested in said projects is more cost-effective in terms of your time and energy and less overwhelming than doing a million different things all at once. Plus it gets your audience more story to chew on in the long run and I have NEVER met anyone who complained about a fuller narrative happening to them.

Mind, I don't actually know if you're the comic-making type, comics are just the first example I thought of, but also you do have to make sure you're giving people enough content to be invested in to begin with. Sticking with the comic example, people aren't gonna donate to see more of a comic if they don't know they LIKE your comics, so doing some shorter ones and posting a nice selection of those first and THEN doing a donation goal is more respectful of your audience because you're clearly actively interested in them and want to make things you can share with them, not just, like, collect their Ko-fi donos, and at the same time it's also just better advertisement for you. Ethical marketing, basically; there's plenty of content you shared freely, and you're also posting the things that get crowdfunded for everyone to see and not paywalling anything, and ideally building some community and making some friends along the way. Which, like, obviously substitute whatever works for you for "comic" here; I personally just find having overarching narratives/stories/settings helps people get invested and enjoy themselves more with your stuff, and also be likelier to REMEMBER your stuff. Come up with an AU, do some little comics or illustrations in it or some design work for it. Just make a thing that is very specifically YOU and what you like.

On that note: get niche. Get weird. You REALLY don't wanna be making stuff that is not as You(tm) as possible and can just be picked up anywhere. You wanna make the kind of stuff where people go "I wanna see more like this, fuck, who else is even MAKING this, alright OP please do me a solid and have more of this on your blog--fuck YEAH you do, look at all this, okay I live here now". In fandom terms: yes, everyone loves Timkon, Timkon'll get likes, it'll probably even get comments, but if you really want to find the diehards who are gonna lock in and ENGAGE, you wanna make sure you also do the niche shit that you're telling yourself everyone else is gonna think is too weird or just not be interested in. Shut up, imposter syndrome, people LOVE weird! People WANT weird, this is fandom, we're a largely queer subculture that's reclaiming our modern mythologies from capitalism, we're not here for the normie shit! We'd be rereading canon again if we just wanted the normie shit!

Seriously, being openly weird and leaning into said weird is a VERY definite reason that people recognize and remember my writing as opposed to, like, just consuming it and moving on without even noticing there was an author involved. If people vibe real hard with the themes you get really into working with or really like the unique parts of your style/voice or appreciate the way you handle certain subjects/characters/weird niche shit, they're a lot likelier to remember you and either come back or just stick around from the start. Like attracts like and your "like" will be delighted to have found you, and you will get to enjoy the benefits of BEING found by your fellow niche weirdos and all be thriving together! Everyone wins!

Also, I have some more specifically tailored practical advice/critique that is based off my immediate reactions to what I saw when I clicked over to your blog/Ko-fi, which definitely take with a grain of salt because I am giving it without being familiar with your process/situation/audience and from a different position. I'm just trying to be less general and offer some stuff that might be more specifically useful to you. So like, please feel free to hit me up in DMs or asks if you wanna talk about any of this in more detail or get some clarification on anything I'm saying here, this is just what I've got from my initial impressions and off the dome.

Also-also, again, this is all based on what's worked for me personally, so I'm sure there's some stuff that might not be applicable to or just not vibe with you because of that. So like please don't take this as me trying to smack down what you've been doing so far or anything, I'm just trying to be thorough in building on it and also, like, my graphic design experience definitely slipped into some of this, hah.

So to start I took a quick look at your blog to see how easy it was to find your Ko-fi and then a quick peek at your Ko-fi itself to see how it was set up. I found your Ko-fi immediately, which was good! Having it in both your bio and your pinned is definitely the right idea. I did have to expand your bio to find the link that was listed in there, which not everyone will do while scrolling past, but that's just like, nitpicking on my part since you do have the pinned post directly beneath it. I just am very much "make literally everything as easy as possible for everyone ever in every possible way".

It'd probably be helpful to mention that you're open for commissions in the "about" on your Ko-fi's front page so people don't have to scroll too far or click any links to find that out/have that confirmed. You may also wanna either slim down the descriptions in your commissions listings or break them up into paragraphs; you wanna do your best to avoid big solid blocks of text because people are likelier to only skim those and therefore less likely to absorb the information.

Skimming is also bad because it means people are less likely to notice that something you're describing appeals to them, and are way MORE likely to end up confused. "Confused" ups the chances that they just decide they don't wanna bother you by asking for clarification, given they might feel stressed by asking or pressured to buy or just like they're bothering you.

Avoiding text blocks is also just gonna make your descriptions wayyyyy easier to read for people who are dyslexic or have vision problems or possibly didn't learn English as their first language ( depending on their fluency for that last one, obviously, but you never know so yeah ). Basically you wanna make the commission process as quick and effortless and A-to-B as possible for people; your goal is "how can I make this process as close to one-click shopping for people?" Your goal is to become the Occam's Razor of commissions.

Your promo sheet on Tumblr I'd say could be an issue in the sense that it's a little difficult to read; you want people to not have to think about it to clock it as what it is. I only immediately knew it was a commissions sheet because I went in looking for one, and you want people to INSTANTLY know it is a commissions sheet. Like, before they even process anything about it, they should have the instinctive recognition of "this is a commissions sheet" and be primed to read a commissions sheet.

The main issue I see is that the sheet's layout is pretty dense and lacks visual flow in its composition; the prices are scattered and the font on the header is hard to read at a glance; my reflexive assumption from the moment it took to recognize it as text and the overall layout of the graphic was that it was a border, not a header. And like, I figured it out like half a second later, yeah, but that first couple of seconds can disorient or confuse people or just make them just scroll by without stopping to read, because it's not a tall image and the image is ALWAYS your best chance to catch somebody's eye, especially when deliberately going for art commissions.

The first thing I actually read off the sheet was "X no NSFW GORE", which I was initially unclear on the meaning of and had to reread to realize what you meant, but either way is not the first thing you want me to read; it should definitely be on the sheet and very visible, but not positioned to be the first thing someone's eye goes to. It belongs off to the side in a lower corner or just over on the right-hand side. Right now it's too high and too emphasized in comparison to the actual header, which is very much what you WANT people reading first.

There's almost no negative space on the sheet and some of the example art you've included is shrunk down so small that it's REALLY hard to read unless you've seen the larger pieces before, so I think considering doing two or three complementing slides so you can spread out your offerings/pricing and make your examples bigger would really be helpful there. I think it's a really good idea to include multiple pieces as examples, it shows your range and makes it clear what people are gonna be getting for their money; that's definitely the way to go imo. You just also wanna be sure that people can see the details and get the full vibe of your art and the work you put into it. Like, I REALLY love that pic of Match you have down at the bottom, full disclosure I realize we have like never spoken but it is literally my phone background and has been since the day I first saw it ( my lock screen being the complementing Kon pic, natch ), but you can't see any of the cool little details I know are in it with it shrunk down that small. I wanna see his eyes and the detail in his hair and the phone cord wrapped around his throat and the heart freckles, I LOVE those dang heart freckles! And like, those are also interesting little quirks and creative things that will make people think, "oh, I like how that looks, if I commission this person I'll get a cool pose or creative styling or fun details out of it!", so they are definitely the kind of thing you should make sure to show off when you are showing off your work.

I personally tend to go for vertical posts over horizontal ones, given Tumblr is meant to be scrolled and it's more important that people's eyes get caught by something in the scrolling process than that your graphic expands across the screen in the best fit; a lot of people won't even click on the image to expand it anyway. You do want to make sure it'll stay readable if they DO click, of course, so I'd personally recommend stacking two or three horizontally-composed sheets on top of each other to make the POST'S composition vertical. Scrolling down is how people traverse this site; you want to lean into presentations that read well when they're being scrolled down.

The accompanying text below the actual sheet is also not as neatly balanced/formatted as it could be, so it looks less . . . hm, less INTENTIONAL, maybe? Less thought-out than it could be, at least. It makes it harder to read at first glance and doesn't give off a professional vibe. Using bullet points or indents or headers can help with that kind of thing and just make it easier for the eye to follow along and for people to read/focus on what you're saying. ESPECIALLY when you're doing promos/price lists you want to have the most stripped-down and functional version of the text you can manage. You wanna get your point across as clear and succinct as you can and make sure there's negative space around your text so the words can be read quickly and the text itself can breathe, visually-speaking. Negative space is your friend.

Yes I realize talking about the VISUALS of text is a little weird but listen man, you're an artist, you get what I'm saying here. You wanna make the actual first-glance look of your text aesthetically appealing and easy to follow through at the pace and in the order you want it followed. Which like, takes some practice, obviously, but again, I have been here for twenty-five years, haha. Just this is a very visual site and very scroll-oriented, so you wanna do your best to be eye-catching! That's why I frequently post my finished fics with a little accompanying image, just to make sure they stick out to people in the tags.

uhhhhh okay this was a lot, lol, sorry for dumping a ton of info all at once there, but hopefully some of it will be helpful to you! Even if some of it probably sounds weird and way too concerned with curb appeal, haha. Sometimes you just gotta put in some grind and build your momentum, sometimes it's really just that; in the meantime, just try to be approachable and enjoy yourself! If you build it, they will come.

[nevadas-night-time-novelist]

Auditor, Phobos, 2BDamned and Sanford with a reader that overworks themselves. Prioritizing work over mental and physical health, pushing themselves to their breaking point, skipping meals and only getting a few hours of sleep. I just need these four in particular to tell me to take care of myself and care about me argggh

Overworked reader

Audi, Phobos, Doc, Sanford

CW: bit of a mental spiral on San's end, ends well tho.

Burnouts a bitch man, don't wear yourself thin over shit, y'hear?

Auditor

"Are the chef's meals not to your liking?" You nearly jumped out of your seat when Auditor's ghostly whisper filled your ear. Casting your aching, tired eyes from your paperwork at the once hot meal, still arranged with care on the plate, completely untouched from the moment it left the kitchen.

"Oh, no. Of course not. They're good, don't worry." You offered him a weak smile. "I'll have it later, I just need to finish this up." Audi's eyes narrowed as you gestured meekly to your desk, piled high with reports, cloning records, casualty tallies, and other such boring admin work.

"It's cold." He grumbled, spinning your chair to face him, hands on his hips. "You're going to really hurt yourself and burn out if you keep pulling these awkward hours. Don't think I haven't noticed you slipping from our bed to come back to this. Did you forget how light a sleeper I am?"

Audi's stern demeanour dropped as your features fell, already feeling low because of how your body was struggling, now having your boss/lover add to that. "I just need to be able to keep up with you. What use am I really if I can't handle a fraction of the work you do?"

His hand rested under your chin, thumb delicately stroking your cheek. "You could never keep up with me, my flame, I was made to handle this. You're just a delicate mortal, you do more than enough without stressing yourself trying to level with me. Allow me to finish this later, mea vita, you are going to get a hot, fresh meal while I draw a bath for us, and after you will get the rest your body needs. That's an order, from your employer, understood?"

"Yes, but-"

He cut you off. "No 'ifs, ands, or buts,' You are going to hurt yourself, and I refuse to allow anyone to hurt you, even self inflicted pain. I, as your partner and boss, will clear this burden for you. When I asked for your best, I meant the best you can consistently handle, not this. You're not yourself, and I command you seek out that old self that I fell for and bring them back to me instantly."

Phobos

Being the director's lover had essentially no downsides, nobody spoke a bad word around you, people helped you far more than before, not to mention the adoration of the most powerful figure in the physical realm. However, that same man would often breathe down your neck, commanding you to stay by his side constantly.

Phobos relished in you, watching you, listening to you, being around you. He wished to be adored equally in return, however your work proved to be a distraction from him. He was... a tad obsessive, but how could he not be? He's a god, it was only right you'd devote yourself to him and him alone.

"Leave that alone will you? Your god requires your attention." A large clawed hand rested on your shoulder, the other pulling down his bandages from his mouth. "Your recent neglect of me is not going unnoticed, dear."

You rubbed your aching eyes, staring at a computer screen all day and most of the night irritated them. "I'm sorry Bo, but there's a lot of work that needs reviewing, I've got weeks of backlog to go through, and Christoff, Crackpot and Gonne have all submitted new reports today with pages and pages of intel to go through."

His hands wrapped around your middle, he lifted you up and took your place on the chair, resting you in his far more comfortable lap. "Bah, they're not worthy of your time. I'll command someone else to do it, the short fat one, whatever his name is. He enjoys paperwork and the like."

"Hofnarr is no doubt as swamped as I am." He took your face in one of his hands, his cracked and damaged lips pressing against your cheek.

"Someone else then, if it pleases you. Whatever it takes for you to spend time with me." You leaned into him, your back pressing against his chest, and he emitted a deep purr. "I am a god amongst men, dear, I don't beg for what I desire. I take it. And yet I allow you this honour. So please..."

Your stomach rumbled against his hand. "Harumph! Neglecting yourself as much as you've neglected me?! How dare you, enough is enough. I command you take care of yourself!" Phobos picked you up with ease, holding you level to his eye. To anyone else, he'd be holding them by their collar, or neck to meet his gaze, but with you, he was softer. A hand under your rump and the other on your back, supporting your weight comfortably.

"You are the lover of a god, think how pitiful it would look if I can't even take care of my equal? You stand above others, the right hand of my throne. Your duties have changed, lesser beings will take charge of them. Your only priorities are yourself and me, and the family we will create." Phobos snapped his fingers, and one of the guards at the door came forward.

"See to it that the chefs prepare your God's favourites, find someone to take their duties on and allow them to be truly indulged as they should be." Phobos looked back to you, his eye narrowing. "I will tear this world asunder for you, and build it up as you desire. I will give you anything your heart pines for, never again shall you be run ragged like this."

Phobos was self assured, a god of the highest order, surrounded by weaker, lesser beings. And yet here he was, begging at your altar. He wished you'd devote yourself equally to worshipping you as he did, and he would make damn sure that happened.

2BDamned

3 AM. Doc was in the kitchen, boiling some water over the stove. Hank has smashed the coffee maker earlier in the day, said he'd accidentally dropped the thing, yet couldn't explain the crowbar in his hands. Doc gritted his teeth, damn Wimbleton, making his hard job harder with their stupid thoughtless actions.

He had no doubt the fool had burned themselves on the machine and gone overboard against the poor helpless thing in revenge. Now here he stood, using the stove to make both his coffee and his snack. Instant noodles, his saving grace in the world. Easy to prepare, quick to eat, and filling.

With bleary, tired eyes, you wandered into the dim kitchen, hearing Doc grumbling to himself about 'Getting that moron to find another working machine or he'll have his spine inserted upside down next time.'

"Hey sweetheart." Yawning and setting your tablet down, you wrapped your arms around his midriff and leaned your face into his back. One hand pulled way from the stove, running down your arm before resting atop your hand, feeling the ring around your finger.

"You should be asleep, love." Doc murmured, his animosity towards Hank gone in the wind. You inhaled deeply, basking in his familiar scent.

"I could say the same to you, Kyle." He let out a soft 'Hm.', agreeing without agreeing. You were right, of course. "Debugging with Dei was going well, till he nodded off. San came by on one of his usual bathroom breaks and picked him up."

Doc poured the water into his noodle cup. "You want some coffee?" He took your favourite mug out of the cupboard.

"I thought you wanted me to sleep." You teased tiredly.

"You're my spouse. I know you well enough to know that's not gonna happen anytime soon, even if I would like it if you did." He tossed some powdered milk into the cups along with the beans. "We don't have any sugar left I'm afraid, or sweetener. It's become so scarce these days. Ration packages can't even supply a tiny packet anymore."

"I can get sugar anytime I've got you around." Doc smiled and turned off the hob, turning around to pull you into his arms. "Can I get some now?"

As far as you two were concerned, nothing else existed, everything except what was in both your arms was null and void. He tilted his head down slightly, lips catching yours softly. Butterflies fluttered in your tummy, they flared up every time your husband kissed you.

You rested your head on his chest, it was rare you two had a truly private moment together, as much as you both tried. Being enemies of the state was hard work, who'd have thought?

"You should really lay down dear." Your eyes fluttered open, and you looked up to him. You hadn't even realised you'd started dozing off in his arms.

"No, I've got work to do." You yawned, and Doc chuckled softly.

"You're really stubborn sometimes, you know that?" He picked up both coffees and his noodles. "Tell you what, grab your tablet and we can get cosy in bed together. Work can wait until later, I think we've overdue some private couple time."

Nestled in the crook of Doc's arm felt like the safest place in the world, even with coffee in your system, you couldn't help but fall asleep with him. Trust and love deep rooted, he was your sanctuary.

And damn it, he was going to get you into a healthier sleep routine.

Sanford

It'd been a couple weeks since you'd seen Ford, Doc had sent him off on recon work with Deimos and a splinter group from a faction allied with the SQ, they'd been on the other side of Nevada having heard whispering of something dangerous settling out there.

Two weeks of silence left you anxious, pacing around often, skipping meals and staying up into the early hours of the morning. Longing makes the heart sick, and a sick heart makes the body weak.

The only think you could do to keep your mind occupied was cleaning out the gun stash, checking over the stocked rounds repeatedly, despite the numbers never changing, cleaning already dirt and grime free steel.

A scrubbing brush in hand, you scraped at one of the many swords Hank had salvaged, violently jolting the bristles back and forth over either rust, or really crusted on blood just above the hilt.

Doc usually kept you in the loop of long jobs, sometimes you'd even be in walkie talkie range of your partner and could hear his voice. He could be hurt, he could be dead, you'd be none the wiser, and that was maddening.

Of course you weren't needy and dependant on him, that'd be too much, but just a sign he was okay would've been enough to give you peace of mind. It's the not knowing that drove you to dark places.

Bang!

You jumped in your seat as the front door slammed. "Baby, you here? I'm back." Dropping the blade, you got to you feet and rushed to the door.

"Sanford, you're okay?!" You leaped into his arms, and he caught you easily. Oh sweet security, your world had come home to you safely.

"Yeah babe," San leaned back slightly to get a good look at you, his loving gaze turning to concern. "uh, hope you don't mind me sayin' doll/stud, but you look like hell." His hands brushed over your hair. "...When did you last shower?"

Suddenly you felt rather embarrassed, it'd been a.... couple days at least. Probably about a week since you'd stopped properly taking care of yourself. Swapping meals out for multiple junk snacks, a fucked up sleeping schedule consisting of occasional naps but mostly anxious pacing and activity.

"Uhm..." That was an answer enough for him.

"Baby," Sanford rubbed his cheek, clearing off some dust from his face. "you need to take care of yourself." He sighed and took off his sunglasses. "Have you even been eating properly?"

You didn't meet his gaze. "Okay. Tell you what," He took off his dirty tank top and tossed it aside. "I'll pull out something from the freezer, shove it in the oven while we get a nice shower, and then we can eat and get some rest." Just being near him, hearing his melodic voice again was enough to bring you to a sense of normalcy.

Sanford was fine, he was alive, he was here.

"Things have just been a bit... off without you." You sighed, clinging to his frame, almost afraid if you let him go, he'd run off for another two weeks, or longer. "Sorry, it's just been a lot to deal with, not knowing where you were, if you were safe... It's been hard."

"I get it. I do, I really do," Sanford had his own experiences with deep depression, despite being the large stoic type, the horrors of war, what he and his friends had to do to get an advantage against everything haunted him. "fight, flight, freeze is a real thing, but you can't just shut down baby. You gotta keep fightin, keep yourself in good shape 'cause it's a scary world out there."

"I know. It's easier said than done though." Sanford pulled out a tray of his legendary frozen mac n cheese, you hadn't checked the freezer since he'd left, otherwise that would've been long gone. You didn't know how he did it, but it was godly each time he made it.

"I get that." He shoved the tray into the oven, flicking switches to heat up the frozen dish. "You gotta change how you think, baby." You watched him take off his bandanna, revealing his hair. Or lack thereof.

"You shaved your head?" Usually he'd grow out his hair, style it into long locs and keep them tied back and under his bandanna, but once in a blue moon he'd get bored of maintaining them, and shave it off to start again.

Sanford ran a hand over his scalp, feeling the small curls starting to reappear. "Yeah, easier than trying to keep it clean out there. Dusty as hell." His hands came to rest on your shoulders, turning you to the bathroom. "No bother, I've got your hair to care for now. I'mma spoil you rotten."

Years of caring for his baby siblings had taught the beefcake that just telling someone what to do usually didn't help, but doing it along side them helped solidify the action. He'd help you get cleaned up, get back to eating proper food and getting proper sleep.

He needed to fall into the routine too, sleeping rough in trucks was a pain in his back, and access to his comfy old bed would do him wonders to getting decent sleep again. A full belly and his favourite person in the entire world cuddling into his pecs definitely helped too.

Yes, he needed this just as much as you did.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/14/2024

"surely this will be the worst book i read as part of this gay and lesbian erotica project," i say with faint hope. while i was discussing it with my bestie via facetime mackintosh completely gave up killing mr cactus so i can only assume she was KO'd by this book too

patch notes: split up the reading section into "article" and "not an article" for easier navigation

listening

another one for the "SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)" playlist. just fun horny pop with some sick riffs. thank you spotify weekly recs.

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reading (article)

sometimes i think i've found a completely new type of guy, and then i find out what flavor of engineering he's retired from (metallurgical) and it suddenly makes him a known and cataloged typed of guy and i know where to shelve him. very charming home website, very charming writeup about buying out failing pinball businesses, the difficulties of production, and just like the love of the game? as a loving maintainer of things myself, i am fascinated by other loving maintainers.

i also had some very loose thoughts about cycles of games in various categories of play in general but then looked up some stuff to make sure i knew what the fuck i was talking about and guess what! i don't.

"There's a cycle of pinball. It's like a seven-year cycle, ups and downs and so forth," Young said. "Peak might have been about 1992 if you look at the number of games produced. It was like 120,000 games." But, from there, Young said, it was a steady decline of roughly 10 percent per year. ... Young eventually bought out Gottlieb's backlog of parts and numerous pieces of manufacturing equipment, operating a revenue share with the company for a time before taking outright control of the inventory. That's how The Pinball Resource became the de facto source for all things Gottlieb, but it wouldn't end there. "We've picked up all these pieces as the pinball business has shrunk and fallen apart," Young said. "I sat down once with a yellow pad, and I started writing down the number of distributors that I bought their stock, right? And I filled the side of the page and turned the page over before I got done." ... "This is probably one of the world's largest collections of schematics," Young said. "Every Gottlieb schematic in the world is in that filing cabinet." Schematics from other manufacturers sit nearby, along with endless manuals covering games from many brands and eras. I told him that the 1986 Williams machine High Speed was my favorite. Ten seconds later, he had the original manual in hand.

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reading (not an article)

and now for the erotica. this has four stars on goodreads and i have zero fucking clue why.

this is published in 2010 by Intaglio and is the author's eleventh novel. it is difficult to believe this is her eleventh novel and that she had beta readers (who she thanks) bc there is very little internal consistency. unpleasant paper texture also.

Professor Tess Rawlins spent the last twelve years teaching agriculture in California, away from Montana and her heart. When she’s called back to the sprawling Double R cattle ranch and her ailing father, Tess is thrown back into the world she had nearly forgotten since the death of her brother two years earlier. Unsettling memories boil to the surface for Tess, and her only pleasant distraction is the new cook Claire Redman and her son Jack. However, there is more facing Professor Rawlins than dealing with the memory of her brother or her attraction to Claire. Tess must figure a way to save the Rawlins’s five thousand acres of rich grassland. It has thrived for five generations, when her great-grandfather started the dynasty in the 1880s; now she may lose it all to an unscrupulous land developer. Set in the foothills of the Bitterroots, Tess and Claire find themselves in the fight of their lives—for love and the sea of grass.

the only fun bit of construction is the beginning, with a prologue starring Tess's beloved great-uncle at the university he teaches at, and then a time skip to his great-niece in the same room teaching at the same university worrying about a lot of the same things. other than that, not a well constructed book, from a technical standpoint. in the first eighteen pages: seventeen laughs, ten grins, seven smiles, four cheek kisses, and three regular kisses. and a partridge in a pear tree. this will continue throughout the book. sometimes people will laugh more than once in a sentence. sometimes three people will laugh as a dialogue tag back to back. it has a very Go Dog Go early reader feel at times. it is difficult to believe real alive humans would say some of this dialogue. erotic. EROTIC. extremely erotic!!!

not a lot of internal consistency either: they get very worried about how they lost more calves than they thought they would and then ten pages later they are like actually we lost almost none! there are abrupt seasonal changes from what is established to be early April with snow on the ground to a blazingly hot afternoon necessitating dunking your whole head in a water trough within a (again, established! In the text!) week. one chapter it’s September and the next chapter they’re talking about the Fourth of July rodeo next month. i had to reread a page three times to figure out how they teleported to the middle of the pasture from the middle of the kitchen and not in a “and they found themselves outside” way. someone goes from leaning on a counter to leaning on a fence post.

the murder mystery resolves by someone going to jail but we never actually find out what happened. like ever. there is a fade to black after a fight in the street bc Tess has a hunch and suddenly the guy is in jail. how did her brother die? and why? who knows! the romantic progression also makes wild stuttering leaps forward. there is a very halfhearted jealousy subplot with a man. there is a third act breakup for no plausible reason, and the love interest is essentially kidnapped off a train, dragged back to the ranch, and everyone claps. literally claps.

not very coherent or detail-oriented. some of the most lackluster sex scenes i have ever read. not really sure why this one is sandwiched between two fade to black scenes.

this made me appreciate last week's book way more bc while it was not for me, it was at least coherent and had interesting progressions of both characters and events.

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watching

Night Train to Munich (1940, dir. Reed).

Carol Reed’s Night Train to Munich is a twisting, turning, cloak-and-dagger delight, combining comedy, romance, and thrills with the greatest of ease. Paced like an out-of-control locomotive, Night Train takes viewers on a journey from Prague to England to the Swiss Alps as Nazis pursue a Czech scientist and his daughter (Margaret Lockwood), who are being aided by a debonair British undercover agent, played by Rex Harrison. This captivating, long-overlooked adventure—which features Paul Henreid and a clever screenplay by Frank Launder and Sidney Gilliat, best known for writing Alfred Hitchcock’s The Lady Vanishes—is a deftly concocted spy game that could give the Master of Suspense a run for his money.

i don't think it's as briskly paced as the criterion collection (above) thinks it is, but it was a good, tense watch. darkly, dryly funny-- there's a copy of Gone With The Wind on a newsstand between copies of Mein Kampf.

THE most high-stakes fake dating ever devised. they are constantly swooning over each other and the instant they are alone they are hissing at each other about how if you could FIND it in your HEART to find me ANYWHERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF ATTRACTIVE, maybewecanwiggleoutofthispickle!!! i do not typically like fake dating but this fucked, thank u carol reed director of my heart

-

playing

i have been playing genshin impact since 1.0 and this week have discovered one chest in each of the two earliest areas. do i have eyes at all. do i know how to use them. the first case i had to pick every carrot in a patch, in the second case i had to kick some medium-strong enemies to the curb before accidentally knocking over an archery target. and apparently i have not done either of those things for four fucking years! it's kind of wild how much the game has moved away from hidden chests and puzzles like that.

one other annoyance: this game Does Not Want to let me climb on balloons. this is in the teapot, a place where you can stash furnishings and companions and make little scenes, but can i go to the cool balloon? no. fuck you.

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making

my allergies have been acting up even after diligent cleaning and filter changing and vigorous cat brushing and letting the debri from all that die back down. have YOU ever taken all the little glass shades off all your ceiling fans and bathroom light fixtures and put them through the dishwasher? i don't think anyone had ever cleaned the fans in this apartment. ever.

[authorjoeypaul]

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DRAFTING AND REVISING

As you'll know by now if you've been following me for a while, I paused drafting while I worked on revisions for a time. I got to the point of turning 40 and having 40 first drafts, and worked out if I kept going at that pace, I would have 80 first drafts by the time I turned 50 and with the speed of publishing, I would have ages between when a book was first written, to when it was time for it to be published. So I ended the current series I was working on, bringing me to 48 finished first drafts, and went back to start revising for a time.

I always wanted to do this because I knew there were projects in my backlog that would need more time devoted to them than I would have if I didn't do something like this. I usually publish, when publishing twice a year, in May and October, which means that I have a small window to get the books revised and such before they go off to the editor. I wanted to make sure I had the time to really dig into them, and do any rewrites that were necessary. It also gave me the time to spend longer with some projects that were due to go to the editor. Like with the Invisible quartet, I needed more time because there'll be a period when they're with the sensitivity readers and I also need time to put their corrections in the document. So yeah, it worked out well for me, and I'll be doing this for at least the next year.

So I wanted to talk to you about the differences I'd noticed between drafting stories, and revising them. Of course this is only going to apply to my way of doing things. I'm sure that other writers approach the drafting and revising process differently, and I am not, for one moment, thinking mine is the only, or even the best, way to go about doing it. We all have to do what works for us.

#1 DRAFTING IS MORE LAID BACK FOR ME

I am more of a panster than a planner. At least when it applies to drafting. I will have a minimal chapter plan, but beyond that I don't really think too far ahead. Because of that, drafting is a lot more laid back, it doesn't seem to have as much of an onus on getting this right and closing this plot hole or working out this character arc and the like.

In contrast, revising is literally, for me at least, where this things matter a whole ton. If I don't focus on the plot holes then, I will get hit with them while editing and I do not want that. So when it comes to revising, I do outline and plan more, because I have to make sure that there aren't little bits and pieces missed. Otherwise things can go very very wrong. So revising, for me, is a little more pressure, but it's not as bad as editing, which I'll talk about another time.

#2 REVISING NEEDS MORE IMMEDIATE FOCUS

Like I said above, revising is when the pressure increases and I need to make sure to iron out all those kinks. It's the time when if I don't know if something works, I need to find the answer because otherwise I'm in big trouble. I usually revise over a long period, months or so, and because of that I'm able to take some time, not much, to really think about the long term implications of doing things a certain way. I need to have the ideas, the outline, and I need to make sure that I stick as close to it as possible. And if I don't, I need to have an idea of why, and follow through.

Drafting is more about exploring the story for the first time. Like I'll have some goal posts or scene ideas but they can and do change on the regular. While I do some minimal editing while I go, I'm aware that if I make a big change, all I have to do is note it down and think about it later, as in when revising, because right then all that matters is getting the story down on the page.

#3 BOTH REQUIRE DIFFERENT SKILL SETS

Drafting has it's own process for me, like I've said, I don't have to sit down and have a strict outline. I don't have to worry if character A had brown hair on one page and blonde on another. I don't have to be too strict with myself. I can just follow the story and that's what works for me.

On the flip side, revising, the way I approach it anyway, allows me to fill in those holes and gaps and requires a more critical eye of both the story, and the way I'm telling it. While I've only, a handful of times, had to rewrite the book completely, I do have to do massive rewrites because the bones are good, but everything else needs serious work.

No matter which one you're working on, they require different kinds of skills, and they are both hard work. Good luck to all of those writers doing any of these. You got this!

Any questions? Lemme know in the comments!

Follow Joey to be kept up to date with the latest news regarding Joey and her books.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

2025 Writing Resolutions

I'm not usually one for resolutions but I've been kicking around the idea of having some writing goals after the post I shared last week, and came up with a few that are feasible:

Finish the first draft for one (or both!) of the stories I started last year in new-to-me fandoms

Edit and post the Presidential PWP

Finish the DA:I Blackwall fic that's been 95% complete for years

Daily 15min sprint

Some personal musings about writing (and reading) and WIPs under the cut.

Last fall I lost my Cyberpunk hyperfixation but, after three years of nonstop Val and Mitch (and Rosalind) through VP and modding, it's been a boon to my writing, and once more I'm reminded why I love hate one of my oldest hobbies. I really wish I could reassure my younger self that actually, no, I'll never run out of things to write.

Over my tumblr break, I rewatched the whole Daniel Craig Bond series, all because I really wanted to watch Skyfall, my fave of the entire franchise. Something new happened this time around as I watched the films — Judi Dench and Daniel Craig's chemistry gripped me by the throat and wouldn't let go.

I'm not generally one to visit AO3 (or ff.net back in the day) after consuming a piece of media; I could list out the ones that have on two hands, and still have several fingers left over, even with including the new ones mentioned here.

This time, I was lucky to have found a ship with a backlog of fics to work through. For weeks I read fics, and rewatched their scenes ad nauseam, ever thankful I'd bought the 4-disc set and wasn't reliant having the correct streaming service. Eventually inspiration struck and I started what I thought would be a oneshot. But where there's a WIP there's always more ideas lurking around the corner, and suddenly the oneshot developed into two chapters, with the second spinning quickly into a third.

Over the course of a two-week head cold that knocked out all writing aspirations, I binged all of Ted Lasso and became enamored with the characters and themes, but especially the relationship between Ted and Rebecca. As I watched, I didn't know the status of the show; in fact I had assumed season 4 was in the works. :sad trombone: No slow burn for me. After I finished it, I wanted to rewatch it immediately but decided not to; I wanted to sit with it first, to let it digest. I really didn't think I'd reach the AO3 stage — usually it's like the proverbial bolt of lightning that strikes quickly — but this time, appropriately, it was the friends-to-lovers trope that I adore.

Again, I was lucky to find a veritable treasure trove of fics. I wasn't the only one who wanted more of those two, and again, I found myself inspired with an idea that was two lines of dialog and half a scene held together with spit and twine, and since then it's spaghettied into —yes, you guessed it — three chapters.

Neither of them are anywhere close to being shitty first drafts; they're hand-scratched pages written over consecutive nights where I wrote seven sentences, or maybe seven words or even paragraphs, before nodding off over the notebook. The 00M fic has 2k words transcribed, and that's just the first half of the first chapter, while the rest is mostly vibes and smut, and now there's a fourth chapter, because of course there is. The tedbecca has less than a quarter of that, but it's at least all transcribed now.

Enter Cyberpunk 2.2 and remaking Val and falling in love with this stupid kleptopunk streetrat all over again. Glory shared a "what AO3 tag are you" quiz and I got "only one bed" and said it was ironic since I'd never written one, and she jokingly (???) challenged me to change that. Welp, friends, my brain couldn't stop poking at that and now I have an idea for a new fic featuring fan fave "only one bed" trope, and also a fix-it, another first. Usually I am content to leave canon as is and play within the margins and behind-the-scenes of what we're given, though maybe I will add my own touch to scenes; but I always felt that Driss's death was cheap and easy to avoid. Maybe if we'd been given an actual RPG with real choices, it could have been, but that's a topic for a different rant.

And with the reignited love for Cyberpunk, plus the desire to mark things off my to-do list, I opened the Presidential PWP tonight when I was going through my folders, and my god, it happened — I'd forgotten it! I read a few paragraphs and decided I need to save the reread for another night when I can read it uninterrupted and take fresh notes on it. Probably should recruit a beta, too.

Another very long standing to-do is the Blackwall fic. I started it in maybe 2015, and worked on it off-and-on for a couple of years alongside a ME Shakarian/Shaeed love triangle (don't at me), trading off between them as the hyperfixations switched back and forth. The Blackwall fic is a true oneshot and has been waiting on an ending for for 6+ years now. It's literally 95% done, and I fucking adore it so much, and just need to Write It, and get that draft out the door (and maybe to a beta? idk, we'll see).

So that gets to the last resolution — this is the one that I know I'll fail in that I won't do it daily; I will miss days. But it's an aspirational goal, and I know firsthand how beneficial writing daily is, even if I only get a few words out of it. It still gets the ol' compost bin in my brain going in the background, churning all those ideas and thoughts into more WIPs.

I've also been thinking about the why. Writing is one of my oldest hobbies, following reading and video games. Returning to the Cyberpunk setting runs the risk of me picking up VP and modding again, newer hobbies that offer faster and more immediate feedback from other fans; hobbies that I know will cut into both my desire to write and my free time. By writing out my... writing resolutions, it will be easier to remember my priorities for the year.

Rat asked about our writing accomplishments in 2024. I answered that I wrote four new characters in two new-to-me fandoms, and that I let myself move from projects as did my interest without guilt. Now, it feels freeing to have four fandoms and a dozen stories to choose between when I want to write, but I will say the color-coded notebooks are getting hard to keep track of.

[clown-friend-gt]

Up, Up, and Away: Chapter 1

It's finally happening! I'm finally posting this story in the order it happens, instead of in whatever order I suits my fancy.

In all seriousness, I'm really excited to post this! I have the first few chapters of this story written, so look forward to those soon.

In the future, updates will be spaced out to give me time to (hopefully) write more chapters in between posts, so I've always got a backlog. But today, to celebrate this coming out, I'm going to post the first two chapters one right after the other.

In this chapter, we get the beginning of Trevor's story. If you've read some of the other stuff on my blog, you'll realize he looks a bit different than he does in those. This is because this chapter takes place before his transformation begins.

Link to Masterpost

************************************************************************

New School, Same Story

800 words

(TW: Bullying)

In his first class on his first day of high school, Trevor Castillo sat alone, doing his best to keep to himself. He tried to act natural, doodling in the margins of his notebook like he would on any other given day. But it was difficult when the students at the front of the room were talking about him.

Well, not exactly. They were talking about one of the school’s new counselors. But their topic of conversation concerned him more than they knew.

“My brother says he’s never seen him before, he’s got to be a new staff member or something,” one said.

“But his badge says he’s from the Lively Institute,” said another.

“I’ve heard they send counselors to any school where a student tests positive for the super gene,” the first one responded.

“So what, some kid at this school’s gonna be a superhero or something?” A third one scoffed.

“Could be. Or they could go rogue.”

There was a lull in their conversation.

“So who do you think it is?”

“Me, obviously,” one of them chuckled, flexing his arms. His friends laughed, and their topic of conversation changed soon after.

Trevor grimaced to himself. He remembered being shocked when his doctor told him that they’d detected the SMM gene, otherwise known as the “super gene” in his genetic testing. Everyone his age had to take the test, but he’d never imagined something would come of it. Now, that feeling of shock had subsided into latent anxiety, and he could only hope that nothing would come of it.

Superheroes were like celebrities in the cities they operated in. But Trevor was perfectly content staying out of the spotlight for the rest of his life. He wasn’t really suited for the life of a hero.

If he did end up developing superpowers, maybe it would be something he could hide, and he’d be able to live a normal life. That was the best he could wish for.

Right now, though, he didn’t want anyone to realize he’d been listening in to the conversation about the mystery student. He was convinced that if people learned it was him, it’d only make life harder. He tried to make it look like his full attention was on the page in front of him.

Just keep your head down, he thought to himself. He focused on getting the anatomy of the figure he was drawing just right. Losing himself in something he enjoyed always helped him feel better.

He heaved a sigh, relaxing just a little.

Suddenly, a hand shot out and grabbed the notebook off of his desk and threw it on the ground. He went to look up at who’d done it, but another hand gripped the back of his head and slammed it into the hard surface below him. He let out a cry of pain, his eyes beginning to water.

He glanced up to see everyone else in the room pointedly looking away. No one would make eye contact with him. Even if he normally didn’t want any attention, it still stung when people ignored it when he was bullied right in front of them.

“Morning Castillo,” rang out a familiar voice.

He looked up to see Robbie Deckman, the boy who’d bullied him since middle school. It looked like that wouldn’t be changing anytime soon.

Trevor tried to ignore him. His face throbbed with pain. He reached over to try and grab his notebook from where it lay on the ground, but Robbie placed his foot on top of it and swept it aside. Then he grabbed Trevor’s outstretched arm and yanked him to his feet. With his small size, it wasn’t hard for Robbie to push him around.

Robbie loomed over him. “Whatcha been up to? Same old?” he asked sarcastically while grinding his heel into the drawing Trevor had been working on. Trevor just looked away.

When he didn’t respond, Robbie scoffed and shoved Trevor backwards. He crashed down into his seat.

“See you around,” he said with a sneer. Then he walked off, finding a seat near the back of the room to sit in.

The silence left behind after the confrontation slowly filled up with idle chatter again. Everyone just went on with their lives. Same old, same old, Trevor thought to himself bitterly.

Something had to change.

He cautiously picked his notebook up from the ground. The front page, including the drawing he’d been working on, was wrinkled and torn. With a sigh, he tore out the first page and turned to the one after it, starting his drawing over again.

Maybe Trevor had been wrong earlier. Maybe getting superpowers could be the best thing that could happen to him. Maybe it would mean no one would be able to pick on him anymore.

Or maybe he’d end up an even bigger freak than before.

Next

[malicemuffin]

I took a social media break for reasons and am tentatively coming back for a bit. Maybe? That could change tomorrow. My moods change more than the wind, I'll be laughing one minute then crying and wanting to kill myself the next lol. I'll be getting on a mood stabilizer soon. Ahhh, depression.

I've been pretty useless in terms of art, writing, researching, etc. I have gotten a lot of reading done, but no note-taking. Just highlighting + writing notes in margins + leaving tabs so that I know where to go back to. I have a huge backlog of books I need to go through and take actual proper notes on and it's a little intimidating.

I feel like the more I read, the more I realize I don't know haha. For example, apparently rifles can jam in the cold. I know absolutely nothing about guns, and maybe I should start to learn because I feel like that might be important if my story takes place in Alaska?

There are times where I feel really confident, that I can make this story, that this is something very doable. The past two months have not been one of those times. It's frustrating, kind of soul-destroying to see that I'm the one who is in the way of my own dreams. But I gotta go at it at my own pace I guess. Instead of despairing, I need to make use of the time when I'm actually able to do stuff.

In other news, I got some new books that I've really been enjoying. One of them is on Romanian Star Lore, which I'm super excited about. I love learning about star lore that isn't just the usual Greek/Roman stuff.

I've also been reading "Five Days at Memorial" which is a very heavy book. My story takes place a decade before Katrina but it's been good research on how disaster preparedness breaks down and what happens to the most vulnerable. It's about five hundred pages long and is very densely packed with information, so it's good to take breaks from it every once in a while.

I've been reading "Taaqtumi: An Anthology of Arctic Horror Stories" which is a bit of a mixed bag for me, but good for research I suppose. I'm learning a few tidbits I hadn't learned before and also kind of... studying the cultural attitudes presented within? Looking up reviews, a lot of folks love the story I disliked the most. I think I just really do not care for scifi prose whatsoever; it's absolutely not my thing. A shame, because a few of my friends write scifi fiction.

I read a book called "Cannibalism: a Perfectly Natural History" which was very enjoyable. I also enjoyed a book called "Gory Details: Adventures From the Dark Side of Science." They were quick easy reads, peppered with lots of interesting facts which I straight up devoured.

I also read a book called "Ghostlands: An American History in Haunted Places." It's probably my favorite book I've read this year (granted, it's only March). It gave me a lot to think about for ghost stories, but also mythology and folktales that get passed down-- not just what is said, but what isn't said. One thing I keep thinking about is who gets a ghost story passed down. It mentioned that Norfolk was the second largest center for slave trade in the United States, but almost all of the hauntings/ghosts for this town are overwhelmingly white. If ghosts are supposed to be reflections of suffering, where are all the black ghosts? I've never thought about this before and it kind of shocked me. I had to put the book down and pace a bit.

It's made me think about how I want to handle some of the mythology I'd like to use in my story. Who gets a story told? Who is remembered?

But even then, it's not like the memory is true. A lot of the ghost stories will be presented, then it'll be revealed how much is fake and the author compares it to the actual real research and life the stories are based on.

It's not a story about mythology but I highly recommend it if you like to look at the cultural attitudes that inform folklore.

I got a book called "Freaky Folklore" which I was kind of hoping would give me lots of different ideas for monsters I could include, but I found it shallow and disappointing. That's on me though for buying it in the first place. I bought another book by the same author a year ago on Appalachian folklore (that I still haven't read yet) and I hope it's better than the one I just read.

"Nothing Good Happens After Midnight" was one I read that I also did not enjoy. I wanted to learn more about the dispatch side of things, and this book did help me with that. I didn't like the author or the way he wrote (funny, because it felt like this must be how I talk, it was very ADHD if that makes sense). The title is fucking great though, I'll give it that.

Let's see...

On my to-read list:

"Highway of Tears": I'd like to be better informed as I write I guess. Additionally the moon cult wants to recruit from areas that the larger society/government/whatever won't look into, so I feel like I should read this for a better understanding.

"Dead, Insane or in Jail (books one and two)": I still haven't read these... They're about the troubled teen industry and I feel like it's extremely important for my moon cult. I haven't started them yet because I just know it's going to be a rough read and I need to be in a better mindset.

"Trauma Sponges": This is another EMT memoir (I've grown to love reading these) but what interests me the most is that, from what I can see from reviews, the author has a more negative view on other emergency personnel than I've seen from the books I've read. In fact, the book review that convinced me to read it the most was one lambasting it for putting down other fellow workers. The guy was one of the EMTs who responded to George Floyd’s murder so I feel like this one is going to have a lot of important things to say. I wanna theme my Celestials after Emergency Responders so it can't just be positives; I need to make sure I show the negatives too.

Star Myths of the Bible: I am FASCINATED by what kind of star myths might be present in the bible. The author has written a number of massive compilations of star myths around the world and is probably going to be one of my best sources; I just feel super intimidated to read these 700+ page tomes. I've got another three on my shelf that I still need to read that are just as long. God help me.

"Alaska's History, Revised Edition: The People, Land, and Events of the North Country": this is a very short book that has taken me three months to read and I'm only under halfway through. It's extremely dry. I think I need to start over because I've absorbed approximately none of it.

tbh I have way more books that are waiting to be read but those are the ones on my to-do list as it were. I also have done fuck all in terms of star research collection. My word docs sit bare and empty...

Anyways it was nice to check in. I've set up my queue for other blogs so things will post even if I'm not there.

Even if I can't write or draw, I can at least read.

[melkyt]

Hell yeah thanks @khepiari for tagging me, been wanting to do this when i saw it going around cx

1) how many works do you have on ao3?

47 on ao3, two chilling on anon for now, even if its probably obvious its me in them rareship tags lol

2) what's your total ao3 word count?

916,672

I wish posting chapters on ao3 was easier since i have such a backlog, editing is the bane of my existence xd.

3) what are your top five fics by kudos?

The Truth Will Rend - 474

Forsaken - 369

Free in Spirit - 342

Awakening - 294

Conform - 249

Except Awakening, they are all MHA and i hope soon i get enough one piece fics to outrun them xd

4) what fandoms do you write for?

Im a one fandom kind of gal, so just one piece

5) do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I do not respond to comments until a fic is all finished. I had a really bad experience when answering comments in my last fandom and getting harrassed so now im cautious about it. I prefer people contact me in a chat if they want to talk.

I do appreciate all comments though!

6) what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I dont do happy endings that often, i tend to add them after for my friends who dont like MCD xd

So i guess right now it would be Silence where Law dies doing Immortal Surgery, gets reborn thousands of years later and Luffy finds him.

7) what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fortune maybe, everyone lives atleast and its sorta ends on a happy future xd

8) do you get hate on fics?

Used to constantly, so it overshadowed my enjoyment of the media. MHA folks cared to much about who Hawks was fcking and im an equal opportunity shipper who likes her age gap 'this is a problem' ships, so i got alot. Have a thicker skin now and less tendency to care if anyone likes/dislikes or reads my fic xd Still complain about it though xd

One Piece people are much nicer then my last few fandom, but also im a small fish in a big sea as a creator over here also have so many people blocked lolol

9) do you write smut?

Also used to write smut, erotica for moneys in college. I've been told Im good and should right more but I find it a little boring sometimes as an ace gremlin xd, has to be very specific vibes for me to do it with any kind of focus

Any smut I post now is going to be silly messy smut that i dont take specific care or attention to detail with. Smut thats more there to put character in situation and see what he does xd

10) do you write crossovers?

Yes? Maybe, I like the idea of putting characters in video games but its indulgent vibes that i never really put down on the page xd

I do it alot more crossovers for gift fics or requests

11) have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not fic but I had theory posts stolen because someone wanted clout in a fandom of like 150 people, like what? Baffles me xd

So now even though i fcking love meta, I dont post it xd

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I am way too much of a pantser to cowrite a fic, and also like to drive the train, so co-writing not for me

14) what's your all time favorite ship?

Honestly, I don't have a favorite ship, to me favorite means that im obsessed and biting them xd

I write alot of Lawlu, but its a casual kinda of interest where i like playing with them in fic

All my favorite characters do not have a counterpart that id ship them with as much, for now. I think with the latest chapters I might get one xd

15) what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I finish fics before I start posting, so right now I only have one wip and its almost done hehehe. Then ill start another heheh excited

My MHA fics are unfinished in limbo on my ao3 but thats not because they are wips, its because *drama and harrasement* woo haha

16) what are your writing strengths?

Writing a fuckton of words daily (5k right now xd)

Dialogue, Interpersonal Banter brings me joy

Getting the vibes im going for across, usually the yearning heh

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

Short Stories, my writing always gets longer then it needs to be from the idea lol even though i want to make that 2.5k story that slaps one day xd Need smaller ideas lolol

Head Hopping, sometimes in first drafts thats a mess xd

Moving to quickly through scenes, i need to slow down and develop them. Now i dont fix that in fics i write for fun, but original writing i struggle xd

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I know a bunch of languages in varrying degrees of understanding, Russian, Ukranian, Polish, Spanish etc but Im not a fan of having non-dominant language showing up in my own fic, it ruins the flow when my brain has to switch channels xd

19) first fandom you wrote for?

Shiki? I was fifteen?. Fucked vampires, lots of blood, gore and dark topics xd Not a great time of life for a baby gremlin Mel and it showed in the writing hahaha

I say i write dark topics now but kid me was much more wild xd

20) favourite fic you've ever written?

Oof, uuuh Break the Cycle is my first fic and longest for one piece, so just by time spent and because it has a big scope that has to be my favorite xd

I want to do another big scope fic and i think that one will take over as my new obsession unless i make it a comic xd

Tagging @cooknumber3 if you havent done it already and want to hehehe

[d3zydration]

"Dezy Doodle Drop, March 2025" by Dezy Delaceur Digital Art on Clip Studio Paint, 2025

I neglected to recognize that one of the perks of digital art is being able to collect a bunch of individual doodles and works-in-progress on a single page, which happens to be perfectly suited to my little hopefully-monthly doodle drop.

At the top, you'll see a little layout of all my vtuber models which I've already got rigged and ready to go for the channel. I'm hoping to get some new videos up this year - gameplay, speedpaints, whatever I want really - and honestly, I've got a ton of footage I just need to edit and record additional material for the new format I'm doing. There has been some progress in that regard, but not enough to be able to give an exact date on when that return will happen just yet. I'm more focused on my webcomics and other writing for the moment.

In the bottom left corner, you will see the third (ugh) iteration of my Hesiodos portrait. I just did not feel good about the previous two attempts. It's been very difficult to imagine what a person may have looked like with only a few worn-down statues as reference. That said, I am feeling more comfortable overall with my realism-leaning style while still keeping a bit of cartoony charm to it. As you can see, I've spent the most time so far on the face, and I've painted over the body entirely more than once. Hopefully this will be its final iteration.

Aaand in the right corner, you will see a little Ilya beside Nerissa's familiar, the inspiration for a recent change in my art style, a sketch for a gift for my baby sister's teacher, and a little doodle for one of my besties who was going through a rough time.

Anywhoodle, if you like my art, stories, and/or concept work, please consider visiting my website. Both my artwork and writing services as well as my art shop are open at this time. You can also drop me a little tip on Ko-Fi to help support business expenses and supplies in you're feeling generous. In the meantime, back to the artwork backlog I go! More fun coming soon! Bweheheh! 👻💚

[feather-dancer]

As we're coming to the end of January (Finally) and it's a new year, figured start doing writing round ups again. It's been very cold for a chunk of December and all this month meaning the joy of swollen fingers, being forced to stop due to being chilled and the usual flare ups which aren't art friendly. Stuck writing only or not, much prefer it over last January where I was in a helluva lot of pain for a chunk of it.

So what have I been up to? Well one thing I've wanted to do for literal years is go back to several fics/oneshots that were written pre it being pointed out I had a bad run on sentence habit and fixing it. In the process I've been sorting out any typos (Surprisingly rare), repetitive wording, one case of time not being consistent, double spacing caused by keyboard errors, clearer paragraphing and generally improving flow where things are reading a bit janky. Last year I finished the two Fashionista oneshots and this month I've managed to clean up:

Along came a word - A writing meme collection

Savouring Memories

Currently at the time of typing this I'm on page 10 / 26 of Stars. This is the third attempt to scrub the thing and furthest I've gotten as it's got a lot more to fix than anything else I've touched so far. Did you know past me never bothered to put the Trollish translations IN THE FILE? That one particularly is driving me nuts. The last part I fixed up was:

Rest of the end of day tasks are thankfully light thanks to both the morning blitz and the bits and pieces in between leaving the seemingly endless amount of rubbish collecting (That one always annoys him) and sink clearing. After giving himself a smidge longer of rest, he cracks on because such a precious space deserves to be treated with the utmost respect even if the clientele didn't always carry the same curtsey. Not like a broom or a sponge was that unusual in his hands anyway, no matter how old he got it seemed the old chores of Camelot followed closely behind like a spectre. Ten minutes is pretty good going considering how bad it can be…

Also had to fight a weird bug which kept defaulting spelling to US English until I just removed it entirely. After chapter 1 is complete gonna be moving on to Heart of Glass as per the poll. Just want to finish chapter 1 first because it was originally written in a week, shows and was always the biggest one I wanted to go back and sort.

Currently the Shame Chart is looking like this:

Please note: These thoughts of you is not included on the above due to being an already posted oneshot but will be scrubbed as well.

This is everything I have kicking around somewhere including some that don't even have a title yet. I want this to be a year of finishing things and I def want to be on with clearing some things out post scrubbing. Stars third chapter has had 10 pages this entire time, Ghost!AU two, then there's the oneshots and things in my asks... Likely will poll what people are most interested in closer to the time. Still want to do something with those Not!Enrique test pages.

Anyways that's where we're at right now. Really hoping the temps pick up though I'm fed up of having to exist in endless layers and gloves while fighting my system's need to hibernate. Today having an angry elbow at typing is a new one though only taken one day off writing entirely this month so that's fair honestly. While doing this I'm attacking my reading backlog so if I suddenly appear on an older work of yours, that's why.

[books-coffee-and-the-woods]

Hey, hi, hello, I've returned from my monthlong hiatus! I did quite a bit of reading in March, though not as much as February, since I was reading more novels than manga. I'll post the usual reading wrap-up at the end of the month, but here's a few highlights:

Finished The Immortals Quartet. It's just as good as I remember it being.

Got all caught up on my library holds for now. I ended up absolutely loving Bunny by Mona Awad, and I also really enjoyed Cleopatra and Frankenstein even though I'm sure a lot of people would've found it dead boring.

I've lowkey started thinking in terms of "reading sidequests." My first 2 of the year were The Immortals and my library holds backlog, and now that those are done I've started my next sidequest, which is reading the Roots of Chaos series by Samantha Shannon (rereading The Priory of the Orange Tree first and then reading the prequel, A Day of Fallen Night). I remember loving TPOTOT (one hell of an acronym) so much that I read it in just a week, so I'm hoping I can get through both of these in a timely manner even though they're 800+ pages long. I've been off to a slow start though as I haven't been in much of a reading mood the past few days.

Other, smaller sidequests are to read all the CLAMP manga on my tbr (only Clover is left now!) and to read 1 story from The Big Book of Classic Fantasy between each book (it's one of those mega-anthologies with bible-thin pages so reading 1 story at a time is a less efficient but also less stressful way to get through it).

[birdmenmanga]

Things on my plate rated in order of how much they scare me

1. presentation on zinemaking and fan anthologies on 12/10: 10/10

scary bc even though I'm quite naturally talented at giving presentations I don't think any of it is actually talent at all and is actually simply it just being well-rehearsed and 98% completely memorized + my knack of being able to say things in a natural way, I have to do it in Chinese this time. it means that I have to look up a lot of specific terms so I can say all of it and it's just a lot of pressure because this is a topic I know a lot about and I haaaate looking stupid about things I'm an expert in. if it goes badly I'm literally going to kill myself

2. chorus: 12/10

dude this is really scary. I only have like 10 pages of backlog left. I don't know what to do about this. I want to hold out til at least the end of ACT 4 but I dunno if I can do it. it actually scares me more than the talk but the talk is sooner so I put it higher up on the list. but this one's actually more scary

3. heishin exchange: 6/10

Neither one of the ideas I'm cooking up are. well. quick. they're both quite expansive and it scares me. I want to pull through as best I can and I KNOW I can just draw one (1) picture for it but I want to do something immense and crazy. I like doing that stuff. I don't know if I can right now though. I'm like I got plany off time right now but truly? I don't think I got plany off time.

4. tanabemas: 3/10

I'm not as behind on this bc I've been working on stuff for this to cope with everything else but still. kind of scary. unfortunately feeling a bit of plany off time for this even though that is NOT true

OK SO WHAT DO I DO...

Well I dunno. I guess it makes sense to focus on the presentation first. I think I know which story to go for for the exchange; doing the storyboards for AT LEAST the first maybe like 5 pages would be good to show as progress for the check-in.

Okay so I figure out the first hour of the lecture, then I figure out the first storyboards for the heishin... then I finish the second half of the lecture and then go full steam on chorus for at least a week or two. that puts the timeline around christmas, and so I'll have a couple weeks to wrap up the tanabemas stuff since I made the end date Jan. 10th. and then it's full steam chorus again. hmm no these things are way too vague I gotta block things out more specifically... hrng... okay...

[petra-creat0r]

Annual Update 2024

Alright everyone! New year, new updates for all my stuff!

Starting with ...

AtDFF and AYC

(The new signatures for my main art, AtDFF, and AYC)

As some, and by that I mean most of you have probably noticed, I rebooted AtDFF... again. I technically started a revamp all the way back in 2020 where I was redrawing the older updates to better match the current style and reformat the asks and text for better readability, but that didn't impede on the main updates (well, besides putting more onto mine and the rest of the team's work load.)

The Reboot

This past year though, I made the decision to completely reboot the comic for a few reasons. One was an attempt to renew my motivation, another was wanting to rework some of the lore, yet another was being inspired by @askfallenroyalty to remake the comic and post to ComicFury, but I think the main factor was... I wasn't all that happy with it. I think I kept comparing it to other comics, especially Fallen Royalty, which is my own issue, please don't go blaming anyone else. I knew I could do better, especially after over 5 years working on this, but now looking back, part of me feels that, rebooting it again is, in a way, diminishing those years. Even with the 2020 revamp, prior to it you could go through the updates and really look at how my art has progressed, and though true you can still scroll and find the old updates, it's just... not quite the same. Same can be said for the 2023 reboot.

Does that mean I'm going back on the reboot? No. I already have the next updates planned (I just haven't had a chance to work on them that often) and I really like the new lore of the world that I've come up with. I just think this will be the last time I ever reboot the comic. Whatever happens, happens, and I need to just roll with it. Even if what happens is our little roadtrip getting derailed into a corn field again, lol.

Comic Fury and New Comic?

With that said, what do I have in store for the new reboots of AtDFF and AYC? (yes AYC got rebooted too, I just haven't posted the first update like I did with AtDFF) Well, I mentioned a Comic Fury, which surprise. Both AtDFF and AYC have their own Comic Fury pages now! Don't worry, I still plan on posting to Tumblr as well, but now you can also find them on Comic Fury. Along with another comic I'm planning to do (eventually), Undertale-ish: The Comic. Ever wonder what Ish Frisk's journey through the Underground was like? Want to see what happened in most (not all) of their 800 runs? Want to see this child grapple with their self insecurities, perfectionism, and the responsibility of having full control over time and an entire civilization's lives in the palm of their hand? Want to see Chara as a ghost? Well that's what you'll get with Undertale-ish: The Comic! Coming I don't know since I such at scheduling and time management for these things!

Schedule

Speaking of scheduling! When are any of these comics coming out? Well... I just said I suck with schedules, and I can't promise really... anything when it comes to release but like... I know I for sure would like to release things... regularly? Even with the start of the reboot, I started it in April, and that stuff extended until at least August. Every summer I naively think "Oh! I'm gonna have so much time to work on the comic!" and then I get a summer job. Because I'm nearly 20 and going to college and even if I'm still living under my parent's roof, I can't entirely rely on my dad to pay my tuition. Only for half the year. Then during the school year, I have classes, and I feel burned out by the time I get home, and- It's a whole thing I need to find someway to work around or else nothing gets done and my brain just screams at itself. So, I think scheduling is something I'm gonna figure out throughout January, and try and get a backlog of updates ready throughout February to April or May so maybe we can start posting again in summer. Does that feel like a long wait? Even being near a year from the first update of the AtDFF reboot? Yes. But also I'm trying to over estimate and give myself the time and space I need while still attending college, and I wouldn't just be working on one comic update, but multiple. I'm trying to give myself space and some grace instead of making promises that feel hollow after a while of being unfufilled.

Lack of Motivation and How to Fix

Another thing to address, is my motivation when it comes to these series. I don't think it's accurate to say I've felt completely unmotivated to work on either comic, I mean, I was motivated for some of the beginning of last year to full on overhaul them, but I will say that, these comics have started to feel like a job. It's been something I've felt for a couple years now, where I've been having less fun with the comic as it's begun to feel like actual work. Believe me, I'm super excited for some of the later plot points of both AtDFF and AYC, and I love Undertale-ish and these characters but to get to those points or character moments, it feels like I'm slogging through what comes before it, which isn't good. This is something that sure, rebooting helped for a bit, before I got caught up in school and other stuff, but it's not a permanent solution and I've felt myself slipping back into the comic feeling like a job.

So how might I remedy this? Well, I think the solution might lie in another series I started this year, Drawing Junior Secret Squad until Chapter 3. Even if DJSSuC3 is more Deltarune focused, I've enjoyed drawing Chicago and my other fankids pretty much daily as, there's not that much pressure on it. Definitely not like there is with AtDFF or AYC. I don't have to line, or even color them since, they're just little doodles. I don't have to worry about missing a day since, I'll just do multiple the next day. They're quick, they're easy, I can just draw whatever idea I have with the characters I want, I'm having fun. Back when Ask the Dreemurr-Font Family was nothing but an ask chat on Amino, that's what I did it for. For fun. I wasn't worried with popularity or being like other creators, I just did silly little character driven roleplays for fun. I think that's been my issue with the comics. They aren't fun anymore. They're work because, I feel it's my job to tell this story rather than just... telling it because I want to. So, I think going forward, I'm gonna try to have more fun with the comics and Ish in general. For you all, that's probably gonna look like more sketches and doodles getting posted and maybe even just sharing small comics based off ideas that pop into my brain or from roleplays that happened in my server. Little things to help me regain the enjoyment I had with these comics and world.

Deltarune: Fool's Fate

I think that's all I've got to say on the Undertale based comics, so how about now we move onto something Deltarune related? As I was doing DJSSuC3, I introduced an idea called Deltarune: Fool's Fate. Aka, Chicago and Co's adventures through the Dark Worlds after Kris denied their destiny. So far, this has just been little doodles, character designs, and a roleplay I've been doing in my discord server. I've been having quite a bit of fun with that RP, we're nearly to the end of what would be the first "chapter" and have been fighting Dorothy, the secret boss of the Attic Dark World and who some of y'all might recall I made a real life doll of when my old computer finally kicked the bucket earlier this month. (I've still yet to make her dress or crown) I think roleplays have always been the thing I find the most enjoyable when it comes to character exploration as, I don't have to spend forever drawing comics and I get to sorta live through the characters. It's something I've been doing for characters from even before I was in this fandom. With the Fool's Fate roleplay too, I've also got to come up with elements that could feasibly be in an actual video game without, you know, actually coding a video game.

I don't know where Fool's Fate will go from here, while it'd be cool to have it be an actual fangame, I don't have that sort of skill. Nor the budget to pay a team. (My team for the comics is really just a bunch of friends I convinced to help me out for free.) Even with a sprite comic, it'd be too much. So, for now, it'll likely just remain a concept and roleplay. But, who knows. Maybe someday I could make it into something. I mean, after watching this year's Underevent I wanted to.

Other stuff

With all the UTDR stuff out of the way, what about some of my other stuff? (Because, surprise, Undertale and Deltarune aren't the ONLY things I do. Just the things I hyperfixate on the most.) Well, I've got my Fakemon region, Azmayca, POW-R, Dragon Riders, and Kinder Eyes which I started last summer. I don't really have any plans for them, asides from bugging people for ideas and doodling whenever I'm in the mood. However I think starting this year, I'm gonna try to post more of the doodles I make. Either ones in my sketchbook since DJSS gave me the confidence to post sketchy silly little doodles like that, or sketch doodles I draw digitally as warm ups. Though who knows. Maybe a hyperfixation swing some time during the summer will cause me to actually try to do something crazy like outline the whole Azmayca region and hypothetical game. Hopefully not something like that though. Making the evolutions of my redesigns of the starters might be nice.

Commissions

Another thing I'd like to finally do next year is update my commissions sheet. It's something I've had in the work for a while now, and was working on along side launching the comic updates. But, like the comics, school and work got in the way so... I sorta forgot about it. Regardless! I'm gonna try to post my updated sheet some time within the next few months, it's mostly just been havin to draw or find recent examples of my work. Hopefully then I'll actually get some more commissions because, um *looks at the whooping $3.94 in my checking account* I could really use the extra money. I might work during the summers and get grade payments from my dad but, that stuff is to pay my tuition and some of my lunches during the semester, and even with lunches, 500 dollars is spread thin through 17, 16 ish weeks. That's like, only $30 a week, which is maybe enough to cover buying lunch at the campus food court like, once or twice from the food court. Maybe three times if I'm lucky and conservative with my spending. Not to mention that $300 of that went to my new laptop, and even if I should be getting $300 from a paycheck I was never paid back when I worked at Arby's 3 summers ago, I still haven't gotten that gift card in the mail so... Yeah. If I was living on my own, I'd be screwed. Which is why commissions and Patreon are like, my only source of income during the school year. (I still need to look into getting an on campus job for this upcoming semester but that's its own whole big can of worms.)

Patreon

Speaking of Patreon, that's another goal I want to set. Actually posting to it again. I had a burst early last year were I was regularly posting to Patreon with early access chapters of The Puppet and the Real Boy (before I retconned that with Fool's Fate) and thanks to my only Patreon ever @kierangecko, I managed to make around $50 bucks which ended up being used to help get blanks for some of my Christmas gifts for people (thank you Gecko. I know I did stop posting after like, May, but that money really came in handy.) So for this next year, I'm gonna try to post to that again. Be it WIPs of the comic, scripts, little doodles I don't post on Tumblr or whatever, I want to make Patreon another source of income. Which involves posting to it at least monthly. And even if I don't, then you guys won't have to worry about anything since I've got it set to not charge for months I don't post anything.

Resolution Review

So, to review some of my... I guess you could call them resolutions, though I'd rather think of them as goals I don't absolutely have to hold myself too but would just like to accomplish, I'd like to...

Have more fun when with AtDFF and AYC through drawing and posting more loose, silly comics and doodles

Try figuring out a posting and work schedule for AtDFF and AYC by then end of January

Hopefully get a back log of updates for both comics ready to release by summer

Start on and release Undertale-ish: The Comic sometime this year

Keep doing Drawing Junior Secret Squad until Chapter 3 until Chapters 3 and 4 of Deltarune hopefully come out sometime this year.

Possibly design hypothetical secret boss predictions for Chapters 4 and 5 of Deltarune before the next chapters come out.

Keep working on, designing characters for, and coming up with Dark Worlds for Deltarune: Fool's Fate. Perhaps even drawing some tarot cards with the chapter bosses.

Post more about my other projects, even if they're only sketchbook drawings or warm up doodles.

Update my commissions page and hopefully take more commissions to earn some extra money/save up for college or to move out.

Post regularly to my Patreon, also to earn some extra money.

Generally have a better year than 2023 and to find more enjoyment in my art and projects.

Closing

Ho boy! That was... A lot! This has turned out to be one very long post. Hehe. Well, should be over now that I've said all I need too. Also, if I haven't said it already, I'd like to thank all of you for supporting me and my art. Be it my comics, DJSSuC3, my other projects, or anything I've posted this year. It means a lot to me that people even like what I draw and you all mean the world to me. With all of that out of the way, thank you Creative Creators and I hope you have a Happy New Year.