#I've never written a whole fanfic in my life but I'm risking it all

[25inthelaketonight]

Okay girls, hear me out. I've been roleplaying on character.ai for like a week now and using an OC that is basically a self-insert, and I've been roleplaying a story with an AI of none other than DC Morse and I'm pondering on whether or not turn it into a fanfic series....

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

As someone who writes and someone who reads a lot of writing, I have something I'd like to say to other creators.

At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I never leave comments. On anything. It's actually a habit I'm actively trying to break out of as I get further along into my writing career because I know how much comments mean to me and so I want to provide that for the creators I come across.

But the grand grand grand majority of work I have read and loved? I have never commented on. To this day, I have never written a review on Goodreads. Not even for books that have stuck with me since I was a child. I've never written a comment on any of the fanfiction I've read or on any Tumblr art that I come across.

I am speaking about work that has literally changed my life. There are fanfictions out there that I have remembered for years after I read them. The authors have no idea. I never wrote a comment letting them know. They have no clue how much their work meant to me and impacted me. Just yesterday I was thinking about a fan fiction I read when I was early in my teen years (so about 10 years ago or so). To be fair I don't think I could have written an eloquent comment at 13, but that's not the point. The point is that I remembered that fanfiction after 10 whole years and the creator doesn't have the slightest clue in the world that their words re-entered the mind of someone who has not revisited the work for a decade.

There are so many fanfictions that I have bookedmarked that I genuinely love to death, and I've never said anything under them. I still reread them to this day even though I bookmarked them when I was much younger. There are certain lines in them that have given me feelings that I have tried to replicate in my own writing. I hope that people who read my work can feel how I felt when I read some of the fanfics that I have saved on my phone. The creators, again, have literally no idea. Don't get me wrong: their fanfics have gotten comments from other people, but if I'm anything to go by then there are so many other people who never verbally expressed their love even though they absolutely do have love for the work.

To be quite honest I am just not the type of person who thinks to write comments. Even though I fully understand how much comments mean to creators (which is why I'm going out of my way to be better about leaving them), I just... Have never been the type of person to write about how much a piece of art means to me. A piece of art can shake me to my absolute core and imprint on me and I will never tell the person who made it how much I love it.

As someone who also creates, I know how it feels to get low engagement on work you have spent an inordinate amount of time on. I know it can be discouraging and make you feel like what you make isn't worth anything. I also know firsthand that someone can have an indescribable amount of love for what you do and keep that to themselves. I am not the only person out there like this. That's not a guess. I've heard people before say that they feel weird commenting on work that is "too old" even though they love it. Or they feel like creators don't want to get a notification for a simple "woah".

Someone can love your work dearly and not think to comment for a number of reasons. That doesn't mean that your work isn't valuable and it doesn't mean nobody loves it. And honestly? Even if your work really does only bring you joy, I still think that you should create it! But that's a point for another post. My point for this one is that a lot more people silently love your work than you realize. Unfortunately (or very fortunately depending on how you look at it) they probably outnumber the people who do comment.

So I'm sharing this with all other creators. You have so many silent lovers. Secret admirers exist in the world of creating, too, and I think that that is very important for you to remember. If you ever feel down about the fact that people may not say the things that you want them too? Consider that they're thinking it instead. Keep creating!!

[danpuff-ao3]

💌 for the ask game pls :)

Ooh hello! Thanks for the ask! :D

💌 A fic that inspired you to create something for it

To be very frank with you, my knee-jerk reaction was to cringe because my very first thought was to remember that I wrote a fanfic for a fanfic once. I really loved a particular fanfic very much, but it's linked to an old friend group and bad memories and a lot of hurt. Hurt that was, oddly enough, stirred back up today by another means. (I love hearing that my old friends are still naming and shaming me in their fan club of hundreds of people 😬)

The fanfics I wrote have been orphaned since then. And while this feels like perhaps too much information...I feel called to share all the same. I remember being so proud of that work and putting so much love and care into it only to now feel regret, I think. I am a lady with a lot of passion and a lot of love, and I've felt so self-conscious in my life about being "too much"...and now I feel deeply humiliated in so many ways. And deeply hurt all over again.

So perhaps I'm sharing this to say...for all the joy fandom has, it has its shadows, too.

But also to say...for all of the fear and all of the pain, I never stopped sharing.

Had I not been proactive in building a new path for myself when I left. Had I not been so dedicated to staying in fandom...I might not be here now. Had I ducked my head in shame, I might never have stood up again.

In spite of how awful that whole experience was, and how awful it continues to be nearly two years later, I'm still here! Still reading, still commenting, still making friends. Still creating!

There are people in fandom who genuinely care about me. Who want me for more than hits or kudos or comments. Who want me for more than what I can do for them. Decent people who have treated me with respect, even when our paths diverged. Wonderful people who support and encourage me, for better and worse.

More than that, I realized my own power. I finally taught myself that I deserve more. That I deserve respect and compassion, and that if others can't or won't give them to me, then I can at least give them to myself.

And in the time since, I've learned that one horrible experience doesn't mean every experience will be horrible.

Which leads me to, finally, actually answering your question!

There is something very scary about being so moved by a work, especially now. There is a greater hesitation to reach out and let myself be that inspired by another work, and to also put it out there, and have my love be known.

But, well...I've written many a fic rec for various fics! Various rec lists. More specifically, I've made title banners for a few fics I love! I'll share them here, actually. All of them, even the bad ones I cringed at!

Fic links: Hypothermia, Post Mortem, The White Road, When the Rose and the Fire Are One, The Afterlight. (@inarticulateimbecile, @perverse-idyll)

And I've BOUND BOOKS for fics I really love!

Fics: The White Road, Fragile Hearts, Chrysalis, In Between Days, A Choriambic Progression (@perverse-idyll, @writcraft, starcrossedgirl, atrata, Mairead Triste and Aristide.)

I also hope to bind Nights of Gethsemane and Invictus in the future. And a host of other fics! Also When the Rose and the Fire Are One! God there are so many fics I'm DYING to have on my shelf!!!!

Fandom can be such a beautiful place. Creators are friggin' fabulous and share so much beauty and feeling with the world. I'm so very inspired by so many creators and their works. And however scary it is, I hope I never stop indulging in my enthusiasm. I hope I never stop reaching out to others and sharing myself with them. Even with the risk involved, what I've gained in this community has been worth all that I've lost along the way.

There are so many great connections to be made. With fellow fans, with creators. It's worth being able to brighten someone's day with a kind word or even a "I've been frothing at the mouth over your work so I made this thing, I hope that's cool" because 9 times out of 10 that is, in fact, very VERY cool. There is so much to be gained from each other and I hope I remember that, even in the hardest times.

Sorry I turned this into a soap box moment. The ask game was meant to be for funsies, but I can't deny what stirs my soul! 🤗

Fic Rec Ask Game

(I promise to be chill for the next answer, probably)

[ooops-i-arted]

It's the last day of June but I have one more post in me for @jedijune but it's a little different. The goal of Jedi June is to appreciate the Jedi, but this time I'm appreciating them in a more meta sense.

I saw Attack of the Clones in 2002 as a wee lil preteen and as soon as I laid eyes on the Jedi, I instantly wanted to be one. I wanted a cool lightsaber and space adventures like many a kid, of course. But I was also hitting those awkward teenage years and all that comes with it and I had no words for it, but I knew I was experiencing it different than my peers. I only heard "gay/queer" as an insult or an opportunity to be bullied or even murdered. I wouldn't hear "asexual" until after college. But I knew that more than anything I wanted to imagine being a Jedi because then I would never have to get married. (Also: they had girls. My sister and I watched the AotC VHS over and over and over again and memorized every single frame that had Aayla and Shaak Ti and Bultar Swan and Luminara Unduli and Barriss Offee. Even though you had to be a thin, pretty girl, girls still got to be Jedi.)

And on top of all of that, I was supposed to be too old for toys but I still wanted to make stories. So I took my happy ass and my allowance money to Borders and bought this:

This, here, is Baby's First Fanfiction and Fanart. I wouldn't fall in love with LotR until January 2003. So this is where I got my start as a writer and artist of characters. (I drew all the time since I could hold a pencil, but mostly dinosaurs and animals.) I loved writing and drawing before, but it was the Jedi that first catapulted me into what I've become as a fan artist and fanfic writer now.

So for fun I dug out Baby's First Jedi OCs and decided to draw them with twenty-one more years of art skills:

For a little background, 2002 Preteen Me had a Very Grand Plan of writing a novel, submitting it to Lucasfilm, and getting it published. It would be about Derran Kanis, My Most Wonderful Jedi OC and her life and her adventures, and the very last scene would be choosing her Padawan, whose final line would be "Yoda, my name is." (Preteen Me was confident that since we don't actually see Yoda in action this wouldn't break George Lucas' rule of not revealing Yoda's species or background. The focus would be all on My Wonderful Jedi OC anyway.)

A little Yoda is a lot easier to draw now after all the practice with Grogu! Should I call Favroni and tell them it was my idea first? XD

I was obsessed with the Jedi Apprentice series most of all, so of course there had to be more characters for them to get into Shenanigans with for both generations.

Leronna was Derran's friend, a wise and serious Jedi Master. Derran was the Qui-Gon of the relationship and more of a risk-taker, while Leronna was more solemn to balance her out.

Their other friend was Mukdon, because I thought a Hutt Jedi would be really cool and unique. To contrast Hutt stereotypes, he was rather un-confident and a worrywart.

Of course Yoda needed a friend to get into trouble with, so he had Leronna's Padawan Te-Mon Zeyon. Te-Mon was the serious and play it safe one to contrast Yoda being more reckless (I figured he couldn't be that wise and solemn yet but that cheerfully mischievous side had been there the whole time.) Now that I look at him, I think I accidentally designed a Light Side version of Kylo Ren's TFA outfit.

Last of all my redraws was Tama Ci, a posthumous character and Leronna's first Padawan. Losing her to an illness made Leronna reluctant to take another Padawan and contributed to Te-Mon being more cautious, since he didn't want to risk himself and force his Master to face another loss. I don't remember for sure but I strongly suspect her design was influenced by Aayla Secura, since she's my sister's favorite Jedi and we often tracked down any content or merch of her together.

No I will not post any of the fanfiction... it's baaaaaad. It was written by a preteen and it shows. (No offense to any of you in that age range - just that as an adult, I've learned a lot more since then.) But like favorite dolls you take off the shelf and play with now and then, all these characters hold a special place in my heart. Derran, as my first and most dearest - the core of my first grand plan for a long fic - is very special to me and my oldest "active" OC, now existing as a character in SWTOR.

The Jedi were escapism and a refuge for me as a kid, just like Din Djarin and his friends are for me now. So that's what I really appreciate most. That even as a preteen/teenager, in all those awkward years, I still had a place to mentally escape and pretend I was a badass space monk who never had to get married and could live in a cool building with a huge library.

[maxzinn]

Omg the whole aventurine fanfic drama is still on going..but fr I'm glad some people are defending the author that wrote that harmless fic! It's kinda crazy that they would read a fanfic where reader literally just saves him and tries giving him a more comfortable life and immediately say "that's horrible! That's racism! How dare you romanticise slavery!?" Like- c'mon it wasn't even an NSFW fic! And are they just triggered because the reader "buys" him? Like would they cause all of this drama if reader like helped rescued him in other ways?

Please i can't tell you how scared I was when the author suddenly started getting backlash but then I saw your post defending them and i let out the biggest sigh of relief 😭

I just got past my awkwardness when reading aventurine fics but now seeing this mess again I'm feeling even more awkward 😭 and please the "white knight syndrome" thing is just stupid how tf do you read a harmless fic that was written with pure intentions and turn it into this???

Anyways off topic but I love your vibe! I would love talking to you about silly stuff other than this whole stupid fanfic drama!

(i don't play hsr (i don't have enough time and money okay 😭) but I've been there since the game first started and got wayyy too attached to Jing Yuan and now I'm too invested in the damn game 😔)

You said it very well anon! I just wish they stop this drama now tbh cuz it's literally pointless.

I'm so confused as to why people think that fic was to be condemned just because reader "bought him". That fic didn't even romanticize slavery or anything! The fic didn't even sexualize his slavery as well! They weren't even in a relationship nor did the reader in that fic even tried to get together with him.

Besides, I'll say it again, it was his IN-GAME lore and that author only made their own script/version where aventurine had never gone through that trauma of fighting for his life and someone was able to save him to give him a better childhood.

Even though reader didn't "buy" him and rescued him instead, nothing would have ever changed imo. I think people will still nitpick on the fact that it's a fic about slave aventurine and will still claim that it's 'white-knighting" and "fantasizing to be his savior" and all that bullcrap. (i'm really getting tired of these people turning every good intentions into something malicious)

And besides, imo, even if reader were to rescue him (in the fic) then aventurine will still be in danger and both of their lives would be at risk. Buying him is the only safest option where his previous owner won't come to look for him, and I doubt the reader in that fic even knows how to fight or murder anyone lol. I think it's the most safest, efficient, and fastest solution to save slave aventurine from the abuse. I don't like buying slaves cuz it's not right, but if that's the only safest option on guaranteeing their safety and mine as well, then I'd do it even if it's against my own morals/beliefs because I know that it was out of goodwill and not out of maliciousness.

But aside from that, I would've get it if the hate in the fic (aside from death threats) was because it was borderline romanticizing slavery and is making it nsfw where the reader was taking advantage of their roles as master and slave, but it's not that at all!

Reader was literally just trying to help him get out of his hell, yet people are accusing it as a "white-knight behavior" like pls,,, they're acting as if we're having some sinister and evil motives for reading that fic.

I get you anon, it's very awkward for me as well to read aventurine fics now cuz these people ruined everything for me. I can't believe a simple harmless fic was turned into this just because it mentioned his slave past.

(I hope you'd have the chance to play the game in the future! HSR really didn't disappoint. Even thought it's a turn-based rpg, it's still a good game and is not too far off from the other popular games! I would love for you to experience the game yourself someday and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me <33)

[bassiter2]

the solution to this tbh is to just not post anything until you've already finished it. treat your stories like people treat original fiction, especially if it's long and multi-chaptered. i'm saying this as a lifelong writer, and having been publishing fanfic for 13 years:

posting chapters as they're written is the easiest way to lose interest in a story both as a writer AND a reader. personally i never start reading a fic that's unfinished because of the risk of it getting abandoned (vicious cycle, lol), as well as, tbqh, the likelihood that it just will not be good. like i'm sorry but there's an objective lack in quality that's going to happen any time that a story is not vetted for continuity before being published. even the most talented writer will miss things when they don't have the chance to go over the whole thing, in one piece, to polish it.

but even speaking only to your experience in writing a story... do you know what happens when you write chapter 3 of 10, and then post it without having yet written any of chapter 4? your wip folder is now empty. there's nothing staring at you, begging you to finish it. you have to keep re-building your own momentum every time. guilt alone will not be a powerful enough motivator when you don't have the unfinished chunk THERE. if it's posted and people are commenting on it, your brain will be partially tricked into believing the project is finished. if, god forbid, some life event happens to distract you or some other piece of media threatens to take your attention... that story is doomed.

so if you're at ALL motivated by the sense of "if i don't finish this chapter, then the 5k words i've already written will be wasted," then listen to me. you need to take that and apply it to the whole story. if you don't post anything until it's completely finished, then you've guaranteed you WILL finish the whole thing!

and if you say you need feedback to feel motivated to write, that's not really true. obviously you started writing without possibly having preemptive comments, right? everyone wants to be recognized for their work. i absolutely do. but the best feedback will be on a finished story. what you've got to do is anticipate those comments at the end. you've got to just believe that they'll come. do it all for the REAL comments, from people who aren't just tagging along for a ride but who actually have the capacity to appreciate the whole work.

you can always sprinkle hype for your project in the meantime if you really need to "not do it alone." personally i always like to keep the details of my projects a secret up until the point of posting them, but i'll drop hints and also have a couple people that i'll talk about my progress with.

this is why i have not abandoned a story in 9 years. i'm so serious. just stop posting chapter by chapter lol.

This is why writers abandon stories. It’s not that we don’t love them, it’s because we don’t want to love them alone.

[baronaliswritingcorner]

Regarding Fandom Gift Exchanges

(UPDATE - 10/10 2024 - With the Felannie Exchange under its new management, my boycott has come to an end. While I still abstain from fic exchanges for the reasons entailed below, this means an end to my fandom vacations as well as my being able to read exchange fics again. Do note, however, this'll still come with caveats -- please read this post for more details.)

Regardless, for context, I'll be leaving much of the following post intact. Updates are applied where applicable.)

Hey, all! Fair warning: there's fandom drama afoot in this post, but as I'd like to elaborate upon a leave of absence next month, it's kinda an unavoidable subject. If you'd rather skip all that, just know I'll be gone from 2/7-2/21. Hit me up on Discord if you'd like!

So, for those not in the know, I'll be taking a two-week vacation from fandom beginning next Wednesday (2/7). About twice a year or so, I disengage from the hustle and bustle of fanfiction to recharge my batteries, annnnnd this'll be one of those times. For clarification, this means I won't be around Tumblr/Bluesky during this time, so in case you notice I've dropped off the face of the internet, well, now you know why.

For those wondering, yes, this means I'm not participating in the Felannie fic exchange; actually, I'll be upfront and admit this timing's no coincidence, because you won't see me participate in any fic exchange events. Ever.

Why's that? As it happens, I entered said fic exchange some years ago -- my very first one, in fact -- and it was nothing less than an unmitigated disaster that not only completely destroyed my faith in the exchange process but very nearly ruined fandom for me. Having come off a miserable year-long adjustment period to fandom -- wherein I felt unappreciated and unwelcome in the unfamiliar realm of AO3 -- it became apparent I had to set some hard boundaries if I were to continue writing fanfiction; unfortunately, this is one such measure, and I don't foresee it going away anytime soon.

I'm sure some of you are curious about what happened; honestly, I'm hesitant to get into the "why" if only because I'd rather not ruffle any feathers on old grudges (as you'll see below, I hold an certain opinion that I know has set people off in the past), but as there's certain layers to this particular boundary, I feel it's necessary to provide some context. To summarize in three points:

1. I'm Not Being Ghosted Again. During that exchange, I spent two whole months writing a gift for a recipient I'd never met. This piece -- Waking Dream, which I still consider my Felannie masterpiece -- grew beyond my wildest dreams. It was like I was possessed: I could only watch as my fingers danced on the keyboard, typing out idea after idea, cracked gag after gag, illustrated metaphor after metaphor -- all breathed into life as a three-chapter 15k fic.

An epic fake-romance-turned-real. My very best work. Penned even under the rigors of my father's (thankfully treatable) cancer diagnosis. Meticulously designed word-by-word with, to their blessing, alterations to the recipient's original request. Daydreaming day and night of how much they'd love it. All this for someone I never knew, and my recipient responded to my passion by ghosting me.

Given the whole "year of misery" thing I just mentioned, you can imagine the heartbreak I endured.

Writing fanfic is already a stressful risk -- no one idea's guaranteed to find an audience, and it's a huge struggle molding any idea into the written word. With that in mind, the gift exchange's additional burden of expecting someone to express the basic courtesy to thank you is too unhealthy of an ask, and I'm absolutely not risking that outcome again because some asshole doesn't know when to cut ties with fandom fatigue. It's one thing to say there's little one can do about it, but regardless of the circumstances, it magnifies loneliness/rejection in what should otherwise be a celebratory event and that's just an unacceptable outcome no matter how you slice it.

2. Anonymity and I Are A No-Go. (Warning: Hot Take Alert!) While I respect the idea of post-reveal anonymity on the grounds that it provides private writers an "in" with these events, I personally don't care for the practice and I'll be quite frank in how its general treatment as an unspoken rule directly contradicts how these events are marketed. (Putting it this way: why bother with the guessing game mystery when such cases slip through the cracks after the fact? Just rip the band-aid off and be open about it so people know what they're getting into.)

To make this absolutely clear: people's reason for privacy are their own, and I don't begrudge them for that choice. But as someone who regularly struggles with fandom anxiety, I view the appeal of such events as natural avenues to bond with the community -- be it solidifying familiar bonds or making new friends -- and it's only natural to expect as much given how all that's baked into the concept. (Not to mention the thrill of the mystery.) I recognize how cold and entitled this may sound, but I simply can't meet that goal with an anon gift.

Needless to say, having just come off the ghosting sh*t, I wasn't thrilled this wasn't divulged beforehand. I'd elaborate on how things escalated -- I don't think I need to describe why "I'm not interested in sharing that rule and I'm sorry you didn't consider that beforehand" is a hollow, unempathetic apology displaying a shocking lack of humility and responsibility -- but while I won't pretend I handled that fiasco perfectly, there are reasons why I can't get into detail.

We can argue all day over what, exactly, a fic exchange entails, but the point here is that like anyone else, I'm not one to enjoy having the rug pulled under at the very last minute. Call me invasive if you must, but it's not my job to deduce unspoken caveats and I don't apologize for feeling misled.

3. The Feeling's Mutual. In case this wasn't obvious, I maintain strong objections to how the moderator runs things, and I'll leave it at that. (UPDATE - 10/10 2024 - this was in reference to the prior moderator.)

So, that's that, really.

Since that whole mess, my approach to fandom is that I approach projects that I can control. For instance, the variables involved with fic exchange events proved themselves too risky or incompatible with my tastes, but could there exist a compromise? You betcha: I'm always up for gift exchanges or fic collaborations between friends! In fact, I've done two since then -- Love, Elusive and One-Hit Knock-Out. With receptive partners eager to join hands, there's next-to-zero chance of anything going wrong, so I can happily write fics at my leisure. (Helps they both made a big splash, too! Some of my fondest memories.)

To clarify, yes, this unfortunately means I won't be reading anything from the event. I want to make perfectly clear that while the fic exchange is a huge sore spot for me, I don't begrudge anyone for entering it; seriously, go off and have fun. Really! I encourage it. My problems with the exchange are my own and the last thing I want to do is ruin everyone's fun. All I ask is that you respect my boundaries in turn and please, please don't take this personally.

Really, I wish things were different -- honestly, jumping through these hoops to stay engaged with fandom can be exhausting, and you'd be correct in assuming I'm still wrestling with some serious emotional baggage (enough, even, that I still wonder if it's all worth it) -- but I know this is my own problem to tackle and this is the healthiest method in handling it. In case you want to reach out to me, I'll still be on Discord, so hit me up or message me for my information!

[jeongjaebae]

fic summary 2k22

ayeee so it's that time of year again!! i know i haven't posted much in 2022 (like... just a handful of fics oops) but i still hit a decent word count and made significant progress on long fic wips!

so yeahhh here's my 2022 fic summary which is... basically a chance to introduce my wips LOL

Total word count written: 89,033

Total word count published: 33,243

Fandoms written: tbz and svt

1. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or what you predicted?

a bit less!! it's about half as much as i wrote last year (which was a whooping 150k word count LMAO), but this range is already more than the average for me in any given year so it's not too bad. in terms of what i POSTED though... i have no excuse for that 😅 most of my word count is from wips/ideas so i didn't have any finished content to post

2. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

last january i definitely didn't know i would write for svt!! i kind of had a feeling that deobiblr was already dying at the time, and that's around when i started watching going seventeen to get into them... but yeah didn't know i'd slip so deep into the carat life (blaming you, kim mingyu 😒)

3. What’s your own favourite story of the year?

it's a time loop au wip that i've written about 19k so far!! where our mc is stuck in a loop trying to change their fate of unrequited love by meeting [boy group member] first before his current gf does. so mc tries to alter events and change the course of fate all while trying to figure out a way to leave the loop

4. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

uhHHhhH the time loop au i suppose is a risk in itself... bc like... plotting it has been a complete pain when you're trying to consider multiple reruns of the same timeline. every detail has to be in the right place so that when the mc's actions change, we can directly see how that affects the events in the timeline

also writing domestic fluff like i did in best boy... can't say i enjoyed it but it was a good challenge!!

5. Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?

post the damn hyunjae e2l already 💀 (takes one to know one)

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year:

the time loop au ahahaha but if we're talking posted fic then the whole truth!! it has a bit of everything: decent flow and sentence structures, some important themes, tiny bit of humour, and gotta love f2l ju

My most popular story of this year:

the whole truth!! i reread this kind of recently and think it really is my best in terms of flow and sentence structure. also i really haven't posted anything else so.... yeah 😶

Most fun story to write:

hmm besides my two biggest wips i'd say it's this jogging au i wrote back in april!! where mc gets roped into a jogging date with [cute dating app boy] despite hating all kinds of exercise. it's definitely the typical jeongjaebae style of humour, secondhand embarrassment, and fluff. very fun to write and has me laughing every time i reread it LMAO

Story with the single sexiest moment:

probably the whole truth, the scene where they're making out in juyeon's room LMAO. srry i have no other contributions this year. BUT!!! my e2l wip has the full and extended scene from want so that's something to look forward to ����

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

best boy. maybe it's not terrible but idk i haven't touched it since writing it bc i hate it 🤡 domestic fluff is... not my cup of tea. i suppose it was a good writing challenge tho. maaaaybe i'll write it one day but... needs a bit more practice

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

hmm maybe 1 plus 1? writing it made me obsessed with the (og) guy in it and he shot way up my bias list. and like. i'm still in that phase rn LOL

Hardest story to write:

oh boy it's deffs the time loop au. still stuck on the plot tbh? there's just so much planning and then... the thought of it reaching 50k or something... makes me tired OTL. it's exciting to think about but at the same time, there are way too many details i still have to write. it's a bit of a struggle

Biggest surprise:

surprise surprise who knew i would be writing for svt?!? and the one piece of angst that i wrote: all that we are

Most unintentionally telling story:

let's go with the whole truth. i loved some of the concepts and moral lessons in there, like how we're not made to be someone else's object of desire. why should we exist to be beautiful to others? and the other part about how love is deeper than what an app can tell us.

Favourite opening lines:

ehh nothing i particularly like but here we go

[better than the movies]

the most relatable sentence

If your life was a movie, at this moment, you’d be that introvert at a party.

[jogging date wip]

ahh.... relatable once again. the opening here sets the tone perfectly

"Yeah, of course. A jogging date sounds perfect." That was the moment you knew you fucked up.

Favourite closing lines:

nothing will beat this is how we fall but here are some that i like

[takes one to know one]

this actually isn't at the veryyy end of my wip rn but will probably change it and make it the actual ending later bc it's so fitting!! potential spoiler i guess but not really bc we all knew what was coming right?

When he pulls back and you see the fondness in his eyes, you realize that maybe the two of you aren't so different. He may have been an asshole, but you'd pretty much been one too. You were insanely competitive but only so that you could match up to his level. And even though it took a while for you to understand your feelings for him, now you know that he's felt the same way all along. Indeed, the two of you are more similar than you think. But then again, it takes one to know one.

[the whole truth]

they went through so much and this wrapped it up nicely. the silence especially is a powerful symbol here

When Juyeon takes the final step and crosses into your range this time, the silence is something you’ve never been happier to hear.

Favourite lines from anywhere:

[the whole truth]

important life lessons 101. if someone doesn't like you that's their problem not yours LOL. why should it be your job to be likeable?

"It’s not embarrassing to not be loved back. Painful, yes, but not something to be ashamed of. You weren’t put on this world just to become someone else’s object of desire, okay?"

[time loop au wip]

not quite closing lines but could kind of be similar to that

The two of you don't talk about, but it's all too evident anyway. It's evident when you lean into him as the night gets colder, head against the crook of his shoulder, and then in the way he shifts so that his lips meet yours. It's evident in the way he kisses you, with the sweetest of a first kiss, the bitterness of a last kiss, and the constancy of making the same choice in every loop, every timeline, every lifetime.

Scenes from anywhere you would have choose to have illustrated:

for the sake of referencing posted fics, i would say the ending of redo where they're on the bench under the mistletoe!

(in terms of wips: time loop au where y/n and [redacted] are watching fireworks from homecoming week!!)

New year’s resolutions:

finish and post that damn hyunjae e2l already OTL. and like... probably finish the time loop au if possible

Word Count Totals

Total finished, posted fic: 33,243

Longest posted fic:  the whole truth ~14.2k

Longest wip: hyunjae e2l is sitting at 25k still... and time loop au at 19k... 🥲

Total number of words written: 89,033

[iboatedhere]

2021 Fic Year In Review

tagged by @carlosreyess thank you!

Total Number Of Completed Works: 37

Total Word Count: 301,177 (so far....there's another 15k or so of Wings Are Frayed that will be posted before the new year and another 3k-4k word fic I'm hoping to finish today or tomorrow)

Fandoms I’ve Written In:  911 Lone Star.

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? More. Way more. I never imagined Wings Are Frayed would end up being as long as it it. I thought it would end around 70k and I nearly doubled that.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year? I loved So Many Somethings. I always wanted to write a You've Got Mail AU and I finally got to do it.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? I feel like anytime you join a new fandom and start creating fics it's a huge risk. I was so scared to post that first fic because I didn't know anyone in this fandom so I didn't have anyone to hype me up. I just released it into the wild and hoped for the best.

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?  I want to make sure that the WIPs I'm working on now aren't thrown to the side when the new season starts.

Most Popular Story Of The Year? Me And You Back At Mama's has the most kudos, Wings Are Frayed has the most hits.

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: Prima Facie. A cute AU that underperformed, imo.

Most Fun Story To Write: So Many Somethings. Mainly because it was the fic that really kick started my friendship with @pragmaticoptimist34 and helped turn it into what it is now.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:  not 100% sure what this question is asking but Soapy Dishwater Drips might have brought out some domestic longing in me that I knew was there but didn't really want anyone to see.

Biggest Disappointment: Okay. So when I say I threw the biggest pity party for myself when I posted chapter six (I think) of Wings Are Frayed and I didn't get a comment on it for almost the whole day, you have to believe me. I straight up cried to Sonia who had to talk me down. I'm okay now, though.

Biggest Surprise: That people actually seem to like me, lol. I am very introverted and quiet in real life and have a hard time making friends and I feel like a lot of people have just...adopted me into friendship. I'm very thankful for that. (for the first time this week I'm crying happy tears at my desk instead of sad/frustrated ones)

My Favorite Part Of Fandom This Year:  I love everyone in this firehouse, tbh. I've made some really, really good friends, a few I talk to every day and I've loved how we've all made it through the hiatus and how we're all freaking out over the new promos and photos and information that we're getting leading up to the premier.

I'm going to tag @marjansmarwani @reyesstrand @howtosingit @bellakitse @kiras-sunshine @detective-giggles

[prettyboybuckley]

2021 FIC YEAR IN REVIEW

tagged by @zainclaw & @adventuresofprettyboyandthekid 💕

Total Number Of Completed Works: 58

Total Word Count: 215,078

Fandoms I’ve Written In

I started off with some fic for Shameless and then I went almost exclusively for 9-1-1, with two Teen Wolf fics in October.

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected?

Well, the expected amount was none at all. I've been writing fiction since I was 13, but I got into writing fanfiction this year after becoming obsessed with Shameless while I was also doing a creative writing class in hopes of getting out of my two-year-long writer's block. As you can see by the word count, I've succeeded.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year?

Considering the number of fics I've written, this is a really hard question. There are just so many to pick from! I suppose I'll give the same top 3 as in my other year review: what a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you, all the reasons i'm not good enough, traces of the life i've lived

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year?

Kinktober felt like one big risk, to be honest. There were a lot of days when I was like... I'm not sure anyone is going to like this. The Buddietaylor series was also a risk, considering how most of this fandom feels about Taylor. It all worked out fine, though, and especially the threesome fics got a lot more love than I expected!

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?

So, I might be slightly insane. I have written 225k since September 1st (this includes my WIP's) and have decided that next year I'm going for 500k over the whole year. Achievable? Probably, but it's going to be a challenge! A fun challenge though! I'm hoping to have at least 50k of it be original fiction since I want to try getting back into that.

Most Popular Story Of The Year?

Definitely parents always yelling (telling us to get our acts together), which is funny because it was definitely my most impromptu story. I just came across a post, was inspired and wrote it in the span of about twelve hours. It just kind of blew up!

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion

what a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you, which I will explain more about in the biggest disappointment question.

Most Fun Story To Write

I'm going to cheat a little here, since the story that I had the most fun with was the one I worked on all of November for nanowrimo, but it won't be up for another month or two: the College AU, which is my pride and joy and still about 20k from being finished.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story

welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind, maybe? A lot of Buck's insecurities are similar to my own, and to what I feel like my insecurities might be if I ever become a parent.

Biggest Disappointment

By now it's got a decent amount of kudos (317 to be exact, but it took a few months to get there) but I was mildly dissappointed by how what a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you, the stripper fic, was received. It came right after my most popular fics so to see it flop that bad didn't make me feel

Biggest Surprise

you could call me babe for christmas ('tis the damn season), the Christmas fake dating fic that was not supposed to be that long. It turned out almost double the word count it was supposed to be, and it's the longest thing I've written and finished.

My Favorite Part Of Fandom This Year

becoming a part of it! I haven't been active in a fandom since 2015, and never before while posting fanfiction and making gifs. I'm so grateful for all the friends I've made and the people supporting me ❤️❤️

I'm not tagging anyone cause it took me way too long to do this so everyone's probably been tagged 🙈feel free to do it if you want to

[closetedotaku01]

i rlly hope youll keep writing after Kinktober, bc as a writer myself i see so much potential in your writing. it's already great, but it really reminds me of my own writing from a year or two back. i was the one who asked how long you've been writing & i've been writing fanfic for 7 years so its cool to see how good you already are. youre going to improve so much over time & i'm really excited to see it, you do so many things in your stories well & theyre only going to get better! (1/2)

THIS GOT SO LONG IM SORRY!!!

This.... I—. WARMED MY HEART!! Pick a name or emoji or whatever you want and you are an official anon!! Also this got long so.. READ MORE IF YA WANNA!!

Thank you so much for saying you see potential. Sometimes I’m really.... unhappy with my work and feel like I can’t improve and this just... MADE ME SO HAPPY!! Like... hearing it from someone who does write💜💜💜💜💜 makes my whole life.

I’m so excited to keep growing and I hope you stay for the journey because this is so sweet. Maybe casually come off anon way down the road (so I can’t guess) just so I can read some of your work too 👉👈. And no worries there will be more after Kinktober. I am really enjoying this and have no plans to stop writing any time soon.

~~~~

Okay so my favorite published authors are Jandy Nelson (I’ll Give You The Sun is a book I reread constantly. It’s my comfort book. I swear if my soul was anywhere besides my body, there’s a piece of it trapped in that book.), Fredrick Backman (specifically And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer), Brigid Kemmerer (literally all of the books she’s published with Bloomsbury I’ve read and adored), and Neal Schusterman (Specifically the Arc of a Scythe Trilogy). They all write in ways that affect me deeply and they mean a lot to me. I don’t necessarily try to emulate them, but they definitely are the authors I consult (by reading and rereading their works) to get ideas and to learn how to write.

~~~~

Fanfic authors. I think I’ve made it pretty damn clear on here that I am hopelessly in love with @imaginethathaikyuu (I’m still too scared to tag her I’m sorry) and her writing. She means the whole world to me in every way. Her writing always hits me in a MAGICAL way. Especially her newer pieces. Works of hers that hit hard for me are: (please note this list is not comprehensive. These are just the FIRST ONES that came to mind. All her work is objectively great.) 

-Tsukishima accidentally teases his s/o’s insecurity - this one holds my heart.

-Heated argument with Tsukishima - this is the angst I adore. Honestly, this might be one of my TOP TOP favorites, because it feels so real. 

-Morning sex with Tsukishima -just the line “theyre your tits!” That’s all. Brings me serotonin beyond words. And it feels so genuine and lovely. Again... she makes the world so real. Also in my TOP TOP favs. (Is my Tsukki love showing too much?)

-Helping you when you can’t sleep - This is beyond words beautiful

-Helping you study - PLEASE I NEED THIS NOW

-Tanaka finding out his s/o is pregnant - YES! SHE DOES TANAKA SO WELL

-Tanka asks Kiyoko to dance.... but she says no - SO WELL 

-Riding Headcanons -🙈

-S/O is nervous about him going down on her  -because who ISNT the first time?

-Learning about your self-harm scars -hits close to home and Iwa’s makes me cry every time.

-Akaashi making it up to you after a fight -my favorite color is literally purple 💜

-Bokuto’s s/o has a nightmare - I literally revisit this one whenever I have a nightmare

- Kinktober 2019 - ALL .... but the ones I revisit the most are Tsukishima’s, Oikawa’s, Futakuchi’s, Yaku’s, Iwa’s, Yamaguchi’s, and Matsukawa’s.

-Kinktober 2020 - please GOD read Kuroo’s, Mattsun’s, Iwa’s, Suna’s, and Atsumu’s. They’re all immaculate but those in PARTICULAR were MASTERPIECES.

-Having an angsty fight - particularly Kuroo’s GETS TO ME. Like... damn. Makes me... melt. Idek why. It’s just, again, how real she makes it feel. From the atmosphere and setting to the way the characters behave. A lot of times in “argument angst” (is that a term?) the arguments feel so shallow and stupid. And I’m like “on my moodiest days I wouldn’t react like that” or “Kuroo WOULD NEVER”. But these feel so real. Ughhhh.

-You give Kenma a gift mid-stream 

-Kenma gets turned on during a stream - can you tell I love the way she writes streamer Kenma 😌 also this is my fav nsfw-esque Kenma piece solely because it feels accurate to his character in a beautiful way despite me headcanoning that he’s ace.

-Oikawa’s s/o wakes up without him there

-Iwaizumi getting.... caught.... by Makki and Mattsun... with you  -Give Iwa More Love 2020

-Tendo teasing his s/o by ... taking care of himself - One of the first Em pieces I ever read. I don’t think it was THE first. But it was definitely the first one I read like... RIGHT AFTER she posted it.

-Tendo comforting s/o who’s parents yell - hits very close to home for me, and I just wanted him to come whisk me away the first time I read this

-7MIH with Tendo  -hehe I love this more than anything. Also Ushijima’s ONE line makes me CACKLE. I’m in love with this one

-This two part series with Atsumu (1) (2) -haha I reread these too often

-Kneel to Pray  (Sakusa) -I have not even one criticism or negative thought. Not one. And I’ve read this TOO many times.

-Tough boys are soft for you - two of the best boys

- Countdown to Christmas - Days 6,7,11, and 12 are the ones I reread the most

THIS IS SO BAD!! I WENT STRAIGHT TO THESE AND DIDN’T THINK IT WAS THAT MANY COS I REREAD THESE ONES REGULARLY. (And there’s a lot more theatre good. Please explore her blog! It’s WONDERFUL) Sorry for spending too much time on Em’s blog, but also.... not sorry cos she’s amazing and all of these pieces inspire me.  I’ll try to be fast for the rest of these ahfihfadsfsjfh.

 @star-puff (catch a theme of me being scared of talented authors)’s piece La Lune and her Fleur d’Amour event (search #fleur d’amour on her blog) are so creative and beautiful and truly show how talented she is. She’s amazing. EDIT: I’m adding this as soon as I’ve read it because it just made me cry. Omg. Read this. Tsukishima royalty AU it is angst though so 👀 read at your own risk. EDIT: On GOD Meg could murder me and I’d say thanks. Please read this beautiful time stamp shit it makes me HAPPY. 

UPDATE: And Meg is now responsible for the most canon Tsukki piece I’ve ever read. 

There’s a cute SMAU called Sunshine by @pudding-head-kenma and idk how she does it. It’s so good. I could never tell a story this complex, THIS WELL, using only text messages and tweets and such. She also does mini headcanons that are REALLY cute.

Anything and everything by @haik-choo is gold. Literal gold. The way she writes Tsukishima is IMMACULATE. Toxic headcanons, mischaracterizations all of its gold. And she’s a beautiful shitposter. She drops shit that makes me CACKLE at the most random times. All of it is a big yes for me.

UPDATE: this is gold.

Of course I’ve read In Another Life and OF COURSE I sobbed. Took me AN HOUR to read because I kept having to take breaks to just.... sob. VERY MUCH A HEAVY DUTY ANGST. Not for the weak of heart. BokuAka. This is probably the oldest piece I’ve read that still HITS for me. 

There are other pieces but I can’t remember them.... probably will come back and add to this post later.

Thank you for this ask. Thank you for being so kind and inspiring. I was kinda worried about releasing anything I’ve ever written and still get nervous sometimes so this ask makes me feel a hell of a lot better and makes me feel like I’m joining a WONDERFUL community like... Look at all that talent ^^^^.