#I've never been good at being active on any platform

[kiraxo]

I hate being new to things, I got Tumblr last week and I want to become active but I just don't know how😭. Like do I just start posting random stuff hoping people will like it and interact with it?? (I've never been active on any social media platform).

Anyway here are some things I like:

-Dead Poets Society.

-(Classic) literature.

-Hannibal nbc.

-Good Omens

-Movies in general (not really a fan of superhero movies tho).

-60s, 70s, 80s and 90s music.

-Specifically David Bowie, Beatles, Jeff Buckley, Nirvana and The Cure.

-Vintage clothes and houses (vintage anything tbh)

-History and old stuff

Any and all tips on how to start being active in any of these communities are highly appreciated🙏🙏.

[writingquestionsanswered]

how does one manage when there's no feedback, no engagement, no... anything? the last few things i've published have gotten zero. it's frustrating. it's discouraging.

Getting No Feedback/Engagement

It's frustrating when you put your work out there and don't get any engagement or feedback. However, what to do about it (if anything at all) depends on how you're publishing and what you want the feedback for.

Whether you're publishing books/e-books or publishing online via your blog or a fiction-sharing site like AO3, it's never a good idea to rely on reader comments for feedback to help you improve your writing. If you want feedback for improvement, it's best to utilize alpha and beta readers, critique groups, critique partners, and feedback exchanges with other writers.

If you want the feedback an engagement because you want to know that someone is enjoying your work, or because you want to make sure you're building a following, you'll need to spend some time learning how to build an audience on the platform you're using. It's so important to remember that there are over 6 million registered users on AO3, for example, and over 11 million stories. Kindle Direct Publishing on Amazon hosts a couple million authors, with millions of books being sold each year. Tumblr has 135 million active users with 21 million new posts created each day. So, you no matter where you're publishing your stories, there is an unimaginable amount of competition. Unfortunately, you can't just post your stories and expect people to flock to them. That's why it's so important to learn how to build an audience on the particular platforms you're publishing on, and then you'll want to learn how to utilize social media to help get your work out there. For example, if you publish on a fiction-sharing site or your blog, you'll want to make sure you're using all the right tags and other metrics to draw people to your story. It's also extremely important that you support and engage with other writers... read and comment on their stories, boost them when appropriate. You might also consider starting a social media page specifically to find more readers. For example, let's say you write Supernatural fic and post it to AO3. You might make an Instagram page for your fiction, post SPN related memes and content, and update potential readers when new stories go up. Again, symbiosis is super important. If you don't engage with others, they won't engage with you.

If you're publishing books/e-books, you'll want to spend some time learning the best ways to promote your books, which will include things like figuring out who your audience is and where to find them, learning the proper tags, figuring out what kind of advertising speaks to them most, and learning to create promotional images and videos.

No matter what, it's really a matter of taking the time to get your work out there and find your audience. Because regardless of where you publish, they're unlikely to find you if you don't do the work to find them first.

Best of luck! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[steddieas-shegoes]

just make the tik tok

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'behind the scenes'

rated t | 880 words | no cw | tags: famous corroded coffin, modern au, frankie is anti-tik tok

📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱📱

Joining Tik Tok was a mistake.

"I cannot believe you thought having a band Tik Tok would be a good idea," Frankie said to Jeff as they watched Eddie and Gareth doing some stupid dance. "Look at them. They're stupid. You made them more stupid."

"I just thought it was a good way for people to see behind the scenes of the tour. Everyone agreed!" Jeff shook his head as he saw Gareth lose his balance and grab onto Eddie's shoulder to stabilize himself.

"The last one got 300,000 likes. We gained followers who never listened to our stuff before. They may be stupid, but my plan isn't."

Frankie sighed, but didn't argue further. Jeff was right. He just hoped he never had to do any ridiculous dances or trends to keep people interested in their music.

****

"You guys have gained thousands of followers on all platforms since you started being active on Tik Tok. It may be wise for all of you to be on camera," one of the producers of their album suggested.

"Not happening." Frankie shook his head. "They get what they want from those two idiots."

"Hey!" Gareth and Eddie yelled in unison.

Jeff waved them off. "If Frankie doesn't wanna do them, he doesn't have to. We agreed that this was a voluntary thing."

"Yes, we did. But we're seeing growth and there's been a trend of comments asking where he is in some of the videos."

"I'm in some videos," Frankie crossed his arms. "That stage tour one. I was setting up my bass."

"But people wanna see you. They wanna get to know you, feel connected. That's the beauty of this era. We can make fans feel like they're truly a part of the band, which leads them to sharing and buying." One of the managers of the PR team said. "It's good for your brand if you're just as involved as they are."

"I didn't know we needed to have a brand beyond metal band." Frankie rolled his eyes and stood up from the couch he was sitting on. "I'm gonna head to the studio and work on music. Which is our job."

No one tried to stop him.

****

"There's a woman who keeps asking where you are." Eddie shakes his phone in front of Frankie's face. "She thinks you're leaving the band and is begging you to stay."

"Tell her I'm not leaving the band." Frankie sat down at the table on the tour bus with his bottle of beer and the shrimp leftover from catering at their show. "Though the urge is strong when Gareth keeps drinking my beers."

"She's hot," Eddie continued, seemingly ignoring Frankie's words. "You should make a video so she knows you're not going anywhere."

Frankie rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing a fuckin' Tik Tok."

Eddie held the phone out to him, showing him the woman's profile.

She was hot.

And apparently only ever really concerned with where Frankie was. She'd even sent a DM asking if he was okay.

"Fine. How do I make one?" Frankie asked with a sigh.

"Seriously? We beg you for two months to make one and it's a hard no, but one hot girl wants you to be in one and you're ready to become a social media influencer?" Eddie teased.

"As if you didn't make an entire series of videos rating new pop songs because Steve asked you to."

Frankie grabbed Eddie's phone, ignoring his flailing to try to grab it back.

The app was already open, and he found it surprisingly easy to start recording a video.

"Hey everyone. I'm not leaving the band. I just hate social media shit. I'm fine. I'm not mad at anyone. Except Gareth who owes me 83 beers from stealing mine over the last six years. Yes, I've counted." Frankie sees a timer counting down and decides to give an awkward wave with his other hand before stopping the video. "That should be fine, right?"

He didn't wait for Eddie's response before saving and posting it.

"Uh. Usually they look at them before we post." Eddie explained as he took his phone back.

"They can take it down later if they want."

'That's...not really how this shit works, dude."

Frankie shrugged and continued eating his shrimp for a few minutes until Jeff came to sit next to him, calm as ever.

"You made a video." He yawned, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Yeah."

"It's got 54,000 likes already."

"Can't help that I'm charming."

"It hasn't been that many beers!" Gareth yells from his bunk, half-asleep.

"Your girl messaged," Eddie handed Frankie the phone with a smirk.

Glad you're not going anywhere 💗

"You better get her number, dude." Jeff nudged his arm. "She wants you so bad."

****

Nearly a year later, and more Tik Toks than he ever hoped to be a part of, Frankie smiled down at the VIP section for their sold out show at Madison Square Garden.

Sasha stood there smiling back at him, singing along to all their songs.

After the show, he'd probably be pulled into a stupid video with Eddie or Gareth, but he didn't really complain anymore. Not when those stupid videos were responsible for bringing him his future wife.

[qoldenskies]

Hi, this is a silly question, but welp. Do you think publishing new content on ao3 pays off? I feel like the fandom is dying a bit and I don't know if it's worth writing ff :((

maybe this is just my personal opinion because i wasnt here at the height of the hype especially in 2022 (i watched the show in march 2024 and got into the fandom in june), but the rise fandom is not dying, dont worry.

there are posts here that frequently get thousands of notes, sometimes within days, fics that have gotten pretty popular that are RECENT, a whole culture of aus and events and zines that are still running.

ive been in dying fandoms (the pjo book fandom is so dead yall its joever) and in fandoms that were never even big in the first place (i was in a niche pokemon webcomic community that had upwards of maybe like 40 people active in its discord server, and most of the adults there were republicans or child groomers or usually both .... i know hell, i was there for like four years. trust me) and i havent been in a community as big as rise's since liiike. 2019, i think!

and regardless of any new official content coming out, its also good to note that there are a lot of active and dedicated tmnt fans who make official content for other, much older iterations too, and ive noticed a lot of the people who do are older which is definitely a good thing. fandoms at the peak of their hype are usually INSANELY preteen-infested and it's not a good environment i think should be desired. the discourse i see going around on tiktok right now is deranged but its not new by any means. i REFUSE to be a boomer because im only 18 and i know what its like to be 12, but i do not desire nor envy that kind of fame BAHFHDHGH

but like still. point i was getting to is that even if its not at its peak of popularity i dont think the fandom will be dying any time soon and it's not something to be afraid of. i can cite several fics that did wonderfully in numbers (although i dont recommend basing quality off that, its just important to note) despite being recent and have had the fandom in a chokehold as of late. canary continuity could probably count as one of those considering how crazy it was around november or so..... i miss november :')

i think we all kind of see ourselves like drops of water in a bucket and hesitate to come in so strong because we underestimate the importance of our own voices, especially because fandom attracts very socially anxious people, but a lot of the anxiety about engagement can be mitigated by engaging yourself and being the change you want to see! this also counts with creating content-- the thing about ao3 is that you can have completely different audiences for different fics unlike other platforms from what i've seen, so something may flop at first and then do really well later, or even take a while to kick off (cvd and coming undone have been getting some love lately ive noticed... i keep telling myself i'll continue them and then forgetting)

i'd say its definitely worth a shot to post, because ive noticed that ao3 comment sections are overwhelmingly positive in most cases. ive gotten some passive-aggressive or pushy comments before (usually out of confusion because they werent paying attention, which isnt my fault, or because theyre excited and what to see more, which i still do find flattering) but its always been in a sea of a lot of really wonderful people, which has been really helpful because i have disabling anxiety and constantly doubt myself haha.

i think the advice i see a lot of "write for yourself" is kind of unhelpful and doesn't get to the root of the problem because i think it takes away from the fact that art is such a deeply social part of human expression, and we create it to share it,,, i think a better way to put it is that you should write self-indulgently, and there's always a good chance of finding your people by the time you're finished-- i've connected with a lot of people with VERY similar tastes to me because of my writing and it's been miraculous because as great as my other friends are, their interests vary wildly from mine LOL. its worth it even if you dont kick off immediately!!! and of course i urge everyone to engage with artists and writers whenever you can, it means the world to them!!

[merakiui]

MERA!!!! I have no one else to ramble/rant about this to since I fear it's a pretty uncommon experience, but have you ever read a wonderful piece of work by someone who unfortunately ended up deactivating/leaving most socials? ;ª;

There's this one darker Tweels fic called "Aphotic" currently listed on ao3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124492/chapters/66236443 link for good measure)- which if im not sure if you've ever read, but oh. My. God. It's such a great fic that really hits the spot for darker content of the tweels. The characterization of Jade and Floyd are absolutely my favorite in this fic as they're just *incredibly* mean to the reader but in a tasteful way. Bonus points also go to how the author wrote the mc(reader) as well, everyone in this fic is just equally fucked up and reading through this story is just one incredible rocky ride..there are only two surviving chapters and one of the two is Floyd focused, but I don't wanna spoil the main plot of the fic for anyone that may be interested in reading just please take the warning that when I say the tweels are mean, they are MEAN..

unfortunately the fic is not only unfinished but as I mentioned earlier, in a devastating turn of events the author of the series completely deactivated D: they were also on tumblr once I think they went by twstedworks? But there's no longer any way to see any of their works on this platform anymore which is just so unfortunate,, I get an intense feeling of past-felt-fomo knowing I wasn't able to see any of their other stuff while they were an active writer knowing that they seemed to be active in 2020(?) Which was a time I wasn't really reading any written works for twst... but regardless of whatever reason they chose to leave the platform I do hope they're doing well now.

I'm sad that I'll never be able to see the jade centric part of Aphotic, or be able to see any of their previous dribbles or works since they've all been completely wiped. I have followed good yan/dark twst writers and blogs in the past that have deactivated or moved on for whatever personal reason in the past but it does really suck in this case not being able to at least, in the slightest , have been able to experience other stuff this author may have wrote which im sure was delightful orz...

Reminder to readers and consumers of fanfic on here to always show support and motivation to your favorite writers!! You never know when you'll never get the chance to read anything from them ever again :( and thank you esp Mera for being one of my favorite twst blogs of all time on here!! Your interpretations of the tweels have always been my favorite from any blog and the way you choose to write these characters in general never disappoints ✨️

If this does get answered, being as this is my first ever formal ask, may I be 🪆 anon? Or 🍮🥄 if that's taken ^_^

Hi hiii, 🍮🥄 anon!!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I know that experience... >_< it's happened to some of the stories/authors I followed. It's always so sad when writers deactivate/leave the platform or fandom/etc, but everyone has their reasons. I can only be grateful I was able to behold such enjoyable works!!! :D "Aphotic" sounds like such an interesting story!! I love mean tweels. <3 I'll have to check it out!

I think I've read some writings from twsted-works before they deactivated! It was so long ago (before I even had a tumblr account), but I remember adoring the way they wrote Octavinelle. I hope they're doing well wherever they are!!

And you're so right!!! It's always important to show support and love to artists, creators, writers, etc! Most, if not all, writers love to receive feedback on their work. Even something like a keyboard smash or a dozen heart emojis is very flattering to us because it shows us that you've enjoyed the work. Whether you show that enjoyment by commenting, liking, reblogging, or sending an ask on here, it's always lovely to spread appreciation for the hard work and time that goes into crafting wonderful stories!!! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Thank you so much for your sweet words!! I'm just happy to be able to write and share stories!! It's a huge honor you would consider me one of your favorite twst blogs. I'm beyond flattered!!!! ♥️✨

[someguywriting]

I've been seeing something over the last couple days that is extremely alarming. I'm sure you have, too.

Social media posts, tags and accounts are beginning to be suppressed. It's no secret that Trump and his goons have a Monopoly on all the popular social media apps, like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and it is extremely likely that TikTok has been sold to Meta.

It's extremely disturbing to think about simply in the context of American adults. Nobody is immune to propaganda, but especially not under educated, cell phone addicted Americans being fed propaganda by their government without any authority to fact check or dispute information. But something even more disturbing is the presence of another demographic.

You know who's on these apps? Children. Impressionable, vulnerable children and teenagers with developing brains who spend hours and hours scrolling on social media. Who look to social media for their news, their facts.

And, even more disturbing is the plans the American government has for the department of education. It's very clear here what is going to be done, what we've been seeing for years and years that radical right wing groups always, always push for; the suppression of truth and science in favor of an authoritarian agenda. And, in the modern day, I believe we are witnessing an attempt to replace human critical thinking with Artificial Intelligence.

In other words, vulnerable, impressionable children being raised in a generation where the average teenager has 8+ hours of screen time in a day are now going to be active in online spaces where propaganda is going to be pumped into their minds, while activism and truth is suppressed. Artificial intelligence can do all the work for them, critical thinking will be a "waste of time", and already inadequate education systems are going to be tarnished the rest of the way.

This is terrifying. This is disgusting. This is fascism.

We've become so reliant on social media for communication with our loved ones, communities, for a platform to speak our minds, that it's too difficult to simply cease using these apps. Children are already chemically addicted to them. We are, too.

What in the world can we do about any of this? How do we fight against a dictatorship that suppresses us when we try? What about climate change, the end of the Earth?

Is this the end for us?

That's a terrifying thought, but it's one you should keep in your mind for the days to come.

It's a question many other generations were forced to ask themselves, too. The threat was just as real then as it is now.

Maybe some of you have thought about death, before. Maybe you have come close, or believed you did. I have. And from that, one thing that's stuck with me, one question that's stuck out in my mind for years now, is one I try to live by every day. One reason I'm writing this all out in a hope to reach somebody, anybody, make someone think.

If you died, would you be proud of what you left behind?

Would you be confident to say that you did what you thought was right? Would your grandchildren be proud of you? Can you be certain that you would be remembered as a good, caring person who tried to do the best they could in a terrible situation? Or will society let your memory fade away as somebody who couldn't lift a finger to help in the face of injustice?

You can do so much more than you think you can. Resist. Being kind, compassionate and understanding is resistance. Listening to the stories of your fellow human beings is resistance. Thinking for yourself and keeping your eyes open is resistance. Not letting your fear paralyze you is resistance.

You'll never get a more meaningful chance to change the world than you will right now. Keep your eyes and ears open. Resist until the end. Protect our children and crush the fascists.

Do it for yourself, if you have to. But do it. The time to act is now.

[velvetvexations]

All the Dropout transmisogyny discourse anons I got, because there are a ton. I don't have much to add here that I haven't already said and aren't going to repeat a million times in the near future, and I have a million more asks still in my inbox, so these don't have answers, but each of them has values of their own and I'm happy to platform them. Yall are very insightful and articulate.

cw for suicide mention

"dropout doesn't have enough transfems"

my best friend tried to kill herself a couple of months ago just because being alive as a poor trans fem in a red state is that fucking painful and difficult. that's the state of the world for 90% of trans people. and that other 10%? thats you (not you velvet, the people that are whining about dropout).

shut the FUCK up about dropout. you don't fucking care about trans women, you care about being mad about stupid bullshit so you can get off to feeling oppressed by the only company on fucking earth who is making ANY effort to fucking platform and take care of queer artists. it is so disgustingly priveleged to be upset about a fucking streaming platform as small as dropout not having "enough" of the Right Kind of Tranny on it.

i am so sick of these fucking people. trans people are getting fucking murdered and killing themselves, we are losing our fucking siblings, and instead of trying to take action to stop & prevent violence against us, they're bitching online because Show They Don't Watch doesn't have enough trans women on it.

______________________________________________________________

Ngl this discord is coming off very white and representative politics had already been disproven by black folks in America. Representation is nice but does nothing to fix the root issues, why expect a private company to be able to fix it? This anger could be place in more productive and necessary trans issues

______________________________________________________________

the talk about dropout not including transfems annoys me on a couple of levels of like, yeah, they could have more transfems. factual statement. but there very well may be transfems working in or around dropout that either are in the closet or don't feel like making themselves known, and demanding that you know the agab (tma or tme) of every person involved in dropout just so you can fufill some kind of tme vs tma trans quota is. a tad fucked up.

______________________________________________________________

"#and people have been pointing out how its fucked that theres p good transmasc representation on drop out" wow! I hate this! like i guess i should be grateful that they're saying the quiet part out loud or whatever but how have we gotten to a point where having good trans representation is "fucked"??? just because it's not the Specific Type of Trans you want to see represented. Especially when the most prominent one came out and transitioned after being hired???? so they weren't even hired to fill some "quota" of representation ALSO i think i sent asks to you about this before but i'm tired as fuck of people just immediately pointing at nonbinary people and calling them transmasc!!!! y'all are so fucking exorsexist and binarist that you genuinely view the world as "men and men-adjacent" and "woman and woman-adjacent" we're never escaping the hell that is binary gender norms are we. also like. immediately calling all nonbinary people transmasc is actively participating in the erasure of transfem nonbinary people. you don't know someone's ASAB by looking at them. you don't know how or if someone has transitioned already. all you know is that they're not cis and use they/them pronouns. as a smaller note, i've seen people saying something like the drag queens don't count as transfem rep on dropout and it makes me so angry! why are we buying into the Rupaul Drag Race-ification of drag that tries to deny the foundational role trans people of all types have in drag? did they bother to look into the queens to see which are transfem or not?? i cannot name a drag queen in my city that is a cis man. i live in a major city. i'm sure they're out there, but the scene is rightfully filled with trans women artistically expressing exploring and celebrating their gender. this dropout drama is so manufactured and for what. what's the goal here? dropout reads to me like a group of comedians who are friends and are still sticking together after college humor died. it's not like they have constant main cast recruitment drives, from what i can tell, it's more of a "hey I (dropout cast member) know this other comedian that'd be a great fit. we should hire them". i'm just so tired of this faux moral outrage when nothing of substance has occurred and every trans person in my life is struggling to afford to survive and being crushed under the weight of the ongoing supreme court case on gender affirming care

______________________________________________________________

I don’t have the energy to unblock plaidos long enough to rewrite the anon I forgot I wouldn’t be able to send, but I don’t think she understands that Bezos (owner of Amazon Prime, a much larger streaming service with presumably dozens of original shows, but I don’t actually know and don’t really care) could buy Sam Reich for exactly his net worth literally a million times over and eat him for breakfast as easily as he could anyone else in this country. Why are we supposed to be mad at him for not being above and beyond what every other company’s standards are?? Show me PROOF trans women are getting snubbed for roles on Dropout shows or shut the fuck up. A show having any ONE trans person should be seen as a win, now we have to have multiple kinds? (And don’t think us nonbinary people can’t see the blatant fucking binary they’re boiling trans rep down to. At least make the categories “transmisogyny affected” “transandromisia affected” (that’s the term Ive seen the least hate for so in my head it’s what the tmas are most okay with) and “exorsexism affected” and pretend to care about unaligned enbans not IDing as teansfem or transmasc?????

okay im done i should really go to bed i don’t even know why i care ive never watched a dropout show i guess im just fucking sick of people inventing problems where there are none so they can feel properly downtrodden. Im in constant physical pain and going on year 5 of disability benefit denials, my anxiety is off the charts, im falling back into suicidal ideation since the election, and I’m homeless and once again living with my queerphobic just left of fundie family. Some of us have REAL FUCKING PROBLEMS and there’s plenty of other stuff being created that claims to care about queer people and has yet to have any trans rep. Go yell at goddamn disney some more, fuck!!!!)

______________________________________________________________

So how do you think all the people mad about dropout right now would react to me pointing out the lack of transmasc creators on nebula?

______________________________________________________________

i wouldn't be surprised if one of the reasons trfs are deciding to get mad at dropout is because you like it

______________________________________________________________

I was reading the dropout discourse with a furrowed brow. Real stink face situation. Just due to the ridiculousness of it all. And my boyfriend comes up and goes "hey :D! Wait, what's wrong?" N I'm like "nothing, just ppl being dumb." And he was like "oh. Well, it's snowing outside! :D" and we went outside with the dog and played in the snow and it was a real eye opening experience. Real ppl online vs people in real life kind of situation.

People online: the streaming platform Dropout is not TMA enough

People in real life: hey, it's snowing outside!

______________________________________________________________

yknow how right wing pundits will pick the culture war du jour to make a huge deal out of? remember how they were SO upset about mr potato head being potato they or whatever, which was quickly dropped because santa claus is black sometimes and we need to be worried about that, which was then dropped because the green m&m wasnt sexy enough...

and how it's this neverending cycle of picking non-issues to fight about? because it's more about riling up general-your base, making them think everyone is out to get them all the time in all these insidious ways, to make the entire world seem darker and more dangerous than it is? and when people outside this circle say these are non-issues, their lack of understanding about how bad the world actually is serves to further rile up that same base, who now think they're the only truth-seers?

anyway, dropout has marginally more tmascs than tfems and we're all really very mad about this real issue

______________________________________________________________

People are really showing their ~tme discourse~ asses with this dropout thing because like: by their own stupid framework definition isn’t TME supposed to be all non-transfems? So like… cis people? But their graphs are instead just singling out Beardsley as the Evil Appropriating Interloper Stealing Opportunities From Real Trans People. Like… y’all aren’t even PRETENDING that your entire position isn’t just “fuck transmascs in particular”

______________________________________________________________

re: the dropout discourse like yeah it did take a while for Brennan to make a transfem NPC but does nobody remember The Seven??? a whole season where a transfem PC was played by a transfem person? i haven’t finished the season yet but cmon people. it came up in like the first or second episode.

[britts-galaxy-brain]

I'm not asking this out of malice or as a way to undermine the allegations you and others have put against LO, but out of curiosity as an outsider to this whole thing & who may not even know all the details:

Whats the point of having a whole blog just dedicated to stalking/obsessing over her? If anything from what I've seen nobody is going to ever get a confession from her. There unfortunately isn't enough proof to charge her with anything or put her behind bars (for the CSA allegations). And even after the KP video and the countless others reacting and talking about it, she hasn't been deplatformed (most people only talk about her shitty media opinions anyway). Also her diehard fans aren't going to be swayed because LO constantly lies and victimizes herself. At this point wouldn't just be better to move on and accept that somebody like LO is never going to change?Isn't it tiring to constantly have to talk about her and see her deny the things she did to you?

Perhaps this is something that's been asked before but I'm not sure like I said above I am not aware of everything surrounding this situation.

First of all, I don't obsess over her. I take frequent breaks from this blog, I have blogs outside of all this, and I have stuff going on irl that I have to prioritize over this.

My original reason for starting this blog was an attempt to warn others, and attempt to reach out to any shred of humanity Lily may have had. My first post on here was an open letter directly to her, talking about how much it pained me to see how low she'd fallen, and practically begging her to get help.

Once that got thrown back in my face and the smearing started, my goal shifted to just warning others about her. I'm not trying to get a confession out of her. I've given up all hope of her ever changing. But considering I have personal experience with her, and was a witness to her outright admitting to being an active danger to children, I can't in good conscious fully step away until she loses her influence at the very least.

The thought of walking away knowing that she's using her platform to abuse and target actual children doesn't sit well with me.

Side note: Commenting on things people post publicly is not anywhere near stalking and I'm getting really tired of people warping the meaning of that word. If I went out of my way to go to Canada and post up around her residence, that would be stalking. Responding to shit she spews on her public social media accounts is not in any way stalking.

[celli-ohs]

If you are a HYBE supporter, MHJ anti, or NJS anti unfollow me right now. Block me even. My blog is not for you.

I've been collecting my thoughts about the MHJ/NJS v HYBE issue for quite some time now, but with the recent speech the girls made at KGMA, Belift filing a new complaint and demanding 2 billion won, and MHJ claiming Belift is using Illit as a shield, I cannot take the idiocracy any more.

The amount of misinformation being spread on basically all platforms, but exclusively on TikTok and X, is astounding. More than half of the time I'll see a tweet it's just straight up harassment towards the NJS girls. How can anyone with a sane mind read that and think "Yeah, this is appropriate to post onto the internet for the entire world to see, something that will be linked to me and my digital footprint forever". I'm not saying this only for NJS though, I've seen some nasty toxic Bunnies post heinous things about the Illit members, just because of something their company or CEO said/did. This issue has nothing to do with Illit, Le Sserafim, or any other group that was mentioned/involved, OTHER than NEWJEANS. All of this has to do with HYBE and specific staff, including the new ADOR staff.

I was a Bunny way before I was a Moa or an Engene. NewJeans was the first kpop group I'd bought an album for. I was listening to them not even really knowing they were a kpop group. They're so popular that at my old job they played their songs on the radio, which is how I discovered them. I owe it to them for introducing me to so many amazing groups, people, and cultures. Without knowing them, I wouldn't even know what HYBE and their other groups (besides BTS obvi) were. Currently, NJS is one of the few groups (both girls and boys) I fully stan. I'm proud to stan them too, they are an amazing group of girls who are talented, and full of hope and positivity. They're impact on not only South Korea, but the entire globe is and that is an incredible feat. And I don't want to dismiss any other groups achievements, as a fan of kpop it's exciting to me whenever there's positive news about any group, we should all be able to uplift and support one another, not tear each other down.

That is why I find it so heartbreaking to see toxic fans hating and harassing NJS and Bunnies. I always thought kpop fans held such a great community, no matter what groups you liked. We all share the same interest, same musical genre. To watch people who are so blinded by anger and rage, brainwashed by a greedy dictatorial company, and paint five young women/girls as the devil incarnate, it's sickening. I've seen people say that NJS are idiots, pretending to be victims, that they are actively looking to be groomed. How do you feel as a human being, to claim these things (and more bad things!) about five people you've never even met before? Have you heard them say this? From their own mouths? From their own will? I just don't understand why we as fans have to constantly fight each other over the menial things, when the larger and more concerning problem(s) are dismissed.

I've seen a lot of HYBE supporters recently site the hardships of their faves, attempting to use it against NJS in hopes of defaming them and discrediting/invalidating their mistreatment. This makes zero sense to me. Do these people not realize that they are essentially saying that idols/trainees must suffer in order to debut/be "good enough"?? You'd rather your faves struggle and just accept that their company is shitty and will treat them horribly than to see them have good treatment that they deserve?? "Enhypen had a broken A/C unit in their practice room, but they didn't complain" Be so fucking for real right now. "TXT used to practice in a moldy room, it was growing mushrooms but they never cried about it." And you sound like you want to keep them there with that statement. Idk about you, but if I had the power to help in any way for my faves to have an easier time pre/post-debut, I would do it in a heartbeat.

There's a lot of misogyny/sexism and racism linked to the hate train towards NewJeans. Antis are constantly claiming that only "old predatorial men" are their fans (when in reality most Bunnies are young women themselves!). I've seen many tweets where people are lying, saying that MHJ is prostituting the girls, and that whenever they are photographed within the vicinity of a man they are selling their bodies to gain popularity. There is no actual proof of any of this. The only "old men" who are seemingly sexualizing NJS are Belift. Separately, the racism towards Hanni for being Vietnamese is also disgusting. Not just antis on X, but that SNL Korea skit where they make fun of her accent, that was not okay. Racism has nothing to do with the issue of mistreatment within HYBE, and that is bullying. Anyone who believes they are allowed to hate on NewJeans because they are women or because a member isn't Korean needs to reevaluate their morals because that is an infringement of human rights.

TXT is my ult group, and Enhypen is my second favorite group. Both of them are under HYBE as well, which puts me in an odd spot as a fan of the three groups. But in all honesty, I do not like HYBE, I do not condone anything they've done that hurts any of their artists. And looking at their track record... they've hurt their artists a lot, and not just NJS. If we look at Belift specifically, the way they treat Enhypen is unfair. The release of their internal documents says it all: Belift as a company knows and understands that the Enhypen members are exhausted and overworked, yet they dismiss it and force them to continue pushing. Never-ending tours and comebacks, forced promotions of brands that support the genocide of Palestine, rejecting brand ambassadorships for Sunoo, I'm sure there's more that I missed. If Enhypen has been and still is being treated this way, I cannot imagine what they might do to Illit, as if they hadn't already set these girls up. Those girls don't deserve the hate either. All I can ask for is for both groups to be treated like human beings, and not pay pigs. It hurts me to see the members in so much pain and exhaustion.

With TXT I do admit I see more leniency towards them, and my guess is because they are under Bighit, and are directly BTS's juniors. But when I see stuff like them also being constantly overworked, using Yeonjun to belittle other idols who are his friends, favoring certain members over others, etc. I'm reminded that my ult group also suffers under the hand of HYBE. Even though TXT is successful and popular, that doesn't mean everyone (including their company) will treat them with respect. I've seen some people on X send hate/concern towards Soobin specifically, as he did speak on Weverse (I think) about how TXT focused on their comeback rather than the lawsuit/complaints against HYBE and MHJ. And to be honest, I can understand why some people felt a bit disappointed or hurt by him saying this because honestly, I was a little as well. But mainly I felt this way because I knew he would say something like this, he was probably told to say this to not start more drama. It's a safe option because it's a true fact, they all have been too busy to really be able to interject into this situation that does not technically involve them. As fans, we only know what we're shown, and as a Moa I just hope all the members are safe, healthy, and are treated with kindness.

Seventeen's Seungkwan's statement on his IG is such a beautifully written letter, and it shows and proves that even senior artists can and will be used by their companies for profit as if they aren't human beings. It's so dehumanizing, what these companies do to their groups. Because at the end of the day, not only is it HYBE (who is admittedly a very big perpetrator) it's the entire industry. You could name any company, and at some point, they'd mistreated their artist. This is why I support NewJeans and their endeavor to better the lives of idols and trainees. These five women/girls know and understand that what is happening to them is not humane. The amount of sabotage towards a successful group like them is so backward, it makes no sense. Whether or not you classify it as bullying, no one should hear others being told to ignore them, especially in a culture like Korea's where greetings are so significant. Stopping a comeback and surprise fansign from happening for an unknown reason is unfair. Documenting the plan and intention to get rid of the entire group as a whole and replace them with a junior group that needs more time to train is downright despicable.

To NewJeans: I'm so sorry for what you all have been through. Thank you for being the smart, strong, and brave young ladies you are. I will always support you and love you. Thank you for creating beautiful music, videos, and content. I'm so happy to be a fan of kpop, and so proud to be a Bunny! Wherever you go I will follow with much love!

To my followers: I still plan to write for TXT and Enhypen. I still love them very much, despite their shitty company. Personally, I've learned to separate my writing from the companies, because, at the end of the day, I'm writing about my own storylines and plots that I created. Besides, it's fiction and 99% of my works are fluff and crack which does not harm anyone. But if you have a problem with my opinions/views on this situation regarding HYBE and NJS, then my blog isn't for you.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/2/2024

in which i try to clean two different boxes with varying success

new people: hello! the tuesdaypost is a weekly roundup of stuff i've been listening, reading, watching, playing, and making. it is NOT a recommendation series, although i sometimes dabble in critique. when im firing on all cylinders i ask "what is the core concept of this? does it succeed in what i think it's trying to do and what it says it's doing?is it well-made but i dislike it/beautiful but not for me? why? what parts Really Work?"

if you are into purity culture, yelling at other people about the problematic media they consume, or are under 18 i am going to have very little patience for you.

listening

now that i live in houston i am legally obliged to loop the new beyonce album 24/7. there is absolutely truly nobody fucking doing it like her. every song is a multimedia art piece. goddamn do i miss the album as a tool to convey a specific concept/listening order/flow. sometimes (chappell roan most recently comes to mind, although it does feel unfair to compare anyone to beyonce) every individual song is pretty good but the listening experience if you sit down and listen all the way through the album is unpleasant and choppy. not so here. NEVER here.

my favorite like Dance Number is YA YA (it samples nancy sinatra's boots! and the beach boys' good vibrations! wildly different tones despite coming out a year apart!)

the one that goes on four different character/tone playlists is BODYGUARD.

great early roundup of influences, samples, and collaborators. delighted to see five fingers for marseilles listed, a rocky but underrated south african neo-western free on tubi rn for americans

-

reading

also very texas-relevant with the recent pornhub lawsuits! pornhub and sex tech (among other things) have been samantha cole's beat for almost ten years. i trust her to report sensitively and not for like. shock clicks

this site has a free paywall (sign up with your email for a link to the full article) so bots have a harder time scraping articles: this is a journalist-founded site with only the four founders running it and writing articles. while annoying i do think this is a reasonable measure

The platform still has problems, but after years of critical reporting and a litany of legal and reputational consequences, Pornhub is now more heavily moderated than any other porn platform, and most major social media platforms, for that matter. A growing list of age verification laws has put Pornhub in a position where it is compelled to block access to its site in seven states and counting. In theory, these laws are designed to prevent children from being able to access pornography online. In reality, what is going to happen is that children are going to end up on pornographic sites that don’t care what the law says, and where some of the most harmful content that exists online is actively promoted to them.

she's also got a new limited series podcast with CBC about the rise and fall of pornhub, which was fascinating and kept me company during an extremely early morning drive

-

watching

i'm lukewarm about this one but i spend a lot of time getting there, much like this movie

ive been watching a lot of frankly dogshit thrillers, which has made me wonder: what's the deal with supervillans? where did they come from? and thence arrived at the prototypical film Dr Mabuse the Gambler (1922, dir. Lang). the four and a half hour cut on Kanopy is two normal-length movies superglued together, which makes sense as a streaming product but it is sort of a terrifying runtime and took me three days to get through.

sometimes, as we know, i get a real bee in my bonnet about visiting the early versions of things. dr mabuse is the blueprint for every james bond and mission impossible villain, or really any shadowy supervillain with power over [INDUSTRY] or [THE MARKET]. it is a four and a half hour long cat and mouse game through lavish, eccentric sets between mabuse and prosecutor wenk. it has some trouble sustaining itself bc it is four and a half hours long but does deliver on the cat and mouse aspects. this letterboxed review has interesting things to say about the political climate of 1922 germany and how lang subverts the formula of the pulp serial.

really the film opens with mabuse yelling at his cocaine-addicted assistant, but the film properly gets going with mabuse's henchmen stealing a trade agreement (nothing really carbon dates a movie more than a missing trade agreement. vanishingly few post-early-30s movies have missing trade agreements as plot points) and then he crashes the stock market. for fun and profit.

however. i think every time you see an evil man who is a banker or stockbroker or generally uses money as power you have to interrogate whether it's antisemitic. the answer here is "maybe" but i'm not sure if intent matters when contemporary nazi critics were eager to hold mabuse up as "this is the typical jewish criminal". (sorry about the link directly to wikipedia, it's been touch finding online sources for this section). mabuse is not specifically jewish, but there are certainly elements of stereotype. i am still not good at being presented with "this movie has a shadowy behind the scenes figure manipulating the government and all the money ever" and going "hey wait a minute".

after that tremendous glaring caveat, for which i read more contemporary reviews and reviews in general than i ever read for movies in these posts, is it good? eh. a contemporary VARIETY review remarked (and i largely agree)

The direction of Fritz Lang has moments – but Lang somewhat negates his good technical effects by twenty forty-word captions of a ludicrous unconciseness.

the night scenes are particularly well done, and imo are better than many modern night scenes--other contemporary reviews remarked

In this film the techniques of the film camera (Carl Hoffmann’s brilliant photography) are brought to perfection. The problem of how to film lit-up streets at night has been solved for the first time. It is unbelievably impressive to see the glaring lights of speeding cars flash through the night or the rapid passing of an elevated train of the initially blurred, then gradually focussed glimpse through a pair of opera glasses on to the variety stage, the nuances of light and shade—these things alone prove the value of film documentary.

look at this shit! filmed from within the cars! in 1922!!!

this film asks you to believe hypnotism is real and really effective, so i don't think it's that big of a leap when it asks you to believe in ghosts. i don't understand that quibble from contemporary viewers. there are several on screen suicides with like. specific methods. which is not currently regarded as good filmmaking practice. im curious to know what contemporary audiences thought but couldn't immediately turn anything up, and wading through masters’ theses on cinematic suicide is a little beyond my current mental health.

if i were a more content-minded woman this would turn into a clickbait video essay about the antisemitic origins of every supervillan. however i am unqualified and untalented at video editing and i'm sure there are forty theses on this already. this movie is a hard sell to anyone jewish or employed. it is also a stunning example of cutting-edge film technology and part of the genesis of the modern supervillan. Fritz Lang films tend to fall in the category of “movies i am happy to see once and feel no need to revisit”.

-

playing

playing what is effectively the same game three times back to back (breath of the wild, tears of the kingdom, genshin impact) has sort of burned me out on open world games with a focus on battle skill progression and stumbling across little puzzles in the overworld. i have to get itch.io up and running on this pc and find the most linear jankiest possible one-sitting indie thing. or several of them. i might try the solo ttrpg Gentleman Bandit i seem to have acquired in one of the giant charity bundles

brief breath of the wild update bc i don't want to pull screenshots off my switch: i have gotten to the boss fight for the gerudo and goron regions, have not completed them bc my focus in this game is NOT hearts, and am in the middle of the zora temple. despite the quality of life improvements and new regions in totk i think i prefer botw: progression is a bit easier, there are fewer mmo-style hub quests and repeatable quests. things like the stable photos are cute but very repetitive, so are the sign bracing puzzles, and the sky crystal quests for sky shrines feel VERY samey. also dislike how the CLEAR OUT: [REGION] quests with the monster suppression squads reset at the blood moon.

anyway! to genshin! there was an exceptionally fun little event with a surprisingly involved management sim tacked onto the game??? you make and sell potions fulfilling different requirements, and can eventually stock travelling merchants all over the continent. the actual act of making the potions was this block-filling 1010! style thing (screenshot from polygon)

the new region, a port town and tea-growing area called Chenyu Vale, is maybe the prettiest one in the game so far? it's the one that feels the most picturesque and Designed, like this is one huge mansion garden studded with follies. they also added background chatter and noise in the cities and towns, which really startled me and makes them feels much more lived in! this is a fun trick to avoid putting in a thousand NPCs and making everyone's framerate crash. the less stuff in your game, the less shit can go wrong.

also pulled for and got chiyori, a geo-aligned seamstress (and sometime spy???) swordswoman who has what i can only call domme voice

-

making

ok now we'll talk about boxes. i was rearranging my kitchen, as unemployed women are known to do, and noticed this recipe box i picked up back in mass was disgusting. the finish is starting to fail but it was genuinely grody and last summer i packed my kitchen in a blind panic inside an hour and did not have time to address it. i have never seen a recipe box at an estate sale before or since and it made me desperately sad.

it was full of a lot of stuff.

i went at it with a somewhat inadvisable combination of things: wood soap didn't budge it, so i dampened a paper towel in vinegar and wiped it down in the vain hope it would do something. the thing that worked, and would be inadvisable for anything veneered or less densely textured, was baking soda paste and the scrubby side of a sponge. it still smells Very musty even after 48h of loose baking soda inside with several changes, but that might be partly the recipe cards' fault. i would like to refinish this at some point but i don't have polyurethane on hand and the fun little project budget is empty until further notice/i get a job.

the hinge did rust a bit despite my best efforts but that has since been lightly steel wooled and oiled. a well loved object! it's possible the lady who died just fucking sucked and that's why literally her entire estate including many other things families usually keep was on sale, but i would like to think perhaps she simply had no other family? a well loved/used object even if all the recipes are for semi-horrifying fifties new england recipes.

the other box, pre-acids but post-washing: this topp trading card box with seven episode one packets of cards was intact with the original seal. i have verified it was not worth much more than the $5 i paid for it with the trading card obsessed man in my best friend's husband's friendgroup. i bought this three months ago but the man was unavailable to open it until uhhh last week. some sort of liquid got inside it at some point and it was super corroded. i was going to store embroidery floss in here but even with all my powers (barkeepers friend. brasso.) i cannot completely remove the corrosion. it's not corroded Through but it looks bad and feels rough. so it goes. it'll probably hold the tiedown straps in my car bc that plastic bucket is rapidly failing

[tia-amorosa]

Episode 24: Bella's Return

The next morning, 6:38 am. Pascal was the first one to go to bed, so he was also the first one to be reasonably awake the next morning. His first trip was routinely to the computer.and suddenly he was fully awake. “oh my god, this is unbelievable… Why didn't he wake me up?”. He looked at all the results of the localization. “It looks like she's settled down there…that's extremely rare for a ghost…. Wow.”

A few minutes later, Cassandra came out of her room. “Good morning, Pascal“/”oh, good morning… I have very good news, your mother has finally turned up“/”is that true? And… Now we can go and get her?“/”mhm… Let's go to the lab later then. I don't think we'll lose her that quickly now"/ ‘and where is she exactly?’/ ”In one of the time planes. We'll practically bring her back from the future to the present"/ ”How… did she end up in the future?”….

“I have no idea, I guess we'll have to ask them. maybe Lunar Lakes is several centuries after of us. When she died, her soul got stuck in that time. We'll find out how it all happened. First we'll get her home.” Cassandra was so full of anticipation that she gave him a big hug. “Thank you so much, Pascal“/”hey, it's okay. Did you sleep well?” / “hm, mhm, short but good”… She thought about what had happened on the upper platform…when she and Lazlo had been particularly close. But she also kept the whole thing to herself for the time being.

With a large dose of optimism and good humor, Cassandra went to little Tycho, “Hello, good morning, little man. Wow, now I'm really excited, I'm going to see my mom again soon"/,,oh, that's nice. I don't have a mom, Pascal is both…"/,,Yeah, I know…. Isn't that weird for you?“/”no, it's normal for me“/”hn, you're a great kiddo”.

9:37 am. Friedbert has changed his clothes and is on his way out. “Well, where are your formal, serious clothes?"/ ”hey, that's still serious enough, isn't it? I don't always want to look like I'm a professor” / ‘hehe, And your outfit probably has something to do with Erin, right??’/ ”Maybe. I want to go to her now. You can manage without me, can't you?”. Pascal raised an eyebrow and looked at him in an artificially serious manner “I must be a bit angry because you didn't wake me up and kept this incredible information from me. But sure, we'll be fine, so go on”

-----------------------------------------------------------

While Friedbert enjoyed his newfound love, Pascal, Cassandra and Lazlo went to the lab with Tycho. Pascal immediately sat down at the main computer to make sure once again that the localization was not a figment of his imagination. Then he set about connecting the transporter to the place where Bella was staying.

“That really is a challenge…I've only done this experiment with smaller spirits that weren't that far away. But never with a soul that was outside the present.”, ”But if it comes from the future… Do you think it will still find its way around here? I mean… That's a difference of a few hundred years"/ ‘I think she will.’ ‘At the latest, when she sees you, everything will be okay again’/ ‘I hope so much’.

It took about 3 minutes for Pascal to get everything ready. “O.k., I've got Her"/ ‘Oh my God, my hands are sweating so much with excitement’/ ”hehe, I feel the same way, Cassy. Don't worry, your mom will be here soon. . Would you please activate the transporter, Lazlo?“/”,0.k.”. The transporter still had to be activated manually, but Pascal wanted to come up with a solution for that later.

Lazlo went into the room where the transporter was and activated the device. Just like last time, an extremely strong force field built up. “Looks good. And you've fixed everything?“/”Yes, there shouldn't be any more problems.“/”And how long will that take?” Cassandra wanted to know. “It might take a minute or two longer than with the smaller specimens we've fetched so far. You can come out again, brother.”

Cassandra was terribly nervous, which Lazlo couldn't help but notice. So he went to her and gave her a hug. Hey, don't worry, Pascal can handle it, and if there are any technical problems, I'll be there"/ ‘that's really reassuring,’. The hug did her good… and she held on to him for a few moments longer. “So, I'll start now…” said Pascal as he typed in the correct settings. “yeah, o.k.”

Pascal located Bella in the distant plain. Then he set everything in motion for the transport. You have to imagine it like a beam of light shooting through space and time at an incredible speed. The whole thing worked like a magnet that grabbed something far away and pulled it towards itself. Everything happened within one or two minutes. Nevertheless, it seemed like half an eternity to Cassandra….

And just as it had been calculated, it didn't take long… A loud buzzing and creaking flashes rang through the room behind the glass front. And just a few seconds later, a ghost materialized in the transporter's force field, “Oh my God, Pascal, you made it. “Yes, it looks like that…"/ ‘Oh please, can I go to her?’/ ”Wait a moment, I think she needs to recover from the journey. What took only seconds or minutes for us must have been much longer for her”. Cassandra looked at the figure still stuck in the force field and she could clearly recognize her mother in it. That's why she accepted the patience she still had to muster.

We'll see in the next part whether Bella has really coped with the long journey through time and space.

@greenplumbboblover , @solorisims , @plumbobgothica

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Hey, pumpkins...

It has been a long time since I've been active here. But I still felt like I should say a little goodbye.

In 2018, after I completed undergrad, my burnt out and exhausted ass got back on tumblr and started writing fic. I'd never written and rarely read fan fiction but I had some time and figured why the hell not. Funny how small choices can make such big impacts on your life.

Through this platform, I made incredible friends, read moving works of art, and proved to myself I was capable of writing some damn good stories. I am so grateful for this little corner of the internet.

But it feels like it's officially time to close up shop here.

Partly because I'm not around but also because I'm trying to reduce the number of places where my writing can be found online as I move into my publishing era. I feel slightly better about my work being on ao3 vs. tumblr so you'll still be able to find what I've done over there (The_Word_Witch).

I'll be closing shop sometime in July. If you want to save anything feel free to do so.

I won't be sharing any personal details here but if you'd like to know where to find my new chapter, send me a DM.

All my love, pumpkins! Thanks for everything!

[clarabosswald]

when i was a kid and just got access to the internet, i had the early 00s mentality on internet anonymity ingrained well in my mind, even when it started to fade away in the general public. i got a facebook account way after my classmates did, for instance

i also lied about my age online for a long time, and was good about it too, as i generally had the vocabulary and maturity to go with it. as a 12 year old i passed as a 16 year old with ease

as my english got better and i started being more active on international websites, online norms have also started changing. people have started using their real info more and more (outside of obvious spaces like facebook). and there was one thing i was sure of - that i'd never reveal i was from israel.

it wasn't because of a specific event. nobody ever told me not to do it, either. it was just... a basic and shapeless fear. that if people online knew i'm israeli, i'd get dogpiled. i'd get harassed and chased off platforms. so as a kid with and already fucked up social life, it was an easy decision. and my english at that point was good enough to support it.

so years passed. internet anonymity kept on going out of style. it really became a norm for people to share where they're from. and, well, early 10s fandom/internet culture was very open and whimsical. reaction gifs were all the rage. and i was a teen, young and optimistic. so i just went "fuck it" and put it out there. yeah, i'm from israel. and it went well.

like, really well. nobody treated me any different. i got some "oh, cool" responses. i got some "me too!" responses. some people got curious, asked a couple of generic questions. and that was it. my childhood fears turned out to be just that - childish.

and years passed, many years. that fear became a distant memory.

until, of course, october 7th, 2023. or rather what followed it.

so lately i've been thinking about that fear a lot. the immense irony in the situation, of course. but also a lot of regret. people regret losing their childhood innocence... and maybe i'm regretting losing my childhood carefulness. i exposed real parts of myself to the world because i thought the possibility of getting hurt would be worth it. maybe it wasn't.

but more than anything, it feels like losing part of your personhood. when the option of becoming a faceless, location-less person becomes the safer option, the saner option. better fade into the background than be perceived as who you are. feels kind of like going back into a closet.

maybe in 15 more years it'll change again.

[skysometric]

Official Deprecation Notice: Mastodon Accounts

This is primarily a courtesy notice for the two (2) people who still regularly follow me on Mastodon instead of elsewhere, but I also wanted to explain my thought process here...

I've been keeping up a Mastodon account as a mirror for Twitter et al for a good six or seven years now. Initially I championed the platform as much as I could, as an open and resilient alternative to Twitter, one that would survive even if it stops being regularly maintained.

But lately I've realized... I just don't get any joy out of being there anymore. I've talked at length about my hangups with Mastodon and the fediverse at large, but ultimately it has nothing to do with that – I just don't click with the people or the culture there, and perhaps I never did to begin with.

Bluesky has lately been my platform of choice as a Twitter replacement, not just because of the community there but also because it does everything I liked about Mastodon, except better. It's decentralized without being confusing, you can move servers without losing your history... and unlike Mastodon or even Twitter, the things I post actually get seen!

All the other features that Bluesky didn't replicate, that make Mastodon what it is – content warnings, local timeline, server blocks – are things that never appealed to me to begin with, and feel like baggage that I am more than happy to shed.

So effective immediately, I will no longer be using Mastodon, because it does not bring me joy. My need for an alternative Twitter presence is fully met by Bluesky.

Unlike when I deprecated my Twitter accounts, I will not be maintaining an archive of my Mastodon accounts. I'm not gonna delete them or anything, but if those servers go down, that's it! They're gone. My use case for Mastodon was to maintain a separate archive of my history, and I no longer need it for that purpose.

(Although, after three or four server migrations – losing all my post history along the way – it was pretty bad at being an archive to begin with...!)

At one point in the last few years I was actively maintaining FIVE separate accounts: Twitter, Tumblr, Bluesky, Mastodon, and Cohost. I did this so that I could keep up with all of my friends as they began to scatter from the antics of Twitter's new owner, and it was too much to keep up with. Now, finally, I am back to a much healthier balance – one shortform social media (Bluesky) and one longform social media (Tumblr). If you would like to keep following me, one of those is your best bet.

Thank you for keeping up with me for all these years, no matter where we ended up or when we met along the way 🙇‍♀️

[mysterywheeze]

what a weekend, huh

I've refrained from using this blog to share my thoughts on the [gestures vaguely] situation for- well, for a few reasons. For one, I haven't been directly involved in the fandom for a while for personal reasons (I will reiterate that I am Mostly Fine). For two, until today we didn't have an official update on the matter. And for three, there's been A LOT of vitriol within the fanbase, so saying anything felt like stepping into a minefield.

Point three still stands. But what the hell? I've thrown my thoughts into worse rings.

My opinions on the whole fiasco can be summed up in four points.

ONE: Their initial plan was bad, and the way they announced it was even worse.

I don't think I have to explain why cutting off a large number of low-income and international fans is a shitty thing to do. That the initial treatment of Patreon fans was poor is, I think, similarly self-evident. And not just because we weren't initially given free access to the streaming platform; the abrupt cancellation of WW+ and early access screwed a lot of annual-membership patrons over.

We now have confirmation that Watcher needed a new revenue stream to stay operational, and that the team viewed this change as essentially a last resort to avoid layoffs or worse. We did not get this information in the "Goodbye YouTube" video. The Watcher team could have been upfront from the beginning, but they decided not to be. Instead they hyped up the announcement, even had a countdown, leading us to think that this was a sign of something good, when in reality it was a sign of something dire.

I hope we can all agree that more initial transparency would have significantly improved the audience reaction to the announcement.

TWO: The update/apology video was a good one.

They addressed why they made their decision, admitted to their fuck-up, and changed their plan. That's Owning Up To Your Mistakes 101. What we got was a compromise; they aren't scrapping the streaming service altogether, but they aren't abandoning fans who can't afford it altogether, either. And of course, they've told us that the streaming service is necessary for the survival of the company. Better late than never.

There's still a lot that they need to do before they can fully gain my trust. And I say gain, not regain, because this isn't the first time they've had a business fumble (NOTE: this is not about the HWYD incident). From Patreon rewards coming months late to factual errors in their educational shows, to what I strongly suspect is mismanagement of funds leading to their current financial troubles, they've always had flaws that ought to be addressed.

But it's a start. A good start at that.

THREE: Some fans reacted to the announcement (and to a lesser extent, to the update) in deeply inappropriate ways.

Look, I don't think you have to ~deeply adore~ Steven Lim to be a Watcher fan. I'll admit that, as a diehard Unsolved fan since 2017 who rarely watched Worth It before 2020, Steven's shows appealed to me less than Ryan and Shane's content did. The average viewcounts of Steven's shows compared to Ryan-n-Shane's shows indicates that my preferences are pretty common.

That being said, as someone who isn't particularly enthused about Steven content, I can appreciate the things he's done for Watcher and as a human being. He's always been the guy pushing hardest for Asian-American representation, as Grocery Run, Hidden Narratives, and especially his response to the 2021 tragedy in Atlanta, made very clear.

From years ago to just last week, he's said some poorly-worded and even insensitive things. He's a human. We're prone to doing that.

If you think that it's okay to insult him on a personal level over this weekend's fiasco, to drag up an old mistake he already publicly apologized for, or to make unfounded accusations about his moral character, you are solely mistaken and have some serious maturing to do. If you actually partook in any of those activities, I sincerely hope that you regret your actions and avoid repeating them. And if you're one of those people STILL trying to pin all the blame on Steven, or even calling for his resignation(?!?)... I don't know what to tell you. I really hope you become a kinder person soon.

This also goes for people who started getting personal with the other members of Team Watcher, or with their friends or loved ones outside the company. So what if Sara had an imperfect take? She's not responsible for Watcher's bad decision, and we shouldn't be dragging her into the discourse just because she's married to a guy who did a fuck-up.

And yeah, Shane did a fuck-up. It ain't cute to act like he's an innocent anti-capitalist baby being dragged into this mess by Steven. Same goes for people saying Ryan didn't play a part in this, but over the past few days I've seen way more support for Shane among conspiratorial fans than for Ryan. I'm not going to act like racial bias is the only factor at play here, clearly it's more complex than that, but making up conspiracies to protect your white fave while scapegoating the outspoken-against-racism Asian guy... it's not a good look. You have to realize that and evaluate your biases.

FOUR: The backlash to the backlash has become excessive and unhelpful.

I get it. When people are being dicks online, it's natural to speak out against it. And boy howdy, were some people being dicks this weekend. Emphasis on the some.

Yes, there's been a lot of mean-spirited, unconstructive hate sent Watcher's way over the past few days. There's also been an incredibly large volume of constructive criticism from all corners of the fandom. Some of it's been discussed between fans, some of it's been shared directly with Team Watcher. It doesn't stick in your mind as strongly as blatant hate does, but I can assure you, it's there.

And in the effort to defend Watcher against that hate, a lot of you have made it really hard for good-faith criticism to be heard.

Seriously, every time I see someone on the Wiscord politely criticize one of Watcher's decisions, they're immediately shut down by a fellow fan. Same thing happened to me in an unofficial fan server earlier today. My good-faith critique wasn't as important as the fact that some asshole could hypothetically make a similar argument in bad faith. Any attempt at a calm, reasoned discussion of Watcher's issues as a company gets drowned out with blind positivity.

Let me make my stance crystal clear: people are allowed to be upset about things that they aren't being forced at gunpoint to pay for. That's like, the the basis of media criticism. "You don't HAVE to pay for it so you shouldn't complain about it" is not an argument that should be taken seriously here on Al Gore's internet.

There's also been a lot of disingenuous use of the "don't you believe artists should get paid?" argument, because yes I do, and yes they have been getting paid. By thousands of people at once - far more supporters than most working artists receive in a lifetime. I personally have been supporting them financially since January of 2020, literally since day one. Watcher's situation evidently isn't ideal, but as far as independent creators go they're pretty darn privileged to have the following they have.

And if you think that Team Watcher has actually totally been doing the right thing all along, then you're wrong. The guys at Watcher themselves admitted that. If they really are the bastions of honesty you're convinced they are, you'll accept that. Above all, the changes they announced today are not proof that "the bullies won". If the bullies won, there would be no streaming service. What happened was a compromise, and the assholes in this fandom didn't want a compromise.

Look, I know you guys. I remember the old days, when we weren't afraid to provide feedback to Watcher when they fucked up, and over much smaller fumbles than this recent one. I know we've all put a lot of money and time into this company and the people behind it. The sunk-cost fallacy is a very powerful thing. But please don't let your hatred for bullies and love for the boys completely blind you to valid criticism. You can't entirely shield them from growing pains if what you want for them is real growth.

FIVE: This isn't a real point in the list I just had to separate my closing thoughts from the rest of the essay I accidentally wrote. Whoops.

The other day, I saw somebody (can't recall their handle, sorry) describe some fan reactions to Friday's announcement as "post-divorce honesty". It's far from the only comparison to a breakup I've seen. That phrase has been ringing in my head for a while now. Because this situation has made a lot of people reevaluate what they like about Watcher, why they became a fan in the first place, and if it's worth sticking around.

Watcher made a mistake. One that they could walk back but can't undo. Their reputation is never going to be the same as it was before. Likewise, a lot of fans said things that can't be taken back, and now that's tied to their reputation in our community. I can't blame anyone for feeling uneasy right now.

Hm. When I started writing this, I had an actual ending in mind. I don't know where that went.

Maybe that's the note I end this massive ramble on? Watcher's future is uncertain, the community's future is uncertain, so I'm uncertain about the last part of this post...? Agh. There's a reason why I'm more of a fiction writer than an essayist. It's getting late, I've got stuff to do tomorrow, and my browser's beginning to slow down from the sheer weight of my draft being open for so long.

Just... try to take it easy on each other, okay? It's been a hell of a week, and we haven't even finished Monday yet.

[obxfiles]

The hate is way too much, and I’m sure Rudy is anxious as hell. Remember last year everyone was worried about his mental health and now it’s “let’s just bully and harass this actor because his exGF made a TikTok and we’ve jumped to conclusions.”

End of the day, he’s dating someone who’s using the attention to share pro-Palestine content.

Love or hate her Elaine is doing more to help people right now and I applaud her for that. If it was me I’d be telling all the fans to F off lol.

putting my response below the cut because it's quite long and gets a little on tangent but i really appreciate you pointing this out! it's so important to keep in mind!! i hope i worded this well...sometimes my word choice doesn't always come out the best

from what i've heard, elaine has always shared links for important issues on her social media; she uses her platform for the things she cares for and that's awesome of her. i totally agree, she's done a lot of good and even some of her instagram captions that may not seem like much, have made me self reflect on some of my own views.

i think it absolutely sucks when people hold someone's past against them and do not allow for any growth or change. none of us are the people we were in our teens. it's wild to think she's still the person she was at like fifteen. most of us at that time were just spoon-fed what our parents believed, or our peers. especially in the time period we were teens in. i think people forget what high school looked like for her vs. what high school is like for them now. there wasn't all this social media. you were pretty much in a bubble. and, unless you actively got out of that bubble, back in the day, you were just kind of locked in to what your family and friends were saying.

she's about my age and while i knew of course what was wrong and right, there'd be jokes friends would make that i'd laugh at without really thinking about on a deeper level. it took getting out of my small bubble to really see that hmm some of that stuff just wasn't and isn't okay

i think there's a lot of young people on social media that just simply do not allow for any kind of grace or change or progress. you are who you were and the mistakes that you made as a teen no matter how much time has passed and how much growth has happened. and i just can't agree with that. like of course you don't have to like her or anything, no one has to like anyone, but there's a certain level of grace and empathy i just can't wrap my head around withholding from a person. and of course if someone is a POC and they have an issue with her it's an important to hear that out and understand where they're coming from. a lot of what i've seen though, that has not been the case. a lot of the hate on twitter stems from people just trying to stir up drama and it's sad.

sorry for going off on a bit of a tangent there!

and yes i agree!!!!! no one is seeming to take mental health into consideration. i've seen threats, and even "spells" wishing ill upon both him and her on twitter and it's wild. people were even laughing about madison's car being wrecked. it's sick and disgusting. the lack of empathy is bizarre and frightening to me.

i'll never understand it, those levels of cruelty. it's inhumane, plain and simple.