#I've missed him so much in photoshoots like...

[joshduhamels]

JOSH DUHAMEL. by David Higgs | Broadcast Magazine (2023)

[soelstress]

Silent In the Library

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Summary: While on a mission with Bucky, both of you get creative to avoid detection.

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI , nsfw , explicit sex/smut, fingering , p in v sex , unprotected sex , sex in a library , some language

A/N 1 - This is my second submission for @mercurial-chuckles Smutty September Fest. Thank you for doing this challenge, it's been fun playing around with the prompts.

A/N 2 - Prompts - Asked a friend to pick up to five prompts for me... of course I was given five so two stories it is 🙈 7) finding a somewhat private area at a fancy party to fuck (coat closet, empty office, secluded corner on the big balcony, hedge maze if we wanna get dramatic, etc) 14) Library sex for those dark academia vibes

A/N 3 - Do not Steal, Copy or Plagiarize any part of my work - I think the photo was from the 'Fresh' Flaunt photoshoot but I saved it from Google

A/N 4 - Please let me know if I've missed a warning, knowing me it's more than likely. Hope you all enjoy ☺️

Your limited sight in the dark night only heightened your other senses. Branches of the hedge dug into the skin of your back, scraping the exposed flesh. Warm pants tickled your ear. The smell of fresh greenery swirled with cologne, but the hand around your throat prevented you from inhaling. Your heart pounded and breaths became shorter, you couldn’t take much more.

“Come with me”.

You froze when he suddenly crumpled to the ground without a noise. Not daring to even breathe, your eyes darted around. A shift in the shadows caught your attention, moonlight softly reflecting off black and gold Vibranium to reveal the presence of your saviour. You took a deep breath in relief, the sudden rush of air triggering a coughing fit. “What took you so long?” 

A scoff reached you long before the outline of your mission partner, barely visible in his dark attire. “Despite what Sam believes, I do not have ‘cyborg x-ray vision’. Took me awhile to dodge security AND find you. In a maze. That’s out of bounds. Couldn’t have made it any easier for me, could you?” He stopped near you, pausing as your coughing fit didn’t seem to be easing. “You ok?”

You raised your arms in an attempt to ease your spluttering. After a few moments, it slowed. “Unfortunately for you, yes”. You took a few slow breaths before turning to him. “Sorry for any extra paperwork, I’m sure you’d prefer that to having to deal with me”.

“I can handle paperwork. What I can’t handle is Sam complaining if something happens to you. I wanted to throw him off the plane because he grilled me for a bruise that you got. After our last mission. Tripping over thin air”. Though you couldn’t see his face, you could feel the weight of his trademark scowl. Hopefully he couldn’t see the blush on your cheeks from his words which unfortunately were true. “So can we please try to keep you in one piece to complete the mission and the journey home?”

Right. The mission. The one requiring you to break into the mansion of a former Hydra informant to retrieve a drive that contained information on old Hydra bases and activities. The one that Sam swore would be best to infiltrate on the night of a big party to avoid rousing suspicion. The one he insisted on pairing you and Bucky together. James Bucky Barnes - tonight’s savour, the reason you had previously tripped over thin air, and ultimately your unrequited crush. Part of you wanted to kill Sam who teased you mercilessly for your crush but the other part relished the chance to work closely with the sinfully sexy Super Soldier.

The pair of you had decided to attend the party separately, providing two opportunities to grab the drive, but also separate alibis if required. On arrival, you had started by trying to sneak upstairs to the library. But one lone security guard had thwarted your effort and then proceeded to follow you. In a desperate attempt you tried to escape him in the maze but he had cornered you. He had toyed with you, threatening to take you to the host when Bucky had stepped in. 

A soft grunt interrupted your musings. Bucky had picked up the security guard and removed his phone. Walking a few strides to where two hedges met to form a corner, Bucky carefully launched the guard to land on top of the eight foot hedges so he was out of sight from anyone walking by. You couldn’t help chuckling at the sight. Together you both started to follow the path of the maze in a companionable silence. A few turns had been made and in the distance you could see pinpricks of light from the mansion. Bucky’s warm hand grabbed your wrist. “Someone’s coming” he murmured. You knew he’d be thinking about how to fight his way out as quietly as possible. But with one guard down already, you couldn’t risk attracting further attention.  And only one of you had Super Soldier speed. An idea burst into your mind as you glanced around, seeing a small path in the hedge that led to a dead end after a few paces. 

 You turned and yanked him toward you. “What -“ his question was cut off when you pulled him into a fierce kiss. Bucky froze. You were certain he’d shorted circuited and that you would end up having to fight your way through. Pulling away, you made to turn and face the approaching threat but Bucky guided you backwards towards the small path. His left arm cushioned your back from the hedge, hand cupping the back of your head. His nose and lips drifted along your neck and collarbone, growling when your hands gripped the lapels of his jacket in an effort to pull him closer. Lost in a fog of desire, you felt your body trying to meld to his. His right hand gripped your waist, your leg starting to lift up to his waist in response when he froze again. “They’re gone”. Reality washed over you like a cold tidal wave, the heat of embarrassment soon fighting with the chill you’d felt a moment ago. Though you craved so badly to stay pressed to him, you knew that he didn’t feel the same as you. Besides which and most importantly, you had a job to do. Unclenching your fingers from his jacket, you tried to lower your leg discreetly and checked your appearance as a cover. Bucky unwound his arms from around you but didn’t step back. “What was that?”

Face burning, you sidestepped him with a shrug. “All your training and you don’t know how hard it is to run in heels, let alone fight”. As you walked, you could feel heat in your belly and slick pooling in your panties. Unbelievable. You’d acted like a horny teenager - sharing one kiss and then pressing against him as he held you. How the hell had you lost control like that? There were a few moments of your footsteps before you heard Bucky’s tread catch up. Tension was thick as you silently headed towards the mansion. Leaving the maze, you saw people making their way indoors. 

You avoided looking at Bucky. “I’ll mingle”.

“I’ll hit the bar”. 

Both of you separated at the bottom of the stairs, joining the crowds to drift inside. You began to work your way around the room, spending a few minutes in various conversations and contributing noises of agreement or amusement. It would be enough for the fellow guests to notice you in the moment but difficult to remember later while also giving you a good cover in case security was watching. After thirty minutes, you walked down the hallway that led to the ladies room on the next floor but also the main stairs that led to the library on the top floor. 

“Sam’s gonna kill me, your back looks like you got in a fight with an alley cat”. The rough timbre rumbled in your ear. 

Shrugging, you cautiously began to climb the stairs. “Some guys these days can’t manhandle a woman properly. It’s not the first time I’ve been roughed up”. Bucky fell silent as you moved towards the landing of the next floor. You hadn’t noticed the scratches on your back, Bucky must have effectively shielded your back when he pushed you into the hedge. You bit your lip to hold in a soft moan at the thought. From the way the way he’d handled you and the security guard in the maze, you knew that his version of roughing up would be very different.

“Hold up, doll. Security’s sweeping the stairs. Just lean over and wave like you’ve seen someone”. Doing as instructed, you leaned against the railing. Somehow your gaze landed on Bucky at the bar. A choked gasp escaped your mouth at the first clear sight of him. You knew he wore black from his camouflage trick in the maze. But this was something else. Dressed in a form fitting black suit with tousled hair and stubble dusting his cheeks, he had your heart and mind racing. “See something you like, toots?” Caught in a blue gaze, you blinked before waving. Bucky raised a crystal glass of amber liquid, the black jacket looking snug against his beefy arms and broad chest. 

Taking that as a signal to start moving again, you quietly hurried back along the corridor. “Almost didn’t recognise you without that scowl Barnes. You actually look decent”. 

A soft chuckle sounded through the comm, sounds of movement following. You figured Bucky had left the bar. “Well you clean up nicely too. Almost mistook you for a dame in that dress” he teased. As you crept up the final stairway, a mirror was placed opposite the steps and you took a moment to admire the dress you wore. A black velvet maxi dress that was strapless and had a slit up the left side hugged your body. Blushing slightly, you couldn’t help feeling pleased that he had noticed. Reaching the top of the stairs, you moved towards the correct door. 

You glanced behind you before carefully opening the door to the library, slipping inside before you closed it and looked around. Two walls were lined with books, every floor to ceiling shelf filled carefully and pristinely kept. The door you had just walked through was also framed with shelves of books. A giant rustic stone fireplace dominated the fourth wall to your left, a roaring fire illuminating an abstract painting mounted above it. Chesterfield seats were scattered through out the room. A pleasant smell of old books and leather soothed your nerves and you found yourself relaxing. Approaching the fireplace to examine the painting closely, you were suddenly yanked backwards into the left corner of the room near the door. As you wriggled, you managed to elbow your assailant before being restrained. “Calm down toots! It’s me” Bucky grunted in your ear before letting you go. 

“I thought men from the forties were gentlemen?” Grumbling, you turned and straightened your dress before looking at him to see him rubbing where you’d jabbed him. “Gotta say Barnes, grabbing a lady like that tarnishes your reputation as a charmer”. 

Bucky smirked, his face half hidden in darkness. “Depends on your definition of lady, doll. Besides you’re the one who said about being poorly handled in the maze”. You flushed, earlier thoughts of him handling you resurfacing. “Anyway, come look at this”. He pointed towards the left side of the fireplace. On closer inspection you noticed that the fireplace was not built flush into the wall but instead the stone sides jutted a few feet into the room. Before you could ask if the old man needed his eyes checked, he gently took your elbow and led to you the right side of the fireplace. A little corner nook was formed where the fireplace wall met the bookshelf of the adjoining wall. Near the corner a bookshelf slightly wider than Bucky was built in. “There’s an electronic book safe a few shelves up”.

Glancing around, you saw a rolling ladder on a track. You made to move when Bucky beat you to wheeling it as close as possible, but there was a small gap between the shelf and the ladder. Frowning, you glanced at Bucky who nodded and moved to hold the ladder on one side. As you climbed carefully up the rungs, you heard him move to hold both sides to stop the ladder from rolling. Carefully opening the safe cover, you saw the electronic key pad with the spaces for a five digit number flashing. Looking at the buttons, you could see five buttons had been pressed more frequently than others. As the possibilities for the code ran through your head and you eliminated any as a birthday or memorable date, you thought about how the owner of this mansion had become involved, anything you could remember about his background - of course. You scoffed softly and entered the code. 4-9-3-7-2. The lock clicking open echoed in the quiet room. Shaking your head, you reached into the safe and pulled out a small drive the size of a quarter before sealing the safe and replacing the book cover. You began to descend the ladder, carefully feeling for each step before moving. 

Reaching the last rung, you felt Bucky behind you. Inhaling deeply you slowly turned, using the rungs for support until you found yourself eye to eye with him. Without a word he took the drive from you and slipped it in his breast pocket. His flesh hand cupped your cheek. Blazing blue eyes searched your soul before his lips brushed over yours. Warmth rushed through every fibre of your body. As he pulled back slightly, you ached with want, with need. Lifting your right hand from the rung you caught his stubbled chin and pressed a kissed to the dimple before ghosting a kiss at each corner of his mouth. With a sharp inhale Bucky kissed you softly, almost reverently. He deliberately took his time, a sharp contrast to the fierce kiss in the maze. This was so much better than you had ever imagined, his lips firm and soft though roughened by the stubble peppering his face. You gasped when his tongue traced the seam of your lips, seeking access to your mouth. Once granted his tongue carefully tasted and teased, licking along your teeth and sending shivers down your spine. His tongue brushed yours and you could taste the whiskey he had been nursing earlier. Your thighs pressed together at his luscious licks, imagining that wicked tongue somewhere else. The hand holding his chin moved to drift through his hair while the other arm wrapped around his thick frame. Chests pressed together your leg slowly slid up and wrapped around his waist, grinding against him as you captured and sensually suckled his tongue. With a groan Bucky lifted you off the ladder and held you close. Your other leg wrapped around him as you continue to rub against him. 

Bucky’s lips moved to leave  a wet trail on your face, neck and chest. His right hand moved down your dress and snuck in along the slit. Cerulean eyes widened when he found how wet you were for him.

“The maze” you whisper, answering his unasked question.  

Nuzzling your neck, his fingers slid under the material and glided through your soaking folds. You bit back a moan when he brushed over your clit. One thick finger pushed  inside you, causing you to arch into him. “Fuck… so tight, baby”. As he moaned in your ear, another finger entered you. His thumb brushed your clit as his fingers curled upward. “Squeezing me so tight… God you feel so good”. The only sound that you could hear was your panting and the sound of his fingers fucking you. A burning pressure began to build.

“Barnes” you whimpered, humping his hand frantically. 

“That’s it sweet girl, cum for me”. Bucky’s smile widened as you clamped down on his fingers, his mouth swooping down over yours to catch any noise. 

Using his Vibranium arm to lift you higher, Bucky’s flesh hand fumbled to undo the waistband of his trousers. The sound of a zipper opening reached your ears. Searching blindly your fingers grasped his hot velvet flesh and gently squeezed the tip.

“Been hard since I first saw you in this dress earlier today”. Your eyes widened at the understanding Bucky had wanted you before leaving for the mission. “I wanted to break the fingers of that asshole who dared to touch you”. 

Longing flooded you at the dark threat. “Want you so much. Bucky… Please” you whimpered.

As he rubbed the head of his cock through your folds and over your clit his gaze burned into you, marking you. Lowering you slowly onto his cock, both of you groaned as the thick flesh stretched you deliciously. Once his groin met yours, you let out a small whine at being filled so deeply. 

Before he could move the door to the room opened, chatter and light filling the quiet space. Bucky quietly pushed the ladder back toward its original position before pressing you against the fireplace wall, only the length of the fireplace wall and shadows caused by the fire hiding your presence from the newcomers. Bucky’s eyes never left yours but you could tell his attention was elsewhere. Annoyance swept through you at the second interruption of the night chased by desire. Right now, you didn’t care that your mission was to infiltrate the home of a Hydra agent to steal essential intelligence. Right now, all that mattered was that Bucky - the man who you’d wanted for so long -  was here with you, inside you. These people could notice you at any moment, could catch Bucky balls deep inside you… 

At the thought, your core clenched around him which caused Bucky to let out a muffled curse. His dark brow raised in silent query. You’d never felt so exposed, so reckless and you wanted him in it with you. Rocking your hips, you tried to start moving against him. Bucky’s hold on you tightened as he shifted. A whimper escaped you as he nudged your clit with his movements. His flesh hand covered your mouth, both of you straining to hear any hints that you had been detected. But the chatter carried on, ignorant to the raw exhibition only a few feet away. 

Bucky placed a single finger against your lips in warning. You gently licked his finger before nipping the tip and sucking it into your mouth. Jaw dropping, he inhaled slowly before he began to move. Tongue swirling around the digit, your sucking matched the pace of his slow and steady thrusts. As his body temperature began to rise you were caught in a delightful concoction of senses - Bucky’s scent of sandalwood mixed with the smell of the library, drowning in the depths of his loving and lustful gaze, tasting the slight tang of your arousal on his finger and the feel of his body caging you as you clung tightly to Bucky, trying to pull him even closer. Cautiously he positioned you against the shelf, leaving you immobilised and unable to do anything except continue to take his measured movements. He began to roll his hips and pulled back before repeating the motion. As a wave of heat began to build, you could swear you felt his cock harden further. “Cum” he breathed in your ear. The dam broke and the tidal wave of pleasure overwhelmed you. Feeling a cry rise in your throat you kissed Bucky desperately. With a gasp he twitched inside you, filling you as he rolled his hips to prolong the pleasure as long as possible.

Distantly, you heard the door open and close. Only the gentle crackling of the fire and soft panting filled the room now. Bucky lowered you till you stood on slightly wobbly legs and slowly pulled out of you. Removing a handkerchief from his pocket, he carefully wiped between your legs before doing the same to himself. Eyes locked with yours, he tugged your underwear and dress back into place before tucking himself back into his pants, placing the folded handkerchief into his pants pocket. Leaning forward he caught your mouth in a soft tender kiss. “That should’ve been our first kiss” he murmured. 

“So what happens now?” You hated to think that this had only happened because of the mission, that nothing had changed. When his fingers entwined with yours, you were surprised to see him smiling softly.

“Long term? I want to court you baby, for you to be my girl and me to be your guy. But now? We leave, head home and handover the drive”. A twinkle danced in his eye as his smile changed to a smirk. “And then I want to hear you all night. No interruptions. No being quiet.” His brow puckered in confusion when you giggled. “What?”

“Looks like we’ll both be giving Sam something to complain about”.

[landoslvr]

MRS CLARKEY | g. clarke

summary: a scroll through your internet presence as 'mrs clarkey'. [social media AU.]

pairing: fem!reader x george clarke

faceclaim: steph hui

notes: first piece for mrs george out of the wag universe. steph is gonna be the main fc I use for mrs clarkey, hopefully you like it! this is the longest one I've done so far.. definitely want to do a fic for their first meeting and for the useless hotline podcast- maybe even the ski trip!

liked by user, user and 37,923 others

yourinstagram happy halloween 💋💋

view all 281 comments

user you're literally so hot y/n

user I want to be you so bad

user how can I look like that

user jeez u flexible or something baby?

user the dress? the hair? the makeup??? unreal

yourinstagram thank you!! I did it myself xxx

user shes godly

user have fun tonight!!

user she's the only girl I know to have an impromptu photoshoot and then go out drinking

yourinstagram gotta take the outfit for a spin!!!

liked by chrismd10, arthurtv and 58,283 others

georgeclarkeey you should've seen the other guy!

view all 198 comments

user george wth

user its the vomit on the cheerleading outfit for me

chrismd10 looking good mate

wroetoshaw nice eyebrow....... eyebrow singular

georgeclarkeey yes I got that thank you

user AS IF Y/N FOUND HIM ON HER NIGHT OUT

user I KNOW!! I came from her tweets after everyone tagging this guy

chrismd10 you getting referred to as 'this guy' on your own post is so funny to me

georgeclarkeey well, you're huge aren't you?

imallexx loving the new look mate

user waiting for y/n to join the comments 🫣

user me too 😶😶

yourinstagram its great to know what you look like with both of your eyebrows george! a pleasure to have met you, despite the circumstances...

georgeclarkeey my left eyebrow was too intimidated by seeing betty boop in the flesh it ran away!

user my heart 😭

liked by georgeclarkeey, max_balegde and 37,192 others

yourinstagram went on the useless hotline podcast this week to talk about me saving the george clarke! thank you very much for having me boys 🤍

view all 302 comments

user she's just so pretty

user as if model queen y/n saved youtuber george clarke 😭 not over that at all

georgeclarkeey always a pleasure, you're welcome back anytime you feel like scraping me off of the pavement

yourinstagram anytime you need me, I'll be there to call the ambulance

user LOVE that coat

georgeclarkeey also feeling something.. or someone.. is missing from this post?

yourinstagram idk what you want from me here clarke

max_balegde ahhhhhh!!!!!! such a pleasure to meet the woman that singlehandedly saved my co-host from death <3 thanks so much for coming on, martini besties for life now

yourinstagram call me anytime you need multiple olives!!!

max_balegde three olives, extra dry!!

user stop I hope they all stay friends 😭

liked by georgeclarkeey, chrismd10 and 39,219 others

yourinstagram casual 'saved your life/face' dinner post

view all 331 comments

user nahhhhhhhhh because this is a date

user y/n looks so good 😭😭

user lets not ignore George Clarke wearing something other than a t-shirt

chrismd10 impressed you managed to get him in slacks!

georgeclarkeey your mum brought them for me

user THAT DRESS

user I just wanna be you y/n

user George has major cake its not funny

max_balegde literally should be criminal

georgeclarkeey you saved my life I am eternally grateful

yourinstagram 👽👽👽

liked by georgeclarkeey, chrismd10 and 40,938 others

yourinstagram visiting the mountain tops with some new friends x

view all 370 comments

user bitch we know that's george clarkey, fess up

max_balegde the love of my life really tbh, you look sooooo good

yourinstagram max I'll cry

user drop the link for the jackets!!

user that is george clarke's watch missy

user so you just so happen to be on a ski trip at the same time at george and his friends?????????? coincidence? I think NOT

user I know george is using ever fibre of his being not to comment on this right now

liked by yourinstagrm, miniminter and 59,902 others

georgeclarkeey there's 'snow' way it's this cold in the mountains

view all 286 comments

user Y/N TAKE OF THE SKI MASK COWARD

user we literally know it's her

chrismd10 handsome fellas

user literally just tell us you're dating guys

wroetoshaw high altitude my friend

user love these pics of the boys together

arthurtv distinguished skiers and snowboarders

charliehutchens really good ones too

user do you think y/n had to throw her phone out of her hotel room to stop herself from commenting?

user yes, yes I do

liked by georgeclarkeey, wroetoshaw and 37,981 others

yourinstagram out and about ✈️🗺️

view all 320 comments

user should we tell y/n that she posted a picture of George in the 4th slide and then proceeded to cut his head out of the 6th one????

user let her live in peace I guess

user wow no one is immune to stupidity these days 😭

user can't believe they took her so young

georgeclarkeey you're not getting that poster back

yourinstagram if you dont return my harry styles poster I will sue

georgeclarkeey I live with a lawyer, so good luck with that darling

user DARLING???? LITERALLY JUST PUNCH ME IN THE FACE NEXT TIME GEORGE

liked by yourinstagram, stephentries and 61,192 others

georgeclarkeey chris informed us that you all know we're dating so no more discreet photo dumps I guess?

view all 401 comments

user WAR IS OVERRRRRR

user quick everyone act like we didn't see this shit coming

user the way he tried to do her dirty in the last 3 pics but he literally can't

user she's just so pretty

user I wanna be her

max_balegde mrs clarkey!!!!!!

yourinstagram !!!!!

chrismd10 you're so welcome mate

user she's so gorgeous

user kills me

user george x y/n girlies won today

yourinstagram 🤍🤍🤍 love you big stupid idiot 🤍🤍🤍 once I posted the invisalign it was over..

georgeclarkeey guys gotta eat

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurfhill and 43,938 others

yourinstagram casual 'I can finally post my boyfriend' post!!!!

view all 493 comments

user guys I love today

user this makes me so happy

chrismd10 the power of drunken lime bike rides!

yourinstagram thank you lime bikes

user the alien picture kills me

max_balegde can't wait to have you back on the pod as mrs clarkey

yourinstagram a promotion, for me???

user george is so cute, I envy y/n!

arthurtv it's about time tbh

user I've been waiting for this one

georgeclarkeey was worth losing half of an eyebrow I guess

yourinstagram maybe the eyebrows were the friends we made along the way?

[aakaneeee]

ROUND 7 THEORY.

Till is going to lose: and Hyuna won't be there to save him.

this is insanely long, hug yourselves

I. Hyuna won't be part of the rescue mission.

I'm going to start with the obvious: today's alien stage friday content that opened my third eye.

obviously, hyuna is.. suffering is an understatement right now, she appears in a lot of pain, having to lean on mizi to walk. not only this, but mizi is distressed too. she is looking back, and the warning:intruder sign is reflecting in her eyes. interesting detail I've seen: the screen behind hyuna I'd light, and I personally think it's Luka's promotional photoshoot we've seen in All-In. maybe a slight reach, and not a good point to base a whole theory I genuinely believe in on, but trust me, it all ties togheter: Hyuna is looking directly forward, towards a 'light', while Mizi is looking back, at a warning sign. So, Hyuna will go to their base, and Mizi will do the rescuing mission alone. This might sound stupid, but the AMOUNT of content I found that holds this theory is insane.

Speaking about All-In..

This is a promotional video for All-In. (Might be the teaser but I'm tweaking) Mizi is only shown in the car scene, where she's togheter with Hyuna. In the other parts, Hyuna is completely alone. This might not mean a lot, except that we have this official art:

Unlike the frame in the video, Hyuna is alone here, leaving dust on the on the other cars. Does this mean that she'll go alone? Perhaps leave alone? And there's even more I consider as 'evidence'.

In the cover of hyuna ver. of ROMH, she seems to be laying down, something that I don't think she would be able to do while still being in the ALNST building, and the splash on her face seems to be similar to the character's that have died.

As happy as this looks, again, Mizi isn't here. The rest of the rebellion is, and she's wearing the outfit she had on in All-In when making that video with the others. She's making a gun sign, something usual for her, she's done it multiple times all over. Is this foreshadowing of her being shot?

But this.. even though the backround is Hyuna, it's obvious that the hands are not hers because of the light skin. So is this Mizi that's trying to learn from Hyuna? Maybe because she has to do a mission without her? Back to the All-In teaser, we don't see who's holding the gun that flashes between the frames of Hyuna's hand making a gun sign. I personally think it's Mizi instead, since now she's learned how to fire. Afterall, in All-In, even Hyuna is surprised at her sudden fierceness.

Here, it seems like Hyuna is being announced something, while sitting down. But what could be so important that she is told with such secrecy? The only thing I can imagine is a rescue mission, but she isn't there herself.

In this art, Mizi is looking down, while Hyuna is looking up, with a stern face, almost monitoring. But where could Mizi be, so high up she has to look down, and so bright she has to shadow her eyes? This takes me to the next part of my theory:

II. Till is going to lose.

The light from above the stage in the Round 7 teaser is dark blue, but a specific shade that has been often associated with Mizi. Is she there, so that's why she's looking down? Also from the teaser, we have this (which I think was pointed out before):

The little gun aim light is pointed towards the stage from an alien that seems to have a guard helmet, and then a light covers Till. I think it's enough proof that something will happen to him, but I have more. So much more.. And yet, I think the other ones fit more into another category. III. Even though he'll lose, Till won't die. But he won't live well, either. I am not delusional, I genuinely think Mizi's rescue mission will go well.

Here, Till is holding a strand of Mizi's long hair, the hair we know is long gone. In relationship with the first category, Hyuna is the only one missing from this art.

I initially thought it was Till protecting Mizi from something, but no. I think it's Till protecting the image of Mizi he remembers from something he finds terrifying: and I think that scary thing is the real Mizi, the Mizi that exists now. It's a common theme that Till is only inlove with the image of Mizi, so what if that dissapears? I imagine he'd be terrified of that.

Here, the wire of Till's collar (that we've seen him wearing in round 7, too) seems to be blending with Mizi's hair, as if he is bound to the image of past her. (Since we know her hair is short now.)

In this, the tape is similar to the one that covered his mouth in Top 3, but here, his mouth is wide opened, the tape instead covering his name, as if his freedom, his own voice was given back to him, rather covering his branding whom is proof of ownership.

Here, the characters that are behind have died, and the ones that are holding flowers are the ones who love Mizi. But again, it's the long haired old Mizi.

III. Hallucinations

Alien Stage is about romance, and hallucinating your loved one isn't new in it. Mizi hallucinated Sua in Round 5, and Till hallucinated Mizi (again, her old version) after... we all know what I mean. Hallucinating has led to losing, but is this going to be the case in Round 7?

Well, yes and no. Yes for Till, no for Luka, and I think this aspect is the one that makes the most difference between them.

Let's talk about Till first. I feel like Luka won't genuinely see Till as a threat, especially after Round 6. I do not think that he will do the ROMH technique. And yet, I think Till will hallucinate Ivan in him anyways. Looking at Luka's stage smile and Ivan's default expression, they look very similar (atleast to me), and the white outfits might do it, too.

This particular image makes me feel like that. His fingers aren't purple, which, I don't know what to make out of it, but it's about the neck holding. Ivan always seemed to have something with Till's neck, and there's a lot of art to prove it. This is undoubtedly something that Ivan would do, and I can imagine Till hallucinating Ivan, or atleast, a warped version of him, in situations like this. Till is already in a bad place mentally, so I feel like such a thing would destroy him, even though he won't go down without a fight.

Onto Luka. I think hallucinating Hyuna in Till is inevitable: their energy is just incredibly similar. But unlike Till, Hyuna is Luka's motivation to sing.

In this comic, we find out that Luka doesn't truly like singing: his only reason for singing is (or atleast, was) the fact that Hyuna likes it. And again, unlike Till, Luka is obsessed with the stage. It's canon that he has low self-esteem, and that winning is his way of raising it up. I don't see him having a mentality like Till, but rather, one that sounds more like "Only I get to kill you.", so a competition against Hyuna would only make him more motivated. And so, I think that hallucinating Hyuna gets him even closer to a win.

IV. Till will escape: but at what cost?

Till knows that the last time he turned down escaping, it didn't go well. So, even now, with the new image of Mizi, even now, with Ivan dead, even now, when he's still holding onto an image long gone of someone he loves, he will accept, but without getting implicated into whatever the resistance does too much. Why? Because he thinks he has nothing left except his hallucinations.

V. Conclusion

I'm sorry for how long this is!! I've been thinking for sooo long... I really like how I've made this though, in the end. extra: In this official art, the characters that are slightly smiling are now dead (sua, ivan).. it doesn't really mean anything to what I said (I think), but I found it interesting :)

[sumirhatos]

Photoshoot

Red Velvet - Joy x Male reader

7.3k words

TW: foot fetish, feet worshiping

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This is a continuation of Exposed addiction.

Thanks to Nether Blade for helping me with this chapter. ❤️🥰

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"Miss Bae, but he works at JTBC, and we are not sure if he has any experience in advertisement filming" says the manager, a little bit confused.

"So what? He proved to be very professional last time, what difference does it make?" she says, raising her eyebrow. "Don't you trust my opinion?"

"N-no miss Bae, I'm just-" the manager was about to share his thoughts of disagreement.

"Then it's settled!" she interrupts him, putting on her Aviators and leaving the meeting room.

**BZZ BZZ**

(Late night 11:26 p.m.)

You were watching videos on YouTube until you are interrupted by a call

Usually you don't pick up calls when you are off work, but this time you didn't even bother to check who's calling...

"H-Hello?" you answer with a sleepy voice

"Okay, good, you are not asleep, I got work for you" says Joohyun.

"Ummm, what?" you reply getting confused by the voice, but being too tired to recognize the caller, so you check the caller's ID. It's Joohyun?!?!

"J-joohyun? I mean, Miss Bae!" you spill. "Sorry, didn't recognize your voice, I'm really tired right now, I've had a very long day and I didn't get enough sleep either" you explain to her.

The events of last night are rewinding before your eyes.

"W-what kind of job are you talking about?" you ask her to try to change the subject...

"Well, just a regular filming job you will manage. Wait for my message. You can thank me later. Bye!" she spills and hangs up.

"What?" you hear nothing but you've been hung up on...

"What the fuck is wrong with that woman? First she kicked me out of the hotel room. Now she offers me a job all of a sudden?" you curse before going to bed.

The next morning you receive the message from Joohyun.

"You were approved for the job by our managers, I'm absolutely sure Sooyoung will be happy to work with you again.😏"

"Wait, what? I have to film Sooyoung?" you reply to her, not that you mind seeing Sooyoung again.

"She will send you the deets later, you owe me one, pretty boy, enjoy the shooting ;)" she replies.

You initially met Sooyoung and the Red Velvet members a long time ago, the first encounter happened when you had just started your job as a part of a filming crew for MBC, being just 19 years old back then.

Red Velvet had just debuted as a group and were invited as guests on the Weekly Idol Show, that's when you met them for the first time.

The other members probably didn't pay attention to you at all, you were just one of the assistants for the filming crew.

But Sooyoung was different, she noticed a young member of the filming crew, the clumsy guy, who was just trying his best to be helpful.

After the filming she even came up to you and said "Fighting!", which was like a breath of fresh air for you after a long day of work. Maybe she was just trying to be polite? Or maybe she pitied you?

Yet somehow you later became sort of buddies, you were someone she could talk to during work, you were her guy in the filming crew, who helped her with small requests, like messaging her about the filming, sending schedules, and sharing other relevant information. Sometimes you hang out together as a part of a group, telling your stories, sharing your experiences in life and much more.

You wouldn't call it a close relationship or anything, but you became sort of friends, to an extent.

A few years later, life becomes more successful for you. JTBC, another broadcasting channel made you an offer you could never pass on, came with a new team, new place, new crew and new position for you: a fucking filming director! They even made their own show, Idol Room, which featured old hosts, from Weekly Idol.

Right away, you became THE guy in the team, so others finally started paying attention to you. Suddenly more people wanted to hang out with you, go for drinks and attend parties together or stuff like that.

Even idols started paying more attention and trying to suck up to you for different reasons. Sooyoung was not an exception, she also asked you for professional advice here and there.

"What's wrong honey?", a voice came from your bedroom, "is everything okay?", she adds coming to the kitchen.

You hoped she wasn’t trying to become closer to you just because of the new important role you had, but that she indeed considered you an interesting person worthy to hang out with.

"Shit...This woman is fucking killing me", you say out loud.

"Well, I just got a message from Joohyun, she got me an extra job... I'm having an ad shoot for Sooyoung", you say with an annoyed face.

"Oh! You can try out a different type of shooting by taking this job and make some extra money as well. Good for you. Joohyun is so nice and generous!", she exclaimed with a smile, "She cares about people she works with so much and even helps them to get more gigs!"

If only she knew what a real bitсh Joohyun is...

"Plus, you have told me that you liked to work with Sooyoung in the past when you had just started your career as an assistant, remember?", she adds.

"Yeah, I guess'', you answer, "but it's Saturday and I wanted to spend the day with you... I should decline it", you add with sadness in your voice.

"Nah", she shakes her head, "It's fine, we can watch Netflix when you come home later today", she smiles. "I know how much you love your job and I don't wanna see you walking around with a sour face all day, feeling bad for not taking this opportunity", she comes to you and pats you on the head.

"Thank you", you simply reply to her, taking her hand and holding it for a moment.

"Okay, chop-chop then, don't wanna be late, right?", she says, clapping her hands.

"Yeah..." you reply to her, still annoyed by the fact that you have to work on a Saturday.

You get up and head to your closet, get dressed into a casual outfit: grey joggers, green loose hoodie with a zipper on top of an LA Lakers print t-shirt.

Then you head back to the kitchen, and see that your girlfriend is munching on her breakfast while watching some news.

"What are you wearing?!?! Are you going to a basketball match? Haha", she says giggling at you.

"Hey it's Saturday, my official day off. I can wear whatever I want!", you exclaim to her light tease, "And who the fuck is gonna stop me? Am I the director or what?!", you say proudly of yourself

"I was joking you little poopster", she says, slapping your thigh.

"Yeah-yeah, whatever", you reply, heading to the door.

You put your sneakers on and head out.

"I'll see you in the evening, I'll try to get home not too late", you say to her heading out.

"Hey, wait. Haven't you forgotten something?", she says, jiggling the car keys in her hand.

She throws them at you and you catch them like Lebron catches the pass from Davis to perform the slam dunk.

"Thanks", you say to her and go to your car.

**BZZ BZZ** your phone vibrates.

"Hello Mr. Foot Fetishist! 😏 I guess we are working again together! I've attached the details. See ya! 😘", was the message from Sooyoung

"Oh god, what is this nickname? Joohyun told you?", you reply to her message...

"Maybe 😋", she replies

You have kept your fetish in secret from her and other idols successfully so far and now Joohyun had to ruin this... And not just anyone, but Sooyoung? Now she’s gonna try to hide her feet from you. Great...

"Hope that nickname doesn't stick for too long though...", you murmur to yourself, while getting in your car.

Heading to the place Sooyoung mentioned in her message, you arrive in about 20 minutes. It's some 3-story building near SM Ent. headquarters.

"I guess bees don't want to get too far from their nest", you say while getting out of the car, you take off your hoodie and leave it inside.

Heading straight inside the building, you go to the 3rd floor, that's what was said in the description Sooyoung sent.

At the entrance to the studio you are stopped by some bodyguard in a suit.

"Can I help you?", he says with a disgusted face. Is it because of your outfit? Probably because you don't look like somebody who might be here for work?

"I'm a filming director from JTBC, here for a Barrel photoshoot with Park Sooyoung.

"Yeah and I'm Lebron James", he mocks you by pointing at your tee.

"Hey listen, I don't want any trouble and I think you don't want any either, right? I'm here for work", you tell him in response. Maybe it sounded like too much...

"The fuck? Asshole

"Guys where is my phone? I need to make a call, Sooyoung asked people walking around her, but then she stops when she sees you at the entrance to the studio.

You are mesmerized... She looks... Well, to say she looks like a goddess would be an understatement... Her makeup has already been done, her beautiful hair is also ready, curling over her shoulders.

She's wearing a white cropped hoodie, a short lavender sports skirt that barely covers her mouthwatering thighs and exposing to the world her long fucking legs, going down, on succulent feet she has light pink summer heels.

"I was about to call you, but unfortunately I can't seem to find my phone in this mess ", she says, pouting. So fucking cute...

Looks like no pedicure today, some toenails might look meh without any polish applied, but that's not the case for Park Sooyoung, her toenails are looking pristine and elegant in their natural color, signaling how well she looks after them.

"Oh, there you are", she comes to your direction, "He's with me", she pushes away the bodyguard.

"H-hello Miss Park", you reply, trying to be formal with her around other people even though you are sort of friends... "So um... I suppose it's a summer outfit photoshoot?"

"Yep, didn't Joohyun tell you about the job?", she asks, taking you by the hand and leading you inside the studio. A very bright place, a lot of light from the studio LED lights.

"No", you shook your head, "she didn't tell me anything about the job itself..." you add just staring at Sooyoung stunned by her beauty once again...

"Okay, we should get to work if we want to finish the whole photoshoot today, there are a lot of outfits I need to pose in", she says with a bright smile.

She then leans towards you and seductively whispers into your ear: "I hope you like it, oppa", she said, giving you goosebumps...

"This is gonna be a long day...", the only thought that crossed your mind.

"Um... Okay guys, let's start, shall we?", she asked without looking for an answer obviously.

"I can see that Miss Park is almost ready", you said, pointing to a girl going through her bags, presumably looking for her phone.

"Found it!"Sooyoung exclaimed, holding onto her phone and holding it up in the air.

"Okay, we are set to film in two settings, one is the regular white background and the other one is with the sand & beach theme", says one of her managers.

She strikes a few poses, which you capture with the camera. Everyone on set is probably appreciating her visuals. The main thing that you are captivated with though are her amazing legs, her ample thighs, strong looking calves and last but not least, her feet, those succulent toes, the arch, the ankles... Fuck...

"Sounds interesting", was your response, "okay, let's begin", you added. 

While you are usually supposed to instruct the person that is in front of the camera, Joy is a natural, the camera loves her. After all these years of knowing her, you have figured out there is not much direction to do with her, so you let her improvise.

"G-Good job Miss Park, you are such a pro", you comment a little bit nervously, getting yourself a smile in response from her. She knows you are staring.

"Okay, we will proceed with the next outfit", her manager said. Sooyoung left for a couple of minutes to the changing room.

Coming back she's wearing another lavender color outfit: long sleeve sporty top and very short shorts, once again exposing her amazing thighs to your eyes, completing the look with a baseball cap of the same lavender color, on her feet she had peach colored sneakers. Whole fit looks very beautiful.

You take a few pics in the setting with sand and a few regular pics, after that she left for the changing room once again.

"Good, next!", the manager said again.

Couple of minutes later, she comes back in a surfing outfit with black tight pants, a tight light blue top and the same peach sneakers.

"Uhh... It's too hot in here", she says waving her hands in front of her face. All of a sudden she takes off her sneakers, freeing her appetising feet from their shackles . Playfully she shows her shoes in the camera and you took a shot of that. Sooyoung giggled at you. If only you could sniff those shoes...

This girl knew exactly what she’s doing, those natural colored toenails are looking so fucking delicious, it drives you crazy. If you two were alone you'd have jumped at her to feast on each of her toes. The thought of it made you sweat even more...

To shake off  the intrusive thoughts, you tried to concentrate on taking photos of Sooyoung, while she was posing.

Moving to the setting with sand she looked like a true surfer girl, who just came to the beach and is getting prepared to ride the waves.  She sits down and plays with the sand.

You take more photos of her and they come out cute rather than sexy.

"Okay, time for the next outfit, I suppose?", you ask one of Sooyoung's managers.

Sooyoung gets up and leaves to the dressing room once again to return in a very cute blue chequered dress.

"Okay, for the last two outfits we want the beach setting", the manager says.

"Oh, so I don't need my shoes then?" Sooyoung asks the manager.

"If you don't want to, sure", the manager replies indifferently.

Glancing at you, Sooyoung smiles and elegantly takes off the heels that she wore previously at the beginning of the shooting session and then tiptoes to the beach setting.

There is something about sandy feet... Something alluring that makes you desire her feet even more...

"Wish I could see her cute little toes"...

Right that moment as if she heard you, Sooyoung lifts her left leg a little out of the sand just enough for you to be able to see her cute toes.

Those feet need to be worshipped, those toes need to be sucked, those soles need to be massaged and licked... Sooyoung looks at you and giggles once again. Can she actually read your thoughts?

You snap more pictures of her once again, while she is spinning around being playful in front of the camera.

"Okay, last outfit, Sooyoung", the manager says.

You check your watch and to your surprise you’ve already been shooting for 2 hours... It seems the time passed very quickly because of the hypnotizing beauty of Sooyoung, so you lost the sense of time.

Sooyoung heads to the changing room, as she passes you, she runs her finger down your cheek and gives you a hungry glance.

"Uhh... This girl...", you think, "What if somebody notices?!?!", it seems Sooyoung doesn't care.

It took a few minutes for her to return in another jaw-dropping outfit: yellow one-piece swimsuit that tightly hugs all of her curves, denim shorts, once again not covering her thighs and topped off with a blue cap on her head, kind of cute. Another perfect beach outfit.

She sits down in the sand, her butt is resting on her soles, which are covered in sand once again, that swimsuit almost doesn't cover her back, leaving little to your imagination, such an amazing body, and such a pretty face, the face that you have splattered with your cum just a few days ago...

Flashbacks from that incredible night are coming back to your mind making you feel fired up once again... She on her knees in front of you, her face painted with your load... Fuck...

Sooyoung looked at you with a smirk once again, as if she knew exactly what you were thinking right now. You stopped taking pictures, staring at her through the camera, you couldn't take your eyes off...

"Okay, good job everyone", her manager said,"and thank you for helping us with the shooting, sir", she addressed you.

"Uhh... Yeah, thank you guys, good job", you reply awkwardly to the manager and the whole crew, "I'll be happy to work with you next time if I have a chance", you add.

Meanwhile everyone started to pack their things, cameras, lights, screens and etc., Sooyoung gracefully stood up and headed to the changing room.

"Sooyoung we will be waiting for you in the van, to drive you home", her manager says to her heading out.

"Nah, that's okay, I have to discuss something with opp-", she stops mid sentence,"I have to discuss something with the director here", she continues.

"Y-Yeah?, you say with uncertainty, seeing her glare at you, "right, we have to discuss... Yes...", you try to come up with something, but nothing comes to your mind.

"Yeah", she glares at you, "Next shooting for Barrel, remember? I've told you that the contract includes a few photoshoots", she elbows you in the side, signalling to you to play along.

"Oh, yeah! How could I forget this? The next shooting, ha-ha", you say with an awkward laugh.

"Oh, okay, we can wait", the manager replies.

"It's fine, he'll give me a ride home, right?" Sooyoung smiles at you.

"Yeah, I will, definitely, I'll drop off Miss Park at her place, don't you worry", you try to reassure her manager with an awkward smile on your face.

"O-kay, see you on Monday then. Bye", the manager says. She bows to you and leaves the studio with other staff members.

Seeing them out you bow last time. Then you get hit by something on your back, you look at Sooyoung, she has taken off her shorts and threw them at you. That yellow one piece swimsuit barely covers her ripe peach... All of a sudden you are hungry...

"I'll be right back", she says getting into the changing room, "don't peek", she says smirking at you.

"I didn't even plan to", you reply to her. She shuts the door.

One minute later Sooyoung comes out wearing a white dress paired with white sneakers, her hair is tied back in a ponytail to reveal her cute forehead.

"Okay, let's go", she says heading for the exit. You say nothing following her while checking her from the back. In addition to her juicy thighs she has very muscular calves.

Heading to your car you keep staring at her ass and legs.

"Enjoying the view?", she says, turning around all of a sudden.

"Yes", you answered firmly without any hesitation.

"Good", she smiles, "is this your car?", she points at a red sedan.

"Yeah, get in", you say, opening the door for her.

"Oh wow, so there are still gentlemen left in this world!", she exclaims with a grin on her face. You decided to say nothing, just replying with a smile.

She gets inside your car and you close the door for her. After that, you go to the back of your car to put your camera and your bag into the trunk and then go to the driver seat.

Sooyoung has already gotten comfortable in the seat beside you and was waiting for you inside.

"So, what did you want to talk about?", you asked her when you got in, put the key in and started the engine.

"Well, I just wanted to hang out with you, you've been busy not attending any parties, so I was wondering how have you been lately? Plus, my manager would have talked about work all the way, if I had taken the ride...", she says with a weariness in her voice.

"Yeah, I've been busy working on new stuff for our channel", you point out.

"I also don't want to go home alone...", she said with sadness in her voice.

"You should've invited your friends to hang out then", you suggested.

"Yeah? Who for example? My group members?" she asked.

"Yeah, why not?", you said to her calmly

"We see each other all the time", she replied. "So, I've decided to invite you instead. Joohyun told me that you are fun to hang out with", "Joohyun told me, everything", she said, taking off her sneakers, reclining her seat and putting her bare feet on a dashboard.

"A-am I?", you replied startled by it, trying to concentrate on the road instead of her legs.

"Do you like mine?" She asked with a grin obviously meaning her succulent toes which she was wiggling on a dashboard.

"Y-yes, of course", you gave her a short reply, peeking at her feet.

"Good", she said, shifting in her seat and putting her feet into your lap, "oh yeah, that's better", she added.

Moving her feet slowly all over your lap, she provokes an already forming bulge to get even harder, making it hard to concentrate on the road.

"Sooyoung, I'm driving!", you exclaimed, not even trying to get her feet from your crotch.

"You know, I never expected you to be a feet kinda guy, but now that I think about it, there were some hints to it", she smirks, grinding her right foot on your bulge.

"R-really?", like what?"

"Well, whenever I wore some open toed heels, you were complimenting my shoes, I just thought that you actually have taste in shoes'', she replied, still rubbing your bulge through the pants.

"Sooyoung...", you groaned.

"Should I stop?", she grinded her foot on your shaft even harder.

You say nothing... Yes, it's dangerous to drive like that. But what can you do? Are you even capable of telling her to stop? Of course not, you can't tell her to stop. Even if you did, she'd not stop what she's doing.

Smirking at you she brings her left foot to your right cheek.

"So, I need an answer, should I stop?", she repeats the question with a slightly seductive tone.

"No...", you finally reply, so she continues to smother your cock with her right foot and starts caressing your face with her left foot. Next move was kinda predictable. She placed her toes on your lips, you opened your mouth welcoming a few of the toes inside.

"Ooh, Joohyun did mention that you like feet, but she didn't mention you are so freaky about it", she giggled surprised at your initiative.

Her toes tasted weird, somehow you catch some alcohol flavour, so you dare to say: "your toes taste weird"

"Did you think I'd put my shoes on without wiping the sand off it?", she asked, "I used antiseptic wipes, also why would I want to poke you when my feet are dirty, it sounds disgusting...", she continued.

"Well, I wouldn't mind, because it's you", you said, taking her toes out of your mouth and switching to kisses.

"Ewwww, you are a freak", she resented, snatching her feet from you, "why would you want to lick dirt, yikes!", she exclaims.

"Nah, it's not like that, to be honest, but if it's someone I like, I'd do that", you commented on her antics,massaging her feet with your right hand.

"Yeah, it's more like a display of affection that I'd want to worship your feet even though they might be dirty", you reply, gently massaging her left foot with your right hand, rubbing her sole with your thumb, running it along the whole length of her foot from bottom to the tip of her toes, still wet from your saliva.

"Umm, so you like me?", she asks, getting shy from your words, you can notice that her cheeks are getting a little pink.

To your disappointment Sooyoung takes her feet off your lap and sits properly in her seat, putting on her sneakers.

"Well-, you were about to answer, but you get interrupted

**You have arrived at your destination** - the voice from the navigator announced

"D-Do you want to come in?", she asks awkwardly, trying not to look at you. But why is she so awkward all of a sudden?

"S-sure", you reply with the same awkwardness in your voice.

You two get out of the car without saying a word and head inside the building, past the concierge desk, into the elevator and to her apartment on the 15th floor. Entering the apartment you are greeted by the sunlight coming from the all floor-to-ceiling windows at the side opposing the entrance door.

"Make yourself at home", she said, putting on some fluffy slippers, as went off somewhere.

"O-kay", you mumble, she probably didn't hear that anyway.

The whole apartment was dominated by light colours, bright curtains, pale walls, it's almost as if the light was radiated by the owner's aura.

You sit on a white chair next to the huge windows, through which you can see the whole city.

A minute later Sooyoung comes back with two beer bottles.

"Here, I figured you wouldn't mind something to drink", she says, sitting right next to you on another chair, she hands you one of the bottles.

"Yeah, thanks'', you reply, "the view is amazing, it's like the city is in the palm of your hand'', you continued, opening the bottle and taking a sip.

"Mhm, that's one of the reasons I chose this place, you can see each part of Seoul from here, the view calms me down", she comments.

You look at her, a gorgeous girl is sitting in front of you, drinking beer, "Yeah, it is indeed a peaceful sight to see", but obviously you were talking about her, not the view from the window.

"Can I take a picture of you? It's a very nice view, it will look good", you ask her all of a sudden, pulling out your camera, good thing that you have a habit of taking it everywhere with you.

"Sure", she puts down the bottle of beer and looks right into the camera "what should I do?", she then asks, acting if it was some other photoshoot.

"Actually, be natural, casual photos are the best, to be honest, I don't want you to be professional right now", you say while taking a photo of her.

"Okay, if you say so", she replies, relaxing in the sunlight, as it pierces her black hair curls, making her shine like the star she is.

You take photos from different angles, zoom in, zoom out. After that she gives you a grin, pointing at her feet, and you gladly take a picture of her soles.

"Do you want to kiss them, oppa?", she asks, looking at you with those sexy eyes of hers, looking at you in anticipation of what you are going to say.

You don't have to be asked twice, so you put down the camera, lean forward and place your lips on the bottom of her toes. First you kiss the toes of the left foot, going from the pinky all the way to the big toe, then on the right foot you go from the big toe to the pinky.

When you are finished you lean backwards, waiting for the next command.

"Cute, now lick my feet", Sooyoung giggles.

So you obey the same way you followed Joohyun's order the last time. You started to lick Sooyoung's feet, first the right foot from the tip of her toes to the bottom and then from the heel to the top of the left foot, savouring the salty taste of her delicious soles.

"Hihi, it tickles", Sooyoung chuckles looking at you, but she doesn't move, letting you do the job, "Now suck on my toes, oppa", she commands wiggling her toes in front of you.

You obey her once again, starting with her right foot once more, you suck on each of her toes, one by one, alternating between sucking, kissing and licking them, trying to clean every bit of her succulent toes.

After that you start licking and sucking between all five toes on her left foot while trying to envelope them in your mouth. Sooyoung's foot is definitely wider than Joohyun's, but you can't complain about that.

"Oh wow. Do you love my feet that much?", Sooyoung asks you, staring at you again with those lewd eyes of hers.

"Mmm, I guess the answer is yes'', she giggles admiring your thorough work, her toes are glistening with your saliva, those are surely clean now.

She leans forward and runs a finger down your left cheek "Such a submissive oppa, do you like it when I command you?", she asks you seductively. You nod in response.

"Get up and undress'', she said, and you don't ask why. Following her command, you take off your hoodie, t-shirt, joggers and socks. Sooyoung bit her bottom lip watching intently as you took off your garments.

Then she leaps at you and begins to touch your body, starting with the chest, she trails to your abs and starts going even lower, to the only part that remains clothed. With both of her hands she gently palms your prominent bulge up and down a couple of times, going lower to your ballsack, cupping it softly as massages your testicles.

"Mmmm, it feels so full, have you not been released for the past few days?", she asks looking right into your eyes and licking her lips, you just nod.

"Let me help you with that", she says, removing your undergarments, freeing your dick from its cover. Your cock springs out and bumps her into the face, Sooyoung bursts into a laughter because of that, which makes you laugh as well. 

"Your little friend is a quick one!", she giggles. She spits on your cock to lubricate it and proceeds to jerk you off.

Stroking your now naked shaft with her right hand at a good pace and continuing to grope your balls with the left, she extracts a moan from you indicating your pleasure. That's when she stops.

"Okay, continue oppa, you got one more foot to clean'', she says putting her right foot on the edge of the leg rest so you could have better access to it, leaning back into her seat, she closed her eyes waiting for you to proceed.

You kneel in front of her and do the same amount of worshipping to her right foot, sucking on each of her toes, leaving no dry space.

After that you grab both of her ankles and put the soles on your face. Her toes are on your cheekbones and while her soles rest on your lips. It's so soft, so divine and beautiful. It feels like time has just stopped completely. There is nothing in the world right now, it's just you and Sooyoung soles.

"Khm-khm", Sooyoung clears her throat.

"Oh, sorry, they looked so soft, so I couldn't resist to feel them on my face", you replied to her, kissing her heels

"Oh yeah?", she says, smothering your face with her feet, softly pressing them on your cheeks, "do you like that?", she asks without stopping moving her feet all over your face.

"Yes'', you reply between kisses and nibbles on her soles. Sooyoung produces a soft groan of satisfaction. After a few more seconds you go lower, her heels receive the same treatment of licking, kissing and sucking, making Sooyoung groan again.

Kissing her left ankle you go higher to her calf and to her thigh and then to her-

"S-Stop", she says all of a sudden, withdrawing away from you to sit properly in the chair .

"I didn't tell you to do that, are you impatient, oppa?", she says, her face getting red... Is she shy?

"Yes...", you reply desperately. Of course you are impatient. You want her, you want her so bad it hurts...

"I've noticed, but I'm not done playing with you", she says putting her feet in your crotch, "I think your friend wants to play too", she adds with a smirk on her gorgeous face.

She teases your shaft with her left foot, rubbing the tip between her big toe and her index toe, meanwhile massaging your balls with her right foot. It doesn't take long for you to leak pre-cum all over her toes.

"Fuck, Sooyoung...", you moan her name. She's doing a number on you.

"Lay down", she commands, throwing a cushion at you to use for your head. Then she stands up and goes to the kitchen to grab some unidentified bottle from the counter.

When she comes back you are already in a horizontal position ready for your mistress in anticipation. She sits back on the chair and pours some brown-ish liquid substance all over her soles and toes.

"Hope you don't mind honey, I don't have anything else here haha, she laughs and pours it on your cock.

She proceeds to rub it into your shaft and balls with her feet.

"Oppa is so hard for me", she says, pressing your length with her sole against your stomach. She trails it from bottom to the top with her right foot all the way through your length, while pinching your ballsack with the toes of her left foot.

As a result of Sooyoung's work you start to moan each time she completes the stroke with her foot.

"You are already leaking, haha", she giggles, rubbing your precum with her toes, griding it just between her big toe and the second toe for a brief moment and then completely stops.

"I'm also leaking because of you oppa...", she says, slipping her right hand under her dress, trailing a slightly darker wet spot on her white underwear.

"Sooyoung let me taste you", you said, starting to get up to help her with her "problem", but she held you back in place with her feet not letting you move.

Instead, she slips her hands under the dress and slips the underwear off underneath. Then she slides it to her thighs, down to her ankles and then off her legs. She grabs them and throws them away.

"Do you like the view?", she asks, rubbing her now exposed clitoris with her fingers, while playing with your shaft with both of her feet this time.

She places your cock between her soles and starts to fuck you with her soft feet, it's not slow this time, in a few seconds she has picked up a good pace, making you grunt almost every time her feet reached the bottom of your shaft.

"Fuck, Sooyoung...", you moan her name helping her motion by thrusting between her soles.

"Do you wanna cum?", she moans, fingering and rubbing herself with almost the same pace of her feet.

"Yes, fuck, I'm getting close", you grunt, increasing the speed of the footjob even more.

"Ah-h, y-yes, I'm close as well, oppa", she moans once again, also increasing the intensity of her hand work.

"Are you gonna cum, oppa?", she asks, "O-oh, yes, yes give it to me oppa, she grins at you.

"Y-yes, Sooyoung, you are gonna make me cum so hard!", you grunt in a low voice trying to resist the urge to release your pent up spunk all over her feet. Just a little bit longer, just a little bit, you don't want this to end.

"Yes, yes oppa, blow it all over my beautiful feet that you love so much", she says staring right into your eyes.

"Gonna cum all over my soles? Or maybe you want to paint my lovely toes and tops white with your creamy seed?, she asks switching from fucking you with her soles to rubbing you with her lovely toes again.

"Fuuuuuck, Sooyoung-", you moan her name out loud, being unable to say anything else.

"I guess I should decide then", she says, coming to a full stop and then gets down on the floor. She spins around so her ass is facing you. She lays down on her stomach and places her feet back on your shaft.

She resumes fucking you with her feet in a reverse footjob.

It doesn't take long for you to reach your limits, bringing you to the edge of your release. 

You grab her by the ankles and help her fuck you with her feet till you cross the line of no return.

Sooyoung's name is coming out of your mouth in a moan of pure satisfaction. The volcano has erupted.

First spur is released from the tip of your shaft with quite a high velocity and lands on her right leg, droplets going here and there from the calf down to her sole.

"Yes, yes, give me all of your cum, yes!", Sooyoung demanded, slowly stroking you with her feet.

Second blob released in a string across the whole length of her left sole that you had just cleaned with your mouth, staining her foot from the heel to the toes.

Next spur was not powerful enough to make an "explosion", but as most of the eruptions happen, your hot lava was going down your length reaching sooyoung soles, which are still gently pumping your shaft on both sides.

"Wow. Oppa, if I knew you would have such a big load stored in there I'd not let it go anywhere but inside me", Sooyoung says in a surprise.

She sits up and reaches for your cock, now pumping the remaining cum out of you with her right hand.

The last few weaker pulses of your cock released the remaining cum on her fingers, milking you completely dry.

She flips over on her back, lifting her legs a little to show you her soles covered in your white paint. Then she spreads the cum she just extracted out of you all over her toes, rubbing your load into her skin.

Doing the same with her soles and after playing enough with her feet and your cum, she brings her hand to her lips and licks remaining semen off her fingers.

"Mmm, so tasty", she says with a giggle on her face.

"I guess honey helps", you say.

You are spent, laying there on the floor you feel completely exhausted after an intense high that you just had.

But...

In a blink of an eye Sooyoung is between your legs sucking your cockhead trying to milk any cum that is remaining inside your half erected cock.

"Fuck, Sooyoung, please", you moan her name again, trying to get her off you.

But you are too weak to do anything, she ignores your plea as she’s pumping your shaft with her right hand in a tandem while bobbing her head all over your length.

This magical sudden blowjob on your sensitive cock makes you moan even louder than before.

She brings you to full erection again and with a pop she takes your penis out of her mouth.

"Shall we go for round 2?" Sooyoung asks, getting up and helping you up as well.

But right that instant you are interrupted by an intercom call.

"Oh come on, who could it be? "Sooyoung whines, heading to the door.

"Yes? Who is this?", she answers the call with an annoyed voice.

"Hey, Sooyoung-ah, it's me", you hear a very familiar voice from the intercom, but can't really recognize who it was exactly, definitely someone you know or met before.

"Oh, shit. Unnie, I totally forgot that we are having a slumber party tonight. Come in", Sooyoung replies and presses the button on the intercom, which opens the door.

"Get dressed. Quick!", she says to you slightly panicking.

You take all of your clothes and run to the bathroom to get dressed, meanwhile Sooyoung proceeds to clean herself and the floor with wet wipes she grabbed on the counter.

The bathroom is pretty big, there is a big bathtub and a separate shower, the sink countertop is filled with a lot of different skin care and makeup products. Well, that is expected for a girl like her, her face needs to be perfect all the time.

One minute later you come out from the bathroom and head back to the living room. Sooyoung and her guest are discussing something in the kitchen.

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?", a girl with black long hair asks.

"Umm... Hello Miss Kang", you mock her a little by addressing her with her last name.

"Lol, drop this bullshit, we are not at work", she replies.

"I apologise, Miss Kang", you say and all 3 of you burst into laughter.

"Anyways, what are you doing at Sooyooung's place?", she raises her eyebrow.

All of a sudden awkward silence descended in the room...

"Uhh... Did I interrupt something?", Seulgi asked, breaking the silence.

"Not really, we were discussing some work matters", Sooyoung answers, "but we actually just finished, right?", she added, addressing you.

"Y-yeah, we just finished discussing the next photoshoot for the fashion brand Sooyoung is working now.", you replied, adding to the lies Sooyoung just said.

"Oh, right you've had the first photoshoot today, how did it go?", Seulgi asks you two.

"It went very well!", you answered, "Sooyoung did a great job, so photos came out very well", you added.

"Yeah, it was nice, but the painting is as good as the painter that works on it", Sooyoung said, winking at you.

Your phone buzzes. Incoming call your girlfriend.

"Well said Sooyoung!", Seulgi said approving her point.

**BZZ BZZ**

"My apologies ladies, I need to take this call, might be important", you say to them, heading to another room.

You go to the guest room and pick up a call.

"Hello, what's up honey?", you reply.

"Hello, we need to talk", she says.

"Sure, what's the matter?", you say curiously.

"Not over the phone", she answers.

"Oooookay?", sure. I'll be home shortly.

"Okay", was her reply and she hung up.

What the heck was that? Uhh...

You head back to the kitchen to Sooyoung and Seulgi.

"Okay ladies, I gotta go home", you said.

"Oh, that's sad, I thought you gonna stay for a little, but it's fine", Sooyung says with a disappointed voice, "Hope we can hang out again like that next time", she winks at you, obviously alluding to continuing what was left unfinished.

"Yeah, sorry, duty calls", you both head to the door.

You put your shoes on and head out. But before you leave Sooyoung stops you and gives you a peck on a cheek, absolutely throwing you off guard.

"I-I'll see you later", she says right after blushing away. And just like that from a fling Sooyoung made this much more complicated.

"Y-yeah. B-bye", you said rushing out.

"Okay that was random, I'll deal with this later", you said out loud going downstairs to your car.

So you just head home, but you are unable to get thoughts of what just happened out of your head. That kiss on your cheek from Sooyoung... What the fuck?

[saeist]

it's not living if it's not with you ── s. itoshi

synopsis: if it's meant to be, it will be genre: ex2lovers, arranged/fake dating, celebrity!au, pro!au, fluff, angst with happy ending, sharing a bed, 2nd chances, ... word count: 12.3k warnings: reader and sae aged up 22+, implied sex towards the end, reader has a hint of social anxiety/claustrophobia, i think sae is a little ooc in some scenes, lmk if i missed some notes: THERE YOU HAVE IT SAEISTS.. MY 1K SPECIAL!! THIS IS THE SUPER SECRET SAE FIC I'VE BEEN TEASING EVERYONE ABOUT FOR LIKE A WEEK NOW AND IT'S FINALLY IN FRUITION! <3 here's a lil sae brainrot to show my gratitude to you guys ^_^ fellow saeists who also consume an unhealthy(?) amount of sae content...... this fic is also dedicated to the loml my bae aeri @saerins for taking ur time of day to beta-read and to my angel baby sage @invsu as well <33 ilu guys extras: i made a playlist for this bc i am insane like that and without further a do.. sit back, relax and enjoy! lmk what u guys think either in the tags or comments bc i rlly worked hard on this for like a week and i jus couldn't stop writing! talk abt a sae earworm... ++ if u guys find theres a lot of the 1975 references.. its bc i was listening to their songs as i made this lawl .. tmi!

001.

you didn’t really put into consideration how awkward it actually was to be working on a modeling gig with your ex boyfriend.

the pay was obviously really good that’s why you even agreed to book it in the first place, especially since it was for a famous luxury brand and their fragrance line

so imagine your horror when you walk into set and see your ex posing for the cameras.

you silently hoped that it was just his solo shoot and not with you because your manager did mention that you would be having a partner for this photoshoot

the photographer greets you with a hug and compliments your outfit for the shoot. a white, sultry open neckline dress. the theme of the shoot was it was set on the beach with a sunset background

he instructs you to lay on the makeshift sand and tells you to start posing for your solo shots.

after a couple of clicks, the photographer compliments you on your professionalism on set and then calls your ex boyfriend.

“sae! time for the couple shots i told you about” the photographer calls out to sae who was on his makeup chair. your eyes widened in realization that he was, in fact, your partner for today’s shoot

you tried to look at your manager for some help but it was no use. your manager was busy talking to other people on set. you can feel your heart beating faster by the minute as sae walks closer to you

he was wearing something similar to what you were wearing. dress pants and a white oversized unbuttoned polo. his exposed toned abdomen was probably the main highlight of his outfit with it glistening under the studio lights. 

you bit your lip and looked away. sae has always been eye candy, there was no denying that. you were surprised yourself when you managed to bag him during his rookie days, but now that he was almost, if not an A list celebrity with his elite status in the world of football, you can almost say that itoshi sae was totally out of your league

you come back to your senses when the photographer claps his hands and muses how you and sae have insane chemistry that he has ever witnessed. you let out a little huff at the comment.

‘if only he knew’ you think to yourself, avoiding sae’s gaze as much as possible

the shoot starts and the photographer instructs sae to hover over you while holding the perfume bottle. sae nods and does what he’s told, he’s a professional after all. he wouldn’t let his personal feelings interfere with his work. that was the golden rule in the industry

you locked eyes with sae for the first time in years. he still had those fiery teal eyes that gets you weak in the knees each time. your eyes slowly dart from his eyes to his lips.

“keep doing that y/n!” the photographer cheers, clicking away on his camera. did you do something in your past life that you would inevitably end up in an awkward situation like this. a situation wherein you and your ex lover, in a position where you two are posing like an actual couple

your eyes flicker back from sae’s lips to his eyes again. for a second there you thought you felt a spark, a connection, an old flame that has been rekindled at that very moment.

til it all comes back to you in a flash

you forgot you hated him. you hate itoshi sae and you could’ve sworn itoshi sae hated you too. 

the bitter taste is still in your mouth after all these years. how could you forget the man who broke your little heart in two?

it was childish really. looking back at it now, where you were merely just starting out as a rookie model and sae being the same, a rookie at his profession. just two kids having a similar situation in two whole different industries. it was hard not to get entangled.

you were always known to be sae's long time lover. you were always supportive of his games. present whenever you can, sitting at the exclusive VIP section of the stadiums, wearing his number on your back; and if you weren’t able to attend due to your own schedules, you would still manage to find the time to support him. may it be posting an instagram story that you were watching him on your phone while you were getting your makeup done or wearing his jersey on the day of the game

sae was the same. he would always be seen wearing the stuff from brands you’ve modeled for. from jewelries to exclusive clothing lines, sae would always be seen wearing them, his silent way of showing support in your own craft. 

you were proud of him, and he was proud of you too.

but as all things are, good things come and go. even in the most unexpected times.

there were already rumors circulating that you and sae were ready to tie the knot, some news outlets even stating that maybe you two have gone ahead and tied the knot at some island during your secret little rendezvous. (having been caught going to santorini for more than multiple occasions)

the public has always been supportive of your relationship throughout the years. even earning the title as the nation’s sweethearts with how they’ve seen your relationship blossom from puppy love to what they call as “true love”

with the news that the nation’s sweethearts have parted ways, the public was as heartbroken as you. 

sae suddenly called it quits after almost five years of dating. it was after he has been taken under the wing of real madrid’s division A where his career as a midfielder really took off. to make matters even worse, he broke it off at the same place he claimed you as his.

since then, you’ve sworn to hate him. you’ve resented him. you felt like all those years that you two have built was nothing. you couldn’t even believe him at first when he spat out the words “we’re over” like it was nothing. 

five years, five years worth of unforgettable firsts. five fucking years to unlearn everything.

you were absolutely crushed back then. you even took a hiatus with everything going on in your life. you were a mess. you actually can’t believe sae had no remorse over this. were the five years you were together nothing for him? all those tears you two have shed, the firsts of everything, all those precious memories, were they all nothing? 

it hasn’t even been a year or so but it seemed like sae already moved on, which added more salt to your already open wound. he was flourishing with his career while all of this was going on. sae has been photographed multiple times leaving clubs with lipstick stains all over his neck. 

it stung of course. seeing him move on with his life as if he didn’t just ruin yours. that very night, you swore to yourself that you will never forgive itoshi sae for what he did.

never again would you open your heart to someone like itoshi sae.

itoshi sae, the man who broke your heart into two.

“earth to y/n?” the photographer snaps his fingers in front of you, breaking your little trance.

you apologize to the photographer, your cheeks heating up at the realization that you really got lost in your thoughts the moment you’ve met eyes with sae.

“as i was saying,” the photographer eyes you and sae, “the shoot is over. well done” he bows, motioning the people behind the scenes to clap for you and sae

almost immediately you stood up from your awkward position from sae. intentionally avoiding his hand that was held out for you to take. (you hate how he was still a gentleman to you, even after all these years)

you look around for your manager and strut towards him.

“we’re leaving. now” you say with no emotion in your voice, even walking farther ahead from your now confused manager. 

he takes a look around on what could’ve made you pissed off but sees no one but itoshi sae in the flesh. 

“but y/n, itoshi sae is here-” your manager gets cut off when there was a loud slam of a door nearby. he winces when he realizes it was you. he turns around and bows his head at the people on set.

“i apologize for y/n’s actions” 

with that, your manager runs after you.

sae could only stare at your direction with mixed feelings. a part of him was relieved that he got to see you again after all these years, yet he doesn’t understand why he was feeling off to find out that you still resented him. i mean, that was what he expected for his own actions all those years ago.

with a click of a tongue, he goes back to his own manager so they can finally go home after a long day.

you don’t even know why you were crying. tears blurring your vision as you try to find the exit out of this damned building.

you harshly wipe your tears, opening the last door to your left. you were met with the harsh, cold air of japan. you weren’t looking where you were going, barely even noticing that someone was by the door til you bumped into them.

the steel floors were making it hard to walk in your heels. so when you bumped into the said stranger, you lost your balance. 

the stranger had quick reflexes. they immediately caught you by your waist and your hands flew to their chest to keep yourself steady. you looked up at the stranger to apologize only to meet eyes again with the same teal eyes that belonged to no one other than sae fucking itoshi

you don’t know how long you two have been in this position until you see a bright flash in your peripheral vision.

you have just been papped by paparazzi with your ex boyfriend and sworn enemy, itoshi sae.

002.

the headlines in both social media, news outlets and the such were exactly how you expected it.

it was crazy. 

the general public going wild, thinking that the once famed couple were now back together after how many years.

your phone was blowing up with emails upon emails. calls from friends and relatives to confirm the news themselves that you’ve been seeing sae again. you look at your manager beside you apologetically as he receives another phone call from what you think is another e-news outlet asking if the rumors circulating were true.

you have been summoned by your company for an emergency meeting as the whole situation was getting out of hand.

that was when you realize how big of a name itoshi sae was after all these years of blocking his name on twitter.

your PR team is currently a mess. they are currently working their asses off to put out a good story for your sudden reunion with the famed midfielder. 

“how many times do i have to tell you to be careful being papped after a shoot?” the head of your PR team, pinches the bridge of their nose. clearly this wasn’t the first time around 

“i was!” you defend yourself, “i didn’t even know it was him til i looked up..” you murmured

your manager facepalms at your response. how did you not know it was sae?

“so what i’m getting here..” the head puts their glasses on the table, “you didn’t “know” that it was the itoshi sae, your partner for this specific photoshoot, the famed midfielder of real madrid, itoshi sae?” they quote, looking at you like you just grew another head

you nod in content, “exactly” you grin, putting your thumbs up. in hopes it raises the mood. (it doesn’t, unfortunately)

“y/n, i hope you know this isn’t just something we can brush under the rug. this is not the same situation with yukimiya kenyu where you two were caught being cozy in his car” 

“yuki was literally just driving me home! and we’re close friends!” you defend yourself, yet again. 

“exactly! yukimiya is a close friend! while itoshi sae is not. that’s why this is such a big deal!”

you slump back to your seat. okay, maybe they were right. this was a lot harder to get around with especially since the public knows about your past relationship.

“luckily for you, we have talked things out with itoshi sae’s management,” it was your manager’s turn to talk. he stands up from the seat beside you and walks over to your PR team’s head. they exchange glances before nodding.

“we have come up with a way that this whole issue will be over soon” your manager starts. 

as if on cue, the doors of the meeting room suddenly open. you take a look on who could be entering this sacred room this late. surely it couldn’t be more of your PR team as they were all already present in the room. 

there stood with their hand still on the doorknob is no one other than sae, with his manager right behind him.

your jaw drops as you put two and two together.

you whipped your head towards your manager and the head of your PR team in both horror and disbelief.

no, it can’t be…

“you two will now be in an arranged relationship for the meanwhile. until your situation dies down” sae’s manager finishes, taking a seat next to sae, who took the seat next to you.

you could see your manager squeeze his eyes shut, knowing where this is going. you were about to have a fit right here right now.

“WHAT?!” you let out a loud scream. the whole floor probably heard you. 

sae also winces at how ear-piercing your scream was.

you abruptly stood up from your seat, snatching your purse from the table and stomped out of the meeting room. not forgetting to slam the door shut on the way out.

immediately you called up your two closest friends, reo and yukimiya to meet you at your apartment ASAP.

003.

“so you’re telling me– us,” yukimiya pauses, looking between you, who has mascara running down your cheeks and reo, who was busy rubbing circles on your back as he hands you another tissue for you to blow your nose on, “that you are going to be in an arranged relationship with your ex, itoshi sae.. am i getting that right?” yukimiya confirms, waiting for your response

you nod before blowing your nose and throwing the now used tissue on the rising pile of tissues behind you.

“this is the worst day of my fucking life” you cried out, reaching out to reo to cry on his shoulders.

“oh, y/n” reo sighs, pulling you into his embrace as you cry your eyes out. 

you pull away from reo’s embrace, “i mean, why him, why now?!” you rambled, words getting choked up.

both reo and yukimiya could only frown. after all, even with their power, money and status, there was nothing they could do to help with your situation.

your doorbell suddenly rings, catching all three of you in surprise. who could be at your door right now?

yukimiya took the initiative of opening the door, only to be met with the eyes of the itoshi sae. barely noticing your manager behind him.

sae raises his eyebrow at the man in front of him. who was he and why was he at your apartment?

“yukimiya-san! i didn’t know you were over..” your manager sheepishly greets yuki, trying to break the growing tension between him and sae.

“who’s out there, yuki?” you croak out, trying to take a peek at the door from reo’s shoulders.

“it’s me, y/n” you hear your manager call out. you look at reo in confusion. what was your manager doing here?

gradually, you slowly stood up from your kitchen island and walked over to your front door.

now, you just expected a scolding from your manager from your little fit back at the company, that’s why he was at your place or so you thought. what you didn’t expect that you’d see itoshi sae again but this time, in your own space.

“have you lost your fucking mind?” you shot a look at your manager, who only winces as a response. 

“y/n- i can explain-“

“i made him take me here” sae speaks up for the first time. you felt your breath hitched. it’s been so long since you last talked to him, let alone heard him speak. (you’ve done everything you can and blocked every single thing related to sae. that meant interviews, news articles, you name it, you had his name and everything blocked and muted)

sae invites himself inside your apartment with your manager following suit as you stand there at your front door, stunned. 

reo is equally as shocked as you are when he sees itoshi sae casually walk to your living room as if it was his. before reo could open his mouth to say something, you come running in, fuming.

“who the fuck told you you can come inside MY house” you spat. your attitude turning a whole 180. 

sae only raises an eyebrow at you. “our team” he casually says. he then looks at your manager and cocks his head towards your direction. like he was trying to get your manager to tell you something.

“what now?!” this time it was your manager’s turn to get yelled at by you. he winces again before checking for something in his ipad.

“since you um.. walked out at our meeting earlier today… both managements has come to terms that you and itoshi sae would be living together for the meantime”

silence fills the room, the entire apartment if we were being honest

your vision goes dark, the next thing you know and you black out.

as you slowly regain your consciousness, you hear some people talking. well, to you it sounded like they were slurring because you couldn’t really comprehend what they were saying. slowly, you open your eyes. the first person you see is a frantic reo who seemed to be fanning your face with yukimiya holding your hand

“where am i?” you grunt, feeling some dull ache on the back of your head and lower back. 

“you fainted” sae points out. staring at you who was on the ground. you sat up and stared at sae, wide eyed. “what the hell is he still doing here?!” you ask in distraught. you thought everything prior to this was all just a fever dream, or a nightmare as you’d like to call it

your manager, who was getting you a glass of water comes running to your aid. he crouches and tells you to drink up- to which you do.

“we were discussing your current situation with itoshi sae until you fainted… ” your manager starts, you choke on your water after hearing those words but thankfully didn’t start a coughing fit. you motioned your manager to continue so that you’d finally hear the end of this dreadful moment

your manager's eyes flicker between you and sae, “we’ve come up with an agreement that until the time being, itoshi sae would be living with you and you’d market yourselves as a couple. sae has already consented and agreed with the contract and your PR team as well…” he finishes, clutching his ipad close to his chest

reo, who was listening intently, felt like it was unfair for you to be in this type of situation regardless if it was an order from your company

“isn’t unfair for y/n though? she herself didn’t consent to this contract right? doesn’t this violate her own rights of code of ethics?” reo interferes, giving your manager a look. you look at reo and smiled. maybe you’ll ask him to contact the finest lawyers of japan that he knows after this

your manager was about to speak up but sae beat him to it.

“i was the one who suggested this whole setup, not their company. so technically, this isn’t “violating y/n’s rights of code of ethics” as it’s not even printed on a contract because simply, there is no contract” sae states, mocking reo’s tone of voice, giving him a side eye before turning his attention back to you. 

this time it was yukimiya who steps in. he turns to sae with his eyebrows raised. “isn’t there another way to get around this? not just by your means?” yukimiya pauses, pushing his glasses up, “i mean, why does it have to be like this where you’ll live with y/n for an issue that could be squashed with just a single article denying your relationship or involvement with y/n?”

sae sits up straight, staring yukimiya down with an icy stare. “this doesn’t concern you”

yukimiya and reo both stand up, “actually it does. y/n is our friend” reo hisses, glaring at the red head who merely just yawns and rolls his eyes.

was sae even taking this seriously? 

sae sighs, a bored expression on his face. “this is matters between me and y/n only”

finally having enough of his bullshit, you got up from the ground and walked in front of sae.

“what exactly are you planning, itoshi sae?” you narrow your eyes at him. this was the first time in years you’ve looked at him. you note how appearance wise, he hasn’t changed one bit. 

sae chuckles a bit, catching you by surprise. what’s so funny?

“drop the formalities, y/n. you know me better than everyone else in this room” he scoffs, eyeing you from head to toe.

sae won’t lie. he thinks you were still beautiful the day he left you. to him, you were always the prettiest in the room and from the way his heart raced after seeing you for the first time again in years, he knows himself that thought stayed the same.

he watches your eyes soften for a second before it goes back to your signature glare.

“actually, I don't,” you say dryly, crossing your arms. “so, tell me. what exactly are you gonna get out of this?” 

sae sighs. he doesn’t know himself either but he wasn’t just about to say that out loud. he doesn’t know what got into him all of a sudden. was it because he was curious about how you were doing? was he intrigued? did he somehow miss you all of a sudden because he saw you again?

a part of him always longed for you even after you two have gone your own separate ways. it was hard not to, considering you have spent a chunk of your lives together. not to mention, you two grew up with each other and built blossoming careers together hand in hand. 

it was only until he finally got recruited for division a of real madrid where he thought it would be best if you guys would stop what you have in order to be the best version of himself— wrong. 

he realized he fucked up that maybe that wasn’t the best option when he realized he needed you more than ever. you were his best support system. you were always there with him during the hardest times holding his hand but it was already too late. the damage had been done and it was irreversible. 

the day he broke up with you, or the day he fucked up everything was also the last time he ever saw or heard from you ever again. 

sae tried. he tried and tried and tried to reach out to you. he tried searching for your socials, your contact information, literally everything he can get his hands on. but even with his power and money in the world, it was still not enough to find you.

the only updates he had of you was the ads that were plastered all around social media and in the busy shopping districts of the cities he’s in. it was almost like a constant reminder of what he lost. 

so shocked was an understatement when you were his partner for the commercial shoot his manager had booked him for some random luxury brand. 

after all those years, he found you again.

to say the stars were on his side when you two got papped by the paparazzi is a bit selfish on sae’s end. as much as he fucking despises the paparazzi as they tend to ruin things for him, he’s quite glad that for once that they did something right.

they brought you back to him.

so sae couldn’t just let this opportunity of a lifetime slide. even if this so called “scandal” could easily just be cleared out with a simple denying of such rumor. but sae couldn’t just let this end like that. 

he wants to fix everything he broke. sae wants another chance.

“this is pointless” you deadpan, after waiting for sae to speak. he was just sitting there, staring right back at you for god knows how long that you begin to become conscious.

sae looked like he just snapped out of his train of thought as he shook his head before clearing his throat. 

“it’s a win-win situation for both of us” sae blurts, “you get more publicity out of this–”

yukimiya and reo both looked at him like he was crazy.

“excuse you— with or without you, y/n is already famous. hell, you don’t even know how many brands are waiting for her to reach back at them!”

“do you live under a rock or something? how do you not know y/n is one of the, if not the number one top model of the country?”

you were secretly thankful that you called both yukimiya and reo beforehand. not only you got an ego boost, but it gave sae a taste of your own reality that you are where you are now because he left you

a small smirk tugs on your lips when sae frowns. you watch him chew his bottom lip, a telltale sign that he was thinking of something to save his ass

“well, if you aren’t gonna get something out of this.. i have” you say, catching everyone’s attention, including your own manager.

your manager looks at you with his head tilted to the side. mouthing “what do you mean?”

“i’ll only agree to this if after this whole scandal is over, i don’t ever want to see you again” you propose to sae. it was only fair for it to end like this as one, he was the one who suggested this idea in the first place. two, you can never be too complacent with sae who apparently has no motive regarding this. this was sae we’re talking about, he’s bound to plot something and three, you can finally find the answers you’ve been yearning for after all these years. might as well use this as an opportunity to get your well deserved closure.

there was a glint of hope in sae’s eyes.

“deal”

you hear yukimiya and reo yell a bunch of lines like “seriously y/n?” but all you can focus on is sae who’s also looking right back at you.

your manager claps his hands in joy, immediately dialing your company about your decision. sae takes this time to call his own manager to probably tell him to bring his stuff in. 

did you make the right decision? you’re not too sure. only time can tell.

004. 

today was the first day of you officially “dating” sae again.

also the first day of living with sae, for the meantime

just a little after you’ve come to an agreement with sae with the set up of your rekindled “relationship”, both managements didn’t waste a single second on confirming the news that the nation’s sweethearts have gone back together

needless to say, both of your names are trending and is the current talk of the town

so your first agenda (from both PR teams) is that you both post strikingly similar instagram stories as if you were together the night prior. (in which, you two were.. force binded by a non-existent contract)

it was a good thing that you chose an apartment that had a spare guest room because god forbid you’d even dare to sleep in the same bed with your ex. 

you didn’t give sae a warning that you were already gonna post something. just a quick snap of your window, that holds the view of shibuya, with a little sunlight peeking through. you captioned it with a little “good morning indeed” with a cheeky emoji just to spice things up. 

sae, who was in the next room, was casually scrolling through instagram when he sees that you posted a new instagram story. he clicks his tongue in annoyance at the fact you didn’t even give him a heads up. quickly improvising, he took a mirror selfie from the vanity mirror that you have around in your guest bedroom. 

you started your day with making your own breakfast. not even bothering to call sae. hell, he can starve for all you care. after all, he was not your responsibility. you only agreed to do this because frankly you had no other choice from your company.

while waiting for your eggs, it didn’t take you a while to also notice that sae already posted his part of the agenda. thinking of it as nothing, you innocently clicked on his profile. his story loads and wow. resonating with your caption, good morning indeed!

sae posted a shirtless mirror selfie. he was still under the covers but made sure his torso was seen on the mirror. 

“take a screenshot, it’d last longer” sae says flatly, moving past you to your fridge. you jolt in surprise, almost dropping your phone in the process. “what the fuck!” you yell out, a hand over your chest. 

you hear sae chuckling behind you and the fridge opening

“you got all that money stocked up somewhere and yet you don’t even have groceries?” sae comments, noting your almost empty fridge. there were only some milk boxes and some of those edible collagen jellies that help you with swelling when you have early morning shoots and the such.

sae takes the last chocolate milk box you had that was hidden away at the back of your fridge

“well, my manager does it for me and i usually eat at reo’s or yukimiya’s– is that the last of my milk?!” you pried your eyes off your phone to see sae casually sipping on the last milk box you were saving

“so?”

“that’s mine” you argued, getting up from the kitchen island to snatch it from sae. you stomp over to him and tried to swipe it off his hands. unfortunately for you, sae is an athlete and that meant he had reflexes like no other. he raises his arm high just before you were able to grab the milk box from him.

“sae, give it back” you grit your teeth, standing on your tippy toes, trying or attempting to take the milk box from sae’s hold but the height difference is just something else. 

sae leans down and gets all over your face. “come on, you can do it,” he teases, eyes fixated on yours. 

this feeling almost felt too familiar. almost like a wave of nostalgia just hit you in the face. the memories you’ve been trying to suppress all coming back 

you snapped out of your little trance when you realized the position you two were in. 

“my eggs are burning” you lie, leaving sae dumbfounded. you scurry off to your stove to finish what you were cooking while sae goes and sits on your kitchen island. 

he watches you plate your breakfast and sit on the other end of the kitchen island. you actually felt him staring but chose to ignore him. the sound of his stomach grumbling breaks the awkward silence.

“where’s my breakfast?” he asks, voice small

you shrug, “i don’t know”

“you didn’t make me one?”

“why will i?” you raise a brow, happily munching on your bacon while sae could only look at you in disbelief.

later that day you two had your own schedules. he had practice and other stuff to do while you had another meeting about different commercial offers and a lunch date with reo and yukimiya just like you promised the two.

you got home later than sae. you were about to grab some water from the fridge when you notice that it was fully stocked with groceries. you can’t help but smile a little at the gesture. 

you did your usual night routine before getting comfy in bed. just before you were about to hit the hay, you don’t forget to send sae a quick message, thanking him for the groceries. 

[11:43] you: thanks for doing the groceries ig

[11:44] sae: i couldn’t just let myself starve here, can i?

you rolled your eyes at his reply. he’s still so sarcastic even after all these years

[11:45] you: whatever 🙄

[11:46] sae: i also restocked that milk you love so much. call it truce from earlier today

[11:46] you: who told you it was my favorite? 🤨

[11:47] sae: gut feeling, call it old habit

you raised a brow at his text. what did he mean by that? before you could type your reply, your phone notifies you that sae sent another message

[11:49] sae: jk. your manager told me

you didn’t realize you were holding in your breath. you let out a sigh of relief after reading his message. you were not gonna let him get under your skin. not anymore

you ended up not replying to him. instead, you shut your phone off to reflect on today’s events, hoping that this all ends soon. your phone suddenly dings again. it was a notification from sae.

[11:55] sae: i’m going to sleep now. goodnight, y/n

it’s officially been a week of living with sae and pretending to be a couple in front of the cameras and the public. to think you’d even last this long is an understandment on it’s own.  

for this day, both managements wanted you two to be seen out and about in public doing whatever you two wished to do. 

you were debating on what you two should do that won’t involve much physical contact like going out for shopping because that only meant that you two would be forced to hold hands which is something you don’t want to do for obvious reasons. you’d rather die than to be papped with sae holding hands

“what do you want to do today?” sae asks from the couch. you two were already all dressed up. intentionally matching your outits just for the sake of it. sae was wearing a maroon turtleneck with holes in them with a white long sleeve shirt underneath and some track pants? you don't question his outfit much further because why would you exert the effort to do so? 

you were wearing something similar. a maroon crop top with some leggings to match the laid back outfit of your fake boyfriend. 

“what can we do without much physical contact?” you pondered, a finger tapping on your chin. sae scoffs at your question, mumbling about what’s wrong with physical contact with him. you almost wanted to tell him “everything” but that would just start another argument today

“how about we get some coffee?” sae offers, unable to think of more activities to do in such short notice. you hum in agreement, coffee does sound good right now. you get up from the couch and grab the keys to your car

“what are you doing?” sae asked. you stop in your tracks and hold out your keys for him to see. “we’re taking my car” sae says, showing off his. 

not putting up much of a fight, you agreed. it was getting tiring driving yourself around anyway.

you two arrive at the coffee shop sae graciously let you choose in no time (by graciously, he meant that he’s good with anything you choose) you then decide on sitting by the window where you know the paparazzi will be in front at in no time to capture this date between rekindled lovers

you sit at your chosen table by the window while you wait for sae to order something for the both of you. telling him that you’re okay with whatever since this cafe was your favorite.

it didn’t take sae that long to come back with your orders. he sets the tray down and you find an abundance of sweets and pastries. you look up at him confused but he simply shrugs. he then places your drink down. you take the receipt that was hanging off the tray to read everything he has ordered.

looks like he ordered everything on the menu with the sweets and pastries, which is not surprising really. when you read what he got you however,

“you ordered me a spanish latte?” you ask, taking the drink from the table. 

sae nods, taking a sip from his own drink. “something wrong?” 

you shake your head no. you just can’t wrap your head at the fact he ordered your usual go-to drink.

“nothing, it’s just i'm surprised that you still remember what i usually order in coffee shops” you shrug, finally sipping on your drink. spanish lattes does always hit the spot for you

“do you think i have forgotten?” sae raises a brow, a slight frown forming on his lips. you rolled your eyes at his comment. 

“well, it’s been a while, don’t you think?” you retort, avoiding his hard stare. technically, it’s been almost two years since the breakup. one of you were bound to forget each other’s habits and the such. 

there was silence again after that. an awkward one at that

“let’s take our post now so we can leave” you say, taking pictures of the food in front of you while keeping sae in the frame. sae simply nods and does the same. the photo you decided to post was mostly all the food sae ordered with him in the background. you purposely cut off his head just for the thrill of it. you do tag sae in the instagram story though with the caption “coffee run” 

sae’s post was a bit different. he simply posted a candid shot of you taking pictures of the food in front of you. for captions, sae isn’t much of a caption person because he thinks they defeat the purpose of photos so instead he just adds a heart emoji with your username next to it. 

it didn’t take much for the paparazzi to find your whereabouts. just like planned, they were outside the window you two were seated in taking photos after photos. 

“do we go now?” sae asks, eyeing the amount of people that were outside the cafe. 

“yeah..” you trail off, not really expecting a whole crowd to form outside. sae must've sensed that you were tensed with the way he stands next to you when you two were leaving the coffee shop

the moment you two step foot outside, it was an absolute frenzy. the press were everywhere on your faces. asking questions from all sorts of directions that it actually made you dizzy. 

you were never one for crowded crowds. especially when they topple over each other just to take the perfect photo or get an exclusive. it was just never your cup of tea

you covered your eyes from the bright flashes that were all over your face, trying to maneuver around the paparazzi to get to sae’s car faster but the paparazzi was too much for you to handle. you instinctively leaned on sae for support as your legs start to feel wobbly. sae immediately catches on and wraps an arm around your waist securely, pushing forward against the hoarde of people in front of you guys

“get out of the fucking way!” sae barks, pushing the people in front of your faces. the group of paparazzi do make way for you guys as you finally reach sae’s car. 

sae unlocks the car and opens the passenger door for you to enter first. he shields any possible camera that was trying to capture your face with his body. even going as far as pushing them away making some of the paparazzi stumble and fall on their asses. 

once you were secured in your seat, he runs over to his side of the car and starts the car before speeding off. not wasting a single second for some short interview.

“you okay?” sae steals a glance at your slumped state, before turning his attention back to the road in front of him. 

“... yeah, just dizzy” you say meekly, rubbing your temples. “i’m gonna rest my eyes for a bit, sae” you murmur, leaning against the window before drifting off to sleep.  

sae sighs and speeds up faster so you two could get home sooner. ‘damn paparazzi’ he thinks to himself, not noticing how his knuckles have turned white with how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. 

the car comes to a halt when the traffic lights beam red. sae couldn’t help but look at your state. he always knew you were bad with crowds but yet you still fulfilled your lifelong dream to be a model. he wonders who took care of you during flash mobs when you were out in the streets. 

was it your manager? was it that reo guy? or was it yukimiya aka that person he doesn’t really like. sae hates how close you are with him. sae will also never forget your scandal with him. he can still remember it like it was yesterday when the news dropped that you may or may not be in a relationship with your fellow model yukimiya kenyu after being papped being cozy inside his car. 

practice was hell that day for real madrid and sae may or may not have punctured a soccer ball out of pure rage. 

the damned light finally turns green and thankfully you were at the last street before the turn to your apartment complex.

sae parks the car and turns to take a good look at your sleeping figure. you look too peaceful to wake up. so he gets out of the car and goes to your side to pick you up bridal style. 

he gently puts one of your arms around his neck (for safe measure) and loops his under your knees to carry you. with the help of the security guards around, he presses the elevator up to your penthouse suite. 

for once in his life, sae is thankful that he was an athlete as he successfully tapped in your passcode to unlock your front door with you in his arms. when he reaches your bedroom, he gently sets you down on your bed. 

sae was about to leave to make some dinner just before you wake up but was stopped by your hand reaching for his. 

“stay..” you mumbled, tugging his arm. sae hesitates for a bit, unsure if you were actually conscious or was just sleep talking. sae watches your eyebrows furrow when you notice he still wasn’t beside you. clicking your tongue in annoyance, you tug on sae’s arm harder so he gets the hint

“okay, okay” sae hums, slowly getting in your bed. he’s unsure himself on what he should do. should he stay still, wrap an arm around you, what?

to his surprise, you were snuggling next to him. your head nestling to his chest. sae lets out a small gasp. he definitely didn’t see this coming. 

coming to a realization that no harm would be done if he wraps an arm around you, he slowly drapes his arm over your waist. sae suddenly feels like he was on top of the world, like everything suddenly made sense to sae. 

sae caresses your cheek, brushing the stray hairs from your face. 

“you still look beautiful the day i lost you..” sae whispers. he debates on stealing a kiss. he weighs out the pros and the cons and figures that it was more of a liability if you ever find out he stole a kiss from you, especially when you were asleep. that’s gonna have to be for another time. 

sae was beginning to feel sleepy. he carefully drapes the duvet across your bodies. not even a moment later, sae is now fast asleep with you in his arms

you find yourself plush against something hard and warm. you try tossing to the other side but you were being held securely around your waist. your eyes shot up, now fully awake and aware of your surroundings.

“good morning” sae rasps, his morning voice sending shivers down your spine. 

“what are you doing in my bed?” you whisper-yelled, actually genuinely surprised to see him next to you. your heart was racing, like it was about to jump out of your chest. did something happened yesterday? you couldn’t quite remember everything after leaving the coffee shop. it almost felt like a hazy dream

sae reluctantly unwraps his arm around you and scoots to the edge of the bed. you almost pout at the warmth that disappears but you internally scold yourself for thinking of such things.

“you passed out in the car and i brought you here” sae explains, now sitting up. “i’ll go make breakfast. stay put” he pats your leg before excusing himself to leave your bedroom. you lay there confused because that wasn’t enough to explain why he was quite literally sleeping next to you. 

just the mere fact that you slept next to him sent you into a frenzy. you grab your phone and immediately dialed reo

“hello?” reo answers groggily, you checked your phone for the time and it was literally 8 in the morning. 

“reo!” you hushed, trying not to catch the attention of sae “something happened yesterday!” 

“what?”

“we slept together…?” your voice going up an octave, chewing on your lip as you await for reo’s reaction

a beat of silence passes by. you thought reo may have accidentally ended the call

“YOU DID WHAT?!” reo basically screams at your ear. you had to remove your phone from your ear from the impact of reo’s shrill scream. “DON’T TELL ME YOU GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM IN JUST A WEEK’S NOTICE—”

“NOT IN THAT WAY, DIPSHIT” you say abruptly, cutting reo off. “i mean like.. we just slept in the same bed after yesterday’s turn of events…” you trail off, trying to remember every significant detail that eventually lead up to you and sae ultimately sleeping with each other.

“my guess is with the paparazzi. i just saw the photos” reo says, typing away on his keyboard. “not gonna lie y/n, you and sae do make a good couple” he adds, giggling

you huff over the phone, earning a hefty laugh from the other end. 

“talk to him. clearly you need it” reo advices. it was like he knows where this was going. “ i gotta go for now, y/n. i’ll call you back later. duty calls. ciao!” reo ends the call before you could even say something. 

you threw your phone on the other side of the bed, groaning as you put your head in your hands. what was happening to you

there was a faint knock on your door, probably sae was gonna tell you that breakfast was ready but to your surprise, he brought the breakfast to you.. in bed.

sae walks in with a little bed tray that you didn’t even know you owned filled with some breakfast. 

“was all this necessary?” you say in disbelief. sae simply shrugs and sits by the foot of your bed.

“i contacted your manager about your state and he says he’ll be coming over to check up on you later” he notes, typing away on his phone with one hand. sae turns to you and motions for you to start digging in. “c’mon, eat up” 

you feel your face heat up at his extravagant gestures. he was a man of service after all. even during your relationship, sae wasn’t the type to be vocal about his love for you. it was mostly through actions may it be subtle or not. you can feel the love with the way he does everything for you.

with a small smile, you start to eat the breakfast he made. 

“sae,” you call. he looks up from his phone, a confused look on his face. 

“need something?”

“come here” you motioned for him to scoot closer to you. to which he happily obliges. he is now sitting right in front of you. 

he watches you cut a piece of your pancake and stabbed it with your fork before holding it up for him.

“here,” you say sheepishly, not even looking at sae in the eye. sae looked at you like you just lost your mind. 

“can’t let you not eat your own cooking..” you mumbled, feeling your face burn in both embarrassment or something you can’t pinpoint. with a chuckle, he takes the fork from you. unintentionally brushing your hands together.

in an instant, you snatch your hand back as he quietly eats the pancake you’ve given him.

things are changing between you and sae and you’re not sure if you like it.

005.

it’s been a few days since the whole ordeal with you and sae in bed together. your management gave you guys a few days off just to keep things at bay with the paparazzi after the whole fiasco of you almost fainting because of the sea of paparazzi outside trying to take photos. 

your manager did end up checking up on you that day just like sae has mentioned. you told him off that you were fine and just needed more resting before you can resume with your work. he reluctantly agrees and goes ahead and reports your status with your company.

reo and yukimiya also came over for the past few days. just to check things up with you after your pictures were published for the public. you had a talk with your two closest friends about your current situation with sae. 

yukimiya was a bit unsure for you while reo advised that they’ll be there with you for every decision you make. he also opted that you two should have an open forum about each other’s whereabouts since the break up. clearly you still had unanswered questions.

sae was out again for his daily practice. although he did tell you that he’d be back around the afternoon. 

you take this opportunity of being alone to actually think about everything for the past week. 

this few weeks has been a whole rollercoaster. not only you’ve been reunited with your ex, you had to be in a “fake” relationship with him again for the media, and now it’s like you and sae were back to your old routines all those years ago. 

a part of you does miss being able to call sae as yours, not just for the sake of the cameras but just because you really do love him and you want to be with him, but this time for real. yet, another part of you is scared that maybe there’s a catch to this. maybe in the end sae was just using you for his own sake. 

you made a promise to yourself that you were not gonna have him play with your heart like that anymore. not again, never again.

but here you are, willing to take the same risk again. the things you are willing to do just to call him yours. 

because at the end of the day, it will always be itoshi sae.

no one else has your heart the way sae has it. 

you barely notice that sae has arrived back from practice til he was waving a hand in front of your face.

“y/n” he jabs a finger at the side of your head, an amused look on his face. “what are you thinking about?” sae hums, plopping down on the couch next to you. 

“nothing much, just about life”you hissed, clutching the spot he just poked you. you leaned back on the couch, stealing a glance at sae but you made eye contact instead. immediately you looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up.

sae snickers next to you, a small smile on his face as he takes a good look at you. 

“having a midlife crisis at your young age?” sae pokes your sides making you jump. you let out a little yelp, causing sae to smirk. 

“don’t even think about it sae itoshi— AH!” you hold your hands out in defense mode. you know that devilish look on sae’s face. sae’s fingers reach your sides before you could even finish your menacing (not) threat. 

your laughter fills the living room. 

oh how sae missed this. how he missed coming home from practice and to have you wait for him. how sae missed you.

sae stops tickling you to let you catch your breath. barely even noticing the position you two were in. he was on top of you, hands on each side of your head. your cheeks painted red, chest rising rapidly as you try to control your breathing. 

“can i kiss–” 

the front door slams open to reveal reo and yukimiya in tow with some food.

“y/n! we brought you some food!” reo happily chirps, setting the food down on your kitchen counter. sae’s eyes immediately widen and rushes to get off of you. he stumbles and falls on the floor, just right in front of reo’s feet.

reo and sae make eye contact. reo awkwardly smiles at the now embarrassed sae.

but sae being sae, he brushed it off like he was in the middle of push ups. 

“... and 50. 50 push ups done” sae puffs, pushing himself off the ground, pretending to wipe the non existent sweat on his forehead and ushers away to his room. not missing reo’s comment before he slams the door shut.

“i’m gonna just pretend i didn’t see you fall right in front of me” reo cackles, wiping a tear from his eye. “anyway y/n, we got you some food. i forgot that athlete was living with you sooo.. it’s up to you to give his share” reo shows you the amount of food he just got you.

yukimiya giggles behind him. he pulls reo to the side before giving you his infamous smirk

“reo, we gotta go now” yukimiya smiles slyly at you. he takes a good look at your ruffled shirt, flushed cheeks and messy hair. 

“what? we just got here!” reo complains, looking back at yukimiya, who points out your current state. he then whispers something to reo that you obviously can’t hear. you stand there with your arms crossed, eyebrows raised as you wait for your two best friends to fill you in

“i’m literally right here” you rolled your eyes.

“oh!” reo gasps, eyes wide as he seems to put two and two together. he covers his mouth like he just witnessed something scandalous. 

you were about to open your mouth to say protest against what allegations yukimiya has of you but both reo and yukimiya bolt out the door. yelling about how they were sorry for disturbing something while cackling. 

“those bitches..” you muttered, shaking your head. you walk over to the kitchen to go through what reo just got you. of course it was his favorite steak with some side dishes. 

“are they gone?” you hear sae call out from his room, his head poking out the door. 

you laugh, “yeah. you can come out now” 

you hear the door open and sae comes walking in the kitchen with nothing but sweatpants. you let out a squeak as your hands fly to your eyes, covering them from seeing sae’s half naked body.

sae scoffs at your reaction. “you’re acting like you aren’t used to it”

“was used to it” you correct him. sae’s mood drops a bit. you awkwardly fiddle with the hem of the plastic. taking out the plastic containers to at least lift up the now sour atmosphere. 

sae looks at the meals you’ve settled down on the counter. “from reo?” he asks, going ahead and taking out some chopsticks. 

he must be starving from coming home after practice.

you slid the plastic container that held reo’s favorite steak to sae. his eye widens and shakes his head. he pushes it back to you. it becomes a silent tug of war. sae ended up losing because you were starting to get upset and he can tell by the way your lips are jutted out and you were pushing harder, causing some of the sauce to spill out.

“okay, damn..” sae mutters, accepting his defeat. you let out a victory cheer by dancing a little in your seat. sae couldn’t help but smile. now here you were, watching him chomp down the food reo initially got for you.

“let’s head out somewhere” sae says, poking you with his chopsticks. you swat his hands away as you scowl at him. going out all of a sudden after he just ate?

“where are we going?”

“places” 

you look up at him unsure. you didn’t really want to go anywhere this week knowing that paparazzi might be up on your asses again. you weren’t gonna risk your health again for just some dumb post

“but we’re on break with posting though” you protest. was sae really serious about heading out? 

sae pouts and looks at you with pleading eyes. something he only pulls when he really wants to do something or get his way. something you couldn’t resist. you guessed old habits really die hard

“please?” 

you avert your gaze elsewhere because those teal eyes are only trouble for you. you hear sae sigh beside you and you realized that was your last straw.

“fine”

you look back at sae who had a small smile on his face. his face screaming “i know you still can’t resist me” and quite frankly you wanted to punch the living daylights out of his smug face. 

“i’m not gonna get dressed up or anything though. just a hoodie and a hat to keep our identities hidden” you say, getting up from the barstool to head over to your room to get an oversized hoodie and your hat.

“wasn’t counting on it” sae says, humming to himself that he got you to agree.

it didn’t take long for you guys to get moving. you two were now on your way to wherever sae was taking you. even if you kept asking where you two were going, sae simply shushes you and tells you to just sit back and relax

you were leaning towards the window, watching the city skies fade as you two drive aimlessly around the city. your phone connected to his aux, softly playing some tunes in the background.

your eyes peer over to sae who had one hand on the steering wheel, while the other was used to prop himself up against the window. you find yourself smiling at the memories going back to you. 

the old late night drives with sae just to clear your minds. 

the route sae was taking you felt awfully familiar. you sit up straight and looked outside to see that you were going up a familiar hill. you snap your head towards sae. sae catches your stare and winks at your direction.

the car eventually comes to a stop. sae silently turns off the car and gets out with you following behind him. there you realize where he took you. sae took you back to your favorite spot to get away from it all. the hilltop where you can get a whole view of the ever so busy city of shibuya. 

the same place sae asked you to be his,

the same place sae broke things off with you,

“what are we doing here, sae?” you ask, sitting on top of the hood of his car. sae follows suit. he sits next to you, observing the view in front of him.

“to unwind” he says flatly, putting his hood on. you can’t help but look at him. what did he mean by that?

“you looked pretty occupied today, so i just thought i’d bring you here-”

you furrowed your brows, “then why here?”

sae stays silent. the sound of the city filling your ears. you can’t help but think that it was now or never. it was the perfect time to get things across. for your own peace of mind, and for the sake of it all. 

it was silent between you and sae all of a sudden. you almost wanted to laugh at how ironic it is that you’d end up in this place again for the third time in a row with the same person. 

‘how nostalgic’ you think to yourself. you get up from the hood of the car and walked towards the wooden fence. just to get a clearer view and to get some air that you so desperately needed before talking to sae. 

“you know, this reminds me of the time you took me up here for the first time,” you start, kicking the rocks just by your feet. sae’s ears perk up at the sudden mention of the memory.

“i was so happy that day. to think we’d last for over five years. i was the happiest when i was with you, sae” you continued, smiling to yourself as you recalled everything.

sae can’t help but feel there’s more to what you’re saying. he can’t help but anticipate the bomb that you were about to drop.

“til one day, you brought me out here again. this time, to break up” you turn around to face sae who had an expression you can’t comprehend. his hands were stuffed inside the pockets of his hoodie

“you broke me that day, sae” you breathe out, looking up at the moon. “and to think not even two weeks later i see you with someone else” you let out a laugh. to sae it sounded forced. 

“i hate you, sae itoshi” you finally look at him again, sae averts from your hard gaze. 

“i hate how you took all my firsts, i hate how you talk to me with that voice, i hate how i know your morning routine better than anyone else, i hate how you always opt to cook because you know i suck at cooking, i hate how you know me like the back of your hand..” you list off, with every list you say, you take a step forward. 

“i hate how even after all these years, even after you hurt me, even how you broke me to pieces, i hate how i can’t ever find myself to hate you” you finish. a teardrop running down your cheeks. 

“i hate how i still love you..” your voice was shaky. your hands were trembling, here you were, confessing your heart to the guy who initially broke it. 

you broke your promise to yourself. 

with a deep sigh, you fixed your composure. you harshly wipe the tears that were running down your cheeks before turning your back on sae again to face the city you live in. 

“i just have a question for you, sae…” you take a deep breath. finally. you were gonna get the answers to your questions. those times you’ve doubted yourself, those sleepless nights wondering where it all went wrong, nights where you ask yourself if you were ever enough for sae.. 

you were finally gonna get your well deserved answers. 

“why? what did i do wrong? was i not enough for you?” 

sae silently moves towards you. he pulls your head to his chest where you freely the tears fall. 

you push him off of you, you were not gonna let yourself be fooled much longer.  

“was it worth it, sae? was throwing away our years together worth it?” you seethed, tears pricking your eyes.

sae’s eyes widened, “i–”

“you know sae, even if i was in a room with all the people i love the most. i’d still choose you and you all over again. i will always choose you, sae” you cut him off, trembling. words shaking as you are basically spilling your heart to the guy who broke it into a million pieces.

sae’s heart breaks at the scene before him. it was too late for him to realize the damage he has done to you. for you to act like this.

“that’s why i agreed to be in this fake relationship with you. i wanted to find out why you did this to me, to us” you admit, tears now fully flowing. “i just..” you weren’t able to finish what you were trying to sae as you sob in front of sae.

“why sae?.. just, why?”

you barely notice sae approaching. the next thing you knew, he pulls your head to his chest. 

“shh… let it out” he says, his free arm rubbing your back as you cry your heart out. finally, after all those years, it felt good to release everything. like a million bricks has been lifted off your shoulders. 

sae pulls away, cupping your cheeks as he wipes the tears pouring down your cheeks with his thumb. his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips. 

“don’t look at me like that, sae..” you say in a low voice, almost like a whisper. peering away from sae’s eyes. 

sae slowly leans in and before he knows it his lips are just ghosting over yours. without a second, sae smashes your lips together.

your eyes widened. you wanted to push him away. you put your hands on his chest ready to push him away, but something in you is stopping you from doing so. 

how you missed this. how you missed sae

how sae missed this. how sae missed you

you pull apart, catching your breath. you look up at sae to see him crying too. he cups your cheeks, caressing them with his thumb.

“i’m sorry” was all he could say. he puts his forehead against yours, teal eyes fixated on yours. you can tell with his eyes that he was sincere. sae was also shaking as he holds you, his whole body language screaming guilt.

“i was young and stupid. i thought i’d be better off without you but i realized that i wasn’t. it was too late by then.” he explains, looking down at your feet instead of meeting your eyes.

you put your hand over his, squeezing them. relishing in the moment of two ex lovers putting the past behind them.

“i tried reaching out for you, you know?” sae brings up, laughing to himself at how stupid he sounded. “but knowing you, i knew you’d probably act like you never existed. i had to find out the hard way” he scoffs at the end. 

“eventually, the stars brought me to you again” sae finally looks at you in the eye. “i took that as a chance to try and redeem myself. i think it failed though,” sae admits sheepishly, “i was persistent. i wanted you back and i did everything i can just to keep you with me” 

you listen to sae stumble with his words. he’s trying. he’s actually proving that he was genuinely sorry for everything.

“i never stopped loving you, y/n” sae admits with a sad smile, “i never did” 

you tear up again at his confession. because frankly, you were the same. 

sae opens his mouth to say something but instead, you crash your lips against his. sae doesn’t move for a second but relaxes as soon as he realizes what was going on. he instantly wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close as he can. 

“i love you,” 

“i love you too,”

you two find yourselves basking under the moonlight once again. fixing and treating each other’s wounds as you two try again. this time you two are sure that whatever you two have planned for each other, you two will make it right. 

006.

the sound of an alarm blaring through the room wakes you up from your sleep. you feel some shuffling behind you and suddenly the room turns quiet again.

“did i wake you?” you hear sae’s morning voice ring through your ears, sending a shiver down your spine. you let out a small whine, nodding your head yes. 

sae chuckles, and tightens his hold around your body under the covers. “good morning to you too, baby” he kisses your cheek. 

you open one eye before twisting your body around to face him. 

“morning..” you yawn, leaving a trail of kisses from his jaw to his adam’s apple.

“still didn’t get enough from last night, hm?” sae teases, rubbing circles on your hips. you feel your cheeks heat up. you slapped his chest before turning your back on him again. 

“our managers will kill us if we’re late” you remind him of your schedules for the day. you sit up, slipping on his shirt that was lying on the floor, recalling last night’s events. you looked at yourself from the mirror to see some love bites all over your neck up to your chest. a gentle reminder that you were now his again.

“they can wait,” sae murmurs, slipping his hands under your (his) shirt. you let out a giggle before pushing his hands off of you. 

“sae come on!” you tug on his arm as you two head out to your bathroom. 

after what seems like an hour or so due to sae’s rowdy hands. you two finally arrive at the red carpet of the luxury brand you two have modeled for. 

the screams of fans fills your ears as you wait in of the car and onto the red carpet where a line of reporters were waiting. 

sae, being the gentleman he is and a marketing genius, he obviously makes a scene for your entrances. he gets out of the car first and holds out his hand for you to take. the audience goes crazy as you two make your entrance. 

“sae, y/n! over here!” you hear a bunch of reporters yell out. lights, and flashes all around. 

you and sae stop at the first reporter on the line. he greets you guys with a smile before starting his short interview. it was the usual questions about the brand and you guys feel about being the new faces of it.

“well, clearly they have a good eye for casting both y/n and i as the new faces for their brand” sae answers for the both of you, his arm wrapped securely around your waist. 

the interviewer gushes at how cool his answer was and proceeds to ask you another question.

“my, my, my, miss y/n. you look lovely as usual but i can’t help but wonder, what does it feel like to be back together with sae itoshi?” he asks, intrigued, his microphone on your face. 

you look at sae for approval and he simply smiles and motions for you to say whatever you want to say. 

“well, it still shocks me til this day that i got back together with sae” you joked, making the interviewer laugh at your response and sae who fakes being offended. you laugh at his reaction before answering seriously, 

“but seriously. i guess it’s true that if it’s meant to be, it will be” you smile, showing off sae in front of the camera to which the interviewer loves.

“what an answer from, y/n! well you heard it here first folks!” the interviewer beams in front of the camera, “i wish you two never ending happiness. thank you for letting me interview you guys!” he waves off, finding another celebrity to interview. 

you and sae both smile and wave him goodbye as you two continue along the red carpet.

“do you really mean that?” you hear sae ask beside you. he was busy waving for the cameras. you let out a little giggle before waving around for the paparazzi and cameras around. 

“mean what?”

“what you said about if it’s meant to be, it will be” he quotes you, tucking a stray hair behind your ear sending the audience and the paparazzi in a frenzy again. 

“it happened to us, didn’t it?” you smile, motioning to your current situation. 

sae was yours again, and you are his. 

just how it should be. 

bonus!

you didn't consider how awkward it actually was to be working on another modeling gig with your boyfriend.

especially when the poses instructed by the photographer and way too intimate to be imitated in a semi-public setting for your liking.

“what are you being stiff for?” sae holds in his laugh, seeing how motionless your poses are with him. “it’s awkward when theres people around..” you say through gritted teeth, praying to the gods that this shoot will finally be over

“it’s not this awkward when we do this alone though..” sae seductively whispers, lowering his head just right at the shell of your ear.

the photographer squeals in joy at the amount of shots he got from that pose alone.

you feel your face burn up in embarrassment.

“sae!” 

[goatcheesecak3]

How about Adam x reader who were dating before the trap, maybe got into a fight, but Adam lives because that’s definitely what happened and they find each other.

Also ur NSFW hcs were good so feel free to sprinkle some spice if you see fit :)

Lost and found

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x gn!reader

Fic type: angst, fluff

Warnings: missing person, medically induced coma

A/n: hello!! Thank you for your request, it was such a cute idea!! There's no nsfw because I couldn't find a way for it to fit into this story, but while we're on the topic I just wanna give a message to anyone who saw my Adam nsfw hcs!! I originally posted the unfinished version by accident, but I've gone back and added more to them since! So make sure you're all caught up on those, in my very biased opinion they're extremely canon teehee :^) all can be found in my masterlist as usual

You and Adam had dated for two years before finally ending it about a month ago. The relationship was tumultuous to say the least, epic highs followed by epic lows. Being with Adam could be so wonderful at times, the way he kissed you like you were the only person in the world, the way he would have you folded in on yourself laughing. Your memory was filled with long nights spent talking and falling deeper and deeper in love. Adam was good with his words, which was a blessing and a curse- he could make your heart flutter just as easily as he could crush it. Arguments were frequent, and volatile, he always took things too far. Deciding that this was no way to live, with heavy hearts, the two of you called it quits.

You'd heard around from mutual acquaintances that he'd gotten into a pretty rough spot after the breakup, apparently he'd become some kind of stalker for hire? Like a private investigator but with absolutely no credentials or regard for his or anyone else's safety. It didn't exactly surprise you that he'd gone into a somewhat shady line of work, considering his lack of high school diploma there weren't really many options for him, you wished you could help, but you'd both agreed to keep your distance and move on.

One day however, you couldn't help but break the promise you'd made to yourself, and you asked about him. You'd run into his best friend, Scott at a video store, and despite all your restraint, the words tumbled out of your mouth:

"How's Adam been lately?"

"Pfft how should I know? I haven't spoken to that asshole since he totally bailed on my band photoshoot" Scott scoffed, rolling his eyes disinterestedly.

It wasn't like Adam to turn down paid work of any kind, so you decided to pry deeper,

"What do you mean? He just didn't show up?"

"Yeah, no call, no nothing. He hasn't spoken to anyone. Probably thinks he's too good for me and the guys now with his investigator bullshit, but lemme tell y-"

"Wait, he's actually doing that?! That's so dangerous, you don't think he's gotten himself into trouble do you?"

"I don't know, I got my own shit to worry about. Besides, no one bails on me and gets my sympathy. Scott Tibbs don't chase, baby." He said, all too loudly. You could practically see his ego bulging out of his head.

As you left the video store, the interaction played on your mind. After you and Adam had broken up, Scott was pretty much the only person in his life, and he didn't seem to give two hoots about Adam's wellbeing. Essentially, there wasn't a single person on earth who'd heard anything from Adam in the last week, and no one seemed to be trying to find him. You knew his family were estranged, and pretty much everyone else in his life were all acquaintances at best. If he was in trouble, it was up to you to help.

You headed to his apartment, just to see if he was home. Best case scenario he was, and you got some of your cds back, worst case.. well, you didn't wanna think about that.

You crept up the creaky mildewy staircase of his apartment complex until you reached his floor. Something in your gut felt wrong as you got closer to his door, something that you couldn't quite understand. It wasn't fear, it was overwhelming dread. You always thought there was a big difference between those two feelings; fear was wondering if something bad would happen, and dread was knowing in your heart that it would.

You knocked on his door and waited a beat. Nothing. For whatever reason, a voice in your head told you to try the door handle, and to your surprise, it was unlocked. Adam's apartment looked frozen in time, a half eaten bowl of mouldy noodles sat on his coffee table, an empty beer bottle next to it. Everything looked untouched. That was until your eyes made their way to the floor next to his closet- his camera. Smashed to pieces, and left strewn all over the floor. Your eyes darted up toward his redroom, which appeared to have been ransacked.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. You repeated over and over in your head like a mantra.

Your first thought was that someone he'd been stalking had caught him, followed him home to destroy any damning evidence, then deal with Adam.

Panic set in at this moment, as you rushed through his apartment, desperately hoping he was just passed out somewhere.

"Adam?! Adam?!" You cried out, to no avail.

Of course, the second you had regained enough composure to remember to do so, you called the police and filed a missing person's report. The next few days were filled with police interviews, cutting out and sticking the few pictures of Adam you had onto missing person's posters and plastering them all over the city. You handed them out to anyone who would take them, you gave them to all the venues and corner shops that Adam often went to, and you hounded the police relentlessly.

Sure, Adam was your ex, but my god how you had loved him, how you still loved him. You were the only person in his life who loved him, and you refused to give up.

After 6 never ending days, your phone rang. It was a call from the police.

"We've found a young man fitting Adam's description on the outskirts of the city. He's currently in the hospital in a medically induced coma while the staff tend to his injuries. As he is unable to identify himself at this time, we would greatly appreciate it if you could come down and identify him for us" the voice from the phone said.

This was like music to your ears, you tried not to get your hopes up, but you just knew it was him. It had to be, you could feel it in your heart.

As you stood by the bed of the man, you fell to your knees and wept. He was far skinner, his skin pale and almost translucent, his hair tangled and dirty- but there was no doubt about it, that was your Adam.

"That's him! That's my baby! Oh my god, that's my Adam!" You sobbed, clutching into the police office for support. He looked happy for you.

...

After a few days, Adam woke up. He was by no means in good shape, but he was alert, he was safe, and he was asking for you. He'd had to speak to police before he could have any visitors, but they'd assured him that you had done a great deal to help them find him, and he was touched.

"I thought I was gonna die in that room.."

"You probably would have, if y/n hadn't tried to find you"

"No one else reported me?"

The cop shook his head solemnly.

"Damn... I gotta see her, i- I gotta thank her,  i-"

He rambled like this for a while, until he was assured that you were able to come visit him.

...

"Hey, sugar" Adam smiled cockily, despite how weak he was.

You approached the chair next to his bed and reached down to stroke his face lovingly.

"That didn't sound very ex boyfriend of you" You teased.

"Aw come onnnn, I nearly die and you still don't want me back?" He whined, giving you a playful pout.

You chuckled and kissed his forehead,

"I basically saved your life, don't get greedy"

Adam's eyes narrowed, and he looked uncertain, "wait.. are you saying you actually don't wanna get back together?"

You rolled your eyes and pinched his cheek,

"Of course not dummy, I just like watching you squirm"

Adam mustered all of his strength to lift his arms and place his hands on your cheeks, pulling your face towards his.

"You're such a bitch" he mumbled against your lips with a smile

"You're a bitch" you giggled back.

The playful teasing went on for a while, until you were sat in a love filled silence, just holding eachother's hands. Adam was the first to break the silence.

"I'm a changed man, you know, y/n"

"Huh?"

"While I was in that room, you were all I could think about. I kept thinking about all the times I hurt you and I knew I needed to make it right. I made a vow to myself that i was gonna get out of there, and I was gonna get you back... and I was gonna love you the way you deserve to be loved. I'm gonna do that, y/n. I'm gonna prove I deserve to be with you, even if it takes a lifetime... which it probably will now that you basically saved my life"

"Yeah, it's gonna be pretty difficult to level that playing field" you smiled jokingly.

"I mean it, y/n," Adam said, his voice serious, "I promise I'm going to devote the rest of my life to loving you, it's the least I could do".

And several happy years later, he's kept that promise.

[fairestwriting]

*KICKS YOUR DOOR DOWN*

IT'S 8 AM AND I HAVENT SLEPT. I FOUND THE WORD DOCUMENT SO HERE HAVE THE FIRST ONE IT'S THE SIMPLEST ONE I'VE GOT I'M GOING TO BED

Maybe Vil finding out MC is basically his equal in their world? A famous actor/actress, model, makeup artist, etc? Maybe they're super casual in this world so it's not obvious until it gets bright up what they did in their world?

MAYBE i am really simple maybe i will see a vil request and black out and go crazy.......anon please go to bed at regular times (<- guy who does not do this either)

Vil Schoenheit

He's not completely clueless, he does put in the effort to keep up with trends after all-- But it's exactly because of this that he ends up not really recognizing you.

The entertainment industry has no shortage of people, and in the end, Vil is still only human, no matter how much of an eye for detail he has. It's hard to remember other artists' names.

He does get a feeling that he might have seen you before, but he can't really figure out where. It sort of gets on his nerves for a bit. If you pay attention you can catch on to this hint of odd curiosity every time you talk to each other.

There's no way he misses your charisma, either. Still assuming you're not in the position you actually are, Vil is genuinely surprised at how good you are at dealing with people. Even when you seem tired or out of it, you still keep a smile on your face and a pleasant tone to your voice.

Of course, though, he'll still be stern sometimes, even as you grow closer. Maybe he ends up even being a little bit harsher than usual because he sees all that potential in you. At the same time, though, he's a lot more gentle outside of things like school projects. If you show that you know a thing or two about fashion or performing, he's absolutely willing to discuss.

Then, he eventually finds out. Maybe he stumbles upon one of your posts in social media. Maybe you straight up run into each other when he's doing a photoshoot. Later he'll think he should have seen this coming, but in the moment, you're getting the privilege of being one of the few people who really shocked this man.

He'll keep it together if you're both in public, but the second you're not, he's kind of a mess? He doesn't want it to show, but obviously now there's this whole new concern about your relationship hurting his or your career, and wondering if anyone's seen you two together already, and just how the hell did you fly under the radar for so long, he's not mad, he just really needs to know--

Of course, you talk, calm down, and it works out. And deep down, he's happy about being with someone who can really understand the specific struggles he goes through, besides being able to trade work tips and share stories. It feels comfortable.

Honestly though? He's not getting over how you just did that. He's too proud to say it, but he's forever baffled at how insanely good you are at blending. Sometimes you catch him staring. Mostly it's just out of fondness. Other times he's trying to figure out how to pull off your totally-not-a-celebrity aura so he can go to the mall in peace.

if you wanna support my work, you can buy me a ko-fi or commission me!

[baby-yongbok]

That new photoshoot of Minho's arms and sides showing...

Clothes? Yeeted somewhere that can't be found!

Bra? What's that!

Panties? Torn!

I want to cover him in do many bite marks! I wanna overstimulat his pretty dick to the point he cries!

I don't even know if I need him to dominate me more I want to dominate him...

Help!

Yes, yes and more Yes, Minho's God of Love Gucci shoot for W Korea has been burning a hole in my brain ever since the first pictures dropped. I've been sitting on this request but since I'm seeing some more of his W Korea content I felt inspired. ❤️

God Of Love

Genre: Smut Word Count: 616 ✨️Masterlist✨️

He was chosen to portray the God of love for a reason. Minho makes you feel outside of yourself in the most intoxicating way possible. He knew the second that you saw the photo proofs that you'd want him. Want to dominate him, submit to him, fuck him. He knew. 

As soon as you sat on his lap when he got home, the photos from the shoot still open on your laptop because you just couldn't look away, he knew he had you exactly where he hoped to get you.

 He doesn't care how expensive your panties are or that they're your favorite. They're in his hand, torn at the sides and thrown across the room in an instant. The clasps to your bra are bent and broken after he's ripped it off of you. He's feeling powerful, hungry, Godly. 

Your moans as you grind against him are driving him wild as he growls for you under his breath, he's desperate to feel you. He has to feel you, so he does. He slips right into you with his pants around his ankles. Fucking up into you as you bite at the delicate skin of his neck, leaving red and purple marks that he'll have to cover later. He comes quicker than he'd like but you are far from done. Now you're hungry, desperate, insatiable. His Goddess. 

You grind into him as he claws at your hips, both begging for more and less. It hurts so good, he feels so much yet he wants so much more. It's his turn to moan your name. It's his turn to be putty in your hands as you work your wet cunt up and down his length. Your orgasm washes over you in a burst of delicious heat but you're just getting started. 

He picks you up, carrying you to the nearest wall and pressing your back against it. Your cunt stays wrapped around him as he strips himself of his shirt and steps out of his pants leaving him in his sheer nakedness, without missing a beat he begins drilling into you. Pinning your wrists to the wall behind you and keeping you up with his strong thighs. Whimpers fall from the both of you as the overstimulation burns your nerves. You feel like you're on fire together, euphoria sparkles around you as the sound of skin slapping and desperate pornographic moans fill the air. 

“Greedy, kitty just needs my cock, huh?” He sneaks sentences in between whimpers and groans. His lips find yours in a hungry passionate kiss, the temperature rises around the two of you as you reach your second climax. You writhe and squirm against the cool wall, Minho moves his grip to your waist to keep you stable as he nears his second orgasm as well. 

“Min, oh my god.” 

“That's it baby, call out my name like that, let me hear you.”

“Min -”

“Not that one, come on kitty.”

“Fuck fuck fuck, my God you feel so good.”

Minho reaches his climax shortly after your desperate profession. Shooting into you yet again and filling you up to the brim. He can't help but to keep fucking you, too fucked out and dazed to risk leaving you empty. He wanted to feel you. Needed to. He ruts into you just as desperate as he did before, his eyebrows are furrowed and his bottom lip is pulled between his teeth as he keeps his eyes on yours, gazing into your soul and fucking you on every level that he can. His name falls from your lips like a prayer as he fills you, why would it not? He is the God of Love after all.

(Unedited)

[chouxsardine]

Coming back to me---Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: You miss him terribly, you wish he were here. Unexpectedly, there he is---Jake walking on you masturbating and you spill some more.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 4082

Warnings: 18+! Minors DNI, female masturbation, unprotected penetrative p in v sex, explicit use of derogatory terms, sexual fantasy, allusion of exhibitionism, implict soft dom!Jake, guitar worship(??) (you can already tell it's a lot and I'm going to hell for this...let me know if I've missed any)

Genre: smut, slight angst with agonizingly sweet fluff, slight hurt/comfort, agonizingly romantic Jake

Author's note: This is my second try on writing smut. I tried to be a lot bolder this time. I want this to be sweet and spicy and damn it is enjoyable and torturing for me to write. What an experience. I intend to dig further into this, so let's consider this as Part 1 of improper guitar use fantasy (more on it's way) I really really hope you enjoy this. If you want a visual for the short film mentioned, （which is also 18+!! you don't need it to enjoy the story but it's a very interesting piece) here's the link to that scene: Amante Menguante (or watch its full version in Talk to Her (2002), 1:1:01-1:1:06); That's all--Dig in :))

🎧: Baby’s Coming Back to Me by Jarvis Cocker; Homesick by Sleeping At Last

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It wasn’t the film that turns you on; it’s him—it’s always him. The film only provides you with the idea.

It was a Friday afternoon, and you are mostly certain that you are going to spend the weekend alone again. Jake is out of town for a photoshoot and an interview for some magazine afterward. The time is too tight for a roundtrip back home. You clicked on a random movie to put on as background noise. It’s Talk to Her, which you have seen a long time ago and only have a vague memory of. You do remember there’s a nice song in it.

What you didn’t remember is the mise en abyme in its latter half, and you also certainly didn’t expect you to start touching yourself during it. The black and white silent film is titled Amante Mengunte, translated as The Shrinking Lover—the hero, Alfredo, drank a potion invented by his scientist girlfriend, which caused him shrinking to the size of a thumb. He is small enough to wander around on his girlfriend’s body while she is asleep. One day, he goes for a walk on her breasts, gives her a sweet orgasm in her dreams by climbing inside her vagina, and becomes part of her forever.

You catch your hand midway as it inches towards your mound. You felt embarrassed at first, getting all hot and bothered from just seeing almost any sex scenes like some horny teenager, but you know there’s something more to it. The gush of desperate longing wells in the pit of your stomach. You miss Jake so much that the idea of keeping him in you so that you never have to be apart seems enticing. The thought scares and arouses you at the same time. You press your knees together, the familiar swelling in between your legs throbs and spreads. You know exactly what you need.

Being led by your desire, you scamper downstairs to Jake’s studio—the place that feel most like him in the whole house. Simply putting your hand on the door handle sends a buzzing current through your body. The whole action has an excitement of forbidden secrecy. It is not that you are not allowed here, quite the opposite—Jake loves having you in his studio, calling you his muse, asking you just to be there doing random stuff like going through his vinyls or reading while he strums the guitar, like you are some model posing for his artwork. However, being here alone without him makes you feel like an intruder.

Upon pushing open the door, the musky, masculine scent whirls towards you. Given the time that Jake has spent down here, the room still smells awfully like him even after the many days that he was gone. The dampness of the basement reminds you of Jake’s hair freshly washed after a shower. The fresh bergamot cushions the hidden spiciness of black pepper that tingles the upper palate of your mouth like a sensual tongue during a teasing kiss. You inhale greedily before closing the door behind you, not wanting the smell to dissipate.

You turn on your laptop and connect it to the projector in the back corner of the room. With trembling fingers you plug in a silver flash drive and click on the folder labeled with a guitar emoji.

This is probably one of your biggest secrets. You have been collecting clips of Jake’s performance that are circling on social media, some shot by professionals and some by fans. (You prefer the ones by fans though; they always have the best angles and manage to capture the hottest moments. After all, you are just one of them before you start dating Jake.) And you have been editing the videos together, making a personal documentary of Jake’s performance. So far, the length of the film has reached 17 minutes, and you still have more clips patiently lying in the footage library.

You waste no more time clicking the play button. As the bright light shines through the small transparent lens on the projector, the video comes to life on the wall in front of you. You drop down to your knees.

It starts with the clip of Norwegian Wood. You like to ease yourself into it, despite already being slithery between your fold. Watching Jake play the acoustic guitar tenderizes and relaxes you. Each note, crisp and mellifluous, drips from the strings; the misty and ethereal background sound resonates in the stadium, adding to the ambience. As if the descent of a deity, Jake walks into the light as the cheering and applauding grows louder. You let out a soft sigh. Although much sweeter and mellower than its electric counterpart, the acoustic guitar dallies with your nerves. Thanks to the inadvertent little things that let Jake’s domination shine through—the way he moves the cable out of his way with a single flick of his wrist, the way his hand moves away from the strings to quickly rub the sweat off on his pants and adjust the waistline, the way he sticks out one foot to tap the pedal—every single move is a stimuli that rouses a response from your body, reminding you of how he slaps the outside of your thigh when you are squirming a bit too much under his tongue, how he spreads your release on your lower belly when he pulls out his fingers, how he nudges your knees apart and the cool air makes your clit quiver…

The music changes, and you’ve watched the video enough times to know that the next clip is the solo to The Weight of Dreams. You chose that particular video because of how unrelenting it is. For almost seven minutes, the ruthless grip of the music washes your mind empty. You stroke your hood up and down, feeling the flesh pushing down on your clit. You try, albeit futilely, to match your speed with the beat of the music. You lift up your head and gawk at Jake’s fingers tapping and plucking the strings, the muscles of his forearm flexing and the veins pulsing. The rhythm he wrings out of the instrument drips down your throat, gliding through your fold. You scuffs closer to the wall. You miss his fingers, the callouses; the ridge that separates the hardened skin from the soft slightly scrapes your walls and occasionally grazes your clit. In slight frustration, you slam one hand against the wall for leverage, leaning forward for more friction.

The overwhelming desire, plus the whining of the guitar, must have muffled your other senses. You are completely oblivious when the door opens behind you.

Jake throws the car in the driveway and almost trips as he kicks his shoes off at the doorway. A delightful change of plans allows him to come back home for the weekend. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way your face lights up when he surprises you. To his dismay, the house is eerily quiet. Your coat and bag are both hanging by the door. He walks into the living room—the film is still playing on TV, now with the credit rolling; you blanket is bunched up into a messy pile, obviously being yanked aside; the bedroom and the washroom doors are wide open, showing no signs of you. He was about to pull out his phone when he hears the muffled melody coming from downstairs.

He could never mistake the sound of his own riff. The thought of you listening to his music when he’s away strokes his ego in the best way. He smiles to himself as he pushes open the door. The sight in front of him makes him gulp. Blood rushes to the lower half of his body.

The projector’s bright light and the video on the wall are the only light sources in the room. He could only see the right side of your face from where he is standing. But that is enough to make his dick harden. Your eyes are closed, mouth slightly agape, with your jaw slack. Your hand is buried in your underwear, the bulge created by your fingers trembling with the circular movements. The blue light illuminates your face, softens your features, and bathes you in a holy glow. With your chin tilted up and your knees pressed, it looks as if you are kneeling in front of an altar, waiting to receive some religious blessing. And there it is, the image of him in front of you, playing on stage, shredding the guitar.

Making as little noise as possible, he closes the door and makes a bee line to your laptop. He presses on the volume button until the sound is completely muted. Sensing the change, you open your eyes and almost jump out of your skin at the sight of Jake standing behind you.

“Jake, I—” Before your hand spring out of your panties, you feel a warm and firm weight on your shoulder, holding you right in place.

“Keep going.”

His hand stays there for two more heartbeats, silently restating the command, as if he knows you intend to get up. You have half a heart to protest, but you quickly yield. Seeing him shatters your judgement and your sense of shame. Rarely do dreams come true, and when they do, it’s stupid to shut the door in its face. Your fingers dig deeper, picking up the speed.

“Eyes on me, love.”

The nickname muttered in his raspy voice has your head shoot up. You watch as he walks to his guitar stand, picks up his Gibson, and plugs it into the amp.

“I say there’s no need for a mirage now that yours truly is right here,” he turns off the projector and flicks on the backlit panel lights. The room is now shrouded in a puny indigo glow. “Am I right, my dear?”

You swallow thickly. Usually, this is when Jake expects an audible answer from you. But he is particularly lenient towards your reticence today.

“Now, where did we left off?” he speaks in a low mumble. He glances at your laptop screen before shutting it off. “Ah, Meeting the Masters. Very well.”

The throbbing between your legs now matches the thumping of your heart. Each contraction directly pumps blood to your clit, ballooning up the inflamed fervidity. You feel the bundle of nerves getting softer and spongier as you get wetter. Your insides ripple as you watch Jake pushes up the neck of the guitar as the trill of notes spills. Even in your murky state of mind, you recognizes that he is improvising by adding twist and turns spontaneously.

“I can hear the gears in your mind turning,” Jake tilts his head as he studies you through hooded eyes. “And it’s interfering with the music.”

He speaks to your pussy the same way he speaks to his guitar.

“Now, tell me what you are thinking. Entertain me with some of your thoughts, baby doll,” the music halts as he stands in front of you. Lifting up your chin, his thumb brushes across your bottom lip. “I’ve missed your voice, y/n. Talk to me.”

It sounded more like a plea instead of a command. Hearing that he misses you too warms up your heart. The pent-up grievance wells up to your throat, pressing a whine out of you: “I miss you so much…I-I imagine you are here.”

Jake hums encouragingly: “Be more specific, love. How, exactly?”

Dirty talk was never your metier. Jake is the talker in bed. He is fully conversant with your body as well as the effect that each of his moves has on you; you’ve always assumed he knows exactly what you want, and he’s always been correct. However, he is determined to push you further today. Seeing your hesitation, he decides to help you out.

“Am I there? Are you watching me?”

“Y-yes,” You take a deep breathe. “I am in the stadium. You..you are playing on stage.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Just you, only you. You are playing, and I am in the pit, by the barricade. And I get wet. I kneel down, just like—like I am doing now.” Your fingers flinch away from your clit, the feeling a bit too intense for you to continue the words.

“I am touching myself as I watch you play so perfectly, but you…you are not looking at me.”

Jake lets out a pitiful coo: “awww, I’m being mean, am I? Ignoring my sweet girl?”

“N-no!!” You quickly deny, shaking your head frantically. If you are in your normal mindset, what you are about to say would make you burst, but the fluttering sensation down there is burning a trail of wildfire straight up to your brain; the stiff string in your mind uncoils around the pole of shame as the next sentence fall from your lips hurriedly: “It’s me, I’m seeking emotional validation because I’m such an attention whore.”

Upon hearing that, Jake’s heart clenches. He knows that you are deep in your head and whatever you say now are probably some of the most cathartic and earnest words he will ever hear from you. The words revealing your deepest desire, your long-repressed yearning for him. While flattered by the love and devotion, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt hearing your utter self-degradation. His grip on the guitar tightens, and the base of his thumbnail pales. He almost relents, wanting to scoop you up in his arms, carry you to bed, and adore you with kisses. But you are not finished.

“The gravel is grazing my knees and there will be scratches and bruises after. I finger myself. I close my eyes and imagine it is you doing it…you fucking me with your music. I imagine your fingers fucking my pussy the same way they move across the fret board and strum the strings,” now you find yourself unable to stop—the words plummeting out of you, one after another. Your fingers still dance around your throbbing clit, rubbing your labia up and down faster, drawing breathy moans.

“Haah.. Aaah…Wh-when I look up, I saw myself being projected onto those giant screens on both sides of the stage, the camera zooms in on my face…so, ah, fuck, I am watching you…and me fucking myself at the same time. Oh, please, Jake—” Your hips fall back down to your heels and you drop your head in defeat. Your movements lost its rhythm.

“Keep talking.” Jake paces towards you. You can only see the tip of his sock-clad toes and the way they slightly dig into the carpet. Your hand involuntarily reaches for him, holding onto his ankles first and then slowly creeping upwards. He bends at the waist, the guitar hanging from his shoulder, its neck knocking at your collarbone. His lips graze your ear, a mere whisper reverberates like thunder: “Go on, what else?”

You bite back more moans. “Uh…hum…The people, the people around me. They t-take out their phones and start recording and taking pictures of me.”

“Really, do they? How do you feel about that?”

“Oh God. There’s…I can hear so much…so many clicks and clacks of the shutters. And your guitar. And they talk…” Your hand on his calf fraps, a futile attempt to draw him closer. Your forearm feels sore, your neglected clit screaming for more love and contact.

“Please, Jake. I want to cum…I…” You open your mouth only to chock on a whimper as you feel Jake’s middle finger gently pressing on your clit. He is not moving; his finger merely stays there like bee on a flower's anther, pulling more sticky nectar out of you. Your arm gives out, smacking down on your thigh as you hurl forward.

“Tsk tsk, patience, love. You haven’t finished yet,” Jake leaves sloppy, wet kisses along your jawline. You pander to his lips, head lolling to the side. Every kiss feels like a searing cigarette burn.

“What do they say, y/n? Do they call you a slut?”

“Hell, yes. Yes, they post them online, the videos. They hashtag it…Mmm.. ‘Jake Kiszka’s slut,’ ‘the guitarist’s hoe’…”

With those last two words, Jake’s finger start circling your clit, a silent reward for your honesty and a bait to egg you on further. The agonizing buildup leaves you drenched at this point. The wet gushy sound is your pussy’s content purring, now that she was finally granted some attention.

“And in the end I finished. I finished along with your solo. I—I was so spent that I couldn’t even stand. Then, you finally look at me. You look at me straight in the eyes, and y-you…you said…”

“Good girl.”

“Good girl.”

Reality overlaps your imagination as you both mutter the two exact same words.

Your eyes widen. You lips brush passed Jake’s cheekbone and your forehead drops to the part where the body of the guitar meets the neck. The material cooling your skin like cooling pads for a feverish patient, breathing a sense of clarity into your mind. You are in a complete state of submission to the guitar, almost prostrating and bowing to it—a pagan, blindly asking for blessing and begging its approval.

Holy guitar spirit, please do not take up all of his time; share this man with me as well. God, I ache for him like no one else.

You will probably realize how stupid and abject the plea sounds later, that is, if you still care to recall; but right now, you couldn’t care less. You are hovering perilously on the edge of the precipice.

Lowering his gaze, Jake takes notice of your fingernails digging into the flesh above your knees and how your iron grip around his ankles strengthens even more. He knows it’s about time.

“So fucking pretty, my sweet baby.” The tip of his finger latches down on that exact spot, moving infinitesimally but effective enough to summon all your sensory nerve endings to orchestrate a collective hymn.

“Let go for me, love.”

That’s all you need to hear. Your shoulder hunches, ribcage pulls inward, stomach hollows, the muscles of your thigh contract as the walls of your pussy press together, dragging and sucking Jake’s fingers into you. Immense pleasure, like rock candy, bursts and bounces hither and thither all over your body. A part of you wish time could stop right there, so that you are preserved in the moment of forever bliss with a part of him slotted inside you, like an ignorant beetle being caught in a dollop of tree sap.

Jake makes sure you ride out your high before he straightens up. The soreness of his back only feeds more to the hardness of his cock. He slings the guitar off of his shoulder and sets it flat on the floor using only one arm, not even bothering putting it back on the stand; his other arm already wraps around your shoulder. He kneels down in front of you, his hands closed on each side of your face and his forehead resting against yours. Your breaths mingle as your heartbeats align. Jake gently pulls on your nape as you bury your nose in his chest, feeling his fingers scratching your back.

“Did so well, my love. My good, good girl.”

You catches your breath and musters your strength to look up to him with a tired smile. Your hands trail toward the bulbous erection restricted by his corduroy pants. Your mouth follows.

Jake hisses through his teeth, throwing his head back at the much-needed contact. With impressive willpower, he reaches down and cuddles your chin, pulling you up. “As much as I would love that, I also misses my girl terribly. I want to make love to her. Is that okay? Do I have her permission to love on her properly?”

The echoing tingles from your last orgasm hurtle back, making your head swoon. “Oh God, yes. Please. Jake, please.”

Jake scrambles to his feet and lifts you into his arms. Your legs feel like putty from kneeling so long. You stagger and fall back onto the leather couch. The couch is clearly too small for two grown adults, but neither of you mind or care; if anything, the limited space amplifies every sense. He guides your hands down his length and pumps it a few times. The closeness of your bodies makes his swollen tip pointed directly at your clit. You let out a needy moan, threading your finger through his curls and tugs gently until his eyes are level with yours.

Jake will forever revel in the way you look at him with your doe eyes, your pupil dilated, like you couldn’t believe he is real, like you’re intoxicated by a case of him.

“Hi, beautiful.” he grins.

“Hey you.”

You cup his face and go in for another kiss. He spits in his hand and reaches between you, positioning his length at your entrance and nudging his head in tentatively. You are too caught up in the moment that you didn’t realize your body is so taut, not out of nerves and rejection, but out of a desperate urge to hold him close. The hollowing eagerness that has been compiling for the past few months return with a vengeance. The weight and warmth of Jake’s body on top of you is all you could’ve asked for and more.

Jake can feel the confliction between the welcoming pulsation of your pussy and the hindrance clamping down. “Easy, dear,” he says as his hand on your breast traces down to your hips, rubbing soothing circles on your pelvis.

You tilt your head backwards. Your belly falls as your ribs flare out to the sides. He presses in slowly as you opens for him, until he is fully sheathed inside you. The final piece of the puzzle is being put into place. He moans a silent “fuck” into your sternum. The shiver of air travels right to your heart, through the flesh and bones.

Jake is right, no words other than “make love” can better describe what he is doing to you. Every single one of his movements murmurs “love”—his hand grabs yours and places it against his chest, right where his heart is. His cock repeatedly thrusts and retreats like crashing waves, brushing that particularly sensitive spot. His lips entwine with yours, nibbling and licking.

Pleasure, accumulating rapidly, like an empty bottle under the running tap. The surface tension jiggles, threatening to spill.

“Jake…fuck! I’m gonna—”

“Let go, baby,” Jake’s voice is unsteady too. “I’m right behind you.”

In fact, he didn’t even mange to hold out that long. The pressure sprints down his spine and blasts right to his cock. It spasms inside you, pinching and squirting. You climax together. For a moment, your hearts banging crazily against your ribcage, swearing to break out so they can be pressed together even closer.

You lie in the afterglow, two shells washed ashore, scoured back and forth by the slews of post-orgasmic endorphins.

“I love you, y/n,” Jake sighs into your hair.

“I love you, Jake. I’ve missed you so much, you have no idea,” your hands roam on his back.

“I could only imagine,” he sounds compunctious. Jake sneaks his hand behind your head, dipping down for another kiss. “I’m sorry for being away. Thank you for letting me love on you, baby. Your body feels like home to me, you know that?”

You are knocked out of words by the vulnerability and the weight enveloped in that statement. You can only nod, blinking fast to dispel the stinging tears.

“Oh, don’t cry, love,” he smiles at you. There’s also something glistening in his warm caramel eyes. “I am here now, will always be here,” his finger laces with yours, traveling in turn, tapping on your temple, your eyes, and finally resting on the left of your chest, “so, Carpe Diem, Carpe Noctem…”

“Carpe Omnia.”

If home is where the heart is, he has finally settled down. No matter how far, no matter where, once and once again, Jake will always come home to you in the end, where together your soul will dance, entangled in an inseparable embrace—day, night, and for a lifetime.

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Yay you made it!!! Thank you SO MUCH for reading!! Let me know what do you think or if we want a taglist. Any comments, thoughts, and feedbacks are GREATLY welcomed and appreciated.

My other works: Permission to Fall || Mariner's Complex || Ticked (all my boxes) || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

[jpmarvel90]

Absent

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Relationship: Scarlett x Reader

Summary: Scarlett is away more than she's at home, leaving her wife with the kids. When a project means that Y/n is once again pushing back her own work, tension builds and a fight is soon to follow.

Word count: 5550

Y/n's POV:

From the outside looking in, we look like the perfect happy family. A wife and three kids, a nice home and lucky enough to not have to worry about money. What people don't see is the strained relationship and the exhaustion that I feel with every passing day.

I have been married to Scarlett for 6 years and we have three beautiful children. Noah who is four and our 18 month old twins, Izzy, and Mia. We met through a photoshoot she was doing for the Avengers. It wasn't my usual gig, but I'm friends with Kevin Feige and he had asked if I would do photography for the movies. It worked well as I could fit it around the work at my studio and I met the love of my life.

Due to Scarlett's work schedule, we agreed that I would carry any kids that we wanted. So, I closed up the studio when I had Noah and it's been closed ever since. This wasn't the plan though. When Noah turned one, Scarlett was supposed to slow down with her work so it would allow me to return part time. However, she was at the height of her career and was getting offers she just couldn't turn down.

At the time it wasn't the end of the world. I loved being with Noah, he was such an easy baby. Just being in his presence made me so happy. Knowing we wanted another kid. I agreed that I would wait before returning to work until our next children were one.

Once the twins were born our family felt complete. Scarlett took time off for a couple of months when they were born, and it was perfect. Just the five of us living our best life. But then more projects started again for Scarlett, and she would be away filming for all these different projects. We made the decision to stay in New York as we would be close to her family. But it meant that she was often having to go to LA or Atlanta for filming.

I love Scarlett more than anything in this world. Well, level with the kids. But I sometimes feel that she loves acting that little bit more than me. The twins are a lot more work than Noah was which has in turn caused Noah to act out as he feels like they get all the attention. I'm often enemy number one for him. Then Scarlett comes home and she's his saving grace.

I'm exhausted. I barely sleep as the twins still like to wake during the night. I then find I spend the day being a kid herder to make sure they're fed and happy. I'm hoping that once Noah starts school, it'll come a little easier. But at the moment, my time when the kids are asleep isn't spent on me, it's spent on cleaning the home, doing the laundry. I need my wife to help me.

Now you're probably thinking, don't suffer in silence. How is she supposed to know if you don't tell her. Well, I have. We had a long discussion about it before she left for her last project in Atlanta. She has promised that everything is going to change once she's home. She's going to be more present and we're going to be that happy, perfect family again.

She's due home today, and I'm excited to get back to where we were. I know the kids miss her so much whilst she's away. She's missed a lot with the twins, their first words and steps. Both happening whilst she was in Atlanta. It's almost like they're different kids to when she left.

As soon as she walks through the door, she's practically knocked off her feet as Noah runs to her, his little arms wrapping around her legs tightly. I smile as she bends down and picks him up, peppering her face with kisses. "My little prince! I've missed you so much!" She coos, holding him close. "I missed you too mommy." He responds with a big grin.

She notices me holding both twins and her eyes sparkle. I place them down on the floor and they both waddle over to her and I see tears brim her eyes at how much they have grown. "Wow! Look at my babies! You've grown so much!" She says excitedly as she bends down to scoop them up in her arms. Their giggles ring out as she peppers their faces with kisses like she had with Noah. Who was still clinging to her leg by the way.

After she's greeted the kids, she makes her way towards me and gives me a quick peck as her hands are currently full. "Hi babe. I missed you more than I can express." She shares. Looking in her eyes, I can see it's the truth. "I missed you to my love. I'll take your bags upstairs and join you in the living room." I tell her, which earns another kiss in thanks.

That evening is perfect, we spend it together as a family for the first time in a long time. The kids are so happy to have their mom home and are attached to her at every minute. I happily make us dinner so she can enjoy the love from the kids. Knowing that I'll get my chance this evening.

The excitement of having their mom home makes it easy to get the kids to sleep today. I watch with a permanent smile on my face as Scarlett says goodnight to each of them. Grateful that she's finally home.

We get into bed early ourselves and enjoy being back in each other's company. She fills me in on all the excitement of her filming and how Lizzie is planning on a visit soon to come and see the kids. Apparently, she needs some niece and nephew time.

The next few weeks are amazing. Everything is how we had planned it. Scarlett only had a couple of meetings here and there, but otherwise she was around, being the amazing mom that she is. For the first time I feel like I'm not run into the ground. Getting time with the kids, but also for myself and with my wife.

Once evening, we're sat having a glass of wine after the kids have gone to bed and I'm shocked at what comes out of Scarlett's mouth. "I want another baby." She admits, her eyes burning into me as she waits for my reaction. I choke on my wine at her comment, looking at her and seeing that she's totally serious. I take a moment to think of my response. We had talked about having three kids but didn't expect the twins. I just assumed we had finished.

"Are you ready to carry?" I ask. She had always wanted to carry for herself, but her schedule just never really enabled her to. Maybe now she's slowing down she feels like it's time. "I thought you could carry them. You've done an amazing job with them, and I love when you're pregnant." She smiles at me. "But my studio is opening back in two months. It would be bad for business if I were to close it again within the year. I thought you wanted to carry anyway." I ask her.

"I do. But with this next project taking me to the Czech Republic, it'll be difficult and I'm getting older. I'm not as young as you remember." She responds with a chuckle. "What project in the Czech Republic?" I ask her, shocked as it was the first I had heard about it. "For Jojo Rabbit. I had the meeting last week. I told you, didn't I?" She says as if I just forgot that my wife had another project away from home.

"No, you told me you were having dinner with Taika. Nothing more. But I thought you were taking a break for a while so I could get back into work." I return, not really believing that she's done this. "Can't you just postpone it? This movie is something special and I'm really excited about it." She says as if I'm not excited to finally be getting back to work. "I've already postponed it once Scarlett. When you went to New Zealand for Ghost Shell. We talked about this. It was my turn to be able to get back to work Scar." I try not to raise my voice, but the frustration is there.

"It's just three months and then I'll be home." She tries to defend. "Which is when you'll then be doing reshoots for Marvel and back in Atlanta for a month. We're not just here for you when you want us you know." I say, the frustration getting the better of me. "Excuse me?" She asks offended. "When was the last time you were home for more than a month at a time?" I question her, standing from my seat and starting to pace.

I look to her when she doesn't answer. She doesn't remember. "I love the kids more than anything Scar but they are a lot of work. The twins never sleep through the night and Noah hates that they get a lot of my attention. Which would be fine if there were two parents here to even the load but there's not." I huff and she let's out a low laugh. "Oh, come on Y/n, they're as good as gold when I'm home." She defends.

I just scoff at her assumption. "Because they miss you and want to be on their best behaviour for you. I'm always the bad guy. The one getting yelled at by Noah because I can't take him to the park because the twins have tough and tumble. I've lost count of how many times he's shouted that he hates me. Still hurts each time though." I start to ramble, all the stress and anxiety seeping out of me.

"I'm constantly exhausted, because I'm either with the kids, or cleaning up after them. I don't get time to myself. And on top of that I miss my wife. We were meant to go through the journey of having kids, together. But I've never felt more alone. My own needs and dreams always come in behind the kids and you. Starting work again was something for me. Not just something I want, but something I need. To show me that I'm more than just a mom!" I yell my rambling thoughts and I can see that they are shocking Scarlett. She's not even responding anymore.

"Do you even want to be apart of this family anymore or are we just a chore? Because as soon as you're home, it seems like you're always looking for a reason to leave." Sadness fills my voice with my last question. Tears falling down my face as I admit how I've truly been feeling.

"How could you even ask that. I love you and the kids more than I can express. You own my heart and the thought of not having you physically hurts." She defends. "But you barely have us Scarlett. A couple of weeks here or there and you're off again." I shot back, once again stunning her.

We sit in silence, just the sound of a clock ticking breaking it. I'm sat on the sofa opposite her, the physical space between us representing the gap in our relationship. "I don't know if I can keep doing this." I whisper, almost afraid to admit it. Scarlett's head snaps up at my words, fear filling her eyes. "I feel like I have given everything, and I've not got anything left." The admission rolls of my tongue without me even meaning too. "What do you mean Y/n?" She asks, panic lacing her voice as she stands and takes a seat next to me. "I have been more than accommodating for your career. I understand that you love it. But I'm asking you to love us more." I look her directly in her eyes as I speak.

"I won't let you pick work over us again." I state firmly. "What? No, Y/n. Please. You can't leave me. I love you so much. I love the kids! Please what can I do." She pleads, cupping my face as we both cry. "Put us first." I reveal. She looks at me unable to answer and it's my fear come to life. She's going to pick her work over her family.

We're interrupted when we hear little footsteps on the floor. "Hi my prince. Are you ok?" I ask, quickly wiping at my eyes and going to him. "Why is mommy crying?" He asks, pointing at Scarlett. "Did you make her cry?" He turns to me with a fierce look in his eye. "No buddy we're just..." But he doesn't me finish. "Don't make my mommy cry! You'll scare her away like you always do! I hate you!" And there it is. The words he loves to say to me these days.

I fight back the tears of pain and move towards him, but he hits my hand away. "NO!" He shouts. "Noah, please. Let me explain." I try but he shakes his head again. "NO! Why can't you be the one that goes and not mommy." His words feel like a knife to my heart. I hear a gasp from Scarlett as she walks towards us. "That is not how you talk to Mama, Noah!" She tells him off. He just stomps his foot and rushes back upstairs repeating his hatred for me as he goes.

Scarlett places a hand on my shoulder, but I shake it off. "He doesn't mean it." She speaks softly but I just scoff at her words. He does. "I can't do this. I'm going to bed. I'll take the guest room tonight." I say, not giving her time to respond before dashing upstairs and shutting myself away. I've never felt so lost, and I don't know if I'm ever going to find my way out.

Scarlett's POV:

I'm shocked at how Noah just acted with Y/n. He's always such a sweet kid. I could see how much his words hurt Y/n as the light went from her eyes. I tried to offer some comfort, but she shrugs me off. Before I know it, I'm alone in the living room with my thoughts. I've fucked up.

I've been so blinded by my love of my job that I've failed to see the damage it's doing back home. Y/n has always been so accommodating, but I've really taken advantage of that kindness and I think that I may have pushed her too far. I think I may have lost her.

I know that Y/n needs time and me rushing into her room will just start another argument. So, I decide to deal with the gremlin first. He should never talk to Y/n like that. Not that I have anyone to blame but myself. I head up to his room and find him sat pouting on his bed. I smirk a little as he looks just like Y/n in this moment. I take a seat next to him on his bed and he goes to cuddle me, but I stop him.

"We need to talk Mister." I tell him firmly. "Why did you talk to mama like that?" I question him. "She is always busy with the twins and makes you sad, so you go away." He responds. His pout still firmly on his face. "Mama isn't the reason I go away bud. I go away for work. Which means that mama is the one that is here to look after you and your sisters." I try to explain. "I wish you were here and not her." He repeats his point from earlier.

"That's not a very nice thing to say, is it? You'd be sad if mama wasn't around, wouldn't you?" I probe and he thinks for a moment. "But you would be here so I would be happy." He turns to look at me. Wow, I have really managed to make my kid hate his mama because he thinks she's the reason I'm not around. God I am so stupid. "Noah. Come on. I know that you don't want her to leave. Do you understand that what you said to her earlier hurt her and made her sad?" I ask, hoping his sympathetic natures comes through.

His eyes look to mine with worry. "I don't want her to be sad." He mumbles. "I just miss you and want to have more time to play with her when you're not here." He defends. "Oh buddy. That is all my fault. I am away too much and that is all on me not mama. And because I'm away, it means she has to work twice as hard to look after you all so doesn't always have the time to play. So, if you hate anyone it should be me." I admit. He shuffles closer to me and cuddles to my arm. "I could never hate you mommy." He comforts me. "You should never hate mama either." I say with a firm tone, making his gaze drop. "I know. I just get sad." He admits. "And that's ok. But you should never be mean to mama ok." He nods and pull him into a hug. "Tomorrow, you're going to apologise to mama, and we'll do something nice to make her feel better." I tell him and he agrees.

I tuck him back into bed and make my way back downstairs to clean up. It's not too late, but it feels it without having Y/n with me. I miss her. How ridiculous is that? She's only been gone an hour and I miss her. She's always here when I'm home. It's what I love so much.

I can't stop thinking about everything that she said. I hate that she could ever question that I don't love her or the kids more than my job. I know that's all on me, I should have made the effort to show her that more. When it comes to it, I can live without acting, but I can't live without Y/n.

I end up calling my mom and she spends most of the call scolding me. She told me how much work Y/n had done to start getting ready for the studio to reopen and how she had managed to get a few big name clients. It makes my guilt only grow. I am the worst wife.

That night I barely sleep. I spend most of it staring at the empty space beside me, replaying what Y/n had said over and over. The pain in her eyes, the question of if I still love her and want this family. By 5am I give up and start on the day. Once I'm showered and check on the kids, I head downstairs to my laptop. Trying to work out how to fix this.

When the kids start to stir, I get the twins up and sort out their breakfast. Luckily, Noah is still asleep, after his late night, so I can focus on them. Whilst they're playing on their mat, I grab my phone and call Taika. I explain that I need to drop out of the project and put my family first. He's disappointed but he does offer me one option. To take Y/n and the kids with me. That he would arrange for us to have a house near set so we can be together when I'm not filming. He said that he wouldn't look to recast until I confirmed with him if I want to take that offer or not.

This movie really did appeal to me. It's so unique and I think it would be really good fun to do. But that doesn't matter to me anymore. I would still be asking Y/n to postpone her studio opening by a month. I don't think she would go for that. I'm putting Y/n and the kids first. Like I always should have done.

When Noah gets up, we have breakfast together. Which is not a fun experience. I don't make his pancakes the right way and I gave him the wrong fruit, so we're off to a good start. I'm surprised Y/n isn't up yet, but I don't want to rush her. She deserves some time to herself. I can put up with a sulky four year old for the day. She's done it for months.

Throughout the day I realise that there is a lot I don't know about my kids, and it hurts. They have changed since I was last home, and without Y/n's subtle guidance, I'm left to fend on out of date knowledge. The only brightside is that Noah is starting to realise how much he needs his mama.

By the afternoon, all three kids are craving time with their mama. Hell, I'm craving time with my wife. I manage to get the kids somewhat settled in the living room whilst I grab my laptop once again. Maybe a family holiday would be a good place to start. We always talked about Disneyland and Y/n has always wanted to go to Hawaii. I call my mom to see if she would come as well, that way, Y/n and I could have a mini holiday ourselves. She happily agrees, saying that she will do anything to stop my stupid ass losing the best thing that ever happened to me.

By dinner, Y/n finally comes out of the guest room. I give her a big smile, but it soon drops when I see how tired she looks and the tear stains down her cheeks. Her eyes bloodshot and puffy. It makes my heart ache that this is all cause because of me. "Hi my love." I great her, to which she hums in response. She goes to head towards the kitchen, but the kids don't let her get to far. "Mama!" Izzy shouts when she sees her, holding her arms out to be hold. "Hi there my little princess." She smiles at our daughter, resting her on her hip as she goes through the motions of making herself a coffee.

I admire her as she moves around effortless, keep Izzy happy, whilst still managing to sort a drink and some food for herself. It makes my heart grow when I hear the little laughs from the baby when Y/n tickles her after she stole a raspberry from her bowl. Y/n moves into the living room and places Izzy on the mat, but she instantly moves to Y/n and is joined by Mia, both climbing up onto the sofa to be closer to their mama.

Noah, however, stays sat on the floor with his toys. "Hi Noah. Do you want to join our snuggle?" Y/n asks but Noah shakes his head. I frown when I see his reluctance after our talk last night. I see a flash of hurt cross over Y/n's face, but she quickly hides it when the twins start to ramble at her.

I quickly text my mom and ask if she could pop over to take the kids for the evening. I know it's short notice, but I need to save my marriage. It's holding on with a thread and I don't know how much longer it's going to hold. Thankfully, she agrees, restating her comment from the call earlier and I hang up just in time to see Noah, once again, reject Y/n.

Y/n sighs, getting up from the sofa and handing me Mia. Izzy now with her brother on the floor. "I need a walk." She mumbles, grabbing a coat and her phone before leaving the house. I wanted to stop her, but I also need to talk with Noah.

"Noah buddy. Why are you still being mean to mama?" I ask him. His eyes go wide and he's quickly shaking his head. "I'm not being mean!" He defends. "Yes, you are. You're ignoring her." I stay firm and his little lips trembles. "I didn't mean to! She looks sad and I felt bad cos I made her sad. She's not going to leave forever is she?" He admits before the fear of his mama leaving takes over. He burrows himself into my side for comfort. "Oh sweetie. She's not sad because of you. She's sad because of me. Your hugs would make her feel so much better! And no. She isn't going away. She's just gone for a walk." I try to reassure him. I have done a stand up job of screwing things up for my wife and our son!

I spend the time explaining to him why Y/n is feeling sad and how we both have to do our best to make her feel better. He seems to understand and is now patiently waiting for Y/n to come home. As the clock ticks on, I panic, worried that maybe she's left me. Left us. I've pushed her so far that she's gone. When mom arrives, she has to deal with me freaking out and just as I feel like I'm about to totally break down, the front door opens and Y/n walks in. I let out a sigh of relief, knowing she's come home.

"Mama! You're back!" Noah shouts as he rushes into the hallway and collides with Y/n's body. "Of course, I am buddy." She smiles, running her hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, mama." He apologises. "I don't hate you. I love you a lot." He tells her, complete honesty in his eyes. They have a moment together as Noah tells her why he was angry and that he knows it wasn't Y/n's fault.

Y/n looks at me suspiciously when she sees my mom with the kids' overnight bag but allows it when she takes the kids back to hers tonight. "I want us to be able to talk without the worry of the kids." I explain as she gets comfortable in the living room. "Do we have anything more to talk about?" She questions through a sigh. "You may not. But I do. I have a lot I need to say. I hope you'll give me the chance." I say, looking at her with pleading eyes.

When she nods, I take the seat next to her, holding her hand in mine. "I've fucked up. There is no excuse. So, all I can say is that I'm sorry and I promise that I am going to change. This family are my priority. The thought of never acting again makes me sad. But the thought of losing you or the kids makes me feel sick to my stomach. I know that I would never cope. My life wouldn't be worth living." I start off, setting out my thoughts early so she knows where I'm coming from.

"I am so sorry that I made you feel like you were going through this alone. I'm so ashamed of myself that I couldn't see the pain you were in and allowed you to continue making the sacrifices for this family when I was making none. I will stop acting and focus to being a mom and a wife so you can get back to doing what you love. I'll find another passion that accommodates both of us." I promise her. But my words seem to have the opposite effect than I had hoped. My heart stops when she starts shaking her head at me.

"Scarlett. I don't want you to stop doing something that you love. I just want you to prioritise better. To put us first. I would never ask you to quit acting. But these last few years, you've been away more than you've been with us. We just want you in our lives more. We miss you so much. Then as we get used to you being home, you're gone again." She explains.

"We have a lot to work on, but I know how important this project with Taika is for you. So, I spent this morning rearranging some of my clients so I can start once you're back." I can't believe she would do this for me. After everything I have done, she is still putting me first. "No, babe. I can't ask you to do that. I meant what I said. It's time for me to put you first and allow you to follow your dreams..." I start to ramble, but she cuts in. "It's too late. It's already done. But things need to change when you're back Scarlett. It's not fair to me or the kids." She interrupts.

"This project doesn't mean more to me than this family Y/n. I actually called Taika this morning to pull out of the project." I admit and she looks at me shocked. "Really? But you were so excited for it." She replies in shock. "But I'm more excited to support you in your work and be around with the kids more." I come back, wanting her to know that nothing is as important to me than her and our children.

She sits for a moment and looks to me. "I don't want you to resent me because you're missing out on roles that you want to do." She says shyly. I place my finger under her chin and lift it so she can look at me. "But it's ok for you to give up on your dreams instead?" I question her with a raised eyebrow. "When I married you, my dream was to have a family with you. But when we achieved that, I got greedy and wanted the best of both worlds. I never should have taken advantage of you like I did. I promise that I'll never do it to you again." It's not a baseless promise and I hope that she can see that. I think she does when she pulls me into her and holds me close, letting out breath as she does.

"I bet Taika was annoyed to lose you." She says after we've sat in silence for a while. "He understood. Scolded me a little for screwing up. Even offered for the four of you to join me and live out there whilst we film. But he gets why I made the decision I did." Her head snaps up to mine when she hears what I said. "He offered for us to live in the Czech Republic whilst you film?" She asks and I nod. "Yeah, he said he'd arrange a house close to set so I was away from you as little as possible." I reply, whilst running my hand through her hair, enjoying being this close to her again.

"We should do it." She mumbles into my shoulder. "What was that babe?" I question, not sure I heard her right. "We should do it. I've already moved my work around. Noah doesn't start school until you're back. This way you can do the project and we can readjust once we're home." She sits back to look at me as she talks, and I can see that she means what she's saying. It's not just to make me feel better. "Are you sure that's what you want? I really don't mind if I step back from this project. I don't want you to do this for me and it put us even further back." I admit.

"If I hadn't moved work around maybe I wouldn't be saying it. But it's a chance for us to live abroad. The kids would learn so much from it. Besides, you said yourself that you think this is an Oscar worthy film. Who am I to deny you that opportunity." She smiles, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"I'll only do it on one condition. Well two actually." I say, trying to be firm, but the nerves taking over. "I'm listening." She smiles. "First, we have a holiday. I was thinking Disneyland, then the two of us head to Hawaii. Mom already said she'd stay at the parks with the kids." I start off and feel more relaxed when she laughs. "Ok, and your second condition?" She pushes me to continue.

"Well, it's not really a condition. I guess a promise from my part. I'm going to step back from filming for a bit. I want to be the supportive wife you deserve. I'll only pick roles that really appeal to me. Besides, I always wanted to start my own skincare line. I can do that from here in New York and be around all the time. Being the mother and wife that I am supposed to be." I keep eye contact as I talk so she can see how genuine I'm being.

She doesn't respond. Not verbally anyway. She leans in and captures my lips in a loving kiss. One that shows me everything that I could have lost. I can't believe that I allowed my own desire to live my dream, to damage my family so much. Seeing the pain on Y/n's face is something that I never want to see again. I will do everything in my power, to make sure that I am the best I can be for this family. 

[ioniansunsets]

I love all your Heartsteel hcs they are making me melt <3

Can I request a scenario of Aphelios going to non musician!readers house after a long day and then just spoil them with cuddles and hugs until they go to sleep? Hes my fave and I’m just so normal about him and the rest of Heartsteel thank you <<3

✖ Heartsteel!Aphelios Chilling with Reader ✖

✖ Word Count: 1.5k

✖ Tags: Established R/S

✖ A/N: SORRY FOR TAKING A WHILE!!!! Wrote this with Worlds in mind! Also imagining their little collab with Knotted + The Rocklove apparel drop❤️ Our boys have been busy.

I...also got really carried away, I just like soft warm domestic established relationships..........

Also doing this with the headcanon that Aphelios can still very softly whisper (like how he talks to Alune). He can sign, he can type fast with just one hand but! His favorite thing is to let you, his precious partner, hear him when it really matters.

----

It was a long month for Aphelios. He wasn't, miserable, to speak but he was slowly reaching his (already low) mental limit. The stress of performing in front of millions truly catching up to him.

Heartsteel was finally going to perform on stage so it has been practice after practice. Photoshoots, interviews, Instagram lives, meetups for collabs at stores, showcases for new merch, feedback for social media content, approving this and that. It has been non stop work and Aphelios was far beyond burnt out.

He was exhausted and he hasn't seen you in days. As such, when Alune finally squeezed some time out of everyone's schedule to give them a day off (after a grueling final full dressed practice run right before the actual performance day) the first thing he did was grab a ride to your place. It was a quick goodbye wave to the other members, thanking the staff with a curt bow before he ran to grab his stuff, change and fucking book it. Dropping you a message on Discord to let you know he was finally done and coming over as he calls for a ride.

It was late already too, the sun had set and all Aphelios could really do what think about you. Actually, all he could think about when he wasn't working on band stuff was you.

His hands and legs jittery, itching to finally see you, feel you, hear you, hold you. Oh gods, to have you in his arms again. He sucks in a breath at the thought.

How he so craves you to salve his faltering, exhausted soul. He sighs, turning up the music in his headphones as he leans against the window of the passenger's side. Fingers tapping to the beat as he tries to calm down, a smile on his face already at the thought of seeing you again.

He wasn't used to this. Being away from you this long and being so busy as to not even be able to chat with you often. Before Heartsteel picked up traction the two of you were practically inseparable, he would spend time writing songs in your room as you worked. Or Aphelios would just invite you over to his place to chill as he made music. The simple joys of being able to work from home as an artist. But alas, fame comes with responsibilities, and as much as he loves finally making it in the scene, it was tough going through the withdrawal of not being by your side.

His heart races in anticipation as the car stops at an all too familiar road. Grabbing his things, he pays and leaves, slamming the door to the car shut.

Aphelios was practically flying up the steps to your apartment, out the cab he half walked, half ran to your door. Standing by the gate as he calls you to let you know he's here.

When you finally open the door, you're met with the most excited smile, his eyes almost close with how wide he is smiling.

Your usually calm and cool boyfriend dropping everything he was holding to throw himself into your arms the second the door opened. The softest of his whispers as he presses his cheek against yours.

" I've missed you, so much."

You could tell, the way his body sinks into yours. The way his arms grasp you tighter than he ever has. The way he lightly nuzzles you. So uncharacteristic but so understandable at the same time. You laugh a little, telling him how much you missed him too as you held him close.

" Let's stop standing by the door. Come in Phel."

His shoulders rise and fall in a silent chuckle as he picks up his things form the floor to step into your house.

It was the usual domestic slice of life happenings that he was so used to doing. The absolute heartwarming comfort of just going on autopilot. Putting his things in the same spot he always has in your room. Going to get a bath, grabbing a change of clothes from his own shelf by your bed. The way you already helped make him dinner while he was bathing because you just know he hasn't eaten all day. It was perfect, it was like how things always was. A reminder that even though so much was going on, he was still yours as much as you were his.

" I'm excited for you. But you sure you can stay the night? You'll have to wake up earlier than if you stayed with the band you know?"

[ Being by your side is the only way I'll be able to calm down before tomorrow. It's worth the hour of sleep I'll miss not being in the venue hotel.]

The two of you update each other on your lives as he ate. You telling him about the things that happened through the month, watching small videos he took behind the scenes of the shoots, making fun of the other members together as you sit by his side by the dining table. You telling him about your time with your friends, telling him how much you missed him, how happy you were to be with him again too. And oh, the way his leg would reach out to yours, his foot lightly hooking you by the ankle to feel you close as his hands were busy with eating and typing to you about his day. It was nice. It was right. It was the cute little things that you were so used to with Aphelios. Your own hand reaching back out to hold his side. Aphelios' eyes closing as he takes a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of you holding him close after day after day of the noisy meals with the band or the desperately lonely silence of eating in a changing room between sets. It was a nice change of pace to finally be here with you.

Time ticks by and soon enough it was getting really late. Aphelios insisting to help you with the dishes since you cooked, so you did him a service by just hugging him lovingly from behind, giving the back of his neck soft kisses as he smiles with his head tilted to the side so you can rest your head on his shoulder.

" Sleep?"

You ask him softly as he puts the dishes away and dries his hands. Aphelios nods, it was getting late and he had to wake up at 5am to go through even more preparations tomorrow, but that's tomorrow Aphelios' problems. He shoves the thoughts to the back of his mind as he focuses back on you and your beautiful face.

Slowly the two of you walk up to your room, just like everything else, a warm familiarity as he walks to lie down exhausted, on his designated spot on the bed, pulling over some of his plushies that he left at your place as you join him in bed. As you crawl onto the soft bed and lie down, almost instantly you were pulled in close, his arms wrapping around you tight as he sighs again with a smile, enjoying the skinship.

The two of you get comfortable, his face lightly pressed into your shoulder as he laid in your arms. One of your hands around him as the other lightly strokes his hair, comforting him from all the work he has put in to reach where he was. Aphelios just couldn't help but feel all his trouble melt away, that ache in his muscles magically leaving him. Trying his best to fight off sleep as he wants to spend every minute more with you. It was not enough, never enough. Hours, days, years, spent by your side but in the end, all he can do now is but enjoys the little seconds before his consciousness wanes.

Once again, the warm comfort of the usual that has now become but a precious rarity. As he flits in and out of consciousness, he does one final act of love. You smile as he pulls himself up closer to your ears.

" I love you. Goodnight..."

As you adjust yourself to face him, you're met with a warm smile, his dyed hair falling softly around him on you, an almost ethereal glow on his skin from the moonlight seeping in from your window as he blinks at you with half lidded eyes, barely open from exhaustion. Truly a beautiful sight, one that you can't help but to cherish.

" I love you too Phel. Rest well."

You reach out to give him a gentle goodnight kiss on his lips, and just like tonight, and all the nights you have spent, and will spend, with him, he reaches out and kisses you back. So matter of fact, so expected that it was almost comical. He loves you and you love him. And that was right. Slowly the two of you fall asleep in each others arms once again.

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

An Innocent Mistake (Finale)

"Has Barbatos brought MC back yet?" Mammon demanded. "I got the pictures in from the photoshoot we did!"

"Oooh, lemme see!" Asmodeus chirped, clamouring for the envelope as Mammon held it out of reach. "Gimme!"

"Hell nah! I promised MC we'd look at 'em together! Get yer hands offa me!"

"We kept their outfits, right?" Belphie asked, half asleep on the sofa, legs resting across Beel's thighs as the gluttonous demon ate popcorn beside him. "They looked really cute in that blue silk one."

"What about the armour! Like a mini warrior dragon!" Spewed Levi, cheeks growing pink at the memory. He has his own collection of pictures taken of little dragon MC in all sorts of different outfits. One of his favourites was when he draped thin chains of gold around their horns and wings, making them look like almost godly.

The house of Lamentation has gotten used to many an odd occasion, from curses to video games, and their human inhabitant turning draconic has been no different.

Over the month they've been in this form, MC has grown from the size of a housecat to the size of a medium-large dog, and the brothers have found ways to accomodate.

Satan reads his notes to them so they can't fall behind on classes, Asmodeus paints their claws the same way he'd paint their fingernails, Beel feeds them off his own plate most of the time and Belphie is more then happy to use them as a pillow with or without scales.

Still, they miss MC's voice. As cute as chirping and growling is, it just isn't the same.

The brothers all look up at once at the sound of the front door opening, only to find Lucifer, with no dragon in sight.

He takes note of their disappointment, and laments adding to it.

"I've received some disturbing news. Apparently, Solomon has collected MC from the Demon Lord's Castle. He failed to inform anyone that he's found a way to attempt to turn them back."

"Attempt?" Satan muttered suspiciously.

"That's not a good word." Levi agreed with the sentiment. "What if he turns them into something else, like a-"

"There's no point speculating." The eldest put an end to the panic before the real objections could really start. "I've already contacted Simeon, Solomon isn't at Purgatory Hall, he's taken them somewhere else to reverse the spell."

"And we're just supposed to trust the crazy bastard?!" Mammon wailed.

"Not much choice is there, really." Asmo frowned, folding his arms around himself as he does on fearful occasions. "At least we know the pacts still work, so MC can tell us if things go really wrong...right?"

A heavy silence fell over the room, one nobody broke as they all quietly found perches around the living room to wait, napping, scrolling through DDD's or watching some droning nature documentary that no one really paid attention too.

Not much of anything was said for at least twenty minutes, until the sound of a fresh bag of chips cracked open the silence.

"Isn't this the same narrator who did that short series?"

"Yeah, think he started out with documentaries though." Levi replied without thinking, without realising that speaking was the very voice he's been replaying from his phone at night, the voice they've all missed to death.

It's Beel, whose sensitive nose picks up their scent, who throws himself to his feet, sending popcorn and Belphie flying when he takes off and crashed MC into his infamous bear hug.

The human barely has time to laugh at their reactions as they throw arms and legs around Beel and squeeze tight, relishing the feeling of a proper hug for the first time in weeks.

Belphie is hot on his brother's heels, ending up sandwiching MC between them, as they always do. If MC could still purr, they would have.

"Hey! What's the big idea, scarin' us all like that!" Mammon's objections fell on utterly deaf ears, as the second MC wriggled out from between the twins and hugged him, he couldn't hold onto the mask.

He buried his face in their neck to hide his smile, "reluctantly" wrapping his arms around them to pull them close. "Don't go lettin' that shady sorcerer do that to ya again, ya hear?"

"But Mammon, didn't you think I was cute as a dragon?"

"Shaddup, stupid human."

"Mammon! My turn!" Asmodeus demanded, and soon had MC happily in his arms, spinning happily as he smattered their face with kisses. "Welcome back hon!"

"No ill effects from the transformation?" Satan appeared at Asmo's side, affectionately stroking their hair while Asmo continued to rock them gently back and forth.

MC smiled happily, revelling in the rare display of affection from the Avatar of Wrath. Satan isn't a hugger on the best of days, let alone in front of his brothers.

"I'm fine, was barely disoriented. Pretty sure Solomon would rather I'd have been unconscious though..."

Satan's lips twitched into a smirk. "Something tells me you didn't just say I told you so."

MC's innocent grin said it all.

They sidled away from a reluctant Asmo to high five Levi. "Transformation achieved! I'd have so levelled up by now!"

"You are always OP, Henry!"

"Does anyone know what OP means?"

"Nope. MC does, ask them later."

Finally, the human looked to Lucifer, smiling quietly at them, holding himself back, as usual. During the weeks they'd spent as a dragon, Lucifer had been so careful, so diligent in making sure they stayed safe.

MC didn't care if he was too proud to hug them in front of his brothers, they jumped on him, happily nuzzling into his collar. "Thank you, for looking after me.

"I am...glad you're back." Relief filled his words as he muttered close to their ear. "Next time that sorcerer wants to try a new spell, you cast it on him first."

MC laughed, happily surrounded by some very relieved demons and back in their own skin. "Duly noted. But you're all still in deep shit for letting Barbatos use me as a rat catcher."

"Oh...oh shit."

@ihatecorns

[transfemlogan]

idk if you were being serious lol, i have trouble with tone. but whats wrong with some of the ts critters?

which ones are "right" and whos just "shitting on anything"?

i am finally off of work & just ate a sandwich so now i can finally talk abt this.

please note: I am referring to a small group of fans within the critical side of things.

On both sides of the community, no one (hyperbole) can ever settle with a middle ground or have any sort of grey area. it's always extreme. it's always "thomas is the worst person ever & all of his actions r terrible" or "thomas is the best person ever & all of his actions are good", when in actuality human beings are complex and cannot be contained in one absolute or another.

Some TSS critical fans focus on things that absolutely do not matter or have the most wild takes I've ever seen. I was one in a sasi critical discord server awhile back and everyone was complaining about Thomas' posting his clothed ass on instagram ... he quite literally underpaying his employees. i think one of these is more important than what he does with his own body.

and the thing is there are some things that he does in regards to his body that IS weird, such as: why is he posting sexually as velma, a teen character, on his patreon which (at the time, idk if it is still now) is not age restricted.

but him posting himself in a spiderman suit where if you look REALLY hard you can "see his underwear" is not the biggest issue in the world. or him not wearing a dance belt in the same costume. sorry, but actually i think you're the weird one if you're focused so heavily on how his genitals look in cosplay! the way you guys talk about it is lowkey leaning towards sexual harrassment, and I don't know if Thomas has an opinion on it or not, but's its incredibly weird regardless.

Shitting on thomas & co, current & past, employees for breathing. there's a new blog going around mentioning how they "hate brei" bcuz she "always starts drama" and the drama that they're talking about is her getting laid off... like. thats not drama, i think an artist is allowed to speak about their experiences with a certain job.

I feel like certain TSS critical fans have such an unrealistic view on creators, in the same way certain non-critical fans do. where non-critical fans think he shouldn't be held accountable for anything that he does, critical fans think every single thing he does is inherently evil or whatever.

"thomas shouldn't be attacking people in his twitter replies" this is an inherently true statement, however there's certain things that really depend on what's happening.

What is this person saying under thomas' posts? Who is saying it? How is thomas reacting specifically?

someone who comments unhelpful & rude ass comments underneath thomas' posts, such as infantalising him by telling him "thomas, thomathy, my sweet child, learn how to wear a skirt!!!" does in fact deserve some heat back because that's fucking weird. telling thomas advice on how to pose for a photoshoot is also probably fucking weird. but a child (or even an adult) commenting how much they miss sanders sides because it's been 4 years? that's fine and deserves a lot more compassion than thomas gives them.

& then you see how some people dm him about certain things or comment on his posts about it, when none of it is warranted. yes it's fucking weird for you to dm him, a REAL HUMAN BEING, and tell him to "hurry up and finish the fucking video"!!!! but its ALSO weird for him to post your username publically knowing how big his fanbase is and knowing how they will react.

im sorry but some fans are, in fact, fucking rude ass cunts. & thomas is allowed to tell you to fuck off. but its important to know when thomas is allowed to do that and when some fans are not being rude ass cunts. thats the point of critical thinking.

and there is some entitlement within the critical side of the community. yes thomas does owe his fans things, no he doesn't owe you certain things.

it's not surprising that he gives sasi upsets on his patreon, it's almost like that's what the point of a patreon is. but he does owe those patreon users something, since they are paying him Money For promised content that never comes.

it's not surprising that he got upset you provided unwanted critique on how he's posing? in a photoshoot? and then didnt... "credit you for the advice" ... thats not exactly how advice works. he does not owe you that. But it is weird how he does take from fan creation and headcanons. after Joan (& thomas, im pretty sure) talked about how they don't like reading fanfiction because they don't want to steal from fans, only to go on and make logan's eyes orange.

(note: i do not know what that user's advice even was, since they never go in depth about it. so maybe it was warranted some credit and not a rude response, but i have no idea so I am going off what I know.)

A lot of fans, again on both sides of the community, think it's a very black & white situation. if one thing applies then everything else does to, when in actuality like .... situations are more complex than you guys expect.

sometimes there's just not a lot of nuance or fucking thinking that goes into some of these takes, and it's one of the reasons I dislike looking at TSS critical blogs now. its why i dislike the concept of a "critical discord server", because no one here can use critical thinking.

i want nuanced, intriguing takes and criticism. not random fucking baseless hate just because you want to shit on him. its annoyingggg!!!

[mazeinthemiroh]

you need a holiday. [part 2]

pairing: hongjoong x best friend! reader

genre: friends to lovers, slow burn / slow romance, slight angst, and, of course, a sprinkle of crack

word count: 1.2k

warnings: cursing (mainly the f bomb), allusions to mental health issues + insomnia, hongjoong being stubborn af, helpful wooyoung <3

summary: hongjoong has been told to take some time off work, which he wanted to resist. confused and stressed, he tries to figure out what to do [part 1, part 3.]

author's notes: for those who missed it. i reckon this series will have 4 or 5 parts, just fyi. thank you for joining for part 2, and thanks for those of you who have supported me in part 1! let me know if you want to be tagged in the rest of these :] otherwise, enjoy the rest of them! <3

It wasn't that Hongjoong didn't trust your judgement. Of course, he did. It was the reason why he came to you in the first place. But it didn't sit right with him to take time off.

He knew that everyone needed time off but it was just bad timing. Although, if he was being honest, it was always bad timing. Whenever he had a break or a vacation, he could never fully relax. It was always right after a comeback and on to the next one, with things still very much in the air in terms of promotions.

He always felt restless. Like he should be doing something. Sitting and just... existing was a weird sensation. Not to say that Hongjoong is a man of action. He is usually calm and collected and fine with little stimulation. But his mind was always working. It felt hopeless, trying to relax during his breaks, because his mind naturally goes haywire. Thinking about the next comeback or the song he hasn't quite completed or the important photoshoot coming up next month. He thought about all these things.

"He's driving himself crazy, you realise that?" You were on the phone with Seonghwa, talking about your shared concern for Hongjoong. "I don't think I've ever seen him fully relax. Like... fully let go of all the things worrying him. It's so frustrating."

Seonghwa sighed through the phone, "Try living with him." He loved Hongjoong dearly and you could sense it through the concern in his voice. You were glad, at least, that Hongjoong wasn't alone. Seonghwa being there to keep an eye on him always put you at ease, because you couldn't always be there for your friend in the way you wanted to.

Meanwhile, Hongjoong slaved away. Hunched in what looked like the most uncomfortable position ever, he leaned over his desk and stared at the blank sheet of paper before him. It felt like he'd been sitting there for hours in the studio, and yet he had written nothing. No lyrics for the new song. Not a single thought. His brow was furrowed deeply as he closed his eyes. Thoughts swirled around in his busy head, and he couldn't make sense of anything.

He hadn't eaten or drunk anything in hours. His throat was sore and parched, his eyes dry from the air-conditioned room. Numbness took over him.

"Hongjoong."

He turned around slowly to see Eden, making his way back to the studio to gather some paperwork he'd left behind.

"I thought you'd gone," Hongjoong stated, his lifeless voice attempting to sound vibrant. Eden's jaw tightened.

"I don't want you here, Hongjoong. You don't look well and I think you need a break."

'Oh, so now Eden was telling me I need a break? What was up with everyone,' Hongjoong wrestled with the urge to fall asleep as he blinked his eyes open to stare at Eden's genuine expression.

"God, I'm not dying, geez. You've never taken any concern before," Hongjoong tried to snap back, but his tired voice and his weak state made him seem as threatening as an angry kitten.

"Well take it as a sign then," Eden replied back abruptly, before setting a hand down on Hongjoong's shoulder. "Go home, get some rest. Take a couple of days off."

"I don't need days off, I need to finish this!" Hongjoong exclaimed, his eyes now wide with exasperation. He felt heat rising to his head.

His phone buzzed on the desk. A notification. And when he eyed the phone screen, he saw your name:

Flight leaves tomorrow morning. I already bought your ticket so you might as well join me ~

His eyes wavered as he calmed his breathing, before looking back at Eden desperately.

What was he going to do...

"Help me pack my fucking case."

Hongjoong's weak body chucked the suitcase to the floor of his bedroom. 1 o'clock in the morning. At this hour, he could be writing another song. He could be perfecting the new album. He could be working on Ateez's new concept. But no. He was packing. Packing.

"Huh?" Wooyoung looked at him, wide-eyed and confused, "Are you going? You're actually going?"

"I don't fucking know okay? Everyone's telling me to leave so maybe I fucking should," Hongjoong shouted, his breath hitched in his throat. He could barely breathe as scrambled for clothes and shoes and necessities of all sorts. His mind wasn't thinking straight and yet he persisted.

"Calm down," Wooyoung urged, "you and your colourful language can hush. There are people trying to sleep!"

"You're one to talk about colourful language," Hongjoong hissed, quieter now. He was usually so considerate of being quiet when he got back at late hours, but his brain wasn't working the way it used to.

Wooyoung saw his desperation and came to his rescue, folding through his chosen clothes and placing the efficiently in his suitcase. He was surprisingly good at organising where everything went. Why, if it was his own suitcase, he would likely shove everything in there and hope for the best. But he knew Hongjoong needed clarity, so that's what he strive for.

"Where are you going by the way?" Wooyoung asked in order to ease some of Hongjoong's tension.

"Spain," replied Hongjoong, his voice blunt and tired.

"With who?"

"Y/N."

Wooyoung slowed his movements, a grin forming on his face. "Ahh."

Hongjoong whisked his head around to face his friend.

"And what the hell does that sound mean?" Hongjoong's eyes may be tired, the bags under them dragging, but they were still piercing beyond belief, dangerous if you looked for too long. Which is why Wooyoung didn't bother looking up at all.

"Nothing, nothing," Wooyoung's playful voice sounded as he tried to contain his massive smirk.

Hongjoong shook his head and huffed, finally zipping up his suitcase and collapsing on his bed.

Was he really going to do this? Just Go? Leave everything and everyone behind for a bit? It felt wrong. It felt unnatural.

Wooyoung made his way onto Hongjoong's bed and snuggled up to him, which made the captain grimace and turn away slightly.

"I'm not in the mood, Wooyoung."

"Well, you're welcome for helping you pack," Wooyoung poked his sides aggressively, making the man squirm a bit.

Then they both lay there. Hongjoong was too exhausted to protest Wooyoung's affection, who was readily offering it. Not to annoy the captain, but to reassure him.

"Okay, I'm going to leave now," Wooyoung stated, deciding he had had his fun, and felt he did what he could. Hongjoong lay there unresponsive, and the younger member couldn't tell if he had drifted off to sleep or had just ignored him.

"Goodnight," he whispered loudly in Hongjoong's ear, before getting out of bed and stretching slightly, yawning as he did so.

Hongjoong stayed in his slightly curled-up position, blankets hugged to his chest.

"Have a safe flight if I don't see you," Wooyoung didn't hear Hongjoong's whispered 'thank you' as he closed the door.

Hongjoong lay awake for a little bit figuring out his next move. His next plan of action.

But the temptation to drift off into slumber was beyond his resistance, and soon he was snoring softly in a comfortable, dreamless state, the question of tomorrow awaiting him.

taglist: @a-wandering-stay, @xlovehwa, @yeosangsbiceps, @anyamaris, @acciocriativity, @hawaiian-angel, @toolovelyforyou, @dutchessskarma, @saltedplum-squid, @dandycharmer, @baek-at-it-again95, @whatisnttakenbynow, @yeosxxx (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[steddieas-shegoes]

if youre still doing the headcanons- "what is he doing here?"

Steve hadn't seen Eddie in two years. Hadn't talked to him in nearly three. He'd worked pretty hard to not have to hear anything about him or see any news about him for most of that time, too.

So when he sees him sitting on Dustin's couch, lounging, as if he belongs there, he gets a little pissed.

"What is he doing here?" He asks Dustin through gritted teeth.

Dustin failed to mention that anyone else would be at his house for their monthly dinner, let alone that Eddie would be here.

That Eddie was even back in Hawkins.

Eddie overheard him, sitting up on the couch quickly and staring at them both.

"Eddie's in town to visit with Wayne and he stopped by to say hi."

"And he's leaving?"

Eddie looked down at the floor.

Was he...sad? He looked sad.

Steve refused to care, he couldn't care. Not with how Eddie left.

No note, no phone call, just an apology through Dustin as if he should have ever been put in the middle of whatever they had.

But if he was this sad, maybe something was wrong with Wayne? Steve admittedly hadn't checked in with him in a few months, his questioning about what happened between them often leaving him feeling drained.

"No, he's not leaving." Dustin looked between them with an angry glare. "Neither of you are leaving actually. Not until you at least talk about things like adults. You don't have to be friends or whatever, but you damn sure can't keep doing what you're doing. Steve's miserable, Eddie's pretending he isn't. Fix it before we all tie you down and make you."

"Dust-"

"No!" Dustin held his hand up as Eddie tried to speak. "Fix it. I'm going to call Suzie and when I come back, you better at least be able to look at each other."

The next few minutes were silent. Awkward.

Painful.

He noted every physical change in Eddie, saw how thin he was, how the dark circles under his eyes had somehow gotten worse despite the fact that he'd left to make it big and succeeded. He should be happy.

He should be thriving.

He got everything he wanted.

He left Steve behind so he could.

"I guess we should at least talk a little," Eddie finally said, voice much quieter than Steve had ever heard it before.

"Sure."

Steve sat on the other end of the couch from Eddie, looked straight ahead so he could avoid making eye contact.

"I don't know if you keep up with me or anything-"

"I don't."

It was harsh, harsher than Steve actually meant to be. He saw Eddie flinch out of the corner of his eye, resisted the urge to apologize.

"Um. Okay, yeah. Makes sense." Eddie sighed. "I'm kind of. Okay, so I'm in Hawkins for more than just visiting Wayne."

"Okay."

"I'm here because the label isn't happy with my writer's block and they told me to take a couple months and write an album or they'll consider the contract voided."

"Mhm."

Eddie was bouncing his leg, an old anxious habit that clearly hasn't gone away.

"I'm hoping being back here will help. But I also just. I want to spend time with the people I care about. I miss everyone."

"Yeah, I bet."

"I miss you."

Steve's head turned to see Eddie looking at him, unshed tears building in his eyes.

"Eddie-"

"I know I have no right to say it. Or to even be here. I didn't just leave you, I left everyone. And I barely gave any explanation and I've barely kept in touch with anyone except Wayne and Dustin because I'm scared. I'm so overwhelmed all the time and I have so much pressure on me and I didn't want any of that I just wanted to make music and see the world. I haven't slept more than a few hours in two years. When I told our manager, he said to start taking cocaine. Taking it! Like it's medication! And I did actually use it a few times to stay awake. I hate it, hate the way I feel after, but it was that or fall asleep during photoshoots. And this sounds like I'm whining, but I'm just trying to keep it together long enough to make sure Wayne doesn't see how much I hate this and how much I just want to be here playing music at stupid bars and going fishing with him even though I hate fishing and playing D&D with the guys and kissing you."

Steve was biting back his own tears as Eddie's fell.

No matter what, no matter how he felt, no matter what Eddie had done to hurt him, it still hurt to see someone he loved hurting like this.

And wasn't that a thought.

He knew he still loved Eddie, he always would.

He just didn't think he would ever have to face it head on like this.

"Eddie, I." Steve cleared his throat. "I'm sorry things aren't what you wanted, but. I can't. I can't let you in again. I spent a year trying to tell myself you'd be back. A year watching your every move in newspapers and tv interviews. Waiting for the day you'd mention me or come visit and apologize for leaving like you did. But you didn't and I had to accept that. I had to force myself to believe that you didn't care because thinking that you did hurt worse. I couldn't love you the way I wanted to, so I had to tell myself you didn't love me, even though I'm pretty sure you did. I'm pretty sure you still do. But it wasn't enough then and it wouldn't be enough now, and I can't let myself settle for not enough. I've done it before, you know how that fucked me up. I can't let it happen again."

Eddie nodded once, then stood up.

He was leaving again, Steve knew it.

But then, Eddie sunk to his knees in front of Steve, placed his shaking hands on Steve's knees.

"If you tell me to stay, I will."

"Eddie-"

"No. Please. Tell me to stay. I don't want to go back and I need you to tell me to stay. Even if you never talk to me again, I need you to be the reason I give the guys when I tell them I can't do it anymore. They'll understand if it's you. They always knew it would be you."

"Stay. You need to stay."

Eddie sobbed as he dropped his head down, resting his forehead against Steve's knee.

Steve placed a hand on the back of his head, biting back a sob as Eddie's hands squeezed his legs.

Steve couldn't do this right now, he didn't think Eddie could either. Emotions were too high, Dustin was in the room down the hall, and Steve knew there would be yelling, and crying, and words said that might lead to regret.

But it was something to have Eddie here, something to have him begging for Steve to be the one to tell him to stay, something to know that Eddie missed him the way Steve missed them.