#I've literally never wanted a tattoo before this and now I can't wait to have it

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

[namorslutfanfiction]

ANOTHER BLURB ASK GAME

Send me a number and a character (Rafa, Alejandro, Namor, and Tenoch) and I will write a little blurb. 500words or less tbh.

Please keep it one prompt and one character per ask. But you can request multiple times.

“Want a massage? I've been told that I’m very good with my hands” *gets a pillow thrown at them*

“YOU ASSHOLE” “HEY what did I do” “WHAT DIDNT YOU DO?? I WAS HALF WAY THROUGH AN EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PRESENTATION and I took my jacket off and the CEO of the company is asking me if I got hurt because I have a bruise on my neck.”

”would it kill you to be gentle?” “if you didn’t want it to hurt, you PROBABLY SHOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN STABBED IN THE FIRST PLACE”

“I think all the bottles in this bar must be jealous, cause your beauty is the most intoxicating thing in this place.”

"Look, I was just innocently trying to mind my own business and have a drink when an angel walked by and took my breath away. That's you. You're the angel."

I made a promise to protect you. That doesn't change now that I hate you.

What would you have preferred? Drowning or burning? That was all you had left if I hadn't saved you.

You are safe here. I know that you think you have to be the one protecting everyone else. But here, I protect you.

If you turn away, if you walk out of this room, you sign your death sentence. Do not make me kill one who I dreamt of a whole future with.

Did you just moan? He literally just walked in and your first response is to moan?

Why do you still have that? *nervously tries to hide object*

Beg me. Beg me to make you mine.

You have no idea what you do to me? You could have me at your beck and call. Just ask.

I know this isn't what you had planned. But I am happy that it happened.

I would die for you. I would kill for you. Is that not enough?

Look at me. Don't think about any of them. Look at me, my love. Breathe. I am here, I will always be here. No one will hurt you.

Horrific. Honestly, it's just disgusting. I'm not wearing that.

God has favorites and so do I. And guess what you're neither of ours.

I'm really going to need you to stop glowering so loudly. It's giving me a migraine.

You have no sense of self preservation if you have come here to yell at me!

A lot has changed. But one thing that won't is how much I love you.

"Who did this?!" "It's none of your business!" "YOU are my business. Now tell me."

I imagined our reunion being a bit warmer than this.

Did you get a tattoo? Oh God.

Will you hurry up? I haven't got all day to lay here.

If you break my heart I will make your life a living hell. So Don't. :)

Nothing, I was not distracted by your (insert body part here), not at all. You're being weird.

"Is that?" "Yes" "Wait here." "Don't-"

"I know I'm not your first love but let me be your last."

"You can't win against someone who has nothing to lose."

"I'm gonna kiss you, just go with it okay."

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

"Obviously you've mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit"

"I'm gonna pack up and go straight to hell now, I guess."

"She knows all my secrets, except one: that I'm in love with her."

"Don't do it, don't lie to me again."

"You aren't cold?" "Why would I be cold?" "Nevermind."

"Fuck you." "if you insist."

"So is this a costume or do you normally look like this?"

"I know every inch of your body and I know for a fact that scar wasn't there before."

"You're more dangerous than you look."

"Scoot over, you're hogging the bed."

"Run, don't look back. Promise me you won't look back."

"I can't believe you just did that. You actually hit me."

"Blood looks good on you."

"What have you done to me? How did you make me care so much about you?"

"I'm angry, I'm livid, I'm absolutely fucking furious with you. But there's no point to it. You'll never change and I'll still love you."

"You deserved better than what you had, so I gave you better."

"Say that again."

"I admire you. You're stronger than I am."

"Keep your eyes closed and don't make a sound."

"The man who wins your heart will be so lucky."

"My family thinks we are dating."

"Let me go! I swear to god if you don't let me go I'll kill every last one of you!"

"Marry me." "Well that wasn't very romantic." "I didn't think we had the luxury."

"Can I love you?"

"I'm not going to leave you."

"I gave up on you a long time ago."

"I don't want to know."

"But I want to hear you sing."

Person A finds out Person B loves them after eaves dropping on a conversation.

"will i see you again?" "i can't make any promises..."

"i can't take this.." "i want you to have it. think of me."

"I didn't think I would ever feel like this about anyone."

“You do this thing with your hands when you get nervous.  Why?”

“You’re right.  I don’t understand.  I may never fully understand what you’re going through.  But please let me help you get through this.”

"This is all your fault. If only you weren’t so fucking beautiful and smart and funny and perfect, I might not have fallen for you.

"You have a pretty smile, you should really do it more often."

"Admit it! You've liked me all along!"

"I thought you died!"

"You've been smiling an awful lot lately."

"Why do you do that? You always do shit like this and confuse me."

"You're in my personal space." "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Don't leave me, I'm scared."

He just screams internally about being touched but tries to act cool on the outside.

“I don’t know, maybe you should hop off my dick for a second. Just a thought.” “That’s not what you said last night.”

“…Why are you staying the night?” “Because it’s late and I’m feeling too tired to drive/walk home. Now scoot the fuck over, someone needs to get their sleep.”

“You’re going to fucking break me one day.” “That’s my goal, sweetheart.”

“do you ever think about what life would be like for us if things were different?”

"Take my hand." "Why?" "Would you just trust me for one?"

“not that i’m not enjoying this, but could you move your hands?”

“your heart’s beating really fast, i can hear it.”

 “you’ve been staring at me for like thirty seconds, what are you thinking about?”

“So I hear you’re into pain?”

“What the fuck?  Do that again.  I liked it.”

“Don’t say that, you know I can’t say no to you when you’re like this.” 

“How am I supposed to not read into things if you keep treating me like this?”

“i wish we’d have more time.”

“Your flirt game is so bad, no wonder you’re still single.” “My flirt game isn’t bad, and the person I like is a fucking idiot. That’s why I’m still single.” “…Okay, but why are you looking at me like that?”

“…You’re staring.” “I was not.” “I could feel the intensity of it, even with my eyes closed.” 

"If you think that's going to work on me, you're wrong."

"I hope you know that I did this all for you."

"Regret you? How could I ever regret one of the best decisions of my life?"

"Of course I'm jealous!"

"my hands are freezing, just let me warm them on you for a second."

"Come here, baby. I want to try something."

"Just relax. It's my turn to pamper you."

"You really have this whole gruff exterior going but deep down, you're a softie."

"You're like a cinnamon roll full of poison."

“Do you have to leave? Can’t you stay?”

It's a long list friends, happy requesting.

[thursdayinspace]

twenty questions for fanfic writers

I was tagged by the amazing @oohnotvery, thank you!! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10, but I orphaned my old account several years ago when I left fandom for a bit. I don't know how many I had back then, over 100 for sure.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

37.724

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files. There's most likely going to be some Star Trek in there eventually, and I ventured into other realms in the past, but right now, exclusively The X-Files.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

under construction (Torchwood)

wild side (The X-Files)

in conclusion (The X-Files)

the ghost circle (Torchwood)

the physics of being alive (Torchwood)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. If I ever forget, I'm sorry! I love every comment and it's important to me to say thank you.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

held safely in the dark (Torchwood). It's not even all that angsty by that fandom's standards, I suppose.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Good question. I rarely ever write unhappy endings. Fanfic is my happy place. But I think the one I most enjoyed writing because there was NO angst at all was in conclusion (The X-Files).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Ohhhh my god one time in a different fandom on my old AO3, somebody left a scathing, vitriolic comment on one of my fics, but obviously meant to do it anonymously -- only they forgot to log out first. By the time I read it they had deleted their entire account. That made the whole thing actually funny in context.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. What kind? Hmm. Mostly pretty plain and boring. It's all about the feeeeeelings.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I used to. Back in the good old livejournal days I loved a good crossover. I wrote a Stargate Atlantis/Firefly crossover once, that might have been the craziest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I'm...not sure? I think so? But that would have been like 15 years ago, I'm not sure anymore whether that actually happened or not.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! And it's so much fun. I've had a few co-writers over the years. Once life is less crazy, I might be tempted to give it another shot.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Mulder and Scully. There's a reason my tag for them is "the ship of all time."

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None, currently. ...I'm. Hold on. That can't be true. But I truly can't think of a single one. I can't remember the last time that happened. This doesn't happen. But no, not one.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Because it's fun, and through years and years of practice. One of my first betas drilled "show, don't tell" into my head to the point where I feel it's permanently tattooed onto the backs of my eyelids and I see it every time I blink when I'm writing. And in my very specific case, that meant learning to make people use their words. BUT it has helped me getting rid of unnecessary exposition, which at the same time made me get a lot of practice with dialogue instead. (Let's ignore the fact that I literally just posted a fic that has almost no dialogue at all...)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action. I can't do it, I'm sorry. Whose hand goes where when? Does this guy need three arms to do what I just told him to? Wait, you were just over there, how did you get here suddenly? Anyone who can write action scenes has powerful magic and I envy you and please teach me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm bilingual, so I could do that, I suppose? The need for it has never come up. Sounds fun though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stargate Atlantis!! I still miss that fandom. Ahh the livejournal nostalgia is strong tonight...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It's usually always the last one I posted, but I'm gonna say in conclusion. I'm very fond of that one.

Tagging...I don't know who has done this and who hasn't! @mr-iskender if you want to?

[possibilistfanfiction]

your latest rebloghad me snickering i never have understood the obsession with her. anything youve been listening to lately that you rec for someone looking for something new?

ok before anyone comes for me lmfao i do want to say that i generally find her music mostly fine, sometimes good, occasionally a song will make me absolutely feral for no discernible reason lol. i think she's an eco-terrorist basically but like... her music is fine & ppl being normal fans is... normal lol

what is BEYOND to me is when ppl will literally like... post abt her like she's their friend, or defend her music when like sometimes artists u like make mediocre shit! that's fine! lol like i have two lorde tattoos & i do think overall as a project solar power is beautiful & cool but was it earth-shattering like pure heroine or melodrama? no! which is fine! i don't need it to be! i also have no idea what lorde is doing day to day lol

also i will say i love pop. i love being a fan of pop. i think the world runs on pop music & it should! i named my dog after charli xcx! not everything i listen to (or consume in general) aligns with my personal politic of a free palestine & a free world! my ultimate weakness is drag race! so the level of insanity surrounding taylor swift (& beyonce tbh) by (at least in my community) gay white men (or gay men trying to perform whiteness / gain proximity to it) is just... bonkers! i could go on about this forever but i will not lol. [if u like podcasts tho, a bit fruity did an ep on the political power of taylor swift which is quite interesting. their episode becoming a woman with miss benny also talks abt gayness, femininity, & pop (in an illuminating way!!) -- check them out if u want!!]

ANYWAY SORRY. some stuff i'm currently loving:

tierra whack's new album whack world. super funky, smart, heartfelt, she's the weirdest in the game & we are all better for it

BRAT ERA BABEY aka charli xcx's new singles. my favorite is club classics atm but B2b & von dutch (& the remix w/ addison rae) are summer bops. can't wait to be drunk on the beach listening to them

constantly going back to ethel cain's preacher's daughter, especially when i'm in nature w/ char. it's one of my favorite albums of all time; so fucking beautiful. hymns.

as the world's no1 bangerz apologist, & bc of jojo siwa being absolutely delulu & kind of iconic lately, i've been returning to 2013 miley for a laugh, & bc that album is so good. feels rly sad now? idk. her cover of jolene ate so hard no one will ever come close, sry

random but a cover of breezeblocks by taylor rae

honestly also whatever i loved II MOST WANTED lmao. it's gay. the only reason ppl are saying it's not is bc beyonce is on the track. it's gay i will die on this hill

lastly listening to a lot of lonnie holley

[buttonupzebraa]

Doing a little happy dance in the corner because this is the healthiest I've ever been both physically and mentally.

I got the blood testing done and I'm waiting for results so we know which immune disorder I have and how to manage it. We have all my emergency meds and my lungs are doing okay. I did an obscene amount of cardio while moving and my blood oxygen was fine and I only needed my inhaler once.

Mentally, my goodness I could sob, this is a dream. My meds work, trauma therapy works, I am literally healing from trauma that would cripple me and unalive me this time of year and I'm mourning so many things. I AM CELEBRATING THE HOLIDAYS. Not having panic attacks, not laying in bed for days unable to move or respond, I am doing the triggering thing of moving during the triggering time of the holidays, AND I GOT MY PARTNER AND I HOLIDAY LATTES TO CELEBRATE OUR NEW HOME.

27 YEARS of waking up every day feeling suicidal, living with the mindset that I can't get close to anyone because I'm going to take myself from this world. Having friends and family blow up my phone if I've been silent for 48 hours. My partner's blood running cold if she hears any door lock behind me in this house. Look at me now. I want to LIVE. I'm looking around this new house thinking about how my dog will grow old in here and our children will grow up in here and how I'm hoping to be blessed to see it.

I'm thinking of tattoo appointments, if I'll lose my hair by 40, designing a guest room for my friends and partners can visit. I sat with my dog in the windowsill looking at cars drive by just to enjoy his little hobbies with him.

Depression is a bitch. CPTSD is a demon from hell, and every time people told me "it gets better" my immediate thought was, "Yeah. How? It's been so bad for so long."

These illnesses are real, they kill people. But my God there is hope. There is another side to suffering and that is healing. It is going to get better in a way that is impossible to imagine because you've never felt this good before.

Don't stop fighting, don't stop talking about the horrors you have lived. There is help, support, and a life waiting on the other side. The other side of this mental illness is a full life, not 6 feet under.

You can do this! Hang on a bit longer.

[inthelifeofab]

This life isn't what we created... this isn't the life I have always dreamed of. Our life was always supposed to include you. My life was always supposed to include you.. You weren't supposed to leave us behind. But you choose a life that doesn't include us. THIS can't be real life.... Right?

Am I just supposed to stop caring about you because you want nothing to do with us? Am I supposed to pretend I'm happy that you're not around? What am I supposed to do? I "we" have already told you how we felt and that got us nowhere, apparently. What else do you want from us? Our lives are NOT better without you in it. We miss you so much. I miss you so much. I'm starting to resent your dad for not fighting to bring you back home to us. Why don't we get a second chance to make things right? Why don't you ever reach out to us? How can you go from being such a big part of our lives to completely shutting us out?

Not sure if you just totally resent me for wanting to have my own biological kids. But you have always known we wanted to add to our family. And we thought you always wanted siblings. Us wanting to add to our family didn't mean we loved you any less. It didn't mean you were being replaced. It took us 10 years to get Alvey. Im just sorry it took us so long to add to our family. I have always dreamed of being a "mommy". My heart had been longing to be a fulltime parent and wanted to feel needed when you weren't there. The weeks you weren't with us were SOO incredibly hard on me. I counted down the days till you were back with us. I hated doing things that we were supposed to be doing as a family. I hated making your favorite foods, i hated being home and you weren't there. I hated doing anything that was supposed to involve your kids and you weren't there. I missed you so much when you were at your mother's. I miss you so much more now. I wish so much that you would just reach out and say you would like a relationship with us again. I don't just want you back in my like... i NEED you back in my life.

After we lost our baby in 2018. I hit a really deep dark depression.. i hate everything and everyone, i hated life... execpt you, you kept me sane. Every day after surgery you were right by my side, holding my hand and laying your head on my arm. YOU helped me through it. I felt we got even closer than we already were. 2021 I finally felt healed enough to want to try for another. And I wanted you to be involved during the whole process. AND let me just say I never wanted you to feel left out of anything. I wanted to include you in everything.. i literally dictated when we had Alvey based off when we had you. I wanted you there. WE were a family of 3 about to be a family of 4. Like i said before.. i hated leaving you out when you were at your mothers. And even now you haven't lived with us in over 6 months and I still hate leaving you out. Because you are our daughter and it just doesn't make sense for us to share a "family" photo and you not be in it.

"You grew in my heart, not in my belly" Your tattoo means more to me than you will ever know. I have always dreamed of having twinboys and a little girl. Alvey was chosen by me.. solely because i HAD my girl. I didn't want another girl to take away the love I had for you and the beautiful bond we had created. I wanted our girl days.. to stay OUR girls days.. they were very special to me. But never in my life did I dream of having to share my daughter with another woman or that i would be a bonus mom to my daughter. And i especially never thought I could love another womans kid. But I have loved you since the moment you walked into my life. I have cared for you as if you were my own for so long. I've kissed boos, wiped tears, picked you up when you were down, taugh you life lessons, been your shoulder to cry on, your ear to vent to, your hand to hold, your lap to cuddle, your biggest fan, and I have always been there for you and i still am... I'm here just waiting for you to come back into our lives.... longer than just a few moments.. but I'll always be there for you. I'm literally a call away... doesn't matter day or night. i will answer your call. I will be there for you always. No matter where we are in life. Doesn't matter if we havent talked in months... If you ever need anything at all ever... just call me and I will be there. No questions asked.

[seiwas]

SLOWBURN IS ALWAYS SUCH A GOOD TROPE so nice to get lost in and build relationship (and develop feelings 👀) and aslfasdlkfjsdf slowburn i love slowburn

AND OMG COLLEGE AU'S now that i'm actually in uni now i have such a deep love for college au's like that is what keeps me going i'm ngl AND CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM JUST WAITING OUTSIDE THE BUILDING FOR YOUR CLASS TO END SO THAT YOU CAN EAT LUNCH TOGETHER??? or studying together (reminds me of another vid i saw but don't have saved this time where the bf tells his gf like babe i love you but there's no way you're passing this test AND I FEEL LIKE THAT IS SO IWA HAHAHAHAH) living together in college au's coming home to each other agh i love it

OH MY GOD THE BODYGUARD AND MAFIA AU'S this totally calls for iwa in like all formal wear and tattoo sleeves. yes. HE WOULD LOOK SO HOT and his piercing eyes as he glares down at anyone who even breathes near you

and speaking of bodyguard/mafia au's...... THE ROYALTY AU'S????? WITH HIM AS THE CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD OR READER'S PERSONAL GUARD OR KNIGHT OR SLDFKWOERJSLFJ god i'm such a sucker for royalty au's

and omg omg omg underground boxer iwa has my jaw on the FLOOR please this reminds kinda of that detective conan movie where ran's best friend (the korean name is bora but i can't remember the jp name lasjfalsjdf) has a bf and he KEPT THE BANDAID 'bora' GAVE HIM HE DIDN'T EVEN NEED ANYMORE AFTER THE CUT (or whatever wound it was) HEALED HE JUST KEPT IT BECAUSE IT WAS FROM HIS GF (bora)

when he's mid-match and he thinks of returning home to you in his mind and now any soreness or fatigue he felt moments earlier disappears and he's reinvigorated asdlfkasjdalskf and wins :,)

FWB IWA OMG okay i'm ngl i am so intrigued too CAN WE MAKE IT CLICHE AND HE WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN WITH YOU PLEASE CAN WE PLEASE (OR WHAT IF WE COMBINE LMFAO THE SLOWBURN FRIENDS TO FWB TO LOVERS when reader and iwa grew up together and reader's been crushing since middle school but iwa goes down a... different path and moves away but they're reunited at uni and he's so different from what reader remembers but he's still the same and when he makes a move reader doesn't hesitate to accept even with his... differences and yeah)

OIKAWA'S LITTLE SISTER SLDKFJSDFLSKFSF oikawa getting butthurt like 'do you come to see me or her' with that pout and crossed arms asldfasdflkjsf

koi... u r literally feeding our iwa brainrot rn PLS

same!!! i love slowburn a lot bc of how gradual and natural it feels 🥺 either that or just give me the established relationship alr 😭 i think i fall into either extremes shdfsjfa

YEA COLLEGE AUs!! oh koi he really would wait outside your building for you 😭 would drive you around if he had a car too 😭 and that vid u saw omFG HE RLLY WOULD SAY THAT while studying in the library and u're always distracted bc of him 🥹 but also... u r a Chronic Procrastinator, and every single time he watches the same cycle happen 😭 and he tries to get you through it each time 😭 being roommates would also be so so cute 🥹

YES EXACTLY U GET THE VISION 😭 iwa in a SUIT. my god. and the TATTOOS... i feel like i've read one before where it was seijoh4 and lET ME TELL U . I LITERALLYASBASDFB. iwa gives very guard dog energy and i think putting him into a bodyguard/mafia role would play into that a lot....

am familiar with detective conan but haven't watched so i am nodding along as i am reading what u said 😭😭😭 but that's so cute the concept of leaving the bandaid on even if it's healed 😭 i think he rlly would be the type to downplay injuries tho sjhdasj i think it comes with the fact that he's knowledgeable of how far he can push his limits 😭

koi. ofc we are making this fwb cliche. i can never be satisfied with an fwb if one of them doesn't fall helplessly in love with the other 😭 the slowburn friends to lovers and fwb is TORTURE oh my god 😭 the fact that there's so much /history/ there KOI PLS omg no YOU ARE SPARKING IDEAS FOR ME. PLSPSLPSLPS NOOOO. the fact that there's so much trust already established, and how reader is alr in love so will practically do anything with and for him 😭 oh gosh when he makes a move he better be SINCERE or else i will cry...

i think it could very much go in the direction of they accidentally kiss maybe and iwaizumi feels a little oh it's different, but he can't put his finger on it, only that he likes it. they talk about it obviously, but bc reader doesn't want to ruin anything, they say that it's no biggie! (even tho they're dying inside bc they're in love w him 😭), and tries to play it off by saying it was silly and fun! and iwaizumi, being the blunt man he is, literally says that he liked it and enjoyed, but reader takes it as him trying to hint at a kinda-fwb arrangement and not as a 'i could have feelings for you' type of thing 😭 (all just very miscomm) so. reader tells him that if he wants to keep doing it they can sahjdbjasd and so they do 😭😭😭 & of course somewhere down the line, iwa develops feelings but doesn't fully realise it...

UNTIL reader can't take it anymore, starts to drift from him, and he NOTICES and is confused, so confronts them and is straight up like: what's wrong, did i do something? and reader tries to deny it but iwa hates it so he's like: if you don't like spending time with me anymore, just tell me. it's okay. and reader is looks at him like r u srs rn... and says: i like spending time with you too much. that's the problem. and he's confused bc hOW CAN THAT BE A PROBLEM?? HE LIKES IT TOO...??? until reader sighs and drops it onto him: hajime i've been in love with you since we were kids. i thought doing this with you would be good because at least i'd get to have you, even if it's just like this, y'know? and iwaizumi stares back, expression unreadable and he doesn't say anything so reader shifts around, nervous, rambling: sorry i just disappeared on you, but it would have been unfair if i stuck around hiding that i always wanted more.

(sorry i keep switching between you/reader omg but i basically mean the same thing)

and he's just. like. really frustrated? bc it was real to him? and how could he have missed the fact that he didn't make it clear to you? that he was developing feelings too? how could he have possibly not communicated that? not made it obvious? so he goes: what if it was always more to me? and reader is like. what. WDYM. WHAT. and this guy... THIS GUYYYYY has the audacity to LAUGH bc of how confused ure looking rn AND IT'S ANNOYING bc even when your feelings are in a twist! and you're hurting! and aching! you're still so in love with him, especially when he looks like this. boyish smile, eyes crinkling, straight teeth peeking through the lips you still can't believe you've come to be familiar with. then he takes your hands, thumbs rubbing circles on your knuckles, before interlacing your fingers together. he looks up, dark peach blooming on his cheeks and olive green staring back at you: i love you too. sorry i didn't make it clearer, i thought you already knew. AND HE chuckles at it too and THAT LITTLE SMILE ON HIS FACE oh that little smile on his face mAKES YOU SO ANGRY and so!! SO!! so!!! relieved. and in love. shocked. enamoured by this boy in front of you you've loved your entire life.

tears well up in your eyes and you're trying so hard not to laugh and smile because you know that's what he wants, so you pout, and frown and tell him he's unfair, that it would have saved a lot of trouble if he told you earlier on. but he tells you the same, that you could have told him too and you just!! hate how smartass he is!! how he's right!! almost all the time!! so you playfully push him away only for him to pull you close. and you're against his chest as he hugs you tight and you can hear his heartbeat!!! how it beats loudly, a bit faster than his resting heart rate. then he whispers by your ear, vulnerable, raw: come back please, i miss you. and you hug him tighter, nodding, words insufficient for everything you feel right now.

AND I sorry it got so LONG OH MY GOD SDFBASDJFBASFBASJF koi u took me away w that one literally WROTE An idea duMP hJBDSJAFK but oikawa's little sister yEA ! he rlly would pout 😭 would try to give iwa shit for it maybe like the first 30 minutes after finding out 😭 tries to be all BIG BRO but iwa stares at him deadpan and is like: do you really think i'd hurt her and oikawa thinks about it, tries to rebut, but his mind blanks bc if there's anyone he CAN trust w his sister he knows it's iwa 🥺 then he resumes being the clingy bestfriend and big bro he is shdbfhgsadbjfask "u don't love me anymore u love iwa-chan more 🥺" PLSSHABDFJSFk

-- also koi i will respond to the reply u sent to my ask here just so everything is collated sjdbgajd --

i totally get what u mean by how u read x reader!! i don't really insert myself in x reader fics also sdfnjs i envision a blank person i think jhsdb (same with when i write x reader! i think of a blank person embellished with details i put abt them shdfbja like col reader!) but aaah i'm so glad you enjoyed reading it bb thank u so much u r soso sweet 🥹

[2004videovixxxen]

random late night thoughts i have about my ex that i should come back to when i feel like i'm missing him

not my ex hating my cole tattoo because it's another man tatted on me? the tattoo is done poorly and it's literally an outline of his head and hair from like.. 9 years ago lmao after we broke up he dead had the nerve to say "yeah i like j cole now" ?????????? little dick energy fr, meanwhile, the guy i like has a cole acronym tatted on his arm (i was going to get it tatted but never got around to it) and we took a picture of our tattoos together and talked about how much we love j. cole and how his music inspires us to be better people. (my ex asked me why would i say i love j. cole and i was like i mean it in the way that i love what his music does for me, how it makes me feel, the way he writes and tells a story, not in the way that i want to fuck him) he didn't care. i can't wait to get this damn signature tattoo covered up, i didn't want to honestly but the way i need to stop being the only one who cares!!!! (and not me and my crush getting wine drunk and he asked me "would you ever get someone's name tatted" and i was like "ummmmm hello!" and he was like "i was trying to figure out what that meant" and we laughed and he was like "yeah you def gotta cover that up and do mine") lmao i love how opposite they are emotionally because i need a lover boy heavyyyyyyyy like YES BE ALL ABOUT ME AND DONT THINK ABOUT IT FOR THE NEXT FUCKING 8 YEARS !!!!!!!!!

2. omg i just thought about this man waiting til after we broke up to say "and there were women who were telling me they were waiting on him to be single" like??????? when men were telling me that shit i would tell him cause i thought it was hilarious but whole time he had people saying this to him and never thought to share???? why did he keep so much shit to himself and wait til after we broke up to express his feelings???? why is he so emotionally underdeveloped omfg.. i asked one thing of him and that was to not tell me things after the fact!!!!!!!! cause he literally waited like 3 months to tell me the other half of the story of his roommate trying to fuck him where he said "im not gonna lie her pu$$y was wet" HOW WOULD U KNOW???????? did i get cheated on bro???? bUT HE LEFT ME CAUSE IM FUCKING GORGEOUS lol k

3. oooffff how about him and i sharing porn with each other, well honestly, i think i shared some things i've watched maybe once or twice, but i've seen on more than numerous occasions what he was into and it never bothered me- until i also just remembered that my sexuality was a big factor in our breakup and the only reason i was oozing sexy vibes was because he stopped having sex with me on the regular like we did! and when we talked about it he made it seem like i was obsessed with sex or only liked him for his dick which is crazy cause i liked him before i ever fucked him, i loved him before any of that, it just grew into a bigger love and became romantic. he was the one who always tried to have sex when we were friends.. he's the one that used to send me videos of him fucking a different woman every night... he's the one that initiated a threesome between us.... he's the one that continued to follow women that he fucked and only told me about it bc i was going somewhere they would be at.... i'm not upset or bothered actually just finding myself having little realizations here and there about how much more i loved that man than he ever claimed to love me. and i know this because i put up with SO much BEFORE us ever getting together thinking "this really fucking hurts right now but it'll be worth it because one day you'll be together" and THAT was actually delusional. not saying i was perfect but aside from me going crazy ONE night, LOL, i never put him through the ringer of [making him feel like i was finally ready to be with him and then go and tell him i actually might be getting into a relationship.. with someone else... even though i told him many times it's not for me right now.......... and then when i let him know a year later that i'm actually forreal forreal ready and i want to be exclusive... he finds out i'm still fucking other men... that i had just met the week AFTER telling him i want to be together].......... LOL yeah, i was suuuuuuuuuuch a dumb bitch for this guy like the least he coulda did was buy me something nice! asking to go out to dinner was just too much omg ???? how you say you're my best friend and don't know i'm literally okay with some cheap snacks and wine in the park???? idc just wanted to spend time and NOT ONLY when it came to his god damn music.... i literally slept on an air mattress that constantly deflated annnnddddd a twin size (he is 6'2 i am 5'8) where i basically cuddled the wall AND DINNER WAS TOO MUCH??????? yall????

4. he complained about money as if i didn't have a job too???? but me offering to pay didn't sit right with him so i honestly stopped but he never shared with me his true thoughts about it like i said he kept a lot to himself, how tf am i supposed to be the best partner i can be if u dont fucking tell me anything??????

5. when he talked about moving into a new place it was "his place"... we were dating for almost TWO YEARS but we couldn't live together because according to him it was smarter for us to live separately............................... i'm shocked i didn't accuse him of cheating on me right there because bitch what???? i was at his place all the time with ROOMMATES so u getting ur own spot isnt an invitation for me to move in?????? i can pay bills??? but again goes back to the whole "keeps everything to himself" he could talk about his skeptical thoughts on irrelevant shit for 4 hours straight but the real life shit? LOL K

6. to be honest...... the worst thing he ever did to me was give up on our relationship. he gave up on it because i sexted some dude, no i didn't send nudes i just suggested sexual acts between us, it never happened tho. and this was WHILE WE WERE ALREADY BROKEN UP????? he went through my phone while i was asleep. granted, i did the same to him and found WORSE shit than what i did and I FORGAVE HIM, we had gotten back together a month after this, and broke up again like 3 days later because i hit him in the chest because he refused to talk to me?????? again with the keeping shit in. and then later proceeded to say "it didn't even hurt me" after making me feel completely awful for doing that, cause i dont do that but the way he wouldn't speak was getting to me. after this break-up is when i messged that guy, about 2 weeks later, because he gave me everything i gave him back and he took my key to his place, he didn't want to see me and wanted to talk on the phone about what we should do and that phone conversation went like this "we should do our own thing right now and i can't be mad at you if you wanna fuck other people, i might get my dick sucked you know but...." and what did he do? he got mad at me MESSAGING someone saying my sexuality got the best of me. okay. i only messaged him because i thought we were really over this time, i was two glasses of wine in and looking to be entertained, that's all. but the thing i realize now.... when he did the same thing to me, i didn't give up on us. i knew in my heart that it was just dumb talk and it didn't mean anything to him and that what we had could withstand those stupid messages, but apparently he didn't feel the same about me. i get it, i do. he just wasn't with it and that's okay, i'm not mad at him, i'm just expressing that i think it's dumb how he went about things. BUT this is my last time adding to this list because overall brandon was an amazing friend, my best friend, a great boyfriend, a wonderful lover, talented artist, devoted to his family, very goal-oriented and more more more. at the end of the day, i would not want to block his blessings by making him feel he HAD to stay with me LOL. i just never really got to talk to anyone about the things he did to me because i didn't want to tarnish his name or have anyone thinking he's a bad person because he's not, so hence why i've been ranting on here about him so much cause no one fucking reads this shit lmao so i think i'm done, unless i see him in my dreams again. i only want to focus on the present moment and what's to come, asé

[wanderingjotun]

Logic brain: Don’t get a tattoo yet; you’ve only been contemplating it for three months. Give it time and don’t rush into it because, you know, it’s a permanent thing and this design is very much tied to a spirit you’ve technically only know for a little over a year.

The rest of my brain: Fuck that, I’m doing this ASAP because I love it, it’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to actually have on my skin, it ties to my spirit family in general, and it’s a fabulous reminder that I can overcome my mental illness and my depression and anxiety don’t define me.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Player/ 13

Pairing- San x Named Reader

Includes- Fluff

Series Masterlist

J POV

Biting my lip, I look at the lacy green bralette I'm holding

Should I buy it?

Should I not?

I don't know

'It's for San', I think

Holding on to it, I go to the section with shorts

Maybe this isn't a good idea

I just don't know

San and I have been together for a little over three months

And he hasn't tried anything sexually

I mean yeah I hated when he hit on me but that was before we were together

I'm his girlfriend now

He can hit on me all he wants

I want to be with him, have sex with him, make him feel good

But he doesn't do anything, just kiss me

He stops before anything could possibly happen

Like last week when we were playing video games

He was hard, I felt him but still he stopped everything

And I can't help think that it's me

Maybe the way I dress doesn't turn him on

I mean he had sex with fucking strangers, with any girl but he won't with me

It has to be me

Something about me doesn't attract him like that

And I think it's my clothes

Honestly I dress like a nerd

Graphic and band tshirts, jeans, regular shorts, sneakers or flat shoes

I'm not flashy or really show any part of my body

Unless it's a swimsuit because I'm at the beach or pool

And the girls that San used to be with....well they wore revealing and skimpy clothes

And maybe that's what San likes

What he wants me to look like but he'll never say it

Since he changed so much just to get me I figure I can do this for him

And to be honest, I love him

I actually fell in love with him

He is completely different from the player persona he used to have

He literally is the best boyfriend I could ever have as well as being the best one I've ever had

I've never been in love before and I if someone told me the first time I'd fall in love it would be with Choi, San, I'd have punched them

But I do love him and I'm happy about it

I'm just scared to tell him

I don't know how he feels

I mean I know he likes me a lot but I don't know if it's love for him

It's also kinda early in the relationship to say I love you

It's ok, I can love him silently

And I can try to dress the way he likes for him, to make him happy

Walking around the store, I grab more clothes then head to the dressing room

----------------------------------------------------

"I'll be there in five minutes naekkeo", San texts

"Ok"

Staring at the mirror, I feel so fucking uncomfortable

I have on a lacy black dress that barely covers my chest

And wedge sandals

God my chest looks huge

And the dress is kinda see through but I have to admit it looks good on me

But I never thought I'd ever wear anything like this

I also put lipstick on when I never do

And I kinda look like one of the girls that San used to be with

I hope he likes it

Turning to my bed I get my bag and then walk to my bedroom door

Or try to

I feel like Frankenstein clomping around

I don't know how to walk in heels

I tried to practice walking around my apartment but I kept having to hold on to the wall

I hope I don't fall and make a fool out of myself

I figure I should start heading downstairs

It might take me longer in these shoes

I leave the apartment, moving slowly down the hall

Holding onto the wall

God, how am I supposed to walk like this all night?

I usually don't take the elevator but I can't take the stairs

Then I definitely will fall and probably break something

When I get outside, I wait for San, leaning against the wall

My feet hurt already

I am not cut out for this

San's car pulls up front and I walk to him

Slowly

Stepping carefully off the curb, I open the door and slowly get it

"Hi naek-", he stops

I close the door and turn to him

His mouth is dropped open, his eyes huge, drinking me in

"Jo...what...big...how...oh my god", he stammers

I smirk, liking his reaction

"Where did you get that dress?"

"I bought it"

"Oh fuck. It's... you're so hot baby. Fuck"

I smile widely, "So I guess you like it?"

"Well yeah...wait you have tattoos?", he gapes

"Uh yes", I answer

I do have a few

Big ones

That I got on my body and not my arms

I need my arms free if I'm going to be a forensic scientist and be credible

Right now part of my back tattoo, shoulder tattoo and collarbone tattoo are showing

I haven't worn anything that shows them with him yet

This is the first time

"Is that a problem?", I ask, worried that it bothers him

"Not at all naekkeo. I'm just surprised that I'm finding out about them now"

"I uh...I didn't really wear anything that showed them off"

He nods, "That's true. So you have this pretty lace and roses on your shoulder. And your back?"

I nod, "Yeah, it takes up all of my back."

"Can I see the collarbone one?"

I turn to face him, showing the branches with the blue flowers

He raises his hand, his fingers, gently touching my skin, tracing the tattoo, his eyes on it

"Pretty", he whispers softly

He leans forward, his lips kissing the tattoo

My eyes closed, feeling his soft kisses

All I want is for him to keep kissing me and never stop

But of course that can't happen and he pulls away, breathing hard

"Do you have anymore than those?"

I nod, my own breathing a little labored

"Uh on the side of my uh boob and my lower stomach"

"Oh", he says, nodding, swallowing hard

"So uh what are we doing?", I ask

"Oh uh right. I got us tickets to see uh the new Spiderman move, then out to eat"

I smile, taking his hand

"Sounds fun baby"

He smiles, takes my hand and starts driving

---------------------------------------------------

"So we gonna go to Hongjoong's?", he asks me as we walk out of the restaurant

The movie was so good and of course San takes me to am amazing restaurant

He's the best

"Yeah baby. We can go", I agree

I look at the long walk back to the car, wincing

Great

My feet are killing me

"Wait here naekkeo. I'll get the car", San says

Oh thank god

"Are you sure?", I say instead

"Yeah baby. I'm sure", he smiles

"Ok"

His lips press against mine, fireworks still going off in my vision, months after getting together

I hope it never goes away

I lean against the wall of the restaurant watching him walk to the car

My legs hurt, my feet hurt

I haven't worn heels in so long and not for as many hours as I have been

Even sitting hurts because the shoes are strapped to my feet

And we're gonna be at Hongjoong's for who knows how long with my feet hurting

But he wants to go and I do too

I just wish I was wearing something different

His car is coming and I start to walk towards the parking lot to get closer

Wobbling, I carefully step off the curb

San pulls up a few feet away

I take small steps towards his car

Putting my foot down, I feel something under my shoe right before I put my full weight on it

Shit

My ankle gives out, rolling and slamming against the pavement

Fear fills my body as I realize I'm gonna fall

I try to right myself but I fall on my knees and hands, scraping them

Tears spring to my eyes from the pain and the stinging

"Joanne!", I hear San yell, the car door opening

He's at my side in a second, helping me sit up

"Naekkeo what hurts?"

"Mmm...my ankle. My knees. My hands"

My face is hot and I'm so embarrassed

"Come on naekkeo, lets get you in the car"

He scoops me up in his arms, carrying me to the car and putting me in the front seat

He leans closer, looking at my hands, checking me out

"Just scratches but no blood baby"

He looks at my knees

"Baby, you're knees are cut up. They're bleeding baby"

Fuck

Why me?

"I take you home and fix you up ok?"

I just nod, feeling like such an idiot

"Naekkeo, it's ok.", he says, moving my hair behind my shoulder, "I'll take care of you ok?"

"Ok"

He kisses my cheek, closes my door, gets in the driver seat, takes my hand and starts driving

----------------------------------------------------

San opens my door, carrying me inside my apartment

He puts me on the couch, then closes and locks my door

"Stay there naekkeo. I'll bring everything you need here ok"

"Yeah Sannie"

He disappears into my bathroom and I hear him rummaging around

While he's there, I take off the god awful shoes

My feet immediately feel better, laying flat on the carpet

Sam comes back out, "Actually baby, maybe you should come into the bathroom. For soap and water."

I nod, getting up

Pain flares in my ankle and I wince

"Ankle?"

I nod

"Ok naekkeo. I know how to make that feel better too"

He picks me up and starts walking

In the bathroom, he sits me on the edge of the bathtub and put my legs in it

He sits next to me and turns on the water so it's coming from the tub faucet instead of the shower head

He gently takes one of my legs and puts it under the water

It stings at first but then it's ok

San gently moves his hands over my knee, washing the blood away

Then he does the same thing to the other leg

And I'm in awe at how he's taking care of me

How gentle he is

If someone would of told me San was like this before we got together, I'd call them a dirty liar

He keeps on surprising me in such good ways

Taking the soap, he says, "It might sting baby"

"It's ok"

I know it will

Wetting the soap, he lathers his hands, then softly rubs it on my cuts

It does sting but it's not too bad

It's bearable

After cleaning the cuts, he rinses the soap off, making sure there's none left

Shutting off the water, he takes the hand towel and gently pats the cuts dry

He grabs stuff from the counter, uncapping the Neosporin ointment

He puts some on each cut, then spreads it around with his fingers, covering the wounds

"So you have Pokemon bandaids", he chuckles

"Oh yeah", I blush

"Which ones do you want?"

He holds out some bandaids with different Pokemon on them

"Is there Charmander?"

He smiles, "Is that your favorite Pokemon?"

I nod

I love Charmander and all his evolutions

"Charmander it is", he answers, opening the bandaid and putting it over the cuts one one leg

"Which other one do you want?"

"You pick", I tell him

I want to see which one he likes

"Hmmm.... Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Psyduck....oh my god is this baby Yoda?"

"Grogu", I correct

He looks up at me, narrowing his eyes, "Baby Yoda"

"Grogu"

"Baby Yoda"

"Grogu!"

"He will forever be known as baby Yoda! Fight me", he smiles

I laugh hard, "I can't fight you baby. Baby Yoda it is"

His stunning dimpled smile appears, "Yay. Baby Yoda it is"

"Ok you big baby", I giggle as he puts the bandaid on

"But I'm your big baby", he says

I run my fingers in his hair, pressing my lips against his in a small kiss, "Yeah you are"

He smiles again, leaning his forehead on mine

"And you're my little baby princess"

"That's a big title", I laugh

"It fits you"

If he thinks so then who am I to argue?

"Why don't you change into your pjs while I go to my car to get something for your ankle"

I raise my eyebrow, "You have a pharmacy in your car"

He laughs loudly, "No naekkeo. But I keep an extra gym bag in my car with clothes and some medical supplies in case anything happens and I'm not home. I'm a trainer after all and sometimes I have to deal with injuries like sprains"

Right

I keep forgetting he knows the muscles and injuries and how to treat them

Then I realize he says to change into pj's

"What about Hongjoong's place?"

"You can't go naekkeo with your ankle like that. It'll just make it worse if you try to keep walking on it."

"Oh uh ok"

He picks me up again and walk to my room

"I'll be right back"

He kisses the top of my head and I hear him leave

Taking out my grey hearts pajamas, I change, then limp back to the bathroom to wash the makeup off my face

"Naekkeo?"

"Bathroom Sannie", I call

He appears in the doorway, "Naekkeo you shouldn't be walking on your ankle. You should of waited for me to carry you"

I just shrug and when I finish, he carries me back to the living room, sitting me next to him on the couch

"You don't have to carry me everywhere baby"

"Of course I do. You're my princess and you're hurt", he insists, "And I like carrying you"

I giggle, "Ok Sannie"

He nods, "Gimmie your foot baby"

I hold out my leg and he puts my foot in his lap

"Aww baby, your foot is so swollen", he says with concern

Of course I have to wipe myself out wearing stupid shoes

He takes out a long elastic bandage and starts wrapping up my foot

"It's ok? Not too tight?", he asks as he goes

"No", I answer

Damn this bandage is long

The more he wraps the tighter it's getting

"Baby, it's uh a little tight"

"Ok baby, I'll fix it"

He unwraps it a few times, then ask me if it's tight now

I shake my head and he rewraps the bandage looser

When he's done he checks if it's ok for me and I say yes

Carefully moving my leg, he stands up, puts my foot on a pillow and then puts an ice pack on it

"This should help make it feel better"

I nod

He takes out his phone, typing into it

I guess he's leaving

Going to Hongjoong's

He should, he shouldn't stay because of me

He's ok

He's not the dumbass who fell

"Tell the guys I say hi"

He tilts his head looking at me, "What do you mean?"

What is he talking about?

He knows who the guys are

"When you get to Hongjoong's. Tell the guys I said hi"

San looks at me in disbelief

Uh ok, what did I say?

"Jo I'm not leaving you here like this"

"You're not?", I ask, furrowing my eyebrows

"No naekkeo! You're hurt baby and I'm staying with you. I can't go do anything knowing you're here in pain."

"But I ruined the night. You shouldn't have to stay because I fell. You can go"

I want him to stay but I don't want him to feel like he has to

I don't want to force him

"Joanne, stop it, you didn't fall on purpose. You didn't ruin anything. I'm staying here ok? I'm not going anywhere. I texted the guys what happened and told them we're staying home. I'd never leave you alone when you're hurt"

Well ok

I'm surprised

But I shouldn't be

He's proved over and over to be the best, sweetest, caring man and boyfriend

"Oh uh ok baby"

He smiles, nodding, "Ok naekkeo. I'm gonna change real quick. We can watch a movie if you want"

I nod

That sounds good

He hurries to my bed room to change

He keeps clothes here like I have at his apartment

Coming back to the living room, he grabs the remote, then moves my legs with the pillow, sits down and rearranges everything on his lap

With one hand he hold the ice pack on my ankle and the other he turns on the tv

"Which movie naekkeo"

"Guardians of the Galaxy"

He laughs, "The one I haven't seen?"

"Yup. I told you I'd get you to watch it"

"Yeah you did baby. Ok. Guardians it is"

He puts the movie on, still holding onto my leg

The movie starts and we watch in silence

"That talking racoons is so weird", he says sometime later

"Rocket is amazing!", I inform him

"Eh. I like the tree"

"Groot"

"Yeah him"

"Starlord is good too"

He nods, "Yeah. And I Iove how literal Drax is. He's the funniest of them all"

I nod, agreeing

San has taken off the ice pack awhile ago

And I want to be closer to him

When I move my foot off him, his head immediately snaps to me

"Naekkeo?"

"I uh...I wanna be closer to you"

He smiles softly, "Ok baby"

Rearranging ourselves, he lays down on his back, his head on the arm of the couch

I move on top on him, my head on his chest, cuddling into him

I feel a kiss on the top of my hair and I grin stupidly

His hand slides in my hair, playing with it

"Ready naekkeo?"

I nod and he puts the movie back on, his other arm wrapping around me

Snuggling into my Sannie, I watch the movie, happy he's here with me

@starry-jinnie

@xduygu-arsx

@derpjungkook

@tayyainthehood

@alecanal93

@loveymochi

@aunt-mei

@xciiiomwliah

@chsani

@mingkisbitch

@theaufanartist

[matsbarzal]

happy august! i wanted to do a prompt list for the month, just to push myself to get back into writing more before the season starts. you can find all the prompts below (listed under specific subtitles for what they cater to) and as they get requested, ill be crossing them off. please be sure to double check my who i write for, and if the person you'd like to request isn't on there, just toss me a message! please send the number(s) with which subtitle they fall under and the player you specifically want it for when you request. please give me a lil bit of time to knock em' all out! cheers! <3

fluff

"what a nice pillow!" - brock boeser

"i personally think i deserve more attention than this." - mat barzal

"your love is literally a drug." - roope hintz

"i'd lay here and watch the stars with you every night if i could." - andrei svechnikov

"remember our first kiss?" - Erik Černák

"you've been my best friend for 10 years, why not change it to husband and wife?" - jack hughes

"i'd buy you the world if you'd let me."

"let me take care of you." - mat barzal

"i know i just spilt my drink all over your brand new shirt..." - elias pettersson

"i've never felt as safe as when i'm with you." - anthony beauvillier

"i'm always home when i'm with you."

"couldn't imagine my life without you." - mat barzal

"i know we said no matching tattoos... but matching tattoos?"

"gonna let me teach you how to skate?" - nico hischier

"i can't wait to see you." - jamie oleksiak

"i know we're in a cabin in the middle of the woods and our power just went out... so should we cuddle or bang?" - matthew tkachuk

angst

"you don't love me anymore?"

"you said you'd always be there."

"if you walk out that door, we're done. for good." - roope hintz

"i cant do this without you."

"please don't shut me out." - nathan mackinnon

"just breathe, it's okay. it'll be okay." - mat barzal

"i miss you everyday."

"so go, get out!"

"i know it hurts, just let me help." - kirby dach

"it was always him, wasn't it?"

"i regret everything about you."

"do you even love me anymore?" "i dont know." - andre burakovsky

"please don't leave me alone right now."

"are you going to talk to me or?" - elias pettersson

"you told me you loved me, yet you ruined everything about me."

"did i mean nothing to you?"

nsfw 18+

"your lap looks extra comfy." - tyson jost

"make me." - bowen byram

"can't wait to watch you fall apart tonight." - tyson jost

"i'll bend you right over that sink if you don't shut your pretty little mouth." - matthew tkachuk

"get on your knees."

"i want you to cum in me."

"let me take care of you." - k'andre miller

"you're mine. don't forget that." - josh anderson

"go get the cuffs from the drawer. now." - matthew tkachuk

"such a dirty slut for me, hm?" - mat barzal

"god, the things i'm going to do to you when we get home." - roope hintz

"be quiet, baby." - mat barzal

"look at the way [blank] looks at you, think he knows i'm fucking you behind his back?" - mat barzal

"seeing you with their baby... god the things it did to me." - jacob markstrom

"who needs dessert when i have you?"

"no panties tonight, hm?"

random/au

you and your soulmate have the same tattoo on your inner wrist

you can hear your soulmate in your head... and god is he annoying - josh anderson

your soulmate wont stop getting hurt and it's starting to piss you off

the moment you look into their eyes... you just know. - mat barzal

when you touch your soulmate, you see glimpses of your future with them

"you can't have two soulmates." "well explain how we all have the same tattoo then, asshole."

[blank] is the most annoying gryffindor there is, and you can't wait until you graduate so you never have to see him again

hades!player and persephone!reader

"do you actually sleep in a coffin at night?" "this isn't dracula."

"im 600 years older than you. calm down." - connor mcdavid

prince/princess au! - andrei svechnikov

"i'd die for you." "okay die then."

"can we make a tiktok?" "no." "okay so here's what we're doing." - mat barzal

reader!actress & player!player

song prompts

"but baby, you're the reason i quit drinking." -i quit drinking (kelsea ballerini & lany) - matthew tkachuk

"if ' cant be close to you, i'll settle for the ghost of you" - ghost (justin bieber)

"i'd do whatever she likes, give her christmas in july" - anything she says (mitchell tenpenny) - brock boeser

"from the start, i never thought i'd say this before but i don't wanna love you anymore" - i dont wanna love you anymore (lany)

"could i be yours in the morning? im tired of counting down streetlights" - yours in the morning (patrick droney) - jacob markstrom

"you left me with nothing now im lying in the arms of a stranger" - arms of a stranger (niall horan) - tyson jost

"id spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours" - 10,000 hours (dan+shay) - mat barzal

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ Wooyoung- School President (Oneshot)

Genre: light angst, suggestive/steamy, high school au.

Pairing: SchoolPresident!Wooyoung x badgirl!reader

Warnings: none.

"Miss L/N, detention after school till 4 p.m." your chemistry teacher said, making you mentally groan. It was the last class of the day and you were dying to go home, but now you had to stay for an extra hour. All your classmates turned to look at you, but they weren't surprised. "You still haven't submitted the assignment."

"Can I just submit it tomorrow?" you asked in a bored tone.

"No, you were supposed to submit it a week ago," she said, gathering her stuff to leave the class. "Detention with Mrs. Hwang today." You heard people around you snicker. Well, fuck. Mrs. Hwang was the strictest teacher in school. Even you were scared of her despite your badass attitude.

You got up from your seat, leaving the classroom with an annoyed expression on your face.

"Detention again, Y/N?" your bestfriend asked as she made her way to you with your other friends.

You rolled your eyes. "Ms. Jang will never fucking let me live in peace. I'll see you guys tomorrow," you said, making your way to detention.

You were surprised to find the room empty. Usually, there would always be about three or five students. Since no one was here, you decided to ditch; you would skip school the next day so that your teachers will forget about it. You turned around to leave, but ended up bumping into someone, slightly startling yourself.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at your school president and heartthrob—also called 'senior's eye candy' at your school—Jung Wooyoung.

You had to admit, he was certainly the most handsome guy you've ever seen. Jung Wooyoung was absolutely perfect. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him. You were sure half your school tried to hit on him despite the fact that he has a girlfriend.

"Unfortunately, I'm here to make sure that you won't escape detention as Mrs. Hwang is busy, so take a seat," he said, moving around you to sit on a chair and taking a notebook out of his bag.

You always found Jung Wooyoung very interesting. Other guys like him—the nerdy ones—can't even talk to you, let alone look you in the eye. Jung Wooyoung was the complete opposite.

You sat on one of the chairs, immediately taking your phone out.

"You can't use your phone here," Wooyoung said, not looking up at you from his notebook. "Why don't you complete your assignment?"

You scoffed. "And if I don't? What are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing," he said, looking at you. "It's not affecting me in any way, so I don't care. However, Ms. Jang is gonna fail you again if you don't submit your assignment."

You knew he was right. And that annoyed you; you really just wanted to shut his pretty mouth up.

"Whatever," you mumbled, taking out a notebook and the assignment sheet to start working on the reactions you had to write.

However, you were completely blank. You didn't know or understand a word given on the sheet. You bit your lip as you stared at the sheet, wondering what to do.

Finally, you took out your phone and googled all the reactions, easily finishing the assignment in less than half an hour.

"You know, you won't be able to copy during finals," Wooyoung said, closing his notebook. "Even if you're copying now, at least learn what you've copied."

"I didn't ask for your comments," you retort. He was about to say something, but his phone rang.

"Hey, baby," he answered. " . . . I'm in charge of detention today . . . Oh, that's okay," his face fell slightly. " . . . No, it's alright. We can go some other day . . . Hmm, I love you too. Bye!"

You snorted, feeling bad for the boy. You were surprised someone as smart as him hasn't figured out that his girlfriend has been cheating on him. You've seen his girlfriend shoving her tongue down random people in the club, and hitting on people at your school. You remembered how shocked you were when you first found out that she was cheating on him; because why would anyone cheat on someone as perfect as Jung Wooyoung?

"You can leave now," Wooyoung said, getting up from his seat. "Detention is over." You nodded, leaving as fast as you can, just wanting to go home and sleep.

"Your grades aren't very bad, but they aren't great either, Y/N," your class teacher said. "You'll get into an average college with these grades. But I know you can do much better. So I've asked one of the prefects to tutor you in Chemistry and Physics."

You groaned. "Can I do it by myself?"

"You wouldn't do it by yourself," she said. "Anyway, Jung Wooyoung will be tutoring you. Discuss and decide your timings with him. I expect you to score well on the next exam. I do not want to see you fail in any subject again." Before you could say anything, the door to the staff room opened, revealing none other than Jung Wooyoung. "Ah, Wooyoung, I just told Y/N that you will be tutoring her," she said. "I'm expecting you to do a great job."

Wooyoung smiled. "I won't let you down, Mrs. Park. But Y/N must put in efforts or else there's no point," he stated in a polite tone, and you rolled your eyes.

"Yes, that's true," she turned to look at you. "I'm expecting nothing but your best efforts, Y/N." She's always expecting something, huh, you thought. You only smiled, bowing politely.

"I'll do my best."

-

"What the actual fuck is this?" you mumbled, staring at the lengthy derivation written in Wooyoung's notebook. He rolled his eyes, so tired of hearing you say that to literally everything you saw written in his notebook.

"Ah, why did they have to make me tutor you of all people?" he whined. "You clearly haven't paid attention in class for even half a second."

"No one told you to accept it," you said, ignoring his last comment.

"I had to," he scoffed, stretching his arms out, making you glance at the veins on his arms. "Extra credits, you know?"

"Nerd," you muttered under your breath. He heard you, but didn't say anything. He began teaching you how to derive it; you paid attention for the first few seconds before zoning out. When you zoned back in, he asked you to explain what he just explained. You bit your lip, thinking of what to say.

He sighed. "You didn't pay attention again."

"I zoned out, sorry."

"That's what you said for the previous derivation," he said, a disappointed look on his face while he packed up his things.

"You're leaving already?" you asked, glancing at the time on your phone; you still had twenty minutes left.

"I'm not going to waste my time teaching you right now," he said. "You clearly aren't in the mood to focus." You only scoffed, watching him leave the library. You bit your lip, feeling kinda bad for not paying attention when he was making an effort to teach you.

The look of disappointment he showed you had somehow made you determined to prove that you could focus and do better.

You were at Wooyoung's house, sitting on his bed and scrolling through your social media while waiting for him to finish changing out of his uniform. You spent an entire two weeks studying your ass off, and you were proud you made a big improvement, thanks to Wooyoung. He was quite surprised that you were actually making an effort to understand whatever he taught you. You both even became friends, and you were quite happy about that.

"I'm done," he said, coming out of his bathroom, making you look up from your phone. You held your breath at the sight of Wooyoung dressed in grey sweatpants and a black tank top. You couldn't stop yourself from checking him out: the veins running down his muscled arms, his exposed collarbones, his sharp jawline, his plump lips . . .

You were so immersed into checking him out, you didn't realize he was doing the same to you. He loved how your uniform skirt rid up your thighs, and how another two buttons on your shirt were unbuttoned, exposing a little bit of your cleavage. Before you knew it, he was slowly making his way towards you, eyes now locked with yours.

"Let's start, hmm?" he said with a smirk; he knew you were checking him out.

You clear your throat a little. "Yeah, let's start."

You spent the next half an hour trying to pay attention to whatever Wooyoung was teaching you. It didn't help that he absentmindedly placed his hand on your knee, or brushed your hand with his; he knew exactly what he was doing to you. Your mind kept wandering to the things you want him to do to you right now on his bed.

" . . . and now you should tell me," he leaned a little close to you with a smirk, making your heartbeat speed up. "Which formula should be used?"

"Fuck this," you muttered, pushing the books aside before straddling Wooyoung's lap.

"Took you long enough," he chuckled, and you crashed your lips on his. He instantly kissed you back, hands moving to grip your waist. You wouldn't admit it to anyone, but you have been dreaming about kissing Wooyoung the second he talked back to you a year ago.

You pulled away to litter his neck in kisses, sucking the skin gently. He groaned softly, making you smirk. "Fan of neck kisses?"

"You have no idea," he said, hands moving underneath your skirt to grip your bare inner thighs. He gave it a squeeze, making you involuntarily grind down on him. He moaned at the feeling, encouraging you to do it again. You moved your lips back to his, grinding on him even more. Wooyoung's hands slipped into your panties, grabbing your ass to help you grind down on him faster. The friction made you moan, craving for more. You tugged on his shirt, breaking the kiss to let him pull it off. You ran your hand down his toned torso in awe, loving the feeling of his abs beneath your fingertips. Your eyes widened at the tattoo above his hip bone. "You have a tattoo?!"

Wooyoung gripped your hips, moving you off of him so that he could hover over you. "Mhmm, bet you never expected the nerdy school president to have a tattoo, huh?" Your hands moved to his hair, playing it with while he began to kiss your neck, driving you crazy.

Wooyoung kissed down your chest till where your shirt was unbuttoned. He glanced up at you, fingers toying with the buttons. "Can I?" he asked. You nodded, letting him unbutton your shirt and slip it off you. You sucked in a breath when he ran his fingers over the lacy material of your bra.

"Take it off," you whined, making him chuckle.

"Patience, baby," he said, one hand gently rubbing your thigh.

But you really didn't have any patience right now.

You brought his lips to yours while you moved his hand to touch you where you desperately needed him, surprising him a little. He kissed you back hungrily while his finger moved on your clothed clit, applying pressure, making you get wetter. Your moans made him smirk; he loved how he was the reason behind it.

You both got startled at the sudden sound of his garage opening. He halted his movements, pulling away from you instantly.

"One of my parents is back from work," he said, quickly putting on his tank top and handing you your uniform shirt. You quickly buttoned it and straightened out your hair; you really did not want Wooyoung's strict parents to suspect anything since they already did not like the idea of him tutoring you in his final year of high school.

Wooyoung's father knocked on his bedroom door before opening it, finding you and Wooyoung busy writing equations.

"Oh, hey, dad! How was work?" Wooyoung asked with a sweet, innocent smile like as if he wasn't smirking a few minutes ago while touching you.

"Hello, Mr. Jung," you said politely.

"Hello, Y/N," he said. "Work was all right, as usual. How is your tutoring session going?"

"Good, dad," Wooyoung said, trying to control himself from smirking. "It's going really great."

[taetaespeaches]

Hello lovely liv :) I literally cannot pick a favorite one of your fics for each of the long term couples so I was wondering if you had any? I feel like it would be so interesting to reread ur fav fic for each couple!! And also just to get like ur perspective of it would be cool bc I feel like as someone who also has a blog and creates posts, some of my favorites are the ones with the least notes 🥴 idk I’m just rambling now lmao

TLDR: what is ur fav fic for each couple?

Omg I love you for asking this because it gave me a chance to go back through my masterlists for the first time in a while and ugh I have so many good memories with these fics :( it's hard to pick just one fic per couple bc I like them for different reasons and I'm indecisive soooo I chose two for each couple (and I gave reasons bc I can't help myself):

jin x poopsie:

“What’s wrong? Do you want attention?”

it's just so lowkey, I like the inclusion of poopsie and jin's mom talking, and I just think it's very playful which is this couple's whole dynamic.

“I happen to have this mood ring, and it would be very helpful to me if you would put it on.”

again, the playful vibe, the sincere love, the inclusion of the jk/jin beef lol also this one is one of my very very early ones, like before I even knew these couples were going to be a thing. It's not my best writing by any means but I love the concept and the scenario.

yoongi x kid:

“You just want to get back to your Zuko fan fiction.”

I don't even know what it is about this fic, I just really liked how this one turned out. I like the little nerves, the flirting, the obvious feelings, just yeah :(

“If your plan was to seduce me upon arrival, it’s working.”

lowkey, flirty, comfortable in a very min/kid way, it's always been one of my fav fics of mine period.

hoseok x petal:

“The displeasure was mine.”

this is probably my favorite fic for how any of the couples met. I love that they're both very much just themselves and they're polar opposites, they annoy each other a bit but they're fascinated by one another.

“I could never want less of you.”

I just like how they work through this insecurity and conflict together and I remember being quite proud of how this one turned out. It's hard to find conflicts for these two but I thought this one was very real and ugh this was another that was sad but felt good to write.

namjoon x daisy:

“The strings are attached already.”

this one legit broke my fucking heart to write lol but I love Joon's vulnerability and the way Daisy is in this battle with her heart. So sad but I can't help but like it.

“I’m not asking for forever.”

I love the way Joon assures Daisy in this one and how she opens up in a very sincere way because she believes Joon deserves to be let in. And I've gone back and re-read what Joon tells Daisy a few times because that shit hits.

jimin x dear:

"Did I really get to shag you last night?"

I've always loved this one, it's fun and cute and there's the little bit of insecurity there that Dear squashes and I love JK in this one too.

“How could you hide something from me? I’m the love of your life.”

after everything this couple went through, they just deserved this moment. Writing this was so satisfying, I loved giving them this. (I'm too emotionally invested in these couples lol)

taehyung x peaches:

“Want me to kiss it better?”

I like showing where they started compared to where they are now and this one was just a lot of fun to write. It's goofy, sweet, intimate, supportive, and just very much Tae and Peaches.

“Wait, I’m nervous.”

I loved writing this one :( they've been in love for a while at this point but this was still such a special moment for these two and ugh again, they just deserved this moment.

jungkook x holly:

“Should I get this one tattooed for real?”

I was really tempted to put “I think it’s the doe eyes” instead of this one but I just love the intimacy of this one too much. I like JK encouraging Holly's creativity, the idea of him tattooing one of her drawings for real, them just like existing in their apartment together, I just really enjoyed writing this one.

“That could have been so hot.”

I loved writing the return to the laundromat and I like how this turned out lol. It's flirty, fun, silly, they tease each other, just the epitome of what makes guk and holly.

[pawsitivelymiraculous]

Le parfum de l'amour

This is the @maribat-secret-santa-2020 piece for @saltandfluff I am so sorry for being late!

Anyway, I will be using the quantic kids, but you don't necessary have to know them to understand this fic.

The only have to know that "Melodie" is Allegra's nickname.

Ao3

It was always a bad idea to try to mess with fate. Everyone knew this. Allegra knew this, but she didn't care. Not when it was taking a toll on her sanity.

There were only so many times a person could see two literal soulmates walk past each other before they decided to take matters into their own hands.

So that's what she did.

Or well, was going to do once she could convince her friends to help her out.

"I don't know, Mel." Allan rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "These things take time you know? You cannot rush it." He glanced at the corkboard that was behind Allegra and winced, it was going to be impossible to talk her out of the crazy plan.

On the corkboard, there were two pictures. One was a selfie of Marinette Dupain-cheng. A twenty-year-old who was a regular at the café where Allegra and Claude worked at. After chatting with her in the mornings, Allegra decided to adopt the girl, and she introduced her to the rest of the group. She quickly became friends with Allan and surprisingly enough, with Felix as well.

The second picture was a rather blurry photo that was clearly taken from afar. You could sort of make out the image of Timothy Drake. The sleep-deprived twenty-one-year-old who had started going to the café for about a month. All the employees loved him because he never failed to amuse everyone with his half-asleep antics.

The one thing that both pictures had in common was a coffee cup.

On Marinette's collarbone, there was a small tattoo-like mark that looked like a coffee cup. The same one that was on Tim's wrist. Soul marks . Granted, they looked a bit plain compared to most people's soul marks, but in Allegra's eyes, they were the excuse she needed to get them together.

Allegra had shipped her two favorite customers long before she noticed their soul marks. But now that she knew they were soulmates . Well, she was not going to rest until they finally met.

"I'm not trying to rush things!" Allegra insisted. "I just want to push them in the right direction."

Allan looked at her, doubtful. "That's basically the same thing. Plus do actually think that," he squinted to read the list of plans that was tacked on the corkboard. "'Locking them inside a room with no escape' is merely pushing them in the right direction? 'Cause I think that sounds more like a hostage situation."

Allegra glared at him. "You know what? I don't need your help. Claude will help me. Right, Claude?"

Claude looked at her with wide eyes. "Oh no no no. Sorry Melodie but I can't."

"Uh, I'm sorry what?" Allegra blinked. It was very out of character for Claude to turn down the opportunity to help her with one of her elaborate plans. Not to mention that in this case, they were doing it to help Marinette.

"Allegra," he said solemnly, "this is a destiny thing. We just can't interfere."

Allegra facepalmed. "You can't be serious."

Claude looked at her dead in the eye. "If we interfere we might end up," he leaned towards  her and whispered " cursed"

"Oh give me a break." Allegra pushed Claude away. "Are you guys kidding me? This is Marinette we're talking about. You all can't possibly think that Marinette wouldn't want to meet her soulmate, and as her friends, we have to help her."

"I agree with Allegra."

Everyone spun around in surprise.

Felix rolled his eyes at his friends' incredulous expressions. "What? Marinette is my friend as well. Is it really that shocking that I want to see her happy?" The three of them nodded. He ignored them. "Besides, I've heard Marinette ramble about soulmates nonstop, so it's clear that meeting hers is what she would want."

Allegra was the first to react "See guys? Even Felix agrees with me!"

Felix huffed. "Yes, but I also think that your plans are ridiculous and ineffective."

"Ouch"

"I think the best thing we can do to help is to get them to interact and we-"

"That's literally what my plans are for!" Allegra interrupted.

Claude crossed his arms. "And what do you mean by 'we'? I haven't agreed to do anything."

Shooting both of them a glare, Felix continued. "- can do that without needing to kidnap them. We simply have to make it so that they have no other choice but to sit at the same table at the café. You all know how friendly Marinette is, it will only be a matter of time before they start talking."

There was a beat of silence.

"That… that might actually work," Allan admitted. "Soulmates are naturally drawn to each other so once they actually have a conversation we won't have to do anything else. They can figure out that they're soulmates by themselves." He paused and then chuckled. "We'll just have to push them in the right direction."

"But how are we going to get them in the café at the same time?" Allegra asked. "Tim always comes in right after Mari has left."

"Pft that's easy!" Claude exclaimed. "Just tell her that you need help with something and that you'll need for her to stay a while longer at the café. Since Mari doesn't have early classes on Wednesday she'll agree and- oh!" Claude suddenly slapped his hand over his mouth as his eyes widened with horror. "This does not mean that I'm helping." He mumbled from underneath his hand.

Allan laughed. "I think you just did."

"Looks like someone's going to end up cursed." Allegra singed songed. "Not even ladybug is going to be able to help you with that bad luck that's to come." She teased.

Claude pouted. "Haha, laugh all you want." He then looked up at the corkboard and grimaced. "But you're right, there's no turning back now. What do you need me to do?"

Allegra clapped her hands in glee.

"Okay so here's the plan."

~♡~♡~♡~

Just like Claude had predicted, it was incredibly easy to convince Marinette to stay at the café. All that was left to do was orchestrate everything just so that the two soulmates had to sit at the same table.

It was easier said than done but after enlisting more people to help out, they were able to make sure that the café was full for that morning.

Everything was going according to plan…

Until…

"WHERE. IS. TIM?"

Claude looked around. "He hasn't arrived yet?"

"No!" Allegra cried. She glanced down at her watch and winced. They were running out of time.

Claude frowned. "And you know, it would have been nice if Marinette hadn't chosen today to wear a turtleneck."

Allegra couldn't help but agree. Sure, Marinette looked amazing with the turtleneck and skirt outfit but did she really have to wear it today? When they needed for her to show off her soul mark?

It was like the universe was against them.

But finally, Allegra heard a tinkling sound at the door. She spun around praying that it was Tim.

And it was!

He looked more tired than usual as he stumbled around trying to find a seat.

Allegra watched as Tim danced around the tables that were being occupied just as he was about to take a seat.

One after the other until finally, a good push later, he ended up at Marinette's table.

~♡~♡~♡~

Tim was too tired to deal with this.

All he wanted was to sit down, have a couple of cups of coffee at his favorite coffee shop and finally be awake enough to continue investigating the moth guy.

But apparently, that was too much to ask because almost all the tables were full.

"Sorry man," Claude whispered as he guided a couple and motioned them to sit at the table that Tim had beelined for.

"Oh, actually I'm waiting for Adam." Felix had said when Tim asked if he could sit with him. Which was strange since Adam had said that he was waiting for Felix when he asked him.

But he could barely comprehend what they were saying, so he was not conscious enough to complain.

Tim continued on his journey when he felt someone push him from behind. In his half-asleep haze, Tim lunged at the chair that was in front of him hoping that it would break his fall.

It took him a few seconds to recover. He wanted nothing more than to pass out right then and there, splayed out on a coffee shop chair as everyone stared at him wondering if he was drunk.

He too wondered if he was drunk, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so if he was drunk, he was not going to figure it out on his own.

When he finally looked up, his eyes met with a pair of beautiful bluebell eyes.

~♡~♡~♡~

Marinette watched as a guy stumbled around the café until finally flopping onto the other chair at her table.

It was clear that he was sleep-deprived. She had seen enough videos that her evil friends had taken when she was in a similar state to know the poor guy probably hadn't slept at all for the last week or so.

Marinette wanted nothing more than to drag the guy to the nearest bed or couch and wrap him up in a bunch of blankets. Just because she didn't comprehend the term "self-care" for herself  didn't make Marinette any less of a "mom friend"

But she had to remind herself that she didn't know the guy, so it might be considered kidnapping to drag someone somewhere against their will.

Too bad.

The best she could do was offer him her own coffee.

"Hey, I think you need this more than I do at the moment." She said, pushing the drink his way as he stood up.

He mumbled something that could be interpreted as a "thank you" and eagerly took the drink. His eyes lit up when the heavenly liquid touched his tongue.

It was almost miraculous how quickly the caffeine took effect.

Actually, it was Marinette may or may not have mixed a little concoction she made with Tikki that helped her when she stayed up late with her regular coffee.

The guy blinked. "This. Is. Incredible."

Marinette laughed "Yeah, it's what I always get. Though you still look like you need to sleep."

"Yeah, yeah whatever." He waved her off. "But seriously, what is this called? I need a gallon of this."

"Sorry," Marinette said sheepishly "but I'm afraid that's a secret, you know, I'm kind of everyone's favorite, so I get the miracle coffee." Okay so that was a lie but what else could she say?

The guy pouted. Marinette had to admit that he looked adorable.

"Well, then I'm sure you can get me some then... um"

"Marinette."

"Ah, nice to meet you, coffee goddess, I'm Tim."

Marinette's cheeks heated up. "Uh, coffee goddess? Shouldn't they be the coffee gods and goddesses?" She pointed at Allegra, Claude, and the others.

"Nah, you have blessed me with this amazing coffee. Claude didn't even help me in my time of need."

"You know Claude?" Marinette asked, surprised.

"Yep, I've been coming here since I arrived in Paris, so I've gotten to know Allegra and Claude a bit."

"That's funny, I've never seen you. And I come here every day." Marinette said.

"Huh, that's weird. I've never seen you either. "

And from there they kept talking. Like they were old friends and not just acquaintances. Marinette found out that Tim had come from Gotham city. That he was in Paris because of business. Meanwhile, Tim learned that Marinette was an aspiring fashion designer and a college student who was close friends with almost everyone from the café.

Hours passed and the two were still deep in conversation completely oblivious to the crowd that had gathered behind the cafe's counter to watch the soulmates.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about this before." Adrien, who had arrived after Tim, whispered to his cousin.

"I was under the impression that your father needed your assistance for the upcoming fashion show. I was not about to ask my dear uncle Gabe if I could steal you so that we could set up our friend and his future competitor, Marinette Dupain-cheng, with her soulmate."

Adrien hated to admit that he had a point. "Fine, but can you at least catch me up to date? Who is he?"

"He's a rich guy from Gotham city. He's pretty cool though he's basically Marinette when it comes to coffee which is honestly kinda scary now that I'm seeing them interact." Allegra whispered.

Adrien looked down to look at her. "Alright, I guess I'm going to have to do my own research since you guys are useless. What's his job? Why is he rich? If his from Gotham then who knows, maybe this guy is actually dangerous and wants to take Marinette as ransom for-"

"Oh please Adrien, stop with your theatrics. Do you honestly think that I would allow this if he was dangerous?" Felix interrupted.

"I mean-"

Felix glared at him.

"No?"

Felix sighed. "Timothy Drake is Marinette's soulmate, and I can assure you that he's clean. So don't worry about Marinette."

Allegra shushed the cousins. "Guys, I'm trying to listen here you know?"

"Um, you could probably hear better from up here" Felix nodded in agreement.

"Thanks, Adrien, but I don't want to risk Marinette seeing me and then remembering about time and stuff."

"Ah"

"Speaking of time, it's been years since I last ate, I'm hungry." Claude cut in.

"Claude! You're supposed to be with the customers!" Allegra whisper-shouted.

"Whoops."

~♡~♡~♡~

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Marinette eventually remembered the reason she had stayed in the cafe. Not only that but when she looked at her watch she realized that she was running late for class.

After Marinette's rushed exit, Tim went back to investigating Hawkmoth. But while they were trying to concentrate on their own thing. Marinette with her class and Tim with his research they found themselves zoning out and thinking about each other.

It was strange, they had quite literally just met.

Why had they made such an impact on each other?

~♡~♡~♡~

It wasn't until Marinette was getting ready to go to bed that she found the answer.

"Tikki is… is that what I think it is." Marinette's voice trembled as she stared at her reflection on the mirror.

Tikki gasped. "Oh Marinette, I think it is!"

Staring back at her was her soul mark, which no longer was a regular coffee cup but rather a gorgeous cup with beautiful red flowers that surrounded a somewhat familiar symbol.

"But, how? I mean they're not supposed to change… right? And why?" Marinette's eyes widened. "Does this mean that I met my soulmate? Who is it?"

Tikki giggled, "You seriously don't know?"

"Umm no? Should I?" Tikki continued to giggle as her holder looked at her confused. "Who is it Tikki?"

"Oh Marinette, how many new people did you meet today?"

"Uh, I don't know? I mean surely I must've passed by lots of strangers in the street." Marinette panicked. "Oh no Tikki! What if one of them is my soulmate? I'll never find out who they are!"

"So you don't remember meeting anyone else?"

"I don't think so, well other than ohhh- "

"Exactly"

~♡~♡~♡~

Tim could not believe what he was seeing. Gone was the plain coffee cup he was used to seeing, the daily reminder of the fact that he was still painfully single, it now had an intricate flower pattern that surrounded a symbol.

He recognized that symbol.

After weeks of researching and tailing the red Parisian heroine, he knew that it was the Ladybug symbol.

But why was it on his soul mark?

Unless…

No, the heroine couldn't be his soulmate, Tim hasn't even officially met her. Nor had he even seen her today.

The only blue-eyed girl he had met was Marinette.

Marinette  

No, it was impossible. Except it wasn't. Tim had only known the girl for a couple of hours, but he knew that  Marinette would make a great heroine or vigilante.

But, he… he was probably hallucinating, right? Tim hadn't slept for weeks, so surely he was just seeing things and his soul mark was still a plain coffee cup and the Marinette conclusion was just wishful thinking.

Right?

Because otherwise, his first meeting with his soulmate was him acting like a sleep-deprived zombie and Tim could not allow that.

Well, one thing was for sure, he really needed to get some sleep.

~♡~♡~♡~

Three days.

It took three days for Marinette to find Tim.

She looked everywhere. The coffee shop, Le Grand Paris Hotel, the tourist areas, and when she was ladybug she looked down from all the rooftops trying to find him.

But he had vanished, leaving Marinette worried sick that he had either A. Gone back to Gotham  B. Died or C. Been so horrified that she was his soulmate that he decided to move to a remote island and changed his name in hopes of never seeing her again.

Gosh, she was starting to sound like her fourteen-year-old self.

But finally, she saw him, sitting on a bench, not far from her own home, looking down at his wrist.

He looked at his wrist like it was some puzzle he needed to solve. Marinette also noticed that he looked a lot more refreshed, so he must've finally gotten some sleep.

Marinette cleared her throat. "Well, you've been a very hard person to find Mr. Drake."

Tim looked up. "Ma- Marinette!"

"We need to talk."

Tim nodded his mouth hanging wide open as he stared at her soul mark.  

"How do you feel about coffee? There's a coffee shop that's not very far from here, I hear their coffee is divine.

~♡~♡~♡~

Bonus:

(this was going to be a scene on the fic but I didn't know how to add it but it has important info sooo)

*They are at the coffee shop*

Marinette: So you're red robin.

Tim: And you're Ladybug

Marinette: Should I be worried? Like doesn't this compromise our secret identities?

*Claude and Allegra appear with some pastries*

Claude: Yooo Marinette! So you found your soulmate! Crazy right? We totally didn't have anything to do with it!

*Allegra elbows him*

Claude: So uh, congratulations! I um feel happy for you.

*looks nervously at Allegra who is glaring at him*

Claude: Bummer about the soul mark though…

*Allegra keeps glaring*

~♡~♡~♡~ Permanent tag list  ~♡~♡~♡~

Claude: What? It's just a plain white cup!

Bonus bonus:

(here's a bad doodle and my crappy handwriting)

(If you want to be added or removed please let me know!)

@charme-de-malchan, @theatreandcomicfreak, @m3owww, @elliebelliegirl, @genevieve-the-demonologist, @vixen-uchiha, @t1dwarrior-of-earth, @waffleyunsure, @technicallyburninggarden, @azuremayscarlet, @vroomtaka, @emimar7, @ichigorose, @maskedpainter, @art-is-hard-to-do-sorry

[apocalypseornaw]

About Time

*Not my Gif* Sam finally admits he's in love with you. (Some nsfw)

The day Sam met you was a trial by fire sort of thing. Him and Dean needed a couple extra hands on a hunt so Bobby had sent you and your cousin their way. Your cousin was only a couple years older than Dean so the two of them teamed up leaving you with Sam. He was impressed from the start because you managed to finesse the local fuzz in a way that Dean wouldn't even be able to. 

On the hunt itself you held your own against the nest of vamps and ended up even carrying one of the more injured victims out yourself. Your cousin just shook her head when him and Dean told you they could've went back for the girl "She thinks she's wonder woman. I swear this girl is either gonna be the death of me or end up ruling hell" Dean bought you a beer afterwards, Sam was hooked.

Over the years you kept in contact with Sam and Dean then when your cousin died you ended up starting to hunt more often with them and eventually took their offer of a bedroom in the bunker. You and Dean had quickly become best friends, same as you and Cas. Sam had been harboring feelings for you for years that only got worse living in close quarters with you.

------

You'd been living in the bunker for a couple months when one morning Sam got back from his run to overhear you talking to Dean in the kitchen "Dean either he doesn't look at me like that or he is the most oblivious man on the face of this earth" you'd recently split from a guy you'd been seeing off and on so he didn't want to get his hopes up until Dean said "That's where it helps having the guy who's known him since birth on your side sweetheart and standford or no standford Sammy doesn't really take subtle well. Just tell him how you feel because I've listened to him talk about you for years. I've heard him cuss every guy you've ever dated. He feels the same"

He headed to his room to act as if he hadn't heard any of the conversation. When he walked into the library after a shower you were sitting at one of the long tables looking over a lore book and glanced up when he walked in "Hey Sam" he smiled "Good morning Y/N. Where's Dean this early?" you held up a half of a glass of orange juice "It was his turn to go on a supply run and we're out of coffee" 

He walked over to sit down next to you and tilted the book you were reading to see the front of it "Enochian?" You shrugged "Figured it'd come in handy if I could translate at least a few words if Cas wasn't around?" "That's smart" he said with a smile and realized just how close he was sitting to you when you moved to face him and your hair brushed his shoulder "Sam, can I ask you something?" your eyes widening told him you hadn't realized the close proximity either "Of course" he held your gaze and watched you nip at the tip of your thumb which was something you did when you were nervous no matter how rare that situation was "Do you wanna go out with me?"

He reached to pull your hand away from your mouth and smiled when you tracked his movements with your eyes "I'd love to"

-------

That friday you and Sam headed out to a local bar that Dean said served decent enough food. Hell Dean had even let you take baby out which was a rare thing indeed.

You walked into the bar behind Sam and smiled when he reached back to grab your hand "C'mon sweetheart" he pulled you towards a booth in the corner. You slid in first and he slid in after you. You glanced around and saw that a live band was setting up, the bar itself looked clean and with a normal enough crowd. 

After the waitress took your order Sam turned towards you "Why are we nervous? We've known each other for years" You shrugged "I don't know. Maybe we should go ahead and kiss and get that out of the way?" he laughed lightly then said "That actually sounds like a good idea" you leaned up to touch your lips against his in a quick kiss that quickly deepened when he pulled you into his lap. Your hands went to his shoulders to steady yourself when you felt his tongue flick across your lips asking for entrance so you opened your mouth slightly and had to stifle a moan when you felt his tongue slide into your mouth moving against yours. 

His hands slipped under your shirt and a low moan escaped you at the feeling of his hands on your skin. The waitress clearing her throat broke the two of you apart. You never broke eye contact with Sam when you threw a twenty down and said "That'll pay for the drinks, cancel our food please" she simply took the money and walked away with a laugh. 

You climbed out of his lap then grabbed his hand "Suddenly I'm not hungry, how about you?" His eyes ran across your body before he finally said "Not for food"

-------

The ride back to the bunker felt longer than it ever been. You were trying not to distract Sam but god you'd finally felt his lips on yours and was wondering what they would feel like on other body parts.

About halfway back he finally pulled off the road and killed the lights. When you shot him a look he raised an eyebrow "Come here" you quickly straddled his lap feeling how hard he already was underneath you. "Do you want to wait until we get back?" He asked kissing your neck and down to your collarbone pushing your shirt down further to give him access to more skin. "Who says we can't have another round once we get to a bed?"

He chuckled against your skin "I like that answer" he moved his hands to the seam of your shirt and you moved to let him pull it over your head. "I've wanted this for a long time" he whispered letting his tongue run across the top of your bared breasts. You let your head fall back with a moan as he sucked gently on the skin there. "Sam, is there enough room?" he glanced up at you and you realized your choice of words "I mean in the front seat?"

He thought about it for a moment then pulled back "Get in the back" you climbed off his lap and climbed across the seat while he stepped out then opened the back door to climb in with you. You laid back on the seat and curled your finger at him "Come here Winchester" he pulled his shirt over his head then climbed up you leaving a trail of kisses on every inch of exposed skin. When he got to your mouth the kiss was hungry but gentle. He rolled his hips against your and a groan left his lips when you moaned at the movement. "We really need these jeans off" you laughed so he leaned back up far enough to help you slip off your jeans and boots then kicked his own off.

He spread your legs then licked his lips "God you're beautiful" you felt a slight wave of embarrassment at being completely bared and must have moved to cover yourself because he caught both of your hands in one of his "Nope, I want to see every inch of you baby" there was soo much sincerity in his voice you relaxed and he smiled "Now lay back. If I do anything you don't like tell me ok?" You nodded and he lowered his head leaving kisses up your left leg until he got to where you needed the most attention "Sam" you moaned when he licked into you curling his tongue up against that sensitive spot.

You could feel an orgasm building and gripped his hair as your breathing quickened. He added two fingers in with his tongue and that was all it took. You came with a moan of his name on your lips. He worked you through the orgasm then kissed his way back up your body. When he got to your lips he caught your mouth in a hard kiss allowing you to taste yourself on him "Please fuck me Sam" you moaned and he smiled against your lips "Yes ma'am"

When he slid into you, you bit your lip against the stretch. Once he was fully inside of you he stilled letting you adjust to him. "Are you ok?" he asked kissing your neck and chest. You nodded after a moment and tapped his hips "Move Sam" he started to roll his hips against yours every movement rubbing against that spot deep inside of you "God damn Sam" you moaned and he laughed "I'll take that as a compliment" you knew from the angle and pace he wouldn't be able to come easily so after a few moments you urged him "You can go harder Sam you won't hurt me"

He started to thrust harder and you felt your eyes roll back as that building pressure burst again. "Fuck Y/N you're so damn beautiful taking me like that baby. Ugh you're squeezing me hard enough I can barely move" he groaned biting down on your breast hard enough you knew there'd be a mark there come morning. "Sam oh fuck please tell me you're close" you begged and he nodded hitting even deeper inside of you.

When you felt his hips shudder you knew he was close. "I'm close baby" he whispered and you gripped his shoulders when you felt him come emptying inside of you. He thrust a few more times before collapsing against you moving just enough to make sure you could breath fine. "Fuck why did we wait so long to do that?" you asked with a laugh kissing his tattoo since it was closest to your lips. "I don't know but I look forward to doing it again" "And again?" you asked pulling him to you for a kiss.

-------

Luckily Dean was asleep by the time you two got back so he didn't see both of you come in carrying your shoes, Sam only wearing jeans and you wearing Sam's shirt. You dropped your pile of clothes in your room then headed to Sam's room with him. The night was far from over.

------

A couple weeks later Dean and Cas had ran into town to grab supplies so you were sitting at one of the tables in the library looking over news articles to make sure there was nothing near by that needed attention. Sam stood there watching you for the longest, your hair was falling out of your bun and you were chewing on the end of your pen. He'd never seen a more beautiful sight.  You glanced up after a moment and grinned "I'm literally your wallpaper on your phone so if you wanna stare you have pictures"

"I love you Y/N" he said so easily and didn't even think twice about it until your smile fell. "I um I mean it's ok if you don't feel the same. I just wanted to tell you" but you cut him off by grabbing his hand to pull him closer "Sam! calm down" when he finally stopped talking you laughed "I love you too. I have for a while"

You heard clapping and looked up to see Dean at the bottom of the steps "About damn time" Cas looked around him "I tried to get him to not eavesdrop" you laughed again "Don't worry Cas I'm used to it"

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK: ARE CONGRATULATIONS IN ORDER?

Disclaimer:

Everything expressed in here is my opinion. It is not intended to be malicious or disrespectful to any of the parties mentioned in here. Please do not hate on or send hate anyone mentioned in her expressly or by inference.

In my previous posts, I pointed out how this past year, from August 2019 to June 2020 has been a rollercoaster ride for Jikook. Their relationship has been all over the place with some even concluding they have broken up for good- you wish!

My inbox has been flooded with questions such as: Are they still broken up, are they good, are they married...

Y'all think I'd be here blogging at 1 AM for Tumblr if Jikook were married married?- Ok, I would. Lol

But No, Sis. Jikook aren't married. Not that I know of. But don't be sad though because THEY ARE BACK! Fully back to function. By that I mean Jimin mostly. Jk never left. Lol- I'll explain in a bit. But yes, I'm happy to report that they are Jikooking again!

I refrained from posting about their new moments especially this July moments because even though they've been back together after a long period of on and off again relationship during ON comeback through to festa season, and then May when JM finally asked for space in their relationship(see previous posts for details)

I've being unsure about Jimin. I've been anxious to know what the outcome of his asking for space to think things through would be.

Jikook have a push and pull relationship dynamic. We been known. Mostly when one steps back from their relationship for whatever reason, the other leans in to pull them back in.

Same thing has been happening from January where Jimin would be pulling one minute, the next he would be like meh and JK would be push to pull him back in.

That was the case in this (June-July) Japan comeback interviews. Jk was front center with expressing interest in JM pulling him whereas JM was like meh, I'm down for this baby but let's keep it professional for the group's sakes.

Just look at them here... (Photo of them at 2020 Japan interview where Jk said he was looking at JM)

See what I mean? Now you may not notice at first but look at JM's demeanor and compare it to moments in past interviews whenever JK is talking about him or their relationship.

Jk was on his flirting game which he usually is when he wants to break the ice with Jimin if there's been tension between them or when someone around is making a pass at JM and he wants them to know what's up- he ain't slick. Lol

At times too he takes the initiative to flirt when he is feeling super confident and cocky and hella bold and just wants to. Trust me, when he flirts with Jimin, IT IS NOT FOR FANSERVICE. He means that shit.

Now compare JM's body language in that Japan interview moment this one right here: (photo of JM and Jk at the interview where JK said from now on together)

Jimin usually acts very coy, giddy and whipped even around JK when JK flirts with him but most importantly he seems to egg JK on in such moments. He enjoys being claimed openly by JK just as much as JK loves being claimed by JM publicly- which is why as nervous as that makes him he keeps going back for more.

Now this is gonna sound controversial but I have seen JM tell Suga off at times when Suga has tried to initiate skinship with him. I won't show you the picture but you can watch it for yourself during the On Come back where they wore Purple and black. It happened right at the moment Suga touched JMs back. JM mouthed 'Hajima' to Suga to stop touching him. That's all I'm gonna say y'all. Lmho. Don't want trouble.

My point is, these boys have a filter. If they don't want something done to them they won't hesitate to say it or show it. Much like when JK pushed Tae's hand away during a VLive- and he's pushed JM off sometimes too. He is assertive more so than all the members. If he doesn't want something he won't do it or allowed it.

Suga asked him not to get the tattoos when he first expressed interest in them way back in American Hustle life. But he told them if army loves him they would love everything he does and not try to limit him. Jk does as JK pleases.

So yea, if JK didn't like what Jimin has been doing with him he wouldn't be around him much less reciprocate those feelings and actions and initiating them on his own at times. Their interactions are MUTUAL.

And yes, that was shade.

Jimin understands the guts it takes JK to take such initiatives with him and so he kinds of encourages Jk to go on with it or acts in a way that boosts JK's ego. Like when JK shouted 'arrest me' in the middle of an interview. Jk... SMH.

So it was a bit unsettling to watch JM not even try to flirt back with JK in moments like this like he usually would. Dude wasn't even initiating their shtick during this period first of all nor was he responding to them in a way he usually would.

Not sure the aesthetics he was going for here but it screamed let's keep this professional on camera and get naughty when we get home. Or much like, dude I asked for space and I'm realizing I like you just as much but stop coming on too strong.

Which frankly, is what the members have been asking them to do since October last year when the hashtag to cancel Jikook in S.K trended. So JM wouldn't be wrong to take such a stand....

Given that the crux of their issue has been that Jikook is developing into a brand almost independent of BTS' brand and this in a way is affecting the dynamics of the group, a little discretion wouldn't hurt.

The cheers for Jikook moments are getting louder and louder each year even at events such as awards and not just on stage. Jikook is taking a lifeform of it's own. Its becoming a brand almost as powerful as BTS' brand. They are a power couple or becoming one. Like or not. Their fans are becoming loud and large too. So often, lately, it seems they tend to steal the show and direct attention away from the band. It's crazy.

Tae literally had the floor, delivering his speech at the MMA 2019 but people weren't even paying attention to that at all. They were more interested in Jikook and whatever they were doing and they went nuts the moment JK held Jimin and even wilder when he placed his head on Jimin which is what lead to infamous standoff with RM.

JM had literally bumped his butt against Hobi's crotch region moments before the Jikook moment but the crowd didn't lose it as much. Please go back and listen to the deafening sounds of the crowd for yourself.

As much as we love Jikook, there are some that don't and they can be very loud. I'll leave it there. Please support Jikook. Thank you.

BTS had a whole concert end of October 2019 and the hashtag that trended was 'cancel Jikook.' That took away from the hardwork of the band and reduced it to a few seconds of two boys fanboying over eachother. That's.... sigh.

When you see it this way, the RM separating them at Jingle bell red carpet, on stage or even BigHit trying to regulate their Vlives make sense.

Moving on. So yea I wasn't sure about JM all this past few months especially as I believe he had asked for space in their relationship. You might not think much of it but given as JM had said in the past how if he had a lover he would want to be with them all the time and Jikook do spend a lot of time around each other but suddenly hear them talk about spending time apart and enjoying it and what not....

But I think I can stop worrying now because HE IS BACK! There is a new Jimin in town and he is taking names! Good for him!

And I don't mean his new hairdo this August. I mean the new attitude. This attitude:

In this interview he says he would take JK to an island which smart decision. I would take JK too cos dude can do anything, cant he?! Bless him.

But thats beside the point. What I think is happening here is, Jimin finally took a stand. He made up his mind and he is not getting pushed around anymore. Because this Jimin hasn't showed up in a while now. Now he seems quite defiant most times if you've been paying attention to him, so rebellious, so sure of himself. Good for him. Spending time to himself has done him some good. It's given him room to reflect and sort out his priorities.

He loves his work, his band and he loves JK and it's hard when all of those start rubbing against eachother. But Fuck professionalism. He is in love with JK and that is professionalism too. Add loving JK till the end of time to his profession bishes!! :p

Sorry. I got carried away.

But seriously, he seems like his old self but it's also a new self because he hasn't been that self for a hot minute. This is JK's sweat tastes like holy water Jimin. This is I promised Jk I will go to the moon with him Jimin, this is I wanna go on a trip alone with JK Jimin- but badder. If you are a hardcore JM stand like I am you'd understand what I'm talking about.

HE IS BACK BABY! Our daddy is back!

The point of this post is to say, I believe JM finally figured out what he wants. So now hopefully the up and down should die down because quite frankly it's hard to keep up with those two I swear! We need a smooth sail Jikook. Make it happen!

I love it. I love where this is going and I can't wait to see more of their interactions so cheers to Jikookers and congratulations to Jimin for putting his shit together. We wanted rain. We about to be hit with a tsunami of Jikook moments.

Stay blessed. Stay beautiful. Jikook forever.

Signed,

Goldy