#I've literally hated everything I've created this month (including this)

[jays-therapist]

femslash feb, day 4: doomed by the narrative

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged rant >:(

Demon Slayer fandom discourse

I want to start this by saying, I know that Demon Slayer isn't an explicitly queer manga/anime because Shōnen Jump, but I believe that Demon Slayer is for the queers and has lots of themes that we can identify with like love, acceptance, loss, guilt and strength.

Despite what these stupid, smelly, ignorant, power-scaling, non-ass-washing, Cheetos-dust-snorting, once-a-month-showering, dude-bros would have you believe, Demon Slayer isn't just another battle Shōnen anime/manga, it's a love story and about the perseverance of the human spirit and if that doesn't speak to the queer experience then I don't know what does.

Plus, I don't know how Gotogue-sensei is as a person, but I think the fact that she managed to make one of the kindest mcs in shōnen speaks volumes about her disposition. I don't think she would be one to reject queer fans identifying with her story so well.

In these recent times, it seems like everything is going to shit, the world is slowly regressing into the dark ages destroying decades of progress and trying to distract ourselves from all this by engaging with the fandoms we love is hard because everything seems to cater to cis, straight, white men.

To be honest, I created this blog mostly out of spite, but I also wanted to carve out a tiny space for myself where I can talk out of my ass and not have some decrepit reddit dude bro go all 'well, ackshually ☝🤓' on me, and I'm happy to have met so many like-minded people.

So, I've compiled a list of answers to the common types of nonsense drivel these fuckers post in response to shipping and queer discussions and theories about Demon Slayer. You can copy and paste whenever and wherever you encounter these black holes of ignorance and stupidity if you want.

In the Taisho era, there were no gay/queer people: This is one of the dumbest statements I've ever heard, and the fact that it's a really common response really shows how we've failed as a society. Queer people have existed for ages all over the world, Japan has an extensive queer history. Demon Slayer is based on samurai culture and samurai culture was really, really, really, really, really, really, really gay. Sure, it had rigid roles, but that doesn't make it any less queer. A quick Google search would go a long way to nourish that dried-out, shrivelled husk you call a brain. Go read a book you walking condom ad, your parents and education system have obviously failed you.

It's forcing sexuality into the story: We literally had a whole season dedicated to the mcs going to the 'entertainment district', we have a sexy man with three wives who talks about 'loving' them all equally, we have the abundant male fanservice, one of the mcs talks about women on the daily, we have a boy who eats demons and is horny shy around girls all the time, we have his brother who exposes his tits because he's proud of them, we have a demon who was essentially a sexual predator that targeted 16-year-old girls and ate them, the main villain shape-shifts into a woman to 'get' information as a Geisha, we have a girl who literally lusts after almost everyone she meets but yea no lets not force sexuality into it 🙄.

I don't care: Okay cool, but I value your opinion as much as I value the shit I took this morning.

It's who they are as a character that matters: Sexuality is a part of a person's character. Your sexuality defines your experiences, decisions, options and outlook on life. That's why you as a straight man can be so ignorant.

It's forced*(I really hate this one): Honestly, fuck you. Why is it that you only think something is forced when it doesn't revolve around you and your experiences? You guys are fine with tons of anime/manga that sexualize women and girls to an insane degree even when it doesn't make sense, but that doesn't stop you from consuming and glazing the hell out of the authors, but when we talk about including queer characters suddenly it's forced? Your existence is forced, and you can just eat shit.

I don't like it: Who the fuck do you think you are dictating how other people consume and interpret the media they consume? How about you go hump your smelly, cum-encrusted anime body pillow.

Men can be touchy/emotional with each other without it being gay, it's just our western standards: No it isn't the majority of shipping activities and works come from Japan, which wouldn't happen if it was just part of their culture. We're not stupid, we know men and boys can be friends without it being sexual, and we know when a friendship is just that, and then we know when two guys are straight up pining for one another.

It's not canon/the mangaka didn't explicitly state it: They can't because of Shōnen Jump, so a lot of them pass off information about a character through subtext, metaphors and allegories. They also don't have to, things don't have to outright stated or 'canon' for them to make sense and if you need them to be so for you to understand or enjoy the story then a moment of silence for your head since it's without a brain.

It's not common: Despite Shōnen Jump, there are lots of mainstream anime/manga that have queer characters: One Punch Man, Hunter x Hunter, Dr. Stone, Windbreaker, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Naruto, Gintama, Dragon Ball Z, My Hero Academia, Fairy Tail, One Piece, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul, Jujutsu Kaisen, Chainsaw Man, Blue Period and that's not to talk of the ones with queer subtext like I dunno ALL Sports anime/manga to ever exist!

Why do you look for LGBTQ in everything?: It might be hard for straights to understand but growing up queer and looking for a connection causes us to develop what we call a gaydar that helps us identify characteristics, mannerisms, features and vibes from a person that screams 'ONE OF US! ONE OF US!'. It's only natural, and our gaydar doesn't suddenly turn off when we're consuming media, especially when it's media that we love and hold dear to our hearts. It doesn't matter if the mangaka inserted these characteristics intentionally or not, that doesn't stop us from picking up on them, and why should it?

Shipping is stupid: So is power-scaling, but that doesn't stop you assholes from making thousands of posts, creating YouTube channels and sharing content about it and cramming it down our throats. It's even worse because it's from grown-ass men.

The characters have no chemistry/they hate each other: A lot of queer ships have more chemistry, history, interactions, personality and development than a lot of 'canon' straight couples. It's literally a trope in media that all a man and a woman need to be in a relationship is to be in close proximity to each other, then their relationship goes on to be drier than salted crackers in silicone packets scattered in the Sahara desert. Well, I guess you can't blame the creators, you write what you know after all.

I know this is a lot and I know how angry I sound right now, but I'm so sick and so tired of all these guys who are as useful to the human race as pieces of freshly shat out dog turds that have been thrown in the grass by the sidewalk in a hot summer afternoon, who can't see past their lice-infested neck beards trying to make something as colorful, interesting, joyful and queer as anime and the fandoms fit their own boring, stupid and misogynistic worldview.

In Conclusion, Demon Slayer is amazing, horny* and unbelievably queer.

*I'm talking about the male fanservice btw :)

[felassan]

Snippets. 🐺💜

Corinne Busche celebrates 5 years at BioWare! [source]

Devs Michelle Flamm and Gabe Graziani: "feels weird that 'the last game informer cover game is a game I worked on' is a thing I can say now" / "And all of the exclusive coverage we did with them is just... gone." [source, two]

Jon Renish: "It's just a coincidence but, the last cover for Game Informer is 'Dragon Age: The Veilguard', the last printed Prima strategy guide was 'Anthem'." [source]

John Epler: "christ. seeing game informer shutting down is awful. seeing them shut down literally three months after spending time with them is fucking me up. hope everyone lands on their feet. unbelievable." [source]

Jay Ingram (on GI): "Oh my gosh. It was always so exciting to see what the cover story of a month would be, and then even more so as a dev when you showcase games I've been privileged to work on. This is so sad. Thank you for everything. I wish you all the best. Truly the end of an era" [source]

Derek Wilks: "Seriously hate to see Game Informer go. They’ve been my go to for years. Always loved their magazines. They will be greatly missed. It’s a bittersweet honor to have our game as their last cover story. Wish they could have continued forever. 💔" [source]

User: "Will Briala make another appearance in the future (not necessarily in Veilguard)?" Trick Weekes: "Anyone who didn’t die onscreen could potentially show up again someday." [source]

[Here] is the link to costume builder Ladytoxie's SDCC V-log! Ladytoxie was invited to the DA:TV@SDCC Fandom party, at which they cosplayed Bellara. In the vlog, they discuss their Bellara cosplay, the process of creating it, their experience going by the BioWare booth at SDCC, and their Fandom party experience with the devs. The vlog also includes a bonus short interview with the devs from SDCC. In the vlog you can see that, along with the dragon screenshot, an alternative option for the background of the DA:TV photo booth pic was this tavern screenshot that we've seen. Ladytoxie also mentioned in the vlog that it's clear how much love and work the devs have put into the game [source]

^ The devs talked a bit about DA/the game & characters in the bonus interview. I'm not 100% sure if I heard all these details right, so apologies/correct me if I misheard, missed or misunderstood any of it (listening to the original source first-hand is of course always most advisable!!), but it sounded like: Corinne Busche feels most connected to Maevaris Tilani. Corinne Busche loves the qunari and would cosplay as Taash, as she loves the scale, armor and Rivaini gold. Her favorite companion is Emmrich. John Epler would cosplay as Lucanis, calling him so stylish and suave. It sounded like he said he wrote Bellara and a few other characters. Ashley Barlow would cosplay as Neve, saying that she has [awesome] dialogue, quick wit and is sassy. Parrish Ley would cosplay as Davrin. He said that Davrin has some awesome armor pieces, with the hands and feet being lots of interlocking pieces of metal. Parrish Ley is a big face and hands animator, so when he's animating Davrin's armor, his hands and feet get a lot of focus, so that he looks great in any pose from any angle. [source] <- Check out the vlog here!

User: "bioware, it is now the second of august." Dev Jess: "Soon 😄" [source] User: "On my knees groveling for more information on Taash" Jess: "soon :)" [source]

User: "Coming back to say Thank you so very much for Veilguard! Coming back to Thedas feels like Home!!". Derek Wilks: "It’s absolutely our pleasure. We’ve truly made something that we love, and hope you all love it too. 🧡" [source]

User on Fenris in DA2: "coolest character introduction ever". Derek Wilks: "So far 😊" [source]

[duckciferthecg]

Alright. This is going to be a long one, but I feel it needs to be said, so

Thank you.

You started this blog a little over a month ago. March 29th. That's it. In under 40 days, you have been able to conjure up a community unlike any I've seen. In under 40 days, you have sparked 20+ other Hazbin cg blogs, 10+ Helluva cg blogs, 10+ Helluva-verse cg blogs, and 15+ other fandom cg blogs. Those are just the ones on Charlie's list! Countless little blogs, including my own!

You have sparked a movement of people like me, too afraid of their regression to go out and show it proudly, to become indulgent in their regressions, have fun with it, and be comfortable in their own skins. Even amongst the anonymous hate, you have brought together a beautiful group of people who most likely never would have interacted with each other if you hadn't started this blog.

I always ignored the childish feelings I had, until I stumbled across your blog in early April. It made me realize I'm not alone, I'm not a creep, I'm not insane, I'm normal. That there are other people, who feel the same way I do, and that it isn't weird to express it, and, I'm going to be honest, I haven't felt this seen and happy in years. I'm finally learning how to be me again.

Lucifer, whatever your name is beyond the screen. Thank you. So much, for creating a space I and probably hundreds of others feel safe in.

@cloudscaregiverservice / @cloudsageregression / @lunaeclipse1057-ao3

Oh…

I-

Hold on-

Let me go cry real quick-/pos

I’m so happy to have helped to many people!

I honestly thought this blog would go no where and that it would just be something silly but it’s actually been super useful to not only others, but myself

I-

Helping other people is amazing and it’s literally my life’s goal (Irl I want to be a therapist) and knowing that I’m actually helping people is amazing!

You guys have helped me so much too

I’ve learned more about myself

I’ve re-established my main goal in life

Because of your guys’ love and support

I have people in my life that I’m not only friends with, but I am close with. I haven’t had such amazing people in my life before and it’s honestly been so amazing

Throughout everything, my inspiration for the next thing in life has shifted from floating around in the unknown to being able to help you guys

I love you all so so so much

So much more than you can possibly imagine

Thank you

❤️✨

[theartisticcrow]

Silly Game Time: If you were to become the patron deity of one specific aspect of the *natural* world, which aspect would you choose?

It could be as wide as the sky or as narrow as tide pools, as universal as clouds or as localized as one mountain, as alive as animals or as inanimate as rocks. All that matters is that it's of nature and that it feels right for you.

(Personally, I would chose to be the god of dusk, when the sun sets and day fades from the sky to give way to night's gentler moon and stars.)

I think I would be the deity of the northern lights, providing a bit of hope and joy in a part of the world so cold, so barren.

And if I were to be a deity of just anything, I think I would have something to do with knowledge or the correction of misinformation and injustice. Or perhaps I would have something to do with revolution, seeing as the French Revolution is something I take a large interest in and I did spend 11 days writing a 30 page essay about Maximilien Robespierre, explaining why he was not a dictator and why people think that (reactionary propaganda, mostly).

I am tired and feeling a little depressed with the current state of the world right now. Usually I'm optimistic and hopeful (what else can I do in my current position?) and I am quick to correct the idiocy of other people who think murdering innocent people in somehow justified (yes, I have had to deal with this. My strong sense of social justice that came free with the autism doesn't allow me to let it slide [lol that's pretty much how Robespierre died])... But today I just feel a bit sad. Thus why I'm answering this ask even though it is from so long ago. I think I meant to answer it but I forgot.

Of course, I did see a play literally about the holocaust earlier today, so it shouldn't be surprising that it had some effect on me. It was really well down and honestly had me close to tears at a couple points throughout the performance, which is saying something because I don't get that kind of emotional very easily.

If I could be a deity of anything, I think I'd like to be a deity of Hope.

But on a more positive and amusing side of things, look what I happened upon in the lighting booth today

Saw the little Robespierre cut out yesterday and couldn't help myself. Funniest thing is that I am factually correct, it's hardly even a joke at this point.

All that said and done, I'm probably going to lie down now. Hey, at least I have Friday off tomorrow so I finally get to take a break for the first time in over a week. I've got everything together for my best friend's birthday "party" on Saturday. It'll just be us too, he doesn't have any other close friends (his school kind of sucks and people suck). Plan I think is that we'll go bowling then head back to his place. He hates his birthday yet refuses to tell me why, but I'm determined to make it fun. I have an entire wooden chest full of gifts, plus a Bill Cipher poster that I created, since of course he's a big Gravity Falls fan and kind of turned me into on too.

I also am going to give him a few of my rubber rats, a nice cloak that I spent three days fixing up, a harmonica I found in my closet, some other random things including a traffic cone that I painstakingly managed to fit inside the box, and the Book of Bill, which I know he will be delighted to see. I'm not too worried about him seeing this despite him technically having a tumblr account. I think he's already forgotten about it anyways, so...

And then I've got some government exam or whatever on Monday that I'm required to complete if I want to ever graduate high school, but I'm not too worried about it. I am however super excited for November because my Drama teacher is offering to take anyone from my Drama class who's interested to go see a production of the Sweeney Todd musical, so I'll be seeing that next month.

Haven't really got much else going on aside from schoolwork and a slideshow presentation that I'm working on as a science project and already I have failed to take it seriously. The first slide starts out with the caption: ASTRONOMY TIMELINE "What's the worst that could happen" and then the next slide is the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, and then one of the dinosaurs in the image is saying "yeah, I'm sure that's edible" which becomes their last words on a gravestone, so you know this is going to be a good presentation.

Also here's a photo I took of a pigeon while I was in Toronto last weekend.

Sorry but also not sorry if this comes off as weird in any way whatsoever. I've gone completely off topic in regards to the original question but honestly it's just a nice excuse to off about my life because writing my thoughts down always makes me feel better.

If you see this and take the time to read this through, I hope you're doing well and that you're safe and comfortable and I hope that you never have to worry about any terrible things because the world is a terrifying place. I hope you have a good day or night. I hope you're okay and you make sure to take care of yourself. I would be deeply saddened to hear if anything bad happened to you, even despite the fact that I hardly know you.

We're all just people trying to survive and make it through another day. We all have our own concerns and internal conflicts. We all possess our own feelings, whether others realise it or not. I don't care if I hardly know you, I still hope that you feel loved and appreciated.

[teaveetamer]

No hate here, I just want to point out that I think part of why Raxis keeps at it is because he's getting attention. I keep seeing several users talk about him and his actions, and as deplorable as they are, I think he isn't stopping in part because he knows people are talking about him and that he's getting attention. He's going well out of his way to anger people and entire communities if possible, so I think the best thing to do would be to ignore him. Giving him attention will keep him seeking out people to harass.

I know the Edelgard critical community is discussing what he's doing because it's so bad, but I suspect he's thriving on that attention because so many people are talking about him whenever he does something. If he did those things and never got responses from his targets or others who know those targets, I don't think he would keep coming back because he'd realize people are just ignoring him. When bullies see that their victims get upset, they keep doing it because they get a reaction. I think, for anyone who harasses other users, if they didn't get reactions that they would get bored and realize they're just wasting their time.

Don't get me wrong, I think these people are horrendous human beings who take advantage of the internet and how people don't know their real identity to be hateful and harmful to others, but I think the reactions they're getting every single time they do something to someone and how far it spreads within a community is exactly why they keep doing it.

Thank you for being so supportive of the people who are being attacked and are just trying to get away from this kind of thing. Imo I think everyone against the harassers should focus on giving positivity to the content the harassed are creating, like reblogging their art/ideas/fics/etc, and just not even giving the haters the time of day. Imo we should make the people they're hurting happy and give them support, and just ignore the shitty people.

Okay first off, "Edelgard Critical" is not a community, it's a search function. I know he likes to pretend like we're the Tumblr equivalent of r/Edelgard, but it's not a community. It is a search function that many users politely adhere to so people like raxy, who don't like seeing negative takes about Edelgard, can avoid negative takes about Edelgard. I cannot stress this enough. I do not know everyone (or even most people) who use the tag, nor would I have ever known the ones that I do if we didn't all go "hey... wait a minute... I think we're all being harassed by the same guy?"

Anyway anon, here's the problem with this whole "just ignore him!" tactic.

He started harassing Nilsh. We didn't say anything, and we all took the policy of just "ignore him and he'll go away". Many of us (including myself) even blocked him. Then he started spreading Nilsh's name to other social media sites. I'm not even kidding, I got linked to his blog numerous times on Reddit from people I've never even seen or spoken to before and told to go "read what an idiot this guy is". We all ignored raxy for months and if anything it just emboldened him to spread the harassment further and further until Nilsh couldn't take it anymore and quit social media altogether.

Then we thought, alright, maybe it's done now. And then Raxy started harassing Moonlit. And we didn't say anything. We all took the policy of just "ignore him and he'll go away". Then he started spreading Moonlit's name to other social media sites. People mocked their takes and sent hate to their inboxes and in their comments. They literally couldn't even mention Fodlan without getting dogpiled and accused of just awful things. We all ignored raxy for months and if anything it just emboldened him to spread the harassment further and further until Moonlit couldn't take it anymore and deleted everything. And then the stans took over their URL and bragged about what they'd done.

And in the meanwhile, everyone I regularly interact with at this point was getting constant harassing DMs or asks in their inboxes. Sometimes daily. Like, to the point where it was comically obvious that they were all coming from the same/similar people (if not raxy himself).

Then we all called him out on his shitty behavior. Lo and behold, after that his harassment subsided and the anons trickled down over time or stopped entirely.

Raxy starts up, he gets called out, he looks bad, he hides in his hole for a while longer until he thinks the pressure has died down.

Seeing the pattern yet? Ignoring him doesn't stop him, calling him out does.

He's certainly doing this for attention, but not from us. He wants clout from his fellow Edelstannies who feel like he's "doing something" by "knocking us down a peg". He's not discouraged by us ignoring him because that actually makes his clout chasing easier if we aren't saying anything back or defending ourselves from his harassment. It allows him to spread whatever false narrative he likes completely unimpeded, which creates a feedback loop where the harassment begins justifying itself completely independent of anything we do.

I don't think he actually likes getting attention from us. He wants all of us to shut up and stop looking at him so he can continue collecting clout for demonizing us just like he was before. I cannot stress this enough, none of this would be happening if he'd just left us all alone in the first place. We have opinions, they disagree with his, and that literally makes us deserving of psychological abuse in his mind. He's a grown ass man in his mid 30's throwing temper tantrums over the fact that some people on the internet disagree with him. It's ridiculous that I even have to talk about this at all, but, well, here we are.

[queerfox-tales]

* wandering thoughts rant related to what's happening with a certain wizard game out *

After so many posts made regarding the Harry Potter game coming out and how the person that created the series is harming the trans community, the game finally came out. I haven't seen myself many people talking about playing it but I have seen a couple and I'm not sure how to feel. A lot of people don't even realise that by buying the game, they're indirectly giving her money. One of the posts I saw was from such a person. I was surprised that they had gotten the game and made a comment. They thought that the creator only made money from the books. So now they know better but unfortunately the indirect support was still given. It's hard to hold it against them when they didn't understand the connection. Then I saw a post by someone defending themselves saying buying a game means nothing about sharing the same views. I commented and the person switched their argument to pretending they didn't know what they were supporting. *sarcasm* Ya, ok, obviously you're defending yourself for something you had no idea you did; totally makes sense. So that person clearly doesn't care and does support the creator to some degree.

Part of me wants to think about my society and how we're not taught the consequences of the companies/people we give our money to but mostly, when it comes down to it, people just don't care as long as something cost less or is cool. So my mind connects the situation to Disney and some of the political moves I've heard them making in the ... I can't remember if it was mainly Florida or U.S.A. but either way, they've been supporting legislation to harm the gay, and maybe even the whole queer, community.

I have a friend who's obsessed with Disney. I don't know if she knew about the Disney political stuff before I told her but she does now and hasn't stopped giving them money nor plans on stopping. It's confusing. I don't know how to feel.

The stuff I see on social media doesn't help. Half the people saying to stop supporting Disney one month are themselves raving about a new Disney show the next month. Plus there's the people, gay and not, giving Disney all this credit for finally admitting someone was gay in a movie or a show. Gay people are cheering on Disney and making them out to be a hero even though some are also fully aware of the political moves by them. It's so confusing. How am I supposed to be against everyone supporting Disney? It seems I'd have to hate like a majority of people, including gay people.

I still feel weird about the situation with my friend. It does hurt but I'm not sure if I want to end the friendship over it. Disney is a big part of her but mostly, and I know it's an excuse, I've just had so much worse in life. My mother is the kind of person who would force me into those conversion camps if she knew and had the money. I constantly have that over my head until I can be truly free from my parents. I haven't had friends who would physically harm me for any reason, especially being queer, but most have been abusive or just crappy. I'm down to 2 friends so letting another go isn't something I want to do but at the same time, ... I don't know. Back to the stuff before, what am I going to do? Stop talking to her for loving something sold by a company that she now knows financially supports hurting a group of people for being "different"? A company seemingly supported by half the gay community and given all the credit for gay representation as if no other show had ever done it or even tried?

Just thinking about it makes everything seem hopeless. The power and support that company has. And it won't ever go away. They're literally being supported by those they're destroying. I've even seen posts by gay people telling me to be thankful for what "Disney has done for us" "what they've given us". It's madness. The damn company is trying to remove their rights and they're bowing to the company and begging them to represent them more. Is this what society wants? To have some trait of theirs represented in popular cartoons even at the cost of their rights? This is their rights! Do people not understand or honestly not care? Media representation isn't going to do sh*t if it becomes illegal to do anything even perceived as gay in public or in one's own home again.

So ya, I'm just confused what to do. I still think it's wrong to knowingly support these companies and creators. It does say something about the person even if it's just that they don't care. But am I supposed to hate everyone that gives them money in some way? Everyone who chooses to beg Disney to add more queer characters or keep current queer shows rather than ask another big network to do it? You know, a network that hasn't been shown to financially support removing the rights of the same groups asking to be represented.

I feel like I'm fighting the group I want to defend. I've been in that position before in a much smaller context. It makes me want to just do nothing cuz I end up attacked by "both sides". I'm not strong enough to fight off both the ones hurting us and us. What am I supposed to do?

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

i'm trying to be objective about what he Has Done and Has Not Done. there are zero fucking blinders on me. i acknowledge, actively, that he is Enabling A Genocide. i've hated his guts for well over a decade now, and defending him makes me cough up blood.

now, before i run out of napkins to clean up with, pay attention and say it with me:

federally codifying roe v wade in the wake of the supreme court's supreme fuckery, and leaning on congress to fully restore it, is not Nothing

effectively killing the keystone xl pipeline, rejoining the paris climate accord and establishing a path to lower emissions which have, surprisingly, largely been followed through on is not Nothing

mandatory masking, fast-tracking vaccines, and stimulus checks that functionally created a demo for UBI during the early pandemic were not Nothing, and in fact saved potentially millions of lives

literally everything on here that amounted to Nothing or Close To Nothing was fought by republicans, because god forbid The Poors get relief or any guns get taken away from your average xtian ethnonationalist with an assault weapons fetish

outside the original list:

he revived the joy silk doctrine (and personally fired the NLRB's top counsel), resulting in a surge in union membership and power

his appointments include the FCC chair who restored the net neutrality we lost under trump, and a fuckton of judges and policymakers (more than 2/3 of which are women and poc, most of which lean progressive and will be shaping policy for decades to come).

he pushed for a universal insulin price cap of $35 per month and got it as part of the inflation reduction act (which also made green energy sources cheaper and more accessible and had a lot of other great shit bundled into it)

he pushed reforms on the way states handle welfare, preventing them from using TANF funds on projects like abstinence promotion and anti-abortion "clinics", or to fill budget holes in child protective services (that would be used to take the kids away from the parents who would have been better able to take care of said kids if given access to the fucking TANF funds)

he issued a federal pardon for marijuana-related convictions

he's introduced rules to combat disability discrimination

none of that is Nothing. we are actually seeing some of the absolute fucking best domestic policy we've had in my momma's entire lifetime (and, yes, it comes alongside disastrous foreign policy, which, i will note, has been par for the course since the iraq "war" started, if not earlier)

as for "slow progress propaganda"...

slow progression beats fast regression.

obviously most of us want more. we demand better via protest AND strategic voting AND community organizing AND getting personally involved in local, state, and global politics as much as possible

we're all mad and we're not letting his shit slide, but we're not letting misinfo slide either. maybe when you're over your baby tantrum bullshit, i'll hand you a brick and we can build something better together.

[inthelifeofab]

This life isn't what we created... this isn't the life I have always dreamed of. Our life was always supposed to include you. My life was always supposed to include you.. You weren't supposed to leave us behind. But you choose a life that doesn't include us. THIS can't be real life.... Right?

Am I just supposed to stop caring about you because you want nothing to do with us? Am I supposed to pretend I'm happy that you're not around? What am I supposed to do? I "we" have already told you how we felt and that got us nowhere, apparently. What else do you want from us? Our lives are NOT better without you in it. We miss you so much. I miss you so much. I'm starting to resent your dad for not fighting to bring you back home to us. Why don't we get a second chance to make things right? Why don't you ever reach out to us? How can you go from being such a big part of our lives to completely shutting us out?

Not sure if you just totally resent me for wanting to have my own biological kids. But you have always known we wanted to add to our family. And we thought you always wanted siblings. Us wanting to add to our family didn't mean we loved you any less. It didn't mean you were being replaced. It took us 10 years to get Alvey. Im just sorry it took us so long to add to our family. I have always dreamed of being a "mommy". My heart had been longing to be a fulltime parent and wanted to feel needed when you weren't there. The weeks you weren't with us were SOO incredibly hard on me. I counted down the days till you were back with us. I hated doing things that we were supposed to be doing as a family. I hated making your favorite foods, i hated being home and you weren't there. I hated doing anything that was supposed to involve your kids and you weren't there. I missed you so much when you were at your mother's. I miss you so much more now. I wish so much that you would just reach out and say you would like a relationship with us again. I don't just want you back in my like... i NEED you back in my life.

After we lost our baby in 2018. I hit a really deep dark depression.. i hate everything and everyone, i hated life... execpt you, you kept me sane. Every day after surgery you were right by my side, holding my hand and laying your head on my arm. YOU helped me through it. I felt we got even closer than we already were. 2021 I finally felt healed enough to want to try for another. And I wanted you to be involved during the whole process. AND let me just say I never wanted you to feel left out of anything. I wanted to include you in everything.. i literally dictated when we had Alvey based off when we had you. I wanted you there. WE were a family of 3 about to be a family of 4. Like i said before.. i hated leaving you out when you were at your mothers. And even now you haven't lived with us in over 6 months and I still hate leaving you out. Because you are our daughter and it just doesn't make sense for us to share a "family" photo and you not be in it.

"You grew in my heart, not in my belly" Your tattoo means more to me than you will ever know. I have always dreamed of having twinboys and a little girl. Alvey was chosen by me.. solely because i HAD my girl. I didn't want another girl to take away the love I had for you and the beautiful bond we had created. I wanted our girl days.. to stay OUR girls days.. they were very special to me. But never in my life did I dream of having to share my daughter with another woman or that i would be a bonus mom to my daughter. And i especially never thought I could love another womans kid. But I have loved you since the moment you walked into my life. I have cared for you as if you were my own for so long. I've kissed boos, wiped tears, picked you up when you were down, taugh you life lessons, been your shoulder to cry on, your ear to vent to, your hand to hold, your lap to cuddle, your biggest fan, and I have always been there for you and i still am... I'm here just waiting for you to come back into our lives.... longer than just a few moments.. but I'll always be there for you. I'm literally a call away... doesn't matter day or night. i will answer your call. I will be there for you always. No matter where we are in life. Doesn't matter if we havent talked in months... If you ever need anything at all ever... just call me and I will be there. No questions asked.

[wroteonedad]

The Chaos of Martin Creed (love that guy)

I spend most of my time either working, relaxing, playing my Switch games until once every 4 months I remember Martin Creed and the work he creates. Which is everything by the way. If you had to name an artist who is the jack of all trades, it is undoubtedly Martin Creed. This is man who has filled half a room with balloons, literally scrunched up a paper ball and placed it on a plinth and releases songs that are typically repetitive in lyrics. The best part is? He held an exhibition in the Hayward Gallery, Southbank Centre back in 2014 that featured a large selection of various works that filled every part of the galleries space, even the toilet. Creed decided to place these works together in an exhibition because these are works that would look alright together. His words, not mine. He astounds me, because he feels like the most human artist of them all, especially in a world where people begin to sound slightly pretentious after a while of being in the art world and producing a number of successful works.

Work No. 88 A sheet of paper crumpled into a ball. 1995. The work is exactly what it says it is. It typically stands tall on a matching white plinth presenting the question of what art actually is. It is something that subverts every form of 'typical' art that has been created, but I also feel like if you were to ask Creed what the work meant, he would laugh and say it's just paper. Does that mean every time I screw a piece of paper up in anger when I've messed something up that I should keep it and place it on a plinth? Probably not. Mind, this is curated by the same artist who won a Turner Award in 2001 for having an empty room in a gallery where the lights turned on and off on interval. Critics hated it. Creed simply said he enjoyed displaying something like that in a gallery because it was like playing around with light switches in your family home and getting told off for it. Theoretically, this is exactly the same thing. Only he's being told off by the press for coming up with an idea so senseless. It's senseless in a way that anyone could create a piece of work like this, except they probably wouldn't and it's that that makes the work so original.

Work no. 960 2008 is unnamed. It's just one of the many number of works that Creed created and selected to display in this exhibition. The work is a line of 13 different forms of cacti, all in height order. Each one is a different shape, a different thickness and this is without doubt a creation to satisfy the male ego. Is it subtle or is it more something that you have to look at once before you're like, oh yeah this is a phallic piece.

Above we have, Work No. 1686 2013. A Ford Focus that upon a loop; starts up while every door and passageway opens up simultaneously. It sounds like a bad car robbery, alarms blaring, maybe you've pressed the wrong button on the car keys and now everything has broken. It is unbelievable how Creed chooses to present recent large scale works in all of their glory across the gallery space, while still using up every other small space to show off older unseen works. One of his unseen pieces includes a clay sculpture of a fist that was created when he was in school. Another one of his older pieces featured in the gallery space includes a self portrait from 2003 that is on a hand painted wall, which is also part of the installation. It mixes childhood nostalgia, bright colours and condensed objects all together. As part of an artist choice, Creed chose to take down several of the gallery walls to ensure that a large chunk of his works would remain in one large room together.

Work no. 299 Self portrait smiling, 2003.

Although bonkers, loud, erratic and sometimes quite literal in many forms of work curated by Creed, upon deep examination, you come to learn that perhaps Creed isn't just a modern day joke artist after all. There are many notions to the jokes of his works, taking words from the mouths of critics who dislike him and making it into something else; as well as the very classic modern day Dadaism that is integrated into pieces. I think some of these pieces can come across as having a second meaning, something quite glum and a little bit depressing. Massimiliano Gioni explained that the works of Creed have a 'intimate, personal, even melancholy sphere that all too often gets overlooked. On and off, up and down, open and closed are all expressions that could just as easily be applied to moods, happiness and depression, euphoria and dysphoria.' It's not a bad thing though, I think it's a deeper idea that Creed likes to experiment with the more he develops his own works. Bare in mind that Martin Creed himself, has described his own works as stupid. I think the way he speaks of his own works is something that makes him more human, more appealing. It's refreshing to hear someone critique their own work, but not in the way that they use big fancy words to come across as patronising and 'better than you', but to just be blunt and simple.

The show itself allows yourself to become immersed into a giant comedy like show, upon first entry you see work no 142, A Large Piece of Furniture Partially Obstructing a Door in which you do have to slightly squeeze through the door before you even get into the room. I'm just not sure how I would feel walking into this room.. I don't mean that in a bad way, but if I had to squeeze past a sofa that looks like it belonged in a charity shop and then looked up to see Work No 1357 Mothers swinging around above my head, I think I would have simply had a heart attack. Perhaps that is the point really, upon entry to the gallery, you are entering the chaotic mind of Martin Creed. Despite all of the chaos, it is still blunt and simple.

Another great example of becoming immersed within the works is No 200 Half the Air In a Given Space, which is a room which is half full of balloons. You are given the chance to have your own experience in the sea of balloons. It feels a little bit like an adult ball pit, except it's balloons and you can pop them without being escorted out by security. Imagine you're in a white sea of balloons, your hair is sticking to each of them as you're walking through this maze and then all of a sudden you realise you're sharing a space with a group of other adults who also forgot that they're in an art exhibition. I feel like the entirety of What's The Point Of It is to feel like that. To be able to lose yourself and to leave the real world for a short time. To be able to understand the mind of another human being, although at the same time, you still could leave just as confused as you were before you'd even walked into the show. There really isn't a great deal more I could go into from here unless I begin to repeat the same thing. I would love to see a Creed exhibition. I would love to immerse myself in such a large body of work. I would love to take an hour to just stand there and take in every single detail. The low hanging paintings, the farting noises coming from speakers right by the toilets, the classic Ford Focus opening itself up and still going nowhere. Martin Creed is one of my favourite contemporary artists of our timeline and his bonkers work never fails to impress me.

I'll finish this post with the video of Creed talking about the exhibition himself and allow everyone to take the works as they will.

[skaldish]

I'll level with y'all on this—I've been focusing on my store a lot because I'm trying to find an additional source of income in the face of disability.

To the shock of no one, I'm a web designer by trade. My background lies in writing and art. It's not lost on me how much I can do with my skillset...but there's also not a lot I can do outside of it.

A few years ago, I started developing chronic soft tissue damage in my dominant hand due to daily computer-work for my job. This, combined with my rapidly-declining mental health due to the pandemic, forced me to move from full-time to contract with my current employer so I wouldn't completely destroy my body or my mind.

I'm blessed that I live in a state that with quality state health insurance. My living expenses are extremely low and I don't need to make a whole lot to squeak by.

However, I now live with a permanent physical limitation, which limits what I can do on a day-to-day basis. Because of this, I've started to look into setting up long-term investments. This includes literal economic investments like stocks and bonds, but also in projects that will sort of just...semi-run themselves after I put in the work needed to get them going.

Given my skillset, e-commerce is perfect for this.

Let me tell you all a little secret. Setting upon an online store and selling things is stupidly, ridiculously easy. It's even more ludicrously easy when you know how to use what I call "rich people tools"—the kind of online marketing solutions wholeass companies use to advertise and grow.

These tools run like a well-oiled machine. Everything about them is about minimizing effort while maximizing profit. Most so-called "social media," like twitter, facebook, and pinterest? They all integrate with these tools seamlessly, because the true purpose of these websites is to be marketing platforms for business owners, so they can deliver their ads directly to people's eyeballs in environments where their guards are down.

It's actually pretty fucking disgusting.

(I've always hated advertisements and the culture that surrounded them. It's why I don't try to push products too heavily here even though I know I can queue up a million reblogs for them. Knowing what I know now just makes me hate it all even more.)

But anyway, for the last month or so, I've been thrown into an ethical dilemma. I don't want to, and never wanted to, monetize Skald's Keep. Its purpose is to be a free website that competes against the monetization and commercialization of Heathenry.

But it's also supposed to be a trustworthy website. By having a store that clearly sells a plethora of direct-to-consumer products, it looks like I have ulterior motivations, and that's not what I'd call trustworthy.

And yet, I need a livelihood, and e-commerce is the strongest play I've got.

Fortunately, I think I figured out my own problem just by hashing things out here—I need to start my own business separate from Skald's Keep. An entirely different website altogether that's clearly just a store, one I can market to hell and back with the disgusting tools capitalism built for itself without sacrificing my intentions for Skald's Keep.

As for the current Skald's Keep store? I think it would be a BALLER idea to turn it into a hub for indie pagan publications—a place to feature all the devotionals, guides, and workbooks I see so many people here make but don't have one place to put 'em.

It would be stupidly easy too. The product entries can link off to whatever platform you're hosting your book on; lulu, amazon, etc. All you'll have to do is give me the link to your book, the image of the book cover, and the paragraph description, and I'll plug it all in. That way, I can showcase the work of the community without necessarily needing to "recommend" it for educational reasons. You'd basically just take advantage of my high-ranking results on google.

It will also create a library where people can easily find non-Folkish stuff, which takes money away from them and puts it in the hands of the average pagan.

Yes, I think this is the plan y'all. We will have our cake and eat it too.

Thanks for being such a great audience and for putting up with my hair-brained shenanigans as I was working through this. <3

[better-wcrps]

WCRP Staff Despise Their Players

This may be a controversial one. As always, take this with a grain of salt-- I'm pointing out common themes I've noticed and it may be difficult to hear. As someone who has witnessed the interactions and discussions of mod teams and staff of various roleplays– from forums, to Skype, to Discord, and more– I notice often times the staff of a WCRP looks on their community with bitter distaste and worn exhaustion.

Of course, before we get too far there are most certainly lovely and earnest staff teams who still love what they do, their community, and even can find appreciation for the fandom as a whole. I have met some incredible, passionate people. They run roleplays that are genuine love letters to themes and stories they want to tell, solving problems with communication and ease. They plan ahead, design the community they want, and evolve the space they create as needed.

However, it’s been some time since I’ve seen a staff team I’ve interacted with refer to their community in a kind way. To staff, players become ‘freaks’ and ‘weirdos’ who act ‘crazy.’ Perhaps there are cases where this is warranted, after all, dangerous people roam in all communities– this is a fact of the Internet as opposed to an issue with WCRP.

Often times, though, after any minor issue words like that get thrown around. It is the exact kind of detached disgust that makes those same people try to dismiss real issues because it's 'just a warrior cats roleplay.' When a player makes a mistake, staff will proceed to talk about them behind their back beyond a normal manner. Staff chats become spaces for gossip where members are identified as problems and irrelevant experiences with other members or other roleplays are brought up. The WCRP staff I have seen are too often gluttons for gossip.

They are tired of modding, wish they had never started the roleplays they have, and resent the players who expect them to be kind and considerate. I have seen players make earnest pleas for patience on behalf of the mods, some basic consideration– only to be snubbed and then talked about for quite literal years in private mod chats. I have seen in extremely recent times requests for accessibility or accommodations be laughed about and ignored instead of addressed, behind the scenes these mods laugh about why these players can’t be ‘normal’ which is both extremely upsetting and personally hurtful to people who need accommodations. I’ve seen staff who actively choose to ignore or not interact with certain players. I’ve seen staff who make no effort to help players who feel ignored and scorned by the community these very staff have built. You probably have run into these issues with staff teams yourself, I most certainly have. I don't believe these staff teams are inherently bad people, usually they're so burnt out or bitter that they have built incredible and damaging distance between the very real people in their communities.

Many, many times this is because these staff teams did not implement basic rules or abide by extremely basic professionalism when managing or beginning their roleplays. They hate the monster they built by letting players get away with absolutely anything. Rules should serve as the guideline for the roleplay you want, setting clear boundaries before it even becomes a question. The sheer amount of roleplays with staff that admit outright they had no idea what rules to implement or had to include basic rules far later than they should have is staggering. A good roleplay should change and grow as needed, yes. You should not, however, be laying basic boundaries with a community months or even years into the creation of it.

In regards to professionalism, things are rarely handled with grace or kindness. There’s many times an underlying or quite apparent tone– staff will lose their temper with you. Discussions lack mediators. Moderation is lacking. A staff team should be keeping track of everything you can. Find a bot that maintains logs of edits and changes, record everything, keep organized. To keep records of everything is basic– it protects both you and your players.

And I say this with such deep emphasis, you should never do anything you hate. If you as a roleplay runner or mod team member feel tethered to your community, stressed out beyond belief, and you gain zero joy from it, please step down or make foundational changes. Close the roleplay, pass it on to someone who has passion for it. Or reexamine how you approach things and find the joy again, whatever it takes. It’s not fair to your players for you to view them with cynicism, as someone you owe your time and energy to rather than friends or players to provide a fun space for. It’s not fair to you to torture yourself and pour all this time and energy into something you truly despise.

I see often as well that these staff members are here only to roleplay with their friends, or fellow mods. You will see the same groups of people across a variety of roleplays, the same mindset, the same approach to modding. This is extremely deeply rooted and regardless of platform. If you have had an issue in one roleplay, you risk having the same issue in another given how close knit the community is– how common these mistakes are. In fact, you probably have had the same issue in another roleplay.

To any staff reading this, take a look at your roleplay. How you feel about it. If there is something good still there, if you still love your roleplay and the potential– I urge you to please take a look at how you talk about your players. How much you talk about them, what words you use to describe them. Are you brushing off basic requests? Are you finding yourself bitter or picking out only specific members to roleplay with? Does checking notifications for it fill you with utter dread? That’s not normal. Something needs to change.

Before you even think about beginning a roleplay, it is essential you do your research into others that work, draw on your past experiences, and prepare prepare prepare. Part of the purpose of this blog is to give you some idea of what things need to be in place before you do so, and I hope it can be of some help. I understand this may be difficult to hear, but I know I'm not the only one whose noticed these things and again I hope by bringing it up openly we can improve as a whole.

[sasquapossum]

Supporting Journalism

I'm very ambivalent about online newspapers etc. constantly trying to get me to subscribe. On the one hand I do want to support the people who actually do the work to bring us news. Yes, real journalists do still exist, and care about the truth, and work hard. I do think that's worth paying for.

On the other hand, I've long felt like the major online newspapers have dropped the ball on creating a common payment platform. They've had decades to put something like that together. I don't even care if it's subscription based or per-article with micro-transactions. Just put something - anything! - together so that people like me who want to pay can do so easily, smoothly, without dozens of passwords to deal with and dozens of possibilities for credit-card details to get stolen when the all-too-frequent compromises happen.

Then on top of that they're so fucking greedy. The standard subscription amount seems to be US$10/month, "discounted" down to half that. Well, I'm sorry, but I read articles from a lot of sources. Even if I narrowed it down to a dozen at half price, that's still $60/month. Yes, I can afford it. Yes, it's still too damn much ... especially when the content I'm willing to pay for is commingled with content I very much am not. By contrast, the artists and such I support on Patreon mostly ask for just two to five dollars per month - more value (and more consistency) for less money. The newspapers and magazines are worse than the proliferation of video-streaming companies, supposedly replacing cable but in aggregate costing even more.

Between those two reasons, I've generally supported only a very few outlets that have a consistently high output of stuff that meets journalistic standards. Currently the list includes Washington Post (even though they also publish stuff that's truly execrable), New Yorker, and Atlantic. I should probably add Guardian, and maybe Vanity Fair. Who ever knew that Vanity Fair would be near the top of the heap? Rolling Stone and Cracked are also good more often than you might think, and that's flat out amazing. There are also local-news aggregators such as Patch and Wicked Local that seem worth supporting to keep that part of the business alive.

On the flip side, I have to give a special giant fuck you to two publications in particular. The first is New York Times. Why? Glad you asked. Two reasons mainly.

They have a strong and clearly self-interest-based hatred of anything tech, because tech has eaten their lunch. Part of me gets that, and might even accept it if it stayed on the opinion pages, but it constantly affects their so-called news as well.

They are the absolute worst when it comes to exaggerating anything negative about Democrats and minimizing anything negative about Republicans. They don't generally seem to hate leftist, liberal, progressives, or whatever. Just the Democrat party. Somebody once said that the only way their behavior makes sense is if you realize that they (and many other papers) just hate Democrats, and it's true. For whatever reason, they must want Democrats to lose. To that end they provide all the ammo the splitters and quitters need to fuck up the 2022 and 2024 elections. Again. We can't afford that.

Then there's the absolutely putrid Wall Street Journal. They actually do seem to hate everything to the left of Bill Koch or Sheldon Adelson, so in a way they're more honest than NYT ... but still, keep it on the opinion page. WSJ's characteristic failing is that even their "news" organization is egregiously, aggressively slanted. They're nothing but propaganda. BTW likewise for Forbes, Bloomberg, and practically anything else with a financial focus. Being too close to the finance industry simply corrupts people, which is neither an original observation nor one worth pursuing here except to say that it makes it literally impossible for a finance-focused publication to be a trustworthy news source. Like NYT (and their puppet Boston Globe), WSJ will never get any money from me. No how, no way.

So, there you have it: less than ten newspapers or magazines worth supporting, out of hundreds or perhaps thousands. The bad ones are more numerous (and more profoundly awful) than any that are at all good. Don't tell me podcasts or other online sources are any better BTW; the ratio there seems exactly the same. That's why I support only a few sites, use an array of browser extensions to strip paywalls from most others, and use archive.is for the remainder. If magazines and newspapers want my money, they need to earn it and few do.

[terrence-silver]

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave." - Y'all I've thought about this quote for so long with Terry Silver

Terry Silver snapped.

The meticulously built, careful facade of the mask that was his life - his whole entire personality (or at least one of them) - his precisely, painstakingly curated self was on the verge of slipping off and cracking irrevocably at the seams. And he was always so cautious - so rigorous - with it before. Built the immaculate cult that was Terry Silver up to perfection. The Forbes All-Star. The Self-made CEO Inspirational Story of ‘79. The Billionaire. Most desirable bachelor in LA. The Wall Street sensation. The Man of the Year. Right after that, the Most Controversial Man of the Year. All for what? For some literal nameless pest to come along and destroy it all internally, singlehandedly? No, no, correction - you weren't a pest. You were by far worse. You were the love of his life. And all he wanted was to crush you with his bare hands and keep your living, breathing, bleeding heart in a diamond-encrusted box under key somewhere where it could never escape him again and occasionally glare at it in judgement. Because, you really pushed him to this extreme - yes - where he was contemplating the literal worst. He couldn’t allow himself to be this affected. This inflamed. This controlled from the inside by forces he couldn’t find a way to fend off against without doing something that wasn’t prudent. Terry trained himself to be as cool as a needle. Cool as a spritzer. So, how dare you come along and rattle everything to it’s core?

Who gave you the right?

You didn’t like that he lied to you about who he was. That was the first. You didn’t understand how someone could hide so many important, crucial things about themselves and still expect to be taken seriously. Okay, alright. How stupid of you, but alright. After that, you didn’t like what he actually did for a living. Like all these third world dumps actually mattered in the long run? To literally anyone? Certainly didn’t matter to him. He fought and bled in one before, he had no sympathy for places like that and honestly, they deserved the destruction he’s brought upon them by the ten-folds. He was doing everyone a favour - including the people living there by slowly ridding them of their misery. You had the perfect, palatial bubble he provided. With all the comforts humanly imaginable. Why did what happened outside of here even hold such weight to you anyway? Did you plan on moving to Rwanda or something? That could be arranged. Last and third of all, you claimed you’re - what was the word you used - ah, yes, frightened, by what he was really like. Cruel, cold and calculating, you said. Not a warm man. Not gentle and sweet and caring like he initially presented himself. Not the easily-digestible, safe, tame picture of angelical purity he painted for you. You wanted your poor, humble Terry Silver. The one that had trouble getting students in his dojo and who lied he had issues paying the electrical bill in his studio at the end of every month. That’s the one you wanted. The real one scared you. Creeped you out. You wanted to run from that one.

Well, too bad.

The real one was keeping you.

He was almost jealous of the very persona he himself created.

Terry Silver almost despised that other, far lesser Terry Silver.

His dumb, overly polite mannerisms - his whole demeanour. 

But, no worries, you weren’t leaving here any time soon.

Not with the electrical wires around the mansion.

Not with the locks and keys and the security.

The cameras, the walls, everything.

How could you, really?

-"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave." -

He implored on one occasion and Terry Silver didn’t have the habit of even remotely asking - least of all imploring, when you refused to come down and have a nice, civilized dinner with him in the main hall, turning your back to him while in bed, for the seventh day in a row like this was some kind of Beauty and the Beast scenario, for crying out loud! How he hated the parallels of it all. You didn’t care that he had that particular vintage Italian wine imported especially for you to taste and he’s started running out of ideas how to please you and lift your spirits. Make your stay here comfortable. Attractive, even. He’s considered the concept of Stockholm Syndrome as such in theory, but seems like the very reverse was happening, unplanned, once again. Disgraceful. Degrading. He was fussing over his own prisoner and it was angering him. Enraging him. How did you not understand that while he had at least several personalities he accordingly interchanged whenever the situation called for it, the one similarity they all shared was that they all adored you? Little insignificant lucky you? Was that sappy to confess to oneself? Was it? Maybe. Probably. But, that’s why Terry knew he was snapping. He literally just offered to be some nobody’s slave if they only do as he asks and reciprocate with some goddamn passion. This was dangerous. Humiliating.

And that was exactly - precisely - why you had to be hidden away.

Tucked away right here where nobody but he can find you.

Just let all this madness in his brain stew for a while.

So he could plan his next course of action calmly.

Figure out what to do with you - strategically.

He could kill you, for starters.

That would be logical.

A prime solution.

But then, why’d he have this engagement band pre-picked out?

[beebubb]

William grossman: becoming a pasta

(also i mention my OC amari here but they're just friends and roommates here. No romantic things)(also this might be kinda long and I mention some stuff about my creepypasta AU so if you don't wanna be confused you can check it out!)

Like I mentioned in an old post, will and LJ went on a lot of self discovery adventures for Will.

It was always will's dream to become a popular killer like Jeff but sense he couldn't actually bring himself to kill someone, he would doubt himself a lot and would sometimes just be so upset or angry at himself

Will: maybe coming to the underworld was a mistake.. I shouldn't have come here...

LJ: come on bud! There's gotta be something here you're good at!

They had literally tried many things.

Will worked for a surgeon for literally a day before he got fired. He couldn't bring himself to dissect someone. Yes he had seen dead bodies before out on the street but he couldn't bring himself to be the one to actually commit to doing it

He also tried to be a bounty hunter/hitman but, ended up quitting immediately after he was told to kill a family

He even worked at a black market that was hiring someone to just care for the oragans they sold. It was going pretty well but, lets say it was will's first time seeing an actual beating human heart

Will: what else could I be good at?!? Everything here involves killing! And I can't even kill someone if it depended on my damn life...

LJ: you could still try for your dream of being a slender proxy!

Will: but being a proxy involves killing! Maybe I should just go back to the human world... I don't even have my mark! I didn't get a permanent smile like Jeff or red bleeding eyes like ben!

Amari: I don't have any cool marks either!

Will: but atleast you got skulls shapes on your eyes! I didn't get anything! Maybe I just wasn't meant to be here...

Amari hated seeing will so upset. She knew his dream was to work for slenderman, and obviously, she wanted him to achieve it. She got lucky and worked for him from time to time, so she was sure she could talk to slender and see if will had a chance.

How he met slenderman

Amari went to see her boss a few days later. AKA slenderman. She explained to him his situation and, he actually wanted to meet him!

Slenderman isn't judgemental like many in the underworld think he is. He can see potential in someone even at their lowest.

She obviously went to the apartment to tell will the good news

Amari: will! You aren't going to believe this but i talked to slenderman about you and....he wants to see you!

Will: what?!? Are you serious?!

Amari: yep!

Will: holy shit!! Let me take a quick shower then!

Will took a shower and once he was ready he followed amari to the slender mansion.

Once they got there, masky did the regular check for weapons on him (it's normal for them to check new people that go into slenderman's meeting room just to make sure of any weapons or suspicious items)

Will was calm but was holding in his inner fanboy.

"I can't believe I'm seeing slender's most valuable proxy!!! Holy shit!!!"

LJ wasn't all that excited sense he already knew pretty much every pasta and knew what it was like living in the mansion/manor.

LJ: "what a hassle...."

LJ wasn't really aware of all the dangers the proxies tried to prevent. He just saw it as a way to show off their wealth and to think they were better than others

Once they were clear, masky took them to the meeting room

Even if will wasn't sure if he could get a chance working with slenderman, there was one thing he was definetly certain of.

Get their autographs

No way he was gonna waste his visit to the slender mansion and NOT get their autographs.

Masky: you may go inside

Will: um....could i get your autograph please?

Masky: oh, yes

Will: yes!! *takes out a scrapbook he made* here!

Masky: *signs in* there

Will: thank you so much!!!

LJ: come on! You look like a dork!

Will: ok ok! And I'm not gonna waste my visit and not get their autographs *goes into the meeting room*

Once they got in they were immediately greeted by slenderman

"Glad you came here william, please, take a seat"

William was so excited by seeing slenderman in person but was also terrified about what he would think of him.

Will became really shy and nervous while talking

Slenderman: so i heard you were interested in working with me later on but you had a few doubts on your own abilities, could you tell me more?

Will: i um....*fidgeting with his fingers*

LJ: he wants to be a proxy but he has trouble actually killing someone. So we wanna know his chances of actually becoming one

Slenderman: ah I see, well I'll have to look at some other assets, do you have any school documents?

Will: *nods and takes out a folder with his school papers*

These kind of meetings were actually pretty common so slenderman already knew what to look for in school documents

Will's grades weren't that good tbh

He had many subjects he struggled with. On his report cards, pretty much every subject had D's and C's, and the occasional F's. Only is P. E he had a B.

Slenderman usually looked for atleast a B average

Though the only straight A's that will got, were in chemistry

Slenderman: I see you're proficient in chemistry, how come that's the only subject you get A's in?

Will: well um.... It's pretty much the only subject that I like....

Slenderman: may I ask what your under realm mark you for when you arrived here?

Will: i didn't get anything...

Slender seemed kinda surprised at his answer.

He opened up a locked drawer on his desk and took out a heavy book and went through the pages and stopped at one with a picture of a hand with lines

Slenderman: may I see your hand?

Will: uh... Sure? *shows him his hand*

Slenderman seemed really intrigued with will's hand.

LJ and Amari were extremely confused.

Amari knew pretty much the process of these type of meetings but when she was applying as an apprentice for slenderman, slender didn't ask to see her hand like he did with will

Once slender was done checking will's hand, he looked through more of his records

LJ: um.... So what do you think? He has a bit of potential right?

Slenderman seemed lost in though for a second but replied

"William, have you ever took any.... Magic classes or considered taking one?"

The three of them were surprised.

Like, magic? They knew that magic existed in the underworld but why would he think will would Want to study it?

Magic is a really complicated subject and depending on what element you were granted or want to control, it takes a lot of discipline and training and it is rarely recommended to the top students at the institution sense it was pretty much college level

LJ: why do you ask that?

Will: yeah I mean... I'm barely passing and I don't know if my grades are even good enough for me to graduate this year.

Slenderman: well i don't know how you didn't see this before but, look

Slenderman turned the book to their direction

LJ and amari were shocked

LJ: will you?!?

Will: *looking at the book and at his hand* wait....holy shi-i mean oh my god! I have powers?!

Slenderman: i looked through your records and i see you're part of the grossman family.

LJ: uh yeah he had a great grandpa but how does that explain this? He never had any sort of contact with magic

Slenderman: maybe not him exactly but, she did

Slenderman pulled out a picture from isaac's record folder (all demons and rulers from hell and the under realm have a record of their citizens) and pulled out the picture of a woman

Slenderman: she's ida grossman. Isaac grossman's great grandmother. She was killed for practising witchcraft. It would explain why will was granted magic here in the under realm.

LJ: sense he has this power, how come i never saw it before? I've been with him ever sense he was born!

Slenderman: well his power is still undeveloped sense he never had any proper training or took any classes. He has the mark on his hand but if he wants to actually use his abilities, he'll need to start practicing.

LJ now understood, and was happy for will

LJ: how can he start?

Slenderman: well,i have a proxy named sherry that knows about this, she could be will's tutor. Also I have been really interested in getting an apprentice with magical abilities but it has been difficult finding one, but if will wants to work with me then..

Slenderman took out an apprentice application

Slenderman: I could take him in as my personal sorcerer

LJ: well, what do ya say bud? Do you wan-

Will: yes!!!!!

Will didn't even think twice on his answer. Of course he wanted to work as slenderman's apprentice in magic.

He felt like his life had literally no direction but now everything was changing. He felt more confident than ever

LJ: do these classes have a price or somethin'?

Slenderman: it's usually 50 per class in a normal school but it depends if my proxy wants to charge for them or not sense she teaches them individually.

Will: oh....

Amari: ah don't worry i can pay for them!

Will: you don't gotta do that!

Amari: it's fine! You're my friend, we should help each other out

Slenderman: so I'm guessing that it's settled then?

Will: yeah!

Slenderman: alright then, I'll just need a signature of your parent or guardian on the application

LJ gave his signature

Slenderman: thank you. Well you're ready to go. All you need to do now is finish your last month at the institution and once you're done, I'll have amari bring you here again to start your training.

Will: yes! Thank you! Um one more thing, could I get your autograph sir?

Slenderman: oh yes of course!

Once slenderman signed his notebook they thanked him and were free to go

Who knew that will was more special than many thought he was.

I hope you guys liked this! I'll be making more parts!

Also i know will wasn't really developed in the Creeps comic so I kinda let myself create his character more.

Also this was inspired by a headcanon I saw where will was granted powers so I wanted to include that into his character.

[slade-neko]

Saw this video game tag thing pop up on my dash a few days ago. Wanted to do it.

1. First game you played obsessively? Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I believe I was 5yo. Still waiting on that FF7 Remake treatment.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. Well if I play a game and like it, then I'll create sims of it. Does that count?

3. Who did you play with as a kid? My brother from the day I was born.

4. Who do you play with now? My brother FROM THE DAY I WAS BORN.

5. Ever use cheat codes? I wasn't lying when I made this post. {link}

6. Ever buy strategy guides? Yes! Mainly to look at the artwork though. (Don't need no guide!)

7. Any games you have multiple copies of? Lots of games, most being Left 4 Dead with 6 copies (3 Xbox 360, 1 PC case, 2 PC digitally.) What can I say, its a GOOD GAME!

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection? Gold cartridge Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time (maybe that's rare?)

9. Most regrettable purchase? I don't regret my purchases, but I have received games I have never played like Cubix (PS2) no clue where that game came from, but I have it somehow. Madagascar (Xbox 360) came with my Xbox 360, never opened it from its case. And Monsters Inc. Scream Arena (Gamecube) or something... it was a gift.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games? I'm only friends with people BECAUSE of video games, so yes.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games? No, that'd be ridiculous.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has? Probably a lot, I'd say Call of Duty, but I technically played CoD 1, 2, and 4. The campaign mode was alright, but I don't really care for CoD games at ALL.

14. Favorite game music? Koji Kondo and Grant Kirkhope are two BIG ones.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick? Triforce is the most basic option, but I'd rather not get a tattoo.

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL? Super Smash Bros. Brawl with hacks, but that was over a decade ago.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game? No, that'd be ridiculous.

18. Would you date someone that hates gaming? No, that'd be RIDICULOUS.

19. Favorite handheld console? PSP. 3DS is great, but PSP Monster Hunter has ALL of my portable gaming memories. Like playing in school after End of Grade tests with my friend.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand? Sims 4 I like to think I know everything about Left 4 Dead. Quite a bit about Monster Hunter, more so of a series though than a specific game.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now? I'd say Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. I loved it as a kid, but had a lot of complex pen & paper RPG mechanics that I never understood. I understand a lot more of it now, but its still complex as all heck. I just know you hit things, they die.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories? That's the only thing I wear.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into? Not sure so I'll list a few. Sims 4, Smash Bros. Brawl, Monster Hunter (its a series though), or Left 4 Dead

24. First Pokemon game? Leaf Green

25. Were you ever an arcade game player? No, don't like paying to play.

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries? No.

27. Game that makes you rage? I don't get mad at games, but I had a custom modded Hard Eight mutation in Left 4 Dead that is absolute bullsh*t!

28. Ever play in a tournament? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

29. What is your gaming set up? A giant wall of video game consoles spanning from NES to Switch, 4 TVs, but I sit at a desk with a PC.

30. How many consoles do you own? "I own every console that's ever existed." - I Don't Play Games When I Play Games (My STRENTH) original song by Smooth McGroove BUT no seriously I own 32 consoles including handhelds.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches? Yes. 3DS gave me headaches though I only really played with the 3D feature in Ocarina of Time 3D. I think my eyes broke because I couldn't get my 3D to work very well after.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic? Sure I play games based on a lot of things. Literally any anime game. If I had to pick Dragon Ball Xenoverse is kinda like a dream Dragon Ball game. Oh, Attack on Titan 2 is pretty neat too!

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games? Some SEGA plug-n-play thing once. Played it like once and now its lost to time (or my closet.)

34. Do either of your parents play video games? Yes. Mom and Dad played NES Super Mario Bros. My Dad went HARD at that game until he saved the Princess. Then he quit forever.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop? "Hi. Welcome to Gamestop!"I never want to hear that again, but it was my main store until I went full digital/ online orders.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game? No, I don't tend to get upset or emotional, but Bill dying in Left 4 Dead made me pretty pissed.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination? Never played it. I don't really play "bad" games, but maybe Sims 4.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like? The Sims 4

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make? Dragon's Dogma 2 WHICH I think is actually in development, so I'd have to say Fallout New Vegas 2. C'mon Bethesda you cowards, hand the keys back over to Obsidian so they can make another good Fallout game!

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls? Two part question, two answers. VR Headset to immerse in world, yes. Motion Controls, no.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into? MOBAs and MMOs. I don't like paying to keep playing.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness? Nintendo 64 opened me up to what video games could be as a kid. Sad to say my parents' NES didn't really do that for me. And years later Fallout 3 was a big game changer for me too.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else? Every day of my LIFE.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters? None. I'd rather emulate.

45. How are you at Mario Kart? Pretty dang good. 3-STARS MARIO KART WII, BABY!

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon? Yes, both of those. I preferred when Animal Crossing had more character to it. New Horizons looks so pretty, but feels so bland compared to classic AC.

47. Do you like competitive games? No. Not really. Usually amongst friends or if I can get competitive against AI Bots. I love my machine bot friends cause they don't cry like 10 year olds when they lose.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character? Too long. I've seriously restarted games because I wasn't happy with my character's appearance.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character? Yes, I am always the magic man, my brother is always brute warrior, and my friend is the ranger.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create? I don't really know. Honestly, I'd rather mod already good games to make them better than create something completely new.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep? No, that'd be ridiculous. But I've had a friend fall asleep playing games at my house 3 different times and currently dozes off during our Minecraft sessions. So, maybe that's not a completely ridiculous thing after all.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid? Kirby 64 apparently. My brother tells me we had to count out pennies to buy it. I must've been too young with no recollection, but I believe it.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days? It's good if its not in the game's files from the beginning and is actually developed AFTER launch... and pre-order bonuses should be standard DLC a month or two later. Some games have content lost to time because of that pre-order bullsh*t.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales? Of course. If you want a game and its on sale then why not? I typically wait just for Steam sales to get games.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them? No? I typically make people and characters I like in Sims. I've made villains like Dio, but he's an anime villain and I don't really HATE him despite the horrible things he's done.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests? No. Never played that game.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements? I try to for all the games I really like.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick? The Sims 4, Skyrim, & Fallout: New Vegas. Mods make them live forever. Left 4 Dead and Monster Hunter are good choices too.

59. Do you play any cell phone games? Those aren't games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code? No? But I'll take a guess. Is it make an IP and forget it exists?

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever? Keep forever... even the bad ones.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game? PS4 Pro for Monster Hunter World. It was basically for early access since the PC version was being developed and releasing after PS4, but I don't like waiting.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? Sort of. Been to anime cons and walked into the gaming tournament rooms only to walk out less than 10 minutes later.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming? No, but I'm going to be doing that soon, hopefully.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file? GameShark for N64, PS2, Gameboy, and Action Replay for Gamecube, DS, 3DS. And no not really, I would cheat responsibly... but there was this one time at school my friend and I borrowed another friend's Gameboy game, loaded it up with my Gameshark, tried playing, it crashed, loaded it back up, save file corrupted... we just stared at each other jaws dropped, "Here's your game back, dude. Make sure you don't play it til you get back home!"

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it? No, but I remember seeing them on billboards in the game DRIV3R on PS2.

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share? Every game I play is filled with happy memories (mostly.)

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool? These tiger plushes. My brother got white and I got orange. They were the coolest. Got a butt load of tickets from some jackpot spinning light game thing as I was good at the timing with repeated jackpot hits.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? I've played quite a few masterpiece games, but to pick one, I'd say Fallout: New Vegas

70. Very first game you ever beat? Super Mario 64. I was a mere child on a Sunday morning and ate celebratory pancakes made by my Dad.

Wow, that was long... I get the feeling this was supposed to be a "send me ask with numbers" thing, but answering all at once is more fun.