#I've learned a lot about how people learn music I have a master's degree in how people learn music

[rulesforthedance]

I’m not amazing at any one musical instrument, but I’m decent at many, because that is what’s expected of music teachers (which is what I was for nine years) and because it is my nature to be proficient at many things and great at none (I’m not saying this derogatorily, I actually think it’s a fine and useful way to be). And when people find out that I play a bunch of instruments, they’re always wistfully like “oh, I wish I’d learned to play an instrument. I always wanted to play [specific instrument].” And I’m like, do it! Learn to play an instrument! It’s not that hard. There’s this misconception that you can only do it as a kid and that’s so far from the truth. You probably won’t become a world-class prodigy if you start as an adult, but the vast majority of people who start as kids won’t either, lol. And there are advantages you have as an adult. You have intrinsic motivation. You have a greater ability to stick with something that doesn’t immediately yield your desired results. Even if you feel like you don’t and are frustrated with your attention span and executive function, you’re still almost certainly better at those things than a five-year-old. You have mature motor skills. Depending on the instrument, you’ll likely sound ok sooner than you would have as a kid. Learn an instrument! Defy the fallacy that you’re stuck with only the skill set you’ve acquired by your mid-twenties! 

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Read It and Weep- Part 1

Pairing: NFL!Player!Rafe Cameron x Journalist!Reader

Summary: Sports journalist Y/n is covering a pro-NFL football game when she gets knocked down by wide reciever Rafe Cameron. He helps her up and immediately can't seem to take his eyes off of her as they celebrate their win. After, at the post game conference, him and the reader share an interesting conversation and he learns (earns) her name.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Violence, swearing, I think that's it honestly.

Song: "My Ordinary Life" by The Living Tombstones

A/n: This might be the most excited I've ever seen @tee-swizzle get over a fic I've written. This is some serious hot and cute and angsty shit, buckle up, it's quite a ride. This is part 1 of 10!

I always thought the only time I would enjoy men running around in costumes would be on Broadway.

The sophisticated, planned, calculated moves, the falsetto notes they hit while running around in expensive costumes that took hours and hours to create. Men on Broadway are just a whole other breed- don’t get me wrong, all actors and actresses alike are all impressive beyond belief, it’s a hard field to be a part of. But there’s something so groundbreaking and heartwarming to see men of all backgrounds doing what they love to do.

There’s just an art to it- Broadway- a beauty that a lot of people brush off and denounce as girly or even something that’s remarkably easy. They call theater kids loony (which coming from one, I’d have to agree just a bit), they’re constantly bullied and harassed but not when they make it to the big times. No- then they are set up on this pedestal where they are to be paid hundreds or thousands of dollars to get on stage, to dance and sing their favorite show tunes together where all of a sudden they’re people to look up to, forgetting all about their high school days and all the failed auditions that teared them down. But once they’re on that stage together, creating music and art, they’re a family in a sense. Leaving it all on the stage for the viewer, us, to enjoy. 

A brotherhood.

My new stage looks a little bit differently than it did when I was sixteen. 

My new stage consists of something similar- men, running around in matching outfits, same bright lights shining on them, sweat pouring down their necks, and they’re still a brotherhood- maybe even more so in a sense. But with this stage, there’s profanities, there's violence and, most of all, there are too many balls in one place at one time. 

Pun so intended.

The world of sports is not one that I saw myself getting into at the ripe age of twenty four, let alone football. I’ve always had a bit of a thing against football players but that happens when you grow up in the theater world where you’re constantly pushed around by the ‘higher class’ of the horrible high school hierarchy, being called names, shoved down stairs, having your lunch tossed into your lap. But the job that I was offered through a local journal in my hometown was just perfect for me- I couldn’t not take it. There would be no other job that could've come around that would’ve given me the same freetime and the ability to still have control over my schedule, all while supporting my home team. It gave me a chance to travel, to learn, and to be surrounded by attractive, sweaty men doing their thing. 

There’s a bit of a silver lining to it, I guess.

Working as a journalist for a professional football team was not the intended goal when I got my Bachelors degree in Journalism, nor was it the plan for my Masters. I wanted to go into freelancing or maybe dabble a bit in the socioeconomic crisis our country’s suffering from- maybe even write a few articles on how to save the turtles or some shit. 

But football? 

I spend most of my days on the sidelines, sketching down stats, learning plays and keeping up in the personal lives of our devoted players. I’m like one of those cheerleading girls I used to hate, practically a groupie of the team at this point. Even the coach and the other behind-the-scenes workers are on a first name basis with me at this point. 

Sixteen year old me would be disgusted- repulsed.

Current me? Not so disgusted as I’m watching a bunch of tall, bachelor-like men run around the field at top speed, tackling each other as the crowd colored in all different jerseys scream or boo in unison. I can’t fight the proud smile that’s on my lips as I look out at the field, just right there in front of me- I could reach out and just be a part of it. There’s something to home games that just gets your blood pumping in a special way, especially so close to playoffs, so close to glory and a big old fancy ring for our quarterback and team. It’s every team’s goal for the year but every news agency’s eyes are on us, watching us and the players so closely, betting and guessing that we’ll be the one to win everything this year. No pressure, right?

It’s an honor to be traveling with them all, I couldn’t have been paired with a more respectful group of men, even though some of them don’t even know my name or that I exist. They might see my name occasionally at the bottom of an article I’ve written about their triumphs or losses or they know me as the girl that they accidentally mistake for the water girl and who they then apologize profusely to following the mix up. 

Sarah the water girl and I look awfully a lot we’ve learned.

There’s not a lot of time left in the game now, less than two minutes in the last quarter and it’s tight, too close for comfort as the men in the front row of the stands scream their asses off, acting like their words will have any weight in the overall game. With how we’re playing right now, the defensive line tuckered out beyond belief, we’re not looking at winning, especially if they hold possession of the ball like they have been. The other team is smart, I’ll give them that, gnawing down at the clock, running down the time so if we did get the ball, we’d barely have the time to do anything remotely impressive. We’re down by 6 and if we’d just get a touchdown we’d be good and we would win, but we just need to get possession of the ball.

I write down the numbers of the players who’ve stuck out to me the most on this team to calm my nerves; number three Cameron offense, number seventeen McHarley defense, number 4 the quarterback- wait. 

 Why is everyone cheering? 

What just happened? 

Looking up from my notepad, I watch as our defense runs the ball in the opposite direction that we were going in before, instead towards the opposing team's endzone, indicating that, indeed, there was a turnover of some sort while I wasn’t paying attention. If that’s all it takes, my job just became a whole lot easier. 

The play resets, our offensive line and our quarterback stumble onto the field with a bit more pep in their steps compared to their previous run. They’re cheering and high fiving the defense as they pass each other in the middle of the field, bright smiles calming everyone's general anxiety and setting the record straight that we’re still in the game. There’s still a chance. 

They set themselves up within seconds and in moments they’re hiking the ball. I watch number three, one of my favorite wide receivers to watch, simply because of his overall spunk and sass for the game, subtly loving when he gets into little fights with people because I can always manage to hear his silly, boyish insults. He tries so hard to act tough, when he's really just the biggest puppy of all time. 

I’m so caught up in thinking about him, I completely miss him barreling my way just as the quarterback throws the ball in his direction. Cameron is wide open, no one even close to tackling him and I can hear him whooping as he runs towards the end zone. I grin wildly as he catches the ball, solidifying our win, and before the refs even signal for a TD, the whole crowd erupts in giggles and cheers. I go to clap and cheer for him but before I can, an opposing player is giving him one last shove for good measure and he is tumbling onto the ground, the ref beside me immediately throwing a flag into the air, just as Rafe slides in my direction full force. 

Before I can move, he takes me down to the ground. Hard. 

I hit the floor with a loud thud, ears ringing as my head slams against the turf and I can hear muffled voices and hands grabbing at me, brain rattling around in my head as I shove my eyes closed as tightly as they can, hands reaching up to cradle my aching skull. I can feel people trying to pry me up onto my feet, to help me up but I’ve barely even processed that I’ve fallen or that my favorite wide receiver is currently laying on both of my legs, trapping me to the ground. 

My eyes pop open moments later at the realization and I see cameras around me, mostly pointed at Cameron who’s kneeling in front of me, soft, blue, worried eyes gazing back at me as I struggle to find my voice. He looks at me, waiting for me to speak and, when I don’t, he simply reaches out, placing a firm, protective hand on the side of my head, steading my spinning eyes. I feel my body warming up at his touch, the loud, thrumming music playing in the stadium as an attempt to celebrate is drowned out by his voice filling my ears, his whole body leaning towards me so he can speak directly against the shell of my ear. 

“You good?” He yells over the cheering, thumb brushing against my temple, and I realize he’s not even celebrating the fact that he just won the game that’s sending us to playoff games, mapping the road to the Superbowl. I give him a half assed nod and a flushed smile and before I can say anything else, his teammates are pulling him up and into their arms, screaming loudly as boys can, all for the cameras as they pat each other on the helmets, knocking them together every once in a while.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I mutter to myself, pressing my pointer finger and thumb to the bridge of my nose to aid the headaches that’s creeping up the back of my neck, taking deep breaths and praying I don’t have a concussion. From across the field, through the mess of players and confetti, I can see number three looking over at me with kind, worried eyes that seem to want to say more than what he’s already said to me.

His eyes make me nearly forget that it’s my job to interview them. 

I guess I’ll ride my headache out and wait till the post game conference. 

–

From the time I got knocked down to the time when I stepped foot into the conference room, there were at least twenty-six different people who asked me if I was the one who was ‘tackled’ by Rafe Cameron after he caught the winning touchdown. After the third time, I started to feel a bit sheepish and honestly a bit embarrassed, wondering how long they’re going to string this out and ask me what it was like to be tackled by America’s most loved wide receiver. 

It was rough, I hit my head, it hurt- what else do they want from me? Do they want me to say I’m honored that he was so close to me, fangirl over his presence, that he made eye contact with me? Hell, he’s human and so am I. His reaction was purely a moment of humility and humanity shining through. 

But I totally did get butterflies.

But, to be honest, he is probably the most wholesome, mama’s boy you’ll ever see.

Dirty blonde, shaggy hair, blue shining eyes, overall toned to a T and he’s all meathead minus all of the misogyny and toxic masculinity. He’s always respectful in interviews, polite to women- it’s obvious he was raised well and anyone with a brain can tell that he’s wildly intelligent from his masters degree in Sports Communication. It’s impressive, his story. 

“So, you won the came, Cameron- how does it feel?” An interviewer calls out from the audience beside me, the happy smile on his face only feeding into the fact that he’s definitely a fan, and Rafe smiles handsomely, looking out across the audience with a simple, humble shrug. 

“Felt good taking the team to the playoffs. I couldn’t have done it without my quarterback, number 4, Greg Abernathy.” He reaches over to slap Greg on the back and I grin, scribbling down some words on my notepad, a small smile on my face as I listen to the boys commend each other in a bro-mance type love. They’re always very supportive of one another, having a type of relationship where you really don’t see one without hte other. They’re constantly training together, getting dinner together, having literal sleepovers at each other’s apartments (or so I’ve heard). They’re brothers, there’s no better description for the boys. “But I really have to give it up to the nice lady that I tackled, I feel horrible. I’d like to dedicate our win to her today since she obviously was a part of my excitement. You can put that in writing.” 

I’m sorry? 

Dedicated?

What?

All eyes turn to look at me and I feel my face drain of any color, every hair on my body sticking up as I suddenly feel so small in this room full of my very own coworkers and competitors. I can hear Rafe mutter a quiet ‘shit, she’s here?’ away from the mic and to Greg, who just chuckles and points in my direction, the direction that everyone happens to be looking in. I can see the looks in other journalists' and reporters' eyes, they want to talk to me, they want to shove microphones in my face but based on the ‘deer in headlights’ look I’m giving everyone, I think I’ll be safe from their interrogations. Rafe looks at me and his smile only grows, fingers reaching out to wrap around the mic to pull it closer to his lips as I anticipate what’s to come.

“Hi nice lady that I knocked over, are you okay?” His voice is ten times deeper than it was just moments ago and I can feel my brain melting just at the feeling of him looking back at me, matching my gaze as if he’s just as excited to be speaking to me one on one. 

Me. 

“I’m okay, just a bit banged up.” I call out, shakily shoving my pen and paper into my bag beside me to give him my undivided attention which, it’s not like he has to fight for it, I’m practically drooling simply because he’s gazing at me, giving me his complete and utter attention as hands raise around the room. The way he’s staring at me, eagerly hanging onto every word I say and I can see it, it’s not like he’s even trying to not seem completely enthralled with my every breath. 

“Man, you traumatized the poor girl.” Greg mutters into the mic and the room erupts in laughter and I bite back the laugh that wants to escape me but I don’t dare allow the giggles to leave me when Rafe is just staring me down with a soft look and a gentle smile, something completely opposite of his rowdy behavior and profanities on the field. But after a second, a look of realization passes across his expression and he turns to look at Greg with a worried expression before glancing back at me.

“I did not- you’re not traumatized, right?” He asks me and I laugh, waving him off as I reach up to knock at my own head. What a stupid move, Y/l/n, get it together.

“No, god no. It happens.” I chuckle, brushing off his concerns of injury and he visibly relaxes, head bobbing in a gentle nod as he laughs sheepishly, almost embarrassed that he seemed to care so much in front of a room of random people. “It could’ve been worse. Could’ve been the other team, they wouldn’t have helped me up.”

“So you’re saying his charisma and manners is what saved him from being brutalized all over the internet?” Greg interrupts before Rafe can say anything with a wide eyed, shocked, teasing look.

“For sure.” I grin proudly, already thinking about how excited I’ll be to call my dad after this conference and tell him all about how I got to talk to and compliment one of his favorite players in the NFL. He’s going to shit his pants. He’s been gushing about his stats for the two years that Rafe’s been on the team, every Sunday, blabbering about his stats, his goals, his story- hell I probably know more about him than anyone else in this room right now.

“Well, I appreciate that. My step mom will be happy to hear she did something right.” Rafe blushes warmly, the redness creeping down his neck and under the polo that he wears as another rumble of laughter rolls over the room like a wave and I keep it in the back of my mind to make it known in my article that he’s definitely some sort of mama’s boy through and through. No wonder he’s so respectful. 

“Happy to help.” I smile warmly, the room falling awkwardly silent again before the reporters buzz with questions like angry bees, eager to move on from Rafe and I ogling each other oddly from across the room. I can’t fight the butterflies fluttering in my stomach at the conversation we just had; there was no hint of annoyance, only eager questions and concern that I genuinely do appreciate. He didn’t need to follow up with me, he didn’t need to call me out in regards to their win, all that without even knowing I was here. 

But he did.

That matters for something, right?

Right?

“Hey, before we move on, I just wanna get your name- what’s your name? Are you one of our journalists?” Rafe asks, quickly grabbing hold of the mic firmly in his fist before Greg can pull it away from him and I nod firmly and proudly.

“My name’s Y/n Y/l/n and, yeah, I’ve worked for you guys for nearly eight months.” I swallow my nerves, now suddenly aware that he knows who I am and can talk to me and look for me in any crowd and just know who I am. Rafe Cameron knows who I am. 

It takes a second but I’m slowly realizing that he’s truly just a person and not anything to be afraid of. 

Right?

“Oh my god she’s the one who wrote that article about your tweets on twitter like two weeks ago.” Greg gasps and the room turns to me once again, confusion and shock written across all of their faces and, I’ve got to give it to him, I’m shocked that they even read articles about them. I assumed they just filter it out and try not to pay attention to the news headlines with their names in it but, now that I know that they read them, I’ll be more careful when throwing the word ‘handsome’ around in my pieces.

“Guilty as charged.” I breathe a sigh, reaching up to rub at the back of my neck awkwardly and a sort of tension falls over the room as everyone waits for a more in depth answer from me, their eyes (especially Rafe’s) practically begging for why I wrote the article. “I think it’s nice for young viewers, especially young boys, to see someone who’s a better influence than most of the sports players that are in the media.” A nod of agreement falls across the room and Rafe smiles wholesomely, looking at Greg with a happily proud expression written across his face, like he’s made it.

“So I’m a role model, that’s what you are saying?” He asks but there’s no cockiness or arrogance to his voice- no- just pure and utter pride and vulnerability at the thought of doing right by the football world and, in my opinion, he definitely has. 

All of the gala’s he’s attended, the hospitals he’s visited to talk to and to comfort young children, the way his smile lights up the locker room- even if they lose- the beaming smile he shows if they do win, and all of the money he’s donated to so many important organizations- my point, and the point of my article was, is that he’s what the NFL should be fronting, not the garbage-like, questionable, geriatric old men who need to retire.

“Exactly what I’m saying.” I smile firmly, not tearing my gaze away from his as he nods, leaning back in his chair and he finally appears content with our conversation because he finally allows Greg to take the mic back, but his eyes do not leave me as the room fills with questions once more.

“Hey, that was sweet and all, but can we talk about football now?”

[topazadine]

Ah I feel like I should reintroduce myself

Mostly because I kinda forgot what I said in my last one.

Look it's my dog Clark and my giant stuffed duck Ahiru-san (of Bizenverse fame, yes I bought the stupid fictional duck)

Anyway, basic points:

Cam

Ohioan (most important identity)

She/her pronouns

Fantasy author

Pit bull mom

SEO writer

Lesbian

Bipolar

But wait there's more

My hobbies other than writing, in order of how much I manage to do them

Staying up really late

Fighting with people on the internet

Walking my dogs (is that a hobby?)

Yelling at my plants to grow faster

Knitting

Horseback riding

Rock climbing (new! I am still bby)

Photography

Dollhouses

Kayaking

Traveling to underappreciated places

Activities I am fascinated by but do not understand whatsoever (if you have tips or do these things tell me pls)

Archery

Mounted archery

Caving

Ukulele

Embroidery

Spinning yarn

Things that I am deeply curious about

Caves

Superstitions

Human psychology

International conflict

Comparative mythology

Cryptids/ghost stories

Cults (but not joining them)

Bizarre deaths (especially stuff like cave diving deaths)

Stuff I have written that you should read

9 Years Yearning

The Lucretia Cycle

A lot of stuff on AO3

My sorta defunct blog (I moved back to Tumblr lmao)

Medium posts

Random facts about me that no one cares about

I have double eyelashes and a chest tattoo that says "Death to Rapists" in Latin Additionally, I have dyscalculia, which makes it almost impossible to learn languages or play a musical instrument because Brain Don't Work That Way. So it is annoying when people screech about monolinguals and say we're all lazy or whatever. I've tried multiple times to learn multiple languages and it simply does not work. Get off my back pls (random pet peeve) I studied abroad in Scotland on the prestigious Gilman scholarship and it radicalized me against England The main reason I did my Master's degree in International Relations is because they offered me a free year of tuition. This radicalized me against becoming a politician. As an aside, I did my Master's thesis on international human trafficking. Multiple people have told me I'm like a herding dog because I need to be doing something and get sad if I don't have a task My greatest fear is being electrocuted by stepping into a puddle after a rainstorm I get anxious going to the grocery store but have no problem with public speaking (strange) My favorite job I've ever done was an internship working with refugees (love) My dream vacation would be visiting the lava tube caves under Aokigahara, climbing through Buddha's Nostril in Nara, and then petting all the nice deer at Nara Deer Park I would also like to visit Mongolia and eat all their yummy snacks My most hated household chore is laundry Last year, when I went to Blood Prison, I cried because I didn't get scared and it's supposed to be one of the scariest haunted houses - I have a bizarre immunity to haunted houses because I can't suspend my disbelief Whenever I am in pain, I completely forget about the existence of NSAIDs and instead bitch about being uncomfortable until someone (usually my mom) reminds me that modern medicine is real and may in fact have solutions One time I stapled through my hand with a staple gun because I was trying to repurpose a cabinet drawer into a scratching post for my (now deceased) ferrets I am terrified of amusement park rides where you go up in the air but you don't have your feet on anything, like Windseeker at Cedar Point. My primal lizard brain craves the ground. But rock climbing is fine.

Yeah so that's it thanks

[mochalottie]

I wanted to make a larger post about ATSV because I've been listening to the soundtrack on loop for the past week, I'm going to see it again tomorrow, and I just made a very astute observation about the film and its music (and no, this is not a chance to show off my music film degree shut up--)

So, in the previous Spiderverse-film there was a lot of focus placed on the Original Soundtrack. I mean the songs used in the film (diegetically) and which were inspired by Miles' story. It included stuff like Sunflower and What's up Danger.

It meant that there was less emphasis on the film score, written by Daniel Pemberton. Apart from only Miles' theme throughout his journey, and his fight theme in the collidor 'Miles Morales Returns' there isn't much of a focus on the score itself. It falls to the wayside unless people actively go to listen to it. I mean, the cover art for it was actually really simple until recently. The big 'Spider-man' graphic wasn't there a few weeks ago.

Now, there's nothing bad about this at all, and in fact I haven't come here to criticise this, only to observe and possibly gush about how it's changed. Because it has changed; this time in ATSV there's less of a focus on the OST and more on the score. It's far more prevailent, to the point where each Spider person is getting their own theme.

That includes Gwen, Miguel, Miles, Pav, and Hobie. And each actually sounds really well characterised.

Gwen's, which is heard really prevalently during the battle with Vulture at the beginning is very drum heavy (obviously), but the main melody rises in quick succession in what could be a slide, but nearly couldn't because you hear each individual note. We know for a fact that Gwen is the only Spider person in her Earth, so it could almost be a nod to her rising to the challenge. Learning to defend her city whilst also always getting back up. Someone also pointed out that the drum solo heard at the beginning is used at the end, and is part of her theme. It also makes sense why she would form the Spider band, because the drums form the foundation so that the other instruments can build upon it.

Miguel's is first heard when he steps through the portal, and obviously it sounds ominous and menacing. But, I don't believe he's a bad guy. Someone said here that there's a difference between an antagonist and a villain. Miguel is the antagonist, which is reflected in his theme, because he is far different to the other Spiders. He's a vampire, for one, his world is set in 2099, and he was the first to figure out the canon events. The setting is why, I think, his theme is so techno in style. It also has the same rise and fall motif that is similar to Gwen's, a bit of word painting in a sense.

We then come to the main character Miles, who's theme we did experience before in the first film, but it's far more developed in this one. For one thing, it's longer in time, second, it's set during the chase scene with the Spot. We know from the last film that Pemberton is a master at meshing the diegetic music into his score (for example adding in some of Miles' theme into What's up Danger) and it's no different here. At one point, he changes the record scratches (which are literally him scratching the vinyl recording of the score) to the screeches the goose makes whilst Spot and Miles are duking it out in Foam Party. And obviously more rising scales, and epic orchestration but meshed with the record scratches and errant cowbells.

I think Pav and Hobie are my favourite new characters. Like Pav 'Just coconut oil, prayer, good genetics' 'chai tea? chai is tea! Do you want some coffee coffee with a side of cream cream?'. He makes me laugh every time and he's such a sunshine boy I wanna squish--

ahem. anyway.

Obviously, Pav's theme is very culturally accurate, but he hasn't been able to get away from the traditional record scratches and hints of techno like the other Spiders. It doesn't have the rise and fall motif (yet) but that could be because he hasn't been Spider-Man all that long (six months and he still got a badge) and he hasn't experienced any of the major sacrifices Spider-Man usually does. And we hope that he doesn't anyway, cause they need a bright and smiley Spidey that's not weighed down by the weight of his fecking responsibility.

What can I say about Hobie's theme. What can't I say about Hobie's theme. It is downright headbanging screaming at authority fuck the monarchy english punk!! I love it to bits, the way it reminds me of so many other great bands whilst also being really bloody original. Good drum runs like holy shit, good guitar riffs (you can bet their fingers might be bleeding by the end of it) and it just gives the vibes of late 70s. It just fits so so well.

All of it does, the whole score is amazing and I would absolutely adore to pick Daniel Pembertons' brain in finding out how he decided each Spider would sound. Like, the tiny details every creator put into this film is insane.

Each Spider even has their own unique thwipping sound how specific can you get!!!

Anyway, I'm done. For those of you who read through this, know I did it during half of my lunchbreak because this film is giving me brainrot.

<3

[realmadridfamily]

Luna Serrat, granddaughter of Joan Manuel Serrat, the new artist in the family.

"I would say I am very intuitive and emotional, but at the same time I am very rational and hardworking. It's a bit of a contradictory mix, but lately it has brought me good things."

This is how Luna Serrat, the eldest granddaughter of Joan Manuel Serrat, describes herself, and decided to change course and become the new artist in the family. She studied journalism and audiovisual communication. Also worked in music radio, but at some point she realized that it didn't make her happy. Now she is pursuing her dream of being an actress, while exploring her literary soul by composing songs.

Luna, why did you choose to study journalism? How did you realize that it wasn't for you? From a young age we hear : "studies are the path to a career", "the more opportunities you have, the better", "do internships", "do a master's degree", "go abroad", "learn languages", "become independent" etc. The idea of ​​not doing it terrifies you. And I did it all: two degrees, three years of internships, a master's degree, lived in three countries. And then what? Why I'm not happy? I started thinking about it and I noticed that the best moments, when I was the happiest, were spent in art, painting, singing, monologues in front of the mirror, playing the piano, writing … and I decided! I started studying interpretation and singing and it's definitely the best decision of my life. Now I don't live in another country, I don't have my own apartment, nor a fixed salary every month, but I am happy, I have fun, I go to bed and wake up smiling. I think that is what success is.

Because your dream is to be an actress and you are preparing for it … That's how it is. I've already done two years of studying at a drama school, in the meantime I'm learning singing and playing the piano and guitar.

Is it something you've always had inside you? Yes, absolutely. Sometimes I feel like I'm a little late. It would have saved me a lot of frustration if I had found this path as a child. Because I felt like I didn't fit in, but how could I? In my school, all I had was literature or science. Journalism (music journalism, which is what I majored in) was a way for me to get closer to the art world without actually doing it. It was a cowardly way to not stray too far from what made me happy.

Coming from a family of artists, do you think it was natural for you to follow that path? Natural? I don't know what would be natural. Of course, everyone should do what they want and make their own decisions. Luckily, they always gave me the opportunity to choose my future and taught me that life has many beginnings and I can start over as many times as I want. That's how it was.

Would you also like to try your luck in the world of music, as a singer? I've always said no, but that "no" came with a lot of uncertainty that I'm thankfully slowly getting over. So maybe yes. I don't know.

You often post literary quotes on your Instagram profile. Do you like writing? Yes! I'm passionate about it. It's therapeutic for me. I love writing songs.

Have you already had the opportunity to work on any projects as an actress? I hope you see something soon. I believe and hope so.

Theater, cinema, or television? Which acting world attracts your attention the most? The world of acting is so full of choices! Being able to make a living from this is more than enough for me.

Did your aunt Candela give you any advice on this? Yes, she helps me prepare for castings when I get stuck. I admire her a lot and her criticism matters a lot to me. She is a good coach.

Your family will have supported you in your decision … Absolutely, in this and all. They don't express much opinion either, they just accompany me.

When you say that you are the granddaughter of such a beloved artist as Joan Manuel Serrat … how do people react? This isn't something I always say. Not without reason, but I think it's better to be discreet in everything in life, and it's worked out well for me.

Are you sad that he decided to retire from the stage? Yes, a little. But like I said, just as my family has no opinion on my decisions, I have no opinion on theirs. Like them, I limit myself to accompanying them.

Which of his songs always accompanies you? Lucía, Mediterráneo, Paraules d’amor …

Has he encouraged you to follow in his footsteps and dedicate yourself to music? He encourages me to do anything that makes me happy. What could a grandfather want more than the happiness of his grandchildren?

Another of your traits is influence. In fact, you have almost sixty thousand followers… What do social media mean to you? Honestly, I am quite ungrateful to the social media and I should reconcile with them. I criticize them a lot because they are not a faithful reflection of real life, but it's true that they have given me a lot of good. They have given me friends, experiences, and most importantly, they have given me a job that allowed me to pay for my studies.

[dcyllom]

misc. tag game

thank you for tagging me @blood-mocha-latte :)

a band you don’t like that many others do:

definitely Ocean Alley (i don't like their music and their most recent scandal was...interesting. also a guy i used to like but who ended up being a racist LOVED them so i have viscerally negative reactions whenever their stuff plays)

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

i have a terrible memory, but the thing i remember best is taking our dog around the garden so he could get used to it when we first moved in, and he dug up 23 bones which the previous owners dog had buried around the place.

least favorite animal and why:

CRABS, I FUCKING HATE THEM

hot fandom take:

none, i just see bob stuff and i generally like it. although i do dislike the (not very common) infantilization of the actors or the version of the real life men they're portraying. it's just not something i personally agree with but it's not that big a deal

do you were any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i love rings and necklaces, but my favourite piece is my great-great grandmother's engagement ring which i inherited through my great grandmother. its gold and engraved with cool designs and a ruby and some diamonds.

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

the greatest showman. i detest that movie so much and im possibly a little dramatic about it.

three things you love about yourself:

i like my taste in wine

i really like my hair right now (just got it cut)

i like that i have such an active and extensive imagination

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

ireland :) my family has a lot of connections to it

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

jared leto <3

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

joining the tramping club at my uni this year (in nz we use the word tramping for hiking im not that strange i promise)

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

legolas/gimli, i just think their story is cooler if its them working through several millennia of racial hate and enmity to become best friends to the point where they want to spend the rest of their lives together. the romance angle just overshadows that for me with them.

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

okay this is quite niche but its funny to me, the girlfailure community on instagram. like those people who make semi-ironic accounts posting about unhinged esoteric books or ideas, astrology, societal/cultural expectations, and religious interpretation of thoughts. its a load of bullshit but its so fucking funny to read and its mostly sarcastic (i think) so i don't feel bad for enjoying it.

list three things you find beautiful about life:

my mother, especially learning more about her and how she interprets life. i've realised recently that we're extremely similar despite having wildly different upbringings. she's also the best person i know.

new zealand :). nz is very isolated with a diverse range of biomes, there is such a large amount of untouched land that you could drive from the southern alps through farmland and native bush to the coast in about 3 hours.

cooking while listening to music!! i love it.

any dreams for the future?

completing my law and arts degrees and going on to do a masters in the uk somewhere.

how are you really feeling today?

extremely tired lol, i've got a doctors appointment tomorrow because it's been going on for several weeks.

tagging (no pressure):

anyone who wants to do it! i forgot i had this tab open so i think everyone's done it. if not, feel free to say i tagged you or something :).

[longeyelashedtragedy]

get to know me tag from @heffer-wen this is a good one!

tagging: @perfectpiety @echthr0s @colorsofmyseason @kvaradonaa @protect-daniel-james @thundercrack @arsenalgbt @steeple-sinderby-wanderers @lamperry4ever (this is all optional of course!!!)

1. Do you make your bed?

I only properly make my bed when I change my sheets, but I can't stand to have the bed looking janky when i come home, so I wrestle with my thicc blanket until it's decently even and neat on the bed, and if the pillows have gone wild I'll straighten them out a little. if any of my over 9000 stuffed animals are on the floor I'll pick them up of course.

2. Favourite number?

24! my birthday, and a nice solid good number, can fit lots of other numbers into it. 17 has been an Important number for my bff and me, and I have a religion based fondness for 18...but 24 it is.

3. What's your job?

my job is very cool and specific and I love it, but it's not one I would ever want to mix with my online persona for various reasons. in fact I've always worked in an "industry" that I think should never mix with my nsfw ways on here. always happy to talk about it in private!

4. If you could go back to school would you?

oh hale to the FUCK no. I hate school. I haven't liked school since I graduated high school. my brain can't be made to think like that and do so much work to other people's specifications--and then there's sitting in class and having to listen to other people talk, I couldn't give less of a shit if I tried! I'm a voracious self directed learner--I want to learn something new like, every second--but this doesn't translate well into a school setting.

unfortunately--a job I think would be really cool to have, I'd have to get a master's and certification, and while I think I'd be great at the job, I'd be right shit at the kind of work the degree requires you to do to pass. (I could easily do the job with good mentoring and maybe like...one course, but that's how so many things are.) Maybe if I marry rich I'd go back! Frank lampard step the fuck up!

5. Can you parallel park?

I could do it just to pass my driver's test and have done it like. twice since. I'm terrible 😭 I have visual-spatial-perceptual whatever deficits and just can't do it. I also have a spot missing from my peripheral vision on my left side so parking on that side is even more confusing. my sister however is great at those things and yet she also can barely parallel park, you should see the two of us try to do it together, it's a full on yakety sax comedy. the WORST is here in the city, people stop on the street and give you unsolicited advice while you park and this gives me so much anxiety that I can't even remember what to do.

6. Do you think aliens are real?

not really? I suppose there's sentient life somewhere but is it likely to be humanoid? I'm terrified of space (I'm one of those would rather go to the bottom of the ocean than outer space freaks) so I try not to think about it

7. Can you drive a manual car?

what to heck,,,,,,,,,,,,of course I can't 🇺🇸 shamed by having to pay more to rent an automatic when I've driven in Europe

8. Guilty pleasure?

disregarding my dietary restrictions? I also have the bad habit of reading what scents my hot favs wear and then buying cheap samples. today one arrived that I forgot I'd ordered so now my wrists smell like chanel allure. I'm indifferent? it smells like Ladies' Perfume

what else...idk, I'm not too guilty about my pleasures really

9. Tattoos?

none--I have a couple of ideas, but have never been tempted to actually do it?

10. Favourite colour?

black and pink!

11. Favourite type of music?

I like things that are loud and repetitive and insistent. sometimes screechy. I like listening to other languages. my favorite instrument is the bagpipes (how do I say that in a grammatically correct way ffs) if that helps! will always go for: good rap/hip hop, 80s thrash metal, eastern european/balkan folk music, techno (the darker and more berghainy the better), other weird electronica, the beatles, most things that came out of the 80s

12. Do you like puzzles?

the kind with pieces? those are fun, I just don't have any room to spread one out. other kinds, like logic and shit, absolutely not, my brain doesn't work like that at all

13. Any phobias?

insects, and the main one: food contamination, but not the kind you're thinking--I definitely am more anxious than the average person about the food I eat being contaminated, but what the phobia actually is is more like...places where food shouldn't be being contaminated by bits of food...It's very specific and I've always had it but it's getting worse as I get older. like, imagine if you go into a restaurant and there's a couple of crumbs on the chair, or like, a bit of dirt on the underside of the waiter's tray. you'll just brush them off, right? or like, just not care about the bottom of a tray? I feel sick to my stomach and my heart is racing a bit just imagining this. what a privilege!

I'm also fucking terrified of being alone in elevators, but I'm not sure if that counts as a phobia? (I'm afraid of getting stuck in one by myself--as long as there's another person in there I don't care lol)

14. Favourite childhood sport?

swimming was my only one--I begged for lessons, started young, and was pretty good, did a swim team and everything. otherwise I am horrible at sports--I can't run (never could), and have no hand-eye coordination (did some occupational therapy at age 18 but it was Too Late), and again, those visual perceptual spatial issues! I wasn't terrible at floor hockey and volleyball in gym class I guess. footy was my worst 😭 in 8 years of gym I scored one goal--an own goal

15. Do you talk to yourself?

Not really.

16. What movies do you adore?

hmmm...I am not a huge movies person, but here's a list:

mulholland drive

mary poppins

the producers (mostel/wilder, 1967)

willy wonka & the chocolate factory (gene wilder version ONLY)

little miss sunshine

moulin rouge

cabaret

my cousin vinny

run lola run

y tu mamá también

the sound of music

chicago

kill bill vol. 1

cidade de deus

diarios de motocicleta

buena vista social club (not without its problematic side, but the musicians/music is so joyous)

the wedding singer

anklaget/the accused (weird danish movie that I don't think anyone i know has heard of?)

le dîner de cons

kamchatka

imagine me and you

ghostbusters 2016 (i will DIE on this hill)

brokeback mountain

team america: world police

rear window

amadeus

the crow

the incredibles

spaceballs

a shot in the dark

airplane!

romeo + juliet

school of rock

american psycho

uncut gems

rebecca

dial m for murder

17. Tea or coffee?

coffee! please. tea makes me feel a bit sick

18. First thing you wanted to be growing up?

I wanted to be an opera singer and a "lady mover" (we moved twice in the span of like, 2 and a half years when I was little)

[mono--chromatik]

hi mono its mae and i just saw your profile now and holy shit there’s lots of asks so i thought i’d ask some questions maybe

but if you do know, what are your favorite genres in music? im a huge music nerd and i NEED to know what kind of music you like,,,

get your reading glasses on you activated my trapcard (being really autistic about music)

OKAY OKAY so generally speaking there's no specific genre I tend to stick by to some religious degree. More often than not any generated playlist from wherever I'm listening from is destined to be the least consistent thing imaginable.

To generally answer this question would be trickier than just tossing a bunch of random songs at people but I'm gonna do my damn best to keep it relevant. I am gonna add some examples so I'm putting this under a read-more to keep from making the post needlessly long for passer-byers. (Some genres may not be 100 accurate, in the examples, but they're along the same lines I think).

EDM

I don't know exactly how much this description gets the point across but like, this music sounds like industrial iron, steel and bullets, and in the good way! Can't pinpoint exactly when or why but the general sound of the genre is very nostalgic to me (and in an almost comical way every artist that I've seen fall under that genre or orbit around it happens to have an incredibly deep voice 9 times out of 10. Absolutely not a complaint. Fucking gorgeous sound. Would highly recommend listening to at night outside in a lit-up city area.

NINTENDOCORE

I proceeded to make this genre into my entire personality. Surprise surprise, a lot of the music uses 8-bit sound effects to hell and back. And y'know what? Nothing scratched the itch in my brain better than that ever did.

Tumblr only allows 10 audios per post! i just learned. I'm gonna list a bunch of MISC stuff because i'm running out of steam to type.

Prophecy of the Dragon - The Voidz

Losing Touch - Circus of Dead Squirrels

Meaningless - The Nighty Nite

I Don't Wanna Be Me - Type-O-Negative

Loose Cannon - Puzzle

So Pretty - Kid Dakota

Мрак - DenDerty

Ghost - Gouge Away

Blood and Rockets - The Claypool Lennon Delirium

Guts - MATH The Band

The Air Conditioned Nightmare - Mr Bungle

A.M 180 - Grandaddy

Happy listening ! 👍

[megaman-r]

Hello! Welcome to my rather extended effort to make a classic-style-ish Mega Man game. My name's Nevi, my main is @afniel, and I'm here to be everyone's problem. I used to be tracking progress for this on Twitter, but we all know how that went, so now I'm here instead.

First, the top 3 questions I tend to get:

What is this?

A fan game, created in the NES style. Well. Eventually it will be. Making a game is not a quick or easy task.

What's it about?

When I was young, I always thought it was boring of Capcom to not give Roll her own game. I got older and I still think that, but I've also thought other things along the way, like, why do these games always raise such alarming existential questions and then completely forget they happened? How long would it take to learn a functional amount of music theory? Is it Metool, Mettaur, or Metall? Whatever they're called, why aren't there a lot more of these little guys in the games?

Basically, I'm giving Roll the game I always thought she deserved.

Can I play it?

Currently, there's really nothing to play. I've got the basic engine functioning quite well and a good chunk of the visual assets finished to a working degree, but refining everything, getting the gameplay as tight as it needs to be, and making sure nobody's AI breaks or sucks is a pretty big job.

That all said, my first real roadmap goal is to have a single-stage playable demo. While I don't have any notion of a release date for that, I am working steadily towards it, so please stay tuned!

The rest of the FAQ is long and maybe less interesting, so I'll stash it under a cut to save you a little scrolling.

The Game Itself

Is it going to be girly?

Probably not as girly as you're imagining, if you're asking that. After all, there's still explosions, boss fights, insta-death spikes, a ton of weapons to choose from, and quite a lot of shooting. Just because the main character is in a dress won't change the core feel of the game, nor will it be easier than other MM games.

Also, a thing being girly isn't bad anyway. It's just a style.

What makes this different from any other MM game/fangame?

Fair question! I'm going to be a little secretive about it though and just say 'choice.' It's a thing that the MM series isn't known for giving players, outside of what order you want to explode the robot masters. I think it could be more interesting than that.

That said, the mainline classic MM games don't have a whole lot to distinguish them from each other, and they're still fun and each one of them is someone's all-time fav game, so even if it just ends up being Another MM Game, that's still not a bad crowd to be in.

Are we fighting Dr. Wily? What's the plot?

:)

Some of that will come with the eventual demo release. The rest will be on full release. I don't want to spoil it up front, you know?

You will get to see some familiar faces for sure, I'll say that much.

Will this game be accessible?

I want it to be! I think games in general have a lot of work to do to become more accessible to disabled gamers, and as a disabled gamer, I want to try and do my due diligence in that.

It is playable on both keyboard (not comfortable) and controller (a lot more comfortable), and while the controls are fairly simple, there is already a fully-functional option to switch between classic MM style down+jump to slide, and MMX style dedicated single button slide.

Remapping buttons is somewhat beyond the scope of the engine I'm using, which is unfortunate, and all the more reason for me to learn something more flexible like Godot.

I'm trying to choose palettes for things that should be eyestrain-friendly. Flashing will be kept to a minimum in the default game mode, and I plan on having a sensory-friendly mode with no flashing whatsoever and certain other effects lessened/changed/removed. Of course, I can't guarantee that certain patterns won't affect sensitive people regardless, but I'm going to give it a good try.

Depending on how easy the game engine makes sensory-friendly mode, it may end up being a separate download version, but I hope not, that's just not as good.

Alternate difficulty modes are also something I want to do! I just haven't looked at implementation yet, but it should be pretty easy.

Game Development Stuff

What are you using to make MMR?

The engine itself is in Pixel Game Maker, which is kind of an underdog DIY game engine and if I'd really been thinking I'd probably have started it in Godot or something, but I'm already here and honestly, I like how it works, so I'm keeping it. The assets are entirely made in Aseprite, and the music is entirely Famitracker, with a little use of Audacity to make sure tracks loop properly and to get things into the right format.

Very few visual assets are taken from the games directly, mostly some enemies and most of the sound effects (because those are not something I want to try to recreate using only Famitracker—I only have so many hours in a day).

How NES-like are we talking, here?

I'm aiming for NES-like in the way that Sonic Mania aimed for Genesis/Master System-like: the style matches, the limitations are mostly observed, but certain limitations are disregarded when it would be extremely awesome to do so.

Some examples: I'm very fastidious about color palettes per tile and per minor enemy sprite; I'm less fastidious about color palettes onscreen at a time and color palettes per boss sprite. I'm not trying to replicate the sprites-per-scanline flicker. Number of frames per animation isn't something I'm really considering as long as it looks visually appropriate. I'm sticking with 2A03 music, except for where I mean business, and then I may whip out the VRC6 channels instead.

So no, this wouldn't run verbatim on an actual NES, even if you recoded it in 6503 Assembly, but you would be able to get quite close.

How did you learn to make pixel art?

Well, when I was a wee little neurodivergent child, one of my favorite hobbies was making tiles and characters in MS Paint and building big collages out of them. I made a lot of beehives, for some reason...

Then I became a medium-sized neurodivergent teenager, got really into RPG Maker 2000, and the sprites and tiles were not to my liking, so I started editing them and eventually making my own from scratch.

I'm now a fairly normal-sized neurodivergent adult, and making pictures out of little dots is still a lot of fun, especially with a harshly constrained palette. Doing NES-like graphics just kind of comes naturally after all that.

How did you learn to make music?

Honestly? I just began throwing myself at it. My first attempts were unabashedly bad. When things didn't make sense and I couldn't get them to sound right, which was all the time, I looked them up. Starting with general chord theory was what really made it begin to click. The first thing I composed and kept was the Lagoon Stage music, and not coincidentally it's been through the most refactors as well. Coming from an art background where I'm very used to the Ugly Painting Stage of any given piece has definitely helped with patience, too. The important thing is to just keep beating your head against it. It's frustrating, but you only learn to make music by making music.

Every track on the OST represents about two days of feverishly slamming notes together for four-six hours a day, preceded by one-four whole months of tapping and humming random things until one of them ignites something in my brain that goes, "Oh, I know how the rest of this should go!"

How did you learn to code?

Well, honestly, I didn't; PGM is a visual scripting engine, so everything pretty much looks like flowcharts, and the number of functions is kind of constrained. Every object in the game is a state machine, so that's pretty much the paradigm I understand. I could not code my way out of a paper sack in any actual language.

That being said, I do understand the core concepts of what programming is, and most of that I learned by watching Retro Game Mechanics Explained on YouTube until I suddenly understood what 6502 Assembly was all about and everything else just kind of made sense. I don't know either! It's a little weird. But it did work, so I can't complain.

Is this related to [Other Fan Project]?

Nope, it's not part of or related to any other fanworks. I'm a solo dev working on just this one project right now. (However, if you're making a classic or MMX-style game and need pixel art assets, I'm open to talk about that! Please note though that I do not work for free.)

Your robot master has the same name/concept as [Other Fan Character].

Sorry if that's the case! There are so many really stellar MM fan characters out there that a little name/concept-sharing is basically unavoidable. No infringement is intended, no profit will be made from this game, and I'm uninvolved enough with the general fandom at large that I can pretty confidently say I didn't even know about your character. Take it as a case of Great Minds Think Alike, if it happens.

Do you have anywhere else I can keep up with this?

I sure do! I've got a Discord specifically for it where I toss a lot of WIP sprites and such, and that's where eventual playtesting will happen too if you're into that sort of thing, and a Trello that I don't always remember to update, but it exists at least!

Mega Man R Secret Gamedev Clubhouse Discord

Trello Roadmap (when I remember to update it...)

What's the pixel art in your banner?

That was just me greebling at random for practice and funsies. The full image isn't used anywhere as-is, but I did end up using some parts of it in the tiles.

[not-poignant]

hello pia! feel free to delete this if it’s too personal but i’d love to hear about your degree, what you learned from it, and how you think it has informed the way you write (whether it has or hasn’t!). i’m studying for a different degree, still humanities, but i’d love to hear about your degree since i.. well when i was in hs i didn’t know that it was an option. also if the above is too personal, please recommend some texts to learn abt mass comms .. thank you!

Hi anon,

I did my degree/s (Media Studies + Mass Communications majors, Scriptwriting (Drama, Film, Short Film) + Creative Writing (Poetry, Short Story, Literature, SFF) minors) back in 1999, so honestly, some of the information I learned then is out of date, and you're definitely better off looking at a university curriculum now for decent texts on mass communications. Even the Masters I did over 10 years ago, lol. I am an old.

You have to understand when I was in university for Mass Comm, the internet as we know it, and social media, literally didn't exist. And though 'Rupert Murdoch still owns a ton of Telcos' is still true, things like Wikipedia didn't exist, lol. The 'please don't use Wikipedia as a reference' didn't exist as a sentence, because Wikipedia just...didn't exist.

The media landscape has changed.

I've kept up with aspects of media studies that interest me (representations of mental health in the media, for example), but since the university texts still often cost hundreds of dollars, I can't get a ton of them every year and read them. You might be surprised what you can find in university bookstores in the clearance section, because books aren't in the curriculum anymore but are still likely to be 15 years more up-to-date than what I was taught with, lol.

I don't really know how to answer your specific questions though. There were a lot of different units within the degree, so I learned a lot from it, I don't know how to condense that down.

Probably the most important things I took with me are that media (fiction) does not have a 1:1 correlation with reality, and that we are not all mindless vessels with an inability to negotiate the media we watch (otherwise we'd buy everything in advertising ever), people who believe 'high art' is better than 'low art' are elitist ignorant dicks who don't actually understand art at all (if you've ever disparaged reality TV or soap operas, you are in this category, with soap operas giving you a side order of heavy misogyny to boot), media literacy is crucial and needs to be taught and prioritised on par (if not higher than) english fiction literacy (kids engage in more media than books, they should have more media literacy than book literacy), and that it's always important to know the politics and values of the people who own the news media you're watching (and that almost all news media is homogenised).

The biggest gift it gave me was to entirely remove my shame over watching or consuming any kind of media. I don't know what a guilty pleasure is, because guilty pleasures are a sign that you have some more work to do on unpacking your issues (often internalised misogyny believe it or not) over watching certain shows or listening to certain music etc. and finding joy in it. I feel NO shame in anything I watch, rewatch, love, get the most out of. Anon, I have done assignments on Big Brother and gotten high distinction/s for it. I've watched Misfits and gotten high distinction/s for it. I'm in the Golden Key Society because I watched a lot of Studio Ghibli and a lot of romcoms. Media studies does what creative writing doesn't - unpacks all your shame over enjoying different genres (sadly creative writing teaches a lot of that shame and can genre shame as well, it's extraordinarily outdated in many curriculums in that way).

It is so liberating to just watch whatever the fuck I want, and listen to whatever music I want, and not give a shit whoever knows I watch or listen to it. Like, I just... literally who cares. It's all art. It all means something and then I get to choose its further meaning. I get to decide what media I won't consume and why (usually around the politics and actions of the creator/s or actor/s, JKR can go to hell, or just not liking the show - I also feel no shame not liking things that everyone else likes), but it's never a choice based in shame or guilt. It is...truly, such a wonderful feeling when you realise there's literally no reason on this earth to have a guilty pleasure if you can think for yourself and understand why you've been conditioned to feel 'ashamed' for watching certain genres (surprise, it's usually racism or xenophobia or misogyny!)

Like, I did a unit called Psychology, Psychoanalysis and Cinema (Psych Psych and Cinema as we called it), which was a tremendous amount of fun and let me know that psychology is literally in everything but that representations of psychology in literally everything tends to be not great lmao. I did a unit called Postmodern Wetlands which literally analysed the relationship between swamp representation in mass media (particular horror films as relating to the monstrous feminine) and what that means for environmentalism which changed my entire relationship to my body and the environment permanently. Idk how to describe that unit to anyone who hasn't taken it, but it was literally life-changing, lol.

It definitely influences my writing style, partly because I write serials based off of like... scriptwriting techniques I was taught for television drama back then. In terms of how media studies influences it - well mass communications probably not so much, and then media studies a whole lot, lol. (Mass Comm =/= Media Studies. One focuses on telecommunications/telcos/ISP providers/internet cables even, politics and the vehicles with which we spread mass media, the second one focuses more on the analysis of the products/works/pieces of art that end up on that mass media. One is a lot more discussion of 'which television stations do China / Fairfax / Murdoch own' or 'how are those internet sea cables going and how's the terrorism around that?' vs. 'what messages does the TV on each of these stations send').

But media studies influences my writing a ton, but I couldn't tell you how anon, aside from those two units I specifically mention above lol. Oh and the fact that we had to take a mandatory philosophy unit called Critical Thinking, which should be mandatory for every degree. That definitely taught me how to think critically, which...a lot of people don't know how to do! I probably couldn't even tell you the rest of how it influenced me, if you asked me 2 decades ago when I was actively studying it. I'd like to think it just makes me a more nuanced writer, and absolutely Teflon when it comes to fanpol / antis / anti-shippers, lol. But who knows!

I still think looking at current university curriculums for Media Studies (also known as Media Analysis in some other countries) is probably the best place to find recs. But you can also check out the books on media in my Goodreads list and go by star rating.

[jessssssssssssssssssica97]

2008

It's nothing revolutionary, but I think when I was a kid I felt a lot more free to explore the things that I was naturally drawn to. But for some reason all throughout my life I always pushed everything off to a time of "later." Like when my favorite bands were playing a show in my town I would forego it thinking they'd come back eventually, I would never dye my hair green because it never made sense to. Now that I'm an adult, a lot of those bands broke up (and we're never getting a Title Fight reunion) and I work in finance so I can't dye my hair green.

This is all just coming to mind because I found the login information to my DeviantArt account from literally 15 years ago, and there is one writing sample on there that was actually pretty poetic and not that bad for a 12-year-old, albeit it completely fantasizing about turning into a vampire. I still have a deep obsession with vampires even though I don't really talk about it. I mean, actually, what is there to talk about. I do deep down wish for every Halloween that I could dress as a vampire. I did one time in college, and I actually have never felt better about myself. Maybe I should research vampires in depth more. Maybe I should write another vampire fanfic.

On that point, this is sort of where I'm coming from with writing this. Since becoming sober (today is day #422), I feel like I'm getting to know myself all over again. Part of the reason why I have to be sober is that I am the type of person who wants to do everything to an extreme, to a fault - if I can't do something the most then there's no point in starting in the first place. With drinking, it was that if I couldn't black out then why would I start drinking in the first place? Alcoholics rise up. Anyway, that characteristic about myself (in AA we call some of these things "character defects" which I find unfair at times) is giving me this attitude about rediscovering my interests that can be entirely unhelpful. I love painting, and I'm decent at it, but if the painting can't be exactly how it is in my brain then I have trouble starting it. I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar and start a band, but if I can't write music that sounds exactly like the music I want to make then why should I take a class? It's very difficult to work around this mindset.

I don't think that I am unique in this, at all. I think that a lot of people have this problem. Artists say things all the time like the best thing you can do is to just get something on a page. That's why challenges like Inktober exist, just to give people prompts to draw more often. I know that you can't ever get better if you never even try. I really don't want to have an existence where I have a laundry list of things I've always wanted to do, but was too afraid to do them. I know 27 is relatively young, but it simultaneously feels too old to start with anything that I want to. I know that that's not true, but that's just how I feel. I feel like I have lived a lot of my life so far fueled by fear - fear of being broke, fear of looking like a lazy addict. Throughout my alcoholism I got a master's degree and got myself a job in investment banking. I think if I truly loved myself I wouldn't have done that.

I still have a lot of fear, but I want to fuel myself from it in a different way. I'm afraid to die without ever having lived in another country. I'm afraid to never have worked through the misogynistic competition trauma that I got from my mother. I'm afraid that I'll never perform on a stage again and feel the warmth of lime light. I'm afraid that I will lose my ability to communicate with people in French, and I'm afraid that my brain will become too weak to improve my Russian. I'm afraid to stand up to my parents and tell them that I have tattoos - they're big tattoos, I can't hide them for much longer. These are all things that are on my "bucket list" that come to mind when people say to "grab life by the balls" or whatever, but every single one of them takes work and that is so scary. My throat has that quivery feeling right now and my eyes are getting wet thinking about my life having to muster up the courage to do all this, but I'm most afraid of never finding the courage. I am a very strong person. Very strong. I can do it.

I remade a Tumblr account to start a blog just so I can write these things out into the ether. I do have a journal, but there is something about writing a blog that brings me a deep comfort. It's because I am a child of the internet. I was raised on Tumblr, I firmly believe that it shaped me into the person I am today. I already mentioned Title Fight, green hair, and vampires, didn't I...?

I also have other things I want to write about, more serious things with a lot more structure. I am thinking of starting a SubStack just to get some of my ideas out there. I saw on Tik Tok the other day that a woman was "launching" a SubStack. That is so serious. Do I have to officially launch a SubStack? Should I draft my essay and have it peer reviewed first?

This is the first of my rambles. I speak like this in person, too. Feels good!

[eddiemunsonsmiddlefingers]

Even still. A whole book in a few days? Brutal. I forgot how much of academia is almost bullshit. I'm enjoying myself in university, I really am. There's just certain aspects. You know? Like for me, I forgot just how it really feels to write papers. It's a lot of reiteration and it almost feels empty. I could have gotten my point across without all the fluff but that's just how higher education is.

Eh, we are. It's just a wheel. As they say, history repeats itself. Still, I work with so many young kids it's hard to not feel a little old. I get asked what it was like when fire was discovered or the wheel invented. Oh, and all of my music regardless of what it is, "Is this The Beatles?" Meanwhile it's The Doors or The Strokes. Yup. But, no, I know I'm not truly old. 31 isn't.

Is it more of a fork in the road situation? Like both would fulfil you? I know personally, if I could just find the right inner motivation, being an author is the true dream. Can't want to work in a place filled with books and not want to try to write one. Degrees are good for a fallback, however, I doubt you'll need a fallback. Your writing is magnificent. I have no doubt you'll do well.

The music thing reminds me of how many (really) young people I've seen walking around wearing Sublime or Nirvana t-shirts and when I'm like "hey, I like that band, too" they've said some variant of "oh my god, it's a band?" and really, actually meant it. Woe.

For the career thing... (below the cut because longish)

An academic career would give me financial stability and a platform for my political interests and research. However, achieving any measure of success would require producing a shit ton of those "empty" (what a great way of putting it, it's so real and true) papers initially...and then when I finally get to write real stuff it'll be held to ridiculously high standards and peer reviewed by people who will absolutely judge my theses by my assigned sex and my queerness rather than the merit of my research. And I'd have to produce them between teaching classes—and my funding would depend on grants that I would have to ask for, and I'm really bad at doing that shit. Like...really bad.

I'm not sure how much space I would have left to write the stories in my head in that situation. My guess is "not much" and that's a problem because if I learned anything this summer, it's that I don't just want to write stories, I need to. It's in my bones.

I am/was a visual artist for a long time, but I always felt like a poser. I was never quite comfortable in artist circles and never felt secure expressing my opinions or offering advice. My work was good but it wasn't great and I felt little impetus to improve. Plus, when push comes to shove I always turn to words, not my paintbrush, to express myself.

My relationship with writing contains none of that insecurity. I tell people about what I'm doing because I'm genuinely proud of it—even my fanfiction. I offer support to new writers with confidence, and ask questions or express opinions without fear of judgment because I know that my skill and interest are valid no matter what. I am constantly coming up with new ideas, tinkering with old ones, or pulling apart existing stories to see how/why they tick. I own (and have read the vast majority of) half a large bookcase of books about writing: plot building, character construction, narrative pacing, subtext, how to use language to elicit emotion, how and when to break grammar rules, and reference books for specific subjects common to the type of books I want to write. It's all intensely fascinating to me. I want to know everything. I want to be good and I'm willing to put in the work to make it happen.

So yeah. If you'd asked me what I want to do this time last year (or even up to June of this year) my response would have been "I'm going to be a professor, hell yes, absolutely." After this summer and the clarity that came with it, I'm not so sure...but I want to get my master's anyway. If nothing else, I'll be able to say I actually completed something important for once in my life AND I will have a gold mine of political and sociological knowledge to lean on for my world building.

/ramble

[twstheadcanons]

lore? world-building? something i've always wondered about every world involving a magical school is, do they have normal classes? like, do they have math and lit or does all that just get thrown out the window???

this got long... under cut lol

In NRC specifically, it’s said they have a mathematics course, but any details surrounding it are unspecified.  There’s no mention of a dedicated literary course, however we know the history course absolutely involves a lot of reading (and when it comes to history, being able to recognise context. bias, and utilising outside resources are vital).    There’s also mentioned courses like music (we see Azul takes this in ep3), art (Rook’s best subject), and Master Chef - all presumably electives for students to take.  So it’s not like NRC neglects typical studies, they’re just not the main reason students attend, they’re there as supplementary courses, either optional or perhaps vital so that students don’t fall behind on practical education.

That aside, there’s courses like alchemy, potion-making, magical analysis, biology, astrology, and general magic.

Alchemy and all the science classes in NRC will, to pretty extensive degrees, require advanced knowledge both in science and mathematics.  Alchemy and potion-making require exact recipes and research to make them work, which falls back onto maths.  

The thing about NRC specifically - it’s a glorified magic boys’ boarding school.  Any education prior to that, as mentioned in-game, are generally ‘normal’ and less centric on magic, meaning they address regular academic subjects.  So, just like how there’s an emphasis that keeping physically fit and strong have an affect on one’s magic, it goes without saying that a strong grasp on previous foundations for sciences like alchemy and potion-making have basic science and maths as a pre-requisite.  Meaning in NRC, maths and science takes a more advanced, specialised turn.  

So it isn’t the typical maths, but since there’s a mathematics course mentioned, it isn’t completely absent from the curriculum.  I think it’s safe to say that the mathematics class mentioned acts as both a way to maintain and keep up with non-magical studies so that you’re not just a fancy magician without basic knowledge.  That’d be impractical and a disservice to the students, especially for such a prestigious curriculum. 

There’s nothing mentioned about literature, but considering the influence magic would have in TWST’s universe, I think it’s safe to at least headcanon that there’s some type of literary course, albeit not entirely typical in nature, to, again, make sure students don’t fall behind on basic education.  Not to mention magic woven into historical fiction and such in the universe would be important for their own reasons.  

Also, there is an animal languages course.  Anyone who’s taken a different language for academics knows you inevitably read, listen, and watch material in that specific language.  While I don’t think it’s possible to write animal languages (meow? mrrow?  Mrrp meow mrp.  Mew!), there is the potential of them not only listening to animals talking themselves, but humans using their knowledge of recite stuff in animal languages for people learning or their own spare time.  

The world is a strange place.  Someone out there is extremely dedicated to reciting normal books into animal languages for very niche audiences down for that.

So things like lit and maths, I don’t think NRC would completely neglect.  They aren’t the reason students attend NRC, but it wouldn’t be practical to just neglect them either.

[roboticchibitan]

(I"m on hiatus but I've been thinking about this for a while. Will check the notes on this post only til I'm back.)

I'm going to talk about why I love bees so much. It's gonna be heavy, but hopeful. TWs for suicidal ideation, psychosis (in detail), abusive home (mention), uh, I don't know what else to put TWs for but my life SUCKED there for a while. This post will be long. If you've ever wondered what psychosis is like, at least for me, please read this.

Bees. Bees helped me become hopeful for the future in a powerful way. I have so much hope. This story has a happy ending.

I spent basically all of my time suicidal to some degree from 11 yrs old to 23 years old. I cried oh my eighteen birthday because I never thought I would live that long and I didn't know what to do now that I had to have a future.

But I made my plans. I was gonna learn Japanese, and do the JET program, live in Japan, perhaps get a masters at a Japanese university after my contract with JET was up. I was gonna run as far away from my abusive home as I could get and I was gonna stay there and be happy!

My first year of college as an adult (I did two years of college in high school), the voices started.

I had always been called by my middle name (Darlene, which is no longer any part of my name, I changed it legally in May) but when I went away I wanted a new start. And going by my first name meant I didn't have to explain to every professor and school professional to call me by a different name.

But soooooooometimes. I'd hear whispers, calling me. "Darlene, Darlene Darlene." No one called me that there. At first I attributed them to mishearing something someone said around me.

But my brain was also getting weirder. I started having the intense feeling that I had seen the faces of people around me before but their faces were... Hmm a mixture of "wrong" and "different" I think is how I would explain it. As I searched for the basis of this feeling, I reached true paranoia.

My brain decided that the reason I was seeing people I had seen before, was because my entire life was a social experiment. And when I moved from Washington to Massachusetts, they had to reuse actors for the experiment so they had given the actors facial surgery to keep up this facade.

I often wondered if my parents were really my parents. Maybe outside the experiment, no one had parents. Maybe I could escape the experiment if I just ran. Fast enough and far enough to find out the truth.

My breaking point was the visual hallucinations. When I realized part of my paranoia was running away, I came back to Washington and started attending Portland State University. I came back so if I did run away, my family had a better chance of finding me than if I disappeared 3,000 mile away. But I hadn't accepted that anything was wrong. Until. The clown.

It was just a flash, really. I saw a clown in a corner and thought "that's weird" and then realized there was no clown. So I immediately went to the campus clinic and got in with someone who could prescribe me meds. The meds didn't work very well. Not the first ones, anyway.

My life became living hell for several years. I had auditory, tactile, and visual hallucinations on a regular basis and I fought every day against the voices saying "come with us, come with us. Run away. Don't you want the truth?" I don't remember a lot of that time, nor do I remember much from before I developed psychosis. I call it "the psychosis wall." Because psychosis messes with your memory. (Depression and anxiety do too, not trying to take away from people with those experiences).

I am now legally disabled due to psychosis. I absolutely cannot work. The stress of having a job sends me into episodes. I'm on much better meds now, no paranoia anymore, my hallucinations are, usually, much less distressing. I just got used to it I guess. Like "Oh the air conditioner is talking to me and the voice of the air conditioner is the number 147 speaking to me. Okay, time to put some music on and maybe turn off the AC." I get synesthesia with my hallucinations on rare occasions. One time I herd voices that were orange. No I can't explain. They just were.

Okay, that's all great, but you're here about bees, right? I'm getting to that. I've always felt like psychosis robbed me of my dreams. I try to get over this feeling but mainly it just is quieter sometimes. Disability rights in Japan are a MESS. It's not safe for me there even if I could handle the stress of college to finish my degree (the JET program requires a bachelor's). And I mourn that to this day. I was in third year of studying Japanese when I flunked out cuz I was too paranoid and hallucinating too often to drive anymore. So I just stopped going to school.

For the last 7 years, it has been extremely difficult to want, truly want, something. Because I feel like my dreams were stolen once and it almost destroyed me. How could I ever truly hope for something that made me happy again? Would I even survive if I had a new set of dreams ripped from me?

This is where the bees come in. I know, finally. One of the biggest things that changed my life... No it is absolutely the biggest thing that changed my life, was when I decided "I can't really feel joy about big things, but I still am happy when I drink out of my favorite teacup, or when my cat does something cute. I can feel small joys, so I'm going to squeeze every last drop of joy out of the little things, and focus on it and celebrate it" for me this looked like a journal where I wrote things like "5 things that made me happy today" and "one thing I am looking forward to" I had a list of prompts.

To this day, if I'm having a depression day, or life just sucks in general, I just start writing a list of things that bring me joy. It can be on a grocery receipt; it doesn't matter. What mattered to me was keeping those small joys in my mind

Bees were one of those small joys. I'd see pictures of bumblebees covered in pollen and be like "cute, look at that little lady." I've been reblogging photos of bees for a long time. And then I started learning more about them. And then I decided I wanted some.

This was incredibly scary for me. Because bees are a responsibility. And I wanted bees so bad. I hadn't truly wanted anything like this for as long as my impaired memory stretches back. But the idea was so exciting!

You can't just get bees though. You have to buy or build a hive. You have to buy the bees. You have to buy the equipment. I attended classes with my local beekeeper's association and the old lady who was teaching the class said "yeah it's about a $1,200 investment starting off."

I'm disabled, remember? I can't ever have more than $2000 in the bank. So for the first time since I was 19, I started planning. I was planning for the future! For a dream I had! I know the local laws about how far bees have to be kept from the property line, I know who the president of the local beekeeper's association is. It was amazing. I felt... Alive. Excited. Happy. And then I realized, what I was feeling was hope.

And thus, bees taught me to hope in a way I hadn't been able to before. Bees are important to me because for me, they are hope. And I have so much hope for the future now. Breaking past that barrier allowed me to feel hope in a new way. A way I had forgotten, behind the psychosis wall.

I am so fucking happy when I see a bee. Or see a picture of a bee. Or someone gives me the vaguest hint that they'll listen to me talk about bees because I absolutely will infodump about bees at the slightest excuse. Or someone sends me bee themed things. Or bee memes.

For 25 years, I couldn't think about the future. I couldn't imagine growing old. I couldn't image life past the next few years. I was afraid to. But now I wonder things like "will I still dye my hair purple when I'm old and my hair is white?" Or "will my current relationship last into my 40s?"

Those are things that I fundamentally couldn't think before. I just couldn't go there. And now I can. And it's because I worked hard on those small joys and then, after one cute bee picture too many, I figured out how to hope again. I know I'm the one who put in the work. I know I probably wouldn't be here without the meds I'm currently on. I know that I worked hard to be here. But bees will always be special to me because they were the first thing I was hopeful about after a lot of years of misery.

I'm so fucking happy you guys.

[revchainsaw]

Bumblebee (2018)

Good Evening worshippers, and welcome! Today the Cult of Cult goes a little more mainstream than usual. It's been a while since i've tackled a big Hollywood superhero film. But I do believe that these sorts of films will be remembered fondly my small groups of people in the future, especially the smaller films that are being overshadowed by the big bad MCU, films like 2018s Bumblebee.

The Messsage

Bumblebee was originally released as a prequel to the Transformers franchise that had started all the way back in 2007. However, reboots had really hit the market as a way to breath new life into struggling franchises, and the Transformers series had already gone to just about every absurd extreme you could imagine. No changes were made to the movie as it was released, but with it's more childish and heartfelt tone, and a new aesthetic that was softer, smoother, and all around just generally more pleasing to the eye, I think it was a wise choice to rebrand Bumblebee as a new beginning.

Our story is of two friends from two very different worlds and how they came together. Our first character is Bumblebee, then known as B- number sign/it doesn't really matter. Not yet Bumblebee is a soldier set with securing a safe location for the Autobots to regroup and make their home as they suffer a pretty serious defeat on cybertron at the hands of the tyrannical Decepticons. Optimus Prime, here again voiced by Peter Cullen and looking so much more like himself, assigns this task to Bumblebee promising him that they will meet him there when the time comes. Then Optimus fucks off for the rest of the run time making way for our little hero.

Bumblebee lands on Earth and is immediately set upon by John Cena and his military goon squad. It probably would have been wise for Bumblebee to avoid John Cena but in his defense, he couldn't see him. Hardy har har. In his attempt to flee his voice box is damaged, he seeks sanctuary by taking the form of a run down little VW bug, and suffers from amnesia.

Then we have Charlie. Charlie is not like other girls. She likes cars, all the retro music, which wasn't retro when the movie takes place, so I'm supposed to just think she's a rocker but it kinda seems like she'll listen to just about anything. I think in 2018 liking Motorhead and The Smiths (who are used ad nauseum in this movie) is perfectly common, but I feel like in the 80s that was a much different and much older attitude to take.

Anyway Charlie's poor family lives in a super fucking nice house and are poor because the dialogue keeps insisting they are so it must be true despite all the shit they have that actually poor people would sell blood and teeth to attain, but hell, this is Hollywood and Hollywood poor is like regular people upper middle class. Charlies family is so poor that instead of giving her a one time graduation/birthday present to buy a part for a car she already has, they just give her a moped, She also spends all her time at a pull apart where the manager (who might be her uncle that wasn't super clear) is willing to just give her a Volkswagen so I don't understand why she didn't already have the project car up and running. Whatever, it's a plot contrivance. All you need to know is that Charlie is tenacious and hard around the edges cuz her dad is dead and she's not yet mature enough to process that in a healthy way. Maybe her character arch will teach her to let others in, we'll have to find out.

There's also a wacky nerd named Memo, and some bad guys, and John Cena. They are all also pretty archetypal and contrived and don't really do anything of note that isn't just filling a beat that this kind of movie needs to walk. Charlie starts Bumblebee up, discovers he's a robot and the two begin to bond. Charlie learns to make a friend, and bumblebee is learning about himself. They get into hijinks and get revenge on a bully girl who makes Regina George look like a saint, she pretty much only picks on Charlie exclusively for having a dead dad.

The moment Bumblebee is woken back up, some technology goof em up that both he and Charlie are unaware of brings two Decepticon baddies into the picture. I don't remember their names, but since I love The Venture Brothers let's say they can be "Jet Boy and Jet Girl". Jet Boy and Jet Girl are sometimes cars, sometimes various flying military vehicles, and they make friends with the deep state and plan to get all the adrenochrome from all the orphans, or just to go find Bumblebee and beat his ass good cuz their bad guys. Let me tell y'all though, Jet Boy and Jet Girl are so bad that they don't even care that the government is listening when they reveal that they are planning on bringing a Decepticon Invasion and after they rough up Bumblebee real good they are going to destroy all life on this planet. So they start by killing a military scientist.

John Cena is after Bumblebee and he's homies with Jet Boy and Jet Girl until the military scientist butt dials him and he hears the evil plan. John Cena goes from heel to face and helps Bumblebee and Charlie save the day. It's a giant CG clusterfuck climax a la any superhero film in the last 10 years and I basically stopped watching. BumbleBee pulls a Hellraiser on Jet Boy, and then he hits Jet Girl with a freaking boat. Charlie uses her diving skills do dive down and save him, but he's a Giant Robot and he was okay and it was literally pointless for her to to except as a way to show that her character has completed her arch by doing the thing that was representative of her connection with her lost father.

Bumblebee turns into the Camaro from the first movie, meets up with Optimus prime, and the stage is set for this prequel to squeeze more prequels out. So it wasn't very creative, but was it bad? Let's find out.

Please Stand to receive the Benediction.

Best Aspect: Transform the Franchise

Bumblebee was directed by Travis Knight of Laika fame and it shows. This movie marks a stylistic change in the transformers franchise, as in it doesn't look like utter dog shit, but it also represents in many ways a tonal shift. It does hold on to a lot of gross sleaze that has unfortunately been forcibly jammed into the DNA of the franchise but it also attempts to be a more heartfelt entry. The characters of Bumblebee might all be sort of a waste of time, but at least they are doing something with emotions, even if the emotions of the characters are only explored as deeply as a children's cartoon I'm glad they are there. In the previous installments the only thing the characters did between running from action piece to seizure inducing action piece was drool over underage girls like a bunch of chimpanzees at the facility where they test experimental E.D. meds. It was nice to see that at least somewhat tampered. This transformers movie feels more like it's for kids and young teenagers, and strangely that more friendly tone makes for a much less juvenile product.

Worst Aspect: Remember I Love the 80s from the 2000s

I hope you really like Stranger Things. I do, but because Stranger Things was so successful it' s going to be everywhere. Not true Stranger Things just 80s nostalgia porn. This 80s nostalgia is going to be forced on you whether you like it or not, and it's not going to be fun. It's gonna be in your shows, in your music, in your Sunday like Bacon in 2010. It's that or Marvel Franchise Brand Whedonisms. Bumblebee is that brave movie that says, "Why not both?" It would seem fitting that a property as quintessentially 80s as Transformers should feel completely comfortable doing a period piece set in the 80's but it's so fucking half hearted it's depressing. It wasn't done to appreciate the roots of the IP, it was done to cash in on a trend and it feels it. All they did was throw up a date and insufferably force an 80s soundtrack down your throat as if that was enough to convince you that this movie needed to be set during this time. Other than that you could have told me this film was set in 2007 and I couldn't tell you any different.

Best Character: Charlie's an Angel

I liked Charlie. Sure her Arc is predictable, her taste is dumb, and she isn't exactly a master of her own destiny to any degree. But at least she is a woman in a transformers movie who's got something going on. Sure she's defined entirely by grief, but that sure is better than pretending that being able to work on cars is a feminist character trait instead of a weird fetish thing. They certainly do that thing with Charlie, but at least it's not the only thing they throw at the wall. Bumblebee is by no means out of the woods in this department, but it garners a lot of goodwill for trying. Like a racist uncle who just started his journey out of ignorance, but hasn't yet realized he has to stop asking mortifying questions to the barista at Starbucks. Okay, maybe that's an extreme metaphor. I'm saying that perhaps Charlie is not a great character but she's a great character for a Transfomers movie.

Worst Character: It's JOOOOHHHNNNN CEEEENA!!!!

Why is John Cena in this movie? I don't hate the guy, but his character seems pointless. You could remove him from the movie completely and replace him with any one of the random military goons at any point and it changes nothing. What was with that dumb salute at the end? It seems like they put him in this movie in post and it was just to pump up cast list. I wish he was given anything to work with. I can't remember his characters name, and it's not like John Cena did a bad job, I was just annoyed every time they kept giving him hero shots. I felt like I was watching a trailer for a different movie.

Best Actor: Optimal Primo!

Every time Peter Cullen speaks I want to listen. There's a reason they haven't had Chris Pratt or somebody with a bigger name come in and take over the role at this point. He's why the audience keep coming back. Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime, and there's no changing that. He also wins twice. He's the best actor in the movie AND he's barely in the movie. Good call Peter.

Worst Actor: Mean Girls 2, Meaner and Girlier

I don't want to be cruel so I'm not going to go into to much detail, but there's an actress in this film who's performance is so mustache twirlingly evil and stupid that it ruined my suspension of disbelief when i knew going in that i was about to endure a 2 hour toy commercial about robots that turn into cars. Beldar Conehead was a more convincing human being than Tina.

Best Effect: Goo Be Gone

I really appreciated when the bad guys shot the government nerd into a blast of snot. That was pretty fun for me. Best part of the movie hands down.

Worst Effect: Live Action?

Bumblebee is a cartoon. It's a great looking cartoon but it doesn't sell itself that way. If we were doing a Roger Rabbit thing I'd have no gripes. However, I think CG is just getting worse. I'm criticizing this and it's still lightyears better than the previous entry's on the franchise. No transformation or fight sequence in Bumble Bee had me straining to make sense of what I was looking at. I think it was a great idea to start using some basic shapes and outlines to these characters, and return somewhat to their 80s designs. But at certain points, especially when there were no humans in the shot, i was pretty convinced I was watching Clone Wars. There may not be anyway around this, as the Transformers concept might not be able to be pulled off in any more effective manner. It's a minor gripe, but I just didn't think it looked like anything other than a very expensive cartoon, and in this franchise that's a compliment, because it least it looked like SOMETHING!

Best Scene: Space Opera

I am not a Transformers fan. I missed the boat on the cartoon as a kid. I would sometimes catch it at friends houses but I was more into Batman, Star Wars, and Ninja Turtles. By the time I came onto the scene the world had moved on to Beast Wars. I did one day arbitrarily decide that my favorite Transformer was Sound Wave. He looked great in this. I am a big fan of the return to form with a lot of the character designs in this. They really did keep the things that worked from the other adaptations, and they are steadily removing the things that didn't. For this reason, the scenes on Cybertron, particularly the battle with Soundwave (i prefer for personal reasons) looked great and were exciting to watch. I remember thinking Cybertron used to look like a Marilyn Manson shot a music video from inside to dumpster. This is so much better.

Worst Scene: Blocking the Box

There's a scene in Bumblebee where Charlie's family decides the best way to save their daughter was to cause a pile up of vehicles in an intersection, and it's pure contrived writing that saved any character in that sequence from being killed in a horrific traffic accident. It was stupid, played for laughs, and it wasn't exciting as much as it was anxiety inducing. I also thought that there was no reason the covert military group covering up extraterrestrial life wouldn't just disappear this family of fucking morons in their little piece of shit car. The logic of the scene was just so childish like, "No they won't hit me, I'm a good person."

Summary

Bumblebee may be remembered fondly in a decade. I think especially if the Transformers franchise were to end here. It didn't get the publicity of the other films, and that really is a shame. For my money, this was the best Transformers movie so far. I was very tempted to give Bumblebee a C, it does just enough to right what was wrong from the other movies to make me appreciate all that work. This movie has heart, and if you are at all into Transformers then l think you should see it. It's still pretty stupid, and pretty basic. It's not offering anything new to the genre, and it feels like a commercial for more movies. I really wish we could just get movies that want to tell a story. I thought it over and decided that it wasn't fair not to grade Bumblebee on it's own merits. Bumblebee is substantially better than the films that preceded it, but that's not saying a lot, when the films that preceded it are joyless exercises in self abuse.

Overall Grade: D

[bikerboyfriend]

Hi I hope you are doing well ! I wanted to ask how are you learning languages? I've always wanted to pick up a second language (especially creole or French to speak to my grandparents). Also I think its amazing that you're learning so many at once good, especially mandarin! I hear once you master that, learning languages comes easier :)

hey!! and thanks :) .....IMO, I learn best (and I think most people) through imitation and immersion. so imo the essentials forwhat works for me:

Find an app/website/YouTuber to stick with to learn the basics with (so Duolingo, Memrise, Drops, etc.). I think you should try a few and find out which you like best! They’re not good to become fluent or even intermediate but they’ll get you familiar w/the language and it’s grammar I think.

whatever your interests are, you can find them in that language! So I think you should find french youtubers (w/english subtitles at first ofc, a lot of them have that). Listen to a lot of music in your target language (any genre that you like) and shit + get into the culture and shit bc I think its fun

watching a lot of films and stuff is good, but I think TV Shows / Talk Shows are best because that’s how actual native speakers will speak & will watch. Though it’s like that in films, it’s always gonna be way more dramatised and......a pretty way of talking? 🤔 It depends. but I stand by what I said !!

hinative ! I personally, don’t think you should use google translate until you’re intermediate because google translate and any translate app is Shit. it’s only useful if you know exactly what you’re looking for,,if that makes sense. hinative is great for asking questions and how to say things—most of the time, someone else has asked the question before you so you can just search for it!!

something else: when you get comfortable enough, I think reading comics/webtoons in that language is a good idea. Webtoon has really good comics that you can read in french! if you’re into anime/manga, there are always subs in french / translations for french people

So through doing that shit, you’ll get naturally...curious about the language. Through watching youtubers, you might copy phrases they say or get curious as to what a joke means + naturally learn about the culture and the way people speak, etc! 

some other things

join a groupchat or discord or find a language partner....best through, Discord, HelloTalk, Tandem or Reddit!

put your phone/computer in french and struggle....cuz I think the stress of having to know what something is or you’ll make a mistake is good

talking to urself....in that language..is also good. I personally, talk 2 myself in my target languages all the time and make up scenarios and just randomly be doing them in the shower cuz I’ll get curious on like.....what I would say in that scenario...and yes 🤔🤔🤔

anki!! anki’s a good ass app.

I also think a journal in ur target language is really good. Because with a journal you learn how to express yourself! Here’s a good video about it! Though it’s about learning Korean but he speaks broadly about it so you can apply it to anything.

ok thas like...what i know. Sorry there’s nothing specifically about Creole—but from what I’ve heard, learning the basics in french or just simply learning french will help you learn Creole quicker. I think most french speakers, esp black ppl ofc, understand most Creole to a certain degree ! So yeah,,,,i hope this helped u out a bit.