#I've just not been able to do anything because I keep staring at the drafts from before I took my big break

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Feeling much better after what feels like 36 hours of straight sleep. Thankfully, my sense of smell has already come back almost entirely. It's so depressing to not be able to taste anything, even for a day or two.

I had pretty mind symptoms the whole time, but I did have a series of creative visions come to me while I had a low-grade fever. We'll see if I still like those ideas once I get them down on the page.

Super fucking annoyed. Despite the fact that I've worn a mask every time I set foot out of the house since September (which is like once or twice a WEEK), I'm pretty positive I have COVID because one of the people I live with has an immune system made of shrapnel and doesn't bother to mask up or take any precautions.

[wishmemel]

cherry blossom springs, ft. fushiguro megumi

synopsis: megumi's oblivious to a lot of things. he's just never seen or lived. not really, not like you do. the sky is blue, the grass is green, and you’re sunshine. but what is he supposed to do with that and when did he get so lucky to be able to call you his? tags: megumi x f! reader, non-curse au, megumi’s pov, established relationship, fluff, characters are in uni (2nd year?) but have known each other since high school, sanrio lover! reader as always, reader is a spring baby cw: i don't think there's any! wc. almost 1.2k posted: 08/03/24 a/n: i've had this in my drafts forever, just felt iffy posting it since the word count is so low and it doesn't exactly come off as a story :(( but then i thought it was too poetic not to and it'd be a shame if no one else saw megumi the way i do so enjoy!!

Your pinky is interlaced with Megumi’s and even though you’re here—at your class, where you’re supposed to be—he’s reluctant to let go.

He’s only just found you, how is he supposed to let go so soon?

The two of you pause outside the door, locking eyes with each other shyly.

Megumi’s gaze softens, his tone hesitant and cautious, as if he’s still afraid that you’ll turn tail and reject him. “You’re… you’re my girlfriend, right?”

You blink at him, then giggle a little in response at his insecure question. “Duh, of course. What, you want a kiss to make sure?”

He’s already protesting, eyes wide, ears red, but you plant a quick kiss on his cheek before he can say anything, and he just watches, dumbstruck, as you wave goodbye at him, still giggling to yourself, before heading inside the classroom.

He blinks, dazed, and wipes his cheek, staring at the pink lipstick smeared on his fingers with a stupid smile.

You chatter off about your classes and he nods, pretending to listen while he’s captivated by the sight of your lit eyes and your bright smile. The high pitch of your excited voice is music to his ears and he's convinced he must’ve been unable to hear before he met you.

It’s like seeing love take form in a person. He can’t help but be drawn to you, and, more than that, he’s still dazed, head spinning from trying to wrap itself around the mere idea that you were his and he was yours.

He can call you his girlfriend now. He can talk about you all he wants without feeling guilty or self-conscious about the idea. He can hold your hand like this in public, your thumb softly stroking against the back of his hand in ways that make his heart race. He can stare at you like this for hours, enchanted by what you’re saying and not have you question him because you’re his girlfriend and he can look and no one’s going to stop him.

Is this what love is?

He can never tear his eyes off of you—things that should be embarrassing, he finds endearing. He has the urge to stare at you all the time and he’s always resisting the urge to reach out and touch you, even in small ways, even a little, like brushing the hair out of your eyes or making you pause so he can wipe away a stray eyelash. You have this way of keeping his face constantly hot and red—he’s always blushing and it’s so humiliating, but it feels like love.

He swears he can see little hearts floating next to your head when you speak to him, and it’s like all your words come out as music, lyrics that wrap around his head and go through his ears like some kind of alluring song he can never get enough of.

He sees Hello Kitty themed things and immediately thinks of you, wondering if you’d like a keychain that he spots on a student’s bag or some large sunglasses on another—all so ridiculous and shameless and so utterly you.

He finds it senseless how you don’t care about anyone else’s opinion, how you flaunt your style and your likes. He finds it ridiculous that he’s stopped caring the longer he’s with you too. But why look at anyone else, why think of anyone else, when you’re right there?

You’re his sun, the centre of his universe—life without you would go back to being dark and gloomy and unbearable.

You tap his shoulder. He flinches.

“Megumi,” you giggle enchantingly. “You’re not paying attention to me.”

Has he ever stopped?

“Come on, we’re going to miss our next class!”

Spring brings with it cherry blossoms and it seems like you can’t get enough of the beautiful pink flowers that decorate every corner of campus.

You love spring for more reasons than one—it’s your favourite season and you love to see the blossoming flowers, always stopping in awe to point out each new bud to him with buzzing excitement. He finds it contagious, he can’t help the smile that twitches at the corners of his mouth.

When the two of you are apart and he’s missing you, he sends you pictures of the pink petals fluttering to the ground to remind you that he’s always thinking of you. You send him selfies of half your face in class, barely concealing the wide smile that you bear.

Before your dates, he plucks flowers from the courtyard of your university, late at night so he won’t be caught, and brings them home to colour coordinate into blooming bouquets tied with white ribbons. But when he shows up he never tells you where he brings the bouquets from and you never ask, though you must have noticed the coincidences.

Instead, you have on your brightest smile, this tender look in your eyes that says, for me? you did this for me? every time and it makes it so worth it that he forgets the bleeding palms and the thorn scratches and the hours he spent coming up with arrangements until his eyes started mixing colours.

Spring brings with it your birthday and you haven’t said a word about it.

He’s sure you think nothing of the event—he wonders how you’ve spent it in earlier years—but he’s determined to make it everything you want, gaudy heart balloons, tacky surprise party, and all. Even if he hates such events. There’s nothing that isn’t worth sacrificing for you.

You're always giving—you insist on paying for his meals when the two of you go out together (though he never lets you), you're the first one to initiate any physical contact between you and him, and it's because of you that the two of you are able to talk through your problems (because lord knows Megumi is the type to remain silent and ruminate over such things.) For once, he wants to take the first step, he wants to give you something that'll light up your face. More than just "seeing him smile" like you claim. Something satisfying and worthy. He's sure he'll come up with something in time for your special day.

Spring brings with it rain and it means, more often than not, that you two forget your umbrellas at home and have to run to classes on the other side of campus.

Still, you’re always laughing beside him as he uses his jacket as a cover, and he finds his head whipping at the sight, trying to take you in as much as he can.

You see him staring. You laugh harder. You tell him to look ahead before he falls.

He thinks it’s too late, but he’s afraid to say that out loud.

Spring brings with it blossoming, blooming love like the flowers you adore and the growing smile he can’t wipe off his face.

Under the cherry blossoms, Megumi thinks he could love you like this forever. This is his third spring loving you, but it can’t be his last. He wants to make sure this love continues forevermore.

comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

Let me preface this by saying I mean this in a genuine way because I know it could be taken differently but how are you able to write and post so much in a given week? What is your process? Do you have a lot of WIPs going at the same time? Or just a lot of free time? I feel lucky if I manage 1,000 a week 😥 is there a method to it?

Hello! Thank you for your question. I appreciate the genuine interest instead of being like this person and discrediting my work.

There are a few different aspects that go into my writing process and how I'm able to write so much and so often! I answered a similar question before, but I'm happy to elaborate and try to get into more specifics!

Before I do though, I do want to point out that the speed you write has nothing to do with how good you are as an author! Some of the most well renowned authors are FAMOUSLY slow (i.e. think George R.R. Martin), whereas Nora Roberts, for example, has written multiple full length novels in a single year.

The main things I think it comes down to are:

Experience

Genre

Who you are as a person

Personally, I tend to find that writing is sort of like... like a reflex? Or maybe like working out a muscle? It can be a bit foreign at first and take time to find your style, but when you've done enough of it, it becomes a bit like second nature, especially when you write the same genre over and over, and do a lot of reading in that genre.

I have been reading novels since I was young. I've also been reading/writing fan fiction since I was 12 or 13, so over a decade ago now, and I've always done romance. Which is to say, I've been writing a long time with the same themes! But if you asked me to write a mystery novel or true crime or something, it'd probably take me an actual eternity.

My general process for writing starts with just a loose outline/skeleton of what the story will be. So, really just basic paragraphs of what I want to happen and what the general mood or setting is. For example, I've been working on Chapter 14 for my fic Playing for Keeps, and these are the first two paragraphs of my outline/plan:

Sebastian and Chouette wake up to find that their Prefect’s Bathroom post has gone viral overnight. As they make their way to breakfast in the Great Hall, eyes follow them, and other students are whispering, giggling, and outright staring at them. The attention is something Sebastian thrives on. He leans into it as he overhears students speculating about what exactly happened that night.

Chouette, on the other hand, feels a little overwhelmed. She’s never been the center of attention like this before, not for anything good, anyway. But now, people are looking at her and seeing her as Sebastian Sallow’s girlfriend. Meanwhile, she doesn’t even know if they are official because they haven’t talked about it. But Sebastian seems to be rolling with it, which only makes her nerves tangle even more.

Second, I have a work from home tech job, so I am literally at my computer all the time. I don't have to wait for free time after work or whatever, I can write on my lunch break or whenever I have down time because the tab is literally just... open.

I also just... don't have that many hobbies. Like besides reading and writing, I... play video games or spend time with my boyfriend. I don't really watch TV or movies, nor am I very extroverted so I don't make plans with friends super often. My point is, I guess I'm just kinda lame and this is just what I do with my spare time.

And then, thirdly, yes, I have soooo maaaany WIPs. I like to write a bunch of stuff in parallel so if I get writer's block on one thing, I can just move onto another. Right now I have over 10 drafts on Tumblr alone of unfinished fics at various stages of completeness, and that doesn’t even scrape the surface of the numerous half-baked stories just sitting on my computer.

Another thing to consider is that lately I’ve been doing a lot of writing for asks which I personally find a lot easier because the plot is already given to me! Like for me one of the hardest parts of writing is coming up with the storyline, so when that’s already done for me it’s like a weight lifted from my shoulders. I also find one-shots infinitely easier than weaving together a full length novel.

Recently, like very recently, I've also had the absolute pleasure of chatting more with other writers in the fandom like @newdreamlove95 and this has also been WONDERFUL for helping with planning/revising/and writing in general.

Anyway... I hope this helps and/or answers your question Anon. Feel free to send more questions if you have them.

[hollow-lime-green]

AO3 Wrapped (hana's version)

Since I just did the fanfic writer interview post a while back, this will be short (although I love to yap so send me asks if there's anything you want to hear me yap about RE my writing this year). I'm going to keep it short - something I've never done before! New Year New Me.

Words Written: 139.8k (about 3 great gatsbies, I think)

Works Published: 5! All in the FIYM verse!

Fastest Work (per word): string theory

Slowest Work (per word): 2sorcs chapter 12, probably

Number of WIPs I'm Taking into 2025:

1 posted (2sorcs) I really really really wanted to finish 2sorcs this year, but alas, I did not. But then I'll be able to say I've been writing 2sorcs for two years!

4 in the drafts, also all for the FIYM-verse (man I should write other things)

Favorite Character to Write: Nanami!

I use him sparingly because his narration will get old if I overdo it, but it's such a delight to write him sometimes. As the straight man of 2sorcs, he gets to be an outlet for me to say "look, I know this inconcievably gay situation has jumped the shark multiple times, I know this is ridiculous."

Favorite Moment(s) I've Written:

"The Mario Bros Bully Sailor Satoru"

Kenjaku Reveal

Malevolent Kitchen as a real cooking show (based on Cutthroat Kitchen, which is my Roman Empire)

Hardest Thing I've Written:

The missions in 2sorcs, not even close. Oh my goodness that was such a bitch to write. I just wasn't happy with it for such a long time, until finally it clicked for me and I figured out what I wanted to do.

Some of my Favorite Lines and Jokes:

From string theory -

“...You’re self-conscious?” Suguru stares at him like he’s grown a second head. But Satoru feels like he isn’t even working with one functioning brain at this point, let alone two. I know I’m not the shape of someone you could love. “I…” Satoru bites his lip. He shrinks back as Suguru settles next to him on the bed. Please don’t hate me for wanting to pretend.

From 2sorcs -

“Maybe,” Suguru shrugged. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.” “Mmmm. Very panopticon of you.” Panopticon? Suguru considered himself bisexual, but he was kind of fluid with labels.

also

You see, Kenjaku was not an artist, Kenjaku was a patron of the arts. Best to let the real artist work his craft. Of course, Kenjaku had theories about the plot. Multiple theories, in fact. These ‘anime-onlies’ (so to speak) were so invested in what would happen to their precious Starks, while true manga fans (in a sense) like Kenjaku were already well into arguing (on online forums) about the identity of Azor Ahai, The Warrior of Light, The Son of Fire, wielder of Lightbringer, the Prince That Was Promised. Anyway, if the old man didn’t get his shit together, Kenjaku would have to take steps. They had connections. All it would take would be a few galas, a donation here and there, and they’d be in the writers’ room by Season 7.

From relativity (I just posted this yesterday, so check it out if you haven't) -

Because every top in gay porn is some muscle hunk with a buzz cut, twenty tribal tattoos, and enough oil on their bodies that George W. Bush would accuse them of hiding WMDs in their pants. (And he’d be right).

This list is mostly inspired by @fushiglow's wrapped post! (Also thanks for the tag @marichild - since I have only really been writing in one ship/fandom this year, that set of question/answers wouldn't have been super interesting to read for my stats, probably).

[n4tural1]

I wrote a short story.

Its only a draft, so please give me some feedback :3 I hope you like it! (Tw for assassination and corporate greed)

“What I’m doing is good. What I’m doing will be good for all of us.”

My boots trudge through the wet concrete beneath me, leaving muddy prints where they stood. I glance around to check if anyone will be able to trace them to me, but all I am met with is the oppressive sight of the stores and buildings. Despite how long I've lived here, these buildings always seemed different at night. Whether it was the moonlight glistening off of the sea spray, or the sudden change in their backlighting, they always seemed to loom over me. Of course, I never had the choice to get used to the sight; being seaside meant I never saw them like this often. Then again, everything seemed darker since Apex Oil arrived.

…

It was a normal February. I just started my senior year and it was going well. My group of friends were as strong as ever, even hanging out every weekend to talk about our lives and help each other with homework. It was actually one of these weekends that we were told the bad news. My mom entered the living room, one hand on the door-frame, wearing that face a mother has when she has to tell her child that the family pet died. “Louise, can I talk to you for a moment?” Her voice was sharp and precise. The laughter in the room died.

I left my friends behind, concerned and desperate to find out why she had been so hostile. Surely I hadn’t done anything wrong, I was up to date at school, I had done all my chores, I had even made sure to keep track of the time, why was she so angry?

I wish I hadn’t thought so surface level. That way I could’ve been prepared.

Mom told me that the mayor had agreed to sell off our little seaside town to Apex Oil, and in 2 months, we would have to move.

This town, this little fishing town that grew into a great, loving community, this town that I have spent my entire life living in, this town that I have known nothing but... sold to a corporation.

My friends filed out of the room behind me. Whether they felt the palpable dread or their parents asked to talk to them as well, it didn’t matter; the end result was the same.

We all got the message. That our community was an asset to purchase.

… 

We paraded on the street in front of his new office. One of my friends found out where the CEO was working from then. Students from our school skipped school and were chanting against Apex’s presence in the chill of the early morning wind.

His car plowed through our ranks like nothing.

Most people dived. There were no casualties. But there was worse; a realisation.

The car door above me opened. I had barely dived out of the way. He steps his pristine leather shoes out of his car, and hesitates in his next step. He stares down at me, a look of disgust plastered on his face, waiting for this sobbing mess of an inconvenience to move out of the way of his path.

Our words meant nothing and our presence was only a minor obstacle to be solved.

…

The town got worse. Crime rates increased.

This was no coincidence. He was driving them up to drive us out.

Black cars circled the streets of our town, swerving to hit, swerving to kill.

Swerving to remove an obstacle.

Swerving to hit my Mom.

Was she hit because of my actions? My protest? Or just because she was an inconvenience that had to be removed for profit?

…

The cold steel of my fathers .44 Magnum revolver bites into the skin of my hand. “Is this really worth it?” These memories flash through my mind with blinding speed. I know their worth.

My target is in sight.

Splash. Splash. My boots pick up the pace as I grow faster to keep up with the man. My heart beats in my throat as I cock the hammer with my thumb. He remains with his back to me. I plant my feet in the darkness below.

The scent of the salt spray enters my nose. The memory of my home, of all I’m fighting for. 

My hands are steady, my mind is clear.

I take a deep breath.

My aim is true.

[sovonight]

love letters + the evereska au where xan and radri are friends during his academy days

they're on different schedules so radri usually hangs out in the tree outside the window of xan's last class so she can wave at him and distract him from the lesso--i mean wait for him to walk back together

anyway xan has caught feelings but is "certain" radri doesn't feel the same (he has never asked her) and after contemplating a few methods of dealing with this

(telling her and being shunned and avoided by the only person he actually considers a close friend, taking his feelings with him to his grave, etc)

he decides he is not going to tell her. but he is going to tell her. by writing anonymous love letters to her

(he tells himself this is a good outlet anyway, since his journaling is starting to be taken over by his pining for her and he really needs to get his entries back on track)

so he starts leaving these anonymous notes at the tree that radri waits at (and he's devised a way so that really only radri will notice them ofc)

when radri finds the first note she really just opens it out of curiosity; she's sure that it had just fallen here from above and gotten caught in the branches. inside is a short romantic poem that's clearly directed at a specific person, but she can't put together who it could be

like sure it mentions that the recipient spends time at this tree but surely Anyone could do so. this tree is public property. she folds it back up carefully and tucks it back into the branch for its real recipient to find

when she finds the second note she deliberately leaves it where it is and doesn't open it--then curiosity gets the best of her and she opens it anyway

this time it's a short passage extolling the beauty and grace of the intended recipient, and she gets another clue: the recipient has dark hair

she curls a strand of her dark hair around her finger and thinks wow that's a useless hint, most elves have dark hair

(not really--light hair is more common here. she just hangs around xan's family too much)

more weeks pass and several more notes are left, and xan is able to tell that radri has read each one, because when she's reading them she retreats back towards the tree trunk instead of waving at and distracting him

(in theory this would be good for his attention span in class, but surreptitiously watching for her response ends up distracting him equally, if not more)

xan's honestly a little discouraged that radri hasn't kept a single note. have they not been to her liking? but radri is always a little quieter on their walks back when he leaves a note, as though her mind is elsewhere, so her thoughts must linger on them

in one of these moments he asks her if she's read anything interesting lately (unable to help fishing for a reaction) and radri's like sigh no i haven't finished that one book yet, i've been distracted lately

and xan's like, distracted by what? and radri's mind goes to the notes--which have become progressively more heartfelt and passionate and vulnerable--and turns red and changes the subject

(xan is heartened by this response and is in an uncharacteristically good mood until evening, when he wonders if radri doesn't just enjoy the notes because they're coming from anyone but him. he falls into a dejected reverie)

another day xan has a long essay to write up about the ethics of charm spells and radri comes over to keep him company (aka find other ways to occupy herself in his room while he writes)

she knows what his handwriting looks like--it's an elegant yet messy scrawl that she needs to stare at to understand what he's written, even after all these years--and apparently his instructors feel the same, because after xan has finished his final draft, he starts on his actual submission, carefully rewriting his essay word for word in a slower, neater script

she knows that handwriting. not from his other assignments--she's never bothered to look at them before--but from the love notes. she doesn't know why, but she has to leave, now

she ends up on her bed in her room, revisiting all the words she'd read in those notes, and comes to the only conclusion: xan is in love, and the object of his affections is heartless. because how could anyone read all that he had written, and never leave their own response? surely an uninterested party could at least do him the courtesy of politely rejecting him before he spills out the entirety of his heart

after all, those notes had been--they'd been--if she'd known it was him, she would have kept them all! secretly, of course. and if only she could. she sighs; no, they don't belong to her, and for the sake of xan's heart, she should figure out who they do belong to

she makes a list of everyone in xan's classes who fits the physical descriptions he'd provided in his notes--which were unfortunately very sparse. then she spends the next three weeks carefully observing and crossing off anyone who doesn't match the other hints he'd provided

she doesn't really know what she'll do when she finds out who it is. politely confront them? bring it up to xan, and--as a concerned friend--convince him that they're not worth his time? it turns out she needn't have worried, though, because her investigation concludes with her having crossed everyone off her list

she's dumbfounded. perhaps she'd assumed wrong: it's not someone from his classes, it's someone he encounters outside of them. but he rarely goes anywhere except home, and the library, and on long walks with her, during which she's never noticed his attention lingering on anyone else. she could make another list, this time taking into account everyone else in evereska… but that task is too daunting. no, unfortunately, she'll have to ask xan outright

meanwhile, xan has barely seen radri for the past three weeks. his latest note--asking for a response, so that he can know if it's worth it for him to admit his feelings for her--has gone unread. so he's surprised when he returns from class to find radri waiting at the door to his room

she looks… restless. nervous. like a big question is weighing on her, one she's not sure how to ask, and xan realizes with dread that she's already put everything together, and that all of his feelings are just a big burden on her

so he tells her she can just forget about everything he'd written in those notes, and brushes past her to enter his room so that she need not face him any longer

but radri doesn't leave--she lingers by his open door, and asks hopefully, so does that mean you've moved on from them?

xan's like. …"them"??

and radri's like, you know. the person you were writing to. whoever they are. …who are they, by the way?

xan just stares at her (perhaps the circumstances he created for plausible deniability were crafted too well) as radri rambles her way through saying that it's for the best, that they wouldn't have been good enough for him, that they never did him the courtesy of responding anyway

and that he's really charming and beautiful and eloquent and that if it were her--not that she's implying it could ever be!--she would have been moved, and by the way she's sorry for reading all of that without permission

and xan takes her hand and he's like. they were for you.

and radri's like. huh?

he places the last note into her hand and gives her a small, tentative smile, nodding at her to read it. this one, at last, mentions her by name--which it also waxes poetic about--and ends with a plea for her to give him some sign that she might return even the barest fraction of his feelings, so that he might know if his love isn't hopeless after all

now that she knows they're for her, the collective impact of his notes hits her all at once, and she's struck speechless. xan's tentative smile falters, wondering if all of this was a bad idea after all, if she dislikes that he'd taken such a roundabout method of confessing his feelings, if he should've just told her outright from the start--

radri squeezes her eyes shut and kisses him. on the chin

when she realizes that she'd missed, she reddens, deeply embarrassed, and ducks her head and goes, w-well, i'll show myself out, but xan lifts her hand and kisses it, thanking her for her "sign"

(this makes her speechless too, and she has to reboot before she can move again, by which time xan has gathered the presence of mind to ask if she wants to stay for dinner since it's late anyway, and she accepts)

(he does eventually ask her what she was doing in those three weeks that he didn't see her, which radri brushes off with an embarrassed laugh and an excuse, until xan lets slip that he'd been worried she'd attributed his notes to some other elf instead and had left to spend time with them, at which point radri confesses the truth. xan considers himself lucky that she had not, indeed, meticulously sorted through the entire population of evereska, because it might have postponed the official start of their courtship for several months)

[bones4uuu]

Never to Heaven by Lana Del Rey

May my eyes always stay level to the horizon may they never gaze as high as heaven, to ask why May I never go where angels fear to tread so as to have to ask for answers in the sky The whys in this lifetime I've found are inconsequential compared to the magic of the nowness - the solution to most questions there are no reasons And if there are - I'm wrong but at least I won't have spent my life waiting looking for God in the clouds of the dawn I'll be up early to rise though of course - but only to make you a pot of coffee That's what I was thinking this morning Joe that it's times like this as the marine layer lifts off the sea from the view of our favorite restaurant that I pray that I may always keep my eyes level to your eyeline never downcast at the table cloth You see, Joe it's times like this that the marine layer lifts off the sea on the dock without candle lit that I think to myself there are things you still don't know about me like sometimes I'm afraid my sadness is too big and that one day you might have to help me handle it may my eyes always stay level to the skyline assessing Long Beach's glittering new development never higher than the tallest building never to heaven or revenant 'Cause I have faith in man as strange as that seems in times like these and it's not just because of the warmth I've found in your brown eyes It's because I believe in the goodness in me that it's firm enough to plant a flag in or a rosebud or to build a new life.

I was gifted Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass by Lana Del Rey from my cousin this past Christmas. I've been wanting this book for years but never found myself wanting to spend nearly $30 on it.

I always struggled in English class when we had to write poetry. I would sit there and stare at my blank notebook and try so hard to write anything but was left with nothing that felt right. Any poetry I would read, I just couldn't fully grasp it. It wasn't until this book that It finally clicked. It might have to do with the fact that I've been listening to Lana since BTD days, and her music has heavily influenced my adolescence, but she has such a way with words and being able to write something that I can feel so deeply it's like she's read my mind.

The poem above is my favorite from the book. She has the unedited one as well, and I prefer it over the final draft, but both still resonate so deeply with me. I might dabble a little more in the realm of poetry after this. Maybe turning 22 in December led me into a new path of life where I understand this shit now. Not mad about it. Maybe I'll even attempt to write some now (probably not).

[yoshizora]

i recently discovered one of the libraries in my area has video games so for the past couple months i played Metroid Dread, Pikmin 3 Deluxe, and Astral Chain. heres some random thoughts bc i wanna talk about them @ a wall (also i just wanna complain about Astral Chain specifically)

Metroid Dread: 9/10

really tight controls, the parry felt seamless in combat, and the navigation/puzzles felt challenging without wanting to smash my head against a wall. the EMMI have excellent atmospheric tension but after a couple of them they feel... scripted and predictable. i do wonder if they would've been better off being random encounters throughout the whole area maps, but passages would have to be specifically designed around their movements so maybe not.

final boss was a banger; one of the most fun boss fights in any game i've played in years.

also samus hot

Pikmin 3: pikmin/10

i've never played a pikmin game before because for some reason i just never thought i would get into it but IT'S GOOD!!!!!!!!

i could not decide if this was relaxing or stressful. maybe both at the same time. yeah. rock pikmin are my faves. no but it's such a unique rts system that i can't really compare to anything else i've played, i'm kicking myself for not playing any pikmin games earlier.

i'm gonna go buy pikmin 4 when i'm able to. this game slaps. i'm gonna go eat some fruit.

Astral Chain: 6/10

i'll start this off by saying i really like the combat; it's stylish, fast, fun, AND not just a rapid button masher (like bayonetta, which hurt my hands to play). the lock-on system is kinda janky and so is the camera, but the important thing is that fighting is FUN.

buuuuuut, uhh, the story? the characters? huh??? did someone just, forget to polish this rough draft?? this was the epitome of all flash with no substance; the protagonist player being silent is REALLY detrimental when the sibling plays such a large role in the story in tandem with the player. there is no real emotional bond nor depth to their relationship, because the entire dynamic is just Akira yelling about whatever and the player staring blankly at them. it was basically the Byleth issue all over again and i hated it. Akira barely had much of a personality anyway.

i'm not sure what to say about the story because there was barely a story? look, it's fine if the mysterious otherworldly phenomenon has no explanation because that keeps the intrigue and alien-ness about it, but you can't have the story constantly questioning WHAT the chimeras are and WHERE all this came from then answer nothing. maybe there are proper answers in the data files/reports...? but imo, a player shouldn't have to scour the optional side content in a game in order to get the most crucial answers for the MAIN STORY.

i do see why people who don't care much about story/characters would praise this game so much, because the combat IS fun and the visuals/music are great, but the platforming segments were NOT fun and i was wholly sick of the astral plane parts by the end.

also, jena was one of the most disappointing wastes of an antagonist i've ever seen in any game. lmao.

[thefandomlesbian]

Hello hello!!! Your posting about typing up (or rather, procrastinating typing up, lol) your notebook has me curious: what's your writing process like? 👀

Process? We're supposed to have a process?

In all seriousness, my writing model has more or less stayed the same since middle school, where I didn't have access to any devices but a pen and paper were always within reach. I've been a fast touch typer (~90-100 wpm) since sixth grade, so when I had downtime at school, I would write in a notebook and type everything I had written when I got home.

At that age, I generally just typed exactly what I had written down. But as I got older, I started revising as I typed, even going over my drafts with a red pen and a highlighter to point out things that were inconsistent, overdone, unnecessary, or just didn't fit with the narrative. It wasn't (and still isn't) unusual for me to axe multiple pages, hundreds of words, when I realize that a scene doesn't work or I don't want to keep it.

I did go through a phase early in college where I skipped the notebook. Frankly... You can tell. I wrote an AHS fic over half a million words (and I'm proud of myself for it--but if I had stuck to tried and true, I would've told the same story with the same themes and symbols at a much more readable length). It took a few years for me to realize the reason I was struggling with being so verbose, unable to cut anything, was because the act of staring at a document on a screen forces me to skip a vital step in my storytelling.

For me, typing is revision. If I don't like the direction a scene is going, I skim it to get the point of what I need to communicate, and then I close the notebook and rewrite without looking at the original, generally with a better notion of what is going to flow with the final draft. The original doesn't interfere with my thought process because I'm not staring at it. It's something I haven't been able to do on a document. With the existence of copy and paste features, I cheat myself and keep too much. Handwriting also forces me to slow down, since I can't churn out 90+ wpm by hand, so I can't vomit every purple prosey nonsense that crosses my mind, and by the time I catch up with what NEEDS to be on the page to communicate my point, I'm ready to move on. The overall quality of my work improves dramatically when I force myself to take the second step instead of writing directly into my document.

Obviously I still use a lot of tech features--Ellipsus has been a total game changer for me. And depending on the story, some things I do write directly in a doc, usually if it's going to be short or if it's something lighthearted and unserious where I don't inordinately care if it's not perfect. But for the stories that I churn out with the intention of having some quality, I always do the overwhelming majority of it by hand, and then revise by typing.

Which is all fun and games for stories <100k, but for stories like JOY (which is currently 188k, about 2/3 finished in my doc, with an entire notebook-and-a half not yet typed), it becomes extremely cumbersome. I wouldn't want to handle a story like JOY without the revision process, as it would be prohibitively long. But with my process, it's also unsurprising that it takes me months or years to get things straightened out in a way that satisfies me.

And it doesn't help that I've got this habit of simply *skipping* a scene that isn't interesting me in the moment, so like the picture of my notebook, scenes are scattered in non-chronological order, tabbed by post-its with the label of what is happening in the scene and, according to the outline, what chapter the scene is supposed to occur in. With the dynamic nature of things, it's par for the course for me to move a scene to a different area of the story, rewrite it beginning to end, swap POV characters, or strip it of the original context to give it a different thematic implication for the overall narrative. And since I often go 6+ months before I double back to do my typing and revising... By the time I get around to it, I don't remember jack diddly shit about the changes I intended to make (hence margin notes, post-it notes, different colors of ink, highlighted areas, often with few clues so I still wind up confused as hell).

So that's the process, if you can even call it that. It's confusing as hell, but it works for me, at least a significant portion of the time. Needless to say, I am a true believer in writing by hand for rough drafts, and I encourage all writers to give it a try--not for a few minutes, but for a few hours, with NO tech available, with an analog clock nearby if time is important. Put the cell phone in another room on silent. Turn off the TV. Don't listen to music with lyrics; if silence is disturbing, white noise, instrumental music, or sometimes music in an unfamiliar language. I very sincerely think most writers would have an entirely different relationship with their work, their writers' block, and their overall creativity if they spent even a small amount of time disconnected for their work.

[callme-whatyoulike]

Facedown

I've had this in the drafts for a while (not because I forgot about it or anything, whaaat, nooo). It's a cute little piece. Tiny tiny bit of angst if you squint, I guess? Mentions of alcohol and drinking. The ending is sweet though, trust me. Enjoy ♡♡

"You look awful."

"Ah, thank you, darling."

"Don't 'darling' me right now, Matthew."

He tumbles into the passenger seat, barely conscious, reeking of alcohol. He stares over at me for just a moment, as if to say something, but he remains silent.

"Put your seatbelt on," I tell him, a bit harshly. He slowly does as instructed. I pull away from the bar and toward his place, though I'm not sure if he's in any sort of condition to be by himself.

We drive quietly for a while. He fights to stay awake, I fight to keep my cool with him. He had said it was just a night out with some of his old mates. That's what I'd been told, anyway, when I had informed him that he was invited to come along for dinner with me and some other friends.

I'm not mad about him declining, that'd be ridiculous. I'm mad about the call I subsequently got at 3 AM. A frantic Matty, saying the cops were there, one of his mates got into a fight, the rest ditched him, and he was in no state to drive home himself.

When he told me who he was going out with, I brought it up to the group. They didn't exactly have the highest opinions of who Matty was spending his time with that evening. Deciding not to drive was probably the only smart thing he had done the whole night.

And Matty's not stupid. He's arrogant, yes, but he's not one to put himself into a dangerous situation, to drink himself to the point of not even being able to walk home. I was furious...but I couldn't just leave him. Unfortunately, I care about my friends and their safety.

Especially Matty's. But particularly caring for Matty for some reason are feelings that I can figure out another time.

After a long time in silence, he speaks up.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't really cut it, Matty."

He nods. Fidgets with something in the cup holder.

"I know. It's...it's really all I've got."

I pause. Glance over at him. He glances at me.

"That was really stupid, Matty. You're smarter than that. Do you have any idea how scared I was for you? You've never done this. I thought you were hurt. Or worse. All because you wanted to get drunk with some friends?"

I take a deep breath. Squeeze the steering wheel.

"I just don't want something bad to happen. Okay? I don't know what I would do...if-"

"If you found out I was dead in a gutter somewhere?"

We're pulling up to his place. The car rolls into the driveway and comes to a stop. Not another soul is awake. It's like we're the only people in the world.

As I put the car in park, I look over at him again. He's tired. Really tired. The streetlight just outside his house illuminates his curly hair, which is even more of a mess than usual. I notice the top three buttons of his shirt have come undone.

"I'm sorry," he says again. This time, he adds, "Not just for my shitty actions, but for dragging you into it. For making you worry."

"You're...you're one of my best friends," I tell him quietly, as if to keep it a secret between the two of us. I want to tell him that, sometimes, he's one of the most important people in the world to me. But I don't. "I'll always worry about you."

He reaches for my hand and I let him take it. He brushes his thumb over mine. He doesn't look up at me.

"Can you stay?" he asks me. A strange feeling shoots through my chest. "I know I've asked enough from you already. And I can only apologize so many times until it loses its meaning altogether." He meets my eyes and says, in a near whisper, "Please. Please stay."

I squeeze his hand. I mean, I've stayed over before. Though, those were very different circumstances. I've never stayed over because he's asked. It's just...what happened.

I get the feeling he isn't just talking about staying over for the night. But, as mad as I am, I can't seem to say no. I want to stay more than anything in the world.

"I'll stay."

[tamelee]

Hii, when are you uploading your next art? It's been like ages lol. Also how's your progress on manga going? And can you suggest some other artists you know, artists like you? Since you also started from 0 followers at some point and your progress on your art is also very inspiring and i guess you know many different artists. I'm searching for inspiration and looking for some Low key artists from other fandoms. I'm slowing trying to improve on my digital painting skills. Still at level 1. Who do you look up to for your inspiration? Sorry, this became a pretty big ask hehe.

Hi~ 💕

Ages? Yeah, ... a little over a month now. I know that because I keep track on it. I pretty much keep track on most things. I do this thing where I plan a few weeks ahead and it is supposed to make sure I have more time left because of the planning but it doesn't account for roadblocks such as wrist pain, technical issues with tablets etc-, mental states, stress, health declines or others. So.. I haven't uploaded anything in a while but I never stopped creating ^^! In fact, I'm learning every single day so that I can create more, "better" (subjective) and build a skill-set that will help me be able to make what I want. I felt like I was making art aimlessly, but having a goal helps. Though, by chance, since you're wondering- this week for sure!

And within that planning is of course the Manga! The process is a lot of fun, but also there is science behind Storytelling and I'm using what I know and learning during my graduation process as well in order to create it. That's why I didn't start drawing until I am completely happy with the story (...and now don't mind so much that my previous draft got lost even thought that was so painful lol). I was so ignorant about it though, thinking I could just... create a Manga. Like c'mon. I knew so much time and dedication went into it and yet I thought I could just... do it 😆 but also, it is this dedication that made me able to do most crazy things in life so why not. If I'm going to spend idk how many hours on this then it better matter to me. I don't want Naruto and Sasuke to just drown in some plot, I want them to actively pursue something they care about and struggle, have dark moments and conflicts... heh.

When I first started drawing.. surprisingly I didn't have that many inspirations. I had no clue what I was doing and so what inspired me was the little art-community around me on Instagram because our goals were similar. My goal to finish Inktober, a wish to "someday create a webtoon" and seeing artists around me upload their art was what inspired me. Then, talking about art, each other's uploads, our obsessions- it was all a lot of fun and helped me improve and so did they! Of course you don't have to go there, you can find artists at any stage of their journey anywhere but really try to find artists and art that you like because your style will grow from that and eventually become your own.

I guess a few artists really stood out to me then, but they're literal gods and nothing like me 🥹..they're; wlop, Z ed, Ruan Jia, Zeen Chin, Guweiz and Dao Tong Le. I had a splash art phase where I fangirl'd (still do) so hard over Bo Chen, Sean Tay, Alex Flores, Cheng Du (crow god), Foritis Wang, but there's also Paul Nong, Ley Bowen, Inhyuk Lee... and for storytelling art there's Kan Liu which art I love and Toni Infante and ooooh Astri Lohne's brushwork is amazing as well. Song Nan Li has a few artworks that I've stared at for days and would love to study someday. Jaz Chiang too. Krenz Cushart has a course that I want to purchase because those colors are sublime... and oh, I'm probably forgetting SO MANY right now but I could go on forever tbh. Lemme talk about artists and their art and I won't be able to stop. There have been many Instagram artists that I've followed but I'm not currently active on there until I graduate so I don't really remember but if you're looking for Twitter/SNS/Naruto specifically then you can look through my following-list or my reblog account here @re-tamelee. Nsfw-warning on Twitter (@ tam_e_lee) though. I think currently a few that inspire me regarding story/expression are helenpeanut, velinxi, Kishimoto, Ramón Nuñez, Moryo, Ryo Yambe, Rias Coast, Yusuke Matsumoto, Bengal, Hong Soonsang, Horikoshi- and still a few others... I'm not sure what you mean by 'low-key' or if this is not what you're looking for but I hope you can find some inspiration from this post and have fun looking at these amazing artists' art! ^^ Thankyou for your lovely ask, have a nice day 🌷 Happy drawing!

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts days 22, 23

From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven’t written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. And then somehow it turned into “I’m going to write a single interconnected story utilizing all of these prompts” which ?????, what can I say, I am incredibly foolish and there's no limit to my capacity for self-deceit. Anyway, the first draft is finished (at around 88k words) and I'll be unlocking posts here on tumblr as I edit.

read from the beginning here

Day 21 here

***

28. "Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now."

121. "I'd fuck you right here, right now, if I could."

***

Steph wasn't wrong. Tim really, really hated to apologize. Not because he saw it as losing face, or anything like that. It was because then he had to admit he fucked up, which might possibly mean he was a piece of shit. It just seemed like at some point he should be able to be the type of person who only caused harm because he meant to, and not because he hadn't slept in too long, like a cranky toddler.

But he was also not a chickenshit, so he suited up at home and left through one of the two concealed exits in the basement level as soon as he knew Damian would be on patrol. (And three nights in a row was a lot—he made a mental note to check the patrol rotation again when he returned home, because Tim wasn't the only one who needed sleep.)

He found Damian sitting on top of one of a huge stack of containers at the harbor, overlooking the ships being offloaded. Without trying to make the process soundless, Tim landed on the opposite end of the container. Damian's shoulders stiffened, but he didn't bother turning around.

Tim bit the inside of his lip, considering. He hadn't been able to work out the most appropriate method to begin this conversation despite all his brainstorming on the way over, so he'd finally decided he would just wing it. But now that the reality was staring him in the face—or determinedly giving him its back—he found himself nearly speechless.

Which was unacceptable. Right. When in doubt, dive in, and fix it later if it goes tits-up. (The part of his brain that offered constant commentary on his own thoughts gave the notion a hazy attribution to John Constantine, who was hardly a stellar example, but the principle was sound.)

Accordingly, he opted for the straightforward route. "I've come to apologize."

Damian gave a derisive tt but made no other acknowledgement.

"Would you mind taking your comm out for just a second? I'd prefer this not be accidentally shared with the entire crew."

He could tell Damian struggled with the concession, too angry to want to give an inch, but in the end discretion won out. He plucked the comm from his ear but kept his back turned. "Despite whatever Brown's inevitable gossipy meddling may have led you to believe, I do not require an apology."

Tim took a deep breath and paced a little closer, still keeping a prudent six feet between them. "I'm not here because of anything Steph said. I'm here because I fucked up and I need to make it right."

Damian snorted in contempt. "I assure you, there is no need. For me to accept such a thing would indicate you inflicted some sort of injury upon me. Which would imply you somehow developed skill and significance enough for that to occur. Which in turn is nonsense."

"Believe me, I'm well aware," Tim replied, and couldn't keep his tone from going dry as the desert. Damian's hands gave an inexplicable twitch at the words. "But be that as it may, we are still on the same team, and yesterday I acted like you were the enemy for no good reason. Yeah, you overstepped. But it was out of concern for my well-being and the safety of the family, so I should've been more understanding." He drummed one fist against his thigh, waiting for a response, but when none was forthcoming, braced himself and gave one more offering of vulnerability. "I was maybe still a little off-kilter from the dream. That one—ever since Insomnia fucked with my head, I've had the nightmare he gave me recur sometimes. Where it's not just Boomerang and my dad who die. It's most of us too. Except me. So I was definitely not at my best." A long pause, and still no sound. "I'm just gonna keep talking until you shut me up, but I'm pretty sure you're going to have to face me to do that, so . . ."

Damian's shoulders lowered the slightest bit. "Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now, and at least three of them don't involve turning around." He did give a quarter-turn, though. He wasn't looking at Tim, but his body was angled so Tim could at least see his profile. "They do mostly involve some sort of bloodshed, however."

"What a surprise. Not that I'm saying I don't deserve it." Tim dared to come within arm's reach. "I really am sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry and I said a lot of shit I didn't mean." He had turned off the white-outs on his domino, but Damian's were still firmly in place, so Tim couldn't tell which way he was looking. His ear was tilted toward Tim and he was clearly listening, and that would have to be enough to keep going. "You were right. I was being a baby."

Damian's chin dipped, and he angled his face away again. "Perhaps you were correct about some things as well. I regret not bringing up the issue with you instead of Father. And . . . other actions." Color crept up his cheeks.

Tim drew close enough to feel Damian's body heat radiating against what little skin he had exposed. A sudden sensory memory assailed him: leaning his face into the crook of Damian's neck, pressed together in a line from chest to dick. A wave of remembered arousal washed through him and left him aching with its recession. "If I made you regret we fucked, I'm ten times as sorry. You shouldn't have your memory of that ruined by me having been a jerk later."

Damian shrugged, a quick jerky motion entirely at odds with his usual grace. "I cannot argue with the final accusation you leveled at me."

Tim's mouth twisted as regret carved a hole in his chest. "Yes you can. You should. Don't agree with Temper-Tantruming Tim. He's an asshole and he only tells the worst part of the truth. I don't regret fucking you, Dami. I'm flattered you asked me. I'd do it again in a heartbeat." Damian leaned toward him at the confession, every muscle betraying how badly he wanted to hear it. Tim suppressed a smile. He should have known praise would be his way in. "I'd fuck you right here, right now, if I could."

He reached out a cautious hand and grasped Damian's gauntleted fingers. Damian heaved a sigh of his own but didn't pull away. "I suppose you're aware that you could."

Tim couldn't stop himself from laughing aloud at that. "Fuck you right here? Yeah, if I want Oracle to take video and give notes on my performance." He reached up to tap the tiny depression on his domino that cleared Damian's white-outs.

Damian met his gaze straightforwardly, but it clearly cost him some effort. "Then perhaps you should do it where she can't see."

Tim pretended to consider, but it was a done deal as far as his dick was concerned. "You think so?" At Damian's firm nod, he grinned. "Better head back to my place after we're done, then."

Movement down at the harbor caught his eye. A group of men were creeping toward a particular container, hiding behind others as they went. "Hey, there's something going on. Wanna take a closer look together?"

"Naturally. I have not been standing here for my health. Let's go."

But before they did, Damian brought Tim's knuckles to his mouth, and Tim could've sworn he felt the burn of the kiss even through the Kevlar that separated their skin.

days twenty-four, twenty-five, and twenty-six here

[writer-and-artist27]

11 Questions Writer Ask Game

Got tagged by @windwardstar.

(ｏ＿　＿)ｏ Thankie, Osie. Beloved friend. I'll do my best.

Rules: Answer the 11 questions of the person who tagged you, make up 11 questions, then tag 11 people to answer them.

1. How is your writing going right now?

Right now, I feel like I'm in a funk. I'm able to write things if it's to help others, but when it comes to my own writing for myself, it's mostly... well, dead at the moment. I think it's from the recent family death that my writing's slowed down. I want to hope the unconscious grief can pass.

2. Give me a song that gives you vibes for your wip? (If too hard, just a song you've been listening to a lot lately. This is literally just me trying to get new music to listen to and your excuse to ramble about writing stuff.)

The Things You Mustn't Avert Your Gaze From and Hitorime no Tomodachi Ni, or in English, "My First Friend" for all my WIPs. Because they capture the soft feelings I try to write for in the first place, to illuminate the dark.

3. Do you have any headcanons for your wips that you can't/won't include for some reason? (If do, why?)

I... think I have a couple. And those are because of (1) lack of energy to write them, (2) they cover territory I have yet to experience in life, and (3) I'm honestly concerned I'd start crying if I write them because of how emotionally invested I get into writing in the first place for specific characters.

4. What's a scene/character/plot/thing you're excited to get to write in your wip?

When I do go back to S&S and CP and Naruto stuff? A lot of things post-Kannabi. Including Team Minato being kids. They deserve more time to have fun as kids.

For Fate/Passing Days stuff? Including some of the older memories I've had from playing the game, such as bonding with older Servants through Tumblr bond level stories again, or even when I Grailed specific Servants (looking at Shiki, Musashi, Skadi, Melt, and Astarte, especially). Even more character-driven, Bond 10 specific chapters when I have the energy for them.

5. Is there anything you have to make a specific pass in editing for?

By "pass", do you mean "excuse"/"look the other way"? Because if so, it's definitely repeating/filler words for me. I know I use a lot of "only," "sometimes," and the like in my first drafts, and when writing the first draft of a scene out from my head, I've been trying to forgive myself more in not having more detail-oriented words to get the thoughts out.

6. How many rounds of editing do you usually do?

1-2. Basically first one being while I write it or right after I finish the chapter. Second being if I allow myself to sleep on the doc and come back to it the next day. Or that second round is me actually reading the published version on AO3 to check for typos and the like.

7. Biggest challenge(s) with writing (in story or out of it)?

My main thing's really all out of writing for me: Just trying to find the right words to articulate what I see in my head. Because imagining any kind of scenes playing out like anime isn't always easy to write out. Fight scenes are the worst offender. Same thing with emotional stuff, at least to a smaller extent.

8. How do you utilize your non-writing writing time?

Reading manga/light novels, as well as rereading previous source material to keep the ideas fresh. I even make it a personal policy to take three books with me in my purse on my work days so I can read/refresh on my breaks.

9. How do you personally define a good or bad day of writing for yourself? / what does it take to feel like you've made decent progress?

A good day of writing for me is writing more than just a few words/sentences. A bad day would be if I'm unable to come up with anything and just sit there, staring at the same words and wondering how to continue.

10. Do you write in discrete units of time/schedule or is it just whenever you have time?

It's just when I have the time. Since I take the trolley to and back from work (which is about one hour and 20 min one way already), I've been trying to write more during those moments when I can.

11. What are your current wips? (+ short description if u want)

Civilian Pianist (CP) - Currently on idea hiatus, but wishing to go back.

The Sea and Stars (S&S) - Also on idea hiatus, because fight scenes.

Passing Days (Fate) - Ongoing, just slow updates (about once a month) due to energy and some things in FGO hitting worse than others. Some part of the fanbase is definitely a big factor. Had to let go of some friends and be civilly distant with others with how big and picky the fandom is. Can count on one-two hands the number of people I can share my ideas with without worrying about backlash or anything.

---------------------------

My questions:

What is one habit you picked up in your daily life because of writing?

What's your ideal writing space? (Desk? Out in nature? Just curious.)

What's the topic you've had to do the most research in to write?

What's a concept you liked at first when seeing it in consumed media, but found yourself not liking when trying to write it later on?

Have dreams inspired you before?

What's one piece of a positive review that someone gave you that actually stood out to you?

Any concepts you'd like to try your hand at in writing?

What's the easiest genre to write for?

How do you handle writer's block?

What's the word count on your longest story? How did that happen?

Who was your first writing inspiration? What about them (or it if said inspiration isn't a person) inspired you?

---------------------------

Tagging: @partialdignity, @abalisk, @teddog, and anyone else who'd like to try this? Only for fun, though.

o(_ _o)ノ☆ Now to bed with me because it's 10:02 pm when I post this.

[everybodyshusband]

oooo, a tag game !! :D thank you so much @devoured-by-shadows for tagging me <3

are you named after anyone?

nope ! i picked my name alllll by myself !!

when was the last time you cried?

uhm, this morning, actually (over a bluey episode of all things). i've never ever been a big crier, but this year's been a big one for tears so far :')

do you have kids?

definitely not, and i'd like to keep it that way, at least for now (and probably forever, haha ! kids scare me so much...)

do you use sarcasm a lot?

i think i do :) i definitely use it more often in person than i do online, purely because i struggle typing out sarcasm in a way that doesn't sound genuinely mean and nasty :(

what’s the first thing you notice about people?

to be honest, i have no idea !! i'm more of a stare at their shoes to avoid looking at them kind of person, so i don't really tend to notice anything specific about people apart from their shoes, but even then i don't really pay much attention, haha !

what’s your eye colour?

hazel, i believe

scary movies or happy endings?

i've never actually seen a proper horror movie, but i actually quite like movies with a sad and/or ambiguous endings, so i guess... neither ? but i think if i get the chance to watch a few scary movies i'd really enjoy them :)

any special talents?

i like to think i'm okay at writing :) apart from that i can play the piano and the viola, and i tend to be able to pick up the basics of most instruments i pick up !! (emphasis on basics)

where were you born?

the sunshine state baybeee (queensland, australia)

hobbies?

writing, when i can manage it ! and if avoiding practicing my instruments is a hobby then goodness me, i'm winning at my hobbies, haha :')

pets?

yes !! a cat called adi and a few silkie bantam chickens !!

what sports do you play/have played?

i played netball for most of my primary school years, then i dabbled in volleyball for about a year when i was... twelve or thirteen(?), and during that same year i raced HPV trikes (Human Powered Vehicle, not Human PapillomaVirus) but i haven’t played any sports since :0

how tall are you?

soooo incredibly tall. like, suuuuper duper tall (lying)

favourite subject in school?

i know i keep banging on about it in every ask game i've been doing, but i'm really loving the research subject i'm doing at the moment !! although, maybe that's just because i'm researching ghost... apart from that, i'm not very good at it, but i adore biology :)

dream job?

i'm not sure... i've had a lot of ideas for my future dream job over the years but as i've gotten older, i can't picture one that seems to make me jump for joy just yet !! the medical field has always interested me, so i may end up going down that route if i'm able to, but i suppose we'll see what the future brings <3

goodness this took me a horrendously long time to get around to properly answering, i'm so sorry, shadow !! it was yet another case of the "i'll put it in my drafts for safe-keeping, so i don't forget" and then i immediately forgot 😅 i'm not quite sure who's done this tag game and who hasn't at this point buuut i'll tag @cirrus-ghoulette and @spoiledleaff !! but if you come across this and want to give it a shot, consider yourself tagged :)

[dragbunart]

I've always wanted Fiadg to have some bee motifs because of their importance to Irish far lore, but until the recent Helluva Boss episode couldn't figure out how to do it. But using Beelzebub as a base for how you can mix bee and animal designs I was able to do it.

I've also been workshopping her character and backstory

Just me rambling about my Oc under the cut (So, If you don't like ocXcanon you don't have to read it)

Fiadh, or Fianait Shields was a Cambion (half-demon, Half-human) who was born and raised in Ireland. She belonged to a very secluded community that worshipped Fae, their main god being this Horned God. Spoiler, the Horned god is the Demon Furfur.

Fianait's mother and Furfur ended up spending a night together before her mother's wedding to another man. Because she looks so much like her mom, no one realized the man raising her wasn't her biological father.

Her mother ends up passing while she was very young, and her father didn't have time for her, especially during the summer when she was out of school. So she's sent to live with her Uncle in New Orleans while she's on break.

This is where she meets a young Alastor. They end up becoming very close friends.

They grow up together during the summers until Fianait's about 15, when she has a bunch of stuff for their religion she has to complete. This includes having to meet her arranged betrothed. Who is... A questionable choice in personality. Fianait was already pretty shy and quiet, being more of a wallflower than anything else, and her arranged marriage partner is... Abusive at best. He causes her to become even quieter and retreat even further into her shell, almost to the point of being mute.

She finds a minor escape by becoming an Army Nurse during the Great War (WW1), which delays her wedding. This is where she meets Alastor again, whose been drafted. Alastor had been shot in the leg, and it takes them a second to realize this person who just seems familiar is their childhood friend.

When Alastor sees she's gotten even more weary of the world and hears about her situation, he offers to marry her and take her back to America. He does this A) because he is genuinely worried about his friend, and B) He's always been a bit possessive (Can be seen as Platonic or Romantic) of Fianait.

The plan, (or so Alastor says) is for Fianait to marry him and live with him until she can get her citizenship and a job. Build a stable life for herself, then they can divorce and she doesn't have to worry about her family dragging her back to Ireland for her arranged marriage.

They spend the first few years pretty happy in their arrangement. They cook and eat together. Fianait helps the upkeep of Alastor's house, even after she gets a detective job for the police. And Alastor becomes a popular radio host... And a Serial killer.

Fianait's ex-fiance had tried to harass the couple into divorcing and sending her back, but after he went a little too far Alastor killed him. Between that, the war, and members of Fianait's family, who had also begun harassing him, he developed a taste for murder. And he keeps it fairly well hidden for a while.

But Fianait catches him... Mid kill, covered in blood. Alastor is frozen caught between killing her or figuring out some other way to keep his secrets. And Fianait... Just stares at the situation. As an officer, she should arrest him, or report him. But she loves him, and he saved her. And her loyalty to him outways her responsibility to her job. She helps him get rid of the evidence and ignores his crimes from then on.

This carries on more or less, for years until Alastor's death. Which was a complete accident. Alastor was killed by a confused hunter who mistook him for a deer. And Fianait losses her mind. Over time Alastor had made sure she was dependent on him, so she doesn't know how to function without him as her rock.

She continues his killings and pins them on his killer as an act of revenge. She then takes her own life using a mix of shrooms and opioids.

When she ends up in hell she meets her biological father, Furfur, but she has trouble connecting with him, despite his adoration of her. With most sinners going by a different name she lost hope that she'd ever find Alastor again.

This is when Bee shows up. Her energetic personality reminds Fiadh of her lost husband. So she latches onto Beezelbub as a lifeline. Bee realizes that Fiadh needs someone to lean on and becomes almost a mother to her. Encouraging her to enjoy herself in hell.

Fiadh comes out of her shell the tiniest bit, eventually singing in front of people at Bee's parties (mostly older songs or postmodern jukebox-type covers). When she's on stage she imitates her husband's old attitude, knowing his personality drew people to enjoy his performances. It's her way of keeping his memory alive in her.

She and Alastor meet again by accident in Cannibal Colony. Fiadh had been booked at Mimzy's club as an act. Alastor had been in the area and wanted to check on his friend and recognized his childhood friend-turned-wife's voice immediately. He meets her backstage and makes tiny comments about New Orleans or the 1920s to double-check she is who he thinks she is, and when this proves true... He calls her by a nickname only he used to call her.

The pair are very happy to be reunited and largely go back to how they interacted before Alastor's death. Fiadh splits her time between the ring of Gluttony, her father's place to learn her birthright, and Alastor's homes. For the first time in her existence, she's surrounded by so much love she can truly enjoy herself. She loves the life she made for herself.

[frigid-moon-fall]

Reaching out to the people doing scans was a great decision. You have no idea how long I spent staring at a listing for the Kratos novel last month, fighting myself because it's so freaking expensive compared to all the other novels... I could get like 10 novels for the same price... 40 if it's from a specific store during a campaign. And nobody seemed to care about the novels (hadn't seen the Phantasia ones being uploaded yet at the time), so who else was going to do it...!! Ended up deciding against it because it's Symphonia, the favorite child, and if anyone was going to give a crap about any of the Tales series novelizations, it'd be Symphonia's, and if they were going to care about any specific novel, it'd definitely be that one, so I might as well pour my blood love into the less popular entries. (And for once, I was right!)

That is to say, I have quite a few Tales novels on the way, and I will also be scanning them (though with a very ancient, borrowed scanner), and there shouldn't be any overlap with what Kevan33 is graciously doing. Here's hoping the box doesn't get lost in the mail :') Hasn't shipped yet, because I'm waiting on one more book to reach the warehouse, which I was only able to afford because I reached out. I would have wasted money getting a few novels that were already going to be scanned. (jfc this one book is also about the same price as the Kratos novel.... But I have a bit of a confusing Personal Investment in this particular one now that I'll share once it's in my hands.)

I wonder if I should try to contact the person going by Stahn's name on archive too? If I'd overlap with anyone, it'd probably be someone named for Destiny stuff. I mean, I guess it doesn't matter if I'd overlap with them since the novels are already bought and paid for and I couldn't get a refund even if I tried. And also they seem to only be uploading guidebooks. (Which are also super heckin' cool because they also have lore in them)

It'll be like 4 months before the box gets here, and it's not just the Destiny novels. So I guess I'll post a list of everything I'll be ripping/scanning just in case. I'd love it if more people did this stuff, so if there's anyone interested in buying stuff like this to continue to archive it (it's not like anyone who contributed to making them is making money off of them anymore. At least, I'm pretty sure they aren't), here's a list of stuff I've already got coming so you can cross it off your own list.

Tales of Destiny novels (tl;dr: ALL OF THEM):

ルーティのルール

青の記憶

天地戦争編

運命をつぐもの上巻

運命をつぐもの下巻

蒼黒の想い上巻

蒼黒の想い下巻

Tales of Destiny 2 novels (tl;dr: ALL OF THEM):

英雄を探す少女

二人の聖女

運命の果てに

蒼黒の追憶上巻

蒼黒の追憶中巻

蒼黒の追憶下巻

朱鷺色の風

Tales of Eternia novels (NOT all of them):

蒼天の星上巻

蒼天の星下巻

暁の約束上巻

暁の約束下巻

リッドのとかげ

キールの希望

(For those keeping track, that means what remains of Eternia is all 3 volumes of 永遠のきざはし, and 聖エルモの灯.)

Misc:

テイルズリング アーカイブ EPIC TWO ～英雄の飛翔～

テイルズオブカウントダウン DVD

テイルズ オブ シンフォニア 4コマミニミニ大図鑑

Do As Infinity - TAO (early demo)

(Note: The Countdown DVD has been partially uploaded and even partially subtitled before, but the full thing has not been uploaded before! I don't know if there's anything hiding on the Peach Gummy DVD (which has been uploaded before) too, but the cheapest way to get the Countdown DVD was in a bundle with that, so I guess I'll have that too. Also I didn't buy anything for the early demo, but I do have the mp3 sitting around from.. somewhere? I swear I got it from Abyssal Chronicles way back when Legendia was first unveiled, but I couldn't find it anywhere even on archived versions of the site. It's clearly an earlier draft of the song and the vocalist is also very clearly Tomiko Van. I couldn't find any mention of this thing anywhere, so am I sitting on Lost Media? Or would uploading it be pointless?)

Misc whose names I'm obscuring because I'm not actually sure if the artists are still making money off of them, give me advice pls

The DVD with the pachislot animation on it. I'm not sure if it's been uploaded in full (none of the few compilations say so), but it's probably never been uploaded in its full quality. I might upload just the video without the audio.

The artbook of the artist of the TODDC manga. I don't know if it's been uploaded in full before. (I found it for pretty cheap, or else I might not have bothered...) Actually, I'd rather someone else with a better scanner and a willingness to unbind it (I'm not unbinding any of these; my hands aren't steady enough) to scan this anyway, so maybe go for this one anyway if you're looking to get stuff scanned.

Also secured by someone else is Tales of Destiny 2's manga, Tales of Destiny Director's Cut's manga, and the French localization of Tales of Destiny's first manga. The first two are already scanned, plans to scan the last one, but I'm not sure if they want to upload them to archive. They are absolutely willing to give them to people who would want to translate them, though.