#I've just gone nuts. ignore me

[shiroselia]

Sometimes all you need to do for it to hit and sink in Just how genuinely fucking beyond redemption nuts you are is to joke about George R.R Martin with one of your friends and look up the wordcount for his novels and realise that you wrote an average A Song of Ice and Fire book in the span of 10 months and will probably finalize Potentially the equivalent of A Dance With Dragons in 1,5 year

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here... Just wanted to pop in and say what I think is going on bts. I don't know anything and I'm not in their lives so I can't say for sure any of this is going on. I do think that Luke and A are done. Again, I don't think that A went to Spain. I think it was Luke's way of getting away to start to hear his inner voice more. I'm a people pleaser and I'm also older than them not by much, but I'm still older. And one of the things that I've learned is that being a people pleaser you tend to not hear your own voice. Everybody's voice is louder than your own. So one of our lessons that we have to learn how to hear our own voice that does take self reflection and some alone time. It is a very hard lesson that Luke is learning and also the idea that you can't please everybody. That your voice matters just as much as there is do so he's going through a lot. He's going through a lot of inner work. I do think that Nic is helping him that's why we're silence from them both. I say that to explain why I definitely feel that Luke and Nick have been in talks. We know that something BTS has gone on with Luke's group. There's been a lot of silence and some weird movements on their end. so I do really feel that the JVN post that he did yesterday the one with Oprah and talking about friends that are jealous. I think that was for Luke's friends. And I know it sounds nuts. But Nicola is a type of person that has her friends back. She's told that to Luke already. But if she says something, it might make the problem worse. But Her friend can say it and they can't prove that it's directly towards them. Remember she is a smart woman. Now i know we all wanna see some type of action play out on SM. We wanna see them talking them or in a relationship. And I do feel like eventually we will get it. They're not gonna be able to be quiet forever. It's not possible. And I do feel like Luke and Nic will want to say it in their own way. One day they'll be out in the open and we will be able to see them as an actual couple. I know we've all waited forever. But we just gotta hang out a little bit more. And ignore the other characters.. And can I say one more thing I'm glad I'm glad JD spoke up for himself even if it's in a small way. It's hard to do no matter who you are. and thank you for allowing me to space to speak

No notes!

[lindamccartneysstrap]

hell0o. i dont know anything about the beatles but i just watched two of us on a whim and have become insane. fic recs please or just any content, news articles interviews idek. help me tumblr use paulmccartneyprostateorgasm

Sorry I haven't been ignoring this I've just been Thinking. The thing is that I've been into the beatles off and on since I was in middle school so it's hard for me to remember like. Beatles 101. But welcome to hell. Two of us is a cwazy intro to mclennon lol.

Ok so I guess the thing is really depends on how serious you wanna be with your idk beatles scholarship? Like at an absolute bare minimum I would skim some wikipedia articles so you know the major people/places/events/eras. There are a zillion beatles bios and docs most of them bad some of them vital. Unfortunately it haven't gone through any of those since I was a teenager so I can't really tell you which is which anymore. I'm sure plenty of other beatles blogs could provide resources if you want them.

Definitely watch get back and let it be. The movies the beatles were in as well but less essential I guess. Advanced Level McCartney Studies but watch give my regards to broad street it's a fascinating reflection of pauls psyche.

I'd look at blogs like @amoralto @thecoleopterawithana @undying-love for references. Probably more upper level stuff but all of pauls interviews are on the paul mccartney project website and I once went through and read all the interviews from the 80s. Full disclosure, the thing about mclennon that compels me the most is the tragedy of it all, so that's where I tend to fixate. But it was a fascinating experience because you can really see paul work through his regrets/grief/resentment/bitterness/pain about john in real time

A word of caution when reading interviews: both of these guys are incredibly untruthful at times. John, after the breakup in particular, could be very hot and cold, especially about paul so don't take everything he says at face value. Paul also lies a lot no matter what anybody tries to tell you he just gets away with it more because he's still alive and people feel bad calling him a liar

Songs. Their songs are very very important. I sometimes see people act like it's stupid to believe things based on the songs. To a point I get it art doesn't have to be literal yadda yadda. But you also gotta consider these guys communicated a Lot to each other through music from the time they were teenagers. Anyway I'd suggest listening to the songs for a more thorough understanding but just reading lyrics I guess is fine. I personally still like going through people's mclennon playlists and analyzing Why people think they're mclennon. Look at the lyrics, go to beatles bible and/or the paul mccartney project and learn about the context, etc.

Okay anyway on to fanfic. If this is your main concern just ignore all the above advice who cares. Also I'm a horrible resource because I always forget what I read. Um @forthlin @menlove @pauls1967moustache have good fics sorry I can never remember any of your ao3 names. Merseydreams (I think it is) has good fics. @crepesuzette2023 does a lot of fic recs I think. One thing that's always fun about beatles fics is when u think something is completely made up and you look it up and it's literally real like wtf. I'm also a bad reference because I'm heavily biased towards early days fics and post breakup fics.

Ok hope this helps even a little bit. Remember the most important rule is to have fun. People take this shit so seriously but it's literally the beatles. But please do fact check that always drives me nuts.

[griffintail2]

do u take requests? if so, i ask for angel dust with a teen fem reader who’s in a relatively similar situation as he’s in with valentino, except it’s with mammon, like fizzaroli from hb, plz!

I do take requests! Congrats you're the first on this blog! :D Now I've never watched Helluva, yet. I keep meaning to. So I kept the concept of Mammon and Fizzaroli's relationship that I learned from my friend who HAS watched Helluva and changed Mammon to a sinner I made up on the spot. Same context still! I hope you enjoy!! ♥

Everything to Me

Pairings: Angel Dust x Fem! Teen! Reader

Warnings: Implied Manipulation, Light Angst, Val mentioned, Mentions of Minor Injuries

----

The teenager had come into the hotel, slightly frazzled to begin with but with time, she was a bright and cheerful sinner.

Angel was the one to bring it out of her, taking the kid under his wing. He…saw signs he knew all too well. It was easy for him to connect with her because of that and when (Y/N) became more comfortable, he was so happy to see the real her. It always brightened his days when he came back to the hotel to see the teen smiling genuinely now.

And for a while, he thought she was fine! It seemed like the kid had been holing herself in the hotel to escape whatever situation she was in. That was the one thing he couldn’t get the kid to talk about. She refused to talk about before the hotel, or even most things she did when out of the hotel.

It made Angel nervous when she didn’t tell him about what she was doing when out, but she always came back bright and cheerful. So, he had hoped she’d gotten herself out of the situation that brought her here in the first place.

Then a Saturday night came around.

Angel, himself, crashed on the couch in the parlor after a long day at the studio. Val had discovered a few new things he had wanted to try today and Angel just needed five minutes. Five minutes to get his head together before he tried to interact with people…

“Angel,” Charlie said above him.

He let out a breath before he opened his eyes, his smile a bit tight as he looked at Charlie, but his brow furrowed seeing Charlie’s nervous look, Vaggie just as worried behind her.

“What’s up toots?”

“We…Well, I went to go get (Y/N) for redemption activities while you were gone and she wasn’t in her room.” He was quick to sit up at that. “And we tried to call and text her to see where she was but she didn’t answer either.”

“So, you don’t know where she is?!”

“No.” Vaggie shook her head.

“Fuck, why didn’t you call me?” Angel took his phone out, dialing (Y/N). She never ignored his calls, but it just rang with no answer. “Shit! I’m going out to find her.”

“Everyone else is already out looking, we were waiting for you and seeing if she came back,” Charlie told him as they rushed to the door.

Angel didn’t know where to start, but he was going to look over the Pride Ring if he had to. Hours and hours passed, and it drove him nuts and exhausted him, but there was no sign of the teen. He had to be dragged back to the hotel when he refused to stop.

As he went back to the hotel, he gripped tightly to his arms. He’d gone everywhere he could think that the kid would go, running for hours between each place and asking around. Hell! He’d ignored calls from Val so he could keep looking. Consequences be damned, he’d find his kid.

Even though he was being dragged back to rest, he was only getting thirty minutes before he rushed back out to find the teen.

With that plan in mind, when he walked into the hotel, his worry and determination blossomed into several other emotions as he saw (Y/N) making her way up the lobby stairs.

(Y/N) stopped hearing the door open, eyes tired as her hands were tucked into her hoodie pocket, letting out one word and nothing more. “Hey.”

The exhausted pornstar could now only feel one emotion.

“Where the fuck have you been?! You weren’t answering your fucking phone! You didn’t tell anyone where you went! We’ve been all over  Hell looking for your ass! And you’re just here!” Angel yelled as he came over to the teen.

“Angel-!” Charlie started.

“I just got back.” She muttered.

“You’ve been gone for a whole ass day! Without a single fucking word! What were you thinking?”

His brain slammed on the brakes when the teen teared up, looking at the ground.

“It’s-I—” She gripped the inside of her pocket. “I…I don’t know…I—”

She was fighting a sob.

Angel sighed deeply as he ran two of his hands through his hair.

“Look. We’re both exhausted.” Angel said. “We’ll talk about it later. Just…go sleep and we’ll talk.”

She nodded before rushing upstairs. Angel took a deep breath as Charlie put a hand on one of his arms.

“At least she’s here.” Charlie tried to look on the bright side.

“Yeah...” Angel mumbled. “I’m going to get some sleep.”

As exhausted as the spider sinner was, he lay in bed, eyes open as he stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t get the look of pain on (Y/N)’s face out of his mind. The more he thought about his regret for shouting, he realized how devasted the kid looked before he started yelling. Groaning into his hands, he got up and went to her room.

When he got to the door, his chest was tight when he heard sobbing inside. Taking a breath, he knocked as he opened the door slowly.

“Hey, kid.”

(Y/N) let out a shaky gasp she looked up at him as he came in, Angel freezing in the door seeing her with her hoodie off and able to fully see the bruises and scars and fresh injuries on her arms. He stepped in completely, closing the door, keeping his anger in check for whoever did this.

“Who did this?” Angel asked carefully.

“I um—I—” (Y/N) pulled her knees close to her chest, tears falling faster before she let out a shaky breath knowing there was no use lying. “T-The gang on the E-East end.”

“Why the fuck did they attack you?” Angel bristled, struggling to keep his anger in.

“…….Because I attacked them first.” She muttered.

Angel faltered at that, trying to make sense of why the honestly sweet teen attacked a gang.

“Why? What?” He looked at her confused as he went over to the bed.

She looked away, gripping onto the fabric of her pants, silent tears falling.

“Kid.” Angel sat next to her, gently putting a hand on her arm. “You can talk to me. I have no room to judge anyone.” He joked lightly, making the teen glance over at him. “I’m here for you. Just tell me what’s going on toots.”

She watched him before looking at the wall across the room. “I um…I-I was nobody in life…No one looked at me. No one saw me…Then I died and…it was happening all over again! There was no one…”

He gently rubbed her arm in comfort, frowning slightly when the teen gave a tiny, strained smile.

“Then Felix saw me. He saw me when I used my powers.”

Angel knew vaguely of (Y/N)’s powers. She was able to manipulate the ground, and even pull up part of it to use as weapons. It was pretty good shit when she was focused.

“He has such big plans! And he asked me to join him. Me. He wants to become an Overlord. And with my help, he can. He promises, he promises. When he does, I’ll be at his side and everyone will see me. I won’t be a nobody. I’ll be somebody.”

Her smile disappeared as she stared down at the bed with furrowed brows.

“We um…weget put in a lot of fights for the plans. He needs the territory to take over…This last one…I fucked up. I lost the fight and…He’s not happy with me right now and I…” She let out a quiet sob. “He got so angry with me and then you were angry and I—God I’m such a fuck up!”

She was startled as Angel took her shoulders with one set of arms and her hands with the other. Looking up at Angel, she could see a small fire in his eyes, anger that Angel knew was for this Felix brat. But, the rest of the look was calm and gentle for the teen he’d taken under his wing.

“Kid. I need you to listen to me carefully, alright?” Angel told her and she nodded slowly as Angel’s two other arms appeared, wiping away her tears. “You’re NOT a nobody. You’re somebody. You’re somebody to me, to Charlie, to Husk, to everyone in this hotel. And if anyone else thinks different, they don’t fucking matter. They ain’t worth your time. And this Felix cat, he’s the nobody. If he can’t make it without you, that should tell you how amazing you are and how shit he is. You understand me?”

Fresh tears rolled down (Y/N)’s cheeks, and Angel wiped them away immediately.

“B-But, what—”

“No what’s. Do you get me, kid?”

It took a moment but (Y/N) nodded before moving out of Angel’s hold to hug him instead. Angel held onto her tightly, sighing softly as he rubbed her back.

“You’re everything to me, kid. Don’t ever forget that.”

[flameswallower]

after one month of this:

i'm finally starting to experience hunger in a way that seems pretty "normal" (feeling like you need to eat starting about three to five hours after last eating, with the feeling starting small/gentle/easy to ignore and gradually getting more intense; wanting to eat something shortly after waking up) provided i ingest an amount of weed each day that i think would have most people nonverbal and glued to the floor. this is nice, and i'll see if i can get the pattern to hold even if i'm (significantly more) sober.

it turns out my weight fluctations/body size fluctuations are insane whenever my digestive issues are acting up. like 10 pounds down and then up inside of a week. i guess it is always like that, but i just don't normally pay attention! to be honest, the weed also seems to prevent severe digestive issues (strange!).

generally, i'd say i remain more energetic even as the winter cold and lack of light begin to set in. i find myself taking long walks just because i want to, which is usually more of a summertime thing for me. my joints still get sore, but not as bad. i think my mood/ability to calm down from being cranky or upset is much improved, too. and my skin feels really soft and smooth for some reason, and my hair seems a little thicker?

i've gone from looking skinny to looking skinny with a little beer belly, which is very fun to touch/mess with. it's not much (i doubt anyone would see any difference at all looking at me with clothes on) but i haven't had it in a few years and i forgot how it felt! so squishy but dense, like there's a bunch of gel injected under my skin. the only problem with this being the first place i show weight gain is that it means any high waisted pants are early casualties. i'd like to/hope to get a lot more arm/leg muscle as well, but while i'm a fairly active person, i'm too lazy and fragile to do intense muscle-building workouts. we'll see how that pans out, i guess.

i enjoy eating raw nuts; i love avocados; i still just don't like bananas at all!!! why can't bananas taste good or have a good texture

i also like ice cream lol

[lucagray813]

Shadow - Chapter 6

Title: Party Time

Rating: T

Word Count: ~10,000

Characters: Wukong, Macaque

Minor Characters: MK, DBK, PIF

Relationships: Macaque/Wukong

Minor Relationships: Wukong & MK, DBK/PIF

Summary: Old man Monkey King is not the life of the party that he used to be but a couple of drinks with some friends sounds just his speed. Turns out he's an exceptionally clingy drunk though.

Additional Tags: Developing Relationship, Acquired Disability, Slice of Life, DBK is called Niú, PIF is called Gōngzhǔ

CW: Anxiety, alcohol, drunken shenanigans, suggestive themes, brief mentions of sex, mentions of pee (not related to the mentions of sex 😅)

Link to AO3 Version

Chapter Navigation: First | Prev | Next

----

It wasn't often that MK visited the island anymore - maybe once a month, if that. But that was fine - he was a busy guy! Wukong didn't expect him to drop everything just to come say hi. He always kept in touch though - Mei still made sure to keep immaculate digital records of his many endeavours, heroic or otherwise - and MK always sent him on any particularly interesting or funny pictures or videos.

He messaged him just about every week, and called every once in a while, so it's not like he was a stranger but Wukong couldn't deny he had been near vibrating with excitement since MK had asked to come spend some one-on-one time with him on the island. Nobody else - just the two of them, like old times.

With Macaque around Wukong wasn't allowed to just live like a slob, although he would vehemently argue he'd never been that messy to begin with, but he did tend to be a lot more lax with appearances when it was just the two of them on the island. But with MK coming he broke out his formal Monkey King attire, made sure his glamours were in place, and that the house was spotless, ignoring Macaque's teasing all the while.

While there was certainly a thing or two that Wukong would always be able to teach MK, he really was his mentor in name only these days. They would definitely spar but it would be a friendly match rather than a training exercise. After that they would probably just explore the island and eat fruit as MK updated him on his life in person.

And he was right, everything had gone exactly as he'd hoped - MK gave him a real run for his money showing him what he was capable of, they then had some fun with a load of the monkeys who all wanted to say hello, and finally they had managed to shake off all of them to take a tour of the island while they chatted.

It had been a near perfect day and Wukong wasn't sure he'd been totally successful at hiding how giddy he was to have MK here. It ended with them both high up on Flower Fruit Mountain watching the sunset and that was when things took an unexpected turn.

MK looked a little guilty as he suddenly said, "Hey, so I've got something to confess."

Somewhat wary, he had responded, "What is it, bud?"

"I, er, sort of had an ulterior motive for asking to see you today. It's nothing bad! I promise! I just have sort of a big favour to ask."

While somewhat put out that MK hadn't just come here to hang out he couldn't deny that he was happy there were still things that he could apparently do to help him, "Sure. Lay it on me."

"Ok, so it's been a really nuts year, right? We had that big fight with the Capra Demon, we had that huge international team up to take down the Parasol Corporation, Sandy became a dad! Like, so much has happened! We met so many people, made so many friends that have helped us out and a few of us were thinking that we've earned ourselves the right to get together, cut loose and celebrate our successes!"

Oh, they absolutely had. MK had a list of achievements almost as long as his list of allies - he'd been part of some insane hero business just these past few months alone and he'd teamed up with some incredible people to come out on top. Wukong couldn't be prouder of him.

He grinned, "So, you're throwing a party?"

Now, he knew he wasn't the most sociable person in the world but for MK he'd happily put in an appearance just about anywhere. Hardly what he'd even call a favour.

MK oddly still looked a little nervous, but his response was enthusiastic, "We're throwing a party!"

"Good on you, kid. You deserve it. You just tell me where and when and I'll be there."

"Ah, well, you see, that's where this teeny, tiny favour I have comes in. So there's a lot of people to invite, right? From all over the world and, er, well, we were sort of hoping we could maybe have it here...?"

He felt himself pale slightly, "Here...?"

MK rallied, "Yeah! Not only is it big enough to accommodate everyone but it's neutral ground! Er, it be the case that maybe one or two of our friends have some complicated, long standing issues with each other's families and..." he coughed and quietly muttered, "the law." Before loudly continuing, "That would cross off a lot of potential locations and anyone else with this much space have some really strict rules and etiquette we'd have to follow so that strikes out Mei and Red Son's homes."

Oh no.

"And! And! Obviously, the island is amazing! The weather is amazing, the sights are incredible, and the food is to die for! Everyone would love to come here! For most of them it would be, like, a once in a lifetime event! How many people can say they've been to the Flower Fruit Mountain? Everyone's super excited about it!"

Oh no.

"I mean, obviously, I haven't told everyone it's a go! But once it got suggested everyone was really excited for it so I said I would ask you! We've started thinking about it though - we figured we could have a beach party and anyone that wants to stay the night can camp down there! And I know access to the cave for people you don't know is a no-go so don't worry about that. We wouldn't want to mess up your place anyway. Not that we won't tidy up after ourselves but, uh, yeah! So what do you think?"

His face was so hopeful and Wukong did his best to try and shake off the dread that was creeping up his spine, "That, er, sounds great! Couple quick questions though - how many people are we talking here?"

MK only looked more hopeful at the lack of an immediate no and excitedly explained, "A hundred? A hundred and fifty? Two hundred at absolutely max! You and Mac can obviously invite people too! We figured you might want to invite DBK, PIF and the Tailor Trio as well! And maybe Bǎi Hé if she's allowed!"

He did his best not to let his discomfort show, "How thoughtful... That's a lot of people though. That's the kind of event you need someone running..."

Immediately MK declared, "Don't you worry, all we need is your permission and we'll handle everything from catering to accommodation! You won't need to lift a finger before, during or after! And, of course, we'll be super considerate of the monkeys and the rest of the wildlife! You know I wouldn't ever let any harm come to the island!"

Wukong didn't doubt that but the very idea of the island having one stranger on it, let alone hundreds was enough to make him feel queasy. And while he was weak in the face of MK's hopeful pleading, he still couldn't bring himself to just outright say yes.

"It all sounds great, bud! Really great! And trust me if it was just me, it would be a definite yes! But, unfortunately it's not! And I don't think this is going to fly with Macaque."

MK's wide grin at his initial positivity fell to a confused frown, "Really? How come?"

"Well, there's a few reasons but first and foremost he's super protective of the island!"

MK perked up, "That's why we're going to have a full proof plan to make sure no harm comes to it! Red Son was even talking about cordoning off the area of the beach we use with seals! Which I hear you're all about these days! You and Mac can check them over to make sure you're happy with them!"

Shit.

"That's some good thinking! But that's only half the problem. You see, Macaque isn't really a people person, or a party person for that matter - even if you could convince him nothing will go wrong he might just say no anyway because he's a big grump."

Macaque was going to kill him. He was surprised that shadows weren't already trying to skewer him for trying to make him the scapegoat.

MK looked at him doubtfully, "Macaque? We're talking about the same guy, right? Didn't he help PIF with that fancy ball or whatever a couple months back?"

Macaque had in fact helped Gōngzhǔ plan and host a rather formal dinner, reminiscent of the networking and displays of prestige from days of old, a little while back. He'd had a lot of fun with it as well - mostly because he was basically there to unsettle anyone Gōngzhǔ and Niú didn't like - but that sort of thing was all theatrics and performance and Macaque loved it.

Either way it did fly in the face of his assertion that Macaque didn't do people or parties. And he couldn't help but silently curse him for it. That was probably why he hadn't intervened yet - he was just watching Wukong struggle before he crashed and burned.

"Well, I mean, I somehow doubt you're throwing the same type of party, that's definitely a factor... But either way that happened far from home. It's different when it's on your turf. Look, I probably shouldn't say this but... this is his safe place, y'know? This is where he can let his guard down and not have to worry about something going wrong. Having strangers here, especially that many... I think it would just really stress him out."

MK scratched at the back of his neck, looking unsure, "I never really thought about it like that. I guess that makes sense? And I don't want to stress him out for no good reason..."

Instead of feeling victorious, MK's obvious disappointment was making him feel like a total heel. But god did he not want this party to happen. Torn, he tried to tackle the immediate problem of a glum MK.

He threw an arm over his shoulder, "Hey, don't look so blue. Let me talk to him about it. Maybe I'm being a little too overprotective here - I just don't want him playing tough guy about it is all. But maybe he'll be less worried about it than I think he will."

MK perked up slightly, "Is he on the island just now? Why don't we call him? We can talk through any worries he has together and then I can take them back to the drawing board." He stepped away from Wukong, hands coming up to cup around his mouth to do just that and panicked Wukong all but tackled him.

Hanging off his shoulders he quickly made up an excuse, "No, no, no! He's, er, ah! He's in a super bad mood today! Didn't sleep well last night, y'know? Just leave it to me. I'll talk to him about it."

MK looked sympathetic and easily accepted his excuse with a, "Oh, ok..." But never one to stay down for long he declared with determination, "In the meantime, I'll put together exactly what we have planned for him to look at! Tell him that we'll think of everything! We'll do whatever it takes to get him on board!"

Wukong patted his shoulder, "Good plan, MK! And... thanks. That means a lot. To both of us."

MK smiled at him briefly before a somewhat guilty expression came over him, "Man, I can't believe I didn't think to ask Macaque. I was so worried about getting you to say yes, I didn't even think about him... I really thought you'd be the one needing convincing."

He tried to scoff, "Pfft. Me? I'm the life of the party! And I can't wait to meet some of these new friends of yours that you've been raving about!"

He was laying it on a little thick but it seemed to reassure MK and the kid launched into a detailed list of all the people he thought Wukong would get on great with. He just did his best to smile and nod.

----

He was avoiding going home. After he'd bid MK a strained yet cheerful goodbye he had waited for the other shoe to drop but so far it hadn't come. It'd gotten to the point he was starting to believe that Macaque must have decided to take a trip off the island and hadn't heard his cowardly attempt to pass the buck.

He wasn't sure if that was better or worse. It had to be better, right? God, he hoped so.

So, tentatively he made his way home, taking as many scenic detours as was possible, until eventually even the monkeys were questioning his odd behaviour. And to be fair, circling the peach tree outside the house over and over again was pretty out of character behaviour.

If Macaque was sitting in the house waiting for him, there was no way he wasn't aware of what Wukong was up to. He forced himself to stop and take a breath. What was he even doing? What did he think was going to happen that he, Sun Wukong, couldn't handle?

He didn't let himself consider all the ways Macaque could make his life miserable. Instead all he allowed himself to focus on was marching up the stairs and through the front door - thinking about it was only going to give him time to stress about it. Better to face the music and get it over with.

He was stopped short however when he entered the house to find a small army of monkeys staring straight at him. Those closest to where Macaque was sitting on the couch were tugging on his clothes and fur and pointing at Wukong while chirping worriedly. Macaque did not look amused.

Wukong scowled at the monkeys as their concerns reached his ears, "I wasn't acting that weird. Really? Your first thought was that I was possessed? Wh-? No, I'm not drunk! Or sick! I was just thinking! People go for walks and pace when they think! They do!"

Not a single monkey believed him, none more so than the demon in the middle of them all. Wukong tried to shoo them away, "Look, all of you get out of here. I need to talk to Macaque and we don't need an audience!"

They simply parted around him, not at all moved by the direct order from their king. In fact, many of the little traitors were looking to Macaque for instruction. Who thankfully was merciful enough to do just that, "He's fine, he's just an idiot. Don't worry, I'll set him straight and then you can have a go at him."

Rude but unfortunately not a hundred percent uncalled for this time. The monkeys however did make their way out of the house via the windows, a handful of them sending reproachful chirps his way as they did so. He glared after them but he was quickly cowed when he turned to see Macaque with his arms crossed, looking at him expectantly.

Oh boy.

Not quite able to hide his nerves, he asked, "So... How much did you hear?"

The responding glare said it all. Sheepishly he asked, "Is there anyway I could convince you to take the fall for this? Whatever you want for being the reason this party doesn't happen, it's yours."

A very dangerous offer to make but there was the tiniest part of him that still held on to the impossible hope that he could get out of this somehow and he was willing to go all in.

"How about you start by telling me all about these issues that I have first?"

He tried not to fidget, "Do we have to?"

"How else would I convince MK if I don't know why I'm against it?"

Foolishly optimistic, he stepped forward, "Wait. Are you being serious? You'd seriously take the wrap for this one?"

"That remains to be seen. Get talking."

The rational part of him screamed that he was being lured into a false sense of security but everything else was ready to grab this opportunity with both hands. Or it was until he realised what exactly he was going to have to talk about.

Hesitantly he offered, "Ah, well, y'know, it's just... it's been a long time since we've had so many people on the island. Apart from MK and a handful of his friends it's got to have been, like, six hundred years? And he's talking about inviting hundreds of people. You, er, don't feel any sort of way about that?"

"I can imagine I'd feel more about it if I had deliberately isolated myself here for that length of time."

He cringed slightly but he pushed on, "Yeah, ok, harsh but sort of fair. But you feel something about it anyway, right?"

Macaque shrugged, "I have mixed feelings - any concerns I may have can be addressed through the planning process."

He latched on to that, "But you do have concerns! See! We're in agreement then! This is a bad idea!"

Really he should count himself lucky Macaque didn't lunge at him right then and there but his eyes told him that it had been a near thing. With a great deal of effort Macaque seemed to repress the urge to kill him and through gritted teeth asked, "Enlighten me on your concerns."

Not quite ready to delve into feelings, he started with the facts, "The island is a sanctuary - we can't just have anyone coming here! I know MK says they plan to keep it all to the beach but who's to say there won't be someone who wants to take a peek that will sneak around any borders!"

"And what? Even if they head further into the island, they'll never get into the cave. Your precious hoarding vault is safe."

"That's not what I'm worried about! You don't remember the issues with invasive species? It only takes one person to track mud from wherever they're from to seriously compromise our ecosystem! It took years to get on top of that banana weevil infestation! And don't get me started on the ticks! And that's just the unintentional damage they could do!"

He hadn't been too concerned about the actual island but now that he had started thinking about it the risks just continued to mount up, "What if one of MK's so-called friends is actually just someone who's using him to get to me! They could do terrible things to the island - try and poison the water supply, bring in some sort of disease, lay traps for the monkeys... The monkeys! What if they're poachers? What if they want a rare monkey pelt to add to their collection? Do you know how valuable they are?"

Macaque snapped, "I do know. I know it better than you ever will."

Wukong wavered. Poachers had been a problem ever since the world had been made aware of their little paradise but very few had been willing to risk the Monkey King's wrath. That had all changed when he had been sealed away however and he knew Macaque had had a hell of a time trying to keep their home safe.

The island was huge and while Macaque's abilities were impressive he couldn't be everywhere at once, couldn't know what was happening on every square inch of it or keep track of every monkey. It was, understandably, a touchy subject.

His voice softened, "I know you do. I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I just want to keep our home safe. Opening the island up to the world, inviting people in... It was one of the worst mistakes I ever made."

And that was without even mentioning the wars and politics it brought with it. The hardships just being known brought the island and it's denizens was something he'd never forgive himself for and he'd spent centuries trying to make amends and restore balance.

Macaque sighed heavily and gestured for him to take his seat on the couch. Taking this as a sign he wasn't quite as mad anymore he did so as Macaque responded, "Wukong, we can assess any risk to the island and put protective measures in place. That's an easy stipulation to put to MK - he doesn't want anything bad happening either."

He looked down, "You can't plan for every single eventuality and in my experience if something can go wrong, it will."

"God, when did you become such a pessimist? No, we can't plan for everything but we can still take steps to ensure everything goes smoothly and we'll both be there on top of it all - we can keep an eye out for trouble. Two hundred people is well within my capacity to keep track of - as soon as someone wanders somewhere they shouldn't I can portal them straight back."

He frowned, "You shouldn't have to work security detail. You should be having fun."

"As if I wouldn't be keeping an ear out for trouble anyway but regardless I'm not going to be having fun if you're not."

Man, he didn't want to get in the way of everyone having a good time but he couldn't see himself enjoying this party and he might be able to convincingly fool MK and his guests but he wouldn't be able to fool Macaque.

The crux of the issue was, as ever, the Monkey King.

Once upon a time it had been a name he'd proudly called himself, a title fitting of his prestige and power, a role that he fully embodied. There was no pretense, it had never been a persona or an act - he had been the Monkey King through and through.

But that couldn't be further from the truth now and his feelings on it were conflicting and complicated to say the least.

These days he was Sun Wukong and most of the time that was who he wanted to be. Just a one of a kind stone monkey that kicked back on Flower Fruit Mountain with an equally one of a kind shadow monkey - it was by and large a peaceful existence and that was how he liked it.

He couldn't say he never dreamt of reliving his heydays as a legend, as a hero or as a king but they were nothing more than flights of fancy, just idle thoughts on a slow day.

Here, on the island, he was not the Monkey King. With the rare exception, of when MK or his friends were here, then he almost couldn't stop himself from falling back into the role. In some way, he did it because it was expected of him - that's who he was to them and to anyone beyond this island.

But it also just felt... safer to be the Monkey King. Which was laughable seeing as being the Monkey King had only brought him trouble but he embodied everything others believed him to be - fearless, confident, charming, untouchable...

He didn't hate being him, by all rights he loved being him but it wasn't the real him. Not anymore. And to put on the metaphorical crown for any length of time wore on him. He could do it but to put on the performance on the island to a crowd of hundreds? He could feel his stage fright start to fester at just the thought.

It was crazy to think he really had once been the life of the party - he'd flourished in the lively atmosphere, soaked up all the attention, overindulged in food and drink. It was crazier still that Macaque was now the one trying to convince him that a party would be a good idea. He used to hate the excess of obnoxious behaviour and noise.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been a party literally anywhere else where he could just leave once he'd reached his limit. He could almost muster up some excitement at the thought of a little shindig at Niú and Gōngzhǔ's place with Macaque.

But a big party here consisting of all of MK's friends, most of whom he'd never met and who no doubt had plenty of expectations for the Great Sage Equal to Heaven? It sounded like hell.

Instead of saying this all out loud however he weakly asked, "You think MK would notice if we just sent clones in our place?"

Macaque regarded him for a moment, before genuinely telling him, "If you really don't want this party to happen we can just tell MK no. I'll even be nice and let you say it was a joint decision."

He groaned, "But he was so excited. I don't want to let him down. He never asks me for anything and this is nothing in the grand scheme of things."

He was being dramatic, what was one night of being a little stressed in the face of seeing MK so happy? The kid deserved to have a good time after all his hard work and he wasn't asking for much.

He continued, "You're right we can work through any security concerns and then anything else... It's only one night. Nothing I can't handle."

"Or, alternative option, we just ask MK to scale it down and only invite people he knows well. I'm willing to bet half those numbers were plus ones and at least a quarter were people he's worked with but never properly spent time with outside of hero business. A lot less to worry about if it's a party of, say, twenty rather than two hundred."

He really didn't want to compromise but he couldn't deny how much better that sounded but still that wasn't what MK wanted. Before he could argue however Macaque continued, a plan clearly coming together in his mind, "I bet we could almost skip the party altogether if we play out cards right. Picture this, when everyone gets here we give them a tour of the island and then drop them off at their party spot. We've put in an appearance and everyone gets to say they had a tour of Flower Fruit Mountain and met the Monkey King himself. Win-win."

Wukong tried to interject but Macaque just steam rolled ahead, "And hey, why not use this as an excuse to have a little party of our own? Invite Niú, Gōngzhǔ and maybe even the Tailor Trio for some drinks in the cave to distract you from what's happening on the beach."

That... actually sounded like it might be pretty nice and they should definitely do that sometime when it wouldn't deliberately clash with MK's plans, "We can have them around for drinks any time. We should do this for MK."

Macaque sounded annoyed as he responded, "You're the one that didn't want this party to go ahead at all. Why are you suddenly playing martyr?"

"I'm not playing martyr. I was just being dumb - I should have just said yes when MK asked."

Macaque made an aggravated noise as he kicked him none too gently, "Why are you like this? It doesn't have to be one extreme or the other. We can compromise."

"We don't need to compromise! I've got this!"

"Well, I don't! If you want to do this then you're on your own!"

He felt himself pale, "Wait. What do you mean on my own?"

"I mean, I'll fuck off to Niú and Gōngzhǔ's and you can go to this party by yourself."

"What? Why?"

Macaque had to be here with him, he needed him to be here. He needed is ears and shadows to reassure him the island was safe. He needed to have him here to have his back.

"I'm not going to sit and suffer through something if I don't have to."

How had this argument gotten turned around?

"Sit and suffer? You'll have a great time! It's me that'll be suffering!"

"You really think I want hundreds of obnoxious strangers in our home? And to have to socialise with any of them?"

"What are you saying? Before you were all for this and now I'm agreeing with you suddenly have an issue?"

"I know you're not this thick, Wukong. At no point did I say I wanted this to happen. I just wanted to understand why you felt the need to lie to MK. What is wrong with compromising or saying no?"

"Because it's selfish!" The sharp declaration caught them both by surprise and haltingly he tried to explain, "And I... I don't want to be selfish. I've- I've been selfish enough."

He looked away, his hands balling into fists. He didn't want to be selfish but he just couldn't seem to stop himself, it was always his first instinct. It was bad enough he hadn't wanted this party but he hadn't even owned up to it, instantly shifting the blame on to Macaque to save his own pride. What was wrong with him?

His master would be ashamed.

He turned back to Macaque at hearing him take a breath, "Look... Yeah, it was shitty to try and rope me into this but you're blowing this out of proportion. It's fine that you don't feel comfortable having people here, I don't feel comfortable having people here. The root of the problem here isn't selfishness, it's fear."

He sat with that for a moment. Weighed up how true that was. He didn't believe that selfishness didn't play a part but at the heart of it he was afraid, wasn't he? He was afraid of lots of things - history repeating itself, making the wrong decisions, disappointing everyone... But beneath all of that was his fear of the Monkey King and it was hard to say if he was more afraid to be him or to not be him.

Out loud he could at the very least admit he was afraid, even if he couldn't quite bring himself to try and put his fears into words.

He nodded slowly, "You're right. I... I am afraid but I don't want that to be what drives me."

"That doesn't mean you can just ignore it - that's why I'm saying we should compromise. We don't need to brute force our way through this but this also isn't something beyond what we can handle. If MK still wants to have his big party he can find somewhere else. I don't believe they couldn't sort something out with Niú and Gōngzhǔ. I don't doubt I could convince them if for some reason Red Son can't."

He was feeling swayed but he couldn't help but lament, "It's not what MK wanted though."

"So MK might be a little disappointed. Hardly the worst thing that can happen to someone - at the end of the day what he wants is to get together with some friends and have fun. He can do that on a smaller scale here and/or he can do it on a bigger scale elsewhere. He's not going to hold a grudge over it. Mei and Red Son might but who cares what they think?"

He laughed a little at that last sentiment before relenting, "Guess I need to talk to MK then."

Macaque nodded, "No getting around that. But we can hash out some proposals for him and then talk to him together."

It was crazy how effective the sentiment of facing something together was at soothing him.

He let himself flop on Macaque's lap, "I'm sorry I tried to pass the buck. I suck. I just didn't want MK to know I'm just an anxious old man."

He didn't believe he'd heard the end of projecting his issues on to Macaque but for the moment he seemed in a merciful mood, running a hand through his hair, "With a suitable amount of grovelling I might find it in me to forgive you."

He mock-huffed, "I was hoping for a "No, you're not an anxious old man, Wukong. You're totally young and hip and brave" - maybe with some swooning, a love declaration- Ow!"

Macaque pulled at his hair, "Don't push your luck. You're not out of the woods yet."

That was fair. He settled down and sank into the pleasant feeling of Macaque resuming his gentle ministrations and after a moment he tried to offer a sincere if not awkward thank you, "Thanks for putting up with me when I get all, y'know..."

Emotional, sensitive, stressed... The list was endless and while his gratitude hadn't quite been as eloquent as he would have liked, he was sure Macaque understood. He'd find another way to properly show his appreciation.

Macaque scoffed at his poor attempt before responding, "Yeah, well pretty sure it was my turn anyway. Just means you're up for responsible and supportive duty next. And god knows what you'll have to deal with."

For Macaque? He'd face whatever came their way.

----

As Macaque predicted, MK had been disappointed but after a bit of back and forth, that got a lot more dramatic once Mei and Red Son got involved, he had accepted the party of the century he had envisioned was not going to happen on Flower Fruit Mountain's shores anytime soon.

They had left him with the hope that perhaps it could happen one day, if smaller events could be held without anything going wrong then maybe they could build up to it and that seemed to soothe any ruffled feathers. Wukong hadn't quite been able to admit he had outright lied about being on board with the party from the start but he had stood with Macaque as a united front and he was very grateful to Macaque for allowing it.

For the immediate future however they didn't have to worry about any parties. Well, they didn't have to worry about any parties the kids wanted to have here at least. One positive thing that had come out of this whole debacle was the idea that they should try and have some people over for a get together. It felt like a nice easy first step for getting used to the idea of perhaps having a proper party one day.

Any nerves he had about this particular soiree were much easier to manage when he felt genuinely excited about it. He knew all the people coming and few of them even acknowledged he was the Monkey King - Chóu at this point just seemed to outright refuse to believe he was anyone of note outside of Macaque's "husband".

Which wasn't at all helped when she saw his humble little abode, thankfully he didn't have to listen to sarcastic comments about how fitting a palace it was for the supposed king for long as he ushered them onto the naturally formed balcony a short distance away.

It was the perfect spot - close enough to the house in case anyone needed anything and short of climbing up to the top of the mountain it had one of the best views of the island there was. Not to mention there was plenty of shade for those who preferred or needed it.

Everything had already been set up although he might have gone a bit over the top with the food and drink selection. He'd cooked and baked through most of the day yesterday to make sure there was plenty to eat, he'd dug deep into the old wine cellars to see what was to be found and squeezed a truly ludicrous amount of fruit juice. He was determined that he was going to be the perfect host - it was a matter of pride.

That and he really didn't need to give Gōngzhǔ any more reason to hate him. He was sure she only tolerated him for Macaque's sake and, y'know, given the hardships that he personally had caused her that was probably more than he deserved. But he was hopeful he might be able to improve his standing with her at least a little. Eventually... after a considerable amount of time and effort.

Shockingly however he and Niú on the other hand had made great strides towards reconciliation, with considerably less violence than he would have expected. In Niú's own words, they were different people, in a different world and clinging to the past would do nothing to serve them.

That's not to say he did not make it clear that any backsliding, on either of their parts, would not be met with swift and painful retribution. His relationship with Macaque was under particular scrutiny and while there hadn't been an explicit shovel talk, the message had been received loud and clear.

Since then the two of them had had a number of, dare he say it, pleasant interactions - they'd even gone hunting together once or twice with just the two of them. Running wild around the fiery planes of Niú's home was nostalgic in many ways but it didn't make him feel young and carefree in the same way that chasing Macaque did.

Not entirely at least, every once in a while he caught a flash of two young and power hungry demon lords that thought they were on top of the world. It was a heady feeling and it reminded him of how he and Niú had once become fast friends. Their territories far enough apart that they could bond over their ambition, rather than instantly being at war.

He found himself grateful that there were only fleeting glimpses of who they had once been. They had both once been known for their greed and their fury and while he didn't believe they'd ever truly rid themselves of those aspects of who they were, they were under careful wraps. Both aware of everything they had to lose should they ever be tempted to give into either.

He liked to think they both were much easier people to be around these days. Humility and wisdom, forced upon them through the consequences of their actions, made them much more considerate and thoughtful individuals. Not to say they didn't both have their quirks and bad habits but if nothing else they were better listeners.

He was feeling a little bit soppy seeing Niú sat comfortably looking out over the island with a glass of peach wine. Niú was looking a touch nostalgic about it all as well. It had been a long time since he'd been a welcome guest here - it was... bittersweet.

Talking about the old days was always a bit of precarious activity - the risk of wandering into dangerous territory was high and even good memories could leave one feeling morose. Thankfully, the presence of Chóu, Mián and Chī helped them to avoid the worst of it. Especially when they had so many stories of the present to share.

All of them were tittering gleefully as Mián acted out how Macaque apparently behaved whenever Wukong made him a new outfit. They threw themselves against walls and twirled unnecessarily until they sat and posed dramatically before clearing their throat obnoxiously.

Chóu did her best to say her lines while wheezing, "Macaque... Why don't you... Don't you look lovely today."

Mián responded disinterestedly, "Hm? Oh, thank you." All the while they twirled their satin scarf, looking at it pointedly.

Chóu just about got out, "Are those new clothes?"

Mián stood and twirled this way and that, "Oh these? Why yes, my husband made them for me, by hand. Aren't they just stunning?"

Chóu was too far gone to try and respond properly, laughing loudly and with utter joy. Wukong was equally delighted and turning his gaze to Macaque revealed that he wasn't in the slightest embarrassed although he did look very amused, "You sure I don't usually throw in a handstand or a flip to make sure you can appreciate how well I can move in them?"

He was never going to let go of the fact that Macaque liked to show off something he had made for him. The pride he felt at this knowledge though made him feel a hundred feet tall. But despite puffing up in pride he still jeered, "Yeah, Mián! Commit! Do a flip!"

They flipped him off, "Like hell! Not all of us could get a second job in a circus, y'know!"

This, of course, set off an argument about who was the most athletic and thankfully it was early enough in their drinking that no-one was tempted to get too reckless with it. Chóu and Mián couldn't even do a handstand, although the former insisted she had been quite the gymnast in her youth. And when Chī had demonstrated an impressive string of flips and manoeuvres, Chóu had nodded, "Yup, just like that! I was a lithe little thing once!"

Honestly, it was hard to tell what to believe when it came to Chóu sometimes. He didn't doubt she certainly believed she had once been capable of Olympic level gymnastics but he had serious reservations about whether that had actually been the case.

When it came to the four remaining contestants rules had to be made - no powers, routines had to be restricted to a certain area and height and you only got one shot. It was the only way to avoid injury and collateral damage as they tried to one up one another. Honestly, it was hard to say who was the most competitive.

All of them loved to win and all of them were not above cheating in order to come out on top. Niú was surprisingly flexible for his bulk but he was the clear loser of the four of them and Gōngzhǔ while impressive was no match for a monkey. It was probably an added disadvantage that their fighting styles were more aligned to brute force than the fancy foot work that he and Macaque favoured.

Wukong had gone for a more is more approach. He figured the more flips he could fit in consecutively the more impressive it would look to the Tailor Trio, those were the only ones he could count on to possibly sway the vote in his favour - Niú and Gōngzhǔ were going to vote for Macaque no matter what he did.

He did hear some appreciative "ooh"s and "aah"s but he could admit he lost some points at the end for looking a little queasy - that many flips on their own would have made him dizzy but slightly tipsy he had some serious regrets. Macaque pat his back in a parody of concern before making his way to centre stage.

He grinned widely and took a bow before standing and changing his outfit in a flurry of shadows before a small orchestra of instruments started playing. A little band of shadows off to the side were playing on instruments Macaque had clearly pulled from inside the cave.

Aggravatingly, he had to give credit where it was due, he and the others had been focused purely on technique and impressive feats but leave it to Macaque to make a real show out of it. Everything was in time to the music and acrobatics were seamlessly strung together with dancing and poses in between them.

When he finally finished and took a bow it was to rapturous applause from the Tailor Trio and Wukong was torn between sulking and joining in. He was surprised when Gōngzhǔ slowly clapped before smugly noting, "Very impressive. A shame you'll have to be disqualified for using magic."

Macaque hadn't used magic for the actual performance but he supposed the music really did add to the spectacle. The question was though was he petty enough to jump in this bandwagon?

He pointed accusingly at Macaque, "That's right, cheater! You were trying to dazzle the judges! This was a test of acrobatics not showmanship! Disqualified!"

Macaque just grinned, "Disqualify me all you want but I don't think there's any denying whose performance you enjoyed the most. That's all the victory I need."

There was a great deal of back and forth over how to decide who was the true winner but it stayed on just the right side of vigorous debate to be enjoyable. He's not sure they actually came to a conclusion before they got distracted by other topics.

Macaque had continued to have the shadows quietly play instruments in the background and with the haze of alcohol slowly settling over him it took him a little too long to realise why that was an issue. He smacked Macaque's arm before he pulled out a handful of his own hair to form clones to take over the instruments.

Macaque's clones were not sentient like his, which meant he had to focus in order to have them play the instruments. No wonder he'd been nursing the same drink for the last hour. The live music was undeniably adding to the atmosphere but they could have easily gone and grabbed a speaker and played music that way.

Oddly, he still didn't seem to be in a hurry to drink anymore after that. Which wasn't a problem, of course, Mián wasn't drinking either but he didn't really have much time to dedicate any thought to it as he, rather foolishly, had decided that he was going to keep up with Niú who could put away a truly terrifying amount of alcohol in one sitting.

Gōngzhǔ was no slouch either but she clearly wasn't concerned with keeping up with them. Although she did get noticeably clingy as the sun went down - not with him obviously but she always had a hand on someone, increasingly however she was all over Macaque. Which was fine until Wukong had reached the point where all he really wanted to do was hang off Macaque himself and she wouldn't let him.

Thankfully, the situation never came to more than a glaring match thanks to Niú's intervention. Pulling Gōngzhǔ away and declaring it was time to head home. Macaque had looked greatly relieved and after many goodbyes and promises to do this again soon he had opened a portal for all of them to head through.

Once they had all left, it was like a switch had been flicked and suddenly he was extremely unsatisfied with the lack of physical contact. Nevermind that his head was already on Macaque's shoulder, or that he had an arm wrapped tightly around him, while his free hand played with their entwined tails. It wasn't enough, he needed to be closer.

Macaque just seemed bemused by his attempts to climb into his shirt. He stopped him with gentle but firm hands, "How about you let me tidy up first and then you can cling to me for as long as you want?"

He nodded along not really listening but once Macaque started to pull away he doubled his efforts to hold him closely as he whined, "Nooooo. Where are you going?"

Macaque laughed, "I should have gotten Mián to start diluting your drinks way sooner than I did. Just give me two minutes to make sure we don't wake up to a small disaster tomorrow morning because we left everything to the mercy of the monkeys."

That sounded vaguely like it was a good idea but he really couldn't understand why he should have to let go for that. Macaque could totally do both. He buried his head into Macaque's chest, "Piggy back."

"Ha! You wish. Here, let me make this easier for you."

Between one blink and the next he was inside the house sat on the couch and tragically there was no Macaque anywhere in sight, let alone in his arms where he was supposed to be. He leaned heavily on the backrest as he whined loudly, "Macaque!"

He pouted. He didn't know where Macaque was but if he didn't show up within the next thirty seconds he was going to have to go and find him. Why wasn't he here? He frowned and awkwardly tried to turn around to check the calendar in the kitchen - it wasn't a Void day was it? Hey, were those peach chips on the counter?

He stared at them long and hard before deciding, yes, he really did want those chips. He turned back around to ready to try and tell his legs to stand up when a heavenly weight landed on his lap and he looked up to see Macaque looking incredibly amused above him.

He threw his arms open wide with a delighted shout of Macaque's name before wrapping his arms around him, mumbling nonsense into his shirt. He drew back and pulled at the offending article, "Why are you wearing clothes?"

Macaque grinned, "Why are you wearing clothes?"

He looked downward to see he was indeed wearing clothes, he muttered to himself, "When did that happen...?"

He promptly began to wrestle with his shirt, it put up a good fight but Wukong had taken on thousands of more difficult adversaries than that. When he finally dropped his shirt off beside him, he was delighted to find Macaque's bare chest staring back at him and he wasted no time bringing his hands to Macaque's hips and nuzzling his head against it.

He was content for all of a minute before he complained, "Why can't we be closer!"

Macaque brought a hand to his cheek and directed his face upwards so their eyes met, "Closer, hm? How close do you want to be?"

The suggestive tone was completely lost on him as he all but winded Macaque as he trapped him in a bear hug, his head slamming against his sternum, "This close! This close but closer! Why can't I be, like, inside you?"

Macaque's mutterings of, "Well, you could be if you hadn't drank yourself stupid." were ignored as he realised there were yet more clothes separating them. He did his best to remove his trousers before he was momentarily stumped by the conundrum of having Macaque in his lap.

With no warning he stood up, grabbing Macaque and hoisting him up and holding him with one arm while his other tried it's best to free himself from his prison. He felt Macaque lean and elbow on his head with a sigh, "You know if you weren't currently struggling to understand how clothes worked that might have been pretty hot."

Ugh, boots. How was he supposed to...? Trousers around his ankles, he tried to bring one foot up to make an attempt at removing the stupid thing. For whatever reason though all coordination and grace seemed to have left him and he heard Macaque swear as they started on a crash collision for the floor.

For one nauseating moment he thought he might throw up as the shadows shifted around him but thankfully when he landed sprawled on top of Macaque on the couch he managed to swallow it down. He was quickly distracted by Macaque's laughter and he found himself staring up at him adoringly.

His attention was however snatched away by the feeling of shadow swirling around his legs and his face lit up as he looked down to see them remove his boots and trousers. He was even more delighted to realise that Macaque's were already gone. He snuggled against him, as he slurred, "Shadow powers are so good..."

He melted as Macaque gently scratched at his scalp, "You're so good... The best..."

Macaque chuckled, "I know. Close enough for you yet?"

Legs, arms and tail wrapped around him, with head tucked underneath his chin he hummed his contentment. No, wait..., "Mac, I need to piss."

Macaque removed his hand from his hair with a huff, "Then go piss then."

He groaned, "Don't want to move. Comfy. Really need to go though."

"What a conundrum. Whatever will you do?"

He was suddenly struck with the greatest idea any soul had ever conceived. He almost headbutted Macaque in the chin as he swung his head up to announce his brilliant solution, "Mac! You can do it for me!"

Macaque snorted, "I think you'll find I can't."

He brought up a hand to pat at Macaque's face with urgency, "You can! Shadow portal! Right here!" He gestured in the general direction of their hips, "Then I don't have to move at all!"

Macaque blinked at him before his face scrunched in disgust, "You are not pissing through one of my shadow portals!"

He whined, "What? Why not? It's genius! Just open a portal that I can put my dick through."

For a brief second, he thought Macaque had actually done it and then he found himself lying face first on to his bathroom floor next to the toilet. He groaned Macaque's name loudly in displeasure before he grumbled his way through the arduous process of picking himself up, pissing and then stumbling back to the living room.

He frowned when he saw it was empty but a shout of his name from the bedroom has him perking up. He all but collapsed on top of Macaque when he reached him complaining loudly, "Can't believe you'd do that to me... You suck."

Macaque huffed, "What happened to me being the best?"

Curling around Macaque and getting comfortable all sins were forgotten, he nodded, "Yeah, you are the best." He yawned widely, "I love you."

Macaque snorted, "You're a real Casanova, you know that?"

He was out before Macaque could even comprehend responding.

----

One serious hangover later and Wukong was ready to be caught up on any details that were just a touch too fuzzy for him to appreciate on his own. The first thing he did however was gripe about Macaque's lack of a hangover.

He had just shrugged, "I figured at least one of the overpowered old demons with a history of violence should stay sober. And the one that can portal the others into timeout felt like the sensible choice."

That was a pretty fair point to be honest but he couldn't help but feel a little put out, "Did you still have fun though?"

"Oh plenty. Always a good time when you get some potential blackmail out of it."

He racked his brain for any evidence that that ominous statement might apply to him when he thought he remembered something else, "Did I get into an argument with Chī over the best type of stitch?"

Macaque laughed as if he'd just remembered that himself, "You sure did. I don't think I've ever seen her so fired up - she was tapping so fast I was surprised you could still understand what she was saying. I'm not sure you actually won that one though. Mián had to pull her away before she could stab you."

What a sight that must have been. God, he used to be cool. People used to be in awe of him everywhere he went. And now he was being threatened with embroidery needles for being totally right about how he ranked different stitches. His younger self would never have seen that one coming.

Apart from that he and Niú had also gotten into a literal screaming match at one point - both convinced they had the better battle cry. Wukong snapped his fingers, "That's why I remember being in the middle of the desert!"

"Oh yeah. No way I was putting up with that. I brought you back after you had screamed yourselves hoarse."

After being filled in on the majority of shenanigans, he posed thoughtfully, "Hey, does Gōngzhǔ always gets so handsy when she's drunk? She was, like, all over you."

Macaque scratched his head a little awkwardly, "She can get a bit sappy but I think the touchiness was probably because you were there. I think she was just trying to keep you at bay. She gets a little protective. I'm actually pretty impressed she managed to be so civil but I think Niú called it just at the right time."

In hindsight, he realised at no point were he and Gōngzhǔ given an opportunity to talk one-on-one with each other and that likely hadn't happened by accident but they had managed to be part of the same conversations so that was good, right?

He tapped his fingers on the table as he asked, "Anything I could do that could make her less on edge around me?"

"Probably not... I wouldn't worry about it though. You've got me on your side and Niú has pretty much decided to let bygones be bygones so really all you can do is to keep not fucking up and one day she might sort of maybe feel neutral towards you?"

Wow. Aiming high there but that was better than hating him so he'd take it. He wasn't given much time to get caught up thinking about it when Macaque teased him, "Besides you're one to talk about being handsy. I don't remember you being that clingy a drunk."

He could only sit and cringe with embarrassment as Macaque took great joy in explaining his sudden abhorrence for clothes and his desperate attempts to be touching as much of Macaque as was physically possible. He was a tactile monkey, and he definitely did get worse when he'd been drinking but this was to a whole other level.

At least he hadn't done anything inappropriate? And Macaque didn't seem at all upset with him for it - quite the opposite in fact. And then he explained how Wukong had ruined the mood with his brilliant idea to use shadow portals to avoid moving in order to pee.

Macaque clearly expected sober him to agree it was gross but honestly he was amazed he had never considered it sooner, "Dude, that's genius! There's nothing worse than having to get up to pee when you're comfortable. You literally wouldn't have to move at all!"

Macaque was not impressed, "You're not using my shadow portals to cut out a thirty second walk to the bathroom."

Wukong accused, "There's no way you've never thought about this before now. Look, me in the eye and tell me you've never used your shadow portals to pee."

He tsked and looked away. And Wukong crowed victoriously, "I knew it! I can't believe you kept this from me!"

"For the last time you are not getting to use my shadow portals for this!"

They'd see about that. They'd long since passed the point where bathroom habits were remotely private affairs - Wukong was not going to let this go anytime remotely soon.

He let it go for just now though, "Man, what other applications of your portals have I not thought of?"

Macaque's face went suspiciously blank and suddenly the answer was very clear, "You've used them for sex stuff!?"

Macaque seemed to find the words "sex stuff" incredibly amusing but he didn't deny it. Both incredulous and a little embarrassed he stuttered, "What? I mean, how? Like, I get how you could use your, er, physical shadows to..."

The more he thought about it the more he realised how "useful" Macaque's abilities could be in the bedroom and his face only got redder and redder. Macaque looked all geared up to rock his world view before he seemed to reconsider, "Actually, I'm not sure you're ready to know."

"Wh-? What do you mean "not ready"! You think I can't handle it?"

He couldn't help but feel somewhat offended. He could handle anything that Macaque could throw at him. So what if he wasn't super experienced himself that didn't mean he would faint at hearing something a little risque - he'd travelled with Zhū Bājiè for heaven's sake! He'd heard more raunchy details than he'd ever wanted to know!

Macaque just grinned, "Actually, I think I'd rather hear your ideas for how my powers could be used."

He physically recoiled, absolutely ready to abandon this conversation because there was no way he won this one. He had never, ever thought about Macaque's powers being used in such a way before now and he wasn't really sure he wanted to. The few times he had considered what sex would be like with Macaque in the present it had been a tender, loving affair and that's the way he would like to keep it.

Morbid curiosity had been what had driven him to want to know more but he didn't want to play this game. So swallowing his pride, he coughed and looked away, "Er, maybe you're right and I'm not super ready to know."

He looked up at Macaque ruffling his hair fondly, "Yeah, I thought as much. Let me know if you come up with any less sexy ways my powers can be used. You might even surprise me with something I've not thought of."

He somehow doubted it but he did love a challenge.

[welcometololaland]

wip wednesday

y'all - i feel like i've been so fucking annoying lately but i'm here to request one thing of you - give me some juicy snippets to read because i'm finally on top of my shit. and i've always wanted to start wip wednesday (for all i know someone has already started it but don't rain on my parade! let me live in denial) and now i maybe can. This is from ALTA which is (omg) so close to being posted. 10 days. fuck. i'm not ready (i am).

“She’s really gone, isn’t she?” TK asks, his voice breaking as his head remains burrowed into Carlos’ shoulder. He’s stopped shaking now, which Carlos takes to be a good sign, but he’s cried so persistently that the whole front of Carlos’ jacket is wet. 

He pauses, leans back and cups TK’s face in his hands, using his thumbs to brush away a few errant tears. He briefly considers making a passionate speech about TK’s mother being dead but not gone – living on in his heart – but then he decides for pragmatism. He thinks TK will appreciate that more, anyway.

“Yes,” he says simply. “But that doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept.”

TK sniffs, his glazed eyes staring helplessly into Carlos’ own. “What do I do now, Carlos?”

Carlos sighs, brushing away another of TK's tears. “I’m not really sure, TK,” he admits. “But right now, I can take you home. It might be nice to cry somewhere that isn’t your high school computer lab.”

A tiny, hesitant smile appears at the corners of TK’s mouth. “I think my dad will be relieved,” he says. “He keeps asking why I haven’t cried yet, like it's some kind of crime.”

“Well, he’s definitely going to be pleased to see you,” Carlos points out, as TK nods tearfully. 

“Could you— Do you mind coming with me?” TK asks as Carlos steps back and drops his hands. “I don’t really want to be alone and my dad is driving me nuts. My other friends…they wouldn’t understand.”

“I hope they do understand, TK,” Carlos replies solemnly, collecting his books and following TK out of the darkened classroom. “I think everyone will do their best to support you.”

TK makes a non-committal sound as they walk down the empty hall – devoid of students – amplifying the sound of their sneakers on the linoleum. “Not like you,” he says, after a pause. “I know we’ve only been friends for a little bit, but you’re different.”

“Oh yeah?” Carlos asks, pushing open the front doors and following TK down the steps. “In what way?”

TK pauses, looking back up at Carlos as he descends the stairs, a pensive look on his face. “You’re good, Carlos,” he replies simply. “You’re good for me.”

Open tag for anyone to share but also some targeted attacks under the cut (with insane requests, feel free to ignore me)!!!

@theghostofashton (need some exes to lovers PLEASE), @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut (boxing AU boxing AU!), @goodways (got a tasty treat shannon?) @reyesstrand (food fic???) @strandnreyes (please don't hurt me but you can if you want) @rmd-writes (just because i love you) @heartstringsduet (FIRST AID?!) @carlos-in-glasses (what's next up CIG?) @birdclowns (your wip snippet game has me blurry eyed, i must know more) @fitzherbertssmolder (any comic progress?) @louis-ii-reyes-strand (been loving your snippets) @lilythesilly (fighter pilot AU?!) @kiloskywalker (tarlos fighter pilot AU????) @sanjuwrites (soulmates????) @three-drink-amy (teacher AU teacher AU teacher AU!!) @chicgeekgirl89 (any yachts about?) @lemonlyman-dotcom (some music fic for my ears???) @wandering-night19 (4 x 18 coda???) @thisbuildinghasfeelings (cross stitching update??!!!) @freneticfloetry (something from the soulmates timer fic???) @alrightbuckaroo (summer parisian au my beloved!!!!) @cha-melodius (you've got mail AU????) @redshirt2 (anything you would like to contribute, i'd just love you to keep feeding me!) @iboatedhere (how are those prompts???) @orchidscript (lovingly bullying you to keep writing) @marjansmarwani (i know the words are hard but also i am lovingly bullying you as well <3) @morganaspendragonss (has angst queen got anything this week?) @lightningboltreader (THAT ANGSTY ONE BED THING I AM SCARED BUT I WANT)

[gabessquishytum]

Hey, I think my ask got eaten by tumblr so I'm gonna resend it. If you had it deleted on purpose, just ignore this.

With everyone going wild about the centaurs, I wanna offer you a thought :

Nomad centaur Hob passing through night-mare Dream's territory every two years on his journey (it's a kind of round trip). At first Dream is sceptical, but then he warms up with each visit, and eventually they start fucking.

It's so good, Hob taking Dream under the stars until he is drooling and his eyes are rolling back in his skull. He loves how warm Hob is, how big and protective, loves listening to the stories from his travels, admires his scars, loves sleeping against Hob when he is there.

But this time, a few months after he's gone, Dream notices that Hob has left him something—he's pregnant, oops!

Hob is too far away by this point for Dream to catch up to him (and even more so taking his new condition into consideration) and so he decides to tough it out and just show Hob his beautiful baby when he gets there next time.

Caveat: Hob is a big draft Horse type of centaur and Dream is... very much not. He gets huge, and he's fairly certain the kid is enormous.

So it's no surprise that when the time comes, Dream struggles a bit, and that it takes a bit longer than it should. What is a surprise is that the baby gets stuck. So Dream's in a bit of a conundrum, mid labour and constantly getting up and down and rolling to get the foal unstuck and into position.

Then he notices something, someone, approaching and has a bit of a fright, because this is REALLY not the time, but it turns out it's just Hob. He's turned around and come back to ask Dream to come with him because obviously they belong together.

Of course Hob helps when he walks in on Dream struggling to get his baby out, even if it is quite a surprise. He gently shoves his big hand into Dream, adjusts the foals position and even helps pulling it out with every contraction.

It all goes well, and Hob adjust marvelously quick to his sudden fatherhood.

They do eventually journey together, a couple of weeks later. Just not the two, as Hob thought, but the three of them :D

OOO yes!!! I've loved the little sojourn into centaur au we've been having lately!! It's fab. I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this!

I'm absolutely LOVING this particular take on it. Very Big Hob accidentally knocking up lil dainty Dream is my new favourite image. He's thinking it'll be such a nice surprise for Hob to come back eventually and find a mini little version of himself waiting! How cute!

Eventually Dream lumbers on to the end of his pregnancy. He's cross and heavy and possibly going to kick Hob in the nuts when he comes back but. He got there in the end! The baby is... coming. Slowly. Very very slowly. He's also maybe panicking a bit because he's never done this before and how dare Hob leave him like this?!

Fortunately Hob comes back and fixes everything by more or less hauling the baby out of Dream’s poor suffering body. They dry the new edition to the family off, make sure the little one gets their first feed. The baby is just like a little mini Hob, all cute and chunky!! But they have Dream’s bright blue eyes and messy black hair.

Hob is the happiest new father on the planet, despite the whole thing being a complete surprise. He cuddles up with Dream and the baby, keeping them safe and warm through the night, softly whispering stories when either of them wake up. In the morning he's there to make sure that Dream gets a proper breakfast and he even massages some of the sore spots that have developed during his pregnancy. Dream can't be mad at Hob for being so big anymore, not when he's so dutiful and protective. Plus Dream wouldn't exchange their big, clumsy baby for anything in the world. He's already thinking that maybe adding to the family wouldn't be so bad... in any case, he can't wait to start his journey with Hob and show their little one all the wonders of the world <3

[kyathedino]

Hey there kiddos, do yall like witherburn after school news? Then boy, do I have eighteen fanfictions for you! (I'm not advertising the The Nut Job one)

That's right, I've gotten *that* desperate. So first up we have 'You Go Queen!' By Kyathedino on ao3, which is a oneshot fic depicting lesbian romance between Tina Young and Scarlett Johnson, written I'd have to say probably before episode three.

Next up is the second work of my series, which inspired the name of WBASN EP 15, 'i couldn't utter my love when it counted (but I'm singing like a bird about it now)' by Kyathedino on Ao3. It's about a possible scenario of if Aria Sanders had been Birdie, and the Reporter's reaction to her going missing.

Then comes the first work, which is not how it happened chronologically but whatever, 'what's the softest way to say (you took away my friend, my buddy)' by Kyathedino on ao3 (you may begin to see a pattern here) which is a scenario in which Christie Lamar was a member of the merry band of misfits, and how they would cope with her disappearance. Possibly receiving a sequel soon.

Then comes the third work in the series, which is 'and i know it's all so shallow (but a shallow cut still stings)' by Kyathedino on ao3, which follows a brief stint in romance between Amelia Farrow-Garcia and April Calloway.

Then comes Jonathan Landry's ep of MAHTM, 'i don't want the world to see me (cause I don't think that they'd understand)' by Kyathedino on Ao3 (okay I'll stop that now yall get it) which is about Jonathan befriending Mr. Pickler's cat Sasha and growing closer to the man himself, causing very much angst when Jon goes missing and nobody is willing to believe the older man when he says that the teen was worth looking for.

After that is my shortest fic to date, titled 'try to follow your light (but it's nighttime)', which is about Dyce calling the reporter's phone thinking that he was calling his mother, and her having to go help him when he was injured (non romantic)

Then comes another Jon ep of MAHTM, titled 'Either Way, It Ends (And All Things End)', which is about Mikinzie Mishra, the girl with the community garden, creating it and telling dyce it's true purpose (to give Jon a place to come home to)

Then comes '2gether 4ever (literally)' which is a crack fic of hunter/dyce, occurring when dyce glues their hands together.

Then there's 'a minute from home (but i feel so far from it)', a fix about Hunter being trans and it not being accepted by his family, as well as the sheriff being extremely creepy, and the expectations that were put upon him and the unsafety he felt (can you tell I'm projecting? I'm projecting)

After that comes 'Rumor Has It', which is Birdie trying to determine the Reporter's identity for sport and accidentally falling in love on the way.

Ignoring the Forbidden one, next up is 'I think my body (is falling in pieces)', which is both Chloe and Evelyn's episode of MAHTM, about the two meeting after Chloe's death of sorts

Following that is another crack hunter/dyce fic, that being 'you have stolen my heart (oh-yeah!)', in which the two of them have a karaoke, somewhat k-pop date with a kid's karaoke machine

Then comes 'Not a lot (just forever)' which is Tina's ep of MAHTM, where Scarlett mourns her in a slightly homosexually-undertoned way, because she no longer had competition to push her into being better.

'i just wanna be a part of your family' is another ep of MAHTM for Tina, which is a scenario in which she was friend's with the reporter as a kid and the reporter has to deal with not having her there anymore.

Then comes my probably most fucked up one, 'when justice is gone (there's always force)', which is about Hunter Clark being a vampire and pretty much psychologically torturing his victims when they start coming back as ghosts, eventually falling in love with one of em. Still in the works, two chapters so far.

Following that is 'lovely, dark, and deep' which is about the Appalachian forest swallowing up Hunter, who used to play in it, year by year, and slowly taking away his ability to exist elsewhere as he grew older.

Then comes 'we deserve a soft epilogue, my love' which is a tma crossover where Jon join the old ladies on Ms. Newberry's porch in knitting and gossiping, and finds true, unconditional happiness in Witherburn as his Somewhere Else.

Finally, 'The Archival Interns' by Kyathedino and Fandom_Compass on ao3. My first collab, and another tma wbasn crossover, this time where The Reporter, Birdie, and Dyce go to intern at the Magnus Archives over the summer.

Aaaaaaaand that's about it. Jesus, I have a lot. And quite a few more yet in production. Either way, prettiest please try em out, and thank you for reading this far lol. God, I need a life.

[hero-israel]

I’m honestly so done with leftists bullshit propaganda regarding Israel, i have my unpopular political opinions about different things, and I’ve done my research to back them up. However I can’t tolerate the b.s. now when it comes to Israel, particularly the recent New York Times article. One minute NYT can’t be trusted and are peddling Israeli propaganda the next they’re actually really news worthy (hospital article) and now it’s back to they are lying about xyz being r-ped. As if sexual violence against women isn’t something that happens. I’m not really sure how to move on however, I’ve been in leftist spaces for so long and I use to find comfort in them but I can’t anymore. I’ve lost friends because I’ve condemned Hamas and said I don’t believe the settler colonialism narrative regarding Israel. And the friends I didn’t lose, refuse to speak to me about this. It’s getting exhausting and I honestly don’t know how you Jews and Israelis are doing it. I’m glad I know the truth about Israel, and I’m glad I have my own opinions, but it’s getting to the point where I want to rip my hair out. Should i just ignore the “Israel issue” or continue fighting? Is it even worth it atp to argue w leftists or are they too far gone? Please help. Thank you.

Thank you for writing this. Any bit of support and understanding we can get is a tremendous help - even moreso from non-Jews.

Losing friends over this issue is a terrible burden, I've had it happen and am always sorry when it happens to others. I do not ask it of anyone, and understand if they choose not to risk it. I am less understanding of people who are afraid to speak up over this issue because they don't want to lose cred amongst anonymous shared-fandom strangers they never have and never will meet.

If you feel like this is driving you nuts and is reaching the level of prolonged agitation from which it is hard to calm down and feel "normal," then it's perfectly all right to detach for a while and focus on other things. But in such circumstances, the fight may still find you - popping up in totally unrelated conversations, as it tends to - and if that does happen I for one would really appreciate it if you would still stand up for us.

[bigmeatbro]

By now, when you've discovered yourself to be a cockpred for at least a decade, you start to easily recognize when that feeling of hunger down there begins, and your cock wants something to swallow. But with practice you can control that hunger for a little while if you have to, like if you aren't able to swallow someone in that moment. Hell, some preds prefer to wait for the right moment to strike, not to rush having a meal, and can wait a long time for a good prey. Regardless of how a pred eats however, just like hunger for food, sometimes you can go from 0 to 100 in terms of needing prey. And you'll become desperate to satisfy that craving, you can't ignore those pred instincts forever. It's very dangerous for a pred to tone down that side of them for too long of a time. Well, at least dangerous for any unlucky soul who meets a starved pred.

I was hitting up my best friend Rick at our usual pub hangout this evening. We first met as teens in school and we've been tight since day one. Love that dude, he always got me. Still, even if he was my bro I could never bring myself to tell him what my cock does. I never even once thought of eating him before, he was that close to me. Anyway, tonight was supposed to a normal night out, and it's been a while since we met up, about a week ago. We normally hang out every day. He's been incredibly busy with work and so have I. Coincidentally, my last cock meal was also about a week ago, and it has been needing prey badly. A week with no prey is roughly my limit. My cock has never gone a full week with no meal, there's always a few at the minimum per week. I only have so much reserves before it would just swallow the first guy it senses, no matter who it is, and no matter where we are. I'd love to have shoved a guy down my shaft by then, I just haven't had the time to properly hunt this week. I knew it was a risk to meet up with Rick without a good meal in me, but with how our schedules are, it had to be like this. I thought that once he left I'd immediately find a different guy right after and swallow the bastard in private, but my hunger had other plans.

Rick and I had a few beers at the bar already, and I had to break the seal, and went to take a leak. He had to go as well and joined me in the washroom. It was just us in there. Suddenly, I feel an incredible hunger form just as I'm about to finish my piss. I've been neglecting my pred instincts for so long. I feel a bit dazed and really warm. Fuck... my nuts need to churn someone badly. My cock maw is drooling for food, my pre already spewing a bit. I need cock food!! I went into pred mode, and instantly I was wanting to go for Rick since it was just us. Sure he's been a good friend... but I could get other friends, right? At this point, Rick is still taking a leak as my cock is starting to expand. Then I have a quick relapse; should I really take away my best friend like this?... No, I need to eat. This is how it is. Plus, this way he can get to know the real me, even if it will be brief.

Just then, this other dude comes in and takes the spot inbetween me and Rick. Boy did he pick a bad time to piss, he became a shield to Rick. With my hunger being so extreme in that moment plus knowing that I might not eat my best friend, I said fuck it. I finally let go of everything and I was nothing more than a starved cock pred in that moment. I didn't even care to see if this dude was my type of cock food I would go for normally. I didn't care how Rick would think of me after he saw what I do. I grabbed my prey on the back of his neck just as my cock grew to a few foot long, then longer, and it went right for his head. I shoved him even deeper in my shaft, my dick slit slurping him in further. He was wailing inside and freaking out as the shaft walls closed in on him, which got wide on the outsider when his whole torso got in. I know my cock was especially hungry after waiting all this time because usually mine likes taking a minute to enjoy the feeling of a meal go down, but this guy was already knees deep in my cock in a matter of seconds, a personal record for me. Even his clothes felt amazing being swallowed in the shaft instead of being a bit chaffing inside. I was that hungry. Fuck, it felt good to let my cock go to town. The only piece of clothing that didn't get in were his shoes, with his clean high tops falling to the floor from the tip of my cock, which was several feet tall at its apex with this guy fully in it. Now that my cock was satisfied, I took a second to see just who I ate. Judging by what I felt inside, along with the outline of him, it was some tall broad fella, probably a gym bro. Damm, he felt fantastic each time his big body tried to escape, but my precum let him slide down to my nuts in no time. Once that happened and he fell in, I took a bit of a breather and my cock started to slowly go back to its normal-big shape.

Through all of that, I get a jolt of memory... Rick! Did I swallow him too, or did I not? I turn my head to see Rick looking shocked as hell from the ordeal. I don't think he will ever realize just how close he was to being in my balls right now. "Bro, the fuck did you just do?" he uttered in only a semi-concerned voice. I explained that I gotta eat. As this guy was squirming in my nuts thrashing for help while being turned to ball batter, I told Rick about me being a cockpred and what that means. Maybe he was more tipsy than I thought, but after explaining all of that, all he did was just laugh and said "That's downright insane man. Damm you're wild!" and patted me on the back with a smirk. I chuckle. That's why I love this guy, nothing fazes Rick, even when making a guy some snack for my dick in front of him. By now, I knew that I already digested this dude based on how he stopped moving in my balls suddenly, and they looked more smooth and a bit smaller now. That surprised me, I never have churned someone this fast before. I was beyond hungry. Rick asked me then what happens after my cock ate someone. Knowing that I need to unload badly, I paused and said "Just watch".

It only takes a few strokes when I'm hard to blast this churned up guy out. I was already quite turned on by the whole situation since it was so spontaneous, but this sent me over the edge. I barely had enough time to tell Rick to stand back before I was shooting so much cum everywhere. It shot out super fast and went on for a long time. It was peeling paint off tiles, splattered back off the wall and hitting us in recoil, cracking and denting the metal in the urinals... my churned loads being powerful (even by normal pred standards) are one of my favourite parts of being a cock pred. Makes me feel like a god. I already blasted gallons but there was more. I shot out some of my meal's clothes towards the end. Baseball cap, tank top, gold chain, basketball shorts... totally drenched and soaked in this thick bro cum, firing out of me one after the other. After a whole minute of gushing out like a broken fire hydrant, my cock relaxes and I manage to finally get my junk back in my shorts. It's a snug fit, but that's how it is if you eat someone in public rapidly. The whole time, Rick was in pure awe. Once it was all done, he yelled "You're a fucking beast! Had no idea you could do that, you gotta teach me that shit!" like he just watched a freakshow. I just laughed and reminded him that nobody is truly safe from a cockpred, dropping him a hint. All in all, it was a good night. I managed to get a good meal in, and Rick not only knows about my pred status but seems cool with my secret life. Maybe I should introduce him to more aspects of it...

[quirkwizard]

Which quirks would be best to survive a zombie apocalypse? To survive, you need the kill, immobilize, or avoid zombies, Find food and water, or set up shelter. Quirks that are only good for killing zombies wouldn’t be much help in feeding yourself or getting shelter. Zombies are walking dead type, so slow walking pace, doesn’t rot, silent, spread via bite or scratch, use sight, smell, and hearing to locate targets.

So I've already talked about zombies before, but there are still plenty of Quirks that could be useful in that scenario. I just won't add any of them here.

Earphone Jack: Great for scavenging and general survivability. It's good to get the general layout of an area, whether that be to find any stragglers in a space, keeping an ear out for potential threats, or helping to find certain items that may be hiding away.

Scales: The big benefit here is that it gives a flexible protect against bites and the like. Any of the armor Quirks could do that, but I went with "Scales" because of how useful it is. A good mix of options in the combat, especially with it having unlimited ammo for ranged fights.

Homing: While "Gatling" and "Rifle" would be useful since the can replenish ammo, I went with "Homing" for the utility. "Homing" could make pretty much anything into ammunition while still having the utility of being able to throw and direct weapons wherever you want.

Flight: Not only do you get perfect defense and amazing mobility with this, making any travel a synch, but you can control so much of your surroundings. Imagine using this to make a massive wall of cargo containers and buses to make the perfect fortress.

Poltergeist: Telekinesis is super versatile. That fact does not change in the apocalypse. I could go into the myriad of uses this would have, but I don't really feel like I need to. There's just too much useful utility to mention with it. And shoot, zombies are probably fragile enough that you could just pull them apart with your mind.

Tape: I've already gone over the many uses tape could have in survival situations, but it as some extra benefits. Namely in repairing items trapping zombies, and quickly getting away in a pinch. And if Dead Rising has taught me anything, tape is the bane to all undead. The key in forging mighty weapons with which to smite all of zombie kind.

Size: The utility of this is nuts. Let's ignore it's potential usage on food. You could shrink supplies to carry around, uses tiny objects as traps, or get rid of annoy obstacles. You can grow items to make them weapons, use them in crafting shelter, or just make certain materials last longer. And that is barely scratching the surface.

Mimicry: This has an insane amount of uses. Can't get into a room? Become the door and unlock it. Car out of gas? Just become the car and drive your team around. What's better is that you are affectively immune to bites and detection. Whatever doll or mannequin you want to take over can't be infected or set off zombie senses.

[traumadumpwriter]

Heavy trigger warning: Blood, violence, gore. Mentions of self harm, sexual assault and rape.

Check out the other chapters by going on the Freedom tag on my page!

Sorry for the slow updates. I'm much more regular on my Wattpad and already have a lot more chapters uploaded there. The @ is slowlychanging.

Don't forget to like and comment if you're enjoying! It really does mean a lot. Stay safe xx

Freedom: A John Shelby fanfiction

Chapter Eleven: 2900 words

Knuckles white as he gripped the wheel, John raced to the shop without even thinking to pick up Ada - only able to focus on the rage. Red hot, blistering rage, fuelled by the haunting image of Alice's crumpled body. It taunted him like a ghostly apparition whilst the smokey, serpentine roads felt like they stretched on forever.

By time he got out of the car, slamming on the breaks in the middle of the street, his anger had reached new heights. Luckily, it wasn't particularly busy at the shop; just the usual workers sat around, and so there was no halt when John stormed into Tommy's office, immediately met by alert blue eyes.

"You're a fucking prick, you know that?" John's voice was instantly raised as he paced to his older brother, who didn't as much as flinch upon recognising the intruder. Tommy had already received a bollocking from Pol that morning and wasn't at all surprised to see John's furrowed brows and closed fists. Still though, he couldn't help but be annoyed by the disturbance - he was busy dealing with the other results of last night after all - so his mouth remained straight and his gaze unsympathetic.

"She's in hospital right now because of you! Do you even care?" John slammed a hand down onto the desk with a shout, desperate for even a crack in his brothers face. "Huh Tommy? Do you even give a fuck?"

"Yes John, I give a fuck. And that's why everything worked out, didn't it?" The patriarch responded flatly before lighting a cigarette.

"No it didn't all fucking work out! Did you not fucking hear me? What about her being hurt is bloody alright to you? Alice could've died last night." John growled in response, almost spitting in his fury.

This newfound opposition from one of his most loyal soldiers was starting to get under Tommy's skin.

"Well she can't be doing that bad if you're fucking here, can she John? Huh?" His eyes started to widen with irritated energy and his voice got gradually louder. "Because she ain't even your wife and you've gone soft for her! Where's your balls John, she fucking agreed to it and if there's an issue she can come speak to me. Are you a fucking carrier pigeon now?"

John gritted his teeth.

"No, I'm not fucking not. I'll tell you what you are though. You're a fucking cunt. An egotistical fucking cunt. And-"

"Well at least I've not gone soft for a nut job, John. Because that's what she is, a fucking nut job! And you plan on marrying her! You're even thicker than I thought-"

That was it. John leapt across the desk and punched Tommy's face, quickly earning an equal punch back as they started to brawl. The noise instantly caught the attention of everyone in the shop and Pol soon burst in with a drunken Arthur - only just awoken and still stumbling.

Her shouts were being ignored as the brothers hissed at each other in between their attacks, knocking over furniture and sending each other flying.

"You're just fucking bitter that your woman ain't ever coming back, but mine did. You're still fucked off over some clapped cavalry cunt!" John declared before shoving Tommy backwards with a scoff. He went to punch him again but his brother had suddenly floored him.

"Cus' she's such a woman ain't she John? Still acting like a bloody animal whenever there's any opportunity to do so!" Tommy had a grip on John's leg, dragging him with gritted teeth until he was also pulled to the ground.

John used this opportunity to jump up and start kicking his brother, although he quickly clambered up too and threw a heavy punch to his face. Blood spat from John's mouth before he threw a heavier punch back.

"You've got no one." He growled before gripping Tommy's shoulders and slamming him against the bookshelf, classics falling down with the intense shake. John's fingers moved to squeeze Tommy's throat.

"Well last time I checked this so called woman ain't even yours, she's still Mrs Buckley." The elder mocked with wide eyes and a venomously sharp tone. He knew his brother wouldn't kill him.

Although if John was seeing red before, it was now a faded shade in comparison to the colour he saw then. The words made him feel sick. Mrs Buckley. It gave his whole body an intense wave of revulsion as he threw his brother down to the ground and then kneeled over him, quickly starting to pummel his face as Tommy landed punches to his gut.

"Don't you ever fucking say that!" A guttural shout much louder than the others erupted from his mouth followed by a flurry of hits that halted Tommy's arms entirely and finally drew over Arthur.

John didn't stop hitting until he was suddenly grabbed by the eldest, which was a mistake on his part because he swiftly received a punch to the face that also sent him to the ground whilst Tommy was clambering up.

Just as John was about to go for his brother again, Pol's voice finally broke through the violent haze and he turned to her for the first time since she entered, paying attention.

"Alright John, you've floored them both. That's enough." Despite the demanding tone, it was a familiarity he found comfort in and the red began to fade. Unbeknownst to him, she shot Tommy a sharp glare just as he was about to open his mouth and make another taunt.

"What's she in bloody hospital for? I thought you said she was alright last night?" Her words grounded him back into the current reality and his breathing started to even out; followed by a glance down at his fists which he realised were splattered with blood.

It took him a moment to collect his thoughts, looking around the room and seeing Arthur still on the floor. He made a step towards him, an instinctual desire to help his brother but quickly stopped himself as soon as he remembered Pol's question.

"Her ribs.. and the cuts." He answered numbly, staring back down at his hands. "I should get Ada-"

"Leave Ada out of it and go back there yourself. God knows she's got enough on her plate without your bloody mess." Tommy finally spoke, earning a side eye from John who's tone immediately soured again.

"You sold Alice out to get fucking ravaged by those sadistic pricks!" His shout brought a heavy silence to the room, even Arthur's groans stopping. "And you told her she'd be fine."

Everyone in the room felt a guilty pang in their guts at those words, John's pain so palpable it was no longer something even a brother could mock. Tommy didn't know what to say in response, there was no justification that wouldn't just further anger John. And so he pursed his lips and said nothing, resuming his previous cold face.

It wouldn't have to last much longer anyway as John was heading towards the door, spitting on the ground before scoffing "You're lucky, you'd be fucking dead if I'd found her a minute later" and promptly exiting, his miserable pace out considerably slower than his determined march in.

Everyone waited to hear the front door slam before moving, Pol marching across the room and landing a firm slap on Tommy's bloody cheek as Arthur hoisted himself up with a grunt.

"You happy with yourself?" She tutted and then turned to Arthur "Both of you need to sort your bloody acts out."

~~~~~

Knowing the Shelby's reputation very well, the nurses attempted to give Alice the best care they could. It was just a few stitches and some ribs that needed to be set - the care didn't need to be amazing. But her vacant expression, hollow voice and visibly self inflicted scars made them mostly quite uncomfortable, leaving just one nurse in charge.

"If she were a woman off the streets she would surely be moved to facility more suited to her needs; a nuthouse of sorts. But because she's with that awful gang, that's not allowed. She's my responsibility instead." The nurse thought bitterly.

She stayed sat a few feet away from the bed, keeping her watch on the tangled hair and tired eyes; doing anything to avoid her tattered arms. The nurse didn't know why it made her so uncomfortable but it did. There was something so unnatural about it, so unnerving. And so instead of continuing her awkward attempt at conversation with the sunken down woman, she handed her a small bottle, the glass thick and brown.

Alice shot a confused look to the nurse, knowing the contents of said bottle were quite unnecessary for her current predicament.

"I don't need this." She spoke lowly, earning a hidden eye roll from the nurse before she replied "It's for the pain."

"Yeah I know, I'm not hurting too bad-"

"I meant up here." The nurse pointed to her own head. "Shuts my thoughts right up."

Despite the passive aggressive nature of the nurse's offer, something that Alice would usually call out, she was too tired to voice a response. And she actually quite liked the idea of her thoughts shutting up. Morphine wasn't too dissimilar to the opium that Jones had fed her - something to make her stop fighting back - and although that specific idea made her feel sick, the sweet numbness seemed heavenly.

The syrup was soon dripping down her throat before the bottle made its way into her pocket, something the nurse couldn't even be bothered to argue with. "She clearly needs it." She mentally justified to herself.

It didn't take long after that for the effects to kick in, Alice's body melting into the bed and her brain going numb. There was no longer such an intense shooting pain whenever she moved and the previously shouting voices in her head mellowed out into calm whispers. A sigh of relief left the nurse's lips upon seeing a slight smile finally form upon Alice's, even if it was twitching and tiny.

The mental quiet was so relaxing, a desperately needed reprieve that Alice bathed in for a while. The opium has never been that relaxing, accompanied by the abuse, but by itself Alice could really see the appeal. She lay, blissed out for some time, until the sound of heavy footsteps pacing through the tiled corridor caught her ears.

She opened her eyes and John appeared in the doorway a second later, his body immediately un-tensing slightly upon seeing Alice awake and seemingly okay. The nurse promptly excused herself, completely ignored by him.

Now that they were alone with so many things to discuss, his pace slowed and the lump in his throat started to build again. Every step closer to the bed his brain became more desperate for something to say. Scrambling but unable to choose. There were a ridiculous number of topics to pick from and yet none of them seemed right.

Hurting his brother hadn't made him feel any better, in fact it made him feel worse; even angrier at Tommy than before - and he definitely didn't want to talk about that, let alone let slip the cruel words said about her. There was also the conversation of what to do next - get married soon or don't - and that didn't seem appropriate given the current mood nor did John even want to risk hearing rejection in his current mind state. And then there was the uncomfortable "How are you?" when the answer was glaringly obvious - that would just be stupid to ask.

It was too late now, he awkwardly stood at the end of the bed and still couldn't think of what to say. All air left his lungs and a heavy silence filled the room. What could he do now?

"It's okay. Come here." Alice's soft voice thankfully broke the silence, sounding like an angel choir to John.

Despite her hazey head, not only were his physical injuries visible but so were his emotional. Eyes a dizzying array of sadness, guilt and anger. Brows tightly furrowed. Lips pulled harsh into a falsely apathetic line. A moment passed before he let it up, finally releasing a heavy sigh and pulling a chair to sit beside her.

She held out her hand and he immediately gripped it, holding his head to her cold fingers for a few seconds before looking up again, her face always managing to make him feel extraordinary - bruised or not.

"You alright?" She gently cooed again, moving that hand to stroke his face which was now just as marked as hers.

Her touch made him feel even more strange, a trail of sparks left behind on his body by her beautiful, soft skin.

"How does she do this to me?" He thought as her hand started to feel like a cradle, almost comforting enough to lull him to sleep. Almost. His gut still felt knotted and a lump still danced in his throat.

"It's okay, we don't have to talk." Alice remained soft and calm, her light mood being aided significantly by the morphine. Only an hour beforehand she was certain that she'd ruined everything; her thoughts festering and screaming that John would never want her again, she'd be disowned by the Shelby's, everything had been ruined by her inability to say no to danger. Now those worries no longer bothered her. Instead she was just content with John's presence, comforting him instead of needing it herself.

"For once." A nagging thought attempted to pull her from the comfortable numbness but it was quickly squashed as he finally spoke, his mouth open for a second before he managed to get the words out.

"I want to talk." He stammered, swallowing again before continuing in a tone closer to his usual confidence.

"I want to talk, I just don't know where to start... I'm so bloody angry at you for even putting yourself in danger. You're a magnet for it and the worst fucking part is that you like it. You like the blood. You're sick, Alice." He took a sharp inhale, Alice's hands slowly falling from his face as each painfully honest word landed; the cloud she was on suddenly sinking.

"But I fucking love you." Now his voice quietened and his hand quickly made its way to her still face, rubbing her cheek softly as she had to him. "You're the dream that kept me going somedays in the trenches. And now I've got you, it feels like everything in the world is trying to take you away from me. Yourself included."

His words were slowly sinking in; heavy and hot like tar. It took Alice some time to think of an adequate response, her heart feeling simultaneously overjoyed and broken by the admittance, and just as she was about to mumble a slew of apologies, John spoke again, eyes boring into hers.

"They've given you something, haven't they? I should've waited to talk about this." A humourless chuckle left his lips, not even giving Alice time to respond before pulling his hand away and standing up, the chair legs making an ugly scraping noise that sounded ten times louder than usual combined with the sudden withdrawal of his touch. "I'll go find a nurse and sign you out-"

"W-wait!" She blurted out, anxiety now managing to creep it's way back up her spine. John's stare did nothing to alleviate that anxiety, but she knew she had to push through the fog and say the right thing - something intelligible at least.

"Can we continue.. from yesterday, yesterday morning I mean.. I'll make us breakfast, we can dance and everything will be good... I love you."

The heavy weight anchoring his lips down finally seemed to have been lifted, a smile that met his eyes lighting up his pale face. There was nothing he wanted more than to continue from yesterday morning and act as if none of this had happened.

"You're on bedrest, Alice. I'll make breakfast." He said with a playful scoff.

And just like that, the comfortable adoration had returned at least partially. Rocks removed from stomachs and lumps from throats, Alice sunk back down into the bed with a relieved sigh as her body relaxed again whilst John headed to find a nurse.

Looks of judgement were passed between patients and staff when he speedily wheeled her down the hall, the pair giggling loudly and the occasional gasp escaping Alice's lips at the every sharp turn. The dried blood and dark bruises heavily juxtaposed by their visible joy; as per leaving the nurses with more questions than answers when it came to the Shelby's.

Less than an hour later, the pair were laid back in John's bed and instead of laughter the room was silent. Contently silent. Their fingers were intertwined and their eyes glued to each others faces, taking in each minute detail with deep satisfaction.

The undivided attention was an intense aphrodisiac for the both of them, an unspoken wish that this moment could last forever. It was like a spell neither could explain, no words even needing to be spoke. After a while, John started to drift into sleep but not before Alice mumbled a quiet "I love you" and promptly dropped into a deep sleep moments after.

[dawnstudies]

Spoilers to Stephen King Carrie !!!

I'm slowly transforming into a Stephen King fan, and I have no shame or regrets. His writing is just simply too awesome to ignore or to trash on.

It took me around two days to finish Carrie off and let me tell y'all, it was one of the best things I've ever read even though this was only a sip of the beginning of Stephen King's writing carrier.

Let me ramble some about the book itself...

Carrie's character, way of speech, description in itself is beautiful. I love how devoted she is and how much she loves her mother even though Margaret is nuts. I love that after all the crap she's been through she never lost her belief in God.

I'm also borderline fanatic about the imaginery of religion in the book, the sick, twisted part of it that a lot don't talk about; how the "love" of God can bring out the animal of some people.

Sue's character is a bit controversal for me, since I myself as others in the book too cannot believe that this happened the way it did, I don't believe Sue to be so selfless to pass down her last chance at prom to Carrie even out of guilt; even though guilt is an emotion worse than a bunch, a lot of times it hits the wrong, resistant person. However, if I accept that what Sue had written in her book to be true, that'd make her one of my favourite characters, right after Tommy.

Now, Tommy. Great student, brilliant sportsman, a true gentleman at the prom; obviously if what Sue wrote down to be true. I know that there were parts of the book which were in story-teller prespective, but it still can be doubted that whatever happened on the prom night and before was actually what was written down. And the possibility that it might be a big, fat lie just makes the book more intriguing.

Tommy's death was one of the things which broke my heart and I believe that it was meant to be this way; Tommy was made to be a lovable character, who's adored by every reader since he was just the perfect boy. Polite, smart, sporty, strong and kind. Stephen King truly knows our greatest fantasies, huh?

Now, Chris and Billy were two characters that I had a love-hate relationship with. Both of them were crazy, that's for sure. Chris, the typical daddy's girl, who got everything they wanted, and Billy, who grew up in a bad environment. Opposites completely, yet they still attracted, they both loved the roughness of the other as the book wrote it down. Though Nolan was way more gone than Chris and by the end, when Billy made the choice to leave Chris, I almost felt bad for her; interestingly, even though when they died, all I felt was sick satisfaction.

Desjardins was another one of my favourites, because she might've been rough on Carrie at first but after she learnt that something might be wrong, she tried to help as much as possible. Though, her actions do not make her any more of a saint that Sue, because both watched for years as Carrie got bullied, but both of them tried to change. However, Desjardins was more straightforward and she apologized. Sue never apologized. I saw her death coming before it even happened, I knew it was meant to be.

I loved the smaller characters, the connections with another, Norma and the other girls, I loved the whole plot and how Stephen King turned something like telekinesis into something so beautiful and cool. Before I've read the book, I've been asked the question, whether I'd choose telepathy or telekinesis. Back then, I immediately said telepathy. Now, I'd contemplate my choices more.

To sum it all up, the characters were interesting and detailed, every puzzle piece that had to fall in place alligned perfectly, while the ones that had to be left out were left out, which makes the book mysterious and even more worth to read. It gives the reader something to think about.

I can't wait to buy another Stephen King book.

[egglygreg]

Ahleri meets her new "housemate"

Ahleri groaned, opening her eyes slightly only to squeeze them shut again at the wave of pain that swept through her. Her whole body ached like she'd been digging post holes all day, and then had gone and got the snot kicked out of her by a fat angry jumbuck. What on Lhoam had happened?

And then a voice spoke out of knowhere.

"Um, g'day? You right mate?"

She shot to her feet (ignoring for the moment the horrible pain that shot through her) and desperately tried to find who had spoken. It had sounded super close. She spun wildly and stumbled a bit in her haste to try and catch sight of the speaker.

"Who's there!?" She said loudly, shaking a little.

"Er, me I guess?" Said the voice, a bit unsurely. It sounded so close! Almost as if the person was standing directly next to her? But there was no-one there.

"Who are you? Wait, WHERE are you!?" Ahleri asked bewilderedly.

"Oh, I'm... Bertie? Pretty sure I'm Bertie. Nice to meet you?"

Ahleri continued to try and catch sight of "Bertie" but couldn't see anyone anywhere. She repeated her question.

"Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm in your head? I mean, I'm not really sure exactly what's happening but I think that's what's going on."

Ahleri stood for a moment slightly stunned, before putting her head in her hands and groaning.

"That's it, I've gone mad. Fully round the twist. Completely bloody bonkers. Dad always said I was a bit nuts and here's the proof."

"I think you need to sit down, your heart rate is through the roof."

Ahleri laughed, a little manically, but she took the advice and sat down heavily.

"OK voice..."

"Bertie."

The voice sounded a bit more sure about it this time. Ahleri thought she sounded feminine, but wasn't certain.

"OK, Bertie, how exactly are you in my head?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure it was the things you put on. What are they called? I know that I know what they're called, what is it? B, b, bracers? Brrracelets? Mmmm wait no, Bonds! You put on the Hero's Bonds, and here I am!"

Bertie sounded rather proud to have remembered that fact. Ahleri, however, was less pleased.

"The... wait THE Hero’s Bonds!? The things that the legendary Hero of Strahna wears? You're pulling my leg."

"Nope, I remember now! I'm the guardian of the Hero's Bonds, and my name is Bertie. It's my job to help the Hero know what they're meant to do and stuff."

Ahleri huffed a disbelieving laugh.

"And stuff? You're really filling me with confidence there, Bert. You're telling me that I found the lost Hero's Bonds? The ones that disappeared like 90 years ago?"

"90 years!?" She sounded genuinely shocked, which was odd, considering her prior declaration. "Really? Huh, that's a long time. Wait, what happened to old Zyggie?"

Ahleri was puzzled for a moment, before she recalled the previous Hero's name.

"You mean Hero Zygos? The last Hero? No-one knows, they say he just disappeared... wait, why don't YOU know?" 

Ahleri's tone became a bit accusatory.

"You were literally attached to him, right? How do you not know how he died?"

Bertie was silent for a long moment. When she finally spoke, her voice was unsteady and halting.

"I... don't remember. Why don't I remember? I... I don't. I don't. Know. I don't know!!"

She sounded genuinely distressed, which made Ahleri feel very uneasy. She did take pity on her though, and changed the subject.

"OK, let's chuck that aside for a bit. What exactly am I meant to do now, Bertie? Do I need to get the Bonds to the Piyem in Bamerrac, so they can appoint a new Hero? I don't really know how this works."

"Weeeeell," said Bertie, a bit sheepishly, "you're... actually the Hero? Once the Bonds are on they don't really come off, not 'till you kark it. Sorry about that?"

"You... they WHAT!??"

(Ahleri, and Bertie in her "anxious" projection form, which is a gold glowing fat tailed dunnart)

[zmediaoutlet]

hello liz!! happy wincest wednesday!! can you do a director's commentary on the constant vow? like what inspired it, how the story changed along the way, what you had to leave out, stuff like that?

helloooooo happy wincest wednesday, and we shall all politely ignore how many wednesdays ago this was sent [ 😓 ]. To slightly fuck up my most-quoted line from the West Wing: let's forget about the fact that I'm late to the party, and embrace the fact that I showed up at all!

Tricky q, though! It's a lot of just like... sheer volume of fic to comment on, haha. But I'll use your questions as a starting-off guide, and given that it is wincest wednesday (wincest week, wincest life), I'll keep that in mind. So --

what inspired it?

What inspired it was how I was reading like every single genderswap/sex curse/etc etc fic that had been written in fandom at the time -- the time being roughly when s8/9 was airing, so... like ten years ago, lol -- and noticing a trend, and also getting kind of increasingly annoyed at that trend. To wit: isn't Dean Winchester just the most terrible womanizing horndog, and doesn't he just really need to be narratively punished for his Crimes? The answer to both is... uh, no. Not at all. So: a fic, haha.

Fandom takes Dean's whole womanizing naughty boy thing as received wisdom a lot of the time and I find it completely bewildering. It's subverted in episode 2 (if you didn't notice it was a total act in episode 1). Like... hello. Use your eyes and ears, friends. But what's more interesting to me on that level is that Sam takes it as received wisdom, and while it's also tempting to ask Sam to use his eyes and ears it's a lot more excusable for him to be confused about that whole... thing. Dean performs it very well in public -- and tbf, he does fuck! Not like he's not getting tail -- but womanizer is a very particular kind of pejorative and one I pretty roundly reject (for interesting and good reasons I'm right about that I've gone into elsewhere). But so many of those fics had both the flawed womanizer assumption at the heart and also a Sam who tended to buy it, even if justice was asserted by the end, and it was just driving me slightly nuts, lol. And because the only reason I ever write a fic is because I want to read the one I actually want, it went on the list. To be very eventually written, haha.

(more babbling below the cut)

how the story changed along the way

Things I always knew: I wanted the witch to be stupid/bad at magic, because I was also getting tired of Oh So Wise Arch Bitch Witches who somehow manage to laser-focus a punishment spell. (Can you guess that I found Rowena tiresome, lol.) I always knew I wanted it to be a reset every day for a month for the iterative game of 'there's no getting away from this, we have to keep having sex, and how will the relationship evolve as we do?' I always knew I wanted it to be a True Love game, a) because it's a classic of the genre but also b) because it'd be fun to see them circling that inevitable conclusion, especially given that c) I wanted Bobby to have to try. Just to be mean to Dean, basically. :)

That said: in the ten years of contemplation I really went back and forth on the setting being s2 or s7. I knew all along that I wanted it to be true first time, i.e. neither of them had any secretly pining wincest wants (beyond what's true of their codependency in canon), and for it to be a slow coming together over the course of the curse. s2 first time is one of my favorites because of the seismic effect John's loss has on their relationship; s7 is one of my favorites because of the weird sense of true freedom they've got, when Sam's mind is back in place and he's all whole and he's still standing right next to Dean, exactly where he wants to be. (Gah!) But what I realized is that s2 was just... too early. They're babies, still untested. If the story's about True Love then... I'm just not interested in their early-seasons True Love, frankly. It's nice, it's intense, but it lacks the tempering of real tests that'll come in s4/5/6. There's a reason I'm a mid-seasons girlie.

Of course, then I realized it was better to shift it back a little more to the second half of s6. You still get most of the revelatory pleasure of s7's unspoken We Choose To Stay vibes, but without the added complication of Lucifer talking to Sam throughout (did not want his color commentary on Dean's pussy of the day), or the Leviathan plot ramping up. Eve's just out there doing her thing in late s6; it provides a nice narrative breather. Not that they realize it, haha.

what i had to leave out

Very little, actually. Over 120k of decompressed sexy navel gazing you can cram in a lot of stuff, lol. But one thing that did keep coming up and I kept very deliberately cutting right up to the edge of it so you could see the shape but not the thing itself: gay/bi Dean.

Obviously it does come up, with Sam's very careful questioning that starts in the cabin -- Dean dropping hints himself; Sam having little fireworks going off in his brain. I think in those OKC conversations it's a little more bald, in a way that I think/hope was appropriate for that stage in the relationship -- once you've slept with someone like 28 times it's reasonable to ask more about their background, I guess.

Given, though, that a lot of the fic is circling around the concept of Dean-as-object, I really wanted to keep some opacity in him. Some little bit of mental privacy, especially with how he's being cracked open physically. I hope that in all that's not being said there's a lot of room for all kinds of history, stuff Sam might learn more about (or not!) as they continue. Obviously prostitution was part of it, but to what extent? Did he hook up with guys just because he wanted to? (Was Dean/John ever a thing?) All stuff that the fic needs to be aware of, e.g. in how it informs how he does not want to open that door with Cas, but that doesn't need to actually be on screen.

Oh, I also left out period sex and pregnancy kink. Both wildly tempting but would've dragged the fic to yet another place.

random this-fic trivia

I had no idea how the curse was going to get solved until the day I wrote that it was going to be solved in 'two parts' and went, oh fuck. Now I gotta come up with the two parts.

I initially hated Denise and then she became my bestie. She makes really good lasagna. :/

In a lot of ways the most important part of the whole 120k is the line Dean has about saying that even the cure is stupid -- because he loves Sam, and loves making him feel good, and so what's good for Sam is good for Dean, so how do you differentiate? Sam and Dean are both bibros, news at 11.

For me the sexiest part of the fic by far is one of the middle nights at the cabin where Sam wakes Dean up in the early morning to be fucked and then is just playing with his body after, wide-awake while Dean's sleepy, vaguely possessive and smug. It's just a good look on them both.

Not-on-screen headcanon from me: Dean was treating it like prostitution even through the first 'date' where Sam asked him not to, and it wasn't until Sam tried to kiss him at the beginning of ch5 that the careful mental shield of it being a 'job' cracked, and never repaired. No going back, at that point (even if he had another mini-crisis over the blowjob, later).

Future headcanon for the fic: Dean is way less shy about showing Sam his lingerie kink. In contrast, Sam develops an almost-crippling breeding kink. (Dean is delighted when he finally figures out why Sam's acting so weird.)