#I've heard them parrot my advice back at me

[hells-plaid-angel]

My headcanon is that Dean was the one who told Sam how important it was to eat 'healthy' as a kid.

He probably watched some daytime T.V. special about it while the two were cooped up in a motel room and John was on a hunt. Dean with his role as pseudo-parent took the piece of advice to heart and would encourage Sam to eat his vegetables or chuck a couple of pieces of broccoli in his homemade mac and cheese when he could. His advice may be slightly misguided à la 'ketchup is a vegetable' but his heart was in the right place.

Like most childhood lessons, when Sam grows up he can't recall who taught them, the idea just sticks. Meanwhile, Dean, who damn well wishes he didn't remember, rolls his eyes so far in the back of his head each time Sam pushes him to eat something vaguely green.

[mrprettywhenhecries]

don’t waste your time (on me) [g.t]

04. | A Bad Idea

Gator Tillman ✘ Win Lewis (OC)

⇾ w.c. 5.1k words ⇾ warning(s). canon x oc pairing, f!oc, misogynistic themes, inexperienced!Gator, public sex, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie, early ejaculation, oral (f!receiving), cum eating, gator being sweet, recreational drug use/marijuana ⇾ a/n. took longer than I wanted to to finish this chapter, and I think I've definitely looked at it for too long. Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated. I could use some kind words 💚

When Roy realizes his son didn’t heed his advice, he changes tactics, telling Gator to invite Win to the ranch.  After a steamy night of sex and drugs, Gator breaks the news to Win and she realizes his feelings run deeper than she thought.  And maybe so do hers.

[ masterlist • win bio ]

“Oh fuck, Gator–”

Win’s voice cracked as her head fell back against the stall door, Gator’s heavy breaths loud in her ear with each snap of his hips, desperately fucking her in the dingy bathroom stall.

“Oh shit, you feel so damn good, Winnie,” he grunted, his brows pinched in concentration and Win couldn’t help but grin as she watched him, her head and heart only tangling further each time she tangled with him, which over the past few weeks had been as often as possible – Gator taking every opportunity he could to fall into bed with her or find some clandestine spot for them to fuck like rabbits at any free second, which at the moment happened to be after breakfast in the diner’s bathroom before Gator’s shift.

For a second, Gator’s expression altered, alarm crossing his face as his grasp on Win began to slip and she let out a yelp, hastily bracing herself before she could fall.

“Gator, if you drop me, I swear to God–” she hissed, gasping as he hefted her up higher against the door to readjust his grip on her thighs, which were wrapped tightly around his waist. “I'm not gunna drop you,” he huffed defensively, resuming his impatient thrusts, making her tits bounce softly beneath her tight top.

“Now quiet down,” we don’t want anyone finding us like this,” he grunted.  “Not unless you wanna end up in handcuffs for indecent exposure,” he teased, flashing her a cheeky grin.

“Wouldn’t that entail you ending up in handcuffs too?” Win pointed out, but Gator’s grin only widened.

“Oh, but you forget, sweetheart.  I’m the law,” he chuckled darkly, his eyes screwing shut moments later as he came, as if it were the thought of her in handcuffs that had tipped him over the edge.

Panting heavily, he pressed his face to her chest while he composed himself.  “Did you cum?” he asked suddenly, as if just remembering to ask, his large brown eyes seeking hers and Win shook her head.

“I was close, but no,” she answered truthfully, and Gator frowned, setting her down unsteadily.

“Fuck, sorry,” he muttered as they fixed their disheveled appearances, his disappointment in himself taking Win aback a little.

By all accounts, Gator seemed like just the type of guy who didn’t really care if his partner finished, as long as he was satisfied.

Except, the more time Win spent with him, the more she realized, Gator wasn’t exactly like she’d expected him to be.  Sure, some of the shit that came out of his mouth was problematic as fuck, but it almost felt parroted, as if he were just repeating what he’d heard his whole life, and it was no surprise to her who he’d heard it from.

“It’s okay, you can pay me back later, Deputy,” Win drawled, slipping her arms around his shoulders as she raised up on her toes for a kiss, sighing as his lips moved against hers.

Gator raised a brow at her as he pulled back, his hands lingering at her waist.  “Later?” he asked hopefully and Win bit her lip, nodding.

“Yeah, I have the night off, you should come over, watch some movies, play some video games, have some hot nasty sex on my couch,” she purred, grinning at him expectantly and Gator groaned.

“Fuck, Winnie, you’re gunna make me hard again,” he whined and she snickered, taking his hand to lead him to the door.

“You go ahead and I’ll follow, that way it won’t look like we just did what we did,” Win said, giving Gator a little shove and he chuckled as he turned back to wink at her before striding back out into the diner.

Fighting to keep a straight face, she stepped out moments later, returning the waitress’ smile and wave before she noticed Gator standing awkwardly at the end of a booth and her blood ran cold as she noticed who had just sat down.

When Roy Tillman’s eyes met hers, it felt like time slowed, the air around her turning thick like jelly and she forced herself to keep walking, Gator’s gaze catching hers helplessly before she pushed open the door and hurried outside.  Something about the Sheriff’s sharp gaze made her feel weighed and judged, like some animal at the county fair, and she didn’t like it.

Gator swore under his breath when he saw his father walk through the door and tip his hat to the waitress, heading to his favourite booth.  He’d taken a gamble meeting Win there, hoping Roy would be having breakfast with Karen and the twins.

As soon as Roy noticed him, Gator nodded to him, stopping at the end of the table to greet him.

“Looks like we had the same idea today,” he chuckled, looping his thumbs through his belt loops as he shifted his weight from boot to boot, hoping Roy wouldn’t notice Win leaving, though she’d have to walk right past them to get to the door.

“Guess so,” Roy mused, half glancing over the menu, though he always ordered the same thing, when suddenly his eyes lifted, fixing on something just past Gator.  He could smell Win’s perfume as she passed and glanced over at her as she hesitated for a moment at the door before pushing it open.

Once the door shut, the bell on the handle chiming her departure, Roy glanced back up at him and nodded toward the seat across from him as the waitress came with a cup and her pot of coffee.

“Sit with me,” he murmured, and Gator did so, scooting into the booth and resting his arm across the back of the bench.

Roy waited for his coffee to be poured and the waitress to confirm his usual order before speaking, his gaze focused on the steaming cup in his hand.

“Am I to assume you expect me to believe that was merely a coincidence?” he murmured, taking a careful sip from his cup before his eyes flicked up to Gator's, his sharp gaze seeming to see right through him.

Gator shifted uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding eye contact.  “That what’s a coincidence?” he asked, frowning in confusion and Roy let out a disappointed sigh, thanking the waitress as she set his food in front of him.

“That was the girl I told you to stay away from,” he continued, taking a bite of the crispy strip of bacon.  “And you ignored my advice because–?  What, you think you know better than me?”

“I don’t know what you’re–” Gator mumbled, only for Roy to cut him off.

“Don’t insult my intelligence, son,” he snapped, his eyes boring into Gator’s.  “You’ve been coming home late, if at all, you’re neglecting your chores, you’re distracted,” he listed off, taking a bite of his eggs.  “It’s not hard to see where your head’s at.”

Gator opened his mouth, a slew of excuses ready on his tongue, but he quickly swallowed them as his father took a deep breath, as if deciding something.

“I suppose you are a man now, and you can make your own decisions, as long as you understand that she’s not proper wife material… as she is now.”

Gator frowned, just the barest downward twitch of lips and knitting of brow, but he didn’t argue.

“Now, I got two stipulations if you insist on continuing to see this girl,” Roy said, holding up two fingers.  “One,” he ticked off, “you pick up the slack with your chores on the ranch, and two–” he brought the second finger down as well– “you bring her to Sunday dinner so we can meet her properly.”

“Uh, I dunno if that’s such a good idea,” Gator muttered, earning himself another sharp look.

“You questioning my judgement?”

Gator gulped, shaking his head quickly.  “No!  No, it’s just… uh, I’m confused.  I thought you said–” he trailed off, stumbling over his own tongue and Roy let out a long suffering sigh.

“It’ll be good for her to spend some time around honest folk, and maybe Karen can show her how a proper woman acts,” he drawled, and Gator quickly nodded in understanding, though he already knew Win wasn’t gunna like it.

“Alright then, get goin’ now,” Roy said, nodding toward the door.  “We’ll see you and your girl Sunday.”

Gator nearly tripped climbing out of the booth, trying to figure out how to persuade Win to go.

When Gator showed up later that night–for it could be no one but Gator, with that booming cop’s knock–Win answered the door in a pair of shorts and one of his black tees he’d left behind, her nipples hard under the dark fabric, having forgone a bra when she’d thrown it on after her shower.  The pungent smell of weed clung to her, and Gator leaned against the door frame, unabashedly looking her up and down as he got a whiff.

“You been smokin’ in here, miss?” he drawled, his lips stretching into a sly grin and Win shrugged, not even bothering to deny it.

“You gunna arrest me, Deputy?” she asked, arching a challenging brow at him.

“I just might have to,” Gator replied, running his tongue over his molars as he shook his head in bemusement.

Win eyed him skeptically.  “You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you?” she asked, tugging him inside and shutting the door, pressing her back to it when Gator took a step closer, pressing his hands to either side of her head, boxing her in.

“Oh, you have no idea, Princess,” he drawled, watching her lips hungrily.

“I’m really not surprised,” she teased, slipping under his arm to flit past him, leaving him wanting more, and Gator let out a frustrated breath, toeing off his boots and shrugging out of his leather jacket before following her.

“You got any weed left?” he asked and Win threw her head back in laughter.

“You’re such a shit cop,” she snorted, pointing to her pipe laying on the coffee table next to her lighter.

“Hey, I’m the law, remember, sweetheart?” Gator scoffed, snatching the pipe and bringing the mouth to his lips.

“I’m not sure that’s how the law works,” Win murmured, rolling her eyes as Gator struggled to get the lighter to light, flicking the wheel several times before a flame appeared and he took a long draw.  

Win leaned against the wall, trying not to stare too intently when he finally blew the smoke out in a long stream, the effect somewhat ruined by the coughing fit that followed, and she snickered, shaking her head.

“I’ve got a frozen pizza and some wings in the oven,” she said, nodding toward the kitchen.  “You want something to drink?” she offered, telling herself she was just being a good host and not waiting on him hand and foot.

“Got any Mtn. Dew?” Gator asked, sinking onto the couch and grabbing the remote, flipping through the channels til he found something he liked.

Win reappeared several minutes later with two bottles, dropping one in Gator’s lap before plopping down next to him and taking a swig from her own.

“Die Hard, nice,” she murmured, snatching her lighter and the pipe from the table before leaning back and resting her legs in Gator’s lap, the light from the tv screen illuminating her face in the dark room as she took another hit.

She hadn’t been planning on getting high that night, but their near run in with Roy that morning had her nerves on edge and she’d ended up swinging by her dealer’s trailer on the way home before she realized that’s where she’d been headed.  And though she was curious as hell if the Sheriff had sussed them out, saying something to Gator after she’d left, she wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up.

It weren’t as if they were dating…

“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” she murmured, taking another swig of her Mtn Dew, her eyes finding his in the dim light.

Gator frowned in thought, his large hand resting on her ankle, thumb drawing circles against her cool skin.  “You know I used to play football?” he asked, not really waiting for her response before continuing.  “I was All County quarterback senior year, a real winner,” he boasted, his gaze turning far away, as if lost in memory.

“So you were a real hot shot, huh?” Win mused, having a bit of a hard time picturing it, if she was being honest.  “I’m surprised you didn’t have cheerleaders falling over you left and right,” she teased and Gator wrinkled his nose at her, clearly not amused.

“Oh, I did.  The only problem was, they were all members of the Abstinence Club,” he huffed.  “The only action I got was over the clothes and awkward handies while making out,” he admitted with a scowl, just waiting for Win’s amused laughter. 

“Aw, you poor thing,” she cooed instead, a hint of condescension in her tone, biting her lip to keep from giggling, just imagining Gator’s frustration.  “Weren’t there any freaky girls you could’ve gotten with?  You know, anti-social goth girls that wouldn’t turn their noses up at fucking the quarterback?” she wondered.

“Unfortunately, no,” Gator sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch.  “It’s a pity you didn’t go to high school with me.”

“You think I would’ve fucked you back then?” she teased and Gator snorted.

“Course you would’ve, you can’t keep your hands off me,” he boasted, a smug grin twisting his lips. “You’re such a shit,” Win scoffed, though she couldn’t hold back her answering grin, knowing he was probably right.

“Can I get another hit of that?” Gator asked, nodding to the pipe in her hand and Win followed his gaze, sitting up slightly.  Instead of handing it to him, however, she brought it to her mouth, lighting the bud and taking a long drawl, the light from the small flame illuminating her face.  Holding the smoke in her lungs, she crooked her finger, beckoning him closer, peering up at him through her lashes.

Frowning in confusion, Gator leaned in, gasping in surprise as Win tilted her head as if to kiss him, their lips nearly touching before slowly exhaling the stream of smoke into his mouth.  

Gator’s eyelids fluttered as he inhaled the pungent smoke, a soft groan catching in his throat before he surged forward the rest of the way, capturing Win’s lips in a searing kiss that took her just as off guard as she’d taken him, pinning her beneath him.

“That was fuckin��� hot,” Gator breathed between deepening kisses, his tongue writhing against hers, exploring her mouth boldly as his free hand traversed her body, slipping under the hem of her shirt to cover her breast, greedily massaging her beneath the dark fabric, his fingers tweaking her pert nipple, playing with her piercing to draw a desperate moan from her.

“Gator–” Win breathed, squirming beneath his touch, arousal pooling low in her gut and seeping through the thin fabric between her legs.

“Hmm?” he hummed, grinding against her, his bulge obvious beneath the rough fabric of his cargo pants and she whined as it pressed against her aching heat, the sudden shrill cry of the oven timer interrupting the moment.

“Shit, I gotta get the food out,” she groaned, half halfheartedly pushing against Gator, a gasp leaving her lips as his mouth found her pulse point, his canines sinking into her skin.

“Ignore it,” he mumbled, grinding harder against her as he pinched at her nipple, his tongue soothing the love bite at her throat.

“It’ll burn,” Win argued, biting back the moan that sprang to her lips before pushing Gator back, nearly kneeing him in the groin as she rolled out from under him.  He let out a frustrated growl, but the rumble in the pit of his stomach reminded him just how hungry he was, the smell from the kitchen making his mouth water.

“Win!” he called, palming himself over his pants before adjusting his half softened length.  “Hurry up, I’m starving,” he whined, leaning back against the couch to peer into the kitchen to see if she was coming.

“You’d get it faster if you got off your ass,” he called back, finally rounding the corner back to the sofa, two plates in hand.

“Oh, you’re an angel,” Gator cried, reaching for the plate she held just out of reach, waiting for a ‘thank you’.

“Close enough,” she snorted in amusement, letting him have his food before sitting back down next to him and propping her feet on the edge of the coffee table.

Silence fell as the two of them dug in, watching the movie as they ate.

“So…” Win mused around a mouthful of pizza, her eyes flicking from the tv screen to Gator.  “When’re we gunna talk about this kink you have with restraining me?” she asked, her lips twitching at the way he froze, half eaten wing still hanging from his sticky fingers.

“What?  Who says I—“ Gator cut off mid sentence at the knowing look in Win’s eyes.  “I dunno,” he mumbled, sucking the rest of the meat from the wing before dropping the bones to his plate.  “Just like the idea of being in control, I guess.  Like seeing you helpless,” he murmured, clearing his throat.

Win nodded.  “I like being helpless sometimes,” she mused, watching his reaction.  “Don’t see why we couldn’t try that sometime.”  She shrugged nonchalantly and Gator had to swallow, needing to work moisture back into his mouth.

“As long as you let me return the favour,” Win added, grabbing her pop bottle for a swig.  “You look awfully cute yourself when you’re squirming under me, whining for me to let you cum.”

Gator flushed, his eyes falling to his plate, not sure he wanted her to know how much he enjoyed that as well.

“Think we should decide on a safe word before we delve into those fantasies,” she mused.  “Maybe something simple as ‘yellow’ for slow down and ‘red’ for a hard stop,” she suggested. “Think you can remember that?”

“Yeah, course,” Gator huffed, rubbing at his nose with his knuckle before making to suck his fingers clean of sauce.

Before he could finish, Win caught his hand, wrapping her lips around the first finger, her tongue curling around his digit before hollowing her cheeks to suck, pulling his finger from her mouth with a soft pop before repeating the process with his next finger, her eyes not leaving his.

Gator’s mouth fell open as he watched, a moan catching in his throat.  “Fuck, Win,” he hissed, his cock once more straining against the confines of his pants.  “You really know how t’make me hard.”

Win smiled, leaning in to whisper in his ear once she’d finished sucking his fingers clean.  “Yeah well, I’m really fucking wet right now,” she breathed, licking a wet stripe along the shell of his ear.

“Oh shit–” Gator groaned, his eyelids fluttering as his hips gave an involuntary jerk.

“Are you gunna be a good boy for me?” Win asked, placing her hand over the bulge in his cargos.  “Gunna let me ride you?”

Gator let out a shaky breath, clearly itching to free his throbbing length, but holding back, waiting for Win’s permission.

“Uh huh, I’ll be good,” he whispered breathlessly, wetting his lips as he pleaded with his eyes.  “Need you so bad,” she whined and Win’s grin grew.  She loved that he was two sides of the same coin–cocky and demanding one minute and needy and submissive the next.

“Good boy,” she purred, grasping the hem of her shirt and lifting it over her head in one swift motion, letting it fall to the floor as she leaned in to kiss him, her hands slipping under his shirt as her tongue flicked against his, her palms sliding up his stomach and chest as she worked the tight fabric over his head.

Breaking the kiss just long enough to rid him of the garment, her mouth was back on his as her hands went to his pants, making quick work of his belt and zipper.  As soon as his cock was free, Win stood, hooking her thumbs under the elastic of her shorts and shimmying them down along with her soiled panties, letting Gator watch, his eyes caressing her body like a man starved before she crawled astride him, too needy to tease him any further.

“Need you,” she breathed against his lips, her tongue meeting his as she ground down against him, coating his twitching length in her slick.

Gator’s answering groan was quickly swallowed and his hands circled her hips tightly, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise as he guided her movements and Win reached between them to grasp his cock, lining him up with her slick entrance and sinking down onto him, their moans blending together.

“Feel so good,” Gator grunted, his mouth falling open as she began to ride him, her hips rolling fluidly against him, picking up speed as his gasp on her urged her on.

Not bothering to watch her volume, Win’s rising moans competed with the sloppy sound of her pussy as her smooth movements turned harried, instead bouncing in his lap, chasing her pleasure as he drowned in it.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck,” he gasped, exploding inside her without warning, her tits bouncing in his face as she milked him, pumping her fuller with each bounce.

“Shit—“ Gator whined, his head falling back against the couch as he panted for breath, kicking himself for cumming too soon.

“Sorry, I—“ he began, wincing as he softened inside her and Win surprised him by pressing a weary kiss to his lips, her sweat slicked forehead falling forward to rest against hers.

“Didn’t mean to cum so soon…”

Win shook her head.  “It’s kinda hot,” she murmured, working moisture back into her mouth.  “My pussy’s too good, you couldn’t hold back,” she said, her lips quirking slightly.  “You know, there are other ways you can help me finish,” she added with a shrug and it was Gator’s turn to wet his lips as a thought occurred to him.

“Sit on my face.”

Win’s brows rose at how fast he suggested it.  “You sure?” she asked.  Gator’d had yet to test his oral skills and Win wasn’t exactly expecting much, but the husky way he said it made her stomach flip.

“Okay,” she breathed, helping him slide off the couch to the floor, his head resting back against the couch cushions while Win hovered over him, his spunk mixed with her arousal dripping down the inside of her thighs and he groaned at the sight, hooking his arms around her legs boxing in his face, bringing her down to his mouth.

“Oh–” she gasped as he kissed her, giving her clit an experimental lick, his tongue seeking her sensitive nub, swirling around it as he savoured her taste.  It was so much sweeter than he’d expected and he moaned into her cunt, his eyelids fluttering as he grew bolder, tilting his chin upwards as his tongue pushed into her folds, exploring her already messy sex with fervor, his nose bumping against her clit with each movement.

“Y-yeah, yeah just like that,” Win murmured, her hands gripping the couch back as she rolled her hips, grinding against Gator’s face in her desperation for more friction.

His fingers bit into her thighs as he feasted on her, using his entire face to pleasure her, past caring about the mess that smeared his chin and cheeks, each gasp and moan he pulled from her felt like a badge of honour, driving him on, his tongue delving deeper before returning to her throbbing clit, lapping at it with broad relentless rolls of his tongue, breathing heavily through his nose as he drew her bundle of nerves between his lips to suck until she was shuddering, her thighs clamping tighter around his head.

“Oh fuck, GATOR–!” she cried, her hips stuttering as her climax hit her and she threw her head back, her entire body going rigid.

“Holy shit,” she whispered, collapsing to the couch and letting Gator breathe.  “You can say that again,” he exclaimed, grabbing his shirt to wipe his face and taking a swig of pop before turning to look at her, a smug smirk gracing his swollen lips.  “Seems like you enjoyed that,” he drawled, climbing to the couch with her and getting comfortable, laying half draped over her where she lay, their legs tangling as he snuggled closer.

“Don’t get cocky, Tillman,” Win teased, running her fingers through his mussed hair, the gelled strands half falling into his face as he rested his chin against her chest.

“Too late,” he chuckled huskily, licking his lips.  “You taste really good, by the way,” he mused.

“Glad you think so,” she murmured, relaxing back against the throw pillow behind her, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment.  “That was pretty hot how into it you were.”

Gator shrugged.  “I like making you feel good.”

Win hummed, her fingers trailing down his smooth back, tracing lines between the dark moles and freckles that littered his skin.

“So, I was thinking… you should come to the ranch for Sunday dinner,” he murmured after a moment, his downturned eyes flicking up to hers hesitantly and Win frowned, her brows pinching.

“Gator, are you crazy?  That sounds like a terrible idea,” she exclaimed, half pushing up to gape at him.  “What about Roy?  I thought the last thing we wanted was for him to know about this?” she asked, gesturing between the two of them.

Gator winced, hoping she wouldn’t freak out too much when he told her his dad already knew about them.  ���Actually, this was his idea…” he replied reluctantly.

“Really?  Somehow I have a hard time believing that,” Win huffed, an uneasy feeling bubbling in her gut and she let out a soft groan.  “That’s what he said to you after I left this morning, wasn’t it?  He figured it out,” she murmured, reading the truth in his guilt filled gaze.

Gator nodded, the lines furrowing his brow deepening.  “He said he wants to meet the girl I’ve been sneaking around with.”

A heavy rush of air whistled through Win’s teeth and she pressed a hand to her face.  “I dunno, Gator, this all seems very official, and we’re–hell, I don’t really know what we are,” she exclaimed, letting her hand drop while her gaze instinctively sought his in the dim room.

“What do you want us to be?” he asked softly, a worried frown knitting his brows as he waited for her answer, his large brown eyes watching her earnestly.

“Aw Jesus, don’t do that,” Win groaned, snapping her eyes shut against the sight, too much for her to take in the moment—her chest tightening with an emotion she didn’t want to acknowledge.

“Do what?” Gator countered, nearly pouting, his frown deepening and Win groaned again when she opened her eyes.

“You know what!” she whined.  “Stop looking at me with those damn eyes of yours.”

“What’s wrong with ‘em?” Gator asked, a small smirk playing at his lips when he realized the power he had over her with just a look.

“They’re dangerous!” Win exclaimed, trying to turn away, but Gator was having none of it.

“Yeah, and why’s that?” he countered, grabbing her chin to force her to face him and she huffed a sigh.

“Because they’re more beautiful than they have any fuckin’ right to be,” Win breathed, wincing when Gator’s grin widened.  

“Fine!” she huffed, cornered.  “I like seeing you, alright?” she conceded, feeling her cheeks burn.  “But I like how easy this is–how it’s been–and-and I’m afraid putting a label on it is gunna complicate everything.  I don’t wanna get hurt,” she explained, her words growing smaller at the end of her outburst and Gator’s expression softened.

“I don’t wanna hafta hide you anymore, Win.  I wanna show off my girl.  Fuck, I want everyone to know you’re mine.  Is that so bad?” he murmured, searching her face.

“Your girl?” Win scoffed before softening, her resolve weakening—those two little words sending her stomach fluttering.

“C’mon Winnie, be the Ripley to my John McClane,” he uttered with all seriousness, using the line from one of her favourite songs against her and Win barked an incredulous laugh, her doubt forgotten for a moment.  

“I can’t believe you actually just made that reference!” she exclaimed, hiding her face against his forehead and Gator stiffened.

“Hey, I listened to that mix you made me.  Some of it was weird, granted, but I liked that line!” he yelped defensively.

“Now, how the hell can I say no when you compare me to one of the most badass women in movie history?” Win murmured, shaking her head in bemusement.

“You can’t.”  Gator shrugged, half holding his breath as he waited for her answer.

“Alright, fine, I’ll be your girl,” Win relented, rolling her eyes and Gator sobered at her flippant tone, the amusement draining from his face.

"Don’t get my hopes up if you're just gonna leave like everyone else,” he murmured, and Win felt a block of ice drop into her stomach.  All this time she’d been so focused on how he could hurt her, never giving any thought to the fact that she could hurt him just as badly, that his feelings for her might be that deep, and it took her by surprise at just how serious he was.

“I won’t,” she breathed, turning his face toward her, her eyes searching his, the vulnerability in his gaze twisting her heart.  They’d never talked about his mother before, but if her friends were to be believed, she’d apparently run off when he was young, leaving him with his father.

“I mean it,” she insisted, her breath wavering.  “Just… don’t make me regret it,” she whispered and Gator nodded.

“I won’t,” he echoed, letting out a breath she hadn’t noticed he’d been holding.  “Does this mean you’ll come?” he asked and Win sighed.

“Yeah, but they’re gunna hate me,” she reminded him, anxiety prickling her gut.

“Just don’t get political, and wear your nicest dress and those boots you look so good in,” he said, the tension leaching from his body as he rested his cheek against her chest, nuzzling closer to her.

“I hope you know what you’re talking about,” Win whispered, but she felt herself relaxing as well, slipping her arms around him, the weight of his embrace calming her somewhat.

“Trust me,” he murmured.

Win squeezed her eyes shut, hoping she could—hoping she wasn’t making a mistake.  She knew this meant she’d be walking willingly into the wolves’ den, but at least Gator would be there with her.  He wouldn’t feed her to the wolves.

At least, she hoped so.

⇾ taglist. @heartbreak-sandwich @cherrychapsticksteve @super-unpredictable98 @b1tchy3lf

[sophieinwonderland]

Whoo, this is gonna get long, but I wanted to ask your opinion on this.

A long time ago (when I was 10? 11? I was really young and had just escaped an abusive environment so the memories are fuzzy) I had imaginary friends. A lot of them. I was always "in control" of them. At least for a while?

Eventually my friends started to act differently. One of my imaginary friends stopped being as quiet and became like a father figure to me. He would coach me on things and give general advice in situations- which didn't make much sense to me, since sometimes his coaching included things I genuinely didn't know.

Another one I remember vividly- Cordelia. I really loved her. I originally made her as an imaginary friend because I wanted someone cool to talk to, but she became more like my mom and would comfort me when I was upset without me controlling her to do so.

When I was 13 or 14 or so, I got really anxious about the idea of having imaginary friends I couldn't control, and pushed them away and convinced myself they weren't real. It's been years since then. I always assumed I was somehow "parroting" them without myself realizing, but from what I've read on your blog, I'm starting to wonder if they were sentient. I still feel like they're around sometimes, but I also wonder if they're truly gone- I hope not, but at the same time, it's been literal years and I don't think people can just come back like that. I'm just very lost and confused- any idea on what I should do? My entire identity here is kind of shaking.

I've heard stories from so many tulpa systems who made "imaginary friends" when they were young that were sentient, and they managed to bring those friends back as full tulpas even after a decade or more.

I think your friends are still there. Especially if you still feel their presence with you. If you want them back in your life, try talking with them again and see what happens.

Good luck! 💖

[mutable-manifestation]

Hello, I’m Ameera a 23 years old Muslim lesbian who is trying to come out, I’ve been in the closet with my girlfriend for way too long, because of how dangerous and hard it is to come out as a lesbian to a religious Muslim family, but me and my girlfriend have decided to do whatever it takes and risk it all to come out, do you mind supporting and encouraging us?, though I know we all have what we dealing with, so I’m not imposing we just need all the support and encouragement we can get, check my pinned post for more information on how you can support, if you are a Muslim queer and you are out, please help with tips on how to make it less complicated, any word of advice is also really needed, we really wanna come out but we need y’all 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ pride please come through for us, I believe pride is for all

Hi Ameera!

I saw on one of your other posts that you already have an exit strategy and are prepared to move out and cut contact should that be necessary for your safety, so I don't see any reason why you shouldn't come out if it's what you want!

I shall be wishing for your family to surprise you with acceptance and support, and for your contingencies to be unnecessary.

I am a Christian rather than a Muslim, so I can't speak to the specifics of your situation, but - if you haven't already - I'd recommend looking into what your religious text(s?) say about the LGBT+ community.

The first thing I did when I realized I was a lesbian was research.

The most I'd ever heard about gay people growing up was "gay marriage bad >:(" and even that only seemed to crop up around when gay marriage beginning to get legalized, so I looked into all of the relevant verses and tried to reconcile my sexuality with my faith.

I didn't want to go looking for validation, I just wanted answers, information, so I could gather my thoughts from there. So I looked at both sides.

The arguments I found that explained the bible as not against LGBT+ were all rooted in study and logic - meanings of words that were oversimplified in translation, historical contexts that I had been lacking prior, etc. All of it was rooted in trying to understand the original texts as and when they were written.

The arguments against LGBT+ all seemed to parrot the modern bible and "homosexuality is a sin" with no other arguments - or at least, no other arguments that could be applied only to homosexual people (example: "but gay couples can't have children!!!" yeah okay neither can infertile/sterile people and they can still get married/it isn't a sin for them to be in relationships). They were also all written with a hostile, hateful undertone (or overtone in some cases). Which. Christians are supposed to be known for our love, so any rhetoric based in hatred... and not even logic to back it? yeah. No.

The arguments explaining gay = okay were all based in love, compassion, and understanding - in logic and research.

So.

It was easy enough for me to reconcile my faith and my sexuality because, as it happens, there was nothing incompatible about the two!

(To any side b or x christians who may read this: this isn't an invite to debate, you literally cannot change my mind and also I will simply block you. This is not my Theological Discussions account)

I'm not quite sure how Islam sees the LGBT+ community in terms of religious rhetoric - from my (very) brief research the only thing I could find was a quote or two about Sodom and Gomorrah, which I've seen plenty of break-downs regarding, though what the Quran (or other Islamic texts?) says may differ.

Once you've done your research and come to terms with the information as needed (again, if you haven't already), I'd write a list of common questions and arguments you're family might make and come up with responses.

I don't know your family. They may shut down and simply tell you to get out and never return. (the worst case scenario [I hope - I don't know your family but if you think there is any possibility of physical violence I would definitely recommend either a video call - so you can see facial expressions - or staying near an exit while coming out])

They might ask you for space to think (okay scenario - kinda in limbo here).

They may surprise you with acceptance (best case scenario)

But they may ask questions and try to argue (middling case scenario).

They may ask things like why you're gay, argue that it's against your religion, etc. In this case, you have a chance to talk them into being supportive.

So.

Lists.

Brainstorm questions with your girlfriend - as many as you both can think of - and go through them. A lot of answers will be easy, some you might need to think more about/do research on (at least, that's my experience). But at least you'll both be armed with all the information you might need in the middling scenario (and it makes it harder for them to make you doubt yourselves, if that's something either of you might struggle with).

Of course, if you've already accepted the possible need to cut contact and gotten ready to move out you might've already thought of all this. Still, I hope this has been of at least some help to you, even if that's just by serving as a reminder that you aren't alone in this and that there's a community out here that supports you.

I'll be wishing you luck; I hope both you and your girlfriend get the best case scenario :)

[sakis-sweets]

Hey do you do Yansim Character x Reader?

If you can, can you do a Toga one?

ahahahahahaha you have unlocked my secret talent and hobby - reader insert fanfictions

every time i've found a lick of internet fame it has been for x reader fic, so i hope this one lives up to your hopes!

aaaaaaand this is also the last request that i received! i've gotten a few more since closing them so i'll save them for the next time i open requests but right now i can't say when that is. thanks to everyone who asked for a oneshot and i hope you all liked them!

ok now for the fic

You confidently stepped onto the grounds of Akademi at 6:30 AM, meters behind the student council. You couldn’t join their meeting, but you could still do favors for the teachers. Every second of your time was effort spent towards securing your future; getting into Akademi was step one, and joining the student council would be step two. There wasn’t exactly a spot open, but if you proved your dedication and your worth as a model Akademi student, perhaps they’d let you join anyway. Besides, it would make your mother happy, and that’s all you really needed.

After running whatever errands you could find, you stood with the gym teacher to welcome the other students into Akademi and let her complain about her desk work. If a student tripped on the road, you were there. If a shoe locker got jammed, you were there. Every little bit would raise your reputation and social standing, nudging the lock to the student council. The teachers were already very impressed with you, it wouldn’t be long before you won over the students. Your grades were already pristine. Nothing would stand in your way.

Except for this student who had just bumped into you while you walked around school looking for things to do. “Sorry!” he said with a smile. 

“Oh, it’s fine!” 

He stepped to the left. You stepped to the right. You both took one step in the opposite direction. The dance went on for a moment until he laughed. “Allow me, I’m the one who bumped into you.”

You tilted your head, peering at him. Perhaps this was an opportunity. “You seem distracted. Is something bothering you?”

“Bothering me?” he parroted. “Hm… I guess you could say so. I’m not the type to dump my problems onto strangers, though.”

Bingo! “We’re not strangers!” you insisted. “I know exactly who you are - Toga Tabara, class 3-2. You’re in the room above me, so you’re my senpai. Schoolmates aren’t strangers at all!”

Toga stepped back as you leaned in, an awkward smile on his face. “You’re very forward, huh? Is it normal to pay that much attention to other students…?”

Oops - you’d made him uncomfortable. You stepped back and cleared your throat to calm yourself. “Uh, well, maybe not. I just make a point of it so I can help out.”

Toga blinked before snapping his fingers in understanding. “I’ve heard of you! You’re the tr- uh, the good samaritan!”

“So my reputation precedes me! That’s good to hear. My point being - if you need help, I’m the one for the job. Do you wanna sit and talk somewhere?”

Toga stared at you for a moment in contemplation before shrugging. “‘Guess we both don’t have anything better to do, so sure.” 

The two of you walked away from prying eyes to the western fountain and sat at one of the benches there. “So what’s on your mind?” you asked. Toga began to explain that he was feeling anxious about graduation creeping up on him since he didn’t know what he wanted to do after Akademi. He’d already tried all of the clubs the school had to offer, but none of them piqued his interest, so now all he could do was pace the grounds and think about it. “My parents aren’t really pressuring me about it, which is probably a good thing, but it’d be nice to get some advice and support too.”

“Well, that’s why I’m here…” 

Toga raised an eyebrow. “You sound kind of uncertain.”

He was right. You’d always known what your life would hold. Be a model student, take any opportunity you could, increase your social currency, and profit. The four-step plan had been drilled into you since you were a child. You couldn’t relate to Toga’s struggles at all, but that didn’t mean you were ready to give up. “Nope, I got this under control! Let’s see, you didn’t like any of the clubs…” You searched your mind for solutions, but none came up easily. You rubbed your thumb over your knuckles - you had a habit of chewing on them when you were deep in thought, and your mother had scolded you for not taking better care of your hands, so you tried to beat the habit. But the urge distracted you from thinking clearly.

After a while, Toga smiled as if he had given up. “Like I said, it’s not an easy-”

“So!” you interrupted, standing up from the bench. “I know exactly what I want to do, and I talk to lots of different people every day, so… how about you follow me around and help me out? Just for a couple of days! Maybe you’ll find something you want to do!”

Toga blinked. “Uh… will that really work?”

“Of course!” you lied. 

Staring at you a moment before, Toga sighed. “Well, I’ll try anything once.”

You clapped your hands together. “Let’s start tomorrow, then! Make sure you’re at school by 6:30 tomorrow, okay?”

“Wait - you go to school that early every day?”

“Of course! I gotta help out the teachers. It’s not that much earlier; don’t worry about it. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Satisfied with your decision, you walked off to find the next person who needed help. Hopefully their problem won’t be as difficult.

~

As promised, Toga showed up at school about the same time you did, and he helped you with everything you usually did. You were surprised to find that teaching him was actually kind of fun, and it even made the work a little easier. He also helped you with the various tasks students asked you to do and kept up a cheerful personality the whole time to make them feel more reassured. By the end of the day, the two of you had accomplished a lot together.

You stretched as you headed to the shoe lockers. “That was a productive day! Thanks for all of your help, Tabara-kun. How did you like it?”

“Hmm… I don’t know how much I’m into doing odd jobs for other people. Do you really do this every day?”

“Of course! I have to do this much if I want to get into the student council.”

“Is that why you try so hard?”

“Obviously! If I want to build up my social currency and get a good job after graduating university, I need to secure the most lucrative positions around me.” When you looked up at Toga, you saw him frowning. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“No, no… well-” But before he could continue, you heard snickering nearby.

“Oh my gawd,” you heard a familiar drawl drone. “Did they really drag Tabara into their shenanigans? I wonder what that’s all about?”

“I heard Tabara was in every single club last year. Looks like he has nothing better to do than follow the tryhard around!”

“It’s so annoying how they keep up this can-do attitude. Like, get a life? Everyone’s sick of their fake-ass personality already.”

“Oh my gawd, Musume, that’s so mean!” The two girls laughed as they walked away. They hadn’t even tried to keep their voices down. You stood in place, staring down at the ground.

Toga scoffed. “I cannot believe they’re just allowed to parade around acting like such bitches. Are you okay?”

“Of course I am,” you said. “Yesterday… you almost called me tryhard, right? I know that’s what everyone thinks of me. But I can’t stop until I’m in the student council. It’s for my future. Mom told me that people would be jealous of my drive. That’s all it is.”

Toga frowned. “Your mom, huh? Is this her idea?”

You shrugged. “It’s normal for a parent to plan for their child’s future, right?”

“Wait - it is, but to this extent? You shouldn’t be doing all of this unless you want to. I mean, do you really need to get into the student council for your work? What are you planning to do?”

“Obviously, I’m…” You trailed off. For some reason, you couldn’t remember what exact occupation you were going for. What were you going to major in in high school? Which career would give you the most upward mobility and the most social respect? What had mom said? She hadn’t said anything about that. You had no idea.

Oh.

You laughed. “That’s… that’s really embarrassing. I’m sorry, Tabara-kun. Looks like we’re the same, actually. I’ve always been told what to do, so I can’t decide for myself what I want. I should put a stop to this already… You can go home, if you want. I kept you too long.” You tried to keep your wavering voice steady. You didn’t want him to see your shame. You’d already shown him that you were a prideful hypocrite; he shouldn’t see your weak side.

But as you stood there quivering, Toga didn’t leave. He stood right next to you, wordless. Then, he spoke up. “I think… I think I actually know what I want to do.”

You looked at him, incredulous. “H-How did you decide?”

“Well… watching how eagerly you helped everyone today inspired me. I thought to myself that I wish I had that kind of drive, and then I thought about how fun it was to follow you around. So I’ve decided that, no matter where you go or what you do, I’m going to keep following you. That way we can figure everything out together.” Toga grinned. “How’s that?”

You blinked. “You… You can’t be serious.”

“As a heart attack,” Toga replied. “So don’t give up just yet, okay?”

Your brow creased and you felt tears burn your eyes. Swiping at your face before they could fall, you managed a smile. “Well, I don’t really have any right to stop you, so go ahead.”

“How about we meet up before we get to school tomorrow? Let’s get here at the same time as everyone else and talk about what it means to be happy. Actually, let me give you my phone number.” 

Swept away by him, you traded contact information and agreed to everything he suggested. He really was planning to spend every free moment together. You laughed. “You really go all in once you’re passionate about something, don’t you?”

“I learned from the best,” he said with a wink. Your heart skipped a beat, and for a split second you understood why Toga would decide to follow you. 

The two of you didn’t know what the future would hold - how to talk to your mom, what to do after graduation, all of it. But at the very least you wouldn’t be isolated by your indecision. Maybe that could be enough for now.