#I've heard that this is a common thing when transitioning and i was all like “nah I've made peace with it”

[4ce160]

u h

[genderqueerdykes]

is there anything that has happened since starting T that you didn't expect to happen? or that you feel you were not adequately informed about (by doctors, peers, etc), and that really should be more common knowledge?

that's such a great question, thank you for asking! that's a huge yes from me! here's what i experienced that i was definitely caught off guard by and not warned about that presented some challenges:

I was not told that because my body is changing, growing, and adjusting to a new balance in my endocrine system that i would be very exhausted for quite a while. i already have chronic fatigue but i basically struggled to get out of bed for about 2 weeks after starting T- i wasn't depressed, i was just exhausted. this is due to the fact that my muscles were becoming denser and rearranging themselves, my facial and body structure were changing, i was growing more hair, etc. that takes a lot of energy!

Similarly to the point above, no one told me that it would make you hungry as hell, and require you to eat a lot more. if you feel like you're "over eating" after just starting testosterone, you're probably not- your base caloric intake needs to increase because you are literally growing and changing, and also, high testosterone bodies tend to need more calories anyways

Body hair growth is ITCHY!!!! and sometimes even painful! growing hair in sensitive areas like your armpits, crotch and ass can be extremely uncomfortable if not painful at times. I've heard from even cis men who have told me that growing their ass hair was extremely painful and uncomfortable due to how that area is configured- if you find that hair growth is uncomfortable this is pretty normal, but always seek help if it becomes unbearable or you feel there are ingrown hairs. Also nose hair and ear hair become more of a thing, now

Testosterone will thicken your vocal cords and drop your voice, but you also have to teach yourself how to speak from your chest, or how to drop your voice to sit in a lower range naturally or else you will still sound pretty similar to your pre-transition voice, unless that is your goal. The effects are very strong, but many transmascs*, trans folk* etc. don't see as much change as they would if they also trained their voice at the same time while it's dropping

Your boobs will become flatter and sometimes smaller and a lot saggier. This is normal!

Whenever i re-start testosterone and when i started it for the first time, i had some pretty heavy menstrual periods for a while; sometimes your body reacts in the opposite way at first before totally stopping your periods altogether. it's almost like "rebound" symptom, if you know what that mean

Restless energy will very much become a thing, if you notice you're starting to get pissed off and can't place a finger on why you feel agitated and like you're going to explode, you might just need to do some physical activity for a while

that's all i could think of for now, but if i think of anything else, i'll be sure to add it to this post! thanks for asking, i hope this was informational! good luck out there in your journey!

[gguk-n]

Balancing Act (Daniel Riccardo x Jung Hoseok's manager!Reader)

No face claim. Pictures from Pinterest

Wishing Daniel all the best with his future endeavours 😭😭

Series Masterlist

{Reader's POV}

When I had joined BigHit, I has started working as an assistant to BTS's manager. He was a kind and helpful man, who made transitioning to the job so easy. The boys were also very kind and understanding. It was a blast to work with them honestly. Later, as I gained more experience I was assigned to other groups. I did miss hanging out with the boys; I missed Hobi the most.

After I had stopped working with BTS, that was when I realised that I had a crush on Hoseok. I told myself it was due to the close proximity or the fact that he was just kind, but he was kind to everyone. And I decided to bury those feelings since K-Pop agencies didn't take dating lightly. Even though I barely saw Hobi at this point, my heart would always beat really hard and I would find myself looking for him in common spaces.

Whenever Hobi had individual schedules, I was brought back. The first time I had to work with him after I realised that I love him was nerve wrecking to say the least but Hobi's energy made me feel right at ease and I've never felt so relaxed before. I practically became his personal manager after Hobi started having individual schedules. He was a joy to be around and his energy and laughter was infectious. The tiny crush I had denied having had turned into a full blown infatuation. But, what was I supposed to do when Hobi would smile and sweetly greet me, even going as far to get me coffee. I couldn't not love him.

I was travelling with Hobi for his performances and the final promotion shooting before he was supposed to go for his mandatory military enlistment when I realised I had to tell him. The major reason being that I felt like maybe he liked me. It was the way his eyes would look at me or the way he would softly utter my name. I just felt it in my bones, he liked me. Oh, how wrong I was.

"Hope, congratulations on a successful promotion and preparing so much for ARMY" I said patting his back. "Thanks. I couldn't have done it without you" he laughed his infectious belly laugh. "No no, you are very talented. You could've managed with out me" I insisted. "Nope, my english is so bad, I would've never left my hotel room if not for you" he reasoned. I smiled at him, this was the right moment. "Don't mention it Hobi, just doing my job. I wanted to talk to you about something" I said, it made my tummy rumble and knot up. "Sure" he said turning his full attention on me. I breathed in deeply before saying, "I like you a lot, I've liked you for a while. Will you go out with me?" I asked looking at my feet. I heard Hobi sigh, this wasn't a good thing; "I'm sorry, Manager Y/L/N." he mumbled. The last name hurt. "I've never liked you that way and I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression. You are a good friend and colleague who I'm grateful to have but I don't feel that way" he apologised. I laughed dryly, "Yeah, it's okay." I sighed trying to hold back tears. "Let's still be friends. I don't want to lose a friend because of my stupid mistake" I croaked out. "You won't. I promise" he said trying to hug me. I walked back. "I have to give the company report on your schedule and stuff. Good luck with the military. I'll see you once you're back" I shouted out backing away. I had tears in my eyes as I turned the corner.

I may have cried myself to sleep for a few days after that but knowing Hoseok was leaving for the military and I wouldn't have to see him for a while made things easier. I knew I needed a change of scenery and pace so I took a few months off and went on a vacation.

I was in Spain when I met Daniel. He was charming, charismatic and easy to get along with. He would make me laugh and had great joy remembering how we met. "Excuse me" I asked tapping the tall man in front of me. He was wearing a hat and sun glasses. "Hi, Nice to meet you. Would you like a photograph or an autograph?" he asked turning around. I was so confused. "No, I just wanted directions. Can you help?" I asked. He tipped his sunglasses down his nose, scanned me up and down, "You are breath taking" he whispered. I felt a blush creep up my face. "Thank you" I mumbled pointing to a name on my phone, "Do you know where this is?" I asked. "Sadly, I don't but my friend does." he said calling his friend 'Carlos', he sounded Spanish when he spoke to me and gave me the directions. I thanked the two men and started walking in the directions when the taller man with an Australian accent ran up to me, "Hey! I'm Daniel and I don't know if this is crazy but you are so pretty and I just can't let you walk away so would you like to go on a date with me?" he asked. "Sorry, I'm trying to get over someone right now" I said apologetically. "Nothing better than a shoulder to lean on as you get over a stupid man" he winked. "Let's have a drink together. You can tell me all about your relationship woes and I will patiently wait for when you are ready to date me" he laughed. "I don't drink with strangers" I pointed out, walking away.

After that, I met him in Austria again. It was as if the stars were aligning and that's when I finally agreed to have coffee with him. He was a great listener and would give good advice. As I spoke to him and got to know him, we did end up on a date, a few weeks after Austria. I was continuing my trip in Europe and he had work in Europe, it seemed. It was only after a few dates, did he tell me that he was a Formula One Driver. I almost didn't believe him until I Googled him. I may have spent way too much of my time watching Daniel Riccardo funny videos and his interviews and his race highlights.

We decided to keep our relationship on the down low for a while since I did have to go back to work after my vacation. The vacation was the best thing I did for myself. Daniel would visit me if he was at a race near by which was many months later since he was in Singapore and Japan but I cherished every moment I got to spend with him. After his season was over, he was in Seoul to spend some of his holidays with me. I loved waking up to Daniel in bed or to a nice cooked meal when I got back from work. He would joke about being my stay at home wife and we would laugh as we enjoyed the meal. We would explore the streets of South Korea and even going on small weekend getaways so I could show Daniel around.

He did return to Australia to spend time with his family but we would constantly be texting each other or on call. After almost a year of dating, Daniel asked me to come to a race of his, specifically Spain since that was the country where we first met. I cleared up my calendar and I was off.

danielricciardo

Liked by y/n.y/l/n and 1,298,032 others

danielriccardo Happy 1 year baby!!🥰🥰I've never been happier than I've been with you!! I love you!!❤️❤️

y/n.y/l/n aww!! You make me the happiest. Love you too babe❤️❤️ landonorris both of you are like the otters that hug each other while floating away.🫢Congratulations btw❤️ maxverstappen1 congratulations to the cute couple❤️Hope you won't forget me Daniel🥲 user7 OMG!! They are literally the same version of each other🥹🥹 user8 I need a boyfriend like Daniel😭😭 user9 The photography skills😘😘 user10 It's so cute!! Congratulations on your 1 year anniversary❤️❤️

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by danielriccardo, uramyhope and 356,930 others

y/n.y/l/n Happy 1 year to the man who never fails to make my heart flutter!!😭😭Thank you for being the best boyfriend ever!!😘😘Love you more than I can explain🥰🥰

danielriccardo you're gonna make me cry.😭Love you most!!❤️❤️ y/bff/user both of you are so cute, I'm feeling very single😭😭 user11 I've known her since she started in BigHit, can't believe I might watch her get married😭 user12 both of them are happy viruses😌😌 user13 cutest couple on and off the grid🥹🥹 user14 Hybe should sign Daniel, he can be their model😏😏 user15 they are making me believe in love🥺🥺

After the Spanish race, I wasn't able to join him any other races due to work until that fateful call; "hi babe" I chirped. "hey" he greeted, his voice heavy. "What happened?" I asked. "Nothing" he hummed. "Don't lie to me" I reprimanded. "Nothing gets past you, does it?" he chuckled. "Nope" I grinned. "Now spill Danny" I prompted. "It's just.... they might be booting me by the next race" he sulked. "What? Are they crazy? How could they do that? Is this allowed? Can I file a complaint?" I rambled. He laughed. "No, and it's okay. It was gonna happen, I had a feeling" he said. "Now I feel bad, I should've taken time off to see my wonderful boyfriend race" I sulked. "It's okay, you can come to Singapore" he pointed out. "yes!! We'll celebrate!! It's your last race in F1 and we're going to go out with a bang" I said already making plans in my head. Daniel smiled at me, "I can't wait"

I flew to Singapore on Thursday; I will always regret not going to more of his races. We had a blast, there was a rumour going around that Daniel was leaving but there was no official announcement so he couldn't say anything. I spent the better half of the weekend consoling Daniel and trying to make the best of the situation. After the race and the interviews, we walked out of the paddock hand in hand, "I'm so proud of you. Being in a sport for 12-13 years and giving it your all. Being smart, talented and wonderful, being one of the best drivers and helping others learn from you all with a smile is hard, in any field let alone something like formula one. Being a friend when you are all competitors is a talent. I love you so much for doing so well" I said, stopping to cup his cheeks and kissing him. "I love you Y/N" he said in tears. "I love you more" I smiled. "No more crying, you are the best driver" I stated. "To you" he corrected. "And that's all that matters Riccardo" I pointed out. "yes it does" he hummed and started walking out hand in hand. "I'm gonna mooch off you now" he laughed. "I will gladly let you mooch off me" I smiled. "Love you Dan" I said taking his hand to my lips and pressing a kiss. "And I love you" he kissed my hand.

We were both saps but we were each others sap. I couldn't have hoped to meet someone better than him and some one who loves me more than him.

[paper-mario-wiki]

hey, can I ask you for some advice? sorry if this is uncalled for or you just can't answer this, I understand if so

how did you work up the courage to actually get to HRT so fast? I've found out I was a trans woman around when I was 15 and im about to have my 23rd birthday, and due to my financial/working/academic/housing (I live w my fairly conservative parents) situation it does not look like it's in the cards for me any time soon. but also I feel like I should just try to find a way and try to start out ASAP, for the sake of my own happiness. but also im afraid of whatll happen if things go Topsy turvy and I need housing from a family that thinks I'm a freak. how did you do it? again, apologies if this ask feels unwarranted or to big to ask to "Funny lady play tf2 dot blog", but I'm fine if this doesn't see an answer

First of all, I don't have insurance, so keep in mind that I did it out of pocket (note: I am broke).

I used Zocdoc (America only, sorry) to find a hormone therapy consultation, went to that appointment, and they referred me to an endocrinologist. After I got some blood tests done, I got prescribed a 30 day supply of sublingual Estradiol for about $16, again, without insurance. Now, this is of course in Biden's Seattle so it might not be as easy where you are. But at least for me, the process from booking the first appointment, all the way to taking the first pill was about half a month, because I got lucky finding a doctor. During covid, according to my endocrinologist, there was a HUGE explosion of people wanting to medically transition, so a very common thing I've heard is that a lot of doctors are booked out for months. I was lucky enough to get this appointment on Sep 1st, because the next person available in my area wouldnt have gotten me in until November.

Critically, here's my main piece of advice: You can't start until you take the first real action towards accomplishing it outside of your head. You can think, and plan, and crystalize how great it would be if it happened, but you have to actually make the first step and google "HRT doctors in my area", and schedule an appointment. To do it, you must first do it. This goes for many things in life. Simply starting the processes instead of keeping them in my head had me accomplishing many things I never thought I actually would, like starting HRT, going to university in Japan, and moving to Seattle.

Many people like me, including maybe you, are really good at getting in your own head and thinking of every possible way something could go wrong, or could be denied to you. And you get so tied up in the reasoning that you forget about the Doing. To the best of your ability, try to stop thinking, and just start doing. Anything. Choose to do something that you have wanted to for a while. Just one thing. Doesn't have to be buying a plane ticket to France, or confessing a huge secret, maybe start with that thought you had the other day of "ya know I bet pottery on those big goofy wheels is fun" and google 'pottery wheels near me' and see where it takes you. It's easier than you'd think to try. And who knows, at the end of this process maybe you'll have a beautiful vase. Or, even better, a vase with a personality, flaws, and a new hobby that you're excited to get better at.

[permasilly]

TRANSAuDHD TiPS (from a cisAuDHD)

For all you TransAutisticADHD out there :3

SENSORY ISSUES

I personally use many types of aids for that such ad chewelry (jewelry made for chewing), fidget toys, specific clothing, weightened blankets, etc!

For the fidget toys, I personally carry around a side bag (themed of my special interests) full of many different kinds of fidget toys!

I also wear fidget kandi around :3

As for specific clothing try and wear the same clothing (especially if they are deemed as "comfy" by the general public) as MUCH as possible while still being clean. People will start to notice at some point

Also try selecting a few specifc groups of food to be deemed as "safe" and others to be deemed as "unsafe". Many of us autistics also have or were priorly diagnosed with ARFID so keep that in mind :)

On the topic of that, OVERSTIMULATION!!! As you may have heard EVERYONE goes through this so try and listen to your body more, and when you find out what overstim feels like to you, try and act out more openly frustrated and irritated at the slightest overstimulation!

BURNOUTS are also an inherent part of autism and ADHD, allistics and neurotypicals also go trought this but for us autistics it takes even longer to heal (around 3 to 5 years) so do what you will with that information :3

When I'm in a burnout I feel basically depressed and with no energy ever!

Also choose some textures, sounds, etc to be your triggers for sensory issues!

Also don't forget your headphones, and other things that cancel noises!

SOCIAL DEFICIT

i am really REALLY awkward irl

Try to change your mindset to take things as literally as possible ever

Stop being as interested in other people's lifes unless they are part of/your spin/hyperfix

Try to speak as fast as possible when excited and not to have a normal tone whenever you feel like it

Try to imitate a character's or someone's speech patterns if you can, that's common among autistic children specially

Don't have MANY (2 to 3 max) friends if you're looking for validation or a diagnosis

Don't talk much without referencing your spin (special interest)

If you also wanna change your mindset, try and think deeply and obsesses and research and ONLY care abouy your chosen spin/hyperfix

Adhd also makes the person have mental Hyperactivity which makes you thinks fast and with issues such as messy thinking

MORE TIPS

Bad sleeping habits such as insomnia are very commong among AuDHDers

Try to have someone help you with you bADLS and iADLS (basic/instrumental activities of daily life)

Research about autistic individuals experiences (tumblr is the best place I've seen)

Don't get upset if you ever slip, it's ok transition isn't linnear!

Any other questions send me an adk or a dm!!!!

[akirathedramaqueen]

Octavia's and Blitzø's potential relationship development

I believe that the show, despite Octavia openly hating Blitzø, gives us some hints that they have much more in common than it seems. I’ve noticed a couple of moments where Blitzø and Octavia are… pretty much in sync, if that makes sense.

Here are those moments I’ve noticed… maybe stretched in some places, but! Hear me out!

1. Here, they don’t hear each other, but both are repulsed by Stolas’s obnoxious language and express the same reaction. It’s funny that Stolas is the one calling them out.

[Blitzø]: WHAT [Octavia]: THE [Blitzø]: FUCK [Octavia]: DAD?! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 4:52

2. They also share a distaste for Stolas’s behavior throughout the episode, albeit in slightly different ways. In fact, this serves as a great demonstration of how deaf and blind Stolas is to obvious social cues at the beginning of the series—he doesn’t stop even when directly asked to do so on multiple occasions.

Blitzø is disgusted by Stolas’s awkward, overly sexual advances and demeaning language towards him and his work.

[Stolas]: You are so cute when you are serious! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 6:06

Octavia is taken aback by essentially the same. However, she blames both of them, understandably failing to recognize that Blitzø is just as uncomfortable as she is. From her perspective, Blitzø is a homewrecker who contributed to destroying her parents' marriage.

[Stolas]: You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy.[Blitzø]: Save it, bitch, I am working. [Octavia]: You both need to get a room. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 8:20

3. They share the hate for the same clown!

[Blitzø and Octavia]: I hate that fucking clown. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 8:50

4. They seem to have similar tastes in music! The song My World Is Burning Down Around Me, which Octavia plays to tune out Stella’s screaming, is also heard in Blitzø’s van when he comes to pick up Loona in the Queen Bee episode, although it’s only instrumental. Here, have a look. If, for some reason, the service with the timeframes isn’t working, I’ll also provide the timings in writing so you can check it yourself on YouTube.

Octavia turns on the song, and for a while, we can hear the lyrics before it fades into the background as the scene shifts to Stella yelling at Stolas and later to Stolas’s conversation with Octavia. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 2:52 - 3:50

The song’s instrumental version can be heard when Blitzø’s van arrives, and the background noise at Queen Bee’s club is different, so there’s no chance for misinterpretation. It is the music Blitzø’s was listening to. S1EP8, Queen Bee, 8:20 - 9:14

5. Haha, they freak out in the same way in the Seeing Stars episode! I know it’s probably just a stylistic choice to transition from Octavia’s initial experience with LA to Blitzø having to contact Stolas and explain what happened. However, I might be indulging in a bit of wishful thinking, suggesting that this similarity in their stress responses could have some deeper meaning.

S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 4:42

So-o... What am I trying to say with all these points I've made?

Like the kind of delulu who yells, "Ghostfuckers, save us!" (we know Viv, we know how trying to put our hopes up ends, haha), I draw a complete unhinged card and I am going to make a very bold claim:

I think that once Stolas and Blitzø finally get their shit and themselves back together, and Octavia realizes there’s much more to the story than, “Oh, it’s just horny dad cheated on my mum with a red lizard dickhead and my dad ruined my family,” Octavia could actually bond with Blitzø quite nicely, and he would make a good second dad to her! Well, don’t get me wrong. She might never want to take it to that level. Also, we don’t know how things will turn out, nor do we know her relationship with her mum, Stella.

But I do believe that their parallels were thrown in for a reason. Despite the circumstances, they can, and maybe will, be on much better terms than they currently are.

Go on, call me delusional and leave me be in my complete denial corner. <3 I admit I do tend to forget the current state of the Stolitz relationship in the series, as in my world, where I’m prioritizing my time working on that fic, they are finally together. I am bitter-sweetly excited that @tealvenetianmask and I are slowly but surely getting close to finishing it. :)

(Yes, yes, it was shameless self-promotion—sue me for the unlawful use of a speculatory-analytical post space to promote our version of Stolitz working hard to sort out their issues post Apology Tour and having some silly and horny fun along the way.)

[sirfrogsworth]

I have trans friends. I have many trans followers. And in the years I've been on Tumblr I have probably followed and interacted with hundreds of trans people.

Looking back I noticed the same two stories often get repeated.

A tale of two parents, if you will.

The first story is of the supportive parent. They notice their kid prefers certain toys. Their kid likes to wear different clothes. And when the kid plays the part of their birth gender, they become very depressed. Dejected. The parents will do their research. They will try to figure out how to support their kid. They do some kind of gender affirming care and therapy. They let their kid socially transition. And they are ecstatic. They say, "I feel like I got my kid back."

I have heard that exact phrase from several parents. They got their kid back.

The second story is of the conservative parent. They think their kid has been infected with wokeness from public school. They try a private religious school. Or maybe homeschooling. They will find some quack therapist who essentially does some form of conversion therapy. The kid plays along as best they can. And if they survive long enough, they leave as soon as possible. They cut off contact with the parents. And the parents act all surprised. "Why doesn't my kid talk to me anymore? Who could have predicted this?"

There are minor variations. But I can't tell you how many times I have seen these narratives repeated.

And in all of my interactions, there is one narrative I have yet to see.

Regret.

I know there are detransitioners. I know they exist. I know most do it because of societal, religious, or familial pressure. And there are a few who had some tragic complications from surgery or medication. Unfortunately undesired outcomes are just a reality of any kind of healthcare. Trans healthcare is no exception. But if we didn't assume some risk in healthcare, we would have no healthcare.

In any case, while I have seen the folks the right wing uses as tokens, I have never organically encountered a trans person who regrets their transition. To date, not a single person in my hundreds of interactions.

And I think that is the difference between actually knowing and talking to trans people and all of this being some thing people create in their head. They don't see these patterns emerge. They don't hear these common narratives. They don't see the difference supportive parents and proper healthcare can make.

[velvetvexations]

if I can add to the discussion about trans fem and trans masc headcanons, I feel like there's actually a bit of a taboo around headcanoning characters who are presented as women in the canon material as trans masc.

don't get me wrong, All trans headcanons get backlash. but I feel like trans mascs are openly nervous about doing so, even in trans inclusive spaces. it tends to get treated as taking representation Away From women, possibly even trans women who could see themselves in this character.

this may be a silly example, but I've been thinking about it recently. the homestuck fandom had a real Event where it decided that the main (question mark?) character should be trans fem. with june egbert becoming popular enough that the headcanon got recognized by the creator.

I've always interpreted that character as trans masc for personal reasons, but I kept my mouth shut because it'd be rude you know?

then the series had a character Canonically come out as trans masc, and the only thing I've heard about it for Years is that it was a transphobic decision because they should've been trans fem instead.

it's not that people Aren't transphobic about trans fem headcanons, they absolutely are all the time regardless of how the character was presented in canon. but I've definitely noticed that lateral aggression is Very common when it comes to fem characters being presented as trans masc

I'm not gonna say it happens to trans mascs More though, just because I haven't seen it doesn't mean there Isn't lateral aggression pointed towards trans fems. but I Do feel like this dynamic does absolutely play a role in what kinds of characters trans mascs tend to gravitate towards, or at least post openly about.

Oh, for sure. I can't believe I forgot that angle, yeah, I'm certain that's probably the biggest reason most transmasc headcanons are transitioned.

[cosmicobubisi]

Cosmic's Whump vs Flufftober: Day 10

BLOW TO THE HEAD passing out from pain | "I can't think straight" / Bet, Game, Contest

"Explain to me more about this process of refrigeration."

Yuu and Malleus were taking another one of their nightly walks together, enjoying nothing but each other's company and the savory fall air.

Soon enough, snow would be on the ground. Any change to their walks could break the tenuous connection the two had managed to form in these short few months, despite the apparent intensity of emotions felt on both sides.

The two of them could talk for hours, and make long stretches of time feel like a mere handful of minutes with how engrossed the two of them could get in conversation. Instead of frequently exchanging commentary, however, as other duos might, their chats usually ended up with one of them talking and the other listening, enraptured.

They could be so alluring like that.

"Well, I dunno how much there is to it," said Yuu, as they transitioned from dirt to gravel. "It's a big cold box. You put food in it, and it lasts a lot longer than it normally would."

"Fascinating," mumbled Malleus, stroking his chin with an inquisitive brow. "You are truly understating the impact of such an invention. I imagine it must have revolutionized human existence, to be able to preserve food like that."

"You're right," conceded Yuu, "but you only asked about how it worked. Not about how I felt it had impacted the course of humanity."

"True. How do you feel it impacted the development of humans, then?"

"Do you guys have anything like it?" asked Yuu, answering his question with a question.

"Oh? Do you intend to dodge my question?"

"Not at all. But I don't know how to compare it to the alternative, and I wanna know if I can use you guys- the fae, I mean, as an example."

"Hmmm." Malleus had to give it a moment of thought.

"We have associated low temperatures with slower food decay," he explained slowly as the thoughts formed in his head. "We have enough food use for large, underground cellars at the palace, though I do not know if that is a commoner's item as well. I'll have to ask Sebek."

"That makes sense," said Yuu, nodding along. "I think I've heard of that in old houses."

"Of course, we also have magic," said Malleus. "Yes, now I remember. In recent times, someone's implemented frost runes on things like jars. Instead of using them to pickle, fresh fruit is placed inside to be stored for when it's out of season. But these are much smaller than what your refrigerators seem to be."

"Jar freezers sound pretty... nice. Less storage, but a lot more portable."

"They've been surprisingly controversial, though," mused Malleus, remembering some of the argument he'd heard made against them. "Some say it's not natural to have fruits like that so far out of their growing season. While I disagree, since those people like jam anyway, I do admit, it does impact the taste unpleasantly."

"You've got that right. Some stuff just never tastes right if you leave it in the fridge for longer than, like, an hour."

"Still, I think the idea has more merit than people want to give it. I find it quite cowardly of its detractors to simply dismiss it outright. Perhaps we could learn from you all, and figure out how you made refrigerated cuisine so palatable."

Yuu laughed, and Malleus, though he didn't fully understand what was funny, chuckled along.

"It took us a bit of practice, I'll say that. If the Briar Valley is as seasonal as I think, though, then fruit in the fridge isn't what you guys need."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, there..."

Malleus slowed his steps a bit just when Yuu did. They placed a palm to their head and let their eyes flutter shut.

"Is everything all right?" he inquired.

Yuu smiled up at them, though it didn't quite reach their eyes.

"Just fine," they insisted. "Anyways, I..."

This time, Yuu held their head with both hands, and their legs shook a bit as Yuu swayed in place.

"Something really seems to be wrong. We should rest," Malleus said.

"I said I'm fine," Yuu bit back, the sharp tang of bitterness tinging their words.

"I was only trying to help," said Malleus, letting childish hurt slip into his voice.

"I'm sorry," they said, sounding a lot more contrite and significantly more beat down. "I can't think straight."

Their eyes slid firmly shut, and Malleus was there to catch them before Yuu could even fall.

Malleus looked both ways, trying to see if anyone was watching him. Night Raven kept the streets nearest to the dorms well-lit, but rarely anyone came around.

That remained true tonight. Seeing no one to disturb him, Malleus hiked Yuu's legs over the crook of his elbow, and let their head loll against his shoulder.

Yuu had a nasty habit of overselling themselves and under-reporting their injuries. What's more, they found Malleus's concern patronizing.

He huffed, remembering their words.

They'd volunteered their services to Heartslabyul's Magift team, but had been brought down when one of their idiot players swung out behind himself and struck Yuu.

They'd gotten back up in the next moment, insisting it had just been a tap, and the pathetic excuse for a safety officer had shrugged it off.

Malleus was ready to blow smoke. He'd have Rosehearts's head for letting one of his own violate protocol so flagrantly.

He could see the sickness in their eyes, though. He and he alone was Yuu's protector, even if that meant protecting them from themselves.

There was no need to deliberate on it anymore. Yuu could recover in the safety of Diasomnia's walls, nestled in Malleus's protection.

Without another word, Malleus vanished, taking Yuu with him.

[irlfelixcatton]

TALK ABOUT THE TRANSMASCULINE ALLEGORY!!! i want to hear your thoughts

ok. the long awaited oliver quick transmasculine allegory post.

to be so real it is mainly me doing 2 (two things)

-projecting

-using insanely obvious prompts from the text to pull shit out of my ass

i do think that oliver quick's character COULD. MAYBE. be either headcanon'd as trans (BOOORRRINNGG) or a lot of his actions in act one can be closely tied to very common trans experiences.

my biggest thing on 'common' trans experiences as it relates to saltburn, is meeting a cis man and latching onto him with every fiber of your being, because you can't be friends with him, you need to *be* him. the first thing that really prompted me to look at saltburn from this lense was when farleigh goes "[you're almost passing as] a real human boy!", though it's clearly about oliver wearing a rental suit, it's a phrase that i've heard a million times over and over again, and i think that oliver, within this transmaculine concept of his character, dances CONSTANTLY on this imaginary line of "real boy" to "weirdo freak" that i think a lot of trans people can relate to. (i will touch on 'real boy' again later)

theres also an aspect of this incessant watching and dissecting cis men, what they wear, how they talk, how they fuck. and with all of this watching, there's this part of melding your identity into what you're watching, which we see starkly with oliver. at the beginning, when he's this oxford kid, a freak if you will, but he's more or less himself, version A. once he meets felix, he ditches the glasses, the button up shirts, the uptight manner, and turns into this entirely different version of "himself", version B. version B is the version he's taught himself that society will like much more than version A, so it consumes him entirely. version A wasn't someone that girls would fuck, felix would love, and quite frankly be 'enjoyed' by the rest of the world. version A is pre-transition, and version B is post. (all this to say, in relation to irl transition, neither version A or version B are right, good, or bad, they're whatever you want them to be. beauty is in the eye of the beholder)

THIS PART IS JUST WORD VOMIT AND DOESN'T NECESSARILY PERTAIN TO MY POINT OF TRANSMASCULINE ALLEGORY. SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK.

for me, another piece i think about a lot is the “you’re just so real” (venetia) but that’s a bit more of a stretch. the reason i think this relates to the main point, is so many trans people have to work and rework their personality so that their 'transness' is socially palatable, real. the catton's have no general perception of a real person, they surround themselves with fake, upper class socialites who lie and cheat. but even if they met a real person, they wouldn't know it. and they don't lol. so when oliver comes around, who isn't this upper class socialite, the initial thought is that he's this "real" and "grounded" person. however, the only reason that the catton's (general society in this case) find oliver (trans people) so "real" and more or less worth accepting into their family is because he has worked and reworked his identity to be so similar and likeable to felix's.

there's also the conversation on cattonquick being a really good representation of what a mlm cis/trans relationship can feel like so much of the time. but i'll only really expand on this if any1 is interested lol. anyways pls dm me or comment on this i really want to talk more about it more.

[transgenderpolls]

I also want to say this as a transmasculine nonbinary person that I’ve seen a LOT of trans men be uncomfortable with the term being universalised to include them. Transmasculine started out as a nonbinary label (I think, I could be mixed up) that described enben who were transitioning to a more masculine point instead of a neutral one. Obviously trans men can use transmasculine if they feel like it fits, but still I think it’s best to not just lump us together with the label because there are so many trans men who aren’t comfortable with it (I’ve actually seen a lot of people saying that it straight up makes them dysphoric because they take it as being seen as less of a man)

Same goes for non-transmasculine afab nonbinary people— there’s actually a lot of people calling to just get rid of the terms because they see it as just an indicator of agab. I’ve actually encountered more transneutral afab enben who hate being called transmasculine than I have trans men who hate it. It makes sense, the entire point for transneutral enben is transitioning to some sort of complete middle, or outside of gender alltogether, and aligning them with a specific gender is not only just incorrect but also very uncomfortable and dysphoria inducing for a lot of them. A lot of people also really don’t like the idea of t being ‘transmasculine transition’, which I totally get because I feel the same way when someone says that t is inherently ‘male transition’

(btw this is all stuff I’ve heard from these groups, I’m not just saying what I think goes through their heads or anything)

On a personal note, I also don’t like the universalisation of it because it feels like aligned enben can’t really have a term to describe ourselves— like, being a transmasc or transfem nonbinary person is a very complicated experience, most of us really struggle with this sort of balancing act of androgyny and maleness/femaleness, we’re like an in-beteeen of an in-between and it’s really fucking hard to deal with. It would just be nice if we could have our own label and space to discuss it and help each other with it. But I also get that now a lot of trans men resonate with the term and it would very much be a dick move to just say ‘nope, you can’t use this anymore, fuck you lol’, like, no

idk, I think about this a lot and the topic comes up quite frequently so I have a lot to say on it, but I can’t exactly articulate it, so I hope this made sense sorry

if anyone has sources to show otherwise i'd be happy to see them but i've always been under the impression that "transmasc(uline)" and "transfem(inine)" were umbrella terms first and foremost, with origins in the world of medical transitioning, particularly HRT, that sought specifically to include non-binary people and therefore not imply that everyone going through [medical] masculinization or feminization necessarily identifies as a man or a woman. whether the end goal is conceptualized by the individual as a masc/fem role, it's just a matter of having useful, succinct language to describe shared experience. i really don't see it as denoting agab any more than the term "trans man/woman" does. like if you really are not comfortable denoting your agab at all, it sounds like you're not comfortable talking about being trans period.

as for the binary trans men who hate it i'm gonna be real, i cannot comprehend being mad about someone using an umbrella term simply to address you and others who have significant things in common with you in one breath. i'm a binary trans man and i won't lie, i have had my phase of whining about being "lumped in with non binary people," but like... that's what it was. it was a phase that i'm over because i've grown up and now realize that it doesn't actually dilute my identity to simply have things in common with other people. it would be like a square being mad about being called a rectangle because "you're erasing the fact that i am SPECIFICALLY a square!" literally no, no one is erasing anything. especially not in the context of a poll that's just trying to not draw really arbitrary lines, and which you also literally don't have to answer.

i think it's completely valid to be made dysphoric or uncomfortable by any terminology, but there's a point at which you kind of have to accept that that is a you thing? if a term's literal function is to be inclusive and you feel excluded somehow bc you don't like that you're not being acknowledged as fundamentally different than the others who that term applies to... like i'm sorry, that's kind of ridiculous. you have to accept that it's ridiculous and not anyone else's problem.

also i truly think that if it's coming to contentions such as "just because i'm a man doesn't mean i'm masculine" or ppl otherwise trying to draw hard lines between masc and man/male as definitions... i truly think you are just trying to make this more complicated than it is. like we do need words to describe things, lol.

in any case my thing - at least on this blog - is always gonna be in the context of making polls. firstly i'm working with a character and option limit. secondly, the questions being asked make it sometimes relevant to use some terms that lump groups together, denote agab, etc. the more i think about it, i don't think there's going to be a solution that satisfies everyone, and i also don't think that there's a huge problem with that.

(btw none of this is directed at anon, you articulated yourself fine, i'm just jumping off of your talking points)

edit: irt anon not liking the universalization of "transmasc" - it just occurred to me, would "transmasc nonbinary" not simply work? like it seems to me that you just need to add the word nonbinary and now you're gucci

[dballzposting]

CHICHI IS INSANE

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT VIDEL SAYS THAT ??!! She doesn't say anything that explicit in regular DBZ (This is Kai). Even in the subbed version of Kai she doesn't say that.

Interesting verb of choice. There are many ways to communicate what she did, but using the verb "jump" as a transitive verb is honestly one of the nicest ways to put it, obviously it's vulgar but you don't rope in other expletives to make it so, and it's a nice and common verb in its regular usage.

To be honest the only noteworthy (perhaps just the only?) time that I've heard it used that way was in Smokey And The Bandit (1977). Videl has definitely seen that movie and she definitely has thoughts on it. Her father definitely has it on DVD and then also Blue-ray

Chichi changes her tune as soon as she finds out that Videl has money. VERY TYPICAL CHICHI BEHAVIOR.

Gohan is sitting there trying to eat very politely because they have company and he wants to look normal. He does not do anything about the drama of his mother because she is the matriarch and he cannot tell her to mind her manners in any way shape or form or else he'll get the spoon

Gohan Spits Rice All Over Goten's Face and Goten barely even blinks about it. Doesn't even wipe his face. Completely unperturbed. The most he does is that he arrests all activity while it's happening but then as soon as it's over he jumps in with what he's excited to say, much more concerned with the emotional impact of what he's heard rather than the physical impact of what just happened to him.

ALREADY-WROTE-THE-POST EDIT: I raised the audio and exported the video again and I just noticed THE COUGH AND GIGGLE. This is arguably worse. He's not even startled enough to momentarily freeze. He spits and laughs through it. There is nothing that can unsettle this kid

We've repeatedly seen in Goten both an innate sense of justice and a healthy aggression in regards to defending that (off the top of my head: when he demanded that Gohan stop making fun of him that he couldn't fly, when he gets mad at Trunks for breaking the rules during their tournament battle, when he YELLS AT VEGETA when Vegeta knocks Trunks out), but this rice thing is fine. It doesn't at all register as a breach of his boundaries. Sensory wise he is totally okay with it. There was a scene earlier on where he was laughing while a dinosaur licks his face. He's totally cool with this sort of stuff

Honestly he probably gets it, he's done it before. I'm sure that there have been times where he was eating too fast (every time) and then he slips up and starts choking and he has to slam his hand on the table like a grown man and turn to the side and hack onto the floor. And then maybe he offers an "excuse me" to be polite if his mother gives him a chastising look, but otherwise he just goes right back to wolfing shit down. So honestly Gohan spitting rice all over and across the table is nothing new at all. Like Goten has definitely done that.

Again he doesn't even wipe his face before talking. Doesn't even put his bowl down or anything

[genderqueerdykes]

Is there a difference between terms 'transgender' and 'transsexual'?/gen

I've seen the argument that they mean the same, but the latter is older and now it can be considered 'incorrect' because it looks like it's a name of sexual orientation. But recently I've seen some post re: sex≠gender and someone said they prefer to use the term transsexual because it refers to changing their sex. So is there a difference? And it made me wonder, if someone is trans but didn't start medical transition, are they transsexual? (I think yes. Otherwise it'd be transmedicalism which is bad. It's 2am and I'm overthinking, but it's a genuine question)

good question!

some people do not make a distinction, and some people do! it depends on the individual, many people are okay with using them interchangeably, many people make a distinction and choose one or the other. some people identify as both!

"transsexual" was the first term coined for our community alongside "transvestite". at the time, there was not much clinical distinction between sex and gender, however, a Jewish physician and sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld was extremely compassionate when he heard his queer patients expressing extreme guilt for how they felt about themselves and their identities. he felt an especially strong passion for his trans patients.

this was during WWII in Nazi Germany. Magnus went on to perform the first successful sex reassignment surgery that we know of in modern history. he went on to pioneer the techniques that we have today, however, a lot of it was lost when the Nazis decided to torch the facility at which a lot of his research was being kept. a lot of it still lives on today. Magnus did not care so much about whether or not his patients felt like their sex or gender was the issue, he just wanted them to feel like themselves- if they wanted to undergo medical procedures for gender affirming care, that's all he needed to know

transsexual was used in common vernacular for quite some time before the term transgender sprouted a few decades later and rose to popularity in the 90s, when people started speaking about the societal and biological differences between and implications of sex and gender. when this became a conversation that was common place, many people began advocating that they felt that their gender was what their focus was on, not their biological sex. many people wanted to advocate for a more diverse range of trans experiences that weren't focused on the body, but what the person felt inside. many trans people do not want to medically or even socially transition, so people wanted to advocate for those as well as those who do transition medically

ultimately transgender became more of an umbrella term and stuck with the community moving forward. it can be inaccurate at times, some people identify as transsexual only. some people identify as transgender only. after a while people began shortening to "Trans" in order to become more inclusive and i think that's the best way to approach it. there are many older trans people who call themselves transsexuals when they may be describing a transgender experience, but that's okay. some people never changed their vernacular.

they can mean the same thing- but they also may not to certain people, and both of those are okay. it's best to ask the individual what their experience with the word is and what it means to them if you're ever confused.

[castlebyersafterdark]

the pet name thing also opens up such interesting thoughts for me about kink or preference, because pet names often begin in childhood, so carrying those over into the bedroom as an adult is always... interesting lol

some also feel much more childhood-ish whereas others (like babe) can be almost anything and for anyone depending on accent, tone of voice, context etc. like babe could be a casual call to a spouse from another room. it could be a fun campy way to address friends. it can be sarcastic. it can be a way to coo over a child. i suppose all pet names have this objectiveness that only gets meaning applied in context. so interesting. personally for me someone would have to say 'angel' or 'sunshine' in a very very unique way ive never heard before to get me to stop hearing it as some kind of gangster who is about to rip me off/murder me hahahaha. like anyone who says 'sunshine' round here is usually catcalling me outside a gas station hahahah

i wanna list pet names and get your opinion vinny

pumpkin

cherub

sunshine

honey / honey bun

babe

baby

angel

sweetheart

sweetie

muffin

darling (different from darlin' lmao)

I really love pet names!! And nicknames and all the familiar little things that make up a friendship and/or relationship. I know what you mean with the childhood to adulthood transition with these names. Not everything needs to be part of a sexual connotation, either, but familiarity would have some bleed over. But you are so right - tone and situation and relationship influence it all.

Different uses have different meaning to different people, thus, before I get into my list - DISCLAIMER: if we disagree on one here because I'm downing it but it's special to you or I love one you (the collective you) hate, no shade! We all have different taste! These are just my opinions, Byler and personal. It's interesting to sometimes evaluate where your fictional ideas and personal experiences overlap or not. That's very human.

pumpkin - I only associate it with a parent to little kids which is fine but personally that's all I envision. cherub - I don't know a situation or setting I've really seen this one?? I don't think I'm into it. It feels a little too silly. sunshine - OK. 😌 This one, I actually could envision Mike using for Will, like in a really sweet way (not Will to Mike because Mike? Sunshine? It would sound sarcastic haha) BUT! While the vision is there - I will personally never HC it or use it causally in a fic. It would feel odd since this is what 💙 so often calls me? So, it's too personal. I really adore it though. It's so soft. Ahh. honey / honey bun - Honey bun is goofy and I think of Pulp Fiction, but I see for Will, more so using hon instead of the full honey. It's a common one to call out to your partner in that from the other room kinda way, or in a casual conversation, asking a question. I use this one, too! babe - Will -> Mike. He wouldn't really use it in a sexy way, but it's casually used pretty commonly. Me? I personally never really call 💙 this in a romantic way because as we've seen here on this blog, everyone is babe or babes hahaha. Use it irl alllll the time. I think it was a pointed choice I made at one point, a tone shift away from trying to "bro out" and use certain language, which was one of those masking things types of things that happen. I'm flirty, I'm kind of silly. Babes feels like me ☺️ baby - Mike -> Will. His faaaaavorite. Will is baby, yes he is, that's his baby. All aspects of daily life. Loves calling Will baby. Casual use for sure, but oh you change the tone in the bedroom and it makes Will melt. Especially when it's whined or moaned while Will is getting him off. angel - Spawned his whole conversation and my personal favorite for Mike -> Will. It's for those soft moments, like just waking up to say good morning when they're sleepy and tangled in bed. It's when Will needs cheering up and being reminded he's so loved, which he needs when he falls into his moods. But it's also when they're in bed together, Will is doing something and Mike wants him to give a little more, push Will a little further. Come on angel, that's it angel in the sweetest breathless voice. sweetheart - I think they'd both use this one on rare moments when the other is really upset about something. It's an uncommon little one off. Reassuring and sweet to dissipate tension and sadness. sweetie - Another one I mostly associate with parents and children. muffin - Can't take it seriously at all!! darling - Adore this for them. Both use it, but not a common one? It's situational. Being all sappy and flattering.

Other's not mentioned: You know they're dipping into fantasy stuff, like calling each other my prince and stuff like that because they are dorkssssss. I personally use doll a lot, I can see Mike using that one too. When Mike's being really flirty or needy he gets hit with kind of a sarcastic loverboy from Will, but he loves hearing despite it being a little tongue in cheek.

[pillarsalt]

if this seems like a weird question feel free to ignore it! but.. if youve felt it, how do you deal with the guilt of "waking up" from transition and the narratives around it right now? i know logically in my mind that the current state of gender as a concept is a rehash/rebranding of old regressive standards, i know its not logical to do surgeries on young mentally ill and neurodivergent people who are in distress, i know that something cant be a social construct and biologically innate at the same time, and i know that the idea of "passing" or "transitioning to a woman" is misogynistic as hell, but i still feel bad for voicing or even thinking of any of it as wrong.

the majority of my friends are socially drowning in these concepts, and i cant even find any real lesbian friends, let alone someone who i might wanna date someday. i love them, but almost all of the same sex attracted women in my life hate themselves to some degree for being born women and try to seperate themselves from what they think womanhood is. it makes me feel hopeless as a detransitioned lesbian. any advice is appreciated :/

this got long so here's a cut:

I'm not a detransitioner myself, but I know there are many women on here and detrans lesbians specifically who would understand what you're going through. Anyone who'd like to reach out to anon in the notes is welcome to do so.

I do totally get what you mean about feeling guilty, even though your views are logically reasonable and feminist. Unfortunately that's by design: emotional manipulation and groupthink is how trans activism keeps people entrenched. No debate, anything that isn't immediately and entirely validating is simply evil, it's all black or white to them. There's no room for grey when just a little bit of poking and prodding can make your entire movement collapse in on itself.

I think it's quite common, I've heard it from many women, and myself included, that even after realizing the harms of gender ideology, we tend to examine ourselves and our beliefs over and over again because what if we really are evil fascists like they say we are? But every time, it turns out that no, we just care about women's rights to legal recognition and protection and equal opportunity, and patients' (especially children's) rights to responsible and ethical healthcare. Remember that when you feel you must be wrong because your opinion is currently in the minority. What's right is right, no matter how many or how few people believe it.

The other thing is, I've been watching this issue evolve for years now. I genuinely believe the tide is turning and people are seeing the misogyny inherent to this ideology. Most

In my personal life, most of my friends buy into gender ideology. A couple of them identify as nonbinary, although I'm not as close with them. It is a hard tightrope to walk. Honestly I don't get too emotionally attached, as much as I can help it, because I'm ready to lose them as friends if it comes to that. If they directly asked me my opinions I would share them, and I've always been prepared to. They never ask. I have a feeling most of them know I disagree with their views on gender but don't want to "have to" cancel/ostracize me, so the subject never comes up. Funnily enough, the friends with whom I do talk about my views openly are men. I think women, generally being socialized to care deeply about others' feelings and wellbeing, are more likely to have these feelings of guilt when going against the societally ~nice, kind, polite~ thing to do, so are more likely to stay close to the groupthink mentality of "we're good, they're bad, continue doing what we say is good and you can keep being good too". And when you see what happens socially to women who speak out against genderism, yeah it's terrifying to face that yourself.

All that to say, I get what you're feeling. It's lonely and isolating to think differently from the people around you but not feel safe to express it. Especially so for lesbians and bi women who want to date women but find that dating women now comes with the extra exhausting step of avoiding believers of gender nonsense everywhere you turn. But you are far, FAR from the only one. There are a ton of other women in your situation, they're looking for women like you. Don't give up. It's hard but it's worth it. I don't have experience with it myself, but I know of quite a few women who met on tumblr and ended up in long term irl relationships. There are also quite a few rad-related discord groups, some specifically for lesbians as well. Seriously, tumblr has become a great resource for connecting with other feminists. And even offline, there are far more women around you who think like you but are also too afraid of the backlash to speak out. Keep looking, don't give up.

[contagious-watermelon]

It's interesting to me that understandings of transsexuality have been almost exclusively filtered through the lens of queerness and the social aspects of gender. In other words, that the "T" was added to "LGBT." I've thought for a while that in a lot of cases, transness — and specifically dysphoria — makes a lot more sense when analyzed through the lens of disability rather than through queerness. (Personally I see it as being at the intersection between those things.)

I think that a theory of transsexuality would be incomplete without taking into account the societal aspects of gender, yes, but it seems to be similarly incomplete in the popular understanding of it.

I've seen a lot of discussion in the stuff I've read by disabled people about the contention between being objectively harmed or, well, disabled, by your disability, but still wanting to be proud of it or finding identity in it regardless. A lot of autistic communities, I've noticed, talk a lot about the fact that being autistic is difficult; it's made worse by other people's reactions to it, but it still is hard on its own (e.g. auditory overstimulation); yet people still can say that they'd rather be autistic than not. Or they may say they wish they weren't, but that they've come to terms with it because it's not exactly changeable.

Point is, there's open discussion about the differences between inherent challenges to your disability regardless of society, the ways which ableism makes things more difficult, and the contention of finding identity and community in your disability despite that. (And I use autism as an example because I'm autistic; I don't want to speak for, say, a physically disabled community as I'm able-bodied. But I have seen similar discussions there as well.)

The trans community, as I've seen, doesn't really have that. We're polarized between the extremely self-hating people who think that being trans is a curse and that people who like being trans are just fakers co-opting transness, and the toxically positive contingent who refuse to engage with the fact that sometimes dysphoria really does just hurt. And also that transphobia exists.

There's also the fact that in many ways, dysphoria is actually disabling. It isn't for everyone, and part of the problem is that transness as a concept covers so many things that analyzing it through just one lens will always be incomplete, but for me at least it caused me a lot of depression and dissociation, and made it difficult-to-impossible to interact with other people or function at my classes. Back before I medically transitioned, I related a lot to some descriptions by disabled people about their chronic pain, because my dysphoria effectively was chronic psychological pain. I don't want to say it's the same thing, because obviously I've only experienced one of those things, and dysphoria has a treatment while many (all?) chronic illnesses don't, but nevertheless it was a comforting lens to think of my dysphoria through in the time before I got top surgery.

Also of note is the way both our communities are treated by the medical establishment. I've heard many horror stories by disabled people of how doctors simply refuse to diagnose them or give them issues with their meds. Trans people obviously also have to deal with the shit that doctors put out in order to get access to HRT and any necessary surgeries. People deride HRT, saying that we shouldn't take it because it'll "make you a medical patient for life." People act like mental pain isn't real — calling depression fake, acting like because things like fibromyalgia aren't "real pain" that it shouldn't bother you so much, etc. — and that extends too into the way they dismiss the pain of gender dysphoria.

So, I don't really understand why the trans community has taken so many pains to disavow themselves from being considered even remotely similar to disabled people. I know that the common refrain, "we're not mentally ill!" is meant to combat the idea that we're deluded into thinking that we're a "different gender" than we really are, but the effect is throwing actually mentally ill trans people under the bus. The insistence that there's no way that dysphoria should be considered a disorder because there's nothing wrong with us — I just think that we could take a hint or two from the way that disabled people theorize about this subject.