#I've grown tho im in a much better place

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

I hate call out posts bc i hate confrontation, im a "stay calm and block" kinda gal

[d-x-z]

RANT BLOG OF RICK AND MORTY SEASON 7 EPISODE 10

Spoilers under da cut or whateva

And a extreme horribly cringe rant, cringe but free from judgement I am embracing it😔

Jesus, CHRIST.

LITERALLY I SCREAMED, I just. Oh my God!? I WAS LIKE REALLY!? IS DIANE COMING BACK!? but no sadly no.. but the writers gave us something we wanted even tho it wasn't real. BUT HOLY SHIT MORTY ☹️

When his fear was having rick die, I think it was more of a momental fear where it was just more of a concern than fear? But then it turned out to be him not being accepted, I think, THEN it turned out he feared that he'd be replaced ☹️ I think after all this time seeing other versions of morty's dying left and right he'd eventually be replaced too, I mean tell me about it. Rick doesn't need him anymore to kill rick prime right? So maybe post event morty felt less valuable to him that he probably start fearing that one day he'd just die and rick wouldn't care and it's just so sad :( I mean rick is probably morty's first ever friend and someone he can actually trust. And it's just so heartwarming to see both morty's and Rick's development as a duo and as themselves,

Season 1 started off as Rick with one set on goal, to kill rick prime. And concidering morty back then he obviously was so new to all of Rick's antics and so as morty grew up during the seasons he grew more confident and independent from rick

I MEAN HE LITERALLY TOOK A FLYING BIKE TO GO BACK TO DENNYS TO CONFRONT THE GUY would season 1 morty do that!? No! And thats the point

He changed! well he's obviously the same but something about him makes him more confident on himself to actually take lead. He's always the side kick to rick the batman and joker type of duo. But now it's slowly grown to a side kick to an actual equal

And I am just so happy for him (ㅠ︿ㅠ), it's like seeing a best friend grow with you. I mean cmon I've watched rick and morty since I was A TODDLER my cousin introduced it to me once and I've never thought few years later when I'm ACTUALLY morty's age TODAY?, I see him genuinly grow through the years.

BUT THE FACT THAT HE'S SCARED OF NOT BEING ACCEPT KILLS ME, even tho it's not his greatest fear it's still considered as one since the realm responded to it. But still oh my God this showwwwww killlsss meeeee insiiiideee.

AND THE FACT the fact that he's probably a people pleasure to people at school so he'd try his best to comply to other people

ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW ON MY BED,

AND DO NOT FORGET ABOUT RICK THE END—THE END PART IS WHAT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MORE.

The fact that morty told rick about Diane and he ran back to the hole to look at it, instead to place morty's picture? HES FREE FROM DESPAIR AND GRIEF AND HE PROBABLY ALREADY ACCEPTED HES NOT GETTING DIANE BACK AND LETTING HER GO AND OH MY GOD I LIVE FOR DIANE AND RICK MOMENTS THEYRE JUST SO SWEET 😭💗 ITS GIVING RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME AND IT MAKES ME BARF OUT FO SADNESS RICK DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER RAHH

AND WE GET TO SEE MORE OF WHO DIANE WAS AS A PERSON AND GOD STRIKE ME DOWN THE WE NEED MORE DIANE CONTENT.

LIKE ITS GIVING STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN X COLD CALCULATED PERSON

AND DIANE PROBABLY WON RICKS RESPECT BY BEING HERSELF AND GOD IM SO IM NOT OKAY THIS ISNT HYPERFIXATION THIS IS JUST PURE OBSESSION

AND MORTY, HOLY FUCK MAN THIS POOR BOY NEEDS A FRIEND LIKE PLEASE I CAN TREAT HIM BETTER THAN ANYONE COULD THE ABSOLUTE BALLS I WOULD GIVE TO ATLEAST MAKE HIM HAPPY AND LIVE A LIFE HE WANTED WE COULD GO BINGE WATCH MOVIES, SKIP THROUGHT HE CREEKS AND FIND COOL STUFF IN THE FOREST, SNEAK TEST ANSWERS TO EACH OTHER, SHARE MEALS, TALK ABOUT WHAT TYPE OF GIRLS WERE ATTRACTED TOO, WEAR EACH OTHERS CLOTHES CUZ WED FORGET IT IN EACH OTHERS HOUSE, PLAY HORROR GAMES AND TRY SEEING WHICH ONE WOULD PUSSY OUT FIRST BUT MORTY WOULD JUST BE THE TYPE TO DISCONNECT FROM THE GAME CUZ HIS WIFI WOULDVE BEEN SHIT,

Man, I'm really living the life of pure dream scenarios, should probably make more fanfics from that whole rant. ANYWAYS GOT MORE IDEAS SO HERES THE HORRIFINGLY CRINGE RANT BYEEE

(Don't kill me 😔)

[post-office-by-the-bay]

hi covey!!!!

i havent been able to respond and interact with all ur posts since im not home atm but im sitting in hotel room bed writing this rn so! i have found my way to your other account tho😈 so im gonna write a little rant i hope you dont mind (even tho thats kinda what the account is made for, i still feel weird doing it!!) so feel free to ignore i just reallt want rant!

also wanna start it off by saying i hope youve been doing well and the college stress isnt affecting you too much!!

okiiii so anyway its my birthday tofay 😜😜 and for my bday weekend we went to chicago since its pretty close to where i live and i thiight it would be fun but sometjkng about me is just that i hate being away from home like idk i just love my room so idk why i wanted to do thid for my bday but ANYWAY.

friday and saturday were oretty fun even tho its so cold out but ive had an overall good time! the obly downside is my DAD bro. i dont think hes ever experienced true happiness in hus life bc if any tiny bad thing happens he gets so MAD and for NO REASON. i try to stay happy but its literally such a mood killer like how am i supoosed to enjoy my time wjen ur over here bitching and complaing about not getting the corner booth like. get over pls shut up i wanna be happy.

and then today i thoight we were gonna go to this museum and then meet up with my brither to go to the sears/willis tower but it got completely changed and i was so confused and we didnt do anytbing k wanted to do that day. like i wanted kbbq as my bday dinner like it was the MAIN reason i wanted to go to chicaho but they switched uo and said it was too far away. like okay then… im like fine whatever just choose some place else bc idk what i want and i dont wanna decide and THEY KEPT ASKING ME AND BOTHERING ME LIKE PLS LEAVE ME ALONE. and then we were just walking around everywhere trying to fund a place to eat and i was getting annoyed so i just said olay i wanna go here, AND THEY JUSR GO SOMEWHERE ELSE EVEN THO THEY WERE ASKING ME WHERE I WANTED TO GO??? pls.. jusg make up ur mind. and then when we finally got to a place bc i was like yall im tired lets just go to fresking shake shack they starting bitching about the prices and i get we dont have a lot of money but it just made me feel so guilty??

anyway i felt way better bc me and my cousin started making fun of my dad so i felt 10x #wcousin😇

now im in the hotel room listening to my dad snore SO FREAKING LOUF LIKE HOW AM I GONNA SLEEP.

OKAY IM SO SORRY FOR WRITING SO MUCH LIKE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RESD ALL THIS COVEY OMG

TLDR; birthday was rlly my dads rlly whiny but im chill now!

have a good day/night covey sorry writing so much😭😭

-🐌

beloved snail anon,

do not feel bad for ranting!! that's the whole point of this blog!! we just need to ignore the fact that i ignored it for so long lmao.

first and foremost, HAPPIEST OF (late) BIRTHDAYS TO YOU!! I KNOW YOUR DAD WAS BEING A BIT OF A BUMMER (kill all men) BUT YOU DESERVED TO HAVE THE BESTEST DAY AND IM SORRY HE TRIED TO TAKE THAT AWAY.

my dad is, from the sound of it, very similar to your dad. and i've grown to kinda just throw it back at him. it took years of warming up to it, but now i just treat him the way he treats us and he shuts up real real quick, ya know?? anyways, im so so sorry that he was being sucky (again kill all men) and you totally didn't deserve that!! wishing you a better birthday for next year!!

all my love,

covey 𐙚⊹ ࣪ ˖

[kyetalksshit]

Omg I came on here to post a cute lil blurb about how much I love my friends and was reminded that I'm SUPPOSED to be keeping a dream journal more or less hahaha oops

Anyways last night's dream was... a trip and a half tbh so let's recap it while I still remember (even tho it's almost 1am and I should be asleep but here we are)

There was definitely a smaller dream that i completely did not remember even when I first woke up, let alone now. But the last dream...

SO. I get home from work or wherever and I come back downstairs with my dog so she can go potty outside. I notice that there are a lot of people running in and out moving my roommate's stuff out of the house. I'm like omg thank the gods maybe he's moving out and I'll have the place to myself for a little while!!!

I ask someone in passing (I think it was his family or friends) "hey is he moving out?" And they're like "huh?? No, he's not leaving." I'm like 🤨

Then once the living room is cleared out, they bring in this HUUUUUUGE couch like one that has no business being that big. And I overhear someone (or maybe I just knew somehow? Idr) saying that he can afford to upgrade now that he's got this extra money (ie me paying rent). I then see a little dog that looks a lot like his dog that passed a few years ago irl but with a bit of husky? I'm like ?? Weird that he didn't tell me he got a dog but I've got pets here so ig it's not that big of a deal. I pet the dog and say hi.

...then I meet ANOTHER dog, this time a big St. Bernard/GSD mix named Tuck (who I know irl because of my job but in this dream he was now also my roommate's dog). I'm like?????? Wtf man

AND THEN I MEET A THIRD DOG. This one is a small doodle of some kind with wiry hair and smells awful and in dreamland I had a memory of this dog being at the house one other time overnight and I was complaining because it was very yappy. So knowing that not only were there suddenly THREE NEW DOGS in the house without my knowledge, but that at least one of them was gonna be yappy and irritating???????? 🙄😭

I'm irritated but letting my dog play outside and I guess my sister or friends or something are there too because I'm chatting with them about how annoyed I am and I drop my phone, only to pick it up and be DEVASTATED because the screen is SHATTERED literally shattered like to the point that touching it is making my finger bleed. I tape it and then my friend/sister is like wait a minute he has more pets??

I'm like IM SORRY WHAT and she points and says there's a bunny there and one, two, three cats. So that means he has 7 animals??????

Idr how but somehow I find out that he's had the bunny and 3 cats this whole time but made a point to hide them from me. Which is bad enough but three dogs ON TOP OF THAT???? Sets me off.

So I start bringing my dog inside (and now all his friends/family are gone and so are my friends and my cats somehow got out of my room so now I have to wrangle them too) and I see him laying on the couch under a single throw blanket, snoring. And I'm so mad. Because irl he keeps sleeping on the couch EVEN THO HES LIKE 50 and I hate it, so ofc I also hate it in the dream.

I start mumbling to myself about how irritating that is and then start directing that energy at him and getting louder, and he wakes up. I continue yelling at him louder and louder about how he is a grown ass man with a bedroom and a mattress upstairs and it's so frustrating to have to tiptoe past him all the time, and then I bring up how he has people over every single night (which irl he was, though recently it's been more sparse, which is v interesting that it lined up in the dream) and then say I mean you've been getting a LITTLE better on that but-- (about to transition into how LOUD he is on his own)

And he interrupts me by yelling "yeah that fell through, so THANKS FOR THAT!" (Like implying I did magic to force them out)

I go "I DIDNT DO ANYTHING?????? BUT IM GLAD THEYRE GONE"

And this red knotted string on the wall (like those Chinese good luck pendants) that in this moment i understand to be one of his wards, falls off the wall and onto his head. Like as if by saying "I'm glad they're gone" I hit one of his wards and it broke right in front of us and bonked him on his head (giving him nasty repercussions).

He turns to me so angry and curses at me in what my dream self interpreted as Arabic (his native language), like he was cursing me out but also trying to fling evil eye at me. I spit it back at him to deflect that energy, scoop up my pets, and storm upstairs to my room. And as I do I yell down "GROW THE FUCK UP." And then I slam the door behind myself, leaving him speechless below.

I remember collapsing on my bed with my pets and then going ok yeah no I need to move, I cannot stay here and live like this. And then of course I have a panic when I realize that my (shattered 😭) phone is still outside where I had it last and I do NOT want to pass him to go get it.

And then I wake up.

[arttrampbelle]

Outside of nostalgia bait. What does mk11 really offer story and narrative wise that previous titles didn't already.

Reusing the same thing again and again. Ignoring their own lore. Even if the same game. Retconning retcons with a retcon. Writing themselves into a corner.

Mk11 adds nothing. Gains nothing. It has a net 0 of development.

Not even the things i like about the game could 100% save it for me. But i bought it with my own money. So im gonna run this game into the dirt till im absolutely sick of it or i basically unlock everything.

I mean its fun to play....if you ignore 90% of the story and skip the pre battle dialogue. Which honestly makes it tolerable.

10 and 9. They are better narrative wise. Not by much.

9 was actually good. If you take away raidens dumb moments,erase sindels obnoxious overpowering,and ignoring how shang tsungs fucking whole soul magic works and why he was cursed in the first place. (Legit you cant just tranfer soul magic like that without consequences. Especially from THAT man! Come on!) And my personal gripe is kung lao being killed but more so the way it was handled.

10 wasn't bad either. The revenants were interesting but the way they were handled sucked. But 10 felt like a mugan to me with half the roster i loved gone. It felt not worth playing thats what turned me off from mk for a while. However the gameplay was a blast and an absolute beast. Hella fun.

But fuck cageblade. Sorry. I will die on that hill. Sue me.

But again other than playing it for funsies,and ignoring most of the game outside of playing with friends. Which is what keeps me. It isn't worth much playing for story anymore.

Which is sad because mk i felt was so story driven. But its become a former shadow of itself. All because or corporate meddling. Which is also sad because i loved mortal kombats stories. But sadly they aren't as enjoyable.

Some koncepts aren't bad. The way they are handled is so piss poor tho. And is such juvenile writing that it makes me go.....I've seen some people on here do a better job then these supposed grown men game dev writers. Fr.

No offense. But i really wish some of y'all would be the writers. Not everyone. But some of yall. Because

Older titles while they have their own problems too,were more interesting narrative wise.

Gameplay wise it's always done good and gotten better. But storywise its been lacking. That's why people flock to other titles more.

Nrs is relying on nostalgia bait that movie makers do. And sadly people fall for it.

No im no exception. But at least i was honest why i got mk11 in the first place,which did come from a place of nostalgia. But even then sadly i feel some talent is wasted on a mediocre story. But im gonna tell people like it is. And the blunt honesty. Im not gonna fake to enjoy it 100% just to save face. I'd rather be honest with people. If that makes people mad. Oh well. Life goes on.

Mk hasn't been good from start to finish for me in a loooong time. Narrative wise.

And i doubt it will ever be. If boon and the other two current writers keeps writing the way they do.

However....at the end of the day....i still love playing. And i still love playing with friends and trying to have fun anyways. Despite the bullshit.

But im not gonna get mk12. Unless they ABSOLUTELY wow me. But i doubt they will. I dont want my money nor time wasted with another mk title. Until all the bells n whistles are added and im absolutely sure it will be worth it. Which im not having high hopes sadly.

Anyways. Im done rambling.

[kissmetae]

.

[aro-culture-is]

I accepted my asexuality pretty quickly. The country i live in sees the topic of sex as taboo and its never talked about. NEVER. Its toxic and bad but meh, its the culture. Maybe the reason i never had a problem with it was becauss im asexual.

But realising i might be aro is not. Im struggling with internalized arophobia. Im having identity crisis and existential crisis. And ive heard being aro/ace can be due to trauma? Is that real? Because if it is, lots of things start to make sense about me. Aplatonic aros? Is that a thing too? Ive always felt unfit. Never wanted a friend but seeing everyone in a group or with someone made me feel unworthy and broken from a young age. I don't want a traditional family and i feel like the one i currently am in would've gotten rid of me a long time ago if they could. My dad never kept it a secret how he disliked us, i know my mom sees me as a failure even tho she reassures me, and my brother's world is totally different from me. The few friends i managed to keep throughout the years either gotten on with their lives or found better people. What's the point of living then? Am i even human? How are other aros doing it? Am i aro or just a really shitty person who lost faith in love a long time ago? I need help

hi,

for one, yes - being a-spec can be due to trauma. There's even a microlabel for being aro (caedromantic) or ace (caedsexual) due to trauma.

aplatonic (apl) aros are absolutely a thing!

I'm so very sorry that you've had such a terrible experience with your family. Coming from an emotionally abusive household, I know how much it can completely change how you interact with others. If it is available and mental health services are okay in your country, I'd really recommend seeing a therapist. Even if you don't discuss aromanticism, asexuality, or aplatonicism, it's worth discussing with a professional about the ways you have been affected by the trauma of a family that never seems to accept you.

speaking again as a traumatized individual - as i've worked on my mental health, accepting my trauma, and moving forwards from my trauma, I personally have only grown more capable of accepting myself as aromantic and aplatonic-spectrum. I've learned that my life is my own; I can define what makes me happy in life and seek that, even if others will never understand.

I don't enjoy romantic relationships or living with others - so for me, my ideal future involves planning around living alone and what makes me happiest within that framework. I've considered that I do still get lonely, and that I'd love to have a cat - probably two, since some research seems to indicate cats generally are better adjusted when there are two.

I've thought about how I use my time - I'm disabled and in literal, full-body physical pain 24/7. Going places is an activity that requires me to plan recovery time, so I work especially hard to make my daily living comfortable. I'm currently working on finding little ways to make my life easier - putting meds, food, and water within easy reach of my bed and desk, for example - and learning to allow myself to enjoy those little things.

There's a certain amount of childish glee I'm learning to allow myself to enjoy from small activities. Those, for me, are a primary set of reasons to live. I enjoy my lotions, I eat breakfast for every meal, I lipsync in my bathroom mirror and giggle at my expressions. I learn to live as myself and I learn to see the small joys in it.

This isn't to suggest you aren't trying hard enough to find those joys! I don't think I truly could have done this without anti-depressants, therapy, and supportive friends (friendship is... complicated for me). You will have your own path forwards. I promise that with time and practice, things get better. It's rarely a sudden moment of change. It's often a sensation of taking a deep breath, saying to yourself "I am allowed to feel this way, and I am allowed to do what helps me feel better", and learning to comfort yourself. It's like seeing an echo of your younger self desperately trying not to cry, and realizing that they still exist within you, and you are now also the adult comforting that child, parenting yourself through things your parents never prepared you for.

I really, really hope things improve for you. You deserve to enjoy life. You deserve to not hurt.

[0tivez]

I feel like to a certain extent I also had that toxic phase of calling people a poser lol and people calling me a poser as well :p in the end we like what we like and fuck people who try and make us feel bad about those things <3

I LOVE R/JUJUTSUSHI!!!! its the best place for spoilers 🥰 jk jk. I could go on an ugly rant it as well. Imagine someone cringe bc they find someone attractive and consume the media around them??? I hate people's logic sometimes; lemme enjoy hot anime 2d men/women fuck off :D

LMFAO I think thats the only downside of talking with strangers about theories and such I think?? sometimes they don't understand or aren't open minded about other povs (and the latter is fine, you don't have to accept something that you dislike but pls don't be mean about it you're gonna hurt my feelings)

I hold haikyuu people to grown up standards but they're literally in 1st year of hs tf TT lets be best friends! I'll be the Yamaguchi to your Tsukishima <3 but fr, I don't know if you've reached this point but the episode where Tsukki's backstory was revealed...I feel nothing but pain. I can also relate to him as well tbh; I like how Haikyuu characters are, as far as I know, very humanly fleshed out!

Ohhhh I love cotton candy! It's been a while since I've eaten it tho :,) ill add it to my watch list! lately ive kinda been fixing my life/schedule so I hope I can start reading csm and jjk and watch more anime!

I...I was watching, you know...I was watching pørñ TT

YOU JUST MADE ME REMEMBER!!! I WANTED TO TELL YOU BUT IT SLIPPED MY MIND ANYWAY WE GOT A RELEASE DATE!!!!!! THE MOVIE IS GONNA BE RELEASED THE 24TH OF MARCH allegedly and I say allegedly bc even though news channels have made comments about the release date, cinemas over haven't said anything?? but ig lets just hope for the best TT my cousin wanted to go to the movies wearing outfits inspired by Gojo and Nanami and it would be fun so imma just hope for the best :,)

I would also watch the shaky version. no doubt, no hesitation. A bookstore over here was selling jjk volume 8 at a discount price and I really wanted to buy it but my dad wouldn't let me TT I need to get a job fr

EYYYY CSM PROPAGANDA >:) I think its more of a Latin American Spanish thing tbh BUT LETS GO

Yuzuru is an ethereal being. There's just so much about him that blows me away I cant- and all his skating outfits :,D I keep thinking about skating aus since the olympics; they're plaguing my mind

#mappareanimateeverythingpleaseimbeggingyou2k22

I think one of my friends told me that mappa kinda exploited their workers but I wouldn't be 100% sure; I didn't fact check. I also don't know if im using the ; correctly bc I don't English very well as of lately lmfao.

I don't know where I stand with cosplays, I like the ones that aren't a carbon copy of the characters but outfits inspired by them and such. I think those are very neat!

I hope you had a nice weekend!! <3

-🥳 anon

right lmao it's also those same guys that drool over rem and shit too

i don't think i've seen his backstory yet. i DO know that his brother is voiced by geto's va tho 👀 i should really finish it

you were watching PORN in your FAMILY CAR??? you're a menace to society and i don't know if i respect you or hate you for that (jk jk.... unless)

i saw 18th of march but it was for usa :') it's nowhere close to where i am lol i might watch the crappy drive versions. for now, i will be hyped for the batman

AAH ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR VOL8 AND 9 FOR AGES BUT THEYRE BOTH SOLD OUT! they are not translated which means they are so fucking expensive but i was ready to pay for it.... anyways i bought vol 0 and 1 for very cheap, i need to just wait for them to get translated :') they're only at vol 2 but damn i can wait to see getos fat titties and toji traumatizing gojo

mappa most likely does exploit their workers. i did hear tho that they are paid well, better than most other animators, so baby steps ig

lol i don't really look for punctuation either, it's impossible to learn lol so PSA if i ever have weird punctuation, it's cause i do it the way i do in turkish lol

i agree! most cosplays don't work out well for that reason :( hakken is a god tho

have a good one!

[jayflrt]

Can u please give me reassurance that things get better with age? I've had such a drastic drop in self confidence and it's affecting every aspect of my life. It has a lot to do with the environment I'm in, so I'm really holding on to that hope that once I'm "out there" I can get back on my own two feet. I'm so hopeless rn. I'm so sorry u just seem so put together I'm jealous even tho our circumstances may be wildly different

hi anon ! IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG but i’ve had the same concerns as you did before, and i’m not sure where you are in your life rn, and i know i’m still an emerging adult, but i will give you my take on this !!

first of all i’m rlly sorry that you’re feeling this way :( but i hope you know that many ppl experience these feelings and come out strong regardless, so don’t let it beat you down !! 💗 i can’t promise that things get better with age but i can promise that as you grow, you’ll learn how to handle and cope with what’s thrown your way and be able to deal with it in ways that are healthier and less stressful on you. i think teenagers also tend to have a more negative outlook on life than older (25+) people do D: i mean i’m not 25 HAHAH and i definitely don’t think life is all rainbows and sunshine, but i think i’ve grown enough(??) to appreciate the little things

this may be a stupid analogy HAHAH but i never rlly appreciated the stars when i was a kid ?? i was just like oh, there’s a sky and stars. now im older and like ,, fascinated, like i always look up and just stargaze when i’m walking home and trying to look at the different constellations. i think just growing older and learning more (i took astrophysics so maybe that’s why??) i just think so much more ab it like how bright they are even tho they’re light years away, how they seem like they’re in the same place but they’re constantly moving just like us, and how they burn for so long 😵‍💫

so it’s kinda just my outlook on life changing in a way ?? i had sort of a dilemma when i was 16 where i couldn’t understand what my purpose was in life and couldn’t even imagine myself graduating high school at the time. my parents are helicopter parents and i couldn’t even imagine them trusting me enough to let me leave the house and go on trips with my friends

now that i’m a little older, my perspectives have changed on a lot. and maybe it might change as i grow even more, but i don’t necessarily think humans have a designated purpose, but just are able to live life to their fullest if they choose to. i focus less on “what i missed out on” because of my parents and more on what i can do now and how i can be a better parent when i have a kid. and now i’m literally on a trip with my friends for the weekend—something i never imagined my parents would even think of letting me do in high school. i think i was more judgmental of myself and my actions when i was a teenager, and i defended this by thinking it was because others would judge me. now, though, i’ve embraced myself more and have accepted that i have faults but don’t let it break me down(?) in a sense

again, i’m not sure how old are you rn but my self confidence was pretty low when i was in high school :o i think a lot of it had to do bc i kept comparing myself to the ppl around me. i’ve also noticed (and seen in my social psych classes) that ppls self confidence usually increases with age :’) when you get out there and start doing things for yourself, you’re gonna start feeling kinder to yourself and realizing that everything you were beating yourself up for doesn’t matter. i don’t mean that in a negative way but in the sense that like in ten years you’re not gonna have the same worries that you’re having rn 🤧

i’m definitely not like an expert on anything and i don’t think there are any clear cut answers on how to live your life, but i will say that you will be okay and what you’re feeling now isn’t a reflection of how you will feel in the future. life will be a bitch sometimes but be a bitch back and make the most of it 💖

please also note that i am not a therapist im just a writing blog on the internet HAHAH so if your concerns are deeper than this and go into something potentially triggering then it’s wise to see a professional instead 

[rainbowsky]

hi rbs! im the anon who asked for non explicit fic recs. thank you very much for the rec, and of course also the person who saw it and had a whole list of of recs! I've almost got through them all and they rly are lovely and so sweet! It helped keep my mind off things as well :' ) based on what i know about you, im certain your recs wouldn't be the uhhh tasteless (?) kind of rated E, it's just me orz. i remember reading one of the fics on your rec list, the one with yibo turning into a cat, and still being pretty embarrassed and skipping that part... tho the story was super cute on the whole! ty again, and i hope you're well ^_^

This is in reference to a previous post.

More than a lot of things, fan fiction really is a matter of personal taste. As such, fic recommendations from one person aren't always going to fit into another person's comfort zone.

What's considered 'tasteful' is incredibly subjective. Dominant social groups often try to impose their ideas of 'taste' on the general public, and I actually find that more offensive than stories that feature themes I dislike (ABO, mpreg, gender switch, etc.). Everyone should be free to set their own boundaries within a consensual, non-harming social framework, and people shouldn't be shamed for their kinks and interests unless they act on them in a harmful way.

I definitely have boundaries in terms of what I feel comfortable with, but they're more about characterization, framing and tone than they are about what's actually happening in a scene. And it's not always easy to quantify what exactly makes it possible for me to enjoy one story while another story makes me squirm and cringe.

I could say, for example, "I don't like when a story is focused around sex or seems written entirely as a lead-up to a sexual encounter" and that would be mostly true, but there are exceptions. For example, I really enjoyed Venus despite the fact that it's pretty much entirely about a sexual encounter.

The best way I could put it to you is to say that I don't read explicit stories for the sex, and so if a story is going to be explicit it better really sell me on what's happening. I need to feel like this is what would naturally happen between these people, and it better read like interesting, well-written action that stays within the characterization of the participants or I will lose interest.

It makes perfect sense to me that grown adults will often have sex, and in the context of a story I am perfectly happy to read about how those things take place, and it doesn't bother me in the least. In fact, in many cases it gives the story more depth and the relationship more intensity and realism. I suppose I prefer stories that don't over-emphasize it, but there are also many stories that feature a lot of sex that are among my favorites.

As long as a story is sweet, interesting and well-written, and takes me on a journey I enjoy, I'm not going to get to caught up in what the author does with the relationship. And that's not even just about sex, it's also about things like affairs or breakups or arguments. If it's a good story that has a happy ending, I'm happy to let the author take me on that journey.

I think the thing a lot of people struggle with is, they just don't like that there is sex written about real people. I have to admit, I have a hard time relating to that perspective. The stories are fiction, and aren't pretending otherwise. I would no more be offended by a story being written about them having sex than I would be by a story being written about them going waterskiing. It's fiction.

Some people are offended by the idea of stories being written about real people at all, regardless of whether they're sexual or not, and again - I don't have that problem. I think it's fun to read about interesting people being placed in unusual circumstances.

If someone wrote such a story about me I would be flattered, not offended. Even if the story was horrible and a total misinterpretation of my personality. The very fact that someone wrote the story shows that something about me captured their imagination, that they found me interesting enough to inspire creativity. How could that ever be a bad thing?

So the misgivings other people have aren't the same ones I have. I feel 100% comfortable with reading stories about GGDD, sexual or not. Some things offend me or even repulse me, and that's perfectly normal. To each their own.

And people's feelings on this are subject to change, believe me. There was a time when I really wasn't comfortable with any of it. Now I'm recommending stories to people. Anything's possible. 😊

Glad you were able to find some stories you enjoyed!

For more of my thoughts on this topic, see this post.

My GGDD fic recs can be found here.

My Wangxian fic recs can be found here.

[stimmypaw]

stimmypaw reads the apprentice’s quest, a blog post

A big one, just a bunch of thoughts as I’m reading it, of course, lots of spoilers for the first book in the Warrior Cats series A Vision of Shadows. This will be covering just the first book tho, it’s all in the Read More, let’s gooooooo!!!!

Vision Of Shadows time

Lots of new cats!!! I don't remember these guys as kits or anything wrow!!! I like their names but itll take a while to get used to them

Also cant believe they printed stormcloud's dead name

Omg there's a cat named beepaw

I love these cats all of them so much im going 2 cry

All new names are perfect

I FORGOT HOW GORGEOUS THE CAT VIEW IN THE RECENT BOOKS WAS, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

I'm glad leafpool smokes weed

I love reading from Jayfeather's point of view, his grumpiness hasn't grown on me ever but thats just me, I still enjoy it lots he's great and its fun

Firestar and Leopardstar's characterizations are On Point i love it

OOF i feel so bad when jayfeather is mean to others, poor kestrelflight, I love those two

Lovely Jayfeather moments now its time for the first chapter

I like this duo! Also I didn't think I'd ever say this but shut up squirrelflight one can have fun AND learn with their mentors

Sparkkit sounds nice she makes jingling bell noises when she walks around

Alderkit is chadphobic /j

I can see Alderkit taking deep breaths to relax its rotating in my mind its beautiful

God this first chapter feels so good and comfortable, like eating noodles and chicken nuggets. I am so so deeply in love with it, its gorgeous!

Sparkkit is so perfect too, and Graystripe remembering Firestar aaaaaa

DUSTPELT SAID WHAT? PHDHAHAHHA OH NOOOO I don't remember their relationship much, must have been fun, I love young little creature squirrelflight I MISSED HER SO BAD WOW

I started reading the second chapter and died, I think ill take a break now 2 sleep heehhee

I love them describing twoleg stuff its always so fun and alien, like watching an animal planet show about funny sea creatures.

Also I have determined sparkpaw is my favorite, might be my favorite cat ever next to hollyleaf??? I really identify with her and also she's autistic i have decided that

Alderpaw baby noooo hhhh their mentor at least is trying to show its okay, he seems very emotionally distant so far and alderheart feels very emotionally needy, actually both of them do, did I mention I love Sparkpaw??? I might be imprinting myself 2 much on her

I love how like, its clear both of them are absolutely anxious and worried about others opinions on them, which is clearly something they got from being Firestar's grandkids, deputy kids and leader kids. And bramblestar too, I recall him being quite the anxious lad ahhah. Sparkpaw will be showing confidence and being loud but the second anyone isn't approving of her or she does something "wrong" she gets small and quiet, and she ended up setting a high bar for herself by being good at hunting and fighting so I'm curious to see how that will go. Also there's nothing wrong with being guided through a crowded place to meet others Sparkpaw!!! I bet the two of them would be stuck without not knowing how to talk to others had Needlepaw not shown up. I love them, my gf is mocking me saying I'm a Sparkpaw kinnie.

Apprentices will like learn about a thing and tell everyone about it all the time and assume its always true in every situation and thats valid I love kids like that. Also in my head Needlepaw kinda looks like a porcupine. Oh boo she's fatphobic >:(

I love apprentices they are so fun and silly, just making fun of the leaders like its nothing. The way they are clearly learning and absorving everything their warriors say and do like sponges its just ***chefs kiss***

Omg shadowclan is just full of 12 year olds help

And then the old person said "it sure is hard being old!" And everyone clapped

Shout-out to pretty Riverclan apprentice #481977 I love her

Leafpool: 👁👁

Alderpaw: I knew it im cursed and awful and terrible and I will never amount to anything

I wish the cats didn't seem to be giving up on him so easily though

Ah yes the classic thunderclan move "you suck, into the medicine hole you go"

The way sparkpaw changes the things she says and how she does when it isn't the status quo around her oooooooooooooyeaaaaaaa I love 1 autistic cat

Alderpaw considering your problems lesser than other cats won't help you deal with them better bro

I love Needlepaw's excitement about Alderpaw being a medicine cat apprentice, and her sarcasm, she feels like a preppy teenager

Ahhh this is so good, I am so thirsty for family moments like this, just Alderpaw bonding with grandma, I’ll definitely want to draw this one it’s so sweet.

Oh to be young and silly.

I really am enjoying like, Alderpaw’s struggles to seeing how he fits in the clan, how he fits in himself, how he wants to be seen and what he wants to be, it’s really good. I Am Engaged(tm) With This Plot.

SPARKPAW NOOOOOOO but also Yes I want her to be shown vulnerable and weak please 

POP, god watching this stuff always awful, the cats must have thought he broke her ahahah

Also, really great that they learned from Dovewing and now like leave choices and discussions about prophecies between adults

And plus Brambles seemed to take the time to explain stuff to him, seems he wont be going alone either the 1 thing is that he will be the only one knowing what the journey is really about, why though??? I didnt read Firestar's Quest or whatever why does Skyclan need to be secret??? Seems quite silly really!

YESSSS SANDSTORM GET HIS ASS FIGHT FIGHT LOVE THIS LOVE SANDSTORM

I could feel squirrelflight nearing explosion here, this was very fun, i wish they werent hiding this though!!!

The secret thing is showing to be a plot point so I am once again Very Engaged

Also, wonderful dialogue bit, someone asked Bramblestar why an Elder is going and:

Lovely perfect perfect

I miss you dovewing

SQUIRRELFLIGHT LOVE YOU

Oh boy this is it

Traveling book moment

Graystripe: Soooo you're excited to go on the journey to the old territories and Skyclan?

Sandstorm: Yes! It's been ages and-

Graystripe: I'm sure the tribe will love the visit too

Sandstorm, groaning: Oh noooo I forgot about how the tribe is in the way of every journeyyyyy noooooo they're such a racist caricature, please tell me you have a plan

Graystripe: Yes don't worry about it the writers forgot about the tribe in my comic book so you can just use the excuses i did to actively avoid it

Sandstorm: Oh thank Starclan

Sparkpaw's desperation to prove herself oof, her anxiety with understanding the prophecy, oh boy, and Alderpaw feeling too overwhelmed by the questions and not managing to talk!!!! I am so glad they are both autistic

Hoping "Being Leader" wont mean theyre putting nonsense responsibility on the apprentice again

Ah good Sandstorm is on the lead again, as she should, she should have been leader she would have been great

I can't believe Alderpaw thinks I look stupid and diseased :( /j

Everything about this twoleg scene was scandalous I loved it, Sparkpaw just toppled over a trash bag and they are eating from it, iconic, also did those twolegs throw out a whole turkey? Damn

Its not that Sparkpaw is freakishly good at hunting she is very hungry and constantly on the watch for things to eat

BRO Ive never been in a road where the drivers are this wild, throwing bottles out of the car????? Ive seen Fruit being thrown like once or twice, what the fuck!!! I'm glad they are going to wait until the morning to continue

Okay I was not expecting Needlepaw to show up this girl is chaotic I love her

ACTUALLY YEAH WHY DIDNT THEY TELL THE OTHER CLANS ABOUT THIS SINCE THE PROPHECY IS ABOUT ALL THE CLANS???

Needlepaw is like Rono from Bambi 2 if he wasnt a mean bully and thats very epic

Very curious character though, how come her mentor isnt teaching her the warrior code properly? Is that an issue with all apprentices?? Is the clan overwhelmed by 12 year olds and they won?

Having lots of fun trying to play the game "what animal are they describing this time" the erins made here, im glad they're in a farm. Worried about Sandstorm though :c

Fuck im worried about sandstorm a lot, her wound hurt on Me

Yeah water is good youre right sandstorm

Aw man I hope she's okay let her at least survive to meet skyclan please

NOOOOOOOO SANDSTORMA A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sandtteooonrjrbbbmmnnnnnnnnnn

I am so sad

Alderpaw denying it, Starclan shining upon their vigil, everything crushed me i cried

Alderpaw considers Nihilism

Haven't seen a cat thank starclan for prey in a while its

Oh look they time skipped a journey! They don't tend to do that thats nice

I'm so excited to be meeting The Skyclan that everyone in the fandom knows now

So far they seem kinda mean but thats most clans at first glance really

Okay somethings up

I uh have heard of Darktail pretty sure he's a bad guy so yeah something really bad happened to Skyclan

Am worried

Darktail sounds like an evil himbo* i may be enjoying him actually

*himbos are usually nice by default so he's just evil and stupid and strong

Does needletail know these cats already?????

Ah

Shit

Oh okay fuck

I've been quietly reading the rest because I am just concerned and I want them to be okay as quickly as possible

Waterfalls are a classic nice

Oh boy time for our unlikely duo of Alderpaw and Needlepaw to get out of a Mess!

I did not expect this to end up with the two of them journeying into parenthood, but I'm happy it did

Well actually I'm very unhappy theyre so lost and there's no sign of Skyclan I am very worried for everyone involved Sparkpaw must be feeling awful!

Twigkit is a great name

Yeah this ended terribly

Overall! Frigging loved it this book was GOOD and a great start for the series I am very excited to read the rest, SO WORRIED ABOUT SKYCLAN THO AAAA the characterizations were great the characters were great the pacing was fun and I didn't get bored once!

I think o only wish I had read this sooner really so I could look up others thoughts without getting heavily spoiled about the last books, I can watch a few videos already though thats a start ahhaha. But yeah it was great and it felt very good to read, haven't swallowed up a book so quickly in a very long time!!! Very happy I finally got my hands on this 💕💖💕💖💕💖 cant wait 2 start the next one

If you read all this, hope you had fun hahaha, ill be making more of these cus theyre fun and I like talking about warrior cats thats just my thing

Til next time

[aria-laughs]

Real talk..(needed to vent, feel free to not read this if you don't like long rants)

When i was 11 years old i had already been through my fair share of crap. Coming from a "broken" home with little money, a depressed mother and an absent father. At that time i remember being bullied as a biproduct of my sister stoping one of her classmates (a 13 year old girl) from traveling half accross the contry to meet her 19 year old boyfriend who she'd met online for the first time.. under the pretence that she was traveling to visit my dad with my big sister. This all ended with the police stoping the train and picking the girl up before she reached her destination and everyone didn't have to suffer through the ordeal with a minor being raped or worse by a yound adult in a strange city..anyway. when the summer ended and we (me and my two siblings) gor back home, all these rumors spread about us and school became tricky. I got used to it tho, i had my friends and i quickly learned to keep close to teachers whenever i was alone. At the home front my mom became sick and the kids got a lot of grown up responsibilities. It was okay too.. kids get used to a lot, and today im a wizz in the kitchen and i clean with the best of them.

My mother had a temper, and would hit us when we did something wrong. I remember trying to cover for my siblings as much as possible, trying to shield them from the worst of it. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE my mother. She's been through hell and her sroty is worse than anything i've ever heard of. I understand what happened when i grew up and i love her because she allways did her best.. but i haven't forgiven her for making my home unsafe. At 11 years old one of my teachets notised that i had a hard time with my schoolwork. They couldn't get me to focus on my work and i was distracted by anything. I remember the letters mixing up as i read, and it became impossible to do my homework because no one could see the letters moving like i could. The teached contacted my mom and my stepfather and told them he'd talk to a specialist about me maybe having ADHD. The next week my mom dropped me off at the specialist and i got tested in every subject known to man. As usuall i exelled at language, history and music. But everything else was a bit off, i remember hearing him telling my mom that it couldn't be HDHD because my memory was too good. But refered her to a doctor for more tests. The ordeal took another week before my mother came to pick me up at lunch one day and told me we had to go to the hospital.

I had a thyroid condition that firsly was almost non-exsistent, and secoundly was unheard of in someone my age. They took blood, and sent me to get an MR and CT. When all the tests came back, we got the good news that i wouldn't die if they treated it quickly. But since i was still waiting for normal bodyparts to arrive, and hadn't gone through puberty yet.. he had no idea where to start. I don't remember the name of the medication, but i remember taking 15 a day. 5 in the morning, 5 when i got home from school and 5 before bed. I took them and 39 minutes later i was sprinting to the bathroom puking my guts out. This obviously didn't work in the long run and by the end of it i was so skinny you could see my teeth through my cheeks. They changed my meds and i stopped with the hurling. Instead i gained about 30 kg in the first 6 months and looked like a beach ball on legs. And as a kid being bullied, this wasn't that fun. Let me remind you that this had been going on for a while and tho my mom did what she could.. the was depressed and didn't see how bad it got for me and all the responsibilities i had at home made me dissapear in the day-to-day of it all. Alone and scared as the bullying became physical I panicked and stoped taking my meds, and all my symptoms came back. I would sleep for 14 hours and wake up exhausted. I'd go full days without getting hungry and i'd get moodswings and get real clumsy. My family got used to this and the symptoms stoped being symptoms and started being "just me".

So now i'd wake up and have to care for my siblings, go to school without lunch for myself because i had to make it for my siblings, or forgetting to shower because i had to remind my brother to do it. I get off the buss and get my ass kicked on my way to the classroom. Some days i'd get through it and come home to start dinner for my family, and other times the bullying sent me to the ER to get stitched up (i didn't have to make dinner on those days). This happened often enough that the doctor knew me by my first name, and instead of "how did you hurt yourself?) I'd get "Again!? When the nurses came to get me. One day i slept for 16 hours and my mother confronted me about my weightloss and asked if i'd been taking my meds. I came clean and a few hours at the doctors office and one frustrating car ride later. I'd promissed to take my pills again, but by that point i had ruined my body enough to never get better. So at 15 years old the doctors decided that they'd treat my thyroid with radioactive iodine. This worked great and killed the thyroid gland, making me dependend on meds for the rest of my life.

For anyone who don't know, the thyroid gland is responsible for your bodys metabolism. This means everything... your metabolism is a part of every funktion of every organ in your entire body, tho we usually think about how fast you burn fat because this is what we see on the outside.

We did our best, and we got through it. I had a safe place with my best friend and his family. And i'd escape there as often as i could. His mother would remind me to take my meds, she'd let me shower at their place and when she realised that i never ate at school she started packing lunch for me to send with her son every day.

I don't think i'd survive and be the person i am today without them. I remember the day i finally told them what was going on at home when i grew up, at this point i had grown up and moved away from home. I had started opening up to people i trusted and understood the power of talking about my problems. i never ment it as a "why didn't you see".. im thankful for my life, even the bad pars, but i needed them to know how much they saved me. To understand how much i love them all. I'll keep their reactions to myself, but i'll tell you that i have never felt more treasured in my life.

I was 22 years old the first time someone told me that I never deserved the abuse at home. I was 25 years old when i told my mother i forgave her for the physical stuff, but that i couldn't forgive her for stealing my feeling of home and safety. And i was today years old when i wrote it down for anyone to see.

I've been taking my meds for about 17 years now, but I have yet to actually get a normal metabolism. My last stunt was that i suddenly didn't need that much medicine so my metabolism speed up to lifethreatening speed and i had to endure panic attacks, dizziness, lack of consentration and shaking so bad that i almost quit school and almost sent me into a brainfailure (yes thats a thing) over the summer. My doctors paniced and reduced my meds so much that i didn't get nearly enough. This ended with me loosing weight, not eating, shaking, being sick and passing out all over the place, and almost sent me into a life threatening coma as my body overcompensated for the loss of thyroid hormones. My dad said something i've never heard my family say before. We were eating dinner last weekend and i was having a bad day when he told me "its painful to watch you struggle like this". And i almost cried, this was the first time in forever that a parent told me that they see me. And now i'm finally starting to get back to where im used to.

I have skipped a lot of stuff that happened. Some things i don't think i'll ever talk about, and some things that are too personal or too painful or too stupid to write down. But i needed to work through the new stuff, to reflecr back and to realise how close i came to loosing my life again this year. How lucky i am that i not only held on for dear life, but that with all the crap i felt. All the sickness and panic and everything. I managed to finish this semester at school. I managed to survive again, and im 6 months away from reaching my goal of allways being able to help when im needed. I am so proud of myself for getting to where i am today. And im so thankful!!

[lareinenoir]

•Its Enough• PT II

Loki × Reader

⚠ WARNING ⚠ FLUFF, MAKING OUT, SUGGESTIVE CONTENT/LANGUAGE, RARE SWEARING, MAY BE SENSITIVE TO SOME READERS

A/N: Hope you guys like this. Idk how many words. If you haven't read PT one, then go to the magnifying glass and type, loki x reader. No cap tho, I was kinda horny while writing some of this🙈. To much information? Yeah? Ok...Imma just go and let you read. Byeeee 🤗

*****

"Brother? What are you doing up?" Asks Thor walking into the kitchen.

It was rather early in the morning and Thor was always the first one awake in the tower. Loki living there was only temporary. The rest of the avengers weren't truly convinced he had changed, so he and Y/N lived in the tower. Where all eyes were on him.

"Trying to make Y/N her favorite breakfast. She likes pancakes and orange juice.

"Has she tried a delicious poptart. I care for the strawberry and shocolate milkashake."

"Thor, that seems to be the only thing you talk about. Im sorry, but Y/N will not be feasting on Tart pops." Said Loki rolling his eyes "It looks more like a dessert then breakfast."

"Poptart."

"Thats what I said. Tart pops." Loki replied rolling his eyes.

"The midgardians do love their pastries and concentrated food." He nods "Speaking of, have you seen the poptarts? At all?"

Loki wasn't going to entertain this anymore. A little part of him was stressed as he continued to make eggs. He was very focused on that. The where abouts of Thor's precious poptarts was the least of his concerns.

"I'd like to inform you all that Miss. L/N is approaching the door." Said J.A.R.V.I.S

Soon there was a knock and Loki scrambled to make sure everything was perfect. Thor was still scrounging through the cabinets, looking for pop tarts as Loki scrambled to get the door.

"Morning." She waved, but was greeted by a kiss. "Wow. That was very very pleasant." Y/N blushed "Do it again?"

Loki chuckled and spun her around, kissing her hand. "I haven't had the honor of staring at your face in a long time."

"You saw me last night. I face timed you remember?" Y/N giggles standing on her tip toes, kissing his chin.

"I remember how strange it was. That magic box was showing me your face and I could hear you almost so clearly. Like you were right in front of me." He sighed looking down at her face "And you said it wasn't sorcery."

"It isn't." Y/N laughed "That 'magic box' is called an IPhone." She replied using air quotes "Its how we communicate. The technology here is very advanced. You can face time, call, text, watch videos from all over the world. All at your fingertips."

"You know where else I wish was my fingertips were, pet?" He asks with a sly grin, making Y/N cover her mouth to hide how much her cheeks hurt from heat rising to them.

It was meant to be amusing, but Y/N was quite shy about the topic. She didn't really know what to say when Loki would talk like that. Y/N wasn't really experienced.

"Speaking of the magic box, I found a vizio on the Jue tube and have a little surprise for you."

"Oh? A surprise? And its video, Loki. YouTube, not Jue tube."

Taking his hand, Y/N was walked into the kitchen and was greeted by all the avengers. "Morning everyone!" She said

They all responded and she couldn't help but look back at Loki. He didn't look to happy. "May we join you for breakfast?"

"Yeah." Nodded Pepper who was chowing down on pancakes. "Their isn't any syrup, Tony never put it on the list."

"I will pick some up later." Tony nods "J.A.R.V.I.S, add syrup to the shopping list."

"And Orange Juice." Bruce shouts

"Am I the only one here who enjoys apple juice rather than Orange?" Asks Natasha

"Yes!" All the avengers nod

"Y/N which one do you prefer?" Asks the captain, gulping down some of the orange juice.

"I like orange juice too. Sorry, Nat." Y/N giggles "What about you, Loki?"

But he was angry. The tight line on his lips, his eyebrows sewn together made everyone look very surprised. "You imbeciles!" He shouts "This was breakfast made for Y/N. Not you!"

"Loki-"

"I made breakfast for Y/N! You savages are stuffing your face, and wonder why you have such a big gut!"

"Just to let you know, I didn't eat anything. I'm looking for the poptarts." Thor says "Keep your anger towards them."

"Enough! One more time I have to hear about those ghastly pastries, Tart Pops I'll drive my dagger through your chest!" He finishes shouting, then knocking over a vase and storming out.

"Loki! Wait-"

The avengers, one by one, stood up. They felt a little bad but the captain made his way over to her. "I am sorry about the breakfast."

"I'll go talk to him. Maybe calm him down a bit." She answers back going after Loki.

Y/N hadn't really seen Loki get angry, but there hasn't really been anything to get angry over. Calling his name again, Y/N sees him pouting.

Pouting.

What an odd sight...

It was kind of amusing to see the god of mischief pouting like a child.

"I can't believe you made breakfast for me." She cooes sitting down on the edge of his bed. Taking a hold of his pale hands, Y/N laced them with hers and kissed them softly. "It was really sweet of you."

Loki felt her head lean on his shoulder and he sighed. "You didn't even get to eat it." He replied "I should go back there and turn them all into rats."

"But you won't." Giggled Y/N "Its the thought that counts."

"Maybe I could have the chance to make you breakfast again, pet."

"Sure. If that will flip that silly frown upside down." She says laying kisses on his cheek.

"I'm sorry what? Upside down frown?" He questions "I must sound really incompetent. Do explain."

Rolling her eyes, Y/N looked at him. "A frown upside down is a smile. I think I'll keep the metaphors to a minimum."

"Right." He nods bringing her forehead to his. "You're absolutely ravishing." Loki mutters, putting his lips on her nose. "I've been stuck in this place all weekend. I think Monday is my favorite day."

"Is that so?" She giggles pushing him onto the bed, straddling his waste.

"Quite." He nods as she lays kisses along his neck. A soft moan, leaves his throat. "Stark complains about Monday all the time. Besides, It's the only day you don't have to work and I have you all to my self."

"Then. I. Am. A. Lucky. Girl." She winked in between kisses, pulling his shirt from over his head, throwing it to the side. "You actually look really good in our clothes." Y/N commented, pulling off her own, top. "Very...sexy."

"I like that word." He chuckled, rubbing his lips together. "It's another way to say-" Y/N didn't let him finish. She crushes her lips to his, slipping her tongue into his mouth. Of course Loki knew of this kiss, putting it into practice was the best part.

The two liked to battle as there tongues grazed each others mouths, searching for something and how tight Loki's grip got around her body, made it even better.

Moaning into each others mouths made Loki pull back to see her swollen lips. He pecked it a bit and felt her run her fingers through his jet black hair, with sly little smirks smeared equally upon their faces.

"You my dear pet," says Loki, reaching for the back of her bra to unhook it. "are positively the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on." He whispers in her ear, giving Y/N chills down her back, as Loki tosses her bra to the side of the bed.

"Tell me more." She said back, not just the cool air making her nipples perk up and get hard, along with the man just below her pants.

Loki loved whispering things to Y/N. He loved how the little goosebumps trailed up her arms, neck, back made her moan his name beggingly.

"Hey Loki!" Said Bruce barging in "Have you seen the toaster? J.A.R.V.I.S said you were having trouble with-"

"OH MY GOSH!" Y/N screamed getting off Loki to grab a pillow to cover herself. "WHAT THE HELL! DON'T YOU KNOCK!"

"What's going on in here?" Asks Steve walking in too

Soon everyone was in the room shouting at each other. Everyone very confused about what was happening.

"HOLD ON A SEC!" Tony shouts, louder than everyone and that grabs their attention. "What the hell is going on."

"I was just asking about the toaster for Thor's poptarts. Clint thought it'd be a good idea to introduce him to the heated version."

"And that gave you the right to just barge in?" Asks Y/N still a bit upset, but laughing at the same time. "Unbelievable."

"You all grown more irritating by the second." Loki says between his teeth

"Why don't we give them their privacy." Wanda suggests. Natasha nodding her head agreeing.

"What about the toaster?" Asks Thor "I'd very much like to try-"

"Forget about it, buddy." Clint answered back, ushering everyone out.

"Finally." Sighed Y/N, hearing the door shut. Her sneaky smirk returning.

"I thought they'd never leave." He yanks her arms, back onto the bed. A littls squeal escapes and they just laugh, kissing each other inbetween. Loki now settled, somewhat, inbetween her legs.

"Hey guys." The door swings open again.

"DAMNIT TONY!" Yelled Y/N getting more annoyed. He had his hands over his eyes.

"I'm not a peeker." He says reaching into his pocket. With a swift motion, he tossed a little package their way.

"Really Tony!" She sighed but also laughing at it, and Loki couldn't help but do it too. "A condom?"

"Stay safe kids." He then exits the room

"Don't worry, we'll put this to some good use." Whispers Loki into Y/N ear

[evswiftie]

Full breakdown on how I relate look what you made me do to all the past times I've been sexually assaulted

" I don't like your little games" -When I was 11 and swimming in the public pool at the YMCA and this 30 year old man asked if he could play with me in the pool and pick me up and throw me in the water but he "had to touch me here first (he digitally raped me) ( I didnt even know what a Vagina is or does as that age) -When I was 12 and my dads best friend who lived in my house would tell my parents he would watch after me when they went out but instead forcibly touched me and made me touch him. And he would bang on my bedroom door when I was pressing up against it shut because it didn't have a lock, he would offer me to play outside with him on my trampoline just so he could be on top of me and suck in my nipples again but I screamed to leave me alone. When the guy in sophomore year of high school who I had my first real big crush on told me I could trust him so I told him all about my life and he was my first kiss but then right after, he threw me on the ground grabbed my hand and made me give him a hand job and then went around school taunting me by mocking me with my secrets I told him and told people I was a slut. And he call me during the middle of the night threatening that if I didn't send him nudes he would make worse rumors and spread them around. When the 20 year old guy who took my virginity from me raped me when I was 16 tried to email me, text me and follow me on Instagram as if time passing had changed everything. BITCH DONT TALK TO ME. When the guy who molested me outside of a bar gave me the excuse the next day that he was to drunk to know what he was doing even though I saw him get in his car and drive away and text me that night he made it home safe. IF YOURE SOBER ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOURE SOBER ENOUGH TO NOT SEXUALLY MOLEST SOMEONE WHO IS TO INTOXICATED TO STAND STRAIGHT. " I don't like your tilted stage " AKA an uneven playing field. When the guy who "had to" digitally rape me in the YMCA swimming pool knew i was to young to know what was happening to me and I was easy to listen to adults so he told me not tell anyone so I stayed quiet about it until I was 17. -When the guy who was my dads best friend knew I was a caring kid and wouldnt tell anyone so my dad wouldn't loose a friend so he took advantage of me. And when I finally told my dad and he made his friend come to the house to confront him DUDE WAS SPEAKING 100% Spanish so I couldnt know what he was saying against me. -When the guy I trusted in high school majorly taunted me outside school and was so sneaky about how he did on school grounds so he wouldnt get in trouble -When the guy who raped me at age 16 asked me if i was ready and I said "I dont know, I think I am" but he was controlling and forceful and went on top of me and I hated it and was to scared to run away or tell him to get off me. -When the guy who molested me outside the bar did it where no one could see and theres not cameras so there was no proof and he apologized the next day. "The role you made me play, of the fool, no I dont like you" All of these people made me play the delusional crazy girl whose making shit up for attention " i don't like your perfect crime, How you laugh when you lie -When I was tired of staying silent for ten years so I finally decided to report something horrible happening to me , at the age of 22 sobbing in the car feeling worthless and like nothing but a sex toy, like my feelings dont matter because all Ill ever be is my body and nothing more, I picked up the phone and called the police, they told me that because I was talking to the guy in the bar before him molesting me he probably thought I wanted it so they told me I should accept his apology. They told me that because I cant remember because I was to intoxicated to remember clearly if he forcibly grabbed my hand and put it down his pants or if I put my hands down there it doesn't even count as sexual assault. Even tho I KNO I was screaming to get out. "You said the gun was mine, isn't cool, no, I don't like you"(oh!) They always tell you to report things but then when you do they dont do anything to help "But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time, Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time" -After being denied of reporting my most recent sexual assault I was in hysterics sobbing in my car realizing that anyone can do anything they want to me and feel like such a low life and absolutely nothing and get away with it. Snot and tears were everywhere and I was messaging my friends saying I cant live like this anymore, whats the point? When Im just going to be tossed from guy to guy simply for their pleasure while they take my dignity from me, when all I get is cat called and harassed and pressured to give myself to them I lifted my head up and realize that if 22 year old erica can't get justice then 11year -16 year old Erica can, NO MATTER what those abusers say to deny it or beat around the bush they WILL go fucking down because I was a MINOR. And theyre not getting out of it with that crime "I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined" -after realizing im gonna come for blood I picked up the phone and called up the police dept and said I'm reporting a sexual assault from 10 years ago and this was at midnight when the police showed up at my house to get a written statement and proceeded to list off every other time I was sexually assaulted . To which the officer accused me of "cop shopping" BITCH YEA. Because I didn't get what I wanted from the first one. BITCH YOU RIGHT IM GONNA KEEP REPORTING IT UNTIL SOMEONE LISTENS. "I check it once, then I check it twice, oh" -Did they really sexually assault me if I didnt scream "no" and "rape" and push and shove my way out ? Yes okay ! Just gotta double check I know what happened to me before others tell me over exaggerating! "Ooh, look what you made me Look what you made me do Look what you just made me Look what you just made me Ooh, look what you made me Look what you made me do Look what you just made me Look what you just made me do" -the next morning after listing off these names to the rude police officer I slept until noon, got up in my grown up boss ass outfit, got in my red buggy and zoomed to the YMCA with my sunglasses feeling like a bad ass scene from a movie, I catwalked into the YMCA to the chorus of LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO and I said I need to see a manager and report an incident then that manager came over and I told her everything that happened in that public pool to me and she was dumb founded because they have a "no tolerance policy" "I don't like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me, you asked me for a place, locked me out then threw a feast (WHAT?!)" -Every single one of these manipulating sexual abusers have affected me in so many ways for the rest of my life. I went to couseling in high school and my recent new Doctor , those two told me that a lot of how I act, talk and think has to do with the after affects and symptoms of being sexually abused and that a portion in my FUCKING BRAIN paused on developing and has a fog over it and cant pay attention to things and I am easily forgetful and space out way more often than the normal person. I DONT LIKE HOW THESE SICK FUCKS HAVE THE KEYS TO THE PERSON I AM TODAY. I don't like that the like psychos who molested me when I was a pre teen took something from me I never had,finding myself at such a crucial age and my confidence I had as a kid. "The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama." While I've been in the deep state of depression and feeling empty I stand there and notice how everyone else lives goes on and theyre happy mean while Im dead on the inside "But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma" -But while Im standing there feeling like everyone can just pretend like it never happened to me even when I told them , I cant help but think of the the sexual abusers getting put in jail or getting their lives taken away from them because they deserve that. "And then the world moves on, but one things for sure Maybe I got mine, but you all get yours" -Maybe for now my karma for trying to go out for fun was to be molested by a boy ll be punished for what you did. " I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me be the actress starring in your bad dreams I dont trust nobody and nobody trusts me" -when the boy in high school spread all these awful rumors about me and showed the nudes I sent him (because he threatened me) to his classes, I lost friends at school , no one wanted to talk to me and in return I was left being fearful for the rest of my life that anyone could leave me at any moment. .. " I don't trust nobody" -I turned to all the people whose ever told me " I'll be there for you if you ever need anything "but when that something i need is to tell someone about how I was sexually assaulted they tell everything except things that will actually lift my soul up and make me feel better but no one cares enough to actually check up on me after hearing a horrible traumatic thing happening to me because I don't have the energy to come to people myself every day and come forward on how low I feel. I had people tell me to "just go home" when I'd call them up sobbing in my car and ask them if I could come over for them to comfort me. I've had people literally leave me because I confronted them about only sending me a sad face or "I'm sorry" and nothing more. LIKE. MAYBE SEND ME THE CLEAN SOEECH IDK. I'm desperate to hear some words of encouragement but no people HATE confrontation So much they'll just leave me instead of owning up and offering me anything more then a sad face through a text and their sympathy. "I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams" -Im coming for revenge , I'm gonna make you pay for what you did to me so I'll be in your nightmares "I'm sorry the old Erica can't come to the phone right now, why? OH , cuz she's dead" It's been months since I was sexually assaulted last and the scared old fragile me is dead and I'm becoming this new fierce woman who protects myself. I have two open sexual assault cases open right now and I'm looking for mental health help and okay, I'm overly distracted , it's like there's this fog over my mind and I can't see or think clearly and it's affecting my every day life, I can't do well at work and when I'm in a normal conversation , and cry myself to sleep when I feel worthless. But I've found time can heal most anything. P.s Taylor I admire you so much for defending yourself during your sexual assault trial, I heard you got sassy.. I would have to... it's pretty annoying when you have to relive the incident numerous amount of times and people don't believe you so you have to say it over and over again until you just start to cry because you just want justice. My parents didn't report to the police about the guy who was my dads best friend touching me when I was 12 because they knew all the interviews and questions I would be asked and they didn't want me to relive it m, I was 12 and scared..... 10 years later I got the guts to do but only because i can't live like his anymore unneeded something to matter so i went for justice, I had a interview for a detective and police man in an office in the police station, it was video recorded and everything, they asked me about every little detail of all the 4 times he molested me, it was awful and I cried so much during the whole thing I told them how he took something away from me I never really had as a 12 year old.. my confidence and finding who I am. And saying that out loud made me cry even more but I felt like it was necessary to say so they could believe me and see how much he hurt me. They said it's going to take a long to time to be able to find the him and when they do I need to be prepared for him to deny it and if so we might go to court. I Do NOT have the money for that at all but taylor, I heard you are donating to foundations that help girls defend themselves and I might have to use that and in SO BEYOND THANKFUL. For those foundations and for you helping out. They thanked me for my time and as the detective walked me out to the the main door she said " maybe you'll be able to inspire other girls and let them know it's never to late to report it" and in that moment I felt so inspired... now I feel SO passionate about being a mental health advocate, I have my AA degree so I'll be going back to college and get my psychology degree. I'm gonna kick ass. P.s.s I'm sorry if this post triggered anyone with anything I talked about but I really wanted to let taylor know how I relate to her music P.s.s Taylor i am SO sorry for what you had to go through being sexually assaulted, it really does turn a light off on your personality and I wish I could just take all your pain away, you have been there for me through EVERYTHING and I just want to be there for you and hold your hands through every step . @taylorswift