#I've got an appointment in two months I can wait that long

[running-in-the-dark]

also my ear(drum) is still fucked up and actually it's worse than yesterday. so that's also just so awesome

[foone]

I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"

But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.

Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!

I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.

Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.

Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)

And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.

You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.

So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?

My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.

(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)

[chaosandmarigolds]

okay it has been the longest time since I've asked for a request but I freaking LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE!! So I have a Simon riley request. You can really run off with my idea and write it however you want but Ive had an idea in my head about Simon and the reader adopting because reader or Simon can't have kids and I want to know how he'd handle a kid who's probably been thru some stuff to end up in the foster/adopting system.

ANYWAYS ILYSM keep up your amazing work 😍😍

(no cause I actually screamed omg thank you so much for your kind words they truly mean the world to me <333 )

Adoption! Simon Riley Who had zero doubt on that he wanted children with you, even though he was terrified of failing them he wanted to try

Simon Riley! Who took you to all of the doctors appointments and the testing and the trails and never once mentioned how expensive it is

Simon Riley who was probably the only person a bit more crushed than you when the doctor told you both that it wouldn't be possible to have children of your own.

Simon Riley who let the matter go under the radar for a few months before you walk into the bedroom, tablet to chest

"i'm gonna say something and I need you to be open to it."

He blinks a few times as he sets his book down on his lap, "Should I be scared?"

"No. But..." You hold out the tablet, showing him the adoption application you had half filled out, "I mean there's thousands of kids who-who need a family an-and-"

"Finish it up, why don't ya- lemme get the bank statements, yeah?"

Simon Riley! who would rather go back on deployment than have more people walk through his home while making judgments on if it was 'child friendly'

Simon Riley! Who sat up with you every time you were waiting for an update, watching easy going bake shows on the sofa with the laptop email service open on the coffee table in front of you

Simon Riley! Who was a little bit disgusted when the agent sat you both down with the files of children in need, because he did have half a mind to just take them all

"Now I know you both told me you were looking for a baby, and I understand that however the waitlist for that is incredibly long and ultimately it is the mother's choice in that situation," The agent's eyes go to Simon, almost as if to say 'no mother would ever choose that' and she pushes the file to you, "And I always push for the adoption of some of the older kids. There's no pressure."

Your eyes narrow to the folders in front of you and you gulp down, hands shakily going to the folder in front of you and pulling it to your lap, all the while you could tell Simon was just still a little confused by the statement the agent had made before. However, you humored it, flipping through the photos and the tragic backstories that made your eyes water, until you open one that caught your attention, two children sat in the photoinsteadd of one.

Name: Macey-Ann Adams

Age: 11 years

Name: Taylor Kate Adams

Age: 24 months

"Si..." You didn't tell that your voice was muffled by a bit of tears and you hold the file over to your husband, who looked over the pictures, taking you slight interest. So he lightly takes the file and then looks up at the agent.

"These two?" He speaks as softly as he was able to.

The agent looks at the file and then a frown appears on her face, "Macey, she...she's a troubled girl, on her fourth foster home, and she's jumping schools, I would not recommend her."

with a shuttered breath you breath out, "But...but she's just a kid- can...can we meet her and Taylor?"

Simon Riley did extensive research as soon as he got home, finding the articles from the local newspaper on the two girls who were so severely abused by their father that they wouldn't look the police officer in the eye

Simon Riley who was beginning to think it wouldn't be a good idea until they met the girls at the local park

Simon Riley who saw so much of himself in that little girl it made him almost puke

Simon Riley who got over himself when he saw your beaming face as you held Taylor, helping her get the cherry blossom from the tree

Simon Riley who would be lying if he said he wasn't estatic when you were approved for the adoption

Simon Riley who tried to get to know Macey but the girl was quiet, self suffiecnt, she was him

"You're taking Taylor." Macey mutters as she sits on the swing, watching you with her baby sister

Simon squints against the sun and sits down in the swing beside her, and then he looks to you, a smile on his lips for a moment, "Not jus' her."

To that the eleven year old looks at him, a frown on her face, "What? People want babies. Taylor is a baby."

There was a long silence and Simon looked down at his boots, "You like trampolines?"

Macey blinked, "I do."

"Gonna buy you a trampoline for the backyard when the court says it's all over."

Another pause, "You're taking both of us?"

"Figured you'd wanna stay with your lil' sis."

"I-kinda....thanks, Mister Riley."

"Simon. You can call me Simon, or...whatever you wan, and' we gotta get a move on your sister was wan'n a ice cream."

Simon Riley! Who takes careful care in helping Macey unpack

Simon Riley! Who takes the girls shopping every weekend until he thinks they have everything they need

Simon Riley! Who loves his girls more than anything else in the world

( I hope this is good and honestly this is so cute I may write a more in-depth one shot type of thing. Comments and feedback make my day! annnd yeah! that's it <33

[skele-bunny]

Thinking about Aether and Dew baby...

This follows Calida's timeline!

CW - Pregnancy, Mentions of past Traumatic Pregnancy (but this is a fluff post!)

It's been a good few years, now. Calida now a rambunctious teenager, the ministry settled down while there's no tours for a good while. It's comfortable! The topic comes up one night, Dew settled in the bed with Aether on their day off together;

"Firefly?"

"Hm?"

"Promise you won't bite me if I ask something?" An eyebrow raise but Dew promises. "How would you feel about another baby?"

"Another?" Dewdrop sits up a little, resting more on the headboard as he grimaces some. "I dunno, Aeth... Calida's was rough as is. I had her early, and all the complications, and just the mental side of it? I'm not sure... Why?"

"Just been thinking, that's all. Maybe something in the air, all the babies I've been helping deliver with the siblings. I dunno either. Just thought, maybe, it would be nice to have tiny feet running through the den again."

Dewdrop just chews his lip and nods, eventually going into silence before going to the bathroom suddenly. Closes the door and stares at himself in the mirror for a bit, so many thoughts racing. He doesn't realize how long it's been until Aether knocks to check on him, Dew opening the door and looking up, holding his breath.

"Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Let's have another. But on my conditions."

"What- Oh, okay! What's your conditions?" Aether can't help his tail wagging.

"We're gonna go talk to my therapist and double, triple, fucking quad check that this isn't just a breeding thing for you... A-and I only want you, or Phil, or- or just that really nice midwife you introduced me to at the Halloween party, Alexa... If... If I get pregnant again. No one else."

Aether just nods, taking Dewdrop's hand, leading him back to bed. "Those are all reasonable. I can call for an appointment in the morning. Sound fair?"

"Yeah... Sounds fair."

It's about two months worth of sessions, both privately and together, making sure that YES. They want this! Dew is mentally ready for this again, Aether isn't in some kink phase, etc. They even talk to Calida who's more than excited about a little sibling! Dewy gets off his testosterone and starts taking supplements, and circles his first heat for them to start trying. They keep everything quiet for a while, and even more months of failed attempts to conceive. It's about month four when Dew wakes Aether up, sitting on his lap with two positive pregnancy tests.

They're SO fucking excited but keep their expectations mellow. Dewdrop's health has much changed since Calida, plus they don't know if the egg will fully stay intact. Still, it is exciting for Aether to smell how fruity Dewdrop is. Constantly scenting him to see if there's any changes but also to cover the smell around the others. Every night Aether has his eyes full of stars and a gentle hand on Dew's stomach, whispering to Dewy what he sees, how small it is, but still so full of fluids and cells.

Two months, they agree to tell the others. It goes as they expect, excitement and extra affection, a ghoul pile that even Copia makes time to join.

"Have you started thinking about names or anything like that?" Sunny is laying her head on Dew's thigh, smiling SO wide.

"No, not just yet. Things can still change so we're waiting at least until near the end of the second trimester."

"Makes sense," Swiss chimes in. "Does Calida know?"

Aether is the one to laugh, leaning over. "That girl scared the birds away from how excited she got. She was the first to know."

Now, Dewdrop wouldn't trade Calida for the world. But he wishes he had this gentleness when he was expecting her. The kindness and a huge pack so that he doesn't have to strain and try to keep up, that he knew early, how accommodating everything's been. There's times he'll just hold his stomach and look in the mirror, so much deja vu of when he did it in hotel bathrooms while on tour. Speaking to Calida and telling her she was going to be the light of his life, and now he's doing it again. Just another piece for a puzzle he didn't know wasn't completed yet.

He's put on bed rest once more, too many high risks going on, and he starts eventually experiencing... Symptoms.

"What do you mean they're weird?"

"They're just fucking weird, Aether! Just, okay, tickle me."

He blinks. "You hate being tickled."

"I know! Just do it!"

He shrugs and does a little wiggle of his fingers before attacking Dew's sides and armpits. Listening to him squeal and laugh, grimacing and eventually - the TV turns on. Aether is staring at it while Dew catches his breath.

"See? Weird fucking shit! If I sneeze the lights turn on and off, when I get headaches my phone's battery dies, and like... It's so strange!"

Aether whistles a little, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh we're so having a quint."

"Huh?"

Aether looks him dead in the eyes, but a big goofy smile. "You're having magick surges. Little bit is reacting to you, and quintessence is a hell of a thing. Starts while still in the womb, my mother in the pit had almost the same things happening. Less technology and more of like, levitation. We're having a quint!"

Dew blinks before breaking into cries. "Woah, woah! What's wrong, my love?"

"I'm gonna look like a fucking watermelon you ass-wipe!" Hitting him softly but still crying.

Poor thing isn't even six months yet, but he looks like he's eight! Mumbling about his feet hurting, his legs more swollen than normal, cravings that are insanity to even be thought of. It's when he's in the nursery, tying ribbons on the crib when he gasps at a feeling, holding his stomach... It happens again.

He doesn't even get the full trill out before Cumulus and Mountain are RAMMING into that door.

"What's wrong?!"

But, he's smiling, beckoning them over. Takes both of their hands and puts it on his bump, shushing them every time they try to ask. There's a kick and their eyes go wide, Dew just as much. It's much softer than normal kicks, but that's to be expected from the egg sack still around them.

Then, finally, a gender reveal. Expecting a tiny little girl, Aether excited as he's always been a girl dad, adjusting some of the things in the nursery to match her.

"Teddy."

"Hm?"

Dew is playing with a tiny onesie, keeping his eyes locked on it. "What do you think of the name Starshine?"

"Starshine?"

"Yeah," his thumb going over the embroidered star on the onesie. "For our daughter."

Aether hums, thinking it over a little before he nods. "Yeah... Yeah, I like that."

He makes it to full term, after an agonizing day and a half of his water being broken and no dilation. Clutching to Aether and Mountain, Alexa between his knees to help course their daughter out. Mountain's fur is sticking up from the amount of electricity from Dew holding him, then with how hot he is. There's a bit of a power surge at the final push before the lights come back. Dewdrop sobbing as he dead weights against the two, staring at the ceiling but ears completely focused on Starshine's mad cries as she's cut from the sack.

Good god they though Mountain was furry? That poor girl is gonna need haircuts WEEKLY. Aether and Dew laughing a bit as they're holding this purple blob of fur, some soft white on her belly and in her ears. Hair blonde, just like Dewdrop's.

Mountain congratulating them and helping Alexa clean up a little while the new parents again bask in the afterglow with their new daughter :3

[marleyybluu]

Glasses

Husband!Oscar x black!wife!reader

Word count: 2k

Content warning: fluffy fluffy, Oscar is a stubborn husband, a little sexy flirtatiousness at the end, just your typical married couple and we love it, reader is hot for Oscar and his glasses (I mean I would be too tf)

A/N: bare in mind that i don’t have glasses idk how the process goes lmao I just made shit up so sorry if it’s not accurate I guess. Who cares we’re in make believe land rn

Sorry for typos && bad translations if any

(I know these aren’t glasses glasses but… you get it lmao)

"Mama..." Rafa says poking your arm, you look down at him and smile. "Yes?"

"Why is Dad making that face?" He asks pointing over to Oscar who's holding his phone down in his lap with his head tilted up slightly so that he can see the screen better. You shook your head. That old bastard was a stubborn one. You have noticed for months now that Spooky is squinting to read everything, he's holding things at certain angles just the see the words correctly. He even has the kids reading things for him when he flat-out can't make out any of the words.

And of course, you've confronted him about it, saying if he wanted you could schedule an appointment with an optometrist and get his vision checked but he tells you— "No, mamita, I'm fine."

Stubborn Jack ass.

You roll your eyes and sigh dramatically. "Mi hijo, maybe you can talk some sense into your big-headed father. Because he won't listen to me." You say loud enough for your husband to hear. He grumbles and looks over at you, so tempted to say something disrespectful but your son is there. You wiggle your eyebrows taunting him.

"Papa, I think you need gafas."(glasses)

Spooky breathes heavily like a dragon, you swear smoke comes out of his nose too. "Mira, baby, let me just take you to check your eyes. If I'm wrong I'll eat my words and do anything you want."

His ears perk up at the offer. "Anything?"

And you knew what that tone meant. Spooky had been asking for another baby sooner rather than later but you constantly rebuttal with the fact that your third child, Emilia, was only a year old and you refused to have two under two. "Yes, anything." You reply confidently knowing you'd win this battle. He says it's a deal and you smile proudly keeping a reminder to make his appointment later.

-- --

In the days leading up to the appointment, he swore up and down that you'd be wrong, that you'll soon be walking around with a round belly all over again and he couldn't wait to see it. You remain quiet and shrug, occasionally giggling at how cocky he was about this.

After dropping the kids off at your mom's, you two head over to the Optometrist. You're pleasantly greeted by the woman at the front desk who asks you who the appointment is for. Oscar finds himself a seat and huffs like a child. You roll your eyes and mention his name. "I'm assuming you made the appointment." She smiles light-heartedly. "That obvious?"

"Trust me, I've got one at home whose chain I have to pull to even get him to the doctor. They're all like that."

You giggle and look over your shoulder at him as he pouts and looks at his new shoes. The receptionist says she'll let the doctor know you two were there and be back to guide you to a room. You take a seat next to Oscar who immediately puts his hand on your thigh, squeezing at your supple flesh. "So, what do you think the next baby will be? I hope it's a boy, I can't lie."

"Will you shut the fuck up? You are not winning this bet, Diaz."

He looks around before trailing his hand up your dress, your eyes widen when his fingers brush over your panties. "Who you talkin' to like that? Don't let this bet get you fucked up."

You swallow your attitude and shrink in the chair, he removes his hand and gently kisses your temple. Maybe he'd get another baby out of you regardless.

It wasn't long before you two were called in. Once in the room, Oscar was told to sit in the chair that was hooked up to everything while you sat in the extra chair not too far from them. He starts by asking Oscar about his medical history; and if anyone in his family has problems with their vision but he says, "Not as far as I know."

You watch as he's asked to read the chart across the room and he instinctively squints, you cover your mouth to stop your giggles.

Even with the act of squinting he ends up getting a lot of them wrong.

He's tested furthermore and, honestly, it was not looking too good. He was struggling so much that it was truly getting to him, his nails scape at the jeans over his knee caps-- taps them once in a while whenever he lets out a frustrated sigh. You were beginning to feel bad for him, wanting to whisper the letters to him so he didn't feel so... shitty.

The lights in the room turn on and the optometrist sits in his chair. "Mr. Diaz, unfortunately, I do think you'll need some prescription glasses. You are more farsighted in your right eye than you are in your left. The left eye seems to be fine for now. So, I will put in an order for a pair of lenses and when they're ready we'll give you a call to pick out the frames."

Oscar sighs, he sounds so defeated. You two thank the doctor and make your way out of the office building and back to the car. He sucks his teeth while buckling his seatbelt, he crosses his arms and waits for you to put the car in drive but you don't budge. "Why are you acting like this?"

He shrugs. "Let's just go."

"No. What are you upset about?"

"I'm old."

There was a moment of silence, took you a a minute to realize he was serious. "I'm old, mama. I can't see shit, I'm tired, I'm cranky. I'm fucking old. Next thing you know I can't play with my kids, can't play Fútbol con Rafa, dios mio." (Soccer with Rafa, my God)

He was genuinely spiralling. "Papito, I hate to break it to you but we're supposed to get old." You say to him but it (obviously) doesn't help.

"Lo sé, mi amor, pero, they still have to make it to middle school and high school, I gotta see them through college."

"Who says you won't? Mi marido, (my husband) we will be there for all of their events, for all the big changes. We will still be there when they all leave the nest to create their own, and when they come back to visit." You reassure. "I'll still be next to you in a rocking chair. We are not going anywhere, anytime soon. Entiendes? No hay prisa." (Understand? No rush)

He nods, still pouting. You lean over and plant a loving kiss on his lips. "If you ask me you will make a sexy Abuelo. Glasses and all."

"En serio?" A little bit of confidence coming back to him.

"Sí, papi chulo." You purr pulling him in for another kiss. "You know we have a lot of time before we got to get the kids." He grumbles his lips travelling down your neck. "Let's go before you get us in trouble in this parking lot."

He shrugs. "Wouldn't be the first time."

You laugh. "I know, I don't want to relive it."

-- --

Days passed and Oscar finally got the call to pick up his lenses and choose the frames, you offered to go with him but he said he wanted to surprise you. You'd been waiting all day excited to see what would walk through the door.

You sighed flipping through the selections on Prime, the house was quiet with the kids either distracted or sleeping and you were bored-- until you heard the car door slam shut and his keys jingle right outside the door. The door swings open but he doesn't enter, not yet. He calls out for you and when you answer all too eagerly he chuckles at your excitement. "You been waitin' on this all day?" He asks.

"Yes, hurry the fuck up." You rush. He appears from behind the door and stands with his arms slightly open. "Cómo me veo?" (How do I look?) He asks. Your eyes widen and your jaw slacks. They were simple black frame glasses, they weren't obnoxiously thick or oddly small, and they were good enough to fit him. You sit up on your knees and lean over the back of the couch. "You look... good. Muy guapo, papito." You slur feeling a heat spread in your lower belly. His eyebrows raise in surprise, he knows that look anywhere.

"Quierida..."

"Oscar... " You had the filthiest line ready for him to hear until a pair of footsteps descended from the steps. "Whoooooa! Elliana, Mira! Papa got glasses!" Rafa announces rushing down the stairs to get a better look and shortly another set of little feet made their way over. The two children were so interested in what was on their father's face and how different he looked. "Can you see better?" Elliana asks and he smiles giving her a sweet kiss on her head. "Sí, mi corazón. Thanks for asking."

Rafa turns to you. "Mama, doesn't Dad's glasses look cool?"

Their eyes were on you but you could feel the taunting nature of your husband's eyes. "Yeah... mhm, he looks... they look-k good." You stammer causing Oscar to smirk.

He had seemingly found an upper hand on you with these glasses and he wasn't afraid to use it over the next week. He had them on even when he didn't need them to see that look on your face— the lust, the adoration— your pupils seem to expand whenever you see him in those spectacles. He just looked fucking hot.

It was the best when he walked around in his grey sweats, alone, with no shirt. Just his tattoos and glasses to complete his look and you ate it up every time. You tug on your bottom lip as you paint the picture in your mind. But why imagine, when you can just go see. The house was quiet, all the kids were sound asleep, you shifted out of bed as carefully as you could to not wake Emilia. Once you are successful you grab the baby monitor and creep downstairs, the television is off and the whole first floor is dark-- the only form of light shines through the windows courtesy of the moon. 

"Why the fuck would you do that!?" 

Ah yes, of course, he was in his habitat. The basement. You sneak your way down to see that the ceiling light is off and he just has the ones around his monitors on, though they are bright enough for her to see where she's going. His back is turned and he's so zoned in that your presence goes unnoticed for quite some time. You cross your arms and dramatically clear your throat to let him know you're here. "Yall give me a minute, wifey is here." You can hear the collective; "Hi wifey!" "Hola señiorita!" "What's good Mrs. Spooky?" 

You smile and greet them right back before he mutes his mic. "What's up?" He spins his chair to give you his full attention. "Emilia's awake?" 

You shake your head. "No, she's still sleeping. Just came to hang out." Your eyes ogle the print in his sweats. He follows your line of sight and chuckles. "You sure?"

"Mhm." You swing your leg over his legs and perch yourself on his lap. "I mention how fucking good you look in these glasses?" You purr leaning in. "They havin' an effect on you, ma. That I can see." He hums ghosting your lips with his. "And that's why you should listen to your esposa (wife)more." 

Your lips finally meet and it's not long before you two are practically nibbling at each other with a mutual desperation to end the sexual tension that's been created over time. "Let me hop off the game-" 

"No, it's okay. They can't see you right?" You smirk gnawing at his jaw. "No, they can't."

You reach between your bodies and slide your hand into his sweats. Oscar reaches up to adjust his glasses and when they begin to fog up he cleans them off and reaches to put them on his desk when you stop him. 

"The glasses stay on, Diaz." 

if you liked this fic, feel free to like this fic, reblogs and comments are appreciated. peace and love, see you in the next one🤙🏾

🏷️: @darqchilddaydreamz @educatorsareslutstoo @realhotgurlshit @bigenergy777

[berberriescorner]

“Echoes of Redemption”

Characters: Jay Halstead x Black!Reader.

Summary: After a tumultuous relationship marked by Jay Halstead's absences and affairs, you begin to rebuild your life.

Warnings: A smidge of profanity, a bit of humor, angst, anger, fluff, and a lil’ smut👀😆.

Word Count: 5,000+.

A/N: This is my first Halstead fix, but hopefully you lovelies will love it🩵.

Inspired By🩵:

Adam cradled your work bag and purse in one hand, his broad shoulders carrying the weight of your exhaustion. His free hand pressed the down button for the elevator, the soft ping of the mechanism cutting through the silence. You sighed deeply, closing your eyes for a brief moment, letting the weariness wash over you.

“Tired?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Exhausted. I could sleep for days,” you responded, the fatigue squinting your eyes. A massive yawn escaped your lips as the elevator doors slid open. You leaned against the wall for support, stifling another yawn. “Sorry,” you murmured.

“It’s all good. I hope you can get some rest once you’re home,” he said, as his voice comforted your frazzled nerves.

“Thanks, Adam. For everything. You've all been so supportive. Even if it's a bit awkward.”

The elevator dinged, and Adam gestured for you to step out first. He spotted a nearby vending machine and asked, “Did you eat today?”

Not waiting for your answer, he walked over to the whirring machine and purchased a bottle of water and a bag of smart popcorn. You sank onto a bench, grateful for the brief respite. Adam returned, popping open the snack and handing you the bag and the beverage. The two of you continued on your journey to the parking lot.

“Maybe this can give you a bit of energy.”

“Adam, you don't have to make such a fuss. You, Kim, Kevin, and Voight have already done enough. I can't believe she made a time chart so everyone can take turns escorting me to these appointments. She even has poor Dante in on it. That baby has his hands full taking care of himself. Bless his heart.”

“Are you kidding me? You're family. That’s what you do for loved ones,” he assured you, his eyes steady and sincere.

“Is this not awkward for you guys? Hailey’s your friend too,” you grudgingly admitted.

“Yes, but we knew you first. We're not going to abandon years of friendship over drama. We support her just as we do you. J—”

“Adam, please don't. The thought of him is even more stressful. Thanks for the snack. I can finish this in the car. I'm ready to get home to my comfy bed. It's been a long day.”

You caught a flicker of emotion in Adam's eyes, but he quickly masked it. Clearing his throat, he agreed, “You’re right. Let's get you home. Kim’s making me and Mak’s favorite dinner tonight,” he bragged, trying to lighten the mood.

“You bring baby girl next time. I miss her cute wittle face,” you demanded.

“Yes, ma’am.”

The walk to the exit grew quiet and tense. You glanced at Adam out of the corner of your eye.

“You good?”

“Y-yeah. Just thinking about a case,” he lied, his voice unconvincing.

As he opened the door, you started to press about the case. But your words caught in your throat at the sight of a figure standing across the parking lot. Your gaze locked onto the face, shock coursing through you. You spun around, the question about the case forgotten. "Tell me you didn't. What is he doing here?"

Adam scratched the back of his neck, looking apologetic. “Sorry, sis. The moment Hailey found out, she said he deserved to know. It was either she’d tell him, or Kevin and I. Kim was against it all. Voight was neutral.”

“I told you I would tell him on my own time!”

“When would that have been? You've been putting it off for three months now,” Adam argued.

“You don't get it. None of you know the entirety of the situation. I'm not just some home-wrecking whore. If anything, my home was the one that took the damage. You might want to remind Hailey of that, given that she's out here giving an ultimatum based on my life.”

Your gaze fixated on the once-sparkling eyes that had the power to make your heart flutter. Now, those same eyes left your heart in ruins, a painful reminder of what was lost.

“Why are you here? Shouldn't you be somewhere across an ocean or something?”

Jay walked up slowly like he was approaching a wounded animal. He stood a few inches away from you, hands buried in his pockets, looking down. “I just want to talk,” he begged.

“Now you want to have a conversation? Why, Jay? Why are you here? You made your choice.”

“Did I make my choice?”

“Walking—sorry, running—away was a choice. Was it not?”

His eyes locked with yours as he pleaded, “I know you hate me, but please, just one conversation? I took leave as soon as I found out.”

“Are you supposed to get brownie points for that,” you snapped.

“Sweetheart—”

“You don't get to call me that,” you growled.

Adam’s hand rested on your shoulder, the turmoil between two of his dearest friends cutting deep. It reminded him of the trying times he and Kim had gone through. He held out hope that you two would find some resolve.

“You know this exchange needs to happen. Maybe you'll find clarity,” Adam said, looking you in the eyes. “I'm sure he’s come to his senses over the past couple of months. Surely he realizes he could have handled the situation better and that he was being stupid.”

"Thanks, Adam. That's incredibly helpful," Jay retorted with a sarcastic edge.

Ruzek shot him a glare. “As I was saying, this needs to happen. Do me a favor. Let him drive you home. Give him however much time you want to explain himself. Discuss the most important things. Then you can either reconcile or tell him to go to hell.”

Jay threw his hands in the air. Adam cut his eyes to him. “Being my bro doesn't give you a pass. I'm going to call you on your shit. You know that.”

“Reconcile? You must have confused me with Hailey.”

“Damn it, sis.”

“Fine,” you snarled, turning to head toward Jay's truck.

“Thanks! Love you,” Ruzek shouted as you flipped them both off.

Adam shoved your belongings into Jay’s chest. His voice dropped into a menacing, judgemental tone. “Glad to have you back, brother. Try not to leave things as messed up as you did the last time. When are you going to stop screwing her over and flipping her life upside down? You better make this right.”

“I will make it right with everyone involved.”

“No, just her. You've got to choose, and it needs to be her.”

“Who says I hadn't already tried to do that?”

“Yeah, and then you changed your mind.”

“That's not what I meant to do. You know what, Ruzek? I know I screwed up. Can we pause this lecture so I can try and rectify my mistakes?”

Adam paused for emphasis. He needed Jay to listen to the advice he was about to give, to let it sink in truly.

"You messed up, Halstead," Adam said, his voice gruff but laced with concern. "But you gotta fight for her. Show her you mean it this time." Jay clenched his jaw, the truth of Adam's words scraping at his already sore conscience.

“I hear you, brother. Truly. I’ve been stupid far too long, and it’s time I get my life in order. I just–needed to get away. To finish something I’d run from for far too long. I took that time away to figure out how to stop sabotaging the things and people I love most.

Adam nodded his head before laying into him once more, “I swear to God, Jay Halstead, if you mess this up again—if you don't manage to pull your head out of your ass—Kevin and I are going to knock you out cold.”

“It sure is good to be home,” Jay sighed, walking toward the passenger door. He unlocked it and helped you, vertically challenged as you were, into the monstrous truck.

The minute your butt hit the seat, you snatched away from him. He slid into the driver's seat, reaching across to buckle your seatbelt as he had in the past. He jumped back as you slapped his hand away.

“I’ve got it. Just drive.”

Half the drive to your apartment was filled with tense silence. Jay couldn't take it any longer. He cleared his throat, attempting to engage in conversation.

“How have you been? You look as beautiful as ever.”

Your head snapped to the side as if you had been struck. Jay kept his eyes on the road, but he could feel your piercing glare.

“Look, I'm trying not to raise my blood pressure these days. Do me a favor and keep the stupid ass questions to a minimum,” you hissed.

“Jesus, Y/N. No matter what I say, it’s going to upset you. I admit it’s well-deserved, but can't we be civil until we at least get to the house?”

“Civil? Are you trying to gaslight me right now? You don't deserve civility. How about we ride in silence? Nothing I say to you is going to be nice, Jay.”

“Silence it is.”

The sight of your driveway eased the tension in Jay's shoulders. He shut off the engine, the rumble fading into the quiet hum of the neighborhood. Stepping out of the dusty truck, his legs ached from hours on the road, but he glided to your passenger door.

"Hey there," he greeted with a hint of breathlessness in his voice. He started to reach out, but you mumbled a quick "thanks" as you slid out and brushed past him, already digging in your purse for your keys.

Jay lingered on the curb briefly, a flicker of disappointment crossing his features before the familiar puppy-dog eyes returned. You rolled your eyes playfully, the sound masking the growing unease in your stomach. "Alright, alright. I'll hear you out," you conceded, finally finding your keys. "But I swear if you—"

Your playful threat was cut short by the sudden seriousness in Jay's voice. He reached out, his fingers brushing against yours as he placed the keys inside your pants pocket. "I've got it," he murmured, his gaze dropping to the worn metal in his hand. He chewed his lip nervously a stark contrast to his usual confident demeanor.

"Why keep my spare key?" you asked, suspicion evident.

Jay hesitated, his shoulders slumping slightly. When he met your gaze again, his eyes were a storm of hidden emotions. Sadness mingled with something deeper, something you couldn't quite place. "I wasn't planning to leave," he admitted, his voice thick with regret. "Not for good, that is."

You sighed, the energy draining from your body like air from a punctured balloon. The weight of his words settled on you, heavy and unspoken. "Right," you said, your voice flat. "Just unlock the door, Jay. My feet are killing me."

As Jay unlocked the door and pushed it open, you stepped inside and felt a wave of relief wash over you. The familiar comfort of home was opposite the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling. You kicked off your shoes and trudged towards the living room, dropping onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Jay followed, lingering in the doorway as if unsure whether to stand or join you.

You looked up at him, the silence between you charged with unresolved tension. "You can sit, Jay. I won't bite your head off. I'll try not to that is."

He nodded and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, his posture rigid. "Thanks."

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the quiet settling around you like a heavy blanket. Finally, Jay broke the silence. "I know you're angry. You have every right to be. But I need you to know that I never meant for things to get this bad. Before I get into all of that. I have to ask. It’s a stupid question, and I probably already know the answer. Why didn't you respond to any of my letters? Did you read any of them?”

“No.”

“Not even the emails or texts?”

“Nope,” you responded, emphasizing the letter p.

“If you had read them. You would've known that I tried to explain myself even if they were selfish reasons. Part of you may have understood why I did what I did.”

“Well, I didn't, Jay. You left without even saying goodbye. You didn't deserve another moment of my time. Be grateful you're getting it now.” You glanced at him, your expression guarded. "Why did you come back, Jay? Really?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours. "Because I found out you're pregnant."

Emotions crashed over you all at once. "So that's it? They tell you I'm pregnant and you come running back?"

"It's not just about the baby," he insisted. "I want to be here for you, for us. I realized that running away was a mistake. I thought I was protecting you, but I was just being a coward. I want to make things right, if you'll let me."

"Make things right?" you echoed, a hint of bitterness in your voice. "You think you can just come back and fix everything with a few words? Every time we've faced an obstacle, you've chosen everything over me. Your career, your fleeting moment of weakness for Hailey, even leaving to return to the army. How do I know this time will be different?"

Memories of your tumultuous past resurfaced. You and Jay had started dating years ago, your connection was instant and intense. Things got serious quickly, but Jay's fear of commitment led him to break things off and pursue a relationship with Erin Lindsay. When Erin left for an FBI job, Jay came running back to you, realizing he'd only gotten involved with her as a means to run from commitment as always.

You took him back, and things got serious again. Only that time his career became increasingly dangerous, and your constant fear for his safety caused a rift. He chose his job over you, and the two of you broke up. That time it hadn't hurt as much. You had no right to force him to choose between a career and the woman he loved. You took it as a sign that perhaps you just needed time apart.

After some time, you started to slowly rebuild your relationship, only for Jay to start having feelings for Hailey Upton. Though you know the responsibility lay mostly in your man. You still felt a way about Hailey deciding to pursue him anyway. She knew the two of you were amid reconciliation. Even with that knowledge, she still initiated the kiss and confession of attraction that confused Jay.

You argued over his feelings for the both of you and eventually, you broke up. Jay pursued things with Hailey, and while at first, it was just hooking up, things eventually got serious. Your weakness for him led to the two of you still sleeping together, but when Hailey discovered the two of you were still involved. Suddenly she wanted a committed relationship, Jay chose her. They got married (out of Jay’s perverse sense of loyalty and obligation to the team), and you tried to move on. But Jay's jealousy and selfish attempts to sabotage your relationships made it clear he was still not over you.

He soon realized he made a mistake getting involved with Hailey. You refused to take him back until he was a single man, and after a quick divorce, Jay struggled with wanting to serve a bigger purpose. It was as if he was in the midst of an early midlife crisis. Just as you two had started to rekindle your romance and rebuild, he up and left to rejoin the army.

As you were trying to pick up the broken pieces of your heart, you discovered the pregnancy. Jay found out from your friends and returned home to explain himself, determined to make things right this time. The touch of his fingers gliding across your cheek brought you back to the present. You tilted back from his touch.

“That's what you always do, Jay,” you began, your voice trembling with suppressed emotion. “Run and leave me to deal with the fallout of broken promises and heartbreak. At every turn, you've chosen everyone, everything else, over me. Erin. Your job. Marrying Hailey! Not to mention she's not the first wife, but the second. What is it three times a charm? You’ve already knocked me up. Now all you gotta do is marry me and run. Just like you always do. Hell, you chose the military over me, Jay! So tell me, why? Why should I let you back in and risk you breaking this baby’s heart in the future? Why do you always run, Jay?”

His expression softened, his eyes filled with regret as he listened to your words. He reached out, gently cupping your face in his hands. The pads of his thumbs swiped at the tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Because I was scared, honey,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Scared of messing things up, of not being good enough for you. But I realize now that running away only made things worse, that I can’t keep hiding from my mistakes. I want to be here for you, for our child. I want to make things right, to be the man you deserve.”

Jay met your gaze, his resolve hardening. "No more running," he vowed silently. The fear of losing you forever was a terrifying prospect, but it paled in comparison to the regret of never trying at all. He had to face his demons and fight for the future he longed for.

More tears fell as you looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of sincerity. And there, amidst the pain and regret, you saw it – a glimmer of hope, a flicker of determination.

The weight of your history hung in the air as you sat together, the past intertwining with the present. Jay reached out, his hand gently covering yours. “I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’ve hurt you more than I can ever make up for. But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. I want to be a part of your life, and our child’s life, if you’ll let me.”

“I’m tired of being hurt, Jay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “But if you’re willing to try, if you’re willing to fight for us, then maybe... just maybe, we can find a way to make this work.”

Jay nodded, his grip on your face tightening ever so slightly. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes, sweetheart. I love you, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

You looked into his eyes, seeing the pang of regret. “It’s not going to be easy, Jay. We have a lot to work through. But I want to believe that you’ve changed, that you’re here for the right reasons.”

“I am,” he said firmly. “I know I’ve chosen wrong in the past, but I’m choosing you now. I’m choosing us.”

“Okay,” you said, your voice steady. “Let’s take it one step at a time.”

Jay nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “One step at a time.”

As you sat together, the first glimmers of hope began to shine through the darkness. It was a long road ahead, but with determination and love, you knew you could face whatever challenges came your way, together.

But there was something Jay had kept from you, something he had been working on while he was away. As you looked into his eyes, you saw a hint of hesitation, a flicker of uncertainty.

“There’s something else I need to tell you,” he began, his voice hesitant. “While I was deployed, I... I started talking to a therapist.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in surprise, a million questions flooding your mind. “A therapist? Did something happen while you were away? Are you okay,” you rambled as your mind raced with a thousand different scenarios.

Jay took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. “Honey. Honey, relax. I'm not hurt. I realized that I needed help and that I couldn’t keep running from my problems. I needed to confront my past, to understand why I kept making the same mistakes over and over again.”

“And did it help?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded, a sense of relief washing over him. “Yeah, it did. I learned a lot about myself, about the things that drove me to make those mistakes. And I made a promise to myself – and you – that I would come back a better man, that I would do whatever it takes to make things right. I'm going to continue my journey with therapy. After all the pain I've caused. I think it wouldn't hurt to do couples counseling. Only if that's something you're interested in pursuing.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him, a mixture of relief and gratitude flooding your heart. “I'd like that. Thank you,” you whispered, the words barely audible.

Jay reached out, gently wiping away your tears. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. I love you and I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.”

You leaned into his touch, feeling a sense of peace wash over you. The weight of the past slowly began to lift, replaced by a sense of hope for the future. It wouldn’t be easy, you knew, but with determination and love, you were ready to face whatever challenges came your way, together.

Things grew quiet as the two of you looked longingly at one another. The faintest gasp slipped and you whispered, “Jay, you can't look at me like that.”

His voice low and husky, he responded, “How am I looking at you, sweetheart? I haven't seen or held you in quite some time. Admittedly, I'm the one to blame for that, but there isn't any other way I could look at you right now.”

“Please,” you begged. “Damn it, Jay. Look at me like I disgust you. Just, anything but the way you're staring at me now.”

“You want me to look at you with disgust,” he questioned, already shaking his head no. “That's not possible, honey.”

“Listen to me, Jay Halstead. I'm very pregnant and hormonal right now. I need you to be the bigger person and say that what I'm thinking is a bad idea. You need to be strong for both of us. Go home, Jay. If you don’t, we may give in to temptation. Why did you have to wear that damn uniform?”

He gave you a megawatt smile, slightly nibbling at his lips as if he was embarrassed by your compliment.

“Why, Mr. Halstead, are you blushing,” you questioningly teased.

N-No,” he spluttered.

A brief silence was followed by laughter. Once it ceased, Jay spoke in a soft, warm voice, “To answer your question. This is home, sweetheart. It is in my heart.”

And then, in a moment of weakness, as the pregnancy hormones surged through your body and desire flared between you, you found yourselves giving in to the longing that had been simmering beneath the surface. In each other’s arms, you found solace, comfort, and a renewed sense of hope for the future.

Jay didn't want to ruin things, but if something were to happen. He'd not only need consent and for you to set things in motion. He'd been given a chance to make things right. Jay wouldn't risk it all by making you believe this was the only reason he had come to talk.

“Don’t make me regret this, Jay.”

Before he could answer, you surged onto his lap, kissing him with all the pent-up passion you could muster. You both sighed and moaned as your lips met. Pulling away briefly, you pressed yourself into him. "There's no time for foreplay," you murmured.

Jay groaned as his eyes snapped closed. He grabbed hold of your waist, anchoring you to his lap. Slowly, his eyes peeled open. They were filled with hunger and uncertainty. “Are you sure, honey? I'd understand if you wanted to wait.”

Your hand trailed up his back, sending shivers down his spine as it glided sensuously up his neck and into his hair. Your fingers tangled gently in his light brown locks, tugging playfully. Your other hand encircled his throat in a delicate caress, “That depends. How badly do you miss me riding your thick, veiny, co-.”

Jay's growl silenced you abruptly, shattering his composure.“Ever the little tempting brat. Aren't you, sweet girl?”

In a feverish rush, you tore at each other's clothes. Pushing Jay onto the sofa, you straddled him, reclaiming your dominance. You descended slowly, savoring the sensation. Your pants joined his symphony of groans as you moved your hips. Alternating between rocking and moving in a circular motion. Pleasure washed over you both, leaving Jay breathless.

“F-fuck. Baby, if you squeeze me any tighter, this won’t last long.”

Being the petty brat you are. You allowed your muscles to contract around him again. Jay couldn't help but shake his head from side to side and chuckle. His eyes found yours, turning dark as they simmered with heat. Jay’s hand collided with your soft, ample, flesh. He reveled in the half moan, half whine it pulled from your lips.

His hands pawed at your hips possessively forcing you up to his tip before quickly pulling you back down. You both cried out and you begged him to do it again. Jay repeated the motion as he freed one hand to toy and pinch at your bundle of nerves. With every pinch and circle of his fingers, you climbed higher. The closer you came to falling over the edge the more your walls gripped his flesh.

“Let go for me, sweetheart. Can you do that for me, sweet girl? Hmm? Yes, you can. Can't you, baby? Come for me, sweetheart. Soak me and this damn couch just like I know you can.”

Jay slammed you down one final time locking you into place as he circled your nub. Your face buried into his neck as violent shakes paired with sobs. You ground against his lap riding out the orgasm. Jay held you close as he left kisses against the side of your head. He talked you down from an intense orgasm. “You’re okay, honey. You're okay. You did so good for me.”

He tensed hearing sniffles muffle into the side of his neck. “Baby? Are you okay?”

“Promise you won't leave me again, Jay.”

He lifted your head, his eyes filled with reassurance. “I promise, baby. Never again. Okay?”

You nodded in agreement as he wiped your face. He stole a quick kiss before pulling you back against him to cuddle again.

“Jay,” your question muffled against his neck again.

“Yes, baby-.”

His response caught in his throat as you clamped down on him once more. Your lips trailed from the side of his neck up to his ear. You playfully bit his ear and moaned, “You didn’t get to come.”

“Keep doing that and it won't take long, sweetheart,” he groaned.

The morning sun streamed through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room as you stirred in Jay's embrace. The events of the previous night played like a dream in your mind, a mixture of vulnerability, longing, and desire. You glanced at Jay, still sleeping peacefully beside you, and couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you.

As you lay there, basking in the afterglow of your shared moment of weakness, you couldn't shake the feeling of hope that filled your heart. Despite the challenges and uncertainties that lay ahead, you knew that you and Jay would face them together, united in love and determination.

With a soft smile, you pressed a gentle kiss to Jay's lips, feeling a surge of warmth and affection between you. The kiss pulled Jay from his slumber. Blinking a few times to clear the sleep from his vision, he rubbed at your small but noticeable bump.

“Oh, I see put me back to sleep so you can nap some more,” you teased. “Fine by me, Halstead.” Jay smirked and continued rubbing in circular motions. Just as you were about to drift off to sleep, there was a loud knock on the door, causing you both to jump.

Jay chuckled, planting a kiss on your forehead before pulling away. "I'll go see who it is."

As he made his way to the door, you heard familiar voices on the other side. "Come on, man. We gotta make sure Jay's still in one piece," Adam's voice rang out.

"Yeah, and see if they've reconciled yet," Kevin chimed in.

With a grin, Jay swung open the door to reveal Adam and Kevin standing on the doorstep, wearing matching grins and teasing expressions.

"Hey there, lovebirds. Just making sure Jay survived the night," Adam quipped.

Jay rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of amusement in his expression. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the concern, guys."

Kevin nudged Adam with a smirk. "Did y’all kiss and make up, or do we need to start planning your escape route? Blink twice if you need help bro."

You couldn't help but laugh at their antics, shaking your head in mock exasperation. "We're working on it, okay? Now, if you don't mind, we were kind of in the middle of something."

Adam and Kevin exchanged a knowing look before raising their hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. We'll leave you two lovebirds to it. But just remember, we're always here if you need a referee," Adam teased, earning a playful swat from Jay. Kim told me to say she expects a full run down over lunch tomorrow. She kept saying she wanted all the tea. What does that even mean?”

Kevin shook his head in disappointment. “Come on big dog. I'll have to teach you some new lingo on the way back to the precinct. Jay? Voight said you always have a job where he's concerned. Before you decline. Hailey is joining the FBI,” he finished with a wink toward you.

As they turned to leave, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the friends who always knew how to lighten the mood, even in the most awkward situations. As you snuggled back into Jay's arms, you felt a surge of passion coursing through your veins, igniting a fire that had been smoldering between you since the moment you first met.

With a mischievous glint in his eye, Jay turned to you, his gaze filled with desire. "Well, that was unexpected," he whispered, his voice husky with longing.

You couldn't help but smile at the intensity of his gaze, feeling a rush of heat spreading through your body at the thought of being so close to him again. "Unexpected, but not unwelcome," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

As Jay leaned in to capture your lips in a searing kiss, you melted into his embrace, the passion between you igniting like wildfire. In that moment, all the doubts and uncertainties melted away, leaving only the burning desire that had brought you back together.

“I’m insatiable, sorry.”

“No need to apologize. That makes two of us, sweetheart,” he responded, brushing curls from your face. His heart warmed that he was able to hold you this way. Jay had missed the feel of your skin and moving the hair from your vision. “You might want to put your bonnet on this time. I don’t want to get in trouble for ruining your hair, love.”

“Smart man, Mr. Halstead,” you giggled, leaving feathery kisses along his jaw.

And as the passion between you intensified, you couldn't help but joke, "Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones," eliciting a laugh from both Jay and yourself, knowing that the truth was far deeper than a mere hormonal surge.

How y’all feeling about this one? I hope I did Mr. Halstead justice. Be sure to comment and reblog lovelies🩵.

Tagging a few lovelies🩵:

@darqchilddaydreamz @sunshine-flower @astoldbychae @1andonlytashae @alertyoulikeitsamber @thirtysomethinganduncensored @starrynite7114

[alexaloraetheris]

I juat remembered the day, about two months ago, when I went to renew my perscription and ended up derailed by some kind of divine influence that really, really wanted my help. 😂

So I have an appointment at 9. First thing I do is sleep in because my alarm simply did not ring. First time that happened. I cursed out the damn phone and ordered a taxi, which I had specifically hoping to avoid because of the traffic congestion.

My driver is a woman a bit older than me, and she's in a good mood so we chat. She told me she was thinking of moving to [city on the coast] because taxi drivers are paid better there, and I tell her I have family there, we comment on what it's like to drive in a city essentially built into three hills and a cliff. She mentiones she has scoliosis, and it sometimes impacts her ability to sit in a car for long periods of time. I had scoliosis as well, but I had managed to fix it with exercises almost completely so I recommended my physical therapist, and assured her it's not too late, because some of the people in my therapy group were even older than her. When she let me off she thanked me for the help.

Feeling good that, even if I had to pay out the nose for the ride, I got there in time and even managed to do a good deed. I rush in, tell the reception guy I'm here to see my doctor and settle in to wait.

Two hours later, I see people being called in but not my name. I ask why, and doctor looks at me blankly and says I'm not in the system. I have to tell the reception I've arrived so I show up on his schedule.

I'm mentally cursing out the entire hospital, but I wasn't raised by wolves. I thank the doctor, politely tell the different receptionist that the last guy probably didn't hear me when I told him my appointment, got added in and went back to wait.

Ten minutes later, a visibly nervous girl with freshly printed papers sits in the waiting room. I'm in a bit of a mood, but I'm also a firm believer in helping if I can. I paste on a smile and ask 'First time?' and she admits she just got sent here for a potential ADHD diagnosis and she had no idea what to do. Having been there and knowing exactly how hard it was to do it on your own, I gave her the number of the psychologist who made my diagnosis, assured her that the psychiatrist she was here to see is the same one I have and that he's a good guy, explained what ADHD actually was and how the meds work. She was neraly crying with relief by the time I was done, and I promised she could send me questions if she needs to.

I finally, finally go in for my appointment in a slightly better mood, only for my psychiatrist to tell me Concerta is no longer imported, I have to go on some other meds and for that I need my family doctor to sign off on a regular perscription instead of getting an Rx perscription from him.

This is the worst case scenario, because I do NOT want my mother, who thinks ADHD was invented by quack American psychologists to sell expensive meds to parents with unruly children, to know I have ADHD. So I mentally curse out the entire healthcare system, go to the family doctor and explain the situation, that my mother absolutely CANNOT know about my diagnosis. Even though the doctor was not aware of my diagnosis so far, she listens attentively, and we make sure that my mom can't check the insurance we're both under to see what meds I'm on or that if she checks my name in the pharmacy directory she can't see me either.

I thought I handled that situation rather well but I must have looked more worried than I thought, because the doctor admitted her high-school age granddaughter had been asking questions about psychologists and antidepressants and she had so far been dismissive. But if she really needs help, she might do the same thing I did and seek help on her own, and my doctor realized she ought to either change her attitude fast or be left in the dark while her granddaughter is struggling. So I told her which psychologist I went to when I was also a depressed high schooler and how it helped and what I would have wanted my family to keep in mind. She thanks me and hands me a new perscription and sends me on my way.

So by now I am starting to notice a pattern.

Now, I'm actually an atheist, and I have 'Culturally Catholic' as a flaw and a laundry list of Stuff(TM) I have had to unlearn, but sometimes I really wonder if Someone Up There looked at me that day and thought:

"Hmm, looks like I have three problems I can solve with one well-positioned dumbass. Time to ruin her day for the good of the world!"

I mean. Happy to help but I really hope ruining my day won't be necessary next time.

[catcze]

Okay BUT LIKE...

I've seen ppl bring up the idea of an arranged marriage with him.

Idk what else to say it's almost 4am where I'm at and I just got out of work but djdjidjd

Getting to know your now-husband who you originally thought was distant, but really he's just busy and he also wants to get to know you essentially, if that makes sense.

Brain tired, but I just wanted to bring that up

WAIT I LOVE THIS AHSDKASJ???? There's a cut here because I was thinking too many thoughts hAJKSNDAJSK

My god okay can you just imagine,,,,, and like suspend any disbelief or misinformation regarding Fontaine's government and like hierarchy and all that technical shit for a bit because I haven't played the archon quest yet but,,,,, Okay lets think abt a situation where Wriothesley has just newly appointed as the Administrator of the Fortress of Meropide, right. You, meanwhile, come from a family that is wealthy, influential and on the upper echelons of society.

You're in line to be the heir of your family and to inherit everything that is rightfully yours when, at the last minute, some of your relatives, in an attempt to take your seat as the head of the family for their own kids, argue that you are unqualified to represent as the head of the household when you are still unmarried, and you don't have a second set of hands helping you. A bullshit reason, really, but with enough honeyed words to the rest of the family and some taunts in your direction, you're eventually given an ultimatum: get married by the end of the month or give up your inheritance.

And goddamit you can't go down without a fight. Not when you know that your cousins who are competing with you would run your family into the ground and would use the wealth for corruption and a whole lot of bad shit. Even if the romantic in you, who had one day hoped to marry someone you love and who loved you back, is quietly disappointed at having to marry just for the sake of doing so. So you talk to your friends about your worries, they talk to their friends, and eventually word even manages to reach Wriothesley in the fortress at the bottom of the ocean.

He comes to meet you and propose an idea: you both have a marriage of convenience where you make use of his title and influence to establish dominance in your household and show that you're not here to fuck around, while he makes use of your connections, quick wit, and your skills in pulling society's strings to help him achieve his own goals: to give the convicts of Meropide the tranquility to live their lives unbothered.

so you get married, you become the head of your family, and Wriothesley heads back to the fortress, just now with a simple ring on his finger and your promise that you will do whatever you can to make sure trouble doesn't come his way.

You're busy with solidifying your position as the head of the family now–– managing all the businesses and finances that are placed on your desk. Some time passes without much correspondence from Wriothesley, though. You tell the rest of your family that he's merely busy with his own duties, but on a particularly slow day, you take the time to come see him down at the Fortress of Meropide for an impromptu visit. Just because your family is growing suspicious of you two, of course. Not... not at all because you're worried about him!

So you go down there and Wriothesley is understandable surprised by your visit. So you explain the situation to him and he agrees to let you come visit every now and then.

("Just as long as I can return the favor and visit you if I'm ever in the city," he says, with the slightest of smiles that makes something warm and gooey and sweet flood your veins.

"You're always welcome in my house, husband," you say, then have to stifle a small laugh when he turns away quickly– but not quick enough that you don't catch the light blush that graces his face.)

SO yeah;;;;; Wriothesley and a reader who by all means married for convenience on both of their ends, but whose personalities mesh well together and who banter so well that after a while, when they get to know each other and make time for each other, their light flirting goes to full blown flirting, and the marriage of convenience turns into the sweet romanic marriage that you've always wanted <3

[seaseren]

Roevember Day 2: Roots

It wasn't often that time slipped away from Ameliance Leveilleur, but that day was one of those rare occasions. She had spent all day at various errands, mostly in her capacity as the keeper of House Leveilleur's coinpurse, and it came as quite a shock to her when she looked up to the sky to find that dusk had settled over the island without her notice. She started home in no great hurry- Fourchenault had already informed her he would be at the Rostra until quite late, and she quite enjoyed leisurely walks on quiet nights. She was nearly home when she saw it- a form in the grass next to the river, huddled against the far side of a building, staring up at the nascent night.

Ameliance cocked her head. Entlona was no unusual sight around Sharlayan these days- once the business with the Final Days was finished she had quickly occupied herself working with the Studium, with the Students of Baldesion, and even for Ameliance herself. That, in fact, was what was so concerning. Ameliance had come to know Entlona fairly over the past few months (at least, she thought she had!), and never once had she seen the girl so...idle.

...Well, it wasn't as if anyone was waiting for her at home. Ameliance stepped off the path home, picking her way across the uneven cliffside with grace until she was at Entlona's side. "Entlona?" she called out- then, with more force when the first call went unheeded- "Entlona!"

Entlona started, her glasses threatening to slip off her nose. Ameliance might has found the sight charmingly clumsy, except something was so clearly wrong. The look in her eyes was something- well, it was something Ameliance would expect to see on her husband's face.

"Oh, sweetheart," she said before she could stop herself. Careful not to let her dress get dirtied, she sat on the low wall Entlona was leaning against and laid a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "What's the matter? I've never seen you so...out of sorts."

It was a long moment before Entlona spoke, though she leaned very slightly into Ameliance's hand. "I...had an appointment that I was unable to keep, and I thought. While I was in the area. That I could...look at the stars. For... research purposes," she finally said.

Twelve bless the poor dear but it was obvious from the first word that she was lying and it only got worse from there. Still, Ameliance didn't want to make her uncomfortable by calling her out, so to speak. "What sort of appointment?" she asked instead. "I have quite a few contacts around Sharlayan-" quite the modest understatement!- "and I am sure I can help smooth over any misunderstandings!"

Entlona, the poor thing, actually squirmed a little, like a child facing down a tutor and explaining why their essay is mysteriously missing! There was a part of Ameliance- well, to be honest, a majority, and probably the same part that had always delighted in dressing her children in matching outfits- that was delighting in watching the normally stoic, self-confident woman so out of sorts. She would have to remember to feel guilty about that, at some point.

"It was a personal matter," Entlona mumbled- mumbled!- after a time. Ameliance knew how to deal with this sort of reticence. She simply nodded, kept her hand on Entlona's shoulder, and waited. It only took a few seconds of that before Entlona's head dropped, and she stared at the grass beneath her as she said, "...My grandparents invited me to dinner."

Oh. Ameliance had heard about the situation- among certain circles, it had been quite the topic of gossip after the excitement of the near end-of-the-world had died down. Around twenty-five years ago, the only daughter of two respected Studium professors had left to work on her thesis in Eorzea- and ended up joining a pirate crew. If that wasn't enough, she married and eventually sent word home that she was expecting, and that she wished for her parents to care for her child while she and her beloved continued to adventure across the sea. Except no child ever came, and nobody ever heard from the daughter again. They had given up all hope- but when the Scions of the Seventh Dawn had departed the Ragnarok before all of Sharlayan, they had taken one look at the tall Roegadyn being supported by two Elezen men and known instantly that she was their granddaughter. Though they had been unable to meet her then, they visited the Baldesion Annex every day until the good Students there agreed to facilitate a meeting- and there, Ameliance, supposed, they were.

It was hard to imagine Entlona Eifasaldwyn scared of anything, let alone dinner with a couple of retirees. Ameliance had to fight the urge to scoop her into a hug- she'd have to ask the twins, when able, if Entlona appreciated that sort of thing. "Is this your first time talking to them?" she asked, voice gentle. If Entlona had already had a bad experience she didn't want to push it- but Entlona shook her head.

"I...I just don't know what to say to them," she admitted, voice low. Heroically, Ameliance managed to keep her face straight. Entlona varied wildly between silent and chatterbox, veering between complete disengagement from conversation to total domination with the confidence of someone who had always just said whatever she wanted to say whenever she wanted to say it. That this was the situation she was unsure about, when her grandparents surely would be happy to hear anything, up to and including an hours' worth of speculation on Mhachi demographics or types of coral in the Rhotano Sea or Gridania's war against invasive beetles- but it took just a glance at Entlona's face to see how genuine these feelings were. Uncertainty looked so wrong on Entlona- but if there was one thing Ameliance had learned, it was that those who were the least used to the feeling needed the most support when it did visit them.

"You know..." she said, turning her gaze to the houses across the gorge as she rubbed Entlona's shoulder, "I have been meaning to get to know Professor Dennharrsyn and Professor Tofftylwyn. These might be a nice chance- if I could count on you to make an introduction?"

Entlona turned her gaze away from the ground and towards Ameliance, eyes narrowed slightly. Even Entlona, it seemed, was not socially oblivious enough to buy such a tale. Still- and with great apparent effort- she nodded. All of a sudden she stood, reminding Ameliance with a start that right, this girl towers over near everyone- but her expression was almost sheepish when she turned to Ameliance.

"Do you know their names? I forgot to write them down."

Ameliance could not stop the laugh, though thankfully Entlona didn't seem too discouraged. "Get that journal of yours out now," she said, already leading them away from the river and to the residential side of town. "It certainly won't do if you forget to write it down a second time!"

[compassionatereminders]

I am so deeply stressed out. Me and my partner had to leave a really toxic job (the last day I worked they had me in tears over a very very simple miscommunication error that I was actively correcting when my manager interrupted me to talk about how horrible I am) but we didn't have anything else lined up, so we're both out jobs, and our roommate can't work because of disabilities, but he's also not on disability yet, so we have literally no income right now

and we're applying, but every job we apply to is like. haha, wait two weeks before you get to see if you get one interview, and then if you do, wait another couple to see if you get the second round of it or the job !!! suffer and die forever !!

And even then, i've gotten like. two interviews. and our dog might need another vet visit (his tails all weird, long story but he's in a cone and we're doing what we can for it at home (vet assisted) so he's not. DYING but it's still concerning because we don't know whats gonna happen with his tail or not) which we just DONT have the money for, and my phone bill is up soon, and i need my phone going because, interviews. but i have like. a third of what i need for it. and also rent is something (thankfully it's not much, we live with the roommates parents so its like 400 a month but still)

and we're running low on food. because of course we are.

my partner has a job that seems v promising (he's done the interview and the people really liked him it seemed) but he still needs to wait a few weeks, and i'm applying to at least a couple places a day, but my options are so limited cause I just can't interact with people daily in a customer service way (like being a waiter and the like) and no one is getting back to me.

also thankfully my roommate has an appointment with his therapist (free therapy for being considered SMI, so we got that) in the next couple days to properly talk about food stamps/disability, i'm just. we couldn't stick around in that environment, it was actively making me so bad I was worried I'd need to go inpatient. But i so wish we had stuck around until we found a new job, no matter how bad my mental health was falling because it just feels like nothings getting better.

This situation sounds really horrible, scary and incredibly stressful and my heart goes out to you and your loved ones! But I really don't blame you for having to leave a job that was mistreating you and destroying your mental health. I just hope you manage to find a new source of income very soon and that you'll all be okay ❤️

[samfosho]

I hate to do this, but not asking for help is how I ended up with tens of thousands in medical debt to begin with and I'm getting desperate.

So, hi. I'm Sam. I'm a queer, autistic & ADHD living with mountains of medical debt that has accrued after working a decade at a job I believed in for just pennies, with nothing to show for it but burnout and depression. (Yes, I know there are charities that buy medical debt. I did not know about them before I took advice from An Adult That I Trusted and Thought Was Smart years ago now, who said just put it on a credit card. I have learned and suffered for that mistake)

Fortunately, I've got a good job now. Unfortunately, that doesn't solve all my problems overnight. Currently, I have about $36 to my name, which isn't even mine if you think about it (see: debt), and I don't get paid for a week. I'm working on the Big Shit, but there are two things I really need help with:

Immediate: I have a car payment coming out today for $156 that I can't cover

Less Immediate, but still looming: I NEED to have my wisdom teeth out. I've put them off for a long time, and I'm currently dealing with a lot of pain as I wait for the appointment next month. Insurance came back with them covering half, but that still leaves $1400 out of pocket.

I thought I had everything budgeted a little better this month, and all I had to worry about was the upcoming wisdom teeth appointment. I had a small car issue (tires needed replaced) and I forgot my rent went up this month and not next.

This is a huge ask, and I know we're all struggling, so I'm not asking for that full amount.

That dental appointment is the soonest I can get in, at the least expensive office that takes my insurance, so moving to a different doc isn't an option. They DO offer payment plans, however they only offer 6 months, and the full amount is too much of a monthly payment for me to make and still pay rent/make car payments/feed my cats.

If I can make that first payment on the day as big as I can, and cut the monthly payments, that would be an immense relief.

SO, my goal is $600, if at all possible, in the long run, so I don't lose everything

But my immediate, PLEASE if you can, so I don't lose my car or miss rent or get hit with overdraft fees that will just hit me even harder goal is:

$200

This would get my car payment and a little extra to get as many cheap, non perishable groceries as I can so I don't have to worry about what I'll eating the next few months.

If possible, literally anything is a huge help and amazing. If not possible, a little boost would be amazing.

If you would like to receive an actual, physical thing—like, say, a cussy piece of embroidery—you can go buy something from my Etsy store. Stock is limited, cuz I have been working enough that I haven't had time to make a lot of things or get new supplies, but I have some stupid mushroom earrings I can add to the shop, too, when I get a moment, and some stone jewelry that I made and have been meaning to sell for YEARS.

I also have a comic that I haven't updated in forever, because of the aforementioned busyness, burnout and stress. So I will draw you a little robot or something if you donate if you want

Here is a pic of my cats, they would also appreciate eating

Thanks for taking the time to read, I greatly appreciate that, too 💚

I put my links under the cut, so they're not just out there in case this post travels past my need of it

Venmo @ SamFoShoBro

cashapp $SamFoShoBro

Message for paypal. I have it, I just don't like using it.

[abrushwithdeath]

((So, long awaited life update on why I haven't really been around in the last couple months:

I've been working full time all year when I was only supposed to be doing part time- this is fine, though, because the extra money is good and my sister and I finally booked a trip for next summer that we've been trying to save money for for 8 or 9 years, so that's great! But that does mean that I have a little less time than anticipated, and as a night owl who now has to be used to being up between 5:30 and 6 in the morning to get ready for work, that adjustment hasn't been easy ^^; But it's been made even LESS easy by the fact that about a month ago we took in a tiny kitten who was crying underneath our house. We named him Remy (after the one and only Remy LeBeau <3) and I love him dearly... but kittens are also a lot of work because they get into EVERYTHING. And they're so small that they can fit in small spaces that you didn't expect. On top of that, he's had to be quarantined since we got him because he still hasn't been tested for FIV (he had an appointment for his shots and a check up at the beginning of the month and my sister was supposed to ask them to test for FIV while she was there but she didn't... so now he has to wait until I take him next Tuesday for his second round of shots and see if they can do it while he's there THIS time). Being quarantined has meant we've had to keep him in one room at all times (which is what we would have done, anyway, while he's this little- it also allows for slower meetings of the older cats which will help them possibly get along better when they're finally around one another more). We will also be getting another kitten if he tests negative for FIV because it's not good to have just one kitten under 6 months, even with older cats around (there's something called "Only Kitten Syndrome" and it can lead to a lot of behavioral issues). Anyway- because of watching him, I've been only getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night every night for a month and it's running me a bit ragged ^^; Then there's the worse stuff (tw: death, cancer, for those who want to avoid those and stop here): Early last month my grandmother passed away pretty unexpectedly after a week or two in the hospital recovering from a fall. Come to find out she'd had a stroke (and had been having a lot of mini ones that she didn't know were strokes and kept playing off as just "old age") and every time they stabilized her, she got bad again soon after. There was no funeral or anything, which somehow feels worse and has consistently given me this weird feeling of "did this really happen or not?" because I didn't even get a chance to see her in the hospital before she passed. My father also had a bunch of polyps removed from his intestines over the summer and the largest one came back testing positive for cancer. They just this week ran more tests and, thankfully, they cancer hasn't spread to his heart or lungs, but they DO need to do a pretty big surgery to remove a piece of his intestine very near to his colon which is a risky procedure because patients are more likely to bleed out when the surgery is done in that area. After the surgery, he'll be in the hospital for a few days to recover and for them to keep an eye on him, and then he'll have 6 weeks in which he can't really do anything except rest because he'll risk injuring himself and/or internal bleeding. Last week, my aunt's partner (they weren't married, but they had been together for 7 or so years) passed away and, while that didn't have a big impact on me (because I didn't know him well), it was still rough on her and some other family members, so that was also... not great.

But, yeah. It's been a rough couple of months and I'm very, very, tired. I do want to come back because I miss writing Rogue, but it's gonna be a little bit longer, especially with all the things going on with my dad. Thank you all for your patience and understanding in the mean time <3))

[harrysmimi]

CEOrry Pt. 3

Synopsis: One where things get messy but Patience is a virtue

Series Masterlist | More of my work

YN was nervous.

Very nervous to talk to Harry. He haven't got to see her because of her finals, apart from checking up on her through calls and texts. But her convocation is tomorrow and she's got a doctor's appointment for the 12th week.

She's started to show up pretty prominently now, especially to herself.

He's going to be excited, that's bound to be. He's also going to ask if he can feel the baby, though there's a doubt there's anything to feel and that inevitable that he won't ask that. YN's been feeling very uncomfortable in her body lately. Especially when she's gained a little weight. Healthy weight. But on the video call the other day her step mother was the first and very excited to point that out. That caused her father to ask her questions but nothing made him suspicious about anything.

But YN's also gotten obsessed her little baby bump. She should get used to this because she'll have to leave the little one growing in her womb. Which is not something she's really looking forward to. Her friends have been bugging her wanting to touch her belly, which she doesn't really have a problem with but she also doesn't want to be touched. Especially when she's been insecure about her body lately.

It's not the first time. But she's learnt a way to over come it and be confident in who she is and how she is.

Anyway she got into her knock off branded Adidas sweats, an old T-shirt and her dad's jerkin she stole years ago before she was on her way down stairs.

To her surprise, Harry came to pick her alone today. No Jeremy.

"Hey!" Harry beamed watching her get in the passenger seat.

"Hi." She smiled back as she buckled up her seat belt.

"How are you doing? Been long since I saw you." He pulled out of the parking spot, headed to the way of maternity clinic for her scheduled check up.

"I've been good." She shared, "morning sickness here and there, but I'm doing good."

"Why didn't you tell me, YN?" He scolded, lowkey.

"Is there anything you can do about morning sickness?"

"We would have figured something out." He looked pissed now, sort of, "or I could have called Dr. Wilson to see if there is something we can do."

"It's fine, Harry, I'll ask her about it today." She sighed in defeat.

YN have been feeling way too emotional lately. She cried last night because there was no milk for her tea at midnight. Poor Josh had to make a run to the grocery store last minute. Now she usually doesn't cry but she can't help it lately. And she felt bad for even letting her friend go out in middle of the night to get her some milk.

She sat there in silence the whole ride to the clinic, waiting for their turn. Just lost in her own thoughts.

What is she even doing?

Her dad is going to be upset with her, even though she's sure he'll come around and make peace with it. But disappoint someone who's always been so kind and loving and patient with her, her whole entire life?

It is going to be inevitable to hide from him. As her cousin is getting married just two and half months after she's due for delivery. And she has to be there because she's really close the cousin who's getting married. It js hard being around her relatives as it is, and her changed appearance is going to cause a lot of questions.

The truth is going to raise a lot of eyebrows towards her character. No one will understand why she's done what she's done. Nor does she expects anyone to. It's just that she doesn't know if she'll be able to handle all of this.

And surely her step mother is going to be using this against her. She has to tell her father before he hears it from someone else.

It was going to be just like when she started therapy at the age of thirteen. People in her family thought she was going mental. She really had to pull out of it because the bickering and gossiping was getting too much.

And it wasn't like therapy was working for her either way.

Loss of her own mother and her dad marrying again withing two years, shocked her. But she's made peace with it all now. Or has she really?

"YN?" Harry gentle touch on her shoulder brought her back to earth.

"Yes?" She gasped, "is it my turn?"

"No it's not. Not yet." Harry looked st her concerned, "YN, hey love, is everything okay?"

She realised she was crying again, "yeah, everything is fine." She assured him, laughing softly to make the vibe lighter around her. "I'm getting very emotional lately."

"That's okay." He rested his hand on her back, "you can talk to me if anything is bothering you, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded. "I just can't help it. I'm sorry!"

"Hey, come here." He cooed as he pulled her into a warm hug, "it's okay, you can cry. You sure there's nothing bothering you?"

"Mhmm." She lied.

"Okay. We have to wait ten minute, just a little heads up for you." He whispered to her. And she swore she felt a feathery kiss being placed on her hair!

"I'm going to ruin your white shirt, my mascara is not waterproof." She sniffled pulling away politely from him.

The bare minimum is gonna get her in deep trouble here!

He just nodded and sat there. Soon enough ut was her turn. Everything was fine, the baby is growing perfectly, YN's healthy too. No complications as well. Well, her tiny bump was no longer secret to Harry. He didn't say anything though.

And they got new pictures!

"Hey, are you mad?" She asked when they reached his car in the car park.

"No, I'm happy that the baby and you are healthy." He looked at her confusedly and concerned. "Let's go to my place, yeah? We can talk it over lunch. Just not here."

"Yeah."

......................................................................

His place looked slightly different.

YN's been to his house just a couple of times. Very humble looking for a millionaire. Just a four bedroom, three story house in a quiet and gated community.

She was very nervous to go to his house the first time when he asked her to meet him there for their agreement. She was also very intimidated by him the first time.

He stood almost a feet taller than her, bulky with his piercing green eyes and serious look. He is always wearing suits, which added to the intimidating vibes. YN found out he's got dimples just about few weeks ago!

Turns out he's a real softie in reality.

YN was very nervous obviously. She looked tired and shaken up. Desparate for help.

Now that he thinks behind he was too harsh on her. Like way too harsh. Interviewing her like he's going to hire her to hold all of his secrets to the grave. Part of him wanted to know all about her because the surrogacy thing doesn't allow him to read much about the personal choices she makes which may affect his future child.

Now, YN had partial idea of what she was getting herself into. She was stood in front of a giant front door to a fucking mansion. Shiny and expensive looking door handle. Two expensive looking pots with actual live plants in them on either side of the door.

She missed the huge dog by the gate which had two security guards dresses in all black who checked her stuff before she was allowed past the gates. She could see the flecks of what was the back yard from the side of his mansion.

Not realising she was stood there for more that several minutes as the door was opened even before she could get s chance to ring the door bell. There he stood, dresses in a baby blue shirt with a white sheer button down underneath it, a black Gucci belt held the pants to on his upper hips, a gold buckle on it. His shirt was partially open with a display of silver cross necklace he wore, and flecks of his chest hair. He stood about a foot or half taller than her there. Piercing green eyes and lucious eye lashes. Straight a prominent nose with lips of the softest shade of pink she has ever seen.

She shook off her thoughts knowing there is 98% chance he's married, wanting kids with his wife or husband or spouse.

"Hi, please come in." He stepped aside so she can get in.

YN clutched onto handles of her bag hung over her shoulders tightly as she walked in. She was expecting the partner to show up any time. She was more nervous for that. Harry asked her to take a seat as he walked in the kitchen asking if she would like anything to drink.

"Just water please." She shared. It didn't take him long to come back out with a glass of cold water and a mug of black coffee for himself. It was almost six in the evening and he was having a coffee.

YN was already sat, carefully on the expensive looking leather sofa clutching onto her bag for her dear life. She's never been this nervo before. Not even for her job interviews. She worked as a teacher at a pre-school for now and worked a second job on weekends and even on week days if she got time. She even saw a green and black files lying on the coffee table with a fancy looking pen.

"So you're really sure you want to do this, Ms. YLN?" He asked.

"Please, call me YN." She said nervously, "and ummm, aren't we going to wait for your partner..." She dragged out the word trying to figure out right words, "... spouse?"

"We won't have to, because I don't have one." He set his coffee mug down. "These are the agreements you can take this and read it please. And we'll work from there."

"That's it?" She was shocked. "You called me all the way here for this?" And now she's confused, because she already agreed to the online agreement she signed on the surrogacy site.

"You might wanna read that, Ms. YLN." He pointed out.

"Yeah, yes, I, I am gonna read it. Obviously." She still couldn't stop stuttering. "I thought you had me over because you wanted to ask few things, that's what your manager told me." She was very scared in that moment.

"Yes, but I figured it wouldn't be necessary." He shared.

YN opened the file to have a read at the agreement which didn't look that long. But it hit her.

"Wait, you clearly don't have a wife or a girlfriend or a partner or whatever!" She couldn't fathom what she was getting herself into, "this baby would be mine as well, unless you have an egg donor. Please tell me you have that sorted?"

"No, I don't." He admitted way too casually for her liking.

That didn't sit right with her. That baby would be hers as well then. She wouldn't want to give up her baby, and in future go on to pretend as if she doesn't have her first born somewhere in the world with her own kids she gets to keep.

Her mind was racing a hundred thoughts per minute as she read the agreement. The clauses had her feel more anxious. She has to quit her fucking job?!

He wad ready to agree on whatever amount she wanted in return!

There is no questions to be asked from the recieving party, where as she is obligated to answers every question. Especially questions related to her health and medical problems or history. It was for the safety of the child.

She can't see the baby after they're born.

"I'm sorry, I, I can't do this." She closed the file and placed it back on the table in from of her. "I can't give up my child like that. I thought you just needed someone to carry your baby for you and your partner. And, and I can't even ask questions?"  She was also on verge of crying. "I, I hope you understand."

"You'll get anything you ask for." He shrugged as if he was making a fucking business deal, "can sign you a cheque for a hundred thousand pounds now and we'll sort out the rest later."

"What? No!" She exclaimed, "you-- can I ask why you want a baby when you're clearly single?"

"You can't." He's very blunt with his answers. "No questions. Just let me know by the end of this week."

"You don't have to wait for the end of the week, I won't be doing this." She stood firm to her decision, "hope you find someone who's ready to work on your conditions, but I can't."

Harry was disappointed but he can't be really. She doesn't agree with it. He can't force her. And YN just left that day.

Just for her to call his manager back up ten days later, in desparation of agreeing but she wasn't going to quit either of her jobs. And that was final. To which he clearly agreed as he had no more patience in him.

And here they are.

His beige sofa and ottomans were switched to yellow sofa and a burgundy and blue side sofa chair thingies. A natural wood stock coffee table with a glass top was set in middle, on a Moroccan rug underneath. Apart from that everything was same.

"You got new sofa?" She asked.

"Yeah." He closed the door behind him after following her inside, "my god daughter, Ruby was over the other day and she spilt her blue paint all over me sofa. It looked like someone murdered a Smurf there." YN laughed at that.

"You want to take a seat whilst I go heat up the food?" He suggested, walking over to the dining area he pulled a chair for her.

"Yeah." She nodded. Placing her bag on the sofa she made her was to the dining area. "You can cook too?"

"No. No, no I can't." He chuckled sheepishly there, "Lizzie, my housekeeper and chef looks after this all."

"You have a personal chef?" YN couldn't believe what he said which shouldn't be surprising in the first place. He hummed to answer her. "Wow you're rich!"

"Well, I like to think that way." He shrugged.

"Some of us have to make our meals and sometimes that doesn't happen too. I'm so jealous of you!" YN groaned, "I want to be mega rich too someday."

"What do you mean that doesn't happen sometimes?" He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at her.

"What?" She looked at him nervously. She shouldn't have said that.

Her friends have been there for her recently. At least one of them is to make sure she's had all her meals. Even if that meant cooking for her (she's getting spoilt). YN haven't had to skip a meal because of anything since she found out she's pregnant. But before she could explain all of this, he snapped.

"I told you to move in with me!" He exclaimed, "at least you can have something to eat on time for fucks sake." His voice raised. YN was taken back because she's never heard him this loud.

"Harry, I can't just move in with you." She said, "I'd end up fucking homeless, I have no family here."

"So you think I'm going to kick you out after the baby is born as if I'm some kind of heartless monster?" He scoffed in disbelief, "you think that low of me, YN?"

"I, I never said that." She choked on her breathe trying not to cry, "I'm done. I can't cry in front of you again." She barged out to the living room and grabbed her her bag ready to leave. She lost her patience because he raised his voice again.

"Run away like you always do." He yelled from the other side of the room, "you're so scared of confrontations and talking, aren't you?"

"Learnt from you." She slipped on her shoes.

"YN you step one foot out." He warned her.

"Yeah? Watch me!"

"YN, stop!" He rushed to stop her from leaving, he grabbed onto her hand taking in a deep breath to calm himself down. "Hey, look I'm sorry. I, I shouldn't have raised my voice at you. Let's talk okay?"

"I am not scared of confrontations or talking, okay?" She laid it out clear in front of him, "you jump to conclusions without even listening to the person in front of you."

"Hey I'm really sorry." He whispered, "I wouldn't-- that won't happen again."

"No, stop." She whispered slipping her hand out of his. "Don't talk to me."

"I, I won't. Just please don't leave, okay?" He suggested, "we can just sit here and talk whenever you feel alright."

He heated up the food his chef made and left in the fridge. He usually eats the same thing for dinner so there was enough for the both of them. Eating in silence was really not something he enjoys but it's a better option than to leave things unsaid.

He noticed she barely ate anything, so he ordered something she eats usually. The handful of time they've had meals together and she gets the same thing.

"I don't want you to baby sit me, Harry. I'm not going to share a word!" She warned him. "This is so stupid. It's not like I'd die after skipping one meal. I made a freaking joke!"

"I'm not baby sitting you." He shrugged simply.

"You're making me eat forcefully, you're not letting me go back home alone. That's baby sitting."

"I'm looking out for you YN because I'm your friend, if that's what you call baby sitting then fine." He picked up his empty dishes and walked back into the kitchen, he frustratingly started cleaning the counter top, "I'd rather baby sit you than you passing out on an empty stomach. You know how bad being pregnant takes a toll on your whole body?" She sat there with her head down, still playing with her food and fork.

Of course he's going to look out for his baby.

"I've seen my friends and cousins go through this YN. Whilst I might have not everything but I know." He walked back to her. "I want you to be healthy as well. I want you to know that I don't back off my friendships. I shouldn't doubt you for looking after yourself, I apologise for that."

"Hmm." She sniffled. "And I'm crying again!"

"It's okay." He assured her, "it's alright."

"I, I, I need to tell my dad." She sobbed, "he can't know from anyone else."

"You can tell him." Harry wrapped his arms around her, "it's okay."

"I don't know. He's going to be so disappointed!" Her breath shuddered as she was crying so much.

"I'm sure he's not going to, YN." Harry rubbed her back gently, "you just need to explain it to him."

"You think so?"

"Mhmm." He nodded.

"I want to go home now, please."

"Yeah, I'm gonna take you home." He placed a kiss on her head before he was off to get his keys, "come on."

......................................................................

YN contemplated till it was too late for her to video call her dad. So she cried herself to sleep.

The next thing she heard was someone calling for her name softly, feeling a warm hand running up and down on her arm.

Wait... Is she dreaming?

Realising that made her wake up gasping.

"Hey, hey, you're okay." The familiar deep and raspy voice got her back to earth. It is Harry.

"Oh my god!" She sighed. "Please open the window. Please!"

"Yeah." He got up quickly and opened her windows to let the fresh air in and just as quickly got back to sit on the edge of her bed. "I didn't mean to scare you. Kayla let me in, wanted to come in and check on you."

"The baby is fine Harry." She sighed falling back in bed, pulling up her blanket to her chin as she tried to fall back asleep.

"YN, you still think I don't care about you?" He sounded so defeated, "you matter more, YN, okay? I've come in to check on you because you seemed so upset and anxious yesterday. Please, I need you to understand I'm not doing this just because I only care about my baby. You're my friend now!"

"Right." She nodded, "I want to sleep more still please, I'm very tired."

"Don't you have a convocation to go to?"

"It's today?" She asked, "oh my god, it's today!" And she realised it herself. "What the fuck, what the fuck!" She got out of bed in panic.

"Hey, be careful." He warned her.

"Get off my bed, I need to fix it!" She scolded him.

"Let me do it." He stopped her. "You go get ready. You've got barely three hours."

"No, it's fine let me—"

"I said go get ready, YN." He grabbed onto her arms to steady her, gently. "I'm going to be your escort for tonight."

"I don't an escort."

"Trust me you will, when Kayla and Julia are busy with their dates." With that he left her room.

"Harry, I don't need an escort!"

"I know." He called from the living room, "now chop-chop darling. You're going to be a Doctor of Philosophy today."

......................................................................

YN got ready as fast as she could. She couldn't waste much time.

Being pregnant is already getting to her head, she could barely imagine how she'd be when she's much further in. She was locked into her bathroom getting ready.

Her bedroom door doesn't lock up as the previous boy who lived there had it broken, some drunk college students were hooking up in his bedroom. Josh was super mad for that giy to even throw a party whilst the other three of the roommates were gone out of town.

Least to say, YN never got it fixed nor did their landlord. He's a dick!

Just as she was about slip on her dress, she glanced at herself in the mirror. She hates looking in mirror but she saw the little bump.

Well, she's practically naked, stood in her mismatched knickers and bra. Usually she's feel sexy, without even looking at the mirror. Mirrors are just self-districting weapons.

But she felt different there. Her body was growing another life inside of her. It was part hers. She shouldn't and she couldn't help but her resting her hand on her bulging belly.

Wait... She can't let this happen again. This time it's going to be worse, she'll have to give up the baby. They will live and she won't ever get to see them again.

Taking in a long breath she quickly put on her dress and fixed her already styled hair. She's not going to let this ruin her special day. She was out of her bathroom and room immediately gathering all her stuff like when you don't think you need a basket or a trolly at the store.

"You want me to help you?" Harry rushed to gather her jacket and her bag she uses everyday. "What have you got in here?"

"I am perfectly capable of taking my own stuff." She rolled her eyes and walked to kitchen to fix herself a sandwich real quick.

"We're going to get breakfast on the way love, don't worry about it. Now come on." Harry ushered her out.

......................................................................

Least to say, Harry was happy seeing YN all bubbly and happy today. She was giggling with her friends, and he didn't quite felt like an outsider. Especially with Julia and Kayla shooting daggers at him with their eyes.

"Hello, Dr. YN YLN, nice to finally meet you. I'm Harry Styles." Harry introduced himself formally.

"Likewise, Mr. Styles." YN shook his hand but ended up in fit of giggles and went in to hug him tightly. "Oh my god, I can't believe this!"

"I know." He wrapped his own arms around hers, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you!" She squealed, "thanks for saying that!"

"Of course, darling." He pulled away to look at her beaming at him. He knew she was about to tell him something but someone called for photos. But at the end she came to him asking him to take her pictures on his iPhone.

Later he found out YN and her friends were skipping on partying lile crazy tonight, they had to go and start working their butts off for Kayla and Josh's wedding. YN being the maid of honour and Julia being the only brides maid, they both had many responsibilities.

Now Harry wanted to talk to about some things. He also wanted to ask her if she's feeling any better about this situation she's in. He could clearly see how much her father matters to her. And most importantly she still seemed mad at him this morning.

The party was getting intense and if he was being honest he missed going out to parties. Corporate parties loose all their glory after a certain period. But he was also enjoying seeing YN so happy, seeing how her friends were taking care of her despite being a bit tipsy at this point.

Well, the girls were drunk their arse off when he first found YN at one of his clubs with her friends, they wouldn't let go of her. He craved that kind of friendship!

But the place was becoming more crowded, though he didn't wanted to take YN away from the fun he kept an eye on her side. He saw YN carefully making her way towards him to where he was sat by the bar.

"Hey." He beamed at her. A glass of red wine in his hand which looks like it's untouched. That was his trick so no one asks to buy him a drink or try to flirt.

"Hey, can you please take me back to my place?" She asked, "I would stay but I'm very tired and I want to sleep."

"Let's go then, yeah?" He kept his glass on the counter and stood up buttoning his blazer, lead her to the back door.

"How do you know this way?" YN was confused.

"I just know." He shrugged. "You want to get anything before we drive to yours?"

"No, I'm good." She nodded.

Harry turned off music in his car as he saw her falling asleep there.

He had a nice day with her. But he was still not able to get out the feeling he has been feeling from yesterday. She haven't said a word about it to him, maybe she forgot?

He reached her flat way too quickly for his liking. He parked his car on the side of the road, contemplating if he should wake her up. She looks so peaceful whilst sleeping.

"Hey, YN?" He called for her softly which was enough to wake her up luckily, "we're here at your place."

"Oh, I'm sorry I fell asleep." She shook her head to wake herself up properly, "thank you for driving me back."

"Of course, darling." He smiled, "do you want me to help you with that?" But he still got out quickly and got her graduation gown, cap and her bag for her from the back seat. "Come on, I'll walk you upstairs."

"Sure." She shrugged.

Honestly, she was too tired to even walk herself up the stairs alone with that much stuff in her hands. She could use the help he was offering.

......................................................................

"YN, can I have a minute with you before I go? Please?" Harry requested as he set down YN's stuff in her room.

"Mhmm." She nodded and sat down on her bed to take off her shoes. She had swelling in her feet even this early in the pregnancy.

"I want to talk about yesterday." He crouched on the floor in front of her to help her taking off her shoes, "I didn't mean to make you upset YN, I promise. I, I, I guess I've been so bad with protecting people my relationships in my life. I, I don't, I don't want anything to happen to the little one, or you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you've become a good friend of mine. And I know food can be a bit of a sensitive subject for some, I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway like that. I didn't mean to take the joke in a wrong way."

"Why would you say it like that?" She was confused. "I mean the relationships thing, or am I still not allowed to ask you questions?"

"Let's just say I'm too scared to let people in my life." He smiled sheepishly as he looked up at her through his lashes, "even though I manage to annoy you-- unintentionally!-- I'm sorry for that."

"It's just my hormones going all haywire. I'm very patient, I promise." She smiled at him, "and I get it now, so you don't have to apologise. In fact I am sorry, I overreacted yet again, and you have to put up with my shit."

"Yes, I have to apologise, but you don't." He said with a firm tone as he set her shoes aside. "Whilst I can't know what you're going through, the least I can do is try to understand. I just hope I'm good enough of the little one."

"You'll be an amazing dad to this kid, Harry, I'm sure of that." She assured him as if she can look into future and she sees him and this kid living the happiest life imaginable.

"I'm going to hang onto that." He nodded, he can have that hope with him.

He knows, he shouldn't be doubting himself now even though he's been ready for this for years. He isn't doubting about anything, but he's just nervous, that's all it is. He has everything he could, read every parenting book under the sun, talked his friends who are parents and even his own mother; who always told him that she can never be fully ready to be a parent. No matter how many books his reads or how many TedTalks videos he'd binged.

He's heard that some people don't feel that instant connection with their new born, he's afraid of all the what ifs? which comes along with it.

"Do you want to feel your baby, Harry?" She asked.

"You, you sure you'll, you'll be comfortable with it?" He was a little surprised to say the least.

"Yes, I am." She nodded.

Harry hesitantly placed his hand on her baby bump. He gasped, even though he couldn't feel the baby yet, he'd yearned for this moment for years. It hit him that the baby wasn't moving until he realised his thumb was rubbing circles on YN's stomach.

"Can, can you feel them move?" He panicked.

"Not yet, I read that babies start moving for about sixteen to eighteen weeks." She explained, "there's nothing to worry about."

"Okay." He sighed in relief, "I can't believe this." It was pretty evident he's happy that his eyes were tearing up quite a bit, tip of his nose turned a light shade of pink.

"Well it's happening." She tried not to laugh at his adorable reaction, "I'm so happy for you, Harry, and thank you for helping me."

"Don't have to mention that, darling," he gave her squinty eyed smile to keep his tears from escaping. "Thank you for letting me... you know, feel the baby bump."

"Your welcome." YN chuckled.

"Did that come out wrong?"

"No, you're very cute that's all." She shut her eyes for a moment as realisation set in.

"You think I'm cute?" He smirked cheekily.

"I meant to say annoying." She straightened her posture, failing to make the situation less awkward for herself.

"Hmmm, sure." Harry chuckled. Dimples denting deep in his cheeks as little crinkles become more prominent at the corners of his gorgeous eyes, his bunny teeth showing. He smiled truly from within in front of her. Maybe it was the first time. "You need me to get you anything before I leave?"

"Yeah, can you get me a bottle of water from kitchen, please?" She asked sheepishly.

"Sure." He stood up from his place on the floor.

He padded his way down to the kitchen and grabbed a reusable bottle of water for her from the fridge, it had her name on it, and many other reusable bottles with her and her friends' name on it. He closed the fridge door, just as he was about to leave he saw a picture of YN stuck on the door with a rose magnet. Along with three more pictures, but this one intrigued him more.

It was a picture taken with a disposable camera, a man who looked to be YN's dad. She looked to be about twelve to thirteen years old in her school uniform and her hair tied in two braids with red ribbons, a little six year old boy who looked exactly like her sat in her lap in his own school uniform, everyone smiling wide for the picture. Her dad was wearing the same jerkin she's got with her.

He wondered where her mum was.

He made his way back to her room after all, keeping his thoughts and questions to himself to not unintentionally make her upset with his curiosity. He placed the water bottle on the night stand.

"Oh my god!" He got scared when he felt something rubbing against his leg, it was a ginger cat. "You scared me." He scolded the cat as if she's going to give a fuck about what he says.

The feline jumped up on YN's bed and curled up into a ball, paws tucked under her chest as she fell fast asleep.

"You have a cat?" He asked once he saw YN come out of her bathroom in her PJs.

"Oh no she's not mine." YN smiled, "she's Noodle by the way, Kayla's fur baby. She likes to stay with me."

"I've never seen her." He was so fascinated by the cat.

"She's a senior cat, she's likes to stay in Kayla's room. Noodle is a smart cat, she knows when I'm getting ready I'll be heading out so she's in her mother's room." YN explained. "She probably came in here noticing that I'm here. I don't go anywhere much so we became good friends."

"I never knew I had a competition!" He chuckled.

"Unlike you, she doesn't piss me off. Especially when I'm all hormonal." She scoffed jokingly, rolling her eyes.2

"Did you just rolled your eyes at me?" He looked genuinely surprised and mildly offended.

And she did it again!

"Did you eat my chocolate cake or something, took you long enough to get a bottle of water?" She asked sitting down on her bed.

"There was a chocolate cake?" He acted as if he was going to go devour it in that moment.

"Don't you dare!" She warned him earning a few laughs.

"Your picture caught my eye. On the fridge." He shared.

"Mhmm." She nodded taking a sip from her water. He took a seat next to her when she said nothing else, being careful of the cat of course!

"Do you mind me asking what are you doing tomorrow?" He asked, hesitant and mildly scared.

"I have to teach a crowd of teenagers tomorrow, like everyday." She shrugged.

"No, I meant after." He corrected himself quickly, "I should have worded that right."

"After I'll be going out with Kayla for her wedding dress shopping, and after that... I have nothing to do, why?"

"Do you maybe want to come over to mine?" He tried to be subtle, "I, I, I'll have my god daughter over as her parents will be going out. She, uhhhh, she can be handful some times."

"You baby sit too?" She was intrigued, but she's also pulling his leg.

"I'm her god father so I have some responsibilities." He shrugged, "but I could use some help."

"Hmm, sure." She nodded.

"Okay, I'll ask Lizzie to make something for you too for dinner." He tried his best to hide his excitement there. "I think I should leave now."

"I'll walk you to the door." She offered.

"You don't have to, I'll see myself out."

"I have to feed the cat and lock the door. Those bastards aren't coming home tonight, I know that." YN explained as she followed him out, almost bumped into him when he stopped dead in his tracks.

"You'll be alone all night?" He turned around.

"I'll be fine."

"YN, I can't--" he sighed, "I don't want to leave you alone this time."

"I'll be fine. I promise." She assured him.

He didn't wanted to force her but he also didn't wanted to leave her alone. After what happened that night, he doesn't want to leave her alone. It is going to bug him all night now.

He bid his byes with her for the night, before he was headed back to his place.

It was nearly two in the morning and he couldn't sleep. Even after drinking two cups of sleep tea. He almost picked up his phone to call and check in on her but soon realised she must have falled asleep. He doesn't want to disturb her.

She'll call him if she needs anything. She did last time.

......................................................................

Tag list:

@vrittivsanghavi @buckymydarlingangel @sweetwritingfanficfriend @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @sleutherclaw @melllinaa @michellekstyles @sunshinemoonsposts @marialikescherries @japanchrry @onlyangelrain @supersanelyromantic @tenaciousperfectionunknown @haarrrys @originalsoulcollector @harrysgirl-1d @lomlhstyles @im-an-overthinker @moonys-star @blackbookwhore @tenaciousperfectionunknown @stilesissaved @allthelovehes @novalunosising @sunshinemoonsposts @harryssky1

Lemme know if you want to added to the tag list

[bts-hyperfixation]

Outside of the fox

Part 15 of ? 2816 words

Y/N longs for a new life when the one she'd been living comes to an abrupt stop. Without much thought to those she is leaving behind, the little fox packs a backpack and disappears. She stumbles across the shelter and makes an interim home for herself while she works out exactly what she wants from her second chance.

Last

"So the good news is we won't require surgery to reset the break, but that cast is going to need to stay on for a couple of months." Jin says, gesturing to a barely comprehensible X-ray.

Namjoon nods, taking a close look at the break presented to you all. Jungkook cuddles in close to Jimin's uninjured side and scents him gently.

"So are we okay to go home today?" Yoongi asks. "Don't want to miss out on the holiday if we can help it."

"Yes, absolutely, I've just got a bit more paperwork to follow up on and we need to set a date for a review of the damage but then you folks are free to go back to your holiday merriment, although might I suggest no more tree climbing?" Jin answers.

"Of course Doctor, thank you so much." Namjoon shakes the man's hand. "Right, I don't think we all need to be here for discharge, a couple of us should head back in the first car."

"I'll take Hobi and Taehyung back to the house. Y/N do you want to come with us?" Yoongi suggests.

"With Jimin an arm down I think I'll need to drive won't I? If you're taking Tae?"

Taehyung had driven the second car originally, the main pack in one car, friends and associates in the other."

"Sure, that makes sense. We will meet you back at the hovel." Yoongi grabs his jacket.

He pulls the keys from the pocket and signals for the other two men to follow him out of the room. Obediently they get up and mutter 'See you soon's as they exit. Doctor Jin produces a form for Jimin to sign, which he does, shakily with his non-dominant hand.

"Okay Jimin, I want to see you in two months, is there a better day for you?" Jin asks

"No work is pretty amenable, whatever works best for you." the red panda responds, already gathering his items, eager to leave the hospital.

"Wonderful, in which case we will see you on February 23rd at 2:00 pm." Jin hands over a small appointment slip to Namjoon.

Immediately the bear hands the paper off to Jungkook, a practised manoeuvre knowing he would likely lose such a small item easily.

Each of you says your goodbyes and make your way towards the door but Jungkook lingers fidgeting back and forth on his feet.

"Is everything okay Jungkook?" Jin inquires.

The bunny chews at his lip, clearly nervous. Like he is debating whether he should say what he really wants to.

"Bun?" Namjoon prods.

"Aaaa...re you really going to spend tomorrow... alone?" Jungkook asks.

"That's my plan Jungkook, yes. But don't feel sorry for me. I'm quite used to spending time by myself for holidays." The doctor reassures him.

But the statement seems to only distress Jungkook further. He whines lowly at the thought of the doctor having to be alone. He looks between you, Namjoon, and Jimin trying to hint at the idea forming in his head, however, none of you seems to be on the same wavelength as him today. He waits to see if any of you catch up with him, to no avail. Eventually, he just leans into Namjoon's side and whispers in his ear.

The bear's mouth makes a small 'o' shape as he finally catches on. Jungkook's ears have gone bright red and he turns his face into the crook of Namjoon's shoulder in order to hide from view.

"Doctor, it would seem our youngest packmate would like to invite you to our winter solstice activities tomorrow." Namjoon explains.

"That would be lovely, but I couldn't intrude on your family's day like that."

"That's okay, we have lots of outsiders this year!" Jimin provides.

It's obvious he is trying to be encouraging, but the word outsiders hits you like ice running down your spine. Because no matter how much you like being around the family and how much they claim to like you around, 'outsiders' includes you.

"But it's so short notice, I wouldn't want to take away from what you've already prepared for yourselves." the doctor refuses politely again.

You can hear Jungkook growling a little into Namjoon's collar but it's not clear if Jin can hear it yet.

"We insist doctor, please join us." Namjoon strokes Jungkook's back to calm him.

"I suppose I could drop by if you really do insist."

Namjoon writes down your address on the back of an appointment card along with a rough time for when dinner is planned and finally, you leave the hospital. The drive back to the house is quiet. Jungkook is asleep on one side of Namjoon in the back seat, and Jimin is staring happily out of the window at the scenery from the passenger seat.

It's late when you pull into the driveway. Jungkook runs ahead back to the house as Namjoon helps Jimin to clamber out of the car. They really are so well-entwined with one another. You can tell without looking that Yoongi is waiting at the door with Jungkook wrapped in his arms carefully watching his pack to make sure they are okay.

You turn off the engine and take a deep breath feeling the tiredness in your bones. All you want is to slip into bed and pass out but if you don't get the smell of the hospital out of your hair you'll never be able to settle.

Yoongi waits for you to trail in behind the others before locking the door and checking the latch is secured. He leans over instinctively to scent you as you walk past surprising you a little, it's not something he has ever done before. If he notices you flinch a little he doesn't mention it and neither do you.

You hand the keys on the hook and traipse up the stairs into your room only to be met with a nearly nude Taehyung. Water drips from his hair as the precariously balanced towel around his hips threatens to fall when he moves.

"Sorry, I thought I might have a little more time to get dressed." He supplies.

"That's okay, I'm going for a shower anyway, I'll just grab my clothes and leave you to it."

"Dang, if I knew you were going to shower maybe I would've waited... could've saved some water." He winks

"How eco-friendly of you." You roll your eyes

"Very concerned for the environment me." He flashes you his widest smile.

You quickly grab your pj's and escape from the room that was suddenly stiflingly hot.

The water is not as warm as you would've liked but it still feels good washing the clinical smell down the drain and replacing it with soft florals.

You take your time to dry off, moisturizing correctly for maybe the first time in your life, hoping to come across a fully dressed Taehyung when you return this time.

The panda is tucked up in bed when you return, waiting for you so he can turn the lamp off. You bid each other good night and find sleep easily after the chaos of the day.

___________________

Everyone seems to sleep in the next morning Jimin being the last to emerge from his bedroom at 11 with half-brushed hair and lidded eyes. Jungkook had already told you all how difficult the redhead had found it to sleep with the pain and awkwardness of the cast. Yoongi set a full English breakfast in front of him and started fussing with the messy parts of his hair.

"Can we do presents now?" Hobi asks.

The human is as excited as a child about the prospect of starting today's festivities. He has been bouncing off the walls since nine waiting for everyone to wake up so they could start. Evidently his family never really celebrated the holiday.

"Let Jimin eat first Jagiya," Yoongi says affectionately, reaching out to cup Hobi's face.

He pouts but does as he is told, busying himself by taking hold of Yoongi's outstretched and playing with the fingers.

Jimin makes quick work of the food, looking forward to having enough food in his stomach to be able to take his next painkiller. Taehyung swipes up the plate as soon as it's empty and washes it before anyone can protest.

"Alright, who is opening presents first?" The panda asks as he flicks the water off his hands.

You move into the lounge, a tight fit for the seven of you but you make it work. Hobi squishes next to Yoongi on an armchair. Jimin and Namjoon naturally gravitate to either side of Jungkook and Taehyung sits on the floor closest to the presents. You slot yourself in across from Tae to complete the circle and then he hands out presents.

You decide it best to open all of your presents at the same time to save the embarrassment of having everyone watching each other react.

Each present was clearly well thought out and matched personalities well. Obviously, some were a little generic like Taehyung's for example, but they were thoughtful nonetheless. Jimin bought you a book you had been talking about, and Jungkook had made you a painting of his favourite spot in the backyard. Yoongi bought you a gift card to the restaurant you had both visited the other day. And Namjoon bought you a new stationary set that he said reminded him of you, something about the purple colour reminding him of your lavender scent. Hobi bought everyone a matching sweater.

Taehyung's gift surprised you. It was a bottle of your favourite perfume, and expensive bottle that you had decided you couldn't leave behind in your old life. A bottle that was getting dangerously close to empty but there was no way Tae could've known that when he bought the present. You look up to see him already looking at you.

"It's the correct one yeah? If it's not we can return it and purchase the right. It's the one you were wearing the first day we met." He says as if he hadn't just spent £100 on you.

You nod and glance down at the bottle, an inscription that you had missed is etched into the silver ring.

'To my favourite fox."

You don't notice the jealous looks around the room as the boys abandon their openings to look at the ornate bottle in your hands.

"Don't look so sour boys, you haven't opened my presents to you yet." Taehyung gestures to the boxes in front of them.

The men around the room shake off their jealousy long enough to tear the wrapping paper from each gift. Each man is met with a matching bottle a cologne that compliments each other one in the room.

"I hope I guessed right, I was going off descriptions of each of your personalities supplied by Y/N. She talks about you guys a lot you know? It feels like I've known you forever."

"Taehyung this is very sweet but it's too much." Namjoon states, getting ready to wrap the bottle back up.

"Of course it's not too much. Courting gifts should be extravagant and meaningful shouldn't they?" Taehyung says matter of factly as if everyone had missed the very obvious point.

Each established member of the pack looked at one another confused, while you just blinked owlishly at your coworker.

"Typically extravagant isn't a necessary criterion," Yoongi stated, not sure what else to say.

The jackal turned the expensive bottle in his hands, finding the engraving on his own bottle.

'To the fierce protector, I wish to put at ease.' Was inscribed around the top of the bottle.

Each bottle had its own unique phrase.

"Tae, I don't want this to sound... ungrateful... but how did you afford this as a mail room boy?" You ask, setting the bottle gently to the side.

"Wait you think I'm the mail boy?" Taehyung tilts his head confused.

"Well? yeah. The only thing I see you do at work is deliver mail and talk to people." You shrug.

"That hilarious." Taehyung laughs until tears roll down his cheeks as the rest of you wait to be let in on the joke. "Y/N don't you think I would've been fired by now if I were just the mailboy? Like I'm a terrible employee"

"So what do you do then?" Jungkook asks him, sitting on the edge of his seat.

The bunny's fingers rub across his own perfume, tracing the letters absently.

'To the bunny I want to promise the world.'

"I own the company." He states as if it's no big deal. "Well my dad does, I will soon though."

You each glance between the bottles and him and then all the eyes in the room land on you.

"How could you not know that Y/N?" Hobi asks.

You shrug hoping to move the conversation back to the point.

"Did you say these were courting gifts?" You shift attention back to Taehyung.

"The first of many." He confirms

"You realise that's insane right?" Yoongi says. "We literally met you yesterday."

"Not true, we met two days ago." Taehyung points out as if that makes it any more normal.

Typically courting doesn't begin until you've known someone for at least a few weeks, maybe been on a date or two. For Taehyung to decide to court a stranger was beyond odd. To want to court 6 people that weren't already intrinsically linked? That was insanity.

The faces around the room showed a complete range of human emotions. Jimin looked thrilled with the prospect. Namjoon and Yoongi looked concerned, and Jungkook looked a little terrified. Hobi just sat there quiet and confused, barely having been opened up to the concept of courting Yoongi and now facing the potential of another man to court if not an entire pack.

"I'm sorry have I overstepped? We can just call them friendship presents if that puts you more at ease. It's just between the notes and what Y/N says about you, it felt as though I already knew you. And I know for a fact courting Y/N will be easier if I'm also courting the other men vying for her attention."

Taehyung is a very smart man. His decisions always seem to be uncalculated and messy but they always have solid reasoning behind them. Normally it's quite interesting to watch his solution to a majority of problems he encounters. Today however just left you flustered and perplexed.

The subject is dropped when there are three sharp raps on the front door.

"We should talk about this more, maybe after the holiday," Namjoon suggests rising from his seat.

Before the bear can even move for the door, Jungkook raced past him to reveal the stunning Dr. Jin standing on the porch.

The hospital lab coat does him no justice. He is wearing a simple maroon crew neck jumper, on anyone else it might look average, but on him he looked like an idol, golden complexion and broad shoulders only accentuating the look.

"I'm so glad you should make it doctor." Namjoon shakes the man's hand as he joins Jungkook at the door.

The doctor produces a carrier of wine and gives it to Joon.

"Thank you for the gracious invite. Please call me Jin though not Doctor."

"Of course Jin. Please make yourself comfortable, we were just tidying up before dinner."

The bear gives you all a look that has you all springing from your seats to rush to clean up the wrapping paper scattered across the floor. Yoongi leaves the mess with the three of you left in the living room and turns on all of the pots ready to finish making the lunchtime feast.

__________________

Next

Masterlist

Notes:

I'm not going to apologise again for being MIA 😂. I am going to say I'm probably going to go MIA again. It is unintentional and I will always come back usually within two to four weeks. Hope everyone's having a good spring getting ready for a summer. I know I'm excited because it's only 8 more weeks of school and then I can fly to my home country (don't worry, I'm the teacher not the student)

So I've split this chapter in half because I was rambling on and I just wanted to get something out.

Also if you guys want to know the rest of inscriptions let me know and I can put them in the comments. I can't fit them in to the actual fic at the minute and they may never come up again honestly.

Like the only way I can organically think to fit the minute any point is if after this finishes I do either a breakup or a marriage one shot...

[goth-mami-writer]

A post about my life lately.

(If you fucking care ✌️🫠)

⚠️Tw: There's some mentions in this that may stir certain emotions regarding✨️pro-choice✨️mindsets (abortion) and vomiting. So if you think that's gonna upset you, don't interact pls. Thx.⚠️

Soooooooo-

I've been away. And here's why without being theatrical - I found out I was pregnant again. And....I wasn't happy.

I'm a mom to 1 already and...I knew that I couldn't do it again. It's hard, to be as frank as I can. The physical effect of pregnancy on the body is something...I despise? I had awful, TERRIBLE sickness the first time anddd fuck, it was the same this time.

Yeah, no. You can go ahead and count me out.

Well- Were you using BiRtH CoNtrOl?!, you may ask?

Yes. Abso-fuckin-lutely. I had an IUD inserted two months after I had my first kid. Cause FUCK THAT. I knew I didn't want another. My son's awesome. Being his mom is my reason for living. But pregnancy is not for me.

So- this being the decision, I fucking called the one person I goddamn trust and that's Mera. ❤️ @short-honey-badger

And bitch, did we plan a trip. We had to drive OUT OF OUR STATE TO RECEIVE THE CARE NECESSARY. (That's a topic for another day tho t-.-t )

✨️Anyways,✨️ Mera is a badass and drove me to said appointment as I'm fighting the most debilitating nausea. All I could stand to eat without vomiting was fucking popsicles and slushies. So yum at 5 am, BTW.

~But here's where shit gets wild~

I show up, ready to have this done. Get on with my life. Maybe start writing again because I know that I'll feel better. The nurses and staff were incredible and sweet. But there was one problem.....my IUD was out of place, they tell me.

Okay? I knew that, right? Obviously, that's why it didn't work and I got pregnant. Makes sense.

NONONONO. I'm laying on a table out of my home state, laughing gassed out of MY FUCKING MIND, with a lady doctor telling me in the calmest demeanor that she can that I need FUCKING ✨️EMERGENCY SURGERY✨️

LIKE. HOW DO YOU REACT...TO THAT?

So...the staff is obviously letting me recover from the procedure- THE ONE I JUST HAD. and now I'm being fed all this medical jargon basically saying that if I didn't receive surgery, this IUD was gonna tear its way into my other organs because it was already embedded in the muscle tissue of my abdomen.

Fucking AWESOME.

Luckily, all these people were contracted to the local hospital in this city and they were going to let them know I was coming over and all that good jazz, but I basically needed to get over there. Like...now. RIGHT NEOW. 💀

So then it's me and Mera just navigating parts of a city that we just DO NOT fucking know, trying to get me to said hospital where this surgery needed to take place. It wasn't far but goddamn this hospital had absolute SHIT parking. It was a monster to fucking navigate as well. Luckily, I was on some good pain meds that were keeping me kinda stable, but ooohhhh, not for long.

We get checked into the ER and yeah, I started HURTING. Not to mention also, viciously nauseous once again. But this time, because I hadn't eaten anything since 5am and I was told that it would basically be fucking ILLEGAL for me to eat again until I got off this operating table.

Fucking. AWESSOMMEE.

(I thought you said it was an emergency, why didn't they have you in OR yet??)

I HAD TO WAIT FOR THESE MFS TO GET THERE, HOLD ON.

My particular case needed staffing of crazy ass doctors to oversee this procedure. I swear to God, I met like 5 people in the four hours that I sat in the emergency room before being prepped for surgery.

I was rolled out for testing like four different times! All kinds of shit just being shot into my IV while I'm still fucked up on the first dose of morphine that's still whooping my ass in and out of consciousness as Mera is at my bedside like,

"O.o u okay?" (Bc she's an angel that stayed with me during the entirety of this fucking insanity like T-T)

FINALLY. I got into my fucking surgery. It went fine, everything is fine. But goddamn, I'm exhausted. Mera was exhausted. We'd been up for almost 24hrs at this point in the day and now I'm finally being admitted into an actual room for post-op recovery.

That next morning before my discharge, I was let know the gravity of my situation and things like that. I was reassured that nothing I did caused this IUD to move. And that meant one thing-

It was never inserted correctly in the first place.

✨️So✨️ let me be the first one to tell you- please. For the love of FUCK. Go get your IUD checked. Via fucking ultrasound.

Don't let that sassy nurse stick a speculum in your fuggin hoo-haa and tell you she can see the strings so you're good.

Guess what? EVERYONE SAW MY STRINGS TOO.

Check your IUD!!! Or you're gonna be knocked up, getting a little pregnancy✨️deletion✨️ in a strange state where a really nice lady doctor is gonna tell you that you're like weeks away from internally bleeding and need dire abdominal surgery to prevent that. And all you're gonna have is your bestfriend who you feel terrible for bc she didn't sign up for any of this bullshit. But there you are, passed out on morphine, hungry, confused, nauseous and WAITING FOR SURGEONS.

GO TO THE GYNECOLOGIST. NEOW. 💀

[your-divine-ribs]

Good Touch

Words: 4.6k

A very stressed out Van comes into your salon for a massage so you help him to relax in the best possible way… I wrote this just after the Cardiff 2022 gig got cancelled 😭 // Just pure self-indulgent smut because I fancy this man so bad I have no other excuse lol sorry 😂

Imagines Masterlist Main Masterlist

"I'm so glad we're nearly done for the day, I can't wait to get home. Thank god I've not got any more clients."

Your colleague and salon receptionist Naomi looks up as you push through the door after heading back from a much needed coffee break. A small frown creases her forehead.

"Actually Y/N, you do have another client. He was a late booker from this morning. Haven't you seen it in the diary?"

"No..." Your heart sinks as she slides the appointment book towards you across the counter, squinting at Naomi's practically indecipherable scrawl. "Mr... what? Mr McCarr? McCaw? Don't recognise the name. He's not a regular then..."

Great, you sigh to yourself. A brand new client last thing on a Friday. These days your diary is full of satisfied repeat bookers and you've got to know all of them well during your time at the salon. It's almost like you can forget you're working at times, you just switch on the relaxing music and chat to them whilst you massage away their tension knots and usually their worries too. It's often soothing even for you, but this week has been long and exhausting and the thought of making polite conversation with a total stranger for a whole session when you're ready to go home is totally draining.

Well... let's just hope he's one of the quiet ones who just wants to lie there and zone out.

"It's actually McCann... excuse my terrible writing!" Naomi laughs. "But yeah he's new. He came in grumbling about his manager ordering him to come for a session. He's had some shit go down at work or something... I don't know. He was pretty vague, mumbling like he really didn't wanna be here."

You look quickly towards the treatment room door which is thankfully shut. "He's already here?"

"Uh-huh," Naomi nods, scrunching up her face. "He looks like shit... really stressed out... like maybe he's not slept for a month." She grins mischievously. "Shame really as I reckon he'd be proper fit normally!"

"Naomi!" You exclaim in a hushed whisper, stepping over in alarm. "For Christ's sake keep your voice down!"

Naomi just shrugs, unfazed, tapping her manicured fingernails on the counter. "He won't hear, the door's shut. Chill out! Anyway, enjoy... he's booked in for a full body massage!"

Her eyebrows shoot up suggestively at the final few words, but you don't partake in her smutty behaviour. You've always prided yourself on your professionalism. You'll just go in and do your job... work your magic... in forty-five minutes you'll have another satisfied customer.

You take a deep breath and open the door...

You should have realised. You should have put two and two together, but why would you? Okay... McCann isn't exactly a common name, but the thought of having a real-life, living, breathing, famous rockstar casually dropping into your salon is the last thing you'd expect on a Friday afternoon.

But sure enough there he is, larger than life and a hundred times more handsome than his videos on YouTube, perched on the edge of the treatment bed wearing nothing but a pair of tight-fitting black boxers. Very tight-fitting actually, you note, quickly wrenching your eyes upwards to meet his sparkling blue gaze and his awkward looking slightly crooked smile.

"Alright love?" He greets you in that familiar tone that you've grown to love by watching every interview of his that you've scoured the internet for.

You're flustered even though you tell yourself that you shouldn't be. In your line of work you deal with clients in various states of undress all day, every day. It's just that they're not normally Van McCann, singer of your favourite band. The very same band who've just brutally broken your heart and put a serious dint in your finances by pulling out of a stadium gig you'd been set to attend only weeks away. You'd been devastated and frustrated, not to mention fuming about the band's lack of communication with their loyal and dedicated fanbase, but all of a sudden those feelings of resentment take a backseat to your utter shock at having this most elusive of your idols sitting there before you, eyes glowing with a subtle kind of amusement at your stunned expression.

"Oh... errr sorry... wasn't I supposed to get my kit off yet?"

"Yes... yes... of course!" You blurt, checking yourself when you realise you sound overly eager, making out you're clearing your throat so you can take a moment to compose yourself, forcing your inner fangirl back into hiding. "I mean, sure. I can't massage you fully dressed now, can I?"

Van nods but his smile slips as you step forward to retrieve a towel off the bale on the wall, and now you're a little closer you can see what Naomi was talking about. The skin under his eyes looks dark-tinged and puffy, his skin sallow under the lighting. He sighs under his breath as he gets to his feet. "Might as well get this over and done with then."

His comment makes you bristle slightly but you recall Naomi's earlier comment and you take the chance to explore his lack of enthusiasm. "Oh, my colleague mentioned something about your manager making you come? You don't sound too thrilled about it. Most people love coming for a treatment. It's therapeutic you know."

"Yeah well... I don't need therapy," he says quickly, his voice tight and defensive. You've obviously hit a nerve. You hadn't realised that you'd stepped back, recoiling, but Van notices. He looks immediately embarrassed, offering an apologetic smile, pushing a hand through his hair as he talks.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to snap... it's just... errr... it's just I've really been going through it at the moment. Things have been... difficult... really difficult." His eyes dart around the room before they meet yours again. "You could say pretty much everything I touch is falling apart these days."

You're full of intrigue, literally bursting with curiosity to find out the reason behind the band's demise, but he's made no reference to show that he  knows that you're aware of who he is. In fact you think he probably suspects you don't and he's relieved about that. Despite your desperation to find out the band's fate you really can't probe him. You don't want to scare him off, but you also don't want to treat an unwilling client. It just doesn't feel right.

"Look... I'm really sorry to hear that, but I probably shouldn't treat you if you don't want to be here..."

Van cuts you off, looking contrite. "It's not that I don't want to be here, really. Please don't take offence. It's just that I don't know how a bloody massage is supposed to miraculously cure all of my problems, that's all."

He chuckles and rolls his eyes, and you smile back, holding out the towel to him which he accepts.

"I'm sure it won't... but it will relax you, I can promise you that. You can just lie back and close your eyes and check out of real life for a little while. C'mon, why don't you just try it? You might like it. Let me take care of you for a bit."

Oh... you hadn't meant it to come out quite like that, so intimate-sounding. You feel your cheeks begin to warm as his grin widens.

"Well, if ya put it like that how can I resist? I'm sure I'll be in very capable hands! Now... how do you want me... on the bed?"

His last line's said innocently enough but there's an underlying cheekiness simmering just below that gorgeous smile that makes your belly flip. You bite back the smirk that's threatening to surface along with a very inappropriate smutty comment, trying to restore the composed and professional demeanour that you usually display with your clients.

"Yeah, just lie down right here." You look down quickly to hide your flushed cheeks, patting the soft sheet draped over the bed. "If you start off lying on your front then I can do your back, and then you can turn over." You pause, mentally bracing yourself before you say the next line, but ending up blurting it out in a tumble of rushed words. "You can... umm... take everything off if you like... you don't have to but some clients prefer it that way. It's completely up to you though. You can use the towel to cover yourself if you do."

Fuck... your cheeks are on fire now, your pulse starting to race. The room suddenly feels like a furnace as you watch Van quickly hook his fingers under the elastic waistband of his boxers without hesitation, starting to inch them down his slim hips.

"Oh... I'll step out and give you some privacy!" You exclaim, hurriedly whirling around to avert your eyes at the realisation that he means to completely strip off right there and then in front of you.

"Not a problem," comes his relaxed voice from behind you. "I'm not shy."

A giggle of pure embarrassment bubbles up inside and you bite down on your lip to stem it, trying to control your pounding heart. You need to pull yourself together and fast. In a moment you've got to turn around and deliver a relaxing and professional massage but all you can think of is getting your hands on his naked body for all the improper reasons.

"Just let me know when you're ready!" You say brightly, stepping forward to peruse the massage oils, deciding on a blend of patchouli and sandalwood. You tap the small speaker on the shelf and a wave of soft, soothing meditative music fills the small room. Scented candles are already lit to give the room a calming ambience.

"Ready... I'm all yours!" You hear him call back.

Yes... yes you are, you smile to yourself as you move over to dim the lights before finally turning around.

He's laid out on the bed on his front as instructed and for the first time you can get a good look at him uninhibited. His wiry body is lean but taut, his skin pale save for the slight flush where he's obviously caught the sun on the tops of his arms and around his neck. The tiny towel that you gave him is draped temptingly over his pert little ass and you curse yourself for not giving him an even smaller one.

"How are you feeling? Are you comfortable enough?" You ask, tipping some of the oil into the palm of your hand and warming it between your fingers, coating them in the fragrant liquid.

"Uh-huh I'm good... yeah I'm all good," he replies, shifting slightly where he lays and bringing his arms up to fold across the end of the table. He lays his head sideways against his crossed arms. You have a clear view of his face from here and you can see that his eyes are shut. "I've never had a massage before... I don't really know what to expect."

"Just relax," you tell him. "That's all you need to do. Just leave the rest to me."

You step forward until you're inches away from the table, looking down on him. You can hardly believe that this man who's dwelled in your fantasies up until this moment is lying here in front of you, naked as the day he was born, completely at your mercy. Tingles of excitement are sparking through you and again you have to take a moment to compose yourself, surreptitiously shaking out the tension from your fingers which are trembling slightly.

You start by placing your palms on either side of his spine just below his neck, trailing your hands down to his lower back, then up again, this time moving in circles, firmly smoothing his flesh as you go. He lets out a small sigh and you feel him sink down further into the bed.

"That feels nice already," he murmurs. "Think maybe I am gonna enjoy this after all."

Not as much as I'm going to enjoy it, you muse to yourself, smiling as your fingers nudge the towel aside to smooth over the top of the contours of his ass, thumbs pressing into the small of his back.

"I'm only just getting started," you say. "I can feel a lot of tension in your muscles, so I'm going to have to be thorough."

His only reply is a soft "mmmm" which sounds far more sensual to your ears than it probably should. Your mind wanders, imagining him flipping over and pulling you down on top of him, hitching up your dress whilst you straddle him and grind shamelessly against him.

You try to clear your mind, moving upwards again and using your fingers to caress the muscles across the tops of his shoulders, working out the knots of tension as you go. His skin is soft and smooth, more so than you would have imagined, and the way your oil-soaked hands glide across his flesh is arousing you beyond belief.  His body glistens in the candlelight. Maybe this was a bad idea. You can feel your professionalism ebbing away as you bring your hands down to focus on his slender waist, not making a move to replace the towel when it slips to the side, exposing his bum.

Van doesn't seem to notice or maybe he does but he just doesn't care. He has a blissed-out expression on his face, his eyes screwed shut and his lips slightly parted, a small crease adorning his brow as he lets out a sound that's halfway between a whimper and a sigh.

"You have no idea how good that feels... really. You're some kind of goddess, I'm sure of it."

His words fan the flames that are already simmering inside of you and you can feel the ache grow between your thighs as you shift your position to move down to his legs.

"Oh, I don't know about that," you reply, laughing softly. "My clients always seem to go away happy though."

"I don't doubt it.... mmmm... god that's so good... ohhh..."

There he goes again. Christ... those little moans that he's making are not helping matters. If he's this expressive just from a basic massage how would he react if you showed him your real talents? You push the thought away, reaching for more oil before you begin on his legs, wrapping your fingers around his calves as you massage your way up, spreading your hands wide as they slide up his thighs.

"F... uck," he groans, low and drawn out and you see him push his pelvis into the bed as your fingers trail dangerously close to the sensitive area between his parted thighs. Now you're certain that you're not the only one getting turned on, but it's hardly surprising, with each stroke you're pushing the boundaries of decency, edging closer and closer to forbidden territory. His arms move from their relaxed position so he can grip the edges of the bed and you smile to yourself as you feel his body stiffen.

There are strict rules of conduct for masseuses in your salon and you're breaking every single one. If your manager could see you now you'd be facing a disciplinary at the very least, or at worst you'd be fired. That doesn't stop you though, your fingers kneading teasingly at a spot that makes him visibly shiver until you feel the muscles in his thighs clench up tight under your touch.

"Are you still feeling okay?" You ask, finally moving your hands away, wiping the excess oil on the towel before you gently drape it back over his bum.

"Yeah... yeah I'm all good," he answers, but his choked up voice would suggest otherwise. Maybe you're going too far. Your salon prides itself on offering the most soothing treatments, leaving clients feeling calm and relaxed, not wound up tight like a spring, gripping the treatment bed like their lives depend on it.

"Are you sure? I know my massages can be pretty... intense."

He lets out a throaty chuckle. "Intense? That's one way to describe it! Think maybe I'm... errr... enjoying it a little too much."

You can't help the grin which stretches wide on your lips at his words which are like music to your ears, a green light to continue in your endeavours to make him feel good. You've never really considered your ability to make a person's body react to your whim a talent before, more like a gift. So what's wrong with bestowing a gift of your own on someone else every once in a while? He so obviously needs it.

"It's time to turn over now," you tell him, grasping the edge of the towel to lift it, allowing it to screen him as he moves.

"Al... already?" He stutters, uncertainty in his voice as he shifts. "I... errr... umm... okay then."

He rolls on to his side and you train your eyes on the far wall as he does to allow him his privacy, only looking back down to replace the towel when he's settled on to his back.

Oh...

All of a sudden the source of his hesitancy is abundantly clear as you see the the towel tenting slightly over his cock. You have to fight hard to suppress the self-satisfied smirk you can feel trying to surface, quickly looking away, your eyes meeting Van's in an awkward moment of understanding.

He smiles sheepishly, his cheeks tinged an adorable shade of rosy pink and you fleetingly consider acknowledging the situation you've both found yourselves in, but you decide against it, opting to just carry on instead.

You can feel his eyes on you as you turn to reach for more oil then you step to the head of the bed, looking down on him. He blinks up at you, stunning pale greeny-blue eyes framed with thick, long lashes. You're certain you're not imagining the wordless exchange that you can feel taking place, a tender kind of lustfulness that his imploring expression conveys. He wants this. You know he does.

You place your hands on either side of his neck, letting them trail down to his collar bones and then outwards across his chest before drawing them back and repeating the movements over and over. You can feel his heartbeat thundering under your fingertips at each pass, his chest rising and falling deeply.

"You okay?" You check in on him and he nods, eyes swirling with intensity.

"Uh-huh..." he breathes out, then he clears his throat. "You're pretty incredible at this, you know that?"

You smile, soaking in the praise, wondering if he thinks every client of yours gets this extra special attention that he's receiving, wondering if he cares?

"It's working then, is it?" You grin.

Van laughs and you can feel it vibrate through his chest under your palms. "Put it this way, I'm not exactly thinking about my problems right now!"

"Good... that's good... that's the aim."

You step back around to the side of the bed so you can reach further, moving your hands down over his abdomen, letting your fingers slip under the edge of the towel and trail down the V of his hips. He lets out a shaky exhale and you glance up to see his eyes fluttering shut, his mouth slightly agape. He looks divine lying there, his oiled skin shimmering in the flicker of the dim candlelight, the temptation to pull away the towel so strong that you find your fingers twitching with longing. That's just a step too far though. Teasing is one thing but giving one of your clients a sneaky hand-job is another entirely. Besides, just because he's turned on it doesn't mean he's giving you consent to relieve his tensions in such a sensual way. He'd definitely have to ask... or maybe even beg...

Fuck... you wonder what that would sound like falling from those full pink lips of his, the same lips that are currently being pulled in between his teeth to stifle a groan. You coax it from him anyway as your hands move down to grip his thighs, pushing them slightly apart as you knead at the sensitive flesh. The towel rises up even further in response and now you know you've really crossed the line. Van's gripping the edges of the bed tightly, his breathing coming heavy and ragged. His hips press upwards as if to chase your touch as your fingers wrap around the top of his thigh under the towel, the backs of them just barely grazing his balls as you move away.

"I think we'd better finish there for today," you say hurriedly, watching carefully for his reaction, pleased when his eyes flick open with a look of dismay. "That's if you've... umm... had enough?"

He pauses for a moment, his brow furrowed in a hopeful kind of eagerness. "You mean there's more... if I want it?"

"Yes," you say with no absolutely hesitance, boldly meeting his needy gaze, gauging his reaction whilst you try to formulate your next words in your head. "I mean I think we both know that there's more than one way to relax somebody... a more unconventional way to relieve that obvious tension if you like."

You try not to think of Naomi innocently sitting outside at the reception desk filing her nails whilst you're in here propositioning a client in the most sordid kind of way. Despite her earlier teasing you just know that she'd be horrified by your actions. You start to fret that maybe you've made a mistake, but then Van speaks, and your worries melt away in an instant.

"I want it... I really want it... please."

In a deft motion he tugs at the towel and it falls away on to the bed, exposing him completely. As expected he's gloriously hard, his cock just as delectable as the rest of him, thick and rigid with a flushed tip, just begging for your attention. You waste no time in wrapping your fingers hungrily around his girth, swiping your thumb over the sensitive head.

"Shit," he mutters. "I can't believe this is happening."

He hoists his body upwards, propping himself on his elbows, craning his neck to watch as you begin to caress him, taking your time, sliding your oil-slicked fingers slowly and deliberately up and down his length.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," you murmur, the shock and excitement of what you're doing hitting you as he lets out a throaty groan and you worry that Naomi might hear.

"No... don't stop," he gasps breathlessly. "Please don't ever stop. It's so good... mmm."

His eyes flick between yours and his cock, dark and heavy-lidded, strands of his hair fallen forward on to his face which is creased in pleasure. You don't think you've ever witnessed a sexier sight, the obvious enjoyment etched on his face, his hips pistoning upwards needily as he fucks himself into your hand.

You pick up your pace, gripping him firmly, flicking your wrist over the head at each stroke, loving the way he writhes under your touch. His jagged panted breaths mingling with his choked groans and the obscenely wet sounds of your slick hand moving over his length seem to bounce off the walls of the small room making everything seem more intense.

"Keep going," he groans pleadingly. "Please... just like that... ahh fuck."

You're torn between wanting to stretch this out and wanting to drive him to his peak, the sinful noises he's making travelling down to your own core, soaking your panties through. You move to cup his balls with your free hand, gently massaging them, satisfied when he grits his teeth and lets out a particularly primal sounding groan.

"I can't hold on... I'm gonna come... fuck, fuck... FU-CK..." he hisses, thrusting into your hand, his whole body spasming. You watch him, transfixed as his jaw falls slack and his eyes glaze over as the swells of his climax peak and he comes, hard, milky splatters of cum painting his belly and spilling out over your knuckles.

You tug him a few more times until you've milked every last drop out of his orgasm and he's shuddering under your touch, his head hanging forward, muttering incoherently under his breath.

You release your grip on him, reaching for the towel and perching on the side of the bed, waiting for his reaction as you clean off your fingers, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Holy fucking shit," he finally murmurs, raising his head, his blue eyes meeting yours, full of wonder and shock and an awe-like reverence that makes your breath catch in your throat. "I know I'm brand new to this whole massage thing but I'm guessing that's not how it usually goes down?"

He accepts the towel from your outstretched hand as you offer him an awkward smile, the enormity of what you've just done hitting you now. "I can promise you I've never done that before. I... I don't know what came over me... sorry."

"Sorry?" He echoes quickly, his eyes bulging in disbelief. "Please don't apologise! That was..." he pauses, shaking his head, searching for the right words. "That was probably one of the hottest experiences of my life! Really... I mean it!"

A deep scarlet flush washes over you. "I hardly think so..."

"Trust me, it was," he cuts in, his eyes bright, a kind of youthful sparkle in them that looks good on him. "My only regret is I didn't even ask you your name... you know... before..."

He stops, chucking warmly, dabbing at the sticky mess on his belly before he drapes the towel over his lap and swings his legs around so he's sitting next to you on the bed.

"It's Y/N," you say, quietly.

"Van," he offers, holding out a hand to you in a greeting gesture, laughing when you accept it. Then you're laughing too at the absurdity of the belated formalities now when you've already shared an intimate moment together.

"Note to self," he grins up at you as you break away and get to your feet. "Make sure you're on first-name terms with a girl before you accept her offer of a hand-job!"

"Oh my god!" You giggle, cheeks glowing, huge grin splitting your face in two as you raise up a hand to your face, embarrassment flooding you now.

"I... errr... suppose I'd... errr... better give you some privacy now... you know, to get dressed." You start to back away, glancing down as you start to turn, feeling awkward now the heat of the moment has dissipated and it's painfully obvious the two of you are nothing more than strangers thrown together under a happy coincidence.

"Hold up... wait... Y/N..."

Van's voice comes urgently, stopping you in your tracks. You spin around, coming to face him, looking at him expectantly, surprised to see an awkward hesitance about him. He's still naked save for the small towel he's holding which is barely covering his modesty and you battle with yourself to keep a straight face.

"On my way in I saw this little coffee shop just across the road. I don't suppose you'd like to go and grab a drink with me would ya... if ya not busy that is? I figured you probably got off work soon?"

His voice rises up hopefully and your stomach flips with excitement but you try not to let it show, keeping your inner fangirl in check who's bursting to start doing a celebration dance at this dazzling turn of events.

"Yeah," you nod, returning Van's warm grin with one of your own. "Yeah... I'd really like that."