#I've cried every day apart from Wednesday

[sunstainedpages]

WE GOT AN EP ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

[villainofmyownstory]

Blurry

Part 2

masterlist

part 1 | 1.2 | part 3

pairing: exhusband!Captain John Price x fem!Reader

summary: You visit your ex-husband, in your once shared home. The memories are painful. But only for you. Unfortunately, after that one bloody mission, John doesn't remember you. The memory of your life together, blurred in his mind.

tags: afab reader, hurt, ex lovers, ex-husband, recollection of death, loss of memory, ambiguous/open ending

2.5k words

author's note: @blackhawkfanatic @who-needs-to-sleep @rafaelacallinybbay because you asked about part 2 <3

If anyone wants to be added or removed from the taglist - let me know.

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Something inside you has broken.

It seems that for a long time, you were pieces that were temporarily glued together.

In the end, pretending was a good thing.

After all, the one who laughs the loudest internally cries the hardest. 

Since those three days, weeks have passed. And somehow you couldn't move on. Maybe you should ask about that ring on his finger that unexpectedly appeared. Or maybe you should forget, finally move on, start living your life as before and never look back.

And of course, the phone rang every day. The boys, as usual, cared about you, not just him. After all, the captain's orders were to take care of you, too.

Even if he said those words so long ago. Before.

Do you think these waters will ever be shallower? That the current of the river, will carry you away and let you swim inertly to another shore? Or will you drown in the mud and your body sink inertly to the bottom. Forgotten. Left until your flesh rots, disintegrates eaten by river creatures.

His warm hands gently hold your waist. Keeping you from falling off the chair. Even though this is November outside it's already exceptionally cold. It even snowed lightly today. However, there was no longer any sign of it now.

You try to concentrate on decorating the tree, but the presence of a man in your flat is slightly overwhelming.

You let him. You accepted it all. Feeling inside, somewhere deep under your ribs, that this is madness. But despite everything, this discomfort, the smile doesn't leave your face.

You look down at him, his hands still holding your hips. Maybe you can stay like this for a while longer. You feel safe. Wanted. Needed. Belonged to someone.

”I'll turn on the lights”

he says finally helping you off the chair. You take a few steps away to get a better view.

Your first Christmas together. Never mind that it's just the two of you. And you don't mind that it's November.

What matters is that someone finally put your broken pieces together.

He was just yours.

In a few days he had to go on a mission. For unknown amount of time.

So this year Christmas came sooner. And you glance at him as he looks at the decorated Christmas tree with pride written on his face. To turn his gaze to you with the same delight.

”Somethin' wrong?”

You don't answer, blushing slightly. No one has ever looked at you like that.

”Nothing”

you mumble embarrassed

”You look nice in that Christmas sweater” you reply and reluctantly glance back at tree.

”Do you like snowmen, dove?”

The phone rings. It rings nonstop. A familiar picture appears on the screen.

That's right, today is Wednesday.

You allow yourself not to answer.

Several times.

Finally, you slide your finger across the screen.

"Everythin’ okay?"

Kyle, as usual without greeting, gets straight to the point

"I've been waiting for an hour and you're not here. Do you want me to come get you?"

Silence.

"Or maybe I should call Simon?"

That will do.

"I'll be there in half an hour."

You sigh, slowly letting the air out, as if you've been holding it in your lungs for the last few minutes. You quickly take the keys and leave the cold apartment.

You let him hold your hand. Maybe it's weakness. Maybe longing. Or maybe selfishness.

When the therapy is over and you're sitting in his car, you see a Tupperware container in the back seat. You know very well what it means.

"Jessica thought you'd be hungry. You know how she is.  She always cooks too much, and Captain won't eat it all himself” Kyle hands you a heavy container and a spoon

"How long?"

You don't dare raise your eyes, heavy eyelids close for a moment. The world starts spinning again. You don't want to hear that she is there again. Why is she there. After all, it was your home too. Never hers.

But of whom you want to make a fool, you know very well the reason.

"Two weeks." Kyle looks through the windshield, nervously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel

"Friday will be three years from-"

"Don't."

You speak quickly and dryly. You don't want to hear it. You know perfectly well that Friday is the anniversary of the accident.

You should be the one standing in the kitchen. It should be you. There.

"Should I drive you back to your apartment? One of the guys will drive the car back later."

You don't answer, your eyelids are heavy. It's as if they've stuck together and don't want to give you even a hint of light. Any comfort of a still bright day.

Drowning. To sink into the darkness. In an abyss of pain. Rot and suffer. This is your destiny. Forgotten.

"Hey, do you want to talk? Maybe someone should stay with you for the next few days?"

Kyle looks at you, sees your gray, tired face. The dark circles under your eyes. Hair that hasn't been cared for by a stylist in years. Fallen cheeks and chapped lips. Someone else is sitting in that car. It's not you anymore.

When you finally get back to your place, you toss the food container into the trash can and, still in your coat and shoes, lie down on the couch, in the living room. You stare dully at the blank wall, hoping that maybe sleep will come now.

It was better with you before, you were already walking on that straight path. Without stumbling, colors appeared on the sides. The sun was rising more and more for you. But again, a shadow that hid somewhere behind you covered your silhouette. Leaning heavily on your shoulders.

Late in the afternoon, when night slowly replaced day, and red and pink colours dance on the walls in the room, you finally fall asleep.

And again, a nightmare comes. You wish you could wake up and stay awake, stare at the ceiling and not have to relive it all over again. Maybe insomnia was some kind of cure for you. An escape.

And here you are in this place. Another broken promise. Once again you are doing something against yourself. You're sitting in the guest room on fresh evenly laid sheets.

In his home.

But when the phone rang in the middle of the night and on the other end you heard from, none other than Ghost (not to be confused with Simon, at that moment he is speaking to you as a soldier, the Captain). So it wasn't even a request. Just a command. Since John's memory had improved considerably since your last visit, along with the doctors, Ghost decided that you would stay with him this time for longer. Due to the fact that Johnny was injured and needed time to rest. Ghost and Gaz went on missions together. This time, to your misfortune, for a few weeks. And Jessica with kids couldn't stay for longer. Everyone had their own responsibilities. So you were chosen. The last option.

When you arrived, John wasn't there yet, he was going to rehab on Thursdays. So you got a few more hours of freedom before he returned. However, something paralyzed you to leave the room. The suitcase stood next to the bed, still unpacked.

The smell in the house, despite such a long time and so many different people who came in every now and then, remained the same. Cigars and burning wood from the fireplace.

Overwhelming. Now suffocating.

And those damn beige walls. Boring, nauseating. But eventually, it had to be repainted, three years ago these four walls witnessed your darkest moments in life.

Maybe it's better to sleep downstairs in the living room.

When John returns and enters the house, everything happens as if you were a different person - a spectator sitting in the front row, watching with bated breath the scene being played out. A scene from the movie called your life.

John puts his keys down on the dresser in the hallway, walks into the living room looks at the already made-up couch and turns in your direction with surprise. And you stand still with a wooden spoon in your hand, not even blinking.

"Oh there you are darling. Are we supposed to have guests tonight?"

You answer absolutely nothing, still standing motionless at the kitchen island, dismayed to see him slowly walk towards you.

And as if nothing ever happened, he grabs you lightly, squeezing your hip, and leans down to kiss your forehead. The kiss seems to last an eternity. It's almost like he's been kissed you for the first time.

He always did that when he came back to you.

But that was then. It was never - after.

"Somethin' wrong?"

He moves away from you and smiles gently, tilting his head, waiting for an answer.

You finally gain some strength in yourself and despite the unreality of the whole situation, which seems as if your brain is playing with you and replaying a scene from the past.

You finally nod slowly, in denial.

"I'll change and help you, I'm exhausted after today's new exercises. But I'm pretty flexible considering my age."

Saying this he smiles wider.

"And how was your day, at work?"

The wooden spoon fell to the countertop with a bang. Echoing in the room.

Mumbling apologetic words, you quickly evade him. You say something about a forgotten business, about making an urgent phone call.

You don't know who to call. Your hands are shaking and wet with sweat. ''It didn't happen.'' you mumble to yourself. Someone who was in charge of your life was a fucking prankster . Every time it seemed like nothing was going to happen, a new unknown and unannounced thing popped up from around the corner. A bloody joke.

Finally deciding to call Johnny, even though he was recently injured and supposed to be resting, you had to hear someone's familiar voice. Something that confirms that you have your feet on the ground. Something that makes you reassure yourself that you're not crazy.

After two signals he picks up and when he hears your frightened voice when you tell him about the situation from a moment ago.  Johnny will be here in two hours.

It's nothing that the wound on his thigh hasn't healed yet. Because if his Captain has finally regained his memory. He would, even if he had to walk 1,000 miles barefoot. He would do it without hesitation.

Just to have him back.

So you had to face John somehow, waiting for those two hours. And that seemed to be no easy thing to do. Because you no longer knew what awaited you on the other side of the beige bedroom. Who was the man who just a few weeks ago, every time he saw you, didn't recognize you and asked the same questions.

Was this the old, kindest John, the one you fell in love with many years ago.Was it even still possible, or was what you heard a few minutes ago some kind of error in his hollow, broken memory.

And again, the same scenery. How many times will it all be the same almost so familiar, and in truth so distant and foreign.

John's already dressed in more comfortable clothes, a plain plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and comfortable old, slightly rubbed jeans.

You stand in the threshold of the kitchen nervously clutching the phone, holding it as if it were some sort of lifeline, a connection to something that will save you. Well, from what, exactly? From a man who acts as if the last years, that tragedy never happened, and your marriage continued uninterrupted. Happily.

"Why don't we eat on the terrace? It's a really nice afternoon today."

John is standing at the countertop, his back turned to you cheerfully humming tunes known only to himself.

And you, you stand praying that by some miracle Johnny will get here sooner.

Despite your fatigue after a day's work, you cheerfully bustle around the kitchen, preparing a late supper. John was supposed to come back today, even though it had only been a week. The longing for him was great. Especially since just 3 weeks ago you had written in the documents, different name. Now, you proudly looked at your finger many times a day, seeing no longer an engagement ring. But something much more important.

A gold wedding ring.

Mrs. Price.

Not only was his return a cause for celebration, there was something else.

Once dinner is ready, the table is a bit over-decorated. The room, and practically the whole house, is illuminated only by the candles that have been set up. You stand nervously in the kitchen in your hands holding a small gift bag.

The dress is rather too elegant, as well. But you want this moment to be special, unique. Unforgettable.

Finally, this long-listened-for sound is interrupted by the only oddity you hear - the beating of your own heart.

John stands in the threshold with astonishment

"Honey? What's-?"

Slowly you hear his heavy footsteps, and after a moment you see him. A tired face, this time with longer facial stubble than usual. He is still dressed in a dirty tactical uniform. You don't even want to know what he witnessed in his absence.

He walks up to you and, as usual, one hand rests on your hip gently squeezing it and a warm kiss lands on your forehead.

"Some celebration? don't tell me I forgot about some important anniversary."

John looks up at you, despite his fatigue, his eyes shining happily illuminated by the candlelight.

"No, you haven't forgotten anything. It's something else."

Speaking, you grab a colorful bag and hand it to him

"A gift? oh, that means it is some positive occasion for me. For us?"

You smile nervously waiting for him to see what's inside.

Definitely a very positive news.

Time passes slowly. It's as if someone has pressed the slow motion button on the remote control to see the details better.

John, still in a good mood, finishes preparing the meal and finally turns in your direction and looks at you

"White or red?"

You bite your lower lip, feeling a coppery aftertaste in your mouth.

"Why are you doing this, John? Why is this happening again?"

Slowly saying these words, you look at his hands, which he wipes inattentively.

"But, what's the matter? I wanted to help you with dinner, dove. And I asked what kind of wine you wanted to drink. That's all."

With each step he takes toward you, you back away until you hit the wall.

"Tomorrow you will forget everything again, I don't have the strength anymore. I shouldn't have agreed to this. Again."

John stands close, much too close.

"How could I forget my biggest sweetheart? My beautiful wife? There's no way I'll ever forget you."

You finally lift your gaze, and look into his eyes. Hoping to see the same spark he once had, long ago.

However, all you see is emptiness. A faded blue.

And the only thought in your mind is for Johnny to hurry up and rescue you from this nightmare.

[wizardsaur]

I've been struggling a lot lately. Which is fine. This is tumblr and I'm allowed to be myself on here.

I'm self diagnosed autistic, please don't come at me about this. The story's kind of funny, but I've been repeatedly peer reviewed by a over a dozen formally diagnosed autistics - in vastly different scenarios - and they all tag me within 20 minutes. Up to this point, I've managed life with whatever brain spicy... and nowadays, I feel like I have my needs met most of the time.

Which is to say, I was okay never getting diagnosis for it I live in the US and Ableism is a massive fucking problem here. I advocated, I stood with my folks. And I was proud to be a support for folks with higher needs than me.

Something is different about me, and I thought for sure I knew what it was. I figured I'd just have to work harder than all the normies for a "Normal" life. I was willing to make that work.

But now... my body doesn't stop hurting. An old friend, the first "pretty sure you're autistic" friend and I had gotten back in touch lately. I truly wanted to be friends again, because our lives kinda fell apart at the same time way back when. We didn't get a chance to really be friends, we were just sad in the same close knit circle.

So I asked her, "You have this disorder, right? This set of disorders that tend to exist together for some fucking reason..... can I give you a list of shit that's been happening lately, and you tell me if I'm crazy?"

My symptoms, as well as a million other little symptoms that put me in the: "I'm pretty sure I have hEDS and POTS, because this has been my entire life.... it's just NEVER been this bad before."

I'm starting to need mobility aids, I'm slowing down. I need to wear braces now, and I can't keep acting like that isn't the case. It's been getting bad since like, late June - and then something clicked when I tried to quit my job.

My boss is a dick and I'm an overworked overachiever. I tried to walk out quit on him, out of the blue. When we were already understaffed, I might add (and had been, for months). I got back from a road trip Sunday, and went back to work - hoping things would be better..... and it was still a shitshow. Wednesday, I decided I was leaving on my day off - Thursday.

The motherfucker got me to stay. I made a 50 year old man cry, and he got me to stay. It was desperate, and it sounded so sincere, and he promised things would change... it's been a month. His supervisor shows up next week, and her higher up too. I stayed. I believed him....

Saturday night, I'm moving slow. Everything hurts like it did on the road trip. But now it's worse, and nothing's going away like it used to. And suddenly, I remember- things aren't supposed to hurt all the time. The usual amount of pain, is no pain.

Monday at lunch... I couldn't hold a fork. I ugly cried in the break room. A customer passed me to get to the bathroom and hugged me - I don't know her name. I'm 27. I was sobbing in a stranger's hug for a minute. (Whoever you are, if you see this, thank you.)

I went to the doctor, and have been taken seriously about my hEDS & POTS concern ever since. It's only been a few weeks, and I hope I'm not jinxing it... but. Doctors and therapists have heard me, and replied: "How did you not face this sooner? That is very likely your issue. Let's direct you to the right resources."

Which is WILDLY FUCKING DIFFERENT from every single other experience I've ever read or heard from anyone else. Maybe for once, things will work the way they need to. The way they should in a perfect society. And either I'll get diagnosed as hEDS with POTS, or I won't and we can find out what the issue really is. Because I'm in chronic pain, and it fits the bill unnervingly well.

The wild thing, is my life tends to completely shift gears every yea or two- over a few weeks. In absolutely bananas story ways. I had an apocalypse vision once, lost everything a month later.

I can't help but wonder if there's some big Universal Life Test built into this experience. But I moved my altar. And I'm finishing a journal. I feel like next month will be the start of my Real Adult Life. It's hard to explain. I'm very lucky to be having a Good Side to this whole situation.

[loonamblr]

Sunsets and Secrets: Wine

LOONA Kim Lip x reader

taste like a wine

author’s note: Sorry that this story took a while to post. This is much longer than the part 1. I hope you guys will love this also. Thank you everyone for reading my works. I also want to thank my friend who helps and keeps me sane during the time I’m working this lmao. please send me feedbacks i want to know your thoughts about the story :) Stay safe everyone!!

warnings: mentions of alcohols 

Part One

It's Monday again. The exam will still begin on Wednesday of the particular week, giving the pupils two days to study.

Since you are an exchange student, your routine for this week differs from regular students. And your only schedule for the day is in the afternoon.

You just got out of your bathroom after taking a shower and planning to make some breakfast when you received a text message. The message was from your cousin, Jinsoul, informing you that she is in front of your apartment.

Ever since you were a child, you've been close with Jinsoul. Both of you are constantly in one other's homes, having a blast every day. She even cried so loud when she found out that you'll migrate. Nevertheless, your closeness was not hindered by your distance from one another.

So, seeing your cousin after a long time gives you a mixed feeling. For sure, you are delighted to see her and excited to have a bond together. But you're feeling guilty at the same time, knowing that you had fallen to Jungeun.

You already accept the fact that Jinsol might get mad once she found out about this.

It's just love. A very natural thing in the world. A thing that you cannot control to whom you will fall. You can't hold yourself responsible because, at the time, you fall for Jungeun you weren't aware that she was the girl that Jinsol likes.

You shrug.

I should forget my worries in the meantime and enjoy her visit today, you said.

A body clashed with yours after opening your door.

You smiled, remembering how clingy Jinsol was.

"What's up!?" you greeted her as you guys hugged tightly.

Patting her head while she's still holding you made you chuckle.

"I miss you so much Y/n!" Jinsol greeted you and giggled.

"I miss you too even though you came to see me last year," you replied grinning at her.

After exchanging one final, close hug, the two of you proceed to the living room to catch up on each other's most recent news.

"How was your stay here? I've heard that you visited our house?" Jinsoul starts the conversation.

"Yeah, I visited them, also our grandparents last month. To be honest, they looked like they haven't aged at all. Grandpa is still funny, he even gave me extra money to spend here." you smiled remembering your visit.

"Did he? that's unfair! he didn't give it to me when I visited them before I left Korea," she whined, "..well at least your mom gave me when I went to your house." she said after remembering it, and laughing.

You shook your head at her thinking how silly your topic was.

"Oh, I was surprised that you volunteer to be the exchange student this year, Jinsol." you shared with her.

Your statement brought Jinsol back to the reason for it.

"Uhmm, I thought...maybe for experience?" she is somewhat unsure, "...to be honest I just want to go somewhere far to think, but I can't since we have school." she continues.

Nodding along, and asked her, "To think about what?"

And there, Jinsoul opens her side to you.

"Do you remember Lippie? the one I told you before." You nod as an answer to the question.

Of course, you know her. You knew her from her stories and from Jungeun itself.

That made your thoughts back to reality. The reality between you and Jungeun that Jinsol isn't probably aware of.

You gazed at your cousin who was starting to stare somewhere biting her lip and looking like she was getting drowned in her thoughts

"Well, I questioned myself...whether I'm worthy of her love or her, in general." You can notice the sadness in her tone.

"I feel like I've been enjoying myself being with her, well she seems to enjoy herself with me too but I can't control myself to have negative thoughts."

"She's been too good for me. So perfect to be with me. Then one night, I was left questioning myself."

"Of course, I didn't tell her about it, even one single thought. She doesn't need to know. I'll just become a burden."

By her actions, you can tell that Jinsol is a little bit anxious because she's been fidgeting her fingers.

She cleared her throat and continues her story, "Then suddenly I want to be away here. I want to leave, but as I said, I can't because we are seniors. So, I think my only chance to be away is to accept the program."

You now understand why she suddenly called you to inform you that she accepted a program and will be an exchange student at your school.

"How ironic, I left to think if I am worthy for her, but by leaving her, I just prove that we don't deserve each other. I also left my friends, and I am aware that they were mad at me." she then bitterly chuckled and scratch her temple.

Jinsol laid back on your couch while you still silently observing her.

A moment of silence.

Your gaze met, then she asked, "Have you met them?"

"Uhh yeah...I met them on my first day. It's Yves whom I met first." you shared with her.

"How are they doing?"

"They've been doing well? I guess. They are very saddened by your sudden leaving, especially Jungeun." She nods at this information.

Jinsol is mentally cursing herself and regretting her actions.

"How are you and Jungeung by the way?" you asked since you cannot control yourself being curious.

"We talked last Saturday, and we are cool now. I'm so grateful that she's very understanding." Jinsol smiled a little but still felt guilty, "I wish I were still the one she loves when I came back, but if not, then I'll just move on to make up for my actions. I'm prepared if Jungeun was already moved on."

"She also told me stories about you," Jinsol added which made you slightly nervous. "She told me that you've been taking care of her very much." she looked at you beaming.

"Oh yeah.." you muttered wondering if she told her more than that.

"I think she doesn't know that we're related." you nodded to her agreeing.

"Yeah, It's only Yves who knows it."

"I see," Jinsol muttered and asked another question. Both of you kept catching up on other news. Jinsol is primarily talking about her experience staying in your country.

Soon after, you both decided to enjoy your lunch outside before heading to school.

Jinsol mentioned that she might accompany you to visit her friends and the school.

\

Jungeun was left bothered after that night. Her friends, particularly Jiwoo, have observed that she hasn't been her typical self on Monday morning. She has been noticing that her best friend's mind continues to drift off because Jungeun had been reading the same page for about thirty minutes.

Jiwoo told Yves about this and the latter shrugged at her and said, "Let's wait for lunch to ask her about it." Jiwoo nodded still worrying about Jungeun.

They know this was not about Jinsol's return because Jungeun told them that she and Jinsol were already on good terms. However, Sooyoung speculates that this might be about you. She never heard a single piece of news about you since last Saturday.

\

Lunch break comes, and their circle of friends is eating their meal in the cafeteria. Most of them talk about the coverage of topics for their exams and the things they didn't understand.

On the other hand, Jungeun is being quiet ever since. She will sometimes answer their questions absentmindedly while thinking about something else.

They were concerned since Jungeun had never been so silent. She was still able to connect some of the talks during the time Jinsol left. Her thoughts do occasionally drift, but not all day long, not like this.

Jungeun's phone vibrated in her pocket which made her excuse herself to answer the call.

"Hey Jinsol.." she said in a low tone.

"Hi, Lippie!...Uhm are you with others? Can I join you?" Jinsol asked slightly nervously.

Though she has sent them a message letting them know she was back, Jinsol is still hesitant if meeting them is okay. To her surprise, most of them replied with loving messages, except for Sooyoung who left her message on read.

"wait let me ask them." Jungeun went back to their table and asked the others.

"Guys, Jinsol is asking if it's okay if she joins us today?" she smiled slightly.

The three nodded very instantly. Haseul agrees, saying, "Of course, why not? Also, she owes us an explanation."

"It's fine, Lippie. Where is she by the way? Tell her that we miss her!" Jiwoo said asking for the latter. On the other side, Yves is still upset with Jinsol, but she is aware of how much she also wants to see her.

"Maybe she's on the school grounds." her best friend answered her before putting the phone on her ear, "They said you can come, Sol." there's a hint of excitement laid on her tone.

Jinsol's concern was replaced with enthusiasm and wanting to see them, "Okay! I'll be there. See you!"

"Okay, take care," Jungeun muttered as she end the call.

Jiwoo noticed that the other girl was once more lost in her thoughts. She was about to ask Jungeun but was interrupted by Jinsol's arrival.

"U-uh hi?" Jinsol greeted them hesitantly.

Jinsol is very nervous to meet them again. She knows that she needs to explain a lot of things, starting from her sudden disappearance.

Haseul was surprised a little bit but hugs Jinsol immediately.

The girl was very understanding to them ever since. She has the feel of a mother who you can rely on completely.

Vivi hugs her next, then Jiwoo. Sooyoung only gave her a fist bump and a nod.

She receives a tight hug from Jungeun as well and smiled at each other. But Jungeun's smile did not reach her eyes.

"Have you already eaten?" Vivi questioned Jinsol as she sat next to Jungeun.

"Yeah, I already had lunch with Y/n", she said, drawing the attention of her pals. In particular, Jungeun. It was like the first time she heard your name again, except that she was wondering whether you and Jinsol knew one another.

However, Sooyoung was not surprised by this. She continued finishing her food and didn't bother to look at Jinsol.

"Do you know Y/n?" Jiwoo gazed at her confused.

"Of course, Ohh...I forgot she didn't tell you that we're cousins." This statement of hers was enough to leave their mouth agape.

Jiwoo, who was stunned, is covering her mouth with her hands. While her best friend, Jungeun, is only staring at Jinsol who is now busy explaining things to the others.

Jungeun can't understand why her feelings are lost when the girl she's staring at is the one she believes the answer to.

This should elevate her mood.

Jinsol is back. She should be celebrating.

Her heart should swell with nothing but pure happiness.

But no.

The joy she was feeling today was not enough to elevate her mood.

She's dishearted.

The adage "people come and people go" is fully relevant. But is that necessary?

Her mind begins to stray yet again toward what happened the night before.

She didn't reply to you after she got your response because she felt disappointed.

Disappointed of what?

Disappointed that you didn't tell her sooner that you're leaving? or because it'll be the last time she'll be watching the sunset with you?

Maybe because you let go of her that easily?

She has no idea. She doesn't even understand why she is feeling this way.

However, the most important thing is that she has the idea why you let go of her so quickly.

Jungeun wants to see you so badly, and talk.

She is interested in your thoughts. But you are busy right now so she cannot bother you.

Jungeun's mind is at its breaking point. She's getting a headache from it. That's why she excused herself to go to the infirmary.

"Do you want me to take you there?" Jinsol offered being concerned by the latter.

"No, It's okay, I can go by myself," Jungeun muttered and stood up from her seat.

Yves also stood up and excused herself too, "I forgot something in the classroom and I have to get it." Jiwoo insists on going with her but Yves just answers her with assuring smile, "It's fine, It'll be quick."

Yves and Jungeun made their way out of the cafeteria. When they came out of it, they were meant to go the opposite way, but Sooyoung kept following Jungeun.

"You're supposed to go the other way, right?" She stopped from her walk and asked very confusedly.

"Right. But, I just wanted to talk with you." Sooyoung answered her with a small smile.

Jungeun doesn't have the energy to interact with people right now, but Sooyoung looks determined to have a conversation with her today.

Both of them continue heading to the school's infirmary.

"What is it about?" being weary is apparent in her voice.

Yves shared with her, "You look so bothered ever since morning, Jungeun. You keep spacing out and the others are very worried about you."

"Is there something I can help you with?" she continued.

"It's because my head hurts", Jungeun tried to say, dodging Yves' glares. which is true, but it's not primarily the cause of her odd behavior today.

They both reached and entered the infirmary. Sooyoung waits for Jungeun while the latter gets some meds from their school's nurse. She is silently observing Jungeun's behavior since morning. And she's not buying her excuse.

Well, maybe it is true but Sooyoung's guts were telling her that there is something else. The girl was looking very deep into her thoughts ever since morning. She keeps on spacing out which is very unusual for her.

Sooyoung by her side, Jungeun was returning to the cafeteria after receiving her medication. She has been hesitating about whether to tell Yves about what's going on in her mind.

With a gentle tug on Jungeun's arm, Yves stated, "Jungeun, that's not the way to the cafeteria. You are spacing out once more."

The said girl stopped in her tracks and answered her with, "Can we talk in the garden?".

Yves was baffled but agreed.

Reaching their destination, the two sat on the bench under the shade of the tree.

"So...what keeps bothering you, Jungeun?" Yves asked the moment they both sat.

"I-It's about Y/n," Jungeun gulped the lump in her throat. She doesn't know why it feels heavy saying your name.

Sooyoung's gaze never left the latter. Jungeun is nervous and somewhat shy. Keeping her head down playing with her fingertips.

"What about her?" Sooyoung tried to have eye contact with her.

"She told me that she's departing after this week, and..." Jungeun said, pausing to consider whether it was appropriate to disclose this information. However, Sharing this is significant because it was the cause of her excessive worrying, after all.

"And?" the other girl whispered.

"She confessed her feelings to me yesterday", Jungeun adds, turning to face Sooyoung, who's trying to suppress her sly smile.

I'm glad she took my advice, Yves whispered in her head.

"She also stated that even though she loves me, she must let me go, now that Jinsol is back. Y/n wants me and Jinsol to be happier together."

This information made Sooyoung lose her smile. She remembered that you and Jinsol are cousins that's why you chose to let Jungeun go to be with Jinsol.

"So this is why you seemed so lifeless all day long?" Sooyoung asked her which Jungeun answered with a slight nod.

The latter continues to lend her thoughts to Sooyoung. "I don't understand. Jinsol's return should make me feel very delighted because that was my only wish. But I can't at this time. I'm more worried about losing Y/n,"

"Last night, I wondered whether Y/n would ever pursue me if she didn't return because I assumed that's the reason why she let go of me so easily."

"Jungeun, Let me ask, what do you truly feel when you're with Y/n?"

"I am eased. I feel that I should put all other concerns aside when we are together and just enjoy being with each other. She made me experience somebody's genuine care and contempt." Sooyoung can see the honesty in Jungeun's eyes.

"I worry that I will once again lose my comfort. I had become accustomed to her presence. Even though we had just recently met, I feel like she quickly grew to be an important part of my life."

Hearing these words from Jungeun made Sooyoung realize things that the latter hasn't yet. She smirks at Jungeun who's looking at the trees with empty stares.

"I get that she already made up her mind to let me go when she confesses her feelings to me. But it made me feel disappointed."

"Jungeun, Do you like Y/n?" Yves's question made Jungeun look at her slightly taken aback. She didn't notice the cheeky smile on Yves' face.

"N-no?...I-i don't know."

Jungeun never gave it a second consideration. Her thoughts are too muddled to consider it. Or perhaps she is too focused on the idea that she only likes Jinsol.

However, Sooyoung's point illuminates her gloomy thoughts.

"So do you still like Jinsol?" Sooyoung asked her once again.

It caused her to pause for a second before responding, "Y-yes? I-I believe," with a very uncertain tone in her voice. As realizations dawn on her, she begins to question her feelings for Jinsol.

Sooyoung facepalmed and say, "Jungeun, consider it more thoroughly. I am aware that a lot is going on in your head, but you must think about how you feel about Y/n to realize and manage your intrusive thoughts," she pauses to look at Jungeun straight in the eye, "You'll never doubt your feelings for Jinsol if you're truly in love with her."

"Y/n's confession and choices won't ever be a significant worry that leads you to overthink if you're in love with Jinsol. If your only desire with her is as a friend, then you won't ever be disappointed and wouldn't think about other what-ifs. also remember that we still have exams on Wednesday, in case you forgot."

"Okay." The other girl answered her with a monotone voice.

Shit, I almost forgot about the exams. Thankfully I already reviewed some last week.

Jungeun said to herself.

The only Jungeun wants right now is to go home where she can think about things peacefully.

Yves's words were right. She should not be thinking too much if she only wants Y/n as a friend.

To be true to herself, Jungeun was grateful for Jinsol's return. She was excited to see and to be with her again. That's why she didn't understand this sudden change in her emotions.

But is it truly happened suddenly? What if she simply managed to miss the shift in her feelings?

Soon after,  they headed back to the cafeteria. Jungeun appears to be more okay after their talk in the garden. She mentally thanked Sooyoung for listening and giving her advice. Yves enters the cafeteria first so their friends will think that they did not come together.

Haseul and the others decided to have a study hang-out later after dismissal to prepare more for the upcoming exams, and Jinsol decided to also tag along. This has been their routine since before. They will always study in Haseul's room and tutor each other.

They did not forget to invite you to join them later, but because you already have plans, you politely rejected them. Well, you kinda avoiding Jungeun too, so.

\\

On Tuesday, the school announced that the classes will only be half day because teachers have meetings and so students can prepare for their midterm exams tomorrow.

Jungeun messaged you if it was possible to meet you but she only received, "I can't. I still have a ton of work to do. Let's talk when the exams are over. Good luck!".

She has no other choice than to study and prepare more for the exams. While she was putting out her notes on the table, her phone flashed up and shows a message from Jinsol.

"Jungeun, can I come over? Let me help you review for the exams just like before :)"

Jungeun responded, feeling more motivated to review than before, "Sure, take care."

This was their routine before every exam. In particular, in calculus, Jinsol tutors Jungeun on the topics she struggles with. She imparts to Jungeun some techniques that will make it simpler for her to answer and assess the problem. For Jungeun, she was a big help because she understood the lesson much better than her teacher's discussion.

Soon later, Jungeun's mother notified her and let her know that Jinsol had come. To begin tutoring her, she invited Jinsol to come to her room.

"What subject are you having trouble with? "Jinsol enquired as Jungeun was lending her trigonometry notebook and notes.

"This," Jungeun answered her.

The girl who likes math starts to analyze the problem on Jungeun's notes and tried to solve it on the other sheet of paper before proceeding with teaching the latter.

The two have gone through this cycle. Before teaching Jungeun how to answer the problem correctly, Jinsol will attempt to solve it herself. Then, Jinsol will assess Jungeun's understanding of the subject after giving the other girl a practice exercise.

Jungeun is having a hard time comprehending the topic's content making her completely get rid of her other problems.

Their study session was interrupted when Jungeun's mother knocked on her door to deliver some food. Jinsol and Jungeun moved away the items that were on the table to make room for the food that her mom brought to them, so they could start getting ready and eating the food.

Jinsol was very happy right now. Every small memory that they shared before, she wants to do it again. She longs to be back with Jungeun. She sincerely hopes that Jungeun would still hold a special place in her heart for her.

But, Jinsol is certain that something has changed, though. Even though they have only been together for a few days, she already feels it deeply and in many ways. Jungeun is the kind of girl who enjoys showering love on others.  She likes expressing her emotions through physical touches. Because of this, Jinsol was a little disappointed when she returned, and Jungeun was not as clingy as she had been. They were used to constantly holding each other's hands.

 It would be unreasonable for her to demand an instant favor, considering that it was her fault for the changes she was experiencing.

Jinsol already acknowledged that Jungeun might no longer be in love with her, just as she told you. Naturally, it causes her heart to hurt terribly. She does love Jungeun, but she made a mistake. Her behavior clearly shows that she is undeserving of her. Her unwise choice ultimately caused her heartache.

Jinsol broke the silence and calls the latter, "Jungeun..."

"Mhmm?" Jungeun stopped eating her food and looked at Jinsol.

"Is there someone else?" She murmured, slightly scared of what Jungeun's answer would be.

The other girl gave her a questionable look since she didn't hear it clearly, "What?"

"Is there already someone else in your heart?" Jinsol said louder than her voice earlier, before looking her directly in the eyes.

Jinsol's glares towards her were averted by Jungeun. She didn't say a word for the entire minute. She does not know how to answer because she is still not sure. She is still unsure about her feelings. Jinsol is still focusing on Jungeun, who is inadvertently fiddling with her food.

She doesn't need the answer to her question. Based on how Jungeun acts, Jinsol already has it.

"You don't need to answer... U-uhh We should eat so we can continue the review." She grinned bitterly to the latter, who was still avoiding her stares. Jungeun nodded silently and proceeds on finishing her food.

Upon completing all the food that her mother had prepared for them, they did resume the review. After that rather awkward incident, nobody dares to speak again unless it's about the exam.

\\

Jungeun's brain began to hurt from the amounts of information she had taken in after studying for nearly the whole day. She started to complain to Jinsol that she couldn't take it anymore but the other girl only laughed at her.

They organized all of her notes that were scattered across the table. Jungeun collapsed onto her bed after having an extremely exhausting day. She seems like she'll pass off quickly. 

Jinsol, on the other hand, is observing her actions in silence with a small smile on her face. It's still too early in the afternoon to call it a day, so she starts to remember some of the activities they used to do.

"Lippie, Do you want to go out?" she suggests then caused the latter to open her eyelids.

Jungeun said, "Where are we going?". The pillow muffles her voice.

"Maybe, in the Hangang River? That was our usual spot." After remembering those moments, Jinsol responded with a faint smile.

Initially hesitant, Jungeun eventually accepted.

She wants to go back there to realize things, and finally have answers to her dilemma.

Aside from that, It was what she had previously hoped for, to visit that park once more with Jinsol.

She misses spending time in that park with the person who first made it special. She used to come here just to witness the sunrise with Jinsol enjoying the ambiance of the park in the early morning. They will have their breakfast picnic while watching the sun begin to rise and reveal its warm colors, which will soon fill the entire sky for the rest of the day.

At certain times, there aren't many people in the park. Most of them were older people strolling their dogs or getting their daily exercise.

Returning to the present, the travel to the park was quite enjoyable. As it always was, jokes and laughing could be heard throughout Jinsol's car. They looked back on their past experiences at this park.

When they arrived at Hangang Park, there appeared to be an event because numerous stalls had been set up in a particular part of the park. They both decided to look through each one to see if there was anything they could buy.

After checking, Jungeun said that they should rent a bike already. She's been looking forward to it since earlier. Jinsol chuckled at her and grabbed Jungeun's hand and they began to start walking towards the rent station.

Jungeun remembered how she loved holding Jinsol's hand every time. They used to stroll this park hand in hand. No one is willing to remove each other's palms. This small gesture was enough to make her feel secure during those times.

That afternoon they spend all of the time enjoying each other's presence after longing for so much. They both agreed that they should do the activities they used to do in the park before.

She is beginning to sense that this park has become a significant part of her life. She had many memories of events that had taken place here. Regardless matter whether it's in the morning or the afternoon, it has wonderful memories that she will cherish forever.

Looking at the sunset holding their ice cream in cups, Jinsol and Jungeun sat on a bench in front of the river when the tiredness starts to kick in from strolling.

As the sun began to sets, the magnificent rosy color is spreading across the whole calm sky. Jungeun suddenly remembers you. Unknowingly her mind leads her to the memory of that day.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Jungeun was brought back to reality when Jinsol asked her.

She looked at the other girl who was grinning at her, "Just remember someone," she whispered.

"What made you remember them?" Jinsol replied then took a bite of her ice cream.

"The sunset." the latter answered slightly shaking her head. Jungeun puts her attention on her dessert before it melts.

Jinsol hummed briefly looked at her and then to the sky.

"She loves sunsets," Jungeun starts to reminisce about every moment she was with you, "and I'm starting to love it too." she continues her statement by looking at the bright pink sky.

Jinsol noticed how Jungeun's lips turns upward. This is like the first time of the day she saw the other girl smile genuinely. She has been noticing since lunch that Jungeun is slightly distracted. Don't get her wrong, but the way she smiles right now is very different than earlier.

Jinsol got intrigued by this so she asks, "tell me more about her."

"Hmm, she's wonderful. A wonderful companion and buddy. She took good care of me, and I was deeply grateful for that." the other girl stated.

They were still eating their ice cream but Jinsol can taste the bitterness on her tongue.

Getting lost in the beautiful scenery that the sunset gives to her, Jungeun begins to describe the aspects of you that she finds interesting. She was completely unaware of Jinsol's stares or the other noises coming from the busy park.

"We prefer different things, so I didn't even assume that we would get along. However, she disregards her preferences so I can choose what I enjoy." Jungeun giggles when she remembers that you hate sweet foods but still buy them for her.

"She became my comfort when I was longing for your presence. And, it made me feel a different type of warmth deep in my chest every time I'm with her."

Jinsol smiled bitterly as she hears those words from the person she dearly loves.

It looks like I have my answer to my question earlier.

"She's also selfless." A deep sigh left Jungeun's lips remembering your message.

"How can you say that she is?" Jungeun turns to look at Jinsol.

Because she chooses to let me go to be with you.

She wants to say it to Jinsol, but it's not right to say it to her.

Jinsol doesn't know anything.

Instead, she answers with, "Because she's been unselfish with me."

Jinsol couldn't do anything than nod her head and absorb all of the words that Jungeun says.

"I want to return all of the good things she has done for me." Jungeun continued.

And I badly want to be with her side forever.

Like a strike of lightning, her unexpected insight provides the answer to her dilemma.

A long silence falls between the two of them.

They both didn't notice how the sky erased the trace of the magnificent sunset and replaced it with a dim shade of gray.

"I think we should go home. It's getting colder." Jinsol suggests and gave the latter a half-smile. She got up from her seat and slightly remove the dirt off her pants.

Jungeun doesn't understand what Jinsol said.  She just nodded with an absent mind and followed her.

To Jungeun, everything fell silent. All that can be heard in her head is the noise of her thoughts.

I like her

She is now certain of what she says to herself. These three words are constantly repeating inside her mind.

Your love is like wine for Jungeun. 

A wine that gave her a bittersweet taste that she's afraid to spit out yet finds too good to swallow.

The taste that she knows; she will look for, the moment it's gone.

And she's willing to take the risks to relive the experience. 

Being drowned in her thoughts, Jungeun didn't notice that they already reached their house. Jinsol opened the door for her which made her back to reality. 

 Jinsol was patiently waiting for her as she got off the car and closes its door, "Goodbye, Lippie. Thank you for spending some time with me again. I missed it so much."

"Thank you too. I needed that tutor and the hang-out in the park. It helps me a lot." Jungeun answered her and smiled back. 

Jinsol nods and gave her a faint smile, "You should go inside."

Jungeun's stares focus on the ground and she slightly nibbles the inside of her pocket.

"Uhm, Jinsol?" the shaky whisper left her lips.

"yes?" The said girl answered her.

She knows she's certain about this, but she was unclear about Jinsol's reaction, "I'm sorry, but I like someone else already. She is leaving, so I don't want to miss what may be my final chance.", she said giving an apologetic look at her.

To her surprise, Jinsol just chuckles and pinch her cheeks. "It's fine, Lippie. She's the one you're talking about earlier, right?" heck, Jinsol knows to herself that it was a fake chuckle.

"Yes," Jungeun murmured. 

Jinsol stares at the stars in the stars when she felt her tears starting to build up. She expected this to happen. But she didn't know how hurt this could be, even though she was ready. Her awareness of who she had fallen made the heartache deeper.

She clears her throat and tried to say something without breaking her voice, "You should go inside." She smiled softly and tapped Jungeun's arm.

As Jungeun observed her eyes, they appeared to be slightly glistening. She knew that these were the tears that were going to come. 

She just nodded her head and turned around to go inside.

Jungeun felt sorry for Jinsol. 

She knows how it hurts because she'd experienced it.

I'm sorry but I know what I feel towards her is real, so I'm taking my chance. 

Jungeun muttered to herself, walking towards their door. 

The moment Jungeun entered their house, Jinsol felt a tear escape from her eye. She smiled bitterly and sniffs silently, "Why am I crying? I knew that this would happen. It's my fault after all," she said blaming herself.

She took the cuff of her jacket to wipe her tears. Jinsol inhaled deeply and starts to drive back home. 

Jinsol reflected on their earlier times spent together.  All of their moments seem to be replaying in her head like an old record. Then, a bittersweet feeling overcame her.

It was right, "The joy is in remembering; the pain is in knowing it was yesterday".

she said to herself, alone in her car.

\\

Friday is the most anticipated day of the week. After a grueling three-day exam, everyone is now celebrating its completion. Because the examinations are finally over, Haseul and the others decided to give you a farewell party at Yves' condo. They all want to hang out with you again now that they know you're leaving, as they found out last Wednesday.

In all honesty, Haseul, Vivi, and Jiwoo were pouting over the fact that they were the only ones who were unaware of your early departure. They just know that you're busy because of the upcoming midterms, not because you're also organizing your papers.

Jungeun anticipates this day as well. She was expecting finally see you and talk to you, which made her both anxious and delighted.

Additionally, realizing that she's now sure that she likes you caused her heartbeat to become more erratic. The thought of seeing you again causes her heart to beat rapidly. She misses you badly because, since you arrived in Korea, this seems to be the longest period she has been apart from you.

Yves, Jiwoo, and Jungeun were assigned to buy the drinks, chips, and other snacks. Haseul and Vivi are the ones that will prepare for the venue, and cook some meals. While you and Jinsol both decided to buy boxes of pizza and flavored fried chickens. 

When the two of you arrived at Yves' apartment, her living room was already decorated, and Haseul and Vivi were plating the food they had cooked. You set the pizza boxes on the counter and proceed to the living room. On the couch, Jinsol is already grinning while checking something on her phone.

"What are you watching?" you asked curiously.

You saw the smiling girl show you her phone. It was a cute but corny TikTok video. 

You muttered to her, "That was corny." teasing her because she is so entertaining to make fun of.

Jinsol gave you a gentle elbow and stated, "You just have no fun." She then continued watching other TikTok videos. 

You got up to the kitchen to assist the other two in preparing the food. 

Jinsol is still bitter about you since she doesn't sure if you feel the same way about Jungeun. She is aware, however, that she is solely responsible for this. She views you as a sister, thus she is unable to resist you or become upset with you. Despite the pain in her heart, she just wants to be happy for Jungeun no matter what happens.

"Hi, is there something I can help you guys with?" You ask the couple.

"Can you get some plates on the cabinet and wash them?" Vivi asks you with her charming smile.

"Sure." You smiled back and did the task.

While cleaning the dishes and utensils. You could hear the three arrive. As soon as she entered, Jiwoo gave the entire group a cheery greeting.  Yves let out giggles because of her girlfriend.

To set the chips and other snacks on the middle table, Yves headed to the living room. She and Jinsol nod at each other in greeting.

The alcoholic beverages and juice were delivered to the kitchen by Jungeun and Jiwoo. Jungeun and you exchanged shy glances for a brief moment. The tinge of crimson red may be seen on Jungeun's face. She wants to hug you right now, but it would be weird.

You muttered a trembling "Hello," unsure of how to approach her following your confession.

Before putting the drinks in the fridge, she uttered a brief "Hi."

Following a brief exchange of greetings, you bring the dishes into the living room so that you can begin eating. You had considered returning to the kitchen to assist Jungeun, but you noticed Jinsol get up and head there instead.

 You wonder whether they are already glad to be together once more. After all, you let her go for a reason, among others. A tiny bit of jealousy seeped into your heart.

You felt a nudge on your arm. "What's up?", It was Yves with her gorgeous smile asking

"I'm fine, how about you and the others?" You smiled at her too.

"I'm fine too, I don't know the others." She answered with a sly tone.

When you're going to follow up on her response, Jiwoo cuts you off. She hands a platter to each of you.

"Let's eat!" She said beaming.

Looking around, you've just noticed that the others are holding their plates.

Your dinner was quickly followed by the small party. Everyone was enjoying themselves and was concentrating on playing cards. Wave after wave of laughing, argument, and shouting flooded Yves' apartment. Jiwoo, Jinsol, and Jungeun did most of the shouting as they became engrossed in the UNO game.

Most of the time, you and Vivi are the only ones doing anything but laughing while this chaos unfolds. This scene occurs frequently, regularly. On the other hand, Jungeun constantly steals and looks your way. Because you also continued doing this to her, you always caught her glancing your way.

Even though you're all having fun, your interactions are nonetheless awkward.

This was observed by Yves, but every time she witnessed the two of you acting strangely, she simply grinned and shook her head. Jinsol observed this encounter as well and believes that you and Jungeun have something going on.

After almost 10 rounds of UNO, Haseul thought that it is time to play the drinking game. It was a card game that involves alcoholic drinks. The cards contain dares, questions, and the statement "you drink".

Yves requests your company while she goes to grab the drink. and you replied, "Of course," to her.

As you stood up, you followed the girl in her behind.

Jungeun continued to fixate on you before you left her line of sight. She's already interested in speaking with you, but the timing is awful.

"Go get the tequila. I'll just cut some lemons and get some iodine salt." She commanded you. You nodded your head and proceed on getting the drink.

To grab the tequila, you opened the refrigerator. As well as the cupboard where you find the shot glasses.

When you had everything you needed, you returned to Sooyoung, who was chopping some lemons. The salt was already placed on the saucer when you got beside her.

"You were very awkward with each other," Sooyoung says as you observe her in silence.

She was so sudden, you went, "Huh?"

"Tss, I said, you and Jungeun are awkard." She gave you a quick glimpse before turning back to the lemon.

"W-well...I don't know." You whispered.

Sooyoung just mentally faces palmed before placing the lemon slices on the platter. After placing all of the dirty dishes in the sink, She grabs the plate and saucer,

You took this as a sign to go back to the living room.

Cheers can be heard once more in the living room.

"We don't need to finish the bottle of tequila", Haseul, the group's mother, reminds everyone. "If you start feeling tipsy, it's alright to quit," she says.

After confirming her request, everyone gathered back in a circle around the center table. Vivi shuffles the deck while secretly anticipating who would be the first to get drunk.

Since everyone had a shot before the game began, it appears that the others have plans to become inebriated. Since she still wants to talk to you, Jungeun has decided not to play the game and may instead take only a shot tonight.

However, you chose to enjoy yourself because this will be your final night with them and you have a strong tolerance for alcohol. You also feel the need to drink due to the complicated of your love life.

You all took turns selecting a card from the deck. Jinsol was given the challenge to consume one slice of lemon and chew it for one minute. Based on the card she was chosen, Vivi must take a shot. Jiwoo was given the challenge to stop her mouth till it was her turn once more. The "no shot until your turn" card was also dealt to you.

After about two rounds of playing with the card, everyone decided to quit because they were all starting to feel dizzy. Even though they were already dozing off, they insisted on watching a movie. Only you and Jungeun are still sane. For you, Jiwoo, and her girlfriend to lay down on the carpeted floor, you moved the living room's center table. As you and the others rested, Jungeun went to grab some pillows and blankets for you and the others.

This made your heart flutter with joy.

In the middle of the movie, something on you wants to go out on Yves's balcony. You look at your friends who are soundly sleeping beside you. Gently getting up from laying down, you go out assuming that all of your friends were deep asleep. 

Half sleeping, Jungeun awoke to see someone approaching the television. She looked over at her friends who were lying down and saw that you weren't there. The girl immediately rose and turned to search for you. She noticed you leaning against the glass railing.

Jungeun went out to the balcony even though she knows that it was slightly cold. 

The sound of the sliding door caught your attention. You felt your heart jumps because of joy and nervousness.

 "It's cold you should go inside," You stated to the girl wrapped around a blanket.

"I know but I want to talk with you." Jungeun said tackling herself more to keep warm.

Although you are a little unsure of what she wants to discuss with you, you are aware that you are interested in talking with her as well. 

Nodding to her, "So, how are your test results?" you ask opening a topic to talk to.

"It was hard but, yeah, they were all finished." Jungeun answered looking at the city lights.

You haven't seen her for a week now. Without a doubt, you missed her company and admire her inherent beauty. You can tell she was sleepy by looking at her face, but despite this, she is still awake. 

To avoid her noticing that you are staring at her, you turn your gaze elsewhere.

Silence falls between the two of you. 

On the other hand, Jungeun is very nervous about what she would like to say to you. She can feel the tension building in her chest. 

Looking at the cars below you, you can feel that she start to stare at you. 

"I like you." she whispered but this is enough for you to understand what she said. 

Looking back at her, you chuckle and give a little headshake before saying, "I'm not Jinsol."

Jungeun stated to you with certainty, "I know and I like you for who you are."

A portion of your heart blossoms with hope. You can feel it in the way that your stomach turns over and your heart begins to race. But you don't believe her since you thought she was simply playing with you because she was tired.

"Stop. You're just making me hope that it was true." 

"Y/n, I'm not lying. I no longer love her. It was you—the person for whom my heart seeks."

"I'm sorry, It's hard to believe, Jungeun. Is this about my confession—"

Jungeun, cut you off, "It's not about it, Y/n. I genuinely like you. You've been in my mind and dreams. My genuine feelings are for you. I initially believed they were for Jinsol."

You don't know what to reply to her because you can see in her eyes and feel in her voice that these were all real and nothing but pure honesty.

After saying what she wanted to say, Jungeun felt a slight sense of relief.

Your heart has fully blossomed with hope, and joys are now enveloping it. But then, your cousin comes to your mind.

"Does Jinsol knows about this?" you ask. The guilt is starting build-up.

Jungeun answered shortly after, "She knows, but didn't know it was you." 

You turned your head aside as you tried to gather your thoughts.

"I don't know. This happens so fast for me, Jungeun. I'm leaving in a few days already. Think about it carefully. Let's talk before I leave." You said seriously.

A small "okay" was her reply.

Although Jungeun is aware that this is a quick occurrence for them, she still believes in her love for you. Additionally, she needs time to reflect on your leaving and other matters after this.

"Also, I want to concentrate on my studies because I have a great responsibility after I graduate from college," You added, slightly explaining to her what you want to happen even after this.

Once again the silence falls between the two of you.

Each minute, the number of cars on the road decreased indicating that it was getting late. 

Your hearts felt as though they were about to pop when the sliding door opened and someone spoke.

"What are you two doing there in the cold?" It was Jinsol.

The two of you buffers didn't know what to say.

"U-Uhm we just talked but we're going inside already," you answered her with a thin smile. Jungeun nods along, taking a glance at you before turning to Jinsol.

Jinsol returns the nod and yawns before rubbing her eyes.

Jungeun and you exchanged glances before smiling briefly. You follow Jungeun as she enters the room, and locks the door. 

\\

It's now Tuesday afternoon, four days after the party. Moreover, it is the night before your departure. Jinsol started her first day back at school last Monday when the school restored its normal routine.

You paid a final visit to your relatives in Korea over the past weekend. They also decided to treat you to dinner wishing you luck and a safe trip back to your home country.

Since there haven't been many changes in your interactions with Jinsol, you assume that she is still unaware of your situation with Jungeun.

When your doorbell is rung, you are arranging your belongings in your luggage. You get up to open the door, but because it's lunchtime and everyone else is in school, you're not anticipating a visitor today.

To your surprise, it was your cousin that come to your apartment. 

"You are now skipping classes, Jeong Jinsol?" you playfully said to her. 

Jinsol laughed at you and went inside your apartment saying, "I asked Miss Jung if I can go help you with your stuff, and she gladly agreed."

She has already observed the clutter in your living room. Your sofa is covered in a few stacks of clothing, and there are three pieces of baggage on the ground. Jinsol begins to organize part of your clothing and fold it so that it will fit more compactly in the bag.

You went to your room to get a pile of the books you had purchased while in Korea.

"Are your documents and plane ticket ready?" Jinsol asks while still folding your clothes. 

Sitting on the couch adjacent to her, and answered. "Yes, I already arranged them last week. I only have to pack up my things now."

You keep organizing your books. "When did you start packing", Jinsol ask

"Last night." You said and got up again to get some other things in your room.

She stares worriedly at you as you return to the living room, "Did you get enough sleep?" 

"Well, kinda. I had other things to do last night, so." 

Jinsol has stop putting your clothes in the luggage when she heard your answer.

"You've been sleeping late these past weeks, Y/n. That's not good. Oh, and before I forgot, I'll send you tomorrow at the airport." 

You nod to her statement, "I know, I'm just thinking some other things." 

"Is this about Jungeun?" Jinsol abruptly said.

You froze for a brief second and questioned if Jinsol knew enough about it.

"I know that it was you, Y/n." She said to you like she had read your mind, " and I'm not mad." she continued.

"I-I'm sorry." this came out naturally from you. 

"Don't be. It's not your fault to fall for her." She said and gave an assuring smile. 

Because of your guilt for your cousin, you gulped and said, "W-well, It was late when I realize that she was the one you're talking about, but I promised it's not my intention to fall for her."

She had known it was you ever since Jugeun first described you to her in the park. Considering that she has known this aspect of you since you were a child. Furthermore, she noticed how serious you two appeared to be when she saw you on Yves' balcony having a conversation.

Jinsol gives you a small smile and says, "I know, Y/n. I just want to be happy for both of you. She deserves better, and I know it's you." 

She meant these words. She values both of you greatly because you and Jungeun played significant roles in her life. Although Jinsol is aware that it would be difficult for her to move on, she will do her best for the two of you.

Well, it works out extremely well for you. You immediately felt relieved as your concern for Jinsol disappeared.

"Is this what you guys talked about last Friday?" 

"But, I told her that it happens so quickly and she should think about it more", you replied, slightly shaking your head.

"Just trust Jungeun—" she was interrupted when the sound of your door alarm filled the apartment. 

The video intercom shows the girl she was about to say. 

Your heart skips a beat the moment you saw her. 

"Oh, she's here. You two should talk again. I'll go now and be back later at night." Jinsol smiled at you one last time. 

You walked her up to the doorway before she opens it. 

Jungeun was startled when she saw you and Jinsol opening the door. 

"H-hi." she left a small greeting to both of you.

 Jinsol greeted back with a wave and let Jungeun come in. 

After locking eyes, you and Jungeun flashed a smile at one another.

"Have a seat." You said to her offering your sofa.

"Thank you, but I'm not going to be here for very long", Jungeun politely declined your offer, saying, "I only want to give you this." She then handed you a piece of paper and said, "I hope you'll read it after your departure."

You take a small red envelope that you assume is a letter.

Feeling your heart sparkling with curiosity and joy about what the letter would be.

"T-thanks," you say, blushing a little on your cheeks.

With embarrassment, Jungeun rubs her nape. "Y/n, I want you to know that I'm really sure of my feelings for you. I know it appears as if it happens fast but the truth is that I didn't realize it sooner. You're right, We should focus more on our goal for ourselves and I'm ready to wait for you no matter what. Let's not hurry the thing about us because if we are really for each other, we are till the end." Jungeun felt weak because her heart was full of delight.

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've just known for a short while?

To Jungeun, it is. She experienced a different surge of joy while she was with you. She felt her soul was captivated by the warmth of your presence. She felt so domesticated just being around you because you are her home. 

You immediately felt as though your soul were being taken to heaven after hearing Jungeun's statement. Your delight caused your hearts to soar.

You cannot stop yourself anymore and hugged Jungeun so tightly. The two of you haven't been this close to each other in a very long time.

"I'm very thankful for assuring me, Jungeun. You don't know how much these words mean a lot to me."

Jungeun hid her face on your shoulder and hugged you back. 

She cannot feel her chest anymore. It's too numb because of how happiness and gratification.

That afternoon your hearts were so close to each other, beating in the same rhythm.

 It feels like your heartbeats became one.

\\

Jinsol sent you to the airport as she had promised yesterday. Before they left for school, your other friends met you at your apartment. You hugged each of them individually and made a promise to visit them when you have time.

The last person to give you a final, tight hug was Jungeun. She gives you a cheeky kiss on the cheek. You briefly felt frozen, but you immediately tightened your embrace of her.

"I'll miss you," you said whispering to her ear.

When Jungeun felt your breath near her ear, she shivered a little and said, "I'll miss you too."

You are currently on your way to your home country. Opening your bag, you saw the red letter that Jungeun gave to you. Without a doubt, you read it.

To Y/n,

I'm sure you were on your way home by the time you read this letter. I do hope that you'll arrive home safe and sound.

We've settled down a few things here. I'll always keep our promise, and I do hope you'll do the same.

You don't have to be concerned with all of the problems that disturb you. Although time and distance may be a challenge, I am confident that we will always find a way to return to each other's arms.

I'm grateful that the universe allowed our tiny paths to cross. I never would have imagine meeting someone as wonderful as you. I was at my lowest point when you met me. My life was completely soulless and lifeless before you arrived, and I'm pleased you're here now.

A typical human heart beats over 3 billion times throughout their lifetime, but every time I see you, my heart skips a beat, depriving me of the normal amount of heartbeats. How long have I kept myself isolated and terrified of all of these? But this time, I'm willing to take a chance on something genuine. Since I am aware that the greatest love of all is that which the heart may feel but the eyes can not see.

Y/n, forever I will stay with you.

With you, and only you.

\\

For the three years, everyone has been doing very well in their college life. Even though they're studying in different cities, they always find a way to have time together.

Additionally, you keep your promise to pay them a visit when you get the chance. But finding time is never easy due to the time difference and everyone's schedule.

Similarly, Jungeun and you experienced this. You solely communicated through Messaging for the first several months that you were apart from one another. There are times when you glance out your window, and all you see are dark skies and stars, even though you can see the sunset in the background.

But you have a great plan.

\\

The sun is already setting when Jungeun reached her apartment. Opening her door she can already smell the food that is being cooked.

Grinning to herself she thought it was her best friend again surprising her a visit. When she removed her shoes she couldn't recognize the shoes laying on her shoe rack. Additionally, it looks like newly bought shoes too.

"Yah, Jiwoo you didn't inform me again—" she immediately stop in her tracks and was very surprised at what she was seeing.

"Surprise? I guess." You said slightly chuckling before putting down the ladle and turning off the stove

Before you even had a chance to turn around, you felt two arms firmly around your waist. You hold her hands while giggling at her and try to ease them a little so you can turn around and hug her as well.

Jungeun pressed her face on your neck while holding you so dearly.

You wrapped your arms around her neck and gently laughed as you whispered, "I'm not going anywhere, Kim."

"I miss you so much," She said softly. You began to rub her back when you felt a dump on your sleeve.

Kissing her temple, "don't cry."

After some minutes of hugging each other in the middle of her kitchen, Jungeun wiped her tears and sniffled.

"Let's eat, I already cooked your favorite food." You said to her smiling. She nods to you and holds your hand.

You two primarily discussed college life over dinner. She questioned what you were doing in Seoul when you were supposed to be at school today. You explained that you are taking advanced courses so you can graduate faster than planned, which is why you didn't frequently visit them during your holidays.

Because you didn't inform Jungeun of your plan, she acts like she was annoyed. However, she secretly felt touched and proud of you for working so hard to get back to Korea.

Following supper, the two of you spend the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch, feeling at ease. While you two are watching a random television program, Jungeun is resting her head against your chest. Her hair is being caressed by one of your hands as the other is snugly around hers.

Before you both turn in for the night, you two agree to watch the sunrise the following morning.

\\

You haven't been to the Hangang River in a very long time.

The last time you went here was the point at which you realized Jungeun would never truly be yours and that you would have to let her go.

 But it looks like the universe has a different plan for both of you.

The moon is setting. You and Jungeun are peacefully strolling down the park's path while casually holding hands. 

The warmth in your heart radiates from the heat of your palms against one another.

You two sat down on a seat as the morning sky began to reveal its serene pastel hues. Now that it is awake, the sun is prepared to present everyone with a memorable day.

The sun's dazzlingly bright light reflects Jungeun's face as she looks at her. 

You want to wake up to this view each morning.

"Jungeun," you called her softly. 

The girl looked at you cutely raising one of her eyebrows and smiling, "hmm?"

"Can I be your girlfriend?" You've been dying to ask her this question for a very long time.

You felt a tight squeeze of your hand.

Jungeun looks at you and playfully says, "The sunrise is beautiful, isn't it?"

This statement made you laugh, and answered her, "It is." while nodding your head. 

She smiled at you before leaning in.

 "Then, it's a yes." 

Those were the last words you heard before you felt her soft lips on yours.

It taste like a wine.

The wine of her affection.

[aristocratic-otter]

Hello everyone! Happy Wednesday!

I've been fairly productive this week, and I've got something from every WIP except Playing with Fire, Treading Thin Ice (because I posted a chapter of that today). I've also got a teaser for a new WIP that I've just barely started. It's a lot, so I'll thank folk here and post all the snippets under the cut.

Also, shout out to @bookish-bogwitch, whose story Size You Up made me laugh until I cried this week.

Thank you for the tags and I'm extremely impressed by your work, @urban-sith, @confused-bi-queer, @angelsfalling16, @facewithoutheart@artsyunderstudy, @basiltonbutliketheherb, @tea-brigade, @fatalfangirl.

Tagging (as always, for Sunday, because I can't get my shit together before midnight, it seems): @annabellelux, @bazzybelle, @bookish-bogwitch, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @captain-aralias, @dragoneggo, @fight-surrender, @foolofabookwyrm-activated, @frjsti, @giishu, @ileadacharmedlife, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @krisrix, @kherub, @moodandmist, @otherworldsivelivedin, @prettylightsbigcity, @palimpsessed, @raenestee, @whatevertheweather, and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe. I can't wait to see your work!

From: Westward Son:

Though the river does push the swimmers downstream several hundred feet, they make it across without incident. Then the rope is strung, tied to an immense boulder on the far shore. The strongest among those of us remaining, stand on the front of the raft and pull it along using both hands. 

My wagon is in the first group across, and it’s nerve wracking. I can feel the river fighting to push us downstream, with only the muscles of the six men and two women resisting. But we make it across. Then, Baz and Shepard and a few others ride back across on the empty ferry, which is pulled back to shore by a second rope, attached to the rear of it. On the other side, they leap down and help move the next group of wagons onto the craft. 

It’s on this second trip across that disaster strikes. 

From: Raising Dragons

I’m making a rat smoothie. I realise that sounds demented. It was Simon’s idea, of course. I was moping over the revolting nature of drinking blood, during one of my dark days, and he suggested that I bring the rats home and blend the blood up with some frozen fruit; make it taste good, or at least, palatable. I scoffed at the time, but the idea wouldn’t leave me alone, so tonight I drank five rats and brought the last one home, just to try it out. Crowley, I’ll have to soak the cutting board in bleach after gutting a filthy sewer rat on it. 

I suppose next, he’ll be having me try rat blood coffee drinks. 

From: Careful What You Wish For:

We hear  a tap on the door, but Penny’s pushing through it before either of us can do more than turn that direction. “Penny!” I protest. “What if I was naked?” 

She rolls her eyes. “I sent Baz ahead, didn’t I?”

Baz’s amused smirk grows wider. “You really didn’t think that through, did you, Bunce?” 

Penny pauses from setting two trays of food on Gareth’s bed (it’s not like it can get any messier, I suppose) and casts him a wide-eyed look of confusion. To illustrate his point, Baz suddenly throws one of his knees over my legs and crawls up to cover me with his body. He lowers himself gently until his weight is resting on me and his nose is pressing into my cheek. I shudder at the feel of him. Then he moves just enough to bring our lips together, and my arms fly up to wrap around his lower back, pressing down towards his arse. 

“Alright!” Penny shouts, and we startle apart. “Eight snakes, Baz, point taken! I will wait to be invited in in future!”

Baz snorts into my collarbone and I laugh. I would have just whined at Penny and she’d have gone on merrily doing exactly what she wanted. Baz certainly knows how to get his point across!

And, a little tease from something new 😉:

Penny

There’s something different about Simon today. I mean, I don’t know much about him, but I flatter myself that I know him. He’s always been calm, confident, utterly unflappable. 

Today he is definitely flapped. 

All of his body language bends towards Baz. If they’re not holding hands, Simon is snuggled into Baz’s side. If they’re not touching, Simon’s eyes won’t leave him. If I had to put a word to the change in him, I’d say he’s pining. 

But that doesn’t make sense! It’s obvious that Baz adores him. There’s no chance in hell that he’ll let Simon go. So why would Simon be so anxious?

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Dear Teacher - Part 2

warnings: teacher and student relationship (The reader is between 19 and 25 years old and please don't get involved with your teachers) angst,fluff, smut (fingering, unprotected sex -Please use a condom- dirty talk)

Word count: 3342 (surely the most I have ever written)

N/A: Hey, many people were asking, so I brought you part two of dear teacher, I hope you like it.I am creating a taglist, message me if you want to be added 💖💖

Part 1

When Tom woke up on Saturday morning he was disappointed to realize that you were no longer there, for a moment he thought that maybe it had all been a dream or just his imagination playing with him, but something inside him knew that no, that the incident had really happened.

"Incident" was how Tom was referring to the whole of Friday night. It had been a bad idea, he knew, meeting you at that bar, inviting you to sit with him, kissing you, taking you to his apartment, and everything that happened after that. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it.

MONDAY:

 Tom was nervous. It was the first time he had seen her since Friday and he still didn't know how to handle it.

You walked into the auditorium that morning and it seemed that fate loved to play with you as the two of your gazes met almost instantly, he swallows dryly and you blush before quickly looking away and running to your seat at the back of the room.

 "Good morning everyone" He says starting his class, everyone in the room answers him quickly.

 "Good morning Mr. Holland" Cindy, one of your students, says cheerfully "Looks like you had a great weekend" she points to a small purple spot on your neck, all the students start laughing as soon as she notices it. You sink into your chair, wanting to hide, mortified with embarrassment, remembering very well that you made that mark on Tom who was blushing in front of everyone's eyes.

"Anyway" he huffs loudly taking the students' attention back to class "I've corrected your Brontë sisters' papers, I'm happy to say that we got very good grades, but only one got a top grade, I'll give it back to you Wednesday" he says before continuing his lesson. 

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

The class passes slowly, like torture for both of them, they just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. They needed to talk about what they had done, but they were more than happy not to do that today.

"That's all for today, remember to turn in your next paper on Monday and get ready for the debate next month, see you all on Wednesday" he says to everyone as his class ends. Slowly the room starts to empty, but you can't get out as a hand grabs your wrist making you turn to see who it was.

"Y/N" Mike, the boy who had missed your date on Friday was standing there holding your hand "I just wanted to apologize again for not coming on Friday, I didn't mean to ruin your weekend kitten" he apologizes.

"It's okay, really, you didn't ruin my weekend" you answer politely.

"If you want" he says getting closer to you "We can reschedule, I promise I won't cancel this time" he gives you a conquering smile.

Tom settles back in his chair, moving his hands nervously across his lap. He didn't want to hear your conversation, but as soon as he heard no names being called he started to pay attention, he had no right to be jealous, you weren't his girl, but he hoped you wouldn't accept it, you deserved much better than that boy in front of you.

"Mike, I'm sorry, but I can't accept it" You say, trying to be polite and pulling away from him a little.

"Just a date kitten" Tom rolls his eyes from where he was sitting, did he not understand what no was?

"We better just be friends" you dismiss yourself before leaving the room.

"Girls" the idiot says before leaving the room.

TUESDAY:

Thomas only saw you once that day, talking to your friends in the hallways.

He felt your gaze on him, which made his heart beat faster, and when he returned your gaze you looked away, blushing at having been caught in the act.

As he lay in his bed that night, the memories came back, he was beginning to hate it. Avoidance and being avoided, the two of them should talk about what happened instead of pretending not to and acting like children.

WEDNESDAY:

You were pacing back and forth in the hallway, debating with yourself, trying to decide whether or not to go into that office.

This morning, as Tom walked around the room handing out corrected papers to his students, he left his paper on your desk whispering a congratulations before moving on to the next student. You saw the top grade written on the first page and a little yellow post-it note placed there saying "Meet me in my office at 18:00, please".

It was still 17:50, you could still get away from there and that conversation, but you didn't want to, as nervous as you were you knew what you needed to do. You knock on the door and open it just as you hear a "come in" coming from inside.

"You came" he says getting up from his chair and gives you a shy smile.

"You asked..."

"I didn't think you would actually come."

"I think we really should talk Mr. Holland" you says nervously looking down at her own feet so she doesn't have to face him.

"Mister Holland?" He asks "I thought i asked to call me Tom"

"I can't do that"

"I understand" His voice, there was something different in it, hurt perhaps.

A silence fills the room for a few minutes before he begins to speak.

"I'm sorry about Friday."

"Why are you apologizing?" You asks without understanding.

"I just...thought you..." He sighs walking over to stand in front of your desk, only a few steps away from you.

"I don't regret what we did" You speak as soon as you realize where your speech was going.

"No?" He finally looks directly at you.

"No, my God, I loved every part of that night" a small smile appears on his lips which fades soon after as you continue to speak "But that doesn't mean it wasn't wrong, we shouldn't have let it get to that point".

"I know it wasn't, I know...it was so wrong"

For some reason it was painful to be in that room without being able to touch him again.

"I really wish I wasn't your teacher" he walks towards you "To have met you at another time, maybe then I could have had you to myself, take you out without fear of anyone seeing us, hold your hand, kiss you" His hand caresses your face and you close your eyes leaning in to feel his touch more "I wanted so much Y/N, I wanted to make you my girl...I really like you"

"Thomas, I like you too..." You sigh, your heart aching with every word spoken "But sometimes liking isn't enough for two people to stay together."

"I know, and that's the part that hurts the most" He forehead rests against yours, both of you with your eyes closed, in-between sloshed breaths that were already mingling, Tom felt a tear run down his cheek, your mouths so close "Y/N..."

"Thomas..."

"Tom man, we are late, your brothers will kill us if we are late again" Someone says opening the door suddenly just as you and he are about to kiss. The two of you quickly walk away panting for breath trying to recover from the moment, Tom quickly wipes the tear from his face. A tall blond man that you had seen other times in the halls together with Tom looks at you not understanding anything.

"Am I interrupting something?" the blond man asks suspiciously.

"No" the two of you answer quickly.

"Harrison, this is my student, Y/N" Tom introduces the two of you, perhaps as a way to change the subject "Y/N, this is Harrison Osterfield, professor in the physics department and my best friend".

"It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Y/N" He extends his hand to greet her " I have heard Tom compliment you several times, always saying that you are the best student in your class".

"My pleasure Mr. Osterfield" you shake his hand "I think he is just exaggerating a lot, anyway, I better go, I don't want to get in the way anymore, bye" you take your things and leave the room leaving the two men alone there.

"Wait a moment" He say to Harrison before coming after you.

He holds your wrist and makes you look at him, honestly he almost didn't care anymore that the two of you were standing in the middle of the empty university hallway.

"Y/N please" he says.

"Please what?" you say hurt "Do you want me to stay here? To fight for a passion that is doomed to fail? Something that could end my life at this university or end your career?

"Don't talk like that, we can make it work" he says hurt.

"I wish I was brave enough to try, I swear I do" you let go of his hand "But I'm not, it was just one night stand sex and as much as I like you I know that the sooner we get over it and move on the better, for both of us" you turn and walk away, leaving Tom standing there alone in the hallway with his hurt.

THURSDAY:

Your heart was still hurting. Last night you collapsed on your knees as soon as you got to your dorm room and let the tears finally fall, you were lucky you didn't have a roommate so you could cry all day long without having to answer questions about why you were so bad. And you cried until your eyes hurt, screamed against your pillow until your throat burned, let the sadness leave your body until you finally gave in to tiredness and went to sleep.

Tom was no better off than you, he spent the whole dinner with your family quiet while everyone else at the table talked, he wished so much that he wasn't in love with you, he wished it really had only been one-night stands, maybe then he wouldn't feel like he could die at any moment if he didn't have you by his side.

In different places, but sharing the same pain.

FRIDAY:

Tom looked across the room at you, his eyes red and his expression sad, it looked like you had been crying all night, and you really had, he wanted to go over there and hug you and tell you that everything would be okay, but he couldn't.

If they had thought Monday's class had been torture, this was something worse. Tom gave his class trying to avoid looking in your direction, while you couldn't pay attention to anything that was being said, you just wanted to go back to your room and cry some more. It was the last class of the day so you ran to your room as soon as it was over.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

Tom was tapping his pen frantically on his desk, he should have been correcting his students' work but his mind was elsewhere and his head hurt like it was going to explode at any moment.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" Harrison asks, he was with Tom in his office and was starting to get irritated with his best friend.

"What?" Tom asks waking up from his thoughts.

"Tom you've been acting weird all fucking week, you spent the entire Wednesday dinner quiet a thing you don't often do."

"I don't know what you are talking about" he pretends to be paying attention to the papers in front of him.

"Does it have anything to do with that girl who was here?" he asks curious, Tom doesn't answer which only confirms Harrison's thoughts "Oh my god, it has everything to do with her doesn't it?".

"I really don't want to talk about it"

"You like her, that's why you're all emotional, because you can't be with her" Harrison speaks and Tom wonders when did his best friend get so good at unraveling his feelings.

"I had sex with her on Friday" Tom admits at once, his friend had already figured out pretty much everything so there was no reason to keep secrets anymore.

"WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THAT?" he practically shouts.

"Can you keep it down please, you're acting like a teenager, we passed that stage a long time ago and I don't want the whole campus to find out."

"I'm not the one acting like a teenager, you are, getting all angry and quiet over something that can easily be resolved" Harrison rolls his eyes as he states the obvious.

"She doesn't want me Harrison, she likes me, but she doesn't want me, she's scared and I can't judge her because I am too, this could destroy my teaching career and end her reputation here"

"Tom, isn't she one of the students graduating this year?" Harrison asked even though he already knew the answer.

"Yeah"

"Dude, she's graduating in less than 5 months and you're telling me that the two of you can't keep this relationship a secret for 5 months?"

"I..." Tom hadn't stopped to think about it.

"I'm sure you two can make it work."

"What if she's not willing to try?"

"You should at least try, Holland, go out there and fight for your girl" He encourages his friend.

"I think you are right, I will do it".

"Of course I'm right" He smiles smugly "Anyway, I don't want to have to put up with your sadness any longer" He says laughing.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

It was almost midnight when you hear someone knocking on your dormitory door, you get out of bed and go to open the door.

"Thomas what are you doing here?" You ask as you see him standing outside, he walks into your dorm still without giving any explanation, you close the door and turn to see him "What kind of idiotic idea is this to come to my dorm, someone could see you here, how would we explain this?" You ask in an agitated manner.

Tom doesn't answer at first, he just looks at you, the baggy sweatshirt too big for your body, the hair tied back with a few strands falling in front of your face and the glasses on the end of your nose, and he can't resist. He walks toward you and kisses you, holding your face between his hands, his hands against your chest as you respond to his kiss, his heart beating hard in his chest and the sense of relief that he is kissing you again after what seems like the longest week of his life.

"I'm sorry" he says pulling away "I didn't come to do this, I just wanted to talk and..."

"It's okay" he fixes his glasses on his face.

"Y/N, I really like you, this is so stupid, I just... I want to try this, it's only five months until you graduate, we can make it...

"Tom" you try to interrupt him but he keeps talking non-stop.

"...to do this, I'm sure it wouldn't be easy at first and it's not the kind of relationship that's ideal or the relationship that someone like you deserves..."

"Tom" calls him again.

"But I'm willing to try, for you, for us, I want to try..." You kiss him again making him stop talking.

"I'm willing to try Tom" you say between kisses and he smiles "For us"

"I didn't think you would accept, I was already preparing myself for a no" you both laugh.

He sits down on your bed and pulls you to sit on his lap with each leg on one side of your body, he takes the glasses off your face and places them on your desk before kissing you.

"Damn, I missed that" he sighs between the kiss.

"It's literally only been a week" you say smiling.

"Really? It's felt like forever" he kisses you more intensely this time, his hands gripping your hips tightly making you move over his lap, the kisses slide down your face to your neck, you throw your head back.

"Tom" you say his name as a plea, his hands slide up your thigh squeezing you firmly.

"What do you want princess?" He asks with his head in the curve of your neck before leaving a small bite in that region.

"You, Thomas, I need you" you slowly roll over in his lap feeling his already hard length under you "please".

He smiles smugly at your response. Your sweatshirt is removed leaving you in just your panties and Tom lays you down on your bed placing his body on top of yours .

"This has been the most torturous week of my life" he removes the rest of his clothes and throws them on the floor "I couldn't get you out of my mind" he leaves a kiss on her neck exactly where he had "I thought about how I wanted to feel you again" the kisses descend to the top of her breasts and one of his hands grab her thigh wrapping her leg around his waist while the other goes down to her intimacy pulling her panties apart just enough for two fingers to touch them "That pussy is so wet, all this for me honey? "

"Yes, all for you Tom" he smiles at her answer before penetrating her with his fingers causing a quiet moan to come from her lips.

"Good girl."

"Your girl" you sigh ecstatic with pleasure.

"Fuck" Tom kisses you again, your words making him even harder than he already was "Say that again " he thrusts his fingers inside you reaching that wonderful spot inside you.

"I.Am.Your.Girl."

"My girl."

He had barely started and you were already so close, but he doesn't let you get there, teases you to the edge before stopping and doing it all over again.

"Please stop teasing me, I'm so close" you beg.

"No princess, I want you to cum around my dick" He says pulling his fingers out of you and removing your panties before turning you both over on the bed making you stand on top, he sits against the headboard as you rest your hands on his shoulders "now ride me like the good girl I know you are".

You sit on his member feeling him fill you completely, you both moan the moment you are finally together, standing still for a moment to get used to his size. Moving slowly until you finally get into a rhythm.

"So so good" he moans, his hand gripping her throat the way he remembered he had made her go crazy last time "So beautiful riding my dick" his other hand leaves a slap on her ass making her moan his name out loud as she throws her head, back rolling over in his lap .

"Tom I'm so close" you say as he gives you a push with his hips making his cock hit your G-spot, his hand making circular motions against your clit this time.

"Come to me then baby" he says and with a few more movements you are enjoying his wrist making you come next, your head falls on his shoulder and he spreads kisses down your neck as you recover from your recent orgasm.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

You were wearing your shirt now, your head lying on his chest as he stroked your hair.

"You'll still be here when I wake up, right?

"Well this is my dorm so I can't leave" you say as a joke.

"I'm serious Y/N" he says laughing.

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere" you smile fondly returning to lie on his chest closing your eyes almost falling asleep with his affection.

"Good, I don't want you to leave, I want you forever" he kisses the top of your head before falling asleep with you in his arms, no goodbyes this time.

[soccerximagines]

I've got a harsh idea! One with Marcus where his mum doesn't like you at all and thinks your with him for the fame and money so she offers you money in exchange for you to break up with Marcus. You don't take the money but you couldn't trample on all pride and still stay with her son so you break up with him but you don't even have a proper explanation because you were fine just in the morning. You pack up and leave Manchester to go back to London where you're originally born and raised. He cries to his mum but she obv doesn't tell him why until after a few weeks of trying to get you to back, understand what caused this, and just being totally heartbroken. She notices that he's really slipping without you and realises how much you mean to him. She confesses what had happened to him, after a month of being apart and he's mad but doesn't waste a time before coming over to yours to confront you about it, mad at you for not telling him too but then you make up and you're relationship is stronger than ever before. Thank you Xx

Mother-in-law

"Excuse me?" The disbelief clear in your voice as you spoke. You couldn't quite believe what you were hearing.

When Marcus's mom invited you out for lunch you were happy. You knew she didn't particularly like you, and naively enough you thought this could be a chance for the two of you to bond a little.

But here she sat, offering you money; a lot of money even, for breaking up with her son. Clearly she didn't have bonding in mind when she invited you here today, you thought to yourself - still in shock.

"Don't act so shocked, it was clear from the beginning that it was money and fame you wanted," his mother scoffed, rolling her eyes at you.

You knew her first impression of you hadn't been the best. A couple of months into your relationship with Marcus you experienced some problems with the shower in your apartment. Some sort of leakage made it unlivable. Luckily it was quickly fixed by a plumber, the only problem being that the bill ended up being £1000.

The bill had been stressing you out for weeks as you picked up extra shifts to try to pay it off. You were overworking yourself to the maximum and eventually Marcus had interfered and offered to help you pay it. After declining several times, you eventually accepted; on the condition that it would be a loan.

For you, a full time student with a part time job as a waitress, it was a lot of money and you were grateful for his help. For Marcus, a professional athlete with a ridiculous amount of money, it was nothing. For his mom however, it was proof that you were only with Marcus for his money.

Since then your relationship with Marcus had evolved significantly, and you had even moved into his apartment. Still, no matter how serious the two of you became - his mother never warmed up to you.

"I'll be honest with you, Melanie," you spoke up - trying to save whatever dignity you had left. "I love your son, and I never quite understood why you dislike me so much. I don't want your money, but I also don't want to be the reason why Marcus has to choose between me and his family. Family means the world to him. So you win; I'll leave."

And that's exactly what you did. Rushing back to your shared place, tears brewing in your eyes, you quickly packed up your belongings. It took some time, and you prayed you would finish before Marcus came home from training. You knew that if you saw him you wouldn't be able to leave. He would ask why you were sad, and when you would tell him, he would be furious - and he would choose you over his family. But he shouldn't have to choose.

You then travelled to the train station and jumped on the first train back home to London - back to the comfort of your family. Only when you went to bed that night, laying in your childhood room, did you allow yourself to cry.

The next month was hard for you, but even harder for Marcus. He thought things were great between the two of you; the ring he had been carrying around in his pockets was proof of that. But then you had just left him, no explanation, not even a goodbye.

He thought about the day you left daily, picking it apart and analyzing it - trying to find a reason for why you left. But he couldn't think of anything. You had eaten take away and watched movies the night before. He had woken up and gotten ready for practice in the morning, just like he did every day. You had kissed goodbye, talking about what you would eat for dinner when he came back. Nothing out of the ordinary.

His mother visited him nearly daily, comforting her son as he cried over you for hours. It pained her to do so, and as the days went by she started realizing her own mistake. It was clear to her now that your relationship had more depth that she had thought. The final drop was when she, after a month, learned that Marcus was going to propose. She knew she had to make things right.

"Listen, Marcus, I got to tell you something, and you're not going to like what I have to say."

It was a regular Wednesday evening, about a month after your breakup with Marcus. You were sitting inside, watching some baking competition on the telly, and eating chocolate - feeling pretty sorry for yourself.

Your parents had gone out for dinner, whilst you refused to join, so when the doorbell rang you felt confused.

Opening the door you were met by Marcus standing outside while holding up a diamond ring. "Marry me?"

"What?" You couldn't believe what was happening. Only seconds ago you never thought you would see Marcus again, and here he was - proposing to you?

"My mom told me everything, Y/N, and I'm so furious with her. At first I was angry at you too for just walking away, I still kind of am, but I had a lot of time to think while traveling here; and I realized that I love you so so much and I want to marry you-"

You interrupted him with a deep kiss, wrapping your arms around him.

"Yes, I'll marry you!"

[ourreferences02]

16 Days of Mafia - Day Fourteen

16 Days of Mafia - Day Fourteen - February 17th, 2017

Lyric Breakdowns and Relating Them to RichardxWed. 

(Every verse in italics are just repeated, ignore them.)

Colors by Halsey.

“Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so You said your mother only smiled on her tv show You’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope I hope you make it to the day you’re twenty-eight years old”

This verse can be applied to Richard without changing any lyrics. He has a little brother, Calum, who is usually jealous of Richard and blames that on Richard. Richard’s mother, Marissa, was a superstar. She was portrayed as a happy young singer surrounded by celebrities. It only makes sense that she was ‘happy’ and smiled back then. But now? That’s funny. The next lyric is a little far fetched because Richard only did drugs once, and didn’t rely on them. However, the next lyric applies well, because Richard is only 15 and has already died twice.

“You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise You’re spilling like an overflowing sink You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece And now I'm tearing through the pages and the ink”

See, this verse makes me have very... odd thoughts. I can’t think of anyone who is ‘dripping’ or ‘spilling’ so we may have to do a really bad lyric change. Actually, we could think into it further. Dripping like a saturated sunrise. A sunrise could symbolize hope because the night is dark and full of terrors, a sunrise may be a sign of hope, peace, happiness, etc. The word ‘dripping’ could be used to describe the hopeful aura coming off of the person. The next lyric strikes me as the exact opposite. It makes me think of someone who cries often, eyes like a leaky faucet. “You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece,” that lyric could describe literally anyone to be perfectly honest. “And now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink,” this could mean the person narrating is breaking through the other’s negative emotions, diving in head first, ignoring any warnings.

Now, who would this be sung about? Well, we can eliminate you and me because no one would waste time singing about us. We can eliminate Richard because he isn’t that damaged. Calum? No, he’s neglected. Wednesday? The only person who would sing to her like this would be Richard, and I doubt he would say those lyrics. Alessia? No, I can’t see it. Now, Leia does have the ‘saturated sunrise’ piece, but no one is aware of the ‘overflowing sink.’ I’ve come to a conclusion. This verse has to apply to either Theo or Bella, and whoever it applies to better, the other would be the narrator.

“Everything is blue His pills, his hands, his jeans And now I'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue”

Yeah... this is begging for a lyric change. There will be no sugar daddies in this roleplay. I guess. So, if everything is blue, we need to change the lyrics to apply to someone! Personally, I think if I change them for a specific person this will work better. So when you think blue, you think sadness, right? Well, who experiences sadness in the roleplay. EVERYONE. So we’re going to have to go deeper into this. Halsey gives three examples of things that are blue, so we need to come up with three for the person this is being sung to. Richard likes to wear dark blues, that’s a shitty example. Wednesday?  She cries? Tears are blue? They really aren’t but that’s beside the point. Calum and Alessia have no reasons, leaving Theo, Leia, and Bella. Theo has bright blue eyes, he cries so there’d be tears, I don’t know what other examples there are. Leia loves the color blue and dresses in it, but who would sing this song to her if no one knows how she ever feels? Bella doesn’t wear blue, so she would also only have the tear example. Who wins? Theo.

Instead of “His pills, his hands, his jeans,” the new lyric will be “His tears, his eyes, his jeans.” Yes, I’m aware it sounds bad.

The next lyric is pretty simple. This has to be Bella talking about Theo and how they are both struggling with their sexuality.The ‘colors’ are the imprints he’s leaving on her because she looks up to him. She’s pulling at the seams because she herself is figuring out who she is, although I’m not disclosing who she is just yet. “And it’s blue,” what is it? In my opinion, in this situation, it could be their relationship with one another. It’s not a shit relationship, that’s not why it’s blue. But going back to the start, their bond began sitting on a roof in the rain. What color is the rain? It’s not blue, but if you were to portray it as a color you’d most likely make it blue. Not only that, but they have come closer together through ‘blue’ circumstances.

“Everything is grey His hair, his smoke, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don’t know what it means And he's blue And he's blue”

Once again, this requires a lyric change. No one has gray hair or smokes. The dreams? Well, that could apply to multiple characters. First, let’s do the lyric change. Instead of ‘hair,’ we could go with heart, and instead of ‘smoke,’ we could go with hopes. So it’d be “his/her heart, his/her hopes, his/her dreams.” 

“And now he’s so devoid of color he don’t know what it means,” could mean that this person hasn’t felt happiness in so long they are no longer familiar with it.

The following lyrics could be unisex by either changing ‘he’ to ‘she’ or using the word ‘he’ as Man, humans. I believe this song would best fit Marissa, Sofia, Theo, Bella, Alessia, and maybe some others.

“You were a vision in the morning when the light came through I know I’ve only felt religion when I've lied with you You said you’ll never be forgiven till your boys are too And I’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you”

See, this verse is just there. I don’t know how to change it to fit anyone specifically or make sense whatsoever. No one has had sex. No one has two boy children that would be sung to. No one is fucking a different person from the one they love. The first lyric is the only one that makes sense, to be honest. We could always change ‘lied’ to ‘been,’ but I don’t know how to replace ‘boys.’ No one has really done anything super wrong, and who is protective so strongly over two people enough that I could replace them with ‘boys?’ Well, I guess this could also be about Theo because he’s protective over Wednesday, Bella, Alessia, and Leia. ‘Boys’ could be replaced with ‘girls,’ but then it sounds weird. Now the last line, there’s no way to not think about sex. So we’ll have to train our minds to think maybe something went wrong with the narrator and the person they’re singing about. Who do I think this verse fits the best? Theo. Again. The new lyrics would be “I know I’ve only felt religion when I’ve been with you, you said you’ll never be forgiven till your _ are too.”

Now, after reading it again and applying it to Theo, it strikes me as another Theo and Bella verse. What is a major issue concerning people of the LGBT community? Religion, acceptance, heaven or hell? At the moment, Theo and Bella are both gay, or they call themselves gay. If Bella is the narrator again, it makes sense that she would feel ‘religion’ when she’s with Theo. When she’s around him she gets that sense of acceptance. Not to mention they are in the same boat, and she thinks he’s the only one who knows about her confusion with her sexuality. “You said you’ll never be forgiven till your boys are too,” the ‘boys’ could be referring to other people from the LGBT community. Maybe they’re talking about how they’ll never be accepted into heaven until God allows gays from past generations into heaven, or until he invites people of the current generations. Now, I’m not saying either of them believes in religion because after breaking this verse down to fit my needs, it’s more about the LGBT community in general, not just Theo/Bella.

You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise You’re spilling like an overflowing sink You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece And now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink

Everything is blue His pills, his hands, his jeans And now I’m covered in the colors Pull apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue

Everything is grey His hair, his smoke, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don’t know what it means And he's blue And he's blue

“You were red, and you liked me because I was blue But you touched me, and suddenly I was a lilac sky Then you decided purple just wasn't for you”

This doesn’t need to be broken down. Clearly, there was an attraction. And then there was none at all. Now, who does this apply to? Everyone who’s ever been rejected.

Everything is blue

His pills, his hands, his jeans And now I'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue

Everything is grey His hair, his smoke, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don't know what it means And he's blue And he's blue

Now, for the final lyrics. I’m aware they weren’t changed much but know you can relate the song to people. 

Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so You said your mother only smiled on her tv show You’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope I hope you make it to the day you’re twenty-eight years old

You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise You’re spilling like an overflowing sink You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece And now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink

Everything is blue His tears, his eyes, his jeans And now I'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue

Everything is grey His heart, his hopes, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don’t know what it means And he's blue And he's blue

You were a vision in the morning when the light came through I know I’ve only felt religion when I've been with you You said you’ll never be forgiven till your boys are too And I’m still waking every morning but it’s not with you

You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise You’re spilling like an overflowing sink You’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece And now I’m tearing through the pages and the ink

Everything is blue His tears, his eyes, his jeans And now I’m covered in the colors pull apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue

Everything is grey His heart, his hopes, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don’t know what it means And he's blue And he's blue

You were red, and you liked me because I was blue But you touched me, and suddenly I was a lilac sky Then you decided purple just wasn't for you

Everything is blue His tears, his eyes, his jeans And now I'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams And it's blue And it's blue

Everything is grey His heart, his hopes, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don't know what it means And he's blue And he's blue