#I've been writing instead of sleeping

[hikarry]

"You have no idea," Crowley whispers, leaning in closer still, his lips hovering just above the angel's. "Once I have you all to myself, I'll show you such sinful things, you'll forget you were ever an angel…"

I am sick, I am depressed and my adhd is acting up, therefore all claims that I might be projecting onto Crowley are all irrelevant

[howdoyousleep3]

never in my life have i wanted a Daddy more than i do rn 😭

[nyctoheart]

deleted over 1k videos from my watch later today, most were video about our world or the internet going to shit. Going to replace them with nature and world history documentaries and videos on self improvement. because I cant fucking take it anymoreeee

[suddencolds]

~

[yujeong]

potential smut prompt: (as sexual or nonsexual as you like) vegaspete eating food off of each other. it's on brand, c'mon ;)

Hello anon! Again, apologies for the delay in answering this ask, as well as answering the two you sent me backwards, but I was a bit stuck on this one: the idea you gave me is one of my favourites actually, but it was difficult to... express in writing form (the mental images it caused me were very vivid for some reason though lmao). I hope you enjoy this very weird concept and snippet ❤️ I'm sorry if it isn't exactly what you meant when you sent it to me. CW: handjob, unadvised use of ice cream -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was something that should be giving Vegas joy. Instead, it only brought him irritation. "Why do you always eat Macau's leftovers?" The sun was almost hidden, casting hues of orange and red on their exposed bodies. The temperature was high but a gentle wind was blowing, a pleasant change to the previous days spent at Pete's hometown. Pete licked the ice cream twice before replying. "Why not? I like this flavor." "You're not his fucking dog!" Vegas had clearly been sitting on the wooden dock for too long; that must be the reason he was acting like a child right now. Pete grew rigid before he relaxed again next to him, continuing to eat his treat seemingly without care, letting it melt all over his fingers. "You made a mess of yourself," Vegas said then, grabbing Pete's wrist to bring the cone closer to his mouth. He licked Pete's index finger clean in a hurry, before the drop of vanilla could go lower, and that was when he realized the change. He felt Pete suck in a shallow breath before he heard it. He lifted his gaze to see Pete's eyes focused on him, his lips parted, his pupils dilated. He was too easy to read sometimes. Vegas couldn't help but smirk as he continued; he moved on to Pete's middle finger, then his ring finger, then his pinky, slowly, interchanging between using his lips and his tongue, savoring the taste of sugar and Pete's skin, staring at Pete's expression crumbling under his desire the whole time. The desire for more. Vegas would never deny him. With his right hand being free, he swiftly grabbed Pete's dick under his swimsuit, bathing in the delight of finding him half-hard already. "Vegas..." "The sun is almost down. We won't be seen." It wasn't a certainty and both of them knew it, but Vegas didn't really care. All that was important right now was giving Pete what he craved. He could have jerked Pete off dry just fine - they'd done that before plenty of times - but something about that ice cream melting all over Pete was tantalizing. It made Vegas want it to cover more than just Pete's hand. "Let's use some of that," he told Pete who blinked in confusion, whose mouth opened even more when he figured out what Vegas was doing with his palm, before he shoved it under his swimsuit again. Pete came quickly after a couple of strokes, panting and smiling and laughing at Vegas who was starting to feel a little gross with the mess he'd made. "It's your fault for being a clumsy eater," Vegas said, unable to drop his own smile. He was feeling good. His body hadn't betrayed him yet; the beach was right there for them to clean themselves up later if they wanted to. For now, he was content kissing Pete breathless as he dropped the rest of the ice cream and became very eager to return the favor.

[transingthoseformers]

SG DJD Laywers yess!

Now I'm gonna remind you, this idea came about at two am. And also all i know about the legal process is from us-gov/history classes and soap opera-esque books/shows. So basically nothing.

[not-poignant]

things I would like to be doing: writing

things I am actually doing: doing an intensive 2-Day Gradual Separation + Home Alone protocol with a 9 week old puppy

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

haven't written a single word in either of our AUs today because of travel prep + so so so sleepy and I'm trying to be so brave about it but I miss my blorbos. When will our blorbo time come back from the war (end of year festivities)

[the-oc-king]

I'm doomed lmao

[friendofthecrows]

Accidentally stayed up all night and I wasn't even writing T-T going to lose it

[georgieluz]

guess who started 4 new fics whilst they were away

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.

I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.

There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.

That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.

25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.

Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.

It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.

I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like

I dunno

Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.

I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?

All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.

I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.

[blue-lollipops-and-ice-clouds]

Just wrote 3k words for a new fic idea with the motto "fill the sandbox, fill the sandbox, fill the sandbox" stuck in my head.

[suddencolds]

i've def heard of people having to be in the right headspace to write like, v thirsty/self-indulgent snz content, but somehow i find it equally difficult to be in the right headspace to write angst

[novelconcepts]

i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

[wolpatinga]