#I've been thinking about it nonstop since yesterday

[yary-t]

#dream only uses his money for 2 things: eccentric art supplies and clothes#he's painting with gold leaf while drinking franzia straight from the box etc#he also buys extremely expensive clothes bc he hates shitty fabric#desire is constantly teasing him like 'how are you wearing balenciaga living in a hovel'

(cuubism's tags)

just read your tax benefita marriage thing and had this sudden image of the older endless (destiny and death and maybe destruction) pulling dream as ide to ask if he at least got a prenup & dream, in all his infinite wisdom, going 'what's a prenup?'

Dream: well frankly I think it's fine if Hob gets half my inheritance, he deserves it :)

The rest of the endless: 😶

Death: dream you're going to be paying alimony for the rest of your life

Dream: first of all, we're not getting divorced, so jot that down. Secondly (*slurping instant ramen out of a cup while sitting on the falling apart couch he and hob definitely picked up on the side of the road) I'm clearly not using it.

-

Hob after he finds out: just so you know, if we ever get divorced I AM taking you for all your worth in court

Dream: I'll sign whatever you want idc

Hob: ....

Dream: also we're not getting divorced :) because you love me

Hob: yeah unfortunately I do

Dream: (was joking) what.

[puckpocketed]

making gifs is a character-building exercise in that it gives u a lot of weird complexes and u form new grudges against people you dont know like i think im a worse person rn because i AM wishing evils and crimes and horrible wounds on every socmed intern/editor who puts flickering graphics and lights in their high-res videos BUT! i also think i now have a deep appreciation and fear for people who make really beautiful gifs . i find myself admiring recolouring techniques and wondering if its appropriate to message someone and ask what curves/filters they used. <3

[cozy-cinnamon-roll]

A Princess' Guide to Interrogating a Radio Demon

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing: Ler!Charlie, Lee!Alastor (strictly platonic)

Content/Trigger Warnings: tickling, interrogation (in the most playful sense). If there are any trigger warnings you'd like me to add in the future (and/or to this fic), PLEASE let me know! I am always happy to oblige.

This is a ticklefic! If that's not your cup of tea, kindly move along.

This is my first fic for Hazbin Hotel, so any feedback would be welcomed and deeply appreciated! (also, let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future work - I'm quite sure this'll be FAR from my last fic for this fandom hehe)

Hope you enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Ever since he'd discovered glam metal, Angel has been blasting it nonstop from his room.

Unfortunately, his room happens to be directly beneath Alastor's... and the insulation in the hotel's walls leaves an awful lot to be desired. The Radio Demon's eye had been in a constant twitch for three days by the time he'd finally had enough.

"Alastor? Have you seen Angel's speakers?"

--------------------------------------------------------------

When Charlie appears in his doorway, the demon in question is sitting comfortably on his couch, sipping a mug of black coffee and reading a newspaper (though Charlie isn't sure how he acquired it - the local paper has been out of print for weeks).

"No. But I've certainly had the displeasure of hearing them."

"They've gone missing. Do you have any idea where they might be?"

"Far away, I hope."

Charlie rolls her eyes and leaves to go consult the other guests. The deer takes a long draw from his mug.

--------------------------------------------------------------

To Alastor's slight irritation, he only enjoys a few minutes of peace before the princess' voice echoes from the hall again.

"Oooh, Al...." Charlie sings.

"What is it, my dear?" the Radio Demon sings back absently.

"Nifty says she saw you with Angel's speakers yesterday."

"Did she?" He flips a page of his newspaper.

"Look, all I need to know is where you put them."

Long pause. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."

"Alastor."

"Whaaat?" Though his eyes haven't left the page, his grin has widened slightly. "You think I'm lying?"

"You're always lying. That's your thing."

"...Touché."

Charlie perches on the sofa beside him.

"Are you gonna tell me where it is or not?"

"Fine. I'll be completely honest with you."

She perks up.

"I would honestly die a second death before subjecting myself to one more note of that infernal garbage."

Alastor's eyes flick up from his paper for the briefest of seconds, just to watch the bubbly princess' face fall into a delightfully exasperated scowl.

"You can't steal someone's stuff just because it annoys you!"

"On the contrary. That's exactly what I did."

Charlie narrows her eyes. "Alastor. You tell me where Angel's speakers are or else."

Alastor chuckles in spite of himself - Charlie's attempts to be intimidating never fail to amuse him.

"What's so funny about that?"

"My dear, I say this with the utmost respect and admiration for your many talents: there's a reason I tend to be the one called upon to scare off demonic threats."

Charlie huffs and crosses her arms. "Just because you're creepier and... more sadistic than me, doesn't mean I don't have ways of making you talk."

"Oh?" Alastor arches a skeptical eyebrow at his paper.

"So you better watch your step, Mister."

"Hmm. You make a compelling case." He flips another page. "Maybe I should tell you where Angel's poor excuse for music is."

Charlie brightens. "Really?"

"No."

The princess deflates.

He's right, of course: even if Charlie figures out a way to make herself legitimately threatening to the Radio Demon... he's the fucking Radio Demon. She may be the Princess of Hell, but she doesn't want to have to rebuild the hotel from rubble all over again.

The two sit in impassive silence for a few minutes - Charlie glaring at Alastor, Alastor staring stubbornly at his paper - until she finally stifles a sigh and slouches against the cushions. He's enjoying this, she just knows it. Sitting there with that stupid grin. He's probably been laughing to himself all night, imagining poor Angel waking up and finding his most prized possession missing.

She finds herself wishing she could make the old deer laugh himself sick sometime, just to teach him a lesson.

...Which is a horrible thought! Charlie's eyes widen, her brow furrowing in self-disgust. She could never bring herself to hurt Alastor, even via laughter.

In fact, she quite likes his laugh - it's a little maniacal, sure, and certainly hard to truly enjoy amid the gory contexts that typically trigger it. But if she knew a way to make him laugh at something other than another person's expense, she'd probably do it all the time... it's just that the things that make him laugh also tend to make Charlie nauseous.

Once again, the princess finds herself completely baffled by her own subjects. How one could be so tickled by anything that goes on down here - the pain, the violence, the gore...

Charlie tilts her head. She may have just gotten an idea.

--------------------------------------------------------------

If Alastor had happened to cast a quick glance down the couch, the smile creeping across Charlie's face would've been enough to give him real pause.

But since he is instead stubbornly focused on his paper, he is completely unprepared for the fingers that suddenly begin crawling oh-so-gently up his side.

To her initial disappointment, Charlie finds at least three layers of fabric dampening her touch, and aside from a subtle flinch at first contact, Alastor himself remains perfectly still.

But then a low buzz of radio static swells around them. As she probes up his ribs, she can hear a soft crinkle of paper as his grip tightens.

"Charlie..." His voice is oddly clipped.

"Mm?" Charlie takes one glance at his face, and her smile deepens - even Alastor's signature grin can't mask the effect. He's still technically staring at the paper, but his eyes have gone wide and blank. He opens his mouth to continue just as her fingers reach his armpit - and his jaw quickly clamps shut. It's clearly taking everything in him not to squirm.

"Got something to say, Al?" She starts pinching back down his ribcage.

"Mmph!" The giggles start in his chest, bubbling up and fighting to escape through clenched teeth. Soon his shoulders are shaking with the effort of holding them in.

"...Maybe about the location of a certain object?"

No response. The radio demon just curls forward a little, hiding his face in his paper.

Taking advantage of this new posture, Charlie slips her other arm around behind him, and gives a good pinch to both sides of his slender waist.

The demon straightens right back up with an audible gasp and tiny squeak of surprise (that he quickly tries to cover with a cough).

"Charlie! Are you s-seriously trying to-"

"Are you seriously ticklish?"

"No!"

In response she delivers another series of pinches to the same spot. His posture crumples again, until finally he loses his grip on his paper and twists to face her.

"No?" she giggles. And squeezes him again.

"Stop that!" He fumbles at her fingers, trying to pry them off his sides.

Instead Charlie swaps her hands, wrapping her fingers around his waist with both thumbs resting lightly on his stomach... and begins digging them right under his lower ribs.

That finally does it. He flinches back with a little snort, followed by soft but utterly helpless giggles pressed shyly into his hands.

"Awww!" Charlie coos.

"Keheh- f-fuckin'- heheh! - quiet!" His voice cracks amusingly on the last word.

There are about fifteen different things Charlie is dying to say as Alastor goes to pieces with laughter, but she can't think of anything that wouldn't risk embarrassing the poor guy - and humiliating him is the last thing she wants to do. The fact that Alastor hasn't instantly dissolved into shadows (or cursed her across the room) hasn't been lost on the princess; she is NOT about to jeopardize this moment by making him uncomfortable enough to do so.

That said, she is conducting an interrogation here.

"What was that about not being ticklish?"

His clutching at her wrists becomes more frantic. "Don't-!"

Alastor hyperventilates a couple times, trying to get ahold of himself - but then she continues squeezing down the sides of his belly, and he can only collapse into even worse laughter.

"I think I know just how to get you to talk..."

"Nohoho- ahagh, Charlie! Shihihit!"

Charlie shifts onto her knees for better leverage, gives him a gentle push backward, and pins him (surprisingly easily) against the couch. Her snaggle-toothed grin looms over him...

For a split-second, Alastor gets a flash of what his victims must've seen moments before they debuted on his show.

But he's pretty sure this isn't quite how they felt about it. He's already shaking with anticipatory giggles, grinning back at her wider than ever. And the giddy panic behind his eyes quickly forms an unlikely union with defiance.

"Do your worst, my dear."

--------------------------------------------------------------

To be continued... pt. II is already in the works, so stay tuned!!

Until next time - hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! 💕

💜 - Cozy

[terriblesoup]

The reality of Creative Burnout

It's been a while since I've last written anything, and it's been bothering me so when you read this and you picture me as a karen holding her 10 am red wine and with a child-hating fueled anger complaining about the bird noise in her backyard, then you've done me justice that's exactly how I feel and look.

1. Understanding creative burnout: More than just exhaustion

When we talk about burnout in general, it is mostly a consequence of overwhelming tasks on a monotonous routine basis which causes fatigue that is both emotional and physical. Creative burnout is more tied to the emotional and intellectual demands of an artist. It deeply affects the ability to generate new ideas or feeling any joy in one's craft.

And if you've been there,-and I am most certain you have been- you know it's not just being a little tired or feeling like taking a long nap. It’s that special kind of exhaustion where your brain feels like a dried-out sponge someone left in the sun for three weeks.

And when your ideas evaporate faster than your morning coffee and every attempt to create something feels like pulling your own teeth, your brain has never been this loud and blank at the same time. You know it's time to put down your pen and breathe because there's more to it than you being an art failure ( you're not).

And I'll tell you why it's happening to you and not others: because creative work is like putting your soul on display, and when it doesn’t come out perfect, it feels personal. Add to that deadlines, the pressure to innovate, and the charming little voice of self-doubt, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for burnout stew. Plus, let’s be real—most of us work alone. There’s no office buddy to say, “Hey, it’s fine, go take a walk.” Nope, it’s just you and the void, staring each other down.

2. The triggers of creative burnout: Pressure, Perfectionism, and Pace

It doesn’t happen because you’re lazy, unmotivated, or bad at your job. It happens because the world-or your own brain-has decided you need to function like a creativity vending machine. Insert a deadline, press a button, and voilà: a masterpiece pops out. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work like that.

If you've hit our common wall, it's probably because of one or all the three usually culprits :

High expectations:

The weight of expectations is crushing, especially when you’re the one piling it on yourself.

“Just be better than last time,” you think. Great. Now every project feels like a fight to prove your worth, to everyone, including yourself. Because apparently, creating something good isn’t enough anymore-it has to be perfect. No pressure, though <3.

Tight deadlines (because,duh, genius happens overnight, wait what do you mean you can't? You're fired)

There’s nothing like a deadline to drain the soul out of your work. The clock starts ticking, and suddenly you’re not making art; you’re cranking out products. Deadlines kill spontaneity. They don’t care if you’re inspired or running on fumes.

Let’s be real,when was the last time a creative deadline felt reasonable? It’s always,“Can you have this by yesterday?” Forget brilliance. You’re lucky if you can slap something together that doesn’t embarrass you.

Overworking (this is on you):

“I’ll stop after this one thing.” you won’t! One more thing turns into an all-nighter, which turns into a month of over-caffeinated tunnel vision. The grind never ends because we’ve convinced ourselves that rest is a luxury instead of a necessity.

Working nonstop doesn’t make you a genius. It makes you tired. But sure, keep skipping meals, ignoring friends, and convincing yourself that burnout is just “part of the process.” That always ends well.

3. How burnout affects the creative process: Loss of inspiration and drive

For writers, burnout often looks like the dreaded block. You stare at the page, but the words don’t come. Your once-flowing ideas now feel like trying to pull water from a stone. Artists might find themselves detached from their work, going through the motions with no emotional connection to the piece. Musicians might start to dread performing, feeling overwhelmed by anxiety instead of joy. Whatever the medium, the result is the same: you feel stuck, uninspired, and utterly out of sync with your craft.

The first wave of burnout is frustration. You know you’re capable of more. You remember what it felt like to be in the zone, to create something that lit you up inside. But now, every attempt feels like wading through molasses. The ideas don’t come, or worse, they feel hollow and forced. And when your work doesn’t meet your own standards, the frustration multiplies.

Oh look over there! It's the heaping side of guilt getting closer. You feel like a failure because you’re not creating-or not creating enough-and the shame can be paralyzing. What’s worse is knowing that your creative block isn’t from a lack of talent or skill but sheer exhaustion. You’re stuck in a loop: can’t create because you’re burned out, and can’t shake the burnout because you feel too guilty to rest.

Then it messes with your relationship to your work. You might start to resent the thing you once loved because now it feels like an obligation. Every project feels like a chore, and the joy that once fueled your creativity is nowhere to be found.

The final gut punch of burnout is the loss of drive. That innate desire to create, to express yourself, to bring something new into the world-it’s gone. Or at least, it’s hiding under a mountain of fatigue, frustration, and guilt. Without that drive, even the idea of creating can feel overwhelming.

But here’s the thing: burnout isn’t permanent. It’s a signal-not that you’re broken, but that you’ve been running too hard for too long. The only way back is through rest, reflection, and reminding yourself why you started in the first place. Creativity isn’t something you can force, and burnout isn’t something you can hustle your way out of. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is stop.

4. Breaking the cycle: coping mechanisms for recovering from burnout

Burnout recovery isn’t a sprint-it’s a messy, sometimes uncomfortable process. But it’s possible.

Take intentional breaks

No no, not doom-scrolling on your phone or calling it “relaxation” while secretly stressing about unfinished projects. I’m talking real breaks, time spent doing things that genuinely recharge you. Go for a walk, binge that guilty pleasure show without shame, or sit outside and stare at trees like you’re auditioning for a meditation app. The point is to stop trying to be productive for a little while.

Reconnect with your passion

Burnout tends to make your creative passion feel like a chore. To fix that, strip away all the pressure. Draw just for fun. Write nonsense that no one will ever see. Try something new and low-stakes, like pottery or finger painting (yes, finger painting, I like doing makeup to recharge, it requires no thinking). Remember why you started creating in the first place, back when it wasn’t about deadlines or expectations.

Set boundaries like your life depends on It

Because, honestly? It kind of does. Start saying “no” to things that drain you-unreasonable clients, soul-sucking projects, or your own impossible standards. Tell people (and yourself) that your time and energy are finite resources. It’s not selfish; it’s survival.

Seek professional help

Sometimes, burnout runs deeper than “needing a break.” If you’re overwhelmed by guilt, anxiety, or hopelessness, a therapist can help you sort through the emotional mess and build healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy isn’t a last resort; it’s a tool for getting your creative spark back without setting yourself on fire in the process.

Practice self-compassion

This is the hardest one because we’re our own worst critics. But here’s the truth: you’re allowed to step back. You’re allowed to rest. You don’t have to earn your worth through endless creation. Burnout isn’t a personal failure-it’s a sign that you’ve been pushing too hard for too long. Treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a struggling friend ( and I knoooowww y'all have a problem practicing your own advice, I just know.)

Redefine success

Let go of the idea that you need to be constantly producing to be “successful.” Your worth isn’t tied to how much you create or how perfect it is. Focus on the journey, not the output. Celebrate the small wins, even if they’re as simple as writing one paragraph or sketching a single line( took me two weeks to write this blog btw, I am taking that small win and winning it all over the place).

5. The myths of creative burnout: Overcoming society’s expectations of “nonstop productivity”

Real creatives never run out of ideas

Ever heard someone say, “If you’re a real writer/painter/musician, the ideas will always flow”? Yeah, no. Creativity isn’t a bottomless well; it’s more like a battery that drains with use. And guess what? Batteries need to be recharged. Running out of ideas isn’t a sign you’re a fraud—it’s a sign you’re human. Even the greats had dry spells (Vincent van Gogh painted only about 900 masterpieces; what a slacker, right?).

Productivity equals success

Our society worships the grind. If you’re not constantly producing, you’re seen as lazy or unmotivated. Churning out work nonstop doesn’t guarantee quality-or fulfillment. It guarantees exhaustion. Creativity thrives on space, experimentation, and, yes, sometimes doing absolutely nothing. Success isn’t about how much you produce; it’s about creating something meaningful, even if it takes time.

Burnout means you’re weak

Feeling burnt out doesn’t mean you lack resilience or passion. It means you’ve been pushed (or pushed yourself) too far. Society likes to frame burnout as a personal failure, but it’s often the result of external pressures.

6. Case studies of famous creatives who Struggled with Burnout (because I know you like comparing yourselves to celebrities level of accomplishments)

- Sylvia Plath: The weight of perfectionism

Sylvia Plath was a literary genius, but her pursuit of perfection left her emotionally drained. Known for her meticulous writing process, she placed immense pressure on herself to produce work of extraordinary quality. The weight of expectations-both external and internal-fueled her creativity but also contributed to her burnout.

-Vincent van Gogh: Isolation and emotional strain

Van Gogh’s artistry was inseparable from his emotional vulnerability. Living in near poverty and estranged from much of society, he worked obsessively, creating over 2,000 artworks in a decade. His intense drive often led to physical and mental collapse, and his letters to his brother, Theo, reveal his feelings of inadequacy and despair.

- Virginia Woolf: The strain of genius

Virginia Woolf balanced brilliance with fragility. Her modernist works, like Mrs. Dalloway and To the Lighthouse, revolutionized storytelling, but the intense effort to break traditional literary molds took a toll. She struggled with depressive episodes exacerbated by creative pressure and societal constraints placed on women writers of her era.

These geniuses remind us that brilliance often comes at a cost when unbalanced by rest or self-care. They teach us the importance of acknowledging limits, seeking support ( for the love of God and everything good, please do), and that success isn’t about sacrificing yourself for art; it’s about sustaining a process that brings joy and meaning.

7. Burnout as a catalyst for growth: turning struggles into strength

Our beast (I wonder if there's a hot drawing of the burnout beast somewhere on the internet) strips everything down to the bare essentials. It asks uncomfortable but necessary questions:

“Why am I doing this?”

“What do I really want to create?”

“Am I living my life, or just existing for my work?”

And I know these questions can feel overwhelming, but they’re also the foundation for growth. Many creatives emerge from burnout with a clearer sense of purpose, focusing on what truly matters instead of chasing every expectation or opportunity.

It can also add depth to your work. The frustration, exhaustion, and rebuilding process give you stories to tell, emotions to convey, and empathy for others who struggle. In a way, burnout teaches you not only how to survive but how to thrive (slay...?).

Final thought:

So, yeah, burnout sucks. It's like that awful, ugly detox you didn't sign up for but apparently needed. But hey, if you're lucky enough to survive it, maybe you'll come out the other side a little more self-aware, with healthier boundaries, and maybe even a fresh perspective on what it means to create. Or, you know, you'll just figure out how to keep the chaos at bay long enough to finish that project you’ve been avoiding. Either way, just remember: it's totally fine to take a step back-because if you burn yourself out enough, you'll eventually be forced to. And, funnily enough, that's when you might just make your best stuff.

I've made this blog because I wanted to talk about censorship in political aspects and all that but I've never felt a heavier subject than it, I do not understand why I couldn't do it. I still can't find myself writing about it even though I've already planned the key points and all that baggage. Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed this "light-hearted" subject.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I fake corrupted/hid the files for a TV show on my plex server because my SIL is obsessed with it and uses it as babysitting?

💙 to find later

Context: I (29f) have a plex media server where I have all of my movies, TV shows, audiobooks etc., and also grant access to friends and family (think Netflix but not paid/generally better). As admin of the Plex server, I can see every connected user's activity, what they watch how long they watched it, all that stuff, and I keep that tab open so that I can monitor it for unauthorized access (plus I like the little dopamine hit from seeing my stats/how much media I've consumed lol).

My SIL (29F) has two kiddos (11moM, 6M), that she only has a couple of days a week, as her and my husband's brother are going through a seperation/divorce. Even before the seperation, she'd always been kind of inattentive, not especially interested in the kids and hanging out with them. Not abusive or neglectful, just. Not that keen on actually spending time with them.

I added a kids show for my nephews-Bluey. It's a cute show, why not. Since I've added it, SIL's watch history says she has watched the complete series very nearly every day. I'm talking 5:30am til 11pm. Nonstop. Well, whatever, she's entitled to spend her time however.

Yesterday, I had some time to play with my nephew at his grandparents' house. At some point we ended up talking about Bluey, he kinda scrunches his face up, looks at me, and says "I don't like Bluey. It's ALWAYS on. Means so I can't watch anything I want to watch. Bluey is my enemy now."

So I think about it, look back at the watch history, and it corresponds to when she usually has the kids. I don't have kids and I don't know her life, but electric babysitting sits poorly with me.

I have the ability to restrict access to some folders to users, without them knowing they've lost access. And the nature of illegal file acquisition is that sometimes where you originally downloaded files from just disappear. It'd be completely plausible if I said I couldn't find a download, and she would not know how to look for them herself

So, WIBTA if I restricted access?

What are these acronyms?

[chippedshake]

Am I just fixing it just to break it?

Sodapop curses quietly as he gets up from the couch again. He could swear it hasn't been five minutes since he last stopped them from fighting, but they're at it again and now he has to talk them down. Again.

It's something stupid, for a change. Ponyboy hasn't done his homework for tomorrow and now he's peppering Darry with questions about the properties of... something.

"It was assigned last Friday, Pony, I don’t get why you're doing it now."

"Because I forgot! And your griping isn't helping any, it isn't gonna be done yesterday because you want it to be."

"But you can change your bad habits so it doesn't happen again. I swear, if I didn't see your report card, I'd think you just couldn't think."

"Can't you just lay off for once? Jesus, I just asked about what the octet rule was, it's not like I’m asking you to explain everything from scratch."

"No, I can't lay off, because if it was up to you, you'd singlehandedly ruin your whole future!"

Am I just hanging on, just so we can drown?

Is it even worth it, patching them up for them to just keep on fighting the next day? Is there any point to it? Or is he just pushing the same rock up the same hill every day only for gravity to beat him before he reaches the top?

Like the love we thought we found, no

When Darry had told them he was going to get custody over them, Soda had thought that it would bring them together. He never imagined sunshine and rainbows, but he thought they would become closer than they already were, have a bond forged in sweat and tears, not just blood.

But maybe it didn't count if the tears were cried alone and the sweat was just at work.

We're hoping that we don't just hit the ground

Every night, before he goes to sleep, Sodapop closes his eyes and prays that tomorrow will be different. He prays for his brothers to understand each other’s side, for them to finally listen to him, for them to finally see each other.

Because Soda may be stupid, but he's not delusional. He knows they won't last long like this, with fights every night about curfew and homework and dinner and textbooks. But there's no end in sight. How do you make someone see what they're desperately avoiding?

I've been pulling you close, but pushing me further

It takes him a couple months to realise he's lying to his brothers. He's pulling away, pretending like he's fine, like everything's fine, because he doesn't know any better.

It takes him a couple months to realise that his parents died too. That he's supposed to take time to grieve and get over their deaths on his own terms.

It takes him a couple months to realise that he doesn't even know himself anymore because he's been shoving his own feelings and thoughts down to make way for Darry and Ponyboy. Even when he's alone with Steve or Sandy, he doesn’t talk about his own feelings, only about Darry overworking and Ponyboy coming home late and the two of them fighting nonstop.

It takes him a couple months to realise why Sandy looks worried whenever they part ways and why Steve asks him how he is thirty times every time they meet up.

I've been holding it back, that I see you different

He still buys Pony a Pepsi whenever he comes to the DX and he still talks to Darry about the NFL, pretending like he knows (and cares) more than he really does. He still acts like he thinks they're his brothers, even though he can't help but hate them a bit for tearing him apart.

Sick of me remindin' you to love me like you say you do

"You going anywhere tonight, Pony?"

"Nope. Staying here."

There's no sound but the clinking of forks against plates.

"I'm going out with Sandy tonight, thanks for askin', Darry. Don't worry, I'll be back before it's too late, I know I gotta wake up early for work tomorrow," Soda says with a fake smile and faker cheer.

He's been trying telling the truth like it's a joke, lately, to see if it'll hit home somehow. Telling his brothers they're forgetting about him, that they aren't seeing him as an actual person anymore. "My day was good too, thanks for asking" and "since no one’s gonna ask anyway, lemme tell you about what happened to Steve today".

They aren't getting it and Soda's getting tired of having to remind them that he's their brother too, not just their middleman.

And I've been hurting myself to keep you from leaving

Sometimes, when Darry crosses a line, Sodapop can see Ponyboy's eyes dart around, calculating. He always starts with his backpack, then towards his room, his shoes, and then the door.

Darry never notices but Soda always does and that's how he knows he needs to intervene. Because if he doesn't say something to stop them, the argument will end with Ponyboy running out the door without even a coat on, which is the last thing they need right now.

So he'll always defend Ponyboy, even if he's wrong, because Darry would never leave but Ponyboy just might and he'll take a broken family held together by his own strength over two brothers who never speak.

I've been wonderin' whether we'll last the season

When Sodapop looks out the window one day and sees the snow melting, it feels like a miracle that he can still hear Ponyboy's steady breathing and Darry rummaging around the kitchen.

Wish we could've made this work

Five months later, Soda's running desperately because he can't make this work, he can't just be the glue that holds them together, because he couldn’t keep his parents there and he couldn’t keep Sandy there and he can't keep holding them together.

And, God, would he love to be able to say that he made it work. He would love to say that he found a way to make his brothers stop fighting, to make them remember that they love each other and don't need to argue about every little thing.

But he can't, because he's not enough and he never will be and sometimes he just wants to run away.

But now I know that I need more

"Golly, you two, it's bad enough having to listen to it, but when you start trying to get me to take sides... We're all we've got left. We ought to be able to stick together against everything. If we don't have each other, we don't have anything. If you don’t have anything, you end up like Dallas... and I don't mean dead, either. I mean the way he was before. And that's worse than dead. Please... don't fight anymore."

I need more

When Darry and Ponyboy listen to his little speech, he swears it's the first time they've really listened to him in eight months.

They tell him they'll do better, say they'll get along, that they won't wear him down anymore.

He tries his best to believe them and they race back home, laughing as they walk through the front door together.

[elijahvolkovfrfr]

Ever since yesterday

I have been nonstop thinking about the fact that I just have a boyfriend now?

Like wdym?

You like ME??

YOU(gorgeous beloved sweet caring entity, My literal moon and stars, The only person in so long i felt any actual attachment to, Someone i've talked about oh so much.) want to date ME(freak)????

And you just WANT to???

WDYM????

[yuseirra]

***onk spoilers!!!***

I think Kamiki may be trying to find something precious enough to trade with Ai's life, may it be his own or someone else's???

Coming to think of it, he met Ruby at the shrine (ch147) and something about a "wish" came up. The way he speaks with ruby, it seemed like he also had his own wish that he's put a lot of thoughts into and came to accept

Mephisto and Fatal both mention about wishes and wishing.

And those wishes have to do with wishing Ai back, are they not??

I'm sorry, I've been repeating the same idea in several posts now but I JUST remembered about that chapter. He's the one that brings the idea of gods back onto the table may it be brief. He talks like he knows about their nature, so he probably is aware of gods or their significance at least, that they actually ARE capable of doing supernatural things. However, Fatal and Mephisto also mention about wishes having failed to come true. That ALSO aligns with kamiki's attitude in that particular chapter saying that gods don't really give out answers and you have to come up with your own. Whatever he's up to, the gods might not have accepted it, or are even against it.

perhaps he's wished to bring Ai back but had been failing miserably, so he's becoming more and more reckless about it.

what he says there makes me wrap my head a little, it sounds like he's been where ruby's been. He might be talking about himself and trying to convince himself of his own resolve

He says he doesn't mind rotting away himself, but there's still something he has to do before that happens. I think that'd have to do with about a wish, he has a goal to fulfill.

I found the full lyric for Fatal(the new op) and it had lyrics like

あなたがいないと生いきていけない

眩まぶしさでこの身みを照てらして欲ほしい

あなたの愛あいがまだ足たらない

ただ一ひとつのアイに近ちかづきたい

I can't live without you

I want you to light up my body with your dazzling glare

I still lack your love

I want to get closer to the one and only Ai.

Aqua wants to get Ai's "revenge", he'd want to see Ai once more, yeah, but that isn't his goal, he doesn't work to meet her again. He plans to fulfill what Ai's really wanted by listening to what she's wanted to say

but the person in Mephisto (who is HUNGRY for Ai's affection) and Fatal actually WANTS to see Ai again, present tense.

あらゆる望のぞみの総すべてを叶かなえたら　ああ果はたせたら

あなたに会あいたい

If I could fulfill all my hopes, all my wishes, all my dreams, if I could make it all come true

I wish I could see you

But how IS this person going to make that happen?

I feel like finding someone that outshines Ai would have something to do with it, coming from how his reactions when he saw ruby having a chance to outshine Ai-

He feels happy about her possibility of her life having even more value than her.

He could just be being a proud dad there (I'm not taking that out of the possibility).. but you see where I'm trying to get at, right? He probably needs someone like that in order to fulfill his wish. Likely their life.

I think those lyrics from mephisto and fatal were there for a reason, those two songs are WAY too similar to each other in terms of the theme and the vibes they're giving. This speaker hasn't given up on the possibility of having Ai back, they talk like that is a thing that CAN happen, they keep.. talking towards them, even when the one they're talking to's already passed long ago. Look at me, You gave me time, Let me hear your voice.. stuff like that. That kind of attitude is more like Kamiki than Aqua. Kamiki talks about rotting away, he's never moved on from Ai's death, has he? It's like she's still alive for him?

Idk, I just really like those two songs. I have been repeating Fatal nonstop ever since I first listened to it yesterday and I can't get this thought out of my head. I'll keep thinking like this until I'm proven wrong, I guess o<-< I keep finding more stuff that may back it up and I can't stop...

[reshiram]

You mentioned that Seofon means a lot to you and I just felt the need to say that, yeah, same

I used to be a pretty casual Granblue player who was mostly around for Belial and about a year ago I developed a strange fascination with Seofon, to a point that I got a bunch of my friends into him as well (including Shades, it's my fault). I was apprehensive about recruiting an Eternal, so I got Seofon from the freebie I got after Seeds of Redemption in early February

...I then recruited the other nine Eternals over the course of the next seven months

Just yesterday I transcended Seofon for the third time

Which meant clawing my way to victory against Ewiyar in a grueling solo battle, but I pushed through. For. For him

I used to be so casual and I've been getting nonstop Platinum every month since March. I've gotten so much stronger, especially in Wind. Can you guess why? It's all his fault

First perpetuity ring and everything

I used the free revans weapon we got from the anni event to get a Sette di Spade because I can't do revans raids yet and I've been using it ever since too -

He just gives me a lot of feelings

The friend group keeps making jokes that ever since he noticed my interest, we've been getting a lot of content for him as well, Heart of the Sun and Last Sumo Warrior and Relink and the Grandcypher Kitchen and his art for the orchestra concert and who knows what else

I also had to grind like crazy in Relink to unlock him immediately when I hadn't unlocked Proud quests yet so I spent hours farming Ahrimans, so I'm used to suffering for him at least

I just wanted to get that off my chest as I am the resident Most Normal Seofon Anon

Anyway, he's pretty great I guess (understatement of the century)

OH. YOU... So you're finally in my inbox hmm?~ heheh... yes i have seen you around, what a lovely pleasure it is to answer an ask from the fabled Most Normal Seofon Anon...

anyway... this is a beautiful story. like actually... seofon really is contagious 97% of the time... i really understand where you're coming from, because most of my seofon insanity is posted on Other Sites and such, which means Tumblr is Spared from half the things i say... but it made me... really happy? to see that people found out who seofon is because of me on those sites! like i ran a poll on twitter and a huge chunk of people said they found out about him because of me... so you anon, are my kindred, truly. i get you. you get me. 🌟

like people even call me an authority on him and send me posts with him and it makes me go Woah. I've had an impact on the people. they see this freak and think of me... let's spread the illness together...

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME, LET ME JUST. SAY. GOOD JOB WITH ALL OF THAT!!!!! CONGRATS ON STAGE 3 TRANSCENDENCE!!! YAY!!!!!! 💓 let's work on stages 4 + 5 together... ^__^ i'll think of you from now on when i work on 5*'ing the other eternals~

i get going crazy over him and doing crazy grinds over him. i actually logged my progress on his first stage last year, where you can see i went pretty insane in a short period of time. 😳 unfortunately due to my health i have this tendency of going Wild for a bit and then taking breaks. but hey. if it works...? (do not get me started on the evoker grind pre-rank 200. i fought 1300 six dragon raids in three days to get 3 sands... >_< but that's offtopic so---)

i'm over rank 200, so i get to visit seofon whenever i want (i also have my siero academy permanently stuck on the v2 battle with seofon)

BUT YEAAAAAAH THANKS FOR DROPPING BY SEOFON ANON!!!!! feel free to keep me updated on how you're doing~ maybe to inspire you i'll drop a silly picture of my seofon mochi kororin in a Situation next time you're in my inbox. for now i'll leave you with this video. which i think will really resonate with you.

lore about this video is that i just got out of the ER and just felt the need to make it. the hospital drugs told me to.

[bordysbae]

could you do 5. “stop following me around like a lost puppy!” … “maybe you being around isn’t so bad.” with Turcotte?

“limelight”

alex turcotte x f!reader

alex moving to michigan was hard on him. he’s living in the hughes household, since his parents stayed back in illinois, and of course that’s a big change on anyone. you’ve lived across the street from the hughes family ever since they moved here a few years ago, and it’s been wonderful. you and jack are the same age, and grew quite close because of 1. how close your guys’ mothers got, and 2. the ungodly amount of classes you guys always mange to have together. everyone thinks you guys are dating, but you and jack are strictly just friends who carpool to school together.

as you approach jacks car, you see the passenger side window rolled down. "y/n, sorry you're in the back now," jack shrugs, as you're met with the face of the famous 'alex turcotte’ who you've been nonstop hearing about.

"the hell? i've always been shotgun," you whine, meanwhile buckling your seatbelt as jack backs off of your driveway. you then formally introduce yourself to alex, and tell him who and who not to be friends with at school. jack chiming in to rebuttal your opinions every so often.

first days of school are always a pain, but seeing your friends after being gone all summer instantly lifts the mood. as you shut your locker jack’s standing behind it, waiting to walk with you to class. this isn’t an uncommon thing, but now this time it appears you have third period with both jack and alex.

“oh alex, you have a class with us?” you ask, holding your textbook close to your chest.

“yeah, wanna see my schedule?” he asks, pulling out his phone and handing it to you. it comes as a surprise to see you have third, fourth, and sixth with alex. you and jack only have first and third together.

“damn, we have three classes together! i guess you won’t be getting sick of me,” you tease him.

—

you were wrong. alex immediately grew popular. maybe it was because of hockey, or maybe it was because of his personality, who knows? but what you do know is, alex didn’t listen to your advice on who to be friends with and who not to be. and unfortunately he adapted their shitty douchebag personas.

you’ve watched him change from that sweet shy boy you met only two months ago, to the prince of your highschool. the first month and half was great. you guys were becoming close, and early morning carpools were super fun. but when alex started to realize the limelight he was gaining, he immediately started to gloat in it. and what’s worst of all is that you were really starting to like him too.

“you guys going to the football game tonight?” you ask the two boys in the front seat.

“yeah, i bought my ticket yesterday. did you get a ticket alex?” jack asks.

“nah, andrew is just gonna get me in for free. perks of being friends with the star quarterback, yeah?” alex chuckles. you roll your eyes, and jack just chuckles along with him. normally you, jack, and alex walk to third period togther, but recently it’s just been you and jack. “hey have you noticed anything new with alex?” you ask jack.

“uh no, why?”

“oh. i feel like he’s just been cold with me i guess? it’s like he got popular and changed, but maybe i’m wrong. oh well, let’s go,” you shrug before turning on your heel and heading down the hallway with jack.

you and alex usually walk from third period to fourth together, but as he speeds out the classroom, you furrow your brows and speed up to catch him. “alex ar-“ you begin, and he snaps his head from his conversation with one of the football douches named matthew.

“oh my god y/n, what?” he asks in an annoyed tone of voice. matthew then peaks around from behind alex and chuckles before stating, “so y/n, when are you gonna stop sucking jacks dick?! you’re so obsessed with him it’s embarrassing honestly. he doesn’t want you, stop following him around everywhere. just get your own car, i bet he hates driving you. i know turcs here hates having you in the car,” he says, shoving himself into alex’s shoulder while laughing.

matthew has always teased you about you and jacks friendship, but never to the extent he just did. but what catches you off guard even more is alex’s response. “good one dude, and yeah literally stop following all of the guys around like a lost puppy! no wonder people call you a puck bunny y/n, you follow us around like crazy. and don’t get all sensitive and cry about it, i’m just tryna help,” alex shrugs before separating from matthew and going into the classroom.

you stand in the hallway with your mouth agape. you’re in utter shock at what alex had just said. you slowly shuffle your feet into the classroom, and slouch in your seat that you stupidly chose in front of alex. you ignore his idiotic laughs from behind you, and sigh. him and that damn limelight.

—

a few days go by, and you and alex have hardly spoken. a few occasional words here and there, but not much. as you’re walking to fourth period, you notice alex and his new group walking not too far ahead of you. alex is trying to tell a story, but matthew, their ring leader, is talking over him.

“turcs dude, no one’s listening. can you just let me talk?” matthew groans, and immediately alex’s face falls. his once beaming smile is turned to an embarrassed and shy frown. you bravely tap his shoulder, and he turns around to see you.

“i’ll listen to your story alex, wanna start from the beginning?” you say, and he smiles. he begins to tell you the story about his amazing hockey goal over the weekend. although you don’t really care, you still listen. as you both sit down in class, you turn around to face him.

“thank you for listening y/n. and i’m so sorry about what i said, maybe you being around isn’t so bad,” he sheepishly smiles.

“it’s okay alex, you got carried away with your new friends and that’s okay. but i told you they’re douches, i was just waiting till you realized that” you smile before turning towards the front of the class. as you’re exiting the room, alex grabs your hand to slow you down.

“y/n can i make it up to you by getting ice cream later tonight?”

“is this you asking me out, turcs?” you tease and his cheeks turn rosy. you then quickly realize you never answered him, “of course, it sounds like fun!” you smile, and he lets out a silent sigh of relief followed by a cheesy grin.

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

Ok so this is the canon au sick Cyno concept i was chewing on yesterday - and even if it doesn’t become a fic I love the thought

so! Tighnari is leaving the main city for the day, I’m assuming to go back to the forest ? (Idk how this part will work with them being in school but regardless It doesn’t matter point is nari is in the city lol) and he happens to catch a glimpse of Cyno…leaving the bimarstan..

tighnari is a little taken aback cuz he knows cyno would never willingly go and so he goes after him, only to find him pale faced and looking seconds from passing out. When Cyno sees him he’s overcome with relief and almost just collapses then and there.

now this is where my mind goes two different directions fully. 1. Cyno got injured on a Matra or Marta training related mission, and because he was with the others he was all but forced to go to the bimarstan. Maybe it was over crowded that day, full of crying and the smell of blood and antiseptic sprays and it just was far too triggering. Maybe he sees something specific that reminds him of his past and he’s pale faced cuz he’s seconds away from throwing up everywhere from panic and trauma alone. Not to mention depending on what injury he sustained it would make sense he’d be feeling nauseous in general. Tighnari finds him and is concerned and confused, does Cyno pass out? Does he puke? Both? Neither? Either way I imagine Cyno clings to nari and just wants to go with him, to wherever it’s safe. And nari ofc wants to double triple check that Cyno is truly okay (maybe Cyno continues to feel unwell and tighnari is too concerned to just send him back to his apt)

2. Cyno was on a mission to rescue some students. Students who are in the same school that Tighnari is a part of (I forget the name) maybe the mission fails and they are too late, and instead they are tasked with taking the unrecognizable remains back to the bimarstan. Maybe Cyno hasn’t seen tighnari in a few days but remembers him mentioning that he was working on something special. Maybe because the bodies aren’t recognizable when he over hears a random student asking “has anyone seen Tighnari recently” cyno im his exhaustion begins to panic and think of the worst. Maybe because of his newer status as a Matra and the fear and guilt of this mission gone wrong, and being in this hospital he just slowly and quietly begins to panic. Leaving the place feeling sick to his stomach (maybe he also ate something bad idk) and just…on his way to confirm nari is alive. He knows jes being irrational but maybe this is the first time he’s seen that many disfigured bodies of students like him. And the thought that I could be nari- of all people…so you can imagine when tighnari pops up right in front him while he’s half ready to dry heave in an alley he practically feels like he’s seen a ghost. And from there it’s the same song and dance of Cyno needed some extra medical and emotional help from the one person who makes him feel human

Okay these are absolutely BRILLIANT, and if it's okay with you I need to incorporate at least one of them into the Akademiya Days series 👀

Argh, I'm late finally responding to this, but I've been thinking about these ideas nonstop since I first read this ask and!! I'm absolutely obsessed!! I don't even know where to start!!

Tighnari's immediate concern for seeing Cyno at the Bimarstan, that immediate dread of "if he willingly went there, it's got to be really bad" or "he must have so much anxiety right now" and he immediately abandons wherever he was heading to run over and check that Cyno is okay. And just Cyno's utter relief at seeing Tighnari, like a weight lifts off his shoulders!

I can't decide which concept I like more, because these are both absolutely brilliant.

We either have a really injured Cyno who just had so many horrible memories resurfacing, and he just needs to sit down because he's so pale faced and lightheaded. He's shaking and he doesn't even know if it's because he's in pain or because he's on the verge of having an anxiety attack. I can see Tighnari either deciding "right, you're coming home with me" because he definitely wants to look after Cyno and he thinks getting him out of the city and to somewhere he feels safe will help him a lot mentally. Or Tighnari decides to just cancel his other plans immediately to go back to Cyno's apartment with him to look after him and take care of him.

Or we have properly traumatized Cyno who's suddenly questioning his decision to become a matra because he's just been so shaken up by what he just saw. He's already in the clutches of so many horrific memories from just being at the Bimarstan, and now he's been faced with the severed body parts of students like him and, even worse, like Tighnari. And his stomach is just suddenly in his throat and he has to excuse himself to hurry outside before he starts dry heaving. He's half panicking, really nauseous, and just so ashamed, but more than anything he just needs to know Tighnari is okay and- suddenly Tighnari is right there in front of him and asking if he's okay, and relief is so immense that Cyno has to puke in the nearest flowerbed.

These are absolutely fantastic argh!! I really want to write them!!

[thorniest-rose]

would u consider writing a whole emperor caracalla/geta (whichever he's actually playing) and stéphanos fic? I feel like u would write that dark captive prince vibe rly well.

oh I would love to!!! I've been thinking about it nonstop since I saw that pic of Joe yesterday in the costume... want the Emperor to play with his little pet gladiator and torment him with so much agonising pain and exquisite pleasure that the poor sweet thing can't think straight for days afterwards, let alone lift a sword in the arena.

[unionizedwizard]

yesterday two adorable little kids knocked on my door and gave me a full plate of pastries because (i THINK. i didn't manage to actually understand the whole thing) their little brother was just born and they were giving food to people in the neighborhood (? they don't live in the building i'm pretty sure) and today my other neighbors are having a party/bbq with music and all in the backyard with a lot of kids (also adorable) and so i gave them the pastries (couldn't dream of eating everything myself) (they were delicious btw) and they were really happy & gave me a plate of bbq meat........................ this is wonderful i love people. i've been thinking about the two little kids and their family nonstop since yesterday i hope they're happy and everything goes well for them..............

[jsprnt]

Healing Hearts PT. 12 | Virgil van Dijk

Would a fresh start bring you more than just a new job?

A/N: I’ve been watching the national team games lately and man I miss the World Cup so much :(

WC: 3.199

Summary: Y/N L/N is a very skilled and praised physiotherapist. A certain event pushing her for a fresh start, as a physiotherapist for Liverpool FC. One question always being in the back of her mind: Will she be able to let go of her past and allow herself to experience new things?

I check the time before I get up, walking out of my office to look for Cody. I knew he would be in the gym, that's were he'd been at this past week.

Not being able to train or play in matches definitely made him want to be still be at the training center. Just to not miss out. He had been in a brace since the game against Tottenham, causing him to miss out on yesterdays match against Union St. Gilloise.

Walking into the the gym and spotting him sitting on the exercising equipment, watching the other players exercise as he chats with them.

"Cody!" I call out, realizing it had probably attracted way more attention then if I had just gone up to him. I ignore the looks of some staff members and players, particularly Virgil's as I walk up to Cody.

I had pressed on to hide our relationship. The only thing everyone should know was that we were friendly as physiotherapist and player, nothing more or less. I was wondering if we were even good at it, so far we did not have any hiccups. Or so we thought.

"Hey, are you ready to come with me?" I ask.

"Oh yeah. Of course." He says, getting his crutches together to stand up.

"So, no greeting today Doctor." I hear a Scouser accent say.

Turning my head I make eye contact with a cheeky looking Trent.

"Hello Trent." I say, a smile on my lips.

My eyes dart at Virgil behind him who's talking to another staff member. Though, it seems like he can feel me staring at the side of his face as his eyes move to make eye contact with mine.

And of course he fucking winks

No, not even a fast wink and look away- no he had to keep staring after

I catch myself quickly trying to play it off swiftly and return my gaze to Trent.

This man was testing me.

"You've been very busy lately? Not having lunch with us either." He says pointing at me.

"Well my schedule has been packed you know that. I got to make sure you and your fellow national team players are in top shape."

He chuckles his hand coming up to my shoulder, slightly squeezing it. "Appreciate it Doc."

I nod at him, warm smile forming at my lips. I loved it when my work was respected or praised. It was definitely a huge motivation to keep helping and supporting my patients.

"Thank you. Speaking of, I have to see you in a about thirty minutes. Southgate's people have been emailing nonstop for your progress report. I've got to update it before sending it tonight."

His grin turns wider, his pearly teeth showing as the corners of his mouth crinkle.

"I'll leave before I boost your ego even more! See you in a bit." I say, laughing at his change of expression.

I look back at Cody who had already found another chatting partner and tap his shoulder to signal we had to go.

"You need any support?" I ask watching him walk with the crutches.

"Oh no it's fine." He say as we walk towards my office.

"Alright so-" I begin, reading my notes again to a worried looking Cody.

"I did discuss your injury earlier with the other physio's. I was advised to check your injury again today. Just to confirm our final conclusion. Initially, we estimated the healing time would be around seven weeks. With the progress you have already made with the brace you have on- we think you'll be back on the pitch in about four weeks. We're guessing it won't take anymore time since you definitely have a record of healing pretty fast."

"So no EURO qualifications?" He say a disappointed look on his face.

"Yeah- I'm sorry Cody. You know you have both internal and external help ready for you. Just mention it if you think you need extra support to one of us and it will be handled. Besides, I think our country definitely has a huge chance of making it to the EURO's. Just focus on healing so you can be in Germany next year. I promise you you'll be back better than ever." I say, looking at him with sympathy.

"Thank you. I know I can definitely trust the team." He smiles, though he still has disappointment written all over his face.

"Speaking of the EURO's- are you taking the optional leave during it? It has probably been a while since you've seen your family and friends." He asks changing the focus of the conversation from him to me.

I hadn't even thought of home in a while. After the infuriating phone call with Theo I had vowed to myself I'd stop letting it bother me as much. It wasn't healthy for me mentally. So I let everything be handled by my new attorney I had recently become acquainted with and of course the authorities.

I had moved back home, installed some fancy security system that costs me thousands and changed my key-code and lock. I was so done with being stomped on like a bug by a ratty looking man - I had to take control of my life somehow.

Me living alone again did take some convincing on Virgil's side. He was understandably very concerned for me- but obviously I was grown enough to handle that part on my own and he understood. He helped me move back in and everything was going very smooth so far. Of course Sophie made sure to check on me many times by knocking on my door. We had girls nights almost every other day at this point.

"I don't know- haven't thought of it yet." I answer, it did sound nice to go home to see my friends and parents. None of them knew what had happened. FaceTiming with the girls when I was living with Virgil was difficult. Especially, when his house looked so different compared to mine. To try to hide that I was living somewhere else was an actual pain in the ass. I was glad I did not have to do that anymore.

"It does sound nice but I'll have to think about it since we could have some more injuries coming up. Fingers crossed everyone will stay healthy though."

Cody ends up leaving shortly after, and I follow him out to find Trent. Hoping he's still in the gym. Thankfully, he is, and we walk into my office together and I go over the most important things that needed to be updated on his progress report.

It doesn't take much time and my appointment with Trent is done quicker than I had scheduled. Leaving me alone in my office, absentmindedly doodling in the corner of my planner, oblivious to the world outside of my office doors until the door handle is moving. The sound of the door being opened and locked after removing my attention from the flower I had drawn.

"Virgil? Did something happen?" I ask, worried about something going wrong at the gym.

He smiles walking up behind my desk and turning my office chair towards him so I face him.

"Just wanted to see my doctor." He says, and I try to not look flustered. He effect his words had on me needed to be studied by a renowned university.

I stand up, looking up at his tall frame, it slightly sweaty. The smell mixed with his musky cologne.

His hands travel to the small of my back pulling me closer.

"Virgil!" I hush, my eyes darting around even though I didn't have any glass panels or windows facing the hallway.

"What I can't see my beautiful girlfriend now?"

He smirks, his eyes roaming around my face.

Oh he was definitely enjoying this

My hands travel down to remove his hands from my back, stepping aside for a moment.

"What if there is like paparazzi hiding into those trees or houses? Can't they see us?" I whisper, my expression bewildered. My eyes travel to the window that faces the training pitch, darting around to look at the scenery behind the large pitch.

"Don't be absurd how would that be possible. No one will see us y/n." He says, his hands traveling to my jaw, gently making me face him.

"You're fine. We'll be fine. Just tell me- did you miss me?" He asks another cheeky smile on his face. I roll my eyes, though a smile pulls at the corners of my lips.

"Nope, not at all. You weren't even gone. Besides, you smell like sweat. Move!" I tease, stepping away again. He reaches out again and I step away again, a laugh leaving my lips at the desperate look in his eyes.

"Now you're being childish."

"I'm not. Go back to training. I have another appointment in a bit." He steps towards me again, this time managing to catch me in another hug.

I open my mouth to protest again, but we're interrupted as someone knocks on my door. My blood going cold for a moment as I pull away from Virgil. I look at him mortified, my heart thumping in my chest.

How would it look? If the physiotherapist and a player of the team were in her office. With the door locked?

Virgil notices the panic in my face, his face coming closer to my ear. His hand coming to run up and down my upper arm.

"Calm down. Go open the door. I'll sit on the table to pretend you just treated me and I wanted privacy."

"Okay." I whisper back, trying to release the tension in my body.

"Muscle tenseness." He adds.

I walk quickly, glancing back at Virgil before opening the door.

"Why is your door locked. Got someone in here?" The German accent booms, and I don't know if I should be relieved or embarrassed.

"Oh Jürgen?"

The name falls off my lips awkwardly, he'd insisted we'd be on first name bases. It would break down some hierarchy and our teamwork would be better he had said.

I step aside to let him in.

"Oh yeah- treated Virgil for something- tense muscle." I lie, forcing a smile on my face.

He raises an eyebrow as he catches Virgil on the treatment table, his shorts slightly hiked up to pretend I had just finished treating him.

"Boss!"

He exclaims getting up and greeting Klopp with a hug. Leaving me practically third wheeling there for a moment.

"I am sorry y/n thought you were free but you had a patient here." He says and I can't help but notice he's definitely teasing us.

"It's okay- what was it that you wanted to see me for?" I ask, trying to dismiss the topic. Discreetly trying to make eyes at Virgil for him to leave. But he shakes his head, obviously this wasn't torturous enough for him.

"It was about you staying here or taking a leave during national break. Should he leave or is he allowed to hear about it?" He points a thumb at Virgil both of them obviously now trying to crack jokes about the entire situation.

I chuckle, sure I shouldn't be awkward around Klopp. He'd known about almost everything so far, our relationship, the break in. Most embarrassingly a bit about my relationship with my ex. He was required to know at least some of it, so there was no reason to feel weird around him.

"Shouldn't he be in the gym right now?" I ask raising a cocky brow at Virgil.

"You heard your missus get out of here already!" He jokes, using the British slang, lightly punching Virgil's shoulder. His perfect pearly white teeth showing.

"I need you to leave."

"Excuse me?" I ask, the tone of my voice high as his words make my heart skip a beat.

"You need to leave for a bit during national break. I do not want you working then."

I quietly exhale at the rest of his sentence. He almost had me thinking I was getting fired.

"Why?" I ask, fidgeting with the pen in my hand.

"You've been through a lot and I think it's best that you go home for a bit. See your family and your friends."

I raise my brow at his words, my face morphing into a confused expression.

"Oh I'll be fine here there is no reason-"

"Listen and trust me y/n you've been through something that requires some more rest and healing. It's a little longer than a week and I need you to get out of here for a bit."

I stare up at him with wide eyes- a manager also taking care of the staff. That was new.

"I'll think about it Jürgen. Thank you."

"Fill in the leave application and I'll make sure it gets confirmed immediately."

I lean back in my chair after finally emailing some progress reports to my fellow physiotherapists of the national teams.

I let Klopp's words sink in, it was occupying my mind when I wasn't treating or assessing the players. Why was everyone so curious and insisting I'd take a leave?

My thoughts are cut short as I hear a notification pop up on my phone. My hands going to reach over as I'm still leaning in my chair.

The message being from Virgil. He's says training ended and to come over to his when I clock out. I shoot a quick message back agreeing before sitting up and working on the last progress report I had to send before getting out of the office.

"Should I come with you? Back home?" I say, fidgeting with the blanket on my lap as I look at Virgil. He turns his head from the Netflix show he was occupied with, a slight surprise on his face.

"You want to?"

"Yeah- thought it would be good for me and everything-"

He suddenly throws his arms around me, his face coming closer to mine to plant kisses on my face and lips.

"Of course- you’ll come to my matches and everything- let me check the flights. There should be a lot of availability."

I watch the plane land through the window. I had taken so many flights in my life due my work, that I could practically fall asleep through the turbulence. Though, first class made it ten times more comfortable.

I rub my tired eyes, the last few days had been hectic with me not knowing what to pack and in true me fashion I over packed. Virgil had already left a couple days earlier. The training camp in Zeist requiring him to be there earlier.

I had told everyone back home I was returning and everyone was very surprised to hear I was visiting so early. My dad was picking me up from the airport which did make a bit nervous. I hadn't seen him in a while. Which made me curious as to how he would react.

Thankfully, my luggage comes quickly and I immediately make my way outside of the airport. Dragging my heavy baggage behind me. Of course in typical Dutch fall fashion the weather was shitty as ever. The rain dripping on my face and body, making me shiver.

Spotting my dad in his car I nervously approach it. Taking deep breaths to try to calm my nerves.

He steps out after parking, his door opening immediately as he walks towards me.

"Hi dad."

I'm caught of off guard as he wraps his arms around me in a hug. My dad giving me this much affection? That was a new one.

"Let me have a look at you." He mumbles, pulling away and planting his hands on my shoulders.

"You've gotten skinny. Is the food there not good enough for my daughter?"

I chuckle, dismissing his concerned expression.

"I'm fine, but can we go home? It's cold out here."

"Here we thought y/n was going to England for a new job, but she also snatched a man as well?" Monet exclaims, taking a sip of her drink.

I had told them of my relationship with Virgil. From beginning to end, leaving some- crazy details out, but they were happy for me.

We all came together to Monet's home for a nice movie night. We had a lot of catching up to do. The movie had long finished, leaving us lounging around her huge sofa with drinks and snacks on the table.

"Oh stop you know I didn't plan shit." I exclaim throwing her a piece of popcorn which she avoids quickly with the duck of her head. A laugh leaving her nicely painted lips.

"Hey, no reason to be embarrassed. You're a WAG now-" Juliette teases and I resist the urge to throw another piece popcorn her way this time.

"Stop making it sound so weird- it just happened."

I complain taking another sip of my drink. My eyes dancing over the marble tiles of the home. Monet had opened her own clinic a couple years after graduating, and looking at how beautiful her home was maybe I should've taken that route too.

"Right- let's talk about something else, or we're never passing the Bechdel test." Priya chimes in.

Oh yeah, that would be much appreciated.

The night passes with many laughs and juicy gossip. Half of the friend group being flat out drunk when it's time to go home. Clumsily calling Uber's and getting home late. Making them remember their old university memories of partying it up on weekends.

y/n enters her childhood bedroom, stumbling across across the pink carpet before drunkenly throwing herself on her twin bed. She groans softly, the mattress being harder than she had recalled.

Her sleepy and drunken daze is interrupted by her phone ringing in her hand bag. She grumbles before sitting up, moving her hands to look for the bag. Only to find it on the floor, and sleepily pulling out her phone.

"Hello?" She mumbles holding the cool phone against her warm cheeks and throwing herself on to the bed again, her cheek squashed against her fluffy pillow.

"y/n?" The deep voice calls out, and she gasps softy at the recognition of the comforting voice.

"Virgil? Why haven't you called me all day? I've missed you." She giggles, her cheeks hot from the alcohol.

"I've been busy at the training center. You okay? You sound different." He asks, wondering why his girlfriend sounds so giggly and is slurring her words.

"Drinks with the girls. Half of us got drunk. Liz almost tripped when entering the cab." She laughs, trying to whisper so her parents don't wake up.

"Oh yeah?" He says, amused by her drunken story and speech.

"It was funny." She whispers, her drunken mind repeating the scenario, making her burst out in laughter again.

"Okay, but when can I see you? We're in the same country but I still miss you." She unconsciously pouts.

"We'll be in Amsterdam tomorrow, two days before the match. Come over to my place yeah? I'll see you tomorrow night. Go to sleep now sweetheart. You must be tired."

[sadhornydemons]

Yesterday, I was actually good (well behaved), staying off social media at work, but since I had to open the youtube page on my tablet (why did you not save the tab, bitch?) to continue Sean of Steel's latest upload, I saw the thumbnail for the episode during my first break.

< insert 'I was wrong Crowley dance gif' here >

First thought: wow, those who guessed that the Cherubs and d.h.o.r.k.s. were in the episode were dead right!

Second thought: wait...I wanted a half hour of Stolitz! (you sure, Sara? You didn't just spent a month angst-ing away at your crackpot headcanon of how the episode was gonna go down?)

Well, nonetheless: Scratch that, reverse it! We're mentally rewriting this episode RIGHT NOW!

So, that's how I spent my work day. Knowing full well that that's exactly why I needed to wait until I got home to actually watch it.

And I even made sure to eat some quick dinner before hand. (last month's trailer and duet basically had me at no appetite for 24 hours) And then, clutching a nearly plush for support, pressed play.

I think I zoned out during the duet (already familiar) and the b plot, just dreading what was coming. But it was handled so well...Almost in a well written fan fiction way? I stated it before in the tags, but I'll say it again: I'm really starting to trust the writers like I haven't any showrunners before.

I'll be honest, the b plot was completely unneeded. It could have been removed from the episode and left no impact. Also, why are M&M and Loona suddenly stalking Blitz's personal life? Is it opposite day in Hell? Were they gonna follow him to Stolas's palace and just yell advice through the window? "Use the double vibrator, Sir!" That said, it still helped the episode. It kept it from being the nonstop drama I've dreaded it would be. So, wise choice, in the end.

I appreciated that it didn't get truly sad until the very end. And the way it came about..there were general emotional scenes; Stolas binding the crystal to Blitz's glove, "I want you to stay because you want to, only if you want to," that I hadn't expected the show to actually go for.

So, in the end, I was relieved.

Will I got on a TRUE mad rampage if things don't get resolved by this month's episode? Oh, most certainly!

But until then, I'm shockingly good, and thankful.

[hikarry]

I went to watch Priscilla on the cinemas yesterday and, since then, I've been thinking about the scene where Elvis throws a chair at her nonstop

I don't know what it is but that shit inprinted on my brain and it's refusing to leave

I'm over here trying to study french and it randomly assaults my mind