#I've been sitting on this dialogue for too long. I've gotta share it with the world

[grassbreads]

Before Wei Chengxiang raises anchor on her first expedition beyond the continent, Zhao Qindan comes to pay a farewell visit.

Zhao Qindan/Wei Chengxiang fic is up on Ao3!!

Come get your once-yearly grassbreads fanfic oneshot :)

[fanaticsnail]

Sfw Writing Prompts: Love Languages

Dialogue prompts to get those words flowing. Written with platonic interactions in mind.

Touch

"You look cold. This blanket I've got is big enough for both of us. Jump on in, let's share the warmth."

"I just... I need a hug. Can... Can I... I just need you... Please?"

"You. Me. Arm wrestle, let's go. This time, you're going down."

"Lean on me for a bit. I can take it. No, I don't mean metaphorically, you look like you're barely holding yourself up. I got you."

Affirmation

"I'm proud of you. You've come so far, and I just... I've never been prouder to be by your side to see you accomplish it."

"You've done a good job with that. I like how you've thought it out. Talk me through it?"

"I love how your eyes light up when you do that. I can see your passion, and it's almost enchanting to witness."

"You're one of a kind. I mean it, and I mean it in a good way."

Time

"Come here. Need another body with me for a minute. You don't have to do anything, just be there."

"You reading? Mind if I just sit beside you while you do? I won't make a peep. Lips zipped."

"I'm trying to work out how to play this card game, and I feel like you'd be able to help the best. Can you play it with me?"

"Woah there. You look like you're about to pop with what you've got stewing. Let's go talk about it. You talk, I listen."

Service

"Alright, I'm here to help move the stupid thing in your bedroom. Lets get to it together."

"You've been standing for too long and your back looks all wonky. Come here, let me get that knot out."

"Did your chores for you so you could get off work early. Rest, damn it. Your eye bags are packed and ready to go."

"Made your usual breakfast along with mine to save time. Eat up, we've gotta run."

Gifts

"Saw this in town and thought of you. Doesn't cost you anything other than that massive grin on your face."

"You said you needed a new one. I saw the opportunity and took the initiative to do something about it. It's all yours."

"Had some stuff lying around. I thought I'd make it for you. I... I put your initials on it too. Right there, can you see?"

"I, uh... I picked some herbs for dinner from the garden, and these flowers were out there beside them. It didn't take much effort to throw them together, but I know how you like plants, so I thought you might like it."

[artficlly]

Lessons in Lovemaking (Part Four)

Put this shit in my VEINS. This story is so good - I loved the added complexity of Steve finding out. Kudos to Reader for addressing the elephant in the room, even if things went a little sideways. I’m hoping the physicality of the sparring match is foreshadowing to some smokin hot makeup sex. Or at least the balcony conversation paves the way for some resolution. Baby steps. Lessons in how to be good to themselves and each other in all regards. What will be Reader’s lightbulb moment when they allow things to be forgiven, to be okay? I can’t wait for the next chapter - thank you for writing this and sharing it with us!

hi lovely,

thank you so so much for reading!!

i'm actucally kind of proud of the argument scene at the start. I've been sitting on that dialogue for so long, i think i wrote it up weeks if not months ago?? i'm sorry for the cliffhanger at the end tho, the chapter just got so long and their conversation on the balcony is gonna be super important soooo i wanted it to have it's own space to breathe. but i think deep down the reader forgave bucky a long time ago, she is just bad for self-sabotaging <3

i hope everyone trusts me when i say it's gotta get so much worse to get better hehe <33 but do you understand why i was so damn nervous posting now??! i had to get some mutuals to read it over for me because i was stressin that the second half was too boring, since it's a very reader heavy chapter. i don't know! i'm going crazy over here!!

anyway thank you sooo much for reading and supporting meee! i love reading peoples reactions, it means a lot to me! you're amazing, much love to you!!

[dariaslookalike]

hello I hope that you are fine and that you are doing great. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for founding your work about Dr House. Stumbling on your work felt like founding water in a desert , I could not found one work this long and this well written about this fandom . OK the fandom is kind of old but come on Dr Gregory House is SO HOT give this man more love.But seriously your work was so good . the characterization of each character was top tier especially House felt like I was watching the show . And I loved his and reader interaction it was so good ,we love the enemies to lover trope . they were so sassy and mean with each other( especially House) I was having the time of my life reading your dialogue . Anyways I really enjoyed reading your work THANK YOU for sharing it with us . Also I would not want to be a burden but could you please give me recommendation of some Dr House X reader Fanfiction please . HAVE A GOOD DAY OR NIGHT ,SENDING YOU A LOT OF HUGS

thank you so much!!! Literally agree with all of that, like when my House obsession had me in a chokehold, it was so hard to find the sort of fanfiction that was what i was looking for- like don't get me wrong, smuts great but sometimes I wanted to sit down for a few hours and be delusional. So i was like okay fuck it I'll write it, and that was my first ever published fic. AND FR he is that hot like to this day I still have edits saved to my phone. my friends literally made me a dilf scrapbook for my birthday and he was across like five pages

I'm really glad you're enjoying my writing!! it always makes me so giddy to hear something like that, so thank you for all the compliments <33

i want to continue with that fic eventually, and i have plans of at least another 3 chapters to finish it off, it's just trying to find the motivation to get back to it. i just checked and i originally posted on AO3 back in 2023 January, so it's been awhile. im doing well, but i've just started my first year of uni so im a bit swamped.

not a burden at all for the request!! i will say the place to be is AO3- you can filter the results by the chapter lengths, likes, word lengths etc. i really liked beetective's fic there, called 'friday i'm in love' though i think it is a wilson x house x reader and a wip. i think honestly i read maybe one or two fanfics until i was like okay ive just gotta write what im looking for atp, so i don't have a heap of recommendations sorry.

TYSM LOTS OF LOVE !! and have a good day or night too :))

[adhdavinci]

*flipping through the fanfic ask game like a menu*

How about D, F, K, X, or Y (or any combination of those)? For any fics you wanna talk about 😁

saran u always come thru for me 🥹<-me trying not to propose on the spot

D: Do you have any playlists for fics?

OH MY GOD. I just realized I still havent posted the finished playlist for The Red Prison DJENGBDNFNFNGN been meaning to slap it on tumblr (and ao3 😅) for ages!! uhhh here it is until i make an actual post

I also have playlists for each ship in the Greater Haven Polycule... I love music a Lot and my writing tends to be influenced by songs and vice versa

basically the answer to "is there a playlist?" is almost always Yes

F: Share a snippet from your favorite dialogue scene.

i spent way too long (read: weeks) trying to figure out what to choose. but i think its still this goofy ass scene from Greater Haven Polycule Part 2, (your painted armor aches to crack)

Right now, everyone is finishing lunch, and the Distressing Duo sit on Jak's bedroll together, having an odd conversation. It starts off when Daxter prompts, "Hey, Jak. Fuck, Marry, Kill: the Fisherman, Birdwatcher, and Sculptor. And you gotta explain why." Jak blinks rapidly, like he can't believe what he just heard. "What?" "It's a game! Fuck, Marry, Kill. It's fun. Ximon taught me," Daxter grins. "Um. Interesting." Jak furrows his brow. "...can I say none of the above?" "No! You gotta choose, that's how the game works." Daxter shakes a finger at Jak. "C'mon, they weren't that ugly! 'Specially not the Sculptor, always liked his ear cuff. Hey, you ever think about gettin' an ear piercing?" Jak smirks. "I've considered it."

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

again, hard to choose, buuuuut probably the one I wrote a whole novel about ;P The Red Prison really is an insane bout of angst. Oedipus is probably a close second, just due to the nature of .... everything. if you know you know

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Jak for sure. I put that man in SITUATIONS. some real CONUNDRUMS u know especially if it involves him getting gregnant

i also do terrible things to Torn... and Errol ofc but at least he deserves it

Y: A character you want to protect.

Tess. my fuckin girl. my sweetie baby angel. (i say as I give her an immensely traumatic backstory)

[thekuraning]

Could I please have 7, 9, 16, 24 and 27 for the fic writer ask? 💙

HFDUAIGHRQHG WOW THATS SO MANY thank you aria!!!!

as always... kura talk lots.... read more time!

7. your preferred writing fonts

For the longest time it was Arial, then basically from Covid lockdowns to maybe about a year ago I was a Comic Sans truther. But recently I've been using Optima and Trebuchet! There is something very delightfully round about them... they are soft like bunnies.... Bonus points, they're a bit of larger, thicker fonts, which makes is much easier for me to read. I have no idea if I'm dyslexic because I've never been tested but reading--while fun and one of my favorite pass-times--is like. So hard. And it feels like the longer I've been out of Lit classes the harder and harder reading gets. :') I've got a mountain of fics and books I'd like to read but it takes a lot of energy to keep track of what line im on that i gotta save it all up for writing... ive had city of dogs open in a tab for like months now bro i just wanna read.... TAT

But yeah I love me them thicker rounder weighted sort of fonts.

9. start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted?

so the last finished one-shot i posted was Who We Don't Expect to See, which took probably about six months to a year wrestling to get the dialogue to behave. The last complete multi-chapter fic was the Baristsa on Autumnal Avenue, which took about nine months!

As for unfinished works, I'm expecting Maelstrom to probably take another year , maybe year and a half at this pace! Ideally, I'd love to have it done by December which would mean a year and two months total, but we'll have to see thinking emoji

16. favorite place to write

I'm usually either at my desk in my office or on my couch lol and that's just a question of whether I feel more like writing on my desktop or my laptop! But since I started back at my local community college, I've found INSANE productivity at the campus cafe!! I don't know what it is, but as soon as my ass is sitting at the table with a coffee I'm like fucking sonic the hedgehog the way I start pumping chapters out. Probably about 80% of Maelstrom fic's been written in that little cafe!!

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

banging my head against the wall until im creative again :( or until i knock myself out, whichever comes first

actually lol I spend a lot of my recharge time watching youtube or playing video games. I'm big into Splatoon and Phasmophobia! I used to be really into Fall Guys until Epic bought the game out. but mostly it's just youtube these days lolll cause once im out of creative juice thats like. it. my energy's gone and i tend to spiral, so I'll end up just snuggling my kitty and watching gamegrumps or something (i dont know why, he just really likes watching game grumps)

>:( we used to watch a lot of netflix together too but since they cracked down on account sharing and my parents managed the family account we can only get in on the desktop now... how are we supposed to snuggle like this!!! cozy kitty economy is in shambles smdh

27. your favorite part of the writing process

answered over here winky kissy face emoji

[yuorai]

So here am I - posting after forever. But who cares?

Oke, so not gonna lie - I've got into writing the summer of 2024 and since then - still constantly writing. Which yeah, surprise.

So, what have I learned after that long time of writing? Many things that I believe many would find useful. So here's my advices I collected as pokemons on how to lessen your suffering as a writer.

★1 - “Your story - your execution”

★ Ya know the story - some enthusiastic writer who's excited to write, for example, psychological horror and share his story - gets his story from layered and thought-out to something far away from its initial idea. Why? Because some guy on the internet told him that it was too much.

And that's how your story went from a lovely crafted story to some inconsistent and messy shit show.

What should you do? Absolutely ignore those comments. Not easy, I know - I know how it when you have only one or two readers always leaving comments and always waiting for the chapter updates and I know how it is when you see them as some holy beings that took a liking to your story and how high you place their opinions and all that shit but - is it really worth it? Should you really put their opinions higher than your own? Should you really go the extra mile just for them to like it?

Haven't you been writing because you liked the idea you've come to? Haven't you started to write because you wanted to share YOUR story for everyone to see? Haven't you started to write because you wanted for others to see YOUR vision and not for it to crash under others opinion? Think about it.

★2 - “Prioritize progress over perfection”

★ That's maybe where everyone got stuck in their path as a writer - not gonna lie, I also have fallen a victim to this nasty thing - perfectionism.

You wanna progress and get your fic done as fast as possible for readers to get a final and finished product - you sit down, get words down and then - you keep refining that one line cuz it seems off for the hundredth time.

A moment of a silence for all those who've abandoned their projects because they couldn't get that one line right.

How to fight it? The answer is so simple even I got mind-blown - just get words down without worrying much about perfecting it. Like, ya know stuff as first drafts and all, right? If not - that's probably what you weren't doing right - you need to treat the first vers of your chapter as a first draft. Your first draft isn't a last and you can go back to refine it later - but right now, you're on a mission of speed running through your fic.

The most basic words known to man? Who fucking cares - progress first, obsessing over every little mistake later.

The most sad sounding description you've ever seen? And? Someone gonna get after you because of this?

Robotic and most unhinged dialogues? Who doesn't experiment - doesn't progress.

And also, first drafts are a great place to unleash your writing experimentations upon. Try different pacing, phrases, descriptions and experiment with your dialogues - cuz I can assure you, it'll give you results.

★3 - “To improve is to work”

★ Love the idea of writing like those inhumanly good writers, right? I get it, like who doesn't?

But, have you worked towards that?

Have you tried to improve yourself as a writer to be as one of those writing idols of yours? No? Then, you gotta change it from right now.

“But they're naturally good and I can't be that good as well-” WRONG. You CAN and WILL if you put your heart to it. Like, whining about that you're such a sucker of a writer when you don't even try to improve? Would you be someone who at least tried - I wouldn't have questions but looks like it's not a case here, hm?

Like, even those great and inhuman writers started somewhere - they were also in your position - no clue of what a pace, flow, characterization, good interactions, meaningful dialogues, good descriptions and engaging writing is. Just like you.

But they worked towards improving, they wrote, experimented, risked and breaked boundaries to achieve that.

Like damn, if I had my first works at hand I could've even shown you my own progress as a writer but how bad I don't. Like, my first works felt rushed, jumped between humour and angst, speed runned every event without a moment to breathe and process and etc etc but I kept going. I kept writing because that was my passion now. I wanted to prove myself first that I can finish a story, that I can write as good as others, that I can be THAT writer everyone would talk about.

So, why wouldn't you try too?

★4 - “Criticism is your friend - not your enemy”

★ Oh yeah, that's gonna be THAT talk. So, ya know the shit - be open for criticism, don't be defensive about your story and blah, blah, blah. Not interested.

Well, that's true that to improve - you need constructive criticism. The one that points out the problem and offers advice.

Get your mind to relax with the criticism - they're not actively punching or bullying you, it's just advice from some internet people. They're giving you a fresh perspective and fresh look on your story - which could lead you to discover something you might've missed or haven't just thought about before.

Maybe one of those comments could lead you to come up with some crazy twist? Or it may lead to you actively improving your writing. And who knows? Maybe one of those comments could be a really good call to look at your story in a unique and unexpected perspective?

But of course - taking criticism doesn't mean you have to bend under it, trynna please some strangers. People would never be pleased - so you gotta sprawl your shoulders and puff up your chest to stand your ground. You don't have to change your whole writing style cuz some commenter advised you to try a more poetic approach.

You just gotta take what's good and leave with a clear idea what should be improved and what should stay as it is.

But, if someone just shitting on you cuz they felt like it - you can, without a shame, round kick them in the stomach😂

★5 - “Write for your own pleasure”

★ That's maybe where most writers burn out - because they feel like they NEED to and not because they WANT to.

How many stories have you started because you felt obligated to keep your readers entertained and don't leave hanging?

How many times have you dispited where your energy went but couldn't quit because of a pressuring quilt of NOT writing?

How many pages of displeasure have you written?

If you can answer at least one of those questions - I should stop you then. Right here and now.

You can't keep milking those ideas and write non-stop for months or days. You're a human being that needs to recharge and take a break. Grab a snack, enjoy your fav film and forget your pressuring quilt. Because, at the end of the day, your fic would be here - waiting for when you are ready.

And, give that damn tired genius mind of yours a break. Seriously, even through a text I can feel how it begs for a 5 minute break. Give it to him then - let it relax, be carefree and in return - he might bombard you with some good ideas or what to add to your story.

And, if you're stressing over YOUR OWN writing - what's the funny part then?

[vaya-writes]

14, 17, 20

Where do I get my inspiration:

Sometimes I see cool characters and I'm like 'man I wish I had a character like that' and then it happens. I gotta shave away all the identifiable features and keep just the one or two aspects I liked most about them and then rebuild them into fresh people.

Other times I write a whole ass story just to justify a single scene. (TWB and the gangbang). Sometimes I write with a horny heart and the inspiration is just what I think is sexiest at the time.

A lot of my protagonists come from two different genres of self inserts depending on my mood: 1) a super badass character I'd like to be or 2) a darling who could do with some coddling and protection.

What is my writing and editing process like:

Once upon a time my writing might have been completely different. I'd write during school lunches and every afternoon and have brain storms with the besties and share writings with my friends and get hyped like that. But like now I'm an adult with brain fog and executive dysfunction and have to spend my spoons carefully. So writing is an enormous effort.

But boy do I adore editing.

I do the big thing that everyone ever tells you not to do and that is edit as I write. In that I'll sit down and be like 'what did I write yesterday, let's refresh my memory as to what part of this scene I'm up to' and as I read it I have a tendency to just line edit as I go. Which results in whole scenes being line edited so many times.

If I'm really struggling with motivation I'll skeleton a scene. Just a really a basic outline of what I expect to happen. And then I write in some details. More and more until it looks like it's actually written properly. Sometimes I'll put down the bad words I don't want to use and if I'm flowing I'll just bold them to fix later or add a little (?) afterwards to remind me to come back and change it. I do this with most of my issues really, especially when I'm doing a little skim line edit I'll just add a bolded (break this sentence up) or a (rearrange, doesn't flow well) or even just bolding words where I've noticed repetition.

Sometimes I'll have a scene in my head and I don't want to loose the details so I will jot down the dialogue or bare minimum. Here's one that will be in my next StS chapter:

(On the way back Briar spots something and is super excited and he thinks that’s kind of cute and she points to it and then points to herself. “You are the swamp rose?” no “Oh, your name?” yes, “rose?” no, she points to the thorns, “thorn?” no. He considers for a long moment, “briar?” her face lights up and she signs it for him and signs yes with much enthusiasm. He gets caught up in the excitement too. Tells her she has a beautiful name. Takes a moment to formally introduce himself.) 

(Thank you for letting me talk about myself and my writing style ily)

What year did I publish my first fic:

According to A03 it's a little smut fic from late 2022 called Onahole in the Wall. I sporadically wrote fic before then but never finished or published it.

Oh, actually that's not true. Some of my original short stories were included in published school anthologies from 2012 to 2014.

[surreality51]

Questions 5, 18 and 19, if you are happy to answer more than one question?

Thank you!

Thanks for the ask, @pearandalmondtart!

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

Anywhere and everywhere. I rarely get time to myself, so I write a lot in tiny spurts using Notes on my iPhone. I'll write while waiting in line, at the gym, or on the floor after I've finished reading bedtime stories to the kids. Part of this is due to my circumstances of being a working parent, but part of it is also how my brain likes to write. I find it incredibly hard to sit down and write a fic from start to finish, especially a longer fic. I use more the "BitTorrent" method of writing, where I jot down pieces of scenes and dialogue as they come to me, in whatever order they come to me. Sometimes this means I write a scene from the middle, then jump to the beginning, then write the last scene, then dialogue from a third the way through, etc. Then I have to somehow string it all together when I finally sit down at 1am when the whole house is asleep. Yeah....not the most efficient way to write, but you do what you gotta do.

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

I'm going to be greedy and name two scenes from The Promises We Make, because that's the longest fic I've written in over a decade and gosh darnit I'm proud that I actually finished it.

FWIW, spoilers ahead.

Scene #1: Mirka confesses to Rafa that Roger loves him and Rafa asks her why she’s telling him this

For all of Mirka’s shortcomings, she did not lack for courage.

“It was a hard truth that I needed to accept. And that is why I’m here: because he has a choice to make, and he believes there is only one way forward for him. I know him. He will choose me and the kids, every time. In his heart, he has already made the choice, because he hasn’t said anything to you. And he never will.”

She gathered herself and looked Rafa full in the eye.

“But I also know the choice has cost him. He made the choice alone, without talking to me about it, because he was afraid. He didn't want to hurt me. But what he has forgotten is this: I don’t want to hurt him either. I love him too much to let him live with regret. Do you understand what I am saying?”

Rafa gave the barest nod. Mirka reached out and placed her hand on his chest, right over his heart. Rafa automatically covered her hand with his.

“So I have made a choice too. I’m choosing to make room for all of us. I don’t want to watch him watching you with longing in his eyes. I love him too much for that.”

This exchange was hard but pivotal, because I had to figure out the answer to why--why would Mirka willingly share Roger with Rafa? If you want to build an OT3, you need at least two sides of the triangle to be balanced, and the third side to accept each other. Any imbalance on the third side would cause the whole thing to collapse. So the Mirka-Rafa relationship is key to making any Fedal relationship where Mirka is not shunted to the side both possible and believable. I wanted to give her agency, to make it her choice. For that to happen, I needed to answer the question of why. And it had to be from a position of strength, not "because I'm afraid I will lose Roger otherwise."

And so to find the answer, I thought about what makes marriages strong and what has been important in my own marriage, and one thing I came up with is brutal honesty about your desires, dreams, wants, and needs--how important it is that these things align, and how a married couple might drift apart if they don’t actively try to stay aligned with each other on these aspects. This is where the hard work of a long-term marriage lies, in the constant alignment and realignment of each partner’s priorities with the other’s so that you both keep rowing in the same direction. It’s a constant, unending effort that requires honesty about which direction you really want to row in. 

It occurred to me that Roger, in his position, wouldn't be willing to risk what he has (Mirka and the kids) to pursue what he wants (Mirka and the kids and Rafa). He wouldn't do that to his family because he loves them too much, and he’d be afraid of jeopardizing what he has. Plus, there’s no guarantee that Rafa feels the same way AND is willing to jeopardize his marriage with Mery for it. In fact, it’s such a long shot as to be a moot point, hence Roger choosing to keep his feelings to himself. But that necessarily means that he's lying to Mirka, if only by omission and thru his inaction. It's for all the right reasons, but his choice still creates an area within their marriage where he is not completely honest. 

Once I realized this hole in their marriage, one that has been steadily growing in size over the years, I had the key to giving Mirka the power to do something about it. I wanted her character to have the intelligence to see this hole in her marriage and the courage to face it. And it was important to me that she approached it not out of fear of losing Roger but out of love for Roger. She approaches it in a way that shows the strength of her character and the durability of her faith and trust in Roger and what they had built together.

Because what any Fedal+Mirka OT3 fic needs to acknowledge is that Mirka is the one who stands to lose the most if things go south, so it takes real courage, trust, and faith for her to let Roger go and yet believe that he will stay. I wanted to honor her for that strength.

Scene #2: The sister scene to the one above. Rafa confronts Roger about what Mirka told him. 

“So what else did my lovely wife tell you?”

Rafa huffed a low laugh. “She told me you are in love with me and it is very obvious and we are being stupid about it.”

“Oh, is that all?” Roger replied lightly. “She’s not worried about me cheating on her with you and blowing up the careful balance you and I have maintained for the last ten years and risking my marriage and yours and the press finding out and everything going to hell?”

“No, she says we are stupid if we have doubts about our love for our wives and our families. I think she is insulted that you did not talk to her about this.”

“So she sent you to talk to me about this instead of coming to me directly herself.”

That was a dangerous ball. Rafa paused to consider his response.

“I think,” he said slowly, feeling around for the right approach, the most truthful approach, “maybe she thinks you don’t really believe her if she just told you with words, because you are too scared of the consequences, so she wanted to show you that she is okay with this.”

Roger considered their twined fingers quietly for a long moment.

“She must be very mad with me if she went to all this trouble.”

“Yes, very mad. You are very stupid.”

This scene was necessary to close the triangle, because we have Roger-Mirka as pre-established, chapter 1 deals with the Rafa-Mirka side, and now Roger and Rafa need to hash things out. It took me a while to figure out how we could get to Roger opening up and finally acknowledging his feelings for Rafa. I knew that Rafa needed to push him, because Roger was never going to do it on his own, for the reasons outlined above. It also occurred to me that Mirka couldn’t be the one to push Roger, for the same reasons as above. So it had to be Rafa. But how would he do it? 

Rafa is a very open and straightforward person, but he’s also highly emotionally intelligent and sensitive. It made sense and felt right to me that he would be very matter of fact about it, in a “why you being stupid?” way, once he himself had come to terms about what he wanted and what the situation was. 

So how would he approach Roger? 

By straight up calling him an idiot, of course. 

Because in a way, Roger was an idiot. First, because he assumed/hoped that Mirka wouldn’t notice his feelings for Rafa. (Haha, the entire tennis community and half the internet has noticed his feelings for Rafa, I don’t know how he expected Mirka not to notice.) Second, he assumed/hoped that Mirka “I have one job and one job only” Federer would do nothing about it and just let it lie there festering and unspoken between them. Third, he assumed/feared that Rafa “I left my pregnant wife’s hospital bed to be with you” Nadal would never be able to reciprocate even if they did acknowledge their feelings for each other, for all the practical reasons listed above. 

Clearly, he had underestimated Mirka, their relationship, Rafa, and even Mery. Hell yes, Mirka is mad about that and is gonna do something about it. But she ain’t gonna do all the hard work for them, Rafa needs to step up as well, and he does. 

tl;dr: Roger is an idiot, both Rafa and Mirka are calling him on it, but they love him anyway.

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

Rafa is definitely hard for me write in terms of realistic dialogue, just because he has a non-standard way of speaking English. I need to listen to more interviews with him, because his grammatical “errors” are not random, they are probably rooted in how English and Spanish differ. Or at least that’s my guess. The point is, I need to listen to his speech patterns more to figure them out. 

He’s also less familiar to me as a person/character. I admittedly watch a lot more Roger interviews and feel I have a pretty good grasp on his character. He shares a lot of the same attitudes, motivations, way of approaching things as my husband does, so it’s easy for me to understand and draw on that in my writing. But Rafa I feel like I know less well, partly because I haven’t watched 700 hours of interviews of him, partly because he’s somewhat limited in what he can express in English interviews, partly because he’s an introvert who naturally lives more in his head--whereas with Roger it’s a bit more “what you see is what you get” though not always--and partly because I don’t have someone in my life who is similar to him, so I haven’t been able to pull on my own experience and observation. 

Mirka is hard to write in the sense that we don’t see or hear from her directly very often. Much of what we know is either from before 2005, second-hand from Roger or biographers, or what we can observe from afar when she’s in the stands. We can make a lot of inferences from this--such as her being an introvert, very driven and determined, ambitious, mentally strong, disciplined, detail-oriented, highly organized, warm, positive, and steady/supportive of those around her--but we still have a lot of blanks to fill in. Some of it I fill in using my own experience being in a long-term relationship where the two parties are practically attached at the hip and work together to achieve shared goals, but admittedly some of it is just wish fulfillment of seeing a female character who can hold her own in an environment like the male professional tennis circuit and not be reduced to just a WAG.

Mery is by far the hardest to write because I know so little about her, hence why she gets the short end of the stick in my fics. I definitely need to change that. Maybe I should write a fic that is just texts between Mirka and Mery about their boys being idiots. :D

[thebuckblogimo]

On the value of reflection, especially during early adulthood.

December 10, 2022

I've always been a person who reflects a lot. And I seem to be doing more of it these days than perhaps any time since I was a young man. Back then I intently pondered where I was going in life, what exactly I might do with my life, and whether I would settle down with someone for the rest of my life. I thought about these and other things, trying to "figure it out" while living on my own, starting out as a copywriter, and doing the crazy stuff single guys often do.

Now, during the "twilight of my years," I'm more prone to wonder about where our Sun and Earth came from, where we came from, and whether there will be an afterlife or something akin to a deep sleep when the lights finally go out. It's not possible to absolutely know the answers to the biggest questions of life, but I thoroughly enjoy considering them and learning the various hypotheses of physicists, biblical scholars, intellectuals, etc.

We all reflect on things to some degree, I'm sure. However, I believe that those who do too little reflecting, especially during that sometimes strange and foggy period between the end of the teenage years and bonafide adulthood, often get themselves into trouble.

I went to school with, essentially, a class of the same 120 kids for 12 years. And I suspect that the ones from that core group who ultimately wound up in dead-end jobs, or became drug and alcohol addicted, or found themselves in calamitous marital situations engaged in too little personal reflection as they approached adulthood.

During the early '70s when most of my old neighborhood pals had just finished college or returned home from combat in the jungles of Vietnam, we frequented a neighborhood bar called Smitty's (which became the Phase 1), a couple blocks down the street from the gym at St. Al's. It was our Cheers. It was where most of the fellas who didn't get married right after school or the Vietnam War hung out at the end of the day and went for last call on weekends.

When you walked into the place there was invariably someone inside you knew. If you wanted to score a bag of weed, or place a bet with a bookie on a football game, one of the regulars sitting at the bar could help you out. The Phase didn't have a happy hour. It had something called the "brain freeze." You could drink cheap beer from 3:00 to 6:00 p.m., until your brain froze. I never went because I was working downtown at AAA at the time. But I heard the stories. Like the time that some construction workers walked into the place, ordered a case of beer, got toasted, and began harassing one of the regular patrons. This caused a buddy (a former Big Ten judo champ and powerlifter)--to stand up on his stool at the bar, spread his arms, cry out "Valhalla," and leap onto the construction workers' table. A barroom brawl ensued to the beat of the juke box blaring in the corner.

Just another afternoon at the brain freeze.

As time went on, however, I noticed that some of the guys, old friends with whom I had played grade school sports, were spending too much time getting "jacked" every day. A few started missing work. Some would turn uncharacteristically angry. Worst of all, a handful of them started experimenting with the hardest of drugs.

Hey, I was no angel back then. I made my share of bad decisions, to be sure. But thanks, I think, due to deep reflection, I usually knew where to draw the line. I had certain goals and wasn't about to let anything deter me from going after them. That wasn't the case in the example of one of my closest pals. Eventually, I confronted him:

"Man, I think you gotta drinking problem..."

That was just the beginning of a decades-long dialogue between the two of us about his addiction. Excessive drinking led to the dissolution of not one but his two marriage engagements. And although he is alive today he is not well. A healthcare worker must be with him 24 hours a day after he totaled his truck, injuring his brain, while in a drunken state a few years ago.

The overwhelming majority of the guys who hung at the Phase went on to do just fine. They became business professionals, tradesmen, policemen, autoworkers, accountants, tool and die makers, attorneys, etc. Most of them eventually got married and started families.

But a handful of them never reached the potential they had. A few became alcoholics. And heroin took down two brothers--one older than me overdosed, one younger than me was fatally shot. They were, literally, a couple of brilliant kids. Any of the old pals would tell you that. Perhaps their drug-connected deaths were ultimately attributable to being raised in an affluent but dysfunctional family. In any case, as smart as they were they seemed to have an inability to think beyond the moment. I doubt that they spent much time considering what they might be doing five or ten years down the road.

If only they had engaged in some serious personal reflection.

[lavender-lores]

june reading wrap-up

finally back from my trip so now i can make this post! i've also updated my read list accordingly :)

the love interest (cale dietrich) - 6/13, 4 stars

it was entertaining for sure! but some parts of the book were either badly written or with weird plot pacing 😭😭 and even though its supposed to be stereotypical, what can i say? it was stereotypical.. and then the late half of the book just comes at you out of nowhere it was weird... but i really liked it what can i say??

my mechanical romance (alexene farol follmuth) - 6/14, 5 stars

this book knocks it OUT OF THE PARK! its realistic and its witty, and i guess a large part of the reason i liked it so much was because i related so much. its ironic but i finished this book about being a girl in robotics while literally sitting in my robotics class where i'm the only girl 😭😭 i loved this book. i want to frame it. its lighthearted in the parts it needs to be and the pacing + writing is superb. you gotta read it!

these violent delights (chloe gong) - 6/21, 4 stars

this book has been in my possession since literally winter and i have been trying SO HARD to read it until now and it was just SO HARD to get into. but by chance when i picked up at the beginning of my vacation i found myself well into the book. i dont think i'll check out the sequel, though. it was good, but it just didn't hit all the way for me.

cafe con lychee (emery lee) - 6/21, 2.5 stars

idk why but emery lee's writing just doesnt stick well with me. the book had me feeling empty and it seemed like there was just no real reason behind the book, yknow? it was fine at best. but i didn't enjoy it

a crown of wishes (roshani chokshi) - 6/22, 4.5 stars

this book!!! was so fun!!! i am not an enemies to lovers type of person (i am an extinct species) but this was literally so fun. the RELATIONSHIP between the mcs, the ACTION, the FANTASY, and the ROMANCE!!!! i loved it so much! this book was just so me in a way i cant explain. this one is one thats going on the darlings shelf

the kite runner (khaled hosseini) - 6/23, 5 stars

not much i can say on it that nobody else has, but let's just say that i'm using this for my ap lit summer reading as a "book that demonstrates literary merit."

skyhunter (marie lu) - 6/24, 4 stars

another that took too much time to get into 😅 my friend recommended this to me in like november and kept asking me about it because they loved this one so much but i had to kept telling them i hadnt finished it yet and i felt really bad.. but once i read it it wasn't all that bad! but it wasn't a fave that's for sure.

the tiger at midnight (swati teerdhala) - 6/28, 5 stars

I. LOVED. THIS. BOOK. the dialogues were fun and the pacing was good, plus it had the long-lost-royal trope that i absolutely love! sometimes though the writing would be weird about the whole viper stuff cuz it would keep saying she was super scary and then most of the book is her acting very.. lackluster? as opposed to this in-universe reputation. either way, i simply had to get the next book asap. and...

the archer at dawn (swati teerdhala) - 6/29, 2 stars

....... what happened 😭 idk the story quality literally nosedived after the first one i was so shocked and i didnt even feel like getting the next book i have no idea what happened in this book..

solitaire (alice oseman) - 6/30, 1 star

there are some people that are going to be very mad at me for this. but unfortunately, i feel that there is something all those people share that allows them to like this book: relatability. and i do not have that. the mc is unlikable, and she is unlikable on purpose. the point of the book is to help you to understand life from the perspective of someone like tori. but all i can say is that i absolutely hated reading it. this book did nothing but.. annoy me. i hated how she acted to other characters. i hated how she complained all the time. i wish michael holden never came back. this whole book just made me mad. i'm really sorry but i just hated this book.

here's to reading more in july!