#I've been looking at this for a completely normal amount of time. totally..

[nayomi247]

okay okay that uh ideal partner headcannon post with lucifer where you said he would fall for you over your smile got me REELING. Can you do some headcannons (maybe a little story if your so kind o great one) about a reader who doesn't smile/laugh very often and one day Lucifer sees them just totally let loose; like maybe they see an old friend or they get super drunk or whatever, but basically they are nothing but smiles and giggles and Lucifer is 100% smitten.

You've Got A Smile That Could Light Up This Whole Town

A/N: THIS IS SO CUTE. Definitely one of my favorite requests that I've gotten. Writing Lucifer as a complete simp is my kryptonite. Thank you so much for the ask btw<3

Pairing: Lucifer/f!reader

Contents: Fluff, Pining, drunken confessions, alcohol, drinking, Lucifer being a simp

Work under the cut🤞🏻

You had never been much of a smiler. You weren't depressed of course, and you were a happy person, but you just.. didn't smile.

A lot of people had asked you if you had some sort of trauma, or even if you had something wrong with you. You never let it bother you though. You knew it wasn't necessarily 'normal' but you didn't care, you were happy with who you were.

Now, here in hell, not many people smile, for obvious reasons. It's easier to blend in now and not have to deal with constant questions. Though many people at the hotel you're staying at think it's a bit odd. They have one person who smiles constantly, and another that doesn't smile at all. They think it's best not to question it.

Though one person, Lucifer, thinks of it, or more specifically you, more than he probably should. He may be the devil, but he still smiles and what not.

You're sat at the bar, a drink in hand and chatting along with Husk. Angel sits beside you, also pitching in every once in a while. Nearby, Lucifer sits in the lobby mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

He looks up every once in a while, occasionally listening in to what you have to say or what the conversation topic is.

After a while, and an amount of drinks that you can't even count, you start to loosen up. A small smile here or there at a story Husk tells or a little giggle at Angel's jokes.

Lucifer decides he's had enough of whatever he was doing, making his way up to the bar and sits down on a stool beside you. He doesn't say much, only smiling a bit at your soft smiles or chuckling along with you.

As time goes on, your laughs get slightly louder and your smiles linger for longer. But after Husk tells what your drunken self thinks is the funniest story ever, you burst into laughter.

It takes everyone by surprise, seeing you, the person who never smiles turning red and shedding tears over a story.

Lucifer though, turns a deep shade of red at seeing you like this. You're smile is beautiful to him. He wishes he could see it all the time. If this is the way to get you to smile and laugh, then by God he'll drink with you every night.

You continue to laugh, almost on the floor as he stares in awe. Why don't you smile like this all the time? Are you insecure? If so, you shouldn't be.

Finally realizing that he's staring, like a creep, he quickly turns to Husk. He needs more alcohol in his system if he's gonna see you like this all night.

"Uh- Husk?" He stutters out and Husk looks over to him a bit confused, as well as Angel and you. He flushes a bit more at the sudden attention, but quickly composes himself.

"Can I get an um.. a- drink..please." He once again stutters. Get a grip Lucifer! "Sure.." Husk replies, almost as if to question him. "What kind?"

"Hm?" Lucifer asks, thinking he was already done with having to talk. "What kind of drink?" Husk says almost like it's obvious, which it kind of is.

"Ah, okay.. um, anything apple flavored...please." Husk nods and Lucifer pulls out his phone, trying to act like he isn't a complete mess just by hearing you laugh.

Meanwhile, you start a conversation with Angel, your laughs and snickers filling the room once more. Lucifer doesn't even pay attention to what's on his screen, instead he listens in to what you're talking about. He doesn't even really care what the topic is, just that he can hear you.

Husk hands him the finished drink and he downs it like a man who was deprived of water for days. Husk, a bit surprised, but used to seeing people this way, makes him another.

A similar cycle continues for a while, you laughing, Lucifer finishing his drink, and Husk making him a new one.

Eventually, Lucifer gets to the point where he can barely remember where he's at. The only things remaining on his mind are you and your sweet laugh.

Husk and Angel finally decide its time for bed, leaving the two of you alone, still sitting at the bar. You scoot a bit closer, changing to a chair that's beside him.

You notice the way he seems to be out of it. His eyes half lidded, mouth slack, and breathing labored. "You okay..?" You ask. Your thoughts are also all over the place. You probably won't even remember this interaction tomorrow.

He shakes his head and looks to you, blinking himself back to reality. "Y-yeah, I'm good." He laughs and takes yet another sip from the glass in front of him. You've been watching him subtly throughout the night, surprised he hasn't killed himself yet from the amount of alcohol he's consumed.

"I'm surprised you're still conscious." You chuckle, and he remembers why he started drinking in the first place. The light redness on his face from the alcohol burns darker. He chugs down the rest of what's in his glass.

"Uh- yeah.. haha. I have a pretty high tolerance with this stuff." He hiccups, his words slurring ever so slightly. "Y'know, being-" another hiccup "The king of Hell and all." He finished.

You giggle lightly, the liquor in your system making you feel fuzzy and light. He smiles at seeing that he was the one to get that reaction from you.

You both continue to talk for a while, well you do, he mostly just listens, only really focusing on your features; your eyes, hair, lips, anything he can.

Then, out of nowhere, "You're really pretty."

"What?" You ask, a bit flustered. "Where'd that come from?" You question, a small smile still on your lips as you tilt your head.

"I just-" hic "Think you're.. beautiful." He confesses. Your face flushes pink as you rack through your brain trying to find a response. "O-oh.. thank you!" You curse yourself for stuttering.

He leans forward, face only inches from yours. His face is red and his eyes are droopy. He looks like he's about to pass out. "And- your smile. Its gorgeous. It's-" hic "A shame you don't smile often. If every word I said could make you smile, or laugh, I'd never stop talking." He slurs.

"Lucifer, what are you on about?" You question with a bit of a nervous giggle. He smiles and brings a hand up to hold your cheek. You don't protest.

"I mean I like you. Like, really like you. I don't remember the last time I ever felt this way about someone other than Lilith." He smiles softly at you. "You could even say that, I love you."

You freeze and your brain short circuits. He.. loves you? The king of hell, loves... you? You can't wrap your head around it at all. Seeing how you react, Lucifer somewhat comes to his senses. "Shit. I- uhm." He pulls away from you and looks down to his dangling feet. "I probably shouldn't have came on that strong. I'm sorry. I understand if you don't wanna-" He's cut off by the feeling of your lips on his. His eyes widen in surprise, but his hand eventually finds it way back to its previous spot on your cheek and he pulls you in closer.

Once you pull away, he comes back to reality and he tries to speak, but fails to form a single word. You take it as an opportunity to talk instead. "I guess you could say that I love you too." You smile widely.

Lucifer just pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you and vowing to never let you hide that beautiful smile of yours ever again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so glad I was finally able to get this out. It was a bit rushed at the end, and I'm not too haply with it but I figured this is the best it's gonna get so mind as well not fuss over it anymore.

Once again thank you so much for the request, and for anyone else that has sent any in I promise I'll start working on them and hopefully have one or two out by the end of this week.

Just a warning that I do have finals coming up, so as before I might not be as active with writing, but I'll try my best to do what I can. Sorry I was gone for so long!!

{Taglist}

@wonderlandangelsposts

[saranilssonbooks]

100 Moby-Dick covers ranked by your's truly. Thank you so much to all those of you who sent in contributions and helped make this completely out of proportion project a thing. Jars of angelic spermaceti for everyone! 🤍

As for the ranking, it is purely the result of my own personal taste in aesthetics and heavily influenced by my perception of the story. Add to that a generous amount of sentimentality, as shall be apparent.

What I have been mainly looking at in judging the designs is as follows...

- General appearance; is it attractive? 💕

- Does it help sufficiantly communicate the nature of the story (theme, genre, mood, plot)? ⚰️

- Is it canon? (Meaningful creative licence perfectly allowed!) ✅️

As for the tiers themselves, we have...

Topmost Greatness: this is something out of the ordinary, possibly genius and also I neeeeed it for my collection!

A: Good, good stuff, but might lack that very extra special something

B: Gets the job done, agreeable, totally okay.

C: It's not exactly bad and I'll let that oopsie over there slide, but I probably wouldn't pay much for this one.

You Had One Job: Yeah, you did.

Should Never Have Surfaced: Makes the Pequod tragedy look like a merry holiday.

Art thou ready?

TOPMOST GREATNESS

1. The most beautiful Moby-Dick cover I've ever seen. I was almost tempted to create a tier higher than Topmost Greatness only so that I could place it there.

2. Brilliant composition and color choice, despite its simplicity it hits me straight in the soul.

3. I remember drooling over this in the book store back in the day and considered reading it only because it was so gorgeous. Manages to be both crowded and clean at the same time. Story instantly recognizable.

4. The classiest of all time? Forever a winner!

5. I show the image of this one to people to make them understand the creative brilliancy that thrives within the Moby-Dick community.

6. Captures the mood in a fittingly crooked, awkward way that makes my heart beat faster. (Also reminds me of my copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest for some reason.)

7. Another sort of awkward one, but I love the style, I love the surreal combination of drama and stiffness, pretty fitting the story itself. Makes 'Hab look a bit like the Grim Reaper.

8. The erratic painting technique gives me the perfect kind of crazy vibes.

9. Moby-Dick, a bibliophile's dream, topmost mood nailing, superior dark academia accessory... what more could anyone wish for in a book?

10. So well thought out and the claustrophobic feel helps to create an unsettling mood despite the otherwise quite cheery colors. Sorry, Madagascar.

11. Look, my two main areas of Moby-Dick interest is Ahab and rhe psychology, so... y'know.

12. Mood certainly set.

13. Guess I have a thing for harpoon/eye symbolism. Again that claustrophobic feel by leaving only a sliver of crowded surface.

14. First physical Moby-Dick copy I ever bought. All the books in this Penguin series are gorgeous, but to me this is one of the design winners regardless of the contents.

15. Unsettled in all this tropical serenity yet?

16. The boldness in color choice and to focus on the fire theme is as unusual as it is exciting, and the very modern touch makes it even more interesting!

A.

17. Not normally a style I'm drawn to, but somehow this manages to capture my interest. A successful nod to the painting at the Spouter Inn, lovely line work. My sibling got me this one as a locket for my last b-day.

18. My beloved companion, by now containing almost as much tape as paper. The 19th century poster design is irresistable to me. A white tail would've been even cooler though.

19. It's not that unique looking, yet the worn feel and harpooned Moby Dick simply gets to me somehow.

20. All the crucial elements skillfully and effectivly forged (no pun intended) together.

21. The way the psychology has been captured and the missing leg detail is yum!

22. Kind of busy but so unique and interesting! Yes plz.

23. Another classic! How could Kent's iconic whale ever fail?

24. Aiming for the adventure theme, it appears, and successfully so. Unusual color choice which I happen to be all about. Total vintage feel!

25. Again, not that much is happening, but the ropes, the character design, the inking... I love you, cover, and I need you in my life!

26. An often used scene, but the style gets to me so, so bad.

27. I'm not that much about the washed out color, but the rest is love.

28. Very basic, but also very nice and display friendly and I enjoy the vibe so much.

29. Almost made it to Topmost, but the positioning of the illustration gives off a cheap feel to me. Why couldn't you have used that gorgeous theme depiction to better advantage? Can one order a remake? Or a cropped poster?

30. Love the composition so much but the technique simply doesn't do it quite enough for me to move up one full notch. Still want it so bad for the collection though.

31. Runny ink on pure white is something I associate with Moby-Dick, don't know why. The blotchiness is a really great touch.

32. The design doesn't say much concerning the content, but nevertheless it is so pretty and am I correct when I say there's harpoon vibes?

33. Had that been a white whale, it would've ended up under Topmost!

34. My first reaction to this was that it's a really interesting piece of art, but I wasn't so sure I liked it as much in book cover form. The more I look at it, the more intrigued and enamoured I get. I want more of this.

35. Ahab and Moby Dick from Ahab's POV? Love the distorted psychedelic atmosphere, but another one with missed full illustration use potential.

B.

36. Brings back the menory of cigarettes and fear. Granny the Gregory Peck fan owned one of these and it freaked me out where she kept it on display ever after I'd been forced to watch the movie at age 6. Now I want one just for the hell of it.

37. Okay, so hear me out. I know it's a children's book, but the illustrator obviously knew the story. Love the tangling rope and that Ahab's prosthetic leg seems made out of whale bone rather than wood for once.

38. Nice modern touch, but that's straight up the New Bedford whaler statue, which kinda ruins it for me.

39. Lovely, lovely design, but I simply don't associate it with a story about suicidal tendencies, gore, and mass death.

40. A somewhat unusual character choice to pose on a cover, but hey, I'll take it! :D

41. Doesn't pop, but I do like me some traditional Japanese art vibes!

42. Elegant, but the huge M obscures the title text and the harpoon looks as if crossed with a sewing needle.

43. Basic, but the feel is there and I like the color combination for this story.

44. Love the art and it's impossible not to identify which story this is, but I have several Ahab design choice questions which won't leave me.

45. This whole thing is odd and busy, but I also really like it!

46. Speaking of Japanese traditional art. The lines and the moodiness is much to my liking.

47. Simple, spot on, nothing that extra.

48. If only he hadn't looked so damn happy about it as if Ahab was about to throw that harpoon like a stick for him to fetch. Untold plot line??

49. There is this whole sub genre of Moby Dick balancing the Pequod, a concept that certainly works, but by now it has to have that little extra something to seem truly special.

50. We have a less erroneous whale, folks! It may be a stock image, but Ishmael gave this one thumbs up, and so how could I possibly do differently? Nicely done!

51. First, I get strong The Old Man and the Sea impressions. Second, what kind of whale do you intend to kill with that thing, my dude? Points for canonical end game beard though.

52. I assume this is meant as a traditional Polynesian art style nod in honor of our dear Queequeg. The sports wear lining texture in the title letters confuses me though.

53. There certainly are plenty of canon here, but also, this is some odd mayhem and where are you aiming, Captain? Yay, ivory leg again!

54. Basic, works perfectly fine.

55. This is a really odd scene choice to pick for a cover, but I love this edition and its illustrations to bits. In fact, I'm planning on posting a review of it soon.

C.

56. I haven't peeked into Melville's mind, but I'm pretty sure the Pequod looked quite different. The story is unmistakable though.

57. Nothing wrong with it, I guess, but way too messy for me to be comfortable with.

58. Not much to say here, but a perfectly nice-looking cover for any book.

59. Gets the job done, but not that inspiring.

60. Despite seemingly little effort behind it, this design based on a 19th century (erroneous) whale drawing could have gone straight up to A. You see, in the original image the (erroneous) whale has his penis (erroneous?) in full view, but on this cover it has been erased. How could I not have given a Moby-Dick book cover depicting dozens of (erroneous) whale dicks A? Alas.

61. Good, professional-looking cover, but judging by the illustration only, I would have guessed this was a children's book about the adventures of a jolly porpoise named Toni.

62. No spoilers to see here or anything. Is that a gold prosthetics??

63. This looks so much like a academic book on psychology. Not too far off, I suppose, but I wouldn't be able to figure out which famous story it is.

64. The Temple toggle harpoon was invented in 1848. Do with this information what you will.

65. Hey! That other cover from before! Have to say that the color alterations and helm sihouette wasn't an improvement.

66. A bit extreme for me.

67. I call this excessive simplicity. If you need a copy of Moby-Dick, you will recognize it at once, but it might not attract new readers merely in itself.

68. Just because it's a children's book doesn't mean the vibe has to be off, but I think it is in this case. Recently posted an example of this illustrator's adorable Ishmael here.

69. Where's the title? Confusing for a cover, but I would love this for a poster of mug! Also, the biggest words are Ahab, Queequeg, and Pequod, which I find mildly insulting towards a certain someone. What was he called again?

70. Cool whale picture which I really like, but the accuracy for Moby-Dick isn't really there.

71. It's blue.

72. I understand the idea and the illustration is awesome, but for me, the vibe is strangely all off and I get almost a comedic feel. Again, that's just me.

73. I often feel like an Ahab apologist and can often be somewhat harsh on the whale, but holy shit! A sort of red herring situation meant to make the reader think Ahab will be the winner?

74. It looks full of action and Scrooge's Ahab cosplay look is really neat, but I have... concerns.

75. I don't remember the scene playing out like this and Ahab is clearly not having it.

YOU HAD ONE JOB

76. The exact face I made the first time I saw this kind of cover.

77. After all the people I've heard at the museum mistaking the sperm whale skeleton for an orca, I'm honestly surprised these fails aren't more common. The snowy setting is a nice touch.

78. Hast seen the white beluga?!

79. First shark Moby-Dick I ever saw and during my first week on Tumblr even. The nostalgia is real, shipmates.

80. Cool scene. Where is it from?

81. Come on! This is a fucking Wordsworth's edition!

82. My sentiments exactly.

83. No, it isn't.

84. At first I seriously thought this was some interesting modern sci-fi/fantasy take on Moby-Dick. Nope.

85. At least the person who did this one bothered to give it a traditional nautical flair.

86. The ocean is canon.

87. *screaming shark mode*

SHOULD NEVER HAVE SURFACED

88. Someone's dad is balancing on top of a fire breathing eel whilst ravens are flying around and a poor guy has dark thoughts in the bottom right corner and... I dunno, man. "Whaling voyage turns fatal obsession" apparently. Moby-Dick the Prequel?

89. Whoa, dude!! I know you're angry, but holy shit!

90. "Captain Ahab? He went that way. Me? Just your average cliché 18th century pirate. If you don't mind me asking, sir, what sort of creature are you?"

91. By "annotated" they mean the truth about Wild Bill Hickok's one time side gig as a whaler. There's a fan fiction idea for ya.

92. What in the everloving AI fuck is happening here?

93. Friends, your guesses are as good as mine.

94. In the early 2020s, the ghost of Melville Herman set out to find the ghost of Moby Dick.

95. I guess we never learned what Ahab's dad died from back in the 18th century. Runs in the family and all that.

96. ?????????

97. If you download a public domain work to sell on Amazon for a possible extra buck, taking one minute to check the basic plot before slapping a stock image on it for a cover will be an actual long term investment.

98. "Lol! U overbite!"

99. Well, he is clearly a zombie whale, so maybe this is the sequel then?

100. And thus endeth MOBY D CK.

[yurislilygarden]

ʚїɞ Self Aware! Hazbin Hotel

ʚїɞ Their reaction after becoming self-aware and first thoughts about reader!

ʚїɞ Angel Dust and Husk / Part 2!

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ Word count: just about 1.1k

ʚїɞ Part 1! (Lucifer and Alastor)

ʚїɞ This is WAY shorter than I would like, but I suppose that the first part was more filler-like for the au😭 May rewrite it one day ngl, am not satisfied with how this turned out but I've been at this for way too long

Very few characters would notice something wrong on the first watch of the show, but wouldn't realize, nor become self-aware until the 2nd or further watch. 

While everyone's reaction would be different with different amounts of stages before total acceptance of the situation, they all would share the first emotion, simple disbelief. They would first need to even process the fact that they're not real, that they were created solely for the purpose of entertaining… something? Someone? In a completely different Universe. That everything that they thought had happened to them before they died didn't actually happen, they were never alive in the first place. Only after that did the emotions and reactions differ. The very first emotion or actual personal reaction would be:

Angel Dust

Irritation, a little bit of Anger, paranoid

Angel would be mainly irritated and somewhat angry due to realizing that all his pain was technically for nothing. The treatment from Val? His life back on earth that supposedly never happened? His life generally in hell? All that pain and suffering just to entertain someone? At first, he doesn't want to accept that it never happened, that he never existed, that he was never actually alive. That he’s just a 2D character. He just can’t.

He would become paranoid after the immense stress from noticing the little butterfly flying above them from time to time came in, after all, he had no way of knowing if he himself or others were watched only when they could see the little glowing motherfucker, or maybe they could be watched even without seeing them, without their knowledge. He would be a little disappointed in himself for not noticing anything earlier, especially since they don’t know just how long have you been watching them. He'd be up for drugs way more than ever, no, he didn't want to disappoint Charlie or anyone else by fucking up the progress he'd been doing, but surely they would understand looking at the whole picture right? He’d rather go back to being blissfully unaware than knowing he's not real if it means he's gonna feel like this. He hates it. He hates you.

At least at the start.

It was soon after he became self-aware that the others realized why he was acting more strangely than normal and filled him in on what they knew, which was barely anything, to tell the truth, but it was enough to get him thinking. Were you as bad as he first thought if you did nothing but watch them the whole time? He will blame Charlie for all the better thoughts of you, but he started thinking, what if you really can't do anything but watch? He knows others have mixed thoughts about what can you do, an example being whether you can only watch, or do you choose to just watch. He's on the ‘can only watch‘ team.

His feelings were mixed for a pretty long time. On one side, he thought he should be against the small glowing thingy, but there's also the other side seeing that you do nothing to them, just watch.

(I would say that he would have a little soft spot if you reminded him of Molly, his sister, but we don’t know anything about her. I’m guessing she was nice/good since she landed in heaven, so yeah, remind him of his sister in some way and there’s a soft spot he tries to hide.)

He was really negative at first, starting out as really irritated, but with time and help from the others (mainly Charlie since she didn't want anyone in the hotel to be against you), he did get to the neutral zone, and by the time any of them meet you, he would be in the more positive neutral zone.

Husk

Anger and worry

To say he's pissed would be the understatement of the century. The moment he processed his, everyone’s, situation and the disbelief passed, he could just feel anger, because how dare someone disregard their feelings, their whole damn existence like that? Do you think that they’re some sort of clowns that are supposed to entertain you?! Like most characters, he’s disappointed in himself as well for not noticing earlier. It’s even worse when there’s others who noticed before him and didn’t say shit.

But as much as he's pissed off, there's actually the feeling of worrying just under. What does it mean for them now that they realize they're just characters in a show, that they find out something they shouldn't? Can it fuck up their life on this side? Can it fuck up the whole city or more because of this? Should they try to continue living like they don't know shit or try to communicate with you or your world? Similar to Lucifer's, his mind is a mess.

Like everyone, he hates the idea, the knowledge, of the fact that they all are just some 2D characters created to be in some sort of a show to entertain people. Did that mean that his whole past of being an Overlord didn’t happen at all? That his supposed memories of that time were fake? Could he have been free from the deal if he had an actual choice in his actions?

He would keep reminding himself all the time about their situation even if he doesn’t want to, his mind just goes there without permission. He feels his skin crawl thinking about all the time that they’ve been watched, controlled, without knowing, for who knows how long. He would be in the middle when it comes to when all of the characters became self-aware, there were some before him, but there were also some people after him.

Reader can only see what they're meant to, and the characters realize it over time, but Husk knowing it leads to him sometimes trying to catch the small glowing butterfly in his paws when he is off screen/camera for you. Which he fails at every time as his hands just phase through your small form.

The others can just occasionally see him jumping up and down trying to catch the little shit or use his wings and try to catch your small form like that just to fail every single time.

Like with everyone else, you could have a small personal favor. You would have a sort of a plus point in his mind if you turned out to like gambling or card games, he would find the idea of playing with/against you somewhat enjoyable (he would think of gambling for answers, a deal where the one who wins a round will ask a question and the other has to answer to the best of their capability).

It would take longer than most, even with the others trying to help, to get him to the neutral zone, never mind the positive one. It was hard for him to see you in any other light than negative when they had so little information on you, for all they could know, what little they had could’ve been completely wrong. So his feelings start at practically despising you, then after a longer time going into simply not caring as much, shrugging off, if you will, and that wouldn’t change too much until he meets reader personally.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

｡⋆｡˚ ʚ Taglist ɞ ˚｡⋆｡

@laundrybear413

[that-tmr-girl]

Quiet Down

Despite thinking he's being sneaky, it's obvious what Thomas is doing in the showers.

Masterbation

Thomas didn't have the best ideas all the time. Sure. Sometimes they were fine, but he didn't always think them though.

He should realistically realize that no amount of water could cover the sound of him jerking off faster than he could run, his hand moving up and down on his dick as he carelessly moaned. That really should be obvious, but for some reason it wasn't. Maybe because he couldn't think straight. Not until he had a release. Plus, he had never been caught before. Not that he knew of at least.

Groaning and grunting, he kept stroking himself, his eyes half shut in pleasure. He could feel himself getting closer to his release as he frantically tried to speed up.

You definitely heard. How could you not?

After a long day of being outside, sweating a ridiculous amount, you couldn't find the ability to care anymore. It was honestly easier to just try to take your own shower and pretend you couldn't hear Thomas a few doors down, going at himself. You just tried to wash yourself off, wishing that the sounds were blocked out the way he seemed to believe.

He twitched in his hand as he was right there. With his eyes completely shut, he envisioned you, something he knew he shouldn't do but couldn't help. For some reason, it seemed to be the only way to finish, the only way to push him over the edge.

“Shuck, Y/N,”He loudly moaned, his head thrown back as he finished. Your eyes were wide as your face warmed at the realization.

When you heard him stop, you sighed to yourself before finishing up your shower. Shaking your head at the way you had actually heard Thomas masterbate to the thought of you, you dressed so you could get ready for dinner.

Having just finished rewashing himself, Thomas threw on new, fresh clothes, feeling just a little more relaxed than before. He couldn't help but think that he had definitely needed that and after being in the maze all day, earned it even.

He walked out to where everyone was eating, his posture significantly more relaxed than it had been the entire day.

He couldn't quite look you in the eyes despite sitting beside you, which is probably good. A little bit of shame was probably needed, but he was sure he would be completely back to normal and better than ever in a few hours.

“Ready to do that all over again tomorrow?”Minho asked.

“What?”He asked quickly, his heart racing at the thought that anyone knew.

“You know? Go running again?”He clarified.

“Oh. That,”He said, heaving a sigh of relief as he slightly leaned back with his plate still in his hand.

“Yes. That,”Minho deadpanned, rolling his eyes a little.

“Yeah. I mean I've got to be, right?”He shrugged.

“Yeah. You do,”He nodded, taking the last bite of his food. You watched him empty his bowl while almost being ready to do the same. You couldn't help but think that if Thomas hadn't been so busy pleasuring himself he could have beaten all of you for dinner. Instead, he’ll be the last one with food.

Standing up, Minho gave you a half hearted wave before going to give his plate to Fry. You nodded your head as acknowledgement before going back to your meal.

Thomas’s heart was just beginning to calm down in his chest. He silently reassured himself that nobody knew as he started eating in silence with you. The shower blocked out the sound, and he was totally fine.

You finished the last bite as well, closing your eyes for a moment to savor it. When you swallowed you sighed a little bit at the way another successful day had been completed.

You glanced over at Thomas for a moment. As you saw him leaning back, eating without a care in the world, you decided he was too relaxed.

“I highly doubt Minho would ask if you were ready to jerk off in the showers again, though seeing as you're delusional enough to think water covers up the sound of your moans, I can't say I’m surprised you thought that,”You whispered in his ear. He turned beat red as he choked on his food for a moment. Paying it no mind, you clapped him on the back before getting up to also get your plate cleaned off.

Thomas watched in absolute horror as every part of him burned.

It looks like he has to find a new place to pleasure himself. Or at the very least, not moan so damn loud.

[sky-high-standards]

Hi, i saw your requests open and i've been thinking what i should request but an idea came up to me.

What about singer reader x yandere fans? I think is a great idea.

Ah apart from that, what's ur favorite song?

Yandere!!Fans x Singer reader

Thank you so much for requesting and my favorite song is currently either the Daddy issues remix or Everything I wanted.

Yep I decided to redo this thing and I may make it a reverse harem

No one expected you to blow up you took the industry by storm your humble beginning and charming persona first got you a small fan base on TikTok then you only got more and more popular and here you are now sitting pretty on a talk show the bright lights blinding you as the host looks at you eagerly itching to start this interview.

Welcome back everyone today we have hit idol Y/n S/n here with us

The crowd roared when they heard your name thousands of people here just for you their beloved idol.

Host: So y/n what's it like to have such success so quick and young.

Y/n: it's pretty overwhelming that's for sure but I have my adoring and loyal fans supporting me.

You said and smiled at the audience and that sent them over the edge your fans were always quite insane lively but they meant well they got you your success in the first place who are you to complain but idol life was tough enough and you weren't exactly thrilled to see your Instagram filled with desperate fans begging for your attention everyday some even threatening to commit suicide if you didn't reply.

And the things they'd throw on stage when you performed were sometimes sweet like a teddy bear or roses and other times not so sweet the day you were preforming and got hit in the face with a dildo is a day you'll never forget...you still shudder st the memory.

And the amount of secret getaway houses you own are concerningly high since an extra persistent can always manges to follow you home no matter how many detours and lane switches you take.

No one said being famous was easy and all fans act like this right?

It's totally normal that they worship you like a God and it's totally normal to know jars of your sweat and used pads are being sold for millions on the dark and what celebrity doesn't have a dab try to kidnap them twice a week.

And you'd think you'd have your bodyguards preventing most of these things but unfortunately they're fans too and it's common to find your bodyguards being a little too close and going through your dirty laundry...

But unbelievably enough there were certain fans that stood out among the rest in the worst ways possible these fans will do anything and I mean anything for your acknowledgment oh you have an extra mean troll sending nasty comments no less then a day later they send an apology and they've mysteriously gone missing you signed an undeserving fans merch? they were immediately talked down and beaten up for it.

Completely normal fans ☺️

[voidbeau]

Here's a silly wold building head cannon I've been holding onto for a while. I've always thought the Void would have weird af weather patterns and phenomenons.

Weird af to anyone who hasn't lived an extended amount of time in the Void at least.

These can range from totally harmless and silly things like, very literal weather "patterns" which can look like a checker board sky of cloud and clear sky.

Each square patch of cloud is a different kind of precipitation.

Rain in one patch, snow in the other, hail in the third and so on and so forth.

Of course the Void has "normal" weather as well and this will predominantly be the case in many Voids, but there are special warnings for special kinds of atmospheric phenomenon.

Like specific types of fogs and mists that may come with adverse effects on a creature if out too long in it.

"The red mist will be rolling in tonight at about 6pm over Void 87.

All residents are advised to stay indoors and keep your windows shut and sealed until it passes.

If any residents are seen wandering outside, do not approach.

Aggression levels in resident's that have undergone prolonged red fog exposure should return to normal as soon as the fog passes.

Again, do not approach."

Or my favourite phenomenon, The Darkness ™️

Another event that keeps residents locked up in their homes.

A weather event that is exactly what it sounds like: Total darkness.

Just a pitch black pall over an entire Void, leaving residents completely reliant on artificial sources of light.

But watch out!

Stay within the inner most rooms of your home.

Keep all curtains closed and all lights off in any room that has a window.

Do not look outside.

Do not leave your home.

Do not open your door for anyone.

Do not let the Darkness know you're there.

Every citizen of the Void knows not to take The Darkness lightly.

If you hear a knock at your door or voices through your window begging to be let in, most resident's understand that it's best to ignore these pleas.

The Darkness is crafty and the Darkness is resourceful.

It will use any and all means necessary to reach you. The Darkness, it's illusions and the host of entities it brings with it.

Stay hidden and stay in the light.

Luckily, The Darkness only persists for a few hours at most before it passes!

But it may leave behind lingering entities, so always make sure to do a thorough sweep of your Void when the light returns!

[doberbutts]

I just wanted to say thank you for a refreshing take on the “you shouldn’t write [demographic] if you’re not [demographic]” thing! I once saw someone say that people who aren’t gay men should never write stories that touch on the experiences/struggles of gay men, and I just can’t agree? I’m a gay man myself and while I’m always going to be excited about stories that touch on those topics that are written by gay men, I’m also going to be excited about those kinds of stories if they’re written by other people! Sure, they may not get everything correct, but if they’re committed to accurately portraying the experiences of gay men, then I don’t see what the problem is. They’re learning and taking care to understand an experience that isn’t theirs. And if they’re just writing a fictional story, then it’s not like they’re trying to say they’re an Expert/Official Voice of the experience?

Obviously there are many people who don’t do their due diligence in writing certain experiences of demographics they are not part of, but I don’t think that means it should be completely barred off as something people can do. We should be encouraging people to learn about different demographics and their experiences, not discouraging them.

I think a lot of times it comes from a place of having seen bad rep after bad rep and feeling like at least someone sharing a demographic would be a little better about it, and I don't think it's necessarily wrong to want own voices to have a significant amount of pull in the discussion.

However. Hmm. How do I put it?

When I first started playing BG3 something I noticed was how common skin "blemishes" and vitiligo were in the NPCs. Now I don't know if any of the writers or dev team have these common blemishes. But vitiligo is really very uncommon to see on fictional characters period, and it appears to be really nicely represented with how it tends to appear and what parts of the skin it affects the most. And I remember thinking that was a nice touch.

I personally find these types of "blemishes" very attractive. I have a bunch of beauty marks and moles and I think they look great. I've put them on my characters since I was a little kid, I remember lamenting that I didn't have a beauty mark on my face and now I have two. I used to tell everyone who would listen about the light patch of skin on my leg as my birthmark, and now it's mostly tanned and hidden by hair so it's not nearly so visible as it used to be, and I was saddened by that when I first realized that you couldn't really see my birthmark anymore. I used to be able to run a list of every mark and mole and spot and patch on my body, and now I have more than I can count, and I find myself really happy about that.

You don't see them represented much in fiction or fantasy. But they're everywhere in BG3, it's more common to find characters with these marks than without. And idk if any of the dev team are among the people who have been tormented mercilessly for having "flawed" "imperfect" skin, but I also don't think it's a bad thing even if they didn't. These are perfectly normal things that people have on their skin and it's the first time I've seen characters just walking by my own as if they're normal. And yeah, why wouldn't they be totally disregarded as nothing to be preoccupied with when there's people walking around with far weirder things going on with their skin than a few patches of no pigment on their mouth or hands?

[jae-bummer]

An Absolute Pinecone

Request: 2,7,8 vernon?

Prompt:

2) "Don't look at them. Look at me."

7) "We really need to stop meeting like this."

8) "I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you."

Pairing: Seventeen Vernon x Reader

Genre: Fluff

.

Taking a deep breath, you shouldered your way into the crowded restaurant. There was no special occasion to celebrate, no person you were going to meet for a few drinks. It was just you and your endless thoughts driving you toward some form of comfort.

The restaurant had been your favorite before, and it was still allowed to be your favorite after. Just because you dragged some guy you were dating here nearly every weekend he had off, didn't mean the place was tainted now. He probably didn't even remember where it was, let alone that they had a pork nurungji gangjeong that he was obsessed with.

Big, stupid, dumb boy who definitely didn't trash your heart and totally understood every reason you gave for breaking up.

Navigating toward the host stand, you took a place in line and crossed your arms. Normally you made reservations for a place so popular, but today, you had every intention of perching yourself at the bar and having a dinner for one.

"You know, we really need to stop meeting like this," a familiar voice chimed behind you.

You closed your eyes and attempted to stifle the groan forming in the back of your throat. Why was he here?

"Hey," you managed, turning around.

Hansol Vernon Chwe.

You couldn't help it as your eyes roamed over his body. It was infuriating how someone who could make you feel so bad could simultaneously look so good.

Your relationship has begun to fall apart only a few weeks ago. It originally seemed like the two of you were a good fit. He was one of the goofiest people you had ever met and was so authentically Vernon. He knew how to make you laugh and even better, knew how to laugh at himself.

The two of you managed to live in the bubble of your own world for a while. You knew in the long run it wouldn't be easy to date someone in his profession. It took an immense amount of patience, understanding, and communication. You both were great at those first two points, but communication had become increasingly difficult.

Vernon tended to have a very one-track thought process. He was constantly lost in his own world, and if something wasn't happening directly in front of him, it was often out of sight out of mind. With his recording, practicing, and touring, you were very often that thing that was forgotten.

"Hey," he said pleasantly.

You watched as a boxy grin appeared easily on his handsome face. After all you had said to him (and regretted), he still could look upon you fondly.

"How-How are you?" you asked. You could do pleasantries. He wasn't a nefarious villain or anything.

"I've been better," he chuckled, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets. "What about you?"

"Great," you lied with a small nod. "Things are-"

"Good evening," the hostess cut you off. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Oh no," you said quickly, motioning over to the bar. "I was going to-"

"Actually, we do," Vernon nodded as he stepped forward. "It's under Hansol Chwe."

You looked to him with wide eyes, doing your best to not panic. Why on earth would he think you wanted to have dinner with him? Why would HE want to have dinner with YOU?

"It's okay, you really don't have to-"

"Excellent, I found you in the system," the hostess smiled. "Follow me."

Vernon began to follow and looked back at you with a sly smile. He lifted his brows quickly as if to say, "want to make a bad decision"? You felt your mouth open, but swiftly close. Struggling over your own feet, your body had decided to follow.

"Alright, well, you're all set!" the hostess nodded. "Someone from the wait staff will be with you shortly."

Nonchalantly picking up the menu in front of him, Vernon began to scan the food options. You narrowed your eyes, completely flabbergasted with him.

"I wanted to say this in a kind way," you said slowly. He glanced at you over his menu and waited. "But honestly, Vernon, what the fuck?"

He immediately grinned and let out a small huff of amusement. "Did you not want to have dinner tonight?"

"Not with you!" you gasped. "We broke up. You were there. Don't you remember?"

"Of course, I do," he said, his smile immediately evaporating from his features. It felt like a punch to the gut knowing you were the cause for its disappearance. "You probably couldn't see with everyone standing around, but the bar was full."

"Oh," you said weakly. You played nervously with the corners of your menu. "I...I didn't mean to crash your evening. You made a reservation for yourself?"

"Nope, both of us," he hummed, his eyes never leaving the menu.

"B-Both of us?" you stuttered. "What do you mean?"

Vernon looked up again, his eyes finally meeting yours. "I've booked a reservation at this restaurant every weekend since we broke up. Party of two, usually an actual party of one staying for the whole meal."

You lifted your brows and remained silent. How were you supposed to handle that information?

"I didn't know when you were coming back," he sighed. "But I wanted to be here when you did."

"Why?"

You felt completely lost. The two of you had only been broken up for two or three weeks at this point, but to come to this place in hopes of bumping into each other...you weren't sure if it was delusional or kind of sweet.

This time Vernon sat down his menu and swiveled his body toward you. "Because I've been an absolute pinecone. Your words, not mine, but pretty accurate."

You went to speak but couldn't find the words. This may had been the creepiest way to go about seeing you again, but admittedly, you hadn't given him a whole lot of options.

Vernon chewed the corner of his lip, obviously uncomfortable with your silence. His brows furrowed as he waited.

"Are you two ready to order?" your server asked, finally appearing at your booth. You looked to Vernon who was still focused on you, and then back up to the server.

"I think we need a few minutes."

"Y/N," Vernon sighed. He reached forward in an attempt to grab your hands, but immediately stopped himself. Withdrawing them back to his lap, you could see a blush creeping up his neck. Somehow you had managed to completely fluster him without saying a word at all. Clearing his throat, he tried to start again. "I...um...I didn't really understand until you had stopped returning my calls."

You shook your head, unsure of what he meant.

"The silence stung," he admitted. "But it was effective. I've been wanting to just...be with you...like in the same room. It was actually becoming an ache.

"Vernon," you croaked. You had been thinking that you were the only one who had felt that awful brand of heartbreak. You thought he would go back to his normal routines, go back to being the chaotic golden doodle of a boy that he was.

"Let me finish," he whispered, clearly gathering his confidence again. "I put you on the back burner way more than what was fair. I didn't even realize how it was making you feel...even when you told me. I thought it couldn't be as bad as you said. Then I went into my phone and saw how many times I hadn't remembered to text you or call you back..."

"You're an idol," you interrupted. You felt guilt knowing that he was now experiencing the same things you had. Sure, you could hurt from it, but you still loved him enough to want to protect him. "I knew what I had signed up for...I'm just not the person who can withstand it I guess."

"But you could," he insisted. "If I had supported you."

Intaking a deep breath, you let it out slowly. You looked down to your hands now clenched in your own lap. You had spoken for hours when you had finally broken up. You tried to make him understand how unhappy things were, but he had never seen it. He insisted that even when he was busy, you had been at the forefront of his mind. You were a window always open in his browser, just not one he got to click that often. To him, that meant that he did love you and he was paying attention...

...and you hadn't even thought to give him the chance to do better.

"I saw you looking at this the last time we were in the store together," he said quietly. Standing up, he pulled a small box from his pocket. Thinking for a moment, he chose to abandon his seat and sit back down in the booth beside you. He was cautious as he scooted closer, waiting for you to stop him. "So I got it for you."

You focused on the sadness in his eyes before looking down. In the small box sat a dainty necklace, a small charm hanging from the chain.

"I know you're not the type to have your affections bought," he continued. "But I thought that maybe this would help show you that I am paying attention. I do have a crazy amount of interest in you...I've just been a real dick about it."

"Vernon, I-" you began. Your thoughts were a whirlwind. It was difficult to think with him this close. He smelled so good and exuded such warmth. He was a ray of sunshine, and he was ready to do the work. It had taken time to get him there, but he really understood.

"Say yes," a girl squeaked at the table to the left of you.

You and Vernon looked from her and back to each other with wide eyes. "Does she think-"

"Say yes!" she said a little louder, clasping her hands before her chest.

You smiled to yourself before looking up at Vernon who was already laughing. Your eyes met and both of you fell silent.

"Let's do this," you whispered. Before you could think better of it, you grabbed his neck and yanked him forward. The passion behind his kiss was unmatched. He had clearly missed you and wanted to put all of that pent up energy into your lips.

You could tell he wanted to convey every promise he could. He wanted you to know that he was sorry and he was going to make this right. The long kiss morphed into more rushed, short kisses as his lips tried to get more and more of yours. It took a moment to remember where you were, but you quickly realized as you heard applause erupt around you.

"Congratulations!" the girl from the opposite booth yelled over the din. "Oh my God, I've always wanted to see an engagement in person!"

"An engagement," you croaked, your eyes whipping to Vernon. This caused him to laugh loudly. You looked back over to the girl and immediately tried to correct her. "No, we-"

Your eyes swept across the restaurant. Families, couples, and staff looked upon you kindly.

"Hey," Vernon whispered. He pressed a few fingers to your jaw and directed your focus back to him. "Don't look at them, look at me."

You took a deep breath, ready to argue about the ridiculousness of this entire situation.

"We're totally not engaged," he grinned. "But think of the free dessert we'll probably get if we let them think we are."

[answersfromzestual]

***Educational Purposes Only***

Normal questions for phallo (my personal experience, and facts)

"Do you feel anything?" - yes, I feel everything from touch, stroking, temperature, pain, pressure, pleasure, gusts of cold air. They do disconnect and reconnect nerves, so it does take time (years) depending on how you heal to have complete sensation. But you always have sensation there even beforr you are fully healed. I found the Urethral Lengthening Procedure and the Implants (erectile device and prothetic testicle). It took probably 3 years after all of the procedures for me to have what is called "complete tactile function".

"How do you get erect?" - it's a pump, after they create the scrotum (they use the labia for this), you get your pump installed into your main hand side (ex. My pump is on the right testie), and the other testie is just an implant. I squeeze my pump (or my partner), and then saline water is pumped from the testicle into two tubes (one on each side on my penis). Creating a natural looking erection besides having to pump. It only takes about six pumps for me. Doesn't take much effort. I have a three part inflatable device.

"How do you "deflate"/ go down after an erection" -on the testie that is the pump, there is a small button above it, it is actually kind of a small box with a button on it. I hold the button for about 15 seconds and just let my erection naturally go down.

"How many surgeries does it take?" - well, I guess four in total. You have your hysterectomy (which included for me a complete oophorectomy as well, recent advancements in this procedure have made it so an oophorectomy is now optional), then your phalloplasty the building and attaching of the phallis and vaginectomy only at this part. The next surgery was to connect my urethral, called urethra lengthening. The last surgery was to install the penile pump and testicular implant.

"What are the chances it will fall off?" - less than 1% in the hands of a skilled surgeon. (My surgeon told me this information as the source) - note post operative care is the most important part of healing properly.

"Where did they take the skin?" - they took the skin for my phallis from my forearm and used a thin layer of the skin on my upper thigh to cover the tissue left exposed on my arm.

"Do you have any issues today?" - No issues, I've been finished for quite a bit now. I enjoy sex, it feels good. It looks good. I've never been clocked even naked in a locker room. I do dribble sometimes if I hurry while urinating, and I have to use a special technique to ensure 100% emptiness, but I can pee just fine. I found the installation of the pump helps me urinate easier than without.

"Can you ejaculate?" - Yup! I can, at least. I also have pre-ejaculate. I ejaculate almost everytime I orgasm. (With this said, the ability to ejaculate, amount of, and frequency of are all variable factors that can depend on person to person)

"Is the orgasm different?" -yes! It feels better to me. It could be comfort, but ejaculating does feel good when you orgasm. Ejaculating can vary from person to person. This ejacuate is not like cis men's, it is a clear fluid from the Skenes Glands.

"Did you have any major issues?" - not really, I did have to see a wound clinic for my implant surgery. I had wounds that needed care. I got a bladder infection with the catheter during the healing stage of urethral lengthening and had it removed after just over two weeks (it was supposed to be in for six weeks), as a reference though one of my urine bags broke and I had a plastic baggie to try to repair it until I could get a replacement (i had to wait hours), I also have a compromised immune system. For my arm, I wore my compression sleeve 100% of the time, and my arm healed extremely well and flat. You just need to listen to the rules and be sure not to break them.

"Do you have to do anything (e.g weekly)?" - sorta, I have to make sure I pump fully once a week.

"Any issues urinating?" - nope, takes some getting used to, though (standing). I find that I dribble, but it's only when I'm rushing when I shake. I still sit most of the time, it's even very common in cis men as an FYI. (I asked a large group of cismen)

"Does it look real?" -Yes, my wife said she never would have known I was trans until I told her. All penises look different. Even getting an erection looks natural.

"Did you have any corrective surgeries?" -No, I got pretty great results the first time. I do plan on going to closer, regular plastic surgeon to put in a larger implant as my left testicle (non-pumping side).

Have any of your own questions? Send me an ask, I'll be happy to answer!

Stay Golden Everyone ✌️💙💜

[iwachansfavoritealien]

The "kawa" Issue - A Seijoh4 Short Story

Rating - Teen and up audiences 💛

Matsukawa Issei stepped into the Volleyball gym of Aoba Johsai High, marking the first day of his high school Volleyball career. The gym was remarkably bigger than what he had back in middle school, but Aoba Johsai was a rather elite school - to put it lightly - so Matsukawa supposed it's normal.

You see, Matsukawa never was one who "lived off of" playing Volleyball, so to speak. He wasn't one of those obsessive people who practically threw themselves around, working themselves beyond their limits, going above and beyond everything to master the sport like nothing else mattered. Don't get him wrong, he loves Volleyball, he plays well, but just for fun. Whether or not he makes it to regulars here, won't bother him much. So he wasn't really nervous about today.

It seemed like, even though a coach wasn't present, or that apparantly half of the team hasn't arrived yet, the guys who were present were already doing some drills; passing, serving and some even practicing quicks and blocking. Matsukawa's eyes sweeped across the gym to land on three other first-years, clad in green tracksuits like him, different from the rest - by the benches. Two were sitting together on the farthest bench, having some sort of an argument. One had chocolate brown near perfect silk-like hair styled into cowlicks - that he probably spends a decent amount of hair products on - that fell across his milky forehead like those models on fashion magazines, while the other, slightly tanner, had spiky jet black short hair and an impressive scowl etched across his face. Matsukawa couldn't make out the words, but it seemed like Spiky was lecturing Cowlicks, who kept pouting and sending jabs back.

The other was a pink-haired guy who was watching the bickering lovebirds with mild interest and, since Matsukawa was doing the same thing, he went to sit beside Pinkie.

"Hey Pinkie." Matsukawa sat and put his bag down. Pinkie whipped around, and a smirk broke across his face. Matsukawa could feel the all too familiar tug at his lips, forming his own smirk in return.

"Hey there Eyebrows," Pinkie wiggled his pink eyebrows, causing Matsukawa to snort. "It's Matsukawa actually."

"Alright, Matsukawa Eyebrows. Nice to meet ya. It's Hanamaki by the way."

"Nice to meet ya too, Hanamaki Pinkie."

They both grinned at each other, eyes shining with matching mirth. Matsukawa was pretty sure he has never met Pinkie before, but the banter came so easily, he could've known the guy forever.

"...kawa I'm telling you-"

Matsukawa started, pretty sure that someone called him, but when he scanned around the gym, no one was looking at him. huh.

"Hey, why so jumpy?" Pinkie grinned. "Though I could totally understand if I triggered your gay awakening," he winked.

Matsukawa chuckled. "Nah, figured that out a long time ago." He shot another searching look around the gym, to no avail. "Just thpught someone called me, must've misheard."

"Ah. I see. Someone was probably talking about getting their eyebrows dyed pink."

"Can't imagine why anyone would." Matsukawa said with a shit-eating grin.

"Why indeed." Pinkie laughed, then gestured at Spiky punching Cowlicks' arm. "What's up with those two anyway? The unresolved sexual tension is driving me mad, and I've only been here for like five minutes."

"Wouldn't be the first time two "bros" had skulls too thick to realize they just wanna jump each other," Matsukawa deadpanned.

"Or maybe they already kissed and they think its just a friendship kiss or something," Pinkie mused.

"Like completely straight bro pals."

"No homo."

"Just bromo."

"Dude."

"Pal."

"My man."

"Gay? Neer heard of it. We just homies."

"And we were roomies. Roomies my ass."

"It's a nice ass," Matsukawa chirped back, causing Pinkie to laugh.

"...sikawa!"

Matsukawa started again. Is he hearing things or did it sound like-

"Oi," Pinkie poked him. "Is that imaginary guy talking about eyebrows again?"

"...kinda."

"Stupidkawa, will you just-"

This time, Pinkie heard it too, because he stilled next to Matsukawa.

"...what the fuck was that?"

"I don't know man, no one's ever insulted me like that before." Matsukawa is someone with an incredible sense of humour, alright. He could always appreciate a good joke, would rather kill time planning a prank that will end him up in jail tahn doing his homework, memorizes more memes than Ed Sheeran has followers on instagram. Still, he had no idea how someone from Aoba Johsai other than Pinkie knew his name and fucking edited it into snappy nicknames that were getting more and more concerning by the second.

"Assikawa!"

Pinkie bursts into laughter, and so does Matsukawa, although still very confused. Assikawa, really? What's next?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The names got rather creative throughout practice.

Matsukawa also learnt that Pinkie was Hanamaki Takahiro, Spiky was Iwaizumi Hajime, and Cowlicks was Oikawa Tooru.

"Assikawa" "Trashykawa" "Idiotkawa" "Lazykawa" "Crappykawa" "Shittykawa"

Matsukawa never believed in ghosts. Yet, he wondered if the gym was haunted. Everywhere he was, the voice folowed him, insulting him, and he didn't know what to do. If this was supposed to be a prank, the fun was long gone by now. This was... unsettling.

Maybe a vengeful spirit from an earlier generation is plotting their revenge against the Matsukawas. He really shouldn't be surprised, judging by his grandfather's foul mouth.

Or maybe it is an ex from a previous life. Must've been quite the drama, if they were still following him. He wondered if he used to have a humiliation kink in his past life to be called like this. What the fuck. Here he thought he'd never sink that low.

Or, Matsukawa simply was going insane. Huh.

When they were asked to do some serves, Matsukawa went to stand behind the back line, eyes focused on the upper border of the net. Oikawa was beside him, a few steps behind.

Matsukawa did a normal serve, while Oikawa did a jump serve. His own serve landed in the middle of the court. A hard place to dig it up. Matsukawa allowed himself a small smile.

Oikawa's serve was barely in. One inch beyond and it would've been out.

"Right on the line! " Oikawa grinned.

Wait. was that intentional?

Man, this guy was scary.

"Like that was a big deal to you. Everyone knows you could land a serve, Trashykawa."

Matsukawa whipped around to find Iwaizumi crossing his arms from beside the court, wearing an unimpressed look.

So it was Iwaizumi?

Okay. That's it.

"Dude, what's the deal with you?"

Iwaizumi scowled deeper. "What deal?"

"You tell me. You were the one throwing around insults at me all morning. Do I even know you?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Wow. Just wow. Matsukawa could feel his patience getting thinner.

"Dude, look. I don't know why you think this prank is still funny, it expired a while ago. You.re actively crossing a line here."

Iwaizumi's face was a mask of confusion and anger. He reminded Matsukawa of an elementary school kid, insisting he did nothing wrong to his parents when the vase he broke was right there. "Excuse me?"

"So you wanna keep going then? Fantastic."

"What the fuck Matsukawa?"

"What's going on, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa appeared behind Iwaizumi, brow furrowed.

"Nothing that concerns you, stupidkawa," Iwaizumi grunted, addressing Oikawa and not him.

A second went by in silence, while realization dawned on Matsukawa. He was at a loss of words, because - really? Really?

Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows, obviously waiting for him to say something. Oikawa kept looking, confused.

Hanamaki is the first to break, rolling on the floor laughing. Matsukawa couldn't help his own chuckle, because - really?

Hanamaki wipes tears from his eyes. "Of course it was Oikawa, not Matsukawa, holy shit," his shoulders shook with laughter.

Iwaizumi was positively fuming now. "Care to share what's so funny," Oikawa quipped, clearly unimpressed.

Matsukawa bit back a snort. "Thought I was the one bein called Shittykawa here, Glad to know I'm not."

"Wha-" Oikawa's high-pitched protest was cut off by an enlightened Iwaizumi, barking out a laugh. "Holy shit, dude, sorry about that."

"Gotta admit, it was pretty funny," Hanamaki grinned.

"Speak for yourself, I thought the gym was haunted for a second there."

Oikawa laughed. "No need to worry. We'll just call you Mattsun! And you," he pointed at Hanamaki, "can be Makki, and Iwa-chan remains Iwa-chan, and I can be the 'kawa' here. Problem solved. No more 'kawa' issue!"

"Geez, didn't know you loved my insults that much," Iwaizumi teased, causing Oikawa to gasp dramatically and protest non-stop, calling Iwaizumi a "foul mouthed brute."

"So, Mattsun."

"So, Makki."

"Guess we could get used to this."

"At least the gym is not haunted anymore."

Makki laughed. "We should pull this prank on a next year's first year. Preferably a jumpy one."

Matsukawa grinned, reminiscing how horrible he felt.

"Count me in."

Fin~

prompt credit : @fangirlism-for-life <3

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

If the M6 had any mental disabilities (OCD, Autism, ADHD...) What do you think they would have?

Brainrot's Arcana Essays: M6's mental health conditions

@hewwo-its-floof .... this probably isn't where your ask was heading, but here's an essay! XD I've actually been turning this concept over in my head for several months now, so you'll see what I could see each of them having but you'll also see why I haven't unpacked it much ^.^

(cropped because this is long and addresses each character)

I'm going to be totally honest and say that I'm extremely hesitant to focus on diagnosing fictional characters beyond lighthearted headcanons. From my own experience of having multiple diagnoses at different times, people and characters tend to be fairly complex in the way their nature, nurture, and mental health interact with each other. So while it's really fun and in many ways healing and validating to see our experiences and habits reflected in a loveable character, it's easy to fall into a trap of confining ourselves or a character to the diagnoses we're focusing on.

Asra, Julian, Muriel, and Lucio, for example, all have the kind of lived experiences that you could fully expect would result in CPTSD. Asra's parents disappeared while they were a young child and they experienced the extended trauma of growing up homeless on the streets. Muriel experienced that same abandonment and homelessness, and then that gets layered with his experience in the Coliseum. Julian has clear memories of the trauma of being shipwrecked, losing his parents, and trying to care for his sister as a young boy, plus the apprenticing he did as a teen treating soldiers on active battlefields. Lucio has a similar traumatic background with the amount of time he's spent in combat and the kill-or-be-killed world he grew up in. Portia doesn't have any memories before the grandmothers at Nevivon, but that doesn't erase her body's memory or the chances of second hand trauma from her closeness to her brother. Nadia didn't exactly have an easy childhood, but we aren't aware of any traumatic incidents before adulthood.

All that to say, there's multiple ways to interpret behavior that reflects a mental condition that doesn't match what's considered "normal." Asra can seem ADHD coded - we've seen them fixate on curious puzzles, completely zone out and forget what they're doing, and turn their living space into a cozy state of chaos. That looks a lot like ADHD! But, that could also be the trauma coping mechanisms of someone who likes to live with the luxury of having a space covered in their things without fear of them being removed, or focusing solely on things that make their brain happy in an unpredictable world. Or maybe Asra's just a naturally curious person who finds chaos comforting and spends a lot of time in their own head. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above feeding into each other in different ways!

The same goes for the other three - does Muriel like a more isolated lifestyle because of the trauma from crowds in the Coliseum? Does he like to keep his own heavily guarded space and set routines from living on the streets? Or are those autistic traits, seeking out a space that isn't overstimulating and doesn't require masking? How much of that is natural introversion and a general preference for calm, ordered spaces? He could be a combination of some or all of those things, but he's still himself regardless. If we were to focus on just one, we'd risk leaving the rest to fade into the background.

Julian has one of the stories in which MC plays a very direct role in addressing his mental health. He depends on them heavily to help him find new purpose and a new way to live. You could almost say that MC helps "fix" him, but this doesn't involve losing a lot of the things that make him so messy - it mostly involves helping him dial it back enough so that it's no longer unhealthy. (for example - he drinks as a coping mechanism, but the solution isn't for him to never touch alcohol again. he still drinks and has a fun time, it's his need to self-isolate and self-destruct that really needed to be addressed) He can still be loud and flamboyant and entertaining without having to pin his worth on how much validation he gets from it. Could those super high highs and low lows be signs of bipolar disorder? Maybe, but whether it is or not, Julian's wide range of emotional expression is core to who he is.

Lucio is his own special case (I mean, the story starts out with him as the villain). The plot of his route is his transformation. It could be easy to read narcissism into a lot of his behavior, and if that's a diagnosis his character was built around, it would make sense! It could also be easy to argue that his tendency to idolize himself is a response to growing up in a world where he had no control and felt constantly unsupported and ignored. But the focus isn't on bashing how he sees himself as much as it is on teaching him accountability around what he does with that. Lucio at the end of his story still has a sizeable ego, still sees himself as a protagonist, and has no qualms about being good enough for MC. However, he's gained experience acknowledging his own flaws and mistakes and it's enabled him to seek out a fresh start.

We could unpack Portia and Nadia too - is Portia's super competence and hard working nature born out of the pressure to be strong and steady for her traumatized older brother? Did that cause the hyper responsibility that kept her adventurous spirit in Nevivon way past her childhood? Does her annoyance with her older brother's struggles come out of frustration at never being able to process her own difficulties in favor of playing therapist for everyone else? Are her loudly cheerful attitude, tendency to fill her day with work, and love of escaping into books all masking techniques for chronic depression? Maybe all of that is true, but it's accompanied by a conscious decision to be optimistic and a genuine love of caring for other people.

We could speculate about the source of Nadia's insecurities for hours - what did her old dynamic with Lucio look like? Where did her hesitance to get involved and try to fix a broken system come from? What caused someone with such a focused personality to make firm decisions and express deep doubts at the same time? Does her quest for influence come from a desire to implement improvements or a need for control? Maybe her love of precision, good omens, and controlled environments are a result of OCD, or maybe she's just discovered what it's like to have her confidence shaken and this is what it looks like to move forward.

I've processed my own share of eating and mental disorders, dysphoria, neurodivergence, disability, and trauma. Some of my diagnoses only lasted several months, others took decades to work past, and a few of them I know will be with me for the rest of my life. They help explain a lot of how I function, experience the world, and interact with others as a person. But those conditions and experiences are only part of the amalgamation that makes me who I am, who I've been, and who I'm becoming. I don't care to completely define myself by certain parts when the sum of who I am is what's going to decide my story, and I like extending that mindset to the stories, people, and characters I interact with as well.

I hope that makes sense, and sorry for the unexpected essay!!

Cheers, friend -

brainrot

[bil-daddy]

Mr bildad the shuhite, I need some advice. What do I do when that familiar overwhelming sadness washes over me? Ive been feeling horribly depressed lately, even though I have no real reason to be. I do talk to my friends abt this, but I dont want to talk abt my mental state ONLY and drive them away, so I refrain from talking abt it too much even tho it feels like it will drown me, because I am too afraid of seeming clingy.

Its been getting worse lately, and all I can do is distract myself from it. Ive been excessively sleeping just to not.. feel. I dont know what to do, nor do I know how to not feel this way

I made myself a nice breakfast, and it felt good. And then the feeling came back, like a drip drip drip from the leaking faucet of my mental health I cant control. I am scared. I am so scared

Sorry if this ask wasnt what u were expecting, or if u cant help me either, thats completely fine. I just needed to share somehow how scared I am. Of myself, what I feel I dont know

I dont know. I just dont know

Best wishes,

Anon❤️

*shows up one month late carrying six shots of espresso in a big cup to answer this ask*

It's taken me a while to respond to this because 1) I've been going through a bit of the same thing myself and 2) I haven't figured out a solution yet.

I do have some ideas, though.

You were on the right track, making yourself a nice breakfast. Little things like that make a bigger difference than you think. In fact, I think we should all try to live in the little moments as much as we can. Sometimes, when you're feeling depressed but can't point at a reason in your own life, it's because you're reacting to large scale problems that, while very real, are out of your control--and you know this, and so you feel depressed and scared because there's nothing you can do.

But there is something you can do.

Do at least one thing nice for yourself everyday as part, even if it's something really small. Especially something really small. Listen to your favourite song. Eat a piece of chocolate, just because. Play with a pet, if you have one.

And, if you're up to it, do at least one nice thing for someone else, too. Help your parents with the chores. Call a grandparent and brighten their day. Send a kind message to a friend.

Because you should keep on talking to your friends. The right friends will be honoured you've opened up to them. Listen to your friends, too. They might be going through things to, and being a comfort to them might in turn make you feel better, as well. Being part of a community, even if it's just a small group of friends--or even a group of two--can really help. Having you a sense of purpose, belonging, and importance is part of what makes people people.

Sleeping a lot isn't necessarily bad. Ive done that myself (for totally normal amounts of time, definitly not entire century or anything) Sometimes, your body and your mind just needs the rest. But if you feel like you're sleeping too much, then you probably need something exciting to be awake for.

It might be time to try out a new hobby, start a new TV show or book, take a class, or set a new goal that you can work towards a little bit every day. The mind craves new experiences and challenges. If everything's been the same for a while, depression can set in simply due to boredom.

However, there could just as easily be other causes, which are worth looking into with a therapist and a psychiatrist, if you want to try the medical route--and it is worth a try with persistent depression.

It sounds to me like you also have some anxiety about having depression, since it scares you (and rightfully so, it is scary) that you can feel it coming on and that you can't control it. For that, in addition to what I've already mentioned above, I'd suggest thinking about it differently. Instead of leaking faucet you're desperately trying to shut off, let yourself feel whatever emotions you're feeling*

(*safely and within reason--don't harm yourself or others)

Cry, scream, punch a pillow. Let it out.

Sometimes, the sadness we fear feeling ends up not being as bad as the fear of it. You might feel relieved, once you're no longer bottling everything up and sleeping/distracting yourself to avoid feeling sad. As cliche as a it is, the only way out is through.

Have an ox rib (platonic) for the journey. You can do it.

[fluffle-writes]

So, I saw your twst isekai idea post, and had IDEAS!

so I'm not super familiar with most of those series/fandoms, BUT...

What came to mind for me was Stardew Valley (since it's been on my mind recently). I don't know how familiar you are with the game, but I think that if he was isekai'd there, Jade would THRIVE as a farmer! I mean, he's got a green thumb and knows about plants. There's a mountain (with a mine), plenty of local flora to forage, and a possibility for a MUSHROOM CAVE on the farm. He'd LOVE IT!! Plus, the people in town are incredibly interesting - he'd never get bored there. And he's sketchy clever and resourceful enough to know how to get what he wants. His family are suggested to also be 'businesspeople', after all :)

Epel would also do just fine there, obviously. He already comes from a farming family, so I imagine he'd do a good job setting up an orchard in Stardew Valley.

On the other hand, I think that Idia would STRUGGLE in that situation. He's very clever, but NOT GOOD with new people, or much manual labour. And unless he already knew about gardening/farming/foraging/fishing/etc. from a game or series, he'd probably be totally lost on how to manage. (It would probably be pretty funny for us, but very stressful for him.)

(I put a buncha stuff under a 'read more' because I wrote. Many words lol)

I LOVE STARDEW VALLEY I'VE BEEN PLAYING IT ON MY SWITCH AND HAVING SO MUCH FUN OBLITHERATING PIERRE IN THE STARDEW VALLEY FAIR (I care about this a normal amount)

AND YESS FARMER JADE!!! OMG HE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE THE MUSHROOM CAVE HIMSELF BEFORE DEMETRIUS EVEN THINKS ABOUT SUGGESTING IT TO HIM!

Just,,, Demetrius showing up at Jade's house and being all 'hello I could set up a mushroom cave for you if you want' and Jade showing off his already thriving mushroom colonies completely filling the space lmao. I wonder if they'd be mycology buddies with how Demetrius is a biologist (iirc)

He'd love to forage in the surrounding areas and hike around the forests - and fishing! I remember him being super passionate about everything in the Camp Vargas stories he was in and I just love how he can get so happy when he's able to indulge in his interests.

(I wonder if he would mess with some of the villagers by swimming in the ocean in his merform... I may end up shipping him with Elliott if I think about that too much - typical bachelor on the beach falls for the mysterious merperson in the ocean typa story idk my brain is running away from me haha)

----

EPEL WITH AN ORCHARD YES!

He would be in his element! I can imagine him with expertise from what his family taught him on his farm - how to selectively breed plants to make the best produce, how to graft two parts of heirloom species of plants together to get the best traits from both (like the roots from a tomato plant bred to resist root diseases and the stem from a plant that produces large, delicious fruits! I've seen a video about it and it was really cool lol)

And he has the type of face and vibe that I feel like would make older ladies fawn over him a little if that makes sense? Like Marnie, Caroline, and Jodi - their group. Like, he's polite because of his time with Vil, he's quite short and has a boyish face, he's hardworking etc. I can see him receiving cookies from Evelyn and stuff like that.

----

AND LMAO IDIA SUFFERING HAHA

I'd say that he'd get along with Sebastian but I doubt that they'd end up meeting with how neither of them really go outside (I know from waiting outside Sebastian's door before I thought to look up his schedule online haha)

Idia's internal dialogue would probably be an absolute disaster haha - he is NOT built for this environment! There's too much focus on socialisation! And his noodly gamer arms cannot do farming! He would be having a Bad Time and it would definitely be funny to watch it pan out haha

At least there's a chance that he could have some meta knowledge due to the fact that he's a gamer. Maybe it'll be exactly like some sorta game from Twisted Wonderland called 'SunMist Hollow' (I just searched synonyms for that haha)

[rainbowsky]

Hi R 🌈

I recently discovered an crazy theory about GGDD dating during DD days with uniq which completely blown my mind to be honest. Is there any CPN's behind this rumor or is it just an another fanfiction. As much as I'm convinced that BJYXSZD GGDD dating during Dad's idol days kind look far fetched to me.

Have a nice day rain ლ(・﹏・ლ)

Hi Anon!

Ah, you've stumbled across The Devil's Timeline, an interesting and often controversial theory that's been a part of the fandom for a very long time...

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Before I Start

There are some really aggressive people who always respond to these types of discussions in a hateful way, because of the implications of GG dating a younger DD (for example, in 2016 DD would have been 18-19 and GG would have been 24-25). It's called 'The Devil's Timeline' for a reason. If you don't like it, DON'T READ. It's really that simple.

And frankly, if you think it's crazy, outrageous and wrong for an 18 year old to be dating a 24 year old, you're not living in the real world. This is not an unusual age gap, especially between men.

Ultimately this is clowning and CPN. Not meant to be taken seriously.

Any adversarial anons will be blocked.

So What's the Theory?

Basically the theory is that GG and DD have been together for a lot longer than the generally accepted fan canon (fan canon tends to revolve around the idea that they got together during or shortly after filming The Untamed).

The Devil's Timeline doesn't have any specific set dates/times. It encompasses any timeline where GG and DD started dating prior to filming. Some people feel they might have met and started dating as far back as mid-2015, others think it happened between the 2017 DDU episode and CQL filming. So a timeline such as the one I wrote a couple of years ago would fall under The Devil's Timeline just as much as ones that claim they got together in 2015.

What's the Evidence?

As far-fetched as it might seem, there are some 'coincidences' and signs that point to the possibility that GG and DD might have met a lot earlier than the widely accepted '2017 DDU episode' meeting. There have also been fake rumors and whispers about them being together a lot longer than they claim.

For a bit of background on this theory - @accio-victuuri wrote a post detailing some of the clues, and there's also a post from @p-h03n1-x talking about some interesting posts on DD's birthday in 2016.

I know I've seen other tidbits here and there over the years, and in a perfect world I'd dig for it all and put together my own comprehensive post on this, but my drafts folder just can't take another big project.

If you look at their behavior toward each other at the booting ceremony, prior to filming, and then you look at the table read and early filming, they went from 'complete and total strangers' to being very familiar with each other almost overnight. While their natural compatibility and unique rapport make it believable that they'd be quickly very comfortable with one another, that's just a bit too quick even with compatibility as extreme as theirs.

Another thing that keeps me going back to this theory again and again is their behavior both in the 2017 DDU episode and at the booting ceremony for The Untamed. Now that I'm familiar with them and how they act in various situations, their demeanour in both situations seems a bit 👀 to me. Unnatural for them.

What it reminds me a lot of - particularly the booting ceremony behavior - is their behavior during Weibo night, when they appeared to be consciously avoiding interacting with each other (you can read about why here). That tension and overcompensating 'I'm not looking over there' kind of attitude.

In most situations where 'strangers' are put into proximity with one another - even 'acquaintances' who are not deeply connected with one another - there is some amount of totally normal, totally natural human curiosity. The other person is treated as a presence in the room that would naturally draw the eye from time to time.

Not so with GG and DD during the booting ceremony. They were an artificial amount of 'detached' from one another. Standing right next to each other and not even exchanging polite words. Even when they're both struggling with the red silk, they don't exchange any words or glances.

It comes across to me as very odd behavior, especially from them. They're both SO POLITE around others, especially someone they're going to be working closely with. Their normal, natural response in a situation like that would be to look at the other person, reassure and assist them. Not here. They act like the other person isn't even standing there. Not normal behavior IMHO.

And compare that with Weibo Night. Their behavior has the same flavor, at least it does to me.

CQL booting ceremony vs Weibo night: same energy.

Here's a video of the entire Weibo Night event. You can browse through to see how they were behaving toward each other. One example is at 1:41:30 when they go onstage to receive an award. There are also a lot of fancams from that night, you can browse around YouTube if you're curious.

During the DDU episode it's a lot harder to determine their demeanour toward each other because there's so much going on, so many other people around and the camera angles keep shifting, but there were a couple of things that caught my eye.

For one, notice at 27:00 when they're tiptoeing over the bamboo canes, when Wu Jiacheng crosses the canes he immediately steps back to the XNINE corner, while when GG crosses moments later, he naturally gravitates over to where DD is standing. 🤔

It's an automatic thing. Most people will gravitate to where they feel most comfortable in a room, just like when returning to the main area of a busy party after using the bathroom most people will head over to where their close friends or partner/spouse are standing. So in this case it's interesting that GG seems unconsciously more comfortable on DD's side of the stage than with his bandmates, even though standing over by DD means standing with the hosts of the show, which most people would feel incredibly uncomfortable doing.

Then at 32:00, when they're discussing the calligraphy tablets, GG and DD are standing next to each other in several shots. Maybe it's confirmation bias on my part, but they do not look like strangers in those shots. I can't point to any particular reason why.

And please take a moment at 4:52 to admire the adorkable way GG is frolicking while the rest of the boys are running. 🥹

Do I Believe It?

Although I go back and forth between popular canon theory (they got together during filming) and some form of The Devil's Timeline, in reality most of the time I see them as having been together long before filming. To me it's the best explanation for some of the inconsistencies we've seen, some of the behavior we've seen, etc.

You can check out my (very old, outdated) timeline post here. I make it pretty clear there that I think that they were together or at least well-acquainted with each other before filming. But given some of the BTS we've seen (and their married level of familiarity), I think it's possible or maybe even likely that they were together even earlier than what I claimed in that post.

How early? Maybe 2016. The DD's birthday posts are pretty interesting. A 20:23 kadian thanking for receiving some presents, on his birthday? 👀

And I do think the theory that they met 6/22 at a Uniq fanmeet* is an interesting one. Let's face it - 6/22 means something special to them. We know it. Could it be the day they met? It would fit.

*The rumor is that GG went to a fan meet in Guangzhou because he wanted to learn more about idols before going on XFIRE. That would have been in 2015, a couple months before XFIRE started, but I have not personally seen confirmation that such a fan meet happened on that day in that location (or that GG attended).

At the very least I think they were well-aquainted/dating between the 2017 DDU episode and CQL filming.

But I try not to restrict myself to any one particular theory. Ultimately we don't know, so why not explore different possibilities? I think it's interesting to view elements of their history through multiple different lenses, and see how those perspectives impact interpretation. I did this with my Japan trip post a while back. Since we'll probably never know for sure how or when it all started for them, why limit ourselves?

[lostfracturess]

helloo!!! just finished all the "symptoms and causes" chapters that are out and i want to say this story has me on a MASSIVE chokehold 😭😭😭😭😭 stumbled upon the recommendation and decided to give it a try, because i already saw the chapters under the tag, though i am not a huge fan of long ongoings with the y/n, but lord it was one of the best decisions here, i wish i read it earlier! I don't know even what to start with, so im sorry for this kinda chaos, i guess the first thing that really got me is the characters and the way you depict them!!! satoru is so fucking good here, you describe him in such a thoughtful and thorough manner it makes me smiling blushing giggling 😫😫😫😫 the characteristics of him, his actions, little details of him handling himself around... it's so subtle yet adds a lot of deep to the character! i like especially when you highlight the intensity of his stare in the various situations, i think it's really canon of him!! overall he has me on my knees 😞😞😞 and y/n??? GOSH THIS WOMAN! i understand satoru completely, she would've me wrapped around her finger as well. i like that she feels....real? like a total normal human being with flaws, she's neither perfect in every aspect nor she tries to be. i ADORE her strength and the way she collects herself in the difficult situations ("i have to be strong for them"), yet she's not kinda of a terminator and indeed is vulnerable. the chess game just had me thinking whether i want to be her or want to be with her (this option is closed but still-), it's just THIS good. pacing is also very nice!!!! i think that everything just perfect the way it is. and the setting??? you did a very good job at describing it, i really felt like i was there in these moments (though to be honest i half read the surgeries because of the terminology 😭😭😭😭😭), it's very good. also the thing i would like to point out is the surroundings of y/n, it's not only just her and satoru communicating, but a variety of other people, i like their friendship with yuta, maki and toge! suguru and satoru are also nice, their bond is strong for sure, I'm really glad they have such people in their lives (we do not talk about sukuna and gojo's parents...). and ALSO THE ANGST??? it's just so fucking good written, their emotions and feelings 😩😩😩😩 literally biting my pillow!!!!! overall, the story is magnificent and looking forward to the next chapter! sending you lots of inspiration!!!!

p.s. looked through your playlist as well, i think it's very nice! might i suggest you to listen to "don't blame me" by taylor swift, cause to my humble opinion it fits them perfectly 😫

thank you SO SO much for this incredibly thoughtful message! honestly, reading this was the best part of my day. it makes me so unbelievably happy that you gave symptoms and causes a chance, even tho you're not into long stories and ended up liking it! 😭

i'm so glad that you're connecting with the characters! i spend a lot of time trying to get into satoru's headspace, like messy, chaotic, but with a surprising amount of hidden vulnerability and a really genuine love. so glad you're catching all those nuances!!

and yes, the STARES! i think this man communicates with his stupidly handsome eyes 99% of the time. it just must be canon.

also so glad you like the reader persona in this story. i wanted to portray someone both strong and flawed, capable of taking charge yet never being immune to their own doubts. i've been nervous that people can't relate or see themselves in the story, so i'm very relieved to hear that! <3

also so happy to hear the chess scene landed well for you, this is one of my favorites!!!

moreover find it kinda funny that you just SKIP the surgery scenes because of the medical terminology, that i spend hours researching for haha. but i get you, it might be a bit much and boring...

thank you again for taking your precious time to write me this sweet message!! can't wait to share more of the story with you! & wishing you nothing but the best! 🥲🫶🫶

and i will definitely add, don't blame me! haven't been listening to taylor swift as much lately, even though i'm going to her concert this summer omg.

[mightbeorphanedidk]

Now, normally, I wouldn't show you guys photos taken from my phone of my laptop cus thee quality turns out bad but..

JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

This is the last chapter of "I trusted you with such a small yet big thing (and look where that got me)" and OH MY GOD. DAMN. I wasn't expecting THIS much. Like I knew it would be a lot, but not 10-FUCKING-THOUSAND.

AND THIS IS UNEDITED. I STILL HAVE TO EDIT. DAMN. I'M SCARED OF MYSELF.

It's not that it's 10k words. I started writing this LAST NIGHT. It's been 23 hours since I started. I've been writing for like, 10 hours AT LEAST.

Completely ignored my draft for the ending, did a compete 180⁰ turn and said YOLO. I'm happy with how it turned out, though.

Edit: ok so I split it into two chapters yayy thanks puniyo for recommending me to do that <3 Edited the two chapters and now, combined, it's actually 10k, not rounded or anything.

I'm really tired but the writing grind never stops 💪

Jk I'm going to take a break for like an hour or two, maybe have a nap, and start working on the angel AU, and then the torture fic. Im pacing myself, though, guys dw. We now have a deadline, too. I want to get these chapters out by the time I get back, so i have 24 days. Might as well get those Christmas advent calenders.

Tw math up ahead

So, let's put this discussion in a theoretical sense. I have 24 days, which is 24² hours (576 hours). If I write at the rate of roughly 1000 words per hour, and that too if I'm focused without distraction, I can write 576x10³ words. But i need to sleep, eat, and go to school.

SO

Hours in a day avaliable = 24-6-6-2 = 10 hours

10 hours × 24 = Total amount of time available = 240

240×10³ = Total amount of words I can write

If I maximise my time and spend it on NOTHING ELSE other than writing, I can write a novel worth like, one fifth of the Bible. Cool. Sorry guys I needed to do a little math to escape from too much literature.

BUT, guess which bitch has an art and geo assignment, and a science test next week 😝 (its me. I'm that bitch.) So we're gonna be a bit more busy.

God I love stress

No i dont

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