#I've been eating fine
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Tummy hurts :(
#literally don't even know why#I haven't gone anywhere I could've caught something in the past week#I've been eating fine#but no. stomach bug.
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the way lucanis immediately and oh so innocently counters davrin's suggestion that he could make the step up to something stronger than coffee with 'like gingerwort tea?' and davrin capitulating gracefully on the spot makes me think that once davrin and rye returned from their trip (in both senses of the word) in the arlathan woods, davrin went straight to lucanis in the pantry and dropped rye directly into his lap like 'here you make some sense of your mans he's been gently giggling and making skeleton puns the whole way home. also he said something about wanting pancakes and that no one makes them right except you. and also about fifty times that you smell sooo good and your hands are nice but I'm taking that one to my fucking grave there's gotta be a limit for everything'
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#davrin#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#imagining rye dangling his feet happily like a kid as all three of them eat pancakes is. a blessing that makes this whole day worth it#I've been having a weird one but this healed me I think. the boys.......#assan also gets a few pancakes. well. he takes a few pancakes and lucanis is like *shrug* I've got more batter ready it's fine#listen. listen. lucanis and rye both growing up almost without other children around or getting to be childish and silly#and getting to have this now?? davrin maybe carrying more of his clan with him that way than he realizes even apart from them for so long??#and bringing that with him??? them being like '...I wonder what happens if we drop a scrap of pancake into the fade. hm. experiment time?'#rye with his face resting in the curve of lucanis' neck all happy and relaxed (and lucanis fondly wrapping an arm around him#to keep him steady and safe and make sure he doesn't just topple over bonelessly?)#I'm CRYING
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lloyd 'survived on one meal per day for years' frontera would absolutely see sharing food as a love language and javier 'lived in the streets for months as a child' asrahan would be fluent in it
i do believe there is a point in their lives where they both heal from the trauma of going through severe food insecurity but neither of them ever quite really forget just how important food can be. and when the other shares their food with them, they appreciate it as the show of affection it was meant to be
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#i've talked before about food as a love language in tged which mostly affects the relationship between marbella and lloyd#but i do think it would bleed over to other aspects in lloyd's life#and there's a scene in the hell arc where javier figures out something is wrong because lloyd complains about the food#something javier notes he never does. no matter the quality of the food how plain or unpleasant it is lloyd never complains about it#and he explicitly calls it out as the way someone that had been starving for years and knew the preciousness of food would act#which if you then take into account that this is been said by a person that survived on his own as a five year old child in the streets#in the middle of winter... well. it sounds less like speculation and more like someone speaking from experience.#anyway. all this to say lloyd would peel an orange and then give half of it to javier and javier would absolutely swoon#and when they're on the road and they sit down to eat javier will always give the fuller plate to lloyd#and lloyd will have to swallow the knot in his throat before he can start eating#llojavi#yeah fine i'll tag it
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TOME BIRTHDAY WEEK !!!!!
Bonus tome and serizawa gamer bonding 🎮💥
#I KNOW IM LATE A FEW DAYS ITS FINE IT'S STILL HER WEEK#I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH WORK SO I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DRAW#AND WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO USE PHONES OR HAVE ANY WRITING MATERIALS ON OUR WORK STATION#SO I HAVEN'T BEEN DRAWING AT ALL SINCE I STARTED WORKING#Apart from my break time but i gotta eat so...#anyway heres the normal tags#tome kurata#serizawa katsuya#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 fanart#mi art stuff#fanart
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was trying to figure out why I feel so Wrong rn and I think it's because I didn't follow my usual daily routine like At All and now my brain is freaking out. woke up at a vastly different time, had entirely different tasks throughout the day, took a nap at a weird time (to make up for the fact I had about 3 hours of sleep last night), zero human contact for the past 15 hours, and ate different food from usual (various leftovers from social events/thanksgiving, instead of cooking for myself like normal). and before I really realized that these were all things that were Bad For My Brain I was just wandering around my house like "why do I feel like garbage?? I've literally been outside so much today my brain should be happy"
ANYWAY here's to me not remembering I have issues with unstructured living because my days have been so similar for the past 4ish years that I straight up Forgot that things being too different too fast makes me crazy ✌️
#rye.txt#I'll be fine lol#the sudden shift in my daily schedule and my generally unhealthy eating today were the big things that made me feel Bad#so now that I am actually cognizant of this I can take steps to mitigate it tomorrow#god. what the hell did I even eat#leftover soup. that was breakfast (very out of my ordinary). uhh. a lot of pie (grandma made a ton for thanksgiving).#a tangerine that miiight have been on the edge of going bad#(thought I should eat a fruit. fruit did not improve status)#reheated popcorn chicken? that was not a good decision I felt so gross after eating that#hrm. ok my issue is that I feel like I Need To Eat These Leftovers So They Don't Go Bad#otherwise i'll be Wasting Perfectly Good Food#BUT. I don't want to eat it and eating it makes me feel generally unfulfilled and kinda blehg#ough. why can't I be normallllll#I'm also not dealing with the whole 'zero human contact' very well tbh. which is weird because I'm a deeply introverted person#and usually spend my days avoiding people like the plague#but idk. it's been literal years since I've spent and extended period of time completely alone#I don't knowwww i don't know#I'm gonna invite some friends over tomorrow and get them to help me eat these dang pies#ALSO. ITS BEEN REALLY COLD TODAY. AND I HAD TO BREAK INTO MY NEIGHBORS' HOUSE#(was not breaking in; I was trying to take care of their dogs since they're out of town)#(but their door code AND their garage door code weren't working#and I didn't have a physical key to use#so I had to push my way in through a back door that'd been blocked by a pile of boxes taller than my head#and squirm into their garage in order to get inside and take care of the dogs)#(was a very stressful way to spend my early waking hours)#i ALSO had to drive to the AIRPORT this morning which SUCKED. had to drop off family#which like I'm happy to help but also airports suck so much ass I hate them#anyway. today was sort of shitty#but mostly I only have myself to blame#did not structure my day well enough
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i have art block but i just had a burger (more like 2,5) so perfect in flavour combination and texture that i wanted to cry and life was so beautiful and all my worries went away it was like a spiritual experience this picture represents maybe 1/6th of what that felt like
#i'm fine mentally btw (/gen) i just really fucking love burgers#wolfart talks#i'd srsly give actual head just to eat a burger like this#i'd give all the money in the world#i've been waiting for weeks to eat one of those#they are very specific burgers mad by my dad#i'm in extacy rn#everything is okay no i know life will be okay#because there are beutiful things in life like this burger#life is worth living#if it means these#ok im done
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It's competitive but I think my favorite Conan anecdote is when he told his therapist "Everyone hates me, they think I have no talent and they wish I would just go away," and his therapist said "That's called negative self-talk and you have to realize it's just the depression talking" and Conan said "Self-talk? I'm just quoting my latest review!"
#I know this sounds like a joke and it is but apparently it also really happened#Conan was telling his therapist he felt like everyone hated him and his therapist was trying to convince him it was all in his head#and he was like everything I just said was a direct quote from a review#this was at his lowpoint when he was like a hair's breadth from getting fired and the press was absolutely eating him alive#gotta respect a guy who's forced to eat shit on national TV and gets absolutely humiliated and ground into the dirt by someone he trusted-#-and he doesn't even bitch about it he just gets right back up and gets a new show and becomes even funnier#like he fully understood that his legacy wasn't about being liked it was about a) treating people right and b) being the funniest man alive#and he did both of those things and continues to do both of those things so I think he's going to be fine#or as he put it “I've been up and I've been down but I have a certain skillset and I'd like to be of use for as long as its viable”#I think he's letting go of acclaim at this point... or that's the impression I got from the nyt piece#not that he's not grateful but he no longer sees it as an objective or even an accomplishment to be loved and acclaimed#it's more about the act of creation and the creative output itself bc that's the part that continues to matter thirty years later#conan o'brien
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there is something really cool about figuring out ways to eat vegetables you've hated all your life
It's happened with broccoli (which I fucking hated as a kid), and now today with eggplant (which I've done my best to avoid until now).
At this point, I might reconsider my eternal feud with cauliflower. Maybe there IS a way it can be eaten by me. And it would be kinda hilarious to share that information with my parents who during all my childhood fought to make me eat overcooked boiled cauliflower.
(it's a "funny" story that even as a baby, I would refuse to eat any food that had cauliflower in it) (I've always loudly hated them, my parents knew about it and found it funny, but still scolded me for not eating them because I was wasting food)
#jau rants#the lesson I've been learning is that with some exception I don't like boiled vegetables#it's fine if it's a soup because I'll eat nearly anything if it's in liquid form#but the texture of boiled vegetable is a nightmare and the taste ain't great for me either#my best ally for eating vegetables has been chinese and japanese recipes so far
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i ate a cupcake recently without first spending five minutes talking about how logistically stressful it is to eat a cupcake, so. i am capable of growth
#i just don't understand how you're supposed to do it without making a mess#why would someone design a food that seems like it is specifically impossible not to get smeared somewhere?#like just design it differently idk??? but everyone else seems to be fine with it so i guess it was a fine decision and i'm the problem#this time i didn't want to say anything about cupcakes being stressful to eat because i was being given a cupcake by the person#who had made the cupcakes and also it was her birthday. so. would have been kind of a dick move.#instead i just unwrapped the cupcake very slowly to give me time to observe how other people were eating theirs#and then i decided i didn't like their methods and did something else#this makes it sound like i've never seen someone eat a cupcake before or eaten one myself but i have many times#i just have never liked it. and i keep holding out hope that someday i'll see someone do it in a way that makes sense#i want someone to crack the code so i can just eat cupcakes. i don't think they're very interesting but it would behoove me socially#to be normal about cupcakes. since everyone else seems so into them for some reason#food#my posts#that said i do know the wrongest way to eat a cupcake and that's the way my younger sister does it (or used to do it)#which entails eating the entire wrapper as well as the cupcake#so in my quest for an acceptable way to eat a cupcake i have at least ruled out several including that one
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not to be like “ugh aos crew” again but ugh aos crew again spock really got accepted into the most prestigious university on vulcan and was like “haha fuck you <3″ bc they insulted the fact that he’s mixed-race jim banged his forehead in the shuttle within the first 30 seconds he was on board leonard was hiding in the bathroom of said shuttle because he hates flying sulu couldn’t get the ship to warp for the first 3 minutes of his first-ever flight on the enterprise uhura is mostly okay still except she’s also got a thing going with her former professor so maybe that raises some eyebrows (ha) scotty is literally in a butt-fuck middle of nowhere outpost on a death ice planet chekov is. seventeen. i don’t really have much more to add to that except guys your ensign is seventeen years old
#caroline talks#star trek#THEY'RE ALL SO. in their own varying levels. unhinged#me: ah yes. the best of the best. starfleet's best and brightest#[immediately cuts to spock being a sassy little bitch + leonard swearing up and down the ship + jim running around#because his hands have SWELLED TO THE SIZE OF BALLOONS BECAUSE OF A CERTAIN DOCTOR + sulu looking like he wants to die#because spock was said sassy bitch + scotty just being like 'do u know what i've been eating. it sucks'#+ uhura being mostly fine except girlie i know spock's attractive and i know u are both adults but GIRL + chekov just cheerfully going#'seventeen sir :)' and leonard going 'OH GOOD HE'S SEVENTEEN']#they are so. like.#frankly for all the hate that the reboot movies get i fuckign adore them bc it's like 'you know what. they're all like. young.#they can be stupid.'#like. some of them are in their twenties. do u know what that does to a person#jim kirk is in his twenties and that's the only reason why i'm like ' .. . . . . listen he might be a little bit chaotic but i love him'
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@aluminum-angels i made an entire doodle page just to prove a point
Their relationships do not fail, they get along just fine and they love each other very much
Peace and love among my rw ocs
#auugh you people will not belive the shit i've been through today#ok so basically i was grabbing some food out and i sprinkle the cheese and im like huh this cheese kinda stale#so i give it a sniff and it STINKS and im like aw fuck well its already on my food so uhhh in the microwave this all goes maybe it will be#ok after its heated but SPOILERS it does not and actually now it smells worse so im over here trying to figure out if its worth to eat this#thing and if it will taste as bad as it smells luckly it tatsed just fine but auughh couldnt breathe while eating that but it doesnt end#there because after gulping all that stuff down suddenly everytime i breathed i could smell that stuff augh it was horrible#worst decision of my life so i needed a cure for this rancid ass stench so my lord and and saviour garlic comes in to save me#and you can just chew on that stuff no one will stop you (altho maybe someone should because eating garlic raw kinda hurts)#anyways posion neutralised but i am rather weary of cheese now#rain world#iterator#rain world oc#iterator oc#oc four blue flames#oc vision of a past#drawins
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IT'S ALMOST TWO AM, I NEED TOJI CUDDLES SO BAD 😭
#i think i might be sick because i can barely eat and i've been getting really bad hot and cold flashes ;_;#'toji take care of me i'm sick' 'take care of yourself' 'you took care of megumi :(' 'megumi was a baby you're a grown ass man'#'please i'll love you forever' 'you are such a pain in my ass fine' and then he gives me a forehead kiss and i die#cr: toji
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ngl having bad brain times. Can you ever physically FEEL the lack of the get things done chemical
#the advice for depression is to do the things that you used to enjoy and wait for them to help again#it's good advice and it does work to an extent but listen#i don't choose when i find things enjoyable i fixate on a topic and everything becomes enjoyable again#it's not like doing hobbies or reading or cleaning or eating meals helps THAT much#it just keeps me busy and sane and makes my body keep working until i get some good brain chemical shipped in#then I'll remember everything i've been putting off but at least i'll be relatively functional at that point#it's not that all the depression tips are useless. i'd be much worse if i didn't do any of them#as it is i've made it over 25 years without even developing a nicotine addiction or a crippling dependence on alcohol#my joints are even still fine mostly and i can tell when to get out of a situation so i can keep living#now i even know when i want to be around someone and when i don't!#i'm basically great at existing i've studied with the masters#still.
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it's never lined up this way before so I've never had to think about it at all but hey maybe the three days I've spent actively losing blood was a really bad time to have no particular appetite and, thus, not particularly eat much of anything
#WHY AM I SO SHAKING. IT IS A MYSTERY.#I mean I've KNOWN it's because I haven't been eating enough but mmm uh hmm maybe there's A Reason I feel so dramatically exhausted about it#lmao#AH. ACK. OKAY FINE.#I have no idea why I've been struggling with having an appetite so much though :')#gonna chalk it up to general Overwhelm. death by a thousand unrelated tiny things you know how it is#about me
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99% sure i oversalted my food, yet i can't taste it
*squints* sus
#hacker tips from me btw#if u like me have chronic fatigue but have a tendency to feel the Most Spry and Energy in the morning#just cook food then#u can eat breakfast later in the day it's fine#I cook food now and then when i am barely good enough to sit up i simply eat toast if i don't feel like microwaving my leftovers#win win#but yeah everyone i know are sick so im now side eyeing my immune system real hard#i've been wearing mask at work#and also to and from work#and to the grocery store#and yet.............#well hopefully my immune system wins this battle#it's finnicky like that#sometimes it bodyslams covid and other times a cold bodyslams me
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resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3
#tmi but im regular again and literally the only change is because i've been eating enough to shit daily#i was in such a bad headspace these past few months that i could barely bring myself to eat#i'd go to sleep with my work uniform still on and wake up willing myself to get up for 30 mins and then brushing my teeth and going to work#with the same clothes i slept in#i stopped hanging out with my friends. i had nightmares abt my job.#i can only take care of myself on my days' off and i cant grok anything other than shallow entertainment like wrestling#everything else is too much for my brain to handle. i'd simply forget everything i read or play or even listen to#those three months are miserable lmao#its not just my job... its also the family issues i've been dealing with#yknow remember when i said i could have died? yeah that shit was real. fuckin love it when my mom admit my dad have the capacity to be a#family annihilator. but... since my dad have a job to keep him busy and we moved to a house where me and my sister and#my mom and dad get to have our own rooms... and my dad get to live near his old friends and family...#things have been getting better. usually we had a physical fight every two months but it hasnt happened yet and i seem to get on with him#better now. so... i guess im gonna be okay. i've been so tired and trapped#stuck between two places that are both physically and emotionally draining with no reprieve#things are changing. and i find that to be comforting despite how up in the air the future might be. i might be screwed but also? what if#i'll be fine? im at a point where im accepting any drastic changes even if its for the worse#funny how i used to like my job a lot. i guess im not to be comfortable with anything long term#posts about my life
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