#I'm working on something longer
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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Anthony’s outfits in BRIDGERTON 3x01 Out of the Shadows requested by anon
#bridgerton#bridgertonedit#bridgertonblr#bridgerton gifs#anthonybridgertonedit#anthony bridgerton#dailybridgerton#dailykanthony#jonathan bailey#netflixedit#tvedit#perioddramaedit#costume appreciation#requests#this took longer for me to finish than i was thinking it would bcos i completely forgot about the two scenes he's in without kate dhkhjkgdf#was gonna include some of his ''outfit'' when they're in bed together (aka basically naked) but this was enough work already lol#(feel free to put in a request if that's something you want me to do but i'm not adding it to this set cos i want to post it before part 2!
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let them rest!!
#arcane#arcane fanart#caitvi#violyn#piltover's finest#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#this took way longer than it should have ajshdk#but i also redrew it three times so i guess it evens out#something still feels off but if i keep working on it i'm gonna start hating it sooo im posting it as is lol#anyway pls let them sleep in s2 im begging#just sketching#and yes i WILL continue to draw vi's bare back every chance i get bc i've realized that i can draw whatever i want
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*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?
tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.
#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline#because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well#but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time#which is this intense need to cling to oot#and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r#not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever#and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with#oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there#these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way#whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there#and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete#and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen#standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now#in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life#but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop#and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad#asks#zelda analysis
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"Gay Is Okay 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇩🇪"
#splatoon#splatoon 2#octo expansion#commander tartar#agent 8#my art :o]#I thought I wouldn't have the energy to draw at all these days but look at that! surprise ~ 🎉#silly ahhh doodle dump#agent 8 makes an appearance [rare]#I still haven't set a concrete number for both of their heights because I'm indecisive af lmao#but Tartar is like 10 ft tall and Eight is... 5 ft something...#This started as a height comparison doodle between all of the Splatoon characters I bedazzled with my ✨artistic not-so-canon flair✨#I am pretty satisfied with the design I got for Agent 8 but all the other agents? yeah no... a work in progress I suppose#perhaps one day I will post art of the other agents.... or the splatoon idols [Frye my beloved 🫶]#ANYWAYS that's enough rambling in the tags !!#I recently remembered these silly “what pride flag is that? [insert country flag here]” memes#it's extra funny because all of these countries no longer exist in the inkfish era 🥳 RIP#so there is a huge likelihood that ancient human country flags might be mistaken as some niche pride flag lmao#would Commander Tartar [the ultimate gatekeeper] even bother correcting these misconceptions...?#fun fact: Agent 8 [Eight] in german is Agent 8 [Acht] 🇩🇪 and Dedf1sh [aka Acht] is called Ahato in german [✨The More You Know🌠]
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the ghost of an old king
#SPOOKY!!!#my art#original art#i spent way longer on this than i would have liked but it was good practice!#also related to my untitled story. i was thinking of coming up with like fake egyptian history for it#like maybe a king died young (tutankhamon style) and there's a curse or something (...tutankhamon style)#and the young king... haunts.... the kingdom...??? you know what i'm still working on it#and yes the actual tutankhamon was buried at the valley of kings#but the giza pyramids were more of a recognisable structure for the backdrop of this LMAO
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pinching her cheeks
#pigeon screens#Odette Hollows#someday soon I'll have more of a brain to do something other than just shoulders up bust#but i love her muchly and she's looking like her old self!!!!!!!!!!!!#thank you to ris and hazel for your help with teeth weeps#i tried playing with the mouth bones for the first time and woof#this is just a modified /biggrin (my fav) but I like how it came out !!#Hyur#middie#(She also has a new version of her stretch marks and I'm gonna try my hand at making my own)#(I don't have a brain for gposing rn but I AM also putting together Selenite and will get some MCDFs of her for s9 friends if they want)#(Prudence is gonna take a lil' longer because her make up is totally trashed and I need her lil' nose blush.)#(BUT I think I can make something work with the BYOM kit)#(anyway I'll get outta the tags now)(loveyoubye)
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[Video description under the cut]
When I was in art school I used to make lots of these "doodle" (aka scratchy/messy without a plan) animations in my spare time and I somehow just sat down and started one last week!
It was super fun, just started drawing Masa with his hair untied and trying to figure out what he was looking at! I happened to have a very-post-canon-hc about Matsu and Yaichi bonding while Masa is away on a trip, and Masa being thrilled to find out when he comes back :3
[Video description: a scratchy animation of Matsu, Masa and Yaichi from House of Five Leaves. They are all shown from the chest up in three quarter's view, apparently sitting down.
Matsu is shown first, facing right. He is writing or drawing, but then stops to look to the left. After a moment he smiles, then returns to his work, still smiling.
Masa is shown second. His body is turned to the left, but he looks to the right, at Matsu, with a bit of a confused expression. He turns his head to the left, but holds Matsu with his gaze for a bit, before fully looking to the left.
Next, Yaichi is shown. He has a cup of hot tea in his hand but seems distracted by something in front of him. He seems to stare at Matsu, smiling, then glances to his left and meets Masa's gaze. Yaichi's eyes go a little unfocused and he smiles dreamily before he takes a sip of his tea.
Masa is shown again, still looking confused, but something seems to dawn on him. He blinks and smiles excitedly. /End video description]
#I'm actually thrilled with this - I worked on this obsessively for a few days and I just haven't had that in a while#any time it took me longer than a few days to draw something - it was because I couldn't commit to it for longer than half an hour or so#I needed a throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks kind of project that I didn't get fussy about#saraiya goyou#house of five leaves#akistsu masanosuke#matsukichi#yaichi#saegusa seinoshin#sei the drifter#ichimatsu#ichimasa#matsumasa#ichimatsumasa#animated#fanart#danikunst#described#2024#2
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Diabolik Lovers Grand Edition Tokuten Special Booklet Short Stories ☽ Mukami ver. ☽ The Rainy School Night Mystery
Original title: 雨降る夜の学校の怪 English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the scans (special thanks to @karleksmumskladdkaka!) Sakamaki ver. ☽ Year-End Pandemonium (coming soon)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
This short story booklet was part of the limited edition release of Grand Edition! Keep reading below the cut for the second short story, featuring the Mukami brothers. I will translate the Sakamaki one at a later date!
Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Droplets of rain tapped against the window panes and quickly converged into small streams, drawing curved lines on the glass on their way down. The rain had started the day before yesterday and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. Maybe that might have been why, by the time the oppressive humidity began to make everyone feel uneasy…
“Hey, Kitten. I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?”
With a smile bright enough to wipe away any worries caused by the weather, Mukami Kou—the idol with a household name—approached Komori Yui in a friendly manner. His presence caused a stir among the other students around them.
Yui grabbed Kou by the sleeve of his uniform jacket and quietly uttered, “Kou, we’ll stand out if we talk here…”
“Alright!”
Yui was puzzled by Kou’s unusually good mood, but followed him to a spot that would keep them away from prying eyes.
“Kou… Did something happen?”
“I heard a very interesting rumour. I thought I’d ask you about it, too.”
“A rumour?”
“Yes! It’s a little strange for this time of year, but it’s about a ghost story. Apparently, most of the students and teachers are familiar with it. Have you heard about it?”
“No… What’s it about?”
As soon as he realised Yui was completely oblivious, Kou gleefully talked away..
“Apparently, when it’s very late on a night of endless rain, when most people have left the school… strange sounds start coming from one of the classrooms.” Kou lowered his voice in an attempt to stoke her fear. “Nobody knows exactly where the sounds are coming from. It could be an empty classroom, the art room… You can hear it from various places depending on the day.”
“And… it couldn’t just be a burglar?”
“That’s what I thought, too, but I haven’t heard anything about things going missing, and even if that were the case, wouldn’t the police have been involved already? There’s also rumours going around about it being the students’ own doing, but apparently there are scratch marks in the rooms where the sound came from. Like, in places higher up than the curtains, so people generally wouldn’t be able to reach that high.”
With the odds of it being a student prank getting smaller by the minute, Yui’s throat grew dry. She swallowed loudly.
There shouldn’t be any sounds coming from an unoccupied room. The first thing that came to Yui’s mind was an unscientific explanation—something she would rather not think about.
“So, you mean… it’s a ghost?”
“Yes, yes, exactly! People are saying it might be a ghost.”
“But couldn’t the sounds be coming from the building itself (1)? I heard that ‘strange sounds’ people hear inside their houses are usually just the rattling of the building.”
“But that’s so boring, Kitten! Ghosts are way more interesting than rattling houses! Besides, people think it’s a ghost for good reason.”
“W-what reason…?!”
The way Kou purposefully explained it to her with such kindness, patience, and in such detail, made Yui shiver. A broad grin spread across the vampire’s face as he pulled Yui’s body closer while surveying their surroundings as if he was afraid of being caught, and started whispering into her ear.
“Some students have already snuck into the building at night as a test of courage, and apparently they saw dark shadows along with the strange sounds they heard. If it had been only one or two students spreading the rumour, it wouldn’t be a very credible story, but when so many people have had the exact same encounter, it’s difficult to still call it a trick of the mind, right? There’s also some students who claim they saw arms wrapped in bandages emerge from the darkness, at the exact timing that the lightning struck outside.”
“Oh…”
“Hm? What’s wrong, Kitten? You look a bit pale.”
“It’s because of your strange story…”
“Hehe! How cute. It’s going to be alright, Kitten. I’ll be by your side, after all.” Kou met Yui’s frightened eyes and shot her a sweet smile to put her at ease. “I’ll protect you. So… it has been a bit boring with all this rain lately. Shall we do some nightly exploration of the school for ourselves so we can figure out the truth behind the rumours?”
“What?!”
“Come on, let’s go!”
“W-wait a minute! Where are we going?”
Kou, who would not have taken ‘no’ for an answer either way, grabbed Yui’s hand and hurried pulled her along, down the hall. He swiftly dodged the students who were already starting to head home at this hour.
“W-wait! Slow down…”
“But there’s no time like the present, right? Besides, if we don’t hurry, my fans will only try to pull me aside. Let’s go to the others quickly!”
Kou led her in the direction of a far-away third-year classroom.
When the two of them walked through the door, the other Mukami brothers were already there. Yuma was straddling a chair, Azusa lingered by the window, and Ruki stood leaning with his back against the wall, his arms crossed.
“Hi, everyone! Sorry to keep you waiting. I brought our little Kitten!”
“You’re late, Kou. I was this close to goin’ home, even though you urged us to stay here ‘n wait.”
The discontent was plain on Yuma’s face. Kou muttered a half-serious apology to him and let go of Yui’s hand.
“Eve… did you run on your way here? You sound… out of breath…” Azusa tilted his head slightly to the side in concern for Yui.
“I’m okay, Azusa. Thank you.”
“Kou… If you need something from us, why gather us on campus?”
“Hehe. That’s because I need you all to be at school for this, ” Kou said, still beating around the bush.
Ruki glared daggers at his brother. Knowing he could not hold it off much longer, Kou decided to explain the situation.
“I was talking with Kitten about this earlier, but I heard an interesting story and I’d like you to know about it too! Have you heard the rumour that a ghost is haunting the school?”
“The one that’s making strange noises at night? I heard my classmates talkin’ ‘bout it.” Yuma clearly just wanted to know what mischief Kou was up to, making the blonde’s shoulders droop in disappointment.
“Oh, so you already know. Word certainly travels fast among the third-years.”
Ruki had a glaring suspicion about Kou’s intentions and decided to drive the point home before his brother could do it himself. “I suppose you weren’t going to ask us to look for the ghost with you, were you?”
“Hehe, bullseye!” Kou smiled broadly.
“Seriously? It’s just a rumour, though,” Yuma replied, sounding exasperated.
“How old are you? Don’t get so excited about this, Kou. Ghosts do not exist.” Ruki was referring to the fact that when someone dies and the moment their body perishes, a peculiar thing called the ‘soul’ perishes along with it. Ghosts were merely ridiculous fantasies; illusions invented by humans. Only ignorant children would be afraid of them… right?
However, Kou had already expected this reaction from Ruki and did not back down.
“Heh… I don’t think it’s good to decide that ghosts aren’t real without confirming anything ourselves. Right, Kitten?”
“Huh…? M-me?”
“Do you really believe this nonsense?” When Ruki turned to her, Yui instinctively straightened her spine.
“Not necessarily, but… It sounds a little scary, I think, but whether they’re actually real is another thing…”
“Kou, do you… really think the ghost… will appear? It might have just been… a trick of the mind, you know?”
“Of course I don’t believe the ghost actually exists.I don’t sense any other supernatural presences around here either, besides ourselves and the Sakamakis. Doesn’t that make you all the more interested in the hype around this ghost story?”
Ruki’s curiosity was piqued, if only a little, at Kou’s words. “Hm… You do have a point.”
It was easy to dismiss urban legends like this right away, but if there was a reality to this particular ghost story, that would change things.
“And what if people besides us are purposefully stirring up a ruckus at the academy? We can’t let that slide, right? So, I want to expose the truth behind these rumours! It won’t be fun if it’s just the four of us, though, so that’s why I brought Kitten with me.”
“I-I’m not going! Walking around the empty building at night sounds scary enough already, let alone when an actual ghost shows up…”
If the Mukami brothers could barely even make sense of the situation, didn’t that mean there was an actual chance a ghost was haunting the premises? When Yui thought of it like that, a chill ran down her spine.
“Heh, sounds fun!” Yuma put a hand on the back of the chair he’d been straddling and stood up with great vigour. “If she’s coming, I’m in, too!”
Yui was taken aback by his enthusiasm. “Yuma?!”
“I knew you’d come around, Yuma! Hey, Ruki. Please join us!”
“Alright. I do not care for ghosts, but I agree that we have to find out who’s causing all this trouble.”
“Right? Azusa, you’re coming too, aren’t you…? Azusa? Hello—?
“...”
Even as Kou’s eyes intently watched Azusa’s puzzled expression, the younger brother still didn’t answer. He raised a hand to his mouth as if in deep thought. Thinking it strange, Yui instinctively called out.
“Azusa?”
“Huh? Ah, I’m sorry… If you’re all going… then I will join you.”
“Great, that settles it! Let’s wait here for a bit until the school empties out.”
“H-hold on a second… Don’t I get a say in this?”
“Your opinion does not matter. Were you thinking of going home all by yourself, then?” Ruki said.
“Oh…” Met with four stares that left little room for protest, Yui reluctantly went along with their plans.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Several hours passed.
By the time all lights in the academy had been turned off and the emergency exit signs were the only source of light in the halls, the five began their search. The building had fallen completely silent. Only their footsteps and the distant sound of the rain outside could be heard.
Kou pulled Yui along by her hand and walked slightly ahead of the others.
“Hey, Kou… I don’t like going first.”
“Why?”
“Because it’ll be even scarier if something appears…”
“It’s okay, really! You can lag behind if you want, but something might creep up behind you.”
“L-like what?”
“Who knows? But I’m right in front of you and Ruki and the others are right behind you. Don’t you think this is the safest position for you to be in?
Though Kou encouraged Yui to move to whatever position she wanted, she felt unable to do so. She decided to quietly follow behind Kou. They had been walking around the school for a little while now, but had not noticed anything out of the ordinary yet.
Fed up with their aimlessly walking around, Yuma began to complain. “Hey, Kou. Nothing’s happened so far.”
“You’re too impatient, Yuma. We haven’t even been walking around for that long.”
“I feel no other presences nearby, nor have I heard that particular ‘sound’ you were talking about. Do you think it’s wary of us?” Ruki whispered, frowning as he surveyed his surroundings.
“Hey… If this really is a ghost’s doing, what do we even do? It probably won’t worship us or anything…”
Ignoring Yui’s worries completely, Yuma clutched his stomach and could not keep from bursting into laughter. “Pff, haha! You dummy. Why’d it worship us?”
“Because—isn’t that what they say about ghosts? That they worship people?
“Then they’d only worship you.”
“What…?”
“They only worship people, right?”
Yui tilted her head to the side, not quite understanding what Yuma was saying right away, but Ruki filled her in.
“Because we are vampires, after all. Besides, I don’t understand why you would be afraid of something as abstract as ghosts.”
“But… You never know! They might worship vampires too!”
While Yui desperately clung to her theory, Azusa and Kou decided to rub salt in the wound.
“I think… we’re stronger than ghosts, though...”
“I know, right? I think they’d be repulsed rather than worship us.”
“Ah…” With nobody agreeing with her, Yui felt her position becoming more and more vulnerable. On top of being forced into this situation, she was the only one who was actually scared.
Kou watched her intently, an almost reproachful expression on his face. “Oh, this won’t do. Even if you pout at me that way, I’ll just think you’re cute. But hey, I’ll protect you whatever happens, so stay calm, alright?” He winked at her in a way only an experienced idol could.
When Yui thought about it, being surrounded by four vampires—former humans, but still—probably was the safest position for her to be in, oddly enough. There was no way vampires would lose to an intangible ghost.
However, precisely because they were dealing with something intangible made it difficult for Yui to suppress her nerves. She desperately fought to keep the fear from overtaking.
The five walked around for a little while longer, Yui securely in the middle, but nothing happened.
“This is weird… Maybe it really is wary of us, like Ruki said. I wonder if it doesn’t like being ganged up on by a large group of people.”
“How about we split up then?”
“Right! If we go in small groups, the ghost might be more motivated to come out.”
“What…?! I don’t like the idea of splitting up.”
“We’re not asking for your opinion. That said, you would be in trouble if we left you alone, so… Yuma?”
Yuma looked puzzled when Ruki called his name. “Huh? What, Ruki?”
“Keep her company. If one of us goes with her, we’ll be able to swiftly deal with any unforeseen situations.”
“Yeah, true… Alright, Kou. We’re switchin’.”
Kou complied with Yuma’s demand, though the displeasure was clear on his face. The blonde might have rebelled against this change if Yuma had been the one to ask, but Ruki’s orders, on the other hand, were simply to be followed.
“Ah, what a shame. I was looking forward to holding hands with Kitten for a little longer.”
Kou reluctantly let go of Yui’s hand and surrendered his spot to Yuma.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
After that, Yui and Yuma split up from the rest of the group and began exploring the school anew.
It’s so quiet when it’s just the two of us walking around… Not feeling brave enough to speak up, Yui kept quiet and followed Yuma. I hope we can meet up with the others soon… If the ghost comes out now, I wonder if we’ll make it to them if we run.
“Hey, Sow… Why’re you shufflin’ behind me the entire time? Go out in front.”
“What?! N-no! I can’t!”
“There ain’t no way in hell that ghost is real, so no need to be such a scaredy-cat. You’re only makin’ yourself look more like an idiot.”
“I-I don’t care if I look like an idiot…! Some things are meant to be feared!”
“Ha! There ya go again… If I wanna leave , I’ll leave!” As if to get the irritation out of his system, Yuma banged his fist against the wall beside him.
Yui’s eyes snapped shut for a brief moment, but she did not flinch when she returned Yuma’s gaze, his face suddenly much closer than before.
“But…”
“But what?”
“Don’t you think… if vampires exist, then ghosts might exist too?”
“Hm… Sounds pretty funny comin’ from you, but nah, they don’t exist.” One corner of Yuma’s mouth curved upwards into a mocking grin. He let out a laugh. He seemed pretty convinced that ghosts were not a thing of this world.
CLATTER—!
“...!”
A clattering sound suddenly came from one of the classrooms. It startled Yui, making her tremble. “That wasn’t… in my head, was it?”
A lick of ice-cold fear slid down Yui’s spine. She quickly hid behind Yuma.
“You… Why’re you hiding? You’ve got some guts usin’ me as a shield.”
“B-but…” She could not find the words to speak—she was simply too scared. She crouched in on herself behind Yuma in an effort to hide.
The sound seemed to have come from the empty, unused classroom near them. It was pitch-black. Nobody seemed to be inside.
“I’m gonna go look.”
“What?! W-wait, Yuma!”
Yuma ignored Yui’s pleas and opened the door to the classroom. He thoroughly inspected the room, but still, there was not a soul in sight. As though expecting someone to be hiding, Yuma set foot into the classroom.
“Y-Yuma, don’t! It’s dangerous!”
“Ha! You’re scared shitless, aren’t ya? Just wait here. I’ll only have a quick look inside.”
The only thing coming in from outside was the sound of the rain. Not even a sliver of moonlight fell into the room. The ominous darkness gradually swallowed Yuma’s form whole as he walked farther away.
Oh no… If something comes out at me, I’ll…
Yui’s heart hammered against her ribcage, and just when her eyes inadvertently fluttered closed—she felt something brushing up against her leg. Goosebumps rose on her skin. She couldn’t keep her voice from leaking.
“Eek!”
Yuma rushed back when he heard her cry out, but still found no traces of anything lurking in the shadows close to where Yui was standing, nor in the deserted classroom.
“Damn, don’t scream like that! I thought somethin’ happened!”
“B-but… something… touched my leg…”
“What?! What the hell was it?”
In the end, the two never figured out what it could have been. The sky, still clouded with heavy rain, slowly started to become brighter.
“Shit. It’s close to mornin’ already. Hey, Sow? We should get back to Ruki ‘n the others. We’re done for today.”
“For today? You don’t mean…” A heavy sense of dread fell upon Yui, but she did not need to finish her sentence.
The anxious look on her face made Yuma’s lips curl up into a sadistic smile.
“We’ll be back for round two tomorrow.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
The next night, Yui was accompanied by Azusa on their rounds through the school hallways. Yui kept a tight grip on Azusa’s left arm and had no intention of letting him go.
“Eve… If you hold on to me like that… it’s a bit difficult to move…”
“Oh! I-I’m sorry, Azusa! I’m still not quite used to this…”
“...”
“Azusa?”
“Ah… What is it…?”
Yui was even more unsettled by Azusa’s restlessness. He’s been lost in thought the entire time, she thought.
“Hey, Azusa? Is something wrong…? You haven’t seen the… g-ghost, have you?”
“Huh? Oh, no… I haven’t.”
“Ah… That’s a relief.”
“Are you… really that scared? Then… here.”
“Huh…?”
Azusa came to a halt and pulled Yui into a hug with his other arm, gently patting her back as he whispered into her ear. “Eve… I’m here with you. Even if something comes after you… I’ll protect you. But… are you maybe worried… that it’s just me…?”
“No, not at all… Thank you. I think I might be a little less scared now.”
“I’m glad… to make myself useful.” Azusa smiled softly, but then his gaze quickly shifted to the window.
He really is worried about something… I wonder what’s gotten into him…
Once again, the night ended without them coming any closer to finding the source of the strange sound.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Along came the third night of exploring the academy.
Carefully calculating when the building would empty out, the five once again split up and made their rounds. The never-ending rain had abated into a drizzle for a brief moment, but before long, it was pouring once again. The weather showed no signs of letting up.
“It really won’t stop raining. It would be nice to be able to see the moon, though…”
The night sky was covered by heavy rain clouds. Yui had been looking out of the window while she was walking down the hall, but in the meantime, Ruki—who had been right next to her only a moment earlier—had already put several steps in between them. Yui half-ran to catch up to him.
“You seem awfully careless today. Have you already overcome your fear of ghosts?”
“N-not exactly, but… This is the third day already, so it’s getting a little… Ah!”
Maybe Yui’s attention slipped because she was relieved to walk beside Ruki again, as she suddenly stumbled and nearly fell over. Ruki immediately extended his arms, swiftly catching Yui and keeping her from falling.
“T-thank you…”
“If you let down your guard like that, bad things will happen—like this, for example.”
“Huh…?”
The ominous tone of Ruki’s voice caught Yui’s attention. She tilted her face upwards to look at him.
Ruki looked pointedly somewhere behind her, nodding in the same direction as if to urge her to do the same. Yui’s hands were braced on his upper arms as he held her, and her grip only tightened at the thought of something being at her back.
“I-is something there?”
Yui was hit by an indescribable wave of anxiety. Her breath involuntarily caught in her throat, but she bolstered her resolve and gingerly looked over her shoulder.
There was nothing but the long, dark, gloomy hallway stretching out behind her.
“N-nothing’s there, right? Wait, were you… Huh…?”
“You said you’d gotten used to it, right? I figured I’d test you. It seems like you don’t have your fear under control just yet, though.”
“Ah…!”
Yui’s cheeks flushed bright red. Had Ruki really been toying with her, even though he knew she was scared?
“That’s not fair…! You can’t just play with me like that… I’ve gotten a little more used to walking through the dark hallways, but you know I’m scared of ghosts…!”
Yui crouched down on the ground, her face between her knees, both mortified and scared beyond her wits. Any regular male student might have been worried, might have tried to calm her down, but Ruki showed no signs of showing her such kindness.
“Don’t make a fuss. How long are you going to sit like that? If you don’t feel like moving, I’ll leave you here.” Quickly dismissing Yui’s worries, Ruki did not bother to cast her another glance and began walking away.
“Oh… W-wait up!”
Not knowing where to direct her fear and frustration with being ignored, Yui’s head was full of chaos. Still, she would not be able to bear being left alone like this, and so she hurried back to Ruki.
Yui felt herself grow stiff while she walked behind him. Just then, a strange sound reached her ears.
“...Did you hear that?”
“It came from that classroom. Do you want to check it out?”
It was a different sound from the one she had heard with Yuma the day before yesterday. This one clearly sounded like someone was rummaging around… and it kept going.
“Ruki…”
“There’s definitely someone here.”
Ruki opened the door to the classroom with great force.
The moonlight did not quite reach the room because of the heavy rain—it was darker than the hallway had been—and the unoccupied desks and chairs were nothing but eerie silhouettes.
When Yui’s eyes had gotten used to the darkness, though, she saw someone standing there with her back to her—someone familiar. Recognition struck her.
“Huh… Azusa?” The words just slipped out.
At Yui’s surprised voice, Azusa slowly turned around to face them. He looked just as surprised to see them. “Eve… Ruki…”
“Azusa? What are you doing here?” Ruki took a step forward and had barely finished speaking…
And then, it happened.
“Found you—!”
Yui looked in the direction of the voice reverberating through the hallway, she spotted Kou running towards them. Their eyes met. Kou raised his voice as if he’d known all along how this would end.
“Grab it, Kitten!”
“What?!”
Yui followed Kou’s finger pointing ahead. A small, black shadow darted out in front of him. Kou had clearly ordered her to catch it, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it right away. While she stood there hesitating for a moment, the black shadow collided with her chest on its own.
Out of sheer reflex, Yui wrapped her arms around it immediately. It felt heavier than she’d thought, and softer to the touch. The unexpected sensation almost made her drop it, but she regained her posture and held it tightly.
“Nice catch, Kitten!”
Kou was out of breath, having run at full speed, as he pointed at the black lump in Yui’s arms. “That’s… the cause… of the ghost story… the source of the sounds… is that cat.”
Yui suddenly realised she was holding a black cat. Its tail pointed upwards, the fur fluffed up as it eyed Kou suspiciously. In an effort to calm down the evidently upset cat, she gently stroked its back. “It’s okay… Don’t be scared…”
“Wow… Have you seen the way it’s staring at me?” Kou breathed.
“Isn’t that because you were chasing it?”
“I had to! Of course it’s going to run if someone tries to catch it.”
“Hey, hey! What’s with all the—what the fuck! What’s that black thing?”
Yuma burst into the room after having heard the commotion. Yui had only just managed to calm down the cat a little, but in response to Yuma’s voice, the black cat’s tail fluffed up again.
“Whoa, that’s a pretty rough-lookin’ cat… But wait, what’s a cat doing on campus?”
A nod from Ruki confirmed his brother’s unspoken suspicions. “If this cat is the cause of the ghost story going around, I wonder how it managed to sneak into the academy and cause such an upheaval.”
If the cat had snuck in while the students and teachers were on campus, it could not have gone unnoticed. The fact that nobody was aware of a cat on campus must mean that it had snuck in sometime late at night, when the school was already empty.
However, that still begged the question how it came in. The campus was built in such a way that it seemed unlikely for the cat to have come inside easily. If that was the case, maybe someone had purposefully lured the cat inside and hidden it from everyone…
How did this little one even get here…? Yui was at a loss as she stared at the black ball of fur in her arms, but the only response she got from it was a loud meow.
Azusa, who had been quiet up until now, suddenly joined the conversation. “I’m sorry… Actually, this cat… is here because I was… looking after it…” He apologetically raised his right hand.
“Huh? Azusa, you’ve been taking care of this cat…?”
“Yeah… I’ll talk you through what happened…” Azusa began explaining the origins of the ghost story and how the cat had infiltrated the school. “About a month ago… I found this cat in the school courtyard, but…”
Azusa’s story went something like this: one day, he had found a weakened black kitten. He had given it something to eat and soon began to look after it. Even after it had mostly recovered, the heavy rain continued to fall, and Azusa had felt the need to keep checking in on it out of sheer worry.
As he suspected, the cat had fallen ill again after a while. Azusa had pitied the little black cat and made sure to gently stroke it and talk to it. Eventually, he brought it to this classroom so he could take better care of it.
“Oh, Azusa, you’re too kind,” Kou said, carefully approaching the cat so as to not startle it, and petted it. The cat seemed to have gotten a little more used to him. It was more docile now, allowing Kou’s gentle touch.
“That’s not… true… In the end, I only… ended up scaring the cat…”
“What do you mean?”
“When the cat became healthier… I got a little careless… After it escaped from this classroom where I’d been taking care of it… I lost track of where it went…”
“So that means this cat roamed the school at night, and the kids mistook the sounds it made for a ghost… and that led to the ghost story?”
Azusa nodded in response to Yuma’s question. “I think those sounds… must have been the cat running away or playing around… and when I couldn’t find it for a while… it must have been hiding somewhere… because it was scared…”
“Yeah, that’s fair… It’s pretty scary to be chased around, after all.”
Kou nodded exaggeratedly, but the brothers’ reactions were pretty mild overall, as though these kinds of things happened on the regular. Yui thought it strange, but tried to gloss over it by shooting Azusa one more question.
“The students were talking about an ‘arm wrapped in bandages’ poking out from the darkness… So that was…”
“Yeah… They must have seen… me. As soon as I heard the rumours about the ghost… and knowing about the cat, it just clicked… so, lately… I’ve been looking for it by myself…”
“Ha… so that’s it. That ghost story was brought to life just ‘cause of Azusa and this black cat.”
“Good grief… You certainly caused trouble.”
With all questions answered, Yuma and Ruki looked even more exasperated than before.
“Azusa… Of all places to take care of a cat, you should not have done it at school. If you’d just taken it home, it wouldn’t have caused such a stir.” (2)
“I thought it might… bother you…”
“Well, that’s Azusa for you. But this wouldn’t have inconvenienced us at all! We’re brothers, right?” Kou said light-heartedly in an effort to cheer up Azusa, whose eyes were downcast.
“Of course. Don’t be so reserved, Azusa.”
Touched by the kindness of his brothers, Azusa smiled cheerily. “Yeah… Thank you, all of you…”
“So, uh… What do we do with the cat?” When Yui handed the cat over to Azusa, it began loudly purring in his arms.
“How about we bring it home with us?”
“I don’t mind either.”
The cat could suffer a grim fate if we leave it here like this and someone else finds it… What if it becomes weak again? What if it dies?
“Ruki… Would it be alright if we took it home?”
Everyone’s eyes naturally shifted to Ruki.
“We can’t decide that so easily. If the cat belongs to someone who lives somewhere around the campus, shouldn’t we return it to its home? Don’t they say that dogs tend to be attached to their masters, and cats are attached to their homes?”
Ruki had a point, but Kou was not yet convinced, especially seeing how Azusa felt for the cat he’d been taking care of for so long. “But look how attached it is to Azusa…”
“Thank you, Kou… I’m alright… The cat’s happiness is… the most important, after all…”
“Well, if Azusa’s fine with it, then I’m fine with it… Ah, I’m so tired from chasing the cat. Hey, Kitten. Can I lay my head in your lap (3) when we get home?”
“What?!”
The subject of the conversation shifted from the cat to something else so quickly that it almost gave Yui whiplash.
When Yuma joined in as well, it became even more confusing. “Hey, Kou. You’re not the only one who’s tired! You don’t get to keep all the fun for yourself.”
“But I worked really hard, you know? Don’t you think I deserve to ask for a small reward?”
“I don’t. I ran pretty damn hard myself! Hell, I was the only one who actually ran.”
“What? How do you know? I definitely ran the hardest!”
“Nah, I did!”
“I’m telling you, I did!”
Kou and Yuma’s bickering escalated quickly, neither of them realising their fight was getting farther and farther away from the issue at hand.
“Christ, this is not worth fighting over.”
“But… it’s kind of fun, isn’t it?”
Ruki averted his eyes, clearly fed up with his brothers’ antics, while Azusa warmly watched over the two.
It would be nice if they forgot about the laying–his-head-in-my-lap thing, too… Yui thought. When her gaze flicked to the window, she noticed that the rain that had plagued the city, pouring incessantly for days on end, had let up.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
A little while later, the black cat left the campus, and the ghost story that had haunted the academy quickly receded into the students’ and teachers’ memories.
THE END
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
家鳴(やな)り:Lit. the ‘rattling of a house,’ meaning things like creaking windows, the air vents, the sounds you sometimes hear when the walls or window panes expand due to moisture or heat, things like that.
Not a translation note but Ruki, sir, with your history of ‘taking care’ of cats, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea…
膝枕(ひざまくら): Lit. ‘knee/lap pillow,’ meaning to use someone’s lap as a pillow, laying your head in someone’s lap.
#this story was so fun to translate omg. azusa my BABY!!!!!#and i also want ruki to scare the living daylights out of me tbvh..... please......#i tend to take some (small) creative liberties when translating longer texts just to make the story flow better btw#so other japanese-speaking people: pls don't come for me haha#also i'm sorry for being so slow this week my summer break is over and i had to get back to work again so i've been a little tired aaa#next up is something very exciting though............. which i'll also be able to release in smaller parts!#diabolik lovers#dialovers#diabolik lovers translation#diabolik lovers translations#diahell#otomehonyaku#my translations#mukami ruki#ruki mukami#mukami kou#kou mukami#mukami yuma#mukami yuuma#yuuma mukami#yuma mukami#mukami azusa#azusa mukami#diabolik lovers grand edition
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Angsty Continuation of this Crack Szeth/Kaladin Time Travel AU:
"Sir, may I speak with you? It's a matter of some importance."
Dalinar looked up sharply, locking eyes with his Captain of the Guard.
Some of the clerks he had been meeting with had bristled, affronted as ever by what many saw as the unreasonably jumped up dark eyes. His intrusion into the room with barely a knock probably hadn't helped their opinion.
Dalinar ignored them for the moment, choosing instead to maintain eye contact. A chill ran down his spine.
Stormfather. When had the Captain started looking so…worn out? The man's gaze had always been strikingly intense, tired shadows kept at bay by a fiery rage. But now… Dalinar had perhaps seen that expression before, in a dying Chasmfiend. Embers of an unfathomably immense blaze, finally burning itself out. The heat it gave off still enough to scorch a man, but dying nevertheless.
He felt a twinge of guilt. Surely… he hadn't done that? Almight knows he asked a lot of the young man, too much perhaps. But storms… no, something must have happened. He had just seen the man, what, yesterday? Perhaps it had been a week since they had spoken more than in passing, but still. A week of overwork didn't burn through a person like that.
The Highprince cleared his throat. "I assume this has something to do with security?"
Captain Kaladin nodded firmly.
"Very well. Zaninel, Sherath, you're dismissed."
They left without a word, and barely a glare. Perhaps they had also caught something in the Captain's expression.
Kaladin closed the door behind him as he entered. He proceeded to the table, then all but collapsed into the chair across from the Highprince.
Dalinar raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.
The darkeyed man rubbed a hand across his forehead, palm seeming to linger across the brands there. He started, sitting up.
"Sorry sir," he said hoarsely. "I forgot myself."
He pushed his weight forward as if to stand, but Dalinar waved him back.
"Its alright," he said. "I'm not one to make a soldier stand when hes clearly on his last chip."
The Captain sagged back.
"I apologize for the breach in decorum, I… last night…" He sighed, squaring his shoulder's and seeming to steel himself. "Well, sir, there's been vital matters I've been debating how to best present to your attention, but now one aspect has come to a head. Bridge four had… a visitor to our fire last night, scared the light out of my men. I've been trying to figure out what to do with him all night."
"A visitor?" Dalinar frowned. "This man is a security concern?"
Kaladin barked a humorless laugh. "It would be fair to say that, yes."
Dalinar waited for more of an explanation.
Kaladin sighed heavily. "I'd like to make a request sir."
"A request."
"That you not immediately put this man to death."
"Not…immediately?" Dalinar felt like an idiotic river spren, only able to mimic words/ But for the life of him, he had no idea where this conversation was going.
The captain nodded, drumming his fingers on the table. "I think he's of more value alive than dead, sir. And… I swore to try and help him regain some measure of his sanity. I can't do that if you kill him on sight."
"Kelek's Breath!" Dalinar said with some disbelief. "This madman if yours, he's truly so alarming, that you think I would do such a thing?"
Kaladin nodded, and Dalinar felt dread pool in his stomach.
"Who is this man?" he whispered.
"His name is Szeth."
"Szeth."
"Yes sir."
"That sounds like a Shin name."
"It is sir."
Dalanir stared down at the Captain, uncertain at what point he had stood up.
"Captain Stormblessed," he said with calm he didnt feel. "I can think of only one Shin man that I would desire to kill on sight."
Kaladin winced, then looked up locking those exhausted, burning eyes with his. "Yes."
"The assassin in white is here." Dalinar stated flatly.
"Yes."
The Highprince took a deep breath to steady himself. "The assassin who killed my brother?"
"Yes."
"The assassin who has been killing world leaders, throwing kingdoms into chaos."
"Yes."
Dalinar grabbed the lapels of Kaladin's jacket, towing him up with an enraged growl. He breathed heavily for a moment , attempting to restrain himself as he stared at that tired, dark expression.
"I trusted you," he hissed. "I trusted you with everything I had, everyone I loved, and you've been working with the Assassin in White."
Storms, did he feel tears in his eyes? Surely this betrayal couldn't hurt worse than Sadeas, but the dagger sharp pain in his sternum said otherwise. Had it all been a ruse? The tower, the retreat, Oathbringer…all one large, intricate lie to trick an old fool?
"No." The captain said firmly, meeting his unsaid questions with a steady, inarguable honesty.
"No, your maj — Sir. No, I have not been working with him. No, I had nothing to do with your brothers death — I was a child at the time, and Szeth and I hadn't even met. When we did first meet, I fought him. Then we fought again. I thought I killed him. I… I actually did kill him, from what i understand."
Kaladin Stormblessed's expression went very far away, but his words continued with that discordant lighteyed crispness he had had from that start.
"He was brought back by… a higher power. I'll explain what I can, but honestly, there's a lot a don't understand. He still very disturbed, but he is trying. He's taking another step along the journey, each day. Szeth is only a danger to himself now."
Stormblessed paused, then looked pained anew.
"Well…mostly. He's prepared to serve you, including as a killer. And…he's indicated that he's similarly willing to listen to my commands. He trusts me, sir. It…I realize this puts you in an uncomfortable position."
Dalinar felt his fingers unclench, and he lowered Stormblessed gently to his seat. There was no question in his mind if he could accept the Captain's word on this, he knew as instinctively as ever that this mans could be trusted.
Knew it more now than ever, seeing in those eyes a man who would rather break himself than break his oaths.
The pain of betrayal ebbed away, leaving a mess of emotions and thoughts in their wake.
Dalinar sat back heavily, rattling the maps and folios on the table.
"Storms!" He scrubbed a hand across his face. "You realize how mad this is, right?"
Kaladin laughed humorlessly. "Very much so."
"I —" Dalinar didn't know where to begin. "Where is he right now?"
"My office — my quarters in the Bridge Four Barrack."
"And he's under guard?"
"I have the Lopen and Rock switching off with him, but like I said, hes rather not a threat to anyone right."
"The Lop— wait, isn't Rock your cook's name?"
"Yessir. And you’ve probably seen Lopen before, he's hard to miss —small, loud, Herdassian."
"The one with one arm? You have a cook and a one armed man guarding the most dangerous man alive? Guarding a known shardbarer?" Dalinar found himself standing again, voice close to a shout. He forced himself back down.
Kaladin smiled weakly for some reason. "He gave me his shardblade, actually. As part of his surrender."
Dalinar glanced at Kaladin's hands, as if to find a shardblade he hadn't noticed.
The Captain opened his mouth, but Dalinar raised a hand. "…I'm not going to enjoy your answer on the location of that either, am I."
"Probably not, no."
Stormlight AU Masterlist
#stormlight archive#stormlight fanfic#my au#stormlight au no 31#kaladin stormblessed#nevertheless cosmere#Kaladin: Keeping him alive is your best chance at reforming the knight's radiant#Dalinar: you want me to have him teach my men??#Kaladin: No i'll do that. but my help is conditional on keeping him alive and letting me treat his mental health.#Dalinar:#Kaladin: ignore my men's snickering about treating him#Dalinar: I think you might have forgotten to mention something#Kaladin: I've been working on a way to help so called madmen — Drehy if you don't stop laughing I'm throwing you in a chasm#Dalinar: the knight's radiant. you teaching how to be a radiant.#Kaladin: ...I mean I DID say I beat him in a duel to the death. I don't know how I was supposed to do that without surgebinding.#Dalinar:...#Dalinar: I think it might be time for that longer explanation#Kaladin: Yeah that's fair
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Warm Coco (speedpaint)
#kris#deltarune#kris deltarune#speedpaint#hallo#i was able to draw for myself finally now that the semester was over#i died for two weeks and am arguably still dying (work... again...) but am doing my best to keep doing things#will try and iron out some details for another magma soon since there was a lot of interest in another one after the halloween one#i *was* gonna see if anyone was available this week but i was too drained to make a poll and a plan#so it might have to wait until after christmas#but soon! ...hopefully#anyway i tried the default watercolor brushes mixed with the one i usually use#they work well together :>#between those two and the pencil brush i was able to get in a lot of fun textures and smears#will try this again but it took a lot longer than what i normally do#so next time will be a lot more planned#also i'm proud as hell of those hands lets gooooo#ooh i just realized i forgot to finish something#i won't say what in case nobody notices it but i will know#but i am too lazy to fix it and redo the speedpaint so it shall stay like this
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You're always drawing and I was wondering what you do for a living to have so much free time? I'm sorry if my question is too personal.
I'm a medical assistant at 2 places (so technically I have 1,5 jobs) I do go to work physically, but especially with the second place I do a lot of stuff remotely. Both places are pretty close to where I live (the farthest one is 30 mins away by bike).
The reason why I'm drawing all the time is simple - more sane people are reading books, playing games etc. etc. in their free time, I draw. I treat it as a hobby, it brings me lots of joy, I relax while doing it (when I don't put some ridiculous pressure on myself ofc). Plus I don't have any social life so :D more time to put my blorbos on a canvas.
And honestly, the stuff I've been posting here in the past 2-3 months are mostly just ask doodles, which most of the time take me under 1 hour to make. Some of them aren't even my proudest work, they're mostly messy. Plus I kinda found the most efficient way to do stuff, a brush I really feel and like that allows me to color very fast, swatches so I don't have to mess around with color wheel etc. etc.
Like here, this one took me 40 minutes. It's messy, there aren't any details really. (It's Connie pre-trap exploding incident that humbled his ass down btw.)
#ask me anything#tbh i've been feeling kinda like i went into quantity instead of quality recently? i do try to sit longer with drawings I make#but on the other hand... i'm feeling like a kid who got a fresh new box of crayons#connecticut tav#just to clarify i love doing these ask doodles btw#most of the time I treat them as warm ups before I work on something bigger#a lot of them allowed me to focus on ideas i had but didn't prioritise#and some of them are real creative sparks
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and this is also why i think that any meaningful community building/advocacy/support around madness/neurodivergence/mental illness needs to be founded on principles of liberation and abolition, and that we need to be able to distinguish between people who are allies based on our shared values + goals, and between people who use some of the same language as us, but are fundamentally advocating for separate things.
One example I see a lot of is the idea of "lived experience" professionals, people who have a career in the mental health system and who also have some personal experience with mental illness. These professionals oftentimes will talk about their own negative experiences in the mental health system, and come into their careers with a genuine desire to improve the experience of patients. But their impact is incredibly limited by the system they have chosen to work in: the coercive elements of psychiatry incentivize professionals to buy into the existing power structures instead of disrupting them. And as a whole, many lived experience professionals end up getting exploited and tokenized by their employers and used as an attempt to make carceral psychiatry seem more palatable. Professionals in this dynamic are not working to effectively challenge the structural violence of their profession: they become complicit, even if they do also have good intentions and provide individual support.
(I do know some radical providers who have found innovative ways to fuck up the system and destabilize and shift power in their workplaces, but this is a very small number of providers and is not most of the lived experience providers I've talked with.)
Another example I see a lot in our spaces has to do with the evolution of the neurodiversity paradigm. I feel a very deep connection to the original conceptualization of neurodiversity and neurodivergent as coined by Kassiane Asasumasu, but in recent years I've seen a lot of people using neurodivergent language in a way that feels pretty dramatically different than the foundational principles. This isn't saying that people should stop using ND terminology or that all neurodivergent spaces are like this--rather, I just want to point out some trends I see in certain communities, both online and in my in personal life. Although people will often use neurodivergent language and on the surface, seem allied with concepts of deinstitutionalization, acceptance, etc, the values and structure in these community spaces often rely heavily on ideas of classification based in DSM, and build very prescriptive and rigid models for categorizing different types of neurodivergence in a way that ends up excluding some M/MI/ND people. Certain types of knowledge are valued over other types of knowledge, and certain diagnoses are prioritized as worthy of support over others. There's a lot of value placed on identifying and classifying many types of behaviors, beliefs, thoughts, actions, into specific categories, and a lack of solidarity between different diagnoses or the wider disability community.
Again, this isn't to say that ND terminology is bad or useless--I think it is an incredibly helpful explanatory model/shorthand for finding community and will call myself neurodivergent, and find a lot of value in community identification and sharing of wisdom. I just feel like it's important to realize that not every ND person, organization, or initiative, is actually invested in the project of fighting for our liberation.
when thinking about our activism, as abolitionists, it's important to be very specific about what our goals, values, and tactics are. For example, understanding the concept of non-reformist reforms helps us distinguish what immediate goals are useful, versus what reforms work to increase the carceral power of the psychiatric system. And when building our own value systems and trying to build alternative ways of caring for ourselves and our communities, we need to be able to evaluate what brings us closer to autonomy, freedom, and interdependence. I need people to understand that just because someone is also against psych hospitalization does not mean that they are also allies in the project of letting mad people live free, authentic, meaningful, and supported lives, and that oftentimes people's allyship is conditional on our willingness to conform to their ideas of a "good" mentally ill person.
#personal#psych abolition#mad liberation#surviving psych#antipsych#neurodivergent#also to be clear i'm not saying any of this as a way to say some people are more or less disabled than others#or that becoming a provider makes you no longer neurodivergent or something#but rather this is discussion of activism + strategy + goals + tactics#not a commentary on "who counts as disabled or who deserves support#this is talking about: how do we build the type of world where mad people are liberated and how can we tell who is also working towards tha
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random drabble bc I like this dynamic (yes it's actually 100 words lol):
The conversation flowed like it always did, as if nothing had changed. And Vox hated it, hated how much he still loved the animated lilt of Alastor’s voice, the bright look in his eyes. How could it make Vox so happy, to be around the person he hated the most?
“I still love you,” he admitted abruptly, hand on Alastor’s chest.
He only blinked in reply at first, a strange look on his face. “... I know,” Alastor murmured eventually. “But there’s nothing there.” He covered Vox’s hand with his, holding it there and squeezing. Vox felt his heart beating anyway.
#I'm working on a longer thing that was going to expand on this but ended up being a sequel to something I wrote already#oh well#hazbin hotel#writing#my writing#fic#radiostatic#radiosilence#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel vox
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Sasuke takes a great deal of pleasure in flustering you and seeing the way that your cheeks redden when he does, having taken a liking to referring to you as his 'lil' tomato' on such occasions. Most especially when you happen to be in public and he can lean in close to whisper it teasingly, voice low in your ear and breath hot as his lips ghost over your pulse, before playfully nipping at your neck as he asks if he can have a taste. They're his favourite, after all. He revels in the noise you make in response, the way the affectionate nickname only serves to make you blush deeper as you give him a gentle shove, heat emanating from your face. Only for Sasuke to pull away with a satisfied smirk, gazing at you with such intense fondness it makes your heart go faulty in your chest.
#i'm working on something longer that was meant for my birthday#but it's late as usual >.<#so have this for now!!!#chelsuke coded... jdfbvhjdv#sasuke uchiha#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke fluff#naruto#naruto x reader#🖊️
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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