#I'm under no obligation to provide this service

[rivercityrabbitsbro]

Playing a game of chicken with a client who keeps asking me to set up functionally a dropbox link for something not claims related, and I keep going "sure send me the date it happened", and she keeps going "it's not a claim just send me a link" and I keep going "unfortunately I need the date of the incident to make the link" and she keeps calling the salesman saying "She didn't send me the link yet :(" and he complains to me and I email her going "Hi! As discussed, please forward the date of the incident so the link can be set up"

I do not technically need a date, but it's my fileshare system that I structured my way. If you're gonna be too lazy to use one of the free ones and instead bug me, I'm gonna make you stick to my made up rules.

[celestialprincesse]

Following up from this idea here!

⋆˙⟡♡

The last twelve months had been surprisingly productive for Simon. He'd been reticent at first, pushed back against the barrage of support provided for him by both the military and those who'd remained close to him outside of mere workplace obligation. That said, it hadn't taken him long to realise how big of a change a civilian lifestyle would be after twelve years of active service. Therapy had been an uphill battle, but Tina, the nice lady he saw twice weekly, who specialised in supporting veterans and those suffering with complex PTSD, was as patient as a saint, and had eventually helped him to open up.

He still, however, struggled to find a new sense of purpose. Life had become quiet, sluggish and static. When Tina had suggested he get a pet, he'd tentatively agreed.

"Hi there! How can I help you today?" Is the sweet voice that shakes him from his thoughts, bringing him back to reality only to realise he now stands at the front of the queue, before the desk of his local adoption centre.

"I'm looking to adopt..." He trails off, somewhat awkward and still a little unsure of whether there's some sort of protocol with these things. "A dog. I'm looking to adopt a dog."

After having quietly filled in the required forms, nervous under the warm gaze of the front desk attendant, he allows himself to be shown to the kennels in which the canine residents of the centre play, sleep and eat. With a nervous, almost shy gaze, Simon takes in the rowdy pack of dogs before him, before crouching to meet the crowd of wet noses coming to check him out.

"Have you got any preferences?" You pipe up from behind him, absently scratching behind the ears of a three legged Bernese Mountain dog, Lucky, who stands loyally at your heels.

"Just - um," Simon murmurs, looking between you, the dog at your feet, and a funny looking beagle, intent on sniffing at the contents of his pockets. "Just some company really. Therapist told me I needed a reason to get out, so..."

Taking his silence as an invitation to speak up, a pensive hum fills the room as you flick though the chart listing the animals currently up for adoption, and what their ideal situation would be. "You said you're quite physically active?" You probe, shooting him a glance.

"Yeah. I run and stuff. Like to try and stay fit."

Another hum of confirmation breaks the quiet as you rule out some of the less mobile options, and, having seen the way he grimaced at a slightly dishevelled Chihuahua, you take the incentive to rule out the smaller lap dogs too. You can't help but to note the way he looks between you and your own little canine friend, a look you've seen countless times on the faces of clients, the look that says that they're interested.

"I'd introduce the two of you, but she's already spoken for I'm afraid." You hum, a wry smile pulling at your lips when you note the expression on his face, surprised at your astute observation. "She's not exactly the most mobile, either."

"Oh, yeah. Right." He stammers back awkwardly, shooting you a bashful smile.

"I do, however, have someone that might take your fancy?"

Taking the laminated sheet from your offered hand, Simon is met with a grainy image of an earnest looking dog, big, marble eyes seemingly staring at him from off of the page.

"He only came in a couple days back. Golden shepherd mix from what we can tell. About four and really good natured. He's at the vet right now, but we could book you in to meet him when he's back?"

"I'd - yeah - That'd be great. Thanks." He nods, a pale blush colouring his cheeks.

Better still, when he leaves the adoption centre with a beginners pet care brochure, flipping through the pages on the walk back home, he's met with a hastily scrawled phone number, and a little smiley face below it.

⋆˙⟡♡

[redroomreflections]

Gentle Hands Chapter Nine

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha suspects Reader is in an abusive relationship and tries to convince her to leave

9/10

W/c: 4.3k

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Warning: Domestic violence

Note: so close to the finish line

Mornings are anything but peaceful these days, a far cry from the calm you crave. You can’t help but question your decision to do this on your own. If anyone walked in right now, they’d probably wonder the same thing. Kaia, half-dressed and clinging to your leg, whines for attention as you try to focus on an important email about your financial aid, your heart racing with every word.

“Action required,” You read to yourself. With a smack of your lips, you pull Kaia into your arms, adjusting her on your hip, as you try not to let your frustration show. “Mama’s sorry, Kai. I know you want to hang out with me but we have a lot to do today.” You talk to her knowing it won’t help the cries coming from her. They’re dangerously close to your ear and you’re sure you’ll be hard of hearing by lunch. The smell of burnt toast mixed with the sound of Kaia’s wails filled the room as you fumbled with the stove, your phone slipping from your grasp and shattering on the kitchen floor. "Oh, fuck me." You sigh as you bend down to inspect the shattered screen. You could swear you heard the crunch of glass under your slipper, causing a shiver to run up your spine.

The toaster dings, startling both of you. You look up to the ceiling, mumbling something about a higher power as you try to compose yourself. You walk Kaia over to the highchair, placing her inside of it despite her hating the thing, and walk over to pick up the shattered pieces of glass. You hadn't even known such a thing could happen for a supposedly durable phone.

Kaia lets out a shriek and you're not sure how you don't go deaf. You look at her and she's staring back at you with big brown eyes, tears threatening to fall. A part of you feels bad that she has to sit and watch while you clean up and cook, but you need a few seconds to catch your bearings. You seem to be going a little too fast, as a shard of glass nicks you and you curse to yourself. You have to do so many things at once it's a little jarring. You quickly reach for the outlet and unplug the toaster. You turn off the stove, rejoicing in the fact that your scrambled eggs will only be a little dry. You rush over to the sink to rinse your bleeding hand. You can hear Kaia begin to whimper and you groan to yourself.

"Mama's coming, baby. Hold on." You call over to her. "I have to clean up this glass before I'm able to let you walk around."

Your chest is tight and you feel like a terrible mom, unable to provide comfort. Kaia voices her frustration with an even louder shriek. You sigh. What a mess.

"Miss, it seems your heart rate is elevated," JARVIS, Tony's omniscient AI thing reads aloud to you. "Do you request the services of Ms. Romanoff or Mr. Rogers?"

"What? No, no I don't," You speak into the air. It's the third time JARVIS has asked this week and it still takes you by surprise. He only listens to you half the time and this isn't one of them. You're unsure of the settings on this thing but you'd like to change them.

"As you wish, Miss. Please keep me informed if you need assistance."

You scoff and mumble, "You're not my therapist."

You hear a door shut and you know exactly who's behind you. You thought you told JARVIS not to ask her to come.

"JARVIS told me you need some help," Natasha says, her voice quiet and comforting.

You sigh, "I told him not to tell you."

"You know he's not really a good listener." She shrugs.

You don't say anything back to her.

"Why did you tell him not to tell me?" She asks.

"Because I can handle this myself."

"I know you can," Natasha says carefully. She assesses the situation with a quickness before starting out with the obvious. Kaia raises her arms to be held and Natasha obliges. "Are you sure you don't want help, though?"

You let out a long exhale.

"No. I'm just overwhelmed," You confess. "I have to get over to my school for orientation. All of the classes may be online but it's in person for whatever reason."

"Understandable. Do you need me to stay and help?"

You want to say no. You want to tell her you can do it all on your own. When you look over and see Kaia resting her head tiredly on Natasha's shoulder you know better. You've only been at the tower for a few months and you're already noticing the subtle differences in your baby. She's finding comfort in someone else. She trusts another adult to take care of her.

"I'd appreciate that," You nod, smiling lightly.

"It's no problem, Y/N."

You watch as Natasha places a kiss on Kaia's cheek and she smiles.

"Are you giving your Mama a hard time?" Natasha coos to the toddler. Kaia looks back at her with the biggest tears in her eyes and the cutest pout. "I'm sorry, baby. Let's give Mama a break, okay? She's going through a lot right now."

You're thankful for Natasha's presence, though you'd never admit it out loud.

With Kaia settled you can give yourself a few minutes. You need to find a bandage and a new shirt that isn't filled with baby tears and snot.

"Go," Natasha urges you softly. How was it she's always been able to read your mind?

With a silent nod, you rush off to your bedroom and into the ensuite bathroom. There are baby toys along the floor that you maneuver around. You kneel, reaching inside the cabinet for the first aid kit, before finding a small bandage. it's not a huge cut but it needs attention. As soon as you've put on the bandage, your phone begins to ring. It's the alarm reminding you to get a move on. Your heart races again and the room suddenly feels too small. You rip your shirt over your head and toss it onto the floor.

Being so messy isn't in your nature but lately, it's been a sort of power move. Keith hated it when you'd left anything on the floor. He'd berate you and nag about all of the things he disliked about the smallest things. You remember leaving your shoes in the hallway one night, just needing to rest your feet. When you woke the next morning, to see he'd thrown them in the trash you had been devastated. You had to wash them twice to get the smell of leftover tomato juice and onions out of it. You shake your head. You don't want to think about him.

The sound of Kaia babbling brought you back to reality. You had to get a grip. You sift through your dresser drawer to find a simple shirt. You chose a business casual striped button-up. You stood closer to the full-length mirror to get a look at the entire outfit together. You tried not to notice the weight gain. You're carrying a baby it's supposed to happen. You're supposed to be happy about the tiny swell of your belly. You are. That doesn't mean all of this doesn't still make you nervous. Another baby. This new life you have. You caress your belly, turning to the side to inspect yourself.

"You look great," Natasha’s voice cuts through the haze of your thoughts, grounding you before the negativity can take root. You hadn’t even noticed her slip into the room, her presence as subtle as ever.

You turn to meet her gaze, feeling exposed, not just because you're standing there in nothing but a bra and pants, but because of the way her eyes linger on you—steady, reassuring, and warm. A flicker of vulnerability passes through you, the thought of someone seeing you like this, both physically and emotionally, is unnerving. Yet, Natasha’s presence doesn’t add to your discomfort; instead, it’s oddly comforting.

“Sorry, it got quiet in here, and I wanted to check on you,” Natasha apologizes, her tone gentle, almost hesitant, as if she knows this moment holds more weight than a casual check-in.

“He’s growing,” you murmur, almost to yourself, placing a hand on your stomach. “I’ve noticed a bump.” The words hang in the air, a mix of awe and anxiety. There’s a new life inside you, and with it, a whole new world of responsibilities and uncertainties.

Natasha steps closer, her eyes never leaving you, her expression softening into something that feels like admiration. “You look wonderful,” she says, and the sincerity in her voice makes your chest tighten, a wave of emotion swelling within you. It’s been so long since someone has made you feel this seen, this accepted.

An impulse strikes you, and you’re surprised by your desire to share this moment. “Do you want to feel? I mean, it’s too early to start kicking…” you shrug, feeling a bit awkward, not entirely sure why you’re offering. But there’s a part of you that craves connection, that wants to share this journey, and in this moment, Natasha feels like the only person you can trust with it.

Natasha nods, her lips curving into a soft smile, her eyes alight with a childlike excitement that warms your heart. You find yourself smiling back, a lightness filling you as you gently place her hand on your stomach.

"I was smaller with Kaia," You muse aloud and her eyes travel to yours. "I didn't start to really show until the end of my second trimester. I guess this little person is eager."

"You're amazing," Natasha says and you blush. "I don't think I could ever do something like this."

You chuckle, "That's not true. Everyone's different."

"I was made for other purposes," She admits, her tone laced with a hint of sadness. She allows her hand to drop to her side.

"I'm sorry," You frown. "I didn't mean for this to-"

"No, it's okay." Natasha interrupts. She shakes her head, and when her eyes meet yours, the sadness is gone, replaced with a hint of humor. "Besides, I don't think I'd be any good at being a parent anyway."

"I don't think that's true," You reply. "Kaia loves you. I mean she's taken to you and you guys barely know each other."

"Kaia's a sweet girl."

Speaking of Kaia, you wonder why it's so quiet.

"I gave her a plushie to play with," Natasha answers. "I figured you'd want to eat breakfast with her."

"Yeah," You smile. "I'll just put this on." You raise the shirt in your hands and Natasha nods.

"I'll leave you to it. I'll make her a plate. Take your time."

You watch her leave the room and exhale, feeling your body relax. She's right. You do need to take a breather. You button the shirt with efficiency before heading back to the kitchen. Natasha has pulled Kaia's high chair to the breakfast table. She's also managed to cut up some fruit which the toddler is happily munching on.

She's already got your food on a plate, waiting for you. It's just a slice of toast with bacon and fruit, but you can't deny that your mouth waters at the sight.

"Thank you, Nat," You say again, feeling slightly guilty.

"No worries," Natasha smiles. "How did you make the eggs? I thought they triggered your morning sickness."

"While holding my breath." You joke. "Kaia likes them so I make them for her."

"You're a good mom." Natasha hums.

"Thank you," You reply. "It's not always easy."

"Mama," Kaia begins. "Up!" She holds her arms out, waiting for you to hold her.

"Hi, sweetheart. Thank you for being so patient with Mama." You say as you pull her out of the highchair and into your arms.

Kaia gives you a toothy grin, a piece of mango on her bottom lip.

"Oh, baby," You wipe the mess from her mouth and kiss her on the forehead. "I'm going to miss her while I'm at work."

"Steve or Darcy watching her?"

"Darcy," You answer. "They get along. I think she's the best choice."

"Darcy's a good one. Steve, too."

"I'm sure," You agree. "But I'll be right downstairs so it should be fine."

"Are you nervous about going back to work and school?" Natasha asks you.

"It's a bit scary. I know I'm doing the right thing, though."

"If it gets too much, you can always stop," Natasha says, her voice gentle, but the concern in her eyes is clear. "Or I can keep Kaia some days too."

"You guys are too nice to me," You say, a small uncertain smile tugging at your lips. "I know how busy all of you are. You're Avengers that can't be such a promising schedule."

"You're family, Y/N." Natasha insists. "It's no problem. And, as much as we love our jobs, we love her more."

“Thank you,” you murmur, looking down at Kaia, who’s now playing with a toy in your lap.

But even as the words leave your mouth, a pang of doubt tugs at your heart. You know you’re grateful, but a part of you struggles to accept that you’re worthy of all this kindness. They’re Avengers—heroes who save the world—and yet here they are, bending over backward to help you, someone who feels so… small in comparison.

You swallow the lump in your throat, forcing yourself to meet Natasha’s gaze. “Really, thank you. I just… sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve all this, you know? You all have so much to deal with already.”

“You do deserve it, Y/N. Don’t ever doubt that. We care about you, and we want to help.”

The sincerity in her voice wraps around you like a warm blanket, and though the doubts still linger, you allow yourself to accept her words, even if just for a moment.

************

*****************

Standing in the crowded financial aid office, waiting in line to plead your case, you can’t help but second-guess yourself, even though Stark has already given you a pay raise and bumped up your salary, your mind still convinces you that you won't be able to pay the bill. You're not used to such generosity, it's not something you're accustomed to, and it's difficult for you to grasp. It's even more difficult when the line moves slowly. There's a little less than ten minutes before you're called to the front and you can feel your palms begin to sweat.

"Hello, I'm y/n y/l/n, I'm here to fix a few things with my financial aid package," You inform the receptionist. "I received an email today about still owing."

The woman at the desk is young, probably fresh out of college herself, with a tired but kind look in her eyes. She gives you a sympathetic smile as she clicks around on her computer, searching for your information.

"Your file seems to have a mistake," The young lady explains. "Your scholarship isn't paying off for another semester, though it looks like your bill has been paid already."

"What? When?" You stretch to see her computer screen as she turns it around for you. "I was looking to do a payment plan but if it's gone."

"Someone has paid it in full. Do you have an idea of who could have done it?"

"No," You reply, baffled. Your mind immediately jumps to Natasha. It seems like something she would do, quietly taking care of things behind the scenes, always looking out for you in ways you never expect. But this feels different. Natasha isn’t one to step in without at least consulting with you first—respecting your independence, and knowing how much you’re trying to reclaim it. It doesn’t quite fit her style to make such a significant gesture without a conversation.

"Well, I'd consider it your lucky day," She smiles gently at you.

"Thank you," You mumble, still a little dazed.As you gather your thoughts, you wonder if it could have been Stark—he’s known for his grand gestures and might see this as a way to ease your burdens. But even that feels off. You can't shake the unease, the nagging feeling that someone has stepped in to help without asking, leaving you both grateful and unsettled.

"Is there anything else we can do for you today?"

"No. Thanks."

With that, you're sent on your way, thoughts swirling as you leave the office, the mystery of your benefactor lingering in the back of your mind.

*************

Your first day back at the office is nothing short of stressful. You feel incredibly out of place after not being at work for so long. There are two other receptionists for the front desk of Stark Tower and they've always had more experience than you. Now, however, it's the complete opposite.

You'd been in charge of the scheduling of everyone on the lower levels. It wasn't the most glamorous of jobs but it did help with the day-to-day.

"Ms. Y/L/N," A familiar voice calls. You look up and see your former supervisor.

"Hey, Miss Johnson. It's good to see you," You greet her.

"It's great to have you back."

"Thank you. I wasn't sure if I would come back or not."

"Well, I'm happy you decided to. How's your daughter?"

"She's growing. She's got a personality now."

Miss Johnson laughs. "I'm sure. Kids grow up so fast."

"They do," You agree.

"I've gotta get back to it," She says. "Feel free to stop by my office if you need anything."

"Thank you, I will." You say. That's about the only real interaction you get for the next forty minutes. People stop by only needing you to be directed to th other areas of the tower where the public is permitted. It's not bad, though. It's stable and easy. The first thing in your life you're able to do with ease you think. You'd just finished sending off a memo for one of the R&D developers when there's a clearing of a throat in front of you.

You look up and you smile.

Steve.

"Hi," You greet him. It's been a few days since you've seen your friend. He's been away on a mission in some random country.

"Hey, stranger," Steve grins. "It's good to see you."

"Good to be seen," You tease.

"So, this is your new spot, huh?"

"Yup," You say. "Just a few feet away from my old one." You joke.

"How's it been?"

"Easy," You tell him. "People are nice."

"Well, that's a given," Steve points out. "How is Kaia?"

"She's good," You smile, your heart swelling with pride. "She's with Darcy for the day. It's taken everything in me not to check on her."

"That's understandable," Steve chuckles. "She's a sweetheart. Have you eaten lunch yet?" He offers.

"I have," You raise a container filled with leftover pasta. "Though I could use a couple minutes to stretch my legs."

"Then let's go," Steve smiles.

"That's probably a good idea."

Steve waits for you to grab your jacket and you both head for the top-secret entrance and exit. There's probably a fancy name for it but that's what you call it. It's a given the Avengers would need their own space like this considering how much the public is usually crowded around the main doors.

"So, how was your mission?" You ask as you're riding the elevator down.

"Successful," Steve answers. "We had a lead and it was a solid one. It was just a matter of getting there in time."

"I hope that's good then," You nod.

"It is," Steve reassures. "Things are calming down."

"Good," You say, relieved.

The elevator reaches the ground floor and you follow Steve outside.

"How's the uh, the baby," Steve asks awkwardly.

You chuckle, "It's not contagious, Steve."

"No, I know," Steve sighs, blushing a little. "I just wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable talking about it or not."

"It's fine," You shrug. "The baby is fine. I think."

"Think?" Steve looks over at you, his expression concerned.

"No, not like that," You laugh. "From what I know the baby is fine and developing as he should be."

"That's good," Steve exhales. "I'm glad."

"You're not the only one," You walk so close you bump shoulders with him. "You're a good guy, Steve."

"I'm just me," Steve shrugs.

"And you're a great friend."

"I'd like to think I'm a good one," He admits.

"When are you going to settle down and marry or something?"

"Or something?" Steve laughs. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know, maybe find a girlfriend."

"I don't think it's for me," Steve shakes his head. You remember the story he told you about Peggy, the love of his life from a time long gone. It wasn’t just any love story—it was the kind of deep, unyielding bond that seemed to transcend time itself. Steve had spoken about her with a quiet reverence, his voice filled with both warmth and lingering sorrow. Peggy was the one who got away, the one he could never forget, and in a way, it felt like no one else could ever compare. For Steve, moving on wasn’t as simple as finding someone new. His heart had been spoken for long ago, and even though he’d found his way into a new world, that part of him remained in the past, with her.

And maybe, you think, that’s why he’s content to just be a good friend, the steadfast, loyal companion—because he’s already given the best parts of himself to someone he can never truly be with.

"What about you?" Steve asks. "Do you think you'll ever love again? You know after Keith."

"I don't think I'm ready," You admit.

"No?"

"I'm not," You frown. "My heart doesn't want to try. There's nothing left."

"I understand," Steve nods.

"It's hard to think about you know," You stop walking to gather your thoughts. "I was with him since I was eighteen years old. The past six years have been so interesting. I was in an abusive relationship that took everything from me. How am I supposed to trust someone else after that?"

"It'll take time," Steve offers.

"I wish it was easier," You admit. "I wish I could turn off that part of myself that cares."

"Yeah," Steve agrees. "Sometimes it's hard."

"But if I were to ever start dating I know what I want," You say with such conviction it has Steve raising a brow.

"Oh, really? And what's that?"

"To be treated like a queen," You joke.

"Well, anyone would be a fool not to treat you that way."

"I'm glad you think so," You nod. "In all seriousness, I want someone kind. Honest. Not only with me but with themselves. Someone who isn't fond of knocking me around is a good deal too. It's all bare minimum."

"That's not the bare minimum, Y/N," Steve's brows furrow together, a slight frown on his face. "You deserve the world. All the best things."

"Yeah," You scoff, your heart heavy with the knowledge that you haven't received such things before.

"And you deserve the truth," Steve says, his voice softening.

"What truth?"

"That you are worthy of love," Steve continues. "You deserve the best things because you are the best things."

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to propose to me yourself," You joke, trying to lighten the mood, but the words feel hollow, even to you. The compliment hangs in the air, heavy and uncomfortable, wrapping around you like an ill-fitting coat.

It’s not that you don’t appreciate Steve’s kindness—it’s just that you’ve never been one to accept compliments easily, especially not ones that cut this close to the bone. The idea that you could be deserving of love, of the best things in life, feels so foreign, so out of reach. The wounds from your past still linger, making it hard to believe anything good about yourself, let alone something so profound. Steve’s words, however well-intentioned, only serve to highlight how far you feel from the person he’s describing.

You shift uncomfortably, forcing a smile, but inside, a small part of you recoils, unsure how to reconcile the person you see in the mirror with the one Steve sees standing before him. It’s going to take time—more time than you want to admit—before you can even begin to believe any of it.

"Come on," Steve nudges your shoulder, offering you a warm smile. "Let's get you back to the tower."

You give him a grateful nod and walk beside him in silence, the weight of his words still heavy on your mind.

"Have a good rest of the day, Y/N," Steve says as he drops you off. You stand on your tiptoes, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to hug him. Truly hug him.

As you hold him close, a warmth spreads through you, a comfort you haven’t felt in a long time. It’s not just the embrace—the realization that you have people in your corner, friends who genuinely care. For so long, you’ve been used to fighting your battles alone, to keeping your guard up, always expecting the worst. But here, in this simple hug, you feel the weight of that loneliness lift, if only a little.

It feels like you’re finally starting to understand what it means to have a support system and people who stand by you, not out of obligation but out of genuine care. It’s a feeling you’re still getting used to, but it also fills you with a quiet sense of gratitude. For the first time in a long time, you feel like you’re not just surviving—you’re being seen, valued, and cared for. And that, more than anything, makes you feel like you’re truly healing.

---> next part

[triassictriserratops]

Since Peeta is Bi (in fanon for most people) how do you think people react to it, like I assume especially since Panem isn't really a accepting place that there would definitely be some false rumours, but what I personally think would be a popular rumour would be calling Peeta promiscuous (I think thats the word? Idk I'm dumb) mainly because I see that as a popular thought that Bi people can't be monogamous or faithful, just because they like both means they can't stay with one person, which is a weird idea. Tbh idk where I'm going with this ask I kinda just wanted to share my idea of Peeta being labelled as unfaithful for his bisexuality and him just gasping like how dare they assume that

Hokay, so, everything I'm about to say is just my opinions/theories since there isn't really enough information in the text to have a definitive answer. I'd definitely LOVE to hear other people's thoughts on this, tho! As for how queer identity is likely accepted in Panem - I think it depends on what side of the divide you live on.

THE CAPITOL

i think that The Capitol is likely pretty queer friendly. So much of the "fashion" and "artistry" of the Capitol is so reminiscent of 1950s ball culture that it's difficult not to see some sort of cultural inspiration.

I think that likely an aspect of the "panem et circenses" we see at play in the Capitol would hinge on excessive freedoms of expression. You have the freedom (obligation) to be anything and everything you want. You have to spend to excess, have sex to excess, follow fashion trends to excess - otherwise are you any more elite than any of the barbarians in the districts? (This level of pressure and expectation is what I think leads us to the credit/debtors prisons/avox pipeline that is hinted at in the books) If the above is true then I could very much see the Capitol encouraging the exploration of sex and sexuality - maybe even more as a "trend" or a fetishization of sexuality than natural identity

THE DISTRICTS

I believe that the districts are subjected to the levels of forced breeding that we see in the underserved communities in the United States today. It is to the Capitol's benefit to keep the masses poor, hungry, and constantly supplying new generations of children to act as a continuation of the entertainment fodder and the work force. Ergo, little to no medical facilities, little to no access to birth control, little to no sex ed, and little to no social services or resources. This leads me to believe that the Capitol would likely force restrictions on same sex couples. I don't think it would be outright banning or criminalization - but I do see them passing ordinances that same sex married couples do not receive government assigned housing. (Especially under the pretense of the houses being meant for "family and child stability" or some nonsense. Something that would, on it's face, look good to the average Capitolite. "Look how wonderful we are to them! We provide homes so people can build families!" I could also see them say that same sex couples aren't allowed to adopt children as that can be a potential "abuse of the tessera system". This would be spun as "preventing children from being taken advantage of for extra food portions." So, basically, it would be an undue hardship to be a queer person within the districts of Panem. Going further down the hole, i think it would be a HUGE no-no within the Merchant (or equivalent in other districts) classes. Life in the districts as a Merchant is heavily reliant on succession. These business have existed for generations and are passed down within the family. The merchants also maintain ownership by, as much as possible, marrying within other businesses versus marrying into the Seam.

A young, queer adult in the Merchant class would likely be as heavily ostracized as Katniss' mother was for marrying into the Seam.

DISTRICT 13

I theorize that, especially after the illness that wiped out a majority of the population - especially the children - of District 13, that this District is likely the HARSHEST on same sex attraction.

I definitely see this district as having heavy restrictions on sex in order to control and prioritize insemination and fertilization. Hence why someone like Dalton was given the field of work that he was given, coming from the cattle farms of District 10. As for the second part of your ask, Peeta Mellark Everdeen would LAUGH at anyone who would dare suggest he would cheat on his wife. He's been married since he was 5, thank you very much.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

did nie mingjue give jin guangyao a 'new life' after his mother's death?

okay i'm not trying to call out one post specifically or anything but this is definitely not the first post on this site to call jin guangyao the cruelest character in MDZS, and that is such a reach, especially when both xue yang and jin guangshan are, you know, right there. but i also want to dig into one of the points raised about jin guangyao and nie mingjue's relationship, and what they owe to each other, because i could not disagree with the principle assertion more.

so, did jin guangyao "[kill] the man who gave him a new life after his mother died"?

I assume we are discussing nie mingjue here and not jin guangshan lmfao.

okay, let's for the sake of argument assume your assertion that jin guangyao owes nie mingjue a life debt is correct. to be clear: I don't think it is. i do not think that meng yao owes nie mingjue a life debt when he comes into his service, nor do I think that he accrues one after receiving his courtesy name and title of lianfang-zun. but let's just pretend anyway.

JGY LIFE DEBTS OWED TO NMJ (STARTING TALLY): 1 - because nie mingjue gave him a job NMJ LIFE DEBTS OWED TO JGY (STARTING TALLY): 0 - how nice for him

I also want to emphasize that nie mingjue's attempt to help creates additional hardship for meng yao that he likely wouldn't have experienced if nie mingjue had stopped to ask him what he wanted before deciding he knew best. recall that he did not offer meng yao a promotion after overhearing his cultivators mocking his low birth: he just gave it to him, without considering how this promotion might (and in fact did) cause the bullying and harassment meng yao received from the nie sect cultivators to escalate. please also remember that meng yao does not ask mingjue for a letter of recommendation to take to jin guangshan to seek his recognition--he does not even want to leave! in fact he is explicitly telling lan xichen in that moment before nie mingjue interrupts their conversation that he feels obligated to remain with nie mingjue! it is nie mingjue who decides to send him off to jin guangshan with a letter of recommendation, and while meng yao expresses his immense gratitude for this gesture in the moment, it is so important to emphasize that he not only did not ask for this, but he was not asked if he wanted it, either. even then, the letter of recommendation that nie mingjue sends along with meng yao when he opts to release him from his service does not open any doors for meng yao at all. in fact, jin guangshan seems to use this as the perfect opportunity to eliminate another inconvenient bastard son during war time, and assigns meng yao--a weak and self-taught cultivator--to the front lines under a captain who not only beats and abuses him, but also forces him to come up with military strategies for the jin sect's successes, which he then takes the credit for when reporting to jin guangshan. if meng yao had not killed this captain, it's likely he would have died on the langye front during the sunshot campaign. meng yao gives himself a new life as jin guangyao and lianfang-zun because he is the one who kills wen ruohan during the battle for nightless city, and he does this entirely on his own (making use of deceit and trickery that nie mingjue finds dishonourable, in fact).

but anyway. after presumably giving meng yao this 'new life' in the form of the impromptu field promotion that meng yao did not ask for, meng yao repays his, um, debt (is that what we owe our employers when we are already providing them our labour?) to nie mingjue in full (??? only in full? he isn't, you know, maybe owed some change?) when he saves nie mingjue's life from wen ruohan at the battle of nightless city. and to save myself a lot of stress and frustration, let's all just collectively agree that, while the life-debt ratio of "giving someone a job" vs "risking your life to save else's" is absolutely not 1:1 in the real world, we're just. assuming it is, for the sake of this argument. the salient point is jin guangyao's ledger is now clear. he's back in the black, as it were.

JGY LIFE DEBTS OWED TO NMJ (UPDATED TALLY): 0 - he saved the life of the guy who gave him a job NMJ LIFE DEBTS OWED TO JGY (UPDATED TALLY): 0 - and the guy who gave jgy the job does not owe him anything in return for having his life saved, since jobs and lives are interchangeable and of equal value apparently

that's it, y'all, they're square.

except nie mingjue then explicitly attempts to murder meng yao/jin guangyao three times before jin guangyao even begins to play the song of spirit turmoil for him. which means we need a new scoreboard for keeping track of the mutual-murder attempts that define the rest of their relationship, beginning immediately post-sunshot campaign. here's where the mutual-murder attempt tally stands:

JGY'S ATTEMPTS TO MURDER NMJ (STARTING TALLY): 0 - he did literally the opposite of attempting to murder nie mingjue NMJ'S ATTEMPTS TO MURDER JGY (STARTING TALLY): 1 - nie mingjue tries to kill meng yao (who is not fighting back!!) with baxia, prior to being stopped by lan xichen (chapter 49)

that's explicit attempt #1! but if we believe that part of lan xichen's intent with all three of them swearing brotherhood to each other was to, in essence, provide jin guangyao and nie mingjue a clean slate upon which to rebuild trust in their relationship, then let's go ahead and reset that scoreboard. even though that is not how reconciliation between human beings actually works, particularly not when mutually-inflicted trauma is at work, but. whatever.

JGY'S ATTEMPTS TO MURDER NMJ (UPDATED TALLY): 0 - by the power vested in zewu-jun as the first jade of lan, apparently NMJ'S ATTEMPTS TO MURDER JGY (UPDATED TALLY): 0 - zewu-jun now pronounces u both even stevens, you may put baxia down. ..put it down, mingjue.

nie mingjue does not put baxia down, figuratively or literally. explicit attempt to murder jin guangyao #2 happens after they have sworn their binding oath of brotherhood to each other, and is the infamous "what else should I expect from the son of a prostitute" confrontation at the top of the jinlintai tower steps. nie mingjue literally kicks jin guangyao down 50 solid stone steps, which could easily have broken his neck or spine (or both). please note that this was an unprovoked act of violence against a much, much weaker cultivator whose only offence[1] against nie mingjue--arguably the strongest cultivator and martial artist of his generation--at this point was… saying words nie mingjue didn't like, and not killing xue yang when nie mingjue told him to. time to update the scoreboard again!

JGY'S ATTEMPTS TO MURDER NMJ (UPDATED TALLY): 0 - no, jin guangyao has not begun playing the song of spirit turmoil for nie mingjue yet! (chapter 104) [2] NMJ'S ATTEMPTS TO MURDER JGY (UPDATED TALLY): 1 - kicks nmj down the jinlintai steps, which, yes, is attempted murder (chapter 49)

which brings us to explicit murder attempt #3, which happens immediately after nie mingjue kicking him down the stairs. while jin guangyao is still recovering and picking himself up off the ground (in other words, not retaliating in any way or provoking further violence) nie mingjue unsheathes baxia to finish the job, and would absolutely have done so if lan xichen had not, yet again, intervened to protect jin guangyao. you know what time it is now.

JGY'S ATTEMPTS TO MURDER NMJ (UPDATED TALLY): 0 - nope, still has not begun playing the song of spirit turmoil between getting punted down the stairs and standing back up again NMJ'S ATTEMPTS TO MURDER JGY (UPDATED TALLY): 2 - yes, this is a second attempt at actual murder, I am not going to argue about this with anyone

all of this happens /gestures @ literally all of that, while jin guangyao is continuously traveling back and forth between jinlintai and qinghe to play the unaltered version of cleansing to help stabilize nie mingjue's qi. we know this because lan xichen explicitly tells us this in chapter 49, and nie mingjue agrees with him. we also know that this unaltered version of cleansing is having a positive impact on nie mingjue's spirit and his relationship with jin guangyao, because wei wuxian remarks on this while experiencing nie mingjue's memories in empathy. to be very clear: before jin guangyao has played the song of spirit turmoil for nie mingjue even one time, nie mingjue has already tried to kill jin guangyao three times. he is actively attempting to murder jin guangyao while jin guangyao is actively working together with lan xichen to repair their relationship and forestall nie mingjue's inevitable death by qi deviation. and we can go around in circles all day about whether jin guangyao ultimately kills nie mingjue solely because he is defending himself against a man who will not stop trying to kill him, or whether he's doing this because daddy said jump, or if it is a bit of both--I fall into the "it is always a bit of both" camp with jin guangyao--but that is actually beside the point.

the point: if we are keeping score about who has attempted to murder whom (and how frequently) by the time nmj ultimately kicks it, the final tally is nie mingjue 3 - jin guangyao 1. if we include his attempt to kill jin guangyao at the point of his qi deviation, the final tally becomes nie mingjue 4 - jin guangyao 1. so, even if i didn't disagree with the principle assertion made here, i would argue that jin guangyao not only squared that debt to nie mingjue years ago by saving him from wen ruohan, nie mingjue in fact now owes a life debt to jin guangyao for all the attempts to kill the guy who literally saved his life.

tl;dr these are the actions of a man who gave his subordinate a lot of trauma and anxiety, but not a new life.

[1] I am shelving any discussion of what meng yao does or doesn't owe nie mingjue within the context of his time spent undercover in wen ruohan's court because I feel there is nuance enough in that situation to justify its own post. meng yao and nie mingjue both deeply, irreparably traumatized each other in that situation and should never have been let within 6 li of each other ever again after the end of the war, much less pressured to swear brotherhood to each other. (grips lan xichen's shoulders, stares deeply into his beautiful eyes: wtf were you thinking, er-ge)

[2] even if I were to agree that he obtained the song of spirit turmoil in advance of the stairs incident and had already begun playing the song for nie mingjue (which I do not), it is clear that mingjue is improving, pre-stairs. this implies that jin guangyao, while he may have prepared a contingency plan, has not been putting any spiritual power into the portion of cleansing that contains the altered bars of the music. we know that he is capable of altering which parts of the song receive spiritual power because both wei wuxian and lan xichen confirm that this is possible in their (emotionally fraught, for poor xichen) conversation inside the cloud recesses library pavilion after the torn page is discovered. this, combined with the two to three month time frame that the altered song requires to trigger mingjue's qi deviation, plus the two month time frame that jin guangyao presents disingenuously to nie mingjue regarding xue yang, are clear textual evidence in support of my position. the music changes after the stairs.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

https://www.tumblr.com/fromtenthousandfeet/754230657283162113/a-few-days-ago-i-saw-a-post-on-x-from-a-kpjm-that?source=share

I'm confused why would they wanna punish the fans, the cash cows for their future payola album? (I'm just curious to hear about ur thoughts more since I love to read ur blog lot)

Thanks for the ask. It's a good question. Why punish fans?!?

I've probably said this too many times, but I'll say it once more. I think Bang PD can't stand the idea of anyone under a HYBE label being successful without his direct influence. Threatening to put NewJeans on an 18+ month hiatus when they're doing so well is such a red flag. And while HYBE probably can't afford not to release Jimin's music and content (or they are contractually obligated to), they can gatekeep the heck out it by not giving him playlisting, not servicing his music to radio, only promoting his new album on Instagram, not providing pre-save or pre-purchase options. The company accepts that Jimin has a loyal fan base, but the goal is not to grow it.

Think about the extraordinary amount of money Jimin's fans spend on his birthday events/promotions. Can't you see BSH seething at the sight of all that money spent to support Jimin that could have been spent on BTS merchandise? And the fact that no other member - even his precious chosen one - gets that kind of love and loyalty reflects badly on the group. Jimin is a brand unto himself. That's only a boon for the company as long they can control his popularity and make money off of it. At the end of the day, I think BSH resents Jimin's huge appeal and popularity. He, so far, hasn't been able to recreate that love and loyalty for other BTS members or TXT, his other brainchild.

So, BangPD punishes Jimin's fans by gatekeeping Jimin's projects and Jimin himself. Has anyone else had the nagging sense over the last year that maybe Jimin's access to fans is being intentionally thwarted? Why wasn't he given more opportunities to perform live? Why was CTT released when he was already in the military even though the song was records long before? And can we talk about how the company completely ignores fans' requests for better promotion, more CDs, and radio play? That's another form of punishment.

Your question is, how can the company afford to anger and alienate Jimin's fans when they are going to need their purchasing power when the group returns in 2025? Two things.

HYBE can't lose. If they treat Jimin like crap (as they have so far), the fans get their "revenge" by raising and spending even more money on album sales and streams. The right response to his mistreatment should be a complete boycott of all Jimin and BTS merchandise, but nobody wants to hurt Jimin, so it'll never happen. While making Jimin's music rank high on Spotify and Billboard charts may feel like revenge against the company, I promise you it is not, because the company is laughing all the way to the bank as fans mass buy and mass stream.

Chapter 2 has proved that a large portion of ARMY do not care at all about the music and are in it for the parasocial aspect of fanning. Look at V's photo book announced this week. Selling out on the first day, multiple printings, and for what? Photos of his feet? Madness. $100 for BTS Minions Funko Pops? What?!? I keep thinking maybe fans will realize how they're being used as an endless cash stream, but so far no.

Ultimately, none of us know what the heck is going on in BSH's head or within the company, so your guess is as good or better than mine. I leave you with this interview from Billboard Magazine, which has some little gems that I think explain a lot. Let's talk about it soon.

[fans4wga]

Hi, thanks for all the information you've already provided :)

I don't know if that was said before, but is it possible for a writer or actor to be in more than one union, from different countries like UK and US for example, if they work for both industries?

If that's the case, how would that work for them? Would they be able to only work for and promote UK based movies/TV series? Or not at all? Or would it depend on which streaming service (or other) is involved? For example, working for BBC is fine, but not Amazon.uk? Or is it fine too?

And if that's not the case, what about UK actors/writers who became well known in the US and started working there. If they're in neither WGA or SAG AFTRA, I'm guessing they're under no obligation to respect the picket lines, aren't they? (Even if they probably will do out of respect and solidarity.)

This is a confusing issue so thank you for bringing it up! Just to clear up the names and terms, SAG-AFTRA is the American film/TV actors' union and British Actors' Equity is the UK actors' union.

(Note: I'm aware Deadline, Variety, and The Hollywood Reporter are often biased towards the studios. However, I don't have better sources on these things yet. Hopefully SAG-AFTRA or Equity says more about it to clear things up in the future.)

To make things a tad more confusing, American stageplay/theater is under the Actors' Equity Association. SAG-AFTRA people, who often hold dual membership with the Actors' Equity Union, can still do American theater since that's under the Actors' Equity Association jurisdiction and not SAG-AFTRA's. There's an article about it here.

Think of the system like this: SAG-AFTRA has jurisdiction over American productions (Hollywood) and the British Actors' Equity has jurisdiction in the UK (like productions from the BBC). Some SAG-AFTRA people are working on British shows, but they will be under an Equity contract and likely have Equity membership too. Similarly some Equity people are working on SAG-AFTRA shows under a SAG-AFTRA contract and will then gain SAG-AFTRA membership.

That's led to some loopholes during the strike. American SAG-AFTRA members under Equity contracts, like the casts of House of the Dragon and Industry, are continuing to work during the strike because their contracts are with Equity, not SAG-AFTRA. (Link) It's not a SAG-AFTRA contract so the arguments could be made that it doesn't violate strike rules. It's unfortunate, of course, but it's not the actors' fault, it's the local laws. Hopefully SAG-AFTRA clears up in the future if they view this as strikebreaking or not.

Anyone who provides acting or promotion services to a struck company right now will be blacklisted from joining SAG-AFTRA or the WGA in the future. Because Hollywood productions by definition are under the SAG-AFTRA and the WGA's jurisdiction, that means never working in Hollywood. So people looking to join the industry in the future should definitely take it seriously, and if there's any doubt about whether or not something constitutes strikebreaking, contact SAG-AFTRA or the WGA through their websites!

It's still early days for the SAG-AFTRA strike so we could see more information and guidelines published in the future for further clarification. But hopefully this starts to answer your question!

[freakin-edikan]

Help Dusty Get out of Florida Fund

Hello. I'm Dusty. I moved back home with my parents after school because I couldn't afford to stay in NYC and they refused to help pay for me to stay up there while I was looking for work. My parents stress me out, it sucks and I hate it here. I'm trying to move back to NYC where 1) most of my friends are and 2) I can visit my brother more easily if I need help with something. I take commissions if you want me to draw something (please ignore the music commissions, I don't think I can do those right now) and I think my prices are pretty low. Links below, sob story under the cut

vnmo: @freakin-edikan cshapp: $freakinedikan Paypal me Commission post

My goal is $3300. 0/3300

My parents piss me the hell off and I want to leave. They say they're not stopping me from doing anything but there are so many "soft" restrictions it's basically total control. I can't leave the house because the county's transit sucks shit, I don't have a house key, and I don't have a license (and even if I did, I wouldn't have a car). I have no mental health provider so I've been rationing out my ADHD meds. But even if I did, I'd have no way to get there because I don't have a car. My dad was supposed to get me a bike with a lock but he didn't. He wants to teach me to drive but he's 1) never home bc he works (obviously? how would that work) and 2) when he tried to teach me in 2019 he wasn't helpful at all and was always yelling or almost yelling at me. But he also doesn't want me to get lessons from an outside agency. I keep getting pushed to take some retail or food service job which I know will burn me out so much I'll barely be able to focus on anything else. And I wouldn't be able to get there because I have no transportation. And because I don't clean the whole house or cook every meal I'm seen as "neglecting aspects of life." Meanwhile dad will eat up all the food and not buy groceries or he'll ask me to buy groceries. Even though I don't have an income or a car or a license. Also my dad got mad at me and did this to my door on Friday

and has the audacity to eat the food I bought for me and my friends with my own money. For my birthday. He's been eating my birthday food. Also the door no longer closes.

I am tired of having to play nice around my dad's volatile anger, which I've put up with since I was in elementary school. My parents paid for me to do a lot of things, which I appreciate. However, they also have repeatedly called me names, they interact with my hobbies with thinly-veiled contempt, they play passive aggressive when they're mad at me in front of guests, and they used to hit me all throughout K-12. They constantly frame their obligations to me as purely financial, they think they have no responsibility to be emotionally supportive or uplifting, but they also want me to baby their feelings and lie about how they treated me while accusing me of making up my mental issues for attention and sympathy. My dad keeps talking about how old and frail he is and how he could die any minute now and where I'm at is that I do not care and if/when he dies I will not be there. I'm literally sick of this behavior and they acted like this in 2019 when they were supposed to be taking care of me after I was hospitalized for attempting suicide. I'm still not over that and yet they're annoyed at me for being disorganized/scatterbrained, stressed out, and depressed.

[racefortheironthrone]

Hey Steven,

I was reading your ACOK Cat 2 essay, and it got me thinking. You mentioned how the Redwynes don't have any men with Renly's army cause Hobber and Horas are "guests" of the king, so I'm curious: if a House isn't able to fulfill their obligations and send men to their liege lord during a war cause the enemy is holding members of that House hostage, would they be punished for it, or would the liege lord basically go, "yeah fair," and overlook it?

As I've written about, the process of getting a vassal to fulfill their feudal obligation to provide military service was always one that involved political negotiation between liege lord and vassal.

So while the Tyrells probably wouldn't be thrilled about the Redwynes holdng back their forces because the heirs to the House are being held captive, it would be seen as an understandable motive - noblemen get taken captive in wars all the time, the custom of hostage-taking is an accepted and legitimate part of feudal politics, and only a madlad (or lassie) would ignore the threat and fight anyway.

Given their political skill, I would expect an overlord like the Tyrells to respond by paying the ransom for Horas and Hobber in order to not only free up the Redwyne forces but also place the Redwynes under a heavy debt/obligation to their liege lord, thus ensuring their loyalty for some time to come.

[millerflintstone]

So much of my career in software development was under high stress. There was always the background stress I put on myself for taking care of my mom and sister financially. Then there were the jobs themselves. Looking back on what I've done and where I've worked, my two most enjoyable jobs were based in Michigan - my first job in Ann Arbor and then my 2013 based in Flint. The first one ended because we moved to GA. The second one ended because that company was acquired by another and they did not renew contractors, which is what I was.

I'm thinking about this because I sent off code samples to yesterday's interviewer. I sent 3 and they were all recent-ish (2016- 2021). One was Java related, which was from the 2016 crazy project I agreed to do because i was wanting to get out of database crap. I wrote a ridiculous amount of code and set the web front end up and I honestly cannot remember how I did that, but I did it.

The other two were from the TX job that sold off their IT department to services provider company. One was C# script related to a project that was squeezed in and had ridiculous timelines. The other was for the project I was assigned when I was hired on. That was UNIX/SQL. That project I also stressed about because I just really hated having gotten stuck in database land again. I also ended up needing a hysterectomy and worked my surgery date around the deadlines. Only had two weeks off, too.

After I got the samples together and emailed them out, I had SUCH a headache. When I had prepped last week for this same interview, I was wiped out because of having gone over my resume to have talking points. Last night I had a really hard time falling asleep and just felt on edge and I think it was due to going over that code and my body remembering the stress it was in as it was being written.

I've said this before - apparently work related PTSD is a thing. think I might have PTSD related to these past jobs. There's a combination of feeling both awed and unhappy while thinking, "holy shit how did I do all of that in a short period of time?" Just thinking about it now is exhausting and unsettling. I'm actually involuntarily crying right now as I'm writing this.

Maybe if my mom and/or sister were still alive, I'd still be pushing down my feelings and working at the same pace due to my own feelings of obligation. I really think that because they're both gone and I don't have that worry, my brain recognized I don't have to do this anymore.

Now as for the job that I'm interviewing for, it seems different. For all tech hires at this place, they go through a month of training. They don't expect people to jump in at the deep end and swim.

The tech reminds me of the excitement I felt when I was learning programming. I loved all of the programming courses I took to see if I even liked it. I didn't expect to love it. Then working in healthcare sucked that joy right out of me eventually.

I have no idea how I'll do for the next round of interviews. My gut tells me I won't be advancing and honestly, that's fine. While I would love to learn something new and feel that joy again with this place, I would also be fine just doing something kinda mindless that pays halfway decent and doesn't stress me out to where I feel like I'm feeling now from just thinking about the stress that I've felt in the past.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Do you ever feel under appreciated or like your time is taken for granted with anons? Sometimes it seems like people treat you more like an admin than a person with a writing blog. This last anon is a good example, although it’s unfortunate that some of Ewan’s filmography is not available in some countries it’s really not that hard to look at Ewan’s wiki page to see the characters and look them up instead of getting upset you didn’t spoon feed them. Part of me hopes that these demanding kinds of people are teenagers and not grown women. It’s like because you are the largest Ewan blog they think it’s your obligation to fill them in about every single thing and not lift a finger to try do it themselves.

I wouldn't say under appreciated or taken for granted, because I never created this blog with the intention of providing a service to anyone. I don't really have any goals/aims for this blog beyond sharing my writing and appreciation for the actor that inspires it, and to be supportive of others whose writing and art I enjoy.

Little bit of a rant coming under the cut. I don't know how coherent this will be lol I am in rather a sorry state due to weekend shenanigans.

It annoys me when people use their perception of me being a "big blog" as a means to dehumanise me. Acting entitled towards me, treating me as though I should behave a certain way, and set an example for others, because they have an idea in their head of what my follower count is. I have never made this figure public, I never will. I've never even done a follower celebration. Numbers don't mean anything to me, because I'm not here for a popularity contest. I don't even look at the note number on my fics anymore.

I don't view myself as a fandom leader or anything like that - I firmly believe that if you enter a fandom and there are blogs posing as such then you should turn tail and run - it will be toxic as fuck.

People ask me questions and I answer them. I write stories and people read them and enjoy them, or they don't. I read other people's work and reblog what I enjoy. It's not any deeper than that for me.

I'm tired of the ceaseless fandom drama, the anons being sent to and about me regarding a situation that was over nearly eight months ago. I want no part of it. I've owned up to my involvement, and I have moved on. I don't bear any ill will towards anyone in fandom, I simply want to exist in my own space.

I recently left every group chat that I was part of on Discord, as a means to distance myself from others and not be involved in any further gossip or accusations of "cliques". But the truth is, if people are determined to hate you then they'll find any means to do so no matter what you do.

I am tired of the endless grabs for popularity, the "me first" attitudes, the obsession with numbers, the "you talk to this person, so I won't talk to you" ideology. I am sick of how cruel and unsupportive and petty and spiteful people can be. The persistent bad faith takes are exhausting. People exist in this space with the view that everyone is out to get them, that the most innocent of actions are done with the intent to slight them. I would rather be a lonely, little island than endure that.

But I am done adjusting myself for the comfort of others. I will continue to exist in this space, I will continue to write, to support others and answer the asks I receive. Anyone that has an issue with that is not my concern. I will continue to block and ignore hateful and rude anons, and whatever people choose to say about me behind my back is not my business.

Apologies for the slight tangent there. TL;DR: it annoys me when people dehumanise me and treat me as though I am a faceless online presence rather than an actual human being, but I am trying my best to detach from it and carry on as normal.

[dreamcatcher-roulette]

I've had your post up in a separate tab for ages, but life 😮‍💨😅

Just wanted to say I appreciate the in-depth response about RAID (and cosmic rays!) and especially the S.M.A.R.T. article - it'll come in handy as I'm quite complacent 😅 about my personal backups (I think my music files have the most "redundancy" via iPods 🤡)

*I dunno if you'll find it interesting, but the OP's schadenfreude in this Reddit post was amusing to me, at least 😅

https://www.reddit.com/r/Netsuite/s/Bxu6bFnrkS

But tbh, even for the outage referenced, 🤡 I would've been more angsty about the potential hours! of productivity lost (i.e. bc users getting anxious about deadlines, etc.) rather than the potential that our data pre-incident would be corrupted or lost.

Anyways, in any case! Thank you for sharing your tangents! I hope you're doing well!

Ahh what a great honour to be a long standing open tab. Funnily enough I started drafting this yesterday and got distracted from it as well. My original response to how I’m doing was going to be “semi patiently waiting for the Dreamcatcher comeback announcement” but since then we got Fromm messages saying probably not until at least June (noooooo) and now I'm also neck deep in ACC, much to my dismay. I have nothing intelligent to say about batteries, they’re complete mysteries to me as well, but they sure do exist. Unfortunately.

Anyway! I do have things to say about backups. Below the cut 😉

The thing about backups is that you can definitely get way deeper than you need to, I think it’s mostly important to be aware and comfortable with your level of risk. The majority of people don’t hold too much irreplaceable data on their personal computers, and the data that does come under that category often fits within free or cheap tiers of cloud backup providers. Before I had my current setup I used to take a less structured approach to backups. I sorted my data into three categories:

Replaceable, which encompasses things like applications and games which can be re-downloaded from the internet (and, if the original download source were no longer available, this would not be a huge deal);

Irreplaceable but not catastrophic, which encompasses things like game saves, half finished software projects, screenshots I've taken etc; and

Irreplaceable and catastrophic, which encompasses things like legal documents but also select few items from category 2 I'm just very personally attached to.

Category 1 items I had on a single hard drive, category 2 items I copied over selectively to a second every now and then when I got struck with a particularly large wave of paranoia, and category 3 items I did the same but with the additional step of scattering them through various cloud providers as well. Now that I have an actual redundant drive setup in a server I have Kopia running on my personal computer to periodically back up everything that isn’t on my SSD, but I still rely on those external cloud providers for offsite backups.

It’s important to note my setup is ultimately designed with hardware reliability engineering in mind but those aren’t the only factors at play when thinking about backups, especially for enterprises. That Reddit thread is hilarious and I can see exactly where both sides are coming from, it’s a common enough disagreement between people of different departments. Senior software engineers tend to be paranoid old bastards who loathe to trust anyone else's code, which is in direct opposition to so many “software as a service” business models these days. But from a business perspective it makes complete sense to always have your own copy of the data as well, even if it isn’t the copy being used. It’s not just loss of productivity (although I agree that’s the most likely extent of any service down time) but often there are legal obligations on keeping records of certain types of work, and, while I’m pretty sure a company could win a court battle to absolve itself of responsibility in the event of a trusted third party being the one to drop the ball, that’s not the kind of argument you even want to risk getting into when there’s such a simple extra safeguard that could be put in place.

My assessment of the risks of my own backup solution of course has a MUCH lower threshold for striking out controls based on cost. I'm a hobbyist after all, this whole thing does not generate money it only takes it. Most notably I don’t have any full offsite backups, which leaves me vulnerable to near total data loss in the unlikely event of a house fire or someone breaking in and just picking up and leaving with the whole lot. The problem with defending against either of these scenarios with a “proper” 3-2-1 backup strategy is that the first server already cost me enough, I don’t want to go investing almost the same amount into a second one to stick somewhere else! And paying any cloud provider to host terabytes is no friendlier on the wallet.

There’s also the issue of airgaps, which is something enterprises need to think about but I do not have any desire to entertain. If a bad actor were to infiltrate my network in such a way that gave them root access to the server hosting all my data I would have no ability to restore from a ransomware attack. Of course this scenario is very unlikely, I’m already doing a lot to mitigate the risk of a cyber attack because running my services securely doesn’t incur additional costs (just additional time, which does mean I haven’t implemented everything possible, just enough to be comfortable there are no glaring holes), but it’s still something I am conscious of when running something which is exposed (in a small way) to the internet. Cybersecurity is also a whole separate but interesting topic that I’m by no means an expert in but enjoy putting into practise (unlike BATTERIES. God. What is wrong with electrical engineers (I say this with love, I work with many of them)).

In conclusion, coming back to how this relates to my dreamcatcher images blog, you can rest assured that my collection of rare recordings is about as safe as my collection of rare albums is, in that, barring a large scale disaster, they should be safe as long as I want to keep them. Which is hopefully going to be a very long time indeed, because I don’t just enjoy the process I also enjoy the content I’m preserving. But the average person probably doesn’t need to put the same level of effort into archiving — Google and Microsoft’s cloud services have much more redundancy than a home setup could ever achieve and can hold all the essentials (like the backup of the Minecraft server on which you met your oldest friends, for example).

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Why would C-11 have any impact on what videos are available in another country, i.e. Japan? Aside from not finding anything about this in the text of the bill or in news coverage of the concerns around the bill, the Canadian government also doesn't have the power to regulate this. This idea has appeared to two asks you've received and I'm very confused about where it is coming from.

Under the Canadian broadcasting system, online services such as Netflix, Crave, Disney+ and their domestic and foreign competitors are described as "online undertakings." If passed, the Bill will empower the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications (the "CRTC") to make orders imposing conditions on "online undertakings" reflective of certain objectives, including, but not limited to: support for the creation of Canadian content; fair and equitable treatment of similarly situated broadcasting undertakings; and diversity, equity and inclusion (including with respect to Indigenous communities).

While the scope of the Bill is significant, the draft legislation stops short of providing any specific requirements or measures, leaving this task solely to the discretion of the CRTC to assess what is required of each online undertaking in a regulatory proceeding and order accordingly. The CRTC will be provided with the power to set quotas (depending on the nature of the online undertaking), determine the mandated types of content and impose specific obligations such as discoverability and programming expenditure requirements.

(x)

[alarrytale]

DawBell uses H name to get attention on JC and rehab JC's image. //

PR companies don't have that much power over a client. Harry would fire them if they were connecting him to a more controversial client against his will and to his detriment. He's just not bothered about the rumours surrounding James, not enough to end the friendship.

Why can't you accept that James Corden is Harry's friend just as Nizam Kabir is Louis' friend? People do stay friends with problematic people they've known since they were teenagers, especially if the behaviour isn't directed at them . I do myself. There's no need to invent conspiracies around Dawbell.

Hi, anon!

We don't know how much power DawBell's got over Harry, could be little or could be a lot. On their website they list the services they provide. One of them is "Media Navigation" which is "Comprehensive media management & coordination of promo opportunities". JC is their top client in Entertainment and Harry in Music. One planned pap outing together can be a coincidence, five or six is a coordinated promotional effort.

This is all very reminiscent of H and Nick Grim*haw when they were both under Hackford Jones.

From a business perspective H being seen this much with JC is detrimental to his reputation and image. JC is known to be a horrible, inconsiderate, arrogant person who looks down on others and throws temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. It's all well documented and publicly known. Nobody likes him and he's hardly got celebrity friends. JC is mocked and i'm surprised he still get gigs. There's been no public apology from JC for the way he's treated people. He's not forgiven by the public.

Harry can't be blind to everyone's opinions about JC, he's probably witnessed his horrible behaviour himself too. He also can't be blind to the fact that JC dumped Louis like a rock after 1D, and clings to H because of his fame. JC would have dumped H if he wasn't beneficial to him. Have no doubts about it. So to me it's not a real friendship, it's a mutual beneficial PR friendship.

I don't care if 30 year old Harry is actually friends with 45 year old JC. If you believe that they leisurely take citrus fruit bicycle trips to nurture their blossoming friendship, and paps just happens to take pictures of them together, then you do you.

From a business perspective it's a shit move on Harry's part. TPWK-Harry won't help out a Treat People Like Shit-friend like this several times when it's in danger of hurting his own image. Harry can have as many horrible friends he wants to, but he doesn’t need to actively be papped with them and promote them. The association is hurting his image, and DawBell wouldn't have allowed it if JC wasn't also a client of theirs.

It is hurting Harry's image and he looks like a hypocrite. So the only explanation to me is that it's a contractual obligation, or DawBell is cashing in a favour. I think they're banking on H's reputation handling this attempt at JC's image rehab, but don't be fooled to believe Harry's getting anything out of this situation, except headlines.

To the second anon - there is a difference between staying friends with problematic people and actively helping promoting them. That's equal to publicly supporting them. If Ni*am was a celebrity and Louis was plugging his stuff it would be bad for his image, but not as bad for his image as it is for H. Louis already has a homophobic image so it would be more in line of what to expect. JC is doing the opposite of what H is preaching so this is worse for H.

Please, do not be naive about all this. It's all business.

[lindira]

I'm trying not to feel bad for not having worked on my fanfic much over these past few weeks. I've been to the doctor's office at least once every week since the middle of January, and while that all is in service of finally getting my issues sorted out, it's pretty overwhelming too. I've finally got a care provider who is listening to me and agrees that - even though I'm not even 42 yet - I've probably been going through perimenopause for the past 5 years. I'm finally getting my eczema treated properly and trying to get my diabetes back under control. My depression and anxiety have been terrible since the holidays, and my kids have been coming home with colds every month, which means that my husband and I get sick too. This is on top of work, managing my family's transportation and meals, my son's orchestra practices and concerts, his robotics tournaments, and my other son's general nuttiness.

So, yeah, writing my story about video game characters gets shoved aside. But I want to be creating and I want to be practicing my writing. And maybe there's only a handful of people following my story at the moment, but it matters to me that they're interested and waiting for an update. I also don't want it to get so long between chapters that I lose momentum, because I want to see this whole story through. I'm chomping at the bit to write other stories with Envy and Astarion too, but I know I have to balance my hyperfixations with taking care of myself and my obligations.

Right now, my free time hours have been spent watching Critical Role and playing bits of BG3 here and there. I'd like to finish Envy's (first) playthrough soon, and get to the first romance scene in the replay. Maybe I'll get to the latter tomorrow.

Not a lot of time or spoons left tonight, though. Maybe I'll do that self-care thing again and go to bed at a reasonable time.

[crystalelemental]

Did you know that sometimes I write for stuff that isn't Pokemon? Unbelievable, I know. I'm back on MagiRevo. I've been reading the light novels, specifically got through the first three and finally received book 4 today, and listen. Listen. I am well aware that Lainie/Ilia is the canon pair. But Book 2 provided me crumbs, and I am a scavenger at heart, so consider: Lainie/Tilty.

First point! The crumbs in question largely come from how Tilty is presented, and how she acts in Book 2. This is somehow who is effectively a shut-in, does not like to interact with others, and only expresses interest in curses and the occasional Anis shenanigans. This is contrasted immediately when Lainie joins the villa, as Tilty is the one most directly helping get her powers under control, then starts showing up regularly at the villa just to check in on her. For someone who never leaves, and apparently never bothers going to Anis, this feels like a big deal.

Second point! Similarities do exist between their respective histories. Tilty has tremendous magical power that causes her to go wild when she uses it too much, the only solution to which is "never use your magic ever," making her exceedingly bitter about her own life and loss, and being the one most adamant about living for oneself. On the other hand, we have Lainie, whose powers have been a life-long curse that made people either adore her unconditionally, or loathe her based on the perceived slight of her not returning their attentions. Tilty receded into her manor due to her powers, but also out of choice. Lainie wants nothing more than to be left alone, but initially feels duty-bound to do what she can in service of others. Which is why she goes maid route. But like. You see where I'm going with this?

Third point! Okay come on, be honest with me. Tilty's basically the medical expert of the group and is super gloomy and dresses all in black and lives how she wants, while Lainie is a vampire that dresses all in white and is super mild-mannered and feels obligated to give back to people. That's a nice contrast, right? Do you feel what I feel? Are our hearts beating as one?

Probably not. I dunno. This is my first foray into specifically non-canon pairings. No all the Pokemon stuff doesn't really count; nothing is made canon so nothing is hardline unconfirmed either. This is the only time I've gone in defiance of canon for a ship. In what is, admittedly, a fairly small fandom space. I feel like if one person likes this one, I'd consider it well received. I wrote this for me. And that...might show a little. Look, I tend to write my relationships very PG, and while I wouldn't really call this anything serious, I aimed to make their engagement a little spicier than my usual fare. Which is like. "Mild curry made in the northeastern US" level spice, but I am prudish by nature and I have to build up the tolerance. I need you to understand, the first actual pairing fic I wrote where people kissed? I could not let this go while talking about it to my wife. Wife, do you understand? They're going to kiss. On the mouth. No, not with tongue, that is way too much, what do you take me for? I am a particularly repressed victorian maiden, I have to fan myself writing something like this and they're fully clothed. I'm trying my best, okay?