#sex and sexuality in thg

[triassictriserratops]

Since Peeta is Bi (in fanon for most people) how do you think people react to it, like I assume especially since Panem isn't really a accepting place that there would definitely be some false rumours, but what I personally think would be a popular rumour would be calling Peeta promiscuous (I think thats the word? Idk I'm dumb) mainly because I see that as a popular thought that Bi people can't be monogamous or faithful, just because they like both means they can't stay with one person, which is a weird idea. Tbh idk where I'm going with this ask I kinda just wanted to share my idea of Peeta being labelled as unfaithful for his bisexuality and him just gasping like how dare they assume that

Hokay, so, everything I'm about to say is just my opinions/theories since there isn't really enough information in the text to have a definitive answer. I'd definitely LOVE to hear other people's thoughts on this, tho! As for how queer identity is likely accepted in Panem - I think it depends on what side of the divide you live on.

THE CAPITOL

i think that The Capitol is likely pretty queer friendly. So much of the "fashion" and "artistry" of the Capitol is so reminiscent of 1950s ball culture that it's difficult not to see some sort of cultural inspiration.

I think that likely an aspect of the "panem et circenses" we see at play in the Capitol would hinge on excessive freedoms of expression. You have the freedom (obligation) to be anything and everything you want. You have to spend to excess, have sex to excess, follow fashion trends to excess - otherwise are you any more elite than any of the barbarians in the districts? (This level of pressure and expectation is what I think leads us to the credit/debtors prisons/avox pipeline that is hinted at in the books) If the above is true then I could very much see the Capitol encouraging the exploration of sex and sexuality - maybe even more as a "trend" or a fetishization of sexuality than natural identity

THE DISTRICTS

I believe that the districts are subjected to the levels of forced breeding that we see in the underserved communities in the United States today. It is to the Capitol's benefit to keep the masses poor, hungry, and constantly supplying new generations of children to act as a continuation of the entertainment fodder and the work force. Ergo, little to no medical facilities, little to no access to birth control, little to no sex ed, and little to no social services or resources. This leads me to believe that the Capitol would likely force restrictions on same sex couples. I don't think it would be outright banning or criminalization - but I do see them passing ordinances that same sex married couples do not receive government assigned housing. (Especially under the pretense of the houses being meant for "family and child stability" or some nonsense. Something that would, on it's face, look good to the average Capitolite. "Look how wonderful we are to them! We provide homes so people can build families!" I could also see them say that same sex couples aren't allowed to adopt children as that can be a potential "abuse of the tessera system". This would be spun as "preventing children from being taken advantage of for extra food portions." So, basically, it would be an undue hardship to be a queer person within the districts of Panem. Going further down the hole, i think it would be a HUGE no-no within the Merchant (or equivalent in other districts) classes. Life in the districts as a Merchant is heavily reliant on succession. These business have existed for generations and are passed down within the family. The merchants also maintain ownership by, as much as possible, marrying within other businesses versus marrying into the Seam.

A young, queer adult in the Merchant class would likely be as heavily ostracized as Katniss' mother was for marrying into the Seam.

DISTRICT 13

I theorize that, especially after the illness that wiped out a majority of the population - especially the children - of District 13, that this District is likely the HARSHEST on same sex attraction.

I definitely see this district as having heavy restrictions on sex in order to control and prioritize insemination and fertilization. Hence why someone like Dalton was given the field of work that he was given, coming from the cattle farms of District 10. As for the second part of your ask, Peeta Mellark Everdeen would LAUGH at anyone who would dare suggest he would cheat on his wife. He's been married since he was 5, thank you very much.

[nightlocked-in]

“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked

[youcantseeus-fan]

Fic: Water Creatures, Chapter 14: Sordid Things (Katniss/Finnick)

Warnings: Referenced sex trafficking/prostitution, sexually transmitted diseases, Katniss is a sex worker in this.  

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33511450/chapters/116362288

After Finnick was finished fucking her, Beatrix fell asleep in his bed almost immediately.

Finnick quietly extricated himself from her embrace, sighing in relief. If Beatrix slept long, he might even be able to catch a bit of shut eye for himself tonight — in the armchair in his living room, that is. He could never sleep in the same bed as one of his clients.

Finnick walked out to his living room and decided to make himself a drink. He'd earned one. He rolled his shoulders. For some reason, his muscles sometimes ached after seeing clients, though there was no real reason why this should be the case. He made himself one of the gin martinis that they'd been drinking earlier and made a second for Beatrix just in case she did wake up.

He sat down in his favorite armchair and took a sip of his drink.

There was a knock at his back door.

Finnick frowned. It was getting dark outside and he wasn't sure who could be knocking at this hour. He went into the kitchen and opened the back door to find Katniss Everdeen standing on the stoop. Finnick felt heat rise to his face. Of course she would want to come down here, what with her kid getting injured earlier. Finnick had felt guilty about sending the boy off on his own, without even offering to escort him home. But it wasn't exactly like Finnick's time was his own. He couldn't walk out on a client. Katniss definitely struck him as the protective type of mother, though, so he couldn't say that he was surprised to see her.

"Katniss," he said. "Step inside."

She stepped into the kitchen. Finnick offered her a seat and she sat down.

"Let me explain about earlier," he said.

"Earlier?" she asked.

Finnick looked her over again, examining her confused expression. And then there were her clothes. They were nowhere near as obvious as the little red dress she'd worn the first time Finnick met her, but they weren't completely casual either. She was wearing jeans and a pretty top. Probably what a lot of women would wear to a date in this district. But the jeans were just a little too tight and the top was rather low-cut.

Katniss wasn't here because of Fletcher. Katniss was here to work.

"I — listen, I really can't hire you tonight," Finnick said.

"Oh," Katniss said, visibly deflating. "Well, I can come back some other time if you—"

"Finnick," said a voice behind him. Finnick gritted his teeth. The voice belonged to Beatrix Stodge.

"Beatrix. Darling," Finnick said, as he turned to face her.

She was wearing a long, silk robe and smoking a cigarette in one of the little holders that she favored. She stopped short as she caught sight of Katniss.

"Who on earth is she?" she asked.

"This is Katniss," Finnick said. He didn't offer any explanations for what Katniss was doing in his kitchen.

Beatrix's eyes took Katniss in more fully before she turned back to Finnick.

"And who is Katniss?"

"Just a friend," Finnick said.

"A friend? Darling, you've only been living in this district for a short time. How many friends can you have stopping by?"

"I've always made friends quickly," Finnick said, although this wasn't exactly true. Maybe it was true once, when he was a kid, but Finnick found it difficult to make friends these days.

"Um, maybe I should come back later," Katniss said.

Finnick was about to agree, but Beatrix shook her head.

"No, no, don't be ridiculous," Beatrix said. "I'm always eager to meet Finnick's friends. Aren't I, darling?"

Beatrix was slurring her words a bit. She was drunk. Finnick wasn't sure whether he should be happy about that fact or not. Clients could become unpredictable when drunk, but drinking and fucking had always put Beatrix in a better mood.

"No," Katniss said. "I don't want to ruin your evening. I didn't realize that Finnick had company—"

"Come into the living room and we can talk properly," Beatrix interrupted, waving her martini glass a bit. "We don't want to sit around the kitchen like servants now do we?"

"Uh—" Katniss started.

"Of course we don't," Beatrix said. She turned and walked into the living room. Katniss looked at Finnick and he shrugged. He wanted nothing better than to tell her to leave, but Beatrix could get antsy when her whims weren't obeyed. He half expected Katniss to leave on her own, but after pausing for a moment, Katniss sighed and followed Beatrix into the living room.

Beatrix sat down on the sofa where Killer was already quietly lounging. Finnick could tell just by looking at him that Beatrix had slipped the little mutt a sedative. The only time that Killer was that quiet was when Beatrix had slipped him a sedative. Katniss sat in the chair across from Beatrix. Finnick started to join Beatrix on the sofa, but she objected.

"Finnick, aren't you going to offer your friend a drink?" she asked.

"Katniss," Finnick said, evenly. "Would you like a drink?"

Katniss looked back and forth between Finnick and Beatrix before shrugging.

"Sure."

Finnick went over to the bar and made her the same martini that he'd made for himself and Beatrix. He wasn't going to try to figure out Katniss's drink preferences the way he had on the night he'd met her. He wanted to get her out the door as quickly as possible.

"My, you are a pretty thing, aren't you?" Beatrix asked Katniss as Finnick stirred the martini.

"I suppose," Katniss said, with the air of a woman who didn't truly think she was pretty.

"How did you meet Finnick?" Beatrix asked, petting Killer with one hand. The little mutt growled in appreciation.

"We met around town," Katniss said, waving her hand in a vague fashion. She was obviously uncomfortable, sitting on the edge of her seat.

"Around town?" Beatrix asked. "Well, that's terribly vague, my dear. Where exactly?"

Katniss glanced over at Finnick and he gave a small shake of his head. He hoped that she wasn't thinking of telling Beatrix how they'd really met.

"We met at the clinic," Katniss said.

"The clinic?"

"Yeah," she continued. "I work there part time and Finnick came in for a physical."

She was a terrible liar, flushing and refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Finnick found it interesting that she'd used her sister's job as a cover story.

"That's why I came over tonight, in fact," Katniss continued. "To tell him the results of the physical."

Beatrix raised her eyebrows while Finnick groaned to himself. This lie was even more obvious — even a child could have seen through it. Even a bored Capitolite.

"You make house calls at this hour?" Beatrix asked.

"Well, um, we're also friends as Finnick said," Katniss said, squirming a bit in her chair. "And I walk this way on my way home from work anyway, so …"

Katniss trailed off. Beatrix was now leaning back on the sofa and regarding her with suspicious eyes.

"Go on then," Beatrix said.

"Huh?"

"You said that you wanted to tell him the results of his physical. So tell him."

"Well —- I'm not sure — I mean, there's patient confidentiality to consider," Katniss said.

"Oh darling," Beatrix said. "Finnick and I have no secrets from one another."

Katniss looked back over at Finnick. He sighed.

"It's fine, Katniss," he said. The sooner she answered, the sooner Beatrix would become bored with her and she could be on her way. It wasn't as if she could actually reveal any secret information to Beatrix because she hadn't actually given him a physical. He handed Katniss her martini and she took a rather large drink.

"Well … your results are good," Katniss said. "All our tests came back, um, fine. You're very healthy."

"Oh, I figured that I was as healthy as a horse," Finnick said, wryly. She could have at least made her lie sound a little more convincing by making up some fake medical facts or test results or something.

Beatrix was nodding along.

"That's wonderful to hear," she said. "And the gonorrhea is all cleared up, correct?"

Katniss choked on her drink and then coughed several times. Finnick felt blood rush to his face.

"Um. What?" Katniss asked.

"I was told that he had gonorrhea," Beatrix said. "That's why I didn't arrange to come to District 12 earlier."

Katniss blinked and then looked over at Finnick.

"You have gonorrhea?" she asked, seemingly forgetting her story about treating him at the clinic.

"I had gonorrhea," Finnick admitted. "But it's cleared up now."

"Right," Katniss said, squirming even harder on the edge of her seat. "Well. I should go … since I've told you the results and all."

"My dear—" Beatrix started.

"I'll show you out," Finnick said. "Beatrix, darling, I would love to give you my undivided attention as soon as I show my little friend here to the door."

He wiggled his eyebrows at Beatrix suggestively. She giggled like a teenager. Finnick followed Katniss back through the kitchen and she turned on him as soon as they were out of Beatrix's hearing range.

"Do you really have gonorrhea?" she asked, in an undertone.

"Had," Finnick said, a bit irritated that she was asking again. "I don't have gonorrhea, I had gonorrhea."

"You took those shots they give for it at the clinic?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh. I guess that explains why …"

Katniss trailed off.

"That explains what?" Finnick asked.

"Well. I guess it explains why you didn't want to do anything the other times that we met," Katniss said. "I … appreciate you being careful. Not all guys would be that careful with a whore."

Oh. She was thinking of him as a client again. That was why she'd shown so much interest in the revelation that he'd had gonorrhea. She didn't want to catch it.

"Katniss, I—"

"You know," Katniss interrupted in an undertone. "You could have just told me that your girlfriend was here when you answered the door. I would have left quickly enough. You don't get very far in my line of work by stirring up the wrath of jealous girlfriends."

"I would imagine not," Finnick said, faintly.

"Personally, I think she seems a little old for you," Katniss went on. "But I guess it's none of my business."

"I'm no spring chicken," Finnick said, feeling rather cold. "I'm approaching forty."

"Yeah," Katniss said, with a snort. "And that woman is seventy if she's a day."

Finnick didn't know how to reply to that statement. Of course Beatrix was much older than him. Most of Finnick's clients were older than him. The clients who were around his age tended to want to fuck the victors who were in their teens or twenties. That was just how it went in the Capitol. Wealthy people wanted a pretty, younger thing to show about town.

"But like I said, none of my business," Katniss continued, quickly. "I'll come back some other time. How long did you say she was going to be in District 12?"

"I didn't," Finnick said, crossing his arms. "Never mind about that. I need to tell you something."

"Oh. What?"

"It's just — your son was here earlier," Finnick began.

Katniss's face scrunched up in confusion. "Fletcher? Here? Why?"

"We hired him to carry Beatrix's bags from the train station," Finnick said.

"Oh," Katniss said, her face clearing a bit. "Well, he goes down to the station sometimes looking to make a few extra dollars. A lot of the boys do that."

"Yeah," Finnick said, running a hand through his hair. "I just thought I'd tell you — while he was here, Beatrix's dog bit him."

"Fletcher got bitten by a dog?" Katniss asked, in alarm. "Where—"

"I patched him up and told him to go straight home," Finnick said. "I tried to give him money to go to the doctor if he needs it, but he wouldn't take it. I'm really sorry — I don't think it's serious, but if it gets worse I want you to be sure to let me know. I'll pay for any doctor's visits."

Katniss glanced into the living room where Beatrix was still petting Killer.

"That dog?" she asked. "He's little, but — he's a mutt, isn't he?"

"He's a ploodle, yes," Finnick said. "But his bite isn't toxic so far as I'm aware."

"I — I should get home," Katniss said. "I need to check on him."

Finnick nodded. "Of course. Again — I'm really sorry."

Katniss glanced back into the living room.

"Your girlfriend isn't going to apologize?" she asked, her eyes narrowing. "It was her dog, wasn't it?"

Finnick shook his head. Beatrix never apologized for anything that Killer did. And if she was to issue an apology, it wouldn't be to a woman from District 12.

"I'm not sure that she knows you and Fletcher are related," Finnick said, quickly. "And Beatrix is — well, she's Capitol. She thinks a little differently from you or I."

Katniss's eyes narrowed further.

"Okay, fine," she said, at last. "I guess that I'll see you later then."

After she left, Finnick walked back into the living room to find Beatrix polishing off her martini and stroking Killer's fur, lightly. She handed the empty glass to Finnick and asked him to refill it.

"Finnick, darling," she said, as he poured gin into her glass, "was that woman … a lady of the evening?"

Finnick paused. "Of course not. She just works at the clinic like she told you."

Beatrix raised her eyebrows. "I do hope that you're being truthful with me. I know that you must be terribly lonely here in District 12, but I would hate to see you do sordid things with someone unsavory."

Finnick stirred her drink, gritting his teeth the entire time. Anyone would think she'd forgotten that she'd paid to have sex with him.

"Oh Beatrix," Finnick said, in his best seductive purr. "The only lady that I intend to do sordid things to is you."

Beatrix smiled.

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

we're in love - m. murdock

a/n: hi guys not dead just played a LOT of baldurs gate over break and now im back ay college with matt murdock brainrot this ones been floating around the old noggin a while. sorry. likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! <3 warnings: DEAD DOVE with a happy ending, hard of hearing reader, cannon typical marvel violence, probably badly written violence, matt being upset, once again im tired and sleepy and bad at doing warnings, reader gets kidnapped TWICE, reader has superpowers, reader is TECHNICALLY a hybrid but literally just in the way that she has small antlers and deer like abilities (strength, jump height), fucked up experiments, ANGST ANGST ANGST, memory loss trope but like... the one from the hunger games. matt is hopelessly in love with reader, reader wants to kill matt, kissing, implied sexual ideas, cursing. SHAMELESS USE OF REAL OR NOT REAL FROM THG, reader having anxiety, and allusions of sex. word count: 7.1k summary: when your past finally catches up to you, matt truly learns what 'in sickness and in health' means. pairing: matt murdock x hoh!wife!reader now playing: we're in love - boygenius "will you still love me if it turns out I'm insane?/i know what you'll say/but it helps to hear you say it anyway."

Falling in love with Matt Murdock was the easy part.

Falling back in love with him was the tough bit.

You had spent the years leading up to meeting him as a boxer turned vigilante— Your dad had taught you how to fight young, which led to a lot of trouble at school until he eventually started helping you enter teenage fights against your mom’s wishes.

It’s how you paid for college.

And then, after your college experience, you lose control. It was never supposed to happen the way it did. You had lost a fight and stole the guy’s motorcycle in defiance. But the roads were wet from an early snow and people of New York never knew how to drive.

Just like that, the nerves in your hands were shot. The accident got your hearing too since you got sick from the cold after your accident. The infection got so bad that it took the hearing from your left ear—And half from your right.

For months, you thought you’d never gain control of your hands again, snapping from a promising young fighter to a deaf and shaky temp. You were miserable. Fighting was your everything for so long.

And then The Doctor found you.

No, not the alien from the British television show, but a man who promised you your old life back. He found you while you were at your lowest and realized that you would do anything for your old life back.

He said in exchange for your old life, all you would have to do would be a test subject for a harmless new drug he was testing out.

You were so enamored by the idea of your old life that you had decided to take him up on his offer, so you were whisked away upstate with a group of other people desperate enough to try this experiment out.

Every morning you were given a shot of blue liquid into your arm, and then, you were to preform a series of tasks to record your progress. After three weeks you grew frustrated that you had seen no progress. You spent most of your time asking people to talk into your right ear and becoming mad at The Doctor.

About a month in, you started growing antlers.

At first, you freaked out. Like, truly, screamed and yelled, wanting an explanation. The Doctor celebrated, telling you this was great news—And to prove it, he had you pick up a pen and write a sentence out. Your hands didn’t shake and did everything you told them to do.

On top of the antlers and the newfound control of your nerves, you were strong—Fast, too. You could jump twelve-foot walls. The Doctor was obsessed with you. While other patients died off from whatever drugs you were being given, you were thriving.

At the end of your three-month stay, you were excited to leave and head back to your life. You’d just have to wear beanies everywhere to hide your antlers, you told yourself. A small price to pay.

But The Doctor wouldn’t let you leave.

How could he, he asked you, when you were his best test subject?

Being a prisoner was a lot worse than you thought it would be. Day in and day out, you were trained to be a soldier, you think. Fighting various guards, doing different athletic tests. The serum hadn’t fixed your hearing, but it had given you all of these gifts.

Until The Doctor became cruel.

He gave the guards these batons that had shock currents at the end of them, instructing them to use it whenever you talked back or underperformed. For months you struggled through days of electric shocks and experiments.

One night, a guard slipped into your cell, expecting you to be an easy target. You quickly showed him differently, knocking him out and stealing his weapons. And then, you ran. You ran until your feet bled—No shoes.

An old woman who had retired upstate welcomed you into her small cabin and fed you, never asking about the small antlers growing out of your head. She simply gave you a warm knit cap and a pair of boots for the cold.

You remember eating chili with her as she told you about her deceased husband. You changed your last name to theirs, knowing The Doctor would find you if you kept going by your name. You stayed with her for a weekend, coming back from gathering firewood to The Doctor’s men there, having killed the kind old woman and on the hunt for you. You stole her car and never looked back.

The next few weeks after that had been full of killing various soldiers and armies that The Doctor had sent after you, until you eventually pushed The Doctor off a building, believing to have killed him for good.

And that was that.

You went on with your life as usual, finding a permanent job as a secretary. In a law office.

Which, of course, is where you met Matt.

With Matt, you never felt the need to hide who you were. Of course, it was a lot easier to tell him that some mad scientist had infected you with a drug that turned you into a deer hybrid when he told you that he was Daredevil.

And with time, some of the effects of the serum began to fizzle out. Strength, Agility, Antlers—Those stayed. The control over your hands didn’t. But you made peace with that. Physical Therapy twice a week and hearing aids helped.

Especially because early Sunday mornings were filled with Matt running his fingers through your hair, running his pointer finger along the curves of your antlers. He takes your hands and kisses your fingertips as they shake, hushing you softly when you start crying as he does.

He spars with you and spends nights running around New York City with you, jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

He tells you about Elektra, Stick, his dad, and Fisk.

One day, when you feel safe enough, wrapped up in his arms and a layer of blankets as snow falls against the windows, you tell him about The Doctor.  You explain to him your nightmares, and why they will never go away.

He kisses away your tears and promises he’ll never let anything happen to you.

When he asks you to marry him, you don’t hesitate to say yes. There’s not a moment where you regret that decision. You insist to get married in the summer, during the short month where your antlers shed before they grow back. He agrees happily, just wanting you to be happy.

You’ve been married for about five months when you start to think about kids. You’ve been married six when you realize the worst possible scenario is your reality—When vials of blue serum show up at your front door with a note scribbled out—

‘My Best Test Subject,

I cannot wait to catch up with you soon.

-The Doctor’

You call Matt in a panic, begging him to come home and be with you. He obliges and holds you as you calm down. He promised to love you in sickness and in health, and that is what he fully intends to do.

This is the story of the greatest challenge that your marriage would face.

• • •

After the note you had received, you almost exclusively traveled with Matt. Even for just a casual stroll, a walk to the deli or home from work, He was there with you. He knew you could handle yourself, but you felt safer with him close by.

But Matt’s senses were never as focused when it rained, especially on nights like today. The rain pours, it almost stings against his skin. And it’s loud. You don’t have your hearing aids in, so they catch you both by surprise.

It all happens too fast—

In an instant, Matt is being pulled off your arm and slammed against the closest brick alley, and when he hears the click of a gun behind him, he realizes what’s happening. He tries to fight, but before he can make any process, someone is swinging that gun against his head, and when he wakes up, he’s all alone.

He calls out to you and gets no response other than thunder rumbling from miles away. He is filled with nothing but a rage, a determination to find you.

He scrambles for his phone and uses it to call Karen.

“I need you to get Frank.” He tells her, “Please. I.. I don’t know what happened, but.. He took her, I need.. Karen, I need to find her.” He tells her.

Frank is on his way to New York within the hour.

• • •

When you wake up, your arms are strapped behind your back in some sort of metal contraption. You can feel the ache in your hands, indicating that you had fought against whoever brought you here. The room is quiet. A small cot in one corner, but the rest of the room is barren.

You’re wearing white pants and a gray muscle tee, with no shoes. You’re suddenly thankful you left your wedding ring at home, so that it might not end up in his hands.

You wait a while, and then the door opens. The Doctor, flanked by two men in heavy armor, holding those batons you’re all too acquainted with, steps into the room. You simply stare, but The Doctor looks like a child on Christmas morning.

But there’s something else to his appearance. His left eye is this bright yellow, and his pupil is a different shape. Green scales travel up his neck and coat the bottom right half of his face, and down his arms, reaching his fingertips. He looks like a monster, but you quickly realize what has happened.

Whatever serum gave you your abilities, was given to him. Only, his was made from that of snakes, not deer.

“My beautiful creation!” He gasps and takes your face in his hand, planting a kiss to your head, right between your antlers. “It’s been too long, you know.” His ‘s’ sounds are elongated, and his teeth are sharper. He has become destroyed by his own mad endeavors. When you don’t respond to his greeting, he continues to speak. “It’s been an eventful few years for you, huh?” When this doesn’t get a response from you, he stands up straight and backs up just a foot. “New job, new name… New husband.” Your head snaps up at that. “What? You think I haven’t been keeping tabs on you and the boy? What do you call him, then? Matthew or Daredevil?”

Your eyes grow wide, unsure how he knows about your husband’s secret hobby.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You spit, your gaze hardening into a glare.

“Don’t I? You make quite the couple. The little deaf doe and her crime fighting blind husband.” He laughs, “And they say I like a project.”

“You won’t touch him or I swear to god—”

“Little doe, you misunderstand. I want nothing to do with your husband. I just want you to be the good subject I know you can be.” He tells you. “You and I are the only of our kind. I want to study you, replicate you.”

“You’re going to kidnap more people.”

“You weren’t kidnapped, you volunteered.”

“I won’t do whatever it is you want me to do.” You tell him. “I don’t care, I will escape, I will kill you.”

He shakes his head, taking one of the batons from the guards, before hitting you across the face with it. You groan in pain, turning your head back to glare at him. He sighs.

“I didn’t want to have to do this. But I did anticipate that Husband of yours interrupting things.” He hands the baton back to the guard before telling him. “Take her down the hall and get her ready, alright?”

You struggle your way down the hall, refusing to do whatever is coming to you without a fight. When the guards uncuff you to strap you to this big dentist looking chair, you manage to get out of the grasp of the guard, swinging a punch on him but this newfound advantage is short lived, as the other guard quickly grabs your arms and pushes you against the chair. You’re yelling and thrashing but they manage to get your arms and legs strapped down to the chair.

Your heartbeat is racing, and quietly, only in your mind, you beg. But not for mercy. Not from The Doctor. You beg Matt to come find you. Because you know that you do not stand a chance on your own, but maybe he could find you. He had to find you.

The Doctor sits in a chair next to you and holds up a small purple vial.

“This is hallucinogenic snake venom, mixed with a duller version of the serum we gave you. What this will do is allow me to go into your memories and alter them.” He explains as if you’re getting a simple procedure done. Tears fill your eyes.

“You’re going to make me forget him?” You ask, your voice breaking.

The Doctor hushes you softly, wiping your tears softly.

“Oh, no, little doe. I’m going to change what you do remember about him to make you hate him.”

• • •

Six months is a long time to be without your wife. For anyone, no matter who it is.

For Matt Murdock, it’s absolute torture. He spends all day half paying attention to his work while trying to research who The Doctor is. He spends all night trying to find you.

Frank lives, breathes, eats and sleeps to find you. He’s still technically a wanted man, so he pretty much stays under the radar as he looks for you. You remind him of a lot of guys he knew in the army, of himself.

Karen busies herself with research, looking through cases of old files at The Bulletin to try and see if there are any tips or stories that could maybe be connected to where you are. She gets about as little sleep as Matt.

And Foggy has the most important job of all.

Making sure Matt doesn’t kill himself in the process of trying to find you. Because for the first two months Matt didn’t sleep, hardly ate. And as he deteriorated, Foggy reminded him that to find you, he’d need to stay alive. He needs to shower, he needs to keep going to church, he needs to keep eating. The thought of hearing your heartbeat again keeps him going.

It’s as they’re packing up to go home one night that Frank comes into the office with blood-stained hands. They all know he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have something, so Karen asks first.

“What? What is it?”

“Buddy of mine found a file. Some private medicinal corporation funding a project for some sort of doctor doing cancer research, upstate.”

The location peaks Matt’s interest, because one of the few things he knows of your first experience is that the lab was in upstate New York.

“Okay, but—” Karen starts, but Frank hands her the file.

“Report shows the guy had scales.” He told her. “And I don’t know what you guys make of that but sounds to me like a side effect similar to the serum that was given to her.”

“Where?” Matt asks.

“Red, just—”

“Give me a god damn address, Frank.” He demands.

“I’ll drive you. Come on, things are probably gonna get wild and I don’t want you going alone.” He told him. Matt agrees, but only because he knows he can’t drive and would wind up walking to you.

“Then let’s go.” Before Frank can argue, Matt is walking out the door and going to get suited up for the journey ahead.

• • •

Daredevil is my enemy.

Matt Murdock hates me.

I hate him.

We were never really in love with each other.

These are the thoughts that echo through your mind as you wait for your next round of testing. The six-month mark is pivotal, The Doctor tells you time and time again.

Overall, you’ve made tremendous progress. He tells you that within weeks, other serums will be ready to test on new subjects. Maybe then, he tells you, he’ll promote you from just being a soldier.

Maybe.

You almost don’t hear the alarm going off somewhere in the distance. Of course, you don’t. The serum has never helped your hearing.

The way you remember it, Daredevil, a man who once claimed to love you, fought you to the point that he destroyed the nerves in your hands, destroyed your hearing. It’s fuzzy now, but you know this: The Doctor helped you. He put you back together.

But you do hear the alarm, eventually. It concerns you; it means someone has broken into the building. Your thoughts linger on the masked vigilante that haunts your nightmare. You’re getting stronger to defeat him, The Doctor says.

It’s a cool summer night when whoever it is broke in, breaks down your door. You immediately stand, quickly identifying Frank Castle, a grin breaking across your face. Closely behind, you identify a man in red.

Your heartbeat races, but you just stare at the pair.

Matt strips off his helmet and approaches you, wanting to make sure this was real. That you were real. His hands find your cheeks, and tears fill his eyes. He says your name gently.

“I found you, I’ve got you…”

You blink, unsure of what sort of cruel teasing that was.

Because in an instant, your glare hardens and you’re pushing him against a wall, starting to throw punches at him. He’s too far in shock to react, but Frank is pulling you off of him, and you’re struggling against him.

“Let me go! I need to kill him! He’s evil, he needs to die!” You cry, and Matt is just saying your name softly, in absolute disarray. What had they done to you, his sweet girl?

Frank pins you down to the ground, unsure of why you, a woman he had perceived to be so in love with the man behind him, are so adamant that he dies.

“Enough, Enough!” He barks, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at Matt. “That is your husband, girl. Stop acting like he’s torturing you when he is not the one whose been experimenting on you for six months!”

“Let me go, I need him gone! He’s cruel, He’s a monster!” You cry, and Matt has started crying. Putting you both out of your misery, Frank hits you in a way that knocks you right out. Matt goes over to your now unconscious form and pets your hair.

“Why was she—”

“I don’t know.. I just don’t know, red. Let’s get her out of here to figure it out, okay?” Matt just nods and grabs his helmet, slipping it on so Frank can’t see him crying anymore.

• • •

If you had a nickel for every time you woke up tied to a chair, you’d have more nickels than you had fingers.

Today is no different.

You’re surrounded by people you don’t recognize. And one you do. Your angry glare stays on him, and he looks upset by it.

You’re unsure why. You’re so sure he just wanted you dead.

The blonde woman in front of you says your name softly. When your gaze shifts to her, you notice her soft eyes.

“How do you know my name?” You ask.

She frowns.

“It—Because we’re good friends.”

“I don’t know you.”

“You don’t… My name is Karen.” She says softly. She goes over to a nearby shelf, pulling out a picture frame and showing it to you. “Here, that’s you and me. At your wedding.”

“My wedding? The one that he set up just to hurt me?”

Matt remembers you telling him that you had never been happier than when you were getting ready for your wedding.

There’s two other men, one held you down while you were meant to kill Matt, but the other one.. You vaguely remember him standing next to Matt when you got married.

He speaks next.

“Matt and Frank, they found these vials in one of the labs. We think the man that took you used it to... to alter your memories.”

“Why would The Doctor do that? He helped me.” You tell them, unsure what to make of this whole situation. Matt is growing extremely frustrated because he knows just how scared you were of that monster.

“Untie her.” Matt tells Frank, and everyone looks at him like he’s crazy. Including you because you know that you’ll just try and kill him. “Do it,” he tells him again and very hesitantly, Frank does untie you. When you’re free from the rope, you step forward to go towards Matt, but Frank grabs your arm.

“Don’t,” he says. But then, Matt reaches for Frank’s gun on the nearby table and hands it to you. Odd choice for a man you want to kill.

“Go ahead.” He tells you, facing you now. “Shoot me, kill me if that’s what you really want to do.” He says. You stare at the gun in your hand for a second, before holding it properly and aiming it at Matt. Everyone waits with bated breath to see what you’ll do.

Pull the trigger, you tell yourself, The Doctor’s voice echoing around your head. He hurt you, the voice says. He needs to die.

And yet, you just stare at the man on the other end of the gun, trying to build up the courage to kill him. To kill the man that for months you have been taught needs to die. That you have memories of hurting you, of maiming you.

Your hand tremors as tears fill your eyes, until you eventually drop your arm, so the gun isn’t pointing at him anymore.

“Look at the photo of you and Karen,” Matt tells you, “You have hearing aids in the photo. I didn’t do that to you, you got into a bad accident, you got sick and that’s how you lost your hearing. I had nothing to do with that. You even had your powers before me, you didn’t just get them in the past six months. The Doctor is an evil man who just wanted to torture people and turn them into science experiments.” He tells you, and you want to tell him to stop, that it’s not true. But something in you tells you not to. “I love you,” he says gently, and you flinch away from him when he says this.

It breaks his heart into a million pieces. Absolutely shatters it.

“I don’t know you.” You tell him.

Sensing that Matt doesn’t know what to say to that, Frank steps forward.

“Hey. I’m Frank, you remember me?”

“You pinned me down when you found me.” He sighs softly.

“Yeah, well.. You have memories of when the two of you got married, right? So those are real memories… What about the ones of him hurting you? Do they look any different?”

You take a moment to close your eyes and really focus on the memory you have so closely attached to the man in red. They’re.. Filmy. Like they have a filter on them or like glass shimmering in the sun.

Tears fall from your eyes as you open them, your hand quickly coming up to wipe your tears.

“I think we did enough for now.. She needs to rest.” The man whose name you don’t know, but he has this shaggy blonde hair. Then this question comes up in everyone’s mind—Where will you stay?

“I’ll take the couch,” Matt says, “You take the bed.” You don’t know how comfortable you are with being alone with Matt in this apartment, even if the memories are fake. They feel pretty real.

“I don’t know if—” Karen starts.

“I.. It’s fine..” you say softly, and that fills Matt with a fraction of hope. “It’s just over night.”

Frank sighs softly, taking his gun off the table and glancing at Matt.

“We’re only a phone call away, alright?” Karen tells him.

It feels sort of awkward that they only talk to him as if you can’t hear them. Well, you can’t hear them very well, but you can hear.

“There’s clothes for you in the bedroom,” Matt tells you, “Go take a shower and I’ll walk them to the door.” Very reluctant to turn your back on Matt, you make your way to the bedroom to gather your clothes and go to shower.

You really haven’t had a good shower in six months, so it’s nice to wash the dirt off your skin and from beneath your fingernails. You spend a long time under the hot shower, letting it burn your skin. Your whole life has been turned upside down because you’re slowly coming to terms with the fact that Matt Murdock isn’t your sworn enemy, and that maybe.. he just.. does like you..

Meanwhile, Matt walks the others out, or at least to the door, hesitant to go too far from you.

Foggy glances back to him before he leaves, curiously.

“How did you know she wouldn’t shoot you?”

He hesitates.

“I didn’t.” he says softly. “I just trusted that somewhere within her, my wife still loves me.”

• • •

Later that night, you stare out the window of his apartment at that bright billboard. You gaze at it curiously, and hear Matt call your name gently behind you. In his hands, he holds your hearing aids.

You put them on, and just look at him for a few minutes.

“You kept them?”

“I never stopped looking for you..” He told you. “I prayed every night hoping to hear your heartbeat again.” He tells you, and you don’t know what to make of it. He seems so devoted to you, yet you have these memories of him beating you until you’re close to death.

“I’m sorry I can’t be in love with you the way you want me to be.”

He shrugs gently.

“In sickness and in health, right?”

“And in torture and memory alteration.”

“Same thing.”

For the first time in six months, you smile.

Maybe your husband isn’t such a bad guy.

You can only hope he’ll love you long enough for you to get your shit together and not want to kill him anymore.

• • •

Memories are a tricky thing.

You decide to spend your days with Frank, hunting down various people who worked with The Doctor. You talk a lot about your memories with him. And no matter what, at the end of the day, you have dinner with Matt.

One night, he brings home Thai Food.

“We had this for our first date,” he recalls. “You got pad Thai, your favorite.” You try to recall the memory.

“You wore a nice blue button up, right?” You say softly. He smiles gently and nods.

“Yeah. I did.” He says gently.

“Can..” You hesitate. “Can you tell me more about it? Our life together? I can’t.. discern between what’s real and fabricated.” You’re making new memories, sure, but you know he misses the life the two of you had together.

But he’s caught off guard by your request. For the past few weeks, you’ve been hesitant to indulge in any memories you think might be real.

“You used to work for me.” He tells you. “Not in a weird way, but our office is small. We fell in love over Thai food and opening statements.”

“Why did you want to marry me?”

He hesitates for a second, not wanting to scare you off.

“Because I love you.” He tells you. “Because when you were with me, it was the closest thing I’d ever knew to peace.” He confesses.

“Oh..”

“Yeah.” He takes another bite of his food. “You know if you have a memory and you don’t know if it’s real, you can always ask.”

You smile softly.

“Thanks.” There’s a soft silence that fills the room before you ask, “I have this memory of us in bed, with you running your hand through my hair.. Your fingers tracing these antlers I have.. Is that real?”

“Yeah, it is..” He promised. “I have a thing about textures and your hair is soft.”

“I’m glad.” You smile. This is nice. This gentleness that’s between you. It’s a softness you aren’t used to, one that you don’t know if you’d ever quite get used to.

Later that night, when you were meant to be fast asleep, you wake up with a startling gasp in bed. You look around panicked. You don’t quite know who you’re looking for..

Until Matt comes into the room, a concerned look on his face.

“Are you okay?” He asks, and this calmness washes over you.

“Yeah..”

“Okay. Okay, good, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” He says softly. He’s been so good to you, sleeping on the couch for so many weeks. He goes to leave, but you call out to him. He turns back to you.

“Can you stay with me?” You ask.

“Yeah, of course.” He says softly, climbing into bed with you. You think for a second, before shifting a bit, resting your head against his chest. You listen to the gentle thud of his heartbeat, as his hand finds your back, gently rubbing up and down. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He isn’t dumb—He knows you have nightmares. And that on the nights that you do, you’re quieter and more avoidant of him. It’s a bad habit, one you want to break. Because you recognize that your dreams aren’t real.

Matt has never done anything to you, and you’re sure of this.. For the most part. Sometimes when you wake up, you must reorient yourself and remind yourself that Matt has no malicious intent towards you and no reason to hurt you.

But it takes you a few minutes to accomplish this. On those mornings, you tend to keep your distance from him, and because Matt wants nothing but your happiness, he stays away from you. But tea is always placed in front of you, and he never strays far from you.

“Not really.” You finally answer. There’s another beat of silence. “We went as the couple from The Princess Bride for our first Halloween together.. Real or not real?”

“Real.” He confirms.

“You broke my nose once during an argument. Real or not real?”

“Not real.” He tells you. “I would never hurt you. Even when we used to fight at the gym, it was always for practice, never to do actual damage. And when we would spar, it would always end with us going home and taking a hot bath.”

You close your eyes, trying to recall that particular memory. When you find it, your face flushes with this unfamiliar heat.

“You’re still trying to protect me even though I wanted you dead... Real or not real?”

“Real.” He doesn’t even hesitate. He’s not sure if you’ve realized it yet, but he’d rather die than put you anywhere close to being in danger. His hand continues to trace patterns into your skin, as you think about his response.

You fall asleep like this, close to the man who you’re realizing has never intended to hurt you a day in your life.

• • •

The day you realize you’re in love with your husband is horrifying.

Which seems like a crazy accusation to make, and yet, you feel nothing but horror when you realize that you are desperate for him. Which is insane, because you’ve been living with him for two months when you realize you are desperate to kiss him like you’re drowning and need air.

It happens at the office. You decided to cook, because you remember really liking it, and to say thank you for all he’s done for you, you want to bring lunch to Matt at work. So you make this really delicious chicken pesto pasta, and you pick up sodas to go along with it. Matt gets the following text:

‘Your favorite soda is Dr. Pepper. Real or not real?’

Five minutes later, you get a response.

‘Real. Yours is sprite.’

You pick up a bottle of each and head over to his office. You’ve been there a few times before, but mostly it was because Frank needed to talk to Karen about something, but lately you’ve found yourself wanting to go to the office just to see Matt.

Matt is surprised when he hears the familiar beat of your heart on the other side of the door. He can also hear the slight buzz of your hearing aids.

“Sweetheart, you can come in.” He calls, but you hesitate even further. Not because you’re confused as to why he knows it’s you, but because your brain sort of short circuits when he calls you the pet name. But after a few minutes, you walk into the room and place lunch on his desk, as well with your drinks.

“Do you like pesto?”

“We had pesto pasta at our wedding.” Oh.

“So you do?”

“Yeah, I do. Especially the way you make it.”

“Oh, good.” You smile and sit at the chair on the other side of the desk. “Because I made chicken pesto pasta for lunch and figured you might want some.”

“Well, thank you for thinking of me.”

There’s a quiet calm between the two of you.

“This is a pretty killer first date, huh?” This makes Matt laugh, because in his mind, your first date was eating Thai food and listening to music. But this isn’t bad either.

“Well, Chivalry must be dead then, because I didn’t even buy you flowers.” He hums, and you tilt your head.

“I don’t remember you ever buying me flowers.” He frowns at this.

“Well, I’m going to have to fix that.”

And that’s how the afternoon goes. You sit with Matt in his office, eating a homemade chicken pasta and falling in love with him. As you go to leave, he asks you what you have planned for the day.

“I have some errands to run, but I should be home to make dinner.” And for a moment, Matt forgets all that’s happened, and he lets himself believe that you have all your memories of him perfectly intact and no one’s ever made you think otherwise.

You get back to the apartment a few hours later, and just as you’re unpacking your groceries, there’s a knock at the door. When you open it, a delivery man stands with a bouquet of flowers. Your face is warm as you sign off on them.

As you put them in their vase, you notice a note attached to it. You catch yourself grinning as you read his little note, that reads ‘I’ll buy you flowers until I’m old and wrinkly. Real.’

The urge to run back to the office and kiss him overwhelms you.

So you call Frank.

This leads to the pair of you, sitting at a booth in a diner, nursing coffees and toast.

“I hope you didn’t call me here just to complain about married life.” He tells you, making a joke out of the thing that terrifies you.

“No, I just wanted you to sit here talking to a chick with antlers so you can look like more of a freak than you already are.” You tease.

It gets you both laughing. These moments, in between all the nightmares and all of the filmy memories, fill you with a light you can’t quite describe.

“So, why’d you really call me to meet up?” He asks. “I have to assume you don’t just want to chitchat.”

“I think I’m in love with Matt.” You tell him. He raises an eyebrow.

“What? Why does that sound like you think it’s a problem?” He asks.

“I don’t know.” You confess. “It’s like I don’t want to love him, like a part of me still believes he’s the bad guy. I know he does.. Besides, I was so awful to him for so long. I pointed a gun at him and he still comforts me every night. What if I don’t deserve this?” You ask. “What if I don’t deserve him?”

Frank actually laughs—Okay, not like a giggle or a belly laugh, but it gets a good chuckle out of him.

“You and Red with that shit—Questioning if you’ve done enough for something good to happen to you. With the ‘Do I deserve this?’ and the ‘Am I worthy of this?” He shakes his head. “All that shit is irrelevant. Do you want it? Do you want to be with him?”

Tears fill your eyes as you realize what that means.

“You and him, you love each other like breathing, and I know you don’t quite get that yet, but it’s the same reason you didn’t shoot him that day. Something in you knows that you love him and deserve his love.” Frank is speaking from experience, because he knows that no matter what he’s done, he knows he deserves one more kiss from his wife.

But he’ll never get that chance.

He hopes Matt does.

• • •

It takes you a long time to make your way back to the apartment. When you get there, Matt immediately stands from his place on the couch and has this look of concern etched across his face.

“Is everything okay?” he asks gently, “Your heart is racing, I just want to make sure you’re safe and—"

“I’m fine.” You smile gently. “Really, I… Thank you for the flowers.” You tell him. His face softens.

“You like them?”

“I love them, Matt.” You confess. “I’ve spent.. So long trying to rationalize everything, sort out the real things from the things that aren’t..” You’re not too sure what you’re trying to say. “I just.. I want.. I want to try. I want to try and be with you, I’m ready for that. I’m ready to be happy with you..”

He hesitates. Not because he doesn’t want to, because he doesn’t want you, but he is worried that you’re only saying these things because you feel like you might owe him. You don’t. You don’t owe him anything other than what you want to give him, and he is desperate for you to know that.

“Sweetheart, You don’t.. I don’t need.. I don’t need you to pretend like you want me just because I’ve taken care of you. It’s more than enough to just—”

Matt is cut off by his first kiss from you in eight months. Your hands rest on the sides of his cheeks, and his arms are quickly around your torso. The kiss is passionate but soft at first—Until you push deeper, desperate to be as close as you can to him. Your hand even comes up to pull off his glasses to see his eyes.

Without thinking, you pull away from him only for your hand to come down to the hem of his shirt, going to pull it off.

“Off, off, off, off—” You softly request, and he just laughs, taking your hand in his, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“Stop. Wait.” He says gently. “I just.. I want to make sure you actually want this.. That you really want me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“You’ve been reserved for the past two months, rightfully so, but now you want to sleep with me.. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. Or something you do just because you feel lonely or bad that I—” You cut him off with another kiss, breaking it shortly after.

“I want you. I want to rebuild my life with you. I want to create new, untainted memories.. It won’t be easy, but I want to be with you.” You confess. “I want countless summer nights, I want you to be there for all the nightmares, I.. I want to give you the same peace you’ve been trying to give me.”

You’re both crying and you don’t quite know why. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gold band. He slips it onto your fingers and kisses you again. He holds the hand with your wedding ring on it as he leads you into the bedroom. Into your life together. Into your arms. Where you were meant to be.

The next morning, you lay in the quiet of your apartment, the silk sheets tickling your skin. You focus on Matt’s breathing. He traces patterns into your skin.

“What are you thinking about?” You ask, and he takes a moment to answer.

“You.” He says gently. “You’re all I’ve been thinking about for three years.” He says gently. Then, when you don’t say anything, “Our anniversary was two months ago..” You know he misses the life you could have had together.

The life that he had planned out for the pair of you in his head. The life that oh so quietly, he longs for. The one without nightmares, supplemented by the laughter of any potential children you might have.

“I could get used to thinking about you, too, you know.” And it makes him laugh, as you lean up and bite his shoulder gently, before placing a kiss to that same patch of skin. He swats your arm gently before the pair of you break down into giggles.

“In the future, if you ever.. don’t want to do that, you don’t have to.”

“I know.” You tell him.

A comfortable silence fills the air again.

“I’m so happy you came back to me.” He says gently. “I was.. I spent so long worried that.. that we’d spend years just trying to find our footing again. That you wouldn’t get better..” For the second time tonight, you cut off his overthinking with a kiss.

“I love you.” You tell him when you’re finally ready to pull away. The morning light shines into the apartment, giving Matt this glowing effect. He practically shimmers in the golden light, and you just take a moment to commit the look of him to memory.

You try and take your time, studying him. He’s so beautiful this time of day.

“Real or not real?” He asks you softly, as one hand snakes up to your hair, his fingers gently running through it.

You lean forward and place a soft kiss to his lips.

“Real.”

[thesweetnessofspring]

While we're on topic about the lack of passion and physical attraction coming from Katniss and Peeta in the movies, can I just say how unfortunate that is, not just from an Everlark fan perspective, but culture as a whole?

Portrayal of popular m/f romance has often had an edge of abuse to it, if not outright abuse (and unfortunately that trend is still going on). I'm not saying books/movies with abusive or dark material should be banned or shouldn't even be enjoyed; however, there is something to only seeing unhealthy relationships. Also for these unhealthy relationships to be looked at without acknowledging that in real life, these dynamics are unfavorable at best and abusive at worst.

So with the release of The Hunger Games in 2008, we get a different relationship for the YA market. While yeah there were Gale girlies, most of the fans adored Peeta. Peeta who was kind, compassionate, funny without being mean, protective, and strong. And not only that, in an era of vampires and werewolves being inhumanly beautiful, Peeta was not only "some guy" in terms of looks, he ends the first book as an amputee. Still throughout the series Katniss describes him as "beautiful." And in a time when all these paranormal romances had the main character feeling a thrill of danger with her supernatural love interest, Katniss's main attraction to Peeta is that she felt safe with him. That he would never hurt her. That he would protect her. That with him, she could heal and feel hope.

Katniss describes physical attraction to Peeta as well as sexual attraction ("wanting more" of a kiss in THG, kissing Peeta and feeling a "hunger" in CF, imagining kissing Peeta like she did on the beach in MJ, and finally feeling "that hunger" again in MJ). But she also is highly traumatized and is in the middle of her greatest trauma during the series. This makes her uncertain and frightened, and so it isn't until Peeta comes back to Twelve at the end of Mockingjay that she's able to fully acknowledge that she loves Peeta romantically, because he helps her hope that "life will be good again." The "hunger" she felt was for more than hugs and short kisses. She found Peeta Mellark--baker, painter, wrestler, amputee--sexy. We close out Mockingjay with Katniss choosing Peeta, becoming physically intimate with him, and confirming her love to him.

Now what we get from the book is that you can have been abused, have chronic mental illness, be objectively less attractive than your "competition", and be physically disabled; but one's personality, humor, kindness, resilience, and care for others will make you sexy to the right person. That you can enjoy a safe and healthy relationship with good sex.

But by cutting out the intimacy that Katniss and Peeta share at the end of Mockingjay, the message is...if you're lucky the other guy will shoot himself in the foot and you'll win by default. Only don't expect the person you love to be physically attracted to you--you're still broken and not good enough. Just suck it up and accept what you got. Or, if you identify more with Katniss, that if you choose the "safe" person, just be prepared for a really dry sex life. Safe can't be sexy, so you have to choose one.

What an incredible miss for the movies. What a miss to tell boys you can be kind and sensitive and average-looking and the right person will want you. What a miss to tell girls that if a person is thoughtful and caring and giving, that is attractive and honestly, arousing. What a miss to share these messages with any person, however they identify. It's not just meaningful to Katniss and Peeta that they gain the safety and healing to enjoy physical intimacy together, it's meaningful for the reader to see that, too.

[http-finnick]

𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 - 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐫

finnick odair x fem!reader

cw: teasing, sexual jokes, flirting, just a fun drabble.

request: still feel like asking requests is weird but i rly like ur blog so🚶 Could you do a Finnick Odair x Reader were they meet/actually talk for the first time in that scene where Finnick talks to Katniss in that horrible bare-chested outfit that makes him look like a draft and then he eats pure sugar like ew 💀 after having that weird interaction with her he comes over to us and introduces himself and is all flirty with the Reader and the Reader actually flirts back what totally startles him but hes into it and Katniss is just like ???

you stood in the tight gown as you brushed the horse's back with your fingers, thinking about how you wished to be out of your 9-inch heels and back home.

your reminiscing was cut short with a scoff so loud you could've mistaken it for the bell chime that was supposed to announce your descent into the capitols viewing

you turn to see two of the most iconic capitol celebrities out there, Katniss and Finnick. you watched as they chit-chatted (more like monotone fighting) when you couldn't help but almost scoff yourself at the atrocious thing Finnick's stylist put him in.

you must've stared too long because his dark green eyes met yours as he popped a sugar cube into his mouth before walking over to you

"Hey Y/n" he says, leaning on the carriage as you're still hung up on how he said your name so smoothly you almost mistaken him from back home

but there was no mistaking Finnick Odair from someone back home. no, not with how he looks, talks, and even that glare in his eyes that almost makes your knees weak.

that's because Finnick flirts to see how weak you are. to see how easy you are, not for sex. but for the game. for the kills.

"Finnick, was it?" you say playfully, about everyone knows who he is, especially someone who has been in the games before

he laughs before grabbing another sugar cube from his pocket and messing with his between his fingertips, his eyes lingered on your body and you couldn't help but feel tense

"last time I saw you, you definitely weren't wearing a dress like this" his eyes darken on you. curse your stylist for getting the tightest dress out there with a slit so high you walked like a stick to not show anything

"cant say the same for you, you seem to always have your tits out" you grin and he couldn't help but laugh at your banter, not everyone plays into him every often

"Hopefully next time you'll be the lucky one" now he's closer, staring you down as a grin slowly meets your lips

"Hopefully we don't have to wait till next time" you couldn't help but feel immediate satisfaction as a shocked look fills his eyes yet that ionic smirk stays plastered on his lips

"See you, ally" he winked before running off, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding as you look ahead to see Katniss giving you what you can only describe to be a "what the fuck was that" face

you shrugged before spinning on your heels to start the way up on the carriage.

and when you stood with your tribute going at high speeds with people screaming everywhere, you couldn't help but see some dark green eyes staring right at you.

an: ahhhh I missed you guys so much! I've been so busy so i haven't been able to get back into my thg mindset even tho I'm obsessed with it lmaooo. being brain-rotted with thg and just being by myself makes me more quiet and happy and but because of the holidays, it's made me have to be more talkative and hyper almost. I haven't had time alone until his moment and I look back at how I was before with shock and sadness because I want to go back to my bubble :((( you know how when you talk to people you have to pretend you care to be nice so you make up a fake you? that's how I feel right now by myself, and that would be fine if I was sad or mad but I'm so neutrally fake happy it hurts. it'll pass overtime but it's gonna be hard because i have to do it again tomorrow and for the rest of the week ((more family time)) like ahhh i wanna be my old self by myself lmao. anyway!!!!!!!!! Thank you for the request! it makes me so happy you like my blog sm and this was so fun to write!!! mwah ily! <3

[penny-hartzs]

On Peeta, Katniss and the importance of sex in their relationship post-war

The lovely @thepunkpanther asked me to expand on a take I posted as tags to her amazing gifset and I'm finally getting to it. Thank you for being interested!

While I consider the THG movies as one of the best book-to-film adaptations, especially in the YA genre, one of the biggest objections I personally have is the way they showed Peeta and Katniss before the final flash forward. In the books, Katniss makes it quite clear that the "you love me, real or not real?" moment they share is after her and Peeta have sex for the first time. In the movie however, we see them lying in bed fully clothed, while Katniss rests her head on his chest. While the scene is sweet and pure and aesthetically pleasing, I think it takes away a major part of Peeta and Katniss' relationship at that point: that is their physical intimacy and how I personally think sex plays a huge part of their life as survivors.

I say this because during the war, neither Peeta nor Katniss had ever slept with someone and had to exchange the first kisses of their lives in front of the cameras, as a way to win the games and stay alive. As they grow up and the horrors around them become bigger, both of them develop an intimate but not sexual relationship (sleeping together, embracing, holding hands etc) as a coping mechanism and that leads to Katniss in particular being startled when she discovers that her need to touch Peeta can also turn into a "different kind of hunger" meaning of course, sexual desire. When the war ends and she lets Peeta back into her life, she feels desire for him again, despite her horrible traumas, and when the two of them consummate their relationship, away from the cameras where it's nobody but them, she finally lets herself go and tells him she loves him. While these two have to deal with their losses, their guilt, their trauma and nightmares, sex is an entirely new thing in their lives that has no connection to ghosts from the past. It makes them feel closer to each other than they have ever felt before and, because it's an intense physical activity, leaves no room for their minds to wander to unpleasant places. And eventually, it leads to two children and a new hope that the future will be brighter than the past. SO, I truly think the movie should have found a PG-13 way to show that and it'll always bother me a little because Josh and Jen would have killed it.

[triassictriserratops]

For the, like, five people who share in these two special interests: CRAZY EX GIRLFRIEND SONGS THAT ARE APPLICABLE TO THG-VERSE MY CONTRIBUTIONS You Stupid Bitch → Katniss to herself after meeting with Hijacked!Peeta after Annie and Finnick's wedding. It Was A Shit Show → Lucy Gray to Coriolanus Snow after All Of The Horrors. Oh My God I Think I Like You → Katniss on the beach with Peeta Let's Have Intercourse → Gale to Katniss when he's literally trying to make a move on her while simultaneously telling her all about his other sexual exploits. @dancing-on-tiptoes'S CONTRIBUTIONS I Go To The Zoo → Coriolanus visiting Lucy Gray. I Have Friends → Katniss realizing Madge was her friend. I'm The Villain In My Own Story → The realization that Snow SHOULD have had but refused to!!! What A Rush To Be A Bride → Katniss playing up the wedding planning to the adoring public. Research Me Obsessively → Katniss and Peeta waching the previous Victors' tapes before the Quarter Quell After Everything I've Done For You (That You Didn't Ask For) → Haymitch talking to Katniss about saving her from the Quell. Haymitch: After all the things I did for you!!!! Katniss: THAT I DIDN'T ASK FOR The Sexy Getting Ready Song → Capitol Makeovers Settle For Me → Gale. Just Gale. I'm In A Sexy French Depression → Katniss finding nap/dissociation spots in the bowels of District 13. Strip Away My Conscience → All those fic where Hijacked!Peeta FUCKS Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too → PEETA BOB MELLARK Getting Bi → PEETA BISEXUAL MELLARK His Status Is... Preferred → Haymitch about Effie What U Missed While U Were Popular → Somehow this is Katniss picking Wiress and Beetee for allies. Etta Mae's Lament → MAKE PEETA SING THIS LIKE NATHANIEL DID. @vasilissadragomir'S CONTRIBUTION Period Sex → Post MJ when Katniss gets her cycle back.

[peakyswritings]

🎃 (jack-o’-lantern) - What is your character’s greatest fear? Is it something primal like the dark or something specific like killer clowns? Did they gain this fear after a bad experience? Whatever it is, why are they scared of it? 🍑 (peach) - What are your character’s thoughts on sex if they have any? What is their sexuality? What is their sex life like? Do they even have one? For THG! Nina, please? 🖤

Thank you so much for sending this, Lauren!🤍

🎃 (jack-o’-lantern) - If we’re talking about primal fears, after the Games there’s not much Nina is scared of. Like death is the most primal of fear, and she defeated it in some sense, so all the rest is nothing in comparison. If we’re talking about “silly” fears - chickens. They’re just the Devil to her, even though she doesn’t have a bad experience with them. But it’s not like she needs a bad experience to fear them, they chase - and sometimes attack - unprovoked. That’s enough for her.

🍑 (peach) - For THG Nina, at least at the point where she’s now, sex is a big no. Being sold that one time was enough for her to reject intimacy and men in general. She only feels comfortable with men she trusts, like her father and brothers and Alfie. I’m making a little spoiler here, but this will change with Tommy. With him she’ll be able to take back her sexuality, and feel like she has control over her body again. And this is important, because in every universe Tommy is her exception, not her “rule”. He’s the only person she’d have sex with.

Orange asks🍊🧡

[memes-saved-me]

One thing I always liked about THG is that none of the teen characters are sexualised or even have sex. Older tributes are revealed to be forcefully prostituted and probably were from teenagers but Katniss and Peeta aren't. In so many young adult stories the teenage characters are all fucking each other and yeah teenagers do that but some don't and its kinda nice to have Katniss have other properties and not sleep with either Gale or Peeta until obviously she is older and has kids. I don't personally read her as ace but more of a traumatised girl who needs to feel safe to go there but I fully get why people do and love that people connect with that. Also the fact Peeta loves Katniss the way he does just from knowing her. No sexual relationship needed for him or Gale to want her. Like that is just nice and a breath of fresh air.

[evita-shelby]

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much? 16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like? 41. What would they do if they lost the other? For THG!Jack and Eva, please! 🖤

Thanks for the ask!!! 🖤🖤

4: Jack strangely does as i picture him to be very affectionate with those he cares, and is less afraid of consequences than Eva. A slight contrast with canon!Jack who is very affectionate only in private because he has an image of sexist asshole to keep.

16: they do!!! Though in this universe its just their name initial on their ankles where not many can see them so no one knows they exist until maybe d13 or if i make up a reason for them to take off their shoes lol

41: these two heavily traumatized people would resort to suicide if the other died, like after Gina's death in the 73rd games neither is in the right headspace to cope with loss even if they have Laurie to think of.

Now if they accidentally misplaced the other, a person of the opposite sex (or same sex since eva is bi) even thinks of the other in a romantic or sexual way the missing one will appear with a weapon in hand or a drink to conviently throw at said person

[xx-craftycreep-xx]

About me

Nationality: Indian

Age: Minor

Sex: Cisgender female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Favourite singers/bands: Arctic Monkeys• The

neighbourhood• Lana Del

Rey• Mr. kitty • Artemas•

Taylor Swift • Weeknd•

Many more.

Fandoms I like: Creepypasta • FNAF• TNMN •

THG• SW• Resident Evil

[kittywritesfics]

🌾 a homecoming, a rebirth

with nowhere else to go, single, pupped omega thg finds a home on alpha ygi’s farmland

🏷️ a/b/o, angst, strangers to lovers, social ostracism, mpreg, slow burn, competence kink, explicit sexual content, tender pregnancy sex, 9k

[anulithots]

#better than divergent 100% there is zero competition between those two#better than the popular YA books nowadays#not to be a prude but i can’t get past the weird overtly sexual tension scenes or full on sex scenes#also#i was OBSESSED over thg at 12#it’s so easy to fall back into that rhythm#it was my childhood#cristie rants yet again#the hunger games

YYYAAYYY NO SEX OR SMUT SCENES AS JUST FLUFF WHOOPDEWOOP! (I'm one of those asexuals who avoids smut if possible)

AND YAYYYYY IT HAS DEPTH AND MEANING AND I"M SOOOO EXCITED TO READ IT!!!

(Also it's written in first person apparently and it's been so LONG since I've read something in first person. It has everything.)

And after going to fanfics for a while and loosing access to libraries and bookshops for a bit, wanting to find a good YA series has been difficult because some of them are quite... unnecessarily adult-ish with little to no substance. SO THIS IS SURE TO GIVE DOMPAMINE BECAUSE IT'S EVERYTHING I LOVE AND IT MAY COMPETE WITH ROTTMNT IN TERMS OF FANDOM OBSESSION AND THAT IS SAYING A LOT.

Katniss describing Peeta:

“Medium height, stocky build, ashy blonde hair that falls in waves over his forehead.”

“For the first time, I look at him and realize that ablaze with the fake flames, he is dazzling.”

“He looks so clean and healthy and beautiful.”

“Then Peeta’s there looking handsome in red and white, pulling me off to the side.”

“I like to watch his hands as he works, making a blank page bloom with strokes of ink…”

“I also become a little fixated on his eyelashes, which ordinarily you don’t notice because they’re so blonde. But up close, in the sunlight slanting in from the window, they’re a light golden color and so long I don’t see how they keep from getting all tangled up when he blinks.” (girl you’re obsessed)

“My eyes travel up to where the flames licked across his forehead, singeing away his brows but just missing his eyes. Those same blue eyes that used to meet mine and then flit away at school. Just as they do now.”

Katniss describing Gale:

“Gale does look striking in the uniform, I guess.”

[penny-hartzs]

completely unrelated to our private conversation about questionable relationships on tv: what were your emotional support ships as a teenager? 🥰

This is a questionable and somewhat basic list, be warned:

Ron and Hermione It's weird to think about now, because everything HP related has been tainted for life when JKR revealed her evil self but I was so obsessed with these two as a teen and a pre-teen. The book version especially was filled with such sweetness and friendship and teasing and I'll always be bitter that the movies took away so much of their story and Ron's character.

Rory and Jess I realise I might not feel like this were I to watch Gilmore Girls as an adult but the absolute GRIP these two had on me at like fifteen and sixteen can not be explained, I was literally obsessed with them like I read my first ever fan fic because of them and Jess was my first sexual awakening. I remember seeing him and wondering WHAT ARE THESE FEELINGS I'M FEELING? WHY AM I SWEATING SO MUCH?

Sawyer and Kate Listen, these two had insane chemistry and one of the best sex scenes on television and no one will ever convince me they weren't supposed to be endgame before LOST got extended and the writers started coming up with storylines out of their ass

Monica and Chandler My most wholesome ship, always. It's interesting that FRIENDS figured out a way to write a fantastic couple everybody loved without breaking them up even once, but every sitcom writer ever since somehow forgot.

Peeta and Katniss Truth be told, I was in my early twenties when I read THG but i have to include them here because they're so formative anyway and I'm so glad people still love them as much as they did back then. Also Jackie and Hyde but I pretend that never happened for obvious reasons

[lorata]

Okay this might be a little too spicy to ask, so feel free to ignore, but do you have any THG fanfic/fandom characterization/headcanon pet peeves? Aside from I assume one-note Careers. Mine is the way people erase the mentorship bond! I see so much Finnick stuff especially where he tells the writer’s chosen lover for him that they’re the “only one who sees the real him,” and I’m always like, hello, MAGS???

oh hard agree, plus I'm not a super fan of that even without the mentor thing. like don't get me wrong I love a good, codependent fictional relationship that would be absolutely destructive in real life (delicious) but everyone should have more than one person. there can be MULTIPLE codependent relationships! codependent fractal! a weird group of people with a weird shared experience that nobody else can hope to understand. FEED ME THAT LIKE SKITTLES.

(don't come for me about my fictional preferences. leave me and the fellowship ALONE)

on a similar note I also used to get tired of how everyone made all the mentors sexually and/or romantically involved with their victors (like Beetee/Wiress, Brutus/Enobaria or Finnick/Annie where he's her mentor, whoever.) like no shade to people who read or write it BUT I feel like there was a weird period where no one could envision ANY close relationship without writing it into a pairing. Maybe it's my aroace coming to the surface but I got a bit grumpy. So I wrote an endless permutation of complicated, intense relationships with absolutely no sex or romance aspect. what are ya gonna do about it!

one of my less controversial peeves is "peeta starts out dating glimmer who is vapid and promiscuous and cheats on him so he can get together with katniss who is perfect" like an early taylor swift song. it was E V E R Y W H E R E for a while. if there was a modern AU, Peeta was dating Mean Bitch Glimmer and she'd get her comeuppance around the end of Act I. why. please. one of Katniss' actual, literal, canon character arcs is realizing Glimmer was a person who was forced to act the way she was (her interview dress chosen by her adult stylist was SEE-THROUGH) and she died, alone, for an audience who immediately forgot she existed. and you're gonna "not like other girls" her for your wish-fulfillment barista AU. cool.

on the other end of the scale -- and this is a very personal trigger, so I don't blame anyone for liking it -- the District 5 repro girls / thin girls fanon that was rampant in 2012-2014 fanfic. a bunch of people incorporated it into their stuff but it is such a violent, visceral nope for me that if a story uses it I close the tab immediately.

characterization-wise, there is a fic i still see floating around where rue makes me scream. listen. rue is the oldest of 6 kids AND her father died when she was even younger than katniss. she has been working full time to support her family in a job where you are literally murdered for mistakes since she was nine years old. rue is calculating and intelligent, she tells katniss that peeta is "okay" when she knows he's bleeding to death because if katniss realizes he's dying she'll leave. PLEASE. respect the hustle, the girl is not naive.

ok you did say spicy so i will give you ONE (1) hot take. it drives me bananas when fanfic uses Cato Hadley and Clove Kentwell. they first appeared on wattpad in 2010, when fandom tossed a few names around for a while and hadley and kentwell were the ones that stuck. but IT'S NOT THEIR REAL LAST NAMES STOP ADDING THEM TO THE WIKIS AND TELLING PEOPLE IT'S CANON AAAAAAAAA.

there's my one petty hunger games post, lol. i am pretty live and let live, generally if I don't like something I scroll past or filter it out. the annoyance happens when it's stuff like, trying to read fic about Careers and the first page of results is just them background tagged in an ensemble fic about the main characters -- but that's a minor character in juggernaut fandom problem, that's EVERYWHERE. i do the "search within results summary: name" trick to solve that