#I'm under 200 lbs!

[mysdrymmumbles]

Got me a new hoodie!

[fanartist666]

TW: Discussion of needles, phobias and blood Reader can be anyone, tried to be as gender neutral as possible, just rambling tbh, Price is a big soft baby and needs to be coddled when he isn't spoiling you

I headcanon this man as being scared of needles.

Hear me out, going by Barry's height Price is like 6'3, and just look at the size of him! Yeah he has Ser Harwin Strong vibes and absolutely would beat the shit out of anyone that ever insulted you and he kills people. But imagine if he was unreasonably scared of it, and it gets worse around you.

Not because you're bad for him, or you make him feel unsafe, but the opposite. His walls come down around you, and you make him feel the safest he's ever felt, so instead of gritting his teeth and hyperventilating a little (shutting down very mildly) but getting himself through it when he's away, he's got the safety to express his actual terror around you.

You go with him to get blood drawn, or a vaccination, and the phlebotomist comes out and asks if you can come in because your fucking bear of a husband is bouncing off the walls because he can't handle it.

It wasn't until ten had passed that you suspected there might be something wrong. Maybe he'd passed out, you thought with a soft snort at the absurdity of the idea. John wasn't squeamish, but it shouldn't have taken this long, surely?

"Alright luvvie, see you in a min." John said, kissing your forehead as he left to step into a little consult room. Shouldn't be long, he was going to take you for coffee afterwards, so you took out your phone and crossed your legs in the waiting room chair. The same weird, NHS logo blue and white tones in seemingly every hospital with the sickly green floors. You wrinkled your nose slightly at the stench of antiseptic stinging at the inside of your skull and settled for a five minute wait.

Just as you raised your head to glance at the clock, the door John had walked through opened, and a nurse stuck her head out.

"Is there a (Y/N) Price here?" You stood up immediately, mouth going dry at the thought that something could have gone wrong. It was only a blood sample, what the hell could have happened?

"Yes, yes that's me- is everything alright?" You asked, squeezing your phone so tight your knuckles were going white.

"No need to worry! We're just having a little trouble, would you be able to come in?" You nodded and followed her in. Your eyes landed on your very embarrassed, jumpy husband.

"John?" You asked, coming closer to him but he kept his eyes fixed on the floor.

"I don't like needles." He mumbled as you took his hand, immediately feeling his weight against your shoulder. "Apparently when I'm home, I can't cope so well."

"Oh John... Sweetheart, you could've told me." You said, kissing his cheek and taking his massive shoulders under your arms as he pressed his hot, red face into your neck.

And that was how you wound up with your 6'3 200+lbs husband half in your lap, stroking his hair and holding his hand while he had his blood sample taken, and walked out hand in hand. In return for your silence, he bought you a pastry, which you accepted, but promised him wasn't needed. Inwardly you were actually pleased that he felt safe enough with you near him to not force down his fears, to express them and by extension, himself.

If the 141 boys ever saw him with you they'd hardly recognise him, he's the same guy, his personality never changes, but he's a hundred times more expressive in every way.

idk this just kinda poured outta my head lmao

[justwhisperingfantasies]

Girl at the rock show

Characters: Jensen Ackles (xreader). Steve Carlson. Mentions of other bandmates. Made up bffs.

Warnings: Language, Fluff, Drinking, Ended abusive/controlling relationship. Let me know if I forgot any.

Summary: You move to Austin, Texas after you caught your controlling ex-boyfriend with another girl. Your best friend drags you out to a live show on your first night there.

Word count: 5.901 words

A/N: I'm kinda nervous about this one. My first Jensen fic. Hope ya'll enjoy it. 💗

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Come on, We can’t be late?” Mac Yelled from the front door. 

“I'm coming” You yelled back, shoving your I.D. and debit card in your pocket. You took one last look in the mirror above your new dresser. Not too shabby you thought to yourself and walked out your bedroom door. 

Mac let out a whistle as you walked toward her. 

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down, it's a flannel and some jeans.” 

“Um, a tight pair of jeans that hugs those hot curves and an unbuttoned flannel, yes you have an undershirt on,” she said when you opened your mouth to rebuttal. “But the girls still look nice.” 

“Do we really have to go out my first night here? I just got off a plane 5 hours ago,” you said as she hurried you out the door. 

“Yes. One I have been wanting you to check out this band and they don’t play many live gigs. Two. You need fun right now. And ya know what they say is the best way to get over someone.”

“Mackinley Jane! I’m not interested in finding anyone right now,” you said approaching the opposite side of the Uber backseat as her.

“(y/n) I’m not saying go off and get married. I’m saying a night of fun won’t kill you.” she winked. You both plopped in the back seat. She gave the driver the address of the bar. “It's been 3 months and not to be harsh, but do you really think he’s sitting home alone crying over you right now?” her words stung a little. He was probably with the girl you found him with. Or out finding a new one to control. You still couldn't believe you wasted 5 years on that asshole. 

“You’re right. But I highly doubt my night will end under someone new. “ you said the last part in a mocking tone. 

“Just promise that if someone does catch your eye you will give them a chance.”

“No promises, but I will try.”

“I’ll take it.” It was only an 8-minute drive from the apartment to the bar. It took about 10 minutes with traffic. “ You can just drop us on this side street. Thank you.” Mac said handing the driver some cash. You got out and walked around the car meeting her as she got out. 

“I thought you said this band wasn’t that big. Look at this place.” You said as put your arm in hers walking to the back of the line. 

“Well they aren’t selling out the garden, but one of the lead singers is Jensen Ackles.” You gave her a puzzled look. She put her palm to her forehead. “The guy from supernatural? “ Your face didn't change “Big Sky?” You shook your head “The boys? Tracker?”

“Just got out of a 5-year relationship with a controlling douchebag remember?” 

“You haven’t seen pictures or anything?” She whipped her phone out and started googling, 

“Mac! (y/n)!!” you looked up as you heard the familiar voice yell your name. It was Zoey. Mac’s ex-room-mate. She just bought a house and moved out of the apartment. That's what sparked this whole move to a new city idea. Mac put her phone back in her pocket and hugged Zoey. 

“Damn (y/n) you look good,” Zoey said hugging you. “Is this what happens when you drop 200 lbs of loser?” you chuckled. 

“Have you looked in the mirror, Ms little black dress?” you said hugging her back. 

Mac cleared her throat and did a little hair flip with her blonde curls. “Mac you know you always look good my dear,” Zoey remarked. “I’ll meet you guys in there. I don’t wana ditch.” There was only one guy behind you and he insisted Zoey stay where she was. 

You guys got up to the door and you could hear the music. “How much time do we have before they go on?” Mac asked. 

“About 30 minutes,” Zoey said looking at her watch. 

You made your way into the bar. It was a lot bigger than what it looked from the outside. The was a bar on the wall to the right. A decent-sized stage on the wall to the left and a big dance floor between you and the stage. Straight ahead there was a joined room with pool tables. Mac noticed you looking at the tables. “ I don't think we have enough time for a game right now, but after the show?”

“Sure.” It had been so long since you played you probably sucked at it now. James wouldn’t play with you. He said you cheated so there was no point. 

“Come on let’s start drinking,” Mac said as she grabbed your and Zoey’s hands and headed for the bar. 

“Start?” you heard Zoey say. 

Mac handed the bartender her card and started a tab. She turned to you.” Don’t give me that look, we can split it or you guys can pay me back tomorrow. Bud light bottle?” You nodded. “Of course.” she winked. She handed Zoey her drink then you, your beer. Her eyes had been scanning the room since you walked in. 

“Who are you looking for?” You asked her. 

“ The band has been known to have a drink at the bar before their shows. Just thought we’d get lucky.” You rolled your eyes turning to see if there was a table open. 

“Mac there’s a table open come on.” she grabbed her drink and the girls followed you. You made small talk and gossiped waiting for the show to start. You downed the last of your beer. You must have been nervous or something because you finished way before your friends. “I'm gonna go grab another beer,” you said standing.

“Hurry up. They are about to start.” Mac yelled as you walked away.

You made your way up to the bar and stood there waiting for your turn. The bartenders were slammed. 

You leaned against the bar as you ordered. Waiting on your drink your eyes wandered to the left side of the bar, finding the deepest mossy green eyes you had ever seen looking back at you. He was gorgeous with his shaggy brown hair and trimmed beard. Cut off shirt showing off his muscles and tattoos He gave you a flirty nod and you felt your cheeks get warm. Just then someone walked up beside you.

“Hey there beautiful, can I buy you a drink?” the guy was cute, but you had no interest after seeing green eyes across the bar. 

“No thank you..” you kept it short hoping he would take the hint. You looked over at green eyes. He was watching the two of you curiously. 

“Oh come on sweetheart.” 

“Again no.  I'm not interested.” green eyes could tell you were uncomfortable so he made his way over to you. 

The man couldn't take the hint and put his hand on yours. “ Not interested?”

“Yep, that's what she said. Why don't you get your drink and move along.” his voice was deep and angelic. 

“ I am so sorry!” he grabbed his drink and rushed off. Was he really that scared? It's not like green eyes had threatened his life or anything.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”  He smiled. You could feel the butterflies in your stomach stir up. “So you ready for the show?” 

Yeah. I guess so. To be honest I don’t really know the band. My friend dragged me here tonight.” He raised an eyebrow. “ She thinks they’re really good. Although she's just obsessed with one of the lead singers” You took a drink and told yourself to shut up. 

He flashed a smile and leaned just slightly closer to you. The butterflies got bigger. “She must have good taste.” He chuckled. 

Just then the band members came out on stage. Everyone went crazy. One of the guys walked up to 1 of the 2 mics center stage. “Jensen, gonna need you to come to the stage there buddy.” 

“Missing one of the lead singers already.” He said laughing with the crowd. 

“Yea he's probably in the back with a groupie,” you chuckled. 

“Or flirting with a smoking hot babe.” he laughed louder. “I gotta go, but find me after the show okay?” 

You heard Mac's lecture again in your head. You nodded. He smiled and started walking toward the dance floor. You could definitely have a fun night with him or many fun nights... 

You started walking back to the table you froze in place and your jaw hit the floor as he climbed onto the stage. What. The. Fuck.

Green eyes stood at the open center mic. “Alright, Steve I’m here. How’s everyone doing tonight?” The crowd cheered. They introduced themselves and started playing. 

“Mac, who is that guy?” you pointed at him. 

“Babe, that is Jensen Ackles.”

“Like Thee Jensen ackles?” you asked dumbfounded. 

“Yes, Do you wana to find a closer spot with us?” She said looking at you. “What’s with you?”

“Yeah, sure.” you grabbed your beer and explained what just happened to her on the way. “But I’m sure he was just being nice. He saw how uncomfortable the other guy made me and helped a girl out right.”

They continued playing. And they were good. Like really good. It should not be humanly possible to be that damn good-looking and have a voice like that. But there he was. 

“I don’t know. He said to find him after the show. Why say that if he didn't mean it?” she said not taking he eyes away from the stage. 

You rolled your eyes. “He was just being nice, We can stick around and play some pool, but I am not getting my hopes up.”

“Whatever you say.” she swayed and grabbed you making you sway with her. 

“Plus isn’t he married?” 

“Why do you care you're not getting your hopes up?” She smiled and raised her eyebrows. “But they got a divorce a little over a year ago.” 

“I don’t and I’m not.” She gave you a yeah-right look and started spinning you around. Zoey was being spun around too by a hot guy with tattoos and a fohawk. She did like her bad boys. 

The song ended. “ Man, we are burning through them tonight huh? We only have 4 songs left?” Jensen said to Steve. 

“What are you talking about we aren’t even halfway through.”

“Look.” Jensen pointed to his monitor. Steve stepped closer, tapped it a couple of times, and then they both started laughing. “Whoops I skipped ahead a little bit.”

“A little bit?” Steve asked taking off his guitar. “You good?”

Jensen chuckled. “Yeah. This one’s called Forever Ain’t Long.”

The crowd cheered. Mac put her arm around you and you leaned your head against hers. “Are you having fun?” she asked.  You nodded. “Good!”

“Take me to heaven or wherever you're from…” Jensen and Steve started singing as he looked in your direction. Your heart melted in your chest. Oh crap so much for not getting your hopes up…

They played for a good while. “I think we are going to invite someone back up to the stage,” Jensen said 

“We are?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah look.” Jensen pointed to his monitor again, 

“Haha oh yeah.”

“I'm gonna take a break guys, get a drink, maybe towel off. But I’d love to invite Mr Santana Roos back to the stage and play trumpet for ya’ll.” He walked off the stage.

The band continued playing. Steve had a great voice too. Moments later you felt a hand on the small of your back. You turned with your hand in a fist and saw those piercing green eyes. You dropped your hand and he dropped his. “Sorry didn’t mean to startle you.” You heard two gasps coming from behind you. He chuckled. “Hello, ladies.” He said as he looked at Mac and Zoey. They giggled.

“This is Mack. “ Mack put her hand out as you pointed. Jensen shook it. “And this is Zoey.” She put her hand out and shook his. They giggled again. You rolled your eyes and apologized.

“It’s alright,” he said chuckling. He put his hand out to you “ And your name is?”

“(y/n)” You took his hand in yours, electricity flowing up your arm as you touched his skin. 

“Jensen.”

“Well obviously. And you let me ramble on about not knowing the band.” your hand is still in his. 

He chuckled. “It was cute.” Cute? You thought, The butterflies stirring again. “You wanna get a drink?”

You nodded and you told Mac you’d be right back. He twisted your hand and laced his fingers through yours. The butterflies got bigger. Walking through the crowd everyone was taking pictures and he stopped to snap a selfie with a couple of them, but he never let go of your hand. You guys made your way back to the bar. “Bud light Bottle?”

“Yes, please.” He got your drinks and you two walked over to the side of the bar. 

“You enjoying the show?” he asked then took a drink. 

“Eh, They are ok I guess. “

“Ok you guess?” he said smiling. Then took another drink.

“The trumpet player is kinda hot.” He threw his head back and laughed.  

“I can give you his number if you want.” He winked. 

“No thanks. I got my eye on someone else” you winked back. You could swear his cheeks got pink. 

“I gotta get back up there. You still wanna hang out after?”

“I’ll be around.”

“Looking forward to it.” He took your hand and walked you back up to Mac.

“Giirrrrrl!!!” Mac said after he walked away. 

“Shut up.” You said as you started to sway again with her. The song stopped and Jensen came back out on the stage. 

“Hey Steve, “ He said as he returned to the mic. “ I asked a pretty lady if she was enjoying the show.” your cheeks got hot “ Ya know what she said?”

“Hopefully she said yeah.” Steve chuckled. 

“She said Eh the bands ok I guess.” Steve gave him a come-on look. “I know, What do you say we kick it up a notch and do drowning?” The crowd lost their minds as Steve started playing it. 

Mac looked at you” ok you guess?!”

You opened your mouth to respond, but your attention snapped to Jensen as he started singing. He was looking you dead in the eyes. Everything and Everyone just drifted away. “Let’s keep it going with the sound of someday.” He looked at Steve and then back at you. The crowd screamed even louder. Again you were entranced. 

“Well buddy since you are on a roll,” Steve said as he started playing another song. The crowd cheered again. You felt kind of jealous you didn't know any of the songs. 

“She wants to know the name of the games he plays..” He was looking at you again. 

Mac leaned into your ear. “How’s those hopes doing?”

“He wants the names of the players in the game to change..”

“Not as low as I want them to be.” You confessed. 

“He's young in years but wise in wonderful ways…”

“One night of fun?” She asked raising her eyebrows. 

“Her faith in love is better on sunny days…”

“We’ll see. Now shush” She smiled but stayed silent. 

The audience cheered again once the song ended. 

Steve looked at Jensen smiling. “Are you done showing off now, Jay?”

“Not even close,” Jensen said chuckling. 

They played for a while more, and then they finished up. Everyone started yelling encore. Steve and Jensen came back out. They played an acoustic song together, and then the whole band came back out and played another. The crowd cheered, and eventually, everyone calmed down and started clearing out. 

“So, you going to find him?”Mack asked you

“No. We are gonna play some pool. I told him I’d be around.” you tried to play it cool, but your nerves were going wild. “I’ll go get us a pitcher and you guys go get a table.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Zoey said. The two of them headed for the pool table room. You made your way up to the bar. You ordered a pitcher and asked for some glasses. You held out your bank card to the bartender. “Uh, Mr Ackles said that all of your drinks were on him tonight.” Really?! No way that was happening you thought. 

“Here just charge it to my card. I’ll deal with Mr Ackles later.”

She ran your card and then gave it back to you. “Here ya go,” she said sliding the tray with the pitcher and some glasses on it. 

“Thank you,” you said taking it and she nodded.

You made your way over to the table in the back where Zoey was ranking up the balls. You sat the tray down and started pouring a beer in three glasses. “You guys wanna play cutthroat?”

“Hm.. Or Mac and I vs you,” Zoey said as she finished the rack. 

“How is that far?” you argued handing her a beer. 

“Oh come on we could get a third and you’d still probably win,” Mac said taking the glass you were handing out to her. 

“Fine, but I break.”

You lined up the shot after picking out your cue and chalking the end of it. You sank the 6 and the 15. You around walking over to your next shot. Your heart sank a little when you didn't see Jensen or any of his bandmates around. Not getting my hopes up you thought to yourself. There was a good shot for the 12 ball so you took it. Then you walked around the table not letting yourself look anywhere else you to your next shot. You missed. Mac managed to get 2 of their balls in before missing. You put another 2 balls in. You went to take your next shot when a commotion at the bar ruined your concentration and you missed. 

“Damnit,” you said as you looked out to the bar. Your heart fluttered when you saw him. He was talking to the bartender. She pointed in your direction and he turned. He smiled as his eyes found you.

“Calm down, you're still winning,” Zoey said walking over to the cue ball.  You walked over to the table and took a drink of your beer. 

“Really?” she said as she picked up her glass. 

“What?”

“I see you.” you squinted your eyes at her. Zoey got one ball in but missed the second shot “You're up.”

You took a deep breath and headed back over to the table. You weren't sure if you were gonna be able to focus on the game right now. Somehow you managed to get a ball in. You let yourself look up as you walked around to your next shot. He was still at the bar, the band happily taking selfies with fans. How sweet you thought. You tried to focus on your shot. 

“See I freaking told you !” Mac said as you put another ball in. “ 2 vs 1 and I still can’t beat you!” you laughed. 

You put your last ball in but missed on the 8. Mac passed you on your way to the high top with a smile on her face. She looked at you then behind you. You turned around and Jensen was headed your way with a big grin on his face. You couldn't help but smile back. He was holding a try with 2 pitchers full of beer. Steve was behind him with glasses in his hand. Three other bandmates followed they also had a pitcher and glasses. They walked over to the open pool table beside yours. 

“Hey, sorry it took forever. We had to go over some things and fans. I have a hard time telling them no.” he said as he sat down the pitchers.

You clicked your tongue. “ I guess I'll give you a pass this time, Ackles.” You said smiling. He smiled back and swirled his body in Steve’s direction. 

“This is Steve. Steve this is (y/n)” 

Steve put his hand out and you shook it “ Ah the pretty lady that thinks we’re ok she guesses.” he smiled. You chuckled. 

You felt Mac behind you. “This is Mac “ You turned and they shook hands. “That’s Zoey.” she got a ball in and came around to shake Steve's hand. 

“Cutthroat?” he asked. 

“No, they combined forces to try to take me down,” you explained. 

Zoey missed her shot. “And we are still going to lose.”

You walked over and called your shot. Everyone was watching which made you nervous, but you still got the ball in. 

Zoey walked over to the table and poured herself another beer. “Damn, I hate this game.” She took a drink. “ You guys can have it.” She made her way over to the other bandmates. 

“Wanna play doubles?” Jensen asked taking a drink. 

“2 conditions.” Mac said “ You rack and I get (y/n)”

“Deal.” Jensen got the rack out and started putting balls in. Steve started walking to the shelves where the cues were “ Hey, grab me one please?” Steve nodded. 

“You break,” you said to Mac as she checked out Jensen who was bent over the pool table getting the balls.  

“Only if you break that,” she said raising her eyebrows. 

“Mackinley.” She rolled her eyes and went to the head of the pool table. You walked over to the high-top table and took a drink. 

Steve walked back holding only one stick. “Uh, sorry Jay this was the last one.” Jensen turned to you and stuck his lip out walking over to you. Then stood beside you still looking at you with his lip still out.  

You sighed “I guess I can share.” 

He chuckled. “How nice of you” matching your playful attitude as he nudged your arm. You smiled. “So I take it you're kind of good at this game?” he asked. 

“Eh, I'm alright.” 

“Alright, you boys ready to lose?” Mac said as she leaned over and broke the rack. Everyone laughed. It was a good break, but no balls went in. Jensen gestured for Steve to go.

“That's what happens when you talk shit,” Steve said, lining up his shot and sinking the 6 ball in. 

You turned to sit your beer down and leaned toward Jensen as he took a drink “Well I guess you got small balls, bud.” He choked on his drink. You laughed and turned back around. Steve missed his shot. “Guess I’m up,” you said and walked over to take your shot.

“You good?” Steve asked, picking up his beer. 

“Yep, just heard something I wasn't expecting.” Steve raised his eyebrows and Jensen told him the joke you told. 

“Damn, she’s spunky huh?” Steve said laughing. 

“She’s somethin’.”Jensen smiling at you as you got a ball in. 

You got 3 more balls in. AC/DC You shook me at night long came on the radio overhead. You started tapping your foot and mouthing the words as you took your next shot. You missed. “Damnit.”

“ You done?” Jensen asked as he put his hand out for the cue. You scrunched your nose and poked your tongue out at him then continued singing. He laughed. 

“I’m just getting warmed up, bud,” he laughed and you gave him the stick. You walked back over to the table. Mac and Steve were talking about the first album he and Jensen wrote.

“You wanna sit and take a break after all that?” Steve asked, smiling and pointing at his chair. 

“Ha, No I’m good.” You turned around in time to watch a ball go in. 

“I told you she was good,” Mac said.

You rolled your eyes. “I'm not that good.”

Jensen sank 3 more balls before Missing. 

“But it looks like she might have met her match.” She said winking at you as she passed Jensen. 

He furrowed his brows and tilted his head. He stood next to you so close you could almost feel his arm on yours. 

“Ignore her. Just talkin’ shit like always.” You said loud enough for her to hear making her laugh. 

Mac took her shot and got one ball, but missed the next shot. “Well, she didn't leave me anything to shoot at,” Steve said as he got up and looked around the table for a good shot. 

“That’s kind of the point.” you heard Mac say as she and Steve started bantering. He lined up for a jump shot. 

“Ohhh, Steve’s getting fancy.” You said in a silly tone causing him and Jensen to laugh.  

“So, she likes AC/DC, Bud Light, and she’s a pool shark who thinks radio company is Eh, ok.” Jensen said shrugging his shoulders which put a grin on your face “And hates supernatural.”

You put a finger up “ I never said that I hated it, I've just never watched it..”

“Explain to me.” He said He put his chin in between his thumb and index finger. Turning his head to look at you. “How do you have a best friend that's obsessed with the show yet you’ve never seen it?” 

“Well, There was a.. a complication,” He stopped with the playfulness and looked in your eyes. “ but it’s gone now. Plus I did just move to Texas. We talked all the time. Living in different states didn't take a huge toll on our friendship, but we didn't talk about TV or media much.” Steve missed his shot. “And this is where it ends, bud.” You reached for the cue he was holding. 

“Oh really?” He said putting the stick in his other hand. It was on the opposite side of you now.  “Why don’t we  make it a little more interesting then?”

“Ha, you got 5 grand on ya there pretty boy?” He let out a belly laugh and you swirled in front of him reaching for the stick. He extended his arm and leaned into your ear. 

“Actually, “ he whispered and your heart stopped as you felt his warm breath tickle your ear. “ I was thinking if we win I could get your number.” 

You don’t know where you found the courage maybe it was the four and a half beers you had. But you turned and whispered back in his ear. “And if we win?” 

You heard the small chuckle as his breath tickled again. “I’ll give you mine.” He stood back up smirking. You rolled your eyes and smiled at him. 

“Bet.” You stuck your hand out. He took it in his and shook it slowly, a smirk still on his face. He handed the stick you to. You took it and spun around. Focus on the game, Focus on the game you thought.  

“Wanna tell me what that was all about?” Mac asked quickly as she walked past you. You looked past her to Jensen. He had his back turned pouring another beer. Later you mouthed. She went to sit in the open chair at the high top. Chiming in on Steve and Jensen’s conversation. 

You sank the last 2 balls you and Mac had on the table. You didn't leave yourself a good shot for the 8 ball. There were 2 options. You weighted them for a couple of seconds. You went with one and called it. You stupidly looked up at Jensen who licked his lips and bit the bottom one. Your whole body went numb and you missed your shot. You put your forehead on your arm still leaning on the table and looked at the floor. 

“Took much beer there darlin’, “ Jensen asked approaching you. 

You raised your head squinting your eyes at him. “You know what you did!”

He gave a smirk. “I don’t know what you're talking about.”

You stood up and handed him the cue. “Cheater. You said and walked away. You heard him laugh, but you didn't look back. Two can play at that game Mr. Ackles you thought. You made your way back over to the high-top table and took a drink when you got there. Steve and Mac still sitting there, talking about the second album he and Jensen wrote. You nodded here and there, trying to listen for balls to go in. They were so enthralled in the conversation they didn't notice you inching a coaster toward the edge of the table. There’s one you said in your head. A minute later there’s the second. You knew he’d be going to the 8-ball now. You nudge the coaster off the table with your pinky. As you bent over to pick it up you hoped he’d be looking. You picked the coaster up and brought your top half back up slower than usage, but not too obvious. 

“Really Jay? How’d You miss that?” Steve stood up “ I’ll be right back. I got a song stuck in my head.” He headed for the jukebox. Jensen rolled his eyes and sighed walking up to the high top. 

“What?” Mac asked. 

“You wanna guess the song he’s gonna play? He does this to me every time we go out somewhere.” Mac giggled. And you stood there clueless. He turned to you. “ Well hi there kettle you’re black. Calling me a cheater.”

You gave him the same smirk he gave you earlier.” I don't know what you're talking about.” He smiled. Just then Carrying On My Wayward Son started playing. And you started singing it.

“Are you actually fucking kidding me right now?!” Jensens said looking at Mac gesturing to you with his hand. 

“What it’s a good song….” you said confused. 

“Please tell me ya’ll are fucking with me,”

“Sadly Jay we are not. She just likes the song.” Mac said as she got up to go take her shot. 

You started singing again and Jensen looked at you with bewilderment, “Can I help you?”

“This is the theme song of Supernatural” He shook his hands. 

You couldn’t help, but laugh. “ Ohh. It’s a good song.” He put his hand on his face and shook his head. You laughed again. 

Steve made his way back over. “Thanks, man,” Jensen said nodding at him.

“Yeah. No problem man.” Steve said grinning. 

Jensen turned back to “So back to the topic of Supernatural. It came on in 2005, Not to sound like an ass, but do you just not watch t.v or Netflix?

“2005? I was  Pre-Med. Not a lot of time for T.V.” you said and turned around to watch Mac miss the 8-ball shot. You closed your eyes. Game over, you knew Steve would probably make the last shot. 

“You’re a doctor?!” Jensen’s voice raised some.

“No.” you took another drink. He put his hands out palms up waiting for an explanation. “It’s a long story,” you said. He raised his eyebrows once and lowered his hands. Steve called the shot and made it. You turned back to the high top and started cleaning. Both pitchers were empty. “Wasn’t there 3 pitchers?”

“I gave the third one to the guys, I didn't know you ladies already got one.” He started to help you. 

You grabbed the empty pitchers and started walking. He followed you with the empty glasses. You guys handed the bartender the dishes. “Thanks, guys, Last Call?” she said taking them. Jensen looked at you.

“Come on, One more.” You looked over to Mac and Zoey who had made their way back to the pool room. Zoey was introducing the other bandmates to Mac. 

You sat on the stool in front of you. “ Ok Ackles, one more.” He nodded at the bartender and she got out 2 Bud Light bottles opened them and sat them in front of him. He handed you one and raised his for a cheers. You clinked the bottles and you both took a drink.

He sat down next to you and swirled in the chair to face you. 

“So This doctor story. Too long to share over a beer?”

“ Kind of “ Tonight was so fun, you didn't want to talk about all the depressing stuff. And that story was full of it. He nodded  “So Tell me about it over lunch tomorrow?”

Your cheeks got warm again. Just then Mac And Zoey Approached you guys. “Hey babes, we are gonna get one more with the band, k?” 

“Actually this groupie here is taking me on a tour of Austin tomorrow,” you said. 

“Oh did I not tell you? I can’t make it tomorrow. I’m sorry.” she winked at you and walked away. 

“Well apparently I’m free tomorrow,” you said raising your eyebrows and taking a drink. 

“Not anymore. Lunch? I can show you around after if you want.” 

“Eh, I guess.” you smiled. “I got nothing better do to.”

He laughed. “Do you always talk this much shit?” 

“Yep.” He chuckled again and took a drink. “So tell me about this Supernatural. Is it really worth all the hype?”

He smiled. “Why yes, yes it is. It’s about these two brothers.” He talked in a movie phone voice. 

You put your hand on his arm and laughed. “Trust me I’ve got the back of the DVD box description and more numerous times.” He laughed. 

“I don’t know how to answer that. Of course, I’m going to say it’s a great show, but I played Dean for 15 years. I have a love for his story that words can’t explain. He is part of me. I think you should at least give it a shot. It would definitely make Mac and Zoey super happy.”

You realized your hand was still on his arm and your cheeks turned pink as you drew it away leaning back. He must have noticed because he smirked and finished his beer. “ I might.”  you swished your beer only a drink or two left. 

The bartender came over the p.a. System announcing they were closing up in 5 minutes. You turned back to check on the girls. Everyone was getting up some more graceful than others. “Hey, I almost forgot. We made a bet.” He said as he stood up and slid his phone out of his pocket. He got it to the add new contact screen and handed it to you. You stood up and took it. 

“A bet is a bet,”  you said as you put your info in. 

Mac and Zoey passed you. “Uber’s outside (y/n) unless…”

You gave her a hard look. “I’m comin’”

“I’ll walk out with you.”

You guys made it outside and found your Uber. You pointed. He walked beside you so close your hands touched a couple times. You stopped when you got to the car and turned to him. He put his hand out “It was nice meeting you (y/n)”

“You too Jensen.” you took his hand. Stepping on your tip toes you leaned and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled the biggest smile of the night. You got in the car. He walked over and put his hand on the door. 

“Good night Mr Ackles. “ you said as you winked at him.

He shook his head and still smiling. “Good night Darlin.” He closed the door. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Part 2

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

If you'd like to be added to tag list click here 💜

[jd07201990]

"Coach.... I think we should quit it with the shakes for a while... I can't get my shirt down!"

I muttered, feeling every ounce of the 40 lbs I'd gained in just 2 months. I could feel the thick, pastelike protein shake churning in my belly, a dull roaring heat gradually oozing from my core, out to my chest, shoulders, waist, legs, and arms. The raw, itching tingle of energy, fuel pumping into my sore muscles up into taut, stretched masses. Despite wanting to play lacrosse, and maybe look good enough to get a date finally, I'd made a mistake when I asked Coach for help. 

I should have known better as I watched nearly all the incoming freshman boys suddenly grow into grunting, sweating behemoths. The Dorms I'd been assigned to just 3 months ago, meant for incoming Science and Math Majors, now resembled a Frathouse. With heaving, lumbering nerds slowly losing interest in Planets and Chemicals, as they packed themselves solid in the cafeteria and snacked all throughout the day. All of us were bulking up pretty fast, and it wouldn't have been so bad, if I was unaware like the rest of the dorm!

Despite my protest, Coach slapped my back, causing an enormous belch to erupt from me. I groaned, my calloused hand going to my gut as I suddenly felt as if I were starving, what little room that belch had opened, now amplified into an insatiable hunger. Coach smirked at me, pushing one of his snack bars into my hand. I tried so hard to shake my head, to deny caloric nuke in my hand, but I found myself opening the wrapper with my teeth, biting into it and closing my eyes as the feeling of hunger subsided. Clach chuckled, putting his hand on my taut, boulder-like shoulder.

"No can do, you know the rules! All coach’s boys need their required nutrition. Don't you want to be the best? You said you wanted this, didn't you?" He said with a sneer, looking my hefty, thick-piled bulk up and down before giving my half-melon sized pec a soft punch, feeling the solid muscle under the layer of fat all of Coach's boys seemed to develop.

By the end of the year, not a single Jock in school was less than 200 lbs. The school had to cut some funding from the Science Department to cover the near mountain of new clothes, specifically shirts and shoes, as none of us fit into our original gear. I for one, ended up an XXL, lumbering around the halls and the gym at a whopping 220lbs. The entire school seemed to reek of athlete, classes with more than 2 jocks, often had some students complaining about the funk, while the girls, and gay guys tried to hide their arousal. My shoes, which consisted of sneakers and cleats, were all now size 14s, with not a single pair in the school less than a 13w.

I tried at first to get used to the size, the weight, the routine of workouts, meals, barely any time for assignments, as the school and Coach seemed hellbent on ensuring the Sports Budget was going to good use. All of us were forced to play a sport, the teams now full of grunting, sweating, aggressive young bulls hopped up on redbulls and creatine. For me, I ended up playing Football. I wanted to play Lacrosse, but coach said I had the genes for some real size, and vetoed my choice. He says by the time he's through with me, I'll be the biggest Biology major in the school. He says its what's best for me but I know why he's doing it. Because I haven't broken down like the others. I still kept my mind, and as long as I have that, the sweat, the meals, the snacks, and the grueling workouts will continue. Coach never fails, some of the sponsors say while they're eyeing us all up and down like priced bulls on a ranch.

I don't know what happens after graduation, but I'm pretty sure Weston Ridgeway, an eccentric foreign millionaire who bankrolls the Football team, has his eye on me. Coach says Ridgeway tends to like his "interns" Big, Dumb, and insatiable... I don't know how long before I fit all 3. I'm already big, and my backpack is full of shakes and snack bars proves I'm insatiable... Coach says he's got 3 years to, as he puts it, "Raise me up good and proper"

[exitrowiron]

I probably see 2-3 articles everyday talking about the tsunami of prescriptions being written for the new semaglutide drugs (ex Wegovy and Ozempic). In case you've been living under a rock, these drugs were originally developed for type II diabetics, but they also can enable significant weight loss by slowing digestion and lessening appetite. There's a price to be paid, however. The drug has to be injected once a week, it can cause nausea and GI issues, it costs $1,500 a month and if you stop taking it the weight comes back!

Apparently this is just the first wave of a new class of weight-loss drugs and I'm not proud to admit that when I first started seeing these articles I had a negative reaction. After all, we already have the most expensive health care system in the world (with the some of the worst health measures). Are we really going to add this huge additional expense just because we can't eat right and exercise?

A recent trip to the hardware store changed my mind. As I was buying a can of spray paint, I noticed a well-stocked end-cap display with candy, chips, cookies, salty meats, etc. by the register. Let me repeat that... this was at a hardware store. The gas station convenience store is filled with more of the same. Fast food is on every corner. Processed food fills the grocery store. Everywhere we turn we are surrounded by delicious, salty, sweet, relatively inexpensive calories. These are foods that have been engineered to have great mouth feel. They come in attractive packages like mini presents. The smell good, look appetizing and taste great. And according to recent studies, eating these foods actually changes our brain to increase the likelihood of eating more (see the bottom).

This is no longer a fair fight. Our primate brains haven't evolved to resist 21st century food engineering. Semaglutide simply evens the odds.

I'm still wary of the cost of these drugs but I'm sure that relatively soon the price will go down, side-effects will be lessened and they will be available in a pill. Whether you want to lose 200 lbs. or 20 lbs. I don't think there's any shame in using these drugs. This isn't a fair fight.

[importanttragedycollection-stuff]

202.1 27.5. I'm still 4 lbs from the first measurement of my last gain cycle the last week of February. My 7 day average weight is over 200 now. My poor abs have not been trained in a while. All the food and under fat has pilled up. My thighs are starting to get pushed open when I sit. I love seeing when a girl sits pretty with her belly hanging on her lap. Now, I've almost done it to myself. Goals should be to stay steady at 5k a day with a single day allowed to go to my limit.

[pussyluvr2000]

my mother (on ozempic for diabetes): i feel bad telling y o u this, but I'm under 200 lbs for the first time in a long time

Me being the most gracious I've ever been in my entire life: congratulations mom i hope you're feeling better

[hotforharrison]

I've been exclusively posting new Harrison content and nothing about me personally for quite some time now, but I just kind of wanted to... talk to the void, I guess. It's been rough lately.

The end of December leading up to the shit show that was my birthday on New Year's Eve, and now into 2024, has not shown me any kindness.

Seeing my husband happily in love with his girlfriend while our marriage spirals around the drain into divorce has been really difficult, one of the hardest things I've gone through in my life.

He says that he wants to work things out and have both of us, which is what I want as well, but his actions speak differently most of the time.

She lives nearby and gets surprise cookies and hugs when she's feeling sad. On multiple occasions, I've gotten left alone in my room in tears.

They talk on the phone more in a single day than he and I did in the entire two weeks I was visiting my family out of state for my high school reunion.

I want so much to be in love and happy again, which I haven't been in quite some time. I'm not sure that it's going to happen with him as much as I want it to. I usually feel like we're on a sinking boat, and I'm trying to use a cup to throw out water to try desperately to keep it afloat, even though it's ultimately futile.

As per the marriage counselor's suggestion, we're being more intentional about our time together, like we're dating again.

Although I'm unable to leave the house right now for anything that isn't absolutely essential (I'll get to that in a minute), we've been having movie nights every Wednesday with phones put away and paying attention to the movie and each other.

We haven't done anything "special" together as a couple in what's honestly been years, and we're going to go to either Kemah Boardwalk or Galveston hopefully the week of April 15, depending on whether it's safe for me to walk that much at that point.

I'm not holding my breath that it's going to ultimately help us reconnect enough to improve things, but I'm hoping it's a step in the right direction of getting there.

We've been polyamorous since 2015, but I haven't dated or been looking for someone to date since 2016, or even just hook up with for that matter. My husband has had a number of girlfriends and partners over the years, which I'm completely fine with.

It's been a sort of mono-poly relationship for the past almost 8 years, but entirely by my own choosing. He didn't influence that at all and actually encouraged me to date again if it's what I wanted to do.

And I am going to go down that rabbit hole hopefully later this year, which is very nerve-wracking.

I know it's absolutely not a requirement for dating, and shallow people who would only date someone who is under a certain weight aren't great partners, but I want to lose a lot of weight before I start looking again. It will help me feel better about myself, and self-confidence is an attractive quality.

Right now, I honestly don't even want to be undressed in front of my husband who I started dating in 2007, so him seeing me undressed is nothing new. I view myself as "fat and disgusting," even though I've known women who weigh as much or more than I do right now who were very attractive and had no trouble dating.

My husband said I carry the weight very well and don't need to be down to some arbitrary number that I come up with to date again, which I wanted to be under 200. He asked how much I weighed when we started dating. I weighed around 260 then, and I understood his point.

I started actively trying to lose weight on September 22 of last year, because there's no reason to wait until some specific date like a New Year's resolution. September 22 was as good a day as any.

I was about 12 lbs shy of my highest weight ever, which was 352.8 lbs, at 340.6. As of January 16, I'd lost over 30 lbs since the end of September and weighed in at 307.1. I'm 5'9, so a tall girly, and my tentative goal is 175. It's subject to change based on my desired goal clothing size, which is a 10. (I don't want to stop shopping at Torrid, and they go down to a 10 at the lowest.)

Anyway, I broke my right leg and severely sprained my left ankle when I fell in a parking lot the day before Thanksgiving in 2022, which halted my weight loss efforts in 2022 and led to me regaining most of the weight I'd lost then.

The amount of damage I did to myself from just falling in a parking lot was pretty impressive. Ironically, I did not break the glass bottles of hard cider I was carrying, only myself.

The broken leg healed perfectly over the course of a few months or so, but because I still had to use the other leg as my main weight bearing side, it didn't get to properly heal like it should have. My sprained ankle's ligaments were very loose. The ankle kept collapsing over the course of 2023, through a round of physical therapy, and I just kept spraining my ankle over and over again whenever I tried to do more demanding things like working out. Being more active is very important to weight loss and health, so it was really frustrating.

Eventually, after trying to work out one too many times and foolishly not allowing the injury enough time to "heal," (and I use the term "heal" loosely because it never actually did and just became increasingly damaged) I ended up in putting myself into an immobilizing boot full time because of the collapsing extending itself into normal walking.

The first round of physical therapy made no difference, and I did a consultation with a different physical therapy place to see what they said. After going over my situation and having an assessment of my ankle with the physical therapist, I asked if he were in my shoes what he would choose to do. He said that if it were him, he'd do the surgery and follow it up with physical therapy to regain strength and balance.

So I had the surgery to fix it once and for all on January 19. (I was hoping to have the surgery ASAP, but couldn't do it in December like I originally hoped. My insurance was changing in January.)

The injury was apparently worse than the doctor initially thought it was, and I haven't been able to put any weight at all on it since then. I had been very much hoping to be able to put some weight on it again at my 3 week follow up, but no dice. I've been stuck exclusively on a knee scooter cart and crutches for over 5 weeks now. It's been such a struggle, in so many ways.

I've left the house literally 3 times since I got home after the surgery. Two follow up appointments with the foot and ankle doctor, and an interesting session of marriage counseling while I was drugged out of my mind on prescription painkillers. I honestly don't remember much of it, or that week in general. I was very happy to transition to ibuprofen and acetaminophen after the first week post-op.

I haven't been able to weigh myself since my last weigh in before the surgery on January 16, which is taking a very, very heavy toll on me and my mental health.

I've been having recurring nightmares about getting back on the scale and weighing more than I ever have in my life -- like 70+ lbs more than I did when I last weighed myself in January. I know rationally that I've actually lost weight and am very likely under 300 lbs now, but there's still this deep, nauseating fear that I'm wrong and weigh more than I ever did.

My husband assures me that he can tell that I've lost weight, but it doesn't feel real to me with my skewed perception -- like my brain tells me that the clothes that fit differently were obviously messed up while they were being washed and just ended up stretched out somehow.

I took measurements of my body when I started losing weight in September, and as of a week or so ago, I've lost 7" in my bust and hips and 5" in my waist. My brain tries to convince me that I just measured myself wrong in September, like I could somehow measure myself wrong with over 7" of difference with the exact same tape measure.

It makes no logical sense.

I have another follow up appointment with the foot and ankle doctor on Monday morning and get to find out if I can put weight on my left leg again after some x-rays to check my healing progress. (That makes me nervous because I still have some prominent bruises on one of my thighs that I had on January 20. They've gone from purple to brown, but they're still very obvious. It's supposed to take 2 weeks for bruises to go away. Not 5+.)

I really don't know that I can handle having to wait even longer to weigh myself again and start the process of getting back to walking and eventually working out.

I want so desperately to be able to make progress toward my goals instead of just miserably stagnating here.

I want to lose the weight. I want to be healthier. I want to feel better about myself. I want to have the chance to finally figure out things with my husband, even if the conclusion we ultimately come to isn't what I'm hoping for. I want to find a nice guy to date. I just want to move forward, actually live my life.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I guess?

[aaaahhhhhh]

Day 19 (10-11-24)

Weigh in day and also get my own scale day.

My first goal was to be under 215 lbs by today which is about 15 pounds in three weeks.

I crushed it. I weighed in at 203lbs. I'm so close to being under 200.

Also I didn't count any cals this weekend as I was with my family and had home cooked meals that I didn't make and was given pizza and cake. I didn't want to but I had to after my mom gave me that look. Anyways my estimate is over 2000 cals for today

Stay safe

[xx4nxn4l30nxx]

Intro ✨

I posted my stats a while ago but thought I'd post an intro! And some more stuff about me (+Current stats at the bottom)

Hi, I go by the alias Leon, I don't want anyone I know irl finding me so you will probably never see an actual picture of me. I do post a lot about my life and what it's like for me personally to have an ed in their early 20s.

I'm 21 and live on the west coast, I've had an ed most of my life. Mostly a bed though, I relapsed hard in 2019 with 4na and then relapsed hard into a bed when COVID hit and now I'm back with 4na after falling on hard times.

It is the only thing that makes me feel in control of my life.

I'm transmasc and my pronouns are he/they, my dysphoria gets triggered by my ed and vice versa, it is a lovely cycle.

You will often see me make my own templates and such, I feel weird using other people's images so you will rarely find me doing so (which is why most of my stuff looks so amateur lol)

DNI IF YOU ARE:

- UNDER 18

- FATPHOBIC

- TERF, HOMOPHOBIC, OR OVERALL A BIGOT

- 4NA &/OR TRANS CHASER (unless you want to give me $)

Feel free to ask me anything, my inbox should be open 🫰

Hw: 230 lbs

Lw: 180 lbs (honestly don't remember a time I was this small only vaguely lol)

Sw: 225 lbs

Cw: 198 lbs

Gw 1: 200 lbs

Gw 2: 180 lbs

Gw 3: 160 lbs

Gw 4: 140 lbs

Ugw: 115 lbs

Stay safe lovelies, may we have a fulfilling life and recover one day (even though we don't want to rn) 🤷🏻‍♀️

[numetaljackdog]

what i'm listening to november 2023. the agony

spot. link//yt link

song notes under cut

Laura Les - Haunted: haunted. by laura les.

Garbage - Queer: stand up for the fag anthem. but also let's be real one of the main draws here is the music video where shirley manson pushes the pov character down to the ground and forcibly shaves your head while singing "i know what's good for you." i'm a lesbian

Chris Fleming - W.U.G.: i've met a couple wugs in my time but more than anything i'm just on my chris fleming shit recently. this one has been stucks in my head sooo bad and bsaically anytime i see the word "guy" it comes back with a vengeance

Limp Bizkit & Method Man - N 2 Gether Now: random lb songs will really just crop up in my rotation for seemingly no reason but really this one has so many good lines and the addition of method man brings it up by so much. it's comical on some level bc it's like why is he here, he's like. a real rapper. and fred sounds so out of his depth next to him. but at the same time they both do actually really pretty good. pull the plug and then jet. MIC CHECK.

Sloppy Jane - Bark Like a God: recommended by a friend. need to listen to the full album but this goes insane goes crazy i mean those damn vocals and the THEMES ugh i mean what else do you need in this world. don't even really know what to call this band but it good and i need more

Almeda Riddle - My Little Rooster: Gummo is a 1997 American experimental drama film written and directed by Harmony Korine, starring Jacob Reynolds, Nick Sutton, Jacob Sewell, and Chloë Sevigny. The film is set (but was not filmed) in Xenia, Ohio, a Midwestern American town that had been previously struck by a devastating tornado. The loose narrative follows several main characters who find odd and destructive ways to pass time, interrupted by vignettes depicting other inhabitants of the town.

Destroy Boys - Fences: mostly just real catchy. many such cases. but there is a certain doggish quality to it as well

Enon - Natural Disasters: hi violer :3 ooh ahh the song so catchy the riff so tastey and shiney

Limp Bizkit - The Truth: i watched the band's short film of the same name recently and was pretty underwhelmed. but it did make me wanna go back and listen to the ep! it's been said to death but it's easily some of lb's best work, and not just because it's the serious one or whatever

Repo! The Genetic Opera - Night Surgeon: tbh there should be more repo on here but there's only so much space and this is undoubtedly my favorite track from the soundtrack (although "at the opera tonight" comes pretty damn close!!) i could listen to anthony head go "i remember" like that allllll day. i have been having some serious repo fixation recently i won't lie. give it a watch it's a normal movie

Foo Fighters - Everlong (Acoustic Version): okay look you guys know at this point how i get about everlong. so when i was watching hit film little nicky starring adam sandman and a rather beautiful sequence took place accompanied by a sparse acoustic version still laden in the characteristic warmth of the original song, of course i was hooked. and that's a nu metal-ass movie, too, but this was the pick i ended up making. that's special

Dropkick Murphys - I'm Shipping Up To Boston: WOOOOO BOSTON!!!!!!!! GO BRUINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET ME A CUP O DUNKS!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YANKEES SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <is not from boston but rather a different place entirely

Fefe Dobson - Unforgiven: why did nobody tell me about this fuckin nu metal x y2k pop fusion. this is like rina sawayama stfu but all the way back in 200-goddamn-3. fefe you were before your time

MGMT - Little Dark Age: i don't know mgmt that well but i heard a little bit of this song in a youtube video long ago and really liked it and could never find it and then i happened to encounter it again and was like oh hello my old acquaintance shall we get to know each other better

Billy Joel - All For Leyna: beginning to realize that billy is good actually. every little part of this song is crunchy and sweet and delicious for me. and god i sure am doing it all for leyna aren't i......

Tom Cardy & Brian David Gilbert - Beautiful Mind: tbh this was far from my favorite effort from either of these guys...... didn't really think it was all that funny. had a very lol random sort of appeal that just didn't hit me right. however it does sound amazing, really clean, and they both have nice voices. plus you know i love them harmonies

Taco - Puttin' on the Ritz: they play this a lot at a cafe i go to sometimes. i used to not like this song but it's really grown on me. it's one of those absolutely one-of-a-kind songs that could have only been a hit at the exact time and place that it was. and i like stuff like that! you might even say i think it's super duper :)

Violent Femmes - Breakin' Up: this song is dumb as balls. and it sounds way better in my head than it does to actually listen to it. but! the video is really cool, with that simple but effective camera trick. i enjoy that

Bowling For Soup - Girl All the Bad Guys Want: if the previous song was dumb as balls, this song is dumb as. like. the epididymis. or like a single sperm cell. i don;t know man it's a dumb fucking song. but it's about a cool rap rocker girl :3 and that's meeeeee probably. when i listen to it i like to rate each lyric on how true it is. watching wrestling? maybe now and then. creaming over tough guys? hmmm no i would simply not do this. but listening to rap metal? turntables in her eyes?? now we're fuckin talkin!!!!!!!!!!

[depressed-toku]

I dont want to be alone, but what am I supposed to do? I don't have anything to offer anyone,. I don't know how I can make friends when I can't even hold conversations with my siblings.

If I couldn't get dates when I was under 200 lbs and actively trying on multiple platforms, then how am I supposed to meet anyone when I'm older and fatter and uglier?

[lericekrispie]

Hello Hi, today I'm going to sell to you plus size Peter Sqloint

I've always drawn and envisioned Peter Sqloint as plus sized. For some reason, that's just how he appeared in my head. If you want to see how exactly how I envision him you can check out my art, OR, I have the fun little body visualizer I can show you.

I have the measurements in for 5' 4", 200 lbs, and quite a bit (10hr) of exercise, because you know they do be walking around a bunch.

This looks average! This looks like an average person you could just go out and see, and that's how I've been drawing him! And Peter's entire bit is being average or slightly below.

But I ran the BMI for this (BMI is a scam but people know the metric so I did it anyways), and this is OBESE? This looks like a normal person to me, and I know for a fact that you can be healthy, working a 9-5 service job on your feet all day sweating and breaking your back getting 15,000 steps a day and still look like this. I know because I work in the food industry (in the US) and a lot of my co-workers have bodies that are very similar to this, at least in weight.

Yet I find it hard to find media with people who look like this.

As a curvy man/woman myself, more than 200lbs, it's hard for me to find cute clothes that fit me. I'm so self conscious of my breathing, I've always been self conscious of my jawline, my arms, my thighs. It took me a long time to become happy with my body, but I think with the boom of body positivity on social media and the appreciation of bigger bodies and my own mental work, I was able to overcome my insecurities and see myself for the bad bitch I am.

Yet there is a lot of work to be done as a community.

I especially think that right now is the right time to be talking about these things, and to bring it to light, because there are so many more people who are speaking out about things, and so many more people who actually care.

Before we continue, I would like to say that in case you were worried, this is not a dig at JRWI, this is just social commentary. I would like to point out that my experience with this community has been leaps and bounds ahead of any other community I have ever been apart of, with body diversity, poc characters (at least headcannons ._.), and appreciating beautiful non-white standards. (like the headcannon Jay hooked nose) (I'm going to throw my hat in the ring and say that anime fandoms and fandoms that have 'twinkification problems' have this weak spot, please don't take this personally)

Plus size Peter Sqloint is important to me because I feel media, especially media that is ran off of fanart, prefer white beauty standards, even if it is sub-conscious. It's getting better, and there are great artists who are poc and body positive and amazing, but they don't always get the same attention as others. It's important for people to see themselves, especially if their body is A NORMAL AND AVERAGE SIZE! THAT BODY TYPE IS NORMAL! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIND THAT! And not finding it sometimes feels like your the outlier, that you are unattractive, you are the weirdo.

And it fits so well with his story. with Peter growing comfortable in his skin, from being average to extraordinary, but it was in him all along, and he doesn't have to drastically change (like loose weight) for him to realize that.

Also I would like to point out how important it is for media to show big people getting loved!!!! For being considered attractive! How powerful it would be for someone like Rumi, the literal embodiment of perfection, tall, sleek, elegant, what the general beauty world would consider to be a drop dead gorgeous runway model, to fall head over heels for someone like Peter! Because big people are gorgeous, big people are attractive, big people are lovable! And especially a queer story as well?! Where they are not just both 'skinny twinks'? (nothing wrong with that, but there are more relationships than just that). I think that is a powerful under-the-surface story that Apotheosis could tell about Peter Sqloint, and they wouldn't even have to retcon anything except canonize Peter's weight. You can't tell me that the story couldn't be read that way, with this context! This is my sell to you, my sell for you to start seeing Peter Sqloint as a plus sized man, and see his story how I've seen his story.

TLDR: Peter Sqloint is a plus sized man because he is gorgeous and beautiful and it fits amazingly with his story and he deserves it :)

[ipreferthecold]

Losing 30 lbs

I'm new to this so i don't really know what to say but I’ll give u some details about myself. I'm not going to be giving out my real name so we will call me Cora. I'm 14, 5'4, and 139 lbs. I'm currently on summer break and want to lose atleast 20 lbs before school starts. (August 15th) I've already been drinking 2 bottled waters, eating 400 cals or under, and I'm a swimmer, so i get a good cardio workout. I think I'm gonna try and aim for 200 cals and under and 4 bottled waters. Creating this page is gonna help me keep track on what I'm eating everyday and how much weight i lose. If anybody can drop some tips to lose weight and/or not binge that would be great! <3

[rosetintedgunman]

DOSSIER CHEAT SHEET

-

LEGAL NAME: Colonel William Jackson Barnum

NICKNAME[S]: Colonel, Will, Young Barnum, Private, Balai (‘Broom’ in French)

DATE OF BIRTH: June 14th, 1897 (implied to be 28 by time of W.KM)

GENDER: Male

PLACE OF BIRTH: Unspecified. Implied to be in the state of California.

CURRENTLY LIVING: A small cottage near the edge of the city, but in walking distance (by William's standards) to both the Manor and the barracks.

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English (also REALLY bad French. Do not believe him if he says he's fluent)

EDUCATION: Academically, he dropped out of high school at 16 and apprenticed as a handyman under his father. He is a fully trained soldier.

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown/black

EYE COLOR: Brown

HEIGHT: 6 foot 3 inches

WEIGHT: I have no idea. I've never looked this up, and I'm not going to look into it now. I'm going to guess somewhere between 190 - 200 lbs.

-

FAMILY INFORMATION

Reminder: This is not taking into account the scenario of Mark and William being genetically related that blogs may have for their own lore. This will all be disregarded in those cases and I will adjust if needed.

SIBLING[S]: He was the youngest of six. He has three older brothers - Johnny, Ernest, and Harvey - and two older sisters - Lizzie and Annie.

PARENT[S]: Frank and Minnie Barnum

RELATIVE[S]: Due to the large age gap between him (twelve years between him and the second youngest), all his older siblings had married by the time he was in high school. Because of this, he was in the strange position of having at least nine nieces or nephews older than him, and three younger than him. And that's not mentioning his aunts and uncles. There's too many to list, but I should remind you that he was named after his uncle due to the miracle of surviving the odds at birth. Also, if one of his parents took a shine to you, you became an honorary Barnum.

CHILDREN: None. While he did have a reputation, back in the day, he was always careful. He could barely look after himself, let alone a whole other person.

PET[S]: None, for the same reason as above.

-

RELATIONSHIP INFORMATION

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual, though depending on the setting it's not something he actively explores.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single in pretty much every setting. My boy continues my notorious bad luck with ships. But he's also a homewrecker so he doesn't deserve happiness :D

-

tagged by: @pinkxtrauma

tagging: I'll be honest, I'm not in the headspace to start trying to think of tagging people. So go for it, if you want.

[wanttobepr3tty]

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

✩.･:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•:｡✩

╰┈➤ Diet SW: 66.2 kg / 145.9 lbs

╰┈➤ Diet GW: 63.5 kg / 140 lbs

:𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓓𝓲𝓮𝓽 ➷ :✧˖°࿐ 💖

Day 01: 982 / 1100 kcal 💜

Day 02: 1043 / 1050 kcal 💜

Day 03: 997 / 1000 kcal 💜

Day 04: 873 / 900 kcal 💜

Day 05: 791 / 800 kcal 💜

Day 06: 671 / 700 kcal 💜

Day 07: 576 / 800 kcal 💜

Day 08: 798 / 800 kcal 💜

Day 09: 481 / 900 kcal 💜

Day 10: 842 / 850 kcal 💜

Day 11: 1768 / 800 kcal 💔

Day 12: 786 / 500 kcal 💔

Day 13: 1238 / 400 kcal 💔

Day 14: / 300 kcal

Day 15: / 300 kcal

Day 16: / 200 kcal

✩.･:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•:｡✩

╰┈➤ End of the 𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓓𝓲𝓮𝓽

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Day 04 (19/08/23):

Everything is going slay so far 🫶🏼 Planning your meals in advance matters! It's 2 am right now and I love how empty my stomach feels

Day 06 (21/08/23):

Yayy I stayed under my limit 🥺 I thought it'd be more challenging since before this I've been eating around 1300-1600 calories per day

Day 08 (23/08/23):

I went over my limit but burnt the excess cals. I feel guilty about it so I'll try to stay around 500 cals tomorrow instead of 900

Day 10 (25/08/23):

Today went well. But I'm meeting with some of my old friends tomorrow for lunch so oof :c

Day 11 (26/08/23):

I've exceeded the limit by around 1k calories. Great. So from now on I'll be setting the limit to 200 calories less. So instead of the limit being 700 tomorrow, it'll be 500